#nct dream jisung x reader | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nobodyeverasked · 2 years

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morning doves; park jisung

(7,964 words) - large

summary ➣ Jisung makes sure to continue to be NCT’s new member, Y/N’s, safe place as he is set to join Jisung and the rest of NCT Dream for their newest season of 7llin’ in the Dream.

genre ➣ fluff

.・゜-: ✧ :- .・゜-: ✧ :- -: ✧ :-゜・. -: ✧ :-゜・．

Y/N peeled off his jacket as he and the rest of NCT Dream filtered through the entrance of their rented property and spread themselves out across all the floors. Jeno and Jaemin heading upstairs to get the best pick of bedrooms, Chenle and Haechan unloading a few bundles of groceries onto the kitchen counters, and then Jisung, Mark, and Renjun dispersing to what they thought were the quietest corners of the house to take a little bit more time for themselves before cameras started rolling.

The afternoon sun took on a warm, coral glow as it began to sink beneath the horizon, giving one last kiss of blazing gold to the clouds before it let the sky bleed black. And the breeze filtered in through propped open windows, chuckling as it wrapped around Y/N’s shoulders in some sort of makeshift comfort as Y/N just shifted restlessly in the middle of the living room. He was here, a seat right in between Jisung and Chenle for him in the car that brought him all the way through the front door; however, he felt as if he couldn’t settle his weight on anything or it would shatter.

So he just stood with his jacket draped in his arms, the warm ivories of the overhead lights spilling down his back did nothing to ease the tension he could feel building up in every one of his hesitant steps toward something he wanted to take a closer look at. Y/N knew that being integrated into NCT Dream’s already pretty solidified dynamic was going to be jarring, as his impression in the coastlines that the seven other boys have conquered together would probably have no room. He didn’t know that it would be this hard, though, that he’d constantly face the threat of having his place in the sand washed out by the tides.

There were things that made it marginally easier, shining lights at the edge of seemingly endless paths that made all those sleepless nights clinging to the beats of his practice music, and holding on so dearly to the withered stars of his dreams in his hands in hopes that they’d be set alight again all worth it.

“Y/N…?”

Y/N instantly turned around to the voice that wandered tentatively into the room, the sunlit silhouette of Jisung following right after it as he ducked through the doorway to meet Y/N’s eyes. Seeing Jisung’s curious smile dragged a breath out from Y/N he unfortunately knew he was holding - he never wanted to take up too much air when he was around a sub-unit of NCT he’s supposed to be fixed in.

Right now, though, it just feels like he’s been shoddily attached onto it with a flimsy piece of tape. He feels like one wrong move or word or step or action can leave him with nowhere to turn, and with all the years and sanity he’s thrown to windless afternoons and sunless days trapped in mirrorless practice rooms just washed away with no remorse.

Jisung didn’t make him feel like that, though. Being in his arms always made him feel okay and that he finally belonged. That the places where Jisung held him delicately by the edges of his fingertips or by a firm grip on his shoulders whenever they’d laugh too hard and be pulled into each other’s gravity weren’t just by a series of merely fortunate coincidences or by a lucky strike. Jisung just made him feel like everything was certain and secure, and it’s been so long since he’s been able to reclaim that feeling - even fleetingly.

“Whatcha doing? We should try and get dibs on a good bedroom before we have to sleep on the couch…” Jisung’s laughter was quiet, but his smile brightened as he noticed a tense chuckle begin to trickle from Y/N’s pressed lips as well. It didn’t take anybody clairvoyant to see how stressed Y/N was, and how stressed he’s been since he received the news that he’d be joining NCT Dream. He nudged Y/N in the stomach as he made his way closer and wrapped an arm around his tightened shoulders, taking pride in how they relaxed as soon as Jisung caressed Y/N’s arm soothingly.

All Jisung wanted to do was put a smile on Y/N’s face and ease his nerves every single time he’d find himself pulled toward Y/N standing awkwardly, straying from the crowd. He’d always be shifting on his weight as if he was so uncertain whether he was allowed to settle it or not, and with the glimmers that faded in and out in his gaze, it seemed as if he was always trying to find whether he belonged in their spaces or not, as if the answer to the question would ever be ‘no’.

Jisung was admittedly always his safe place, as seeing Y/N so uncertain of himself in every setting he was brought into broke his heart. He’d just do anything to take Y/N in and tell him that he belongs, and he has, but he knows that he has to do more than that to make Y/N believe it. That was especially the case with the way Jisung treated him before; when Y/N was first brought through the doors and put under the spotlight of the eyes of every single NCT member that debuted before him. There was a point where there was a lot of ground to make up for them, where kind smiles and warm embraces were once uncertain, stolen glances and cold shoulders.

When Y/N was initially introduced to NCT as their new maknae, Jisung would be lying through his teeth if he claimed to be as thrilled to have Y/N with them as he is now. And when Y/N was assigned to share the room Jisung was accustomed to being in all by himself, his mixed feelings about Y/N’s arrival were even harder to hide and shove beneath his pillows. He couldn’t distinguish between what he wanted to feel from what he could feel, and that left him empty-handed with every single earnest attempt that Y/N made at conversation whenever their paths crossed.

Jisung didn’t know whether to be supportive or upset, or if any of his feelings were justified as he’d bid Y/N farewell around every corner with nothing but a ducked head and a silence that’d leave Y/N’s voice filling in a space that Jisung didn’t want to fill. After Y/N’s attempts began to grow fewer and farther between, to the point where Y/N would barely steal a glance in the mirror during their joint practices, Jisung finally had the time to trace his steps over the cracks he left in their past attempts at conversation. He’s seen Y/N recede, lose the presence painted in beautiful, pink flush that came in through the practice room doors; and he found himself missing that, as if the withered roses that bloomed on Y/N’s face instead with every time Y/N would catch himself slipping and trying to talk to Jisung made his heart sink into this thick, all-encompassing emptiness.

Y/N was fulfilling all of Jisung’s subconscious, misguided wishes to distance himself from a family who claimed him as the youngest. And Jisung almost realized too late that what Y/N was doing wasn’t what he wanted at all. In fact, it broke his heart in a way he couldn’t recognize.

Whenever he’d come back to his and Y/N’s shared room and see no shape in the bed across from his, whenever he’d trek past the practice rooms on escapades for late night snacks at four in the morning, and whenever he’d wake up just before his alarm; Y/N wouldn’t be there. He’d be wherever the music was leaking from under the cracks of the only closed practice room door, heavy breaths practically breaking the walls down as Jisung always stayed long enough, too long, to hear them crumble into weak, breathy sobs.

The first time he heard that happen, the moment the twisted symphony of Y/N’s ragged breaths would snap in two with a whimper that would make Jisung curl in on himself, he finally began to realize what he felt. It wasn’t just the regret of being part of the reason that someone - especially a member of NCT - is feeling alone, but also the echoes in the hollows of his heart that he didn’t know were there until he felt this sudden urge to push the door open.

So he did exactly that, he threw the door open to see Y/N scrambling to wipe away tears that trickled down his cheeks. All he could feel was this overwhelming guilt nearly knocking him over, and all he wanted was to take the ache of all Y/N’s struggles away.

They both remember how they sat in the middle of the practice room for hours that night, with Jisung listening to everything Y/N said and all the things he didn’t want to say. And they also both remember how Jisung said he was sorry for his contribution to all of it. He knew that achieving dreams wasn’t easy, and Jisung just made it harder.

Jisung also recalled the exact moment he felt his heart shatter even more, as Y/N confessed how much he looked up to Jisung, and how he saw Jisung as everything he wanted to be when he finally was able to hold on to his dreams and debut. The person Y/N looked up to most turned his back on him, and took part in withering his glow.

He still finds himself apologizing to Y/N for all of it, and then loses himself in Y/N’s hands every time he does, as Y/N would always say that it was okay and that the stars he holds in his hands still shine brightest for him.

The start to their relationship was rough, but everything that followed rendered them inseparable.

After their reconciliation, after they decided with a laugh that they’d spend the night in the practice room, and after Jisung curled himself around Y/N on that dirty practice room floor as they tried their best to go to sleep; Jisung stopped at nothing to make this place and to make NCT feel like Y/N’s home - what it was always supposed to be. He spent all of their time together, free or not, making up to him all the conversations he mindlessly threw away, all the sleepless nights playing around in practice rooms and lingering in living areas until dawn that Jisung once turned down.

Now, they’re at a place they never thought they’d be - but feel so happy to be in - balancing comfortably on this line between being friends and more than that. They loved each other, they knew that. But with recent NCT Dream promotions and their schedules filling up faster than they could run away from them into the sunsets they’ve shared on the rooftops Jisung would drag Y/N to, they haven’t had the time to put a definition to it yet.

They’re okay with it, though; having these lingering smiles and sneaking in nudges between their foreheads when the camera wasn’t recording, but not knowing what they mean. They didn’t need to know what they meant, all they knew was that all the little extra things they do for each other and with each other, all the exceptions they make in all their habits for one another, make them happy.

“Sorry, I was just looking around, taking in all the sights and smells and whatnot.”

Jisung considered Y/N’s excuse for a second to humour him, until he eventually raised an eyebrow with a smile.

“Standing here, in the living room by yourself? I’m sure you take a lot of stuff in from here.” Jisung slid his hand down Y/N’s arm to tie their hands together, tugging him in the direction of the stairs so they could get up there before Chenle and Haechan were done in the kitchen. Y/N followed Jisung’s light, but still eager pulls on his fingers, catching onto his laughter with a giggle of his own. “We need to go! Before Mark claims two beds for himself-”

“Hey, why are there only seven beds?” Y/N and Jisung’s parade up the stairs was stopped as they saw Renjun stop at its landing, his call out to the managers and camera still hauling their equipment inside spilling over the railing and weighing Y/N’s shoulders back down. Renjun turned to see Y/N’s smile falter just a little, a sympathetic pout forming on his face as they locked eyes over Jisung’s shoulder.

It was just a bed - there’s only so much space for beds in this house. At least they didn’t forget him in the parking lot or anything.

“You can just sleep with me, Y/N. I don’t mind sharing.” Renjun shrugged his shoulders. He didn’t want to pressure Y/N, but he hoped he took him up on his offer so he didn’t feel so alone on whatever he’d find as a bed instead. A little bit of frustration bubbled in Renjun’s stomach as he saw the panicked looks exchanged between the staff, and Jisung could feel a little bit beginning to flower under his skin as well. NCT Dream has been eight for a while now, and they’ve been preparing as eight far before they planned to do this season of 7llin’.

Jisung knew that this was the last thing that Y/N needed to be feeling with all the readjustments that NCT had needed to make in their performances. Y/N was already feeling like extra weight, and Jisung was scrambling to find ways to make him feel otherwise.

“Or me.” Jisung turned around and took both of Y/N’s hands in his, making Y/N snap to attention and out of his pensive daze. Caressing Y/N’s knuckles, kneading his fingers into his palms, Jisung gestured up the stairs with a bright smile on his face. The idea of waking up on an ivory-lit morning with Y/N gently stirring in his arms, it reminded Jisung of all the mornings they never sleep through but still linger in each other’s embrace in anyways. “Come sleep with me, Y/N…”

“I-” Y/N wanted to accept the offer - he wanted to so badly. Nothing helps unravel Y/N’s ache quite like being under the weightlessness of Jisung’s touch and wrapped up in the warmth of his heartbeat as he would always bring Y/N on top of his chest during their aimless cuddling sessions. However, everything in him was drawing him towards the opposite. The last thing Y/N wanted to do was to surround Jisung with how anxious and deflated he’s been feeling. Seeing how happy Jisung was to do another season of 7llin’, and seeing the smile that’s been on Jisung’s face since the morning only made accepting his offer that much more difficult. “It’s okay, I think I’ll just take the couch.”

“Really?” Jisung wanted to be disappointed, but he wasn’t surprised enough to be. He could practically see the thoughts running through Y/N’s head with the way the glimmers shone in his eyes. However, understanding what Y/N was thinking didn’t mean that he couldn’t let a pout shine through. It only deepened as Y/N reached out to squish his cheeks, a hopeless attempt to get it to fade away. “Just because the managers forgot doesn’t mean we did…”

“I know, I just don’t want to make a thing out of it.”

“My offer still stands, though.” Shaking his head, Jisung gestured toward the coffee table ahead of the couch Y/N was going to sleep on. It was so far from upstairs, so far from Jisung’s room - where he wanted Y/N to be. But he respected Y/N’s choice to give himself space to feel his emotions, to talk through them with himself first. “It’s still on the table, right there, on that table.”

However, he missed when Y/N would just sit between Jisung’s legs, pressed up against his chest, and just spend the next few hours spilling out his emotions; now all Y/N sees himself as is a chore. As if Jisung wouldn’t kill to have another one of those evening therapy sessions in the middle of their room.

As close as they are, Jisung really hasn’t been able to spend much time with Y/N. Their schedules were so disjointed until now, that the only time he could’ve ever seen him was when he caught Y/N in the hallway to check if he’d eaten yet. At least Y/N being here with the rest of NCT Dream will give them more time to spend together, and give Jisung more opportunities to give Y/N some of his favourite clothes.

“I can see it, standing there on the table.” Y/N smiled into Jisung’s hands as it was his turn to reach out and hold Y/N’s face in them. Even Y/N’s realized how little time they’ve truly had to spend with each other nowadays.

“Good, I’m glad you can see it. It’s right there when you need it-”

“Thanks, Sungie.”

Jisung’s touch lingered on Y/N’s jaw, caressing his neck before Jisung made his way upstairs, splitting off from Renjun into his own separate room. Before completely disappearing past the door frame, he jokingly gestured toward the coffee table one more time with a radiant smile.

Y/N couldn’t help but let his laughter pool at the bottom of the stairs, where he was left to play with the shadows of Jisung’s touch that always managed to sting like setting sunlight.

Looking over to the couch with a sigh, Y/N rushed over to help the staff set it up for him. But as he was straightening out blankets and choosing between pillows they offered him, he couldn’t help but stare back up to Jisung’s half-open door. It was taunting him, the way it so slyly hung on its hinges made Y/N want to run up there and bound over to where Jisung was probably laying in bed already. He could almost see Jisung’s arms instantly dropping his phone and opening for Y/N to fall right in.

The ‘offer’ Jisung has on the table is starting to look better than Y/N thought.

Jisung stretched himself out on his bed, letting out a weak and defeated sigh as he felt the empty space between his arms instead of the waist that would usually be there. There were no ripples in the sheets, as Y/N always woke Jisung up by gently stirring in his hands, and brought Jisung ever closer with the sounds of his incoherent mumbling he always buried into Jisung’s chest.

Sometimes, when the ivory sunlight sang shimmers into Y/N’s skin in just the right way, Jisung would let his hands wander, fingers tracing the curves of Y/N’s sun-stained silhouette until Y/N would finally show a smile. He’d reveal all the moonlight they kept just between them whenever Jisung would pull Y/N closer and beg him to stay the night under Jisung’s sheets.

He missed those times when things used to collide in such a perfect way they’d often joke that it was by design. Now, everything feels like it's swinging off its hinges, acting in a disorder Jisung hadn’t felt since they weren’t even friends. Wherever Jisung was, Y/N wasn’t, and whatever Jisung was doing, Y/N couldn’t with all their mismatched schedules leaving them too disoriented to focus on the stars in one another’s eyes anymore.

Jisung thought for a moment, though. Y/N wasn’t as far as he usually was. If Jisung were to squeeze himself through that sunlit crack in the door he’d see Y/N just over the railing, probably in a tangle of blankets on the couch and still trying to get to sleep.

He only knew about the sleepless nights Y/N had to go through alone from side conversations between camera people, or from wayward comments from his choreographer as he mumbled to himself between breaks. All he could do was hear about it and do nothing to fix all the strain that he knows Y/N’s been under, always just imagine how Y/N’s just about to snap and crumble and how he can’t simply run out the door and take Y/N up into his arms - wherever he is.

Y/N would always joke about how he slept best in Jisung’s embrace, how he couldn’t get any rest unless Jisung was holding him. Jisung didn’t know how true that actually was until one day, Jisung woke up to see Y/N struggling to shake the stale moonlight from his shoulders. The deep flush on Y/N’s cheeks that would always make Jisung just want to reach out and hold him was nothing but scattered ashes, a colourlessness that made Jisung’s heart shatter.

Jisung remembered instantly bolting out of bed just to pull Y/N in and take him back down into it, letting the sunlight dry out under their hands as Jisung felt Y/N collapse near-instantly in his arms. It made him so happy to waste a day away once more with Y/N, but he never wants to see him like that ever again.

That was one of many reasons why Jisung wanted Y/N to take his offer. Jisung wished he forced him a little bit more, pulled him in by the waist with a smile as bright as he could muster to see if he could make Y/N cave in. Because he knew that they were both happiest when they were tied up in each other’s embrace with nowhere else to go.

Peeling himself out of bed and making his way downstairs, Jisung instantly found the dullness in his breath brightening up the moment he could see Y/N’s head peeking out of the bundles of blankets on the couch. As he made his way closer, wrapping around the coffee table - where he could still see his offer to slip into Jisung’s bed and into his arms standing tall - he sighed when he saw Y/N’s eyes struggling to close in an attempt to get any sleep.

The last time Jisung witnessed the sky changing colour, he was with Y/N, conquering the night until the moonlight had no room to breathe. He knew, though, that this wasn’t Y/N’s first time feeling all the colours in the sky stick between his fingers and weigh him down.

Jisung just wanted to take Y/N’s hands and scrub them clean of all the tireless nights wasting away in front of practice room mirrors. He wanted to be there for him and be with him to make things a little easier, but the only way he could do that was through constant texts that could only do so much.

“Hey, Y/N.” Jisung kneeled by the couch, announcing his presence with a gentle shake to Y/N’s shoulder that took him swiftly out of his half-sleeping daze. He leaned into Y/N’s shoulder, burying his voice into his neck as he felt himself drown in distant memories of coffee-stained sundays that hung by the loose threads of Y/N’s hoodie. “Did you get any sleep?”

Jisung pressed kisses into Y/N’s shoulder as he spoke, a smile soon molding the shimmers his lips left on Y/N’s skin as he slung an arm around Jisung’s neck to caress at his nape. Giving in to his failed attempt to speak, Jisung just let all of his questions melt into a low, content hum as Y/N kneaded his hand further into Jisung’s skin.

“Yeah, actually.” Grumbling into Jisung’s hair before he pushed himself up with a groan, he couldn’t help but share Jisung’s smile as they just took a second to look into each other’s eyes. As much as Y/N didn’t want to think about how long it’s been since he could just take a moment to breathe - only to lose all his air the moment he stares just a little too long at Jisung - all he could feel was just pure relief. The relief, though, just made him realize how much stress he’s been under, how much he’s needed to hold up without Jisung’s hands there to hold him steady. “I’ll get up in a bit?”

As much as Jisung wanted to believe Y/N, as much as he wanted to just take his word for the trying smile he kept on his lips until Jisung let his attentive gaze slip and catch the camera crew start to set up their stuff for the morning; he knew he couldn’t. Jisung could admit that he wasn’t always the most perceptive when it came to anything. Despite how tall he was, things just seemed to go over his head.

Not with Y/N, though. Sadly, he’s seen too many of his strained smiles and too much of the burned-out glimmer in his eyes to not know Y/N’s lies when he sees or hears them. It was never about anything trivial, not about stolen food from the fridge or about clothes he’d ‘borrow’ that Jisung would just let him keep anyways. Only about the big things, about how he could always push himself a bit more, and about how he’s fine despite his body threatening to burst at its worn seams and crumble with so much as a pat to the shoulder.

“You’re a terrible liar.” Jisung said curtly with a pout, giving Y/N no room to speak as he peeled Y/N from the blankets on the couch and tugged him by the wrist back over to the stairs. He wasn’t going to let Y/N slip through his hands again. “Come on.”

“I- Jisung-”

“You need sleep, Y/N. I’m not just gonna sit here and watch you wear yourself thin again.” Jisung instantly halted Y/N’s protests, pulling him close and nudging their noses together as they stopped at the bottom of the stairs. If they get up there fast enough, maybe the sweetness of the dawn’s blue light could still be waiting on the other side of Jisung’s bed that he hasn't touched yet. “Can you please just come to bed with me? We could sleep in a couple more hours before activities start…”

“Okay. Thank you, Sungie…” Y/N’s words spilled from his tongue in nothing but a silent angle of breaths. He couldn’t even think about saying anything but yet as he stared into the stars that circled Jisung’s eyes as he pursed his lips in anticipation.

As Jisung let out a little squeak of excitement, Y/N couldn’t help but melt into Jisung’s touch as it guided him up the stairs. By the time Y/N was close to building himself back up, tying back up the ends that Jisung would end up unravelling all over again with the slightest glance of his bright smile, they found themselves in Jisung’s room.

“Of course... I didn’t think I’d ever need to beg for your cuddles.”

“I…” Y/N didn’t feel the longing in Jisung’s words until too late, until Jisung was already nudging Y/N closer to the bed and lifting the covers for him to slide inside. He could see the faint blues, remnants of the dawn being flung up from the folds in Jisung’s sheets as they stretched out the covers a little bit more. Jisung really was waiting for him…

“I understand why you think I might want space, but I don’t want it.” Jisung said as he watched Y/N finally get into his bed and shuffle under the covers with a content smile, one that always brought Jisung so much joy whenever he was able to drown in its glow.

In Y/N’s light was the only place he loves to be, wading through every shine in Y/N’s eyes, breathing in every echoed word they’ve ever sleepily murmured to each other in hollow practice rooms. A perpetual slip and fall into nowhere and everywhere, that’s what it was. And Jisung knew that he’ll never be able to feel the ground again for as long as Y/N’s hands stay wandering in his, for as long as he can feel Y/N’s heartbeat shake him to his core on those nights where they had nothing but one another to lean on.

For as long as Y/N will keep wanting him, keep missing him for the split seconds he isn’t there. That’s how long Jisung will stay swept off his feet with nowhere to land but Y/N’s embrace.

And finally being able to feel it after so long, Y/N’s hand in his, being able to let his cautious and shy kisses fuel the fires in Y/N’s blush once again, Jisung always realizes too soon yet too late how much he missed Y/N until he’s right there. With the way Y/N looked up at him from the bed, such a relaxed shimmer in his eyes, such ease in his smile, all Jisung wanted to do was slip in right next to him.

“We literally haven’t spent time like this in so long... I’m so glad to be here with you, and with Dream. It’s everything I could ever ask for…” To hear those words leave Jisung’s lips as he made his way next to Y/N, and to feel them stick to Y/N’s skin like honey, made his smile so much brighter. “It would’ve been even better if they got you a bed-”

“Sungie…”

Y/N reached out and pinched at one of Jisung’s cheeks, watching a defeated pout bloom on Jisung’s face. Jisung just followed Y/N’s hand, pushing himself further into the pull of Y/N’s gravity as he tucked himself into the space in the sheets he wrapped around Y/N. His arms instantly curled around Y/N’s shoulders to bring him closer, taking him in and sinking into the remnants of his cologne that always manage to linger on Y/N’s neck in the best way.

Jisung buried himself further in the curve of Y/N’s neck when he felt Y/N melt further into his embrace. He pulled Y/N in more and more with a deep breath to run down Y/N’s nape, bringing Y/N between his legs and wrapping them around his hips.

The way Y/N just relaxed in his tangle of limbs made him want to stay here - and keep Y/N there forever.

“May I ask what’s going on here…?” Y/N ran his hands across the outside of Jisung’s thigh, running his fingers up to Jisung’s ankles, and winced with a giggle as he felt Jisung flinch under his mischievous touch. “It's oddly comfortable.”

“It’s my one-hundred percent hug. Our hug at its fullest potential.” Jisung fastened his grip just a little bit more - both his arms and his legs - and he let a little bit of laughter free when Y/N snuggled further into his embrace with a peaceful, satisfied grin that Jisung could feel the glow of even as he was still buried in Y/N’s neck.

He didn’t expect Y/N to be surprised by the gesture, but a lot of time has passed since they were able to be in each other’s space like this; with Y/N liking his personal space, and Jisung liking Y/N’s personal space. Everything can finally be perfect again, the pieces of their long-lost sunlight finally sliding back into place with their slowly entwining fingers and the impulses Jisung followed in his small, delicate kisses up and behind Y/N’s ear.

“You don’t remember when we used to do this all the time?”

“Jisung, I…” Y/N felt so awful with how many parts of what used to be their everyday routine have slipped his mind.

“I get it, I literally haven’t seen you in weeks with how much you’ve been practicing and all they’ve been putting you through.” Jisung untangled their intertwined fingers to caress Y/N’s knuckles, he wanted to smile fondly at the deep breath that Y/N took under his words, but it just made him feel more frustrated with what Y/N’s been put through all to ‘catch up’ with Dream and the rest of NCT. “You just work so hard and don’t expect any comfort. That’s all I wanted and want to do - comfort you…”

Jisung held Y/N tighter, thinking about the time their friendship shone brightest. How Y/N would always show up at Jisung’s door to fall into his arms and rant, talk or even just fall asleep to the melody of Jisung’s heartbeat - a sound of pure comfort that he couldn’t find anywhere else. After a while, those visits to their shared room became less and less frequent, and the bed next to Jisung’s, even the space next to Jisung on his own bed whenever he offered his cuddles, was empty on more and more of Jisung’s early mornings. Jisung was the first person that Y/N ever went to, and he missed that feeling of being Y/N’s safe place, of being the place he would always feel the most secure and happy and free.

He wasn’t able to know how much Y/N was struggling, how much he was hurting, and how drained and worn down he truly was. He couldn’t see it or hear about it or have Y/N in his arms to feel him relax - and so Y/N didn’t. Y/N never got to relax, as there was always something being put between him and rushing back to his dorm to get a quick hug and a tender kiss to his cheek before needing to head back out into the night and grind it down under his sneakers in practice. Jisung never got to just hold Y/N by his waist and tell him that he was doing amazing…

“You’re doing such a great job, Y/N, you really are. I know taking a break is easier said than done, but I miss being your safe place and the one you always go to.” Jisung longed for Y/N to just show up anywhere but in text bubbles on his phone screen, for him to come through their dorm room door once more to just fall into Jisung’s arms, and for Jisung to help shove all those weights off Y/N’s shoulders as he took him in and wrapped him up in one of their ‘one-hundred percent hugs’. He knew that a part of it was due to how Y/N’s been seeing himself as a burden lately, especially with the day of his on-stage debut with NCT Dream enclosing on them more and more making Y/N feel like he was nothing but extra weight on the spotlight.

Jisung’s never been able to move his hands to Y/N’s cheeks and tell him firmly that he was nothing but a blessing to their team and make up for the months where Jisung’s actions said otherwise.

“I just want you to know that you can come to me, that’s all. Nothing’s too far out of my way if it’s for you; you know I’d do anything for you.” Jisung eased his grasp on Y/N for just a moment to let him turn around and meet his eyes. He could finally see Y/N’s smile, the way it glowed, and how it shone with all the sunlight they couldn’t share this morning - it made the restless night that Jisung waited all worth it. Jisung tucked a lock of Y/N’s hair behind his ear and smoothed his thumb against his cheek, Y/N’s soft chuckle trickling from his lips pulling Jisung in. “Give me a call and I’ll be there in seconds.”

“I’ll come to you more, I promise…” Y/N knew that he was anxious about going to anybody about anything, even someone he loved and trusted as much as Jisung. But what he constantly failed to realize beyond how his choreographers treated him like an afterthought, how his vocal coaches make him feel as if he is just going to fade into nothing, there are twenty-three people who love him and care for him. Among those twenty-three is one in particular, one whose love should shine through all the shadows he’s surrounded himself with. “And if you’re not there in seconds…? Do I get my order for free?”

“Order of what?” Jisung chuckled, putting his guard up for a punchline.

“My order of Jisung kisses.”

Sighing with a giggle, Jisung rested his forehead on Y/N’s and laced their fingers together.

“My kisses are always free of charge...” Jisung leaned in as his voice died down, taking whatever was left of their voices in the sunlight between their lips as they slowly and softly entwined them. The melodies of the late morning sang between their teeth, Jisung taking Y/N’s jaw in his hand to bring him closer. “Maybe except for my ‘snuggle tax’...”

They pulled back with smiles, the burn of the sparks they always set alight between each other finally beginning to settle in. The hums strung together by their slowly untying lips snapping off into the silence of their breathlessness. Despite these types of kisses being a rarity between them - Jisung taking in the shine between Y/N’s teeth only when the moonlight hung still over one of their few truly quiet, peaceful moments - they were always like this. They could work it down to a science as fine as the air in Jisung’s chest whenever Y/N’s touch would settle in all the right places.

“The only tax I’ll ever pay.”

The moment Y/N and Jisung would pull back and leave the fires under their skin to bloom into the most beautiful flowers, that was the moment when they realize, over and over again, how their kisses make them feel. So new yet the exact same every single time, Jisung’s kisses on Y/N’s smile were something special.

“Better get to paying then.” Jisung watched with a smile as Y/N turned around in his embrace, fingertips running up and down Jisung’s legs in the gentlest, most delicate way before Jisung took Y/N’s hands and tied them together again. Y/N hummed as Jisung squeezed tighter and buried a grin into Y/N’s neck before falling back to his place behind Y/N’s shoulders, legs around Y/N’s waist.

He could feel Y/N already beginning to slip away, all the tension in his shoulders fading the moment Jisung wrapped his arms and legs around Y/N again. Y/N just felt so alright, as if the pressures that lingered right outside the doors of this room just didn’t matter. It made falling asleep and letting them stay there so easy…

“Y/N…?” Jisung leaned over to whisper in Y/N’s ear, unaware of how quickly Y/N fell asleep in his arms, but as soon as he saw Y/N’s peacefully closed eyes and the remnants of their tangled shine on his lips, he froze over Y/N. He just chuckled and kissed Y/N’s cheek before leaning back, so glad that Y/N finally had the room - and felt like he could have the room - to relax and unwind. There was no better place to unravel but under the weight of Jisung’s hands. “Finally-”

“RISE AND SHINE, BITCHES!”

Jisung snapped up to the blaring voice that came spilling in through the doorway, and he scrambled to silence it. The moment a still screeching Haechan rounded the corner to the bed where Jisung was doing everything in his power to keep Y/N sound asleep, Jisung took his pillow and threw it as hard as he could near Haechan’s face. The moment he realized what he did was when Haechan looked over in shock from his crouched position on the ground, hands still grasping at his head from the mere shock that not only did Jisung try to throw something at him, but the fact that he dodged it.

Jisung wanted to care about the awe on Haechan’s face, but he couldn’t with a stirring Y/N in his arms, moments away from waking up. He couldn’t let that happen.

“Uh, good morning to you too, I guess.” Haechan picked up the pillow and squinted over to see Jisung hunched over a Y/N shaped impression in the blankets.

“You really know how to make an entrance at the worst times.” Jisung shuffled back and reached for his phone, his stare more intense than playful. Haechan only saw the sarcasm in his eyes, though. “One more step and I call Jeno.”

“Oh yeah, because he’s definitely gonna be awake to get your call.” Haechan retorted, only to see Jisung roll his eyes. He lifted an eyebrow as he could see Jisung’s eyes swiftly soften, but Jisung was far from relenting on his threat to get Jeno to drag him out of the room. “What’re you giving me that look for? I just came to wake you up.”

“That’s great and all, but can you please let Y/N sleep? He’s been up all night.” Jisung looked back down to Y/N to see him still sound asleep. Part of him was glad, but another knew that a whole night awake - watching the stars die out as the horizon bled gold and silver through the violets of the night - was probably the reason Y/N could sleep through all of this. “Please…? You can make our lives hell later.”

Haechan took one more look at Y/N sleeping in Jisung’s arms. He wasn’t as close to Y/N as Jisung was - nobody was - but as a member of NCT Dream, he knows about everything that the company has put him through recently. If anybody deserves a break, any sort of rest or comfort, it was Y/N. Shrugging his shoulders with a sigh, Haechan not-so-reluctantly surrendered with a pout, backing away from the bed.

“Fine…” Haechan grumbled, looking over at how peaceful Y/N looked, how Y/N finally got to grasp what quiet felt like. Turning around, he closed the door softly behind him, probably bounding over to Jeno and Jaemin’s room to do the exact same thing.

“Did you just threaten Haechan…?” Jisung flinched as he heard Y/N’s voice slowly trickle out into the golds of the sunlit air, and then chuckled as he saw the irony in Y/N only stirring awake the moment Haechan left the room.

Saying nothing, letting only a casual hum come from his lips, Jisung nodded and nudged Y/N’s cheek with his nose.

“Hot…”

“Oh really, I’m hot? I never noticed.” Jisung arched an eyebrow and lifted himself up to hang over Y/N again, pressing one of Y/N’s hands down into the mattress and tangling their fingers together. He took so much pleasure in how Y/N scoffed at his smirk, and how the light in his eyes shone just right.

“I hate you…” Y/N made a futile attempt at trying to get Jisung off of him with a push to his shoulders, but that only made it worse, as Jisung did nothing but lean into his touch and scrunch up his nose.

“I hate you too, my love.” He nudged Y/N again, hands on his waist poking into his stomach before he settled back to where he was. Jisung relished in the way those words stumbled from his tongue so haphazardly, as he doesn’t often use words like that for Y/N, at least not out loud. However, they sound so right, as if he’s meant to call Y/N by those names, and as if he was supposed to carve out those words in Y/N’s sky and Y/N’s sky only.

“Glad we agree.” Y/N sighed as Jisung’s arms made their way back around him, and he already felt himself soaking in Jisung’s warmth all over again. “You know, NCTzens are gonna get a kick out of seeing you spooning me.” He said, remembering how all the camera equipment the staff were hauling into the building during the night - one of the many reasons why he couldn’t sleep. They were bound to record the bedrooms, too. Even Jisung forgot that they were here to film a 7llin’. It’s just what Y/N’s touch and mere presence do to him, making him think only about Y/N and all the ways he can align the stars under his skin.

“I guess they will.” Jisung chuckled, thinking about the reactions already; people making chaos of Jisung’s single exception laying between his arms and legs as if he were always capable of doing that before Y/N brought it out of him. “We might as well throw our ship into the ring at some point - better sooner than later - since I don’t know how long I can hold back from loving you on camera…” Wrapping his arms around Y/N’s waist, Jisung thought about everything he’s already done on camera, things he’s considered ‘holding back’.

Holding onto Y/N’s hands for an awkwardly long time that was just long enough, grabbing Y/N by the waist and dragging him into the frame of their vlive as he was about to walk out of it, trying his best to take Y/N to the ground during one of their dance practices, only for Y/N to leave him on his back instead. He started there, and he was far from stopping.

“You’ve been holding back this whole time?” Y/N craned his neck to take a look at Jisung’s radiant grin before sighing - half its melody of defeat, accepting that Jisung will never stop loving him, and half in pride and happiness, knowing that Jisung will never stop loving him.

