#“im so sorry for what a failure i am. so sorry for everyone who has to meet me and deal with me.”

[iamfuckingsorry]

what are you sorry for

I was very sorry for just about everything back when I made this blog in like 2013

[writingstoraes]

no way 📹

pairing: charles leclerc/fem!reporter!reader

type: instagram imagine, social media au

notes: i want to say thank you for 1.5k! thank u for all the love you guys have been giving me and my works hehe <3 i really appreciate all notes, reblogs, replies, and messages hehe much love to everyone reading this! ❤️

about: fans notice how charles loses his senses when you're interviewing him, but they don't believe he has enough courage to do something about it!

yourusername

liked by landonorris, lilymhe, charles_leclerc, and 563,103 others

yourusername Back in the paddock once again 🎤

norristri not charles liking this within a minute of being posted 😭😭

ferrari1655 not surprised if he has her notifs on tbh he's just as whipped for her as we are

mercmilton THE it girl of the paddock i don't make the rules!

c2champs y/n please do some content with charles and carlos i am begging

charles_leclerc ❤️

hamilnicos u a grown ass handsome man surely you can do more than just a red heart

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, estebanocon, and 431,025 others

yourusername Some paddock coverage this week 👩‍💻

chacha16 oh i just know charles is fuming y/n interviews everyone often but him 😭

sainzstappen all he had with her was one post-race interview and he was down bad already and STUTTERING lecstulips she had him giggling and shit while talking about his rear tyre failure prior to qualifying its so funny 😭

paddockgirlie Charles has once again beaten me to liking Y/N's post he is like lightning oh my god

charles_leclerc ❤️❤️

chacha16 the two hearts is sending me charles im so sorry HHHDDBHFBHFBH

rbrwinners you dropped this queen 👑

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, scuderiaferrari, and 540,195 others

yourusername Covering and reporting this week's race from the garage of a certain Italian racing team ❤️

Can't wait for you guys to watch the contents we had prepared!

charles_leclerc We loved having you here! ❤️

sainzbaby lose the "we" charles we all know it was just you

hamilecs ITS HAPPENING OH MY GOD CHARLES GET UP

gaslysgirlie i love how charles is just fuelling the agenda that he has a crush on y/n he's not even trying to be discreet

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, pierregasly, and 302,294 others

yourusername Some outtakes from today! Had a nice time filming with charles_leclerc and carlossainz55 of Ferrari ❤️

charles_leclerc Til next time, Y/N! :)

yourusername ❤️❤️❤️ ilpredesti the smiley face oh hes so adorable

lecsmilton i just KNOW charles is having a field day rn

c2foreva we are getting more of flustered charles then 😭

44sainz we love you queen we can't wait 🙏

ynlover

liked by charles_leclerc, wagf1s, 44fan4, and 1,203 others

ynlover Charles and Carlos with Y/N today 🥰

lestappenthusiast WHY IS CHARLES HEREHFBFBHH

hamilnorris charles liked?????

loverfineline they're both winking 😭😭😭

rbrmercs now a y/n fan account is the last place i thought charles would be

YouTube, now playing: C2 Takes On 2 Challenges with Y/N!

6,372 comments

suckerforcharles: WHEN THE HELL DID CHARLES GET SO BOLD

1655sainz: holy shit i was not expecting that 😭

ricciardotauri: all yall kept saying charles had no rizz whatsoever and he decided to prove u guys wrong im crying

c2luvah: OK I TAKE IT BACK charles has got some moves in him

f1fanatic: what did y/n mean with "finally" like miss girl were u waiting too 🤭

olliefans: Carlos saying Charles is Y/N's favorite?? omg

6,501 comments

sainzmilton: I bet Carlos can't believe they're flirting right in front of his salad

lecslover: NOT Y/N FLIRTING TOO?????

luvroscoe: i'm shocked how charles didn't faint when y/n said that cause

sports55: y/n please flirt with me like that too queen 😣

6,712 comments

lewiswdc: y/n so much better than me i would have dropped dead if charles said that to me

supermaxmax: who the hell gave charles all this rizz and why was he hiding it DAMN MAN

fan2345: I am not an F1 fan but I am so invested in this I wonder if they're actually going to push through with this date 🤨

taytayrep: charles got his head in the game fr

charles_leclerc

liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, pierregasly, and 1,204,582 others

charles_leclerc There really was a great restaurant downtown.

sainzznorris I CANT BREATHEEEEEE

carlandos what a lucky man y/n is so pretty 😣

scuderiazz we're glad you finally got the courage to ask her out, king!

paddock5516 ouuu those interviews with her are so gonna hit from now on

carlossainz55 You know I let you win, right?

charles_leclerc Stop ruining this for me

---------

tagging: @slytherheign, @honethatty12, @siovhanroy, @fdl305, @iloveyou3000morgan, @cxcewg, @sassyheroneckgiant, @ang3licho3, @pitlanebabe, @riverdalexvixens, @msliz (if anyone else wants to be a part of my taglist, pls lmk by replying or sending me a message hehe)

notes: thank u so much for reading <3

[sv5hive]

in every universe? | cl16

pairing(s): charles leclerc x fem!reader

content warning(s): use of y/n, pretending the university of monaco has an architecture course shhhh, inaccurate architecture course information bcos i am lazy, ma**ia bin**to mention IM SORRY

word count: 2,580

note: this is my longesttt fic yet and i had so much fun writing it!! i hope you like it just as much 🫶🏻

masterlist!

"so in summary, i want to see how you will finance your project while keeping your budget in mind, any issues you may come across and their solutions, the influence behind it, how it might impact the environment and the population as well as visual aids to guide the audience. these presentations are due next month and remember! it is your responsibility to arrange times to work on the presentation together. i won't be accepting any excuses whatsoever!"

you chewed on the end of your pen at your professor's reminder as you watched everyone filter out the doors from your seat right at the back.

group projects always meant you would have to do all the work yourself just to share equal credit with everyone else in the group who didn't even attempt to contribute. this project was unlikely to be any different. it didn't help that you hadn't yet managed to make any genuine friendships with your classmates. it was understandable though, considering the expected workload at such a renowned university like monaco.

"hi, are you y/n l/n?"

too deep in your own thoughts about the assignment, you didn't realise the room had emptied completely. you also didn't realise other people apart from your professor knew your name. moving your gaze up to the source of the sound, you found a man almost too good looking to be true.

"oh, uh, yeah. yes, i am. sorry, who are you?"

with each word that escaped your mouth, you felt your face heating up. you didn't mean to be rude but you truly had no idea who you were talking to. how had you never noticed this greek god of a man in your class until now?

"i'm charles leclerc. we're in a group together for the assignment and i thought it would be a good idea to get your number so we can talk set up a time to talk about our ideas."

he held out his unlocked phone to you, inviting you to type in your number. if he was offended by your failure to recognise him it certainly didn't show which helped calm your frazzled nerves.

"oh, of course! sorry, i'm not used to someone else taking responsibility in a group project. usually i'm stuck doing everyone's work on top of my own. here you go." you replied while saving your number into his contacts.

he smiled at your admission and reassured you he wouldn't dare leave you to handle the entire project alone.

"i already have everyone else's numbers so i'll make a groupchat too. when are you free?"

as much as you would like to lie and say you had a life outside of studying, you didn't. but you would gladly say yes to any get together if it meant charles would be there too.

"honestly, i'm always free so any time works for me." you explained while packing your bag and standing up from your seat.

he grinned and walked with you towards the exit and out the building.

