#nct dream fan

[milfgyuu]

Stabby Daddy [M] Pairing: Lee Donghyuck x Fem!Reader Tags: 1.8k, F2L, Humor, Suggestive Content 18+ Prompt: “No stabbings this year, got it?” + “There’s a guy standing in the backyard with a knife...that you?” Requested by @sweetlyhrj Summary: Your questionable situationship is redefined on Halloween night.

Warnings: Suggestive Content 18+, non-explicit scenes, heaving making out, marking, teasing/flirting/touching, sexual interactions implied, language.

Your crush on Haechan is entirely embarrassing. 

He’s all the things you would hate in anyone else. Whiny, petulant, obnoxious, annoying…

The problem is you have some sort of Hyuck-filter that makes his pout sort of adorable, especially when he’s hanging off your shoulder, batting his eyes at you. His ability to laugh about literally everything is a bit endearing and contagious and though his pranks and practical jokes sometimes get him in trouble…you appreciate his stupid sense of humor. 

Even if you refuse to admit that to anyone other than your cousin. 

Johnny leans down to your ear and whispers, not very subtly. 

“You’re staring at him again.”

In shock at his proximity you bat your hand at him and he quickly extends out of reach. Glaring, you whack him in the stomach. “I was simply observing the party,” you huff out, tugging on the ends of your Sailor Mars costume. It was tight and the skirt was dangerously short but it was Halloween. 

When else do you get to wear such questionable attire?

You grumble at Johnny’s smirk. “What? It’s not my fault his big fat head was in the way as usual.”

Lies. 

He knows you were surveying the party for him specifically and sure enough, you followed the sound of his high pitched laughter, identifying him before he even removed the Ghostface mask. Ugh…he was so h-

“You’re late…”

You lurch forward in terror at the sudden words and warm lips pressed against your ear but Haechan catches you around the middle, pulling you back against him with a laugh. You turn to look over your shoulder and find him grinning back at you - eyes twinkling with mischief. 

How he’d managed to sneak over in the brief minute you took your eyes off of him you’d never know.

“I texted you,” you know - you ignored it. “I was starting to think you wouldn’t show up,” he pouts, face too close to your own.

You fight to clear your throat. “Didn’t realize you were so concerned.”

“Of course I was,” he purrs, “What fun is a party if I don’t get to play with you all night? Making you huff and puff and act like you don’t want me around when you clearly do is my single greatest joy in life.”

Johnny, sensing your inability to retort cuts in to break up the tension.

“Ghostface,” he nods, “Interesting choice considering what happened last year…”

Haechan almost steps away but instead keeps his right arm looped around you, his hand slung low on your hip. “Again,” he argues, shoulders taut in exasperation as if he’s explained this several times already, “How was I supposed to know that was a real knife?!”

Johnny just snorts and you have to giggle…just a little. Everybody was a smidgen too drunk at last year’s party and long story short…Haechan might have accidentally stabbed Jungwoo with a kitchen knife he thought was a prop…just a tiny stab…that required some emergency suturing.

You couldn’t focus on the back-and-forth between the two of them, arguing the details. You were stuck on the fact that Haechan never once moved his hand and your vision blurred each time his fingers squeezed when he was trying to make a point. It wasn’t until Doyoung, darling Doyoung in his boring vampire costume, came over and kissed your cheek. 

“Sailor Mars” he grins at your outfit, a little edge to his voice. “You look amazing.”

The fingers at your hip tighten briefly. 

The oddly possessive reaction stirs something in your chest.

Doyoung then looks up to the heathen attached to that proprietary hand and frowns. “No stabbings this year, got it?”

“It was an accident!”

Doyoung simply sniffs and walks away which is so typical of your stoic yet infinitely disapproving friend that you chuckle bemusedly. 

Haechan is caught looking at you again with the type of heat in his gaze that makes Johnny fumble for an excuse to leave you alone. It’s far from the first time he’s done it and you can read him before he speaks, begging him with your eyes not to leave but…

“Oh, look,” he points off in the distance behind you and you know Ten finally showed up. “There’s the Sailor Moon to my Tuxedo Mask.”

He doesn’t even really excuse himself before powerful strides carry him across the room and far away from you and your...situation.

You scoff after your traitorous cousin. “Bastard.”

Reminding you of his presence, Haechan circles around to stand in front of you, that hand swiveling to land on your lower back as if it’s not to be removed unless you specifically request it.

You don’t though. You never do.

Quietly, he asks, “What’s wrong, beautiful?” and though his voice is teasing, his eyes are serious. “You afraid to be left alone with me?”

You roll your eyes and pride yourself for not letting the motion falter when he slips his other arm around your waist, clasping his hands together behind you. You’re so close that you don’t really have anywhere to put your hands and they sort of just land on his chest but his rapidly beating heart beneath your palm is enough to put your mind at ease. 

You’re not the only one affected. 

It’s been a long game of flirtation and familiar touches in the time that you’ve known Haechan well enough to call him a friend. He teases you relentlessly when you hang out but still shows up at your apartment out of the blue to spend time with you and he invites you out whenever he goes anywhere, making sure to always stay by your side. He texts you randomly throughout the day to check on you or just to say something stupid for you to laugh at him.

He’s as thoughtful as he is a daily nuisance. 

You decide to toy with him right back. It’s fun. It’s what’s comfortable. 

