#need to chew him in my mouth like llamas do with grass

[hyunpic]

[the-adorable-vinnie-dakota]

Pistachio Kids AU Oneshot: Llama Trouble

“Dude, that thing is freaking me out,” The chubby Pistachian boy Shellbert cowered in his place behind the bush, pressing himself close inbetween the other kid pistachians. “Seriously Shelby is there anything that doesn’t freak you out at all?” Sneered Crackerjack, a tough and rather fierce-looking pistachian. Shellbert sunk underneath the taller kid’s gaze in his mortification. Beside Crackerjack, Nutjob, a short but rather roundish pistachian, snickered in agreement much to Shellbert’s embarrassment. A female Pistachian girl narrowed her eyes and elbowed Crackerjack hard. “Quit picking on him Craig!” She hissed. “You’re making things worser than they already are!” Crackerjack bit his lower lip and nodded quickly, shimmying a little farther from his threatening sister. Nutjob did too, only out of loyalty. Shellbert gave the girl a thankful look. “Thanks Nat,” He softly smiled. “Oh just doing my job bro,” The girl pistachian rolled her eyes. “And for the last time it’s ‘Nutty’, get the nicknames right okay?” The boy nodded absent-mindedly and refocused on the animal ahead. The hairy long-necked creature raised its head as it continued to chew on the grass. It’s dark eyes set upon the pistachians and they cringed. To their relief, the animal stayed put and continued chewing. “That was close… Too close.” Nutjob clung on to Crackerjack, the taller one growling and shaking him off. Nutty and Shellbert had their pupils fixed on the orange-brown mammal. “What is that thing?” Nutty whispered to her brothers. “It looks like a hairy giraffe except smaller,” She watched it grab a bite of more grass. “I’ve never seen anything like it!” “It’s a Lama Glama,” Shellbert replied. Nutty lowered a brow and he quickly added. “Most commonly known as a Llama. A member of the Camel family. Domesticated specimen known to be bred for their wool and for their meat.” He gulped. “They’re also believed to have Pistachio in their diet list.” All the kids stood blinking until Nutty gave a squeak of fear. “What is it doing now?” He worriedly whispered. “It’s like standing there, just looking at us now.” He gulped and faced his intelligible brother. “Do they always do that?” “I don’t think so.” Came the answer. “Should we get daddy to hurry up and help us drive it off?” At this, Crackerjack smirked aloud. “Drive it off? As come on! Why on earth would we need to drive it off when we have these!” He held up a long branch with a menacing hook curve at the upper end. “We have weapons!” “Uh more like you, have a weapon, Cracker, cause we don’t.” Shellbert pointed out which is true. He and the others have nothing except for Crackerjack who often had his weapon by his side. The latter sighed in disappoinment. “Right.” He put his weapon down before crossing his arms… The llama continued to gaze at the pistachio beings until another pistachian, a gigantic male with a small child and two adolescents in tow, made their way for the plains the creature was standing on. Instinctively, the llama turned hoof and galloped off into a certain bush when the group came closer. “Well here we are kids! The perfect spot for our saturday picnic!” King Pistachian gave a wide grin as he spread the picnic blanket on the grassy area. Jerry and Short-Stuff put down the baskets of food and water while Brenda merely glanced around briefly - only to return to scrolling down on her phone. Jerry stared in the direction where he swore he saw the llama hightailing. “Hey dad, guys, isn’t that a llama that ran off?” At the mention of the creature, Short jumped and nearly dropped the basket he was holding. “Did you say llama? Oh no it’s gonna eat us all!” The boy screamed and dived behind King Pistachian who instinctively reached out to pull the little one near. The dad shot his older son a quick glare. “Don’t scare your brother like that Jerry!” He scolded while patting the trembling Short-Stuff in assurance. “You know those things only exist in the human age, without them those llamas are pretty well extinct by now!” Jerry opened his mouth to speak only to shut up with a huff. Brenda removed one of her ear buds at this and stuck her tongue at him. “Way to go fibber,” She giggled when Jerry gasped. “Hey I wasn’t fibbing! I saw a llama’s rear right there before it disappeared into that bush!” The two adolescents went from Jerry’s protest into a squabble. The King sighed and facepalmed. “Teenagers these days…” He whispered the rest sideways only to Short-Stuff’s ears. “Sometimes I prefer you and the other kids attitude-wise.” He sat up and frowned, looking around. “Speaking of kids… Sherman, where are your brothers and sister?” Short-Stuff tilted his head. “Which ones?” By far he had a lot of siblings - Specifying between them isn’t so easy depending on the usage of words. Something clicked in his head and he immediately knew who. “Oh right I remember now! Nutty told me that she, Shellbert, Crackerjack and Nutjob are gonna play here until we arrive!” He stood up and his eyes scanned the area. “But I don’t see them anywhere!” The King tipped his head. “Hm that’s odd. And it’s also pretty quiet since we got here-!” A chorus of loud screams cut the King off and he gasped in seeing the four small forms that are his youngest burst out of a bush as they were chased by that same llama Jerry saw seconds ago. Short-Stuff squeaked in terror when the creature ran past his face while Jerry and Brenda stared with mouths agape. The llama carried a stick weapon in its mouth and Crackerjack was the loudest as he and his siblings were running for their lives. “It’s got my stick! It’s got my stick!” He shrieked when the llama hungrily snapped at his rear, missing by inches. “We’re doomed!” “It’s gonna eat us alive! We are so Llama chow!” “Why didn’t we get pecked at by woodpeckers instead?!” “I’m too young to be stomached by llama!” The four screamed their throats dry in the wild llama chase. Switching to protective parent mode, the King Pistachian quickly stood up. “Keep it running kids! Daddy’s coming to get you all! Quick! Grab the ropes Sherman!” The child nodded and did so. Seconds later, the King and child Pistachians are bolting high speed to catch the rampaging creature before it can eat the exhausted youngsters… Meanwhile, Jerry grimaced and gave his sister a haughty look. “So, who’s the fibber now Brenda?” He sneered and chortled loudly when the girl just groaned in annoyance. -------------- For those who are wondering, I thought it’d be possible for the kids to have actual names and the ones they currently have are nicknames - since Pistachians like Jerry and Brenda can have common names that aren’t nut-related. Sherman is Short-Stuff, Nat (short for Natasha) is Nutty and Craig is a name I gave Crackerjack just for this fic ^^ Shellbert and Nutjob belong to @themurphyzone Nutty and Crackerjack belong to @krazy4kris Short-Stuff is mine