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#needless to say my entire adulthood's been a breeze compared to that shit lol. so there's good sides to it too i guess
iamfuckingsorry
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4 months
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what are you sorry for
I was very sorry for just about everything back when I made this blog in like 2013
#i've talked about this at some point but it took me like a full month to come up with my tumblr url
#and then one afternoon i was sitting in french class and i wasn't having a very good day
#and i was trying my best to look like i was normal and doing just fine (though i did probably cry a little bit lets be honest)
#but the only thing going through my mind was.
#“im so sorry for what a failure i am. so sorry for everyone who has to meet me and deal with me.”
#“sorry for my parents who got such a shitty worthless kid. im so sorry so sorry so sorry for being alive”
#just like on repeat. for the entire class. i was just sitting there blinking aggressively not being able to think of anything else
#and i was like. yeah. that's the essence of who i am as a person. i am sorry. i am a sorry excuse for a human and i fuck everything up
#it'll be a good tumblr url.
#needless to say my entire adulthood's been a breeze compared to that shit lol. so there's good sides to it too i guess
#like it hasn't always been good or easy. but no matter how bad stuff goes i can always look at how i was doing at 13
#and go
#“you're nearly 30 and you're still alive. you have a job that pays your rent. you don't cry yourself to sleep on most nights.”
#“your 13-year-old self would be so fucking impressed. i'm pretty sure she'd think you were making shit up if you tried to tell her.”
#“you're doing better than you could ever have hoped for my friend. keep it up.”
#herr's personal tag
#noelleaxolotl
#ask
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