“Yeah, exactly.” Jisung buried his face further in Y/N’s shoulder, smiling into the daylight as it began to sweep them both away. He knew that it was easy for Y/N to fall asleep in his embrace, but it always took him until too late to realize that holding Y/N brought him more peace than he could ever find anywhere else.

As they fell into each other’s warmth, they failed to notice a cautiously approaching Haechan, squeezing himself through the crack in the door and rounding the corner. He instantly flinched, ducking upon entry like a reflex, expecting Jisung to throw another pillow at him. But he chuckled softly as he looked over to see them both sound asleep, Jisung impossibly closer to Y/N than he already was, their hands tied together in a way that made even Haechan’s heart nearly burst. He’s never been more proud of Jisung and their newest member, but this pride soon turned into something a little more devilish as he whipped out his phone and crept up to get better angles.

“I am definitely using this for blackmail later…” Haechan let out a sinister giggle before wrapping himself back around the corner. On his way out, he whipped his head up to see Chenle parading over, weaseling through the door to scream at the top of his lungs.

“GOOD MORNING-”

Haechan slapped his hand over Chenle’s mouth, stopping his screech to wake Y/N and Jisung up in its tracks, and dragged him out, grumbling under his breath as he closed the door quietly with an endeared smile.

"I love you...” Jisung mumbled in his sleep, the slightest feeling of Y/N’s skin under his fingertips, even the most faded light in Y/N’s eyes or smile or laughter, and that was all Jisung could think about. That one thing; how much he loved him.

He didn’t need a response, he never needed Y/N to say anything back, return all his affections with an even more radiant grin. As all their moments together, from their loudest moments stuck in pale, sickly lit practice rooms or caught in the complete disorder that their group always manages to create, to their quietest moments, where there was nothing between them but comfortable silence.

All their moments spoke for everything Y/N says and doesn’t say, everything he feels, and everything he can’t until he’s under Jisung’s spotlight.

“I love you too...”

359 notes · View notes

foolsunz · 6 months

Text

𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥…

— nct dream as different kink based scenarios.

content warnings: smut, unprotected sex + more. this is pure self indulgent filth. word count: 2,6K.

౨₊ৎ Mark

fingering, BEGGING (</3) and edging.

you let a whimper and a soft ‘please’ escape you, wanting to come so bad already, but unfortunately for you, your boyfriend, mark, has other plans.

leaning down, he places a soft peck on your stomach before placing several open mouthed, hungry kisses on your inner thighs, so close to where you want him.

“tsk, i thought i taught you better than that, princess,” mark quips, the condescending tone sending waves of heat up your spine.

he gathers the cum leaking from your cunt and pushes it back inside, causing a loud moan to escape your parted lips.

mark watches as your hips buck and squirm from every breath on his lips on your glistening cunt. getting lost in your eyes, he finally seals his lips over your clit again and begins sucking, softly.

“y/n, you have to use your words…”

you feel your lower lip trembling, and your eyes already having tears welling in them. “please, baby—” you beg shamelessly, breathless moans escaping you and filling mark’s ears, making his cock twitch.

he flicks his tongue from side to side so your only reply will be another moan, another plead.

“p-please.”

“please what?” he smiles devilishly, draping your legs over his shoulders as he inserts a second finger in your dripping hole. he circles his tongue around your throbbing, swollen clit, working his two fingers into your tight hole. “words, sweetheart. tell me what you want.”

your pleading and screams get louder as mark’s fingers move faster, his thumb working your clit in circles. He pushes another finger in, finding your sweet spot as your thighs begin to shake. “please…make me come— please, markie.”

you let your head flop back on the bed; just panting and moaning as he presses three fingers inside you.

“mhm, you look so pretty like this,” he smiles, gazing up at you, “sucking all three of my fingers in. fuck, i bet you want my cock. bet you want me to fuck your throat raw until you can’t speak for a day, hm?”

“yes! fuck, mark, please—‘m gonna cum,” you moan.

each thrust of his fingers causes you to lose track of time and space and you can’t help but feel the tears pooling in your eyes.

mark waits until you’re on the cusp of your orgasm to stop his ministrations, and take his fingers out in one swift movement.

“no no no no, why— fuck, why did you stop?” you cry, your body arching off the bed as much as you can to try and get any touch from him.

you whimper when he gently pushes you back down.

tears stream down your cheeks, a pathetic pout etched on your face, and mark can’t help but smile as he kisses the expression off.

“please,” you’re saying, over and over again in a small, desperate tone.

“please, baby— please, please, please,” you beg a few more times, but in that defeated, small voice that means you know for a fact you won’t get what you want.

knowing if you beg enough, then maybe, just maybe, he’ll give you what you want.

but you better pray for it.

౨₊ৎ Renjun

spitting, praise kink, body worship and pet names !!!!

“shit, princess,” renjun starts, sucking harshly on your clit with his skilled tongue, “look at the mess you made.”

you groan, wanting to retort, but you’re lost for words. renjun doesn’t say anything, he merely gazes up at you, a mixture of your arousal and his spit glistening on his chin and dripping down his defined jaw.

“you’re fucking dripping,” he smirks mischievously at you, “i can’t wait to watch you fall apart, pretty.”

you babble incoherently, turning into a crying mess as he sucks on your clit like a lollipop, until you begin to shake, quivering uncontrollably as you mewl his name like a mantra.

“shh, shh. you’re doing so good, baby girl, you look so pretty. just keep going like this, okay angel?” he whispers breathily. “can you do that for me?”

crying out at the praise, you can’t help but nod hesitantly, causing him to smile as he begins tonguing your aching hole while his two fingers work on your clit, rubbing vigorously.

finally you hear him continue to praise you, whispering sweet nothings against your clit as he finger fucks you; and your senses can’t help but get overwhelmed.

there’s too much going on, and all you can - and will focus on, is renjun, renjun, renjun.

“fuck, junnie—” you whine pathetically, clenching around his long fingers and making him groan against your cunt.

just before you can come, renjun kisses up your body, making you whimper as you quiver around his hot breath against your lips.

“say ahh, baby girl,” he smiles, gripping your cheeks and slapping them, demanding you to: “open your mouth.”

you let a gasp escape you as you part your lips, letting him spit in your mouth before firmly grabbing your jaw and following up with a question of, “who do you belong to, huh?”

“you!”

“mhm ‘s that right?” he smirks, mocking you as he smears the spit all over your lips and face. “yeah? that’s a good fucking slut.”

his fingers thrust faster inside your hole and his thumb continues to rub your clit, determined to make you come and make you see stars.

you cry out in pleasure, and when you orgasm for the fourth time, renjun comes, untouched, his cock pulsing against your thigh as he writhes in pleasure; the feeling of you cumming enough to make him come undone, his cum staining his boxers.

౨₊ৎ Jeno

face fucking, degradation & corruption/innocence kink. 😵‍💫

“more jen,” you beg pathetically as you look up at jeno with the prettiest doe eyes.

you open your mouth, sticking your tongue out flat and inviting more of him in as he slowly slides his cock inside your small, soft mouth.

but it isn’t enough for you. “please, ngh i want— i need more.”

it’s like a switch is flipped, your usually sweet and careful boyfriend who always treats you like you’re made of glass, finally snapping and becoming rough with you; animalistic moans escaping him as he begins fucking your face.

“greedy fucking slut,” he snarls, tangling his fingers in your hair as he thrusts his cock down your throat. “you want more, huh? i’ll fucking give it to you.”

he moves his hand from your jaw to the back of your head, holding you steady as you keep bobbing your head and swallowing around his length.

“take it, slut,” he growls, thrusting harder and almost forgetting it’s your mouth he’s fucking, and not a toy. “shit… baby, that feels so good.”

you gag around him, drooling all over yourself as mascara cascades down your cheeks and your perfectly applied red lipstick a mess, all smudged from having your plush lips wrapped around your boyfriend’s dick.

you feel your throat beginning to burn and you can barely see his face due to the tears welling in your eyes, but you still want more. you want to please him, and take him - all of him; wanting him to move faster, deeper, until you’re a trembling mess and can’t breathe.

jeno hisses before yanking your hair harshly and thrusting back into your mouth, “you’re such a dirty little whore… fuck— you love choking around my cock, don’t you, slut?”

humming in agreement around him, he lets a loud whimper escape him as he bites his bottom lip.

he can’t help but wipe away your tears as he fucks your tight throat and pretty face into a drooling, needy mess. your boyfriend moans loudly, tangling his fingers into your hair before increasing his pace.

“oh yeah?” he growls, pushing your head down to make sure you choke around him and taste every inch of him. “let’s see how much you can take before you start crying like a little girl and beg for air.”

౨₊ৎ Haechan

dacryphilia, squirting (!!!!!) and pet names 😫😫

“please fuck— yes, hyuck, nggh don’t stop,” you mewl, barely able to make out coherent sentences as you babble nonsense with the need to cum.

you know at this point, your brain is purely focused on haechan’s mouth on you; the way he grinds against the mattress to relieve himself as he pleasures you with his mouth and fingers, the sweet sounds escaping the both of you…

you know you aren’t going to last long.

haechan gazes up at you through hooded eyes, you can feel him smirk against your cunt as he devours you, listening to your pleas.

he’s more than practiced at making you fall apart and making you cry and scream his name, which is why he has a new mission to be fulfilled: to make you squirt.

and, since he knows your body better than you do, he knows the only way to make that happen, is to edge you first.

so that is what he decides to do.

his wet lips closes around your throbbing clit, sucking harshly as his eyes focuses on the expressions you are making, taking in each of them in and memorising what makes you feel good.

and without a warning, he inserts two of his fingers inside of you, curling them and hitting the spot you love oh so much.

you can’t help but scream his name and arch your back for more.

“that’s the spot, huh pretty?” he smirks, moaning as he feels your walls clench around his digits. “shit, you like it when i touch this spot, don’t you?”

you bite your lips, tears streaming down your cheeks as you desperately hump haechan’s fingers, his wet tongue, and his pretty face; searching for release.

with every breath you take, soft whimpers and ‘oh my god’s’ leave your lips.

“you gonna come for me, princess?”

you nod vigorously, lust practically plastered in your eyes as his fingers and tongue begins to match the pace of your rocking hips.

“h—hyuck…” you whimper as you twitch, moaning as he leaves bite marks alongside the many other bruises that litter your body from his mouth. “god, i’m gonna—fuck!”

you sob when you feel his breath against your core, “let it go, baby,” he growls as he sucks and licks your clit with a moderate amount of pressure. “cum for me.”

he smirks when he sees tears sliding down your cheeks, “you’re so so so beautiful when you cry for me, angel…”

“so fucking pretty,” he moans, the thrusts of his fingers getting rougher and rougher every time you let out a sound.

“fuck— baby girl, i wanna see you shower the fucking sheets… wanna watch you cry, hear you scream. let it all out, baby, soak my fucking hand.”

“no, wait—” you start, but it’s too late.

you feel the sudden sound of fluids gushing down the side of your knees, soaking your inner thighs as tears of humiliation burn down your cheeks.

you feel embarrassed, mortified in fact but, hyuck merely makes a seal with his lips and sucks your clit so hard that it’s enough to clutter your vision as you gush around his fingers and mouth.

“shit— that’s it, squirt for me. fuck, just like that, that’s my girl.”

౨₊ৎ Jaemin

overstimulation, face sitting & auralism <3333

“fuck— i need to taste you now,” he groans, his lips immediately finding your tits, pulling down the cups of your bra to get better access to your nipples. he latches on to your nipple, sucking firmly while kneading the other in circular motions. “c’mere baby, sit on my face.”

he wastes no time in finding your swollen clit with his tongue, wrapping his arms around your thighs and burying his face deeper into your wet pussy.

as he sucks on your clit, he looks up at you; his eyes focusing on you and your facial expressions.

he loves the small gasps and moans you let out, but he wants you to scream for him.

“are you holding back?” he asks, his tongue swirling around your clit faster, his moans causing vibrations that had you whimpering his name.

“don’t. i wanna hear your pretty little moans.” he adds, urging you to scream for him.

you feel yourself getting closer to your release as he speeds up his ministrations, and when you finally come with a scream of his name and a yank of his hair, he laps up your spill of juices dutifully, cleaning up every last drop as you come down from your high.

“oh? you thought i was done?” he poses, “no no, baby, you can take one more for me, right?”

౨₊ৎ Chenle

exhibitionism & dumbification 🥵

“chenle,” you plead, your voice thick with tears as you try your best to stop yourself from rolling your hips against his, “there’s people nearby— oh my god, we’ll get caught.”

“fuck them,” he groans into your ear before looking up at you, his deep voice and gaze sending shivers down your spine. “let them walk in, I don’t give a shit.”

you feel your thighs begin to quiver and shake as he continues having his way with you, fucking and using you like a rag doll, and just when you feel your legs almost give out from under you, chenle grabs your hips and wraps them around his waist as he keeps fucking you.

for a quick second, you’re grateful, but that’s until you realise this new angle has his dick drilling even further into your cunt.

“oh my god,” you cry out, “we can’t— chenle… you’re crazy.”

he just smiles at you, looking into your eyes; knowing they’re saying a differing story. thrusting his hips in deeper, he hisses as your hot walls squeeze around him, groaning loudly before he begins rubbing your clit in fast circles.

“tell me to stop,” he purrs seductively, kissing at your jaw before trailing kisses along your neck, “fuck— say you don’t want this as much as i do, and i’ll stop.”

the way your eyes roll into the back of your head has the blood rushing right to chenle’s cock. you both know for a fact you won’t tell him to stop, and when he begins thrusting faster, setting a relentless and merciless pace, you can’t help but give in and moan his name like a prayer as you fall apart.

“that’s my fucking girl,” he smirks proudly, picking up his pace, letting his movements do the talking for him. “shit, that’s it, baby… scream my name, let them hear you.”

౨₊ৎ Jisung

breeding and dacryphilia <3

“you wanna cum?” he questions, placing your legs over his shoulders as his pace quickens, a choked moan falling from your lips at the feeling.

you nod vigorously, your voice already slipping into a little whimper as you squeeze your eyes.

“fuck, baby… ‘m gonna fill you up good,” he purrs, thrusting forward, loosening his grip on your waist until his cock is fully sheathed inside your gspot.

“that’s the spot, right baby?” he growls animalistically, teasing you with a few shallow, yet powerful and merciless thrusts, as you wrap your legs around his waist, trying to feel more of him inside you.

“oh my god, jisung— fuck, right there,” you moan, feeling his groans echoing throughout your body, as he leans forward, placing his hands on either side of your head and leaning down to kiss you deeply, hungrily; biting your bottom lip and making you gasp. “please, i want you to come inside of me.”

“yeah, babe?”

jisung smiles devilishly, quickening to a brutal pace as he trails a hand down to massage your throbbing clit.

“want me to fill you up with my cum over and over again? get you pregnant?” he whispers, loving the way your entire body shakes and reacts to the thought of him knocking you up.

3K notes · View notes

luviestarz · 1 month

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park jisung fic recs!

✰ drunk jisung is clingy… and kiss-driven - @asteroidsung (you didn’t take bestfriend!jisung to be an affectionate drunk, thinking he would be the type to be sleepy and quiet. clearly, you’re mistaken. and oh how good it feels to be wrong.)

✰ Heart Band-Aids - @tynct (you and jisung separate from the others at an amusement, and he buys you heart band-aids)

✰ HAUNT ME, BABY! — PJS - @ukiyoexo (when you see a ghost, you’re supposed to be scared right? yeah, that’s what jisung thought too until he met you. a night spent in boredom leads you to lighting random candles and attempting to summon a ghost. you never expected it to work — or for the spirit to be so cute.)

✰ 8 letters | park jisung - @xiaodejunletsact (4 years ago, you and jisung’s long term friendship came to an abrupt end. now in senior year, the two of you find yourselves being forced together again by your mothers. suddenly, jisung begins to ask himself what is more important: his reputation or you.)

✰ sweeter than honey. - @luvdsc (you and jisung are too busy being the biggest simps for each other that neither one realizes that, well, both of you are the biggest simps for each other. or alternatively, diamonds (and park jisung) are a girl’s best friend.)

✰ fwb!park jisung x reader - @jenosbigtoe (fwb!jisung but he desperately wants to make you his so he goes the extra mile to show u how much he really wants you)

✰ perv!jisung x reader, braces - @neocentral

✰ Too Young - @loudstan (You thought avoiding Jisung after what happened during his first rut would make the problem go away (SPOILER ALERT: it didn't.)

✰ at midnight with you - @hyuckbeam (your boyfriend just recently got his driver's license, and boy, was he adamant to take you for a ride (with you being just as eager as him).

✰ DO IT AGAIN - @taexoxosgf (your brother’s best friend can never get you alone. that’s why he won’t miss an opportunity— even if your brother’s on the other side of the walls.)

✰ dance practice ; 박지성 - @martiniblues (with you and jisung’s time running thin due to his schedules, you decide to go visit him at practice. when the two of you finally have some time alone, jisung thinks this is the perfect time to mess with you.)

✰ texts w/ bf!jisung! - @haespoir

✰ flirty bf texts. - @ohmygs-blog

✰ FULL MOON — PARK JISUNG - @moonjella (your boyfriend, jisung has his rut and has been avoiding you all day. for the first time his rut has aligned with a full moon making it much more powerful than usual. he's afraid of hurting you, but you show him just how strong you can be and how much of him you can take.)

✰ SCORE THAT GOAL! — smau - @lqfiles (after your college had announced that all the students were required to join a club and attend it twice a week, you were planning on either a) dropping out, or b) join the art club and pretend to be sick most of the times. that was before you discovered that park jisung is a long time member of the football team. change in plans: you LOVE football.)

✰ Teach Me || P.JS - @ihaechans (It's been about ten months since you and Jisung started dating, and not once has he fucked you properly. Yes, he's fucked you multiple times, but you're always on top riding him, or simply using him as you please, leaving him no room to fuck you how he wants to. Finally, he musters the courage to talk to you about it, and the outcome makes him wish he'd done it sooner.)

✰ jealousy | pjs - @heyjwi (your boyfriend loved watching you perform but today something was different. that angered expression and glaring eyes, what’s wrong with him?)

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he115re · 1 month

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Nice tits

Literally just the dreamies holding/touching your tits :)

MDNI!! , tit holding, nipple play, kissing, teasing?, proof read, uhm might've forgotten something.

Mark

He is the type to mindlessly play with your tits. You're both laying on the couch cuddled up to each other. In your most comfortable clothes, he has an arm over your shoulder while the other holds his phone. He's scrolling mindlessly trying to fill his mind of something as ads roll. The hand by your shoulder slowly slips into your sweater by the collar and immediately finds your soft nipple his cold hands making it harden.

You look at him to see if he's doing it on purpose but to your surprise , he's still mindlessly scrolling. He takes the nub between his fingers and starts lightly tweaking it. You sigh at the feeling, he's done this so much he doesn't even have to think about it.

You put your hand atop his to get his attention and he looks at you confused. He looks down at where his hand is and then at you and gives you an apolagrtic smile going to move his hand "I didn't tell you to stop" you mutter as you move in closer to him.

A boyish smile plasters across his face as you climb on his lap and start kissing his neck. "Would've done this ages ago if I knew you'd act like this". You don't think of protesting to his statement, instead you shut him up by kissing him.

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Renjun

When I tell you he knows you like his hands. He'll take any opportunity to say that. Puts his hand on your thigh and lightly squeezes while he's talking to a friend.

But his favorite activity so far is pulling your shirt up and holding your tits, you'll look down to see his hands and then to him and he'll just smile "thought they needed a holder" he says as he playfully pushes them up. Your nipples between his forefinger and middle finger, he pinches at them before moving to using this thumb to circle the now hard buds "and you said you loved my hands" he whispers in your ear "you can watch them as I play with your tits" he whispers as he kisses just below your earlobe.

Whatever you were doing is forgotten as you lean into his touch. You put your hands on his forearms as he continues go play with your tits. He lightly tugs at the buds watching your face for every reaction as he does so.

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Jeno

Face first into them. He'll come back from the gym and just needs to recharge. He'll drop his bag and crawl on top of you, lifting your shirt up making you giggle as his soft and damp hair tickles your skin. He knows you don't wear a bra while at home so all he needs to do is lay down.

And lay he does, his weight on you like a weighted blanket, his considerably hotter body warming you up. Any protest of him being too warm, too heavy, or stinky fall to deaf ears, he knows you love this about him. He's heard one too many times, of you talking to your friends about it when you think he's asleep.

If you start complaining a little too much though he'll sneak one of his hands up to your tit and gently massage it also lifting his head up so he can take your nipple into his mouth. Instantly your words get caught in your throat at his actions as he rolls the hardening bub between his lips. It's muscle memory at this point, he doesn't need to put much thought into remembering what you like.

He lightly sucks at the bud rolling his tongue along the tip. He release it with a wet pop as he moves his head go to the other resuming the same actions. You put your hand on top of patting it gently "okay-o-kay i-i get it I'll shut up" you say in defeat and he pauses his actions "but please don't stop" you mumble. He smiles and continues pulling you almost impossibly close to him.

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Heachan

Omg gamer alert. He loves playing games but he also loves watching you play games, any kind of game as long as you're passionate about it. Just the intensity of your concentration. You're so in tune that you didn't notice him sneaking up behind you, or when his hands slid under your shirt to grope your breasts.

You only really take notice when he tells you to use a specific item. Now the warmth on your chest makes sense. But you don't bother to say anything "it's extra support" he says as he excuses now playing with your nipples as he watches you play. "Heachan you're distracting me" you protest as you slightly curl into yourself. God if only he didn't know they were so sensitive.

He smirks "oh,don't mind me" he says as he continues now also kissing along your neck. He completely understands why you distract him from his game a whole lot now. A moan slips past your lips as he starts to suck a new hickey onto your neck. You quickly hit pause on your game and try your best to pull him closer to you.

"Fu-fuck this" you mumble as you pull him into a kiss which he gladly accepts. He leans over your chair pushing you deeper into it. Oh now he gets it, the power he feels just from doing this, he could get used to doing this more often.

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Jeamin

Loves watching you dress. Especially when you're still half asleep. The first thing you put on is a some pants. Then you walk around looking for your bra. And when you find it, you waddle on over to him for help. Tho it's not his favorite thing in the world "aw cmon let your tits outs" he'd protest but he does enjoy helping you put the clasps on if you're struggling. He gets to sneakily hold you tits saying he's adjusting the cups.

He also enjoys seeing your shirt bunched up at the top as you try to remember where you left your deodorant. He always comes up behind you and slides one of his hands under the cup of your bra as he reaches up to where it is, he always miss places it so he has the chance to. He squishes at the soft flesh as he leans down to kiss your cheek "you always forget where you put it~" he teases as he puts the deodorant in your hands.

It seems now's the time to forget about getting dressed as you turn your head to capture your lips in his, you don't miss the little smirk as you do so.

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Chenle

Domestic moment! Doesn't usually do it out of the blue, but seeing you doing some menial task like washing the dishes, making your self a snack, standing in the kitchen while he's in there, just doing anything in the kitchen. It fills him with the urge of being close to you. Skin to skin. But he can't since he doesn't want to disturb you.

So he settles for sliding his hands under your shirt, resting his hands on your bare hips and playing with the waistband of your shorts. "Lele what are you doing? " you ask with a slight giggle as he taps his fingers. "Can't I touch the love of my life? " he asks as he lightly squeezes at your hips.

You shake your head "I know what you're doing" you say in faux annoyance. Even if he doesn't do it often you know his ulterior motives. He feigns ignorance as he slides his hands up your hips to your waist "I have no idea what you're talking about". He says smile clear in his voice. His hands keep on wandering until they're at your ribcage just below the swell of your breast.

"Chenle" you say in a warning tone, but just as you utter his name he does the opposite. He easily pushes up your bra and replaces it by cupping your breasts. He smiles to himself as you sigh in defeat. He lays his head on your shoulder to look at what you're doing "whatcha doing anyways? " he innocently asks looking at your hands that are frozen in place as he starts to toy with your nipples.

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Jisung

He shyly slides his hands up to your chest. They were already there hugging your waist as you sit in his lap. He can't remember exactly why you're there but now he just has to hold them in his hands. They inch up slowly watching for any hesitation.

But to his suprise you just move his hands to your tits yourself, a surprised gasp leaving his lips as you do so. He hides his face in the crook of your neck slightly embarrassed by your boldness. But that doesn't mean he'll stop. You just gave him permission why would he stop now?

His hands automatically cup your breasts lightly squeezing at the flesh as he gently rolls his fingers over it. He loves the small reactions you give him despite being immersed in your own thing. The small gasp you let out as his pointer finger pushes on your nipple and then rolls over it. Or the way you stiffle a moan as he starts kissing at your neck both of his hands now gently playing with your tits. He's all too observant of every reaction even when you slightly shift and lean back against him.

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sxcret-garden · 1 month

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NCT Dream getting pussy drunk [M]

ღ NCT Dream all members x fem-bodied!reader ღ genre: smut reaction ღ warnings: none

Author’s note: idk, i just had this idea last night and it had to get out askldöfjkdas

Mark:

doesn't get pussy drunk all the time, but when he does, it happens quickly

it's more likely when he's actually drunk

like that one time you're sitting on his face, your front facing his body, and the second he dips his tongue into you you can see the bulge in his pants growing

a few more licks and this guy is almost fully hard, that's how much it affects him sometimes

has his hands all over you as far as he can reach - like he just got that much more needy

hums at your taste and could cum from that alone, while he's desperate to figure out where to best hold onto you

has you falling apart on top of him eventually, and will get even more eager with his face still burried in your pussy if you start getting him off too

he's whining at all the sensations coursing through his body now, and you bet this guy is gonna cum within a minute

but even then he still needs to taste you, so you can be sure he won't be satisfied until he's made you cum a few more times

Renjun:

doesn't get pussy drunk easily, so when it happens for the first time he's so embarrassed afterwards???

like he does not know how to process the way he acted when he felt this carnal need to taste you more overtake him and cloud his mind

does everything in his might for just one more lick, and if you're feeling playful this might just be the best chance you could get to make him beg

he seems like a completely different person all of a sudden, grabbing onto you desperately and wanting nothing more than to bury his head between your legs

pure ecstasy running through his veins when he feels you clench around his tongue, almost crushing him in between your thighs when your high crashes down on you

he can't think straight at this point, all he knows is he needs more, and he needs it now

Jeno:

he just will not let you go when he gets pussy drunk, whether you're lying beneath him or are on top of him, riding his face

this guy holds you close with all his strength because he might just get addicted to the way it feels when you cum on his tongue

and maybe you should be grateful at this point that he doesn't get pussy drunk all that often, because you're in for an intense ride

loves the power he has over you when he overstimulates you, and will only give you space to breathe when it's apparent it's getting too much for you to handle

otherwise he'll just keep going, his tongue greedily fucking one orgasm after the other out of you until you're nothing but a whiny, shaking mess

though once it dawns on him what kind of state he just put you in, he'll suddenly become very soft, and he'll make sure to give you all the aftercare you could ever want

Haechan:

gets pussy drunk so easily, it happens almost every time he eats you out

like this guy just can't get enough of you, and there's just something about him having his face buried between your legs and your taste on his tongue that drives him crazy instantly

but most of the time he won't make sure you can't escape him, he might whine a little, but otherwise he'll just hope you'll let him have his fun for as long as possible

really he just wants to please you, and your taste drives him insane - he's way too in the moment to think about what may or may not happen even a second from now

and it just makes him soooo horny too

if you let him he will certainly start touching himself too while eating you out, but he won't permit himself to cum before you aren't 110% satisfied first

Jaemin:

I'm convinced this guy gets drunk on you in general, so imagine what it'd be like if he's pussy drunk on top of that

this is definitely gonna trigger both a very caring and a very possessive side of him so you're in for a ride...

gets pussy drunk fairly often though, so he's learned to keep himself in check most of the time

intense eye contact as he eats you out, his hands on your hips to keep you in place

he takes pride in knowing he can drive you crazy with just his tongue, though he will eventually add his fingers too to get you from one orgasm to the other

so soft when he lets you rest in between, asking if you're okay and if you want more (no matter how much he needs to taste you more, he won't rush into more than you can handle)

and then when you give him the okay he's eating you out like there's no tomorrow

starts slow and builds up his pace just right, because this guy has spent countless nights studying your reactions to everything he does to you to make sure he makes you feel as good as he possibly can

Chenle:

doesn't get pussy drunk all that often actually

but when it happens you will know

strikes me as the type who has fun teasing you and getting a little rough with you, so usually he'll make sure to keep you in place as he gives you the bare minimum just so he can get the gratification of hearing you beg for him

so when he suddenly goes super soft after finally letting you cum on his tongue you don't know what's going on for a second???

until you see the look on his face and hear him asking you if you want more in the most caring tone ever

it's clear a switch inside him flicked, and now all he wants to do is please you and take care of you, all thoughts of teasing you long gone

that doesn't mean he won't have you seeing stars in no time - he still knows what he's doing and he's doing it well

it's just that instead of being a little shit, he'll simply continue eating you out until you're a shaking mess underneath him, however long it'll take him

Jisung:

gets pussy drunk so quickly, he won't even know that he is when it first happens??

all he knows is that you taste so so good and he could spend forever eating you out and-

it'll dawn on him only wayyy later what just happened, unless you point it out to him

will simply keep going when he's reached that state, following only his urge to taste you more

is gonna make you cum on his tongue and then immediately continue - only when you start squirming and whining from the overstimulation does he stop for a moment

checks in on you, and when you tell him to slow down, he's trying, he's really trying, but you just taste so good, how could he not become a little greedy?

only when you suggest riding his face instead, so you could control the pace better, does the overstimulation fade into pure bliss

and this guy here too couldn't be happier, like he's just in heaven the entire time, wanting nothing more than to eat you out forever

#nct dream smut #nct dream reactions #nct smut #nct reactions #mark smut #renjun smut #jeno smut #haechan smut #jaemin smut #chenle smut #jisung smut #nct dream x reader #nct dream imagines #smut #reaction

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ghostofhyuck · 2 months

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NCT Dream and the things that make them go insane (18+)

cw: suggestive, mentions of sex.

AN: Did I took inspiration from Xiaodery's 'Don't go insane' challenge? yes I did. Lol don't take this too seriously. Also minors dni!!!

Mark Lee ; random moans

Yes Mark, you're not the only one who makes random moan noises. You know that type of noises you make whenever you stretch your body? or when you're eating a delicious food? You're very vocal when it comes to making those kind of noises and sometimes it just caught Mark off-guard. It's not intentional but it reminds him of the sounds you make whenever you two have sex. Sometimes he tells you to not do it, and you'll innocently ask him why. He might not resist of taking you there, that's why.

Huang Renjun ; revealing clothes

LISTEN Renjun doesn't care what you wear. He's not very protective when it comes to your outfits since it's your body after all. BUT when you're practically naked around your apartment, he'll start praying for his life. You tend to be comfortable wearing just an oversized shirt and panties or maybe a tank top and cycling that shapes your body perfectly. But it'll have Renjun fighting his inner demons. (he loses it.)

Lee Jeno ; tight-fit clothes

Now this one is different. Jeno just couldn't resist it when you're wearing clothes that's tight-fit enough that it curves out your body, especially your boobs and ass. He'll stare at it the whole day and he'll be embarrassed when he catches himself looking at it. But there are moments where his hands will trail over your body when you're wearing those kind of clothes. Oh and he loves ripping it for some reason ??? especially your leggings, he'll just buy you more he convinces.

Lee Donghyuck ; random touches

Donghyuck will start questioning you whenever you touch him randomly. It'll be just innocent touches like his cheeks or squeezing his arms, but when you have your hands in his thighs, Donghyuck will just stare at you, "???" or when you unconsciously touched his abs trailing it up and down, his mind will go blank and start to think that you wanted something. It'll give him mixed signals and he'll end up horny though.

Na Jaemin ; wearing his clothes

At first he adores it, whenever you steal his hoodie and wear it. It's very wholesome and you look small in his clothes. But when you're just wearing his top over your panties, he just couldn't resist it. Jaemin thinks that you look hot in his clothes especially after a round of sex, he'll be fighting the urge to take it off from you and just fuck you again.

Zhong Chenle ; makeup

Chenle would probably love the idea of messing your makeup. He loves your red lipstick and thinks you're seductive whenever you apply lipstick and ends it with a pout, he would probably kiss you afterwards, the messy, aggressive type where your lipstick smudges all over you and him. Chenle probably indulged at the thought of how you put so much effort on your makeup and thought of ways of ruining it by making you writhe under his touch and cry because of the pleasure.

Park Jisung ; seductive dances

Oh Jisung will be astonished at the way you moved. Especially when you two are dancing inside a club, you'll be swaying your hips left and right, feeling the music and rhythm, Jisung would be hype by it but he'll go crazy as he watch you dance sexily in public. He'll be the type who'll hold you close to him as you grind against him and perhaps even make-out a little bit on the dance floor.

#nct #nct dream #nct fic #nct imagines #nct dream fic #nct fluff #nct x reader #nct dream imagine #nct scenarios #nct dream fluff #nct dream reactions #nct dream imagines #nct mark #nct renjun #nct jeno #nct haechan #nct jaemin #nct chenle #nct jisung

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luvyeni · 5 months

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ʚ : IGNORING NEEDY NCT DREAM PRANK ₊̣ !

— cw. sexting, meantions of cheating ( jokes ), kms joke

authors note. it's been a while since i did a texting reaction , so here i am,, enjoy 💕!

