#n shadow’s like ‘no tf we’re not’ but she doesn’t listen

[pacifistcowboy]

I have to know: are cowboy, rollerskating and wandering musician in some kind of trio together? you cant just list those three things like this, its too close to a walks into the bar joke!

LMAO unfortunately they weren’t even intended on ever meeting!!! they were the first three sonic ocs i ever made which was like only in may, n that was before i suddenly got obsessed with makin’ the sol dimension ocs. so now i just have three random-ass ocs that have no connection to anything

now i wish they were a trio tho sjfjwjfje the roller-skater n wandering musician would probably get along ‘cause they’re both just there to have a good time n can’t fight, but the cowboy isn’t a fan of kids n they fight bad guys/whoever they get paid to fight for a living, so they’d probably hate the other two lmaodjsjf

[sorryimanon]

Pairings: Bakugou Katsuki x fem!Reader, Izuku Midoriya x NB!Reader

Warnings: some angst, FLUFF, and our boys being the best boys.

In which they comfort you after a rough day or week

A/N: im sorry if Izukus section is shorter than Bakugou’s. trying to practice writing other characters. enjoy!

Saturday's are reserved strictly by the majority of the girls from class 1-A, leaving the guys to hibernate inside their dorms as they allow the commencement of girls night. You've never rain checked nor rejected the idea of spending  quality time with your friends, considering all the tribe's and trepidation's everyone has endured together during their time at the academy. It's nice to just strip away the stress and dip your toes in pure relaxation.

Unfortunately, you woke up with a bad case of cloudy thoughts. For the past week you've been carrying the weight of dread, causing your mood to drastically change throughout the day. You'd be having a civil conversation with someone one minute and then the next minute you're completely irritated by their presence. You've tried to balance it out and fix it overnight with the regimes you researched on the internet. A new sleeping schedule, healthier diet, yoga, and even went to the extreme of writing in a journal. It was all so cut throat and prestigious, nothing close to your liking. Katsuki made fun of you for it one day when he snuck into your room and read the many inscriptions in your journal entries.

"This stuff reminds of Deku. Always shoving his nose in that stupid notebook of his," he didn't care much to hear your refutes about Izuku. "Anyways, what's with all this depressing shit you are writing? You don't really feel this way do you?"

You didn't give him a definite answer that day. Only a curt "no" and he resumed rambling about his day like nothing happened, having you listening with his voice like white noise going in one ear and out the other.

And that's how it went on throughout the duration of the prior week before Saturday.

Inside the confinement of your dorm, you made the rational decision to sleep in instead of attending classes. The chilling thoughts kept you up all night, never once allowing sleep to take full throttle. You tossed and turned around on your bed, unable to shut off your brain. So when you woke up in the peak of late afternoon, you weren't surprised to see the unread messages on your phone. All of them were from your explosive boyfriend.

King Explosion🤍: Oi you running late? Mr.Sleepy head is taking roll call

King Explosion🤍: y/n where tf r u?

King Explosion🤍: fine don't answer me ig

King Explosion🤍: are you at least coming down for lunch? i made curry last night and imma make you finish it

King Explosion🤍: fking hurry before dunce face eats it

King Explosion🤍: nvm he ate it 😐

Katsuki never intended for the message to be funny. He's probably blowing actual steams of smoke through his nostrils and ears while chasing kamanari amongst the halls. The comical imagery made you laugh harder. At least he made you crack a smile. You haven't shown any emotions let alone a hint of enthusiasm for tonight.

Maybe it'd be best to sit this one out.

"Hey, we're missing a person! Where's my y/n?" Mina asked after scanning the group of girls huddled around on the carpeted floor.

Momo shifted uncomfortably on the cushioned pillow she stole from the couch. "Y/N said she wasn't feeling too well to join us for tonight. Something about food poisoning and throwing up every hour."

In unison all the girls gasped, along with a concerned 'ribbit' from Tsuyu.

"Well I hope she gets to feeling better. I wouldn't want her to endure such sickness for much longer," Tsuyu croaked out.

Everyone in the circle agreed and promised to pay a visit later in the night to check on you.

