#its just that i cant handle shit as easily as i used to now everything gets to me so bad

[monsterbisexual]

more n more often lately i just have the thought of like if i could just have a big dramatic freakout where i didnt worry abt it inconveniencing anybody making em feel uncomfortable/upset etc etc cuz i dont think ive ever actually done that unless i was a v tiny little kid cuz as long as i can remember ive worried abt that stuff more than i worried abt how i was feelin n how maybe if i just let myself scream a lil (not at someone. dont wanna hurt ppl ever ever or be mean) or idk. fuckin..thrashed around like a freak or smth maybe id end up feelin a lil better after

[kiibichio]

PLAY DATE 2. 𐙚 ❤︎ M. STURNIOLO

OVERVIEW ;; you and matt get into a heated argument over your ‘friends with benefits’ deal, how will it end ?? (good ending i promise)

CONTAINS ;; angst, fluff, good ending !! (that’s it?)

momo speaks ;; PART TWO OF THISSS. this was so fun to writeee. I HOPE U GUYS REALLY LIKED IT BC I WORKED HARDD MAN I WAS BREAKING A SWEAT OVER HERE (but kinda rushed). enjoy !! (PART ONE HERE <33)

date published ;; 02.20.24

not proofread !!

——————————————————————————————

6:49 pm.

“are you serious? you just told me you ‘missed me so much’, but you’re letting me leave just like that? am i just some sort of play date to you?” i ask, sitting up. anger, sadness and confusion written all over my face.

maybe i shouldn’t have said that.

matt goes silent for a while, then speaks up.

“you do realize that when we started this we both mutually agreed to have no feelings right?” he says, trying to keep his cool

“well- i mean yeah, but-” i try to speak

“then what makes you think i want to be something more?” he cuts me off. he stands up and starts to get dressed.

“matt. good fucking god, i mean you just have sex with me that damn near kick me out?”

tears start filling my eyes. shit.

“yeah!” he exclaims sarcastically “i do because when we established this, i told you i didnt want a fucking relationship. we’re just friends that just so happen to fuck.” matt raises his voice at me.

then the water works break. goddammit.

i wipe my eyes before speaking up, “okay then… if that’s how you want it to be, then we can end this shit right fucking now. im not gonna allow myself to be used like some damn sex toy.”

“wait.. y/n- c’mon i didn’t mean it like that.” matt tries to explain, regretting what he had just said.

“oh no. i fully understand what you meant,” i reply, now getting dressed.

“fuck..” he mumbles under his breath, but still loud enough for me to hear.

“that’s all you have to say?” i stand up after putting my shoes on, crossing my arms in front of the bedroom door.

matt goes silent.

“oh, what? we’re mute now? real cute.” i ask sarcastically before storming out the room. he follows behind me, trying to explain himself with ‘y/n this!’ and ‘y/n that!’ but i easily tune him out.

as i reach the front door, it starts to open.

it’s just chris and nick, i give a small wave and quickly pass by them and start walking to my house.

ill be damned if i ever let somebody treat me like this shit again.

——————————————————————————————

an hour later, i get a knock on my door. dear lord, who is it now? i walk over to the front door and open it.

matt’s on the other side.

“hey.. forgot your phone…” he says sheepishly, handing it over to me.

“mhm. thanks.” i answer. i start to close the door before he pushes it open again.

“can i… come in?” he asks

“why? so you can screw me over again? no thanks.”

“y/n. im serious. please?”

i can tell he’s serious, but im still hesitant.

i sigh and open the door wider to let him enter.

he makes his way to the couch, while i lock the door and follow behind him, but sitting on the opposite side of him.

there’s a few moments of uncomfortable silence.

“just gonna sit there?”

he lets out a deep breath, “listen, i’m sorry for yelling at you earlier. i didn’t take your feelings into consideration and i clearly wasn’t thinking in that moment.” matt explains sincerely.

“i accept your apology. and i understand, but now that my secrets out, we cant keep doing this. it’s just- not.. right.” i shake my head

“that’s another thing i wanted to talk about. it’s not that i don’t like you.. i do- it’s just…” he sighs

“what, matt? you can talk to me. we’re still friends.” i speak. i move closer to him and put my hand on top of his.

“ive been extremely busy lately. flying back and forth, videos, podcasts, everything. its just a lot to handle and im not sure im ready for commitment. so its not a no.. its just a ‘not now.’” he looks at me.

after he said that, i felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders. i needed that sense of reassurance. but now i feel like the asshole. i should’ve thought about him too.

“that’s perfectly fine, matt. i can handle that.” i start to smile, “ill wait for you, matt. take as much time as you need.”

he hugs me and i can feel his face growing into a soft smile against my shoulder.

“thank you, y/n.”

4 months later ;;

“matt! baby, i missed you so much!!” i say, leaping in his arms as he walks out into the airport parking lot towards my car. i attack him with kisses all over his face and hug him just a bit too tight.

“too tight, my love.” he says almost out of breath.

“it’s not my fault, this is the first time you’ve ever left me like this! i just really, really missed you.” i exclaim, letting go of him.

“you’re so extra.” he chuckles

okay that first part was a partial lie, but it really is the first time he’s gone back to boston without his girlfriend of 2 months!

“can you two get a room? good fucking god.” nick says disgusted, chris nodding his head and agreeing with his brother.

me and matt both shoot them the middle finger and continue walking to the car.

he grabs my hand, “i missed you too, though baby. i was thinking about you the whole time. and…” he continues to tell me how much he had missed me and loves me.

best boyfriend ever.

——————————————————————————————

momo speaks (again) ;; ugh this was really rushed im sorry if it sucks 😭😭 BUT I GOT IT DONE. love you guys <3 hope you enjoyed !! TOODLES xx

tag list ;; @sturniolos-blog @mayhem-72 @hearts4chris 🍵

[hotchs-big-hands]

ngl i would genuinely get off to making haley jealous and angry because of how fucking easy it is. my personal hc here but i think she was controlling and thought she had hotch wrapped around her finger and it infuriated her that his job was the only thing he refused to listen to her about. i also think she tried to baby trap him with jack in the assumption that would "fix" their marriage and when it only made it worse she blamed aaron for never being home when she easily couldve hired a nanny or regular babysitter so she could work or do whatever. i believe she cheated bc of that one phone call to their house when hotch answered and it was a random man asking for haley before hanging up and the look hotch gave her like yeah he knew she was fucking around too. i think it made her even angrier that when she filed for divorce hotch didnt even fight her onit! didnt ask to work things out or for counseling or anything. just "okay ill sign the papers when i get back from this case"

now assuming reader is mid twenties i think your very existence would have her enraged. aaron seems happier and even healthier. hes got more color in his face, hes put on some healthy weight, he smiles and laughs now, he takes more time off work, his life has clearly significantly improve since she left him and she cant fucking stand it. she thought she was the best thing that ever happened to him and now shes seeing in real time she's actually the worst thing ♥️♥️

and you thinks its funny as hell to watch a 40 year old woman with a whole ass kid be that bent out of fucking shape because the man SHE LEFT is fine without her. like yes maam i am younger than you, hotter than you, nicer than you AND i can ride the dick just right. stay pressed bitch 💕. and when she tries interfering in your relationship hotch asks you to put up with it just for a bit because he knows hack is still adjusting to coparenting and he wants the best for his son so you let him handle his exwife until she crosses a line and tries to accuse you of some shit and aaron finally puts his foot down and haley cant believe that shes really lost complete control over aaron (haha fuck you haley)

like i fantasize about a situation where haley is trying SOOOO hard to break yall up and drive a wedge between you two and it isnt until jacks birthday or some big family function aaron brought you too and haley cant help it but lowkey stalk yall all night and so youre like "aaron watch this" and you drag him off to some secluded corner and hes like ??? but you tell him "hold on baby give it a minute. bet you anything haley pops up" and then once you hear footsteps you give aaron a big fat smooch and surprise surprise!! whos coming around the corner? why its haleys stalker ass following you two like a creep!

i literally just want to cuck haleys pathetic ass because fuck her and her scraggly blonde hair and that nappy ass wig she had on in witness protection with her no-style-no-personality-all-about-me havin ass 😒😒😒😒

sorry this is such a convoluted mess i just hate that lady 😭😭

I NEEDN'T SAY MORE THIS IS EXACTLY MY THOTS I WANT THAT WOMAN SEEEETHING AT THE SIGHT OF AARON BEING HAPPY AND THRIVING. SHE WOULD ABSOLUTELY BE THE CRAZY EX WHO PROBABLY ENDS UP HARASSING YOU.

The SECOND she says smth nasty abt you Aaron is soooooo fucking pissed. She insults you saying you're just a whore sleeping with Aaron for his money (and cuz us babes are plus-size queens she HATES THAT) and that Aaron is not attracted to you.

And Aaron OOF he takes her to one side and tells her she is fucking nothing but the mother of his child now. That YOU are his everything. YOU make him the man he is now. He's fucking happy with you as the love of his life and that Haley made him chronically stressed and depressed and almost completely ruined his self esteem. He warns her to back the fuck off from him and reader. He does not want any communication with her unless it's to do with Jack. End of.

[kiwibongos]

im writing Something for a little fic and i was putting stuff in my notes for later on and it really just made me realize like how fucked up hajime is after all the Horrors. like, emotionally. him rediscovering emotions entirely. (maybe someone has talked abt this before, i just wanna store this here)

because when he's less of a hollow shell, all there is is grief and guilt in his brain. but then as time goes on, he slowly rediscovers what it means to be human, and learns these feelings again one by one. and it has to be such an agonizing process too ? and when they do happen, theyre all extremely overwhelming, out of the blue, and most likely even caused by really small things. my dude will eat a stale piece of bread or even smell expired dairy products, suddenly relearn disgust and feel ABSOLUTELY nauseous and just hurl over lmaoo

but for as for more serious topics, like properly feeling anger again, it'd be ticked off by little shit, bc he doesn't wanna lose control like that cause the frustration doubles. it'd get bad when he makes a mistake too. he'd freak the hell out, because izuru was the embodiment of perfection, of every talent cultivated into one single brain, so he *cant* mess up, but its too much for him to handle cause he's so used to being under that obligation and expectation, but now that he's losing his stability over all that, when he messes up just *slightly*, he feels ashamed and tries to fix it as fast as possible, whether or not its a big deal. itd definitely be really hard to get out of the mindset that, even though hes not izuru anymore, he has to be perfect. to him, he has to stay that way. cause if he fails at all, then he can't protect his friends anymore. does that make sense. the pressure would be literally crushing

also shock/surprise/excitement. everything was predictable and boring to him as izuru, so obviously all of that is still a huge issue that still lingers within him after the simulation, so he'd probably overcome that first and be caught off guard a lot bc, well, he's learning to be hajime again, he's not *exactly* the op superhuman genius anymore (in my head at least. cause when two minds practically mash together weirdly it creates a horrible hit-or-miss concoction lol) so even basic things become brand new to him, and hes fascinated and curious by everyone and everything. not like hes never seen it before, but its like hes experiencing it for the first time, even if its just mundane tasks in life, new methods and alternatives to things, etc. he's generally a very observant guy, and would also pick up on little traits and habits from all his friends. i have the feeling people would rub off on him extremely easily

love, serenity and happiness itself would be extremely hard to tackle and learn, or even notice? i think of so many scenarios of how this could happen. cause like sure he can feel joy, he can be glad, proud, relieved, and smile because his friends are there. but he's still yet to experience what happiness truly is, what it means to him, and it's not something he can do alone. so it just takes a while for that big boom to happen. perhaps its up to interpretation how it happens, go for it idc i have alot of scenarios stirring up in my brain, but overall, i think him actually bursting with happiness and feeling genuine peace within himself, and realize hes grateful for the life he has, and the future he got to choose, would probably be caused in the process of moving to jabberwock island. just seeing all his friends on the boat and knowing they've made it this far, and theyre going to be starting a new life on this island, and that theyre safe, would be enough to just like hit him. like Ough. and thats when he actually consciously realizes that he's happy, when every other waking moment, there's been some kind of empty pit in his stomach eating at him for so long

on top of all of this, he cant really control his emotions very well, either. thats also another massive con to all of it, and a downside of relearning these things because of how strongly they came swinging back. its alot to handle. even if theres so much knowledge packed in his brain, one little thing like that could be enough to make him bluescreen. so he ends up just going on autopilot or stuffing all of it away, just to make the bad stuff stop. (it becomes a very unhealthy habit that bites him in the ass later. everyone is mad at him for not taking care of himself. hajime is then swaddled into a blanket with a kiss on the forehead)

anyway theres probably more to add and id get into the nitty gritty of specific shit but i had to impulsively dump this here so might as well put up the basics. makes me so excited to work on this fic more, even if its in a more somber, different context, i just love to think about hajime and how he works through his emotions and picking up his old traits. yknow, being himself. but at the same time he isn't doing it alone. let my boy be happy. let him find himself again and move on from izuru

[archer3-13]

I HAVE COMPLETED ALL OF THE STARTING CLASS QUESTLINES IN FFXIV, SO HERES AN OFF THE CUFF COMPARISON OF THE STARTING CLASSES

this will all be subject to opinion of course, but idk i wanna do it.

starting with, how do each of the starting classes play before you upgrade to the proper jobs?

not well on the whole if im being honest. i dont think any one of the classes stand out in the below 30 range, a consequence of being the basic building blocks of the game but still. from best to worst

1 pugilist: its fast, it hits hard, its gimmick is easy to grasp, and it gives you a good collection of tools to easily slip in to how people generally play this insane game. the only bit i have a problem with would be steel peak and the chakra gauge, as steel peak feels pretty useless at the pugilist level [it hits slightly harder then a normal hit, but your basic combo is just better in every way then the set up it needs].

2 lancer: rather plain missionary as far as a dps class goes, though i feel thats to its benefit in many ways as its real simple to figure out and use. plus javelins are a nice poking tool as everyone charges recklessly ahead. what brings the class down somewhat is that it has no aoe before dragoon and that it feels sluggish compared to something like pugilist. hit sound effect is deliciously cronchy though.

3 archer: pretty much everything you'd realistically want from the class honestly, it feels a bit sluggish at the start but when ya unlock the aoe shooting the class quickly becomes one of the best for handling large groups of enemies. its solid all around if somewhat unexciting at times sitting in the back shooting arrows.

4 marauder/gladiator: putting them together because they play exactly the bloody same below 30. thankfully despite the worry i had going into a tanking class, i found myself rather enjoying the kit. the most difference between the two i'll note is that marauder is more aggressive well gladiator is more reactive as far as tanking goes. but again, at the below 30 level they play exactly the bloody same.

5 rogue: id like this class more if its kit was a bit bigger. like lancer its lacking aoe before upgrade but unlike lancer its kit is way too small to offer much variety in how you approach situations. plus the hide and backstab stuff is only really useful, so far anyways, in story moments or open world cheese. regardless, the class is fast and hits well so its feels exhilarating to use.

6 arcanist: its kinda intimidating when ya first get hold of it, but i find once ya get a grasp on the class its actually one of the more fun ones to play at low level. i feel it hits harder and faster then other magic classes, you can do a lot with it, and getting the rhythm for its use feels real satisfying.

7 conjurer: being a low level healer feels agonizing, your squishy, you cant hit too hard or fast, and the micromanaging feels daunting especially when your first getting used to the class. and when ya get the hang of it, it doesn't feel quite as rewarding as other classes as your generally stuck to the tanks ass, and if your arent stuck to the tanks ass then shits gone horribly wrong. atleast people seem to appreciate you more.

8 thaumaturge: unlike conjurer which was cursed by design as a basic bitch healer, thaumaturge feels awful to play on the whole in my experience. ironically you dont feel like your hitting as hard as the arcanist, your slower, the switching gauge gets annoying, and ya cant really do anything exciting with the class. i dont hate it, but i do think if a new player is starting with it, they'd get a pretty aggravating impression of the game.

and now, onto the stories of the class questlines themselves! again from best to worst

1 rogue: massively benefits from being the late comer. its more extensive, more cinematic, the character writing well not anything extraordinary is still solid overall, and well the quests can be a bit lengthy they do offer interesting things to do.

2 lancer: gets to rest at the top of the pile less because of anything specific it does and more so because of how it stands out. the only class quest line that functions as an honest to god tragedy/parable/whatever ya wanna call it which elevates it otherwise smaller nature compared to other class quests. i dont feel foulques is actually all that interesting of a character, and if another starting class questline took a similar approach as the lancer quests then i feel he'd be far less memorable [as hes just kinda a self important ass at the end of the day, despite his tragic backstory]. Still, in the lancer quests case, simplicity is elegance in that the quests are straightforward and the story direct in its impact. inelegant definitely. unique, definitely.

3 conjurer: its okay. doesn't trip over itself, says what it wants to say, and has you doing things that arent too much of a hassle. i really like its ending scene too where... conjurer girl finally properly connects with the nature magic vibes for the first time, and remarks on how much more alive everything now feels. its euphoric in a way, and makes the process of getting to the end refreshing.

4 pugilist: dumb but in a fun way, the quest stories for pugilist dont take themselves too seriously and just have fun with what they're doing and in that sense it makes the pugilist quests a lot more fun then i think they would be otherwise. its not a gutbuster, but its intentional comedy that lands which is to its favour. some of the quests themselves can be kinda annoying to do though.

5 archer: kinda bland and it trips over itself getting to the end. i like what its trying to do, taking two characters who follow diametric beliefs about archery and who get at each others throats, only to come together in the end to emphasize the benefits of cooperation, cultural exchanges and crosses, and to tie to archeries literal history within gridanias context. elezen dudes a bit too prickly though without getting enough redressing on the matter, miqo'te girl is underwritten which makes her struggles not land with as much weight as they should, and i feel the plot takes such a sharp turn into the poacher bandit thing that the ending lands with more of a whimper then a bang. plus the quests themselves can be rather annoying. still, it was trying to do something interesting and didn't completely fail in that regard.

6 gladiator: i like some of the character dynamics at play and the quests dont suck. the story is too ambitious for its actual runtime though, so everything feels rushed and underwritten, and theres nothing really at play here that connects too deeply to what it means to be a ffxiv gladiator either in terms of themes, setting or even just on a functional gameplay level like all of the above classes. those characters are the only thing holdin it at 6 really.