(MINORS DO NOT INTERACT)

©️LUVYENI. 2023

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polarisjisung · 3 months

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KISSES WITH NCT DREAM

pairings: nct dream × fem! reader

genre: fluff

warnings: mentions of giving hickeys (for jeno) + reader is implied to have long(ish) hair + use of pet names

notes: a little different to usual but i want to post more often and I love reading these little headcanons! although I do need to switch it up from all the fluff 🫠

MARK-cozy morning kisses:

mark loves lazy mornings, holding you by the waist to make sure you don't have a chance to escape the warmth of the duvet you're all wrapped up in. sure your hair's a little messy but mark loves the domesticity of waking up next to you. you'll make every attempt to make your way out of the confines of your shared double bed but mark ultimately wins, shutting you up with a kiss when he feels like you're talking too much

"mark baby, please I have work" mark could not care less— really, they should've made it illegal to work weekends

"you have a boyfriend too" he'd tuck the hair falling from your ponytail behind your ear and you're a sucker for the way he'd let his palm rest over your cheek as he pulls you into his chest underneath the covers

"markie, I'll get fired" you know you'd lost the battle the second mark let his eyes land on your lips, the ones that were still shining from the left over lip mask you'd applied the night before, but you still try to bolt out of the covers as fast as you can, undoubtedly you'll get pulled back in by mark just a few seconds later

"don't run from me baby" he's all pouty, you know its all just a facade to get a couple extra minutes in bed with you but saying no to mark just wasn't one of your capabilities

when you finally sigh in defeat,

"just 5 minutes" with a roll of your eyes, he's peppering sweet kisses all over your face, placing a couple pecks on your lips too

"I'll take 5 minutes"

best believe he'll take a lot more than just 5

RENJUN-stupid adorable smiley kisses:

kisses with renjun start out ever so gentle, a quick touch of your lips before he's checking to see your reaction. doesn't matter how long you've been dating, renjun still gives you butterflies every damn time, and he's the same with you, all giddy and kicking his feet, so you both start out so smiley against each other's lips, soft and sweet. on occasion renjun likes to go for deep, more meaningful passionate kisses, and the second you see his starry eyes staring up at you, grin formed into a soft smile, you know his hand is going to reach for your jaw and his lips are going to move rushed against yours

there's a sparkle in his eyes, a glint that tells you renjun won't stop at a few pecks— naturally you don't mind at all

"my love?" he coos, looking up at you, taking in your features as though he's trying to commit every detail of your pretty face to memory, your moles, the shape of your lips and your sparkling eyes, he would memorise it all in that very moment

you swear he looks at you as though you've painted the sky and hung the stars, and every time you catch yourself wondering what you've done to be lucky enough to deserve him

"I love you" as those words slip so effortlessly out of his lips, he'll guide you with a hand against the back of your head to meet his lips again, with more urgency this time

"I love you too" you'd breathe out, an oppurtunity you'd never miss

JENO-neck kisses

jeno loves your lips, kisses, pecks, full on make out sessions— he doesn't mind. but every time he finds your hair tied back and your neck on display he sees it as the perfect chance to show that you're absolutely not single, very much taken in fact. jeno finds joy in carving his initials into your neck or leaving small, unintentional patterns behind sucking and gently biting at the warm skin on your neck. the kisses eventually trail their way up across the bone of your jaw, his hands tugging at the ends of your hair as he twirls it between his fingers. jeno wants it all, quick kisses will do if you're out and about but the second you're home, kissing is at least a 20 minute task.

when you're out, be it hanging out with friends or running errands together, especially in the summer, when you like to tie your hair back a lot more frequently, jeno finds himself going absolutely feral, he's like a child begging his mother to go home

your back is against the wall the second you step through the door, jeno's lips impatiently capturing yours. he's a literal animal, he'll devour any lipstick you're wearing like it was never even there, before his kisses land on your collarbone.

"knew what you were doing when you tied your hair up baby hmm?" jeno likes to think you do it on purpose, to mess with him just a little, admittedly you do, but if you could be honest it had been solely unintentional this time

"come on jeno" your hands land on his chest, almost avoiding the hungry search of his lips for the skin of your neck "didn't know you were so needy"

you like to tease him, his cute agitated kisses becoming a little more intense at your words

equally jeno finds no shame in just how crazy he is for you

"needy for you baby, only you"

something about his urgency mixed with his loyalty forces you to forget about the hickeys you'll spend hours covering up over the next few weeks

HAECHAN- tip of your nose kisses:

haechan loves a makeout session as much as the next person, and despite his forward and bold attitude, sometimes the hard-core kisses just aren't what he's looking for. his favourite solution? kissing the tip of your nose, he likes booping your nose here and there as it is, but in his softest moments, where you find his eyes staring your way in pure awe, haechan's eyes travel to the tip of your nose immediately. it doesn't take long for his lips to follow— a tentative kiss to make sure you're in the mood to be absolutely bombarded with his love

forehead kisses are a close second, and eventually haechan gives in to delicate tender kisses on your lips, his fingers interlaced with yours

"have I ever told you I love you?" kisses with haechan are playful, so you can always tell he's in the mood when that adorable toothy grin shines it's way at you

"multiple times hyuck, every day actually" you'd respond, so giggly that he swears he's falling in love with you all over again, he's not sure if it's possible quite frankly, considering he thinks the same thought everyday

"that's what you deserve baby, I love you" he'd waddle his way over to you on the sofa, that smirk on his face that tells you everything you need to know— the kiss lands perfectly in the centre of your nose, your face soon hidden away in your hands

"don't get shy on me now baby, you know what I wanna hear" he's already trying to get another look at your pretty eyes and when he successfully gets your hands to slide down your face, places a chaste kiss to your forehead

"I love you too hyuck"

"can't hear you buttercup, you're gonna have to show me that pretty face so I can lip read" he's a little too proud of his words, and when you do let your hands down, his lips are all over yours

JAEMIN-lip gloss kisses:

jaemin is a sucker for those shiny, perfect glossy lips of yours, he's a sucker for you full stop, but your lips are practically a superpower.

now jaemin hates strawberries but that pretty pink lip gloss of yours with a little shimmer and that strawberry scent is his absolute favourite, he swears it makes your eyes pop 10x more it's perfect— you're perfect

he loves showering you with affection, be it hugs or kisses, holding your hand or whispering sweet nothings into your ear, jaemin treats you like an absolute princess and when his princess is all dressed up and so absolutely gorgeous, he can't help but ask for one thing for himself. not that jaemin doesn't love seeing you lounging around casually, he thinks you look gorgeous all the time, but seeing the confidence that oozes from your being when you're ready for a big event has his stomach doing backflips

his arms wrap around your waist quicker than you can twist the tube of your lip gloss shut— really there was no point going through your extensive lip combo routine because you should've known jaemin would eat it all up

"my sweet sweet girl, do you think I could have a kiss?" jaemin likes to get extra affectionate in these moments, clinging to you with a smile that reaches his eyes, just to make sure there's no way you can say no

"but nana my lip gloss" you're always trying to make excuses, really it was just because lip products were starting to get expensive, but you don't mind blowing more money on them if it meant you'd have a love like jaemin

"hmm, I'll buy more for you, just give me a kiss pretty please?"

you only make one more attempt at stalling, you know better that you're not winning this battle

"but nana it'll get all over you"

he shrugs, so unbothered you swear you hear your heartbeat ring in your ears

"I like it like that"

jaemin loves the way you tenderly hold his face before you seal his lips in a kiss, when you pull away his lips are glittery and pink just like yours, but his smile seems to have grown ten fold

"you look so pretty nana, my princess" he nods

"your princess, all yours" before locking your lips against his once again

CHENLE-spiderman kisses:

chenle loves the movie, chenle loves you, to him it just made sense and the spiderman kiss has easily become his favourite way to greet you as he walked through the door.

most days chenle would find you seated on the couch, finishing up a project for work when he'd get home, his hand would wrap under your chin and slightly over your neck with ease, lips locking with yours momentarily

"I missed you" he'd whisper, every time as he pulled away from you, placing his things down to a side and slipping into the empty space beside you. his arm would find its rightful place resting over your shoulder before his lips would brush over yours again

"I missed you too"

the both of you would bask in the warm intimacy of the moment, something between you, only for you, that the both of you would secretly look forward to day in and day out

to chenle that was enough, that daily welcome home kiss was practically routine and it was a routine he'd grown used to, practically to the point where when he'd walk in and you weren't working away at a desk or on the sofa, anywhere he could easily guide your head backwards and press his lips to yours, the rest of his day would be ruined

dramatic, would be the best way to describe a kiss deprived chenle

JISUNG-hand kisses:

to jisung kisses are one of the truest levels of intimacy, they come with philosophical and ethical discussions and debates, prophesies of where the universe might be heading in ten years or why you shouldn't take things in life for granted

jisung liked to think, and he appreciated being able to share and discuss his thoughts with you, to him that seemed like one of the purest forms of love, being unashamed to share even the most wild and crazy theories with each other

he admired your passion, the way you'd get lost between your own thoughts, in your own world as you explained a concept to him, one of the many reasons jisung loved you, and in those moments a press of his lips to the knuckles of your hand, already intertwined with his, seemed perfect, like the cherry on top

"I think it's crazy how we don't realise so much of what goes on around us" you're sharing one of those moments of yours again, when you feel like you'd noticed something that made a big impact on your point of view in life and jisung can't help but let that gummy smile flash over his lips, his thumb rubbing up and down the outer surface of your hand

it's beautiful to him, how your legs are laying over his and how you rest your head against his chest and his fingers rake through your hair while you find yourselves in this moment, for a second jisung stops listening, or at least attentively so, trying to take in this fleeting moment of what he thought was the most important part of loving someone

"sung, you seem out of it?" you'd ask the question so concerned, despite a little guilt that he hadn't been able to listen to you, jisung would smile softly and shake his head

"just thinking about how lucky I am to have you"

and his hand would lift yours, quickly pressing a feathery kiss to your knuckles

"I love you" he'd say, a phrase he didn't say often, scared it would lose its meaning, but one he'd say just enough that you'd known how much you meant to him

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taexoxosgf · 5 months

Text

DO IT AGAIN

PAIRING brother’s best friend!park jisung x fem!reader

WORDS 3.7k

SYNOPSIS your brother’s best friend can never get you alone. that’s why he won’t miss an opportunity— even if your brother’s on the other side of the walls.

WARNINGS reader is tyong’s sister, jealousy, vaginal fingering, unprotected sex, creampie

NOTES this smut is actually from a super long fic i posted on my old account! i’m not sure if i’m gonna post the whole thing because i’m cringing rereading it lol

“So, how’s your big bro’s parties? It’s better than frat parties huh?” Taeyong dangles the red cup charged with alcohol in front of your face just for you to swat away in annoyance. “No musty bathrooms and paint peeling off the walls! Woooooooo!”

You’re going to have to have a jolly time cleaning his vomit in the morning. “Stop drinking you little shit. I’m not gonna take care of you tomorrow, just so you know.”

He does a little dance that has you suppressing a laugh, “The night is still young! Loosen up a little! Won’t stop until you’re having as much fun as me!” Your brother is so out of it, that he bumps into a million corners of the home and an attendee urges him to the couch.

“Actually… I’m not feeling so good,” he shushes the person helping before running out of the main room.

“Oh my god,” you pinch the sides of your nose bridge, unable to understand how Taeyong’s motto is always all or nothing.

You're nothing near Taeyong's level of intoxication, and whether it's the devil on your shoulder or the drink, you want Jisung. Excruciatingly so. Whoever claimed that drinking made you act like a bitch in heat wasn't kidding. It's more than true now that you know he's nearby– wanting to look for Jisung because if he wasn't going to make a move tonight, you would.

“Y/n?” a familiar voice calls you, prompting you to turn around.

“Hyuck? Oh my god! How are you?” you’re already bringing your arms out for a hug and he’s quick to immediately accept.

You both went to high school together before he left for university thousands of miles away. He still texts you now and then, but due to the time difference, you never had the opportunity to properly catch up.

“Not doing too bad. It’s so good to finally talk face-to-face babe, holy shit,” he chuckles.

“How’s the East Coast? Did you find a girlfriend at Columbia yet?”

“Nah, you know me. Girls there are way too preppy for me. Plus, I can’t stand another minute of freshmen thinking they’re living through Gossip Girl,” he pretends to gag, swaying his body from side to side.

“Hey! Don’t hate. That show was ahead of its time,” you comment, brows raised.

“It IS! But I’m talking about the people acting as if they were a part of the show themselves. Like come on, you were probably five when it came out!” he exclaims.

"Fair enough," you nod. "You know who you should go for?" an idea flashes across your mind as you speak.

“Who?” he shifts closer, genuinely curious.

You wave towards you as another way of telling him to step even closer and cup your hand behind his ear before whispering, “Yuna.”

“What?! There’s no way!” he steps away, not expecting you would say your best friend’s name.

“Come on! You guys would look so hot together! What’s so ‘no way’ about that idea?”

Your old friend momentarily pauses, like he didn’t know what kind of question you asked. “She’d never go for me.”

“What? She used to have a crush on you! You were always around different girls so she never made a move,” you affirm. “You know how she was in high school,” you remind him of the girl who was once afraid to step out of her comfort zone.

“Are you serious? There’s no way that’s true! You’re straight up lying to my face right now,” he groans, looking as if he was going through a mental crisis due to the news.

“I swear on my Loubitons that it’s true! Just talk to her,” you point to the back door. “She’s in the backyard. I’m sure she would love to catch up.”

He brings a hand to his chin, soothingly rubbing with his index, “You do love those shoes…”

“More than myself, so come on! The times ticking!” you press him further, and his eyes light up when he realizes the words you’re feeding him might actually be true.

“You know what, fuck it.”

“That’s what I like to hear! Acting like a true alpha male!” you jump up and down, probably with more excitement than he has.

He chuckles at your words, “Okay. Okay. Let’s hang out and catch up this week. Let me know when you’re free.”

“Okay now go!” you try not to hold him back longer than he needs to be.

“I”m go-”

Before you can properly bid goodbye, you feel a hand wrap around your wrist, pulling you away towards the narrow hallway of the home.

You see it’s Jisung after checking, and he’s definitely on a mission by the way he doesn’t utter a word. Instead, he drags you through the hallway and finally halts his steps at the sign of your bedroom door.

“Jisung, what are you doing?”

He doesn’t answer, he doesn’t let up on your wrist, and definitely doesn’t spare you a glance until you’re both in the room with the door shut behind your back. It’s almost pitch black in the room, and the only light source is the hallway lights illuminating underneath the crack of the door. Jisung finally lets go of your wrist when it’s just you two in your own space, and he brings that same arm above your head to anchor himself.

“Jisung.”

“Y/n,” his voice comes out hoarse, more playful. This was just what you wanted. He’s right here on a silver platter and you hadn’t even come close to building up the courage to approach him first.

Too bad you love to act dumb for the hell of it.

“What are you doing?” your eyes were slowly adjusting to the darkness, noticing how close his face was to yours. It was the perfect opportunity. Taeyong was probably passed out along with the loud music all throughout the house. There’s no way anyone could hear a thing from inside the room.

“Just wanted you to myself,” he comments. You can smell the alcohol on his lips, assuming it was the reason behind his impatience– but don’t think he’s drunk due to his coherent speech and careful movements.

“You have me to yourself now. So what is it?” you gloat, acting as if you don’t notice him struggling to control himself.

“Sorry, I took you away from your little boyfriend. Look’s like you guys were having fun,” you can hear the slight anger in his voice, jaw clenching following the statement.

You roll your eyes in order to suppress a grin, the alcohol influencing you to play games, “Hyuck isn’t my boyfriend, just an old friend. Remember him?”

He notices the hint of playfulness in your eyes, wanting to just fuck it out of you. But he’s waited too long to do this, and there have been too many interrupted moments, so he leans into patience for resolve. “Oh, I must have missed something babe.”

You shift your face closer to him to prove your point once again, “He calls everyone that! Go up to him, he’ll literally call you babe.”

“Hmm,” Jisung hums. “Should I call him Hyuck too?”

Your eyes shoot to his plushy lips, his jealousy turning you on, but you don’t back down just yet, “If you heard that, then you must’ve heard the part where I told him to go for Yuna.”

“I checked out the moment you were calling each other pet names, baby,” he leans his hips against you, eyes evident with desire even in the darkness.

“Well, it’s definitely different coming from you,” you give him what he wants to hear, but it’s ultimately the truth.

Jisung pulls back just to lean down against your ear, “Different, how?”

It’s like he knows the power he has over you when he’s using that tone, including the fact that you feel him between your legs only slightly hard. It’s definitely bigger than you previously thought, the excitement shooting to your core, “I’m not spelling it out for you, baby.”

The name has him bringing his face back to where it was before, cocking a brow. “Don’t do that.”

“Don’t do what?”

“Play games. Don’t fuck with me because if you are, I’m gonna lose it,” he seethes, all control he previously displayed being lost in an instant.

You began narrowing the gap between the two of you even more, your noses brushing against each other. Jisung falters slightly as you do so, his hand landing on your hip. He's noticeably less in control than when he initially encircled you in the room, taking in every inch of you as you jut your hips forward.

He groans, struggling to keep up with what you've been doing.

"I'm not fucking with you," you say, holding his chin with your thumb and index finger, tilting his head and maintaining eye contact. "Just giving you what you want."

Jisung doesn’t know how you tempt while looking so innocent. If he’s being honest with himself, he never holds a sliver of command when you’re present. “You’re hot as fuck,” he mutters, trying to maintain a normal breathing pattern.

"You're hotter," your lips nearly touch at the movement. You're grinning ear-to-ear, but it's short-lived as Jisung grabs your nape and presses his lips to yours. This kiss is nothing like the previous one, and you want to drown in him. You press your mouth even harder on his, and he responds by positioning his entire weight against your body. You’re actually somewhat sober this time around and take notice of the piercing at the corner of his lips. The silver metal grazing over your lips provides a cold sensation to the hot atmosphere, and you push down a moan at the feeling.

He’s such a good kisser, it surprises you but doesn’t at the same time. The boy you used to know was so different than the one in front of you now.

When you set your arms around his neck to play with his locks, he grabs a hold of your waist. You're drowning, arching your back to relieve the tension in your body as the kiss deepens. Jisung licks your lips, and you easily accept his tongue, lips fighting against his. His tongue dances with yours, getting sloppier by the minute, ready to rip each other's clothes off.

He taps the back of your leg with his hand, signaling for you to jump. You do so without breaking contact with his lips, and he smiles against yours. The taste of alcohol in his mouth ignites something within you, along with the scent of his washed hair intertwined with the cologne he’s wearing.

Jisung slowly sets you down against the mattress, slotting himself between your legs before he pulls back for air. “You look submissive as fuck right now. Is that what you’re into? Being dominated?” he purrs, fingers playing with the waistline of your pants.

“Only if you like to dominate.”

The switch in his head flips, and he uses one hand to unzip your jeans to slowly run his fingers over your clothed clit. Your toes curl at the sudden pressure to your sensitive core that's been begging to be touched. The thin material of your panties doesn’t do much to shield his touch, but one thing’s for sure, if it feels this good, you can’t imagine how it’d feel when it’s not just a tease.

“Fuck,” you pant, moving your hands underneath Jisung’s shirt.

“What?” he asks, moving down to your neck. The sensation of his warm tongue against your neck has your skin igniting goosebumps all over. “I can’t hear you. Already falling apart?”

“N-no,” you stutter, knowing damn well that anything done to you will be the actual end. It seems like he wants to win the moment he brings his red and swollen lips back onto yours, sparing any niceties. He’s smothering you, ruthlessly kissing you to no end. But when you become lost in his lips once again, Jisung slips his hand underneath the band of your underwear to touch your pussy head-on.

“Jisungg,” you say against his mouth.

Of course, he doesn’t let up, circling your bud, knowing exactly where to touch you even though this is the first time you’ve done this with him. It’s nothing, but feels like so much, your thighs attempting to close around his hand.

He’s still attacking your mouth with his, fingers trailing in an up-and-down motion between your folds. It surprises you, and you moan against his mouth, unable to maintain the same pattern with your lips. “Fuck, you’re already so wet,” he lets go of your mouth with a pop, groaning at the arousal coating his fingers.

“Please, Jisung. I need you,” you whimper, unable to take any more of the mere seconds of pleasure he’s giving you. You don’t even look down as he slides your pants off along with your panties in one motion. He tsks, lowly enunciating a small, “So impatient.”

Without anything in the way, he doesn’t waste time plunging his fingers into your pussy, groaning at the way the muscle tightly clamps around his fingers– and it shoots straight down to your core, never getting enough of how deep his voice is.

The pleasure you’ve been trying to grasp is finally reached, a gasp spilling from your lips once he curls his fingers inside you. Your hands have found their way to his back, fingers digging deep into his skin and he hisses at the slight pain.

“Tell me you want this,” he murmurs against your ear while his fingers begin to speed up in pace. You’re bucking your hips up, wanting to meet him halfway in order to reach euphoria. “I w-want it,” you cry.

“Want what?” he asks, voice too soft for the motions he’s enacting.

“Want you. Want you so bad,” you moan, throwing your head back when he hits a certain spot. It feels too good to stop, and every part of your body tingles at the pleasure.

You want to sob at the feeling it brings you, his fingers, mercilessly driving in and out of your cunt, while his thumb circles your clit. Your stomach feels tight from all the stimulation, and his body pressed against yours makes you feel hot all over. What you don’t notice is Jisung’s watching every movement on your facial features, loving the way your brows scrunch and how your pretty lips open up every time he hits a certain spot.

The band in your lower abdomen is on the verge of snapping, and the fact that he's above you doesn't help. Jisung's hair still falls perfectly, occasionally brushing the tip of his nose. He’s so fucking hot, you can’t hold back. You can't stop the orgasm from reaching your body simply by the way he feels on your body and looks above you.

“P-please,” you beg.

At the feeling of your pussy tightening around your fingers, he digs into your cheek, bringing your face back towards his. “Come on, you can do it. Cum,” he demands.

“F-fuck! I-I’m gonna–” you scream, body convulsing as your orgasm washes over you. He doesn’t stop his movements until you’re whining for him to stop. Pulling his coated fingers out, just to bring it to his lips.

As the climactic high wears off, your body becomes limp, but the image of Jisung bringing his plump lips to wrap around his fingers leaves you wanting more. You nearly squeak when he groans at the taste, letting go of his fingers with a pop. "Mmm," Jisung moans. "You taste so good."

“Here, have a taste baby,” he smirks, bringing those same digits to swipe motions at your core. You whimper at the sensitivity, the buzzing feeling still present. “Open,” he commands.

You listen, sticking out your tongue for him to insert them into your mouth. The wet muscle swirls around his fingers, finally closing around them, and you gag when he presses further into your mouth, teasing your throat. “Good girl.”

It’s so arousing that you intend to get up from your original position beneath him, but he catches your wrists and pins them over your head to keep you in place. Maybe it's the unfulfilled horniness from all the other times he’s tried to get you under him, but it's got you whining and squirming beneath him for his tolerance. “Fuck, it’s like you knew this was gonna happen,” he murmurs, not taking his eyes off your body.

His hot breath fans against your face, “Did you?” He begins to trace the contours of your body, slipping underneath your shirt on his way up. “No,” it’s a weak response, body twitching when he starts massaging your breasts. You had just experienced an unearthly orgasm, but everything Jisung does just causes your cunt to clench around nothing, and it’s only once out of a million times since he walked through the door.

“Just fuck me,” you plead, feeling his thick cock prodding at the side of your thigh.

“You sure?” he asks once more for confirmation.

“Yes, now hurry,” your whine turns into a pout, and he chuckles at your impatience.

“Do you have a condom in your room?”

“Fuck no, I’m on birth control.” He groans at the information, already quick to tug his cock out of its confines.

And just like that, Jisung slowly inches his cock into you. “Oh,” you cry at the fullness. He’s stretching you out so well, and the slight burn just adds fuel to the fire.

“Holy shit,” he sighs. “You’re so tight,” to ease the tightness, his fingers are already making their way back to your bud, circling in slow motions, “Relax for me pretty.”

You nod, eyes rolling back into your head when he slowly begins to move. “Fffuck,” he curses, his grip moving to your waist the moment your legs instinctively wrap around his. He feels so fucking good inside you and you regret with every ounce of your being you both didn’t do this sooner. You should’ve jumped him when you had the chance because fuck. How are you going to stop now? “You feel so fucking good,” he groans at the sensation.

“Ji–sung,” you moan, “Faster.” Your walls clench around his hard cock dragging against your walls, speeding up in pace and you fully lose it. The lewd sounds of skin slapping echo through the bedroom, and Jisung just swallows your pour of moans. He eventually listens to your request, practically nailing you into the mattress. It feels so good, the sounds coming from him, the feel of his cock pulling out, leaving the tip, just to roughly thrust back inside. You don’t know how much more you can take.

The thin silver chain he always wears around his neck dangles right before your eyes, and even in your fucked out state, you can’t stop looking at Jisung. The sweat on his forehead causes the front pieces to stick, the glow of sex already peeking through. “This is what you get,” he spits, but you can tell he’s slightly holding back. “This is what you get for all the times you fucking ran away. When I could’ve fucked you dumb like you want.”

Jisung’s name was the only thing coherent as he drills into you, squealing at a particular thrust of his hips. He’s so deep inside you, tip faintly against your cervix. “You’re cock’s s-so big,” you gasp, tears blurring your vision. The higher the tension builds in your stomach, the more Jisung continues to destroy you. “Jisung, fuck!”

“You like it hard huh? Want me to make your pussy mine?” His dirty words only have you holding onto him tighter, digging the heel of your feet into his spine. It’s too bad you can’t respond, your brain a puddle of mush at this point, cock going too fast for you to think about anything else. The bed frame knocks against the walls as the bed shakes but there’s no room to worry about that. Especially when he’s hitting every spot inside you perfectly.

“Answer me,” he grunts as your moans grow higher in pitch, unable to take it much longer.

“Y-yes, it’s a-all yours,” your body jolts after every movement, carving pleasure all over his skin. The thread that holds on for dear life is on the verge of snapping, and you wail before your second orgasm can send you crashing down.

It was so easy for Jisung to slide in and out of your pussy, your dripping arousal coating his cock perfectly. “Ji–” you attempt to warn him, but he already made his way back to your clit, pressing rough circles. You begin to babble random sounds, unable to form coherent words when he’s impaling you.

“Yes!” A shriek tears itself from your throat at your orgasm, and your toes curl at the high that takes over you yet again tonight. Your body spasms, and your mind stuck in a haze when he continues stuffing your achy cunt with him.

“Holy shit,” it’s almost impossible for Jisung to keep going when you’re clamping down on him like a vice, keeping him from completely being able to leave.

“Inside, cum inside, Jisung,” you plead when his hips begin to stutter. After a few more thrusts, he fully moans, painting your insides. “Fuck,” It feels even more full than before, if that was even possible and you whimper from the overstimulation from the last few movements. After his orgasm is at its resolution, he slumps into your form, not bothering to pull out.

You’re both just lying there trying to catch your breath, and it’s somewhat serene. The music combined with the vague sound of murmurs could be heard from outside and that’s when you remember that there were indeed a bunch of individuals present too. Maybe they heard you guys fucking, and Jisung seems to have similar thoughts when he raises his head to murmur something. “I forgot to lock the door.”

Your eyes shoot wide open in response, “What? Are you serious? Someone could walk in to you butt-ass naked!”

You’re actually alarmed, but he just stares back at you, his mouth turning into a wide grin. “Nah, I’m just playin',” he laughs.

You chuckle along with him, playfully slapping his shoulder because of his unseriousness. “You’re so annoying.”

“Get used to it baby, I’m not going anywhere.”

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atinyjules · 6 days

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Where The Magnolia Blossoms Ft. Park Jisung

<<CHARACTER INTRODUCTION>>

"For once in my life, I wish I was a princess instead."

Seo Seonhwa

She is the daughter of the royal tailor of Baeguk.

She is currently her mother's apprentice and hopes to take her mother's place one day.

She is soft-spoken and kind-hearted, but she can't stand up for herself.

She loves animals and children with her whole heart and soul.

She loves flowers as well, especially magnolias, since her quarters are filled with magnolia trees.

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nobodyeverasked · 2 years

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heaven in hiding; park jisung

(9,664 words) - large

summary ➣ Jisung and his best friend, Y/N, find themselves on the other end of a sleepless night. Restless, they try to find as many ways as humanly possible to help the time pass in Jisung’s dorm room.

genre ➣ fluff

.・゜-: ✧ :- .・゜-: ✧ :- -: ✧ :-゜・. -: ✧ :-゜・．

The endlessness of the indigo night leaked through the walls of Jisung’s dorm room, staining the floors and colouring the emptiness of one of the beds with its cool, delicate glow. In the other was Jisung and his best friend, Y/N, tangled up in each other and the silver strings of the faint moonlight that settled in the grooves of Jisung’s sheets.

Whenever Y/N would stop by and peek his head into the practice rooms by sunrise, this is where they would always end up, neglecting the space in the other bed as they’d stumble into Jisung’s dorm room and waste hours and hours until clear and gilded skies burned black, and until the setting sun lost all of its colours.

Songs held between their hands tied them together from morning to morning, in every bloom and withering of the silver horizon’s shine. Their laughter followed in their footsteps wherever they went, wherever they decided to venture, and everywhere they decided to stay.

The peace that midnight’s presence brought, however, was snapped in two, sapphire seams that held the stars together bursting the moment some sort of anxious restlessness pried Y/N’s eyes open and wrenched him out of his comfortable place in Jisung’s arms. He stifled his heavy breaths in the sleeves of the sweater he’s ‘borrowed’ from Jisung for the last two weeks as he felt as if his entire world was spun off its axis, his gravity misaligned the moment he could feel himself torn away from Jisung’s.

The softness Jisung’s sweaters, the way they submerged Y/N in layers of fabric, would usually make him feel safe enough to thread himself neatly between Jisung’s arms again, and to pretend that nothing happened but a trick played on him by the pretentious glow of the midnight’s moon. Y/N couldn’t quite shake off its ivory glow, though, no matter how the rich, yet subtle scent of lavender stained the collar of Jisung’s sweater.

It reminded him of all the memories they carved out into the clarity of the springtime sunlight, shoes cast aside as they held slow dances by rented thrones of wildflowers, under the coral spotlight of an early evening sky. Y/N was supposed to think about how Jisung’s smile caught the most beautiful moments of the copper sunlight as the chatter of the trees above them carved it into shards.

The lavender was supposed to linger the way Jisung’s touch did on the one night the colours of that same moonlit meadows stained them forever. Where a playful shove to Jisung’s shoulders unravelled under the same silver twines that were supposed to hold them still now - Jisung taking Y/N by the waist and pushing him down into the lavenders below them. He held Y/N’s hands down in such a gentle way, in a way that was barely there, and let the stolen breath of the moonlight trickle between them; but Y/N didn’t want to get up. He wanted to stay suspended in Jisung’s gaze, for his fingers to stay loosely tied to Y/N’s as Jisung slowly lost himself in the glimmers in Y/N’s eyes and beautiful, defeated pout.

With the way all Y/N’s thoughts were pulling him in all different directions, nearly tearing him open, he couldn’t think about what he did next; how, with a battle cry to soar through the starlit sky, he lurched up to flip them over and bring Jisung to the ground, and push his wrists down into the lavenders that split with their laughter. It was Jisung’s turn to look up and watch the way the moonlight breathed shimmers into Y/N’s skin, the way his eyes caught its glow in a way that Jisung could never imagine.

Y/N couldn’t think of the memories that clung to the collar of this sweater no matter how many times he ran its fabric between his fingers. Now, the midnight violets could barely bloom on his skin in the way they did on the barely stirring Jisung beside him, who did nothing but hold the air in place of Y/N’s waist.

Turning to Jisung, all Y/N could think about was finding something to do, someone to talk to, anything to distract himself. But the last thing he wanted to do was to wake Jisung up from what’s probably going to be the only proper sleep he was going to get throughout the whole week. He thought that the last thing Jisung needed was to bear the weight of Y/N’s problems on top of the practices, vocal training, and schedules he already had holding him down.

If Jisung was awake, though, he’d take Y/N by the shoulders and shake him as violently as he could, telling him that sweeping his concerns and his anxieties under the bed was the last thing Jisung ever wanted and that he’d carry the weight of every single one of Y/N’s doubts before he’d ever think about buckling. He was Y/N’s best friend, the fire in his heart and the light on his horizon, and he’s vowed since the moment they met, since the moment Jisung wanted his days to consist of nothing but Y/N’s laughter and smiles, that his glow will never, ever dim.

Y/N’s hand hovered over Jisung’s shoulder, he was leaning in closer and closer to shake him awake since he had nothing to turn to but the vapid emptiness of the rest of the room, but something was holding him back. His strain was put out of its misery, though, as Jisung shifted with a groan under the shadow of Y/N’s touch, shuffling roughly on the bed to throw an arm over Y/N’s waist, only to notice that there was a shift in where Y/N originally was. Jisung near-instantly pushed himself up, stretching himself out as the emptiness in his arms, the coolness that Y/N left to fester in Jisung’s chest as his back wasn’t pressed to it, was finally starting to settle in.

“Y/N…?” As Jisung leaned up, he felt Y/N’s hand that was hovering over him and instantly found his way through the dark to hold it. There was something that was stifling his voice, though, as this tense, suffocating bitterness clouded his head the moment he held tighter onto Y/N’s shaking hand. His instincts began to rise above him, as the distress that ran through Y/N’s soft breaths across from him was too potent to just brush off. “Hey, what’s wrong…? Is everything okay?”

“I.. I dunno, I just can’t sleep.” Hearing the cracks in Jisung’s voice as it spilled all over the mattress, it made guilt claw its way up Y/N’s throat and shrivel up his words. Even if Jisung was holding his hand, slowly bringing him closer to try and get a look at the moonlit shine in his eyes, Y/N just couldn’t help but feel like a bother. It was always the moments he needed someone most, the times where he wants to take Jisung up on his offer to be there for Y/N no matter what, when Y/N feels like extra weight, like something not worth smiling at or laughing with. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to wake you but I don’t know what else to do…”

Jisung could see Y/N fidgeting even tucked away beneath the darkness and silence of his room, and he couldn’t bear to see Y/N like this. Usually, Jisung’s sweater would be enough. On the mornings where things like this would happen and Jisung was there to comfort Y/N, he only heard about what was running through Y/N’s mind after the good-morning hugs, and while their barely-finished coffees were heaving their final breaths of steam. Y/N would often tell him that it was okay because he always had on one of Jisung’s sweaters, and it was enough to make him feel secure and safe. Hearing that would always make Jisung smile and take Y/N’s hands in his own, but, in this very odd way, Jisung always wanted to comfort Y/N on his own, to take him in his arms and not let the fabric of his sweater to do the speaking and the holding for him.

However, he wished that he never wanted to do that, because seeing Y/N this flighty, his words barely making their way out of his mouth as he fumbled over himself; Jisung just helplessly staring as he could practically feel Y/N curling in on himself. He wanted to take it back, he wanted Y/N to sleep it off and have the waves of comfort that Jisung’s arms tightly around his waist would always bring him to wash it away. He wanted to laugh about it in the morning before they eventually hounded Jeno and Jaemin for food, and wanted Y/N to just play with his hindsight between their hands.

“Y/N… Please, there’s no need to be sorry.” Jisung moved his hands up to Y/N’s shoulders. “How’re you only guilty for waking me when it matters, and not calling me at three in the morning complaining that you finished your pot of coffee.” Jisung couldn’t even take himself seriously without ending his argument with a giggle, one he could feel catching onto Y/N’s pursed lips slowly, but surely. “I don’t know why you can’t just make another pot...”

“How dare you! You think I want to go through the effort of making a fresh pot of coffee at three in the morning?” Y/N eventually let a chuckle out as Jisung rubbed tenderly at his waist. “You expect to much of me.”

“Of course I do...” A low hum escaped Jisung’s lips as he felt Y/N’s hand run though his hair. He leaned into Y/N’s touch as long as he could before Y/N stopped to swing himself off the bed with an animated groan, one that pulled a snicker out of Jisung to shimmer in the moonlight pulled out between them. As Y/N turned his back to stretch up and out, Jisung heaved a sigh of relief, glad that his disappointed pout was swept over by the night that seeped through their walls. He would never live it down if Y/N ever truly realized how endlessly Jisung could stay drowning in Y/N’s touch. “Is there anything you want to do in particular…? I could make you something, if you want…?”