On the fourth floor, Katsuki stared blankly at his phone, hands shaking due to the repressed anger he's been holding. Each of the messages he sent previously were all left on read, including the one he sent an hour ago asking if he could have a cuddle session with you before girls night. Yes, even an ill tempered guy such as him enjoys sappy shit like cuddling. After pacing back and forth in his room for a solid 5 minutes, he was now dead set on confronting you in front of your friends.

Katsuki made a beeline for the elevator and aggressively pressed the 1st floor button repeatedly in hopes it'll make the process go quicker. He reached the commons area in precision time, overhearing the girls giggle after someone suggested playing truth or dare. He towered over Uraraka's figure, casting a demonic shadow version of himself in the circle. Hagakure shrieked and clung onto Jirou.

"Where's y/n you extras?" He demanded, voice deafening the brunette under him.

"She didn't come tonight. She's in her dorm room sick," Jirou explained to him as she tried pry the invisible girl off her arm.

"Like hell she's sick!" Katsuki spun around quickly and retreated back to the elevator, mumbling obscenities under his breath. "She's going to pay for being so careless and irresponsible."

The commons room fell silent once the explosive blonde disappeared behind the doors of the elevator, all eyes searching each other in complete shock. Uraraka was the first to speak out of the small group.

“Should we warn y/n that Bakugou is coming for her?”

Jirou averted her gaze to the direction bakugou left off from, a ghost of a smirk spreading on her face.

“Nah. Knowing y/n, she can handle the asshole on her own.”

King Explosion🤍: can i come over? i wanna cuddle, i miss u

The text message kept flashing behind your eyes every-time you closed them - a sad image of Katsuki waiting impatiently for you to reply back with a heart or one of those unusual memes he unapologetically adores. You knew he’d be furious, no doubt about it, but you rationalized your decision and concluded it would be best to avoid your boyfriend like the plague till this undesired feeling dissipates. Katsuki doesn’t do well with people being emotional, let alone handle his own emotions for god’s sake.

Your own thoughts were interrupted by someone raping the outside of your door. The continuous knocks made your head spin, a painful sting ghosting back and forth between your eyes. Remembering back to an hour ago, you messaged one of the girls that you weren’t going to make it to tonight’s session. Surely they respected your wishes and continued on with their hangout? But you forgot about the one person who’s persistent and stubborn like a cat.

“I know you’re in there y/n! You may have fooled your idiotic friends with a lie, but you keep on forgetting you’re terrible at lying!” Katsuki hollers against the wood of the door, not once being considerate of those living above her.

He’s right. You’re absolutely horrible at making up excuses for yourself. Dating someone as intuitive as him will be the death of you.

“If there’s something going can you at least let me in? You can’t ignore me forever y/n.”

Again, he’s right.

You slipped out from the comfort of your bed and padded towards the door, mentally preparing for the blonde to scold you once he enters your room. What you weren’t prepared for was the tears swelling up in the ducts of his vermillion eyes - his hands clenched tightly into fists as he looked down at you. Your breathing hitched when his arm outstretched to rest on the door frame to keep his trembling body steady.

“What the hell y/n? Why the fuck have you been ignoring me?! Did I do something wrong?!” He asked, not caring about his current appearance.

You grab ahold of his other arm and absentmindedly started rubbing it affectionately, trying to coax him into calming down. “Katsuki no! You didn’t do anything wrong! Why would you think that?”

“Because dumbass, you’ve been distant this past week,” he paused, choking on his words. “Are...are you breaking up with me?”

Your eyes shot up instantly at his horrifying assumption. “Katsuki, if I tell you the truth, will you promise not to make things worse for me?”

He tilted his head in confusion, but nodded once you led him into your messy bedroom. Once inside, your boyfriend plopped down on your bed, watching intently as you anxiously bit down on your nails - a nervous habit you picked up at the beginning of the school year.

“I’ve been feeling weird lately. Ever since the beginning of last week. I don’t know how to describe it but, my brain is constantly feeding into my already negative state. Telling me things I know aren’t true but I’ve convinced myself they are. Almost as if a grey cloud is hovering above me,” tears were already starting to pour down your cheeks. “I just...I just feel so miserable and lonely and useless and irritated and- I’m so sorry for ignoring you. You probably want nothing to do with me after this!”