“Afraid of you?” you tilt your head, assessing, taunting, and the look in his eyes softens. “I’m just annoyed that I most likely lost my ride home for the night.”

Haechan laughs, “Nah, I’ll make sure we get you home safely.”

“Hmmm...you promise?”

“Would I lie to you?”

“Yes.”

Haechan huffs out a laugh, face full of amusement. “Well, not about that,” he unwraps his arms but takes your hand and pulls you toward a riveting game of pong. “Have a little faith in your stabby daddy,” he teases, snorting when you fake gag, “Come on,” he swipes his mask and plastic knife off the table he’d left them at, “Admit it. That was clever.”

“That was heinous but I’ll let it slide if you can beat Jaehyun in the next game.”

Haechan smirks knowing Jae’s social anxiety has him three beers in and already starting to throw his shittiest shots. “Oh, it’s in the bag, baby.”

—------------------------------

Nearing midnight, the party hadn’t slowed whatsoever.

There is still drinking and dancing and games happening throughout the house and though Haechan’s been at your side the entire night, he excuses himself for a few minutes when you find Johnny again. 

You’re loathe to admit you miss his company and that constant warmth he’s shared with you for the past few hours of laughing, bickering, and too close dancing. Your eyes cast around the room, hoping to find him on his way back to you but no such luck. 

Suddenly your phone rings and your brows furrow when you see his name on the screen. You answer, plugging your other ear against the noise. “Hello?”

“Come outside.”

Your brows crinkle again. “Outside where? Where did you go?”

He laughs at your confusion. “I can see you in the living room,” he says softly, “You don’t even realize how good you look tonight, do you?”

You turn on your heel and find a big window you’d somehow failed to notice until now just behind the couch. You step closer, narrowing your eyes against the darkness. “Uh...there’s a guy standing in the backyard with a knife...that you?” 

Ghostface looks back at you, mask in place, phone to his ear, waving at you with that stupid knife in hand. “Brave enough to come find out?”

Stupid enough, yeah.

You pace a bit closer to the window and he waves you over. “What’s in it for me?”

“I’ll make it worth your while.”

The sheer depth of his tone makes your legs tremble beneath you and you wordlessly hang up the phone, turning for the back door of the house that leads out to the yard. It’s so dark, barley a sliver of moon in the sky, clouds engulfing the stars and swallowing up any bit of light left. 

If anyone saw you mindlessly following a black cloaked figure out into the tree line they didn’t bother to stop you and when one gloved hand reaches out for you, you take it and allow him to pull you behind a towering tree, out of anyone’s line of sight. Hidden away, he grabs your waist and backs you up against the bark, pressing his heat into you. 

With shaking hands, you pull away the mask and let it fall to the ground but Haechan doesn’t complain. His eyes bounce so slowly between yours and your lips until you rest your arms over his shoulders, wrists crossed delicately behind his head. It’s the most intimate either of you have dared.

His lips collide with your own, desperate fingers digging into your sides to pull you closer until there isn’t any space between you left. Your back arches off the tree and he slips a hand behind you, anchoring your body to his when your tongue presses against his own and he sighs, the taste of your drink dizzying to his already buzzing senses.

Parting is brief, just enough to drag air into your lungs, but Haechan doesn’t stop, dipping down to nip at your throat, gliding his lips and tongue over the marks in order to both soothe and deepen their purplish hue. 

“When are you going to admit you like me so I can ask you out?”

His question is posed between kisses and he works his way back up for a final peck against your lips until he’s looking at you, giving you a chance to answer. 

“I didn’t realize you were waiting on me.”

Haechan smirks. “I am a gentleman.”

“Your hand on my ass says otherwise,” you counter, eyes fluttering when he squeezes his handful. You hadn’t actually recounted when his hand had slipped lower.

“Manners have limitations,” he murmurs, unable to keep himself from kissing you again. 

It’s soft, slow, too sensual. Your thighs press together automatically. 

He pulls back after a while and you groan in frustration. 

Haechan laughs at the look of impatience on your face. Your heaving chest, your parted lips. You look so perfect he might just give in.

”Answer one question for me and I promise, I will take you home and fuck you silly in that pretty little skirt, okay?”

Swallowing the pooling saliva in your mouth is an effort but you nod. You think.

“Will you agree to finally date me for real and stop pretending you’re not totally in love with my dumb ass?”

His question is playful but his face is so sincere. It’s a look you’ve come to recognize in these long months of back and forth. Pretending he’s just flirting with you when you know his intentions to be entirely true. It’s a game but one you’ve grown so familiar with you’re not sure you’re ready to let it end.

“I’ll agree to the first bit,” you start and he grins, “...but I make I make no promises about the second part.”

It seems Haechan isn’t ready for that little game to end either since he grins.

“Good enough for me,” he says and then kisses you hard and fast until you’re laughing and batting him away, complaining about your hair getting caught in the bark. He smiles and apologizes, smoothing down the tangled strands.

Hand in hand, you make your way through the house, let a few people know you’re leaving and then Haechan’s opening his passenger door for you - even going so far as to lean over you and buckle your seatbelt, eyes lingering on your bare succulent thighs. His eyes flicker up to yours.

“I was serious about keeping the costume on,” he admits, one hand nudging your legs apart to tenderly stroke the inside of your knee, “You look so fucking good in that skirt.”