"yeah? how about now? there's this café i've heard is really good and i've been meaning to try it, i just haven't had the time recently."

you stopped in your tracks.

was he asking you on a date? this was definitely new. obviously you had been in a few relationships before but they had never quite managed to get you flustered like this on the first meeting.

truth be told, he had gone to that café a million times over as it was the closest one to campus that served the best croissants for cheap but you didn't need to know that.

"are you asking me on a date?" you asked, not hesitating to get straight to the point.

his grin flickered for a split second, almost in surprise at your bluntness, before growing impossibly wider.

"uh, yeah, i'm asking you on a date right now. so? what do you say?"

"hmmm, and what do i get out of it if i say yes?"

you didn't think twice about taking him up on his offer but it was fun to watch him scramble for reasons you should have a coffee with him. you watched him come up with several nonsensical arguments before you decided to put him out of his misery.

"relax, i'll go on a date with you! you should've seen your face!"

he blushed at your antics before joining in your giggles at his own expense. he had a feeling your laughter would become his favourite sound.

"what are you waiting for then? lead the way."

unsurprisingly, you two were the only ones who took part in the group project but you couldn't complain when you had such good company to help you.

"this is charles leclerc, he will be your race engineer starting from next season." your team principal fred vasseur gently pushed you away from your teammate to the new hire fresh out of internship at haas.

after the quick decline of your 2022 season, ferrari had wasted no time in sacking binotto and your less than competent engineer for much more suitably equipped individuals.

"pleasure to meet you, charles. i'm y/n l/n. are you sure you're ready for this?" you outstretch your hand to shake his.

"thank you, it's a pleasure to meet you as well, you are an inspiration to so many. i'm extremely grateful to be given this opportunity to work with such a talented driver like yourself. and yes i'm one hundred percent ready to give my everything so you can bring home some wins and maybe even the championship." he spoke with a conviction almost as if he had been practicing it in the mirror for weeks.

his hand wrapped around yours and you couldn't help but notice how warm they were even in the frigid winter. you grinned at his confidence and faith in not only himself but also the team and you as a driver. it was certainly the energy you needed after the less than impressive season that you had just wrapped up.

"i like him already! so much more positive than my last engineer. where have you been all this time?" you declared patting him on the back while looking at your team principal in approval.

he was so sure you could notice the pink tinge on his cheeks as he nervously smiled at your praise and suddenly found the carpeted floor the most interesting thing in the room to observe.

"i'm glad you two are getting along! now let's get on with this meeting. i would like to get home at a reasonable time today."

as the meeting dragged on, you found yourself staring at charles opposite you out of nothing but pure curiosity and maybe a little bit of humour. it was clear he harboured some feelings towards you that he couldn't hide no matter how hard he tried. that much was evident in the way he refused to even glance in your direction at the risk of making eye contact.

"we don't quite know how the others will perform yet but we definitely expect to be more on pace with red bull next year. this season wasn't our best but it gives us a good foundation to improve on which is better than nothing. any questions?"

even if there were any questions left unanswered everyone was much too tired to articulate them and so the meeting room fell into silence before you all said your goodbyes to each other wishing everyone a restful winter break.

you were headed out the door when you heard your name being called. you turned to see charles jogging to catch up to you and so you decided to wait for him at the exit.

"you excited for the winter break?" you strike up a conversation with him as you dawdled towards the car park together.

"yes, but i'm more excited for the season to start. i've been preparing for this my whole life. what about you? surely you're tired of being in the car?" he questioned with genuine interest.

"no, not really. i mean i've been preparing for this my whole life too. the travelling is a lot to handle but there's nothing more i enjoy than being in the car. don't get me wrong, i do like being at home too. i just love racing so much i wish i could do it all the time."

"really? you don't ever get tired of racing?" he looked over at you in wonder and you smiled at his disbelief.

"really. ever since i was a kid i've always wanted to be racing constantly. what about you? i mean pretty much all of us drivers got into the sport through karting. what made you want to be a race engineer?"

"well actually i did get into karting too. my father took me and my brothers to a local track and it all started there. i liked karting but i was always more interested in the technical side. my younger brother arthur liked it a lot though and he decided to pursue a career. he's actually stepping up to formula 2 next year."

"yeah? he must be pretty good then." you didn't recognise his brother's name because you were too busy with your own preparation every race weekend to watch the support series but you took his word for it.

"yeah, i'm really glad he's made it this far. we didn't have much money for karting when he was just starting out but we managed to make it work."

you were all too familiar with the struggles of funding and putting together enough sponsors just to make it through the season. there were already very few people getting into motorsport and the high costs didn't help. you had seen too many young talents drop out because they just couldn't afford it anymore. you were one of the lucky ones to secure a place in the ferrari driver academy and have their money to fall back on.

realising you were getting closer and closer to your car, you slowed down in hopes you could keep talking to charles for longer.

"so, why ferrari? it's a team with lots of history but we haven't won a championship since 2008." you asked with no ill intentions.

you really were just interested seeing as the team was currently the laughing stock amongst the grid and the fans - which you didn't blame them for. they had thrown away several chances of a championship with some of the most talented drivers, purely due to their own inability to perform when it was needed most.

"that doesn't matter to me. i've supported ferrari since i was little so it wasn't even a question which team i wanted to join. i remember i used to always follow the red car when they raced at monaco even before i knew it was a ferrari. anyone who has the chance to be a part of ferrari, would take that chance, no? i've barely started here but there's something special about being a part of ferrari." he explained with a look in his eyes that you could only imagine was the same wonder that appeared when watching the red ferrari of kimi räikkönen speed around his home track.

"what about you? you're the one who actually drives for ferrari so what made you sign with them?"

you stopped upon reaching your car neatly tucked inside the white lines.

"ah, i would love to tell you but i do have to get home."

charles' smile fell before he agreed, making his own excuses about his neighbours complaining of his late night ruckus he caused. both of you were disappointed at the fact you couldn't just keep talking for hours but you had another idea up your sleeve.

"but i would be happy to have dinner with you tomorrow to continue this conversation if you're free? if you want to join me that is! you don't have to."

"no, no i want to! that would be great! here's my number. i'll pick you up at 7?"

his initial plans of acting casual around you had been thrown out the window and he was already wishing for time to go faster. you couldn't help but smile at his eagerness - it was a change from your usually soulless dates who treated you like arm candy.

"great! thank you, charles, really. i haven't been this optimistic about an upcoming season in a while but you've already made me excited for the future, even though we just met. i have a feeling we're going to enjoy a lot of victories together." you admitted honestly.

you hadn't been completely happy with any of your seasons with the scuderia so far, always hungry for more despite exceeding the expectations of many.

"thank you, that's the biggest compliment i could receive. i have no doubt we can bring the team many wins."

the 2023 season went on to be one of your best performances in a time where red bull dominance was ever growing. although the championship was not quite in your firm grasp just yet, you had come closer than ever with the help of new management and, more importantly, charles. this was simply the beginning for you two.

"hey charles?" you called out looking up from your phone screen to find him pulling on his race suit.

"yes, mon ange?" he replied turning to face you sitting on the tiny bed.

even though you two had been dating for years, him and his pet names never failed to fluster you.

"do you think we're soulmates in every universe?" you asked after seeing the tik tok trend appear on your phone.

you weren't really expecting a serious answer from charles. you knew it was a silly theory but you decided to entertain the thought. however it seemed that charles had a different idea.