You manage to turn away from the sight of the blonde during your speech, ashamed of pouring out your emotions onto a person who disregards other peoples emotions and constitutes them as a quote on quote “pussy”.

From behind, you can hear faint shuffling nearing your already shaken up figure. A pair of muscular arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you into a wall that could only be described as his own chiseled chest, doing the same as you did moments ago with his arm - lulling you to calm down a notch before he stared speaking.

“If you been feeling this way, why lie when I asked you a few days ago after reading your journal?”

“I know how you are, Katsuki. You get very uncomfortable when people talk about their feelings. So, why should I be any different?”

Your boyfriend suddenly maneuvers you around in the circle of his arms, shifting to where you’re now making direct eye contact with him. His gaze intense and unwavering.

“Because you’re my girlfriend? I don’t give a rats ass about any of these extras. When it comes to you, I’d make an exception for. I made that promise to myself when we first started seeing each other. So don’t think for a second that I’ll disregard your true feelings, dumbass.” He stepped a couple of inches backwards, ankles eventually hitting the bottom of your bed - making him fall and dragging you along with him. You landed on top of him, head still buried in the depths of his hard chest. The vibrations of his chuckle shook your whole body. Katsuki gently titled your head to be leveled with his, a red tint of blush painting his pallid cheeks.

“I’m being serious though. Don’t be afraid to come to me when things get tough, okay? I love you too much to see you like this.”

Next thing you knew your boyfriend stole your breath away by meshing his plump lips onto yours, hands snaking their way into your hair and carefully massaging it. By all means, you let him have his way with you by kissing the sadness away, tears puddling together cheek on cheek.

He let go eventually, pecking a quick chaste kiss on the side of your mouth before hauling you further into the bed. You settled on letting him spoon you, knowing how much he likes the feeling of your backside pressed against him, and the fruity aroma of your hair infiltrating his senses.

“I promise Katsuki,” you said after some time during the cuddle session.

He shifted in his spot, head placed firmly in the crook of your neck. “Promise what?”

“That I’ll come to you when these thoughts return again. I should trust you by now, and I need to not let these emotions ruin everything in my life. I love you that much.

Your confession swelled the very last evidence of Katsuki being a human being, his heart.

He smiled weakly to himself and nuzzled more into your shoulder, brushing his warm lips against the tender skin. “You better, dumbass.”

-

Today was just so exhausting, and the big fat 'D-‘ written in red ink on your final report was the icing on the cake. To make things even worse, Aizawa reminded the whole class before the exam that this was to determine wether or not if you'll be joining the training camp that'll commence the following winter break.

Hopefully this was one of your teacher's terrible deception tactics into making everyone do their absolute best, go plus ultra even. But to your dismay, he was indeed very serious of the matter this time.

It wasn't your fault, not entirely. You stayed up all night listening to another one of your boyfriends rambles, the conversation lasting till 2 am. Izuku grew worrisome and anxious ever since his encounter with a gruesome villain, thus resulting in him to pour his emotions out onto you. Poor baby kept mentioning the safety of All Might and you.

Solemnly, you left class and trailed back to your dorm room, wanting to ignore the jovial atmosphere inside the cramped room as everyone traded and talked about their scores.

Izuku noticed you leaving abruptly and got up from his desk to follow you behind, bidding a quick goodbye to his friends.

Your room was dark and dramatically colder than usual, a trickle of light threatening to pour in from the cascading sunset. You laid down on your stomach with one of your pillows propped on your head, in hopes to shield away anyone from seeing your ugly-crying face.

Too late because Izuku was already standing outside your dorm room, swaying back and forth on his feet while biting down harshly on his lip. He can hear your soft cries seeping through the door. He doesn't know why he's hesitating, he's your boyfriend after all.

Moments later you hear the acute sounds of someone knocking on your door, followed by the soft spoken voice of your green haired boyfriend.

"Baby? Can I come in? I-If that's okay with you I m-mean! It's alright if you need some space but you left class so early I figured something happened to you and I got really worried because you always wait for Iida and uraraka to walk us back to the dorms as a group and maybe it had something to do with what I was telling you last night-."

You crack the door just a smidge before fully opening it, revealing your bloodshot eyes and tear stained shirt to him. His breathing hitched once his eyes fixated on your disheveled state. 