“Does that mean the mask stays on?”

“Will you call me your stabby daddy?” He smirks, fingers leaving impressions in your skin.

He expects a hard no but you laugh and tug him down for a quick kiss. 

“Make it worth my while.”

It’s bold and surprising and has him very quickly shutting your door and rounding the car to get you home as fast as possible. The words will never actually leave your lips but you most certainly would like to see him try to make it happen. 

Honestly? It nearly works. 

Because no one takes on a challenge quite like your stabby daddy boyfriend.

Halloween 2022 | SVT M.List | Main M.List

→ Please do NOT copy, repost, or translate, any of my works here on tumblr or on any other platforms! All stories are copyrighted, Milfgyuu, 2019. ©️

[jentlemahae]

MARK LEE @ CIRCLE CHART MUSIC AWARDS (240110)

[froghwon]

shhhh the czennies and dreamies are communicating..

[belleszn]

⠀　　　　　☻　　⁺　　　🦷𖨂　　✹˳

⠀　　　　　❥　　　o　　⁺　　┄

@yeritos

[f9smaragdine]

Haechan's priorities are at peak 📈😭🤚

That smirk at last, my Man knows what game he is playing 🤌

[huangrenjuns]

HAECHAN ♡ ISTJ | STUDIO CHOOM

[lov--vey]

Lip tint

info: Renjun x reader, established relationship

genre: fluff, suggestive

content: reader being whipped for Renjun, kissing, making out, slight hair pulling

word count: 1.4k

You are about to try the new lip tint you bought and your boyfriend interrupts you.

You sit in front of the dressing table, excitedly. You open your little bag to take out the new lip tint you bought. "Finally" you think, as you have been searching for this shade for a while now; good quality and a reasonable price. To be honest, you're no expert at colors and shades, but you could tell that this is what you wanted, the moment you laid your eyes on it. You tear the plastic seal, unscrew the cap and pull the applicator out. "Wow" you almost say audibly as you admire the color for a second, it's a peachy, rosy, pretty little pink, you think to yourself and realize you didn't even look for the shade name on the packaging while buying it. So you examine the container, only to find out there is a shade number given there instead. "Whatever," you say and swatch the tint on to the side of your wrist, the color looks so pretty and the pigment is just perfect. You move the applicator towards your lips and— 

"Hey y/n, Good Morning! What are you up to babe?" Renjun says cheerfully yet calmly as he enters the room and sits on the bed.

You ignore what he said. "Come check this!" you say, without even looking at him. "This lip tint is so pretty! I just bought it and was about to try it on," you tell him, showing him your wrist.

"Oh, it smells really good too," he says as he examines your wrist and takes a satisfactory whiff. "Mmm."

You finally look up at him and notice how he looks extra pretty today, even though you're the one who is dressed up while he is still in his pajamas.

"Wait, I think we should try it on you because your lips look so pouty and plump. They are always prettier than mine." "Hmm?" You croon.

He cringes.

"I just woke up a while ago and although I took a shower, my face is still somewhat puffy, that’s why," he says seriously, sounding annoyed.

"So, you do agree with what I said, right?"

He groans and makes a face but rests his weight on the dressing table as he faces you, folding his arms and puckering his lips a little. You almost giggle at how easily he complies, even though he is annoyed. Adorable. You get up with the same excitement as earlier and apply the lip tint on your boyfriend's lips. You take a step back to have a look and gasp. The pigment is so damn perfect, it's neither too much nor too little, it looks very natural. Renjun's plump lips and the little gloss of the tint make him look so utterly delicious that you feel like kissing him.

He is waiting for your response, so you turn him around and make him face the mirror. "Babe, it looks so good! You look so dreamy and perfect, I might cry," you beam, overdramatically.

He smiles at you in the mirror and leans forward to take a good look. "Mmm, it’s gotta look pretty because you chose the color," he tells you. You roll your eyes at his cheesy remark.

He looks so handsome yet delicate as you both stand next to each other in the mirror and you admire him, eyeing him up and down.

"Ahem.” “Wanna try it on yourself now? Want me to put it on your lips?" He asks. You lightly nod at him.

He dips the applicator in the container, turning to his side and— you press your lips on his, firmly, backing away quickly. He looks at you with surprised eyes and you just look back at him, as if you kissed him for the first time. You chew at the inside of your lips, shyly, tasting the lip tint.

He is indeed taken aback as it's usually him who steals little kisses from you here and there. Though he can see the lip tint on your lips now, and he chuckles, your knees go weak. Butterflies. You feel a little hot on your cheeks and see that he is blushing too. And then both of you’re grinning at each other like idiots.

He looks so precious, you cannot think of ever letting him go. The next moment, you are crashing your lips onto his so hard that your teeth clack, so stupid, you think. You both kiss hastily yet softly and gently. You can smell the lip tint on his lips, smell his shower gel, his shampoo, his freshly washed oversized t-shirt and his own scent. Shit. It all makes you so dizzy, everything seems to be hazy and your heartbeat increases rapidly. His hands reach down to your waist, pulling you in and your hands are in his hair, then fiddling with the dainty chain at the back of his neck and you reach further to his shoulders and chest, turning him around and pushing him on the dressing-chair, breaking the kiss.