"maybe, maybe not. i'd like to think we are but even if we're not, that doesn't matter. what matters is that we're together in this one, no? besides, even if we weren't destined to be together, i'd still find you and choose you in every universe." he voiced casually, placing a soft kiss on your forehead while looking around the room for his racing boots.

his confessions of undying love to you had become a daily occurrence and it was always certain his words would make your heart melt.

"you've seen the trend, haven't you?" you questioned him. there was no way he had just come up with that answer on the spot.

"what trend? mon amour, you know i am not on social media as much as you are."

"the tik tok trend! are you sure you haven't seen it?"

"yes, i am very sure, mon ange. come on, i don't need to see a tik tok to tell you that i will always choose you."

you didn't fully believe him but you also knew that he was a terrible liar, his facial expressions giving him away no matter what with each attempt made.

"come here. one last good luck kiss for me?" he asked with a pleading look you could never deny and pulled you from the bed by your arms.

"of course, my love. i want you back safe in one piece, ok?" you held his face in your hands and placed a delicate kiss on his forehead, nose, each cheek and finally, his lips.

"anything for you."

[shradsmanifestt]

hi, im sorry for bothering u right now. ive been asking around for advice everywhere because i really need all the help i could use right now. my anxiety is flaring up like crazy because my results come out tomorrow and im so scared because if i mess this up then my future is ruined. my mental health has been horrible and that has severely affected my grades but in most asian countries they dgaf about that and basically think it's nonexistant for minors so ofc i'm still undiagnosed, and if i were to apply to a uni i wouldnt get any good chances anywhere. if i could just get 3 Bs in my AS levels it would be okay or else i'd have to retake it and it's super costly here.. i don't wanna put my family through that because they'll talk me down, degrade me, destroy my self esteem which i've managed to build back a little. they were like this since when i was the topper and thats what made me burnout. undiagnosed adhd, trauma, depression also contributed to it

im applying the law, but instead of the feeling of success that everyone else gets i feel panicked. the 'feeling' people usually get when they're in the wish fulfilled state, the feeling of accepting it and it being real—im not getting that. i dont see a clear picture when i visualize. every time i try to, i end up breaking down and feeling like a failure... but I'm still trying to go on because why is it that the people who hurt me and practically ruined my life get to live successfully, while i suffer? thats not fair... i promised myself that if i could just get 3 Bs, ill turn my life around and work really hard... but is it over for me? i want to win, im trying to, but im scared

im trying my best to visualize myself getting 3 Bs, reenacting my friends faces when i get the results, praying to God and thanking Him for blessing me and continuing to bless me, but there is this fear still lingering at the back of my mind... i feel like I'm not doing it right. i have like one day left and I'm so nervous. im going over posts, tweets, and every time I feel a little better, it all comes crashing down because of doubts. theres only one thing one my mind right now: 'how am I gonna turn it around in one day?' i know that the 3D does not matter and that everything is done in imagination, but here i feel like its not done in imagination either

right now nothings clicking in my head, whatever i read is getting scrambled in my mind, i feel so lost and empty. could u please tell me what to do in this specific situation? u can be as harsh as you want if that's what's needed to get the point across. im really sorry for the bother and id be really grateful if u could please help out, ive never been this desperate before... my life cant be over before it even started

Hey love,

I get you, I really do but trust me when I say this.

THIS SHIT IS REAL AF. Manifestation is real af. It's as real as the fact that you are a human being. All you have to do is trust yourself that it is already done. If good results is what you want then that is exactly what you'll get. You need to choose to stop having doubts because it is already done. That is the simplest answer I can give you. Persist on what you want.

I am glad to tell you this but I just got test results for a major exam held in my uni today and I got into the 95th percentile just by saying to myself that my super power is aptitude tests and that I already scored great. In my friends group only 3 of us were eligible and I have 70+ more marks then them as well. If I can do it, you can do it. You need to stop doubting yourself. Atleast stop doubting manifestation. Cause at this point you're only gonna manifest your doubts.

I'll give you a scenario - If you're worried about getting bad grades, Trust me when I say this you're gonna manifest exactly that coz you will manifest exactly what you assume. You can choose to stop that right here, RN. Choose to accept that you got great marks. I mean don't even like aim for B's go for A's. I don't care even if you left the paper blank coz if you assume you're the topper, that is exactly what's gonna happen.

If you do get bad marks and I'm gonna be harsh here - You're the only reason why! You're gonna manifest exactly what you assume to be true even if it's good or bad. Your sc mind don't differentiate btw what's good for you or what's bad for you. It only knows what you feed it.

You got this, TRUST ME

Love, Shrads.

[mrsdeliberatecreater]

hi, im sorry for bothering u right now. ive been asking around for advice everywhere because i really need all the help i could use right now. my anxiety is flaring up like crazy because my results come out tomorrow and im so scared because if i mess this up then my future is ruined. my mental health has been horrible and that has severely affected my grades but in most asian countries they dgaf about that and basically think it's nonexistant for minors so ofc i'm still undiagnosed, and if i were to apply to a uni i wouldnt get any good chances anywhere. if i could just get 3 Bs in my AS levels it would be okay or else i'd have to retake it and it's super costly here.. i don't wanna put my family through that because they'll talk me down, degrade me, destroy my self esteem which i've managed to build back a little. they were like this since when i was the topper and thats what made me burnout. undiagnosed adhd, trauma, depression also contributed to it

im applying the law, but instead of the feeling of success that everyone else gets i feel panicked. the 'feeling' people usually get when they're in the wish fulfilled state, the feeling of accepting it and it being real—im not getting that. i dont see a clear picture when i visualize. every time i try to, i end up breaking down and feeling like a failure... but I'm still trying to go on because why is it that the people who hurt me and practically ruined my life get to live successfully, while i suffer? thats not fair... i promised myself that if i could just get 3 Bs, ill turn my life around and work really hard... but is it over for me? i want to win, im trying to, but im scared

im trying my best to visualize myself getting 3 Bs, reenacting my friends faces when i get the results, praying to God and thanking Him for blessing me and continuing to bless me, but there is this fear still lingering at the back of my mind... i feel like I'm not doing it right. i have like one day left and I'm so nervous. im going over posts, tweets, and every time I feel a little better, it all comes crashing down because of doubts. theres only one thing one my mind right now: 'how am I gonna turn it around in one day?' i know that the 3D does not matter and that everything is done in imagination, but here i feel like its not done in imagination either

right now nothings clicking in my head, whatever i read is getting scrambled in my mind, i feel so lost and empty. could u please tell me what to do in this specific situation? u can be as harsh as you want if that's what's needed to get the point across. im really sorry for the bother and id be really grateful if u could please help out, ive never been this desperate before... my life cant be over before it even started

Okay love. I need you to do something for me. Take 3 deeeeep breaths.

Okay?

I understand you completely. I understand what are going through completely. I'm Indian, so I know how it can be. I got yelled at by my sister for thinking that I might have ADHD. 👀 Its all good now though. I also used to deal with debilitating anxiety two years ago.. I barely left my room, let alone go to school for a master's degree that I chose and got into serious debt for.. I'm not making this about me, but I just want you know that change is possible.

Anytime you start to feel bad, a anxiety attack coming on, I want you to just keep taking calming deep breaths and focus on the now. Focus on the things you see, things you can hear, smell, etc. Its the feeling of "now". Come back to the "now" as many times as needed if you feel negative thoughts. I would affirm, "Everything is okay, everything will be okay", pick an affirmation that feels natural to you, and affirm.

If you like subliminals, I would recommend: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zX6BKBzVgfk&t=4s This has stopped so many of my anxiety attacks before I learned to let them go..