"Can you comfort me? I need you right now Izuku," your voice cracked a little, throat still tight after the crying session.

His strong, lean arms wrapped around your body momentarily, encasing you into a bear hug. Hugs from Izuku were amazing, no exceptions. He placed a quick peck on the crown of your forehead.

"C'mon, let's get inside and snuggle. How does that sound?" he asked as he unwrapped himself and took your trembling hand, leading you back inside the dimly lit room.

Izuku laid you gently down on your side once reaching the bed, crawling alongside with you before  draping the covers over the both of you. His familiar hands snake around your waist and nudges you to roll over. You obliged and shifted your body to face his, sparkly green eyes staring straight at you.

"Tell me, what's wrong baby? Does it have to do with the recent exam?" his thumb started tracing delicate lines on your hips, your uniform long gone and now replaced with comfortable clothes instead.

"I failed Izuku...I did so terrible on the written exam. I kept falling in and out of sleep during the test that I didn't have time to finish the middle portion of it," you exhaled a shaky breath. "Who knows what'll happen on the practical. I'll probably fail that too...I'm such a failure compared to everyone."

Izuku grabbed the tender flesh of your cheeks and directed your vision to level with his. He looked angry and concerned.

"Don't say that y/n! You're not a failure! That exam doesn't determine wether or not if you're good enough to be a hero. I've seen you in action hun, and I know for a fact that you're possibly the most strongest person I've met in my lifetime! You're ambitious, smart, determined, and so freaking beautiful." He then kissed you tenderly on the lips, his eyes closing slightly due to the contact.

"So...freaking...beautiful." He whispers against your mouth.

His sentimental words were enough for you to push back the negativity and simply enjoy the intimate moment.

Izuku lifted his head away from your face to rest it against your temple. "You're going to do great things, okay? One failing grade isn't going to be the end of the world. Trust me sweetheart, I've had my fair share in failures during our time here in Yuuei. But look at me now, still standing."

You nuzzled more into his chest, tickling his chin with your hair. Faintly, you can hear the pitter patter of his heart beat bursting through his rib cage.

"Would you love me even if I was a horrendous looking-failure?" you were clearly teasing him, but sometimes Izuku became dense when it came to that.

"Y/n! W-Why would you ask that! Of course I would you dummy! I'd love you no matter what."

This time you return the favor and kiss him, knowing how to easily fluster him in seconds. He whimpers into your mouth at the sudden contact and cups your jawline affectionately.

The two of you stayed like that till the moon shone through the balcony curtains, illuminating your skin in a dusty glow.

Lips bruised and swollen red, you laid lifelessly in his arms, letting him wove his scarred fingers through your hair. Izuku would occasionally stop to peck your lips, then resumes his attention back to your hair.

"I'm sorry by the way. I shouldn't have kept you up last night before the exam. I'm such a horrible boyfriend..." he admitted suddenly.

"Yes. Yes you are."

He gasped and stopped his movements altogether, obviously taken aback by your blunt words.

You giggled and said, "Kidding. You're the best boyfriend. Apology accepted.”

After hearing that, Izuku shoved himself onto your chest and let out muffled cry. "D-Don't scare me like that. Almost made me have a heart a-attack!"

[artificialqueens]

party chapter nine - shalaska - purecAMP

A/N - the shit biscuit is back with more of this crap! Hope you like it!! <3

tw for the usual drug talk, i guess

Miracles are a peculiar thing, really. By definition, a miracle is as follows; an extraordinary and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is therefore attributed to a divine agency. So miracles really are some of the strangest phenomenons to exist.

Alaska didn’t exactly agree with that definition. Miracles are extraordinary and welcome, of course, but anything can be explained by nature and science. It would be foolish of her to try and pretend that anything regarding Sharon was attributed to a “divine agency”, that was for sure. The only thing divine about Sharon was the drag queen she admired so much. Perhaps it wasn’t a miracle, after all.

Even so, Alaska’s heart soared. It wasn’t a miracle. It wasn’t a grandiose, heart-stopping shower of sparkles and euphoria and bright colours that lit up the room in flashes like some ungodly angelic nightmare. Nothing like that at all. But what it was happened to be even better. A cough.

“D-Did you hear that?” Alaska stuttered, her voice hardly working.

