#neganxoc fanfiction

[trashcanband4]

Therapy Sessions Ch. 4

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Pairing: Negan x oc (Kelly). Setting: The sanctuary. Warnings: ooc Negan. Word Count: 6,525

When Negan came back to her the next morning, instead of finding her awake and done with breakfast like usual, he found her still in bed. The covers were pulled up over her head to shade her face from the light coming in through the windows. He wanted to jerk the covers down and jolt her awake, but decided against it and sat down on the side of the bed and rubbed her shoulder. Kelly just grunted and turned away from him. “Come on, darlin’, time to get up. I didn’t bring you breakfast for it to go to waste.”

Kelly sighed and turned onto her back as she pushed the blanket down and glared at him. “Why do I find your voice so grating?” she asked, her voice raspy with sleep.

“You can get out of bed willingly or I can make you.” he told her with a smirk. She just rolled her eyes and turned away from him. So, he wrapped his arms around her and threw her over his shoulder, stood up then sat her on her feet and tossed the blanket back on the bed.

“Seriously?” she asked as she pushed her brown waves out of her face. “What does a girl have to do to be allowed to sleep in around here?”

"Be deathly ill, which you are not." Negan answered then pointed to the plate of food. "Eat."

"Sir, yes, Sir." She sighed sarcastically and sat down at the table eating her breakfast.

"I have to go." Negan told her as he walked over to the door and grabbed Lucille. "Don't go back to sleep."

"No promises." She mumbled around a bite of scrambled egg.

"Exercise. It releases endorphins and will help you feel better." He advised and she shot a look up at him through her lashes. He tossed Lucille over his shoulder then left the room.

She was sitting at the table drumming her fingers on it in boredom when Negan walked in and propped Lucille up by the door then plopped down in the dining chair across from her. "Hard day?"

"Long day." He corrected. "Have you had dinner?" He asked and she nodded yes.

"Good. So have I and I'm ready for bed." He stood up and started taking off his jacket.

"I know you're tired," Kelly started and Negan looked at her out of the corners of his eyes, "but sleeping in pants has been really uncomfortable. Is there any way I can get a pair of sleep shorts or something?"

Negan walked over to his dresser, grabbed a pair of soft cotton navy blue boxers, made sure there was a button on the crotch then opened up another drawer and grabbed a long sleeved white shirt. "Will these work for now?" He asked as he handed them to her.

"I didn't mean you had to solve the problem tonight." She told him as she walked over and took them from him. "But yes, they will, thank you."

She expected him to turn his back, but instead he just raised a brow with a cheeky smile. Not breaking eye contact with him she pulled the white long sleeved shirt over her head and pulled it down, took her arms out of the sleeves of the shirt she was already wearing and pushed it up around her neck then put her arms through the long sleeves of the exterior shirt. Impressed, Negan watched her grab the underlying shirt that was bunched up around her neck, pull it over her head and toss it into the dirty clothes hamper in the corner.

Since Negan was bigger than her his shirt was like a dress on her so she was easily able to slip off her pants and replace them with the boxer shorts without showing anything. "Touche."

After he slid in beside her under his own covers minutes of silence passed, both of them knowing that the other wasn't asleep. “So tell me about you and Markus. You said things got really ugly between the two of you?” Negan struck up a conversation.

“Yeah, after we lost our daughter.” She answered.

“Darcy?” he asked.

She nodded then remembered that he couldn’t see her in the dark room. “Yeah, after we lost Darcy we really started drifting apart. We didn’t talk about stuff. He refused to talk about Darcy. We’d sleep in the same bed, but it was like we were miles and miles away from each other. I was grieving, we both were, but we couldn’t do it together, he wouldn’t let us do it together. So…I…turned to someone else for comfort.”

“Daryl.” Negan added quietly, making her brows draw together.

“How’d you know?” she asked, looking at him, only seeing the outline of him in the dark.

“Pieces weren’t hard to put together. Plus I noticed that Markus seems to hold a personal grudge against Daryl.” He answered. “Did you fuck him?”

“No.” Kelly answered and turned her eyes to the black ceiling. “Daryl was just there for me when I needed him. He and I were sitting on the porch swing. I was crying and Daryl hugged me and wiped my tears.”

“Aww.” Negan cooed.

“Yeah well, Markus saw us through the window of our house across the street and assumed we were kissing.” She said with a bit of anger in her words. “Even though I told him a thousand times that we weren’t making out, still suddenly I became a whore, a slut, a cheating cunt… So when he yelled these things at me so much that I finally snapped and threw a snow globe at his head I became a psycho bitch. From then on out it was his favorite thing to call me. After that the bitterness grew. He started making up things that didn’t even happen, like I wasn’t at the house with Darcy because I was off screwing Daryl. Or I didn’t give a shit about Darcy all I cared about was Daryl. Everything got blamed on me and Daryl when nothing ever even happened between us.”

“Well, all of that makes sense. Markus was pretty mad at the world when he ended up here. But he calmed down when-”

“I don’t care.” She interrupted him. “I don’t care who he is now, what he does for you or even if he’s found someone else."

“Okay, understood.” His gravelly voice whispered. “Goodnight, Dead Girl.”

“Goodnight, Negan.” She whispered back and soon, both of them slipped off to sleep.

The next morning as she slowly woke up she started to realize that something was different. Scent was the first sense to awaken and the masculine fragrance of sandalwood and cinnamon invaded her nose. Her half asleep brain thought that maybe Negan had lit a candle before he left. But then her sense of touch woke and she realized that a heavy arm was thrown over her waist and a warm body was pressed into her back. That's when her ears joined the party and the quiet soothing snores she recognized as Negan's hit her. As she opened her eyes she saw that her blanket was gone and she lay under Negan’s.

"How the hell did this happen?" She thought to herself. "Why is he still here?" She thought and when she tried to slide out from under his arm it just gripped her tighter. So she decided that the best thing to do was to just try to go back to sleep. That way if she did fall asleep it would be Negan’s move, not hers.

She didn’t go back to sleep and instead laid there hoping with everything in her that Negan would wake up soon and let go of her. His warm hand was pressed into her flat stomach and she tried to not even think about the long hardness that was pressed into her rear. She couldn’t decide if she loved or hated the intense sensations his touch, even over her clothes, was sending through her body.

Finally, Negan’s breathing started to change and she felt his body reacting to their position as he woke up. First his arm tightened around her then the hardness grew harder making her squeeze her eyes shut and bite her lip to keep from having an audible reaction. Soon his hand on her shirt covered stomach slid up between her breasts then down to rest on her arm. Warm breath skimmed her neck as he brushed his nose along the soft skin. She had been hoping he would move away when he realized how they had been sleeping, but he was doing the opposite.

No doubt he was trying to get a rise out of her, but instead of giving him what he wanted, what she so badly wanted to give in to, she simply took in a deep breath as one would do when bothered in their sleep and rolled over to lie on her stomach. She was surprised when he actually let her and even further so when he brushed her sleep mussed hair out of her face, slipped the backs of his fingers down her cheek then rested his fingers on her neck as he caressed her cheek with his thumb.

Unable to resist, a content sigh left her nose as her eyes opened, instantly finding Negan's hazels that seemed to be taking in every feature and detail of her face. When they met hers he gave her a sleepy version of his signature dimpled smirk and a small sleepy smile flashed so quickly on her lips he almost missed it. "Was that a smile, Dead Girl?" His voice was normally a little on the gravelly side, first thing in the morning it was even more so and it only added to the sensations his touch was sending through her. In response she simply looked down at his hand on her face then back up at his eyes, giving him a little squint of hers that almost dared him to do more.

Not one to turn down a challenge, but at the same time not wanting to push her too far, Negan simply slid his hand down her neck, over her shoulder, down her arm to grip her hip before slipping his hand under the shirt to grip the curve of her waist and pull her closer. Now, with just inches between them, she could smell the warm spicy scent of him again. It, combined with the feel of his hand caressing the bare skin of her back, had her light headed, as if she'd drunk just enough alcohol to get buzzed.

Her hand took on a mind of its own as she lifted it and placed it on his chest, slipping her fingers through his chest hair. Testing and tempting her, he brushed her nose with his, drawing her eyes from his chest back up to his. She didn't pull away. So slowly, giving her all the time in the world to pull back and say no, he moved his lips closer and closer to hers. Their lips had just barely brushed when a pounding came from the other side of the bedroom door. The unexpected sound made her jump and pull away from him.

Negan growled as he took his hand off of her, threw the covers to the side, stood up then padded over to the door. "What the fucking fuck are you banging on my door for?" Negan practically yelled at whoever was on the other side.

"Its 11 o'clock and no one has seen you. We were worried that your psycho hostage had murdered you in your sleep." She recognized Markus's voice right off the bat.

Hearing him call her a psycho she snapped. With more speed than she used in a long time she hopped out of bed and stomped over to the door. Seeing the fury in her eyes Negan stepped out of the way. Half a second later the back of her hand collided with the side of Marcus's right cheek so hard he fell, catching himself with the door frame to stay on his feet.

Negan looked between them with raised brows, eagerly waiting to find out what Markus was going to say to his ex-wife. "K-Kelly?" He asked, blinking at her in confusion as she glared up at him. "You're the psy-"

"Call me a psycho one more time and I swear to fucking christ I’ll break your fucking neck and never think twice about it." She warned.

Marcus looked to Negan. "Boss, you gonna let her talk to me like that?"

"Yeah." Negan answered with a smile.. "Because after all the shit she's told me you'll be fucking lucky if you only get the iron." Negan said coldly as he placed his hand on Kelly’s stomach and pushed her back as he moved to stand in front of her. Markus’s eyes got big as he looked at Kelly where she stood off to the side of Negan. “You want to know what I learned last night?” Negan asked and Markus turned his big blue eyes to Negan as he shook his head no. “That you failed to tell me that Alexandria existed. A secret that cost me a whole fucking outpost of people!" Even Kelly flinched at Negan’s raised voice. Negan look at the second man standing behind Markus that Kelly hadn't even realized was there, "Get him out of my fucking sight before I fucking gut him right here and now."

Markus made a fast retreat and Negan slammed the door. Kelly didn’t look at him, knowing she probably made things harder for Negan. Because of her Markus was going to get the iron, whatever that meant, and Negan was going to lose the trust in one of his men.

When Kelly didn’t say anything, Negan turned to her. His anger hardened face softened as he looked into her eyes. "Well, this has been an eventful morning." He sighed and sat down on the foot of the bed.

Kelly ignored his statement and moved to her side of the bed where she grabbed her covers off of the floor. As she folded it she took in his bare torso and the tattoos and freckles that peppered his skin. "What's the iron?"

"You'll see." He answered as he glanced over at her, catching the way she was observing him. He didn’t say anything, just smirked at her.

“So you’re letting me out of this room?” she asked not getting her hopes up, she might have misunderstood him.

“Those fuck me eyes you keep giving me and the pure rage I saw right before you slapped Markus was enough to earn you the privilege of seeing the show later." He wasn't going to mention that if she showed any emotion later it would earn her even more. She watched as he pulled on a white long sleeved shirt like the one she still wore then turned her back as he switched his pajama pants for a pair of dark pants and a belt. "I want you to get dressed, fix your hair and put on some of that makeup I brought you." He told her as he shrugged on his jacket.

She nodded at him as he walked out of the door. With him gone she got dressed then tidied up the room. She was putting his clothes she’d borrowed in a basket when a man walked in with a tray of apple and orange slices and a neatly folded stack of clothes. "Negan requests you wear these today." He told her and she watched silently as he sat the tray and a stack of clothes on the table then walked out. So she grabbed a piece of fruit and popped it in her mouth as she sat down and pulled the notebook and pen out of the bag that Negan had given her.

“Dear Diary,” she started, then stopped to pop another piece of fruit in her mouth. “I thought I liked it here at the sanctuary. For some reason Negan is treating me better than everyone else, and I like it, but last night I learned that Markus has been here the whole time he’s been gone from Alexandria. I liked it here because I had no ties to anyone other than Daryl who’s being held in a cell away from everyone. Now things are getting complicated. I’m starting to feel again. For the first time since Markus walked out I don’t feel numb. All I feel is hatred for him. The man I once loved more than anything else in the world, I now hate more than the walkers that plague the world.” She paused to eat a little more then picked the pen back up and skipped a line. “Then there’s Negan. I’ve thought he was attractive from the get go, but now I can’t stop looking at him and sometimes, all I want to do is jump his bones. I shouldn’t want him… He murdered Glenn and Abraham in cold blood. Strangely I get why he did it. We murdered a whole slew of his people and he only took two of ours. He probably would’ve only killed Abraham if Daryl hadn’t punched him. I don’t blame Daryl, he was just reacting to what was going on around him and he didn’t know that it would cause Negan to murder Glenn. I can see why Negan runs things the way he does. People can be stupid and fear is the only thing that can get through to some of them. Fear is the only thing that can control people.”

She skipped a line then continued writing. “Negan, for some reason, has decided to help me, I didn’t think it would work, I didn’t think I could care about anything ever again. But he is slowly breaking down my walls and I don’t know what to do. How do I let him help me and not fall for him? He has wives for god’s sake. He is a leader and a dangerous one at that. Getting even more involved with him could be dangerous for not only myself but the others back at Alexandria. I thought I didn’t care about them, but I do. I don’t want anyone to die, but Rick isn’t going to just go with how Negan runs things and he will get people killed.” She signed off on the entry and closed the book.

After finishing breakfast she braided her hair into two French braids that hung on each side of her shoulders then smudged on some eyeliner, coated her lashes in mascara then added a touch of the tinted lip balm. She had dressed in the new clothes and was putting away her things when Negan walked in. He gave her an appraising gaze taking in the black pencil skirt, black wedge heels, and red, sheer lace long sleeved shirt that she wore over a black camisole. The smirk he gave her caused a blush to color her cheeks as she placed her hand on her opposite arm self-consciously. He shut the door and closed the space between them and looked down at her with lust veiled eyes. She noticed them slip down to her soft lips, taking in the tiny glitter in the glossy balm. "That lip gloss have a flavor?" he asked, his voice quiet and gravelly.

She licked her lips making him bite his bottom one. "Vanilla."

"Good to know." He told her then backed up and opened the door. "You ready to get out of this room for a little while?"

She nodded and walked over to him where he motioned for her to walk ahead of him. So she did then let him lead her to a big room where they both stood on a platform above the people. After banging Lucille on the yellow bars people kneeled. “Do I kneel or stand?” she asked Negan quietly.

“You can stand, Sweetheart.” Negan told her, not whispering back. She turned her eyes to Markus who was tied to a chair in the middle of the room, next to a lit fire pit. “I just gave a speech about this shit last week.” Negan spoke loudly to the crowd. “I did not want to have to do this again.” He said as he started walking to the stairs and not knowing if she should follow she stayed behind. “But people keep breaking the rules. And again, why do we have rules?” Negan yelled.

“The rules keep us alive.” The crowd echoed back.

“That’s right. We survive, we provide security to others, we bring civilization back to this world. We are the saviors. But we can’t do that without rules. Rules are what make it all work.” Negan stopped on the stairs. “I know it’s not easy, but there is always work and there is always a cost. Here, if you try to skirt it! If you try to cut that corner!” Negan paused to laugh. “Then it is the iron for you.” Negan paused and let it all sink in before he said, “On your feet.” And everyone stood as Negan walked down the stairs.

As Kelly scanned the room she noticed a small group of women, dressed in fancy black clothing and heels with their hair done to match their upscale style. They were all giving her death glares. She assumed them to be Negan's wives.

"Kelly." Negan's voice drew her attention to him where he stood across from Markus. "Join me please." She walked down the stairs, hoping she wouldn't fall on her face considering it had been years since she'd worn heels. When she got close to her he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "What you're about to see is going to be gruesome. And Markus is most likely going to pass out before it's over. Is there anything you'd like to say to him before I get started?" She nodded so he stepped aside and motioned to her ex.

Kelly walked over to him, her heels against the concrete echoing around the silent room. Hate was clear in both of their eyes. "You…" she started pacing around the chair he was tied to. "I loved you with every...cell...in my being." She said, placing her fist over her heart at the memory. "But...that love is gone." She stopped walking and stood across from him, glaring down at him. "You starved it and stomped it so far into the dirt it couldn't see the light of day. Since that day that love has sat in that dark hole and festered into a raging hate," She walked over and leaned down, putting her hand on the back of the chair her nose almost touching his, "that burns so hot it is taking everything in me to not get that iron myself and burn that cold black heart from your chest." She stood up and turned her back on him. "Unfortunately, I have to assume that would get me into a world of trouble." She slipped her eyes up Negan's body to his eyes. "Correct?"

"Correct." Negan answered.

"So," She said with a sticky sweet, chipper voice as she whipped around and walked back over to Markus, "I'll have to settle for the satisfaction of watching whatever torture Negan has in store for you." She leaned down and whispered, "I hear it's going to be gruesome and honestly, I'm a little excited." She admitted with a smile and a wrinkle of her nose that Negan found incredibly adorable.

Markus looked at her with fear in his eyes as she walked back over to stand beside Negan. Finally Markus realized exactly what he had done to her, what he turned her into. Then it sank in that he was about to get the side of his face melted by a red hot iron.

"You done?" Negan asked with a smirk at her.

"That was a little long winded. I apologize." She told him quietly.

"Don't apologize, Darlin'." He told her as he stood up straighter. "This is a part of your therapy and honestly," he leaned over and whispered, "it got me a little excited." She bit her lips closed to keep from laughing. He passed her his baseball bat. "Keep Lucille company for me." He told her and she took it without hesitation. To keep the barbed wire from messing up her clothes she put the end of it on the floor between the toes of her shoes and rested her hands on the end of the handle.

She didn’t look at Markus, but instead watched as Negan put on a thick leather glove. “D.” he called and Dwight grabbed the red hot, old school iron out of the fire with a hook and handed it to Negan. “I’m sorry Markus, but you knew the rules. Secrets don’t make friends.”

Markus started breathing heavily through his teeth anticipating what was about to happen as Negan moved the iron closer and closer to Markus’s face until it made contact with his cheek and jaw. Markus screamed, never taking his eyes off of Kelly. Negan’s eyes were also on Kelly's, looking for a reaction. “Psychotic Bitch!” Markus yelled right before he passed out. All her face held was a smirk of triumph.

Negan removed the iron from his face, taking skin and meat with it. “Let Markus’s face be an everyday reminder to all of you and him that secrets are against the rules and will get you the iron in a heartbeat.” He called to the crowd then handed the iron back to Dwight. “He’s all yours Doc." Negan walked over to her, she picked up Lucille and he took it from her with a smirk. "Thank you, Darlin'." They walked in silence until they got in the room. “So, before I tied Markus to that chair we had a chat.” Negan started as she sat down on the end of the bed and he started taking his jacket off. “According to him you lied to me.”

“About what?” she asked, confused because she had never lied to Negan.

“He says that you did cheat on him with Daryl.” He said as he put his jacket next to her on the bed then pulled a dining chair up to sit across from her. “Now one of you is lying and I want to know who.”

Kelly sighed and rubbed at her temples. “I never slept with Daryl.” She answered, telling the truth. “Daryl was a listening ear and a good friend to me but it was never romantic. I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t believe me, but I told you before and I will tell you again. I don’t lie. Lies only further complicate what's already complicated.”

“I believe you.” Negan told her, staring at her with appraising, judging eyes. “I know what a cheater looks like, I don’t see that quality in you.”