7 arcanist: im not a big fan on glasses characters so a story heavily featuring them and generic genius academic type characters who prattle on about statistics and probability or what not... well that wasn't gonna be a slam dunk for me. the plot for these ones also just feels meandering, and like the archer plot it takes a hard swerve into the new thing it introduces at the tail end to its own detriment, only even more so. at the end of the day im just not sure what they were trying to do here overall. plus some of the quests are kinda a pain to complete.

8 marauder: boooooooooring. not only is the story a drag, but its characters are not interesting in the slightest save for like... one joke about marauders not being good at subtly. plus its difficult to have a story where your antagonistic force is a monsterous animal that doesnt speak human, unless you really well characterize the monster or have good characters on the side. and the marauder quests dont do either of these. finally what doesn't help is that the quests themselves are kinda boring to play.

9 thaumaturge: this one legit pisses me off, and it has everything to do with the story and nothing to do with the characters. im not a big fan of the characters mind, but they're fine. whats happening though in terms of character actions and plot movement is just stupid though, especially that damn jar with the devil in it. and to top it off, the ending feels anti climatic as fuck! the one brother well possessed goes around killing at least a dozen people, yet theres no remark on the matter after the possession and the intended theme to be take away from all this is "believe in yourself :)". fuck this questline.

[crazylittlejester]

DAILY BRAINROT

Today I biked the whole way from my apartment to Walmart, and somehow it left me in significantly more pain than walking does. I also learned that it's really easy to lose things from bike baskets and ended up making it the whole way to my kitchen before I realized that the bottle of lime juice I bought ended up in the parking lot.

0/10 experience, would not recommend.

I still hold fast to the idea that Academia AU Hyrule bikes a lot of places, though because he's just Built Different. I haven't played his games yet because I want to do LoZ before AoL and I haven't figured out how to set it up on my phone yet, but it fits.

If I remember correctly, he's only ever described as being a traveler, and since he doesn't have any form of transportation other than walking, I think it's safe to say he's either an average citizen or on the poor side. (I also just love the idea of poor college student Hyrule in modern AUs. It's a whole vibe.)

And can you imagine this guy driving a car? I feel like he's got his driver's license for legal identification purposes and so that he can say he can drive, he just doesn't like doing it. (Him and Spirit bond over their dislike of car-based infrastructure.) He can and will drive Twilight's rusty old pickup truck in emergencies, though.

Public transportation like the bus is also something I can see him using, especially if he can't use his bike at the moment, but the bus system is something a person can easily get lost in. I once ended up at the wrong terminal for an hour because I got on a bus going in the opposite direction I was trying to go.

Anyway, I am captivated by the idea of giving him a mountain bike that's in the classic green and brown Link color palette. It's clearly old and loved, and Four's had to help take it apart and put it back together at least once now, but it's never broken beyond repair, and it's always gotten him where he wants to go. (Eventually.) It probably also has one or two modifications so he can carry stuff on it without losing things in the parking lot like me.

I also had some thoughts about EoW again, but I lost them because my brain is just full of bikes...

😭 god damn dude im so sorry

im love the idea of Hyrule having a license just for legal purposes or whatever and then just NEVER driving ever. He walks or bikes everywhere he likes exploring alskdkdkd

to be so fr i cant do buses unless its LATE at night. its just too many people for me to handle and its a lot of information all at once and i get very lost 😔 i also live in an area where you HAVE to drive everywhere because everything is so far away. there are buses and shit in the city and around my college campus but people mainly drive or (if they’re feeling a bit crazy) bike

YES. YES YES YES I LOVE IT OH MY GOD.

got bikes on the brain 😔 algskgsks

[hwrdak]

.

[jinnwenhe]

regarding romance!

╒══════════════════╕

Used artwork credits

Hop

Bede

Leon

Raihan

╘══════════════════╛

———☆️

Hop🍀

It started as the cliché love story about falling in love with your very own bestfriend

Which, actually turned out great??

His Zacian/Zamazenta loves you as much as it's trainer does, and is willing to protect you from anything

Probably because it observed Hop being protective over you, and proceeding to do the same

Sure it might took a toll on him when you defeated him on the championship semi-finals, but he wanted you to be happy more than anything

He's such a sweetheart even if he doesn't show it much

The type to appreciate small little things, especially when it comes from you

"Let's camp together!!"

You camped together

He got chased by a wild steelix whilst trying to gather data for his research later

His Zamazenta/Zacian was busy playing with your own legendary

*from the distance* "GAH! HELP!"

You ran after him and calmed down the wild steelix

Then you walked to him and checked if he got any wounds or scratches, which leads you to cupping his face gently with a worried look on your face

Hop's blushing

He's freaking out inside

You didn't notice the tint of blush dusting his cheeks,which gradually reddens with each second that passes

"im okay, dont worry" he tried his best reassuring you

Even though he's blushing, he proceeded to press his forehead gently against yours, closing his eyes and smiling

oh no he's cute

You're blushing

haha blushy reader

You let him do his thing, its somewhat calming

He's warmm

His hands are calloused, different from yours; you just remembered this when he placed his hand on top of yours while you were checking for his wounds from before

This just shows how much he's been working off to reach the champion title

And yet he's completely alright with you taking the spotlight

After all, you're his shining star

And he wouldn't have it in any other way

You let him borrow your champion cape

And he lets you borrow his labcoat

It fits just right with you! And it got his scent, which calms you down whenever you're feeling anxious

When you wear his labcoat, you're 1000000000% irresistible to his eyes

"Don't be so adorableee" he said as he pulled you into a hug and burying his face in your neck

You only laughed softly at his reaction. He was blushing too,,,

You often waited for him to finish his lab work, even if it's until late hours

He's a really hard worker, no wonder he stayed until late

"Im sorry for making you wait"

He looks exhausted, but tried his best to pull a bright smile, not wanting to worry you

You only gave him a warm hug, which surprised him at first before he hugs you back and proceed to walk you to your house

💓💓💓 < your heart

Comfort time

There's usually some jerks who'd tease you for being the champion, or flirt with you in an impolite way

If Hop caught on to this, he would politely ask them to leave

If they still dont understand, his legendary comes out of his pokeball and growl at them

He'd ask them one more time to stop bothering you, but this time, with a menacing smile that says "stay here any longer and you wont get to see another daylight"

Then he'd check up on you, asking if you're alright, if they did anything to you or whatnot

Hed wrap his arms around your waist and drape his labcoat over you, because he knows his labcoat always manages to calm you down

"It's okay, you're okay, everything is alright now, c'mere"

You let him hug you as you feel safe around him, and you two stayed in that position until you feel alright again

💕💕

———☆️

Bede🍰

He's not the best at showing affection but at least he tries

You help him come out with quizzes for his gym challenge

And sometimes joke about the poses he makes when practicing

Sometimes, he gets reminded that you're the champion of Galar and he's way out of your trainer level

Which actually motivates him to become the strongest gym leader there is by pushing past his limits

"I'll show you how strong fairy types can be"

He said to himself as he was thinking about you

People kept misunderstanding fairy types after all, and thats a big mistake

You appreciate his efforts in maxing out his strength, and you show it by coming to his fairy stadium whenever he battles a challenger

You texted him "good luck, I'll be cheering 4 u!❤️❤️👍" before his matches start

And you looked at his direction after sending the message

He has just gotten your message, and opened it

Which leads to him blushing furiously as he covers his face with one of his hands

He took a deep breath and tried to regain his composure, only to fail miserably when he saw you looking at his direction with pure ambition and determined eyes as you grinned happily

All that i could say is, he's red as a beet

He wont lose this match, not when you're watching him.

He puts extra effort when you're watching his match, and made sure not to slip up. It'd be embarrassing if he did.

Opal notices this and only smiled seeing her successor acting out of his place whenever you're around

Opal knows something that you dont, and that's Bede's feelings for you

After his match ended, his Hatterene walked towards your direction, pulling you into a tight hug

You were surprised, but apparently Hatterene has grown to like you ever since she first met you

And when you look at Bede's direction, he was looking away with his arms crossed infront of his chest, visibly drowning in embarassment

,,,you wondered, is Bede projecting on his Hatterene or what,

Yes, yes he is

So you asked him if he also wants a hug, which of course he answered with "Why would i want a hug from someone like you? That'd be an insult to me"

You let go of Hatterene and hugged him anyways

He flinched when you hugged him, not knowing where to put his hands and just let them stay still in a defensive pose

Hatterene watched with a smile from behind you, seeing her master in such a flustered state was truly something new for the Pokemon

Not long after, Bede finally let his arms wrap around your waist, giving in to his subconscious and just hug you

he wanted to hug you anyways so thats a win win situation

You were actually surprised when he hugged you back

He smells nice!! Like perfume?? Cologne?? Floral scent

His Hatterene decided to join in and wrapped her arm around you both, making you all hug even more tightly

Bede cant handle this well.

No, not at all.

His face was really red and its hot— in all honesty, its cute, but he was burning

"Why do you have to embarrass me like this?"

You buried your face in his neck, which startled him as he couldn't think at all

"Y-you!!"

He feels nice and soft, so you're not planning to let go any sooner, likewise with Hatterene.

Bede's mind: ASDFGHJKL????—GODDAMMI—

OKAY NOW COMFORT TIME

His true nature would come out when you're not feeling yourself or when people would makw you feel like shit

"Hey.."

His face shows concern, but it still his usual look of coldness— however, his actions are warm despite his cold features

He'd let you wear his coat as he battles anyone who dared to hurt you

"Are you alright now..?"

He cupped your face and made you look at his face, swiping off the tears that stained your face with his thumbs delicately

He hated seeing you cry, and he'll try better next time to make sure you didn't cry

———☆️

Leon🌟

He's kind at all but sometimes he's just... "???????"

Training!! Dates!!

More like battle tower dates because he really admires your strength as a champion

Occasionally, he'd visit your house and check up on you, wondering if you're free for the day for "quality time"

At first, he was surprised to see one of the legendaries answering the door for you

And he couldn't resist to ruffle it's hair

your legendary on the other hand was kind of irritated by it

So it let out a displeased howl

Which leads you to come down stairs and see who is it

"L—leon?"

He looked up and greet you with a goofy grin as your legendary returned to your side, walking with you

He treats you like a gentleman, and sometimes is very strict with your training regimen

In which you usually whine about because you're the current champion and you have no business listening to him

But he'd swoon you with lovely words

And you would easily fall for it

you hate this

You hate him

No you dont

You love him, you could never hate a goofball like him anyways

Hey did i ever mention Leon's sense of direction is shitty

You went on a date in Wyndon a couple of times and he still gets lost everytime

"Ah!! Hey—....."

"Im lost again aren't i?"

He tried to find his way back to you but got surrounded by paparazzis

Even if he's not the current champion

You saved his butt since he couldn't say no to the people and his fans

He said thank you and hugged you, lifting you up to the air before pulling you close to him

This only made you laugh softly as you hugged him back, letting your fingers comb his thick lavender like hair

His body is warm and comforting, you really like his cuddles and hugs

He came into your house one time when you didn't answer his calls or messages, only to find you drown in your anxiety and self loathing

He pulled you in his arms and let you cry on his shoulder until you're all done and alright again

He'd draw circles over your back and tell you reassuring words— tell you that you're more than enough and he's grateful to have you here, alive and well

Your Zacian/Zamazenta got out of it's pokeball and helped you in calming you down too by giving you small licks on your knee

It'd whine whenever you're sad and climb onto your bed, nudging your arm afterwards as if it's asking what's wrong

You're lucky to have them both whenever you need them the most, and they're lucky to have you

———☆️

Raihan 🐲

It's finally the Character y'all been waitin for, dragon boi coming through

Okay serious talk here— Raihan is TALL

His hoodies makes you look smaller than you already are

You tried copying his "Gaooo~" pose a couple of times while wearing his hoodie

Its cutest thing he has ever seen his entire life

It makes him melt everytime

Okay aside from that, he's gentle and laid back, even if his personality is quite the opposite when he's on battle

He's cLINGY ASF

Don't forget his fangs, never forget his fangs

You're actually curious about his fangs since the first day you saw him

And he lets you touch it whenever you like

Youre still curious, because what the hell, its so cool

The first day you saw him after defeating him in a match and gain your gym badge, he immediately took an interest in you and your strength

"Hey Challenger!"

He called you before you tried to take your leave, gaining your attention

He then asked you if you want to practice with him next time, and have a rematch when you've become the champion

You agreed and exchanged numbers

What can i say, he spams you like?????? A lot

And casually sends you pictures of him and his duraludon

You love his dragons, especially flygon

Flygon loves you too, and one time it wanted to come with you

Raihan lets you keep his Flygon and you send him pictures of you with it

He sends emotes of duraludon crying, wanting to join you and your fun trip with Flygon to grab the Champion title

After you took the Champion title, Raihan greeted you with a big hug

And you hug him back with no hesitation

"Congratulations, may i have a selfie with the new Champion?"

He asked in a teasing manner, letting you down on your feet as you nodded

You took a selfie selfwith him numerous times before he posted it to his social media

He captioned 'First person to get a selfie with the new Champion'

He took pride in that, and some of his fans were jealous that you managed to get a selfie with him

From that day onwards, he'd have casual selfies with you, sometimes hilarious one and sometimes its just for showing off

You didn't mind it really, he's a celebrity anyways, so you understand why he does that

"Hey.. do stars have feelings"

It was three am what the fuck Raihan

You squinted at your screen seeing his message

"Why in the Galar would you be awake, dear Dragon tamer?"

You answered him

And immediately he answered "oh? The Champion is awake?"

You guys didn't sleep afterwards and was sending streaks of blurry selfies

It was fun and helped you cheer up

You got some of his blurry pics that he captioned "party rock in the house" when clearly its just him and his pokemons

What a goofball pt.2

You love him anyways shut up

Haha smol reader pt.2

[xtodorcki]

this just a suggestion heheh so you don't have to feel that you need to do it 🥰🥰 scenario is jean and reader on and off relationship, the reader is insecure because jean's ex before the reader is so pretty and the reader doesn't feel like they don't deserve jean so for the last time they broke it off and jean being angry and not understanding the reader's point of view decided to make the reader jealous by having a fake relationship with the said ex, now the reader is very devastated, crying most of the time, not leaving the bed etc. connie and sasha were the ones comforting reader and one day both of them decided its enough and confronted jean, now jean felt guilty and all that jazz so reader and jean decided to talk and then boom back together and for good this time. I really cant handle angst on its own so i have to make it angst to fluff 😁😁

“Back & Forth,” Jean x Reader

Summary: having an on and off relationship with Jean because of your insecurities, when you decide to break it off a final time- he practically uses your insecurities to make you jealous.

Warnings: none, angst to fluff

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The relationship between you and Jean was never easy or smooth. There were a lot of rocky days and stable days, kinda like a roller coaster. Some days were really good and memorable to you and some days were just plain awful.

Every time you two would bicker, it would always lead to a much bigger argument and eventually a break up for a few days then poof, you’re back in his bed or he’s back in yours.

It was a repeated cycle for over a year and working beside him in the scouts didn’t make things easier on the both of you- in fact it added a lot more stress to the relationship that was barely hanging on by a thread.

You’ll admit that your insecurities and fears did play a massive role in the arguments. You were terrified of losing him, of him losing interest in you and going off to find someone better.

You hated yourself for thinking such thoughts but knowing who his ex was and how his ex looks- you were fully convinced that he had downgraded with you and is going to figure that out eventually and leave you.

Jean was pretty oblivious to your feelings and how insecure you were, mainly because you were too afraid to tell him and also because he was an idiot- he can’t figure things out even if it was right in front of his face.

So the arguments continued, the break ups and make ups continued for months until one of the days you both were more frustrated than usual. You can sense the anger dripping off him and radiating towards you that it kinda scared you a bit.

The argument was a small stupid one that led to him raising his voice at you and making you feel small. He was never the type to hurt your feelings or make you feel like shit during an argument, he usually just made smart ass remarks and then leave you be for a few days then come back.

But this time he was more angry with you to the point where he had startled you from shouting. You couldn’t tell where all the sudden anger came from and you truly felt as if it was all your fault for making him raise his voice.

You tried to hold back your tears and your emotions, you hated to be vulnerable in front of him and since he was pissed off and stomping around the room, you had just decided to grab some of your things you had in his bedroom.

“Where are you going?” He asked even though he knew, it was always the same toxic behavior between the both of you.

“I’m done this time, Jean. I’m not coming back.” You simply said, quickly walking out of his room before he could say anything.

The stabbing pain in his heart had instantly stunned him, making him stare at the bedroom door you walked out of and everything came rushing to his head. The realization had hit him pretty hard and all it did was feed into his anger, making it worse than before.

He couldn’t believe you would easily give up on the relationship you two have built for over a year, he felt as if you never really loved him and it only made him more upset and that resulted in him punching a hole into the wall.

A week had passed, you mainly stayed inside the room you had on the scouts base- you barely would leave. You wouldn’t go to training sessions, wouldn’t go on missions, wouldn’t do anything. All you did was lay in bed and cried, the overwhelming pain pinning you down on your bed, preventing you from moving.

But the one day you had decided to come out and grab something to eat before heading back to your room, Jean sat in the mess hall with his arm around someone’s shoulder. At first, you couldn’t make out who it was until they had turned their head- it was his ex.

“Hey, Y/N.” Connie had called out to you but you had stood there emotionless until Jean had turned to meet your gaze.

The way your heart had dropped all the way down to your stomach, your worst nightmare coming to life right in front of you. You were quick to turn around and head back to your room before the tears could slip from your eyes.

Jean had watched you walk away, he was hoping that the little jealousy plan he was doing was working in his favor. He had missed you way too much to the point where his dumb brain had tricked him into thinking that bringing his ex here could make you jealous and come back to him.

But of course men aren’t that entirely smart when it comes to dating.

Jean had no idea that you sat in your room crying and having the heavy amount of your insecurities weighing down on you. He couldn’t see the fact that you were hurting way more than he was and all you wanted was for him to grow up.

He watched Sasha and Connie follow after you, making sure to bring you a plate of food from today’s lunch, wanting to make sure you were okay and fed.

“Can we come in?” Sasha spoke on the other side of the door, making you quickly wipe the tears off your cheeks and unlock the door for them.

But when they both saw you, they could tell you were crying from how red your eyes were and the way your cheeks were flushed but they decided not to bring that up. Instead they walked inside and all three of you sat on your bed.