You both look at each other, eyes full of want. He reaches up to cup your face, you lean into his touch, so soft. He suddenly pulls you in for another kiss, one hand on your jaw and the other on your hips, squeezing. You slightly squirm. He pulls you, straddling you onto his thighs smoothly.

How can he be so hot and so damn adorable at the same time? He'd really have the softest expression on his face and look all precious and tiny in his favorite oversized outfits and still have this elegant and intimidating aura. You fall for it each time. One second he'd be giving you his delicate bright smile and gaze so gentle, and the next, his smile still the same yet his eyes would darken; the gaze going cold and it would make you shiver because it's so sexy. It's been three years since you guys started dating and you always feel like you're in a trance, whenever you notice him doing the simplest of things. He is too sexy, too beautiful, too precious. You Love Renjun.

You get out of your hazy thoughts as he sucks at your upper lip and you lick his lower lip, slightly biting it. He parts his lips and you take no time to explore his mouth. He tastes like the toothpaste he uses and the lemon water he drinks after waking up. The minty and citrus tastes tingle your tongue but you like it. Your tongues work so well together, swirling the slightly bitter taste of the lip tint, taking turns on each other. You guys are practically making out after a while because you didn't even realize when your hand moved under his t-shirt and onto the waistband of his sweatpants. One of his hands is dangerously close to your inner thighs, groping you and the position you both are in isn't very helpful either.

You move your other hand from his chest to the back of his neck, into his hair and tug a little. "Mmh," he whimpers, grip tightening where his other hand rests on your arm. You feel the hair on the back of your neck rise. You love this so much, you do it again, this time yanking, and he moans loudly into the kiss, both his hands suddenly flying to your hips and grabbing tightly. God!

You lean away for air and, fuck he looks so gorgeous as you still hold on to his hair, his face tilted towards you. His dark brown bangs are a mess, his lips swollen and lip tint smeared all around them. Both of you are slightly panting. His brows are furrowed, probably because of the pain, and his eyes have this fiery look as if he is angry at what you did, but you know him, you know he likes it. You smirk, also mouthing a little sorry immediately, feeling guilty and concerned. As soon as you say that, his expression changes surprisingly to that of a smug smile. He was just teasing you, as if he gave you what you want, because he wanted to. He likes to play. You swear you want to violently kiss that smug off of his handsome little face and make out forever.

The lip tint! You sigh and turn your head around to look in the mirror. “The color indeed looks pretty,” you say while noticing the lip tint smeared on your lips as well.

“Told ya, my girlfriend bought it,'' he says while peeking from your side with the same smirk. You both smile in the mirror like idiots, again.

author's note: Sorry if my English and grammar suck .🥲. I am not good at English and this was my first time ever writing anything properly in my life.

I am so down bad for Renjun. The recent teaser pictures have me on my knees.

Anyways, thanks for reading and feel free to interact.

[andysorbit]

imagine Haechan x bald black fem!reader cuz like...

Hyuck is the type to gas up his gf when she first shaves all of her hair off but he's also the type to be the most insufferable immature little shit

"when it grows out a little more, you should bleach it... you're gonna look like a sexy little Sisqo"

"so like... what's the alternative to hair pulling? if I'm giving it to you from behind, do I slap the back of your head?"

He will definitely pretend your head is a crystal ball

"I love you, Megamind."

kisses your head a LOT

"Can I lick your head? No? Jerk..."

"You know how if you look at something and imagine yourself licking it that your brain does the thing and you suddenly know exactly how something would feel if you did lick it? Yeah I'm doing that with your head since you won't let me lick it... jerk"

"Good girlfriends let their boyfriends lick their bald heads"

"If you really loved me, you'd let me do it"

"stop being a jerk and lemme do it stop gatekeeping that bald deliciousness"

"I can literally put my tongue on your pussy but this is where you draw the line?"

"If you don't let me lick your head, you're a racist and a jerk"

brags to everyone about your shirt hair

"my girlfriend's bald"

"I haven't been in love with a bald woman since I learned about Grace Jones... I'd dump you for her. She'd let me lick her head."

"It's a good length to bleach it so now you can get that Sisqo thing going"

after you grow it a bit longer and bleach it he's never not singing a Sisqo song

[jaemtens]

220904 ◇ villain (jeno)

[haevrrs]

and a bitch is BACK?

[emeraldbabygirl]

Have not watched every nct mv yet but convinced already that they’re just a group, a rather large group, who do silly dances and make goofy ah music. I’m not hating them Idk how anyone could genuinely hate them cause they so silly I laugh watching their mvs cause I don’t expect what’s happening and there’s so much in every video, the goofy opening choreo for favorite and the TikTok meme, they all sleep like bottoms, there’s the silly flute in sticker and the cowboy core with all the lights and Vegas and they drink hot sauce and the hippie vibes and it’s just gay and campy and cunty and extra and goofy and fun music, the weird English lyrics, the odd sounding instrumentals, like I’m not sure if I genuinely like any nct songs or unit songs as in I think they are really good but they can be catchy and are def fun to listen too, the opening to kick it and the chorus in kick back, love talk is so nasty and funny and I also think it’s hilarious that the entire group vapes. Idk like I know idols smoke but there’s like so many members and the fact that they all collectively vape they all share the same braincell and it’s so funny to me idk why and the remixes and all the Bollywood memes and the comments are hilarious it’s like going down a rabbit hole it’s fun and boujee and they do all different concepts and genres and silly like dances and all kinds of stuff it’s fun I think it’s cute.