Kelly gave him a small smile that lasted for a split second. “You wanted to know when I started shutting down?” she asked and Negan nodded. “I thought it happened slowly, that I didn’t just break and shut down all at once, but I did. I broke the night he told me that I was the most disgusting person that he’d ever met and he couldn’t stand looking at the woman who let his children die for a second longer. I cried for a full twenty-four hours, hating him and hating myself, missing my children.” She sniffled and quickly wiped at her eyes, taking away the tears before they could fall. “After that I never shed another tear.”

Negan slowly blinked at her sympathetically seeing more signs of her starting to feel again. Not being able to stop himself, he placed his hand on her cheek and swiped a tear away with his thumb. She gave him a small, sad smile as she placed her hand over his, reveling in his touch, before she pulled it away from her face. “He’s a douchebag.” Negan said, making her glance up at him. “He deserved every bit of what he got today.”

“Yeah.” She whispered then looked back down at his hand. She stroked her thumbs over the back of his hand, thinking about how she’d never been attracted to someone’s hands before. At the moment all she wanted to do was put it back on her cheek and let him have his way with her. Instead she said, “Okay change of subject, you ever had a hand massage?”

“No.” Negan answered with a bit of a smirk that suggested she was weird for asking. “Why?”

“Because you did me a favor today, you gave me a break from this room and let me get something out that's been bottled up inside me for a very long time. I studied to be a manicurist before I settled down." She slipped her thumbs down his pointer and pinky fingers, admiring how long and slim they were. "We were taught how to give hand massages. I would very much like to give you one. They feel really good and it's the only way I can think of to say thank you.” she said as she flexed his wrist with one hand then slid her other one up it aligning their fingers with their palm pressed to his.

“Really, that's the only way you can think of to thank me?” He asked with a big grin that was suggestive as shit. She just rolled her eyes then looked up at him through her lashes. “If you insist, sure, but it will have to wait until after I get done with the daily bullshit.” He stood up and grabbed his jacket off of the back of the chair. She found herself admiring his body as it flexed from him shrugging on the jacket.

After he left she sank down on the bed then leaned back, trying to figure out how she was going to not fall for him, considering he was the only company she had, when a sound came from the door and she turned to see a white piece of paper slide under the door with her name written on it. Curiously, she walked over and picked it up. “Meet us in the room at the end of the hall tomorrow at three.”

She stared at it, contemplating if she would really meet them or not, but after bouncing back and forth between yes or no, she decided that the only thing she could do was show the note to Negan. He was the only person she could trust. Anyone could have put that note under the door.

After the sun had set Negan finally came back, a tray of food in hand. Tonight was a simple meal of mashed potatoes and a small pork chop. She was quiet and didn’t look at him as he took off his jacket and sat down at the table across from her. When he started eating she picked at hers. “You wanna tell me what you're thinking about so hard over there?” Negan asked around a bite of potatoes.

Katie reached into her pocket and pulled out the price of paper. He frowned at her as she unfolded it then slid it across the table to him. "This was slid under the door while you were gone."

He picked it up and looked at it then put it back down on the table. "Why did you show this to me?"

"Because secrets don't make friends, obviously." She answered using his words.

"Did you want to keep it a secret?" He asked. "Did you want to meet with them?"

"No, of course not." She answered as if the questions offended her. "Your people saw me today. The women in the black dresses, they're your wives, right?" She asked and he nodded. "They don't seem to like me. For all I know this could be from them. They might be trying to rid you of the woman who takes up all of your nights."

"You didn't see who left it?" He asked.

She shook her head no. "I was too scared to open the door and look." She admitted.

"You don't have to be scared. No one is going to hurt you." He assured her. "Finish eating before it gets cold."

When they were both done, Kelly cleaned everything up and set the tray outside the door. When she turned around her eyes landed on Negan taking his shirt off. She averted her eyes to the floor knowing he was about to put on his pajama bottoms. When she looked back up, Negan held a shirt and a pair of light blue plaid boxers out to her. She did the same as she had done the night before and changed without showing him anything.

As he poured himself a glass of water she grabbed the tube of lotion out of her bag and sat down in the center of her side of the bed, crossing her bare legs. When Negan turned around and looked at her she patted the bed for him to join her. “Right, hand massage, I forgot.” He sighed as he walked over and set the glass of water on the makeshift night stand then sat down on the bed in front of her, mimicking her sitting position.

When he didn’t willingly give her his hand she sighed and picked it up. She started by massaging the underside of his forearm then worked her way down to his palm where she massaged a bit then stopped to add lotion. As she worked she made it a point to not look at Negan’s face. It was particularly hard to not look up when she ran her thumb from the bottom center of his palm to the base of his thumb and a breathy moan left his lips.

“You were right, that does feel good.” He sighed and she smiled to herself.

“I figured you could use it, considering you carry Lucille around all day.” She said with a glance at the bat that he had placed in the corner of the room.

“Are you calling my leading lady fat?” Negan asked with a playful tone in his voice.

Kelly faked a dramatic gasp. “I would never.” She placed a hand on her chest looking shocked that he would ask her that.

Negan actually laughed at her and she couldn’t help but look up at the bright genuine smile on his face. He stopped laughing when she started massaging again and hit the center of his palm making a deep groan rumble his throat again. She would be lying if she said she didn’t get a little turned on at the sound. Other than the occasional moan from Negan, the room was silent as she finished up his left hand. When she started on his right she looked up at him again to see him looking at her with lust hazed eyes. “Fuck, sweetheart that feels fucking amazing.” Negan laughed loudly. An electric wave shot from her chest through her every limb then settled in her core.

“Yeah, that’ll convince people we’re not screwing.” Kelly giggled a little, not looking up from her work.

“Well I am hard as a fucking rock right now.” Before she could stop herself her eyes moved from his hand to his crotch to see that he wasn't lying. The truth was there, long, hard, curved and begging to be let out of the confinement of his jeans. He didnt miss that she actually looked. “You should do my cock next. It's obviously begging to get a taste of your talented hands.”

Her mouth went dry at his words and as much as she wanted to look at his face she kept her eyes down and kept massaging. “I’m gonna have to refer you to one of your wives for that particular massage.”

“Damn.” He sighed and Kelly smiled. “Well, can’t blame a guy for trying.” She didn’t respond and instead worked in silence, making sure to hit all the spots that got reactions out of him on his left hand. When she was done, she glanced at his watch to see that it was almost ten o’clock. So she dropped his hand and finally looked up at him to see him smiling at her with closed lips. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” She told him with a small smile in return.

While he got up and washed his hands Kelly spread their blankets out, splitting the bed between them then tucked herself under her cover. He turned the light off then did the same. As she laid there thinking about how she felt about Negan, how he made her feel safe and how every touch from him sent sparks through her, making her feel alive for the first time in years, her hand slid to the center of the bed, bumping into Negan’s where it was already waiting for hers. His hand slid over hers, and flipped it so her palm was facing up then brushed his fingertips over her palm sending a shock wave through her. She thought he was just teasing her until his palm met hers and he laced their fingers together. "So about this morning..." He whispered, making her chest tighten. "Did you like being close to me?"

"I did." She answered, her voice nervous and shaky.

He sat up, pulled her blanket off and tossed it to the floor then tugged his over her. "Get over here." The gravel in his whispered words told her that resisting wasn't an option. Even if it was, she wouldn't have. So she turned her back to him and intended on scooting over, but he looped an arm around her waist and pulled her flush against him. She rested her head on his pillow that his arm that wasn't around her was under. She tried to even out her breathing as he slid his hand down her arm then grabbed her hand when he found it. "Tell anyone I like to cuddle and I'll personally kick your ass."

"Doesn't sound very threatening coming from a man who likes to cuddle." She joked without thinking.

"My point exactly." He whispered harshly.

"Yeah yeah, you got a reputation to protect. No worries, my lips are sealed." She whispered. "Besides, I'm pretty sure you couldn’t kick my ass even if you had cause to."

"Did you forget who you're talking to?" He asked, if it hadn't been for the hint of amusement in his voice she would've thought that she pushed too far.

"No, but I don’t think you know who you're talking to." She answered being cocky.

"Oh yeah?" He asked with a chuckle.

"Yeah." She answered with a smile in her voice.

"We'll see about that." He laughed and she wished that she could see his dimpled smile, but it was pitch black in the room. "Good night, Dead Girl."

"Good night, Savior." She whispered then snuggled her head into his pillow and quickly drifted off to sleep.

[aprilmmourning]

“It’s me and you, babe, till the end.” MASTERLIST

Summary: What happens when Negan reunites with his old flame? A flame that once burned bright before the world ended? Emilia had been with Rick’s group for a while now, when one sunny day her old lover Negan walks through the gates and her world is turned upside down. Forcing her to be caught between two groups that are at war with each other.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

[pattysfics]

Kind of Hate You, Kind of Don’t

Warnings: cuss words. Negan. Smut. fingering. (unprotected sex)

Request: So I do want a request. My oc her name is Tabitha. Her age is 28. She dark brown hair and eyes. Her skin is a light tan color. She is very feisty, independent, and doesn't like to listen to anyone. She us one of Negans wives, but she only agreed to that to save her friends (Rick and the others). I do want there to be smut in it. Tabitha despises him, but later during the day Negan wants to talk to her about how he doesn't appreciate the way she's been talking back and well, just being a bitch to him in general. XD. So while they are aline and fighting, Negan takes this moment to take advantage of her, by making a move. Tabitha hates it, but eventually gives into it. I'd love for something like that. Please? And thank you if you do!!!! - @kylorenlover15

A/N: I really hope this what you wanted!! Thank you for sending it in!!

Growing up Tabitha didn’t follow directions very well. From her parents to her teachers, she didn’t take fondly to following orders.

Now at the ripe age of 28, and zombies walking the earth, she was being directed every single day about what she can and can’t do. She’d given up her freedom to save her group from being killed by Negan. She couldn’t stand having to sit in her room everyday till someone came and got her. She didn’t want to be here, not with him. Rick had pleaded with her not to, but she couldn’t let anything happen to the group. Glenn was going to be a father, Carl only had one eye, Maggie was in desperate need of a doctor, and she wouldn’t let anything happen to them. So when Negan was just about to kill Glenn after he had slaughtered Abe, she spoke up. Offered herself, so that another person wouldn’t have to die. Negan being the asshole he is accepted, that was weeks ago. 

Every time he tried to talk to her, she’d flip her dark brown hair and walk away, totally ignoring anything he’d say to her. When she’d be outside and she would see him instead of bowing her head like a good girl, she’d stand, defying what he’d told her. He’d make grudge remarks about her group, her family, then try to get sexual with her, only for her to push him away again and again. Negan was starting to get pissed the fuck off with her behavior towards him. Every time he tried to talk to her, she was a total bitch to him and that shit does not fucking fly. 

 On this given day, Negan had ordered her to be in his room so they could talk and Tabitha had every intention of not being there. He'd probably be mad at her, but she didn't care. Tabitha spent the day moseying around the compound deliberately avoiding doing what Negan had told her. 

She was walking down the hall of the sanctuary. She turned the corner of the when she saw Negan standing down the hall in front of her door. Tabitha freezes. He'd never came after her like this. He glanced down the hallway turned his head back towards the door, but he quickly snapped his head back towards her. “Well there she is. There is my bitchy doll. Thought I told you to meet me in my room. We were going to talk about this god awful attitude you have towards me.”

Tabitha rolled her eyes as she walked down the hall towards him and her room. This wasn’t the first time he has tried to talk to her about her attitude. “You see. That is what the fuck I’m talking about doll. You’ve been non-stop bitch for these last few days and I’m about tired of it.”

She brushed past him and opened the door and attempted to close it in his face, when his large hand stopped it from closing. “Negan,” she cried, “just leave me alone.”

“Hell fuckin’ no. We are getting to the bottom of this whole attitude thing. Today and now.”

“Negan. Just leave.”

“No!,” he yelled stepping into the room. “I’m not leaving until you tell me your fuckin’ problem.”

“Negan, I don’t have a problem. Just leave.” She tried to explain again. 

“No. No fuckin’ way,” he said stepping closer to her. “What is your problem?”

Negan turned away from her and went to sit on the edge of her bed, waiting for Tabitha to explain herself to him. “Tabby,” he sighed,” just talk to me.”

“It’s Tabitha. Not Tabby,” she snapped at him. She just wanted him to leave. 

“See there is that fuckin’ attitude again. Once again, I’m about tired of it.” He still sat there on her bed, waiting on her answer. 

“You want to know what my problem is? You really want to know?”

“Well hell yeah doll. Why don’t you fuckin’ tell me already?,” he asked as he got up and walked closer to Tabitha. He stalked closer to her, making her back up till she was backed into the wall. He used his hands and arms to cage in her. She could feel Negan’s hot breath on her when he dipped his head until he was level with her ear. “What is your problem?” he whispered. He looked back up at her with soft eyes awaiting her answer. 

“You. You are my fuckin’ problem,” she said raising her head to look at him. His hands still caging her in. His eyes peering into her soul. “You took me away from my family. This is the only me, that you’re going to get,” she told him. 

He looked at her hurt. Yeah, he’d taken her away but she offered to come with him. Yeah, also maybe because you were about to beat another person’s skull in, he thought. 

For a brief moment, Negan thought about just turning around and leaving, but he just couldn’t. He grabbed Tabitha’s face and brought his lips down on hers. 

At first, she didn’t kiss him back. She was shocked. She stood there motionless feeling his lips move against hers. She was thinking that maybe this was a short time thing, but then he didn’t stop. She let out a groan when he bit her bottom lip. Without another thought, she placed her hands on the side of his face returning his lustful kiss. 

“Atta girl,” he praised when he felt her lips move against his. He moved his hands down her body, raising her lower half and wrapping her legs around his body. Tabitha let out a sigh and Negan took full advantage by shoving his tongue into her mouth. 

She moved her mouth harder against his, desperately wanting more. Negan slides his hands down cupping Tabitha’s ass, pulling her tighter against him. She reached for the hem of his shirt, signaling she wanted it off. He pulled away for a second to peel his shirt off and throw it across the room. He didn’t wear his usual leather jacket, just a plain white t-shirt that clung to his body. 

He reached down and started to unbutton her pants, pushing them down slightly. He slid one hand down her panties, rubbing soft circles on her clit through them. 

“My dirty girl,” Negan chuckles. “You want me so bad, don’t you?” he asked. “Been acting like a little bitch, just to get my fuckin’ attention, right?” he asked as he continued to rub her.

“Fuck. You,” she gritted out. She was feeling to good to tell him to stop now. 

“Oh, baby girl, I’ll be the one doing the fucking. I promise you that,” he smirked down at her. She felt him move her panties to the side and plunge two thick fingers into her. She threw her head back moaning in ecstasy. 

“Shit Negan..” she groaned clutching his bare broad shoulder in her hands. He moved his fingers faster in and out of her causing her to cry out as she started to tighten around him. “Please, Negan, please,” she cried eyes screwed shut. 

“You want to cum? By all means baby girl cum for me,” he said as he picked up his pace. Going faster and faster. 

“Shit. Oh fuck. Negan..” she cried finally releasing the warm coil that was building in her belly. 

“Damn, baby girl. You are so fuckin’ sexy,” he said lowering her legs to the ground. He finished pushing her pants and panties to the ground. She easily stepped out of them. She stepped closer to him taking control and kissing him. 

She grinded her body into his. She felt him through his jeans. His arousal was presses against her and she wanted all of it. She reached and started to undo his belts, when his hands grabbed her wrist. She looked up at him, his eyes full of desire and lust. He pulled her hands away and guided her to the bed. He pulled her shirt off her before signally her to lay down. 

He watched her lay down. He reached down and picked up where she was abruptly stopped, undoing his belts. He grinned as he kicked his shoes off,  pushing his pants to the ground along with his boxers. He laid down on the bed crawling on top of her. She was panting. She wanted him and wanted him bad. 

He slid her shirt up and over her head tossing it to the side. He unclasped her bra, taking one of her nipples in his mouth. He rolled his tongue over it before biting lightly. She whimpered. This man was going to be the death of her. 

He moved up till his body was fully covering hers, harshly sucking on her neck, no doubt marking his territory, making her his. He reached down taking himself in his hand. He was hard enough already. He didn’t need any foreplay, he was ready. 

“Negan, just do it,” she pleaded. He chuckled placing himself at her entrance. He pushed in slowly earning a throaty moan from underneath him. Tabitha gasped and kissed him passionately tangling her hands in his hair as he filled her completely. 

He held himself still eyes shut in pleasure, but also allowing her to adjust. This was their first time together and he was going to damn sure make it good. 

“Negan, you need to move. Please.” She tried to move her hips to get some type of movement out of him, but he just laid there. She cried out when he finally began to move, thrusting lightly into her. 

He picks up his pace after a few minutes. Moans, groans, and heavy breathing filled the room as he started to thrust into her hard. 

“Negan! Fuck. Right there,” she cried throwing her head back against the pillow. He nipped at her exposed neck. 

Every thrust hit that wonderful spot deep inside her. That warm sensation quickly creeping back into the pit of her stomach. She brought her hands to his cheeks guiding his lips to hers before kissing him deeply. 

“Darling I don’t know how much longer. I’m so close.” Negan groaned as he began to thrust more frantic. 

Tabitha felt her legs shake and soon she released all around his thick cock. “Come on Negan. Come on. Cum for me, do it,” she enticed him. He growled as he spilled inside her. 

“Darling, if it takes you getting all pissed at me for that to happen, then by all means be pissed all you want,” he chuckled after he recovered. He slipped out of bed, and redressed sitting on the bed closest to Tabitha as she slipped into a peaceful slumber.

“Goodnight darlin’,” he whispered brushing her long brown hair out of the way as he leaned down placing a light kiss on her temple. For a second, Negan thought about staying, but decided against it. He walked out the door and down the hallway. Tomorrow would be a new day and Tabitha would probably resent him again. 

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If you want to be added/removed from the tag list please let me know!!!

tag list: @ohmyneganimagination-twd @starbabysparkle @thedeadwalks @jasoncrouse  @its-bri19  @ryangoslingstanktop @aalexandra2712 @namelesslosers @elinyaes @zoesmama2024 @kylorenlover15 @miiraal @toxic-ink @mwesterfeld1985 @myladytitania @sweetsweetpeach @negans-network

[trashcanband4]

Therapy Sessions Ch. 3

Ch. 1   Ch. 2

Pairing: NeganxOc (Kelly). Setting: The Sanctuary. Warnings: Ooc Negan.

Three weeks went by. She would sleep on the other side of Negan’s bed. Wake up to him gone, do a morning work out, eat whatever small amount of food was left on a plate on the table then wait for Negan to come back just to be prodded with what he called get to know you question’s. These questions were so pointless and superficial that she swore that Negan was simply trying to bore her to death. Frankly she was getting tired of it.

It was after the twentieth or so question of the day that she asked, “Why are you wasting time and resources on me?” finally snapping, raising her voice at him for the first time. “Why are you dead set on this?” she stood up and looked down at him.

He glared up at her. “I don’t know. I just know I need to.”

“God, you are so…” she started but stopped, not being able to think of a word that described him.

“Charming,” he said as she stood up, looking down at her, “handsome, generous, drop dead fucking sexy as hell.” He finished with a smile and a slight lean back.