“Wanna talk about it?” She mumbled towards you, setting the plate down in your lap and you glanced down at it, not knowing what to really say.

“Is it Jean?” Connie chimed in, watching you play around with the food on your plate with a fork.

All three of you were pretty close so it was obvious for the both of them to know that it was Jean and the relationship you two had. They knew you were beating yourself up over it and they knew that the sight of Jean with the ex he swore he didn’t like anymore, was a lot for you to handle.

“I just don’t feel good enough when it comes to him. His ex is everything that I’m not and it’s obvious that I will never be enough or better than they are.” You managed to choke out, making Connie shake his head repeatedly.

“No, you’re better. They’re nothing compared to you, Y/N and if Jean can’t see that then he’s clearly an idiot.” He tried to reassure you but in the back of your mind, you were set on not being enough for him.

“I love him more than anything, it hurts to not have him here.”

They both stared at you and realized just how much you have been suffering up in your room on your own. They can tell just how much Jean meant to you and that only irritated them more to know he sat outside in the mess hall, acting as if you never existed or never mattered to him.

Sasha sighed, reaching over to embrace you in a hug and soon Connie had joined in. It had made you feel somewhat better, just to know you had people who cared about you but it didn’t help the fact that Jean wasn’t here comforting you like he should be.

“We’ll leave you to eat but I’m coming back later for dinner and you’re coming to eat with us, okay?” She told you, making you somewhat nod your head even though you weren’t sure if you’ll be able to even leave your room now that he was out there with his ex.

When they both left their room, they agreed to one another that Jean needed to be put in his place and Connie had even thought about punching him in the face even though he was also his best friend. They were both furious with him and the way he had made you feel and the way he had easily tried to move on with the ex you were insecure about.

Connie had managed to yank him away from his ex, dragging him in the hall where Sasha waited. The both of them giving him a intense look.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Connie spoke first, his eyebrows furrowed together and the skin on his face getting hot.

“What did I do?” Jean scoffed, looking between the both of them confused.

“You know what you did, why would you bring your ex here knowing Y/N is still upset over the breakup?”

“Since when was Y/N upset? They broke up with me.”

“Didn’t it cross your little brain on why they did all of that? Or are you too dumb to realize their feelings?” Connie was being a bit more harsh than usual but he cared about the both of you deeply, he knew he had to do something at least.

“Look, the only reason why everything happened the way they did is because Y/N feels very low and not enough, comparing themselves to your ex, convinced they can’t be enough for you.” Sasha sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

Jean had stood there, in shock almost as everything finally came to his head and everything had finally hit him like a ton of bricks. He hated himself for not seeing it sooner but having Sasha bring it up in a better way than Connie- it made him see all the signs that he didn’t see before.

He didn’t have any ounce of emotion or attraction towards his ex and the dumb decision he made to bring them here to make you jealous and come back to him, it made him feel even more stupid for making the wound in your heart bigger.

He didn’t know what to say to his two friends that stood in front of him, instead he dismissed himself and walked down the hallway towards your bedroom. He was racking his brain, trying to form the right words to say to you.

He didn’t want to screw things up with you, you meant everything to him and the way his heart raced inside of his chest as he stood outside your door. It had taken him a few minutes before bringing his fist up to knock on your door.

In your head, you were convinced that maybe it was Connie or Sasha returning back to your room like they said they were going to do earlier but when you opened up the door and moved your eyes up to meet Jean’s sad gaze, making your heart stop.

“What are you doing here?”

“Uh, can we talk? If not I can go.” He stuttered out, the nerves kicking in and the fear of being fear of being rejected.

At first it had crossed your mind to shut the door in his face because at the top of your head was the repeating image of him out in the mess hall with his ex but deep in your heart you had too much love for Jean and you couldn’t handle ignoring him and telling him to go.

Instead you had opened the door wider, letting him step inside and both sat on the small couch you had in your room. There was an awkward silence at first, after all that thinking on the way here he still didn’t know what to say to you to make things right.

“I’m sorry if I hurt you.” He started to say, his eyes trailing off and moving back to look down at you.

“It wasn’t my intention to make you leave that day and I really hate when we argue and break up all the time.” He sighed under his breath, his hand reaching back to scratch the back of his neck as he tried to form good enough sentences in his head before repeating them out loud.

“I don’t want us to continue to be toxic like that, you mean everything to me and I don’t want to lose you.”

“And what about you being with your ex?” You questioned, his sad eyes meeting yours and he simply shrugged his shoulders.

“I did it to make you jealous. It was a stupid idea because I felt like you were happier without me and I just wanted you to come back.” He admitted everything, the dumb plan to get you back failed miserably and now he was here trying to pick up your broken pieces again.

“You’re an idiot if you thought that was going to work.”

“I know I know, I couldn’t see that you were hurt. I never meant to try to replace you or make it seem like my ex is better because they’re not. You’re the only person I want to be with and the only person I’m in love with. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Y/N and I mean that.” Jean confessed the bottled up feelings he’s been having for a while now.

Sometimes he was just never good with confrontation or admitting how he feels but as he sat there in front of you, the heavy amount of guilt weighing down on him for making you feel upset and insecure about the ex he never liked or wanted in the first place.

“Jean..” You trailed off, you didn’t really know what to say because you were just as bad at confessing feelings and emotions. You didn’t want to admit the fact that you’re self conscious and not confident enough.

“I know that you don’t feel good enough or have any confidence in yourself but trust me when I say this, there is nobody else that makes me feel the way that you do. I wouldn’t trade you for the world.” He kept going, the rush of words slipping off his tongue with ease right when they came to his mind.

He would sit there and talk about you all day and all the little things he loved about you. He never wanted to lose you and he wished that he stopped himself from being so stupid and selfish months ago. He hated to think back on the arguments and how he let those stupid fights separate you and make you feel not enough for him.

“I don’t want to lose you.” He finished off his rambling, his large hands hesitating but eventually reaching over to grab a hold on yours and you let him.

The way your heart had felt heavy at the sight of his face and now all you felt was it flutter with such love for him. You never understood how you ended up having Jean, you never seen yourself one to be this deserving of good things but he made you feel the opposite, he made you feel worthy of good things.

“I’m sorry for leaving.” You finally apologized after being zoned out in your endless thoughts and he simply shook his head.

“No, I’m sorry for not listening to your insecurities and feelings sooner.” He sighed, his hand reaching up to caress your cheek while still feeling the intense amount of guilt hang on him.

All he ever wanted was for you to feel loved and wanted and he hoped he made you feel that way but he also couldn’t help the burden of not listening to your feelings even if you never mentioned them out loud, it was pretty easy to see when you were feeling low or upset and he never acknowledged it as much as he should have and for that, it really hurt him.

His thumb had stroked soft circles on your cheek, staring down at you with sad eyes but seeing the small smile on your face had made him a bit more happier. He squeezed your hand before leaning over to plant a few quick kisses to your lips before fully pressing them against yours. The kiss was slow and soft yet passionate and full of sparks, something you missed a little too much.

When he pulled back to look down at you fully, his fingers had moved back to tangle in your hair before you moved yourself to wrap your arms around him and embrace him in a tight hug. You had missed him everyday while you sat inside of this room alone and he had felt the same when he laid in his empty bed late at night.

You meant everything to him and now he would do anything to keep you happy and in place, no more small breakups and no more sadness- he just wanted you to feel good enough again.

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This took way longer than it needed to.

I’m sorry for the lag and the constant “sorry and ty for your patience” status. I was doing good until just recently when I experienced a loss in the family. even if it was just a family pet, she meant everything to me and has been around for more than a decade. Its been really fucking hard but I’m managing.

Ty always for the love! Send in some more requests for Armin, Jean or Eren. I love writing about them🥰

• Main Masterlist •

• AOT Masterlist •

READ BIO before requesting!

[i8jisoo]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ skz with pregnant!reader

felix x reader | part six of dad!skz

↬ genre; fluff

↬ warnings; pregnancy, slight relation to sex, birth

↬ notes; this took so long lmfao i just had it sitting but i’m finishing up seungmin rnnn 🤓 i’ve been doing requests whew i just have EVERYTHING coming at once

u guys r really surprised 

u two had been in a relationship for four years now so this was inevitable as u two were putting off the pressure of marriage for awhile now

“woah, i’m gonna be a dad!! does this mean u have to call me daddy now?”

0_0

u r s e n s i t i v e

felix first notices this when he gives u a kiss in the morning n ur crying like two seconds after

:((

“why are you crying??!”

“you just leave so early and i miss you!!”

felix skips the day, not rly caring he just wants to cuddle u 🥺

speaking of cuddling u two r so cuddly together now

u guys just cant get enough of each other

ur at practice less often just bc of media and he thinks the house is safer for u

so the boys come over a ton more to the dorm just bc they wanna see u and spend time with u

he is so cute, whenever he sees you he’ll instantly be on his knees to kiss your baby bump and leave u with a light kiss on ur lips

u guys go to ur scan at the beginning of the second trimester

its hush hush and ofc felix has u with the best doctor hes heard of 

his hands are clammy asf, hes smiling and so dazed while he stares at the ultrasound

“look at that!! baby a and baby b!!”

felix is like, 

“oh im gonna pass out”

now he gets these corny ass JOKES like

“wow lix has really GOOD swimmers!!!”

“felix knows his way around the bedroom!!!!!!!!”

poor baby jeongin :( they are POLLUTING HIS MIND

he doesnt but this boy is scared shitless now, two babies?? thats a lot to handle

he likes to shop, a lot. 

for some reason everything is dog themed, puppies on everything and he’ll come home with bags of baby stuff everyday

lix is just so in love with your body

sweaters, t-shirts, hoodies, anything he owns, he 100% wants you to wear it

he might be a little excited at the thought of u in his clothes, it was usual but now u pregnant, he was a little MORE excited

abnormally this guy worships your body 100% 

he loves how easily you can just unravel, to the point of tears and have u begging for him to stop

ok lemme not ill start writing shit type smut anyways chile yes lix loves u A LOT in and out of the bedroom

mmm he’ll always be brainstorming names

aeygo for the babies 🥺

tons of kisses he has plenty to go around

he acquires a new skill called cooking 😣

ur his new favorite taste tester

he’ll read books for them both

tons of research on expecting twins and what to do

“hey, okay.. so i bought a pregnancy pillow, and like, i wanna use it?”

felix has this smirk, holding the huge pillow that is supposed to be a maternity one, but he much prefers himself using it as a regular pillow

he actually goes public with this, knowing that the fans adored u after being his girlfriend for so long nd u soon became a favorite for them

some shit like ‘stays meet your new members’ 😣

this guy has a knack for painting, his newest canvas is your large baby bump, doodling little flowers n hearts or animals on it, sometimes painting characters on it or whatever it may be

u two have this rly cute vlive together which consists of him painting ur baby bump, plenty of fun while he asked stays to tell him what to draw on ur bump :v

“ooh!! a ladybug!!”

he posts the finished project in nice high quality on their official instagram, showing off the many things he had painted

the dreaded bed rest comes into play

u are now nearing seven months, which meant that u should be experiencing labor or maybe labor pains soon

he takes his paternal leave, now indulging in ice-cream and gummy bears with u, rather than working out and drinking nasty smoothies

guess who has that sympathy weight 

(jk he just uses it as an excuse so he can just give up on his diet)

sleep all day

sleep all night

u two are honestly so tired for WHATEVER reason

lix is there to be a cuddle bug, pulling ur back close to his body, ur legs entwined and his hand on top of ur own that was on ur bump

its rly cute just try and picture it for a moment

u guys r trying everything to hurry and get to the end of this seemingly forever pregnancy

he’ll def buy two yoga balls instead of just one for u and he’ll bounce on them with u

who cares ab trying to hurry up y’all are having so much fun regardless of the fact u have to pee every ten minutes

u both forget the thought of it and just go with the flow

making a deal to go with the names for whomever u claimed aka baby a or baby b

i see ur guys timing to be during the summer so its miserable in ur house

its hot n stuffy

u two r just lounging n u both have popsicles, then ur just like

“oh! oh.”

it was a steady gush of fluid between ur legs and that was when the nervousness set in

u two just look at each-other in shock

“oh! we’re having a baby- um.. wow!”

he is abnormally good at keeping calm, helping u keep ur breathing steady and getting everything together 

felix is a pro.

u guys r kinda chilling in the parking lot just quiet and sort of nervous that the next time ur walking out of there you both will have not one, but two babies

“i don’t know if i’m ready yet.”

felix groans, grabbing ur hand

“ur right, ur more than ready. look at us!! parents of two in at least the next twenty-four hours!!” 

his hands r around u in a second to help u up and there to help u walk in

u two honestly decide to play games on ur phone to kill time

felix crawls into ur bed, seeing as how u looked extremely lonely, letting his arms and legs wrap around u n he’s just playing with ur hair

its honestly adorable

u two are really tired for whatever reason, falling asleep like this before u would be consumed in the late nights of being parents

these nurses wake u both up and are just like

“let’s see if we’re ready to meet ur babies!!”

felix is kinda scared but nonetheless he’ll grab ur hand and hold onto it with a smile

10cm woo!

if he wasn’t hyping u up before he is hyping u up right now

ur somewhat laughing and crying while in pain

yall r so weird

felix is there to wipe ur face with the wet cloth, or to give u a sip of water, rly whatever u need he is on it

poor baby just wants to be of help

“here’s baby a! it’s a girl!”

u two have at least a moment with her, taking in her small appearance, felix holding her out for u to see

abruptly cut off by baby b needing to make an appearance

“i don’t wanna do this again.”

“it’s alright, shh. we’re going to have two babies, two perfect ones. we have one little girl, let’s get ready for the next one, yeah? our two babies, you’re doing so good.”

they take away ur little girl while felix does what he already did beforehand

“here’s your second one!! we have a pair of sisters!”

u and felix are so overjoyed at this news, literally sobbing, u two r a mess

both r brought over to u, felix taking in the fact he’s a father of two girls, such small girls

ur both smiley while u kiss them n cuddle them, getting the nurse to take a picture of u two

ur obviously tired, felix emotionally worn out but having the brightest smiles on ur faces while u hold onto ur pair of newborn girls

he’s so proud, he’s the definition of a proud father

lix is holding onto one and he comes over to you, the other one cooing

“that’s it, my three girls.”

©️ maysdiors 2020 :: all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

[kaz11283]

Chapter 5

Characters: Clint, you, Loki

Warnings: this is a SLOW burn, slight angst, fluff at the end, Loki starting shit.

Summary: life has never really bwen this complicated. Or well the life that you think you know has never really been this complicated. Living with the avengers, learning new things, yeah its gonna be a long road but what else do you have to look forward to other than the random runins with the god of mischief.