If not keep doing the breathing exercises. You will find that by repetition this will eventually release the reasons for feeling anxiety in the first place. Take things one day at a time. If it gets bad, ask someone you trust for help.

We alll have doubts. Doubts are fine. As long as you are just focused on the end/wish fulfilled/affirming, you are fine, even with doubts. You don't need to believe with 100% everything till you burst a blood vessel. If you feel like your doubts are overwhelming you, decide that nothing, not even you can stop your desires from manifesting. <3

"Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you". - Matthew 17:20

If you have the time, I would highly recommend IlluminatingJoy on youtube, especially her https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CT2xyCcoues&t=1727s

She has a really good grasp on manifestation and explains everything so well and accommodates it to fit our "logic", while completely validating human emotions. The exercise she does in this video is so so simple but seriously effective. I catch myself slipping at least once a day that would have spiraled if I hadn't done the exercise.

Also if you want to do this in a day, I want you to focus on your mental diet. Affirm affirm affirm.

If negative thoughts come up, you breathe and think "I can relax, I got all A's". Anything in the 3D reminds you think, "I can relax, I got what I wanted. Your family being mean to you? remember how in class after lunch, your teacher is talking but you're thinking about something else.

Also speaking of that, I know you said you can't your images clearly. That's fine. Visualizing is NOT imagination.

Visualizing is NOT imagination.

Visualizing is NOT imagination.

Visualizing is NOT imagination.

My visualizations are never clear and I manifest everything I imagine all the time. They all have that "vignette" effect lol..

Imagination can be a picture, it can be a smell, a touch, a voice, just how someone's clothes smell when they are standing really close to you like in an elevator. Like you can specifically smell it but you KNOW what I'm talking about right?

Your loved ones in your face? Use it YOUR ADVANTAGE. I used to hear my sister compliment me, it was easy to hear her voice. I primarily used her voice to fix our relationship. Cannot for the life of me picture her face properly but thats FINE.

You can use ANY of the senses, just one or two or all. Hear your family saying things you want in your mind. Hear them congratulating you, compliment you.

You can slowly work this into all the other aspects of your life...

By the way, you aren't lost and empty. You are a very caring person, you want to do things so that you don't let your family down, in spite of how they treat you. That to me is a genuinely caring person.

But you need to apply that same care to yourself. You don't need me to be harsh to you, YOU don't need to be harsh to you. You are working so hard to find answers but you ARE the answer. Its okay. Please just rest. Its all yours. Be more soft to yourself, be more kind to yourself, compliment yourself, you will start to see that kindness reflected in the 3D as well.

I have given you a lot of options here so you can pick and choose what makes YOU feel better so that YOU can focus on SELF because

Nothing to change but self

Reach out to me as many times as you would like, you could never bother me.

Nya 🌺

[le-sserafims-blog]

🌸 Thankfully, I was able to spend my birthday meaningfully, so came here late 😭😭

Once again, thank you so much for congratulating me on my birthday, FEARNOT 🥹🥹🥹🥹🩷

Wow!!!

I'm 26 years old!!!

I've already been an idol for half my life!! 🤔 LOL

Very surprising...

It's amazing... When I first started as an idol, I never imagined what the future brings. I always thought life was unpredictable, but I've been able to continue this far because of the people around me who always support me. I'm so grateful for that :)

When I was young, my birthday was a happy day when I could receive gifts and eat what I liked. It was a day when I felt like the arrow was pointing towards me, so I always eagerly waited for my birthday feeling excited.

After turning 20, I started to feel a bit anxious about birthdays... 😅

Honestly, I felt a little scared that my time as an idol was getting shorter...lol

And recently, especially this birthday, it became a birthday with a slightly different meaning for me.

I realized that birthdays are not only about receiving congratulatory greetings, but also about being able to express gratitude to the people around me.

It's a bit embarrassing, but for the first time in my life (excluding my school days), I wrote letters to each my family members and gave them as gifts for my birthday this year!

I felt grateful knowing that my family was preparing gifts because we could spend my birthday together with them after a long time. I wanted to express my gratitude to them as well.

As I wrote about how grateful I am for giving birth to me and raising me for 26 years, many emotions have overwhelmed me, so I was writing the letters while holding back tears... 😅

And seeing my parents shedding tears while reading the letters that i gave, I felt a mix of emotions.

At a young age, they've been worried endlessly about their daughter entering this world, living far away where she isn't within easy reach, likely feeling lonely... I felt sorry, but still, seeing my parents shedding tears while sincerely supporting my dreams made me think this way.

Latelt, I've actually been feeling that there would come a time when the effort I keep putting in for myself will reach its limit— like the effort, if it's all just for myself, might exhaust me, reaching some sort of emotional limit. But seeing my parents, I started to feel that maybe working hard for someone else could be another way.

If I think that all my efforts are for myself only, I feel like I might lose strength when I detach from that passion, and it would be even harder when results don't come. But when I think about supporting my parents who sincerely cheer me on, and for FEARNOTs who support me as passionately, and for the members and staff who share the same dream, strangely, I feel energized.

These are just my thoughts, but I believe that to be able to continue something for a long time, perhaps this kind of mindset is also necessary :)

I received so much love from many people on my birthday this year. It made me truly happy to realize that there are so many FEARNOTs around the world celebrating my birthday and supporting me.

The online world continues expanding and may not always spread positivity every day, but I'm still grateful for the internet because it allows me to know that there are people who like me and celebrate my birthday. 😊

I remember my mom saying once on my birthday, "I hope you become an idol who, just like your name which holds the meaning "may good things bloom," receive congratulations from many people.' Following my mom's wish, I was able to become an idol who is indeed loved by many people.

I have experienced many failures and I'm learning various things as a person, but I've come to think that I'm happy with who I am now. Everyone has imperfections and areas where they are still immature, but I believe that's how we can continue to grow.

Im still in the process of learning a lot about myself, and every day, I strive to be a better version of myself than I was yesterday, continuing to reflect and improve along the way.

The world may sometimes be noisy with negativity, but I still believe that there are many happy, positive, joyful, and precious things in this world. Despite its flaws, I still find this world beautiful.

It's not all good, but it's not all bad either.

I wish to be the kind of person in your life who brings even a little bit of positivity and goodness. :)

Thank you for celebrating my 26th birthday with me, and please continue to support me in the future as well. ☺️

[yuwumeniji]

Luxiem x Persona

I am thou, Thou art I

A/N: A bullet pointed brainrot of two different fandoms i have rn.... mmmm.... many thoughts, head full ♡ also... when i think im done, i dont look back (no beta we die like men around here lmao) so im very sorry for the sloppiness lmao

EXTRA NOTES:

i'm seriously in love with this artwork and it became my muse lmao || A lot of the references will be more on Persona 5/Persona 5 Royal || Proceed under the cut!

General

Luxiem - a group of misfits turned phantom thieves who have shaken up society!

both shu and ike are third years, while mysta and luca are both second and first years respectively

vox is a student teacher at the same school as the rest of the boys. he is a history / language arts teacher.

the first palace was infiltrated by luca and shu

the last person to join was mysta due to his wariness of the others

they all meet up at vox's apartment since he's the only one out of the five that lived alone.

A people pleaser; despite his good intentions, he has yet to realize that others are just using the goodness of his heart to fulfill their evil tasks.

Codename: Novelist (He wants to overwrite his past failures and see a brighter tomorrow for himself)

What Triggered A Change Of Heart? : tired of being taken advantage of, ike had realized that he has to be able to think for himself - bearing witness to how cut-throat society really is and how fiends would use his kind-heartedness to their advantage, his persona had manifested as the strength needed to stand on his own two feet and his desire to become independent.