“Annoying…ass-hole…arrogant… bastard.” She spat the words at him then moved to turn around, but he grabbed her by her arm and pulled her back around to face him. Her eyes traveled to his hand on her sleeved upper arm then back up to his glaring, dilated eyes.

“I have taken it easy on you, Dead Girl.” He warned her. “Talk to me like that again and you’ll join Daryl on easy street.”

“Good, do it, it has to be better than do you like this, do you like that, when did you lose your virginity, when did you have you first kiss, blah blah blah blah blah.” She said in her best deep Negan voice. “If your goal is to drive me fucking bat shit crazy then congratulations you’ve won! The fucking gold metal goes to surprise, surprise, you! Asshole of the year everybody!” she was yelling at him and finally lashing out, but it wasn’t enough for Negan, he needed more.

So with glaring eyes and a strained grin Negan he wrapped his long fingers around her neck and shoved her back until her butt hit the edge of the table causing glasses to rattle then pressed his lips to hers. He was actually surprised that she started kissing him back and placed her hands on his sides. As her tongue snaked its way into his mouth she slid one of her hands up to rest on his chest. His hand on her throat relaxed as his eyes slipped closed. Feeling him relax she swiftly, slid her hand across his chest and used her forearm shove him back with all her might.

He stumbled back, hand still in there air where it had been on her neck as his eyes slowly opened. As he saw her panting with flared nostrils and fire in her eyes, a smirk spread across his lips. “Well, I wasn’t expecting that.” His words had no effect on her. “But that, right there,” he motioned to her face, “I did. You fuckin’ look like you want to murder me right now, Darlin’.”

“I fucking hate you.” she growled still seething in anger.

“According to that kiss, you fucking love me.” He said with another cheeky grin and a jerk of his chin.

“Don’t flatter yourself.” She told his as she walked around him. “It was a distraction tactic and it worked.” She grabbed her plaid shirt off of the bed and shrugged it on.

With her back still to him she drew in a calming breath then held it a few seconds. “Holy shit, he just fucking got to me. He fucking did it. I felt pure…raw rage for the first time since Markus left me. Oh my God, is that when all this started, when he left me? Is that when I started shutting down? And whoa, that kiss. I had thought about Negan kissing me before, when he first brought me here and I thought that sex is what he wanted from me, but holy fucking shit was that good.” After silently panicking she let the breath out. “What’s next, you gonna try to make me cry?” she asked as she turned around and walked past him and sat down in her dining chair on the left side of the table. “Boo hoo hoo my children died and my husband left me. You murdered two good men and took me away from my people. You made Kelly angry waah.” She rubbed under her eyes as she pretended to cry then dropped them from her faced and let her face turn sarcastic. “I don’t cry anymore. In order to cry you need to hurt and I can’t get hurt anymore.”

“Getting hurt is part of living.” Negan responded. “Shutting down like you’re doing is hurting you.”

“I can’t feel anything.” As she spoke her eyes fell to the floor. “What I’m doing is self preservation.”

“No, what you’re doing is selfish.” He countered.

“How so?” she asked.

“By not letting people in, you’re robbing them of the pleasure of knowing you, of having a friend in you. Hell you are drop dead fucking gorgeous.” She rolled her eyes at him. “Seriously, I’m surprised some poor fucker hasn’t turned just from lookin’ at you. If that kiss is any indication I’m sure you’re a good fuck too.” He was trying to get under her skin again.

“None of that is true.” She said with a head shake. “As for being a good fuck…I don’t even remember what I’m like.” She shrugged then leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest.

He moved to straddle her outstretched legs. Her eyes took in his big hands that gripped the arm rests of the wooden chair she was sitting in before she let them travel up his plain white t-shirt covered chest, his neck, his lips then his eyes. “Do you want me to help you remember?”

“No.” Negan was surprised to see that all that rage he had seen before was now gone and she was back to her cool calm collected self. “I may be mentally broken…but I still have morals. I’m not your wife.”

“Would putting a ring on your finger get you to open up to me…let me in?” he asked, still leaning over her, staring her down in the chair.

“No.”

“Tell me why not.” He said leaning down a little more as if that would get to her, “Explain yourself.”

“If you didn’t have other wives…If I knew making a vow and putting a ring on my finger would make me something special to you, then maybe it would help. Maybe, but you’ve already admitted between the lines that you don’t see them as real wives. So why would I want that for myself?”

“I guess as you see it now you wouldn’t.” he stood back up and moved to sit in the chair across the table from her. “But you’ve already got one advantage over them. I don’t allow them to sleep in my bed. I don’t give anyone anything without expecting something in return. Most people here, they work for points and those points are spent on what it takes to keep them alive and comfortable. My wives, they earn their keep by keeping me happy. Then there are the people that are good for nothing but working the fences.” He explained a bit of the inner workings of the sanctuary to her. “What have you given me to earn what you have been given? As I see it you are in negative points right now which is not a good place to be.”

“I didn’t realize that’s how it worked.” She said quietly, hating the fact that she was now in debt to him. “I’ll earn my point’s… Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it.”

“All I want you to do for now is let me help you.” he answered.

“I don’t know how to do that.” She whispered more to herself than him. “I can handle being thrown into a room to be isolated and abused. I can even handle physical torture, but I have spent years building up these walls that you’re asking me to break I…” for the first time in a long time she felt her eyes water, but she didn’t let the tears fall. “What if I break?”

“That’s what I’m here for.” He told her as he leaned up and placed his arms on the table. “If you break, it’ll be because I made you. So I’ll pick up the pieces and put you back together.”

“And how do I know I can trust you?” she asked sitting up to mimic how he had his arms cross on the table. “How do I know that you don’t intend on breaking me and leaving me that way? How do I know that you don’t get some sick sadistic pleasure out of breaking people?”

“Blind faith?” He answered and she shook her head no. “Do you know why I chose you?” he asked and she shook her head no again. “I’ve seen a lot of people with the same void look in their eyes and it never bothered me before, I never cared before. But something about you, something about how you looked at me, made me care. I care too much about you to break you indefinitely. I can’t find out what has drawn me to you until you are alive and care about the people in your life.”

Kelly sighed and let her head fall onto the table, her forehead pressed into the cold wood as she covered her head with her arms. “You might as well stick me in the cell next to Daryl. There is no fixing me. I’m too damaged…”

“You don’t have a choice, sweetheart.” His whispered, soft words made her pick her head up and rest her chin on her arms that she folded on the table. “I’m gonna fix that fucked up head of yours rather you fuckn’ want me to or not.” He stood up and locked the door and chained it shut. “You’re goin’ to stay right here. You can fight me every inch of the way, but it happenin’ darlin’.”

The fire was back in her eyes for a split second. So it surprised him when she said, “Fine.” And just like that the hatred in her eyes was gone, replaced again with emptiness. “Do your worst.” She said as she stood up and walked over to stand chest to chest with him. Her boldness also surprised him. She kept doing that, surprising him when he thought he had her figured out. “Try to make me feel something other than rage, but it won’t work. I…feel…nothing good.”

If he was being honest, she had him riled up, harder than a rock the way she kept glaring at him, her chest pressed against his. He wanted to grab her and this time push her against the door and take her right then and there, but he knew that wasn’t the way to go about getting to her to truly open up to him. Instead he bit his lip and nodded then walked around her to sit back down at the table. Her eyes followed him curiously. “You know, Daryl’s been asking about you. Every time someone goes in to feed him he asks where you are and what I’m doing to you. He’s threatened to kill me several times if I lay a hand on you.”

She sat down on the bed and pulled her knees into her chest. Negan noticed her start chewing on the inside of her lip as she stared at the floor. She had never done that before, but Negan had never spoken about how Daryl was doing before. He had mentioned here and there about what he was doing to Daryl and how he intended on breaking Daryl, but never had he mentioned Daryl’s side of things. Kelly had cared for Daryl at one point a long time ago. He’d saved her on more than one occasion and in more than one way.

“No comment?” he asked making Kelly’s dark eyes snap up at him. “Do you care about him?” he watched her suck her lip into her mouth and shake her head as her lips slid between her teeth. “Could’ve fooled me.”

“I cared about him…past tense.” She answered as she dropped her legs to hang off the edge of the bed.

“Tell me what you think about Daryl.” He told her as he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest.

“No.” she shook her head, her brown frizzy waves slapping her in the sides of the face.

“Why not?” he asked, trying to not let his aggravation show.

“Because I’m not going to give you ammo to use against him.” She answered.

“What is said between us in this room stays here in this room.” he told her and she just stared at him. “As soon as I walk out of that door I will forget whatever you may tell me. We can’t talk about your past for forever. We need to talk about the here and now. The people you surrounded yourself with and what you think about them will tell me about you. So talk to me.”

“Fine.” She said as she leaned back to lay on the bed. “What I think about Daryl.” She sighed as she stared up at the ceiling. “He’s a damn good man. Loyal to a fault. Protective of his people. He’s saved me a lot, even when I didn’t want him to. We were close before I fell away from everyone.”

“What about Rick the prick?” he asked as he stood up and took off his leather jacket.

“God where do I start with Rick?” she scoffed. “He’s a leader, hardheaded, strong. He doesn’t take shit from anyone. He doesn’t always make the best choices, but his heart’s always in a good place when he does. He’s pissed me off more times than I can count, but he’s still a good guy.”

“What about that guy…Spencer?”

“Arrogant, entitled asshole not worth the air he breaths.” She answered quickly.

“Good to hear that, because I killed him yesterday.” Negan answered causing Kelly to sit up and look at him.

“Why?” she asked flatly.

“He was trying to weasel his way into my good graces…trying to play me and I saw right through it.” he answered.

“Stupid.” She said making Negan think she was calling him stupid for killing Spencer. He glared at her, making her realize how Negan took her word. “Spencer, not you.” she clarified. “So you’ve been inside Alexandria?” she asked and Negan nodded. “Have you met Judith, Rick’s daughter?”

“Yep, she’s a sweetheart. I made her and Carl dinner then rocked her to sleep while I waited for Rick the prick to come home. Speaking of home, you guys have it made there, electricity, running water…”

“I know I’m in no place to make requests, but can I ask that you don’t hurt Judith?” she asked quietly.

Negan stared at her for a second. “I’d never hurt a toddler.”

As he thought about Negan rocking Judith to sleep, she remembered that when she was brought to the doctor, one of Negan’s wives was leaving the office and the doctor threw away a negative pregnancy test as Kelly walked in. “Can I ask you something?” she asked and Negan motioned for her to talk. “Do you like kids?”

“I love kids, they’re the future. I worked with them before the turn.”

“Do you want kids?” she asked and Negan just stared at her for a second, trying to figure out what she was getting at.

He smiled a little, showing off his dimples before he finally answered. “I would love to have a kid one day.”

“Is that why you have all those wives? To try to have a kid before you bite the dust?” she pulled her knees to her chest again and wrapped her arms around them, thinking he was going to get mad or lash out at her.

“Hadn’t thought about it like that, but yeah, I guess that’s one of the perks.” He said with a smile on his face at the thought of having a kid. It didn’t matter which one of his wives was the mother. He just loved the idea of being a father.

After a while of sitting in silence, which was odd given that Negan was in the room, Kelly dropped her toned legs, clad in black yoga pants, from her chest and stood up. “Am I ever going to get to see what else is out there besides the doctor’s office and showers?” she asked as she walked over to the counter in the room and poured herself a glass of water. She took a drink as she turned and leaned her hips against the bar.

“The day you truly open up to me will be the day you see something other than these four walls.” He answered and she swallowed then nodded. “Oh, I almost fuckin’ forgot.” He said as he jumped up and walked over to her. “The doc. pointed something out to me today. Mentioned you might be needing these soon.” He took the glass out of her hand and replaced it with a stack of pink wrapped sanitary napkins. She wrapped her hand around the stack and dropped her hand as she looked up at him to see if he was embarrassed. Most men would be in this situation. The inner workings of the female body tended to make most men squeamish. Negan however looked amused. “Felt like a dumb ass walking around with those in my back pocket all day, just so you know.”

She smirked at him a little and simply said, “thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He gave her a small smile in return. “Lucille used to make me go get those things all the time. She always got really sick during that time of month.” He said as he turned his back on her and walked away a bit.

As she scanned his back, taking in his broad shoulders, covered with a white t-shirt, slim waist and his ass, clad in grey pants, she felt the urge to touch him. “Fuck. This isn’t happening.” She told herself as she started chewing on the inside of her lips again. “I’m not starting to feel something for him. I just…I find him attractive, that’s it, plain and simple. I don’t like him or want him.” She reassured herself.

“You hungry?” Negan asked getting Kelly’s attention. “I’m fuckin’ starvin’.”

“I could eat.” She answered with a numb nod, Negan noticed the distracted look on her face, but decided to drop it for now. “What time is it?”

Negan looked at his watch then answered, “Six twenty-five.”

She realized then that she was actually starving and had missed lunch. “Time flies.”

“I’m gonna go grab us some dinner.” He said as he put his jacket back on and walked out of the door without another word.

When Negan was gone, Kelly pulled the sanitary napkins out of her pocket and looked at them, then around the room. She’d been there for almost a month now and in this world if you stayed in one place longer than that you started to call it home. Here felt nothing like home and as she looked at the napkins she realized they were the only things she could call her own here along with the necklace on her neck.

For the first time since she had gotten there she thought about Alexandria, about home. The old folded up photo of her kids that probably still sat on her night stand. The pictures they had drawn her that was still taped to the walls. Her clothes that hung in her closet. She missed having her own room and her own things. She didn’t think she ever would miss Alexandria.

With a sigh she tucked the napkins back into her pocket and took her necklace off of her neck. It had been so long since she opened it that she feared that it wouldn’t, but after sticking her thumbnail between the pieces, it popped open. The faces of her husband and children looked back at her. Her old life flashed before her eyes and before it could get to her, she clipped it shut and took a deep breath. She pushed back the tears before they could make it out of her eyes. Negan had really done a number on her when he pissed her off.

She was letting the breath out when Negan opened the door with a tray in his hand and a reusable shopping bag in the other. She hopped up and took the tray from him to place it on the table. “So what’s for dinner?” she asked as she turned back toward him.

“BLT’s and fresh fruit.” He answered and her mouth instantly watered. “But first I went shopping for you.”

“What?” she asked, a little confused.

“Here.” He handed her the shopping bag with a recycling symbol on the side of it and she hesitantly took it from him.

“What is this gonna cost me?” she asked still not looking in the bag.

“It’s on the house.” He answered causing her to glare at him. “It’s not a trap, I promise. I just figured you could use a few things of your own.”

“Okay…” she drawled as she set the bag on the bed and started taking things out. A hair brush with hair ties wrapped around the handle, bobby pins were hooked on the elastics, a notebook and a few different colors of pens, a Mac cosmetics lip balm that changed color depending on the ph of lips, a Too Faced black eyeliner and mascara set, deodorant, toothbrush, toothpaste, a compact mirror, tweezers, nail clippers, a nail file and a small tube of bath and body works hand cream. “Are you sure there’s not a catch? This is a lot of stuff and not cheap stuff I might add. The makeup alone is like, eighty bucks.” She knew she was making a good case for him to take the stuff back, but she didn’t want to owe him anything.

“Really, those three things are worth that much?” he asked disbelievingly and she nodded at him. “Well they’re worthless to me so take them.”

“Okay, if you insist.” She said with a nod.

While she put the things back into the bag, Negan started taking the lids off of their food. When she turned around she saw that he had found her necklace that she’d left on the table. She froze, as she saw that he had opened it and was looking at the pictures. When he looked up at her their eyes locked. “I’m guessing these are you kids.” He said as he looked back down at the pictures. “And this is your husband.” He pointed to the picture of Kell’s husband. “What are their names?” his tone told her that she had no choice but to answer the question.

“Darcy and Xavier were my kids. Markus is my ex husbands name.” she answered wondering why he cared what their names were.

“That’s what I thought.” He sighed making her cock her head at him in confusion.

“What?” she asked as he snapped the locket shut and handed it to her.

“Markus isn’t at Hilltop or The Kingdom.” She stared at him, wondering what he was getting at. “Markus is here. He's one of my men.” Negan said quietly.

Kelly just stared at him, a million thoughts flying through her head. Would he tell Markus that she was here? Would he use him to try to break her? She couldn't see Markus again, not when he was the cause if her shutting down in the first place. "Are you going to say something?"

"I don’t know what to say." She whispered as he took in the look of pure fear on her face.

"Do you want to see him?"

"NO!" Kelly answered louder than she meant to and Negan cocked his head to the side. "If I see him again I will not hesitate to kill him or at the very least re-break his nose."

"That is something I'd like to see." Negan told her with a smile then remembered that Markus's nose was broken when he first came to the sanctuary. "Wait, you broke his nose before he left Alexandria?"

"I told you things got ugly between us." She answered with a shrug.

"Elaborate." He told her as he picked up his sandwich, but when she didn't answer he looked her over a little closer and noticed her hand on her stomach. Seeing that she was so upset she couldn't eat he changed his mind. "Never mind. Calm down, eat your supper and well cover that topic in the morning."

Eventually her nerves untangled enough that she could eat and as soon as she was done she crawled into bed before Negan then quickly went to sleep.

[trashcanband4]

Therapy Sessions Ch. 1

Pairing: NeganxOc. Setting: After the line up. Warnings: Idk, portraying Negan badly? Swearing? Summary: Negan picks Kelly (the oc) out of the lineup simply because he has the need to help her. Authors Note: I really don’t have much experiance with writing Negan, so sorry if he is out of character.

Alexandria had been her home since the beginning. At first she loved it. She helped build the walls that kept everyone safe. She loved the people that lived there, but over the years things just kept getting worse. More and more people around her died or left for other communities and it all took a toll on her.

These days it just felt like she was going through the motions. If she smiled it never reached her eyes. She still helped out. She did this because of this reason, went here and did that because the others needed her to, but she didn’t care, not really. She pretended to care about the people around her. That's why she was now helping get Maggie to the doctor at Hilltop.

That's why, even after Negan bashed in Abraham and Glenn's heads, she didn’t cry. She knew she should, everyone else around her was crying their eyes out, but not her. She just sat there, staring off into the distance looking bored until Negan stuck his bat in her face, touching the tip of her dainty nose with the cold bloody wood.

He expected her to give him the same look Rick and the others had, or seeing as how there were no tears on her face that she was in shock. However he was surprised to see her looking at him as if he were any other person. As if he hadn't just brutally murdered her people right in front of her. "Hey, Simon." Negan called and a guy walked over making her brown eyes bounce between the men. "Take this one to my truck." Negan smirked at her, showing his dimples as she stood up and walked around Negan to Simon.

Simon grabbed her upper arm, gripping it hard as he jerked her along. She walked willingly beside him, not putting up a fight. Eventually, she sucked in a hiss of breath as his fingers dug in too hard. "Hey!" Everyone's eyes snapped to Negan who walked over to glare at Simon. "The fuck you think you're doin'?" Simon just stared at Negan. "Did I imply anywhere in my fucking request that I wanted you to fucking bruise her beautiful as fuck body?"

She just glanced between the two of them, wondering what was going to happen next. "No." Simon answered still gripping her arm.

"Then take...your fucking hands...off of her." Simon let go of her arm and she quickly covered the throbbing area with her own hand, trying to cover the fact that in a few hours finger shaped bruises would appear there. He then looked at her, "Sorry about that, Sweetheart. Would you mind hopping into the passenger seat of that red pickup over there?"