Loki Masterlist

~~~~~

It had been about a week since you had arrived at the tower and just as long as your incounter with Loki, you hadnt had much time to think about it though since you were normally nose deep in class work or training with Nat and Clint since Tony had sent you the message "If your gonna be an avenger you have to train like one, training starts at 6." You had left him on read after that, you had never been a morning person and you sure as hell wasnt about to start now.

"Alright y/n, lets try you on the bow today." Clint smiled walking into the arena where most of your training took place.

"After I finish this." You said pointing to your coffee. "I swear, you would think that after saving lives you would want to sleep in." You grumbled.

"Bad guys dont sleep, we dont get to sleep." Clint said wiping down a few of his practice arrows.

"You didnt get back till like 3 this morning. Im really starting to wonder if you sleep at all." You tossed your cup away and got up starting to do your stretches.

"Get over here so I can show you how to hold this thing." He saod holding out the bow.

"I know how to use a bow, I was in archery in high school. Top of my team." You grabbed the bow feeling the cool metal in your hand. His bow was diffrent than what you was use to, as light as air almost were yours had been heavy.

"This bow is probably a little different than what your use to. The metal is vibranium, the strings are made of some type of industrial woven string that Tony invinted in his lab. Might be a littlw hard for you to pull back." He smiled looking at the bow like a child.

"It is very beautiful." You examined it looking down the sights has you pulled the string back easily. "Absolutly magnificent peice of weaponry." You looked over at him and seen that he was staring at you wide eyed. "What?"

"No one else has ever been able to draw the string back like that." You let the string gently go back into place amd handed it back to him.

"I told you, I was in archery while I was in high school."

"Theres no way that someone no matter how skilled they are can pull that back."

"Well if your forgetting, apperantly Im not from here either."

"Yup almost forgot, Asguardian. Anyways. You know how to use one of these so lets set up a few targets and get to work. Tony wants to try you out on a few different things, eval you, and see what suits you best. Im already leaning toward you being good at the bow."

After he talked you through some of the basics that you had informed him you knew and he insisted on stating that it was 'mandatory' you were finally able to pick up one of the training bows.

"These bows suck. Stark has all the money in the world and he buys walmart brand bows? If you pull this one back to many times the string will break. Why cant I just use yours?" You roll your eyes looking back at Clint.

"My bow, my baby. If you want ine bad enough you can start off at the bottom and work your way up. You have a card why dont you buy one?" He countered, just then the foor opened drawing your attention.

"Sorry, didnt realize that the area was occupied today, I just wanted to get a few throws in woth the new daggers Stark and Banner decided to enhance for me. Wanted to make sure that they wouldnt bloe up in my face." Loki said walking over to the bay next to you and Clint. You hadnt had a moment alone with the trickster since in the hall weeks ago and now he was here acting as of nothingbhad happened. You looked down at the daggers that he had laid out.

"Wow, those are beautiful." You noticed that not only had he laid down two simple green handeled knives but he had also laid down a set of electric blue ones and a set of gold handle ones engraved with ancient symbols and roses with the stems winding down the hilt. "May I?" You asked leaning down to get a closer look.

"Of course y/n, you are the one that gave me those." He answered casually. Your breathing hitched and you turned to look at him.

"Thats not funny Loki."

"I dont know what your talking about. I was simpl-" he started before you cut him off.

"You know damn good and well what I am talking about. What did you expect? Me to pick it up and everything come barreling back to me? Here I'll do you one even better." You stormed up to the daggers and grabbed one of the gold ones up throwing it at the target on the far side of the room. You had expected it to fall short and clink to the floor but you never hears it fall. When you looked at the target you noticed you had hit the middle.

Clints jaw had dropped as he was looking around the wall to see what you had been yelling about. Loki looked at you with a smug expression. "I assume they must have had knife throwing classes at the school you attended as well."

"Shut up. Clint are we done, I have some studying for class that I really need to do." You looked at clint as he knodded still awestruck. "Thanks, I'll talk with Tony about getting a better bow for me to practice with." You took off toward your room.

Later after you had taken a hot shower and changed into some leggings and a baggy shirt you decided to go to the one place in the tower that you had decided to claim as your own little study corner. It was located on of of the high up floors that happened to be more of an observation deck, you could watch the team leave on missions, see the ocean, and watch some of the most beautiful sun sets that you had seen. You had notice while checking the place out that there was a fairly large window seat that you could spead your work out on as you looked out over the city, this small part of the tower was your little hid away, you hadnt seen any other member of the team up here so you figured when you needed the alone time you could come here. It had seemed to work for the most part until today.

You notice the shadow of the figure standing over you before looking up into the eyes of Lokis confused ones, you had noticed his lips moving before rolling your eyes and taking out your noise canceling ear pods.

"What do you want Loki?" You sighed placing them back into the chsrging dock.

"Well if you hadnt had those things in you would have heard me tell you that I was sorry for earlier." He sassed crossing his arms.

"How did you find me? No one really bothers coming up here." You pulled your legs under your chin and covering you feet with the throw that you had brought up with you this time.

"The AI system has no bounderies when it comes to privacy, it can tell you were anyone is in this god forsaken place." He responded. "May I sit?"

"And if I say no?"

"I'll sit anyways." He shrugged.

"Then what is the point in asking?" You leaned forward moving your papers and books out of the way. He reached down and grabbed a few of the papers to help you.

"Your doing a paper on Shakespeare?" He asked as he sat down reading over the page.

"Umm, yeah. Part of my agreement to come here is so that I can finish up my collage classes. Drama and Art Major." He hamded the paper back to you so that you could stick it in your binder. He gave you a look that you were use to getting from him. "Don't say it Loki." You out your hand up to stop him before he could even open his mouth.

"I wasn't going to say anything." He held his hands up.

"Hum, interesting. The god of lies actually sucks at lying. I should remember that." You smiled. This was the first time you had actually felt half way confortable around him.

"I could never lie to you." He smiled back. "You have always had a knack for seeing right through me."

"I wish you wouldnt do that." You sighed leaning your heas agints the window behind you.

"Do what exactly?" He askes mirroring your position.

"Where you mention something about my past. Its annoying and it breaks my heart."

"Well Dove, how do you think I feel? The worst part about it for me is that while you remember nothing I am stuck remembering everything. Your past, my past, our past together. It truly is the worst pain that I have ever felt. To have something that you have wanted for so long in front of you and they dont even want you back." He sighed looking out the window.

"Loki," you crossed your legs and placed your elbows on your knees. "I have never said that I didnt want you. I just dont know what is what."

"So you do want me?" He laughted.

"That is not what I meant and you know it." You leanded back again. "Tell me about us. About how you and Thor know me." He eyes lite up.

Chapter 6

Tag list:

@high-functioning-lokipath

@serpentargo

@drbaureid

@poetic-fiasco

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

@rosaline-black

@jesuswasnotawhiteman

@natandersonnla

@delightfulheartdream

[seita]

— bnha abc's: hitoshi shinsou [angst edition].

well, finally the angst! i have no idea what character i’ll do next but we shall see...

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·    

ɴsғᴡ ᴇᴅɪᴛɪᴏɴ | ғʟᴜғғ ᴇᴅɪᴛɪᴏɴ

⤑ 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧! | 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬  

A- Accident, Would they blame themselves if you died in an accident?

∴ unless he was the reason you were involved then no. ∴ he wouldn’t search for correlation to himself in the event of an accident. ∴ he’s not looking to throw a pity party for himself. ∴ you were the one who was dead, after all.

B- Break up, How would they deal with one?

∴ it depends on the relationship. ∴ if it was long term, a few years together then he’s pretty broken up about it ∴ and will probably take a while to get himself back on the market ∴ but a relationship that’s only been a handful of months ∴ he figures it’s best to just move on from it.

C-Crying, Are they much of a crier?

∴ no not at all, really. ∴ sure, he feels sad but tears never fall from his eyes. ∴ however, if there is something traumatic that happens. ∴ he may shed a few tears into his pillow as he goes to sleep.

D-Death, How do they deal with any death?

∴ pretty well, actually ∴ he finds a way to cope so he can move on as quickly as possible ∴ that’s not to say he doesn’t mourn or just erase their memory ∴ he just moves to work past being broken up about it ∴ he doesn’t want to go through his days with the heavy weight of a death on his mind ∴ the type of guy to visit graves and leave flowers for his loved ones once a month.

E-Emotion, What’s the emotion they tend to push away the most?

∴ anger. ∴ he doesn’t like to be angry and he doesn’t like to show anyone his anger ∴ that’s not always possible so he’ll remove himself from situations that make him angry ∴ he’ll go somewhere private where he can let his anger out without prying eyes. ∴ he feels like shit after losing his temper so he’ll apologize or you’ll have to console him and let him know it’s okay to be angry ∴ he’s human and bottling it up isn’t healthy ∴ he agrees but...tbh nothing changes.

F-Frustrated, How much would it take to push them off the edge?

∴ it truly depends. ∴ day-to-day, he doesn’t really get ticked off or upset easily ∴ he’s pretty patient tbh ∴ but in an event where he worked hard for something ∴ or he really, really had a drive to do something (like get into the hero course) ∴ and he fails to do it ∴ he is pretty easily set off. ∴ but he pushes past and works 10x harder than before until he accomplishes his goal. ∴ he’s a driven man.

G-Great Pain, What is the most painful thing they have witnessed?

∴ when he became a pro, the first time he failed to defeat a villain ∴ and many civilians perished as a result ∴ it’s something that absolutely haunts him. ∴ he had nightmares for weeks afterwards ∴ he fully went to a therapist ∴ like he was fucked up over it ∴ to this day, if he’s reminded of it he will literally get so anxious and depressed, even though he’s seen lots of casualties since then ∴ it was just that first failure that fucks him up.

H-Humiliation, How could they be humiliated?

∴ being cheated on. ∴ the idea that he wasn’t good enough, to the point his lover had to find someone else. ∴ that really damages his sense of self worth and self esteem which is already a bit low to begin with. ∴ he’d feel like there was something wrong with him and now everyone knew he was defective.

I-Injured, How do they handle themselves when injured?

∴ very calm and collected. ∴ he figures there’s no real reason to lose his head over it. ∴ panicking will only make the situation worse. ∴ if it’s a bad injury, he’ll seek help as fast as he can. ∴ if its a superficial wound he’ll probably handle it himself.

J-Jittery, Which part of their past makes them flinch or even worked up?

∴ his childhood. ∴ he was the target for teasing and bullying due to his quirk. ∴ so if anything reminds him of those times, he gets really down ∴ he doesn’t like spiral into depression or anything ∴ but he’ll feel anxious and self conscious until the moment passes

K-Kill, Would they kill for revenge?

∴ no, never. ∴ he’s worked so hard to become a pro hero that he wouldn’t want to jeopardize it by some sort of misconduct as that. ∴ also, he has been accused of having potential to become a villain ∴ and he doesn’t want to give anyone ammunition for that.

L- Loss, What was their greatest loss?

∴ he hasn’t actually experienced much loss in terms of losing anyone to death. ∴ when he was a child, he had a friend before his quirk manifested ∴ and accidentally used it on them, unsure of how to control it ∴ and it scared the other boy so bad he stopped being friends with him ∴ that hurt shinsou pretty badly. ∴ he also probably lost a pet dog, which was traumatic because of how  much he depended on the furry animal for comfort

M- Mistakes, How much do they want to fix the mistakes of their past?

∴ shinsou isn’t the type of person who will do things that have the potential for regret ∴ he thinks his decisions over thoroughly and runs through all options before choosing the most logical one ∴ of course, he fucks up sometimes but ∴ he stands by his decisions, confident that he did the best possible thing he could have. ∴ being a pro hero doesn’t allow for him to regret things -- if he stops to mourn every civilian loss, for example, he would only be run into the ground. ∴ that doesn’t help anyone.

N-Need, How would they react if you needed emergency surgery?

∴ calm and collected ∴ especially if you’re scared ∴ then he’s going to make sure he’s a pillar for you to lean on ∴ that’s not to say on the inside he isn’t losing his mind ∴ bc he def is ∴ he just finds it counterproductive to stress you out while you’re already scared of the surgery ∴ it would get neither of you anywhere good ∴ once you’re in surgery, he’d be anxious as he waited. ∴ he’s check the time and refuse to leave the hospital until the doctor announces you’re safe.

O-Outrage, What makes them angry?

∴ betrayal. ∴ shinsou, when he trusts, he trusts hard. ∴ he puts his faith into them and expects them to stand by his side ∴ so if, for example, you used an insecurity of his against him in an argument. ∴ or cheated on him. ∴ or spilled a secret he told you in confidence ∴ he will be pissed. depending on how bad it was, he’s liable to break up with you. ∴ naturally, once his trust is broken, however, it’s near impossible to fix ∴ so good luck getting your relationship back to how it used to be lol

P-Pressure, What stresses them out to the breaking point?

∴ training ∴ he works hard to better himself to become the best hero possible ∴ but it stresses him out that he’s not improving fast enough, he’s not doing enough, he’s falling behind others ∴ he’s really hard on himself and his drive only makes the thought of failure terrifying to him. ∴ he doesn’t want to fuck up and lose his chance at his dream.

Q- Qualify, What part of themselves do they see as dangerous?

∴ his quirk, naturally. ∴ it’s a pretty dangerous quirk but ∴ truthfully, everyone’s quirk is dangerous in some way. ∴ it’s just that he’s always been trated as if his quirk was the worst possible outcome he could have been born with. ∴ so he feels like his quirk is the Most Dangerous.

R-Rock, What weighs them down?

∴ the idea that his quirk, very well could be a villains quirk. ∴ he worries that he might abuse it by accident and fuck everything up ∴ his quirk is different from combat quirks or rescue quirks ∴ he can control people. he can lock them into their own minds and force their bodies to do anything he wants without having to lift a finger. and there’s nothing they can do it about it. ∴ that scares him. ∴ it’s such a powerful quirk ∴ and it’d be so easy to abuse it ∴ he worries about his own morality at times, due to all the times he’s been called a villain ∴ it makes him doubt himself even though he knows himself better than that.

S-Sorrow, Would they feel empty after your death?

∴ very much so. ∴ shinsou is the type who gives himself completely to relationships ∴ whether it’s platonic or romantic, he puts 100% in. ∴ so to lose someone he had cared for so completely ∴ leaves him with a devastating emptiness ∴ he’s not going to know how to fill the gap your presence left behind for a long time.

T-Time, What if they had a limited time to live?

∴ he wouldn’t panic ∴ he’d spend the time doing everything he needed to do ∴ like see his mother, hang out with his friends, eat his favorite food, spend a night with you ∴ he’d be determined to make sure he wouldn’t regret wasting the time he had left ∴ so he does everything he feels is necessary for having the happiest time that he has left.

U-Urge, How badly do they get the urge to see you after separating?

∴ on a day to day basis, not much ∴ he’s very good at occupying his mind and thinking logically about whether it makes sense to see you or not. ∴ most of the time it’s not. ∴ he’s not the type to go crawling back to his ex unless it’s something he needs to fix with you. ∴ but at night, when he cant sleep ∴ his mind will automatically wander to you ∴ thinking about how it felt when just a few days, weeks, months ago you were curled up beside him in bed.

V-Vent, How do they get rid of feelings they find unnecessary?

∴ he’s actually really damn good at communication ∴ he is so good at just talking things through ∴ it helps him sort his thoughts and it keeps him calm, rather than getting worked up and upset ∴ he prefers to have healthy ways to release his negative emotions

W-Wild card, A random angst headcannon.

∴ when the bullying over his quirk got worse the older he got ∴ as people started to look at him like he was going to harm them ∴ he got frustrated, angry even ∴ he went off on his mom -- blaming her for giving him such a shitty, terrible quirk ∴ he said some extremely hurtful things in his anger ∴ and the picture of his mom’s hurt face over his words drives him insane ∴ to this day, he still feels like he’s trying to make it up to her. ∴ truthfully, it’s been forgiven and forgotten for a long time but ∴ he doesn’t believe he deserves that just yet.

X- X-ray, What makes them transparent? How obvious can they get around something they hate?

∴ you really will not know when this guy hates you ∴ he seems to have mostly just, cold indifference to majority of people ∴ so him hating you; being ignored or treated coldly ∴ will literally not even make you feel hated ∴ it just seems like his default ∴ he’s pretty open about his opinions though ∴ so if you talk about something and ask what he thinks of it ∴ if he hates it, like a movie, he’ll just come right out and say it tbh ∴ so he’s like 50/50 transparent.

Y-Yearning, Do old memories make them yearn for your touch?

∴ yes. ∴ shinsou is the type of guy to look through his phone at old texts and pictures ∴ when he lies in bed at night, he thinks of his fondest memories ∴ he won’t actively seek you out if it’s not logical -- like if you’re an ex. ∴ but if you’re available for him, he’ll seek you out with a deep craving for you. ∴ he wants to make more memories while he can.

Z-Zest, Add your own letters!

[Parents Headcanon] ∴ when he was a baby, his father left him and his mom ∴ that left his mom to take care of a baby all on her own ∴ she was a young mom too, had him pretty early in life; about 18 or so. ∴ so she struggled really badly ∴ he regrets all the trouble he gave her when he was naive to the struggles of parenthood ∴ once he got older and realized how much his mom did for him ∴ he began to work hard around the house so she could relax when she got home from work, cooked dinner, and never asked for anything he didn’t absolutely need ∴ he absolutely adores his mom ∴ and the idea of ever being without her terrifies him.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·    

© all content belongs to seita 2020. do not modify or repost.

[drabbleoclock]

A Little Snow Never Hurt (Bakugou Imagine)

Katsuki is irritated by his lack of sleep and storms out into the winter morning only to be found by an old friend of his.

No TWs in this one, just a cute little drabble.

"Dude you look exhausted, are you ok?" Kirishima asked as he met with his neighbor in their shared hallway.

"I'm obviously fine dumbass! Just didn't get a lot of sleep last night, that asshole next to me was training all night and wouldn't shut the hell up!" Bakugou fumed, small explosions erupting from his hands.

"That sucks man, we don't have classes today, maybe you should sleep in, I'm sure nobody would mind too much." His friend suggested, trying to clam the blonde boy down.

"No way! I'm not gonna show everyone here I cant handle a little sleep deprivation. I'm not that weak got it!" He said staring down the redhead with a glare that would freeze the blood of anyone else.

"Whatever man, suit yourself." Kirishima responded pressing the button for the elevator. "I just think its more manly to take care of yourself than to worry about what everyone else thinks."

The blonde growled at the comment, shoving his hands in his pockets. They silently rode the elevator to the first floor, Kirishima whistling a tune and Bakugou trying to ignore it but only getting overly irritated by his friend.

He didn't want to get mad at him, it just happened. The whistling making him more mad than it usually would. By the time they reached the ground floor Bakugou's face was flushed with anger and his under eye bags were more pronounced than they were upstairs.

As soon as the doors opened Katsuki left the redhead behind, opting to go for a walk in the cold winter air, one to cool him down. His quirk starting to overheat his body in his anger, but also hoping the frigid air would help wake him up. He barely even noticed the redhead trailing behind him with a coat, trying to convince him he would catch a cold without it.

An exclamation of "Kacchan!" was all the warning the blonde got before the excited blue haired girl came into his vision, while also knocking into him at full force, thankfully only enough to make him take a step back. He recognized the voice immediately, nullifying any instinct to attack after the random assault.

"Tsk, what the hell are you doing here dumbass?" he asked, not letting go of the girl he had known in his childhood. The one who could always make him calm down a little, the one he had just been thinking about.