[hyuck-xix]

sorry i just need to scream about renjun being hot as fuck because oh my godddddd

[jentlemahae]

MARK LEE / GLITCH MODE (230601)

[jiamour]

💿 now playing: pushin’ n pullin’

povs: 💗-yn, 🖤-js, 💛-rj, 💙-jn, 🧡-mk, 💜-dh, ❤️-jm, 💚-

track 31: jobless monday

guitarist!jisung x reader

a/n: a jeno psyche introspection update :]

a/n: everyone in this au dissociated when they’re overwhelmed in their own way bcs they’re all just like me

tw// dissociation, derealization, depression, anxiety, mentions of past suicidal ideations, arguments, mark doesn’t let go of jeno when he asks him to, not suggestive but jeno spends a considerable amount of time on his knees and has an oral fixation, this was written for me and me only

word count: 4.2k

album tracklist

soundtrack: jobless monday - mitski, the cut that always bleed - conan gray

jeno is tired. mondays are always like this, he has a lecture at 11am followed by a 4 hour lab at 5pm. these are both mandatory credits that gave no other scheduling options just to ensure that he, personally, wouldn’t be able to eat lunch or dinner at his usual times, he was sure of this.

jeno just wants to graduate. they curse their younger self sometimes for choosing a 5 year program, but other times they’re grateful. jeno’s scared of graduating, they’re scared of the real world, job searching, the fact that they’re directionless and that they can’t keep putting off answering questions about what they plans to do with their life, what they plan to do in the future, because now they’re in the future and they’ve still got nothing.

sometimes, they just want to turn their thoughts off. which is what they thought their zoloft prescription was for but apparently they only takes those to feel chronically fatigued and sweaty.

jeno often feels like he lives entirely inside his mind, which is a funny thing to say because of course he does, everyone does. but he swears it’s different, he feels like the truest form of himself is trapped in a mental cavern where he sits and observes the physical world. a world that he can never truly reach or interact with, it’s far away and blurry around the edges like a vignette.

at night, when he’s alone and it’s dark and quiet, it’s like he’s not even corporeal. he can be anywhere but usually he finds himself traveling back to his childhood bedroom and it’s like he’s really truly there in every sense but physical. he has to blink himself out of it after a few minutes to prevent the unreality from completely overtaking him. he turns on his phone flash light and takes in what’s real, the overpriced uni hoodie he stole from mark that hangs over his desk chair, the pile of textbooks he needs to resell, the dying plant he hasn’t watered in weeks. he wills himself to be there, be present.

jeno finds himself following a routine, which he likes most of the time, he thinks. or maybe he doesn’t. jeno’s not quite sure what he likes. he’s not quite sure who he is at all actually. but jeno thinks he likes routines because routines mean he’s going ‘home’, or atleast a home away from home, marks apartment.

they know when they get there it will be just like any other day. mark will acknowledge their entrance with a nod not even pointed in their direction, if they’re lucky maybe they’ll be granted a mumble of greeting or a fleeting glance. jeno will kiss his cheek, maybe play with his fingers for a while, but eventually they’ll always end up sat alone at the end of mark’s bed silently playing games on their phone or texting jaemin to ease their boredom.

mark will join them around 1am every night, when jeno has already made their way up the bed and under the blankets. jeno will be just barely awake, holding on just because they swore they wouldn’t fall asleep without mark there beside them.

this stubborn “rule” has been holding on strong for about a year now, having started when jeno found mark still awake after 2 and a half days, trying to finish a paper early. that evening they stand beside marks desk, arms crossed, until late hours into the night. they remember practically falling asleep on their feet but refusing to move without mark taking a break and joining them. eventually, when jeno practically flops on top of his keyboard and rubs at their sleep filled eyes with the sleeve of their hoodie, marks hoodie, mark caves.

right now, he’s on his way home, alone. his hand reaches out instinctively when he goes to cross the street but no one grabs on. he knows it’s dumb and maybe childish but mark always holds his hand out for him when they’re around busy intersections. the emptiness reminds him of everytime mark forgets. jeno would reach his hand out and no one would hold on, he’d look to the side and see mark smiling as he texts someone on his phone.

“hey!” a voice yells out from behind him when the cross walk signal blinked to a walk. he jumps back, head whipping back and forth checking for cars that may have ran the light, but none came.

“hey,” the voice says again, closer this time, jeno turns begging themself not the shake, so the stranger doesn’t know they’re panicking over crossing the fucking street, “you’re marks partner, right?”

“yeah,” they respond, willing their natural charisma to take hold and do the talking for them, “i’m jeno.”

“perfect! could you give this to him? i haven’t been able to catch him in forever,” the stranger hands jeno a file without waiting for an answer, “and tell him to text me back!”

“okay,” jeno smiles a fake smile, “i’ve got to get home but it was nice to meet you.”

