#necessary context to help further understanding of my antics

[farmer-jean-paul]

steam cloud and darkest dungeon on my laptop is a dangerous combination because i can play on my lunch break between classes instead of studying.

something funny is that when my laptop isn't plugged in, it lags when someone lands or gets hit by a crit. used thinkpad from ebay moment.

[hopeymchope]

How "I'm In Love With the Villainess" crashed and burned in front of me during its last few episodes

I've gotten this one recommended to me multiple times now, so I tried "I'm In Love With the Villainess". The main protagonist (initially named Rei before she gets isekai'd) is a young lesbian who fell head-over-heels for the rival/villain in an otome game, then one night suddenly blinks and finds herself in that game's world, where she inhabits the body of that game's protagonist, Rae Taylor.

No further explanation for the dimension-hopping is given or necessary! That's not important. Rei/Rae promptly confesses her undying love to the aforementioned villainness, aka "Miss Claire" and ignores all of the game's intended (sadly for her, male) love interests for herself, instead focusing on spending the most time she can with Miss Claire.

Unfortunately, Rae's advances are deeply unwanted and make Miss Claire extremely uncomfortable. She even makes overt sexual references to the poor girl. The goofy vocal intonations of our protag make it clear that this is "wacky hijinx" despite the fact that if she were a man, this would be treated as a fucking crime. (See also: Kuroko Shirai's behavior towards Mikoto Misaka in A Certain Scientific Railgun.)

Despite all of that, it's not like I haven't enjoyed problematic relationships in my anime before now! For the love of Deus, I'm even in the tank for Yunoteru. It's also not like I DON'T think this series is funny, because it is. Against all odds and all reasonable logic, the wacky antics of Rae really do come off as legitimately hilarious on many occasions.

Claire, for her part, does everything she can to bully or offend or outright beat Rae into leaving her alone during the earliest episodes. But Rae... um, she doesn't really accept rejection. And kind of gets off on the beatings.

Once again: What's goofy/funny here would be AWFUL in reality. But in this context? Seeing Rae so sincerely enjoy the abuse she receives is funny! (Well... it was to me.) And eventually — after Rae blackmails Claire's father into hiring her as Claire's personal maid against Clarie's own pleas — Claire is forced to accept that Rae will just be omnipresent, regardless of her desire to drive this lunatic away.

"DO NOT touch me!" "But your hands are so soft!"

There's a simultaneously super-sweet AND semi-tragic undercurrent to all this madness. See, the obvious fact is that Miss Claire is straight. She has a crush on one of the otome game's princes, and her dislike of Rae's advances is made ABUNDANTLY clear. And Claire even initially shows an offensive prejudice towards Rae for being gay that really parallels real-world issues. And it's cool how that's all discussed/addressed! But Rae is somehow understanding of all this and even helps Claire with her own romantic pursuits, because she says she's happy just being able to help the person she adores so much. That's why Rae happily endures Claire's initial bullying/abuse. That's why she even applies to be Claire's maid. And after that, an extremely unlikely yet weirdly heartfelt friendship begins to grow between the two. Claire may still intensely protest Rae's perverted comments and is uncomfortable when Rae openly speaks of her love, but she also grows to trust Rae's counsel and companionship. It's... weird, and in real life it'd probably be ill-advised, but it feels oddly beautiful in this bizarre fictional context. (Which once again reminds me of Kuroko Shirai and Mikoto Misaka: Their friendship in A Certain Scientific Railgun feels bizarrely sweet despite how much it'd be an awful idea and VERY unhealthy if this were reality.)

So here I was, really enjoying the weird purity (if that's the right term?) of Rae's undemanding love, and the funny antics that she and Claire would get into, and rooting for Rae to find a nice woman who'd be a good match for her that would let her let go of her unhealthy fixation on the unattainable. But I realized that last desire was probably more of an endgame thing for the story, so I knew I was in for a long haul here. Along our path through all this, we get to watch Rae trying to play cupid for her beloved Miss Claire and the boy she's sweet on. We also get some pretty legit worldbuilding about the struggle of the working class vs. the nobility and the threat of revolution, some magic-based action, and uh........................ there's also an incest subplot about some supporting characters thrown in too because WTF?