"The teachers asked me to move in too, along with your parents and auntie Inko." The blue haired girl chirped back, burying her face in the chest of her best friend, the one who had always saved her from her childish fears. "Are you alright you seem angry." she asked looking up at him and running her thumb under his eye.

"Uhhh Bakugou? Wanna explain this?" Kirishima asked, far from used to seeing his friend be this gentle with anyone, or letting anyone be this gentle with him.

"This is Kikimora we grew up together, she's a huge pain in my ass that can never seem to leave me the hell alone." Bakugou said, betraying his words by gently pushing the girl back and looking around, a slight blush on his cheeks.

"Ahh you know you love me Kacchan~" the girl said grabbing his hand, noticing the lack of warm clothing he had on. "Why are you in just a tank top? Its the middle of winter you idiot, you'll catch a cold." she gently scolded, folding her arms around Katsuki's.

"That's what I said! But Bakugou here never listens to me!" Kirishima exclaimed holding out Katsuki's coat to show the effort he made.

"I'm too strong to catch something as lame as a damn cold shitty hair! I'm fine, I don't need you two to babysit me!" He yelled pulling his arm away from his friend and walking away.

Kikimora just sighed grabbing the coat from Kirishima.

"Thank you for trying to take care of him. I know he's probably never said it, but deep down I know he appreciates the care his friends give him." Kikimora bowed to the redhead who just scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

"It's no problem, I actually don't mind helping him out, though it would be nice if I got a thank you now and then." He chuckled allowing the girl to take the jacket from his hands.

"You should go back inside, you're not exactly dressed for the weather either, I'll go get that stubborn idiot."

Kirishima nodded giving her a wave as she ran off to find where her friend had run off too, not taking to long to hear the distant popping sound of him trying to warm himself up. She followed the popping to a small courtyard a few minutes walk from the dorm building she was supposed to meet everyone at.

The courtyard was beautiful, a small dusting of snow covered the dead bushes and trees creating a winter wonderland. The water frozen in an intricate design coming from the fountain in the middle of it, and huddled on one of the benches was Katsuki, cursing to himself as he shivered.

Kikimora walked up to him, draping the jacket over the obviously angry boy.

"What's up Kats?" she asked, wiping the snow from the bench next to him and sitting down, shivering from the cold seeping into her.

"Nothing's up. I'm fine. Go inside." He said, slipping his arms through the coat, leaving the buttons undone.

"Not without you. You're gonna get sick if you stay out here too much longer." Kiki could see the blonde start to open his mouth but started talking before he could get a word out. "Don't give me that shit about you being to strong to get sick. That's not how sickness works and you know it. Now tell me what's wrong or I'm going to tell your mom how rude you're being." she threatened buttoning up his jacket and slipping the scarf from around her neck and wrapping it around his.

"Tsk, fine, no need to involve the hag." He said looking at her with a glare that she saw right through. There was no anger in it. No it was a mix of exhaustion and frustration and thankfulness. He was thankful that he had his friend here, the one he entrusted all his problems to. The only one he knew he could trust one hundred percent. "I just didn't get a lot of sleep last night, and with everything happening there is a lot of stress ok? Nothing you can do about it. I'll be fine, I just gotta get through today." He said looking down at his hands between his knees.

Now it was her turn to tsk.

"Nothing I can do huh? Are you sure there is nothing?" she asked getting up, kneeling down a few feet away from where the blonde sulked.

"What the hell are you talk-" He was cut off by a ball of snow hitting him in the face. His red eyes stared at the girl, his brain caught between anger and laughter. She stood there another snowball in her hand, tossing it up and catching it gently, hoping it wouldn't break in her hand. She had never won a snowball fight but neither had Katsuki, he usually got too mad and ended up having the balls melt in his hands before he could throw them.

Katsuki smirked, leaning down where he sat and scooping up some snow from in front of his feet. "Oh I'm gonna kick your ass Kiki." He chucked the ball, hitting her right in the stomach.

She smiled letting her ball lose, not realizing how quick Bakugou had gotten due to his training, easily dodging her attack. Before she could make another one he was behind her, holding her where she stood.

"Uh oh" She said, her eyes going wide, realizing the mess she had gotten herself into.

"Uh oh" Katsuki chuckled into her ear before picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder.

"Let me down! You know I don't like to be picked up! Katsuki!" She squealed, earning a chuckle from the blonde boy.

"Oh no, I'm not letting you off that easy, that snowball was cold as hell. And weren't you the one concerned I was gonna get sick?" He asked the rhetorical question, walking over to one of the trees scattered around the courtyard.

"I still am so maybe we should just go inside." Kikimora said nervously, not knowing what his plan was but knowing she was not going to like it.

"No way, no one hits the future number one in the face and gets away with it mouse." He said, using the nickname he gave her when they were kids. Once they were under the tree, in the blink of an eye Bakugou had set the girl down and kicked the trunk of the tree, causing all of the snow that had built up in the branches to fall onto her.

He let out a loud laugh at the girl then, the circles under his eyes lessening and the lines of stress on his face fading, even just for a moment made her smile and laugh back at him.

"Ha ha ha, you think your so funny," She quipped, pulling his arm, making him fall forward, surprised by the action, face first into a small pile of the snow that had fell. Now it was Kikimora's turn to laugh.

The two friends lay there for a while, catching their breath. Well, Kikimora caught her breath, Katsuki never lost his to begin with. He turned to look at her, he noticed how much she had changed since he moved into the UA dorms. Her hair had grown and she now wears it back in a sloppy braid, and her face had seemed to mature, along with the rest of her body. He watched as her whole body seemed to move up and down as she breathed, her breath coming out in small white puffs. He noticed how her hips had widened and her chest filled out her jacket much more than it had before. The realization of this made Katsuki blush madly looking up through the tree they were both under.

"Maybe we should head inside, your face is starting to look red, I really don't want to take care of a sick Katsuki." She said, getting to her feet, pulling him up by his hand, making his face turn a deeper shade of red. He looked away, pulling the scarf up around his face tighter to hid the blush. Kikimora pulled him by the hand to his dorm building, both of them pulling off their shoes and soaked layers of clothing, leaving Kiki in a damp thermal shirt and leggings and Katsuki in his tank top and pajama pants.

"Your late. How did I know you would be involved." Aizawa glared at the blonde boy.

"Tsk, it wasn't my fault she wouldn't leave me alone." Katsuki glared back at him, not noticing the fist flying toward his shoulder.

"Don't blame me cause you're a hothead who doesn't listen." She seethed at him, sighing and turning to bow at the teacher in front of them.

"Sorry I'm late sir, I got... distracted. I won't make you wait on me again." Aizawa smiled at the girl, noting how Katsuki did nothing at being punched by her.

"It's fine, but you missed the tour. I'm sure your... distraction wouldn't mind showing you around. Your in the room next to Uraraka, Bakugou show her where it is. And get changed out of those wet clothes, both of you." The tired teacher instructed, walking out of the building without confirmation. Kiki looked to her friend smiling brightly as he looked back at her with a neutral expression.

"Well, show me around then." She smiled at him, taking his warm hand in hers. walking a few steps first to get him moving. He just nodded and took the lead to show her around her new home.

[neewollah-dorm]

How Neewollah would operate in the game

More so a series of events than actual like, story story written out. More so the beats than everything in depth and detail. 

The beginning of the arc has sprinkled in a lot of hushed whispers of other students about the vague 'game' or about 'bets' being placed to them and others anxious that they didn't make a wrong bet or that their bet actually went through and didn't get duped into money being lost cause they got tricked. 

With those whispers and rumors going around about a soon to happen ‘session’. Ace and Deuce definitely want to stick their noses where things don’t belong and are very intrigued with what they hear the upper classmen talking about so secretively. Thus when inevitably Ace can’t keep his mouth shut and is asking and talking about it so freely and openly it will catch the attention of Rowdon. Whom, if i should remind people, is more of the muscle that makes sure that people don’t talk about it. Not so openly at the least. 

So Rowdon would be quite an intimidating force and especially so for the Adeuce duo thanks to them wanting to find out what they can. I’m sure the two probably end up getting quite a bit roughed up that lead to more interest unfortunately in this session but also probably leading for Yuu to going to the Neewollah to personally talk to the dorm leaders about Rowdons actions. Sure they hadn’t seen Rowdon do anything to the duo but...with their insistence and how they try to turn the other way whenever Rowdon even shows any trace is worrisome. 

Yuu and Grim probably end up demanding Rowdon take them to Neewollah. Which Rowdon will shock them with nodding “Tomorrow. Same time, meet me here! Kekeke.” In which Rowdon will be dragging them personally towards the mirror without explaining anything which is honestly quite terrifying. They get dragged in through with burlap sack tied over their heads and then shoved into a moving enchanted bathtub while they make their way to the dorm building. Obviously in a homage to the movie. 

Its a lot of alluding to how busy Ammiras is and how its rare hes seen unless its for scheduled events and usually you need to mark down when you meet with him if its so important and cant be solved in a few minutes. Which drives Tallis up the wall that he has to deal with so many of the dorm leader responsibilities on his own, but that’s just how it is around here and it was like that last year too when Tallis took up the vice dorm leader position. 

A lot of the inside Neewollah portion is dealing getting to see the relationship between Rowdon and Tallis which is quite a bit odd but also it’s where theres a few small and quick interactions with Ammiras that was busy about and also coming to pick up reports the others in Neewollah have dropped off. He’s quite a bit hospitable and kind but he makes sure the stay for Yuu and Grimm isn’t long. Though he did say he’ll ‘talk with Rowdon’ about his actions and that he’s ‘So sorry something could potentially harmful could have happened, he’ll investigate when he has the time further’ . Ammiras personally would escort Yuu and Grim out of Neewollah, back in the enchanted bathtub and with the burlap sacks over their head again [Though Grimm probably was just stuffed in a bag fully]. Oh well the cat’s out of the bag when they get to leave Neewollah, he’s fine.  

Cause its getting close to when 'The Day’ happens, when the place will open in a specific area and only people who have placed bets know when to go precisely in and with the right code that they better memorize or they wont be able to come in at all and will just flat out lose their money if they cant keep their shit together. its high stakes and secretive and i bet grim really wants to get in there and see whats up because they hear you can even learn high and secret spells most of the public don’t have access to that makes it very alluring for those wanting better magical prowess. So theres more than just monetary prizes to win.   Obviously its around a very high stress time for Ammiras because he needs to keep everything organized on everyone as hes the only one to handle all this because if only one needs to keep a secret then the secret will stay secret. He has to write reports for Crowley, he has to deal with a snoop that might actually end up in the place if he isn't careful. People aren’t being careful with how much they’re talking as much as they used to. Not to mention the prefect of Ramschackle seems to be butting their head into this business and with what’s been following where they go it’s worrisome. Especially since he heard of Azuls ruined contracts, those overblots, so many things. He’s more tense than usual. 

its the end where they get to see the underground place thats blacked out and full of glow in the dark leading to more hints of who it could be. It’s got music going, a myriad of different rooms, and a giant door that leads to the ‘pit’ as most like to dub the arena people watch the ‘losers’ compete. 

As The Gambler, Ammiras is very showy, hes a proper show man and gets the crowd interested and ready. Though it’s not hard to when most of the crowd know what they’re getting ready to see. People struggling to survive in the pit.  When Yuu and Grim stumbled in Ammiras thought it would be a good example for why you don’t meddle. Forcing them in to continue playing like the other penniless losers. However being Yuu and Grim and working together they’ve started ruined the game going on for those who are the rats for the peoples entertainment for the others failings and now this whole thing is tumbling over, people are upset, people want their game, people want their bets, and these upstarts are ruining everything! He hasn’t worked years on this for these stupid first years, a weird racoon and a magic less human to come RUINING! EVERYTHING! 

Mostly everyone scatters as soon as as The Gambler starts overblotting, leaving only the few people around in the pit left while people above are getting out of there because they don’t want to be chanced with interacting with The Gambler when overblotted.  Behind The Gambler, obviously it would be oogie boogie like the other villians, but i do think Ammiras would show a lot more spider qualities to show its way more like him in the overblottage. 

What we’d see in Ammiras memories would be a moment with freshman Ammiras, showing his grandfather in falling health, his sole guardian at this point all the tiers he’s been getting, disregarding practically everything else, no clubs, no friends, no breaks, just having worked as fast as he could to getting all these tiers showing what he’s learned not just only from the school but in the dorm. Ending the little scene with Ammiras assuring he’d come back as dorm leader and get to show off a new dorm outfit. [But that wouldn’t be able to happen as his grandfather passes away before getting to see him as a dorm leader] 

In the aftermath of it all hes probably waiting terrified in the dorm room waiting for Crowley to show up, hes an adult, he’d easily be tried for all the things he did, the least offense he could get is expulsion and as a third year.... so close to graduation. 

he probably already packed what few things he had just ready for him to come to just leave but then Crowley....doesn't. So Ammiras probably keeps staring at the Yuu and Grim far away whenever hes out and about for classes, obviously distrust and disdain when others aren’t looking. He wonders what they're up to, what they're plotting, why haven't they told Crowley? itd be something that carries over into another chapter for full reconciliation and being on good terms

Ammiras would find them repulsive for being like this and tell them straight to their face "Your tenderheartedness can be so unbelievable. Its disgusting how you want to portray yourself so genuinely like thats the truth of yourself. You don't want me safe at all. Whatever. If it makes you feel so superior fine. Just keep your mouths shut." being very transparent just this once and leaves the room before pausing at the door and turning his head over his shoulder "But thank you. I appreciate you being quiet in the least." "Even if you caused that whole mess in the first place."

it probably just ends up a chill underground club on the weekends with cool glow in the dark and less deadly games and more like a general casino but with the cooler atmosphere. With glow in the dark, actual games to play and ya know learn, still more stacked in Ammiras favor but still those are how casinos go. Actually a lot of the more terrifying and scary equipment from the pit, chains, saws, electrical things, and more probably are more used for decoration behind glass containers so there’s still a bit of edge to the whole look of things...and especially how it started as a reminder.  he did as they asked, he held up his end in making the casino both safer, more fair, and more accessible.  They just need to shut up and don’t mention whats up though Rowdon probably lets Yuu, grimm and unfortunately the Aduece duo in whenever instead of specific people only because Ammiras doesn't want them feeling slighted for not getting an invite even tho they didn't apply for one basically.  Ammiras knows better than to go against the hand that feeds you. 

[coolskinless]

Between Pleasure and Pain

I was getting ready for our date night, even though I felt a little uncomfortable because it was that time of the month and my belly did not feel right. I usually never get cramps, but I do not know what it was with me tonight that I just did not feel good enough. So, I decided to call Lou and change the plans.

*On the phone with Lou*

Lou: Hey babe, what’s up?

Y/N: Hey babe, I don’t feel very good enough to go out tonight, can we just say in this time?

Lou: Omg, sure! Are you ok? What’s wrong? Do you need me to take you something? Do you need to go to a doctor? Tell me what to do, what do you need?

Lou sounded frenetic which made me giggle because of how adorable he is.

Y/N: Noo haha I’m fine, I just don’t feel comfortable enough to go out, maybe we can stay here tonight…order something…watch a movie?

Lou: Of course! Whatever you want, you got it. Are you sure you don’t need me to take you something? Medicine or…?

Y/N: Nah, I’m good, thank you babe, you’re very sweet.

Lou: Mmmkay, I’m on my way.

We hung up, and I just smiled looking at my phone, he´s just so sweet and attentive, he literally can’t be any more perfect. I put my phone down and start putting some more comfortable clothes because just the thought of putting on some jeans made my uterus rumble.

A few minutes passed and I heard a knock on the door and I immediately get happy butterflies in my stomach instead of angry wasps in my lower belly, so I drag my sorry but excited ass to the door and open up to see Lou holding a grocery bag up to his face. Just when I thought he could not be more perfect, he tops himself.

Lou: I did not know in what mood you might be in for, so I brought you everything.

He dumped the whole bag in the kitchen island, and he did bring me everything. Ice cream, instant noodles, strawberry milk, spicy chips, mini cakes, the whole ass store! I looked at him with grateful eyes and reached out my hands to cup his face.

Y/N: Thank you babe…

Then joined out lips in a gentle and warm kiss. His lips are so soft and plump, his hand grab me tenderly by my waist and pull me closer to him. I move my hands to the back of his neck and intensify our kiss. He really is the perfect man.

We break the kiss and look at each other smiling.

Y/N: So, what movie do you wanna watch?

Lou giggles

Lou: You pick the movie, first I wanna make my famous homemade instant noodles for my sick girl.

Half an hour went by and Lou finished making his so called “famous instant noodles”, lowkey they looked bomb, smelled spicy, lots of veggies and an egg, just how I liked it. I was grabbing my first bite, but as soon as I swallowed the spicy broth, my cramps started to act up again intensely, like Satan started to shake hands with my womb. So, I couldn’t help but to make a painful face with still the noodles in my mouth. Lou started to panic, as usual and came to my side of the island.

Lou: What is it!? You don’t like it!? Is it too spicy!? I’m so sorry babe! Spit it out, its ok! Tell me what’s wrong! What do I do!?

I smiled at him as I still chewed the food in my mouth, trying to look better so he would stop worrying. But the look on his face told my total opposite, he looked concerned af.

Y/N: I’m fine babe, its not the noodles, its just that time of the month and it hurts a bit.

Lou: Omg babe, why didn’t you tell me? I’m so sorry!

Lou apologized as he hugged me in the chair, putting one hand in my back, the other at the back of my head and resting me on his chest.

Y/N: Sorry for what? Its not your fault.

I smiled while looking at him

Lou: Still! I don’t like it when my baby is in pain.

Lou looked at me with those puppy dog eyes, and it just made me melt. I convinced him that I was fine after much insisting to go to the doctor lol. We finished our noodles, we talked and laughed about our day, this kind of distraction is just what I needed to make me feel better. Then we grabbed some more of the snacks Lou brought and moved to the couch. We started watching some movie while eating the snacks, but at some point, I feel asleep in his chest, my favorite place.

I was sleeping comfortably with the movie noises on the background when all of a sudden I feel a sharp pain in my lower belly that made me sit up abruptly scaring the shit out of Lou who was also falling asleep.

Lou: Babe, what’s wrong!? Are you okay!?

Y/N: Yeah, it’s just…

I couldn’t even finish my sentence, I just sat there holding my belly trying to make the pain away. Lou held me tight against him and surprisingly the pain went away almost immediately. I was happily surprised and looked at him in awe.

Y/N: It stopped…

Lou: It did!?

Y/N: Yeah, I guess it has something to do with the apartment being so cold and your body temperature being warm.

Lou: Okay, that settles it.

Lou got up, picked me up in his arms bridal style and started walking to my bedroom.

Y/N: What are you doing? Haha

Lou: We are going to bed

He said that with total confidence, and I was in shock because we´ve never been in bed together. But I couldn’t help but to look at his side profile and smile at him.