“you too man,” the boys already turning around and jeno has to cross the street again, the file shaking in his hands.

jeno loves going home to mark, even if he doesn’t get any of the attention he craves, even if he doesn’t get a second of intamacy. jeno loves mark, he has to love mark, it makes him feel stable and grounded somewhere. he likes having that role assigned to him, he likes being “marks partner”, it makes him feel like he has purpose, he has direction. he finds it a bit nerve wrecking to think about losing that part of himself but it is a bit scary in general to have such an integral part of your identity be tied to another person who you feel is slowly falling more and more out of love with you.

but if mark needs them to be more loveable then they’ll become more loveable! just not tonight. tonight, jeno is tired. tonight, they’ll appreciate the fraction of mark that they get because that’s just how things are.

jeno enters marks room and quietly closes the door behind themself and place their backpack against the wall. mark doesn’t acknowledge them once, just chews on his nicotine gum in silence, it’s one of those nights.

he wants to make a scene. he wants to make a stance. he’s gonna march straight into bed and ignore mark as well! that’ll teach him! but when jeno thinks rationally he knows mark won’t even notice and he’ll just end up feeling more upset.

so jeno goes up to his partner, ready to give him an earful about lack of quality time and appreciation. but jeno is tired. so, instead he droops lazily to his knees, right beside marks gaming chair. without looking down, mark shifts the chair back slightly, ushering jeno between his legs, almost under his desk. jeno follows the silent instructions and rests his cheeks on marks thigh with a puffed out sigh.

mark reaches a hand down to play with jeno’s hair, and jeno can’t help the smile that envelops them knowing they finally got marks attention, at least partially.

“hey yed,” marks voice is soft and sweet and he cards his fingers through jeno’s bangs pushing them back and out of his face.

mark makes them feel like their in a jar of honey, their brain feels sickeningly sweet and works painfully, perfectly, slow. jeno manages to hum back a response. “hey,” they quietly greet and they nuzzle themself further against marks thigh.

“tired?” mark asks, brushing his thumb gently over jeno’s cheek and beneath his glasses along his closed eyelid before returning to softly scratching along his scalp.

“mhmmm” jeno hums, letting his head be moved along easily by marks fingers.

mark coos, “my poor baby,” and jeno’s smile turns positively dopey, he knows if mark ever looks down he’ll be met with a very obviously love sick idiot.

everything about jeno feels like jelly. he almost huffs at that realization, not because of the feeling but because he keeps comparing himself to food. jeno might just be hungry. this is what happens when his lunch and dinner scheduling is disturbed.

marks fingers move down the back of jeno’s neck and they shiver against his touch before relaxing fully back into his thigh, jeno hadn’t even noticed themself getting tense but somehow mark managed to picked up on it.

“do you want to tell me about your day, baby?” mark asks softly, massaging circles into the hair behind jeno’s ear.

“mmmm, there was a girl on the bus with a dog this morning, i didnt get to pet it though, wasn’t sure if it was working,” jeno pouts, his voice is barely above a whisper. his eyes squeeze shut as he tries to indulge completely in marks touch, “and i got lunch with renjun, we split a family size salad from the grocery store.”

“have you eaten dinner yet?” jeno shakes their head and in the process, leans back and rests their chin atop marks knee so they can look up at their partner.

mark looks down at them and then he’s fighting off a smile as he looks away. god, he loves mark.

jeno knows he’s in love. he has been for almost 4 years now and he doesn’t think it will ever go away. mark has always described being in love as some over powering force that disorients him, practically incapacitates him, but for jeno it’s different. for jeno, it’s relaxing, it’s comfortable, it’s like living in a cloud (if clouds weren’t just water droplets and were actually stretched out cotton balls). it was something so soft he let himself sink down into it, unsuspecting, and now he’s stuck, surface barely firm enough to move, let alone climb out of.

‘cotton candy!’ jeno marvels. falling in love was like getting tangled up in a wand of cotton candy, all sticky and pretty and a little bit messy. he imagines compressing it down between his fingers forming pink and blue sugar sheets that he longs to take a bite of. the more he lets his mind wander the more he wants to devour mark. jeno really wishes he grabbed food before he came, he can barely focus on the conversation at hand. this is getting embarrassing.

“there’s some left overs in the fridge if you want them,” mark is giving them his full attention now and jeno wonders what they did to earn the honour.

“maybe later,” jeno hums back because he’s a sap and no matter how much he wants food, he wants mark more. just like this.

“yed, you need to eat if you’re hungry,” he’s softly reprimanded, with absolutely no bite behind it. mark places his hand on jeno’s cheek, stroking under his eye with his thumb. jeno leans into his touch, as good as delirious.

there’s sparks flying inside of jeno’s head, mark being worried about him skipping a single meal shouldn’t make him feel as insane as it does. jeno can feel the oxytocin levels rising in his brain, in his mind it’s a soft lilac colour and it dances behind his eyes.

and then there’s a thumb against jeno’s bottom lip, their eyes practically go cross as they attempt to look down at it. mark laughs softly at their suprise and he presses down ever so slightly, it’s just enough to make jenos mouth drop open, a response that was practically automatic.

mark eases his thumb into jeno’s mouth and jeno nips at the tip of it. mark laughs. god they love making mark laugh, it’s not exactly a difficult feat but it feels blissful every time, nonetheless.

jeno presses his tongue against the pad of marks thumb, it’s salty. wow. jeno really could devour him. he can imagine how dumb he looks right now, on his knees, huge dark circles under his eyes, hair probably a mess, his tongue lapping up his boyfriends fucking finger, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. leave it to mark to enable his oral fixation when he least expected it.