Michelle’s hand instantly grabbed her wrist, holding it in a vice grip. Her face turned urgent as she locked eyes with Alaska, a mixture of hope and terror mingling across her features.

“I did. Was that-”

“-A cough? I think-”

“-It has to have bee-”

“-Do you think she’s-”

“-Going to…?”

Neither of them could finish a sentence, rushing only to complete the fragments of the other’s.  Alaska’s breath came in short, sharp pants. Come on, Sharon. Come on.

Her gaze wandered down. Still as ghostly white and lifeless as before, Sharon lay in the gurney with her eyes shut and her lips parted. Garish purple veins decorated her eyelids as if they were straining to stay closed. Admittedly, her hopes had risen far too high considering their situation, thinking Sharon was going to open her eyes and be perfectly fine. The queen was in fact looking sicker than ever, the pale-white sheen of her skin transforming into a waxen, almost bluish shade. Her cheeks were hollow and sunken, with the shadows that usually resided underneath her eyes darker than ever before. The sight was grim but bewitching.

She didn’t look any closer to waking than dying. Alaska’s heart sank, and she slumped back down into her chair, wrenching her hand from Michelle’s grasp in order to clutch at Sharon’s cold fingers once again.

“Nope.” Alaska sighed. “She doesn’t look like she’s gonna wake up. She looks like she’s gonna fucking die.”

Before Michelle could answer, the nurse entered the room, her shoes squeaking on the polished linoleum as she busied herself with putting on rubber gloves. Her head turned towards Alaska as she spoke the last few words, and she shot a sympathetic smile their way as she approached.

“This one has been causing us a lot of trouble, he really has.” She said, almost fondly, cocking her head to the side as she looked at Sharon. “Your boyfriend, correct?”

Alaska remembered her lie with a pang, and nodded. “Y-Yeah.” She stammered. “Is he okay?”

It seemed like a dumb question, considering that Sharon lay in front of them looking anything but okay, but she still itched to know what was going on. Why Michelle had phoned in a panic and they’d sat waiting for hours on Christmas Eve listening to footsteps squeaking, doctors talking furtively and monitors beeping and flashing. If Sharon was going to pull through or if she should stop the surmounting hope that came with every shallow breath Sharon breathed.

The nurse watched her for a minute. “I suppose I can tell you two, you’re family…”

She paused. “He’s clearly been through a lot. His body was rejecting everything we gave him, we were convinced at one point that his liver would fail but luckily we sorted that issue, and…” The nurse faltered, like she didn’t want to break any news to them. “He went into respiratory arrest last night.”

Alaska closed her eyes. As if this could get any worse. At least she’s still here. But she’s not making things fucking easy for herself. If she dies, I really am going to kill her. She can’t do this to me. She can’t do this to herself. She can’t do this to her fans. It isn’t fair.

“-fluids, it’s fairly common…” The nurse was saying, but only Michelle was paying attention. The older woman nodded along, fully aware Alaska was lost in her own thoughts again. “…cough, but it seems unlikely that-”

It sounded again. Sharon’s chest juddered, a slight movement that wouldn’t have been noticed if it hadn’t been for Alaska’s hand, which had moved from holding Sharon’s limp fingers to resting on her skinny torso. Underneath the oxygen mask, her lips parted. Ever so slightly, her eyelashes fluttered.

“He just coughed.” Alaska stated, pushing down the excitement that rose inside her to try and maintain a calm exterior. Inside, she bristled with excitement. “He jus-”

Sharon coughed again, louder this time. Her eyelashes fluttered once more, and her eyebrows knitted together. Michelle grabbed Alaska’s arm, her head twisting instantly to face the nurse.

“That-”

Then all of a sudden, like magic, those shocking blue eyes blinked once, twice, fringed by those heavy dark lashes, and then they were darting around the room to try and familiarise their surroundings, and Alaska’s own eyes were wet with tears.

“Oh my god, Aaron.” Michelle breathed. Alaska sniffed, unable to formulate the words to describe how she felt. She just stared down at Sharon – Sharon, who was awake – and wiped at her tears, rubbing her skin raw with how often she’d cried.

Sharon’s eyes moved between the two, watching Michelle’s trembling lip and Alaska’s tears, and then she looked down. With a jolt, Alaska recognised that expression. Guilt. Shame. Sharon couldn’t bear to even look them in the eyes.