He tucked me into bed, went to put the unfinished groceries away, turn the TV off, to switch all the lights off so just the moonlight entered the room and crawled in next to me under the sheets. This was a next step to our relationship, but I was loving it. Just the two of us together, in bed, you could listen to our breathing, and just by feeling Lou´s warm body next to mine made me feel so much better.

The hours went by and I didn’t even notice when I fell asleep, but another sharp pain woke me up out or nowhere. I opened my eyes and saw Lou´s face get illuminated by the moonlight entering the dark room through the window. I felt a sense of peace just by looking at him sleep, so calm and beautiful. I wanted to keep admiring him, but a second wave of pain appeared like the one in the living room, making me move and moan a little, waking Lou up.

Lou: Babe, what’s wrong?

Lou´s groggy and confused voice next to me made me stop my complaining and look up at him because he highkey sounds very sexy when he just woke up. His roommates are very lucky guys.

Y/N: I’m fine…

I say out of breath, while I press on my lower belly trying to make the pain away. I can tell by the look in his eyes that he knows that he can’t do much. So, without saying anything, he just grabs me and pulls me close to him, again, my head in his chest, his arms wrapped around me, our legs intertwined, if my lower stomach wasn’t so uncomfortable I would say this is heaven.

Some minutes went by and the pain would come and go, mild, I can handle it. But it started getting worse to the point where I couldn’t keep still, I was moving and moaning and shaking. All I could do was hug Lou for some comfort.

Lou´s POV

It hurt my soul so see Y/N in pain, I couldn’t do much but to hold her and wait for her to feel better. But then something happened...

She was moaning, and moving her body against mine, I didn’t know what to do. She was like, asleep still, but in her discomfort, she couldn’t keep still. She was moaning and rubbing her body with mine, her legs went up and down on mine, she kept tilting her head back with her eyes closed, just enough of the moonlight hit her so I can see her features het enlightened in the most flattering way. I’ve never seen her this way, not that I haven’t imagined it, I actually think about her like this all the time but seeing her like this in real life is just so much better.

Little moans escape her slightly opened lips, making me go crazy, but I can’t do anything about it. Her arms keep moving back and forth at the back of my neck, and all I could think about was this is how she would look like if I was insider her.

Lou get your shit together…your girlfriend is in pain and you are here next to her just perverting yourself. You´re right…I should stop thinking, I should stop thinking about her breasts pressed to my chest, her hips pounding against mine, her breath against my ear, saying my name over and over again. How can I focus on making her feel better when she is turning around, and her ass is literally pressing on my cock??? I mean..I cant to much but hug her anyways, so I just hug her by her tiny waist and pull her even closer to me to feel her even better. She keeps moving and if I let myself go I can easily cum right now, but I keep my cool and just snuggle my face into the back of her neck and breathe in real deep. She smells amazing, a combination of her shampoo and Y/N, makes my blood boil in lust just like that. I run my hand through the side of her body making a perfect wave between her arm, her waist, and her hips, I cant believe that this is…like, she…and…I have no words to describe the effects that she has on me.

She turns around again, facing me and breaking my trance, she has her eyes open and is looking at me. I was breathless for a second because I didn’t know how long she was awake, if she felt me grow in my pants, maybe I made her feel uncomfortable by touching her in her sleep, I don’t want her to think that I don’t care about her feeling sick. I was lost in my thoughts when I feel Y/N lips against mine.

Y/N POV

I was half asleep and half awake, I was so uncomfortable, I couldn’t find a comfortable position to sleep in, the only thing that made me not lose my mind was Lou next to me holding me tight. I was moving nonstop in my sleep without realizing it when I felt it.

Lou was rock hard next to my thighs, pressing against them, me with still my eyes closed I kept them that way, I don’t want him to notice that I felt him and scare him away. I’ve always thought about Lou that way, we’ve been dating for two months and since we met, I’ve always wondered what’s he like in bed. We´ve never done much but make out on the couch, but this was different, he was rock hard, and I knew he wanted me. So, I just kept pretending that I was asleep in discomfort and kept moving, the only thing that wasn’t pretend was the pain, the cramps actually made me shake, I was just gonna keep my eyes closed while I ride the waves of pain and see how Lou reacts.

I turn around and purposely face my butt against his bulge, feeling grow harder. I don’t know if he is asleep anymore, but I don’t care, I keep moving slowly and little by little, so he doesn’t realize that I’m awake. But then I feel him trace my side with his hand, his slow steady hand drives me crazy, then he puts his face in the back of my hair and I feel him inhale and exhale, he is definitely not asleep anymore. So, I turn around and look at him wide awake, I stare at him for a few seconds and just see him look a little surprised, like waiting for me to do something, but all I can do is cup his face in my hands and press my lips against his.

I would love to continue this kiss and see what happens next, but unfortunately I’m on my period and we cant do anything about it, so I just kiss him softly and return to our original position and try to fall sleep again.

Lou´s POV

A few days have gone by since that night, and all I can think about is Y/N. Her body in the moonlight, her collarbone exposed, her thighs rubbing mine, her lips letting out little moans. I find myself distracted thinking about that in everything I do, while I’m cooking or eating, while I’m in the studio, with the guys, cleaning, or literally just laying awake at night thinking about her. The bathroom of our dorm has been very busy lately, not gonna lie, she is all I can think about. Its hurts that I can´t see her every day because of my schedule, but I gonna see her tonight and I cannot wait.

Y/N POV

A few days have gone by since that night, and all I can think about is Lou. I keep daydreaming of what it would be like to have him inside me, moaning in my ear, squeezing my flesh…ok that’s enough. I need to focus, because thanks to all these thoughts I have been washing a lot more of my underwear than any other clothes lately. I’m gonna see him tonight, and maybe who knows, maybe tonight is the night.

Y/N POV

Lou arrives late at night as per usual, he greats me with a kiss like always but it feels different this time, the kiss was longer and more passionate than usual, you know…those kisses that leave you breathing a little heavier after. And in general, you feel like there is a heavier mood around the room, like, dense, but I ignore it. We order dinner and start our nightly ritual of eating and watching a movie. While we have dinner, we talk about our day and just regular stuff, but with these glares he gives me, I finally figure out what this dense mood I feel is, its sexual tension. You can feel the sexual tension in the air like fog, this boy wants action tonight, and you know what? He´s gonna get it.

We finish our dinner and move to the couch to watch a movie; we start cuddling like usual, me slightly on top of him resting on his chest and his arms around me, but the dense fog of sexual tension is still there. I look up at him and smile looking for some clue, but he just gives me a side smile with a kiss on my forehead. So I look back at the TV and continue the movie, but then I feel his hand slowly lower from my upper back to my lower back where my skin is showing because of my crop top and I feel his thumb draw a little heart between my Venus’s dimples which send shivers all over my body. I look up at him and we stare at each other’s eyes for like 5 seconds looking for permission, and we join our lips on a profound kiss. My hands are around his neck and his hands are all around me, we continue kissing for a few minutes with hot and heavy breathing before I break the kiss to look straight into his eyes again and tell him:

Y/N: Lou…can you make love to me tonight?

Lou´s pupils dilate with hunger and just nods lightly before joining his lips with mine once again. He stands up with me on top of him and we stumble across the room on the way to my bed while his hands rumble across my body in desperation. Oh my god, this is finally happening.

The back of my knees feel the edge of the bed and Lou lays on top of me as we continue kissing frantically. For a second Lou break the kiss and with heavy breathing he looks at me asks:

Lou: Are you sure you wanna do this?

Y/N: Im sure…

And I pull him back to me kissing him anxiously, I run my tongue lightly through his bottom lip and bite it softly, making him let out a little grunt from the back of his throat. Which was the drop that spilled the glass, I was soaking wet and ready for him.

The make out session became a little more rough, I could feel ALL the weight of his body all over me and then some…I wrapped my legs around his waist pulling his pelvis in between my legs and feeling his bulge press against me as he starts to grind driving me crazy making me moan out loud. His hands move up to my hair and his lips move down to my neck, down my cleavage, placing wet kisses all over my chest. He sit up a bit to lift my shit off and down a bit to take my bottoms too, after he strips me off my clothes he stays at the edge of the bed just staring, and I start to feel shy and he notices.

Lou: You´re perfect

He leans down on me again kissing me painfully slow from my stomach up to my now very exposed breasts. You could se my hard nipples through the lace of the bra, and he is just over them basically breathing on them, he places his mouth over my nipple and starts playing with it over the fabric making me feel electricity. I tilt my head back to the bed and just enjoy the moment, but then he starts softly biting on my nub making me moan and squirm of pleasure. I put my hand on the back of his head to pull him closer to me at the same time he bites a little bit harder making me pull a fistful of his hair, which he moans to the motion. At this point I’m kind surprised because this boy lowkey kinky, and I live for it.

He leads the kisses downtown and continues kissing me over the wet fabric of the underwear, he runs his hands along my legs until he reaches the sides of my panties to pull them down. Instinctively I try to close my legs on his face, but he stops them by putting his palms on both my knees and spreading them wide open.

Lou: Oh my god, you´re perfect, you´re so wet

He starts sliding his hands through the outside of my thighs as he starts going down on me, slowly licking, and caressing my pussy. Giving kitten lick on my clit making me whimper, slowly making his lick bigger and bigger on my clit warming me up for the main event.

Y/N: Oh my god Lou!

I start moaning and arching my back as he is sucking at my clit like as if it was a tiny cherry flavored lollipop. My moaning just encouraged him more to keep going because he wasn’t stopping anytime soon. He grabs me by the hips and pulls me closer to his face to the point my legs are at his back and his mouth is at my entrance inserting his tongue in and out scooping my juices out for him as I’m curving my back in ecstasy. I’m moaning to loud at this point, I have to cover my mouth, but I feel a hand from underneath uncovering my hand from my mouth.

Lou: Don´t stop, I love hearing you scream for me

He picks up the pace and its getting me closer, I’m a moaning mess, my body was reacting by its own, I wasn’t in control any more, was I ever in control with Lou? I start to feel my stomach knot up, you feel yourself getting tighter and tighter, your legs start to shake and close on Lou´s face, but he keeps them open with his arms as you cum on his mouth, drinking everything from you.

Lou: Oh my god, you taste delicious

Lou incorporated himself and started to take his clothes off right in front of me, I was already a breathless mess by just climaxing, now seeing him strip is another type of high. He starts to take off his shirt and you´re blown away just like the day you saw him for the first time, he was just perfection. Then he proceeds to take off his pants to release his hard cock from his boxers, he starts to stroke it as he looks at me, and I can see his jaw clench and his arm muscles tense and release with every stroke.

Lou: You like what you see?

He asks with a smirk on his face as I, apparently, was staring at IT all this time. I just couldn’t stop imagining how his size was just perfect to stretch me open and fill every bit of my insides.

Y/N: I love what I’m seeing…

I said trying to be smooth. He smirk again and starts to crawl over me again, looking straight into my eyes, he positions himself right over me but a few inches away, so I move my hips a little closer to have him right at my entrance. I started to open my mouth to say something, but he started to enter in me before I could say anything, what was I gonna say anyways? Who know? All I knew was that Lou was finally inside me, and without breaking eye contact he started thrusting in an out of me. I move my legs around his waist to give him more access, I want to feel all of him, with every thrust I can feel him stretching me open, and all of a sudden he stops and rests his head on my neck, I was confused and wanted to ask him to please keep moving, but I realized, he was already close, if I asked him to keep moving he was gonna cum and this was gonna be over very soon, so I just cupped him by his cheeks and started kissing him with all the love I have for him.

His breathing intensified as he is trying not to move, but just feeling his cock throb inside me made me quiver, and I cant stand it any longer, I just need him to move and fuck the shit out of me.

Y/N: Lou…please…move

Lou starts to move faster and faster each time, you can hear him moan in your ear, it’s like hearing an angel sing with a very deep voice, I want more of that, so I start pushing my hips at his compass with every thrust.

Y/N: Oh my god Lou, it feels amazing!

I cry out, with every thrust you feel a spark starting to form in the pit of your stomach.

Lou: You´re amazing baby, you feel so amazing, taking me all in, swallowing… me… all… in…

His thrust started to slow down, and I feel him getting harder and bigger inside of me as I start to get tighter around him. He buries his face in my neck again, occasionally biting and sucking at my soft skin, probably gonna have marks later.

Y/N: L…Lou…i´m gonna…

Lou: I know baby I know, you´re getting so tight, cum for me

I tried to warn him, but I feel myself snapping into a million pieces. He picks up the pace and starts circling his thumb around my clit, wrapping my arms around his neck, clinging onto him as hard as I can, I feel my core bursting making me moan like crazy as I’m seeing his name in starts.

Lou: FUUCK!

He moans as he comes with me, riding my orgasm like a wave. He stays inside me while I continue shaking, he moves some hair from my face and kisses me tiredly but passionately. He pulls out gently and you can feel the your juices combined pour out of you, he lays next to me and pulls me onto his chest, laying on top of him he wraps us in the blanket, hugging him I can get a scent of his cologne and his sweat, the perfect combination to make my endorphins act up.

Lou: Y/N, I love you

Y/N: I love you too

[thetorturerwrites]

Puer Deus: Strings

This amazing artwork was gifted to me by @faestae-writes​. Please do not re-use or re-post it without permission from them and/or myself. Don’t be a dickbag.

***

Captured / Hurricane / Sustenance / Liar / Scars / Proof

Summary:  When he wants more

A/N:  OK YOU GUYS -- Look, if you're here this far in, you know this is some dark shit. So, please heed this warning: This is a DARK, heavy kink chapter. SO, some things... 1. The content herein has been dramatized for effect, but this is real shit that happens in the real world. Please feel free to ask me any questions. 2. If you feel the need to explore anything here further, do your research and be risk aware. 3. Strap in. This is some shit. 4. 50 points to your house if you spot the FYA reference. :)

Word Count: 9.3k (I AM NOT SORRY)

Day Seven

It was a flicker of a moment, a subtle jolt of injected power, when the night cycle ended and day officially began.

What day is it?

Today was the first time you wouldn’t stumble to consciousness or fight through a fog.  You were still embroiled in questions, though. Ren told you that you’d been here four days, but how many days ago was that?

You decided it was simply too surreal for you to actually be here, to be in your body, in Ren’s room, on board his ship.  Each time you thought up a level, you felt smaller and more insignificant. Maybe you really had died. Maybe you’d bled out on his floor, and this was your afterlife.

No, not that lucky… 

Your eyes were dry and red from so much crying.  Your body was beyond battered, a landscape of harm and wound, mania and furor. You wore the hue of bruise like a new catsuit, covered by Ren’s painful passion from throat to toes.

The idea that some part of you would hurt, sting, throb, or ache every day you were with Ren had been hard to swallow; but a week into this persecution, you knew it to be fact.

How long until he breaks bones?

Sitting in the center of his great, wide bed, you ran your fingers over the still-bloody sheets and contemplated the last however many hours.  Ren made it clear that he still meant to keep you, and the idea was solidifying more and more in your brain. You pondered whether or not you would be allowed to leave this fucking room as his personal pet.

Having spent a lifetime under open skies, being caged inside four walls for days, weeks, maybe months sent your anxiety into overdrive.  The notion that you would only ever see light cycles and never again sunlight strangled you, chased away all your air. At some point, you knew you would try to flee again just for a damn change of scenery.  

After he’d left, you complied with Ren’s instructions insomuch as you did eat and did not try to escape.  Sleep, on the other hand, was put to the back burner because you were still in his chambers. Even if he didn’t spend all of his time here, these were his things, and they could tell you a great deal.  With the guard outside this time, you simply could not pass up the opportunity to explore.

The room was eloquent in its simplicity and deliberate in its function.  You ran fingers and palms over all of the flat surfaces, seeking out hidden drawers or levers in the walls and along the sides of the bed.  Everything was dark gloss, industrial in its execution and easily maintained.

Of note, there was a threshold of polish right at the door, a long stretch just on the inside where the shine was high. However, that luster faded two or three steps inside.  Ren did not allow people in his room often, even a cleaning crew.

Defeated, you slunk back to the bed.  You’d checked all of the hiding places you would use, but you found nothing.  Ren either didn’t have anything to hide or he was exceptionally good at it.

Sometime in the night cycle, you’d awoken alone in an empty bed, struggling with this swirling sense of loneliness.  Captors didn’t usually sleep with prisoners, but weren’t you more than a prisoner now? With a scowl, you shook the stupid thought from your head.

You were an object to him, easily discarded and forgotten.

You hadn’t slept much after that.  You curled onto your side, facing the vacant side of the bed and overrun with disquiet, anticipation.  You were faced with warring options. Relent and become the devil’s plaything or escape and be hunted. The bitter truth was you wanted both, and this was not the sort of universe to grant such possibilities.

Morning came, food was delivered, and you were still alone.  

Now, you were trying to forget the familiarity you thought you’d seen in Ren’s eyes yesterday, trying to wash it down the damnable drain.  He was no more capable of gentleness than you were of speech. Trying to smother the ache, you turned the shower up as hot as you could handle and drifted into distraction, turning inward in a forlorn bid to comfort yourself.

The darkness that had always been there for you, though, was an empty consolation.  Ren had blown apart every part of you and stomped on the ashes; he’d even taken your blessed darkness, the one place you could hide.  Because when you closed your eyes to sink into that blissful nothingness, you saw him, his bloody face, his burning eyes.

Kylo Ren had infected every part of you, right down to the subconscious.

When you could pity yourself no more, you turned off the shower, scraped the water from your body as best you could, and purposefully avoided your reflection.  The woman in the mirror wanted you to make choices you weren’t sure you could live with.

Exiting the bathroom, you were stopped dead in your tracks by the sight of Ren sitting on the floor at the foot of the bed.  He had a smallish black case to his left and was resting with one arm on a bent knee, his long body relaxed and waiting for you.

You were irked by how beautiful and calm and unhurried he looked.  Must he always look so put together when you only ever felt on the verge of shattering into dirty, unrecognizable pieces of yourself?

Hi...

“You haven’t eaten today.”

He gestured over his shoulder to the tray that still had food on it.  You were flushed from the hot water and stark fucking naked, but you burned redder at the idea that you were going to be punished like a child for not eating. Again. 

Canting your head a bit, you gestured towards the shower.  You’d wanted to wash away the feel of dry, endlessly recycled air, dirt, and shame before you did anything else.  Conquering the day wasn’t on your agenda, but surviving it was.

“Good,” he looked you over speculatively, and your eyebrows shot to your hairline.

He’d shoved food directly into your throat to make sure you were decently-nourished; and now, he didn’t care if you ate?  The speed with which this man changed course made your head swim, and you just stared at him, complete irritation plastered all over your face.  

Fucking pick one, would you please?

The withering look he leveled at you set your blood to boiling.  You’d forgotten that he could hear you now; but by the darkness in his eyes, you knew he’d be sure you didn’t forget again.

“Come here.”

You tensed, arms crossing over your chest as though you could armor yourself against him.  For a second, you couldn’t make yourself move. He wanted you to willingly deliver yourself to his torment.  

