#mysoultellsmeanother

[theglassboxx]

Morning thoughts 💭

When you’re bipolar something people don’t mention is how hard your ❤️ life really is! I find that we as bipolar (from experience and talking to others) that we have trouble with many points in love- 💋

Example - I can become obsessed almost with my s.o - like I want to be with them all the time - like our souls match 👩‍❤️‍👨- than there are other times when his breathing makes me feel question “why is your breathing so ‘breathy’” lol🤣. 💨

I find that many of us as well have issues with trust- a lot of that is based on our raising yes.... but it’s like I think I know (notice I said I think I know) that people are out to sabatoge me- that people aren’t really my friends or that I’m a burden. 👩🏽‍💻

I’ve been divorced once- 🪓 I can honestly say that I did not have a handle on my bipolar at all when I was married to my ex- but unfortunately he had his problems and he wasn’t handling his- two broke people can’t always build each other up when they can barely build themselves-🌙

I believe in medic💊ation to help me- but as I have learned- I believe that not every doc really is listening to you- sometimes getting help is like pulling teeth - than sometimes you don’t need help and it’s thrown at you- 💆🏽‍♀️

As a bipolar who has been 🥼institutionalized I can attest that I watch my mouth when it comes to therapist,psychologists and psychiatrist! I’m a veteran 🧨 and after my visit to the fun house I’ll call it- I went back to the va for something- I expressed how I was feeling- well next thing I knew they were nurses and social workers at the door waiting- I remembered think “awe shit I done fucked up”! But I assured them I was ok and they let me walk.

But I’m going to be truthful - just from my experience- I don’t trust social workers and I barely trust our system- so what did I do to change that ? Cause I can hear you saying something about I have all these complaints but ain’t changing anything- well I am- I ironically enough am in grad school for psychology-📚 I tried two semesters of an MSW school and truthfully I hated the whole thing. So I went back to psych.

I have a lot of dreams 💭and I know that I’ll have a hell of a lot of hurdles to jump to get there- I don’t have a straight path to my goals 🥅 but I’ll be dammed if I just give up and let bipolar win! 🏆

Today will be a better day- I have to think positive- I have to focus on other things besides those thoughts in my head-

Thoughts bought to you by the number 1 and the letter B and cafe buestelo ☕️