“Oh, he’s awake! Doctor Matt, can we get…”

Once again they were ushered out, with promises that they’d be allowed back in just a few minutes after they’d done some routine tests spilling over their apologetic lips. Tears still pouring down her face, Alaska sank down into the plastic chair she’d grown oh so familiar with and cried into Michelle’s shoulder.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.” She murmured inaudibly. “Sharon’s alive.”

Michelle nodded. “We should tell the others.”

Alaska wasted no time at all, eager to make the situation feel even more real. Desperate to prove it wasn’t a dream torturing her as she slept.

Alaska: you bitches better text me back right now, urgent

Courtney: yes ma’am

Willam: tf is going on?

Alaska: guess who just woke up

Willam: Michelle

Courtney: Willam, don’t be a dick and use your brain

Willam: …

Willam: OH

Willam: SHARON?!

Alaska: SHE JUST FUCKING WOKE UP

Courtney: I JUST BURST INTO TEARS

Willam: ME TOO WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

Willam: EMOTIONS ARE FOR UGLY PEOPLE

Courtney: WE’RE ALL UGLY TODAY

Alaska: i gtg, we’re going back in now

Alaska: anus

Willam: and that’s how we know Alaska is back

Courtney: love you girl x

The nurses left Michelle and Alaska alone when they walked in, offering small smiles in their direction as they passed. Alaska flew to the bedside, clasping Sharon’s hand instantly. The blonde queen refused to look her way, her eyes firmly trained on the wall away from Alaska.

“Sharon.” She managed, rubbing circles into her hand. Sharon closed her eyes and shook her head, her unshed tears glistening. On Alaska’s insistent tone, she faced her and sighed.

“M-” She began, and then frowned. With little regard for the wires and tubes around her, Sharon yanked the oxygen mask from her face and tossed it aside.

“Merry Chris’mas.” She slurred, her voice hoarse. “Nurse told me it’s December 25th.”

Alaska didn’t know what she’d expected. A smile, perhaps. A lighter tone to her voice. The slightest indicator that she was already on her way to a recovery. Instead, Sharon sounded tired and sick, and looked like death warmed up. Guilt was plastered across her face.

“Merry Christmas Sharon. I’m sorry we didn’t do more to help you before it got this ba-” Michelle started.

Sharon cut her off. “Don’t. ‘S my fault and my fault only. I’m a fucking adult.”

“I’m so glad you’re okay. I-I thought…” Alaska trailed off.

Sharon looked upwards, then down at herself, before seemingly forcing herself to look at Alaska. She swallowed nervously before speaking.

“I’m far from okay. I feel like I’ve died again. But… thank you.” She responded. “For not giving up on me.”

Alaska listened intently. “And I have to say, I know exactly why it was said so you don’t need to explain, but…” Sharon looked away. “It sure was nice hearing that my supposed boyfriend is here.”

“Fuck,” Alaska whispered.

“Don’t.” Michelle chastised. “Not now. Not here. This talk needs to happen later.”

Sharon sighed. “I know. I know. Am I not allowed that one happy thought? It’s been less than an hour and I’ve already been tormenting myself knowing I let you both down. K-Knowing that I hurt you.”

Michelle dabbed at her eyes as Alaska took Sharon’s face in both her hands, her fingers gently caressing her cheeks. She’d never get sick of looking at her; especially when that rosy blush spread from Sharon’s neck upwards at her touch. She still looked like shit, but she was so beautiful to Alaska. Sensing the tension, Michelle left on the pretence of fetching drinks, leaving the two queens alone in the hospital room together.

Alaska had had enough time to think of everything was going to say; a soliloquy had practically been written in her head in the agonising hours of waiting she’d endured ever since that fateful night. Yet, when the chance finally came to speak it, she was at a loss. Words tumbled forth anyway, just a stream of blatant honesty and consciousness.

“You… You promised me things would change.” Alaska said. “And when you were passed out, I promised you that no matter what happened to us, I’ll find a way. We’ll find a way. We wasted so much time, Sharon. Look at us.”