“you’re so pretty,” mark hums, and jeno wants to melt. mark thinks he looks pretty. jeno wonders what he actually looks like from marks perspective, wonders how he would feel if mark was in his position. his partner looking up at him through his lashes with his pretty doe eyes that were almost glazed over with sleep. jeno is obsessed. but, he thinks, he might just be obsessed with everything mark does.

“stop looking at me like that,” mark mutters shyly, his tone laced in fondness. he removes his thumb from jeno’s mouth and looks away again, the tips of his ears tinted red, “at least not while i’m working.”

“sorry, just love you a lot,” jeno pushes himself off of his knees a little, so he can flop more of his body onto marks lap. his arms wrap around marks waist and his head rests on his abdomen, “can’t help it.”

“you-“ mark cuts himself off with a laugh, and starts to run his fingers through jeno’s hair again, “you make me feel crazy, did you know that?”

“mhmm” jeno hums back proudly. snuggling into his partner, who HE made feel crazy, “you love me.”

“i love you,” mark hums in agreement, “so much.”

they fall back into silence.

at least until jeno’s phone buzzes.

they slump down off of mark and sit on their calf’s in front of him. jeno’s eyes light up as soon as they see the message and mark sends them a curious glance as they begin to stand up.

“jaem texted,” jeno smiles with his eyes at his confused partner and kisses him on the cheek as a goodbye, “said he was making something to eat and needed my help.”

mark grabs their hand before they can go, and pulls them back into him, placing a firm kiss on jeno’s lips. jeno smiles brighter at the unexpected action but it falters slightly when mark doesn’t let him go.

“but you just got here,” mark pouts.

“i’ll be back, i promise,” jeno smiles sweetly and playfully tugs his hand away but mark only intertwine their fingers and pulls him closer, pecking his lips again, “i’m just going down the hall markie, you wanted me to eat right?”

“yes,” mark whines, “but i thought you’d just be heating up left overs and coming right back, if you help jaemin you could be gone all night.”

“you’re so dramatic,” jeno coos at his pouting partner, lifting their intertwined hands to kiss the back of marks hand as marks shoulders sag, “i’ll be quick.”

“i haven’t seen you all day.”

“neither has jaemin,” jeno laughs like mark is only teasing.

“jaemins not your boyfriend.”

“‘mark that’s dumb, i’m just going to make dinner,” they hated the tension, every part of jeno wants to relieve the conflict they knew they were teetering on the edge of, “you could make dinner with us if you want.”

mark squeezes his hand with a frown, “i cant baby, i have to work.”

“yeah,” jeno looks away, “that’s what i thought you’d say.”

“baby,” mark was firm, his jaw clenched, “stay please.”

“jaemin wants my help and i need dinner.”

“i don’t get you,” marks eye contact burns into them.

“what?” jeno frowns back.

“i don’t get you,” mark repeats, “i don’t get why you’re choosing jaemin over me.”

“markie, you’re being ridiculous,” jeno whines, “i’m not choosing anyone. i’m making dinner.”

“not just now, in general,” he’s holding jeno’s hand so tightly now it starts to hurt, “after what he did to you. i don’t know how you forgave him.”

“you don’t know anything about jaemin,” they know their tone is cold but they can’t help it, anger starting to bubble up inside them.

“i know a fuck ton about jaemin,” mark fights back, “ i know he’s a coward, i know that he didn’t fight for you like you’d fight for him.”

“he didn’t know.”

“how could he not know? you were miserable,” jeno feels his throat start to close up as mark continues, “did he not care about you at all?”

“shut up,” jeno chokes out. he doesn’t need to hear this. he doesn’t need to relive any of this. not over some petty argument. he couldn’t cry. he wouldn’t. he’s made to much progress moving past this to let it hurt him again.

“i’m sorry baby, but i just don’t get why it took your dad dying and you getting fucking institutionalized for him to come back,” if he truly was sorry he would listen to jeno and shut up, jeno thinks, he wants to scream but he doesn’t, “he doesn’t deserve you.”

“we were teenagers mark and i’m not his responsibility.”

“jeno you almost died,” jeno startles at marks volume

“i know!” their voice raises against their will and cracks, “but i didnt! i’m here aren’t i? and without jaemin i probably wouldn’t be so can you fucking drop this?”

“sorry,” mark repeats, his face was contorted in a mix of pain and conflict.

“it’s fine,” they huff, “can you just let go of me.”

jeno pulls his hand back gently but mark doesn’t budge, “baby i don’t want you to go like this, not after a fight.”

jeno furrows his eyebrows “mark. let go.”

he has the strength to pull his hand away himself, but he didn’t see why he had to exert force when his partner should let his hand go when he states he wants to be let go.

mark grips his hand tighter and jeno’s heart rate picks up, he really doesn’t like this, he needs to go, “let go,” he whispers.

mark gives him a begging look, “…jeno.”

“let me go.”

“jeno. baby. come on.”

“LET GO OF ME,” he yanks his hand away as hard as he can since clearly mark didn’t want to respect his autonomy.

it happens so fast, they don’t have control of the swing of their arm as it hits marks desk sending a glass clattering against a wall and a pile of papers falling to the ground. the glass smashes, loud, but all jeno can hear is the sound of their own heart and the shriek of his voice.

mark startles, his eyes go wide, concern taking over every one of his senses. jeno feels sick to their stomach.

“i’m sorry,” he cries, “i’m didn’t mean to yell, i didnt, i didnt. i’m sorry. i’m sorry.”