She followed his long slender finger to said vehicle then looked back at his face. "No, Negan, I don’t mind." 

Negan beamed down at her and placed his hand on neck and face, sliding his thumb over her cheek bone. “I like you already.” Negan turned his smile to Rick. “Take fucking note from this one, she gets it.” Negan turned back to her and slid his thumb across her cheek, looking for any reaction from her, but got nothing. “Go on sweetheart.” he told her with a head jerk toward the truck as he dropped his hand.

She didn't look back at the people she was leaving behind. Seeing their disappointed faces would only remind her how stupid and careless she was being. A random guy opened the door of the truck for her and offered her his hand as she stepped up on the running board, but she ignored it, climbed inside and let him shut the door.

What felt like hours later, after the sun had started to rise, Negan climbed inside and started the truck. If she looked at him, it would send the message that she cared about where he was taking her and what was going to happen to her. So instead, she kept your eyes straight ahead, staring at the headlight illuminated trees in front of the truck. Negan’s eyes were practically burning a hole into the side of her face so finally she let her eyes look over at him before her head followed. “Do you even care that I just took you away from your people?” Negan asked as he looked away from her and started driving, leading the caravan of cars.

“Not really, no.” she answered, turning her eyes back out of the front glass.

“Really?” he asked disbelievingly.

She shrugged, not looking at him. “They aren’t my people. My people died a long time ago. Those people back there are just the people I existed with.”

He didn’t miss the fact that she said existed with, instead of lived with. It wasn’t hard to figure out that she was badly broken. As soon as his eyes landed on hers in the line up he knew it. But he had to wonder if she knew it and if she wanted to change, if she wanted to feel alive again. She wasn’t the first person he had seen with that look in their eyes, but for some reason she was the first that he wanted to make feel alive again. “Do you want to know why I chose you?”

“No, but something tells me you’re gonna tell me anyway.” She answered matter-of-factly.

“Because you didn’t freak out, you took it all in stride and didn’t even fucking blink.” She was unfazed by his words, all out of fucks to give about why he chose her or what he intended to do with her. “And that mean’s one of two things. You are hard as fucking nails…or you are so dead inside that you couldn't give two shits about anything.” His last words caught her attention and she finally broke her gaze out of the front glass to furrow her brows at him, the first facial expression he had gotten from her. “Which one is it?”

“Does it matter?” she asked turning her head to look out of the widow to her right.

“You bet your hot as fuck little ass it matters.” He said with a laugh in his voice. “One will land you in a very bad place a place you do not want to be. The other…well it’s better.” She slowly turned her gaze to him. “So do not fucking lie to me.”

She stared at the side of his face, taking in his graying facial hair, black leather jacket and hazel eyes. Back in the day, she would have found the man to be extremely attractive, but looking at him now she felt absolutely nothing. “Well, seeing as how I couldn't give two flying fucks in hell about what you plan to do with me or why you didn’t just put me out of my numb existence back there, I'd say I am shattered beyond repair.”

“You’re sure about that?” he asked.

“I might withhold information, but I never lie to anyone, ever.” she answered without looking at him.

After that the drive to the sanctuary was quiet other than the occasional radio call that Negan had to answer. And once they got to the sanctuary, Negan walked around to her side of the truck and pulled her door open then offered her his hand to step down out of the truck. Just like the other guy, she didn’t take his hand and instead hopped down out of the truck not bothering to use the running board as a step. As she looked around what she guessed used to be a factory of some kind, she saw Daryl fighting with everything in him to not be dragged into the sanctuary by the three men who were handling him. Their gazes met for a second and she knew that the wild helpless look in Daryl’s eyes should have some kid of effect on her, but it didn’t. “You ready to see your new home, Dead Girl?” Negan asked as he slapped his hand down on her shoulder.

She tore her eyes away from Daryl and looked up at Negan. “Sure.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and started walking, ushering her along with him.

“Dwight, you know what to do with him. Take care of it.” Negan barked. “I have something more important to take care of.” He led her into the building and through some dim, grey hallways then finally into a small room with a counter running along the back wall. A few kitchen essentials sat along it and a mattress sitting on a box spring made of wooden pallets sat along the wall to the left of the door. Negan motioned to the table sitting in front of the dusty windows on the wall to the right of the door and she willingly sat down in one of the chairs. “Do you know where you are?” he asked as he sat down on the foot of the bed.

"A bedroom.” she answered flatly.

“You are in my bedroom.” He expected some kind of reaction from that, but he got nothing. She assumed by all of his previous comments about her hotness that she was here to do what most adults do in bedrooms. “This is where you’re going to be staying for the foreseeable future.”

She looked up at him and nodded. “Alright. You seem really dominate so I guess it’s a good thing I’m okay with being submissive between the sheets.”

Negan flashed a cheeky smile. “That’s not what you’re here for, but I’m glad you would be cool with that.”

“Whatever you want, Negan.” she replied lacking all emotion.

“It’s not what I want.” His words made her tilt her head in curiously. “My wives are gonna be pissed when they find out you’re in here. They aren’t allowed to stay the night with me.”

“Then why am I allowed to?” she asked not understanding what he was doing or why he was doing it.

“Does it matter?” he asked with a small smile.

“I guess not, your wives…your problems.” She said with a shrug, the fact that he had multiple wives failing to get a reaction out of her.

"Just for curiosity's sake, when was the last time you had your brains fucked out?" Negan asked expecting some kind of look or reaction from his blunt question although he should’ve known better from her previous statement.

She simply leaned back in the chair she was sitting in and crossed her feet at the ankles. "Years ago."

"What about the last time that cold as shit heart of yours actually felt something?" He asked as he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees.

"Are you my therapist now?" She asked not understanding why he was asking her these stupid questions.

"Just...answer the question." Negan said with a small smile at her slightly smart ass tone. The first variation he had heard from her.

"I can't pinpoint it." She answered with a shrug.

"Okay." Negan sighed, getting tired of attempting to get information out of her for now, as he stood up and motioned for her to do the same. "Here's what's gonna happen." He opened the bedroom door and waved his hand for her to walk out first then followed her out. "My man here is going to bring you to the first class bathroom where you're going to shower while you're doing so he'll have someone hunt you down some fresh clothes. When you're done with that he's gonna take you to the doc. and have a full physical done. From there you and your chart will be delivered back here for the night." He looked from her to the man, "catch all that?" The man simply nodded.

So she took a shower then dressed in a clean, long sleeved red plaid button up, faded black skinny Jean's. The only personal belonging’s she was allowed to keep were the triangle locket she always wore and her black glitter converse. After that she was brought to the doctor’s office where he performed several different tests which included a pregnancy test, well woman’s exam and even her teeth got looked at. Finally after all the results had been written down and stuck inside a Minneola folder, she was delivered back to Negan’s door.

Negan opened the door, motioned her inside then told the man to, “fuck off”. "How did it go?" He asked and she silently handed him the folder. He tossed it aside. "I want you to tell me."

"Clean bill of health. No STDs no lumps in my breasts, I'm at a healthy weight with a healthy blood pressure and I have three tiny cavities that aren't in immediate need of fixing." She answered telling him what she thought was the most important. "Oh and, surprise surprise, I'm not pregnant."

"Good, now," Negan motioned her to the chair at the table that she had been sitting in before then sat down in the chair across from her. It was only then that she noticed the covered plate and two empty ones sitting on the table. "Let's eat."

He lifted the shiny metal cover to reveal two pork chops, grilled carrots, broccoli and cauliflower then strawberries and cantaloupe for desert. He placed a pork chop on her plate and started to put a spoon of vegetables on her plate when she spoke up. "Not to sound ungrateful, but cauliflower makes me gag."

"Alright then." He sighed and picked out all the cauliflower and put it on his plate then gave her two carrots and kept two for himself then scraped all the broccoli onto her plate. "I fuckin’ hate broccoli." He explained and she simply turned her eyes to her plate.

She waited for him to start eating then seeing him watching her expectantly she took a bite of pork. After she swallowed her bite of food and didn’t keel over, she glanced up at Negan and said, "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He smiled at her then shoveled in a bite of pork. "So, what's you're real name, Dead Girl?" It occurred to her then that he had failed to ask her that before and she didn’t think to tell him.

"Kelly Taylor." She answered then returned to eating. They ate in comfortable silence until they were done. Then Negan gathered up their empty plates and cups and set them outside the door to be picked up by one of his people.

Kelly then watched as he pulled off his boots and socks. She thought he was just getting comfortable, but then his shoes where followed by his scarf, jacket and t-shirt. "I'm going to bed. You're welcome to join me or you can make yourself a palette on the floor, you're choice." Her eyes followed his finger to a brown cabinet.

Much to Negan’s surprise, Kelly grabbed a blanket out of the cabinet, pushed most of his sheet and comforter to his side then laid down on the other side of the queen sized mattress and turned her back on him as she covered up. Soon after he turned off the lights her light snores filled the room.

Tags:  @jodiereedus22​ @mtngirlforever​ @zzeacat​ @winchester-angel​ @moodygrip​ @hells-mistress​ @lighthope08​ @sapphire1727​ @luisadontcurr​ @ilkaeliseb​ @twdeadfanfic @ravengalaxia @1lluminaticonfirmed @my-current-fandom-is @coffeebooksandfandom @lonewolf471 @gruffle1 @mblaqgi @calumstuffs @beltzboys2015-blog @neontiger007 @sourwolf-sterek32 @dixonluvv @dotslabyrinth @kayln97 @art-flirt @cbarter @chocolatealmondmilkk @chocolatealmondmilk-blog  @daryldixonandfrogs @feartheendlesssummer @brooklynalpha @topsykretts926-blog @lonewolf471 @baseballbitch116 @felicisimor

[aprilmmourning]

“It’s me and you, babe, till the end.” Chapter 32

Negan x OC // word count:  1555

Masterlist : x

Wrote this probably about two years ago. Since then, a lot has happened in the show, which I’m not up to date to as far as the details go. Haven’t watched the show since... Can’t even remember. Seen bits and pieces here and there but haven’t seen the last two? three? seasons and have a lot to catch up on. Quite the task.

Both Simon and Rob had looked confused when she first exited the room with Negan, then decided to ignore her when Negan barked orders at them. He told Rob to take the day off, joking that he had one of the easiest job there was, so there wasn't much relaxing to be done. Simon was given a task too, he was supposed to find out if Dwight had returned and meet them outside, Negan wanted to show her Eugene. She didn't ask what he meant by that and knowing she'd soon find out, got a little anxious. Knowing Negan, it could be literally anything. Even though he said it wasn't bad, she didn't entirely believe him when he said that.

Letting go of her hand, Negan opened the door to the stairs and she went in first, starting to go down. He followed her, whistling a tune as they descended slowly, Emilia didn't want to move that much, she had made progress by staying in bed for days and she didn't want to ruin it all now. "You're really not lying?" she asked, after a man had walked by them, going up. "About what?" "Eugene." Negan sighed, "You'll see for yourself, any minute now. Have some damn patience." Fine. Emilia decided not to ask anything else if she got answers like that and just kept walking the stairs, getting a little winded already, she hadn't walked this much in days. Finally they got all the way down to the right floor and Emilia sighed, her sights on the door that eventually lead out. "Now, hold up," Negan said behind her before she could reach the door and she turned around, her eyebrows raised. "You know the rules," he said, looking down at her, the bat resting on his shoulder. "What rules?" she asked, not a hundred percent sure what he meant. Negan started smiling, "The rules baby. Come on, don't tell me that after everything, it all went in one ear and right out the other," he said and tsked, still smiling. "I'm not going to do anything," she said, rolling her eyes, "I told you, I'll behave," she said, then smiled, "I'll try." Negan reached his hand over and put it behind her neck, his arm resting on her shoulder, then leaned closer, "I really need you to behave after all that shit that went down," he said with a low voice, "Now, I'm not going to warn or threaten you, 'cause I don't want to do that, but..." "But you'll do something if I do something, right?" she asked, not happy about what he was saying. She could behave, damn it, she didn't need to be threatened. Negan smiled, the smile not reaching his eyes, "Probably not, but it sure fucking sucks when you're not listening to me. It makes me look really fucking bad around here. They'll start to think I've got a soft spot for you," he joked. "God forbid people think you actually have a heart," she joked back, crossing her arms across her chest, "Oh wait, you don't." Negan chuckled at that, leaning closer,  "I think yours is enough for both of us, huh?" he whispered, "And on second thought, I'm pretty goddamn sure they already noticed I'm crazy about you, there's more than enough evidence to back that shit up," he said, smirking, then moved his hand over her shoulder, turning her around and lead her towards the exit, "Now, let's go darlin', I got something to show ya."

When they got there, she couldn't believe her eyes. Eugene looked completely fine, well-adjusted even. Her and Negan were standing on a raised ledge near the main entrance, looking down at the gated area with roamers. Eugene was minding his business, he hadn't noticed them observing him yet. "See, told you," Negan said, then pulled her closer to him, his arm slung over her shoulders. "So, what's the deal with him?" she asked, narrowing her eyes towards Eugene, squinting because of the bright sun. She wondered if Eugene switched sides so easily or was he pretending, it seemed this option was better than to rot in a cell. "He's valuable, smart. Has a lot of great ideas. You should listen to him speak," Negan said, chuckling, "Shit, you probably have. Look at me forgetting you're from the same group." She had heard him talk though, and she knew he could talk his way out of anything, she remembered hearing how he got Abraham and Rosita to help him and keep him safe. "Huh," she said, still finding it hard to believe what she was seeing, "I don't know what to say." Eugene glanced at their direction, then had to do a double take, seeing who was watching him. Negan waved at him with the bat since he wasn't in the hearing distance, a big grin on his face and Eugene waved back, looking a little hesitant. "You surprised I treat people well when they contribute? When they do their part?" Negan asked, turning to face her. Suddenly a cool gust of wind blew and she shivered, obviously not wearing enough layers for this weather. "No, it's just," she said, pushing her hair out of her face since the wind was flying them all around, "Nothing," she said, not knowing how to express what she was thinking, nor if she should. She got a feeling that Eugene was pretending, that he was still loyal to Rick. It wouldn't make sense he switched sides this easy, since Negan killed Abraham and those two were close. She looked at Eugene again, wondering what he was up to. "Spill it out," Negan said and she saw that he was staring at her, but her eyes were peeled on Eugene, now standing with his back towards them. "Nothing," she said, then turned to Negan and smiled, "I'm just surprised." Negan looked almost offended but then brushed it off. He glanced at Eugene, "You want to talk to him?" Emilia thought she heard wrong. "Talk to him? Me?" Negan looked back to her, a glint in his eyes, "Go and ask him why he's such a pussy and didn't help you when Jason was so goddamn obviously trying to kill you." Emilia didn't answer, which seemed to amuse Negan for some reason. Maybe she had a look on her face. "You really up for gettin' yourself hurt over someone like that?" The look in his eyes darkened as he looked at her intently. "Let it go already," she said with a low voice, "I don't want to talk about it." He scoffed, "Got you feeling pretty fucking stupid I guess-" Emilia interrupted by elbowing him into the stomach, which made him chuckle but at least he shut up. She ignored Negan and turned her eyes back to Eugene, observed him as he strolled around the walker pit, occasionally writing something down. It was odd, seeing him that calm over there. But when she thought about it a little more, she understood that he had no other option to be that way. Stay calm and obedient to survive. Maybe you should've done the same.

Someone approaching from behind stole her attention away from Eugene, and she looked back to see Simon apporaching. "Hey, boss," he said and stopped a few steps away from them. Negan turned to him too, "What is it?" "Uh, need to talk," he glanced at Emilia, "In private." "Shit," Negan said and turned to Emilia, "I thought we'd go and talk to Eugene over there, that would've been goddamn interesting." Emilia thought that she would've skipped that gladly. Now that she was out here, she wanted to go back up. She started noticing that people stared and it made her a bit uncomfortable. "You can get yourself up there by yourself, can you?" Negan asked her, smiling. She nodded. "Go," Negan placed his hand on her back an pushed her gently. So, as she had no other option but to go, she did excatly that, without any protesting or questions. She did wonder what it was that Simon needed to tell him in private. Maybe it was about Amber, maybe it was something else. There were a hundred options and while she slowly and carefully walked upstairs, she thought about all of those.

-

"You see him?" "Yes." "Can you do it?" Rosita asked, sounding almost excited. "Nah, I don't think I can, Emilia's there." "What?" "Yeah, Eugene too." "And? Take the shot," Rosita insisted, itching for Sasha to shoot and kill Negan already. "I can't, she's... She's blocking him." "Well, shit. You sure there isn't a way?" "No." "What are they doing?" "I don't know, talking. Eugene looks like he's ordering people around." "What?" "Yeah, guess they're both pretty content over there," Sasha said, disappointed at what she was seeing. Rosita didn't see, but she sounded disappointed too, "Pretending, they're both pretending." "I sure hope so," Sasha said, still looking at Negan and Emilia through the scope. Emilia's back was towards her, so she didn't see what she was doing, but Negan was smiling and talking to her, looking all happy, something he shouldn't get to be. Not after everything, and she was intent on making sure she saw the day he was dead and be the one that killed him.

[trashcanband4]

Therapy Sessions Ch. 2

Chapter 1

Pairing: NeganxOc. Setting: The Sanctuary. Warnings: None other than Negan being OOC. Summary: Negan begins attempting to get to know the OC (Kelly.).

The next day she woke up to an empty bed and a note left on the dining table. As she picked it up she read aloud, “You are to stay here until I return. Make yourself at home but touch my stash of food and you will be sorry.” She scoffed and tossed the note back on the table.

“Right, so what am I supposed to do here all day?” As she looked around the room she spotted a few books, a small stereo and some CD’s on a shelf sitting to the right of the door, but none of them peaked her interest. Finally she popped a cd into the stereo and started working out.

She had just finished doing cool down stretches when Negan walked in. Lucille propped up on his shoulder. “Good morning.” Negan told her seeing that she wasn’t still in bed like he expected she’d be given the events of the previous night and how late they went to sleep. If he had the chance to sleep in he’d definitely take it, but he had a community to run.

“Mornin’.” She answered as she sat down on the foot of the bed, leaving the dining chairs at the table for Negan. He walked into the room and leaned the sparkling clean Lucille against the bookshelf by the door then sat down in the dining chair crossing his legs at the knees.

“So what’s in store for me today?” she asked bringing her socked feet up onto the bed to sit cross-legged.

“You and I have the rest of the day together and I intend on spending every second of it picking at your dead little soul.” He replied as he sat down in the armchair.

“Why?” she asked, emotionlessly, as usual.

“Because what’s dead doesn’t stay dead these days.” He replied with a cocky smile.

“You think you can bring me back to life?” she asked, her voice turning hard as she crossed her arms over her chest. She wanted to tell him that the walls she had built up, walls constructed from the fallen bodies of her loved ones, were impossible to tear down. However she kept her mouth shut, because telling him that would be letting him in and that wasn’t going to happen.

“I’m going to try.” He answered finding it ironic that while he was going to attempt to fix her, Daryl was being held in a tiny room in which Negan intended on breaking the man.

“Good luck with that.” She shrugged and dropped her arms from across her chest.

“Tell me about who you were before the world got flushed down the shitter.” He told her as he uncrossed his legs and leaned forward placing his elbows on his knees.

“And if I don’t want to?” she asked flatly.

“Then I’ll ask you to tell me what you did for a living.” He countered.