But even THAT wasn't the turn that ruined it for me.

Because then things took THE TURN.

(***SPOILERS*** FOR THE LAST TWO OR SO EPISODES BELOW)

Look, everybody has different lines they're willing or unwilling to cross. In both real life AND in fiction. I think most people are more accepting of things in fiction than they'd be in RL, but there's still some kind of event horizon where everyone will go "TOO FAR IMO" and mentally check out/completely stop consuming the story.

In last few episodes of the series/season, a character rolls in who... it doesn't matter who they are. Let's call her The Interloper. The Interloper finds it legitimately enraging that Rae is just accepting that she won't be with Claire. "If you were SERIOUS about your love, you'd FIGHT to be with her!" she demands. And this feels so utterly, DEEPLY opposed to everything beautiful and sweet about Rae's affection, but... no, we're apparently meant to AGREE with The Interloper's bizarre attitude.

"Get out there and CONVERT that hetero bitch already!" "........wut?"

This Interloper does everything she can to spur Rae into legitimately fighting, tooth and nail, to get Claire to date her. And it.... fucking works????!?!???! The series ends with Claire and Rae as a COUPLE?!?!?!

So uh. I guess if you just do something impressive enough to really bowl over the object of your affections, it doesn't matter if they're gay or straight or whatever! They will legitimately change their entire sexual orientation FOR YOU. All you have to do is keep hammering away at that person rejecting you, and you can convert them into whatever you need! And you should absolutely FIGHT to make that happen, the show says!

Or how about this: FUCK. YOU.

Yeah, this was my "TOO FAR." It pissed me off to no fucking end.

Of course, I would've been perfectly justified to be pissed off much, much earlier. I could've easily been pissed at Rae's refusal to accept rejection and the fact that this is never seen as a problem or called out by anyone. I could've rightly been offended by the idea of this stalker and the object of her affection actually growing friendly with each other. I could've switched it off after the random incest. I could've been repelled by a physical abuser and the object of that abuse hooking up at the end (remember: Claire didn't KNOW that Rae would enjoy the beatings when she was actually performing the beatings). I would've been justified in any of those cases!

But it's like I said before: Our individual lines vary. I've certainly been ok with problematic relationships in fiction before. Partly because I've slowly accepted that in real life, our relationships can be messy and weird and distressing and born from bizarre, unwise circumstances. But... flipping a heretofore-aggressively-cishet character to suddenly be open to playing for the other team? That feels like a bridge too far for me.

And I accept that for you, reader? It might NOT be a bridge too far. If you can enjoy this despite all of what it entails? The more power to you.

In retrospect, the conclusion might've been an easier turn for me to swallow if (A) the series didn't actually take the time to seriously address some queer issues before this. Like, if this show had NEVER tried to give a shit about actual sexual orientation and prejudices about it, I think it might be easier for me to take this transgression LESS seriously because maybe I could be like "They're not remotely taking any of this stuff seriously/don't understand any of these issues, I shouldn't be suprised, it's more of a wish fulfillment thing at this point." It might also have helped if (B) the series ever made an effort to portray Claire as being attracted to a girl before this instead of always being freaked out/repulsed by the concept of homosexuality. But only in these last couple of episodes do we meet the aforementioned Interloper, who is actually a girl but who Claire used to have a little-kid crush on when she THOUGHT the Interloper was a boy (because they can pass as either pretty easy). This is the closest we get to Claire showing any openness towards/attraction to the same sex, and it only comes at the exact moment when we're angrily told that by a newcomer that the sweet and touching relationship at its core is somehow wrong, because the right thing is to convert someone to the sexuality you demand of them.

Christ. Can you imagine if this anime was about magically converting a gay person to become straight at the end? Can you imagine the RIGHTEOUS FURY that would have unleashed??????

No. I just can't with this. But your mileage may vary, and the fact that I'm spoiling the events of these last few eps might actually HELP your mileage to vary. Because I honestly think that if I knew this was coming, it might not have pissed me off as much as it did. I could've braced myself for the impact.

OOOOORRRRRR maybe I would never have been happy with how the earlier eps handled things if I knew where it was all headed in the long-term. Because for me, this adorable little comedy really just absolutely faceplanted into dog shit at the last lap.