What Is His Persona?: A grotesque, hulking ball of tentacles. no one can see the middle of the creature. ike says that it's a reference to his untapped potential (mysta dismisses it as just something mysterious and didn't want to pry)

His Position: the brains of the operation. leave it to ike to help navigate and come up with creative plans to infiltrate palaces

a childish dreamer, blinded by his own ideals and has yet to be tainted by this cruel world.

Codename: Boss (He wanted to become Number. 1; actually based on an inside joke within their group as he is the one who usually lead discussions, thus leading to everyone in Luxiem calling him "Boss" or "The Big Boss")

What Triggered A Change Of Heart? : The realization that his dreams have long been crushed by the doings of a wicked adult. luca knew he was chasing nothing but a dream, yet it was what kept him going until he felt that it was time to face reality. the anger he feels over being stamped out like this and the idea that a new adventure awaits him had manifested as his persona.

What Is His Persona?: a humanoid like being with a lion's mane and strong arms. has the ability to stand on its hind legs. luca has thought about having a weight-lifting contest with his own persona (the others think it's a little absurd fighting himself since a persona is just an extension of oneself)

His Position: the brawn of the operation. being the massive ball of energy he is, leave the fighting to luca. even in dire situations where the team is surrounded by shadows, luca will find a way to break through via sheer will himself. he is also the most physically capable within the group.

A genius who wishes to be recognized past his intelligence.

Codename: Sleuth (He wishes to seek the truth behind the wicked desires of others)

What Triggered A Change Of Heart? : pushed over the edge, mysta had enough of people blindly praising his intelligence as if his other achievements were only due to the fact of his genius-disposition or of other means - he felt as if this was what trapped in his own fame (or infamy), he wanted to live freely. the manifestation of this desire revealed itself as his persona.

What Is His Persona?: a fox like creature that seems cute at first. if anything is known about mysta, it's that appearances are deceiving - despite the cuteness, mysta's persona is quite vicious and has the ability to rip apart even steel with it's teeth. mysta and his persona surprisingly get along well; his persona has the unique sentience about it and often is seen hanging off of his shoulder or hat when they are in the metaverse.

His Position: the escape artist. leave the escape to mysta, he's the only one capable of driving everyone to safety when the palace starts to crumble into nothingness (at least only one able to escape in time, the rest either don't have a license or don't have a sense of how quickly they need to escape - ike was the one who asked mysta if there were speed limits when escaping.)

The one who watches from the shadows, a witness to the everyday injustices.

Codename: Magician (Like a magician, his dexterity and adaptability in many and otherwise dire situations leave others in awe ; yet, he refuses to share how and why he knows such skills)

What Triggered A Change Of Heart? : the more shu bore witness to, the more he grew sick of it. he felt as though a bottomless pit had formed in his stomach as he watches wicked adults take advantage over the weak - and most importantly, how weak he was for hiding behind this fear, even if he had the means of helping others. his desire to see the world where the weak can live amongst the strong without cowering in fear has manifested into his persona.

What Is His Persona?: another humanoid like creature that stands on one leg. it appears to look like a shikigami with a magician's clothes. shu has tried drawing a face on his persona's paper-like face. he's surprised that it stays on sometimes.

His Position: intelligence master. from collecting data of the big bad they must face to finding who needed a change of heart within the depths of mementos, shu has it all covered. no one really knows how he gathers this much information and doesn't really want to know how either (shu says these are basic things you can find online about anyone, but none of the members want to question if he's actually telling the truth or not)

A young adult pressured by society, once an overachiever now weighted by the burden of life after high school.

Codename: Oni (The group named him Oni due to the appearance of his persona. He went along with the name because he couldn't think of a better one, plus he found it endearing how the group of his closest friends gave him the name.)

What Triggered A Change Of Heart? : vox's anger and desire to do more despite the now limited resources and time he has in comparision to an older adult, or a child. despite being an honours student, vox was hit with the sudden reality check that he can no longer do what he was once able to without being compared to others. he didn't like that at all and wanted to change that perspective once and for all.

What Is His Persona?: an oni-like creature that towered over the rest. powerful and all-mighty, yet regal and somewhat refined. vox wants to invite his persona to a tea party one day.

His Position: the guardian angel. despite his mean appearance, vox cares a lot about the members of the team and shines the brightest during desperate situations. he's the hope and the eldest brother of the bunch and he'll do anything to make sure the operation goes as smoothly as possible with little or no injury to the rest of the boys.

[iwilllearntowrite]

I am deeply terrified of being an evil person, unknowingly or without being able to fully face it.

Not just becoming evil, but simply being a fundamentally bad person. That my intentions are wrong and I am actually lying to myself. That I have manipulated myself and everyone around me into believing I am a kind person. That my existence in itself has a bad impact on others because it is inevitable for me to do harm just like any human at some point in their life maybe ? Because its impossible not to ? No, this is me trying to normalize sick behavior actually.

I often feel like I am imposing, like people are simply tolerating me, and when they try to reassure me I feel even worse because what if I manipulated them ? And it leads me to think I am even worse than I could picture. I interpret everything as proof that I am deeply terrible, including my loved ones trying to tell me the opposite, to the point where I am not only lying to myself but manipulating everything and everyone around me so I never have to face the truth. And if at any point I let myself believe my intentions are true and I listen to the side of me that doesn’t align with those thoughts, it feels like I would be loosening my control and enabling my deeper “evil” intentions, letting them slip.

Its like I have a phobia of my own intentions. I’ve been looking into it and everything is leading me to OCD related articles, its a disorder that was brought up to me when I was in therapy and also when I was seeing my psychiatrist but that never really got dug into because ultimately when they asked me a few questions about it I didn’t have clear “rituals” and struggled to keep track with everything in my life… I am putting this in the OCD tag to know if anybody else has had thoughts like these ? If any of what Im saying even makes sense… And if so Im curious if theres somewhere I can read about it ? I dont mean to intrude as I have not been diagnosed, but I feel like this is where I could find people who also struggle with intrusive thoughts as well as maybe something like this ?

There’s a part of me that knows. That recognizes the absurdity. That finds it almost laughable. But still beyond wanting to know wether it is true or not, I want to understand this belief better. Is it my inability to face my failures ? An irrational fear of doing harm ? Of becoming like those who hurt me ? They couldn’t face their abuse so how could I ? I have noticed most people who do harm aren’t aware of it, even the people who abused me through my life were pretty much oblivious. And if they were, what’s stopping me from being as oblivious as they are ? But could it be I’m just afraid I can’t trust myself ? What made me feel like I cant trust myself and when ? Because I almost always have… One thing I’d always been in tune with was my gut. I recognize now I haven’t been able to trust my own thoughts and memories since I was gaslit by my ex through last summer. Maybe there’s a correlation.

I really want to be careful, though, with the terms I am using. I am so sorry if what I have said seems offensive or hyperbolic, I tried not to write mindfully but I understand it could be beyond me and something only others will see. I am open to feedback and discussion and sincerely hope I didn’t trigger anyone with my words.

[niredsw]

so uhhh im bored af and i feel like i should make people know about this not that i think anyone cares about my life but here ya go rin lore everyone!