“And if I say that I don’t want to answer that question either?” she asked already getting tired of him and his pointless questions.

“Then I’ll tell you that I am being very generous keeping you in here with me. I could easily put you in the room next to Daryl’s where you can listen to him screaming and crying as fucking Easy Street play’s on loop and you will be fed the same shitty as fuck dog food sandwiches as him.” He told her as his face turned cold and his eyes glaring.

She sighed and crossed her arms over her chest again. “Fine, before the dead came back to eat the living, I was a wife and mother. I was chasing two kids around a three bedroom house, changing diapers and getting baby food thrown in my face. My husband worked two jobs to make ends meet. Things were hard, but I wouldn’t and couldn’t have asked for a better family.”

“Do you have children back at Alexandria?” he asked and she simply shook her head no. “What happened to them?”

“Near the beginning my youngest was taken from me by a virus that spread through our community like wildfire. We didn’t have the resources to handle it. The poor baby didn’t stand a chance. He’d always had a weak immune system. He was three.” She answered not looking at Negan, but at her hands in her lap as she picked at her cuticles. “My oldest, was taken from me by some ass holes that called themselves the wolves. I was helping stock the pantry and my husband was out on a supply run when they attacked. She was home alone. The wolves slit her throat.” She glanced up at Negan then back down to her hands. “She was nine.”

“So is that when you started shutting down?” he asked quietly.

“No, I felt every single bit of that shit.” She answered honestly.

“You mentioned a husband. He dead now?” Negan pressed.

“After we lost our son things between us became…strained. We only stayed together because of our daughter. So when we lost her-” she cut herself off not wanting to elaborate too much. “Let’s just say things got really, really ugly. He eventually left the community. I don’t know where he went and I don’t care to.” The whole time she answered his questions her voice stayed the same, flat, uncaring tone as usual.

“Damn… that all sucks.” he sighed and rubbed at his chin.

“The world sucks now.” She shrugged one shoulder.

“You’re not wrong about that.” He replied as he leaned back in the chair again and brought his booted foot up to rest on his knee.“Let’s lighten things up a bit.” He said and Kelly stopped picking at her cuticles. “Coffee or tea?”

“French Vanilla chai tea.” She answered quickly.

“I’m a black coffee guy myself. What TV shows were you into before?” he told her information about himself even though she didn’t ask.

“The Big Bang Theory, South Park and as embarrassing as it is to admit, The Bold and The Beautiful.” She answered.

“The Bold and The Beautiful was that shitty soap opera right?” he asked and she nodded. “I wasn’t much into tv myself. Did you have a celebrity crush?” He picked up a baseball that was on the floor next to the dining chair and started tossing it in the air and catching it.

“It was always a tie between Channing Tatum and Jensen Ackels.” She answered and for the first time Negan heard what he thought was a smile in her voice.

“Seriously, Jensen Ackles?” he asked as he stopped tossing the ball and cocked a brow at her.

“Hey, dude was hot as hell.” She argued with a small smile that was no where near reaching her eyes, but it was a start. “Just saying.”

“You know Lucille used to tell me that Jensen reminded her of me what I was younger.” He commented quirking Kelly’s interest for the first time.

“You’re bat talks to you?” she asked and he knew she meant it sarcastically but the tone wasn’t there.

“Lucille was my wife. My real wife… before all of this.” He explained and Kelly just made an “Ah” face. “Dog or Cat?” he asked going back to this or that questions.

“Dog, you?” she asked figuring that if he was going to get to know her and keep her in his room for the foreseeable future, she should start getting to know him too.

“Dog. Cats are too fuckin’ moody.” He replied. “Toast or eggs?”

“Eggs.” She answered then motioned for him to answer. He smirked a little, thinking it a good thing that she wanted him to answer his questions too.

“Toast.” Negan answered than asked, “Cardio or Weights?”

“Cardio. Stamina matters these days.” She answered.

“Weights.” He smirked again.

“Cake or pie?”

“Neither. I don’t do sweets.” She answered.

“What’s the matter with you? Sweets are what make life worth living.” He asked dramatically with a shake of his head.

“I’ve never had a sweet tooth. Even as I kid I didn’t eat a lot of candy.” She said with a shrug.

“So what did you do on your birthday, stick candles in a pot roast?” he asked and she cracked the smallest of smiles.

“I had a cake, I just didn’t eat it.” she answered as she dropped her feet to hang off of the side of the bed, not quite touching the floor. “What about you, cake or pie?”

“Classic apple pie with the sugared lattice on top.” He answered. “So you don’t eat sweets at all, none, ever?” he asked stuck on the sweets thing.

She sighed and tilted her head back, people always had this reaction when she told them that she never ate chewy or hard candies or cake or cookies. “I will eat mint chocolate chip ice cream every other blue moon, but that’s it.”

“Mint chocolate chip? Out of all the awesome ice cream flavors you chose the most disgusting one.”

Kelly just rolled her eyes at him. “Okay so out of all the awesome ice cream flavors what’s your favorite Mr. Judgmental?” she asked sarcastically.

“Butter pecan all the way baby.” He answered with a shit eating grin that showed off his dimples and perfect teeth.

“Now that’s disgusting.” She said with a point at him. “Bath or shower?” she flipped things around and asked him a question. He didn’t seem to notice, too caught up in the conversation.

“Shower.” He answered.

“Same, I never understood how someone could soak in a soup of their own filth.” She added and he smiled at her, thinking the same thing. “Hamburger or taco?”

“Hamburger.” He answered without missing a beat.

“Yeah you look like a hamburger guy.” She said giving him an appraising gaze.

“Let me guess, tacos?” he asked and she nodded. “Most important quality in a partner, Intelligence or sense of humor?”

“Why can’t I have both?” she asked and he shook his head at her. “Fine, sense of humor.”

“Intelligence.” He answered “Cups in the cupboard right side up or up side down?”

“Up side down. It’s more stable and causes fewer chips.” She answered. “Toilet paper on the dispenser facing up or down?”

“Down, what kind of psycho puts it on facing up?” he asked with a smile.

“My ex-husband. It drove me absolutely batty. That and leaving his socks right next to the laundry basket instead of in it.” She said getting more rapped up in the conversation than she had meant to.

“Well, as you can see I’m a pretty tidy guy so we should get along just fine.” His statement brought her back down to earth, remembering that she was once again going to be sharing a bed with this man. A man she hardly knew anything about. Noticing her sudden silence and her eyes that stared down at the floor he stood up from the chair and moved to sit next to her, a few inches of space between them. “What are you thinkin’ about, Dead Girl?” he asked as he bumped his shoulder against hers as if they had been friends for years.

“I…am… thinking about how I don’t think you’re going to be able to…fix, me. I know I’m fucked up. I watched you turn two men’s head into tomato soup and yet I still have no problem sharing a bed with you. A normal person, someone in their right mind, wouldn’t have willingly climbed into your truck, slept in your bed, or be sitting here with you like you couldn’t be the literal death of me.” She finally looked across her shoulder at his bright hazels looking at her as he listening closely. “If you can’t fix me will you at least make my death quick and painless?”

“I’m not going to kill you, darlin’. I refuse to except that you are un-repairable.” He replied.

She sighed and fell backwards onto the bed. “I hate this, you making me remember my past, trying to get into my head…”

“Well,” he started as he turned around and threw one of his legs over hers, straddling her, “there could be perks for both of us.”

She bit her lip as she placed her hands on his chest then slid them up to rest on each side of his neck, making him smirk cockily. “You can get into my head, or you can get into my pants. You can’t have both.” She patted him on the shoulder then slid down off of the bed, her nose brushing the crotch of his pants as she did. “Sorry Charlie.” She said as she stood up then turned to face him.

“Okay, then I’ll ask you some more questions.” He said as she moved around to sit in the middle of the bed.

“God, you’re borning.” She groaned then sat down in the dining chair to answer more pointless, boring questions.

Tags:  @jodiereedus22​​ @mtngirlforever​​ @zzeacat​​ @winchester-angel​​ @moodygrip​​ @hells-mistress​​ @lighthope08​​ @sapphire1727​​ @luisadontcurr​​ @ilkaeliseb​​ @twdeadfanfic​​ @ravengalaxia​​ @1lluminaticonfirmed​​ @my-current-fandom-is​​ @coffeebooksandfandom​​ @lonewolf471​​ @gruffle1​​ @mblaqgi​​ @calumstuffs​​ @beltzboys2015-blog​​ @neontiger007​​ @sourwolf-sterek32​​ @dixonluvv​​ @dotslabyrinth​​ @kayln97​​ @art-flirt​ @cbarter​​ @chocolatealmondmilkk​​​ @chocolatealmondmilk-blog​​​  @daryldixonandfrogs​​ @feartheendlesssummer​​ @brooklynalpha​​ @topsykretts926-blog​​ @lonewolf471​​ @baseballbitch116​​ @felicisimor​

[writebythenight]

The Silence

Summary: 

She was Rose. 

His Rose. 

And he was the god damned weeds that would taint and poison every inch of her until there was nothing left. He knew that but it wouldn't stop him from dragging her down if that's what it took. He couldn't do this alone, she was the sun that gave life and he was the poison that took it away.

Chapter One // Chapter Two // Chapter Three // Chapter Four // Chapter Five // Chapter Six // Chapter Seven // Chapter Eight // Chapter Nine // Chapter Ten // Chapter Eleven // Chapter Twelve // Chapter Thirteen // Chapter Fourteen // Chapter Fifteen // Chapter Sixteen // Chapter Seventeen // Chapter Eighteen // Chapter Nineteen // Chapter Twenty

[writebythenight]

The Silence

Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my mediocre ideas!

Summary: Rick asks the Psychologist survivor, Rose(OC) to talk to Negan. 

Chapter Fifteen

This fucking woman never stopped fucking surprising him.

"I can't ask you to do that." Even though he felt his spirits lift higher than they had since he'd been locked up.

"Okay well don't ask." She shrugged. "I'm doing it either way."

"And just how are you plannin' to Shawshank me outta here, sweetheart?" He was leaning on the bars his hands high above his head making him feel very imposing to Rose.

"At night." She began.

"Yeah...?" He dragged the word on wanting her to elaborate.

"Don't you worry your pretty little head, big guy." She smirked leaving him shaking his head slowly, smirking right back as he watched her leave.

X X X X

Tonight was the night.

The luke warm water trickled over Rose's body and she cherished every last drop knowing this wouldn't be the norm any longer. She was well aware of everything she was giving up for this man who in the grand scheme she didn't know all that well. Knowing of the Negan before he was locked up didn't help, nobody could have been through what he had for the last two years and stay the same. She just had to figure out if it had been for the better or for the worse.

She was standing by her morals!

She couldn't let somebody die as a warning to the new world, not after everything!

That's what she continued to tell herself. When she tricked Scott into giving her the keys to Negan's cell, when she stole Lucille from the "secret" part of the weapons store that everybody knew about, even when she looked Tara in the eyes and lied about what she would be doing that night.

Feeling fully clean she wrapped herself in her scratchy towel and stared at the clothes she had laid out. Practical, warm, the clothes she had turned up to Alexandria in. Thick black jeans that were fraying but had no holes, a vest, a long sleeved stripy, burgundy and white top, a thick jacket and thick dark green coat. Her boots were new and so were the thick socks. Both of which were hard to come by out there.

Her bag was packed, hidden inside the wardrobe all she had to do was wait. Wait for 3am when in the silence of the night her new life would begin.

X X X X

Two sets of keys clinked together in her hand as she approached one of the only three cars remaining with fuel. This was what she felt most guilty about, she knew it was the very last fuel until they could perfect making it themselves.

She was only going to borrow it. The note she left in her room had told them so with co ordinates of where to find it.

He was sat up on his cot, his knee jittering nervously. He was nervous for different reasons to Rose. This was his last chance whereas she was worried about being caught, about living out on the road again but at least she wouldn't be alone this time. Negan could handle himself, that was a definite.

He didn't say a word as he stood up,  there was nothing to say. The lock clicked loudly and the gate swung open. "You're sure about this?" He was still stood in the shadows.

"Don't make me regret this." She said the seriousness of the situation portrayed in her voice. "Please."

"I won't." He said. No jokes. He needed her to know that he knew the severity of the situation. He walked out of the shadows  of his cell for what he hoped would be the last time and stopped right in front of her.

"We don't exactly have time for staring into each others eyes longingly..." She whispered.

He smirked and motioned towards the door. "You sure you've got this?" She had told him the plan but that didn't mean he was comfortable leaving his only chance in the hands of somebody else, even if it was her. He had no choice though.

Rose started walking to the door and he noticed her entire countenance had changed, she was stood taller, more on edge, aware and he hated that she had to be this way now. It was his turn to look after her, he owed her and he wanted to. He realised it was the first time since Lucille that he wasn't doing it as part of a deal. He just wanted her safe.

"You put this on." She handed him a baggy grey hoody which he pulled on and made sure the hood was covering his face. "If anybody comes, you hide. I'm sorry but the only way we're gonna get out of here is if I take advantage of the fact that they trust me." He nodded and noticed her take a deep breath as she walked out of the building and up the stairs beside him.

She peered over the last step and he found himself unable to stop watching her, this was the first  clue of how she had been before Alexandria. She nodded her head to gesture that they were going to move and they both fell into step, Rose guiding them. They didn't hit any trouble until they turned the last corner before getting to the car.

Negan had been worried that he might have lost his touch having been in that damn cell for so long but when Rose shoulder barged him into a large bush without him so much as being prepared for it, well that confirmed it. His mind caught up quick and he realised there must have been somebody coming.

"...didn't feel too good." He heard Rose lie.

"You want some company?" That was Scott, he always fuckin' hated the big bear looking fuck.

"Oh no..." Rose said a little too quickly before recovering. "I mean, it's late you should get some sleep."

"Yeah I guess I will. See ya tomorrow, Rose."

"Yeah, bye." Negan heard the sadness in her voice and if Scott hadn't then he was a moron.

"Get out here... quick." She whisper shouted. If it had been any other situation she would have laughed seeing big bad Negan crawling out of a bush, holding his back with leaves in his hair. Unfortunately she couldn't enjoy the moment and dragged him the last little way to the car, popping the boot.

"This better fuckin' work." He grumbled, climbing in the boot.

"You're really not in the position to complain here, asshole."

"Yes, sir." He said with a laugh as she closed the boot on the scrunched up six foot something man.

The second she started the car she would have to be quick, the sound of an engine travelled far in what was now such a silent world. What used to be background noise was out of the ordinary these days.                  

The rumbling of the engine sent a flood of adrenaline through Rose and as she drove up to the gate her stomach sank further and further.

"Fuck. Shit. Fucking fuck." She chanted under her breath as she drove, right up until Aaron came up to the drivers window.

"What are you doing?" He looked worried and it made her guilt even worse if possible.

"You need to let me out. Right now." She demanded. "Quickly!"

"What the hell is going on, Rose?"

"I can't tell you. You just... you have to trust me." Her voice broke just like she knew it would no matter how hard she fought it.

"Are you okay?" He asked. There was nothing in his face but concern, no accusation, no anger.

I'm so sorry, Aaron.

"Nobodies gonna get hurt okay." Not anybody in Alexandria anyway, she did have a murderer in her boot after all. What the actual fuck am I doing?! "That's all you need to know okay. Just let me out right now."

"No." He said simply while feeling for his radio, she was afraid of this. "I'm so sorry Aaron." She whispered as she pointed the gun she had been holding by her side at him just as he had lifted the radio to his mouth. "Get them to open the gate."

He stared at her, so confused and the fact that he still wasn't angry almost made her put this plan to bed all together.

"You wouldn't." He said with conviction.

"Don't make me. Please don't make me." She never ever would but she just had to hope, as the tears rolled down her cheeks that he wouldn't call her bluff.

She didn't know if she was relieved or terrified when he gestured for them to open the gate. She heard someone yell, "what the hell" but Aaron just gave them a look. "Do it."

Then the gates opened. Simple as that, Negan was free and Rose was the reason. Her foot hit the gas and she heard the dull thud of Negan probably being thrown back in the boot.

Good. She thought, it served him right for making her feel something for him, for getting her into this situation. Looking into the rear view mirror she saw Aaron talking on his radio, someone would come after her, if not straight away then as soon as they noticed Negan was gone but she just had to hope they wouldn't use one of the cars. That was what she was counting on.

Rose's mind went back and forth as she drove until sun up, not stopping even to let him out of the boot as they needed to get as far as they could before stopping for even a second.

She had nearly turned around a ridiculous amount of times but it was too late, she knew that, there was nothing to go back for but had there ever really been anything for her to go back to?

XXXX

When the boot finally opened Negan sat up slowly.

"I felt like this was all a trick to get me in a smaller, much more fuckin' uncomfortable box to rot away in for a sec there, doll." Rose said nothing to him, just stared at him. "Are you okay?"

"No." She told him. "But I will be." She nodded at him and all he could do was admire this woman who had single handedly gotten him out of that hell hole more effectively than any of those shower of shits he had led for so long could have. "We need to keep moving." She said matter of factly,  walking to the back of the car and opening the door before reaching inside and pulling out a bag. "Here."

"You really thought of everything." He chuckled as he climbed out of the boot and stretched his long limbs.

"You've no idea." She said quietly putting the bag on the floor this feet before reaching back in. When she came back out with his old leather jacket in one hand and Lucille in the other he honest to god nearly broke down crying. She really is a fucking angel.

"I thought...I..." He just shook his head, speechless. She had actually made him speechless. "Well shit, angel..." He approached her slowly and took both items in his hands like greeting an old lover. "I thought... Michonne said she was gone..." It took Rose a second to realise he was talking about the bat.

She remembered reading an article once named the psychology of stuff and things... it talked about how an object can become an extension of ones self, how it can be a way of someone  displaying their status or power. That was what she used to think the bat was to him but now she knew it was so much more than that. It was a physical representation of the loss of somebody he hadn't dealt with losing, a way of tricking his mind into feeling the comfort of still having her by his side.

She didn't know where she stood in all of that and she hated that a bat was making her insecure but the way he so gently caressed the bat was almost uncomfortable to watch.

"Michonne probably said that to hurt you."

"Well she fuckin' hit me right where it hurt like fuck." He rasped.

"Come on." She got his attention back on her and he nodded before pulling his leather jacket on, it was a little baggy but it felt amazing.

"So what's the plan, doll?"

"Get the fuck outta dodge." She slammed the door and started to walk up the street, Negan, his bat on one shoulder and his bag on the other as he caught up to her.

"WOO!" He shouted. "This feels fuckin' good!" He was elated and that was only to be expected, Rose just hoped he wouldn't be so elated that he'd get them both killed.

"What the fuck have I done?" She groaned only for Negan to laugh loudly.

A/N

This took longer to upload than I thought it would because I wasn't too happy with it. I'm still not! If you think the same I promise every single chapter from now onwards will make up for it.

SHITS ABOUT TO GET REAL.

Chapter Sixteen

[writebythenight]

The Silence

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Summary: Rose(OC) is assigned the job of talking to Negan in his Cell.

"But nothing is better sometimes Once we've both said our goodbyes Let's just let it go Let me let you go" - Billy Eilish, when the party's over

Chapter Thirteen

When Rose got to the cell it was only Michonne stood outside looking guilty.

It only took her a second to move to the side, Michonne knew there was no point in arguing with her, it hadn't worked with Maggie.