“You…? Cooking…? For me…?” Y/N laughed to himself as he wrapped around the bed to see Jisung sitting on the other edge, slipping on some socks and straightening out his hoodie before looking up to see Y/N’s teasing smirk. Jisung tried so hard to be annoyed, but he relented the moment Y/N inched closer, rubbing at his knees with this frustratingly endearing softness that made his countering sneer melt away. “I appreciate the offer, Sungie, but the entire time we’ve been friends, I don’t think I’ve seen you cook a single thing successfully.”

Aside from accepting the truth of every single attempt to cook for Y/N resulting in disaster, he couldn’t just look at the way Y/N’s gaze pierced through the violet night washed over them and stay mad. Jisung opened his legs to let Y/N shuffle in and idle between them for a minute. He leaned into Y/N’s hands when they worked up to his hair again, and let him tangle the thin twines of moonlight in his pale blond hair before they’d eventually snap on them the moment they make their way into the kitchen and make as much noise as possible.

“I’m sure we’ll find something to do…” Y/N slipped out from between Jisung’s knees to finally make his way out of Jisung’s dorm room door, and Jisung closely followed, trailing Y/N’s footsteps as the padding of their feet against the floor was nothing but a faint whisper into the silence that the corridor surrounded them in.

As Jisung watched the warm ivory of the hallway lighting drape so gently against Y/N’s figure, Jisung couldn’t help but think about how this all started and where it’s come to. How they met by nothing but a coincidence and took it in stride for every day after. They made a fleeting moment and remorselessly stretched it out into the oblivion of all their forgotten, restless nights buried under roots of flowering apple trees or thrown to spring breezes held in starless night skies.

Jisung still reminisces on how the light in Y/N’s eye has remained the exact same since they bounced upon each other in one of NCT’s practice rooms. Y/N was wandering through every open doorway he could find, as NCT’s manager was looking after him for a family friend and brought him to work to make their responsibilities a little more manageable. Y/N peeked into one of the cracked open doors to see Jisung recklessly spinning around to music, and the moment their eyes met, the rest was a blur of half-baked ‘hello’s and awkward silence.

They always joked about how Y/N was drawn to Jisung, how it was fate that tied them together and pulled Y/N in. Y/N would never admit it to Jisung’s face to see that snarky smile, but a part of him wouldn’t hesitate to think that it was true, that the universe - as silent as it always seemed to be before they’d stain every inch with their laughter - had a plan for them. They were two lost boys who found the sweetest reprieve in each other.

Jisung wished he knew that he was going to be in for a lifetime of Y/N’s teasing and beautiful, gleaming smiles before skipping the fine print in the friendship contract they practically signed on their first quiet night on the rooftop of SM’s building. The comforting and satisfying silence the ink in their pens as they signed their names into the silver, starlit skyline they both looked out onto. At least Y/N did; Jisung was always brought back to look to his left. The faint flush on Y/N’s cheeks, the violets of the night blooming in the light of his smile and shimmer in his skin, it made Jisung feel a way he couldn’t necessarily define at the time.

After Jisung begged the manager constantly to bring Y/N back, and during their sleepless nights in practice rooms and living areas and Jisung’s dorm room, the definition he was looking so desperately for never turned up. He needed to figure out the hard way, with every single one of Y/N’s wandering touches up his arm or across his shoulders or through his hair, that the fires in his heart that Y/N set alight couldn’t be explained and that they’re always going to be more complicated than he’ll ever be able to conceive. That was what made them so special, though, what made them the only thing that could ever make Jisung smile so brightly.

Even if Jisung were to read the fine print, even if he were to read it thousands of times, he wouldn’t trade in a single moment with Y/N for anything. Every second was nothing but precious for him, another glimmer of gold that Y/N paints his days and nights, sunrises and sunsets.

They made their way down to the living area with nothing but the faint shimmer of the moonlight to guide their steps. Finding the center of the carpet, they sat themselves down, this silent satisfaction running between them as they looked around in the darkness and could still feel everything revolving around their orbit. Jising looked for a space to weave through their comfortable silence and set his hand atop Y/N’s knee.

“I know we didn’t really go that far, but are you feeling any better?” Jisung threw himself out toward where he knew the tall lamp by the couch was, pulling on its switch to watch a dim, but warm light swell and bloom throughout the room. It was a lot easier to see Y/N’s more relieved smiles in the lamp’s golden light, a lot easier to see Y/N’s fingers tangle between his, too. To Jisung’s relief, he can already see the strain in Y/N’s eyes begin to wear away under his smile, and shine brighter as Jisung took their quiet and held it between their hands in whispered giggles.

“Yeah, actually. I think I just needed to move around a little bit…” Y/N eased out a breath he knew he was holding for far too long as he looked all around the room and then to Jisung. The memories that fell upon him as he walked through every doorway in this place was exactly what he needed to fill in the skipped beats in his heart and the stuttering in his thoughts.

He could recall, so clearly, the early-evening naps he’d take with Jisung on the couch right by them, the pillows they’d throw at each other from across the room just for absent-mindedly walking Renjun would always get caught in the crossfire, and the walls they painted with the coral sunlight they’d take between their hands whenever they’d simply sit and talk for as long as they could before Jisung was torn away from Y/N.

“Thanks for getting up with me… I appreciate it.” Nudging Jisung in the shoulder before pushing himself off the ground, and snickering as Jisung followed, he stilled as Jisung softly grabbed at his collar with a pout, holding him in place. His grip was so soft, delicate - almost as if Y/N could just step back and walk right out from under it, but the way Jisung’s puff-cheeked frown and sincere, shimmering eyes carved themselves into the light, Y/N didn’t want to leave. With another smile, he settled his hands on top of Jisung’s, humouring his attempt at feigned scariness. “What? I mean it.”

“I know you do, but that’s not the problem.” Jisung scrunched his nose up as Y/N could do nothing but chuckle more at the intensity in Jisung’s eyes. “You don’t need to thank me for being your friend, you idiot…”

It was Jisung’s turn to laugh as Y/N’s mouth widened before trying his best to hide in his hands. Jisung beat him to it, though, taking Y/N’s face in his own hands and pinching lightly at his flushed cheeks.

“Right…” Y/N murmured before trying to fix his gaze onto anything but the wildly smiling Jisung in front of him.

This comfortable silence stepped in between them once more, sweeping Y/N’s words off their feet and letting the indigo night lit ablaze by the golden lamplight do a little bit of the talking for them. Y/N and Jisung never really took the time to think about their moments of quiet, and how they have always felt so few and far between. They never missed them or longed for them, it was just that they never really thought about that momentary timelessness until it happened to them with a stare a few seconds too long into Y/N’s eyes, until right now.

Before these moments, they always felt this obligation to talk, to do anything but slow down since they never had the time to consider anything but making something of their time. Now that they’re in one of their rare moments of complete stillness, where neither of them want to move or to step out of this moment, they finally realize how much they missed quiet, how much they missed having the time to say nothing.

“I still can’t believe you just thanked me for being here for you.” Jisung dropped down onto the couch beside them, Y/N following suit and following in their faded laughter. “I mean, you’ve done some pretty ridiculous shit, but that’s pretty up there.”

“I was just worried about waking you up ‘cause of your tight schedule.” Y/N put his hands up in defence, only for Jisung to grasp gently at them and bring them back down to Y/N’s lap. “Weren’t you worried about getting sleep, too?”

“Not when you’re so anxious that you literally can’t sleep.” Jisung leaned in, “you’re not gonna win this one, Y/N. You know I’d do basically anything for you, helping you with whatever’s going on - even if it’s not talking about it - isn’t really scratching the surface.”

“Okay, I get it…” Y/N rolled his eyes and reached out to tuck a lock of Jisung’s hair behind his ear. “I’m not grateful at all, I retract my ‘thanks’. Better?” He shot a pointed glare Jisung’s way, who took in stride by leaning into Y/N’s hand and scrunching his nose with a smirk.

“Yeah, actually. We’ll workshop it, though.” Jisung tried to hide his smiles as Y/N’s hands lingered in his hair, tying up in it a little tighter than he expected. The last thing he needed was for Y/N to pester and chant remarks at him for the rest of their lives about how much Jisung really likes his affection. He needed to diffuse his emerging sigh of content with something, he could feel the faint glow of the lamp behind him stripping back all of his protective measures. “By the way, what’s with you and my hair recently? I mean I’m not one to complain, but…”

“I-” Y/N paused before retracting his hand near-instantly, letting it fall and deflate in his lap. He never really thought about it until now, he just liked brushing back Jisung’s hair, and he always thought that Jisung liked it as well. “I always wanted you to go platinum blond, but I didn’t think the company would ever do it… I love this colour on you so much.”

“Aw, Y/N.” Nothing could hide Jisung’s blush now as Y/N reached back up to play with his hair once more. Jisung thought he was used to this by now, just disregarded it as a habit for Y/N to bring Jisung into his lap on those days that didn’t seem to be moving and begin to play with his hair - it was habit for Jisung to just lay there, take in Y/N’s touch with a smile and trying to hide his hums of content from whatever light they found themselves under. This felt different, though, the moment the softness of Y/N’s voice and words suspended itself between them. Jisung couldn’t help but lean into it a little bit more.

The space around them was shaking, threatening to border on awkward, but Y/N yanked them back before Jisung could shove them over with his stuttering.

“No, I’m serious, you literally look like a somehow-cuter version of Jack Frost.” Y/N said with a smirk, taking a break from tangling his fingers in Jisung’s hair and running his hands down Jisung’s neck before leaning back. “Let me tell you something…”

“Oh no-” Jisung braced himself for the conniving, mischievous smirk that always bloomed on Y/N’s face before disaster struck. He didn’t know if he had enough time to prepare for another one of Y/N’s jokes that he always pretended to hate.

“You can give me frostbite any day.”

They hung there in the silence, Jisung barely able to recoil in awe and mock-disgust as he found himself frozen in the confidence Y/N coloured that joke with. The moment Y/N forced it out into the open, however, he immediately lost whatever smugness he had painted the room with, the golden light hovering over them practically sighing with a flicker in disappointment as Y/N tried desperately to force down the dark flush creeping up his neck.

Jisung could feel and see Y/N fumbling over himself. Usually, after he shakes off the ashes of any of Y/N’s bad jokes, he’d always laugh in his face until his cheeks hurt, or until Y/N would try to fight back against his tendency to lean into Y/N as he does and try to shove him down onto any surface they found themselves seated on. Even when Jisung was under Y/N’s hands, their laughter didn’t stop. But, for some reason, this moment felt different, and Jisung didn’t know what to do.

He wouldn’t be lying if he didn’t want to find a way to end up under Y/N’s hands again, as the times they’d kick up the pale, overhead lights in the practice rooms doing nothing but messing around on those scuffed floors were some of his favourite, most cherished memories.

He had another idea, though. He didn’t know if it was going to be good or bad, if it was smart or not. Maybe it would have Y/N laughing in his face instead in a sense of irony that fit them way too well.

“Frostbite…?” Jisung leaned into the emptiness of the silence between them, cautious at first.

“Yes…?” Y/N felt himself shrinking back with an arched eyebrow as Jisung took on this oddly confident smile. He was both intrigued and concerned at the same time.

“If you say so...”

Jisung found himself throwing all his caution to the windless sky out the windows as he took Y/N’s hand in his own and leaned down toward it with an open mouth, his teeth threatening to settle and nip at Y/N’s skin. He thought the hand in his would shift or something, slip out from his loose grip that was more of a suggestion than anything, but when it didn’t, when both Y/N and his hand stayed completely still under Jisung’s eyes, that’s when they shyness made room to flood both of their minds.

It came rushing in in waves of a deep red as Jisung looked up to see Y/N’s small smile, and as Y/N could find himself doing nothing but smiling with this expectant glint in his eyes that he didn't even know was there.

Y/N felt this playful glow stir inside his chest, and Jisung felt this blush seep into his cheeks with this gentle but simmering burn as Jisung grew closer. The space between Jisung’s lips and Y/N’s knuckles left no room for the moonlight to breathe, and for a second, neither could Y/N as Jisung finally bit down on his finger - the feeling shrinking away and wearing thin the moment Y/N recognized it.

Jisung didn’t realize what he did until he leaned back up to see Y/N’s face threatening to contort in a conflict of feelings and words that he wanted to say. He eventually settled on a small smile and a flicker of a giggle to trickle from it, trying to find a way to ease through the silence between them that, all of the sudden, wasn’t so easy to move through.

“I-” Jisung set Y/N’s hand down and let his thoughts run wildly through his head, leaving no room for mercy. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry, why the hell did I do that?”

“I mean, I guess I asked you to?” Y/N said quietly, but soon tripping over himself as he saw how truly flustered Jisung was getting, how his deep flush was set ablaze under the golden light surrounding and hovering over them, and how his attempts at stringing words together unravelled on his tongue and stumbled from off his lips. “Jisung, it’s okay. There’s no need to be weird about it.” Grasping at Jisung’s shoulders and letting out a chuckle, Y/N he got a closer look at how the red on his cheeks ignited, and how the worries in his eyes dissipated the moment Y/N leaned in.

“That’s so embarrassing, I actually bit you.” A part of Jisung didn’t know why it felt like every single feeling within him went haywire, glitching out and sparking when he did something he’s threatened to do multiple times with a smile. The quiet surrounding them was placed so perfectly, so ready to be torn down, that Jisung didn’t really have anything to distract himself with other than the fact that he wanted to do it. There was no gleam of the moonlight to blind him as he took Y/N by the waist, no distant bustle of the city as they made their way to its outskirts and caved their shapes in the sands, staring up at the sky and letting their entwined hands doing all the speaking for them. There were just the stars in Y/N’s eyes, the focus in his stare, the light of his smile.

Maybe things just got too real, way too quickly. Usually, moments between them would feel like too much of a dream for hindsight to really do anything.

“I’m not complaining, so neither should you.” Y/N shrugged off Jisung’s sudden nervousness, searching in the moonlight to find something to make him feel better. “Unless I tasted bad…?”

“NO, I mean-” Jisung found himself caught in yet another of Y/N’s teasing, devilish grins, and shot a purse-lipped frown Y/N’s way, puffing his cheeks out. He didn’t know how Y/N was able to do it, but he was always able to lighten the mood with one touch, one look, one throwaway comment that seemed to brush off all the weight Jisung has on his shoulders as if it were never there. Finding his footing, Jisung finally retorted with a flirty smile, reassuming the shine in his eyes and the brightness in his voice. “You tasted like a snack, you’re always a snack.”

“I know, thanks for finally noticing.” Their chuckles fluttered up into the air, and yet as their smile settled further into the light, Y/N still felt this tension wound up in Jisung that he still needed to distract him from. There was only so much Y/N could do holding Jisung’s hands from across the couch. “Anyway, I was thinking we could get off this couch and actually do something…”

“Uh, what did you have in mind?” Jisung froze as Y/N took his hand out from his, and reached behind him to grab the pillow tucked into the corner of the couch. Although Jisung was happy to get out of bed with Y/N, he didn’t really think that their journey to conquer the night would be consisting of anything more than pushing back the inevitable - maybe falling asleep on the couch again, only to have Chenle wake them up after having taken enough pictures to fill his phone with heaps of blackmail.

“Let's build a pillow fort or something, I dunno.” Y/N said with this eager glow in his eyes that ripped all the air from Jisung’s chest, made him melt on the spot before he clambered off the couch to fetch as many cushions as he could. They’ve known each other for years at this point, their friendship reduced to the same few threads of a routine, but even when they were more free than usual and when Jisung’s schedules weren't filled to the brim, they never took advantage of the night in ways like this. It was only reminiscent walks through meadows that grew in the gaps of the treeline, effortlessly wandering conversation at the pier as shards of lavender moonlight would float to the surface of the water that Y/N would hold himself back from pushing Jisung right into.

It was them feeling out their growing pains as they had no choice but to think about how old they were getting; them turning to each other when they had nobody else to make them feel better. There came a point where all they were doing was counting down - to curfew, to the time Jisung needed to leave, or to the time Y/N needed to leave. The times where they just get to stay in places that weren’t a sickly lit practice room were phased out.

They had no choice but to hold the little things dear - play fights on dirty floors, nights going to bed later than usual, the hugs they can share for a few more seconds before Jisung is dragged out the door. It was a miscellany of fleeting moments that sure, they were appreciative of, but they missed the memories that would last a little longer, sear into their memories. Back when they had time, and when time had them.

“No…? Is that a bad idea?” Y/N took Jisung’s silence as a hesitation, rather than what he was really doing, reminiscing on how they never just got the opportunity to act like idiots until nobody was around.

“No! Not at all!” Jisung saw Y/N’s deflating smile and rushed over to try and fix it, dropping the pillows in his hands and resting them on Y/N’s shoulders. “It’s a great idea, let’s do it.” Jisung moved his gentle touch up to Y/N’s neck, grinning wider as he could see Y/N’s smile shone brighter as well. It shone with this relief and glee that Jisung hasn’t paid witness to in a while. “I’m just not too sure if we have enough pillows - even from our room - to make one big enough for us…”

“Where’s the next room with a decent number of pillows then?”

“Jeno and Jaemin’s room?” Jisung felt his breath leave his body out of nothing else but necessity, it would give Jeno less to hold onto or catch Jisung by if they were caught. “We’re not going into that dragon’s den!”

“Well, I need my pillows, I’ll give him a raincheck for the chokeslam he’ll give me if we do get caught.” Y/N was already brushing past Jisung, prepared to barrel straight through that corridor, but Jisung caught him by the wrist.

“Okay but what if I don’t want you to get chokeslammed!?” Jisung tried to reason with Y/N, but he knew, better than anyone, that Y/N’s fixation on something can’t be stopped by simple means. Jisung struggled to find something to change Y/N’s focus so he could come out of that hallway alive. “Let’s go to Renjun’s instead, he’s a really heavy sleeper.”

“And risk a smaller but probably equally as painful and humiliating chokeslam? I’d rather gonna go into Jeno’s.” Shaking his head, Y/N wriggled himself free of Jisung’s grip, rolling his eyes with a smile. “You’re so dramatic…”

Jisung let out a sigh as Y/N squeezed Jisung’s fingers with this half-assed sense of reassurance before making his way to the hallway, the shadows in its corners already beginning to swallow him up.

“Be careful!” Jisung chanted before Y/N disappeared fully around the wall. He knew he was being dramatic, making a mountain out of something that was never there in the first place, but he just wanted to show that he cared. Even if it was in an overbearing, borderline useless way. “Jaemin’s probably gonna be too asleep to protect you!”

“It’s okay. I have you, my guardian angel…”

Before Y/N slipped into the darkness and bound toward his inevitable doom that was Jeno and Jaemin’s door, he flashed a wink and a smile around the corner. One that made Jisung’s blush worth staying in the safety of the living room if Y/N stayed to see it.

“Well, that was anticlimactic.”

Jisung and Y/N looked around at the contraption they built around them, an hour of hard work and wearing into the moonlight that trickled through the windows earned them a titled hut of pillows, built on a shaky foundation of dirty carpet and couch cushions they stole from every possible place they had access to. Earnest attempts at draping sheets and blankets around, across, and inside the fort were made, however, it didn’t stop the air of perpetual fear of the entire thing coming down at a mere wrongly-aimed breath that hovered as Jisung and Y/N shuffled their way inside.

They were sure to make use of the pillows Y/N snatched from Jeno and Jaemin’s bed, and Jisung made sure to trail behind Y/N every step of the way to reduce and control any damage that would come out of Y/N’s efforts to get a little bit more than they needed. They were front and center, something to remind Jisung of the sheer power Y/N had to enter that room and leave unscathed.

Now, here they were, bodies contorted to the small space that the fort allowed, Jisung clinging to Y/N’s waist to keep them both from stumbling over and taking the fort down with them. As anti-climactic as it was, as uncomfortable as it was - sitting there in a silence that threatened them to puncture it and knock a single pillow out of place, and away from the moonlight that tread recklessly along the sheets tangled in all the wrong places - Jisung wouldn't want to be doing anything else.

They finally had the luxury of time to waste, and they wasted it on a creation that made them nothing but happy the entire time. Seeing the satisfaction on Y/N’s face was enough for him. However, he was ripped from his trance by a nudge to the stomach, and turned from where he was looking into one of the many cracks and folds in the structure to have himself caught in Y/N’s glare, sparks in his eyes dancing.

“How dare you speak ill of our home like that!?” A smile leaked through the cracks in Y/N’s trying frown, and despite their raising tones, they pulled each other closer and closer. Jisung tugged on Y/N’s foot, bringing him into touch with their knees, and Y/N then stretched his legs out with caution, taking his time to wrap them around Jisung to sit square in his lap. Getting closer to Jisung, though, and leaning his head on his shoulder, only made him see how small the space inside the fort was.

“There’s literally no room for us in here…”

Y/N pushed an accusatory finger into Jisung’s chest, the breathless chuckle Y/N earned from his playful frown made the happiness in his heart swell even more.

“I did not run that covert-ops mission into Jeno and Jaemin’s room to get the last pillows for our home, for you slander my efforts like this!”

“I didn’t ask you to charge into the pits of hell and do that.” Jisung countered, his tone firm and sarcastic, his smile flourishing as he watched the shimmers in Y/N’s eyes ignite. Y/N mouth parted and his eyes widened, a silent gasp of awe and mock-offense taking the place of his grin, sweeping out its light.

“You dare challenge me…?” Y/N’s voice was low now as he moved in to nudge at Jisung’s chin with an animated frown. Its purpose, however, was swiftly knocked aside, as Y/N’s furrowed brow and quivering lips that only made Jisung’s smile wider and light up the little amount of space they had leftover on the inside of their shack of pillows and sheets. Y/N continued anyway, though, his hand moving down to tug at Jisung’s collar. With Jisung doing nothing but melting into Y/N’s movements and realizing how close he really was, how the gravity in Y/N’s eyes pulled him in and nearly knocked him off balance. “I’ve gotten stronger since our last encounter, so be scared… Be very scared…”

Biting back a chuckle, Jisung slowly brought Y/N’s hand off his neck and held it between them, assuming a playful glare and a smirk that nearly split the night.

There was no way out of this, and, if Jisung was being honest, he didn’t want a way out. He wanted to be wrapped up in the starlight Y/N spun in his eyes, trapped in a never ending sequence of hand-holding, wading through the changing colours of the sky and letting time slip through his fingers. To just take in Y/N’s light in as it came and set it free to the skies they share, not worrying about needed to hold onto every last spark as if it would be their last; it was the pure bliss that Y/N - only Y/N - has been able to make him feel. Growing up and growing into themselves, they knew that time would never be on their side, they’ll always be trying to outrun a concept that will always be ten steps ahead of them.

Being with Y/N on nights like these, though, hung suspended under shitty lamp lighting, bunched up in a rickety, malformed pillow shack, holding each other by their shared sweater collars while threatening with smiles to beat each other senseless, it made the world seem as if it was finally moving at a pace they could catch up with. Y/N’s touch, whether it be as a balled-up fist with a handful of his sweater in it, or as a soft, silent embrace that painted his skin with the sunlight they missed during their time apart, made everything feel okay…

Jisung never knew someone he labelled as a ‘best friend’ could make him feel in a way that was so undefinable - bring out the best and worst of him, take him in for everything he is and isn’t, make him love the little things so much more. But here Y/N is, teaching him what love really meant, and what being in love truly was.

“Do your worst…”

Everything stilled, and Y/N considered Jisung’s cocky smile with a raised eyebrow and a moment of silence. He slowly took his hand out of Jisung’s grip, trying his best to build up this softness in his eyes to lure Jisung into a false sense of security. It was seeming to work, as Jisung’s bright laughter began to fizzle out in the space around them, the flicker of uncertainty in his gaze was exactly what Y/N wanted.

“A tempting offer indeed.”

Without missing a beat between their hearts, Y/N lunged forward and tackled Jisung down, bringing their misshapen, barely standing pillow fort tumbling over with them - breaking apart with the cracks in their laughter, the moonlight that just began to settle down crumbling and shattering around them. They rolled around on the ground, chuckles peeled from their mouths as Y/N hoisted himself on top with one fluid movement, trapping Jisung’s hips beneath his.

Jisung let the last of his laughter fade away as he lay defeated under Y/N’s hands, the night staining their skin with how they tore it apart at its starlit seams.

“Any last words…?” Y/N said as he held Jisung down by his shoulders, carving a fake snarl on his lips that only made them giggle and make it harder to keep in the air they needed to catch their breath.

When Jisung looked up, however, all he saw was the way Y/N’s lips held the light so beautifully and delicately. He couldn’t help but stare, as when he looked at them, he saw every shimmer of every smile they’ve ever shared.

There was only one other time where he’s ever felt like this, where the song of their breathlessness rang in just a way that made Jisung think about all they were. That time in the meadow where they stained their clothes with the moon-stained lavenders they stuck in each other’s hair, where they spent the entire rest of the night with Y/N asleep in Jisung’s lap, Jisung lazily taking out each and every one of the flowers he put in there.

The exact moment where Jisung was under Y/N’s hands, where he could do nothing but curse the night sky for making Y/N look so beautiful, for holding Y/N in its violet embrace in a way that was almost spiteful, it was where he wanted to say all the things he could have never brought himself to say.

He let that opportunity flutter away like the butterflies they left in each other’s chests. That wasn’t going to happen this time, he wasn’t going to just let these sparks in his heart stay silent, he wasn’t going to let them be anything less than they truly are and have truly ever been…

“I love you.”

The air hung still, moonlight hanging by the frayed edges of the night’s thread, and so did Y/N’s breath as Jisung’s words finally began to settle in. There was this weightlessness that surrounded him, as if Jisung finally let out a breath he’s been holding onto since their eyes first met, and he looked up to Y/N, his voice still lingering on his skin like a flicker of light. He’s never felt so free, seeing Y/N begin to shine a smile, the shimmer in his gaze a series of flashes back to when he wanted to say the same exact thing.

All they could feel were the waters left on them from Jisung’s leap of faith, the memories of clementine tides and footprints in strawberry sands where all they could think about was each other as they danced into the lavender flush of the horizon. Dreams frozen in time clung to them like the honey draped along all their sunsets painted golden as they leaned into each other on rooftops and cliffsides Jisung would always beg Y/N to sneak off to.

“I love you too, Jisung.” Y/N said, his breath still trailing behind his words as he couldn’t stop his smile from flourishing. He didn’t want to. All those indistinguishable feelings that left those sickly sweet sensations under Y/N’s tongue with every single time the pale morning sunlight caught the glow of Jisung’s skin just right, or with any time Jisung would rest his forehead on Y/N’s as he pushed him to the ground of the four white walls of the practice room that practically became their own universe. Y/N finally knew what those feelings were, what that nameless, senseless melody running through him really meant.

Tripping on what felt like his missing pulse, Y/N’s hands gravitated to Jisung’s face, working up to his neck and holding his cheeks upon an aimless impulse that he didn’t want to control. The silence pulled on both of them, and the way Jisung’s searing blush singed his fingertips, Y/N couldn’t help but tangle himself up in their heartstrings and lean in closer.

Jisung didn’t fight the gravity of the stars in Y/N’s eyes, he never did, as the way they shone always beckoned him closer and closer with every second he found himself stumbling and falling into them. He wanted to do nothing but to drown in them, to be lost among Y/N’s cosmos and never find a way out.

His hands rose up to Y/N’s waist and spread across his chest and up to his neck, their touch growing heavy and helpless, pulling Y/N in.

“Is this okay…?” Jisung’s voice was but a flickering flame that was stifled out the moment Y/N’s breath scratched at the corner of Jisung’s smile. Lilacs in the starlight dripping from their hands and spilling down their chests were the last thing Jisung saw before he closed his eyes with a hum and nudged his forehead against Y/N’s, who was closing the distance between them - slowly and cautiously, but surely.

Jisung barely had time to settle with his words before he couldn’t take their distance and caught Y/N’s answer between their lips. He knew he didn’t need one, as the smile that lined all the sparks Y/N left to dance on the tip of Jisung’s tongue was more than enough to take the back of Y/N’s head and bring him closer, even closer.

The moonlight surrounding them finally burst, reduced to shimmers and ashes as their stars aligned. Any semblance of hesitation that rose to their chests melted from their skin as the glow in their hearts burned straight through them. Jisung let himself sink in Y/N’s hands, floating aimlessly in his touch as he settled his hands in the curve of Y/N’s neck; fingertips draped from his skin, hanging by the loose threads of the night tangled between them. A sting ran through their bodies as a deep, unrelenting flush bloomed on their skin, but the sweetness that ran between their lips rendered its heat useless.

Y/N’s legs framed Jisung’s waist in a way that felt too good to be true, yet they fit around him like pieces into place, as if they were always meant to be there. Having no weight to care for but Y/N’s waist in his hands was true, and it was too good. It was both but neither, all but nothing. Everything they could have ever dreamed or imagined was caught in a singular, motionless blur.

“I’ll take that as a yes…?” Jisung murmured into Y/N’s mouth before his tongue eased itself gently, tentatively between his teeth with the caress of crushed velvet. No matter how delicate Y/N’s touch was as it hung from Jisung’s cheeks, he found himself nearly crumbling, melting into Y/N’s arms anyway. The giggle Jisung earned ran through them like a flicker of sunlight, a faint glow that Jisung could taste when he nudged Y/N’s chin up just right.

It tasted like all the moments they’ve taken for granted, like the colours of the sunsets they took between their hands before they thanked each other for being victims of one another’s circumstances. It lingered like the night that suspends itself in Y/N’s eyes, and like the light of Y/N’s smile that Jisung always tries to pull out of the corners of his mind whenever Y/N isn’t there to pull him in and give him one.

“Take it as a yes, Sungie…” Y/N nodded into their kiss with a grin, the stars on his tongue as Jisung tangled his hands in Y/N’s hair and collided their worlds even further reminding them of all their late nights at the highest point in the city. The place where they looked down on all the moonlit buildings and reminded themselves of how big the world was before they pledged to conquer it.

Everything rushed back in a flood of feelings as they pulled back to take a breath. The silence that followed, the air still left ripped from their chests, and the hands that began to entwine and lay on the floor next to them. It spoke the truth that they finally were able to get out, and said everything they still wanted to.

“Y/N, I…” Jisung scrambled to speak, but only ragged husks of incomplete words made their way off his tongue as Y/N leaned in and nudged Jisung’s forehead with his own. “How- I-”

“It’s okay, take a second…” Y/N whispered, kneading his hand into Jisung’s skin. He shone a smile as Jisung rested his hands on his waist, as he never felt safer than when he was caught in the warmth that Jisung always managed to hold in his hands. “I like seeing that I can make you breathless - I guess I still got it.”

“You-” Jisung cut himself off, as he realized that he could never bring a sigh of even the slightest frustration up from his throat, as one shift of Y/N’s touch against his skin sent him reeling, breathless and back at the start of his breath. Even as Y/N’s hands stayed still in the curves of his neck, though, Jisung still felt his thoughts slipping out from under him. “You’re so…”

Jisung found himself catching his breath, proving Y/N right after all with how breathless Y/N left him. He would never object to that truth, as Y/N always meant so much to Jisung to the point where he learned how to laugh while breathless, and speak with no air. Y/N left him breathless too often. Shaking his head in defeat, Jisung reached up to caress Y/N’s cheek, smiling as Y/N set his laughter free to soar throughout the room. He tried his best to roll his eyes and gather the air Y/N’s teasingly shifting hands left in shreds around them, but he couldn’t free himself from the way Y/N’s hands traced his skin so tenderly - how Y/N’s hands cherished him.

He couldn’t help but give into his thoughts - and the fire that Y/N lit in his heart and on his tongue - letting them slip out with a deep breath.

“You’re so beautiful, Y/N…”

“Jisung… You’re one to talk…” Y/N nudged Jisung’s nose with his own, running his hands up Jisung’s arms, pushing up his sleeves as he tried to lean back up. But Jisung caught Y/N and brought him back in with a hand draped around his neck, shaking his head with a silent pout and rubbing their foreheads together.

With the weight of Y/N’s lips on his, Jisung thought that their world would have shifted in so much more of a drastic way, that they would be left to navigate the endless spaces that these new, finally realized feelings left for them. They felt nothing but a shift between their bodies, though, a faint rumble that followed with every one of their laughs. Jisung felt nothing but grounded, like a shooting star brought down to earth in a crash landing by the effortless, yet unyielding gravity of a guy he’s been revolving around for so long. Stardust on his skin, stained with shimmers everywhere Y/N touched; that was how Y/N made him feel.

Another thing that brought him back into orbit, however, was when he finally tore his gaze away from Y/N’s, unlocked their stare to finally see the siege they laid to the living room. A wreckage of pillows and sheets was strewn about the room, and there Y/N and Jisung were, at the center of it - their own little world unshaken by the disaster that surrounded them.

“How’re we gonna clean up all this shit?”

“Here’s an idea, we don’t.” Jisung gestured over to the pillows nearest to them - the pillows Y/N managed to swipe from Jeno and Jaemin without facing a merciless, painful death - and propped himself up on his elbows, craning his neck to kiss the corner of Y/N’s idling smile. “Let’s just sleep here.”

“Another tempting offer…” Y/N titled his head with a smirk, feeling it crumble into a grin as Jisung matched it, bringing a hand up to tuck a lock of Y/N’s hair behind his ear.

“What can I say, I’m a very tempting man.” Licking his lips and leaning back, Jisung’s voice settled beneath the night, his hand softly tracing Y/N’s moonlit figure, straightening out the folds in his sweater - the sweater that Jisung will never ask him to return. He could still feel the memory of the lavender fields’ delicate embrace clinging to the collar as he fixed it with a cocky glint in his eyes.

“That you are…” Y/N wanted to do anything to wipe that smirk off Jisung’s face - and so he did. He caught Jisung’s hands before they could make one more playful tug at his sweater and pinned them to the floor to get Jisung’s gaze to be caught in his once more. He leaned in and tied their tongues together, a smile molding the flames he sang in hums between Jisung’s teeth as he felt Jisung crumble under his hands, melt and deflate as he hung from his lips.

As Y/N pulled back, and as Jisung caught his breath, wondering where his devilish smirk went, he chuckled to himself, realizing that he’ll never be able to get cocky with Y/N’s kisses there to put him in his place.

With Y/N still on top of him, Jisung reached over to one of the pillows he gestured to and put it under his head with the help of Y/N, opening up his arms for Y/N to stretch himself out and curl up in them.

“Let’s finally get some sleep.” Jisung said with a smile, only for Y/N to shine an even brighter one before lifting himself off Jisung’s hips and shuffling up into Jisung’s open arms, tangling their legs together with a chuckle that he buried in Jisung’s neck.

“So…” Y/N tried his best to poke holes in their emerging silence, despite how much comfort their quiet brought him. “We’re really not gonna clean this up…?”

“In the morning…”

“It’s already the morning-”

“Later in the morning!” Jisung’s voice stirred the starlight that began to settle on them as they finally finished shifting and moving, finding their rightful places in each other’s embrace. “Are you actually worried about them doing something…?”

He could feel a hesitant nod under his jaw.