Too bad.

[j4nn4s]

omg so i applied to a job with a writing sample from one of my skam essays and tbh i think its okay enough to post so if ur interested in lengthy 2000 word meta on one of my fave skam themes read below :~)

Right out of the gate, the series opens with a monologue about capitalism and economic politics. The very first line begins a discussion about "market liberalism" and "moving towards world trade." The fact that they chose to use such a political method to captivate their teen girl audience in its first initial seconds speaks to how much regard they have for their demographic. From the start, SKAM goes against common high school show tropes while never once underestimating those watching it. It is way too common of a mistake for shows with this demographic to make, further giving the genre a bad name. 

Continuing with this opening scene, a monologue is read as handmade videos depicting common adolescent antics is displayed. This illustrates the speech while also somewhat referencing the delinquency that’s often displayed in similar shows such as Skins. This speech leads smoothly into the show with it being a school assignment that Jonas, the boyfriend of the season’s protagonist (Eva), is reading out loud. The placement of this serves as an introduction to the series at large while also communicating the level of introspection the show is ready to engage with. 

This monologue introduces a pattern of reflection on aspects of life and our indirect and direct connections to the people around us that foreshadows the themes of the show. As we finish this first season and complete the following three, there are three central themes that are introduced: you never know what someone is going through so always be kind, always communicate with your friends, and no person is ever alone. In a series of three essays, I will be going into each of these with more depth, starting with the former. When I think about where I was in high school as I watch this show, these were the three key points I needed to hear the most. It is much too easy to focus on our particular frame of view and make assumptions on others’ behaviors, not realizing that there might be reasons for these actions that we will never understand. We cannot read minds and we do not know of all the events happening in someone’s life that leads them to make that decision. 

This major theme is first illustrated when a girl, Noora, notices Eva upset after an altercation with another girl. Noora does not know its context and why the other girl had called Eva a slut or why it affected her so much. But she understands that she is hurt by it, and that no matter the context for the comment, being called a slut can hurt. So, she approaches her and as a human, tries to lighten up her night with a lighthearted remark, which introduces herself to her. She noticed that the girl needed a friend and she offered that to her. Through this little action, making sure someone is okay when they’re hurt, there was a domino effect. Eva went to the toilets after and in there she noticed a girl crying, as she was hurt herself. Because of those small seconds of kindness Noora offered, Eva subconsciously passed that on and went to make sure that that person was okay and if she needed a friend. That person, Vilde, gave her a name and Eva went on a mission to find that girl. That girl, Chris, eventually found Vilde. Eva ended up bringing the wrong person, but through this, she became introduced to people she had not known before. Vilde and Chris eventually thanked Eva for that night and Noora and Eva kept up their correspondence. In addition to Sana, who was later introduced to everyone via Chris who saw her as very funny, the five all eventually became friends.

Every time I reflect on this first encounter between those first four characters that lead to them all being friends, it deeply touches me. Because in these vulnerable moments, they all needed friends. Eva did not have friends because of a falling out with her best friend. Noora did not have friends because she just moved to Oslo. And Vilde and Chris were thrown out of their friend group for various reasons and only had each other. And through practicing “radical empathy” (as Rebecca Patton from Reel Honey describes it) and being there for someone who needed it most, they were able to create something so beautiful and positive. 

One reason that made SKAM blow up in the first place, and why it is sincerely the greatest show of its genre, is because they get humanity right where it is least expected: a show about high school. We don’t expect to feel so connected to the characters and for our feelings to be heard and displayed on screen, staring right at us in the face. Our feelings are so complicated, always, but especially as teenagers when we are coming into our hormones and learning about ourselves. And SKAM does a brilliant job of capturing that. We see the main characters in such a vulnerable state at the very beginning of the series and we also see a sequence of events (including in the following episodes) that help them out of this vulnerable state. In its first episode, SKAM teaches its audience unconditional compassion towards strangers. It is beautiful.