A shiver worked its way up your spine, blossoming into sparks at the back of your brain, but you couldn’t tell if it was from fear or pining.  If you refused, he would simply put his angry hands on your body and bend you to his whim. You didn’t know what would happen if you complied without a fight.

Taking in a steadying breath, you closed the distance on tender steps, the soles of your feet still bothered at bearing weight so soon.  Stopping when you were within arms reach, you looked past him to study the kit he’d brought, uncertainty wrinkling your forehead.  

It was a med kit, a field kit.  You’d carried one yourself for years, but your wounds had already been tended.  You were littered with surgical tape and Bacta patches.

What could he possibly need a field kit for?

Are you hurt?

Ren’s rough hand slid up along the curve of your body, settling at your waist and sending fissures of desire playing along the swell of your belly.  Your knees and thighs pressed together, and you shifted under his appraisal. He’d seen you naked before. Multiple times, in fact. But this felt different, affectionate. He had stripped you completely bare, laid out your mind and soul for him to reanimate at will.

Feeling naked in front of this man was about more than just your flesh.

Digging his fingers in, he maneuvered you to sit on the edge of the bed in front of him.  All of the tension you’d washed away in the shower came barreling back. Every muscle was tight, and every synapse was screaming that you needed to get away.

Sat like this, unrestrained before him, you fidgeted, frightened.  Your heart drummed so loud you thought he could certainly hear it. When he was silent and calm like this, you were lost to apprehension, images of lightsabers inside your body where they shouldn’t be flooding your mind. You could likely conjure up more ways for him to murder you than he could.

Just as worrisome, you couldn’t look away.  He captivated you each time he was in the room.  His dark irises gleamed as he held your stare, his full lips curving up on a smirk.  He was daring you to look away first.

He won.

You wilted from the intensity of his gaze, turning your inflamed face away and averting your eyes.  In your stupor, you didn’t realize that he was talking to you. The only thing you could hear was the metronome of your heart, its pace quickening moment by moment.

Displeased that he had to draw back your attention, Ren’s hand was around your calf, fingers pushing in between the muscles and rubbing demandingly. You glared and hissed, twisting your legs together, knees tight.

What!

Slowly, deliberately, he reached up and swept his thumb along your mouth, smoothing away the bothered sneer.  When your lips relaxed, he pushed in and hooked his thumb into your teeth the way you hated, the way you loved.

Your core clenched as he tugged you forward. He brought you nose to nose, so close you could feel his warm breath.  He cleaved apart your desire to fight, soothing you into compliance with weaponized stillness.

“Open,” his voice was melodic, low, and rousing.

Your forehead crinkled in confusion.  Lifting a hand to settle at his wrist, needing the contact to go on, you shook your head ever so slightly because his thumb was already in your mouth.  It already was open.  

You felt his fingers tapping on your knee, then, and you burned red from ears to toes.  Whining, you tugged against his grip in a bid to keep him from seeing the way your thighs rubbed together at the very idea.

“I will not be repeating myself today, puppet.”

Blanching, you stiffened, building up any courage you could muster.  Finally, as though your maidenhead was actually still intact and valuable, you hesitantly parted your knees.

Other than his eyes trailing downward to watch your legs barely obey, Ren didn’t move or speak.  When his fingers dug harshly into your cheeks, cutting the weak skin inside against your teeth, you lurched and struggled.  This only tightened his hold, and you thought he might break your jaw. Clutching his forearm, you fought to settle back onto the bed and opened your knees wider and then wider still.

He didn’t release his rough grip on your face until your thighs were splayed far enough apart that your pussy opened for him, too, and your face ignited with humiliation. You rubbed at your abused jaw and cheek, wondering how long it would take the finger-sized discolorations to develop.

Are you hurt, though?

You surprised even yourself with the repeat question, circling back oddly and still not certain why you should be bothered.  He turned his beautiful, dusky eyes to you, and your breath caught. Was he pleased with your concern? Did it satisfy him to think he’d brainwashed you into caring?

He trapped you there, pinned by his mesmerizing eyes, while his fingers slid up your calf, thigh, hip.  You were nearly lulled into thinking his light touch would extend to your aching cunt, but he gripped your outer labia into such a tight pinch that you felt punched in the stomach.

You yelped and surged forward, folding in as much as you could, hips from screwing side to side trying to lessen the pressure.  He squeezed and tugged upon the tender flesh until it puffed up, swelling under his ministrations.

A satisfied sound bubbled up from his throat, and you slowly brought your focus back to him.

Kylo..please...

In a hot second, he switched and snatched up your left labia, digging his fingers in so deep you could feel the nails.  You shouted out, the wheeze of it tapering off as your breath heaved. Mirroring his grip, you dug your fingers into his arm but didn't try to push him away.

Screwing your eyes shut, you shuddered and tried to roll through the pain.

The whole middle of your body throbbed in time to your heartbeat, and you groaned when the endorphins finally kicked in to flood you with acceptance, the sound of it indecent even to you.  The sting and pulse abated slightly, and your head fell back, lips parting on a relieved sigh.  

“There we go,” he murmured, voice smooth like honey. “Open your eyes.”

You very nearly refused and vaulted from your perch, but it was inevitable.  You wanted to obey nearly as much as you wanted to fight, and it was this internal war he wanted to witness every time.  Willing your breathing to steady, you relaxed your fingers at his sleeve and opened glassy eyes.

The look of him, the utter craving displayed on his godlike features, was arresting, intoxicating.  His eyes shone a shade of twilight you’d never get used to, and his lips trembled, barely keeping his hunger contained. The way he was looking up at you was erotic and evoked a terrible longing.

Kylo!

Your face twisted into a pained frown as he switched back and forth between the two bloated lips.  He clucked in condescension when warm juice tracked down onto his fingers, and you buried your face in your hands.  When he finally stopped crushing you in his vice grip, the gratitude rushed out unchecked.

THANK you…   

Absent his touch, you pressed a hand at your abdomen and forced yourself to breathe deeply.  You were wholly disgusted with your response to such vulgar treatment. Would you blossom under every madness he put upon you? 

Your eyes lit upon his hands and the case he was holding, and you forgot to feel repulsed.

Dread filled your chest, squeezing your lungs back into panic. You had no fucking idea what he was about to do, and you were too terrified to look away. You didn’t think you could curtail his plan, but maybe you could persuade him that you would be good.

If you’ll just let me, I’ll go do it right now...

Ignoring you completely, he produced and threaded a slender surgical needle. Your torso hunched of its own volition, trying in vain to put more distance between you and that curved metal.  You mewled and whined, begging him to look and not do whatever this was, but he brushed your hands away, reaching out to tug and pinch at your labia again, inching nearer to his goal.

Fuck, Kylo..I’ll eat dammit! Please stop...

He looked at you, smug and cruel, and you finally understood that he was swelling your labia on purpose and with clear intent, and it had absolutely nothing to do with whether or not you'd eaten.  

You shook your head wildly, leaning forward and pushing at his arm in a different spot every time he would wave you off. Desperate, pleading tears sprang to your eyes, and you clung to him.

No no please no not that please no…

Finished with your begging, Ren anchored you in place with the Force, preventing you from even twitching from the waist down. He hummed at the sight of you, flushed and heaving, thighs spread wide.

You were in the middle of the next pitiful appeal when you felt the needle pierce your most-sensitive skin.  

You were too shocked to move, to shout, to implore him to spare you this torture.  The thin suture line dragged through the perforation, and your eyes slammed so tightly shut you thought they might bleed.

It wasn’t until the second stab of his suture needle that you fully understood what was happening.  You’d thought he simply meant to pierce the bulging, inflamed lips in order to decorate them; but when he tugged the line taut, pulling the swollen folds together, you sputtered and choked on your own spit.  You pawed at his shoulder imploringly, foolishly hoping he would surrender this plan if you appeased him with your touch.

Kylo..please don’t do this...please don’t do this...

He crooned and cupped your face, the supple tone of his voice belying the very atrocity he was committing upon you.  He straightened up to nudge your jaw with his nose, dragging the tip through your tears. Your fingers curled so tight into his sleeve that you popped stitches in the black fabric, but he offered you no more solace than this. 

He wasn’t indifferent to your suffering; he reveled in it, enjoying seeing it up close.

“You need strings, puppet.”

You whimpered helplessly, thinking you’d likely launch yourself into a dying star if he told you to with that almost-adoring voice.

He released your face, and you dissolved into wretched sobs.  There was no escaping his iron will, his demented punishment. Pressing the heels of your shaking hands into your eyes, you openly wept, not bothering to try to be strong for this, for him. Expecting you to endure this easily was too much.

Ren had treated you like property from the moment he saw you.  He’d proven to you that you were little more than an object to be toyed with, and his words from that day in the shower resounded in your ears.  But in this, he was taking away your humanity entirely. Any pretense that you might have been afforded some pleasure for your endurance bled away.

Stitch by stitch, Ren sewed your labia together, rendering you an androgynous receptacle, suitable for nothing more than receiving pain.

When he was finished, your clit was hidden snug behind a fleshy hem, but your vagina was open, accessible.  That was the part he needed, you thought morbidly.  

The Force pressure dissipated, your legs instinctively pressed together, and you curled into yourself. Digging ruddy fingertips into the mattress, you tried to flee, to crawl across the bed and away from him.

You’re a monster...

He captured you around the hips and hauled you onto your feet.  He didn't care that you were awash in pain; it didn't factor into his plans and was, thus, negligible. He gathered you into his arms, and you wished, for the hundredth time, that he had just let you die.

The sutures were neat and tidy, but every movement tugged at them, reminding you of your place in Kylo Ren’s world.  You erupted into a new bout of tears and pushed at his chest, angry and gutted.

“Walk,” he pressed his lips to your temple, murmuring the order into your hair, “or crawl.”

On an offended snort, you jerked your head away from his kiss.  Battling yourself into some semblance of calm, you sniffled and nodded.  He absolutely would make you crawl down the halls of this ship wearing nothing but those fucking sutures, and you’d rather not be so debased as that.

Suffering for Ren was one thing; suffering for an audience was too much.

He had stepped away to shake out clothes for you to wear when the epinephrine crested and dropped you over a black cliff. Thunder roared in your ears, and your eyes rolled into white.  Chased by a wounded gasp, your legs lost all ability to hold you and buckled, but Ren was at your side in an instant, snatching you up before you hit the floor. 

Righting you, he held your weight until your breathing regulated and you pushed back onto your feet. Not wanting to meet his eyes, you nodded against his shoulder, a silent report that you were here with him.  He helped you dress in the gauzy black shirt and pants and tipped your face up.  

You had no idea what he was looking for, and you were too tired to fake whatever it was.

Wrapping his great hand around your upper arm, he steered you from the room and down a dark corridor. He wouldn’t go through all the trouble to maim you if he was going to kill you, and you wondered what fresh hell you were being delivered to now. Your steps were slow, hesitant, but he didn’t rush you.  

Probably enjoying watching you hobbled in a fantastic new way...

He stopped on a chuckle, turned you to face him, and looked down at you with sardonic amusement.  You met his stare, fresh out of any damn to give over whether or not he heard you. You knew you were in no way threatening to this brute, but you leveled him with a searing gaze anyways.

“Supreme Leader Snoke is pleased with my progress.” Ren offered, pulling you flush against his body.  “He thinks I have no further need for you…” He reached out to brush his thumb across your glowering mouth. “...but I find that I want more.”

Overwhelmed and nervous at the admission, your mouth dropped open and you stared, dumbfounded.  While your mind tumbled over what else you could possibly offer him, he brushed past, leaving you to follow.

More?  What else was there?  Hadn’t you already given him everything?  He’d broken through your safety wall. He’d all but bathed in your blood.  He’d sewn your fucking cunt shut so you couldn’t even use it like a human being.

What the fuck else could you possibly want from me…

You were so angry that you stupidly followed him into a blindingly white room.  You slammed to a stop and blinked, forcing the room into focus. In the center, there was a surgical table, a tray of neatly-arranged instruments, and a man, dressed in gray scrubs and donning a clear splash guard at his face.  On the opposite side sat Ren’s black helmet, dented and busted apart.

Hand at your elbow, Ren led you further in and stroked your face with his wide palm, but you couldn’t tear your eyes away from the table.  He nudged the shell of your ear with his nose, and you quivered to feel so near to him, almost like a lover. You clutched at his shirt, molding your body to his and trying to hide from the coming onslaught.

You shook your head, already disbelieving, not wanting to hear what he was going to say next.

“I want to hear you scream,” his voice was hushed, as though this was a romantic secret.

All the blood drained from your face, and your mouth went bone dry. You looked from Ren, who was gazing down at you in a way that seared your insides, to the man waiting to enact his orders.  He stood there silently, waiting for his Commander’s direction, and you wondered if he’d been threatened into this room, too.

Ren turned you into the very middle of this insanity and hunched down to bury his face into the crook of your neck, crowding you back into the table.  Dancing on your toes, you laid petrified and quaking fingertips at his neck, needing to impress upon him how crazy this was.

Kylo...you can hear me...I’ve already given you everything..please don’t do whatever this is...

Paying no attention to your pleas, Ren slid his hands into the roomy waistband of your pants and nudged them down your body, kicking the paltry fabric away before you could get them. He lifted you onto the table and situated you at its very end, legs dangling in an eerily familiar way.

He stepped into the space between your legs, scooting your hips out to meet his.  You felt blistered every time you came into contact with his body, fingers, nose. He tipped your head back to lick at the scars crossing your larynx and rocked his body against yours. He was thick against you, his body hardening at the pitiable display you were putting on, and you whimpered in shameless response.

“Be good, puppet,” he hummed against your ear, enjoying the way your body reacted to his vicious dominance.

He stepped back, tugging out the table's stirrups, and you didn’t know who to be more afraid of. The doctor positioned his tray nearer to your head, stepping in so close you could smell the antiseptic soap.

You pushed at Ren’s hands when he guided your heels into the braces.

Kylo..please...You can’t… I can’t…

It was fluid now, automatic.  Your mouth opened when his fingers drew near, and he yanked you forward by that wicked hook. He slid his thumb slowly against your tongue and looked directly up into your eyes. Your knees knocked together, and you cried out in pain, having forgotten in your terror that your pussy was sewn up tight.

“You will.”

He did something to you when he said those things, and you stopped squirming.  You would never win this war. You would only tire yourself out with the fighting.  Beyond that, some delirious part of you wanted to prove him right, to show him that yes, you could do this.

Clenching your hands into tight fists, you closed your eyes to quell anxious tears.  He finished arranging your legs into the stirrups and scooted your ass down to the end of the table.  

Shame flooded you, barely contained by the bruised membrane that was your skin, because anyone who walked into the room would be treated to a view of your mistreated cunt.

Over you, the two men discussed what was about to happen as though you weren’t even there, and you felt more infinitesimal than ever before.  The doctor agreed that this was, indeed, a minorly invasive surgery, but it was what came next that launched you forward, panic-induced frenzy telling you to get the fuck out now regardless of whether you died in the process.

“There’s no need for a sedative.  She will be fine. Topical if you need it, but nothing stronger.”

You were a rabid animal up against an unstoppable force, but you howled and thrashed anyways.  You clawed at his arms and tried to kick him in the stomach and groin. You screamed and sobbed because even Santcha, who had done nothing but beat, stab, and take from you, had never been so cruel.

Each day you were here, Kylo Ren was disassembling you and rearranging your parts. He was building himself a better puppet, piece by bloody fucking piece.

You cannot do this!  You cannot do this...Kylo..you fucking cannot...

The doctor hunched over, holding his groin and floundering. Ren smirked, punching you into place with his trunk of an arm at your stomach.  Looking down at you, he stroked the inside of your knee with lazy circles, no doubt in a patronizing attempt to settle your fraying nerves. 

“Calm down, puppet.  You’re hurting the good doctor here.”

In your hysteria, you were pushing your feelings, your pain, out into the world around you. If you still hadn’t believed Ren about your Force-sensitivity, you’d just manifested all the proof he would ever need.

Exhausted from your outburst and ashamed for assaulting someone who hadn’t harmed you, you swallowed down air and fixed your stare upon the ceiling.  You counted heartbeats until the muscle didn’t feel like it was about to explode from your chest.

Angrily, you pushed Ren’s hand away.  You needn’t be pitied by the very man who was causing all of this.

With a chuckle, he pulled a rolling stool over to sit like it was just another fucking day of endless meetings.  Lifting your head up to glare at him, your chest seized, breath hitching, because you could see his shoulders, neck, and face between your spread thighs.  

Kylo please...

Maybe it's what he thought you were begging for because the Force slid over you like a weighted blanket, pinning you to the table, and you were never so grateful for being relieved of your autonomy.

The doctor turned your head into place and secured a metal brace on your throat, prohibiting any movement.  He applied a foul-smelling ointment to your skin, and you shattered, horrified to your very marrow.

You no longer had eyes, only faucets spewing forth an endless stream of angry, mournful tears.  You tried closing them to staunch the flow because the doctor said you were moving too much, but you couldn't stop your body now. You weren't in control of it anymore. 

The stress response to this terror was unforgiving, and you thought it might never end.  He was going to have to cut you open from ear to ear because stopping the chatter of your teeth and the rattling of your shoulders and chest was simply not within your power.

Your fingers uncurled, reaching for Ren even though you knew he would never offer you this comfort.

Instead, warmth pooled around your breasts, licking up your sternum, and you drew in a tremulous breath. The Force that held you in place lavished attention upon your torso, cupping, massaging, and squeezing your breasts together. Warm and wet nipped at the hard peaks, and your calves flexed in response. 

“Quiet now.”

Ren's voice was even, demanding.  He had indulged your fear long enough, and it was now time to obey.  You concentrated on the invisible hand tugging your breasts into an aching throb and reminded yourself to wiggle your toes and fingers.  Your lips quivered on every exhale, but you were trying so hard to keep yourself together. 

You knew how to process pain, but this affliction could hardly be classified as pain.

As the doctor set to his task, you felt pressure at your neck but not the sting of the scalpel.  Ren seemed to want that sensation only for himself, and you conjured the image of him painted with your blood, preferring the memory of beautiful torture to this reality of sanitized mistreatment.

The doctor, asking Ren something you didn't catch, stuck his fucking fingers into your throat, and your panic kicked back up. You jerked against the stirrups, and your lips curled into a snarl, readying to shout curses at this man, consequences be damned.

Shushing you, Ren dipped his face between your thighs, and you nearly vaulted off the table when you felt his lips connect with the supple, bruised skin.  His kiss was soft, his lips smooth, and you bristled with ire that he would deny you the sight of him between your legs. 

Alongside the doctor, you cursed him and tightened your hands into angry fists.

He chuckled against you, clearly entertained by your fit.  The sensation at your breasts increased, the rippling heat licking, sucking, and biting at your nipples. The throb bubbled over and spread down your sides, slithering across your stomach.  It was rousing and teasing and distracting, exactly as it was meant to be.

Ren’s mouth traveled from one thigh to the other, and your whole face pinched with the effort to be as silent as possible.  It was clear that any noise you made, any vibration in your throat, would do more damage and prolong this bastardized treatment.