“Don’t worry about it, okay? After all, I am your guardian angel…” Jisung ran his free hand through Y/N’s hair, smiling to himself when he looked over to see Y/N tangling his fingers in the other one. He knew that Jenno and Jaemin weren’t actually going to do anything, especially with U/N here given how much they liked him. But what really mattered was that Jisung liked Y/N more, he loved Y/N more, and that even when he wasn’t here or there, the embraces he leaves Y/N with before he goes are always going to protect him when he can’t be there to do it himself. “I love you.”

He took a breath after saying that, taking in the weightlessness that he felt before all over again. He thought that this feeling of bliss would have been a little bit more familiar to the touch with what they’ve done, but here it was, still knocking all the wind from his chest and letting it out into the sky to move the stars. If this was how it felt to say it, to spill his feelings out on Y/N’s skin - experiencing their past and their future, hearing the songs of all the sacred melodies they’ve carved into starless skies and sunset-lit sidewalks - then telling Y/N he loved him was going to be his new favourite thing.

“I love you too…”

And if hearing it from Y/N felt like this - the feeling that filled his emptiness, the voice that sung his harmony whenever he felt as if he were singing alone; the stars in his sky and the light under his skin that always made him feel so comfortable to be standing right at the intersection of their comfort and chaos, and beckon him to run all the red lights before and after they hit it.

If hearing Y/N say it all back to him, echoing the feelings he knew they’ve shared for the longest time - all the time they’ve both cherished and wasted, counted and fled from - then he was never going to stop loving him.

172 notes · View notes

tqmies · 6 months

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Nct Dream + NNN

How long Nct Dream would last through No Nut November!

Minors DNI!

MARK lasts a solid day and a half. He's determined on winning this, he can handle it! He has self control, right? Wrong, he took one look at you in his shirt and flipped. (No he literally flipped you face down onto the bed and railed you!)

Week one concludes and RENJUN's had enough. He's dying to be in you, but you just keep teasing him because really? It's been one week! You brushed his crotch on the couch by accident, and suddenly he was accidently forfeiting the bet by having you ride him till the sun comes up.

JENO goes two hours before he's done. Being told not to do something only makes him want it more! So yeah it was definitely the most pathetic attempt at No Nut November ever. You have no complaints though, not with the way you could feel him in your guts.

Did you really think HAECHAN would willingly put himself through that? He can't even keep his hands off of you as it is, don't think this will change anything. You guys were actually fucking on Halloween night right into November first, you never stood a chance.

JAEMIN was so close! November 29th and Jaemin can taste the victory! Until he comes across a video of him blowing your back out on his phone when he scrolled a little too far in his camera roll. He can't take it anymore, he's calling you over to recreate that video ASAP.

Let's give it up for our victor CHENLE. The only one who manages it to make it the entire month, and boy was it hard. He literally had to limit date time because he couldn't see you without popping a boner. It was hell for you, but trust me, he makes up for it with Dick Down December.

JISUNG makes it a good five days and then gets so pent up and frustrated. He opens the front door and decides the bet isn't worth it when he sees your face. He's doing you in the doorway against the wall right there, he can't take it.

#nct dream #nct dream smut #mark smut #renjun smut #jeno smut #haechan smut #jaemin smut #chenle smut #jisung smut #nct dream x reader #nct x reader #nct smuts #nct headcannons #nct imagine #nct scenarious #nct dream imagines

2K notes · View notes

neopuppy · 4 months

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Our Sick Story, Thus Far (M)

Teddy Bear—> (yes you have to read this first)

pairing. Jeno x female reader x Haechan x ?

genre. college AU, pwp, dark fic, angst, M/F

wc. 29k

warning. profanity, bullying, forced relationship, cheating, dr*g use mentioned, blackmailing, coercion, possessive/obsessive behavior, lies deceit manipulation etc, is anyone in this story actually a good person??(the answer: no), stockholm vibes. smut warnings under cut. minors DNI.

now playing. Our Sick Story(Thus Far)//Atreyu

a/n. it’s been a long time coming and I hope the wait was worth it for this story that I had no business writing to begin with😅

dedicated to the messages I received letting me know Teddy Bear made them wanna throw up. you are going to love this one! and @notncdeeh for consistently bothering me to finish writing this💚

smut warnings. dubcon/noncon elements(DO NOT read if that makes you uncomfortable. thanks.), Jeno refers to y/n as ‘Teddy’ often, no teddy plush shall be spared, dacryphyilia, humiliation, degradation/praise, oral, anal, rimming, finger sucking, sub/dom dynamics, switching, hair pulling, slapping, protected and unprotected sex, breeding, impreg kink/forced pregnancy, cock warming, hidden camera use, choking, mind break, surprise character smut(👀).

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂�� ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･･

Art class had taught you more than expected when you chose the extra curriculum for ‘stress relief’ as the school’s counselor put it, emphasizing how fast you will burn out if you don’t allow yourself one light work subject.

‘Paint me something pretty today.’ Jeno smirked near the entrance, stepping backward to keep his gaze on yours until he could no longer see you from the hallway.

Blue, sky blue.

Jeno’s favorite color is sky blue, which he mentioned one day when grabbing you after class. The only one of your courses he’d been unable to transfer into because it’d interfere with his degree.

‘It’s a shame we can’t be together all day.’ Jeno traced a faded spot along the column of your throat while you studied color theory. A mixture of blue and yellow bruises speckled with red bits of gnawed skin.

Art class has taught you many things, one being- you aren’t very artistic, and that much like the blue sky had turned darker earlier these days, so had your mind.

Jeno rained trickles of blues into your favorite colors, he muddied a bright day, stained pools of misery around your world.

Sky blue is an ugly color, you think, because even as he smiled with an arm slung over your shoulders walking through the first drops of November rain; Jeno robbed hues of yellow and gold from the sun. He gathered red from the last days of summer heat and stormed through your life on a cloud tainting everything a miserable shade of black.

Art class had really become your everyday sanctuary, a time away from him. Time to pretend that Jeno had never invaded your days.

A time to daydream from aw you hid behind a canvas, imagine ‘what if’, and admire a student from across too focused on his work to spare you a glance.

and when Jeno would arrive ready to prance you through the halls as his play thing, his little toy, you couldn’t help but wonder..

In another life you could have fallen for Jeno. You could have loved him, developed a healthy relationship, formed fond memories to reflect upon together in the future.

But in this life, you hate him.

Hate may be a strong word, but as you sit across from the bane of your existence, you know one thing is certain.

You hate Jeno Lee.

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･･

Perhaps it is to your detriment that Jeno has made you feel nothing, unless numbness can be classified as an emotion.

By the round of omnipresent gasps and whispers that reach your ears each time you enter a room with him, it’s hard to not fixate on the way his presence alone stirs the first rumble of what can only be classified as a concrete shattering earthquake. Maybe that’s the problem, because even when Jeno’s arms are wrapped around your waist from behind, leading you through the cafeteria to sit at a table alone with eyes of vultures ready to pick your flesh apart inch by inch; you cannot find it in yourself to care. Not anymore, not even close, not even a little.

“I like it when you wear your hair down.” Jeno whispers, fixing your loose locks to one side. “It’s really cute how you think this is enough to cover yourself and hide from me.”

Bony fingers trace patterns of sadness atop the marks he’s drawn along your throat. “Pretty.”

Cute. Pretty. Meaningless compliments, because how could they hold any meaning pouring from a soul filled with nothing but darkness.

Even as you sit pressed to his side in the back of the library, you feel sick, scribbling a mental note to wear your hair up more often. His compliments replay like a broken record, scratching the way up your thigh to a cut between the juncture of your knee. Your teeth clench as you claw your jagged nails up your inner thigh, attempting to make the mental gash real just to feel something. Dig the wound deeper, much like Jeno’s sweet words strike similar to the tip of a blunt tip knife; aimed recklessly at your soul slicing through inch by inch. Cutting you open until your blood has been drained of all life.

His eyebrows furrow, gaze following along to your hand and slapping your wrist away. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I need to use the restroom.”

“Great!” Jeno pipes up, grabbing your bag. “So do I.”

“Jeno..”

Standing up, he smiles expectantly, lip quirked to one side daring you to speak out loud against him. It’s useless, you know better by now.

“Can we make it fast this time? The bell will ring soon..” you mumble quietly, walking alongside him toward the exit.

“Worried you’ll miss your precious little painting class?” Jeno nudges you toward the mens bathroom, grabbing a hold around your elbow as he steps in first. “EMPTY OUT!” He roars, followed by an urgent shuffle and toilet flushing as one of the new Freshmen you recognize scuttles out with his head ducked, toilet paper attached to the back of his sneaker.

Jeno laughs breathily, entertained by the younger's fearful exit. The fear that he can instill in anyone easily with the snap of his fingers, or a mere glance. Turning toward you, he smiles, nodding to one of the stalls. “All yours.”

“That wasn’t necessary..” you say quietly, moving past him to find the cleanest stall available, nose scrunched in disgust as you settle on one and turn to shut the door. “Shit.” You startle jumping back, clutching at your chest.

Jeno latches onto the stalls frame, peering down at you. “No need to close the door Teddy, it’s only me.”

“Jeno, please..”

“You know I hate it when you do that.” Jeno swings his body back and forth, head shaking side to side slowly. “You said you need to use the bathroom?”

Locking your eyes to the floor, you’re at least thankful for choosing a skirt to wear today, lifting, sliding your underwear to your knees as you squat down and settle with your skirt fanned out over your thighs.

Jeno turns to laugh, rolling his eyes. “The way you still act so shy, like you’re ashamed..”

As if he hasn’t defiled you and had his way with you in every which way he prefers. “Cute.” Jeno’s gaze traces up from your sneakers to where your knees clench together, running his tongue under the inside of his lip. “Done?”

Scooting closer, his arms drop down to his sides, shoulders appearing more broad from where he looms above you. “And look at that, with time to spare still.”

Jeno grips around your upper arm, hoisting you up to your feet, panicked as you’d just begun to reach for the roll of toilet paper. “What’re yo—stop!”

Ignoring you, he flips you around to press your back against the stall, licking across his lips akin to a rabid animal. “Don’t worry about that, I’ll clean you up.”

He drops to his knees, bunching your skirt up to your waist as he perches one of your legs upon his shoulder, face burying between your thighs.

“Jeno, don’t! That’s too—“

The drag of his tongue has you choking, squirming back to get away as heat fills your cheeks, completely mortified by the sweep of his tongue running up and down. “N-no!”

Jeno groans, face shaking side to side as he makes sure to cover each inch of the skin between your thighs, tongue greedily running rampant between your folds. “That’s so disgusting.” You cry, pushing at his head, nails dug into his scalp

Jeno rushes back with a hiss, eyes snapping open wildly as he apprehends your wrists and clutches around your forearms roughly, returning the feeling with his short filed nails. “Funny how you only shut up at the worst times.” Overpowered, he pulls on your arms to launch himself back up, twisting them around your back painfully to press you to the stall chest first. “So difficult.”

Returning to his knees, he flips your skirt back up, keeping your wrists tethered with one hand. “Thought you wanted to get to class on time?” Jeno’s nose drags between your bottom, sucking in a deep inhale. “Fuck.”

He groans, biting down on the cleft of your ass hard enough to leave marks behind. A new one to join the rest that he makes sure to add daily. “Nothing about this is disgusting.” Cupping one of your buttcheeks, he bounces the meaty flesh against his face, eyes rolling up as his nose dips against your tight ring of muscle.

“Not there!” You wheeze, scrabbling to get away by uselessly scratching down the wall.

“You’ll get used to it.” He rumbles against your core, lips circling your entrance with a lewd slurp; not missing a drop of your arousal beginning to drip out. “Ridiculous how good you taste.”

Clapping your ass against his cheek without pause, Jeno’s neck bends back more, jaw opening wide to swipe his tongue from your clit to your hole, growling between short staggered breaths. Each drag of his nose slowly circling your rim humiliates you worse, biting down to keep in your complaints the more he goes for it. Splaying out his palm, he spreads your ass completely open, unveiling the taut ring of muscle clenching helplessly.

Jeno kisses at the backs of his teeth, drawing in a sharp breath as his index finger extends to tap and tease your rim, cheek dimpling to one side the more you fail to pull away. “You’ll let me fuck you here next, yeah?” He laughs, pushing your trapped fist into your lower back to form a deep arch. “Fill up all your holes, is that what you want?”

“N-no..” You grimace, face pressed to the chill bathroom stall. “Please, hurry, please.”

His tongue clicks obnoxiously, blowing on your rim before setting down a searing kiss, tongue smoothing around in a circle. “Why should I hurry? I don’t even get to fuck you.” He sneers, eyeing the time on his wrist.

“Later,” you pipe up fast, rutting back against his face to convince him. “After school, we can.. do that..”

His eyebrows shoot high, peering up in surprise. “Oh yeah? I’ll hold you to that, Teddy.” He bites down on your buttcheek again for good measure, nipping the skin roughly. “Now be good, and hold yourself open if you want to make it on time.” His grip on your wrist loosens, shaking off the sting left behind only for a second before he slaps your palms down on your butt and adjusts your position to expose both your holes. “That’s it.”

Thick arms circle around your thighs, biceps flexing to keep a snug grip on you as his hot tongue returns to your center and glides between your folds, inching lower until his lips can wrap around your clit.

“Uhhnnghhh..” you jolt, firmly tucking in your mouth to suppress a moan from soaring out.

Jeno’s hands swipe up the front of your thighs, gliding his mouth and nose from your wet hole to your clit with teasing firm flicks of his tongue; three of his digits find your bundle of nerves right as his mouth latches back around your entrance. His tongue buries deep, lifting your toes to curl up off the floor, knocking your forehead against the wall as you fight to keep in a desperate cry.

He’s relentless, tongue expertly waving against your insides, the muscle strong and thick. “Ugh!” A whine breaks through your sealed lips, smacking the stall as he taps your clit repeatedly, urging you to break down and squeeze your release around his tongue.

Jeno draws out, mouth a mess of shiny wet, panting heavily. “Come on, give me what I want.” He slaps your clit roughly, spitting at your entrance before plunging in, nosing at your rim harshly as he struggles to breathe out of his nostrils. He grumbles between choked breaths, tongue working in and out of your hole with precise thrusts. Each rub to you rim, stroke against your clit, and incessant roll of his tongue inside of you shoots straight through your legs, ready to collapse if not for his arms keeping you held in place.

“Je—I—“ your eyes roll back, grateful that he can’t see the wash of pleasure pouring down your face. Turned putty under his ministrations as you clamp around his tongue shamefully, scratching down the stall in a weak attempt to get away.

Jeno drags out only to lick up the trickle that managed to escape his mouth, lapping your inner thighs clean with a deep moan. Each swipe of his tongue raises your humiliation up higher, hissing and jerking away when he reaches the cut along your knee.

“What is this?” He grips a hold around your calve, forcing you to balance on one leg to get an up close look and inspect how deep the wound goes. “When did you do this?”

“Don’t know, think when I ran down the stairs to meet you this morning the stair bannister skimmed my leg..”

He grunts displeased, setting your foot down to stand and kick open the door. “Come here.”

Jeno motions to the sinks, dropping both of your backpacks down next to you on the counter. “Does it hurt?”

He examines your knee closer, propping your foot to rest along the sink ledge, tongue poked between his teeth.

“Why do you care?” You ask with a scowl, reassigning your attention to the bathroom floor when Jeno slowly blinks at you and reaches to open his backpack.

“Is that a serious question?”

“Whatever.”

He nods, huffing an amused sound under his breath as he grabs a pack of sanitation wipes. “This may sting but I’d rather you not get some infection, especially after scratching at it.”

He proceeds to lightly dab the wound, drawing a hiss between your teeth despite how gentle he’s trying to be.

“You don’t have to do that,” you bite, leg jerking in his hold. “I won’t pick at it anymore.”

“Sure.” Pink lips purse together, delicately blowing over the area. “I don’t have much, but I’ll cover it up with some gauze when we get home later.”

Home.

Jeno speaks as if you live together, and you may as well at this point. Ripping a bandage open with his teeth, his eyes thin to place the non-sticky white where your flesh appears most harmed. “You’re mine now, I expect you to be more careful than this with your body.”

Squeezing up your calve, his thin digits dig through the meat of your muscle, trapping your bouncing gaze. “Maybe it’s best you move out of that shit hole you live in. That areas not well fit for a young girl to live alone there.”

“I can’t afford to move..”

Jeno’s lips gingerly land atop the bandaid, puckering to press a kiss. “I’ll figure something out.”

“You’re being weird.” You whisper, turning away from the sight of his pouty mouth continuing to layer kisses over your wound as if to heal you faster.

“It’s okay.” He draws your foot off the counter, taking a hold of your thighs to make space for himself to stand closer between. “It’s okay to accept it.”

Jeno’s eyes appear black as night, empty of any genuine thought or emotion, but even then your chest aches at the flicker of hope when he looks at you. It’s different, nothing you’ve experienced from anyone else. He looks at you like you’re..

“Special.” He whispers, pinching your chin as he leans in closer and his palm smooths over the covered wound. “Does it hurt?”

“..Would you hurt me?” Your lips move faster than you mind can register, asking yourself the question over and over again without realizing you’ve said it outloud.

Jeno blinks slowly, taking in your nervous expression. Opening up his palm, he moves to cup your chin and keep your face visible as you try to hide away, slowly inching forward to connect your mouth to his.

The bell rings right before your lips can meet, dislodging the breath you hadn’t even realized you’d been holding. It’s easy to break from your thoughts and push yourself off from the sink, scoot around him fast with the excuse of being late. “My scholarship.” You constantly remind him, receiving nothing more than a roll of his eyes in return.

“Yeah yeah,” he trails after you out of the bathroom, voice low and threatening. “I’m holding you to what you said for later, don’t forget.”

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･･

Jeno met Haechan the first day of Freshman year of high school.

Excited to show off a new pair of shoes with wheels attached on the soles, he rolled through the hallways to his first class. That’s when he noticed an on-slaught of senior girls running by in their short cheerleading uniforms. Giggling and waving as they jogged by him cackling from behind their hands- ‘hey freshie’.

All too distracted with a goofy smile on his face, he missed the shorter boy wandering ahead of him lost. An unfortunate collision caused their foreheads to bump hard enough for a bruise to show up on both of them by lunch.

Haechan hissed, crashing flat on his bottom painfully; Jeno quickly apologized and helped him up. Little did he know they’d become great friends from that day forward.

Jeno’s not jealous of Haechan, not necessarily. He admires how giving his friend can be, really. If Jeno ever forgets to grab his packed lunch, Haechan will always offer to share. He’s always sure to invite Jeno over to play games whenever his dad purchases the latest gaming console. He’d even go as far as lending Jeno the shirt off his back if needed.

‘What are friends for if not to have you back in any situation?’ That’s what Haechan would say whenever Jeno felt rendered speechless by his friend's generosity.

The thing is, Jeno had never had a friend like Haechan. He questions if he can even call his relationships with others friendships anymore.

Unlike Haechan, Jeno had trained himself to not share. Friends had only become burdensome with time. Always asking him to play with his toys, mooching from his delicious snacks, making a big deal over the new pair of sneakers he wore that day.

They liked him because he had nice things, but they didn’t actually care about him. They cared about materialistic bullshit, about his good looks, the designer name brand clothing he’d wear.

Haechan was different from all of them. One day he opened up and shared that he’d felt homesick. Vulnerable at the time after a long tiresome day of introducing himself to groups of snobby fake stuck up people. One even pointed out a manga on his desk saying- ‘I’ve only seen weird loners read that shit’.

‘I had a friend.. back home.’ Haechan had sighed despairingly, head dropped lazily on his bed; drained by the realization that this is his new life. ‘Well.. I wanted her to be more than a friend.’

Jeno watched Haechan over the next few years. His friend changed, reformed his persona to fit in with the standard; he adapted quickly to this new lifestyle. Days of asking Jeno if he’d like some of his lunch dwindled down to nothing; seemingly only irritated that Jeno could be so forgetful of he ever asked for his leftovers.

Things had only become more tense with time. Haechan had grown competitive with everyone. He craved to be the ‘it’ boy around school. It never phased Jeno, not really, he learned to accept the change in his friend.

Then came the day Haechan decided that Jeno was his competition.

“Jeno, don’t you think this Cartier bracelet would look so cute on my wrist?” Sinclair waved her phone in his face. Wrist waggling out toward him, suggesting with her flirty batting eyelashes that he buy it for her; she had been on his ass for months dropping hints. “Perhaps you could finally ask me out with a gesture such as this?”

“He can’t afford that.” Haechan rolls his eyes letting out a breathy scoff by her side.

“Of course he can, nothing a swipe of your dad’s Amex can’t cover. He won’t even notice it on the monthly statement.” Sinclair goes on.

“His dad’s broke.” Haechan corrects her abruptly, glancing quickly toward Jeno’s burning glare. “I mean, uh... don’t repeat that.”

Haechan snatches her phone, waving off that he’d buy it for her when he takes her out come Friday.

All it took was some stupid girl Jeno could give a fuck about for Haechan to let him down for the last time. It bothered him for months, imagining the various ways he could split his ‘friends’ skull open.

“I won’t mention it again dude. It was a mistake, alright?” Haechan whispers standing near his locker after Jeno had resorted to the silent treatment for the rest of the week. “Listen, I’m sure she’s already forgotten. I’ll just take her to some overpriced restaurant and tell her I made that up because I was high or whatever.”

“You promised me you wouldn’t tell anyone.”

“Promises are for children Jeno, I forgot alright? I’m allowed to make a mistake.” Haechan showed no remorse. Proving his promises to be empty, backed by no integrity, lacking worth and value. Jeno knew deep down Haechan only continued to befriend him out of guilt, he knew their relationship boiled down to nothing for the other at the end of the day.

He knew he had to do something about it, but he couldn't. He had to wait for the perfect timing. He had to leave Haechan defenseless. He needed to ensure no way for his father to find out of his plan. Leave Haechan with no way to snitch and rat him out, a threat strong enough to hold over his friend's head.

The day you came along everything fell into place. Jeno knew as he watched Haechan’s head lay on your shoulder from behind a bookshelf in the library, you clearly meant something to him. None of it made sense at first. Why would Haechan care about you of all people?

“Remember that girl you mentioned from back home?” Jeno decides to casually bring up the story he’d hardly cared about or paid attention to while gaming. His friend's throat cleared on the opposite end from behind his computer screen.

“Yeah, what about her?” Haechan says, continuing to mumble curses as he goes on playing.

“Whatever happened to her? Did you two keep in touch at all?” Jeno asks, cursing at the screen to seem casually interested.

“Uhhh,” Haechan swallows, shrugging. “Honestly, don’t know.”

Liar.

Jeno’s teeth grit, holding back a laugh. “That’s too bad, you two were really close, I remember how tore up you were back then when you had first moved. Took you a while to get over it.”

“Man, that was so long ago.” Haechan waves off. “I was a kid.”

Raising a finger to silence their conversation, Haechan pauses the game, picking up his phone after the first ring. “Hey baby, nah I’m just with Jeno, yeah the usual.” Haechan proceeded to ignore him, the old friend he once cherished long gone now.

Just like you.

There are times you want to ask ‘Why me? Why me of all people? Out of all the girls withering away for a mere blink from Jeno in their directions, what the fuck made me matter.’

The unplanned vow of silence you’ve committed to halts those times your tongue itches to lash at him, and you listen, you listen well, very well. It’s to your detriment really, because Jeno adores that you listen, he loves the implication of the power he constricts you with behind your binded lips.

It’s also to his detriment that— for lack of better words, Jeno isn’t the brightest. Maybe he doesn’t want to come off too intelligent, you contemplate as he gushes on about his lost friendship; his favorite topic other than you really.

Haechan.

Jeno’s obsessed with Haechan, at least he’s obsessed with the fact that Haechan won. Between his foul rehashing of times his alleged best friend made him feel futile, it’s easy to decipher why it had to be you.

Not to make Haechan jealous, no. Haechan could give a fuck about you.

Jeno sees the precious memories of his former friend that he lost in you. The glint in his iris sparkles, satisfied by your raptured gaze as he wraps up his story.

“That’s why you’re so perfect.” He says proudly, capturing his bottom lip between index finger and thumb, massaging it while a hum rises up his throat. “Had to be you. You’re the answer I’ve been waiting for.”

The answer. What the fuck does that even mean, you squint, blinking it away fast. Jeno beams, pulling you closer to him with his arm snaking around your waist. “I like when you do that, makes me wonder what’s going on in that brain of yours. Something devious I’m sure.”

Carrying your bag, he hooks an arm over your shoulder, drawing you close as you venture to your next class together. “Hey.”

Maneuvering you around to face him, he stops at the classroom door, grabbing the attention of numerous students as he blocks the entrance making an awkward scene for you. “What are yo—“

“I love you.” Jeno announces loud and clear, receiving a round of gasps and an uproar of whispers. He smiles, cheeks lined with wrinkles, eyebrows raised as he waits.

“Wha—…” breaking off, you peer around quickly, sweat pouring down your back out of fear. Anger and an oncoming storm raging through your gut. “What.”

He lets out a chuckle, sighing as he hugs your back to his chest and proceeds to make way to your seats, further boiling the heat building up your chest. “My sweet sweet Teddy.”

“What the hell is wrong with you!” You hiss, throwing your shoulder into his chest to continue to your seat under the eyes of the entirety of your class. Rounds of whispers sing around you, the usual confusion you’ve become accustomed to laced between every shared word.

He sits by your side, arm back around you in no time with a large smile, nodding and peering around the room to affirm that he meant what he just said.

Every cell in your body wants to explode, throw Jeno down onto the ground and crush his face under your foot. The squeeze around your shoulder curls you in further, wishing to be anywhere but here.

“Cold?” He asks, knowing that you aren’t, it’s a mere excuse to wrap himself around you more. His nose nuzzles against your hair, taking a deep inhale with a suffocating possessive hug wrapped tightly you. “Can’t have my Teddy get sick.”

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･･ ⋆ ･

“Teddy.”

It’s shrill, nausea inducing, the way Jeno’s grown fond of this nickname for you.

The way he smiles and peers at you with some sick adoration as he calls you his teddy bear again.

While you feel trapped and disgusted, everyone else seems confused, peeved, and to be gossiping about the two of you.

Haechan’s girlfriend sports an ugly sneer when you walk by wrapped under one of Jeno’s arms; snapping the pencil in her hand into a broken half as he sets a kiss on your forehead, smirking at the round of gasps your schoolmates let out throughout the hallway.

“They’re all so jealous of you.”

They are jealous of you, watchful eyes speak volumes following your conjoined figures heading toward the parking lot.

Jeno has successfully transferred into nearly all of your classes, he picks you up and drops you off. Blows up your phone with texts and calls the second you’re apart. He doesn’t ask for updates or proof of what you’re doing, he demands it. Threats fall empty now, you don’t have much to say, he does the talking.

You listen.

“Our assignments are due next week.” He mutters, pulling away from the school in an opposite direction from where you live.

Our. Mine. His.

Nothing is yours anymore, Jeno made sure of that.

“I have to be home soon..”

“Oh yeah?” He lets out a breathy laugh, drumming the steering wheel while sat at a red light. “Last I checked you only have to be with me, your parents only call to check in on you once a week. They don’t have to know your location at all times teddy.”

Oh but he has to know. He knows everything about you, every excuse and lie you can concoct shot down by weeks of evidence collected while studying you from afar. Far enough for you to never catch on, too clueless because of your own insecurities to ever fathom that someone like Jeno could be obsessed with you.

“Besides, today is a special day.” He exclaims, driving into a gated community full of large three story houses resembling suburban mansions.

“How could you forget?” Jeno parks, moving to unbuckle your seatbelt. He sighs, pinching your chin to look at him. “It’s our one month.”

He pouts, bottom lip jutted out while blinking dumb and slow.

Sometimes you think that Jeno’s cute, and that makes you hate yourself more than anything. All you can do is avert your gaze, pretend he has no affect on you, keep up an act that he’s emptied you of any possible emotion; because he wants to destroy you. He wants you to feel helpless, wants you to rely on him because you have nothing else.

He’s pushing you inside of the house, digging into your knees from behind with his, built arms tightly wrapped around your waist. Suffocating you, that’s what he does, coating you in his scent, sucking out your energy throughout the duration of each day with the metaphoric needles he prickles you with. Every word that drips from his tongue feels like acid poured onto your flesh, burning through the layers to melt you deep inside until the pain goes numb.

His families house is enormous, spread out and fully furnished. Luxurious like some 5 star hotel, which Jeno hasn’t let you forget is only thanks to Haechan’s father for saving their ass.

‘My dad can’t afford this place anymore. The bank owns our house by now, but he’ll do anything to keep up appearances.’

That’s what he mentioned during lunch one day, ranting about how he can’t stand the way everyone ‘keeps up appearances’ around here; snickering disdainfully toward the table his former best friend sat at.

‘Especially him. Fake asshole.’

Jeno stops you in front of his bedroom door standing by itself in the hallway he’s led you through.

A dark empty hallway, away from all of the other bedrooms. Ominous and cold.

“You know the way, open the door teddy.”

Of course you know, it may as well be your bedroom at this point.

“I have a surprise for you.”

Jeno’s palms cover your eyes when you reach for the door handle, stiffening your spine as his chest knocks against your back to make you step further inside.

Inside of his bedroom it’s dimly lit, a chilled temperature; the air cools down your throat with every breath you take.

“Do you like it?” He’s smiling against the shell of your ear, whispering softly. Revealing with the drop of his hands a giant plushie sat on his bed against the corner; a human size teddy bear.

He knows you don’t like it, even the question sounds like a dare; a dare for you to say that you don’t like it, that you don’t like any of this.

You especially don’t like Jeno, or the way his palms brush down your arms, shifting to your waist to gather your top up. Bunching at your stomach as he begins to remove it from your body.

“There's more, Teddy.”

Of course there’s more.

The tips of his fingers slowly trail between your breasts, throwing your top off with ease because you don’t struggle. You let him take off your clothes whenever he wants.

Most times he doesn’t touch you much, but he counts, he memorizes. He traces over indentations from teeth buried into your skin and faded bruises left behind after fucking you roughly. He makes sure there are no others, only Jeno can mark you, only Jeno can see you like this.

He takes time discarding your bottoms, unbuttoning slowly, pushing the material down your hips even slower. Squatting down to his knees to pepper faint kisses on your hips and thighs as more your flesh comes to light; finishing off with a peck on your forehead when he stands and motions toward the plushie.

“Don’t you want the rest of your gift?”

You nod, just barely, taking a step toward the bed. Met with a hand clasped on your shoulder and a ‘nu-uh-uh Teddy’.

Jeno smirks, pushing on your shoulder. “On your knees.”

On your knees like the pet you’ve become. Crawling with your palms flattened onto the bed. Heating up knowing he’s behind you watching your underwear ride up your ass. It’s less humiliating now, he’s made you do worse.

A small black box sits between the teddy bear's legs, adorned with a glittery red bow.

“Open it.”

Hesitantly you pull apart the lid, pursing your mouth shut at the piece of jewelry inside.

A choker, a solid black thin choker you will no doubt have to wear around your neck everyday now. A choker with a teddy bear charm punctured in place through a small metal ring.

“Ah, I can tell you love it already.” He chuckles, ripping the box from your hold. Shoving your hair away to lean close and lock the clasp around the back of your neck. Grazing the edge of his nose on your jaw and cheek as he does, a silent reminder that you are his, and he will do whatever he pleases with you.

Jeno has a sardonic smirk stretching his lips as he takes you in, fingering the charm dangling just beneath your throat.

“My teddy bear.”

Tips of cold fingers trace your neck, following the pulse passing through your veins, it’s all just to push your buttons. Jeno wants a reaction, he craves your pitiful stares and miserable moans, he needs your pain to feel something.

You won’t give him that satisfaction, not anymore.

He sighs, pushing your shoulder to nudge you in the direction of the large plush. “Don’t think I’m letting you off easily for forgetting our special day either.”

God. How could he possibly care enough about you to count down the days you’ve been ‘together’ or whatever he considers this. “Now, show me how much you love your gift.” He says with a wink, tapping your ass and nudging his chin to the teddy bear laid between his pillows.

This has to be some sick kink of his, and it’s impossible to forget what he made you do in that abandoned classroom a month ago..

“Just like last time.” He hums, moving onto the bed with his knees. “I know you remember.”

It’s not necessarily watching you grind against a toy that ripples blood through his veins faster, filling up his cock until it weighs heavy and hot between his thighs; but the saddened broken image before him, with your gaze lowered in shame as you mount the plush and grit your teeth. It’s the shattered feeble look of defeat that fills his chest with warmth more than anything. “That’s it.”

Reaching to smooth up your spine, he pushes at the backs of your shoulders, shifting closer to sit behind you on his knees. “Wanna see you ride it up close.”

He works to guide your hips down onto the bears stomach, pushing hard until your core meets the soft material and you let out a shameful whimper. Biting down on his lip as he slaps your thigh, squeezing up your butt to your waist with instruction to move.

It’s vile, rolling your hips down at his command, growing short of breath as the friction builds up between your legs and his strong hands manipulate your movements. Tears spring past the corners of your eyes the faster he makes you move up and down, grinding your core along the life-size plushie full of humiliation and fear.

“Your ass looks so fucking good.” He groans deeply behind you, rubbing down your back to cup your buttcheeks in a squeeze. Gripping and kneading, parting you open to watch your rim flutter against your panties with each pathetic hump against the teddy bear. “I know I couldn’t be your first time teddy..”

He leans in, chin resting on your shoulder to halt your movements as he dips in past the cleft of your ass to find your hole. “But I’ll be the first to fuck your ass.”

The gasp you try to keep mute still reaches his ears, softly chuckling against you as he adjusts and slides your underwear to one side. “Consider it your gift to me for forgetting our special day.”

Some special fucking day..

“You’re so wet already, doubt I’ll even have to prep you.” Jeno whispers, nudging the tip of his thumb against your rim. “Looks really tight, what do you think? Should I be nice and stretch you open first?”

“Please..p-please, I’ve never..”

“Shh shh, don’t worry, I believe you.” He chuckles softly, pressing the blunt tip of his length against your entrance. “With how tight that pussy is, I know you’ve never let anyone inside your ass. It’ll be a special memory only for us..”

Is it special? The tingle building in your stomach seems to agree, relaxing against the plushy to arch your butt out more. It has to be a Pavlovian response by now, conditioned to seek this pleasure Jeno provides you. Even if you hate accepting it. It’s not your fault that your body's natural response is to crave his touch, and spread your legs wider for it.

“I’ll be nice.” There’s amusement in the way he says it, like he doesn’t believe himself either. Slapping the mass of his cock down between the dip in your ass, cursing through clenched teeth. “You may not show it, but your cunt never lies.”

The bulbous tip swipes down, pressing against your clit, pushing your knees to slide open an inch more. It’s all taunting and teasing, running the fat cockhead between your chubbed folds, dipping it into your entrance just to watch you squirm and rut back for more. “Greedy pussy, acting like I don’t fuck you enough.”

He mumbles, smacking the underside of his length between your thighs. The wet clap stinging under the weight of his heavy size beating down on your swollen core. “J-Jeno..”

“Something wrong teddy?” He tuts, hips rolling up, gripping your buttcheeks to sandwich around his length. “You sound.. impatient.”