TW: mention of abuse, rape, and a lot of religious trauma

i apologize for the spelling mistakes from the start, i wont care about them rn

so yeah, lets start with my parents

mom: she grew up in a toxic abusive religious household where my grandpa was rarely home, she was the middle child of 4 siblings (the smallest ones are twins) and was literally the 'only good child of the pack'. my big aunt cant even take care of herself and she has 2 chlidren, she recently divorced her husband and is on the way of becoming an alcoholic. my uncle was praised by my grandma his entire life because he is 'the only son' and is nothing but a spoiled brat whos children are also problematic af. my little aunt is the only one i love and she has a daughter (deniz, my fav cousin) and an adopted daughter from her husbands ex-marriage, shes sweet and i dont believe how she survived in that family.

grandma, shes the worst. one day mom and her sibling were all in my big aunts house and i was sitting with them, they talked about how grandma beat them up daily because of the smallest things, the clothes she hang up to dry didnt dry on time? she beat up one of her kids (not my uncle, if i may add) i was terrified when i heard that about her and im not seeing her the same anymore. mom got married at 21 just to escape from that house and she ended up being the only child thats living in the same city as grandma. grandma also manipulated me my whole childhood, telling me i should be a good muslim and get hijabed at 12 when i first got my period, teaching me things most muslim people didnt even know their whole life when i was only 7, telling me men are always right and i should just obey what they say yada yada ya, she still treats me like her personal servant and keeps telling thing like "you look like a whore in that shorts" and shit, idc anymore but growing up with it is not very helpful tbh

so, mom beating me up when shes angry is not because shes abusive, its the only way she learned and shes not strong enough to break the cycle, so dont get angry at her its not her fault

dad: tbh i dont know if dad had gone throught anything like mom but his family is full of relative marriages and his uncle (whos 64) has a child as my age, she went to a mental asylum because of her father and just got out a few days ago, if i may add, his uncles suck but my grandma is the only normal one (and the only, oldest girl) among 5 siblings so i think thats pretty lucky, but growing up in a neighbourhood full of those kind of people definitely affected him and it shows over the years

yea well now its my time i guess

i was a bad child. i did some bad things. i swear i did it all for fun and it meant nothing

OKAY sorry sorry this is not it im not jojo siwa in a disguise (or i am?)

so, i had a pretty good childhood, if you ignore all of these things;

my family went in a hella dept because of my uncle (i told you hes a piece of shit) and we were always very careful with money, my parents tried to make it up to me and my sis with a lot of things but it did affected us

i dont know how we ended up in that debt but we sold our house and coffe shop so we could pay it, i was 8 when it all happened and i dont really remember most of it

my voice thingy and all of those health problems, i lose my hearing from time to time, have a genetical heart disease thingy, yada yada ya i am not gonna list all of them, lets just say after i was 6 i knew everyone in that hospital i was going practically 3 times a week

also i was the top student in primary school, the first one to learn how to read in my class and was practically a gifted child before i burn out but i dont care about that shit anymore im already a pretty big failure

then, we moved to my current city

4th grade was shit, my teacher didnt even care about her students, it was so easy to eb the top of my class but that school was really shitty, a pedophile teacher, who tried to rape and would do if i didnt kick his balls, a psycho kid in my sis's class that was sent to kids jail in 2nd grade, basically, shithole.

then i won a scholarship from my current school and i've been there for 5 years now, gonna start my 2nd year of highschool in a few weeks

i dont talk about middle school because that shit was crazy but also pretty boring at the same time, so yeah i think thats the rin lore? idk? nobody needs to amswer or say anything i just wanted to share it here so i dont have to explain it every time something bad happens to me

[reddrakebird]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN!

Fill in this form to let your RP partners know your preferences in terms of writing. Knowing your partners better makes figuring out the kind of interaction you can have with each other easier! Repost, don't reblog.

name: Sev

preference of communication: tumblr ims, inbox, I am selective on who gets my discord. 

name of muse(s): Timothy Drake

best experience: Getting asked and venturing into trying a new muse was an honor. I had seen Tim being played by a few others and admired him from afar, but I have always been more drawn to darker muses, so this was a bit of a challenge for me since I did not know a lot about him when I started out. Everyone was patient. @prettysuper has been there to support me when I felt I was not grasping him well, and we ended up creating a pretty amazing story of our own that I just adore and am always excited to explore <3. The community is pretty awesome and I am so grateful for them accepting a newb like me to tumblr play! Dash games when everyone gets into it is the best thing I have ever seen here.

rp pet peeves/deal breakers: Ignoring my character unless it was talked about as part of the dynamic. If my character took the time to address yours so they could invest in the conversation and there is no response back, it irks me as a writer who also took the time to think about that post and how to insert them into the scene. I do not have many deal breakers, but I am not a fan of someone assuming that my character is a sure way purely by Comics. I get it, this is a character that is not an original and was established, but the point of us being here is to write our own versions where DC has numerously fucked up stories for their own cowardness. Ask, I love answering. Or simply interact and learn! 

fluff, angst, or smut: All, fucking BONUS if you can mingle all three into a scene -sips tea- I am a heavy investor in realism when it comes to playing, and shit gets messy in real life; it should in rp too. Fluff should have some interruptions, angst should have a teary smile or ignorance, smut should have failure to actually have sex after trying or a good time turning sad because of a trigger or insecurity. Real people go through this, so should characters. It really adds layers to them that start to make a uniqueness. 

plots or memes: memes. I love plots, but sometimes I am a bit burned out. Memes are something I always enjoy and throw around on Dash!

long or short replies: Long are favored. I enjoy having a lot to work with and do not mind the rambling of another writer so long as it is viable things and not bullshit for the sake of length. Short are great for days when our brains go ‘wut’ but we want interaction or a distraction. It was really hard to come to Tumblr from an RPG form where people wrote seven paragraphs to see people doing one-liners here. I am used to it now, even do it myself but it was def an adjustment!

best time to write: Any. Seriously, I am always around. Now my favorite time to write is at 2am when everyone in the house is quiet, I can put my headphones on and turn the music up loud as hell to just vanish into the scene. 

are you like your muse: HAHAHA no. Absolutely not. Well, we share Autism aspects, but this version ended up sensitive and sad in a way due to putting the background of therapy heavily on him. My characters have a funny way of taking the wheel and developing themselves after I give them snippets of myself to have a connection so I can move them around. Tim is nothing like me. HOWEVER, his boyfriend, Kon, is a good deal like me. Shameless, loud, no fucks to give, protective. So it is hella wild to try and play a character who dates someone with a lot of similar traits like myself. (I am so sorry to all my exs but you all knew what you were getting into)

Tagged:  @1mpulsee

Tagging: any!!

[severevoiddragon]

D&D Story Time!

I run a D&D club for 12 11-15 year old boys. It's during term time (so nothing during holidays), but due to multiple factors I can't run it this half term, so a couple weeks ago was the last session for a good 3 months.

The party is currently in 3 groups, due to it's size. We have the 13-15 year olds (plus 2x 11yos) in one group, who are. amazing at the game. They know the rules, they are great at action economy. Im having to heighten the challenge for the monsters because otherwise they'll be lvl20 no probs. This group will be called the Mephits.

The other 2 groups are 3x 11yos, who I will dub The Hobgoblins, and 2x 11yos, who I will dub The Goblins. (These names are based on what monsters they were, or had been fighting) In the last session of the term, one of the Goblins was not able to come, so we just had one boy fighting 3 goblins. He was rolling so high that he was winning. Wow. I'm impressed. The Hobgoblins, however, could not even get a hit in.