She brushed away one of Sharon’s tears with her thumb. “I’m sat here at your hospital bed, having almost lost you without ever trying for a second chance. I almost let you slip between my fingers when we both have so much more to give. The thought that I’d wasted three years of not letting myself love you and then almost losing you… I’m not prepared to deal with that again.”

She paused. “I know you must think I’m crazy. I am. You are too. You’re crazy because you almost fucking died and I’m crazy because it took that for me to realize that if we wait around any longer some other obstacle will try and come between us. We’re not getting any younger, Noodles.”

Sharon smiled at the old nickname.

“I… I’m not saying we should dive right in. I’m not saying I’ll call you my boyfriend or give this a label and be done with it. I’m not saying we have to move in and play happy families and text all the time, not at all. But I love you, and you love me, and I don’t want to waste any more time than we already have. I’m just…”

As she ran out of steam, the oasis of words finally drying up, Sharon squeezed Alaska’s hand with as much force as she could muster, which admittedly wasn’t a lot, and smiled again.

“A cheap transvestite?” She tried for a joke.

Alaska giggled through her tears. “Sharon.”

“A boy-boy who dresses like a girl-girl?”

“Sharon!” Alaska laughed. “I forgot how much I hated you…”

She drew out the last word, emphasising her nasally drawl to pull a reaction from Sharon. She succeeded, the blonde queen shaking feebly as she laughed. Alaska realised their fingers were still entwined.

“We’ve always been dramatic, haven’t we?” Sharon said, almost reminiscing. “Any other queen would have done this shit by now, but us? ‘S always been us. ‘S just our normal at this point.”

“That made zero sense to me.” Alaska said, laughing. “But I think I get what you mean.”

Sharon brushed her off. “Leave me alone, I’ve been out for however long it’s been.”

She took a deep breath, then winced and moved her hand to her chest. “Ow. I should probably put that mask back on, for the sake of my health or some shit.”

“Good idea.” Alaska agreed.

She wasn’t exactly prepared for the conversation to die, but it was nice to sit in a comfortable silence. Rather than hanging over her neck like a dead weight of fear, this silence floated around freely, calmly. It wasn’t punctuated with invasive thoughts about mortality, life, love. It was just the absence of conversation; nothing but Alaska’s quiet breaths and Sharon’s assisted ones as their eyes met. Unlike earlier, Sharon didn’t seem so ashamed to look in her eyes anymore. She stared openly, with no embarrassment, as if she were committing every detail of Alaska’s face to her memory.

Alaska couldn’t describe the thankfulness she felt that this was over. Well, not over. They still had hills to climb, barriers to break down – a few of them being social media, the press, and Sharon’s health. But the main stress of it had disappeared. Sharon was okay. Sharon was alive. Sharon was going to recover.

When her phone rang the first time, she ignored it. The moment they were sharing was too precious to be shattered by her ringtone, but on the second ring Sharon nodded to signal her to answer it.

“Hieee!”

“ALASKA!” The excited voice screamed, so loud that Alaska yanked the phone away from her ear and cringed. Sharon let out something between a cough and a laugh.

“Courtney, hey.” She greeted.

“DON’T FORGET ME!” Willam protested. “I’m here too!”

Alaska chuckled. “Great. I’ll put you on speaker, hold on. What’s up?”

“We wanted to check up on Sharon. And you, too. Willam came over like ten minutes after you texted us and we’ve been having celebratory ice cream. How is she?”

Sharon raised her middle finger.

“She flipped you off.” Alaska responded. “Uh, she’s alive. I’m alive.”

“What a brilliant answer.” Willam snarked. “Can we come visit?”

“I’ll have to ask Visage.” Alaska drawled. “You never know with her…”

“Oh, fuck it.” Courtney decided. “We’ll see you when we get there.”

-

Visitors flowed in and out of Sharon’s room as the time passed. Alaska, like before, stayed with her as often as she possibly could, sleeping near her and never leaving her side. As a result, she saw the way Sharon painted on a smile when guests came, and tried to limit her coughs and complaints when people asked how she was. She noticed the way Sharon was uncharacteristically compliant with the doctors and nurses, merely curling her lip when she was told to do something she didn’t want to. It was no secret that she hated hospitals, and hated feeling trapped, but she went along with everything. She even admitted to Alaska – who was sworn to secrecy never to tell anyone – that she wanted to make it up to everybody she’d hurt, which was why she refused to kick up a fuss. Of course, sometimes she did anyway, but they’d already been warned that irritability was one of the withdrawal symptoms. Mostly, Sharon did her best to be pleasant, but that wasn’t always the case.