He didn’t want you to damage his property with your foolishness, you realized.

He murmured an agreement to the thought and kissed up the insides of both legs, sucked on his bruises, and nipped at the highest point of your thighs.  Your insides pooled, and he dipped his thumb into the wetness building for him, tugging ever so gently upon the weeping slit.

The doctor reached across your body to the tray that held the destroyed helmet, but you were too wrapped up in Ren’s wicked scheme to notice him plundering the debris for a specific part. The tension in your legs and hips had lessened under his mouth, and your vulnerable thighs had dropped further apart.

Abruptly, the pressure of the Force increased upon your entire body, and you were unnerved all over again because what was coming next surely was worse than what you’d already endured if he needed to hold you down more.

You sniffled through your fear but poured every ounce of brute determination into remaining calm, to keep yourself still and under some measure of composure.  You weren’t sure if he was speaking aloud or in your head, but you heard Ren praising you for how well you were doing, how beautiful and strong you were to endure this for him.

As though you had any choice in the matter.

When his lips connected with your cunt, you thought you would certainly swallow whatever the doctor was lodging into your neck.  You could feel the pressure more insistently now as he crammed or screwed or stitched whatever the fuck it was he was doing.  

Ren kissed and sucked upon your stretched labia; the sounds lewd and consuming. He plucked each stitch with his tongue, and you thought you were going to lose your mind.  You could feel every tight tug followed by the warm flat of his tongue gliding up the length of the vicious seam.

You marveled at how easily this man could conjure new tortures, how simple it was for him to corrupt something so mundane and turn it into exquisite torment.

Master of the Knights of Ren, indeed...

You cursed him again for taking away any hint of pleasure you might eke out from this whole experience.  It was barbarous and merciless to lay his mouth upon you like this and prevent you from actually feeling it, enjoying it.  It was the pinnacle of painful foreplay, and you hated him for it.  

You hated the doctor for being a party to this whole fucking thing. You hated everyone on this ship for bowing to the tantrums of a Child God, and you promised yourself you’d murder Supreme Fucking Leader Snoke himself for creating such a beast.

Ren bit into your thigh harshly at that last thought, directly into the center of the deep bruise, and your toes curled tight.  That mark certainly went down to the bone and would likely scar, little indentations from his teeth puckering more each time he revictimized the area. 

Kylo...

Sweat broke across your brow, and a feverish tremble began as your body tried to deal with the absurd number of sensations warring inside.

The doctor pushed his tray away and told you both that he would need to test the calibration before he could close the window. You blinked up at his masked face in confusion.  Test the calibration of what? How were you meant to do that, exactly?

Ren stood and you jerked at the brush of his body.  You could feel him rustling, but it was driving you mad that you couldn’t see what he was doing.  He hooked his thumbs into the very tops of your thighs and tugged the opening of your vagina just slightly wider. The stitches strained, and you whimpered, unable to contain it any longer.

Your eyes flew wide open because the sound was strange, louder, reverberating.

The swollen head of Ren’s cock nudged at your entrance, and you knew your heart was going to explode from your chest.  He’d been working you, tinkering with those fucking puppet strings, to flood your pussy and make it ready for him; and like a damn fool, you’d given him exactly what you wanted.

You burned with humiliation and ragged desire as he pushed in, breaking the seal and stretching your cunt into something pliable for his sizable dick.  It was endless, the sting and scorch of each inch, and you wanted to beg that he please just let you reach for him. It was all becoming too much, and you were disjointed, disconnected from everything.

Ren pushed and leaned into you until he was fully seated, pulsing at the very center of your body. You could feel every throb, every carnal twitch.  Ren was fucking you from both ends, his dick stuffed far into your pussy and his depraved will stuffed down deep into your neck. The very idea of it sent you into a spiral.

“Fuck, that’s tight,” he groaned, voice gravelly. “Relax, puppet. Open for me.”

Kylo, not like this...

You were truly his object, denied any relief from his harassment or any pleasure at his hand.  Digging his fingers into your hips, he began a slow, thorough stroke, pulling nearly all the way out only to plunge back down to the hilt.

“Out loud, girl.”

Your head ticked, a screaming internal alarm preventing you from shaking it outright, because you couldn’t do it; you could not obey this order.  You couldn’t even remember the sound of your own voice, and you didn’t want to mourn something you couldn’t recall. You also didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.

Fuck you...

Ren’s hips thrust harder into you, though, and you yelped. The high-pitched fabricated sound shocked you, and you trailed it with a hiccup, breath catching on the implications of this new reality.

“Lower,” Ren nodded to the doctor, who adjusted the implant in your throat.

You seethed.  He was tailoring the sound of your voice to his fucking preference, and you thought you surely would rip the damned thing out of your neck if you had your hands free. 

Dissatisfied with your reaction to his steady pace, Ren rutted into you stubbornly, fucking you with more force.  Your ire fizzled, the anger dribbling out of your cunt on a steady trickle of hot slick. He stretched you, and you moaned at the fullness of it.  You desperately wanted to arch and rock your hips against him, but you were completely paralyzed, not even given room to wiggle.

“Kylo. Fuck. Please.”

He all but purred at the modulated sound of your voice, the one he’d given you, and rewarded you with a long series of strokes so deep you saw stars.

“Lower,” he ordered, and the doctor moved to his bidding.

“Now, puppet, what’s that mantra of yours?”

Ren’s cunning was staggering.  He was demanding the only thing that had allowed you to survive him.  Your throat burned, tingling around the foreign implant, and you swallowed, trying to moisten the metal. Sniffling, you cleared your throat, focusing on the task you’d been given and not the ruthless invasion of your pussy.

Taking as deep of a breath as you could, you concentrated on making the sound as even as possible.

“In...suffering...there...is...beauty.”

“That’s right,” he praised you and then nodded to the surgeon. “That’s it.”

Having gotten what he wanted, Ren bent over you and nipped at your stomach before tucking himself back into his pants.  In moments, the doctor had your throat stitched up, a Bacta patch applied, and was giving instructions to Ren about no solid food for 24 hours, watch for infection, and apply Bacta as needed.  

He also advised that you should be silent for the next 24 hours due to inflammation but that he understood if something happened to prevent that.

You narrowed your eyes at the ceiling when he said it because of fucking course something was going to prevent that.  Curling your hands into fists again, you renewed your vow to slaughter every soul on this ship.

With the doctor gone, the Force hold you’d been kept under released, and you shot upwards to confront Ren.  This wasn’t fear or flight; this was anger and malice. 

You slammed both fists into his chest and shoved.  Pressing your lips into a hard line, you jammed your knee in between your body and his, intent upon sprinting past him and away from here, from him.

Jerking your legs back apart, he stepped in and wrapped his massive hand around your throat, burning you with his gaze and squeezing you back into muted compliance.  Satisfied you would be still, he wrapped you tight into his chest, fingers still stroking your throat.  

Shock and absolute fury coiled into the pit of your stomach, and you just sat, boiling in your hatred that he could so easily disfigure you and, then, so easily divest you of your rage.

The severity of what he’d done registered, and panicked spikes drove into your heart. You quaked anew, tears spilling, and you dug your fingers into the shirt at the small of his back.

What did you do…

“Out loud,” he pressed, voice endearing as he brushed your tears away.

Licking your lips, you stared at him for a long moment, eyes glossy.  Ren waited patiently as you gathered the fortitude to obey. Even he seemed to understand this was a lot to take in.

“What did you do?” You whispered it, the haunted voice faltering, betraying the depth of your despair.

He hummed hungry delight against your jaw.  Using the leverage he always seemed to have at your neck, Ren turned your head for you to take in the broken bits of his helmet on the tray.  In the vortex of fear and lust and terror, you’d completely forgotten it had been there at all.

“This voice,” he breathed the words out, stroking the bandage, “is mine.”

You gaped at him, eyes swiveling from the tray to his face and back.  It broke over you like lightning. He had taken the modulator from his helmet and had it implanted in your throat.

Ren dropped his head into your neck again and sucked a mark into the skin. You were too frozen to respond, your back rigid but your arms and legs hanging limp and useless.

“This body,” he said into your neck, “is mine.”

Slithering his hands between your bodies, he pushed your thighs apart wide and ran his fingers up the plump seam.  You shuddered, feeling the pulse of your sequestered clit battering against the wall that should not be there.

“This pussy,” he bit at your jaw, “is mine.”

He had succeeded in reducing you to a nameless doll, a puppet tailored exactly to his liking for his entertainment and use.  You were dazed, thunderstruck, and empty. He had put you through absolute hell today, and you weren’t capable of filtering your thoughts, now words, anymore.

You were past the point where you could even care if he punished you for insolence.

“Why did you stay with me?”

The question startled you more than the alien sound of your new voice.  You managed to look at him and concentrated on his alluring freckles. You searched his starry eyes for something to latch onto, something that would tie you here.

You had no childish thoughts of love or support.  But right now, having borne the brunt of so much of his persecution, you needed something.  

One question, though, led to more, and they began to spill from your lips on this new capability.

“Why didn’t you kill me? I was ready, and I would have gladly given you that. Why did you need to do this to me?  You were already in my head, listening.”

Your ire and emotion were rising, the mechanical undertone in your voice lifting in pitch. You blinked, really truly trying to understand the whims of a mad man. 

“What difference is there between me screaming in my head and screaming out loud? Why couldn’t you just leave me the way I was? I was surviving your punishment just fine without this unnatural, bastard tongue!”

You fisted both hands into his shirt and pounded against the chest beneath. Your lips wobbled, and you tipped your head back, furious at the tears that wouldn’t fucking stop.

You had learned to survive without a voice.  The silence you offered the universe became your salvation, your solace.  People expected nothing of you when they knew you couldn't speak, and you’d used it to strengthen yourself, to fortify your will to endure and withstand all manner of ego and abuse.

Frantic, you settled on the most important question, the one that you needed answered.

“Why did you do this to me?”

Ren captured your face in both hands and smothered your tirade with a kiss. His beautiful pink lips slanted over yours, and you melted against his mouth.  He sucked at your lower lip, licked the roof of your mouth, and slid his tongue against yours until you were breathless and squirming.

He curled your limbs around his shoulders and waist and carried you around the side of the table.  Setting you down, he plucked the scalpel from the tray, his hands disappearing between your legs. You whimpered and scooted backwards, but he hooked a hand beneath your knee and pulled you back into place.

“I did this,” he cut one of the sutures, “to focus your attention away from the procedure."

“Is that not…” he nipped at your pulse, “...merciful?”

He made quick work of the remaining sutures, slicing through them and pulling the remnants away. You whined, head lolling, as your freed labia parted, blood beginning to redistribute to the abused skin and shooting pins and needles into your cunt.  He followed the sharp stings with his thumb, rubbing between the swollen folds until you gasped and tipped your pelvis into his touch.

Tugging you against his body, Ren ground his erection between your tender lips.  You moaned low, the sound warbled, wanton, and needy, and he captured it with a deep kiss, swallowing on a growl.

He tore at his own clothes, freed his swollen cock, and pushed inside of you, not bothering to be gentle. Your eyebrows drew together tight at the invasion, the time between the first fucking and this one having been enough for your body to re-acclimate to his absence.  

Sinking your teeth into your lip, you lifted your hips to his assault because the utter completion you felt was too good to resist.

“And I did..fuck…,” he faltered, bottoming out into your tight heat; “...I did this,” he dipped his face down and licked the bandage, the only truly new scar he’d ever given you; “...so that you would remember,” his breath was broken now, his voice ragged with lust; “...that every sound you make belongs to me.”

You held tightly to his back, hugging his sides with your legs, and trying your damnedest to stay here in this moment.  The second adrenaline crash of the day threatened to consume you, but you fought against it because the man who’d teased you for a week had his dick so far inside you that you thought you could taste it. 

You were desperate for this bliss, whining in raw need, and you shuddered when he rocked your body against his in the manner and tempo he liked, large fingers splayed across your ass and moving you to his pleasure. Your tortured cunt clenched and all but sucked his dick in deep.   

You cried out, feeling the lines between you as a person and you as Ren’s personal fucktoy bleed together.  Your whole body contracted, squeezing him hard and coming absolutely alive under his thumb. You clung to his back like he was your own personal savior.

Stretching long fingers around your neck, Ren lifted your face and forced you to look, always wanting to watch you agonize for him.  The now-familiar warm sensation blossomed at your clit, and your eyes fluttered shut on a loud moan. He shook you until your eyes opened again, demanding your stare.

“You’re no victim," he sneered.

He punched himself so far into your cunt that you felt the nudge at your cervix and erupted into an echoing shriek. The Force engulfed your clit, every single one of the thousands of nerves swarmed by the hot vibration and spreading a delicious jolt up through your abdomen.

“You’re a depraved, filthy thing,” he dug his nails into your jaw, “and your body was made for me.”

You couldn’t look away, couldn’t shake your head or disagree.  Accepting that hard truth on your behalf, your pussy flooded him with a new surge of molten slip, and he growled possessively.  He licked at your mouth and squeezed your neck tighter. The pressure arched you into his chest and set your cunt to clutching feverishly.

“See? Not happy unless you’re being hurt.”

Pressing into the veins below your jaw, he stunted the flow of blood to your brain, sending you into floating oblivion.  You convulsed against him, the jerk of your body trying to fight off unconsciousness drawing a hungry moan from your captor.  The suction at your clit intensified, and you begged, lips working on impotent words, breath choppy, and fingers clamoring and raking against his biceps.

You were nothing but a vibrating mess, well-fucked and wholly obliterated by his embrace as he choked and ravaged your body. The stab of his dick was relentless, and you were very nearly gone, your eyes glazing over, eyelids heavy. 

“Cum for me, puppet. Show me how much you like it."

He dipped his mouth to your ear, voice commanding, dripping with derision and desire.  Shifting his fingers, he allowed blood to rush back into your dizzy head, and you gasped hard.  Married with the hot pressure at your clit and the pistoning of his cock, you seized in deference to his order.

Your entire body shrunk into a tight ball against him, knees drawing up high, ankles hugging at his back.  Your fingers and toes curled, your legs and arms shook, and your abdomen and ass clenched hard and tight. 

The orgasm blew through you like a comet, and everything loosened on a series of soul-shattering quakes.

You shouted and wailed, the altered, digital howl sounding almost like it truly belonged to you.  Your cunt spasmed, alternating between trying to push Ren’s invading cock out and trying to draw it further and further in.

You were drowning in euphoria, endorphins, and emotions, and you had no protection, no wall with which to keep everything at bay.  Every single thing Ren had done, was doing, roiled through you and radiated off of your body dangerously, and he was caught in the blast zone.

“Fuck..fuck..FUCK!”

His hands dug caverns into the meat of your ass, fingernails leaving crescent trenches. He bit into the side of your neck, buried himself as far into you as he could, and emptied his cock into the flood you were offering him.

Three more thrusts pushed his seed in deep, and he moaned, low and liquid, into your skin while bucking through his orgasm.  You were barely clinging to consciousness, weak and overwhelmed by the events of the afternoon, the day, the week.

For the third time today, Ren held you, stroking your back until your mind came back to your body.  When you lifted your head, he leaned back, taking in your mottled cheeks, swollen mouth, and glassy eyes.  

“Open.”

He lifted his hand to your mouth and purred when it opened for him naturally.  He hooked his thumb into your teeth, just the way you liked, and you shifted against him, leaking all manner of bodily fluids onto the table.

You hadn't hesitated at all, too sated to bristle that it was beneath you or too eager for whatever demeaning paradise he was willing to offer.  

He held your jaw right there, thumb playing with the inside of your teeth.  He was looking at you as though he was ready to bathe in your blood again, and you weren’t sure that you wouldn’t let him. His eyes were dark and nefarious and hypnotic.

What he did next was so unexpectedly obscene that you choked.  He tilted your head back and spat into your mouth, watching his saliva pool on your tongue.

Your body’s reaction was immediate, suffused with want and something you might later identify as pride. Your fingers tightened into his shirt, and your chest arched up into him. You let loose a low sound that even you didn’t even recognize, and your hips rocked beseechingly against him.

“You belong to me,” he said, watching the bubbles slide down your throat. “This is the last time I'll explain myself to you."

He allowed you to close your mouth, and you stared at him, awed and searching.  Before you could second guess yourself, you curled his trembling fingers around your throat, swallowing beneath the grip.

If this was the closest you would ever get to an intimate gesture, you needed it now more than you needed oxygen.

Satisfied for the moment, Ren squeezed your neck and rubbed his nose against yours. 

Too soon, the moment ended, and Ren grasped your hips and lifted you off of his dick with a low groan.  You watched openly as he tucked himself away and righted his clothing. You flushed, pleased at the idea that he was going to spend the rest of today with your cunt lingering on his dick.

You blinked at the thought, troubled at the ease with which you joined him in such vulgarity.

Your reverie was interrupted by a slender man in all black walking into the room uninvited and unannounced.  Ren’s head shot up on a snarl, and he reached out to wind that unfortunate soul into the Force and lift him off of his feet.  

You tiredly glanced over at Ren’s newest victim, surprised by his bright red hair. Knowing better than to interfere, you simply looked from Ren to this intruder, wondering how long it would be before one of them spoke.

“The...Supreme...Leader...demands...your………………...presence!”

Ren released his hold, and the uniformed man hit the ground with a crash, scrambling back out into the hallway.  Bending down, he scooped up your black pants and handed them to you. 

Ren's gaze hardened considerably, and you were amazed at how dark became void in his eyes. Reaching back to the tray, he grabbed the scalpel, broke off the blade, and lifted it to your mouth.

“If he tries to hurt you or move you,” his voice was dangerously low, and your eyes flitted around his arm to the door, “get away. Find the Knights of Ren.”

The questions played across your face, and your brow knit. Were you in danger?  Why were you in danger? You leaned forward, meaning to ask, but he shook his head, instructing you back to silence.  You sat up straighter, concerned and more alert.

“That voice is for me, only.”

Understanding, you parted your lips and accepted the weapon, moving it with your tongue and tucking it into the roof of your mouth.  Ren's battle face changed for just a second, his beautiful lips turning up into a smirk, knowing full well this wasn’t the first time you’d had to hide a blade.

You accepted that he would push you until you broke for him, over and over, but it satisfied you to no end that he wasn’t prepared to allow anyone else to harm you.  That pleasure was afforded to him alone in the Galaxy.  

“Hux!” He barked it out, and the man, who was still rubbing his tender throat, turned into the room to look.

“You will personally deliver her back to my chambers.”

Ren didn’t waste time asking if the man understood his instructions.  He would be obeyed, or someone would die. In seconds, he had collected the remnants of his helmet and was gone from the room.  

You sagged, feeling like the universe was somehow less bright without the scorch of his presence. Stuffing your aching, wobbly legs into the black linen, you cautiously descended from the surgical table and righted the material over your hips.  

Turning, you faced your new escort, whose name was apparently Hux, and gestured for him to lead on.