"So I can be with my wife!" She heard Negan sounding like a broken man as she entered and the realization that he finally was exactly that turned her stomach. "So I can be with Lucille!" He was curled up on the floor like a child crying for his Mother would.

"I knew it wouldn't be long." Maggie sneered at her. It was the first time Rose had taken any notice of her stood there with the crowbar in her hand but that made her jump into action, standing in front of Negan. She didn't miss the surprised look on Maggie's face, the treachery wasn't lost on Rose either and her heart broke at the thought of losing Maggie's respect but she had assumed that had already been long gone.

"No!" The man she had come to care about wailed from behind her. "Let her do it! I should be dead." He cried. "It was supposed to be you, it has to be you! Because I can't do it. I can't do it I've tried but I can't." Rose turned when he said that with silent tears falling. "I can't be like this. Please, please don't make me stay like his. Kill me please."

The revelation of how he truly felt about his situation came as a blow to her. Rose knew he was far from happy but part of her always hoped he was too cocky, too self assured to not believe he would never get out. How naive she had been to not see it, he had hidden it so well. Seeing him suffer this was enough to make letting him live or not a dilemma even to her, the one who had always thought there was more to him, a reason to keep him alive. But she said it herself so often. It was cruel. What right did she have to go against his wishes?

"Get back in your cell." Maggie said quietly and Rose had an awful moment where she didn't know if she was relieved or felt sorry for him.

"No... no...no..." Negan was begging, almost sounding insane with his feelings, his face full of pain. Rose knew that was because he was in such excruciating mental pain. "Why?"

"I came to kill Negan." Maggie had stepped around Rose as soon as the woman had turned to face Negan and was surprised when she made no move to follow. "I came to kill Negan, you're already worse than dead." Rose knew she was right she could see it all over Negan's face. "That settles it." Maggie threw the keys to Rose, they hit her side then fell to the floor clanging noisily. As Maggie walked out she stopped just for a second beside Rose and whispered quiet enough for only her to hear, "I'll never forgive you for this, Rose." And then she was gone, Negan still crying in his position on the floor whilst muttering to himself.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this. It wasn't supposed to be like this."

Rose had never not known how to handle this man... even when she thought she didn't she always came up with something. Not this time. She picked up the keys, wiped her face and went over to him. "Come on..." She said gently but he just looked up at her, the pain in his eyes replaced with this pleading look.

"You do it." He whispered. "You could do it." He became like a mad man reaching out for her and so she knelt down in front of him glad she had left her gun with Scott and her knife was well hidden. "Please."

"No..." Her voice sounded far too much like his had earlier when Maggie refused to kill him. "No way..."

"Please!" He grabbed her face, pushing her hair back from her face which was wet from all the tears. "I can't do this anymore. I can't sit in that cell... please don't make me." He was sobbing still and it was killing her. Would she be able to forgive herself? It was against Rick's wishes to kill him and now even Maggie's but that was only because they could see the strain it was having on Negan, he was struggling. It was against everything she believed in but so was keeping this man completely isolated and alone with the bare necessities. "I can't have you... there's no point anymore. Please." He was becoming frenzied his hands running over her face becoming quick and clumsy, tangling in her hair. He was going mad. Just like they wanted him to.

Her goal had always been to stop that from happening. He was in a kind of pain no pills or behavioral therapy could ease and all she could think about was what she would want it his position.

Rose took out her knife. Sobbing just as much as Negan.

"In a different world... in a different time..." He was murmuring as his hands started to move to her shoulders, her arms, her legs then back up to her face and hair as though he was trying to touch as much of her as he could before... "You'd have been it." His forehead fell to hers as he felt her take the knife from it's sheath. "You know that right, angel?"

She nodded even with the uncertainty that he meant what he was saying to her, either way, she felt it. She hoped that she could see that he meant it in those eyes that hadn't left hers the entire time.

"You've always done right by me. The only one." He cried and she cried with him, slowly shaking her head. She cried for the way it was ending before any of it could even begin, cried for the fact that she actually believed what he said and that this awful situation had brought her the man she had been waiting for. Cried because she hadn't done right by him at all, just sat and talked to him while he continued a descent he couldn't come back from. Cried because fairytales weren't real. She would never get her prince... she was about to kill the beast.

"Do it." His breath was hot on her face as she positioned the knife to the back of his head at the base of his neck. He shivered.

"Do it." His voice was stronger this time and her other hand came up to stroke his face gently. "Get me out of here."

"I..." Rose had a million things to say.

"I know..." Negan whispered. He knew she didn't know what to say even when there was so damn much that they hadn't said, that needed to be said.

Could she really do this?

All she knew was that she couldn't see him like this.

"Do it!" The muscles in her arm twitched the same way her legs aways did when she was near the edge of something high. It burned with the effort of her heart not being able to do what her mind was telling her . It was the right thing to do. The humane thing. Right?

She jumped back with a cry, dropping the knife at the sound of the door crashing open. Negan let out one of his own from the build up of the tension, his body sagging heavily from the mental stress he had just been through.

Nora stood at the door. "Rose theres something happening at the camp. Michonne asked me to get you to follow them! I'll be out here with your gun." She said quickly before leaving the pair both sat on the floor, completely unaware of what she had interrupted.

Rose looked up, wide eyes to see him just staring at the floor, he knew the moment had gone. Maybe the only moment.

What had she been thinking?!

Relief at the interruption flooded her entirely and nothing else but the fact that he was still sat there breathing mattered. Rose dived into the broken man's lap and grabbed his face pulling it up to hers as her lips crashed onto his. He didn't react immediately but Rose didn't mind, this was for her more than him, to know he was there, feel that he was alive. The growl that emitted from his throat shocked her as did the grip he had on her waist underneath her vest top. Her moan at the way his skin felt on hers only made him grip her tighter.

The despair he felt just minutes before was transferred to this kiss as his hands slid over the skin on her back, his other in her hair pulling her closer taking full control of the kiss. This was the spark she was looking for, she thought as his tongue pushed inside her mouth, his beard scratched her cheeks and chin but she didn't care pushing her entire body into him.

"Fuck." He rasped against her lips before taking her bottom lip gently between his own. All they could do was keep up with each other's desperation to feel the other and cling on.

"I'm sorry." She whispered only pulling away an inch. "I couldn't..." she felt her throat getting tight again and kissed him frenziedly instead. He leaned back as he trailed his hands up and down her denim covered legs.

"I shouldn't have asked you." He said gently.

"I'm gonna try and help you okay? I promise!"

He pulled her lips back to his in a deep, slow kiss because he just didn't know how to tell her that he didn't think she could. Kissing her as amazing as it was, as long as he had waited to do it still had an underlying pain in knowing it was probably just a one off after a high tension situation. Her breathy moans were the only music he needed, the spark that was always in her eye finally igniting as he touched her was the best entertainment he could ask for but it still wouldn't be enough. But for now as her soft lips brushed against his it was all he needed.

"Shit." She cursed. "I need to go. I'm so sorry." Just like that Negan crashed back down to reality.

That's how it would always end, her having a life to live outside while he rotted in a cell. Nothing could make the life he was living a happy one.

She sure made it bearable though. "Don't be sorry." He gave her a small sad smile.

Negan moved her off of him with his hold on her waist before standing up himself. "Stay safe." He gave her a lingering kiss, wondering if it would be the last one and then walked to his cell. Utterly exhausted he lay down on his cot. Neither needed to say anything about the kiss as the kiss had said it all.

"There's going to be a change in here. I'll fight for it."

With that Rose locked the gate and walked out in a daze. What had happened changed everything.

Little did she know that things were about to change even more.

Her heart still had breaking to do.

A/N

Thank you so much to people sharing and commenting, I always say it means a lot but it actually does. As much as I love writing this story and do it because of that, having people along for the ride and enjoying it with me really motivates me to get ideas from my head to paper... or laptop screen. So thanks!

Chapter Fourteen

[writebythenight]

The Silence

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Summary: Rose(OC) is assigned the job of talking to Negan in his Cell.

Chapter Eleven

"Rose... what have you done?" Rick's voice made the seriousness of the situation sink in all at once, even through the radio.

"I had to." She replied.

"Have you any idea how dangerous what you did was? How wrong it could have gone?"

"Yes." She said simply.

"Then why did you do it?!" She winced at how angry he sounded.

"I had to." She shrugged despite him not being able to see her.

"We'll talk about this when I get home."

"Yes, Dad." She sneered thrusting the radio back at Michonne. "I wouldn't change it." She told the woman before storming off.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 24 hours earlier XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Rose!" She heard her voice being shouted just as she was about to leave out of the gate. It had been just over a month since the re-building of the bridge had begun and progress was a little slow so she had decided to see how she could help. Turning she saw one of the younger men who sometimes helped with Negan, Eddie running towards her.

"What's up?"

"It's Negan."

"Of course..." She sighed. "What has he done?"

"You know how theres a bad bug goin' round?" He asked making Rose nod. "I think he's got it. I don't know what to do... Rick's out like always right now and Michonne's at Hilltop."

"Shit..." her shoulders dropped at the prospect of an ill Negan, what the hell was she supposed to do with one of those? "C'mon." She stared to walk back into Alexandria, towards where Negan was, with Eddie following. "Has he been vomiting?"

"Yeah..." Eddie sighed with a look of disgust. "Its seriously disgusting, man. I didn't sign up for that shit you know?!"

"I know." She sighed but all she could think about was poor Negan stuck in that cell so ill.

The smell hit her straight away, it was the unmistakeable scent of illness but in no way she'd ever smelt before and as she entered to see him all but collapsed over a bucket, dry heaving she couldn't help but panic.

"Negan!" She shouted. "Are you okay?" He just lifted his head with a look which made her imagine him saying 'are you fuckin' kiddin' me right now, princess?' in his mind.

"How long has he been like this?" She quickly asked Eddie.

"Shit.. I dunno. He was like this when I came in here this mornin'." She knew that must have meant he'd been like this at least four or five hours.

"Have you given him any water or anything?" She watched incredulously as the young man shook his head and majorly had to bite her tongue to stop her telling him how much of an idiot she thought he was.

What the hell was she supposed to do!? She couldn't keep him in here with no fresh air, no access to a toilet, a dirty floor and a bucket, it just wasn't right but where could she put him?!

"Fuck it." She said. "Give me the keys."

"Wh..what?"

"You heard me." Rose looked him dead in the eyes not backing down. "Give me the damn keys!"

"I can't. Rick said not to give them to anybody except Michonne..."

That shocked her and angered her in equal measures. Did Rick not trust her?

"Look at him!" She spat. "I couldn't give two fucks what Rick says he is not staying in that cell like this!"

"I can't..."

"If you don't give me those keys I will shove my foot so far up your god damn ass that you..."

"Woah woah woah... Rose there's no need for threats." Rose noticed his hand go to the gun on his hip. "I can't give you these keys. You can't let him out!" The young man looked so scared that Rose almost felt sorry for him, she understood, she really did that all this boy knew of Negan was the horrific things he had done.

"Take your hand off of your gun, Eddie." She said calmer now. "This is getting ridiculous. Just give me the keys so I can take him to the infirmary. That's where he needs to be... he's sick. I'll be careful." She stared at him hoping she was giving him her most trustworthy look. He seemed to be calming down and thinking about her requests when a banging from the bars next to them made them both jump, Negan had crashed into them exhaustedly.

"If you lay..." Negan's voice was weak but still rough enough to hold power which amazed her. "...one finger on her fuckin' head I swear to god one day I will make you regret ever leavin' your mama's pussy."

If Rose had thought Eddie had looked frightened before he now looked utterly terrified and her, too shocked at the effect Negan could still have on people even just through stories they had heard about him just stood there wide eyed and slack jawed.

"Okay but you better tell Rick it wasn't my fault." Eddie held his hands up with the keys hanging from one of his fingers which Rose snatched from him, quickly turning to unlock the gate. Later when everything was calmer she would realise that she hadn't thought twice about unlocking it, scooping her arm around his waist and helping him out and into the street with no handcuffs or back up.

Shocked by how light he felt she didn't struggle too much to get him there but was still out of breath by the time she helped him onto the random bed in the infirmary. He instantly laid down on it sighing loudly.

Grabbing the bag she still had on her back from nearly heading out she pulled out her water bottle, grabbed a couple of pillows and stood next to his bed.

"I know you're tired but I need you to drink this okay?" She said softly as she lifted him to push the comfy pillows underneath him, making him moan at the comfort he hadn't had in so long. He took the water and sipped it before relaxing back into the bed with a moan.

"You really are a fuckin' angel." He told her quietly.

"And you really are the devil." She laughed. "Did you see poor Eddie's face?"

"Served him fuckin' right..." He took a deep breath to fight away the nausea. "Even just for the thought of hurtin' you." Rose's heart squeezed at the sentiment, that he would care that much when he was so sick.

"How are you feeling?" She asked grabbing a cloth from the cabinet next to her and wetting it before lifting it to his forehead. His head leaned into the touch even though it was just a cloth, his eyes were heavy but still watching her with a look that Rose had seen many times before. A look that kept her questioning her sanity.

"Better now... thank you."

Rose shrugged. "It's nothing."

"No... it isn't." He sounded drowsy and she desperately hoped it was just exhaustion from the illness as she was not equipped to deal with anything else. "Sip a little more of this for me, okay." She told him as she passed him the bottle. After quickly checking his temperature which was higher than normal but nothing alarming she sat beside him quietly letting him sleep.

She knew it wouldn't be long until somebody came along disturbing their peace but until then she just sat alternating between watching him, feeling creepy about it and then looking out of the window. Every now and again patting his face down with the cold cloth to which he would push his face towards, she even stroked his head very gently the way she always liked when she was sick. He would make little sighing noises when she did certain things like stroke his head and it made it harder and harder to be able to connect this man with the one who did the crimes he was paying for now.

But she would always remember that it was he same man. How could she not?

Sure enough at their peace was ruined as Siddiq entered the room followed by Eddie to see the prisoner and Rose both asleep. Rose still sat in the chair beside his bed only awakened by the loud clearing of the medics throat.

"Oh my god!" She cried as she jumped, Negan beside her groggily sitting up looking for what had made her cry out. "It's fine, lie down." She told him.

"Rose..." Siddiq said to Rose, warily watching Negan. "Can I talk to you? Eddie watch him."

"Oh don't leave me with Eddie..." Negan moaned only to stop whatever he was going to say with one pointed look from Rose.

"What do you think you're doing?!" He snapped at the woman once she had joined him out of the room.

"What do you mean?" Rose chose to act oblivious.

"Rick sends me back here because there's a bug going around... I get to the infirmary and Eddie's stood outside a nervous wreck saying you and Negan bullied him into giving you the keys!"

"That little shit..." She said through gritted teeth. "You're a doctor right... I honestly think you'd have done the same, I couldn't leave him in there! He has the bug and he was being sick into a bucket for gods sake... the conditions he's in aren't fit for a human nevermind a fucking sick one!" The more she talked about it the angrier she got at the fact that she had to explain basic empathy to people. "He needed fresh air, light, comfort, somewhere to be sick that wasn't a metre away!"

He seemed to take in everything she had said and then slowly nodded his head making Rose feel relieved that she might have at least one person on her side. "We'll keep him here until he's better... it usually clears within twenty four hours."

"Thank you." She sighed.

"Don't thank me... you're right." He smiled at her before going to walk back in. "Im gonna go check him over, you coming?"

"Of course." She followed him in and stayed there the whole time before sitting back down next to him.

It was turning dark when Rose trying to get Negan to eat was interrupted. Michonne entered the infirmary to see Rose stood at Negan's bedside holding a bowl and laughing at something he had said, no handcuffs in sight.

"What the hell is this?!" Michonne snapped.

The pair turned to the other woman, Rose's eyes wide while Negan had his usual grin upon his face. He saw Rose's entire body stiffen as she stood in front of his bed and he realised she was standing herself between him and Michonne, he wanted to get out of bed and stand up next to her but he knew it wouldn't help.

"He's sick."

"That's why he's locked up, Rose."

"No..." Rose sighed. "He's actually sick. You know the bug that's been going around? He has it."

"That doesn't explain why he's here."

"You expect me to leave him in a dark, damp cell to be sick into a bucket?" Rose asked with a slight edge to her voice.

"Yes." Michonne said completely stone faced. "Other people have it and I don't see them in the infirmary."

"Yeah because they have houses..."

"He's going back to his cell." Michonne said walking over to them. "Now."

"No. He isn't." Rose held her ground for him, yet again.

"Rose..." Michonne said warningly.

"I couldn't give a shit what you or anybody else has to say this man is sick for gods sake and I am not letting him go back into that cell!"

Negan for once was completely lost for words seeing this woman stand up for him was something he had never expected.

"He's being cuffed to the bed then."

"What if he has to be sick?"

"Your problem not mine."

Rose let out a sound that came close to a growl making Negan watch her in admiration. Sure Rose could handle herself but Michonne was on another level and had a massive sword.

"Rose. I feel a lot better..." he said gently. As much as he preferred the comfy bed and the pillows and having her next to him without bars he didn't want to cause any trouble for her.

"No..." her voice quivered as her shoulders fell.

"It's okay..." he said softly from behind her, completely thrown off by her emotional reaction.

Only a single tear left her eyes before she composed herself, not wanting to show either of the other people in the room how she truly felt about this. Which was just... so unbelievably sad. She cared about Negan no matter if it was just out of concern for another human or a connection with him... she didn't know and it didn't matter. All she knew is that she was sad when she thought of him all alone in that cell.

When she thought about him sick and nobody caring.

Sad at the thought of people not even giving him the time of day when he was probably just so lonely and bored.

That he wouldn't ever have a normal life...

He would never be able to be with someone.

"No! No it's not!" She shouted. "This is cruel! The whole thing is so cruel. For fucks sake he'd be better off dead! Rick decided to keep him alive so it's his responsibility to give him the basic fucking human rights! I'm sick of everyone pretending he's not down there!" Her voice cracked but she kept herself strong. "He is sick." She said with a tone of finality.

"I'm going to radio Rick."

"Yeah you do that!" Rose snapped as she watched the woman leave the room.

"Rose..." Negan started.

"Don't..." she held her hand up to stop him still feeling a little vulnerable and not wanting to talk about it but of course Negan didn't care. He grabbed the wrist of the hand she held up and dragged her to where he was sitting on the bed, wrapping his arms around her, one hand on the back of her head to hold her in the crook of his neck.

She stood between his legs in a very intimate way and let her arms fall around his waist as she let it all out.

"Why the fuck am I the one who's crying?!" She laughed in between tears.

"Is it that time of the month, darlin?" His voice was a quiet rumble, her favourite way to hear his voice. She punched him in the side while her other arm still wrapped around him. "Seriously though, Rose." He held her face inbetween his hands and looked her in the eyes. "I don't deserve you're tears... I did things that I chose to do. Bad, fucked up shit." He pulled her back into the crook of his neck rocking side to side. "I don't deserve them. I don't." He whispered.

"I know you don't..." she cried knowing that part of the reason that she was so upset was the confusion she felt towards her feelings for him. Her thoughts were disrupted by the feel of something hard digging into her belly, when she realised what it was she gasped jumping backwards.

"Oh my god! Negan! Way to ruin the moment."

He just sat there laughing loudly watching the beautiful woman who had caused the perfectly normal male reaction in him blushing like crazy.

"What?! I'm human ya know... when a beautiful woman's presss up against me..."

