#n its weird bein like this cuz its like..the last time i was Completely unmedicated i was like. 13 yrs old lmao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

monsterbisexual · 2 years

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more n more often lately i just have the thought of like if i could just have a big dramatic freakout where i didnt worry abt it inconveniencing anybody making em feel uncomfortable/upset etc etc cuz i dont think ive ever actually done that unless i was a v tiny little kid cuz as long as i can remember ive worried abt that stuff more than i worried abt how i was feelin n how maybe if i just let myself scream a lil (not at someone. dont wanna hurt ppl ever ever or be mean) or idk. fuckin..thrashed around like a freak or smth maybe id end up feelin a lil better after

#ive had a harder time dealin w that lately i think cuz like externally besides this v recent fucked up thing w my friends #my general life situation hasnt changed much #its just that i cant handle shit as easily as i used to now everything gets to me so bad #cant just let shit go not that i was ever actually good at that #but i just feel myself gettin irritable quicker lately n thats the scary thing cuz like what if im mean to someone id wanna die #but like yea also its just hard dealin w anything cuz every little thing feels like a huge world ending thing or just makes me feel so bad #n its weird bein like this cuz its like..the last time i was Completely unmedicated i was like. 13 yrs old lmao #n i know its related to that but i try n convince myself its a coincidence that things are so hard lately but like lmao cmonnn #p #dlt ltr im fine just feelin extra insane abt shit idk #also abt the never lettin myself freak out cuz itd be a burden on others #i rly do wonder if thats part of why i went so long undiagnosed autism-wise #had to do that shit myself when i grew up cuz they didnt want a weirder kid n probs didnt see it anyway!

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