He gulps, trapping his cock under his thumbs to fuck between your buttcheeks faster. Wet tip prodding out, spilling precum down making the glide even easier. Each thrust passing over your pussy hole and rim makes your thighs tremble, burying your face deeper into the teddy bears neck. “Mmmph..”

“I know it hurts you Teddy..” Jeno’s words rasp against the back of your neck. Bending forward to paint your warm flesh with a coat of moisture. Sweat, raw sex and saliva combine, sticking your skin and his mouth together like hot glue. “Why do you have to be so good at taking it though? Huh?”

Breath fans your upper back, the drag of his tongue races across your shoulders to bite down a groan on one. Notable effort to make you squirm and scream becomes more prevalent with each smack of his hips against your ass, grunting deeper the more he exerts. “It’s because you like me, right?” He asks between the sound of a struggled laugh, gasping with another slide of his thick length passing between your thighs. “You’re drenching me sweetheart, making a fucking mess of my sheets. You know what I’m gonna have to do later?”

He’s silent for a few seconds, panting heavily as his tongue trails to lick the column of your throat. The glide of his cock between your thighs is disgustingly loud, squishing and splashing in volumized echoes around his bedroom. “Your lack of response is becoming predictable, you know.”

His lower half snaps, protruding hip bones beat against your backside. A gut crunching sensation curls up your chest, unable to deny the slick gush continuously leaking out of you and coating your ass and thighs the more frantic his motions become. “Can’t wash these sheets again, need to savor it. Remind you of how much you enjoyed it. How you finally gave in and accepted this fate.”

“N-no..”

“What was that?” Jeno asks breathlessly, gripping the base of his girth to position the tip against your rim. “You want more, don’t you?”

He presses in, watching his wet slit disappear past your asshole. “Ahh, no!! S-stop!”

He snickers, angling the tip to stretch your tight ring of muscle. “Relax. It’s going to hurt a lot if you don’t relax.”

“Please..go slow..” you sigh, biting on the plushy when he nudges more.

“Be calm teddy. You want this?” He drags the sharp edges of his well-filed nails down your ass painfully, surely leaving marks behind. “Want my face shoved in your ass, huh? That’s why you’re whining so much.”

Jeno always has a way of speaking to you during these intimate moments. So cold and uncaring. The icy tone breaking your skin out in goosebumps. Even with your mouth sucking around the teddy bears arm, you whimper, the urge to cry spiking as he removes your panties and lands a sharp strike down on your ass.

“Bent over all pretty for me teddy, you arch that butt out like such a good little slut.” His palm smooths down lower, patting your wet folds to make you listen to how wet you are from this alone. “Who knows, after this I might not even bother with your pussy anymore. Have my own brand new unused hole to fuck now.”

He teases, swiping your clit side to side, dragging the tips of your fingers between your cunt to prod at your entrance. “You’re so wet, I love how fucking wet you get.”

A shaky breath leaves your lips as he twists two fingers inside and buries in knuckle deep, pressing his thumb to your asshole. “Such a perfect slut for me, ready to be my anal whore.” Jeno pulls out and lands a slap down on your rim, hard enough for the sound to clap out around his bedroom. Your hips drop from the sudden impact, biting down a scream into the plushy. “Enough of that, I wanna hear you.”

Wrapping around your waist, he manhandles you easily onto the center of his bed. Laid down on your back softly for him to get a good look at you, for you to finally see him. He’s big, broad, looming over you in the dim light illuminating from the corner of his room. The strokes of yellow paint across his chest and muscle, the darkness pronouncing deep indentations of muscle lining his abdomen and arms. Jeno falls forward, catching himself above you with his biceps bracketing your head, smiling as he leans in to kiss the fresh tears lining your cheeks.

“As much as I wanna bend you over and fuck your ass like there’s no tomorrow.. “ he slows to kiss up from your chin to where droplets have pooled under the hollows of your eyes. Sucking up and kissing the wetness there, enjoying it more than you’d be able to comprehend. “Nothings better than watching your face when I fuck every inch of my cock inside..”

The pure joy glaring back at you from his dark glass irises rains more tears down your face, sniffling and shaking as he licks them clean and squishes your lips out. “Relax sweetheart, it’ll feel good for both of us. Promise.”

Thin digits run down from your jawline, tracing past your neck and over the mounds of your breasts. Jeno adjusts your position to haul one of your thighs up, using his shoulder to keep your knee pressed against the bed. He makes a show of bringing his hand up to his mouth, sucking around three fingers, dragging his sloppy wet tongue between each with laser focused eyes locked on yours.

“You’re so good for me teddy, gonna let me use that pretty ass..” the way he holds you open exposes both of your holes, hovering past your swollen wet cunt to press two fingers against the clench of your asshole. “Just one baby..”

He presses the tip of one slicked up digit in, breaching the tight little muscle until you whine desperately. “Feels so warm..” Jeno’s eyes flutter, thick black eyelashes still visible in the low light. He sounds throaty, hungry, exasperated and needy. Quietly muttering to himself about how good your tight hole feels as he begins to pull his finger in and out slowly. “Bet your pussy was even tighter than this when you were still a virgin.”

His voice comes out a lot more harsh, gravelly, guiding another finger in with the next stroke. They scissor through and flutter against your inner walls, tugging lightly at your rim as he dips out to the just the tips. “You’re opening up great for me sweetheart. Do you see how you always listen so good?”

Jeno sits on his knees like a predator catching his prey after a long meticulous hunt. Prodding another tip past your rim alongside the two, the muscles lining his arm rippling, exerting more strength to not push them in all at once. “Tell me teddy, are you desperate enough for me to even let me claim your ass?”

Your throat dries, pursing your lips together to quell the moan that nearly spills out. It’s a new type of full, sneaking peeks at the veins running down his inner forearm leading to the fingers working you open. A wash of shame and heat streaks down your limbs, shivering when Jeno draws his digits free, dangling them above your ass.

“I know you are.” He lands another slap between your thighs, making your extended leg jerk. Fixing his angle to line the tip of his cock with your rim, the large blunt tip presses down, having to tuck your lips in to not scream. “..but I want to hear you say it.”

The head of his cock nudges in, pulling a gasp from your chest. Jeno bends closer to grab your jaw, shake your head around until you look at him. “Tell me to fuck your ass.”

“I’m—“ your voice sounds unrecognizable, squeaking out brokenly, overpowering the one you’re used to. “I—‘wan—“

Bending in closer, the pull up your hamstring burns, further pushing your leg against the bed. He pushes in another inch, the bulbous tip nearly fully entering, skin stretched taut around him. “You can do it, I know you can do it. Tell me sweetheart.”

“F-fuck—“ you pause, the last bits of your mind slipping away to another dimension. “Fuck m-my ass, please—fuck my a-ass.”

A sick pleased smile lifts the corners of his lips, bumping the tip of his nose to yours. Jeno doesn’t fuck the rest of his length in immediately the way you expect, slowly pushing each inch to savor the snap around his shaft.

It’s when his hips bump against the backs of your thighs that you finally take in a deep breath you didn’t know you were holding. Panting out heavily and wide eyed when you can feel the entirety of his cock fully sheathed inside of you.

It’s when Jeno begins to pull out that you bite down to keep in a scream, lifting up on his forearms caged around your head to watch his length draw free. It feels like he’s splitting you in two and he hasn’t even really gotten into it yet. It goes on like that for a minute or two, his head hung, black hair in your face, awestruck by your rim sucking around his dick each time he pulls out to the tip. He gains speed slowly, snapping his hips forward for the first time. Jolting your spine to arch up and finally release a tiny scream you can’t hold in any longer.

“Pussys making such a mess teddy..” Jeno rasps, throwing his head back, pink lips hung open. “Fuck, you’re dripping down to my balls. Love getting fucked up the ass.”

Every thought racing through your mind dissolves, blank and empty as you crane your neck to the side to get a look at what he’s going on about. Embarrassment flushes down your face, unconsciously clamping down on his length plunging in faster. The powerful snap of his hips rocking you deep into his bed, surrounded by Jeno Jeno Jeno. His smell, his touch, his mouth and his meaty girth stretching you open. It’s become something you expect, something you’d feel weird without now, Jeno.

It burns when he buries in deep, grabbing onto the back of your knee for better control. The stretch feels more and more overwhelming with each pass of his cock manipulating your tight ring of muscle further. Digging his knees steadily into the bed, he picks up the pace and kicks his hips forward to fuck in to the hilt.

“Love fucking your ass. Love fucking you.” Jeno’s eyes clench shut, blinking quickly to open them and shove his forehead against yours. “Love you.”

God it makes your stomach churn, half pulled into a pleasure that feels too good to be true; sickened by how good it feels to be impaled by his fat cock. Half suffocated by the rushing swarm of emotions lassoing your brain, tightening until you feel ready to burst. And Jeno again with the fucking L word, dropping it like nothing, making sure you feel each syllable through his girth splitting you open.

The push and pull against your clenching rim feels painful, feels good, makes your head spin. He eats it up, licking across your lips, trapping the bottom between his teeth to suck on. Nose dragging down your cheek, lapping the tears, sweat and spit painting your face. It should feel disgusting, you should feel repulsed, but this behaviors become so standard now. Jeno’s like a puppy sometimes, burying his face in your neck, searching for a place to lay new kisses.

Even during these times when he’s on top of you, pushing his cock in deep enough to bruise your cervix, your fingers itch to touch him. He usually does it for you, grabs your wrists and forces your hands to drag down his face, kissing the inside of your palms and wrists.

He seems more intent on kissing you right now, letting ragged breaths fans across your lips between light pecks. “Can you cum like this?” He asks, murmuring against your mouth.

“I—I d-don’t know..” you really don’t. It’s your first time and the pleasures surging all over in different directions, racing between pain and confusion back to arousal and need.

“You can.” Jeno whispers, lowering his face to your neck, gaze focused on your connected lower halves. “You’re so wet.”

Fingers trail down your stomach, softly skimming over your clit before easing between your folds. He sinks two inside, thumb rubbing your clit in a simultaneous motion, filling you from both ends. “Ugh! Yeah just like that sweetheart..”

Jeno snaps forward, trying to match the rhythm of his hips to his fingers. He bites down on your jugular, panting heavily against your throat. The burn of the stretch crashes against waves of pleasure, twitching up with each rough rub at your clit.

“I’m—I’m c-cumm—“ the sob you break off into has him moving faster akin to a feral animal. The weight of his bulky frame lands down on you hard enough to make his bed shake, headboard slam against the wall. Each brush of his thumb at your clit feels more sensitive than the last, sending you over the edge, mind blank beyond the grip your ass has around his cock. “Ahh!”

The wetness spilling out past his fingers slides all the way down to your lower back, further solidifying your humiliation. Because he’s right, you are wet just from this, loving your ass stuffed full. Drowning in the sensation of his length ramming in and out.

“Squeeze that fuckhole around me so good teddy, cum cum—“ Jeno chants manically, throwing his hips down rough and fast. Pressing down your clit harshly between viscous flicks, rolling the stiff nub until your toes curl.

You spill over quickly, writhing under his weight as the pressure of wetness pushes his fingers out of your cunt. The orgasm rolls through you like no other, rolling your eyes to the back of your skull. Thinking you’ve passed off into the afterlife if not for the way he draws back and pounds into your ass.

“You like it?!” Jeno’s expression morphs into one of anger, black eyebrows furrowed together. He grabs your face again, chasing after his release still slamming his cock in deep. “You like getting fucked up the ass?”

The questions pointed, furious. The face of frustration and anger only there to mask how close he is to falling apart, reaching a new high as he charges to the peak.

“L-love it, yes..” you barely whisper, tear filled eyes blinking the moisture away to watch his features contort and crumble. His pace turns erratic, breath quickening fast enough for his chest to beat up and down. Letting out a deep growl, Jeno comes to a still, mouth hung open letting a chopped up groan roll off his tongue. His cock thrums wildly against your inner walls, flooding your ass with warm white cum you’ve had poured inside of your cunt for weeks.

The little sounds dripping from his lips sounds anguished, whimpering when he thrusts in one more time to ensure his cums evenly painted your insides. “Love you so much..”

His eyes fall shut, nose dug into your cheek catching his breath. The tips of your fingers tingle again, itching and burning to comb through his soft dark locks, to smooth the sweaty strands off his forehead. It feels like the right thing to do.. maybe with anyone else.

But you want it to feel right with Jeno..

He grumbles, littering kisses down your cheek to the corner of your mouth. “Gonna pull out, okay?”

You don’t respond, not even a nod, only hissing through your teeth as you gape and the now cooled down semen trickles out of your ass disgustingly, really cementing what you’ve just done. What you’ve let him do to you again.

Jeno hums softly, laying by your side without a worry, seeming pleased and full of life judging by the small smile on his face. “Happy anniversary teddy.” He reaches for your hand, scrabbling to entwine your fingers when you try to pull away.

“What’re you thinking about?” He murmurs, shifting closer to your side as you curl into yourself to get further away. “I don’t even have to ask. I’m sure I can throw out a wild guess..”

He lets out a long sigh, huffing a quiet laugh. “You’re not as good at masking your emotions as you may think.. You have to erase those old memories you have of Haechan. He’s not a good guy.” Jeno remarks, nudging his elbow against your side. “He’s a bad person.”

“You are no better..” You accuse, a bit surprised, whispering with your mouth pressed against his bed. The last person you’re thinking about right now is Haechan(..maybe). Jeno’s smile only grows wider, tickled to hear you talking back finally.

“There’s a difference between me and him.” He says surely, slinging an arm around your waist, hooking his chin over your shoulder as he presses in close to whisper. “He changed to please everyone. I just don’t care anymore.”

“You’re both terrible people..”

Jeno sighs, smile still evident in his tone, leaning closer kissing your ear. “I love you.”

“Stop saying that.” You mutter, digging your elbow back to push space between you.

“Why would I do that?” Smoothing your arm down, he kisses the end of your jaw, licking your earlobe. “I love you, I know you won’t say it back, but that won’t stop me from letting you know that I love you.” He cozies up against you, yawning. “Get some rest, we have that test to pass tomorrow.”

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･･ ⋆ ･

Jeno has that look on his face again, the one that shifts from raunchy to feral hunger, the one that has him reaching to grab you in less than a second.

“I’m still sore..”

“I barely even touched your pussy.” He says cocking an eyebrow, phone dinging in his pocket over and over again. “Was I too mean teddy?” His palm swipes down the curve of your ass, cupping your buttcheek.

Ding. Ding. Ding.

He groans, smacking your butt lightly before reaching to free his phone.

“Shit, my dad’s blowing up my phone.” He huffs annoyed, swiping through paragraphs of text messages. Most yelling at him in all caps lock for not answering his phone. “He needs me to pick up some files from his home office, says it’s urgent. Something about an accident..”

Frustrated, he hoists his bag and adjusts yours on his other arm, nodding toward the end of the hall. “Come on.”

“Jeno, the test—I can’t!”

He sets you with a look that nearly makes you crumble, ready to succumb and follow his orders. “Please, you know my grades..”

Dragging the tip of his tongue between his teeth, he sighs deep and loud, pinching the skin between his eyebrows together. “Fine.”

What?

He looks irritated, upper lip twitching stretched over his teeth trying to control his anger. “But I’ll try to come back later to pick you up. If you take longer than a minute to reply to me, I swear to fucking God—“

“I won’t!” You almost add a ‘thank you’, biting down on your tongue to stop yourself. “I’ll keep my phone within view shot in case of anything..”

Jeno rubs at his temples, shoulders visibly trembling. “Fuck. Whatever. Fine.”

He stops to take in your elated expression, cupping your cheeks, thumbs caressing your soft skin. “Don’t forget, I love you.”

You won’t say it back, he knows you won’t, but he waits for a minute, a flicker of hope passing behind his gaze. “Good luck on your test, I know you don’t need it teddy.”

He leans in and kisses you, full control on his end. Making a real show of it by shoving his tongue down your throat right in the middle of the hallway where everyone watches and whispers nasty remarks. He wants them to see, he wants certain people to see especially. Public display of affection had never been something you enjoyed, or even experienced before Jeno, but he made it something you had to learn to endure.

“Be good.” He says quietly, warningly, slipping your bag from his shoulder. “I’ll see you soon.”

You nearly risk being late to class just to watch him leave, having to run to make it on time. The first time you’ve been alone in days, weeks even. Sitting down at your desk with a sense of relief, a crippling weight lifted off your spine. This test would be a breeze without him there to breath down your neck.

It is really crazy how you turn to the empty seat next to you numerous times though, fully expecting to see him there waiting for the next answer. Finishing off your exam without handing it over to Jeno to ensure he copied all of your answers felt odd, peering at your phone over and over again expecting notifications only to have none.

So. This is life without him. Normal? Not anxiety inducing? Nothing to fear or worry about..

You should know better though, exiting your class blindsided by Haechan leaping in front of you, hooking his arm around yours. “You. In here. NOW.”

“Haechan?! What the hell!” You cough, waving at dust that lifts from the janitor closet floor. Cleaning supplies and clutter surround you, setting in how claustrophobic you feel when he slams the door shut and locks it.

“We need to talk. Right now.”

“About what?!” Pushing him off, you stumble back and glare. Watching his face fall at the sight of your anger.

“About this.” He says, reaching for the charm adorning your neck, flicking the teddy bear. “What’s this bullshit all about? What are you dating Jeno now?? What the fuck is wrong with the two of you.”

“The two of us?! There’s nothing wrong with me?! It’s your fault any of this is even happening to me!” You screech, slapping his hand away.

“My fault?! You low lives are threatening to ruin my future and it’s somehow MY fault??” Haechan bellows, grabbing your upper arms.

“Low lives?”

He scoffs, shaking you with his firm hold. “Don’t change the subject! What the fuck if your problem, huh? Are you making him do this? You two need money that badly?”

Haechan could have just asked about your relationship with Jeno if he really cared. He would have noticed how different you’ve been looking and acting if he really ever cared about you.

“Everything’s about money to you..” you mutter, gaze hanging low.

“To me?! I’m the one being threatened here!” He says in disbelief, burning holes into your face with a crazed look. “I don’t need any money from you or him.”

No. You don’t need anything, do you? Everything’s about you. You you you you…

Jeno was right all along.

“You seriously think I want your fucking money Haechan?!?” You shout, breaking out of his hold to shove him back. “What about me, asshole?!? Do you even give a shit about me! No, you don’t! Because I embarrass you that much, huh?”

“What are you even going on about.” Rolling his eyes, he grabs your wrists before you can pummel him with your fists, teeth gritted. “Of course I give a shit about you, why do you think I’m here?! He’s always hovering around you! It’s impossible to get near you anymore.”

“You’re only here because you think I’m weak.”

“Weak?” Haechan repeats, tossing your arms down. “He’s really brainwashed you, yeah? Made you believe I’m the bad guy here? I’m not the one money hungry enough to destroy years of friendship over some petty jealousy!”

“He hasn’t brainwashed me.” You snap back, nearly adding a lie to make yourself feel better. He doesn’t talk about Haechan that much, and he’s not that jealous..

“Oh yeah? Than what the fuck is this?” His fingers aim for your choker again, sliding the tips under to press along your pulse. “Wearing a collar like a good little bitch?”

“It’s a gift.”

Haechan’s mouth parts in surprise, cocking an eyebrow. “You really like that psychopath, I can’t believe this.”

“Fuck you.” You bite back, wrapping around his wrists. “You have no right to assume anything about me.”

“And me? What about me, huh?” He says soft and low, leaning in closer. “I thought you liked me.”

“You did?” You ask, a bit surprised. You hadn’t made it that obvious, right?

“So, you don’t?” Haechan’s gaze flickers to yours, peering between each of your eyes confused. “Ever since we were kids I thought..”

“Do you like me? Did you ever?”

“Always, I always have.” He says surely, tugging out of your grip. “Not that it matters.”

“W-Why?” You stutter, feeling heat rush to your face. “Because y-you won’t do anything about it? Because I’m nothing but a low life, right?!”

Haechan steps closer, locking you in place against him with his arms tightening around your waist. “You’re not, okay? I’m just mad about Jeno..”

You hate getting angry, because you hate to show how weak you really are, cursing at the first batch of tears that pour from your eyes. You punch at his chest, letting out a tired sob. Tired because of this, everything, tired of holding onto something you never had. “It’s all your fault. He wouldn’t even care about me if it wasn’t for you.”

“What’s my fault?! That your boyfriend’s a certified nut job??”

“This isn’t about him! He’s not my boyfriend!”

“Oh yeah?” Haechan squeezes you in, inching his face closer to yours. “So, you won’t care if I do this.”

The same lips you dreamt about for years come closer, a breath away from finding yours. He pauses to watch your reaction, eyelashes fluttering up and down expecting you to do something to get away. Because Jeno’s girlfriend wouldn’t let another guy kiss her, especially not his new enemy.

It’s nothing like your dreams when he finally goes for it, he’s not soft and nice, he doesn’t move against your mouth like he belongs there. The kiss is rough, fast, sloppy, needy and aggressive. He sees his chance and takes it, sliding his tongue in past your lips as you gasp, lowering his hands to your ass with a fierce squeeze. His dreams had been to strip your innocence, watch your fall apart and scream while he fucked you deep. Nothing like the fairytale stories you’d imagined. Each pass of his tongue against yours indicates his desire, forcing your arms out of his hold to reach for his hair, fisting it and pulling as hard as you can.

“Ahhh! Ahh! Stop!” He whines, lips already swollen.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” You sneer, coiling tendrils between your digits, pulling until his neck arches back and a high-pitched squeak breaks free from his mouth.

“I knew it.” He grits, eyes thinning into a glare. “You’re fucking him, aren’t you?”

“Is that what this is about?! You just need to have everything Jeno has?!”

“You are the one falling for that freak.” Haechan spits, slapping your ass. “Everyone knows Jeno fucks like a fucking crazed beast, you’re not as innocent as I thought.”

“I’m not fucking him.” Technicalities..

“Yeah? And why should I believe you?” He plays with the hem of your skirt, tickling at the skin there. “You say that you like me and yet here you are holding back. I think you’re a liar, trying to protect your crazy boyfriend..”

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

“Yeah?” Haechan steps back, leaning against a shelf full of cleaning products. Reaching below his waist to unbuckle his belt. A bulge sits beneath his zipper, slowly lowering it with his eyes on yours. “Get on your knees.”

“What!?”

He snickers, shoving his boxers and jeans down under his balls. “I said get on your knees.”

He has the audacity to wear a cocky grin, tilting his head back onto the shelf as he begins to gently stroke his cock to full mass. You have to look, have to lick your lips at the sight of his length beginning to chub up in his hold. It’s not enough to subside your anger, marching forward to slam his shoulders back against the shelf. “Who do you think you are?!”

“A guy you like.” He says, voice low, staring at your lips. “A guy who likes you.”

This certainly isn’t normal by any means, you know that, but that doesn’t stop the extra skip in your heartbeat. Doesn’t stop your eyes from trailing down Haechan’s face to where he sucks on his bottom lip, letting it go and bounce shiny with spit. “Now.” Reaching for your mouth, he slides a thumb across your lower lip, pushing down on the fatty center. “Get. On. Your. Knees.”

There’s a cruel edge to his tone, watching you crumble and slip down onto the floor, eye-level to his length. “Don’t act surprised. This is what you want.”

You don’t know what to say, watching your knees settle on the ground before looking up. He strokes at his size lazily, the tip right between your eyes. Nowhere near as big as Jeno, that’s for sure..

“You’ve always had such a pretty mouth, always used it to talk so much shit.” He smirks confidently, bringing the tip closer to your pouty lips. “What are you waiting for?”

Haechan even smells rich from down here, clean, trimmed pubes, a slight musk wafting off his sack. Jeno’s a little different, he’s always hairless, always smells clean in a soft and inviting way. You think he keeps himself extra tidy to entice you more, but maybe that’s just him. Maybe this is just Haechan..

“D-do you have protection?”

“Huh??” He says, surprised, shrugging and reaching for his wallet. “Yeah, whatever.”

He sounds a little ticked off, flicking the condom at your pressed together thighs. Not putting up an argument either way. It’s been awhile since you’ve had to use one of these, and as you unwrap the package you start to wonder why..

Clearing your throat, you nervously reach to grip around the middle of his length. It’s not as heavy in your hold, not as thick, a lot smoother with less prominent veins. The condom rolls down fine, aided by a layer of lube that will surely taste disgusting sliding down your tongue. He’s hissing above you, eyebrows scrunched together focused on your hands and robotic expression, wondering if you’re lying about everything..

“Come on.” Haechan says desperately, reaching to thumb your lip again, a lot messier and more eager. “You want my cock, don’t you?”

Leaning in, you test the feel of it, sliding the tip across your upper lip. Slowly craning your neck up to watch his face fall apart. “Say it. Wanna hear you say it.”

He grips your hair, fingers tingling through your scalp, forcing your neck back further. Plump lips hang open above you, breathily moaning, stuck on his cock dragging your lower lip open. “Say you want my cock like the pathetic fucking slut you are.”

That flicks your eyes open fully, rising from your knees quickly with a tight grasp around his size. “What did you just say to me?!”

Haechan’s jaw hangs limp in shock, letting out a shattered moan when you pull at his length roughly. “Turn the fuck around.”

He listens without even trying to resist, grabbing onto one of the shelfs with your fist still circled around him. “S-sorry.. I thought..”

“Shut the fuck up Haechan.” Grabbing his wrists, you loop them both back and trap them in place against his lower back. Reaching lower with your free hand to smooth over his ass.

“Now, repeat that? What did you just say to me?”

He shakes, turning his face to the side to watch you from the corner of his eye. “Nothing nothing! I take it back!”

“Are you sorry?” You whisper, nipping at his jaw. Fingers skimming between the crevice between his ass.

The vibrations soaring off his body intensify, trembling harder, breathing through his nose gruffly. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” He chants, breaking off into a whimper.

He doesn’t know what you wish he was sorry for. Delivering a slap to his ass and watching it bounce back against the collision, you hum lowly.

“Come here.” He’s easy to whip around, shivering from head to toe excitedly. Ankles weak to walk on as if he could cum already, making it easy to push him down onto the floor.

“Fuck, you’re crazy..” he whimpers, laying back and kicking his legs to get his pants off. He looks more pathetic than the first time you ever met him, sobbing under you, crying for you to let him go.

“It’s your fault.” You mutter, pushing your skirt and underwear off to mount his hips without restraint. “Wish I’d never met you.” You hiss, reaching for his chin to dig your fingers into his cheeks. He blinks up at your blearily, the bright light above you staining his face in a white translucent shade, eyes lost and glossy. He’s pretty, so so so pretty, makes your chest burn and ache. He’s always been pretty, eyelashes fanning across his cheeks slowly with each blink, plump lips shoved out for you to capture.

“You’re so sexy.” He mutters, struggling under your rough grip. “If I’d known—“

“If you had known what?” You sneer, slapping his cheek hard enough for his head to snap to the side, eyes bewildered and surprised.

“Fuck you’re..” he spits, bending forward at his neck to watch your core sit down on his length. “Ahh.. shit I’m still!—” He splutters, head dropping back, hips rutting up as you start to slide against his cock.

It’s easy to take control and feel powerful on top of him like this, shifting back to grab his knees and push them up. “Stay still.” You demand, using force to push the pits of his knees down and hold yourself up. Haechan whimpers from the change in position, feeling small and confined under your figure sitting above him.

“Fuck I’m—not gonna last long. You’re too much.” He’s such a whiny sniveling mess, drooling down his chin, cock twitching against your cunt.

“You like that?” Hoisting yourself up against his legs, you lift enough to line the tip of his cock up to your entrance, hips trembling as you begin to lower and breach your hole.

“Ahhh! Fuck!” Haechan screams pretty, high-pitched, unashamed. His head tosses back fully exposing his Adam’s apple, dainty collarbones. He’s nothing now, nothing but a groveling whore begging to be fucked.

“Say it.” You say full of threat, struggling to keep yourself held up, clawing your nails into the sides of his knees. “Beg me to fuck you.”

The softest cracked moan spills from his red juicy mouth, face dropped to the side looking at you with half-lidded drunk eyes. “Please please, please fuck me.”

He’s nothing, and he could easily be yours.

It’s so easy to mount him, to bury the rest of his length inside of you. It’s less of a struggle to take him than you’re used to, filling you to the brim with a wet splash against his pelvis where you land. He whines and moans through it, making you work to ride his cock faster.

Haechan looks brainless, gorgeous, stupid as fuck with his tongue hung out lavving at the drool pouring from the corners of his lips. Sweaty hands push yours off his knees, holding himself open wider to free your hands. The burn running up your thighs calms as you grab onto his chest and ball his shirt between your fists, short of breath the faster you work to fall into a rhythm.

“Faster, come on, fuck me faster!” He grunts under you, voice loud and ragged over the thunderous clap of your ass crashing down on him.

“Shut the fuck up whore.” You bite, reaching to wrap around his neck for better leverage. Pretty brown eyes go wide, gasping for breath as you tighten around his throat until his head shakes and he sounds empty of air. His cock thrums wildly, urging you to slam down harder, rock your hips faster. The veins along his forehead expand the more he struggles to breathe, mouth hung wide open like nothing but a dumb slut. “Only sluts get off f-from being choked.”

He nods weakly, coughing and groaning, sweaty fingers slipping on and off his legs. “Yes yes, ahhh g-gonna cum.”

“If you cum before me I’ll bite your dick off.” You spit out angrily, freeing his neck to clasp his chin and bury your fingers inside of his slutty mouth. “You useless slut.”

Haechan’s eyes roll back, tongue lapping between your digits, balls colliding with your ass with each heavy thrust. “Ah—ahh!” He gurgles and spits, making a mess around your fingers. “Pl-please!”

The hold on his knees slips free, arms flopping down to his sides, legs landing on the ground hard with rapid tremors shooting through. “Shit!” You grunt, stilling as his length pulses and warmth fills the condom, sliding off before any of it can pour out inside of you. “What did I fucking say?!”

Anger and arousal combined feel similar to a slasher film. Murderous and frightening, craving death around the corner as the music changes to warn you as the next kill approaches. Haechan lays under you out of breath, face covered in sweat and saliva, cock pathetically twitching against his stomach. “Selfish.”

Snapping the condom band into place, you settle back down on his length, making him shout out and shake his head. “No no! That hurts!”

“I said shut the fuck up.” Bending in, you reach for his hair, fisting handfuls to pull on and control the speed of your hips. So useless, so stupid and useless, you deserve better than this. Better than someone who can’t even control his own needs to make sure you both finish and reach pleasure.

Tears brim his eyes as you rock down and roll your cunt against his half-hard soaked cock. The friction of creamy wet rubber rutting against his length more painful than enjoyable at this point, springing droplets down his cheeks.

“You’re so weak.” He nods, has the nerve to agree with you. Biting down on his plush bottom lip to compress a sob, glossy eyes blinking tears out faster.

The broken sight of him sends shivers up your spine, jabbing the tip of his cock against your clit in rapid motion until your hole convulses and draws out a much deserved orgasm.

“Holy shit..” he wheezes out breathlessly, the back of his head hitting the floor painfully as you abruptly release him and move to the side.

Satisfaction courses through your veins, along with something else weighing heavy on your mind..

That was.. interesting. Is that the word you’re looking for? Interesting.

Patting the floor for your skirt, you immediately grab your phone. Jeno hasn’t texted yet. Even more interesting, something really must be wrong with his dad.. you should send him a message first. He might need you right now. Why the hell do you care about what he needs..

“Hey, let’s keep this between us.” Haechan disrupts your inner monologue, patting your shoulder. “Don’t need Jeno seriously spreading those photos around and whatever else he’s blackmailing me with.”

“Does your dad know about your drug use?” You ask, sliding your arm away from his touch.

He frowns, nose wrinkling annoyed. “Why the fuck would he know about that?!”

Because you’re a spoiled brat. Surprised that daddy even cares about his privileged son ruining his future, blowing his father’s hard earned money on more white shit to snort up his nose.

You shrug, buttoning up your shirt. “I guess you have a lot of secrets.”

Like me.

You are one of Haechan’s secrets if you think about it.. his secrets stemming from shame it seems. Because he’s ashamed of you, of the part of his life you remind him of.

“Whatever.” He scoffs, standing uncomfortably, nervously scratching his head.

“Don’t worry.” You reassure, picking up your belongings and grabbing the door handle. “There’s nothing your secrets can provide for me. See you later?”

His frown deepens, chewing on his bottom lip and shrugging. “Whatever.”

“Goodbye Haechan.”

You leave first, emotions unsettled and scattered as you walk down the hall to your locker. It’s nearing the end of the day, thankful that Haechan only made you miss gym class. Jeno always takes longer to fuck you, he likes to make sure you always get off, sometimes he doesn’t even finish..

Jeno. Shit.

‘Waiting for you by the north gate entrance.’

Shit shit shit. What the fuck. Jeno said he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to pick you up today, or that he’d try to, whatever. Not even a heads up?! Nothing to warn you??

Fuck, what if you smell like Haechan?! Knowing Jeno he’d be able to tell. There’s no way you can come up with something quick enough to get him off your ass, another text alerts you demanding for you to hurry up.

‘If you’re not out here in the next 50 seconds I’m coming inside.’

Fuck. You really fucked up this time, fear picks up your pace to jog through the hallway corridor faster, dodging your classmates bodies left and right until you near the exit short of breath and look out to see your… Jeno, stepping out from the driver’s seat.

“There you are.” He smiles, a big smile, the type that reaches his eyes. The one that’s for show, for others to coo and aww at. The one that garners close-to-ear whispers behind hands and eyes bouncing back and forth from you to Jeno.

‘Why her?’

Everyone asks, everyone wants to know. You never asked before, until one day the voices broke you down and found yourself constantly asking- ‘why me?’

You’d never ask Jeno, you never ask him anything.. but right now, as you nervously force your lips into a measly smile, the cramp forming in your stomach nearly makes you trip down the grass hill leading to where his cars parked awaiting you with the passenger door open.

“That’s funny.” Jeno says under his breath, leaning in to wrap around your waist. “You never smile at me.” He whispers near your ear, taking a step back to look over your face. “What’s up?”

The way his head tilts scrutinizing your face makes your chest cave, lips pressed together tightly as his eyelashes lower over his iris the more he lowers toward your neck; the collar of your shirt saves you of any fear that Haechan left behind any incriminating evidence of what took place less than an hour ago.

“Hmm..” Jeno reaches forward before you have a chance to react, tugging you closer by the fanned edges of your collared shirt. “Now why is your top button undone..”

He can see the way your throat jumps, hollowing out between your collarbones with each dry nervous swallow. “And your necklace.”

Your choker, he means. Fuck your choker. The lucid memory of Haechan angrily pulling on the teddy charm adorning the strap squeezing your neck makes your teeth grit, hidden behind your quivering lips.

“Strange.” Jeno’s eyebrows gather together, the gleam in his eyes darkening despite afternoon sun illuminating down on him, highlighting every defined flawless attractive feature. “You’ve never disobeyed me this much before.”