Julie Andem expresses the theme of ‘not knowing what others are going through’ again later in season three, though with a more subtle example. In episode five, there is a scene where Isak, the season’s closeted protagonist, and Even, his love interest, discuss Isak's mom's mental health. Essentially, Isak made some not so pleasant remarks. Later on, Even got back together with Sonja, his girlfriend, causing Isak to be very hurt and upset. Andem uses this scene to communicate the idea that you often don't see why people do the things they do and only, instead, see their actions — which we all judge from our own point of reference (like, how we would personally have come to that action ourselves.) This leaves a gap in understanding that is filled with our own judgement that can affect how we respond to that said action. Because the viewer is so skewed in Isak's perspective, we are left just as confused and hurt as he is. All we see is Even's action without fully realizing or considering why. Knowing what we find out later in the season, it can be inferred that he was hurt by Isak's words about people with mental health issues, as he suffers from this himself. He simply went back to what felt comfortable to him — the rocky relationship he has with his girlfriend. However, it is challenging for the viewer to come to this conclusion on their own. This is because one, when the two had that conversation about Isak’s mom, Even didn't come across as upset in the moment. So to us, we are lead to believe that everything is fine, just as Isak does. And two, all we see is his action: him kissing and going back to his girlfriend. We share Isak's pain because we understand why he would feel that way, as we have been with him this entire time. Yet we don't initially feel the same way towards Even as we can only judge him by his words and actions and have already made judgements based on those. 

Andem takes on this complicated task of portraying this very human phenomenon in a quest to make the audience better understand the people they love. She understands that people will put themselves in the protagonist’s shoes when they watch this show and she wants us to learn as much as she wants her characters to learn. Later in the season, Isak discovers Even has bipolar disorder and he reacts a bit poorly at first, but it is because he is uneducated. The only thing he knows about this disorder is what Even’s (at this point) ex-girlfriend tells him, which is highly skewed because she uses her words to achieve a desired outcome: to get Isak to stay away from him. And it works. Until he becomes educated by his friend whose mother has the same mental illness herself, he realizes the disorder does not change how Even loves him. The audience might not have experience with people with bipolar disorder and so Andem takes this opportunity to teach us — as well as her character — how to better understand the people around us. How to better understand strangers. How to better understand friends who might have this, too. These kinds of stories is what I enjoy so much about Julie Andem’s writing; the reason why it is so brilliant. She genuinely tries to understand humans and teenagers through her writing and uses this platform to give her audience lessons that they can bring into their own lives. She displays our personal situations on screen and accompanies it with a solution, so we are able to take it with us into our own lives. [If anything, this is the entire goal of the series.]

In fact, she calls this phenomenon out by name in season two. Noora, that season’s protagonist, sees her boyfriend, William, engage in an act of violence, something that goes against her morals. She seeks Sana’s advice, revealing that she might reluctantly break up with him over it. She says that although she wants to be with him with every ounce of her being, she says she cannot if they disagree on those principles. Sana notices her reluctance and how much she likes him. In that moment, Sana delivers one of the most important quotes of the series itself: “If you haven’t even made an attempt to understand the one you love, then I’ll be pessimistic on behalf of the whole world.” For so much of the season, the idea Noora had of William was hindering the reality of how he actually treated her. On a surface level, the two might disagree about the topic of war and violence. But if you love someone that much, it is worth having those hard discussions. We should not give up on the people we love because of a disagreement on an issue. If we stop seeing the humanity in people, especially our loved ones, we are doomed as a society. This is a tough concept to tackle with adults, let alone teenagers. However, Julie Andem understands how necessary it is to portray it. She realizes that her demographic are the leaders of the future and that we must understand the toxicity of polarization on our relationships to loved ones. Andem uses a digestible scenario such as this one to accomplish one of the most essential moments of its season. As a side note, the rest of this conversation is worth watching as it has such rich writing and important points of discussion that everyone can benefit from, but I digress.

There are several more examples in the show that highlights this phenomenon and each time we are reminded of the dangers of this type of thinking. It is sometimes visualized through consequences (such as in the case of Isak, Even and Sonja) or explicitly said (such as in the scene with Noora and Sana.) But above all, Julie Andem proposes a suggestion to SKAM’s audience — a new mantra to adopt: "Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.”

In the next essay, we will discuss the show’s second theme, that I like to call: for the love of god, communicate with your friends.