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#n then gbf i rlly wna do better next gw ! >:3 i rlly want lich tho oh my god
noxtivagus · 2 years
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ALHPY IS SO CUTE 🥺
#🌙.rambles#[ ffxiv. ]#saw smth on twt of him in yk one of the trust dungeons#i shld rlly do the new ones sometime oh dear i have a lot to catch up on#I'M RLLY EXCITED THO! i want to do a lot. so i will fix my schedule. simple.#i'll sleep soon n just be productive tmrrw i need sleep but#alphi's always there to /comfort you n he's the cutest. mwah#i want to catch up yes.#n then gbf i rlly wna do better next gw ! >:3 i rlly want lich tho oh my god#w school i haven't been procrastinating anymore. at least not last minute#i won't write about it anymore but i think i'm. clear about it now in my head#n so i'll learn to live with this. n i'll just be myself.#i'm really not so nervous anymore. i think reflecting abt my place in life n this world n having my family n#the dear friends i still have that. after thinking of what each of them mean to me.#i've come to terms with letting some go. things aren't the same n that's normal n i'll learn to live with it.#just. drifting apart normally#n then there's others i want to get to know better n be even closer w when my social energy is better c:#yeah it's a lonely feeling but i'm good at managing things like that#the only way is forward. n#ah i'm not gna ramble abt it anymore#i'll focus on my studies first n then i'll find my way certainly bit by bit. at my own place. just by being myself. n that'll be enough#i'm gna sleep soon today was well i rlly love spending time w my family :( they're not perfect either ofc but. i've always had them.#but i wish that. from time to time when they talk abt the future n#i'm abt to cry even just thinking of it haha it probably won't be anytime near but the idea of death. mortality. is just#thanks to fiction n music n stories i'm familiar w it but. experiencing it. is smth i haven't actually. yeah yet#though i know of loss. in a way that. we can't have the past ever again. or old friendships n#the fleetingness of time rlly. just. sigh. it suffocates me everyday i think#which is one reason why i try so hard to do my best for the sake of the present n the future n remember the past so keenly#maybe a bit too much that i'm more tied down to it instead. but.. i have to do what i can. i can't hesitate anymore.#so i'll stop writing n get to sleep. as always i'll just. do more tomorrow. n i'll rest now so i can actually do more tmrrw.
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