“Wha—“

“You know you’re supposed to always have this uncovered. Why did I dip into my savings and risk getting chewed out by my dad? For you to try to make me a secret?” Jeno finishes buttoning your shirt back up, digits reaching beneath the leather to adjust the charm’s position while adding more pressure, losing the tiny centimeter of space between your neck and the material. “Did something happen while I was gone?”

“No!” Your reactions too fast, fast enough to fully widen his eyes, mouth tensed as he meets your gaze. “I—I had to.. to participate..”

“In what?”

“Physical Ed.. you know I always sit out with you.” Jeno watched your choice of physical activity: yoga, for less than a week before deciding this form of education benefited you in no way. Something about those ridiculous yoga pants you wear for class only seemed to distract a group of guys in the weight lifting class across the gym. He concocted doctor's slips for the both of you to sit out and study instead. “Coach didn’t let me today.. she said there's no way my period cramps last all month. I must have forgotten to fix my necklace after getting dressed, I’m sorry..”

Jeno nods, smoothing his thumb over your warm cheek, hot from anxiety rising the longer you stand there and risk the chance of running into Haechan on his way home. “That bitch. I’ll deal with her tomorrow.”

He pauses again, a contemplative look taking over as he reaches for your hair and smooths down fly aways. “No wonder you look sweaty. Must have been working hard, using all of your body and stamina.” Jeno’s tone lowers to a whisper, gently pressing under your lash line. “Even smeared your mascara..”

“I really should take a shower.” You say, managing to speak quickly without stutter. “Didn’t have a chance to after gym class and the air conditioning must have been broken or something in the homeroom.”

“That’s fine.” Leaning in, his nose presses to your jugular taking a deep inhale. “I like it, smell like you just got fucked.” Reaching for your lower back, Jeno moves you forward toward the passenger seat, the facade of a nice boyfriend(or whatever he is) vanishes with the turn of his head.

You learned quickly to let him do what he wants after receiving nothing but hard stares to shut you down. Jeno wants things done his way, even buckling your seatbelt is his responsibility.

The engine vibrates as you wait for him to settle into his seat and back out of the parking lot, just barely missing Haechan’s exit by a few seconds.

It’s silent on the way to his home, tense and thick. Maybe it’s guilt, your guilt, guilt you can’t understand carrying to begin with. Why should you feel guilty? Does Jeno deserve that? Is it really because Haechan didn’t feel like Jeno? Because he didn’t make you relinquish control, didn’t make you feel special? Is that what Jeno does? He makes you feel like nothing else matters more than you?

Biting your nails raw, down to the rough neglected skin beneath until the tips of your fingers ache, you’re unsure if it's the silence that bothers you more or your spiraling thoughts screaming louder and louder. “Was everything okay? With your dad?”

Jeno comes to a stop at a red light, tapping the steering wheel, lips parting open into a half smile. “I didn’t think you’d ask me.”

He doesn’t turn to look at you, only glances from the corner of his eye, sleek and cold. “You never ask me anything.”

A dry breathy laugh passes through his nose, stepping on the gas again as you near the neighborhood you’ve become more familiar with than your own by now. “Did you miss me that much today, teddy?” He’s grinning, stoically, and if you blink too long you’d miss the way his head shakes in disbelief.

Shutting off his car, he turns and reaches for your chin to lift your face up. It’s your best effort to appear as nothing, not display an ounce of guilt or shame, but not smile or stare back too long— because that would be out of character. “Is there something you need to tell me?”

The gleam passing his gaze is damn near unnerving, adjusting your face side to side as if he’s inspecting for damage. “Did something happen while I was gone?”

The most you give him is a barely noticeable shake of your head, gaze lowered to your lap, nothing too out of the ordinary..

Jeno leans over the space between you, turning your gaze back to him, digits spread out along your jaw for more control. “I think..”

He presses closer, forehead connecting to yours leaving just an inch of space between your nose and lips. Lips that left behind their moisture and shine on another man, a mouth that you fear may still carry remnants of his taste. “My teddy..”

Jeno’s lips graze yours enough to hitch your breath, shutting the seam of your mouth shut. That doesn’t stop him from cupping your face, overtaking power and pushing your lips forward with the pressure of his palms squeezing you in. “You are starting to like me more than you realize.”

He kisses the swell of your pout, biting his lower lip for a second to admire how swollen and worn your mouth looks; as if someone has sucked on the fleshy fat roughly. Someone reckless who could give a shit about you. “Or at least more than you’re ready to admit.”

Jeno lets go, leaving you gasping for breath as he sits back and studies your reaction. “Kiss me.”

It’s not a question, it’s not even a demand, he’s too relaxed. It’s expectant, because you’ll listen to him, if you know what’s good for you; and you do.

There’s no way to crawl between the front seats without it being awkward, having to reach for Jeno’s thigh to keep yourself sturdy. He huffs to mask a laugh, turning away when you direct your pout toward his lips. “Kiss me the way you really want to.”

He knows you don’t want to, but he doesn’t know why; and maybe that’s where your guilt stems from because you can still taste Haechan between your teeth; and the pink flush spread across his mouth stirs a need up from your stomach to your chest.

“Go on.” Jeno’s head rests against his seat, eyebrows raised waiting. You manage to slip onto his lap after banging your knee into the cup holder, gripping onto his shoulders to align your weight onto his crotch. The same way he likes to hold you in the evening while playing games with your head laid on his chest.

Jeno kisses you everyday, he kisses you. You could trace the shape of his lips with your eyes shut at this point, subconsciously you even notice whenever he reapplies chapstick from the light menthol scent and taste alone.

There’s something you’ve noticed over time as you lean in and breathe out nervously across his impatient mouth. Jeno never looks away first, he watches for your response to everything, silently analyzing the tiniest smallest movements. He has to, because you give him nothing, and he does it well. Even now with your eyes falling shut too nervous to look at him up close, he stays tuned in to your bottom lip trembling, the little twitch between your eyebrows and how much your hands shake while gliding up to his neck.

This shouldn’t feel like your first kiss with him, not after everything, but it does. You are the one in control for once and you’re the one applying pressure. Taking time to feel out just how soft his lips actually are when they aren’t roughly prying your mouth open to shove his tongue inside. The tightness beneath your palms even seems to relax the more you move between top and bottom lip, gently sucking and pulling them between yours.

Jeno doesn’t move, he even lets his hands rest by his thighs despite itching to gather your waist and grind you down against him. He wants to see how far you’ll go on your own, especially after today; because maybe you needed this time apart, albeit only a few hours, but maybe you needed to be alone to understand just how much you need him.

“I’m not a good kisser..” you finish with a light as a feather peck at the corner of his mouth, dropping your face embarrassed. “It’s better when you do it.”

Oh? He perks up at that, giving into his desire with hands encompassing your waist. “You are good, you just..”

He rubs up and down your sides, letting out a long sigh while looking you over. “You don’t like me, right?” Jeno bites down a smile, nodding to himself. He knows you’d pour your soul into a kiss with Haechan, you probably dream of some ridiculously romantic rekindling of your relationship with some ridiculous scenario: fixing all the damage with one kiss..

“That’s not it—“

“You don’t.” He nods again, an accepting nod.

And it’s okay, because you still have hope, somehow you still have so much hope that Haechan will save you from this. That your stupid childhood first love still carries you deep within his heart the way you always have, because you have so much good left inside of you in spite of every obstacle put in your way. Jeno likes that, that’s why he befriended Haechan in the first place, because good people are rare to come by.

But Haechan is not a good person anymore, and soon enough your spark will die out too.

“It’s not that Jeno..”

“Let’s get inside, I ordered takeout, should be here soon.” He says with an ordering pat pat pat against your hip, unlocking his door for you to exit first. “You hardly touched your lunch today.”

“Is it okay if I take a shower first?” Having to ask makes your stomach churn, mumbling behind the tips of your fingers finding their way back between your teeth to bite down on your nails.

“Stop doing that.” Jeno gently pries your wrists away, opening the door to his bedroom. “You never shower until after we fuck.”

“Like I said.. the air conditioning..”

Jeno eyes you skeptically, huffing and grinning. “You think I’ll care if you smell a little?” He’s back on you, encasing your waist as he bends in to drag his nose along your throat. “I think you smell sweet.”

“It’s not that.. I just feel gross.”

And you do, you feel extremely gross. More disgusted with yourself than you’ve ever felt after allowing Jeno to defile you. The more you try to push away what you’ve just done, the more unsettled you feel by all of it.

“You wanna change?” He places a light kiss upon your cheekbone, moving away to sit at his computer chair. “Grab whatever you want to wear. Don’t take too long though or your food will get cold.”

Part of you wants to stand there and argue, claim that you aren’t hungry despite the rumble your stomach gives at the mention of warm food; but a hot shower to wash away the remnants of Haechan’s spit and other fluids depletes any will to bother Jeno any longer.

“Are you sure?” You ask, skimming over the drawers lined up against the other side of his bedroom.

Jeno hums, already logging on to play league and waving you off. “Yeah, wear whatever.”

Showering in his bathroom had become very standard, like he said you typically prefer to after the act, but today’s different of course. His bathroom is much nicer than the community one shared by multiple people at your shitty studio complex. The studio you rarely spend much time living in anymore ever since Jeno forced his way into your life.

There is something inside of you that sighs out of relief under the shower stream, stretching your arms out and up high freely, enjoying the quality of bath soaps and shower gels he keeps stocked. Jeno always smells nice, fresh and clean, not smokey and suffocating the way Haechan did..

The memory of his luxurious musky scent has your palms traveling lower, reaching for the shower head to thoroughly clean away any possible trace of him left behind between your legs.

Jeno would go ballistic if he knew.. you aren’t even sure how he’d react, and you don’t want to find out.

“Food’s here?” You ask quietly, still drying your hair by the bathroom door connected to Jeno’s bedroom. He takes a minute to answer, engulfed in the game playing across his computer screen.

“Just got here.” Jeno says, hitting pause to look at you. His lips loosen, jaw opening as he gazes from your feet taking short steps forward to your bare legs and his pink hoodie hanging past your hips. “Wow.”

“What?” You pause, looking yourself over nervously. He said to pick whatever you want to wear, you even double checked with him. He can’t be mad right? Maybe this is his favorite hoodie and now—

Jeno’s eyes soften, scanning up and down your figure as he reaches out and rolls his seat forward to grab your hips. “You look really cute.”

“Oh..” heat drives up your neck, lowering your eyes to look away from the pleased smile that tugs at his lips.

“I should make you wear my clothes more often.” Jeno squeezes up your sides, drawing the fabric to follow his touch and lift over your hips. “Come here.”

Leaning back, he motions for you to climb onto his lap, a bag of steaming hot food sits at the corner of his desk waiting. “But the food..”

He lifts one groomed eyebrow, responding with a silent command to do as he says before he makes you regret it.

“We’ll eat first.” Jeno wraps an arm around your stomach, tugging your back to press against his chest as he reaches for the bag. “Put on whatever you want to watch.”

It’s times like this in his bedroom, as you ease into his hold and pout when he swirls noodles around a fork to feed you with that you can’t help but to feel something.

Something you can’t bring yourself to accept, because that would make him right about everything..

That’s what makes it harder to eat, harder to sit still and let yourself grow too comfortable, harder to laugh when something funny happens on the TV show you chose.

Jeno can’t win, even if he continues to prod your mouth with another spoonful of rice, and softly smiles before licking away a piece from the corner of your mouth. “You’re so cute.” He mumbles, pushing the boxes of food aside. “Turn around.”

“Do we have to?”

Large palms run up your thighs, squeezing as they find a way between your legs to the fleshy meat lined along the outsides of your groin. “You’re cute, but don’t test me.”

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･･ ⋆ ･

Jeno’s been extra clingy ever since that day he had to leave earlier. You can’t say you hate it.. and maybe it gives you an excuse for why Haechan’s been completely avoidant, not looking at you once. You wanted to wave at him, say hi as you passed each other, but with thick biceps belted around you at all times you knew better.

He could just be ignoring you because of Jeno.

He could just be ignoring you because he doesn’t give a shit.

“Really do hate that I have to spend the next hour and a half without you.” Jeno sighs sadly, kissing your cheek. “Fucking hate Philosophy too.”

“It’s just one class.”

“One class that’s stealing precious time I could be spending with my girlfriend.”

There he goes again, that bullshit title he keeps using. It’s almost worse than his constant love bombs. “Second bells about to ring.” You mumble, shoving his arms off.

“Yeah yeah, I know you can’t wait to get away from me.” He pouts, leaning against the door frame, glancing behind you at the area he knows you often set up at. Eyes squinting as he observes one of your classmates. “I’ll be here when you’re done. Be good.”

Or else.

The silent haunting echo follows you to your seat, apprehensively setting your bag down with a subtle peak toward the door to make sure he’s gone.

“How’s the research going?”

A deep voice startles you, jumping up and dropping your belongings. “Crap.”

“Ah, that’s my bad.” He crouches down before you’re even squatted halfway, long hands reaching to gather your brushes and pencils. “Was just asking how the papers going. I really think we should get together to make sure we’re both on the same page. I don’t want you to hate me if we get a bad grade..”

“Get together?!” You splurt out abruptly, coughing on choked spit. “Outside of class??”

The thing is, Jeno didn’t really know about Jisung Park. Why would he? He’s not in this class.

He didn’t know that part of the reason you loved this class so much wasn’t because he’s not in it. No(although that helps). It’s because from the first day you noticed Jisung sitting quietly free-hand drawing beautifully, you wanted to compliment his sketches, get to know him better; ask if he’s always had an interest in art..

But you didn’t, instead you shyly hid your face and looked away whenever he’d glance around. Sure, maybe you happened to notice how attractive he is too, but that didn’t matter to you. It’s not like you had a crush on him or anything..

And it’s not like your stomach exploded with butterflies as everyone paired off for your final project for the semester, leaving you nervously taking steps back and forth looking for anyone available.

Jisung approached you first, asking quietly and shyly. ‘Do you have a partner yet?’

That’s how you ended up here, your norm for the last week being to sit by him during class so you could exchange ideas and work on your final project together.

And that crush you didn’t have ended up becoming very very real. Jisung.. he’s nice, really nice. Genuine and thoughtful, he always asks how your days been, if you have any plans later on, tries to get to know you with curious and non-invasive questions.

It’s easy to bond over your love and appreciation for art, and he thought it was cool that you once dreamed of illustrating mangas(until capitalism and reality set in). He sparked light around the dark corners you hide in. Your secret, something only for you, something Jeno couldn’t ruin or touch..

“Yeah. You can come over to my place tonight? My parents both work late hours so we shouldn’t have any interruptions.”

An invite to his place, where you’d be alone. Only the two of you, no Jeno..

“Your place? Tonight?”

“Yeah? If that’s okay with you?” Jisung smiles apprehensively, reaching to scratch at his sideburn. “I’d like to keep my perfect GPA intact.. it’s okay if you can’t, I don’t mind completing the bulk of it myself.”

“No no, that’s not fair.” You wave him off, biting at your nail. “I’ll uhm, yeah—no, yeah, I’m free later. Write down your address.” Sliding him your notebook, you reach for your phone to text Jeno under your desk. This is for school, for your perfect GPA.. he needs to be understanding.

Jisung perks up and scribbles down where you can meet him after school, clapping his hands together. “I’ll set some snacks out for us, I’m sure we’ll be working hours into the evening.”

Hours into the evening.. Jeno won’t like that.

Jeno doesn’t like that. Immediately shooting down your messages with a flat out ‘no’.

It came down to begging, explaining to him on the way to your next class how important this extracurricular course is for your future internship applications, even your counselor said that. It’s not a good look if you only excel in your non-creative courses, unless you plan to apply for a job that requires zero social interaction and teamwork.

‘Good luck with that.’ Your counselor mumbled, signing you up for this art class in the first place.

“The whole purpose of being here is for you to finish partnered work here.” Jeno snaps, shaking his head. “Who’s your partner anyway?! Why haven’t you mentioned this until now??”

“We only barely received the project yesterday!” You lie, looking at anything else but him. “My partner.. Hani!” Thinking fast you blurt out the first classmate you can think of, praying to yourself that Jeno doesn’t know her.

“Hani?” He repeats, seeming pleased to hear a girl's name. “And what time are you supposed to meet?”

It took further convincing, a little bit of bribery, maybe you skipped Yoga to suck him off in the bathroom. But it worked, Jeno seemed at ease after hearing that your classmate Hani was counting on this project to keep her grades up. Your scholarship requirements too, sure.

“Call me when you’re done.” He says, parking on another street nearby you’d given him directions to, just in case..

“Of course.. it might be late.”

Jeno grumbles, leaning over to kiss you until your lips feel bruised and tender. He kisses like it could be the last time he’ll ever see you, but that never makes you react. He always kisses like that..

“Love you.”

You nod, stepping out and waving him off, letting him know that Hani takes the bus home and you’ll have to wait a few minutes longer. He seems hesitant to drive off at first, only finally taking off out of the street when his dad calls him about something.

Phew.

Panic and fear get shoved down as you make your way to Jisung’s actual address. You shouldn’t be this nervous, it’s just a project..

With your crush, alone, together, only the two of you. That’s why you stand at the front door to his house for a while, shifting from foot to foot, playing with the strings of your backpack.

Jeno would be really mad if he found out about this. What would be worse? Lying? Or Jisung? There’s no way he would have allowed for you to come here alone, without him. Lying was your only option..

Taking a deep breath, you reach for the doorbell, gasping as it flies open immediately.

“You made it!” He smiles, toeing off his shoes, still wearing the same outfit from earlier. “I just got in myself, had to jump the backyard fence because I must have dropped my key, sorry. Were you waiting long?”

“Oh no.. it’s fine.” You mumble, passing through and removing your shoes quietly. He seems even taller now, walking next to him in nothing but socks.

“You must be hungry, let’s raid the pantry real fast before heading to my room.”

His room, you’ll be alone in his room..

Jisung’s a couple of years younger than you, and it’s evident when you step inside of his bedroom and take in the different toys he has scattered about; moving around to throw his jacket over a pile of stuffed animals displayed in one corner.

“Shall we?” He says, motioning to sit at his desk, dropping the bags of chips and cookies he found. “I’ve already wrapped up the bulk of writing, and cited everything, we just have to go over key points for our presentation.”

“Oh, that’s great. Thank you for doing all of that.” You smile, sensing heat rise up to your cheeks. His parents must not use the air conditioning much..

He snorts breathily, shrugging. “You seem really busy, with your boyfriend and all..”

“He’s not my boyf—he’s,” trailing off, you shake your head and grab your notes. “Let’s focus on this so we can try to finish early.”

“You’re always with him..” Jisung sits up awkwardly, playing with his knuckles. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed anything. You’re right, let’s uhm, get to work.

To your surprise Jeno doesn’t blow up your phone with texts, and you think about his dad again. He never did tell you what happened that day.. he should share personal things with you if he expects you to start trusting him. To build some solid type of relationship with him. The skin around your nails practically screams and begs to be left alone as you bring your fingers up to your mouth and begin to bite at anything you can find. He should have texted you by now..

“Something wrong?” Jisung asks, ruffling his fluffy black hair. “You seem a little distracted.”

“Oh, it’s nothing.”

“We’ve been working for two hours,” he nods, setting down his pen and organizing what you’ve finished so far. “Let’s take a break, I can really use one too.”

A break? Your eyes widen, following his figure as he stands and stretches his arms up, tight shirt lifting up his stomach halfway giving your curious gaze a real show. “Come on, our brains are probably in overdrive after a day of classes and now this, you should lay down for a bit.”

Lay down?!

Motioning to his bed, he smiles and directs you to follow with his chin. “Come on, I won’t bite.” He says sitting down, patting the empty space next to him.

Oh, but you might.

Stealing one more glance at your phone, you set it screen down on his desk, getting up and pretending to yawn. “You’re right.. sometimes I don’t know when to stop.”

Jisung laughs lightly, falling back and letting out a long sigh. “Me too, my grades mean a lot to me. I’m trying to get an internship this summer at Lee Corp.”

“No way!” You say excitedly, staying sat up on his bed and leaning on your palm to look at him. “I am too! Which program are you going for?”

“Engineer of course, they pay the best out of everyone in the country. Did you read that Forbes article? Haechan’s father must be a genius.”

You hum, brushing off the comment about Haechan, he’s the last person you want to talk about right now. “I was thinking about Global Affairs.. I really think a lot of their apps could expand and excel in foreign countries.”

Jisung laughs, smiling up his eyes, clasping his hands together on his stomach. “Look at us trying to relax.. we still end up talking about work.”

“I guess you’re right.. I’m not the best at, uh, relaxing?”

Jisung sits up on his elbows, eyebrows lifted as he looks at you. “I could.. make some suggestions.”

“Uhhh..”

He lets out an awkward laugh, turning onto his side and scratching his neck. “Sorry, that was lame. It’s just uhm, since you said you don’t have a boyfriend, I’ve been thinking..”

Shit.

He sucks in his thick pink bottom lip, biting down nervously. “I’ve always thought you were real cute, but you’re always with that guy so I kept my distance.”

“You, y-you did?” You stammer, clearing your throat and sitting up straight. “Ah, that’s—that’s nice. I mean, thank you.”

Jisung sits up, long bangs falling into his eyes as he tilts and stares at you in a way you’ve never had anyone look at you. There’s softness in his gaze, exposing his teeth as he leans closer to your face, huffing under his breath. “I’m not good at this, but I’d really like to kiss you right now..”

Kiss?!?

“Is that okay?” There’s a tremble in his voice, dipping in closer until your noses are less than an inch apart.

No. It’s not okay. You shouldn’t even be here right now. But isn’t it okay? Aren’t you in this relationship with Jeno against your will? Hasn’t Haechan been ignoring you for days? This could be your only chance at something normal.. someone who actually likes you for you.

Jisung’s heart looks damn near ready to break judging by the way his pout begins to droop, it’s instinct to rectify what you’ve caused that has you pressing forward; the first to brush your lips together. He lets a staggered breath free, moving to cup around your throat to deepen the kiss. It’s soft, nice, slow enough that you can process and absorb every small caress of your lips against his.

“I really..” he sighs out a laugh, tapping the end of his nose to yours. “Could help you relax..”

You deserve this, right? Why even question it? You like him, he likes you, and a part of you fully expected(or wanted) this to happen.

“Okay..”

Maybe the soft innocence radiating off of him is moreso the difference in your age. But there’s something about the way Jisung gently lays you down and places a pillow beneath your head. He kisses you again, and again, and again, slowly working your mouth open to allow his tongue to roam freely and explore.

It’s nice and calm without overstimulating your arousal, not until his fingers trace along your throat, pulling back with a smile that asks for permission.

Assuming he expects more you squirm anxiously, helping him slide his hand lower down your stomach to the button of your jeans. “Can I?” He asks, again, always checking in to confirm you’re okay with his next move.

You help him by shimmying out of your jeans, allowing for his hand to dip inside of your underwear as you continue to kiss and arch up at the first graze of long thick fingers swiping between your folds. His hands are warm, movements fluid and practiced, collecting the wad of wetness at your entrance to rub over your clit and begin stimulating your nerves. You can’t help to think- this is how it’s supposed to be, getting to know your body first with soft strokes, feeling the different parts of you to learn what gets you off.

“Wanna eat you out.” Jisung whispers against your mouth, trailing two digits lower to press against your hole. “Wanna taste.”

You nod eagerly, much too eagerly, kicking your jeans off to the floor, lifting your hips to invite him inside. He rubs circles around your entrance teasingly, tapping a few times before pulling out to sit up on his knees and tug off his shirt.

Jisung may be younger, but his body’s built nothing short of a man. Muscles line his stomach, arms firm and flexed as he pushes off his pants and climbs back onto the bed in nothing but a snuggly fit pair of boxer briefs. He pushes your top up under your breasts, hands large enough to hide the base of your stomach when they lay flat on top of you and begin to slide down to your underwear. “Like your panties..” he whispers, leaning down to trace the rose on your mound, making your hips twitch.

He likes them enough to not even take them off, laying down on his stomach to drag his nose down the damp seat of your panties. God Jeno would never— stop thinking about him. Stop saying what he’d do, he doesn’t exist. Jisung’s the one between your thighs, collecting your underwear to one side and taking a deep breath. “You’re just as pretty down here..”

His deep voice makes your toes curl against the bed, bending your knees up to grant him more access. “Can I touch?”

Nodding eagerly, you lift your hips again for him to push your folds apart, groaning as his thumb presses to your clit. “Like it when I do that?”

“Yes.. use your mouth..”

Jisung groans, half whimpering, tucking his face lower between your thighs. Thick lips suction around your clit, sucking the nub between and flicking his tongue out. His slow polite manners dissipate the more he ruts against his bed and sucks around your bundle of nerves. “Taste as good as you look.” He murmurs, long tongue dragging down to your tight hole to lap inside.

“You’re getting real wet.” He breathes out, cursing. Ducking back down to lick a fat stripe from your contracting wet hole to your clit. His tongue laves between your folds, spilling saliva and wetness across each, dipping his tongue in and out. He suckles on your clit, big hands splayed on your inner thighs pushing them further open to jam his tongue deeper inside.

You need more, fingers twitch midair before reaching into his hair and scratching at his scalp. “More!”

Jisung growls, shoving his face in until his nose digs against your bundle of nerves, panting against your opening with his tongue flicking against your inner walls.

He pulls back to glide two fingers inside, taking the chance to tug firmly on his scalp and shake your head. “Do y-you have a condom?”

Surprise paints his delicate face, appearing obscene with your arousal hanging from his chin. He nods quickly and jumps from the bed to slam open his bedside drawer and pull out a wad of protection. “I have a ton!” He scurries back onto the bed and grabs onto your knees, wide-eyed and dazed. “I mean.. do you want to?”

“Mhm..” you nod, sitting up to kiss up his neck, ripping the packet open and shoving your hand inside of his briefs.

You wish he would shut up just a little, favoring the breathy whines and whimpered moans he lets out when you finally wrap around his length and slide down the condom.

Jisung kisses you again, sucking on your bottom lip until it swells, licking across the fronts of your teeth. He lowers you back down comfortably and shoves his boxers down, length jumping up and slapping against his stomach.

“Y-you’re not like..” Jisung stutters, laughing to himself as he positions to line his cock up to your cunt. “Like a virgin?”

This is why you wish he’d shut up, gritting your teeth before forcing a smile. “Of course not.”

“Ah, figured.. wanted to be sure.” He takes a deep breath and cups your hips, inching forward slowly. “If it hurts—“

“I’ll let you know.”

It stings a little once he’s sheathed in half deep, he’s big, most of all thick. But the pain feels familiar, something you crave now..

“Come on.” You encourage, lifting your hips to fuck the rest of his length inside. “Fuck me, come on.”

Jisung gasps, long and choked, falling forward and catching himself by grabbing onto your shoulders. He watches your hips cant up for a minute, literally riding his cock, pussy slapping against his pelvis.

“Fuck, oh my God..” he croons, sounding out of breath already.

“Fuck me!” You beg, clinging onto his waist to scratch your nails down his flat tight stomach. “Please please, fuck me.”

Jisung snaps, nodding furiously as he crawls forward on his knees and hooks your thighs over his hips, throwing his hips into action to ram inside of you faster.

“Yeah yeah, just like that!” You whine, fucking him back to make him match your speed.

His hands reach for your waist, slamming in harder until you’re gurgling and writhing in his hold. Cock sliding in and out so wet and deep, the pain completely gone, only receiving pleasure with each meet of your hips.

It’s still missing something, something that has you reaching between your bodies to pinch your clit between two fingers. Nodding and panting for him to keep going. “S-so close.”

His palms land flat around the sides of your head, gripping the bedding in tight fists, using the leverage to drop his hips down faster. Fuck his cock in deeper and harder.

The sight of him above you, pale, muscular, black hair in his face, it’s enough to drift your mind away somewhere else. Shutting your eyes as heat burns up from your gut to your chest. Clit gone numb from your ferocious rubs, you twitch and cry out. The squeeze slowing him down as you clamp around him and begin to cum.

“Yesyesyes!” Through your blurry vision you can see him crumbling on top of you. Forcing his cock in past your tight heat, if not for how pitchy his moans sing out you’d swear..

“Ah, I’m c-cumming! I’m cu-cumming!” Jisung’s face tightens up, kissing the backs of his teeth. Hips locked in place, cock twitching as he fills up the condom with warmth. He pants and hangs his head between his shoulders, hips circling on more time before pulling out slowly. An audible pop resounds once he’s emptied you, flopping onto the bed by your side, stripping the condom off to give his dick a break for a moment, he throws it aside and lays back catching his breath. “No better way to relax than that..”

You wish you could say the same, already seeking your nails to chew on. That couldn’t have been too long, right? You need to check your phone, Jeno could have surely hunted you down by now if you’d even taken longer than a minute to respond. Maybe he’s really trying to respect your boundaries for once. Either way, you need to get out of here.

Tip toeing on to his bedroom floor, you step back into your clothes, quietly gathering your things to not wake him. Waking him could lead to conversation and more time you’d have to spend here..

There’s something you can only describe as guilt infiltrating your mostly pleased thoughts. Sneaking out of Jisung’s house was easy, scribbling off a note quickly that you’d see him at school later.

Jeno could be waiting outside where he dropped you off, you told him not to.. but he worries about you a lot. He’s always worried about you, it’s nice actually. It’s nice how much he cares about you, hell.. he checks in on you more than even your own parents.

God. What the hell are you thinking? Who cares if he worries about you. He’s a fucking psycho is what he is. Why are you even thinking about him right now? After everything that’s happened.

Jisung’s really nice, he’s really smart, seems to have a good head on his shoulders. Yet Jeno.. Jeno feels like an infection you can’t find the cure for at this point. He’s everywhere, every time you shut your eyes, whenever you wake up, he’s the first person you think about, the first person you want to see.

This is ridiculous, you’re just tired, that’s it. Too tired to wait for Jeno to come get you. It’ll be best to take the bus back to your studio today, he’d probably make you go home with him and keep you up way too late. His bed may be nicer than yours, sure. His bathroom an actual personal bathroom, and as your ‘boyfriend’ he always makes sure you’re well fed. The grumble your stomach lets out doesn’t go unnoticed, ignoring it as you pick up your phone to shoot off a text message.

‘Really tired. Heading home. See you in the morning.’

Reading over your text before sending it, you chew at dry skin around your nails, dropping your hand quickly as if Jeno’s slapped it down again. He always does, reprimands you whenever you bite your nails or rip the dead skin off with your teeth. He does it because he cares about you, right?

Fuck him. Seriously fuck that asshole.

Pressing your thumb down earnestly, you send the text and shut your phone off, bringing your thumb up to your lip to rip off an annoying piece of skin.

“Shit.” You hiss, shaking off your hand. More came off, opening a wound and stinging around the cuticle. Shining with red blood that rushed to fill up the divots around your nail bed.

Jeno would probably glare at you, raise your thumb to his mouth to suck on. He’d make it hurt less..

Brushing those thoughts aside, you pocket your fingers and tighten your jacket, making your way toward the nearest bus stop. He won’t like that you turned off your phone, he won’t like that you took public transport home instead of waiting for him, he doesn’t like anything really.

Except you..

It’s been a long while since you’ve taken the bus home, and it’s late, mostly empty. It’s hard to not notice a couple curled up in one of the two seaters, laughing at something on a phone together. Sometimes you watch things with Jeno, and you try to keep your amusement at bay, you try to emit nothing other than misery, but it’s become something you secretly look forward to these days..

Why do you keep thinking about him? What if Jisung’s texting you? Glancing at your blacked out phone screen, you wonder if he is, he could be.. Jisung seems to like you. He seems normal..

Normal could be nice.

Normal.

Why can’t you and Jeno be normal? What if you are?

Coming home alone without him by your side seems odd now. This isn’t normal anymore, this isn’t your normal anymore.

Jeno is your normal.

As you crawl into bed and take a deep sigh, you can’t help but to wrap yourself up tighter, curl up into a more fettle helpless position, and you can’t stop the tears that erupt from your eyes until they blur your vision and make your head pound.

He should be here, he should be here to keep you safe and warm, but he’s not, and nothing feels normal anymore. ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･･ ⋆ ･

One thing about Jeno you’ve noticed is that he is always on time. He’s extremely punctual, and if he’s not, he always, without fail, will make sure to alert you with a call or text.

Today’s different.

Because even when you turned your phone on this morning and rubbed sleepy dry tears from your swollen eyes, no notifications from Jeno appeared.

Jisung had sent a few messages, thanking you for a great time and hoping you made it home safe. The last text you sent Jeno hadn’t even been opened, and his read receipts have always been turned on for as long as you’ve known him..

He’ll show up outside of your complex at 8 o’clock on the dot as usual. Maybe he forgot to charge his phone(that’s unlike him).

But 8am comes around, and his car doesn’t round the corner, and minutes tick by, and he doesn’t show up. Each glance at your phone screen feels more like a plea for something, silently begging for a text or call to appear. Something to indicate he’s on his way, maybe traffic is heavier than usual today..

‘Hey. I’m waiting outside.’

You never add emojis. Keep messages as short and simple as you can. It would come across as too nice, too weird given the dynamic of your relationship, but that doesn’t stop your thumb from hovering over a smiley face before hitting send. Shaking it off, you watch the minutes go by, nursing the cut up cuticle you ripped off last night between your lips. If you don’t leave soon to catch the bus you’ll be late.

One more minute, you’ll wait one more minute before running to catch the next bus.

‘Is everything okay?’

What if he got into an accident? Did Jeno even make it home yesterday after dropping you off? What if he’s in a hospital bed somewhere, disfigured, all alone without anyone to keep him company? What are you even thinking right now?!

It doesn’t calm your nerves a bit that he hasn’t opened a single text message you’ve sent. Doesn’t help as you cram onto a crowded bus and worry your thumb down to raw skin, biting every little piece you can get your teeth on. Doesn’t help that you can’t stop glancing at your phone, envisioning each terrible outcome.

He’ll be at school, he’ll be waiting at your lockers and walk you to class, sit by your side as usual. Throw out an assload of compliments that piss you off, stare at you and play with your hair. It’s fine, everything is fine, he’s a good driver. How could he possibly get into an accident? Jeno? Never.

But he’s not waiting at your lockers, even as you stand around longer peering up and down the hallway for him to show up. You can’t ask anyone if they’ve seen him either, it’s not like you know anyone to ask.

He’s not in your first class, doesn’t show up for second period, or third, and your phone never once dings with a new notification.

Even as your names are called out to grab attendance and you silently pray he’ll appear at the classroom door out of breath, finding your surprised gaze on him. A huge smile will stretch his cheeks into a bundle of wrinkles, eyes disappearing when he meets yours.

But that doesn’t happen, and in a panic you send off a slew of text messages, biting your nails down to nothing but raw skin.

‘Is everything okay Jeno? Did your phone die?’

‘I’m at school. Should I meet you for lunch somewhere?’

‘Are you sick?’