And then, it happened. A failed roll and one of the Hobgoblins was unconscious. This wasn't the first character death at this table, though that one was from PvP. A story for another time. We will call this player A. Now, A was very eager and I had no idea if he would break down if his character died. This was his first adventure in D&D. So, he was rolling death saves for the rest of the day. The first roll. A fail. Oh no.

The Mephits, who were working out a puzzle, were trying to decide if they wanted to run and heal the Hobgoblins, since they were low, but the Mephits decided to keep going with their puzzle. They were too far away anyway.

Round 2 of death saves approaches. A success. I breathe a sigh of relief, but we're not out of the woods yet. I am not trained to deal with crying children. The Goblin is still winning against his goblins, I'm very proud of him. The other two Hobgoblins still fail to get any hits in. The Mephits continue with their puzzle.

Round 3. A fail. "EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!" A shouts, an exact mimic of the meme. I am getting worried. The Goblin continues to beat the goblins, and there is now one goblin left. One of the Hobgoblins gets hit. He goes down to 0. This was the same player who has had his character die before. I will call him B. I am getting very tense and trying to work out if there is anything I can do behind the scenes. There is not. The Mephits are now severely debating going to the others. Since they are in the other part of the dungeon, it would take at least 2 turns to sprint to the other side. One of the Mephits goes. He spends the next 2 rounds sprinting.

Round 4. The whole table is waiting. A success from A! A has 2 successes, and 2 failures. It is up to Round 5 to decide whether he shall live or die. B fails his save. At this point, while most of the Mephits are still doing their puzzle, the last Hobgoblin is still fighting, the Goblin is still fighting too, everyone is waiting to see if A and B will live or die.

Round 5. A rolls his die. We all watch. "ITS A NAT 20!" A yells. Everyone cheers. We have run out of time for the session, and must continue in September. I breathe a sigh of relief.

B asks if he can speed run his rolls. I allow it.

A success. Good.

And... A nat 1.

I feel so sorry for him, but he seems ok. "I get to make a new character sheet again, yayy" B says. He looks happy still. He now has all summer to think about his new character.

Idk what the point of this story is, but I felt the need to share the thrilling end to my D&D Club.

[iminthetunnels]

i know we are all struggling, i wish i could help. i hate to add another post but if u know me, you know my name is isabella, i have a one year old son who will be 2 in may. right now, we are going thru complications, seeing an oncologist, neurologist, and optometrist. i live hour+ away in a rural town from my hospital (we are in the south) my car is a piece of shit. the clutch is so hard some times it stalls.

right now, i have no support. no family that can help me. if you’ve been following me you know i only have my mother, and i help my mother. it’s all weighing down on me extremely hard. i am a single mother, doing this literally all by myself. with $3 in my bank account. the father of my child is in another state, very abusive, and very scary. i also have to apply for disability for my son and his condition, but i need a proper diagnosis, and we have no idea what’s happening right now.

i’m not forcing anyone, and never feel obligated, just really need help in these trying times. i’m so sorry to ask for help, i’m sorry i’m a single mother, im sorry it may seem like im a failure, maybe i am. but i still feel like i need to be confident and ask for help when we really need it. we still haven’t gotten on our feet, but there are better days ahead. i hope everyone has a blessed day and take care. thank u for reading and reaching out. the whole reason i survived after my son was born, was from donations and support from everyone on tumblr. as crazy as that sounds. i’ve had this blog since 2010 or 2011 i can’t remember. i’ve grown with some of y’all. so u guys know how hard of a struggle and difficult of a time period this is for me. i want to do better for my son and myself…. i feel like good things are on the horizon. we just need a little help.

god bless

paypal, cashapp, are $imintexas, @imintexas

and my venmo is my full name

[ask-st-ccchoir]

Subcollective fear, hm? I can work with that.

Ocean, you are so very afraid of failure. How would you feel if I told you that you failed to change anyone? Not your parents, not your friend. You have not changed the world, your existence has done nothing. You have failed yourself. You have failed at everything you ever tried to achieve.

Noel, you are afraid of being ignored. Then again, you are like so many people. You blend in so naturally with the normal world, you are so very average. You are always ignored. Nothing interesting about you. Everyone fantasises, and you are not special in any way.

Mischa, you, are afraid of abandonment. How would you feel if I were to tell you that Talia has moved on. That your adoptive parents do not care. Your channel is already forgotten, and anyone who cared for you has moved on.

Ricky, you would hate being stared at. You are perceived, you are looked at with pity. Everyone knows what you do, what you write. You are the centre of attention, forever being stared at with all the same pity, with the envy and with the want for you to be gone so that they will be pitied. You are so known by everyone. They still repeat your name to this day. "Poor Richard Potts"

Constance, you fear being hates. But your little brother hates you for dying, the people of Uranium hate you for leaving, for not helping anymore. They all despise you for how nice you were, how much help you gave them. They absolutely hate your guts for ever existing among them. They hate your life and they hate your death. You will be hated for as long as you are remembered.

Jane, you are everything and nothing at once. How would you feel that you are remembered, but forgotten? Not etched into memories as the person you once were, but rather what you are now. A being not entirely human, even if your body was. Always being remembered as Jane Doe. Not forgotten, not remembered.

Karnak, you are so very afraid of death. Truly humorous for a machien that sees nothing but humanities mortality. You have not truly experienced it. Being fixed by a being that does not work with wiring. That does not comprehend electricity. You do not want to move on from the warehouse, for you are so very afraid for what is after it, that you keep yourself and everyone else here. You have seen death once. Never again.

🌊n-no. I didn't fail myself.. I never did! I changed something about the world..my school at least.. I hope.

🌹i dont have a fear of being ignored. Never did.. I.. Dont blend it.. I dont. Mom tells me im special- i am.. In my way..

💵talia hasnt moved on yet.. Hopefully.. Its too fast. People will know me by- by badegg. Its not forgotten yet, is it..

🌌indifference is what i fear- pity. Those pitiful looks are what i fear from their eyes.. you ARE subcollective fear, huh.?

🍬n-no! No! They dont hate me! They- they dont.. My brothers love me more than anything, they just- they dont hate me.. No one hates me.. You're just lying.

🐑well, at least im known in someway or another ..

🔮 i don't have a fear, for i am a machine. I've always known when and how my death was. Yet, the unknown is just pit of darkness swallowing people one by one is what i fear slightly.

//HEHHE GIGGLES SORRY IF THEY SUCK 💔💔//

[cringelordofchaos]

You asked Berry this so I am asking YOU out of spite for not asking ME

YOUR SONIC HEADCANONS??