“shhhh,” mark hushes, not knowing if it was okay to reach out to comfort his panicking partner, “it’s okay baby, it’s my fault. everything’s okay. try to breath.”

they can’t process marks words, they feel dizzy, everything is blurring and fuzzy and bad. everything is bad and loud and painful. they squeeze their eyes shut, it’s disorienting, they see the blinding glow of headlight and glasses smash inside of their skull. right the glass. they broke a glass.

“i’m sorry,” jeno repeats, frantically wiping the tears away from his eyes before he drops to the ground, scrambling to pick up the broken shards of glass.

“hey, hey, baby, stop. please,” mark pulls at his shoulders trying to get him away from the glass, he easily tell how out of it his partner was, not wanting to take any risks to his well-being, “don’t worry about it baby. get away from the glass, it’s okay. i’ll clean it up. it’s okay baby.”

jeno doesn’t stop trying to collect the tiny shard that litter the ground, and marks concern only grows as they lets out a loud, painful, sob that makes their chest and throat ache.

“it’s okay, it’s okay,” mark coos softly, running his hand through jeno’s hair attempting to smooth him, “you’re safe, everything’s okay, i promise.”

jeno nods but marks not sure they’re processing a word he’s saying. he tries again to pull them away from the glass but jeno shakes him off with a shaky, heaved, breath.

“can you breath for me baby?” mark tries so hard to keep calm and steady, wanting to pull jeno back but not wanting to make any sudden or firm movements that would panic jeno further, “can you do that for me please?”

jeno tries to form a sentence but it comes out in a loud panic noise. he feels like he’s suffocating, his vision slowly boxing itself in.

“i’m so-“ jeno tries to repeat but he speaks like he’s out of breath. he’s falling, every sound is distant and fuzzy like a messed up radio signal.

he can barely hear it as marks bedroom door is slammed open but his skin burns as he’s pulled into a suffocating, protective hug. it’s not mark, mark is knocked onto his ass beside them and he could feel himself being pulled in the opposite direction.

“jeno, jen, are you okay?” it’s underwater and distorted but they can tell it’s jaemin. they couldn’t wrap their head around why jaemin was there, what he was asking, nothing felt right, “did you get cut by any glass, let me see you.”

glass. the glass. the glass he shattered, after he yelled. he felt sick to his stomach knowing he caused enough of a commotion for jaemin to hear from the kitchen.

“jen, i need you to answer me, are you okay?” jeno cant seem to keep his attention on anything, he feels trapped deep in his mind watching everything with a delay. he nods.

“what the fuck did you do?” jaemin sounds so harsh and it makes their heart clench but the comment isn’t directed towards them.

“nothing,” mark sounds just as cold, “get out, i’ll fix it.”

“nothing?” jaemin’s voice rises, but to jeno its moving further away from him. he gasps for air, or maybe he just breaths, he can’t tell, everything is heavy.

he pushes himself away from jaemin, who seems to be rather preoccupied with arguing with mark and shakes as he stands to his feet, “i’m going-“ he tries to speak, “i’m gonna lie down.”

he stumbles to the bed and lays there, staring up at the ceiling, letting one more tear fall before everything stops. he’s spaced out and the argument booming in the room is nothing but muffled white noise.

they don’t know how long the screaming match lasts. they’re not really here anyways. they’re back home in their childhood bedroom and everything’s okay.

-

marks sighs when jaemin leaves, wanting toss another round of papers off of his desk but he doesn’t. jaemins parting warning, “be a better boyfriend before you aren’t a boyfriend at all,” repeats itself in his head.

he sits at the end of the bed, easing into the comfort as it says below him. he places his hand on jeno’s ankle.

“jeno?” he says softly and gets no response.

he sighs again and let’s himself fall back into his back, “can you come back to me, baby?”

no response.

he reaches up and delicately holds jeno’s hand, they lay like this for a few seconds and mark takes everything in, “baby, if you can hear me, squeeze my hand, please.”

mark waits a couple seconds. then 5. then 10. after 14 he feels a squeeze. it was light but it was enough to send a spark of relief down marks spine.

“i’m sorry for raising my voice,” mark takes a shaky breath, “and for not letting you go… and for what i said about jaemin. i know you love him- and he loves you, he does, i know that. it’s just sometimes i get so mad at him and- and-“

mark tries to clear his throat to make his voice stay sturdy, “i’m sorry.”

jeno doesn’t respond, but mark doesn’t expect them to. he lets go of their hand and pushes himself back up. he looks back at jeno as he gets off the bed to grab a spare blanket from his closest, knowing he wouldn’t be able to get the blanket on his bed out from under jeno easily.

he sits at the top of the bed beside jeno and fluffs the blanket out so it’s covering the both of them. gently, he takes jeno’s glasses off, doling them closed and reaches over jeno to place them on the the nightstand on jeno’s side.

mark snuggles under the blanket and into jeno, kissing his forehead, “i love you.”

no response.

mark bites back tears, not liking when jeno’s upset with him or when he’s the cause of jeno panicking enough to retreat into the safety of his mind.

jeno rolls over to face him and ducks his head into his chest.

mark closes his eyes and a couple of tears make it free, he lets himself relax next to jeno.

“i’m sorry,” mark whispers again.

“it’s okay,” jeno whispers back.

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

[faerenjun]

𓇙

[nctdream]

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