There’s no way to explain the fear clawing at your chest, the rumble in your stomach, the ache that pangs through your heart. It’s not because you care about him, he doesn’t deserve that from you, not even out of human decency. But maybe, just maybe, you are worried, because Jeno’s face has become such a normal part of your daily life. His light touches, a gaze that never loses sight of you, a powerful aura that wraps you up behind an invisible shield that makes you feel safe. As insane as it feels to even contemplate, you can’t help it.

He’s a disease, streaming through your blood, destroying all of your white blood cells and leaving you with no option other than to rely on him to survive. Some may even consider that love, if you think about it.

He sought you out in the first place, didn’t he? Took notice of something special in you that clearly no one else does. Like right now as you walk to your locker, head hung low, no one cares. No one’s looking at you, no one notices you or sees you. They always see you when Jeno’s by your side. He’s the bright light that illuminates around you, and you? You’re nothing.

Jeno made you something though. He made you his.

How hasn’t he replied yet?!? What the hell is his problem! You’d scream if you could, that’s how desperate you feel, not even a god damn text? Nothing?!

You could always leave.. take the bus to his house. It’s possible he is severely injured after all, his parents might not even have a clue. It’s the least you can do, at least inform them that their son’s on his deathbed because of a horrific accident. Because that’s the only logical explanation you can fathom for why he hasn’t attempted to contact you even once since yesterday. It’s your fault too, if he really got into a bad car wreck after dropping you off. Yeah, you should definitely take the rest of the day off, it’s the right thing to do..

Adding speed to your steps, you rush toward your locker to grab your bag, prying it open quickly and nearly missing the folded note that slips out. A note.. with very familiar handwriting. A note in your locker after all this time, exactly like the ones you used to receive..

‘It’s been awhile hasn’t it angel? I haven’t felt the need to speak to you like this in such a long time now it seems. We have grown so close now, there are times I catch your gaze wandering away from me. I realize in those moments how much I’ve truly given up for you.

I lost my friends, carry guilt on my back of getting caught; that Haechan will find the courage to snitch me out.. The chance of my father disowning me for ruining his one chance to free himself from this impoverishment. In those moments I know you look away silently praying for someone to save you, when really, it’s been me all along.

I’ve only ever wanted to save you because you deserve better than this. I’m waiting for you, I know you’re smart enough to find your way.

-Your Teddy Bear’

This has to be a sick joke, you fully believe this has to be a sick joke; but your lip twitches, your tongue presses to the fronts of your teeth, and you can feel moisture itching at the backs of your eyes.

Jeno hadn’t picked you up today, he never sent a message to explain why. The last he’d spoken with you was on the car ride over to Jisung’s, and even then you never said much. He hadn’t said much either if you really think back, stay silent for most of the drive.

The last place you want to revisit is room 0423 after that day.

‘I’m waiting for you.’

Stoic and zombie-like your feet drag through the halls finding your way to the abandoned sector of the school. Because he’s waiting, and like a fool you’ve been waiting for him too.

You couldn’t process a thought, mindless as you found your way in front of the door that read 0423 before you. At this point there isn’t much else Jeno can pull to surprise you. Probably planning a setup of some sort to commemorate the day he met you, since it matters to him so much.

“Don’t act shy and stand out there forever, I’m waiting.” His voice echoes through the small opening, leaving the door cracked enough for you to know to come inside.

Everything appears to be the same as you remember, other than the giant teddy bear Jeno gifted you sitting at the teacher's table, his back facing you from where he sits on one of the student desks at the front row.

“Took you long enough to show up. I expected you’d be sick to your stomach without me, buried with your face in a porcelain bowl. Although, I must say, your messages have been quite entertaining.” Jeno begins to speak, his back muscles flexing as he laughs sarcastically. His neck bends forward, nodding to himself. “I won’t lie, I didn’t expect even that much from you. I dare say, you seemed frantic, worried even..”

“Why did you want me to come back here?” You ask softly, inching closer to where he sits. Jeno listens to the sound of your sneakers drag against the linoleum floor, he listens to your calm breath, he listens to your nails scratch by on each desk you pass, and he smiles stiffly.

“You really think I’m stupid, don’t you?” Jeno’s teeth grit, fisting a remote control in his grip. He stands up abruptly in a way that startles you. Instinctively lifting your fists to cover your face as you gasp. Rolling his eyes, he grips onto a curtain near the corner covering up an old school television, and he turns to face you.

If looks could kill, you know that you’d be laid out on the floor bleeding out right now. He bores into you with a laser sharp gaze, slicing through your chest with a level of intensity he’s kept calm for weeks.

“Answer me.”

Jeno’s throat shakes, his knuckles saturated in white, cuts of blood red and hues of pink from punching who knows what or who.. and for a quick second you think he may cry as he rapidly blinks away moisture that’s teetering at the brims of his eyes.

“No Jeno.. I don’t think you’re stupid.”

“I’ve never liked when you lie.” He nods, sniffling loud and hitting play. “You always look dead behind the eyes when you lie, did you know that? Because even you know that deep down inside no matter how much you hate me, lying isn’t your style.”

The black tv screen illuminates, a dim video of sheets that make your eyes squint, familiar..

“Is that—“ the camera zooms out before you can even speculate, cutting off your breath. “N-no—there’s no wa—“

Jeno sneers, dragging the back of his hand across his eyes and nose. He turns the volume up until your pleasured moans resound throughout the classroom, cascading down the walls and your frame like lashings. The camera doesn’t bother to focus on Jisung once, zoomed in on your face, your mouth hung open, the lines formed between your eyebrows.

“H-how..” bile rises up your throat, stepping back until your butt meets the ledge of a desk. There’s no way Jeno could have known, how HOW could he—

“I know what you’re thinking.” He says smoothly, the tears dried up and gone. Spinning on one foot to face you and waved the remote in your direction. “You thought he really liked you, right?”

“N-no it’s n-not that—“

“What did I tell you about lying?” He grite, placating you with a cold hard stare. “I could have saved us the trouble of dealing with any of this. I knew from the second I saw you talking to him in class, I knew from that moment. You looked so happy.” He scoffs, head shaking, pausing the video. “You looked so fucking happy and hopeful, the same way you looked when I saw you talking to Haechan in the library before.”

He takes a deep dramatic breath, tossing the remote aside, arms free to cross over his chest and lock you in place with one of the most fear-inducing looks you’ve ever seen. “You never look at me like that. You never even tell me that you love me, and you pretend..” Jeno shifts back, turning his body away from you. “You pretend to hate me.”

Everything inside of you screams to say something, to tell him that he’s wrong, that you do hate him. But there’s that pain in your chest again, the one that feels worse than any pain you’ve ever felt, worse than when Haechan moved away and slowly forgot about you. Worse than when he ignored you after you had sex..

It’s a pain that only Jeno can pull out of you. It’s denial, hate, love, anger, fear, obsession, worry, and right now, that pain fills you with terror. He knows, and more than worrying about what he’ll do to you, you can’t stop the tears from flowing out at the thought of losing him.

“I-I’m sorr—“

“Stop.” He snaps quickly, fully turning away and motioning to the classroom stock closet. “You can come out now.”

Through your bleary vision, you see him come out, big smile, broad and tall. Cocky as he clasp hands with Jeno and shoots you a wink over his shoulder. “You’ll send me a copy too, right?”

“Get the fuck out.” Jeno jeers, crashing his shoulder into Jisung’s side. “Good job though, the money should be in your account.”

“Yeah of course man, anytime.” He smirks before turning to face you, winking as he makes way to pass by you. “And you, I really did have a good time last night.” He leans it quickly to whisper. “If this weird shit you have going on doesn’t work out, you know where to find me.”

“Please…please!” You stammer, feeling overwhelmed and overheated the longer you have to listen to yourself get fucked through all of this. Every bit of confusion struggles to clear as your mind rages and grows heavy, painfully beating through your skull. “Turn it off! Please!”

Jeno snickers, ripping the TV’s power cord out. “Not that you deserve peace of mind right now.” He mumbles, petting the teddy bear he gifted you on your anniversary. “What were you thinking?”

“I..”

What were you thinking??? Obviously you were thinking that your classmate who you’ve secretly had a small liking for may have a small liking for you in return. There’s nothing else to say, you fell right into Jenoms trap, you always will..

“Don’t answer that.” He says, turning toward you with an unrelenting penetrating gaze. “I know what you were thinking. I always know what you’re thinking.”

He steps closer, trapping you against the desk holding your weight up. Weakness takes over your ankles and knees, dropping head head to hang, too ashamed to even look at him. More embarrassed than ashamed.. why should you feel ashamed?

“You thought a guy like that could seriously like you? What’s it going to take for you to learn this lesson?” Jeno continues, voice cutting deep and sharp. “No one here will ever like you except me. Jisung may pity fuck you out of boredom, but he’d never bring a girl like you home. He’d never take you serious, he’ll never give a real fuck about you.”

“T-this whole time..” you stutter, biting down on your lip. “You k-knew this whole time.”

“Pft.” He bends in to meet you eye level, still standing straight to loom over your slouched frame. “I’m always watching you.”

Jeno’s tongue clicks, whistling lowly, taking a step back to snap his fingers in a sarcastic manner. “You know who else could give a shit about you? Haechan.” He nods, finding your red wet eyes. “Haechan who hasn’t acknowledged your existence ever since that day.”

“N-no..” tremors vibrate up your throat, gripping onto the desk beneath you to keep yourself up. “There’s no way..”

“I had a sliver of hope, you know?” He sighs, rubbing at his temples. “I thought maybe you finally understood that Haechan could give a fuck about whatever it is you used to have. That stupid childhood friendship you cherish and hold onto still.” He pauses to look at you, blinking glassy eyes away. “I can’t trust you, even after all that I do to prove to you that you belong with me.”

“This—this isn’t—“

“Haechan—he’ll never love you, he’ll never see you as anything more than some poor loser from his past.” He interrupts, hissing between his teeth. “Jisung, even fatter chance. I’ve explained this to you so many times now. When will you get it.”

“Why are you doing this to me?!” You screech, louder than you even thought possible. Tears rush towards your chin, digging your nails into the cheap old desk wood. “Why me?!?”

Jeno scoops your face, thumbing your wet cheeks softly, almost gently. His own eyes shake, pouring out from the corners. “Because.” He breathes in deep through his nose, wet voice coming out shattered. “I love you.”

I love you I love you I love you. Those three words repeat over and over again, a face full of anger turning into one you can hardly recognize anymore, fingers dug into your cheeks as if he can somehow force you to believe him this way. It hurts to watch more than anything, as Jeno crumbles and falls to his knees, arms wrapped tight around your hips screaming manically that he loves you.

He. Loves. You.

Haechan doesn’t love you, and a guy like Jisung could never love you..

He’s right. Jeno’s right. He’s been right from the very beginning. You could have listened, avoided all of this? The normalcy you wished to have with him, whatever that could have been.. if it ever could have been.

“Why won’t you love me?!” He sounds broken, distraught, hopeless. The hug around your lower half burns, feels like you’ll never be free, you’ll never get away from him.

You don’t want to get away from him anymore.

“I love you, Jeno..” you can hear your voice empty of life as it exits your lips. The image before you too blurry to even make out past your tear-filled gaze. “I love you.”

The grip on your hips loosens, tears calming to a round of sniffles, he stops shaking and slowly lifts his face to look at you. “Say that again.”

Cold, emotionless, demanding. That’s the tone you’re used to..

“I love you.”

Jeno stands back up, quickly cleaning his eyes off with the heel of his palms. A large smile altering the anger and sadness he just displayed seconds ago. “My Teddy.”

He rambles, words slurred together as you fail to process anything that’s just happened. Could this have ever been normal? Or is this simply who Jeno is? He’s obsessive, crazed, dominant and deranged.

“I know you love me.” He sighs happily, tugging you in close and rubbing along your spine. “I knew when you made Jisung put on a condom.”

The way spit clogs up your throat at that makes you choke on your next breath, Jeno’s laugh rumbling against your chest as he pats your back to help you. “I thought so after you made Haechan use one, but this really confirmed it. You wanted to hurt me, wanted to make me jealous..” his voice lowers, shifting to whisper in your ear. “But deep down inside you know I’m the only one you want to fuck you full of cum.”

There’s no point in questioning anything, you know he hates when you do that. You know that he has ways to find out things that you can’t begin to understand. “I know baby, that’s why I had to replace your prescription too. Those mints you always popped in your mouth after eating lunch. It’s cute how you play these little mind games with me..”

Mints?! The birth control you started taking after.. that first time. You knew he was evil, mentally deranged, but fucking your with medication?!

“M-my mints??” You ask in disbelief, having to bite down on the backs of your teeth to stop your jaw from hanging.

Jeno waves a finger at you, tapping your nose. “I don’t believe in that birth control shit.”

And there it is, the same Jeno you became familiar with in this very room. The same one that turns your dreams into nightmares, that makes you look over your shoulder constantly, the one that’s imprisoned you in this inescapable hell.

“It’s cute how you still think you can out-smart me.” He says sternly, pinching your chin. “But nothing about your constant lying is cute.”

He leans in close, eyes wide open taking in your despair, licking up the tears that seem endless. Everything, all of this, you were never going to win. Winning was never an option.

“You’re so special to me.” Sucking at the droplets dangling from your chin, he nips up your jaw to swallow your earlobe. “So special and real, remind me so much of him. Who he used to be.”

Because that’s really what this all boils down to. You never willingly fell for Jeno’s charms the way everyone else does, he had to force this, and even then you didn’t give. You held on to the last bits of yourself that remained raw and real, you chose to love and accept who you are even when he diminished your worth. And that drove him crazy, tickled him in places he forgot existed, reignited those memories of who his best friend once was.

“I love you.” Jeno repeats, whispering just for you, not that anyone could even hear your screams here from room 0423. No one heard you the last time, no one helped, no one cares.

“I love you too.” The tears that pour down from your upper lip could come across as tears of joy. From an outsider's point of view this could look like the happiest moment of your life. Sharing confessions of love with your boyfriend, a handsome young man who can only be described as obsessed with you, but they aren’t happy tears; and as Jeno grins, squatting down to scoop you up, you have to swallow the rancid bile rising up your throat. Laid back down on the same desk he first had his way with you on, the same place he made you shut up and take it.

It’s crazy and out of body when Jeno’s palms drag down your sides, unbutton your top and reaches under your back to unhook your bra. He’s done it many times, it’s muscle memory at this point removing your clothes. Each small drag of his fingertips feel more chilling, crashing waves of shock throughout your system. Even as he strips you nude and licks down your inner thighs you lay there stoic, gaze unwavering from where he stands between your legs taking time to stroke over your figure.

“What’re you thinking about teddy?” He coos, kissing along the tender skin lining your inner thigh. “You look like a lot is going on inside that pretty head..”

What are you thinking? You’re not thinking much of anything. Unable to process a singular thought as you watch him bend in and kiss down the center of your sternum, trailing down to your navel. There’s nothing else you can say right now, nothing else you want to say as tears collect and spill over, running down to your ears.

“I missed you, I missed you so much.”

Jeno slowly cranes his head up to find your tear-filled gaze, he slowly reaches to cup your face, slowly smiles. It all seems too slow in comparison to the breakdown you’re having. Shaking down to the tips of your fingers and toes, body wracked with sobs as he sits you up and thumbs at your wet cheeks.

“Did you sweetheart? You missed me?”

“Y-yes!” You cry out watery, throwing your arms around his waist to pull him in close between your thighs. “You left me, you didn’t come. You always pick me up, you’re always there.”

Jeno falls silent, basking in your misery, savoring the wash of success that rains down on him. He’s broken you, dropped each piece of the puzzle only to reassemble it the way he wants. Broken, fixed, he did that, made you his and only his. His hands reach under your top, stroking up your spine and cooing in your ear. “I’m always there, I’ll always be there.”

That’s his promise, that he’ll always be there for you. He’ll always watch out for you, even if it’s not in the traditional romantic way you’d dreamt of as a child. It’s still special, you’re still special to him. And that’s enough, that’s really enough. Because your body calms down, and your nose finds comfort in his clean scent, eyes falling shut as you begin to relax under his touch.

He straightens out to kiss your cheeks, smooth your hair away from your face and take in the sadness streaked across your iris. It’s sadness with a hint of hope, a hint of something he’s never noticed before. You’re finally looking at him like he means something to you, and that makes Jeno’s chest swell. Heart beating rapidly as he leans in to catch your lips and suck on each until they blister under his bites.

He never kisses you softly when you’re alone, and maybe you like that. He’s passionate and rough, takes control of your mouth and tastes through every little crevice inside. He always tastes good and lingers on your tongue for hours throughout the day, but you like that. You need to feel him, smell him, taste him, belong to him. You need him to remind you of who you belong to when you start to stray and seek attention from anyone else.

“Would you hurt me?” You asked him before, and as your eyebrows crush together while kissing him you have to ask again. Because Haechan hurt you, he hurt you so bad. Jisung hurt you, he hurt you more than he’ll ever know. But Jeno.. he can’t hurt you. If he ever hurt you, there’s no way to predict what you’d do..

“Only if you hurt me.” He says in a serious tone, pulling back to look in your eyes. “You won’t, not anymore. You love me.”

“I—I do, I love you.”

It’s final, it’s your love story. Here in room 0423, the school you worked hard to get into, the scholarship you stayed up late day and night putting in extra credit for. All of that led to this moment in time with Jeno. Led you to your destiny, to the man that loves you.

“I know teddy, I’ve always known.” Taking your hands, he kisses down your fingers from the tips, spending extra time on your knuckles, turning them to drag his lips over your palms. “I have plans for us, our future.”

Plans. Future. Whatever that means.. you’re just happy to be here with him. To let him place your hands on his cock, laugh quietly at the way your fingers can barely wrap around him. “You’d never ask me to wear a condom.” He mumbles. He’s proud of that, says it in a boisterous tone.

“Never.” You agree solemnly.

That’s the best part of this victory. You were never a simple one time fuck, you were always meant to be more. He had to break you down beyond whatever voided space sex could fill, had to ensure your only need in life should ever be him.

It’s easier to lift your legs up and prop your feet on the desk, fully exposing your core. You still whimper and hide your face, still give off a facade of not wanting it.

He wants you to watch, see every second of him filling you up from inside out. To know that your body belongs to him, that he made you this way. He slaps your thighs to get you to hold yourself open, grabbing onto the base of his cock to stroke. Free hand finding your hair to ball up in his grip and keep your neck bent down. “Want my cock sweetheart?”

Jeno shakes you by the tuft of hair in his hold, nodding your head up and down. “I know the small little dicks you let fuck you weren’t shit.”

The way your hips stutter at that and wet arousal bubbles from your hole makes his cock twitch, inching closer to pick up a dollop of your slick, spreading it up to your clit with the tip of his length.

Thankful for the rubber sole of your shoes keeping your feet in place, you moan, biting it down still out of habit. His cock is nice, thick, covered in large projected veins. The fat pink tip dips in past your clenched hole, forcing a gushing wet sound to echo throughout the classroom. It should be humiliating but your body says otherwise, squeezing out more of your arousal with each teasing prod of his cock.

He plays with you like that for a while, to get you desperate and needy the way he likes. Cockhead probbing in and out enough for the mass of his bulbous tip to disappear inside of you.

“J-Jeno..”

That’s it, that’s what he likes to hear. That shattered little way you say his name. He bends in again to lick your cheek clean, dragging his lips to your ear. “Don’t take your eyes off my cock, if you do I won’t be nice.”

That’s how he talks to you, none of that lovey dovey shit when you don’t actually want it. He talks to you like you’re dumb, like you need to be told what to do, and sometimes you do. Times like these when you relinquish all control of yourself and let him turn you into a puppet, you need to be told to speak and listen, to watch and enjoy. He’s good at that, at making you feel small when you need to.

Weakly nodding, you scoot back to get a better grip on the backs of your upper thigh, hold yourself fully open for him. It’s commemorative being here like this again, on this desk, watching him begin to slowly push his fat girth in.

His hands travel down to hold your cunt open, making it stretch even more as you take and take. It always hurts a little bit trying to take all of his length at once, a good hurt, the type the tingles from the end of your spine to your brain. Watching it split you open this up close makes the pain even more surreal, drooling from your mouth like a starved animal. Pussy drooling around his cock the more he buries in, skin pulled taut around the thick shaft.

“Do you see?” Jeno says deep and raspy, pushing in more than half of his mass already. He fingers your clit for a minute, watching your hole convulse around him. “See how damn good you take it baby? You’re so good for me.”

“Unnghhh..” you wanna kick your legs out, throw yourself on him, wrap your arms around his neck. You have to wait, be patient and watch the rest of his size push in. “S-so big.”

“Was made for you.” He says clearly, through the fog clouding your ears. “Was made to fuck you teddy, that’s why I feel so good inside of you. We’re perfect for each other.”

Hearing that makes you brain melt, dropping your head to hang only for Jeno to wrap around your throat and lift your head up, burning you with his fierce gaze.

“When you kissed Haechan,” his hands constraint around your neck, jerking your head to look at him. “Was your body still screaming for me? Is that why you missed me?”

When he says he knows everything about you he really means it. Down to the infestation of emotions crushing your soul everyday. He knows you’ll never be able to recover from what he’s put you through, you’ll always be addicted, crawling like a fiend for the next hit.

“You were thinking of me, that’s it right? With your lips pressed tightly up against his skin.” He says in the most condescending tone, dragging the tips of his fingers up your jaw while keeping a tight clasp around your throat. “Was he even worth the fuck?”

In the end, he wasn’t, your eyes tell Jeno everything he needs to know. The ache and lust, pangs of guilt muddled between. “Did he fuck you like this?”

The rest of his length sinks in, thrusting in the fat base of his cock ruthlessly, nearly losing your balance if not for the chokehold he has you in. “He’d never fuck you like this, not the way you need. Nobody ever will.”

To drive it home he pulls out completely, making your pussy gape wide open and dribble a wad of wetness out that spills onto the classroom floor. You want to agree with him, tell him that he’s right, that he’s the only one that will ever fulfill your needs now, coughing and blubbering your whimpers as you try to inhale. He fucks into you like a rabid feral wolf, plunging his cock in and out all the way to hear your gurgled scream. It hurts it hurts it hurts, it hurts so fucking good.

The more animalistic he becomes, the more your skin drips with sweat, straining to keep yourself in this position on the desk. Legs more like jelly as your feet begin to slip and your ass slides forward. Jeno only pummels into you faster, determined to rip through your womb, leave a mark on your cervix.

He grunts wildly, releasing your neck abruptly to wrap around your waist and cup your ass right as you nearly fall off the desk. Each thrust inside feels more erratic than the last, diving his cock in deeper than you’ve ever felt anything reach. He’s relentless, growling through it all, exerting power and anger as he hoists you up by your ass and your legs wrap around his hips limply.

“Fuck my baby into you.” He grunts furiously, throwing your body up and down on his cock. Hand prints bloom on your throat, dropping your head back to let out a howling moan, crying out for only Jeno to save you now. For Jeno to do whatever he wants with you.

Your cries has him laying you back on the desk, needing to see for himself how broken and pathetic you look. Hauling your thighs to wrap around him securely to not lose an inch of warmth blanketing his length. He pounds in balls deep, the clap of his sack meeting your ass resounding throughout the room wet and loud, making your legs tremble with each barreling thrust.

“Yeah? Fuck you full of my kids.” He growls, reaching for your shoulders to really lose it on you. Jerking back up the desk by each violent smack of his hips crashing down on you. It’s the crazed look in his eyes that hurdles you back into the last time, catching the faded sound of your pleading, of your denial. Screaming out no no! Over and over again, only for him to ignore you, have his way and ruin you for anyone else.

“P-please—“ you cry, squeezing around his meaty girth as much as you’re able to, feet dangling bonelessly behind him. “P-please, make me y-yours.”

It could have been this way last time, wanting him to have you instead of begging him to stop. It could have been normal, but the two of you were never destined for that. You were meant to be his as much as he was made to be yours. The wet smack of his balls turns messy, the looming broad frame mounting you losing his composure as you look up at him and more tears trail down your cheeks.

“You always look prettiest when you cry.” Jeno grits out, falling down against you to slam home a few more jerky thrusts. Cock spurting out enough cum to surely knock you up, pushing it in deep with each digging swivel of his hips and he grabs onto your chin and laps your hot cheek clean of tears.

“Might have to keep getting you pregnant after this..” he mumbles, kissing the swell of your lips. “Fuck your ass in the mean time while you’re knocked up. I know how my teddy likes it..”

It’s hot and sticky between your bodies, nodding slowly at what he says, you suck on his thumb until both of you have calmed and caught your breath.

He’s not just inside of you, he’s seeping from your pores, infiltrating your nervous system, tearing you open from inside out. Each exhausted breath he takes lines up to yours, blinking simultaneously, twitching through the aftershocks of your orgasm at the same time. He’s yours, and you are his. One soul, one heart, one love combining you.

“I love you.” He pants, reaching between your sweaty bodies to smooth his palm over your extended stomach, bulging out with his cock lodged in so deep. “I love us.”

Jeno did more than ruin your life. He destroyed everything you’ve worked hard for. Shattering your hopes and dreams, demolishing any type of independence you strived to achieve, he stripped all those dreams away.

He’s your new dream.

“I love you too.”

He hums, shifting to bracket your head with his biceps, littering gentle kisses across your wet tear-stained cheeks. “I know teddy, I know.”

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･･ ⋆ ･

There are many ways you envisioned the future. Flying cars, trains that can get you from one side of a state to another at the speed of light, maybe even actual superheroes.

You can even recall sitting side by side with Haechan reading Uzumaki after the fight you had that brought you into each other’s lives in the first place. If you hadn’t wanted to read that damn manga so bad, if you had just shown up at the comic book store any other day. He had sat there with you, thigh pressed to yours, bangs too long and shabby, flicking up with each blink.

You thought it was nice, to like a boy, to have a crush. It was nice to go home and giggle while brushing your teeth, sent off to dream after your mom tucked you in. Haechan had appeared, the Haechan he’d grow up to be someday. The Haechan you wanted him to be someday, but the thing about dreams is they’re silly.

“I don’t believe in dreams.” Jeno says behind you, zipping up the back of your dress. “There’s more power in manifestation.”

But dreams are manifestations if you think about it, and while you dreamt of the future with Haechan, you remember it had been just like Uzumaki.

Spirals had begun to sprout up in the small town around you, driving everyone insane. Infecting each inch of surface and land, and you, you reached for Haechan as he escaped the swarm of spirals. You screamed, shouted, pleaded for him to grab a hold of your hands and save you.

And then you woke up, sitting up in your childhood bed feeling a sense of dread.

“I manifested you.” Jeno kisses your nape, fixing your hair into place. “My Teddy.”

No. He didn’t. That’s what you want to say, to let him know. He didn’t manifest you, you let him in years ago when Haechan stood there in your dream. Watched you get swallowed up by the spirals, the exact same way he watched Jeno swallow you whole. He did nothing then, he did nothing now, exactly like your dream.

It’s been a week now since you last went to class. A week now since you moved out of your studio apartment, Jeno reminding you that ‘That shithole is no place for my soon-to-be wife to live.’ as he drove you to a new apartment. Furnished, never lived in, a great view of the city, and two bedrooms.

‘Until I’ve saved up enough for a house, this will be perfect for our little family.’

He kisses your forehead and held you close, admiring the scenery outside of your bedroom window. ‘You’ll never have to worry about anything again.’

Don’t ask questions, don’t worry, just trust him.

Because he knows you’d never handle the truth without a fight. The anonymous threats he holds over Haechan’s father’s head, the thousands of dollars he’s set aside just to get you away from your childhood friend. It’s all been a part of his plan, and thankfully it worked. Of course it did, everything works out for Jeno.

“We won’t stay out too late.” Jeno smiles, reaching over to the passenger seat to tweak your chin. “You look so fucking cute in that costume.”

“I feel fat.” You mumble, poking at your exposed stomach.

“Don’t start.” He tuts, slapping your hand away. “You look like my fluffy cute teddy.”

You really do. Wearing fluffy round ears on your head, fuzzy tan brown bralette and matching shorts with a puffed tail attached. Jeno held up the costume with a huge smile, tossing it your way only a few hours ago and letting you know to get ready for a Halloween party tonight.

His costume seemed much more simple, nothing more than a Michael Meyers face mask and his usual attire. Tight black tee, fitted dark wash jeans, combat boots, studded leather belt.

You look really good too Jeno.

That’s what you wanted to say, especially after the last few weeks of falling asleep in the same bed together. You really really really wanted to say it, to tell him he looks hot, sexy, devastatingly attractive.

You say nothing though, following along with his arm around your shoulder through a throng of partygoers dancing around in their fun costumes. Fairies, iconic characters, Barbies, Bratz Dollz, cops and robbers. It’s fun really, your first Halloween party, your first Halloween party with your boyfriend.

“Water?” He hands you a cup of clear liquid, ignoring the bottles of alcohol lined up atop the kitchen counter of whoevers house this is.

“Thanks.”

He nods, directing you to a long winding staircase leading you up to an enormous hallway entrance. Rich people of course, luxurious decor, expensive paintings, every inch of this place spotless surely thanks to a 24 hour live-in maid service.

“There’s still one last thing I need to fix for you.”

Jeno walks backward, facing you with that blank faced mask on, arms prominent and flexed in the confines of his tight shirt. “That’s why we’re here Teddy.”

What could that even mean? One last thing to fix for you. Nothing can be fixed anymore.

“Come here baby.” It’s dark up here, darker in the room he tugs you inside of, immediately pinning your body to the wall, digging his fingers into your waist. “How am I supposed to keep my hands off of you?” He grunts, turning you around to press your breasts to the wall, stroking your hair aside to kiss your nape and toy with the leather choker there.

He says that offhandedly sometimes while you’re lazing around in bed after waking up. It’s so hard to keep his hands off of you, he has no idea how he’ll manage once you give birth.

That’s why you’re here, surprised he even bothered to find a room to hide you away in. Among the many things Jeno likes, he loves to show you off, love for everyone to know you are his.

He doesn’t waste time to strip your panties off, dropping them to your ankles to squeeze your ass with his heavy thick palms. Holding you apart to watch your wrinkled rim flinch and tighten up. “Not tonight sweetheart. Gotta fuck your pretty pussy, you know that. Have to make sure your womb stays full.”

He still runs a thumb across your rim, just to watch your hips jut back, so needy.

“Stay still okay?” Jeno says sweetly, pointing to the door. “And don’t look away.”

He steps back for a minute, letting the cool air circulating around the room roll shivers up your back, chewing on your lip in anticipation.

You think you hear a click, something else familiar that you can’t exactly put your finger on before the warmth of his body returns and presses against you.

“Now where were we? My poor teddy, already making a mess.” He whispers against the shell of your ear, hand slipping between your thighs to rub the wetness around that's smeared down. “Should I fuck you now? Make my teddy feel real good?”

“Y-yes..” you whine, keeping your gaze locked on the door like he commanded. It’s not good to disobey Jeno, and you don’t intend to.

“Beg for it better than that..” the weight of his size smacks against your ass, hot and heavy. Letting you know he’s fully hard and ready to fuck. “Come on.”

“Please Jeno.. wanna feel f-full..” you do your best to sound sweet, docile and small. Anything to not spend another minute without him inside of you.

“Is that all I am to you? A big cock to get yourself off on? Huh?” He seeps between your thighs, gripping onto your hips firmly. Rocking his hips forward, the clap of his skin hitting the perk of your ass resounds. Your skin sticky from body shimmer and lotion, moistening up as he ruts between your thighs.

“N-no.. love you, love your cock too.” You whimper, having to bite down on your hand to not scream when he slaps your hip and lets out a deep pleased grunt.

“That’s what I like to hear sweetheart.” Without bothering to warn you, he pushes in, pausing a little more than halfway only to savor the wet trickle of arousal drenching his length. “Fuck, that’s how much you love my cock? Dripping this fucking much already.”

“Yesyesyes!” You nod into your hand, bumping your head against the wall. Biting down harder on your fingers as impending screams rise up your throat. Muffling the one that breaks free when he pushes into the hilt.

Jeno’s cock always feels like the first time everytime, so big and fucking thick. Penetrating deep in ways that don’t even seem humanly possible. He always makes you cum, makes you want to go again even when your body needs a break.

“L-love h-how full you m-make me!” You blabber, reaching to grab onto the wall as he builds up speed and starts to thrust faster. Palms slide up your waist to fuck you the way he wants, pulling out to the tip each time and diving the entirety of his length right back in to really make you feel and take every inch.

“You love it?! You love me?” He growls, sliding one hand lower to find your clit before you’re able to respond. He knows you’ll choke on your next words, making your pussy gush out more around him as he rams up and fucks you vigorously. “Answer me!”

“Yes yes! I love you!” You wail, bounced up and down fiercely. The angle placing the tip of his cock right under your navel. “Ah! Ah f-fuck!”

“Yeah, keep fucking saying that sweetheart.” He roars, biting at your shoulder, swiping your clit side to side. Thin fingers play you like a fiddle, stroking and pinching your clit until you’re clenching around him. Toes pointed off the ground, neck tossed back in ecstasy.

Jeno reaches so deep, he fills you up so so good, he stretches you open in a way you’ve become addicted to. Clawing at the wall on the brink of your orgasm, chanting repetitive begging between your moans. He eats it all up, groans against your skin, shoving his mask off as the door opens.

“That’s it Teddy,” fisting your hair, he shoves your cheek against the wall, maneuvering your face toward the stream of light that enters. “Milking my cock so fucking good.”

Haechan’s eyes meet yours, wide and bewildered, quickly scanning from Jeno back to you. “Cum for me, let him see how you really take it baby. Show that bitch who you fucking love.”

It hurts. The pleasure between your thighs taking over your lower half as your heart pinches and aches, the two powerful emotions crashing head to head. And Jeno thrusts in hard, swiping his fingers rapidly along the sides of your clit until you’re crying out, slapping the wall with a shout.

“That’s my girl, that’s my fucking girl.” He rasps behind you, cupping your face to bite down on your jaw. Through your dazed euphoria you think that’s your broken voice spewing out a song of IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou, eyes rolled back as the cool chill washes away from your skin with an overwhelming wave of heat.

Jeno sport’s the biggest and most wicked smile, watching Haechan’s face fall. The last thing his old best friend could snatch away from his life, successfully crushing the relationship you ever had with him. He watches his old friend back away disgusted, and he cums, filling you with a hot stream of white, exclaiming how much he loves you.

“Love you so much baby,” he’s never sounded so honest, so enthralled and at ease. Drawing your waist back with his ripped arms, wrapping a safe hold around you to keep your limbless body against his. “Love you enough to give you my baby.”

His palms glide down, ending in their new favorite spot right beneath your navel. Kissing up your neck softly, murmuring about the future. “You’ll never be able to get rid of me now Teddy. We’re one now, you and I.”

There’s a hint of threat laced in his words, gently petting the area where he’s imagined a small bump will begin to show soon.

They day you met Haechan and lost him broke your heart. The day you met Jeno turned your life upside down, discovered the shattered pieces and put them back together again, finally showing you what you’ve always secretly wished for.

“I love you Jeno.”

“I know.”

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