"Yeah yeah I know it's been a while." She scoffed. He didn't want her to think that what happened was something he couldn't control, hell, sure it had been a while but that didn't make him some pre pubescent boy again. It was her that made him not be able to control himself.

"A long while of imagining all the things I'd do to you, Rose." He rasped making the room suddenly go very hot as she stood there not knowing what to do or say, he could see that he had an effect on her and with anybody else he would have pointed it out more. Probably made fun of her for it. But not Rose. Taking pity on her he gestured towards the bowl of soup she had been forcing on him earlier. "Let me try some of that. If I can keep it down take me back to that hell hole."

"Okay. Deal." She nodded before passing him the soup.

Much to both Rose and Negan's disappointment the watery soup and stale bread stayed down and he was walked back to his cell by Eddie and Siddiq. Apparently Michonne was waiting for Rose with a radio call from Rick.

Great.

🌹

Chapter Twelve

[writebythenight]

The Silence

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Summary: Rose(OC) is assigned the job of talking to Negan in his Cell.

Chapter Fourteen

The death of Rick Grimes was felt differently by everyone.

To some it was the loss of a leader.

Some it was the loss of the man who saved them from the regime of the saviors.

To others it was the loss of a dear friend.

And to a small group it was the loss of a family member.

To Rose it was the loss of somebody who had taken her into their group and finally after so many years made her feel as safe as she could in the new world. She felt guilty for what she had been doing just before she found everybody but at the same time couldn't stop thinking about how amazing it had felt.

It was a very harsh landing when she found everybody near the bridge, that damn bridge.  Michonne inconsolable, Maggie heartbroken, everybody was and Daryl... well he was just gone.

She had gone to try and find him before heading back to Alexandria but he was nowhere to be found. She understood what he was thinking, that he couldn't loose anybody else. When Daryl was upset he had no idea how to handle that and would become like a porcupine, expelling those sharp quills to protect himself. Her heart broke for him when she thought about the fact that every time he got close to somebody he lost them, that was just a way of life now but it was so much worse for someone like Daryl. Someone who found it so hard to connect in the first place. Maggie had told Rose about Beth. Maggie. He himself had told me about his brother. The worst thing he could do was push everyone further away.

It was just turning dark when she got back to Alexandria, the town itself seeming to be in morning. Rose found herself at Carl's grave. She just stood there staring at the stones. She had always had a soft spot for Carl, how could anybody not? He was such an empathetic, smart kid. She had told him he would have made a good psychologist to which he replied there wasn't much need for one of those anymore. How right he was.

"I wish I could have seen the reunion, dude." A sad smile graced her face as she wiped away the tears and let her feet decide where she was going, knowing exactly where she would end up.

"Oh thank god you're okay!" He sighed as she walked in. "Dunno what the fucks goin' on round here but I think everyones got some major fuckin' PMT or somethin'..."

"Rick's dead..." She interrupted him, struggling to get the words past the aching in her chest. The sneer on Negan's face wasn't what she was expecting.

"How..." He growled.

"The was a herd... they were coming this way..." She repeated what Tara had told her through tears. "He blew up the bridge... that god damn bridge!" It was so strange to her to be crying for the man who had been keeping the man in front of her, who she cared about so much captive. She was exhausted from the events of the day.

"Son of a bitch!" He roared. She saw it straight away.

"No!" She roared back. "You do no get to do that!"

"Do what?" He just sounded aggravated this time, knowing she was about to hand him his ass.

"You don't think I know what this is?!" Her voice stayed furious, her words ripping her throat on the way out. "You're pissed cos Rick got what you wanted! You're pissed because he always seems to get one over on you doesn't he! You wanted to die, he does what you can't do the same day!"

"Maybe I am!" He screamed.

"WELL YOU DON'T FUCKING GET TO BE!" This time as she screamed at him she pushed against the bars making them clatter. "He's left behind a fucking daughter, Negan! She's four years old you SELFISH FUCK."

Negan was shocked and turned on all at once. All he wanted to do was grab her, push her against a wall and show her who was boss. There was nothing quite like dominating such a strong woman, knowing that they were letting you. He knew he was a dick, he owned it thats what had made him NEGAN. He was the kind of guy who would be in a full blown argument about a man who had just killed himself, for the greater good with a woman he cared about more than anybody, stood in front of him so upset and his mind go to fucking her against the wall. His hand around her throat, her teeth scraping his shoulder...

"He sacrificed himself so that everybody at Alexandria would stay safe..."

"Not me." Negan interrupted like a moody teenager.

"I preferred you suicidal." Rose sighed, while Negan let out a small laugh.

"Just be thankful that you're at least alive would you?" She told him. "That's all I'm asking. Just for tonight at least."

"Kiss me." Negan demanded making his way right up to the bars. "You are the only reason I'd be glad I'm alive." He reached through the bars and pulled her right up to them, winching as her body collided with them.

"You're an asshole."

"I know it, baby." Negan whispered before their lips met in a very awkward kiss through the bars, the bars made it a slow kiss but they made it work and when Rose pulled away they were both dazed.

"Are you okay?" He asked. Rose just nodded. "I'm sorry about your friend."

"Thank you." She said quietly, feeling the same shame reappear at who was giving her condolences.

"Hey... He'll be with Carl now." Even his voice sounded slightly affected by that thought, she knew he had always had a soft spot for Carl too.

"I thought the same." But she couldn't stop feeling so bad for Michonne and Judith.

"You're going to need to prepare yourself ya know, darlin'."

"What for?" Rose asked confused.

"You don't think they're gonna keep me alive now do you?" He told her gently, the way a parent would to a child.

Rose hadn't thought about that but he was right, Rick was the only one who was really keeping him alive. She would have to hope that Michonne would respect that and want to carry on Rick's legacy, his plans for Alexandria, including Negan.

"I'll talk to her." Rose's heart rate had picked up. "When the time's right of course."

"It won't make a difference, beautiful. It's okay."

"No it's not!" She still had some naive idea that they would let him go at some point.

She just had to keep him alive until then.

"Go and get some sleep." Negan told her, to which she just nodded clearly lost in her thoughts but she still reached through the bars to pull him close enough to kiss quickly.

XX

There was no sleep to be had for Rose that night. Everything was racing through her mind no matter what mental exercises she tried.

Negan.

Rick.

The kisses.

Negan's Pleading.

Rick.

Maggie.

Negan being killed.

The kisses.

Negan's pleading.

Negan.

Maggie.

Rick.

Loosing Negan.

As soon as there was some light her cover was thrown back with a growl, she must have had about an hour collectively all night.

Aimlessly walking around Alexandria with her half her hair scruffily pulled up on top of her head in an old scrunchie she spotted Scott. The keys to Negan's cell in one hand and what she suspected was his breakfast in a bowl in the other.

"Won't be doing this for much longer, huh!" Scott said cheerfully. She just looked at him with a raised eyebrow, she had always liked him right up until this point.

"You don't think so?" She decided to act uninterested.

"Nahh. I think Michonne will do a vote now. You know what that result will be."

"Yeah... maybe." She shrugged nonchalantly even thought she was internally screaming. "You don't think Michonne will want to carry on Rick's way?"

"There's a small chance I guess. But I think she only did it for Rick, you know?"

"Yeah, maybe."

"Well, have a nice day Rose!" He smiled broadly before walking away.

Rose must have stayed stood there for a good few minutes. Negan had been right. The only thing that would keep him alive now was Michonne not wanting to go against Rick's wishes but Rose didn't like those odds, especially when factoring everybody else in.

When she entered his cell he was laid on his cot.

"Negan." Rose took a deep breath as he sat up not being able to believe what she was about to say.

She had stared at the front gate

She had figured out how she would have to "borrow" one of their cars with hardly any fuel in.

She had figured out when it would be best.

What would be needed...

Everything...

She had already decided.

"Yes, angel?"

"I'm going to get you out."

She had access to everything she needed to get him out because they trusted her.

That was a slap across the face but still not enough to deter her from the plan.

Nothing would be.

Chapter Fifteen

[writebythenight]

The Silence

Chapter Twelve

Rose was sharpening her knife. It had started to drag the last time she used it when Rick approached her for what she knew was going to be one of the worst conversations of her life.

"Ya alright?" He asked her when he came to a stop.

"Cut the shit... please?" She said sadly. "I know you think I fucked up but nothing bad happened."

"It could have."

"I was armed. He wasn't" Rose shrugged. "I saw the proof that he was sick spilling out of that bucket! You really think I didn't think about it logically? He was sick, unarmed and if he managed to get past me then Eddie was outside..."

"And what if he got past Eddie too?" He growled. "What if he had gotten to Judith?"

"He would never...!" She stopped herself before defending Negan but the look on Rick's face told her he already knew what she was going to say.

"He's gotten to you." Rick looked at her with the look he saved for the times he really needed it, she called it his cop face.

"No..." As much as she tried to hide the uncertainty in her voice she knew it was pointless. "I let a sick man be more comfortable, that's all there is to it Rick. If I really thought anybody could have come to any harm I wouldn't have done it."

The man just stared back at her for a long time looking for any part of her expression that might give away her true feelings. Rick was sure she was starting to soften to the man he wanted kept away from everybody and he couldn't help but feel slightly responsible for it, he had asked her to do just that. How could he be angry at her?

"Shit..." He said under his breath. "Okay." He knelt down in front of her and placed his hand over the one that held her knife. "I trust you, Rose." The sincerity in her eyes told him he could.

"I would never do anything I thought would put Judith in danger." She told him quietly. "Any of you... I fought alongside you!"

"I know." He nodded to her, feeling stupid that he would ever doubt her, she was a strong and capable woman. That was exactly why he trusted her to do it in the first place.

XX

"Rick came to see me yesterday." Was the first thing Negan told Rose.

"Oh yeah?" She asked sitting back in her chair.

"Told me about his day like I'm his fuckin' wife or somethin'.'" He made a sound of disgust. "Kept talkin' about the future you're all creatin' out there." Rose noticed something different in his voice. It wasn't the usual warm tone but empty and her stomach dropped, already knowing what was coming having seen it so many times before. People always ended up here.

He had done so well so far. She stayed silent knowing by now that if he started a conversation he wouldn't need much coaxing.

"I got to thinking' how I'll never be a part of that." He stayed sat on his cot, leaning up against the hard wall one of his long legs bent and the fact that he hadn't come right up to the bars like usual bothered Rose to no end. "I'll never get to just sit outside with a beer, watch people do stupid shit." He paused but it was a heavy one. "I'll never get to have you." He finished.

"Negan..." She started quietly as she stood up at the bars but she just didn't know what to say.

"That day with you..." Negan said softly. "It fuckin' broke me." His voice cracked with the strain of the emotion he was holding in. "The second I got back in this cell I just felt cold, alone... fuckin' hopeless. The silence... it's too much for me, Rose."

"Come here..." She said quietly, not having anything else to say while her heart broke for him. The only thing she could think of doing was touching him, that always made him feel better right? If she could just...

"Im no good for ya." He spoke in the same monotonous way he had when he began this conversation. "Just like I wasn't for Lucille."

"You need to let go Negan. You've been beating yourself up over that stuff for too long."

"I don't want you comin' in here anymore, ya hear me?" He rasped still looking at the wall.

"What?"

"I don't deserve you spendin' all your time in here. You can deny it all you want but I know you got feelin's for me." He laughed slowly, maliciously. "I've always had the worst luck. So meetin' the girl of my fuckin' dreams in the god damned apocalypse while I'm locked up with no chance of a future with her... that sounds just like fuckin' like me."

"Negan you're bound to feel like this! The worst thing would be to be alone... I'm not leavin' you alone to rot in here."

"So what you gonna do spend the rest of your life pining over me like one of them desperate, lonely, ugly fucks who fall in love with people on death row?" He lazily rolled his head to look at me now. "Cos' that's what I am sweetheart. I'm gonna die here. I give it the big fuck you to Rick and everybody but I know I'm not gettin' out."

"Whether you like it or not Negan... I'll be coming to see you everyday."

"Oh shit! You really are desperate aren't you."

"Stop being an asshole cos you think you can push me away." She said not taking anything he said to heart.

"Go find some normal, boring fuck and stop botherin' me would ya?"

"Funny you should say that... Gabriel's started to look real good."

"I'm fuckin' serious, Rose." She had stupidly thought making a joke would perk him up alittle, the fact that he didn't come back with some snark remark worried her. He was right, this was serious. "I can't give you what you deserve. I'll never be able to."

XX

It went pretty much the same way every single time Rose went to see Negan. He wouldn't eat, she got no reaction from him even when she offered to flash him and she as being serious. No matter what she did he stayed in that deep dark pit of depression she has seen so many others in before, had even helped people get out of. This time she felt helpless.

XX

"He's not eating." Michonne seemed to be making a habit out of searching Rose out and begging her to clean up her and Ricks mess. Rose threw down the trowel she was using and stood up to face her.

"You know what Michonne. Neither am I!

He's depressed! Of course he's fuckin depressed! It's fucking cruel. What do you want me to do for him? Give him a prescription!"

"I don't... I just thought..."

"You thought I have some kind of connection with him right? That's what Rick asked me to do! Make a connection with a imprisoned man but get the third degree off you both when I actually try to help him."

"I get it." Although Michonne looked like she wanted to rip Rose's head off she just walked off.

XX

"You've been talkin' to Michonne." Rose's voice echoed in the cell which felt completely empty. No reply.

"You had a lot to say to her apparently." Rose sighed.

"It's been a week. Are you gonna give up?"

Nothing.

"I miss you."

Silence. Rose squeezed her eyes shut feeling stupid in a hundred different ways for having said that.

"You asked me once... what the worst thing I've ever done is?"

She heard him shuffle and hoped she'd finally got his attention.

"Ask me again again and I'll tell you."

"What's the worst thing you've ever done?" His voice was still flat but at least it was words.

"It was a while after this whole thing started... I was with two other women and there was these guys, four of them." The same dread that always filled her whenever she thought about it came in floods and she had to take a deep breath. "We joined up with them, safety in numbers and all that. One night they were talking to themselves, laughing about stuff and kept looking over at us. I knew straight away something was off, men have that certain look when they're thinking about doing terrible things. I told the other two, Erin and Abi." There name made her eyes fill with tears. "To keep hold of their weapons and I remember thinking first thing in the morning and we're gone."

She looked up to see Negan had turned to face her now.

"But it was already too late. They came over one with a gun and the other three grabbed us. Pinned us down and I fought, I fought so god damn hard and I was lucky. That's all it was. I wasn't any stronger than the others and the guy who came to me was a little smaller. I got away just before he... I stabbed the sick fuck. There I was running away, half naked lucky it was dark so the shots the guy fired after me, missed." She began crying now and she knew it was an accumulation of everything... the loneliness, her unwanted feelings for Negan, the hostility from certain members of the group but most of all the shame and guilt. "I just ran off. I didn't help them!"

All that could be heard was her soft sobs as she tried to control herself. "I got out of the place we were holed up and kept moving until morning. I've no idea how I survived any of it. I was just lucky. That's the only difference between them and me."

"You did what you had to do." His voice made her jump. "I'm so sorry that happened Rose."

"Don't!" She snapped. "Don't feel sorry for me. It's those poor women..."

"I don't know what the hell you hoped would happen by tellin' me that. All it's made me do is get angry that I can't hold you! That it could happen to you again and I'd be locked up in this FUCKING SHIT HOLE!" He raged worse than she'd ever seen him before. "Yeah you stand there like a fuckin' deer in the headlights darlin' cos there's nothing I can do for ya! So just fuckin' leave!"

Rose hesitated, not knowing what to do until she came to a harsh conclusion. "You're right. There's nothin' either of us can do for each other." She said quietly, in defeat. "I thought I could help you. That was so naive of me."

And then she left.

"Rose.." Negan said so quietly she didn't even hear. "Fuckin' shit!" He shouted, enraged that she was carrying around guilt because of some sick fucks and just as angry that he couldn't do anything about it.

XX

Later that day Rose had been doing paroles around the walls having needed to get out. Walking back to her house she was intercepted by Scott, his warm friendly eyes looking concerned.

"Is it all sorted?" He asked.

"What?"

"Maggie..."

"What about her?" Rose asked getting frustrated.

"I thought you'd have been told... Maggie turned up at here about ten, fifteen minutes ago... I told Michonne..."

He didn't even finish his sentence before Rose was racing off to the place she knew Maggie would be. The panic pushed her to run even faster knowing all too well what the only reason the woman would have stepped foot in Alexandria.

Chapter Thirteen

A/N

So sorry for the cliffhanger but this is close to 2000 words and I don't know if anyone would want a chapter that long.

Thanks as always to anyone who has followed or left comments. It means so much!

[writebythenight]

The Silence

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Summary: Rose(OC) is assigned the job of talking to Negan in his Cell.

Chapter Six

There was still a heavy damp mist in the air the next morning as Rose stood on her porch with a cup of coffee. This kind of weather would have been dangerous when she was out there but in here she could just stand with a cup of coffee, weak but coffee none the less coffee. Seeing the familiar outline of Rick approaching her through the fog she sat down on the step guessing what he was coming to talk about.

"Morning'." He said in a deep voice that told her he hadn't been awake for long.

"Good morning."

"Any updates?" Rick asked. Rose knew he liked to check up on how she was doing not just about Negan and it made her feel all warm, despite the mist that the whole group had made her feel that way after so long of having nobody care.

"Actually yeah! I really think I've had abit of a break through." Rick's eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Really?!" He sat down beside her, on a slant to face her. "Go on..."

"I found out his weakness... Lucille." She said seriously.

"The bat?"

"His wife." She felt guilt seeping through her from the second the revelation left her lips. The realisation on Rick's face was quite satisfactory though, she'd started to understand Negan, exactly what he had asked of her.

"What happened to her?" She thought for only a second before telling Rick everything. She wanted Rick to be able to see this other side to people that she did, especially Negan, maybe he would let him out every now and again then.

"She died just before everything... changed." She knew she needed to elaborate on this part for him. "He had already gone through a massive trauma just before this. His wife died and then the dead started walking... that's just too much for anybody to comprehend."

"Plenty of us have lost people through this... it didn't make us like him." Rose shook her head to show he wasn't understanding her.

"He'd been cheating on her... found out she was dying and called it off of course but Lucille knew and he must have felt like the biggest asshole in the world. He carried on being the bad guy. I mean don't get me wrong I get the impression he's just an asshole, always has been." She shrugged. "But when Lucille died, he didn't have any weaknesses, it was almost like any barrier stopping him going from asshole to complete sociopath were gone. The fucking floodgates were open."

"No weaknesses..."

"If you hadn't had Carl..." She said quietly. "If you didn't have Judith, Michonne, Daryl, Carol, Maggie..." He nodded understanding."Most people want to make connections. Negan used people as commodity, he didn't want anybody to get close. He isn't over the death of his wife. He never got the chance to grieve, he went straight into violence and ruthlessness and having nobody."

"What about me? When Lori..."

"You were already deep into this life by then am I right?"

"Yeah..." He looked up at the sky thoughtfully and all she could hope was that he was imagining himself in Negan's position, empathy was a very powerful emotion.

They moved onto less serious topics, like the new things Judith began doing everyday and the progress of the integrating of groups.

"You can take him out..." Rick said out of nowhere.

"What?" Rose said caught off guard.

"Once a month, you're right he should get out of the cell." He looked at her with that firm expression this time. "In cuffs. When nobody's around, and you have armed people accompanying you."