IFHASHFKAJHVKAHDKC

uhmm ill be my own attorney in the court; in my defense, your honour, i saw berry reblog a post specifically about sonic sexuality headcanons and berry shared their hcs in the tags but also put in the tags abt how their 'headcanons may change'. and i wanted to see if their headcanons changed so i asked them

ANYWAY

uhh these r all pretty much identity + nd hcs so sorry if u were lookin for more

(edit:wait actually im gonna sort this into two parts:: queer + nd headcanons and then like. backstory and personality hcs)

SONIC: adhd, used to hc him as bi ace but fuck it hes romance repulsed oriented aroace, also me likes the idea of him being genderqueer in some way, moreso specifically either transmasc nonbiney or transmasc trigender. also adhd (side note i heard someone sayhe couldnt possibly have adhd cuz "he can focus on missions" and. wjhat.) also maybe ptsd from thecountless traumatic experiences hess had to endure

AMY: sappho. i have also adhd'ed her in the past but im not so sure npw. i also saw someone hc her as bipolar and thas valid

TAILS: i know he can definitely represent as an autistic stereotypce but look at him :(( (but i genuinely think his backstory is sort of a metaphor for the nd experience. and also i think theres a lot of things that may make him autistic codedthough albeit many of them r stereotypical). special interest in engineering

KNUCKLES: bisexual as ffffff, though he doesnt give a shi abt labels

and ofc STTICKS:: demirose lesbiian. . also female but she rlly doesnt care abt gender. also autistci mayhaps

now for the more interesting hcs:

SONIC: something traumatic happened to him that made him scared of water in the first place, thas for sure methinks. he also just doesnt really show his negative emotions and he moreso just tries to 'dealw it' instead. i have headcanoned this for years as many others have and it appears to be somewhat canon in frontiers which is pretty great. he plays the electric guitar and is a pretty skilled singer and yeah. chilli dawgs r his comfort food....... loves rock electric and heavy metal and sometimes listens to it on his runs. pretty comfortable w being independent . also this is not a headcanon but i dont think his idw iteration is that out of character. he sees pretty much everyone (rivals and frenemiesalike) as friendos

AMY: has some form of abandonment issues which is what makes her as clingy as she is. generally used to feel left out and misunderstood from sonic n others in games like adventure and adventure2 but their relationshipsget better. listen. listen i heard someone on tumblr hc amy having abandonment issues and it hasnt left my miind since. she used to feel embarrassed by herself and her personality but became much more expressive of herself as time went on bc she starrted feeling more accepted. DEFINITELY writes fanfiction and fancomics and draws fanart and likes theatre(this is canoon actually). has meetings w the girlsTM where she just reads their fortune n everything. she also said in one game that she aspires to BE LIKE sonic and i have hcs abt that as well. can b mischievious and sneaky. has a tarot card reading BUSINESS this girl earns money for this !! shes very magiical girl bc she can pull her hammer out there, tell the future, turn invisible, has a 'sonic snese' but this is not a headcanon this is canon. plays the violin. loves to create fun outfits. into knitting and crocheting. . yeah i have more

TAILS: he can get pretty insecure of himself at times, heholds high expactations of himself and feels like if he doesnt meet them he might as well be a failure. ooopslol. he also hates when ppl misinterperets who he is as a person and when they undermine how skilled he is. he sometimes doesnt really let others know how he feels and hides it w a positive attitude. his gizmo is his comfort item. sonic was his first friend. the reason why he acted cocky in lost world and constantly pointed out how they shouldnt trust eggman (although it was super ooc) is bc of how insecure he was and he felt like sonic didnt trust himenough. and he feels bad abt it. hm. he also likes to draw sometimes and is generally skilled and precise, partly bc he has to draw blueprints for his creeations. one of them orphans. wags his tails/unintentionally starts flying when hes excited (stimming woag). hes not really SCARED of thunderstorms but they ARE a sensory nightmare for hiim (loud, bright/0). sonic sort of 'taught him how to make friends'. he still has cosmo in the form of a plant inside his house. he has many bunkers/ Sometimes he has a hard time accepting help (inherited from his older brotherlol). his tails are an nd allegoryOK ILL SHUT UP NOW

KNUCLES: icoud rambllea lot about him whenever im in the mood especially when i seeppl misinterperet him but i dont really have much HEADcanons bc everything i say abt him is canon

STICKS: ok this is gonna sound wild and its definitely not original but. she has abandonment/truusst issues relatedto her former parents that have something to do w the government which is one of the reasons she became so hateful of th egovenrment. dont ask (actually do if you want to). generally feels free to be herself but there are times when she feels ashamed of her wild side ig you couldcall it. very creative.

the reason why theres not shadow even though hes one of the more popular ones is bc im just not obsessed w him at the moment sorry :(

I HAVE MORE but these are all FOR NOW

now YOU TELL ME YOUR SONIC HEADCANONS SO I DONT LOOK AS DELUSIONAL [[POINTS FINGER AT YOU]]

[magical-glimpse]

I want to add to the conversation..

Dark night of the soul is a different exp and depression or mental health issues are different..

Mental health issues trigger from many reasons but a lot have to do with the personal shame and guilt and the failure we see ourself as, it's like we are the opposite of what we ought to be and the soul sort of realises and wants to escape and it's such severe that it causes one to take extreme steps, it's like there is no choice to live, it eats one...

Whereas dark night of the soul is a period where in that no choice to live period, you at last believe in living, see light afar but you have to shed this old self, you have to console the soul within that it can live in love, you can finally figure out as to what actually matters...

Clarifyinv on tf hate thing in said... Mmmm yes I agree with you, may be I failed in properly conveying what I meant and I'm sorry for that, but "hate" Esp when you exp enlightenment or awakening is a trigger, to understand and be empathetic about what is causing that hate and to you know develop perspectives and develop empathy...

Triggers hold a lot of meaning in the journey and all to help us shed our ego self...

Again even when the hate is triggering, you try to work on it for that person instead of just going on hating... That is what I meant.. You are willing to work on it, change it, grow it, that's what leads to healing...

Again, this is what I know a little off, not necessary that I am totally right and sharing just of my experience... I'm sorry if I felt a bit biased or wrong, but lovely to have such conversation..

I mean i dont think it is so easy to explain the origins of metnal illness.There is still so much we dont understand, and things such as trauma, genetics, biology, biochemistry, the environment you grew up in can be so correlated to it.

Also about the hate thing,honestly everyone has a different journey. If you end up hating someone who repeatedly hurt you and who happens to have a soul connection to you, I would find it pretty normal and expected lol. Im not a "Only love and light" spiritual person. Life is hard. Sometimes people are awful, and you dont owe them forgiveness or understand to grow yourself. Letting go of anger has a timing, its only one step pf healing, and it might come at different moments. I dont think this is whatvwe should push people to do first.

I know i kinda changed topic here but i see a lot of people who seem to think that anger is always wrong etc, or that you should never hate anyone once you are enlightened but i personally think its kinda bs lol.

[fictionkinfessions]

hi hi gonna yell about source for a minute bc i got new content and im losing my mind.

what do you mean my boyfriend’s maker is setting both of us up for failure? what do you mean he’s probably planning our demise? what do you mean???? pepaw william, im coming to your house and i am going to lecture you so hard. you old ass motherfucker.

idk this whole monarchal summit thing has me so worried. im getting the same feelings i got for the e&e games. im so worried something bad is gonna happen. because with how things are playing out, there’s no way this isnt planned.

1.) william “double booked” himself. william doesnt do that. and he especially wouldnt choose work over clan shit ? its a pretty shitty excuse to just have vincent cover literally everything.

2.) the entire shaw pack is gonna be there. there’s tons of old ass vampiric monarchs showing up, who are all SO SO SO bigoted towards shifters

3.) alexis is gonna be there. me and alexis have to attend the same party and not rip each other to pieces. hell, the first and only time i ever met her, i was so pissed off that i lit up all of wonderworld.

4.) porter? the dude that literally almost killed vince? the one who fucked up so heavily that william kicked him out of wonderworld? out of the clan? what do you mean he’s back in town? AND HE MIGHT BE ATTENDING THE SUMMIT?

sorry this whole thing is gonna be a disaster. hoping someone doesnt die like they did at the e&e games. pissed off at william for putting all of this on vincent’s shoulders. there’s no way that fucker isnt planning something. it almost has me worried that something’s wrong with him and this is some kind of “test” to prepare everyone for him to pass the crown onto vince… i really hope that’s not the case.

- Lovely (#⚡️🩸 #redactedaudiokin)

frog