“Have you been thinking about rehab?” Michelle asked.

Sharon sat upright and rolled her eyes. “No, I’ve been wondering when it’s safe for me to have another bump. Of course I’ve been thinking about rehab.”

Alaska and Michelle laughed weakly at her joke, still wincing slightly at the painful reminder of what she’d been through. Sharon’s coping method involved a lot of joking and self-depreciation, and Alaska and Michelle were just learning to accept it. They didn’t like remembering what had happened.

“Smart ass. Well, what are you thinking?” Michelle fired back.

She tilted her head. “I don’t know. I’m not going into a residential place, no fucking way. That would be a fucking nightmare.”

Alaska frowned. “I didn’t know there were other types of rehab.”

“You don’t have a drug problem.”

“I’ve done drugs before.” Alaska reasoned.

Sharon nodded. “Yeah, but I started at like, fourteen. Yes, there are other kinds of rehab.”

Michelle hummed. “So you’d prefer one where you just go to meetings and check-ups, not an inpatient one?”

“Yeah.” Sharon confirmed. “Can you imagine me in an inpatient one? Surrounded by pretty gardens and white bedsheets and staff in those ugly trousers? Girl. They’d never let me leave because I’d constantly be asking for cigarettes and makeup. They’d think I’m insane.”

Alaska laughed. “Uh, Doctor, the patient in room 23 keeps asking for Mac lipsticks and PBR… should we run some more tests?”

Michelle cackled out loud, and Sharon swatted at her. Alaska dodged and stuck her tongue out, then pressed a chaste kiss to Sharon’s cheek. Sharon softened and grabbed at her face when she tried to move away, kissing her and then shoving her back into her seat.

“You two sure know how to make my life a living hell. First all those drug stories, and now this? I swear, when the press find out I’ll delete both of your numbers so you can’t text me.” Michelle stated.

Sharon gasped. “Oh yeah, I forgot about the press! Ooh, a drug scandal and the fucking…drag royal…queen couple or whatever the fuck they call us. My booking fee is gonna be so damn high.”

“Like you’re going to be performing anytime soon.” Michelle berated her.

Sharon shot Alaska a look, and grinned. “Two months. I get out of here in a week, that’s the maximum time I’m waiting once I’m home.”

“Nu uh, buddy. Longer.” Michelle argued.

“Nope.”

“Yes.”

“Not waiting.”

“Yes you are.”

“Try me.”

“I will.”

Alaska shrunk down in her seat, watching the exchange.

“-how do we know we can trust you to take care of yourself in a bar or club situation when there will be lots of alcohol and people will offer you drugs because you’re a Ru Girl and they know your name?”

Sharon groaned. “Because I’m a fucking adult, Michelle. Hell, if you’re that fucking worried why don’t you fucking follow me everywhere, like I’m a child? Why don’t you fucking text my manager and make him accompany me to every fucking place that I go, before and after performing? Fucking put me on a leash and tie me to a fucking lamppost every time you have to go somewhere, I’m sure that’ll work. Just fucking follow me every single place I go, like I’m a goddamn toddler.”

“Sharon, you know I can’t do that-”

“I can.” Alaska butted in, sick of the arguing.

Both heads immediately turned to face her, Michelle’s face frozen as she tried to think of a response and Sharon’s eyebrows creased in thought. They looked at her for explanation.

“Well, I can go with Sharon to gigs and stuff. We perform together a lot so that’s not a problem. And I guess, just having someone around that she doesn’t want to kill will be helpful? Like at home?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. Just a thought.”

“If it’ll placate you, I’m down.” Sharon directed to Michelle. “I’ll need to be doing something once I’m out of here, and there’s only so much housework I can do without wanting to blow my brains out.”

“I guess that could work. We’ll figure something out.”

It was only a few hours later, when Sharon had fallen asleep and Michelle had left, that Alaska realised what she’d even offered. Living with Sharon, even temporarily, after so long… that was going to be an experience she couldn’t prepare for.