"It's the right thing to do Rick." She said with a small smile.

"We'll figure something out for tomorrow." He told her standing up.

Rose found herself walking briskly over to the cell to tell Negan the good news and see if he was up to it.

"Hey douchebag." She called as she entered. "How's that big head of yours."

"Better." He told her stood at the bars.

"Good we're going for a walk tomorrow." She grinned.

He scoffed looking at her utterly unimpressed. "Like a dog."

"No... like..." She stuttered only for Negan to copy her, making fun of her.

"You can't think of anything to say because I'm right."

"Don't think of it like that... It's something right?"

"So all I have to look forward to for the rest of my life is... fuckin' walkies."

"Oh I shouldn't have bothered. Should just let you rot in here like everyone else, huh?" She said exasperated. She fully understood his negativity but this was a small win surely.

"What do you mean you shouldn't have bothered?" He rasped. "Did you... di... this..." He began stuttering and Rose couldn't pass up the opportunity to make fun of him right back before answering what she knew he was asking.

"Yeah.. I suggested it to Rick.. might have bugged him alittle too." The smirk which started to spread along Negan's lips made her fight away a blush she could feel starting by looking away. "Anyway you have to wear cuffs and we have to have armed guards but the way I see it that'll just feed your ego."

He laughed. "Do I have to wear a mouth guard incase I get a craving for your pretty little liver and a nice chianti."

"That movie reference is getting a little old now." She rolled her eyes. "Besides you couldn't find a good chianti if your life depended on it these days."

"That's the part of that sentence that bothered you? Darlin' your strange in the head."

"No more than you." She told him as she left.

"Sweetheart!" She heard as she walked up the stairs, looking at the window she could see just his head. "Ya healing' up okay?" He said meaning the injury from the last run.

"All good thanks." She said before walking away, forcing herself to not look back.

Tara and Michonne stood at the top of the stairs leading to the cell early next morning while most people weren't even up. Rose was stood behind them the keys to Negan's cell held tightly in her hands, the feeling was one she didn't enjoy. In her other hand were the handcuffs Rick had given her and instructed her to put on him before unlocking the cell and only taking off after he was locked back in.

"You ready?" She asked the two other women who held their guns in front of them, Michonne's trusty sword on her back. Rose herself had just her hand gun in her belt which she hoped she wouldn't have to use. This was a big test and the apprehension in the air showed the other two women felt it too, probably even more having not spent time with him. Rose didn't think he would actually try to get away, not for any other reason than he would be in handcuffs, unarmed with no way of surviving, not to mention she knew Michonne could kick his ass.

As they followed her into the cell she put on a confident front and went straight to the gate. "Can you come up to the bars for me please?" She asked him deciding not to demand it and potentially damage the trust he must have for her by now.

He smirked. "Anythin' for you darlin'." She knew he was going to be a million times worse in the company of others, either to embarrass her or maybe another reason she hadn't caught onto yet and so she just ignored him.

She fumbled with the handcuffs, using the key to open them before reaching through the bars and grabbing Negans wrists his warm skin always a shock to her. When the cuffs were on she looked up to see him staring directly into her eyes making her breath catch as she told herself she was only human, he was a good looking guy asshole or not. She unlocked the gate and he walked towards her slowly before she grabbed the cuffs to lead him from the cell.

"Hello ladies." He grinned towards Tara and Michonne. "In any other circumstances this would be fuckin' hot." He laughed.

"Shut. up." Rose said almost begging as she looked at the women who just glared back at him unaffected, clearly she was just a bad bad person for letting him get to her.

"We're just gonna walk outside the fence today." She told him as they walked up to the front gate, the few people that saw Negan only looked away when he met there gaze. It was like he was some kind of legend, villain who everybody was scared to even look at.

Out of sight out of mind.

"Are ya sure this is a walk and I'm not being taken to my execution here girls."

"I wish." Tara muttered making Rose glare at the back of her head.

Rose heard Negan take a deep breath as they walked beyond the fence.

"Sure is nice to stretch my legs." He rolled his shoulders as she let go of his cuffs, staying close to him and looking over to Michonne and Tara who were a couple of meters either side of them as they walked.

"Do you think this will help at all?" She asked him but he just continued to look around.

"Honestly? Not enough to make any difference." He told her solemnly.

"I get it." She sighed.

"Thank you though." He looked at her from the corner of his eye and she smiled softly at him.

Rose didn't feel like she could talk to him properly with Tara and Michonne listening in and so she just let him enjoy his time out of the cell. He was squinting as he looked around and she realised it was because he wasn't used to that much daylight, she made a mental note to bring sunglasses for him next time. They came across only a couple walkers in the time that they were out, neither even had the chance to become a problem with Michonne around, Negan watched her closely and Rose couldn't make out whether he was impressed or wary.

Entering Alexandria after half an hour or so people had started to go about their day, some people avoided looking at the women surrounding Negan while others glared over at them as though they could reach him that way. She looked next to her to see Negan with his head held high and jaw set totally unwilling to let anyone else see him in a vulnerable state.

"I can take it from here." Rose told the two women.

"We'll wait here until you come out, just shout if you need us." Tara told her. "You try anything and I'll shoot you in the dick." She told Negan who looked at her his jaw open slightly before he let out a laugh.

"Jesus. That escalated, I thought we were all getting along."

"Come on." Rose told him tugging lightly on his cuffs.

"Don't wait up." He winked at the two women left stood outside of the door.

"Do you have to do that." Rose sighed.

"What, sweetheart?"

"That!" She told him as he entered his cell again turning to face her as she stood in the gap of the open gate. "The pet names and the 'don't wait up'." She imitated his voice badly.

"I'm just messin'" He shrugged. "You don't want them to get the wrong idea?"

"Of course I don't!" She huffed.

"Why?"

"I just don't."

"You don't want them to think I'm getting' to you." He smirked. She took a sharp breath in, hoping he hadn't heard and so she laughed to try and make him think he hadn't in fact got it very right. "But I am aren't I." He took a slow step towards her, he was tall without the bars between them.

"No..." Her voice was quieter than she meant it to be.

"Don't pretend you don't feel it..."

"Disgust? Yeah I feel that." Before she had even finished her sentence his hands still in cuffs cupped her face pulling her towards him and for a second she truly thought he was going to kiss her but his lips only brushed hers very lightly.

"You don't feel this..." He said in a quivering whisper. Of course she felt it, she wasn't stupid enough to try and deny something that god damn obvious, the crackling tension, the way that the tingling in her lips seemed to trickle through her entire body.

But this wasn't right.

Just as he began to push his lips onto hers she stepped back grabbing the gate and slamming it shut, locking the door, immediately letting out a breath as she looked up to see his face looking rejected.

"Hands." She said simply. For a second she didn't think he would but he lifted them so that she could reach through and unlock his handcuffs easily before turning to leave but she needed to get something off her chest. "I know what you're doing Negan. I know what this is."

"It's..." He began.

"No!" She raised her voice to cut him off. "You listen to me! I'm not some idiot you can manipulate into doing your dirty work." Her voice held a passion she didn't want him to hear, not wanting him to know this had affected her. "Yes I'm probably too nice for my own good but I've been like this all my life and I know how to not to be used. Especially by a man."

"I'm not..."

"No! What did you think? That you could get me to believe you had some kind of weird crush on me and break your ass out of here? Give me some fuckin' credit!"

"That's not what it is!"

"So what... what was that!" She stood with her arms crossed more than aware of her protective body language.

"I don't fuckin' know." He said leaning his head on the bars shaking it slowly. A strained laugh leaving him. "The last thing I ever fuckin' expected."

"Stop it." She was holding back tears. He was either telling the truth or a really good actor. This wasn't fair, she wanted what others had... someone to hold onto in this fucked up world. Someone to just make her feel less constantly lonely and it wasn't fair that he was trying to use her this way when in any other circumstances, if he wasn't so fucked up maybe there was something there.

"I wish I was lying!" He said in a much stronger voice this time. "I'm well aware of how this fuckin' looks."

"I have to go." She needed to get away from him, try and make this clearer in her head. Alarm bells rang in her head that she often needed to do that, get away from him so that he couldn't cloud the way she saw things. "They'll come looking for me."

"Rose..." She heard him call. "Rose..." But she just left going, kept walking right out of the door not looking either of her friends in the eye as she passed the keys to Michonne and started up the stairs throwing a "thank you" over her shoulder.

"Rose..." Tara called after her but she needed to be alone so badly, see could feel them watching her leave. She could feel another pair of eyes watching her from the window he would often look through. Everything was getting on top of her, she felt like she was on show.

All she could think about was finding some alcohol, hiding away and trying to get over what she had let happen. How could she have been so unprofessional?

She knew exactly why. Her feelings had gotten in the way, the feelings she had ignored from day one. There was only one way to fix this mess and she knew what she would tell someone else in her position to do... stop seeing him. Somebody else would have to do it and she couldn't help but wonder what his reaction would be to that.

Chapter Seven

[writebythenight]

The Silence

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Summary: Rose(OC) is assigned the job of talking to Negan in his Cell.

"We deserve to live in peace. Negan and the saviours tried to take that away from us. Alexandria and the hilltop, The Kingdom and Oceanside came together to fight for a better future. We won. Not without painful loses and today we try to heal, to forgive... now the work really begins. The new worlds begins." -Rick Grimes.

Chapter Ten

"Im not dying for a fucking canoe!" Rose grumbled at Daryl who was stood across from her holding the other end. She received one of his very rare laughs as he shook his hair out of his face.

"I won't let ya die." He assured her. "C'mon."

"If this glass goes theres not a whole lot you could do." She shrugged gesturing to the glass floor they were stood on, too many walkers to count milling around on the floor below just waiting for dinner. Of course the museum they went on a run to had a glass floor, it just went with the rest of her awful day which had started with stubbing her toe. Sure in the grand scheme of things that seems rather minuscule but straight after that she had a very moody Negan telling her they were going on a "useless run" and then continuing to act like a child and tell the woman she "must have a god damned death wish" until she left. What annoyed her the most about that was the fact that he had a habit of being right about these things. More recently Rose had Maggie completely ignore her and give nothing but dirty looks since she found out what Rick had asked her to do. Then there had been the single worst walker she had ever seen, the decayed body of a man with spiders crawling out of his face. It had been a long time since she had run away from a walker but it was more the spider she ran away from, causing the surrounding people to laugh hysterically at her. Rose wasn't as amused and still felt like the bastards were crawling on her.

So by this point she was just in a shitty mood and after the glass had already started to crack... here they still were, asking for trouble. Walking as slow and steady as she could, keeping to the metal beams she held her breath until they were on solid ground. As she got to it she felt Rick's grip on her arm, pulling her back and helping to lift as he watched the glass part of the floor with panic.

"It's goin' down!" He shouted and Daryl dived into the solid ground beside Rose as they watched the floor fall from beneath Ezekiel.

Organised chaos began as it always did when one of the group was in danger. Rose getting behind Rick to help him hold the rope praying it wouldn't be cut by the sharp edges of the hole he had gone through.

Daryl stood as selfless as ever by the edge ready to shoot any walkers who might get too close as Carol put something down for Ezekiel to be able to grab on to. All Rose could concentrate on was the feel of the rope cutting at her palms and the anger that they couldn't have just left with the fucking seeds and not risked anybody's life. Rose used this to keep pulling until the man who named himself a King had pulled himself to safety and was wrapped in the arms of the woman he loved.

Watching them made her chest ache with the loneliness that she just kept buried, knowing it wasn't important these days. She missed someone needing her.

Rick had collapsed onto the floor from the strain of taking so much weight which Rose thought was very "Rick" of him.

"Hope your fuckin' seeds are worth it." Rose sighed earning quite a few annoyed looks.

"Don't forget about the canoe." Daryl added breathlessly making her snigger quietly to herself.

Rose loved riding. Something she couldn't say around Negan but none the less true. It was one of the many hobbies she tried out as a child and the only one she had enjoyed, it was one of the parts of this world she liked. One of the parts she didn't like though was how hard it was to get from one place to another, things happened like bridges collapsing. Yet another reason she should have stayed in bed that morning.

"Rose and Gabriel, y'all can head to Alexandria from here. The rest of us can go to the sanctuary or hilltop. Stay the night and head on from there." Rick decided.

"I can come with you guys." She told him, wanting to be there in case anything happened.

"We'll be okay, Rose." He smiled gently at her. "Take care. And get home safe."

☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

"I noticed how Maggie was towards you." Gabriel told Rose as they approached Alexandria.

"Oh you mean downright ignoring me then giving me the dirtiest looks I've ever received. Yeah, I noticed too." Rose sighed, well and truly over people treating her that way because she was now a villain thanks to her connection to Negan.

"How does that make you feel?" Rose snorted.

"Isn't that my line?" She asked the man.

"I suppose but whoever asks you how you are?" He asked her still facing forward with that all-knowing look on his face.

"Honestly... it makes me feel like shit. I really care about her and I did about Glenn too. I'd have swapped places with Glenn in a heartbeat so he could have seen his baby born." Rose shook her head as she looked up at the sky getting teary. It was true, nobody would have really cared if she'd been killed that night instead of Glenn.

"That's quite a statement." Gabriel told her knowing exactly what she meant as he had felt the same way for so long. "You're just as valuable as everyone else."

"You have to say that." Rose laughed. "We both know nobody would have really missed me. It'd have been sad but I wouldn't have been a real loss to anyone."

"What about Negan?" Something he said so calmly set Rose' heart racing.

"What about him?"

"Well I'm sure you'd be a real loss to him. I really admire what you're doing for him, you've really made an impression on him. I go to talk to him every now and again to offer any... religious help he may need. He doesn't want to talk about Jesus or any god at all. Just you."

"What does he say?" She asked because she wanted to know how he acted towards other people but mostly she wanted to know for herself.

"That you're an angel." Her heart squeezed and she couldn't help the tight smile on her lips. "It's okay to not hate him you know." Rose just looked over at him. "You show a kindness not many can give over so easily. Its refreshing in this world, I've always told you that." And he had. He was the first person to point out her good natured countenance.

"Thanks, Gabe." She grinned over at him. "At least I know one person won't hate me for being his friend."

"I'm just glad he has one." He smiled back.

As they approached the gates the few Alexandrians who had come back with them dispersed as did Gabriel and so Rose found herself stood near the building she knew rather well. The one that she knew he was in, sat there all alone, it was only fair she let him know she was home safe.

As she walked down into the cell she heard voices and stopped halfway down the stairs.

"You're fuckin' pathetic." It was Negan's voice in a nasty tone Rose wasn't used to.

"You're a horrible man! I don't know why Rose bothers with you!" The voice she recognised as Nora's replied. She was one of the poor souls left in charge of Negan whenever Rose had somewhere else to be.

"Well thank fuck she does. I'd have caved my own head in by now if you fucktards were my only connection to the world."

"I don't enjoy coming in here you know." Nora's voice was quiet and Rose silently willed the woman to call him something just as horrible.

"Oh come on." He sneered. "Not like you have anywhere else to be right? I'm not having that you have a hot date. I know it's slim fuckin' pickings out there but the actual librarian look ain't screamin' fuck me to no man!"

"Negan!" Rose shouted, having heard enough she had marched into the room looking furious.

"Oh shit. Now I'm in trouble." He said chuckling.

"You say sorry to Nora!"

"Exfuckin'scuse me?" He asked her stalking towards the bars.

"You heard me." She said suddenly feeling a lot less confident and waiting for him to embarrass her.

"Why the fuck would I do that? I'm just messin', right Nora?"

Nora looked over to Rose uncomfortably. "It's fine, Rose. I appreciate it but I just want to leave now."

"Nora he said awful things to you, you deserve an apology!"

She just looked at Rose as if she was crazy. "It's Negan. It's not exactly a surprise, it's how he's always been. I'm used to it by now."

The statement hit Rose so hard she lost all arguments she thought she had. He had never been like that with her so why was he so awful to everyone else, sure she knew he wasn't exactly Mr sociable but she never thought he'd be so horrible to people just trying to help. Same as her.

"I'll see you later, Rose." Nora told her on her way past, quietening her voice to say, "thank god you're back."

She only dared look at Negan once she knew Nora had gone and saw him standing there grinning at her with a mischievous look in his eyes. "How was the run, angel?"

"Why were you being so horrible to her?!" She was still furious. "There was absolutely no need."

He just shrugged looking like a rebellious teenager and all she could think about was sending Negan to his bedroom... or hers.

"Are you like that with everyone who comes in here?"

"Except my angel." He smiled.

"Why do you treat people like that? No wonder everyone thinks I'm crazy saying you're actually kinda nice!"

"You been tellin' people I'm nice?! Fuckin' don't, you'll ruin my reputation." He laughed. "I'm nice to you. No one else fuckin' deserves me to be nice."

"Oh I'm so honoured." She said sarcastically.

"You're welcome."

"Oh shut up!" She spat.

"What is it? Is it cos you're bored? You just like messin' with people as you called it?" She asked grabbing her usual chair and sitting down with a groan.

"Maybe." He shrugged. "You okay?" He looked her over and she got the same shivers she always did.

"Yeah. Fine." She grumbled.

"Ya don't sound it. C'mere and sit on Daddy's knee... tell me all about it."

Rose felt herself soften just at the tone of his voice, the bad half of the day melted away. "You're sick."

"And you're in a fuckin' bad mood. Considering you didn't shit in a bucket this morning you're already having a better day than me."

She scrunched up her nose at him. "I know. I shouldn't be moody I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise, sweetheart. We all have them days."

She just nodded not wanting to tell him why she wasn't in a great mood seeing as her circumstances were always better than his.

"C'mon. Tell me... I don't get much entertainment."

"Fine..." she sighed, leaning forward onto her knees and deciding she would leave out the fact that she had stubbed her toe she began. "So this museum. First off I'm getting so much shit for coming here talking to you everyday... like people I thought were really good friends just cutting me out and I don't get it! I mean I get why they hate you... any way then there was the most fucking awful walker." She shivered. "Spiders! One the size of my actual hand crawled out of this bastards head!"

"Ya scared of spiders?" He laughed. "You'd think you'd have outgrown irrational fears once the dead started walking."

"Yeah... well, I haven't okay so I ran away!"

"Ya ran away!" He was really laughing now, while doing his customary lean backwards but his laughter didn't make her angry.

"Yeah... and everyone laughed just like you." They had made her angry though.

"Oh I miss runs." He lowered himself onto his stool. "Sure the worlds fuckin' awful but every now and then someone would do some stupid shit and it'd be funny as hell."

"I can imagine you being in your element." She laughed.

"Tell me some more." He said watching her.

"You know when you just know something's a stupid idea?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, we apparently needed this really heavy piece of equipment so badly that we risked dragging it across a glass floor."

"Are you shittin' me?!" He said with a raised voice.

"I wish I was."

"How the fuck your group has survived this long under Ricks leadership I'll never know."

"Shut up." She rolled her eyes. "So it cracked of course." The look on Negans face was one of anger and concern, his brow creased and his mouth turned tight as he watched her. "Somebody ended up hanging there like a piñata."

"Wasn't you?"

She just shook her head. "Nobody died by some miracle but I dunno... I kinda think it was stupid to risk someone like that even after the glass had cracked."

"I agree." He nodded. "Fuck, Rose." He rasped quietly. "Every time you go out it fuckin' kills me I ain't there to look after you."

All her breath left her in a shaky gasp as her chest clenched tightly and she swallowed the lump in her throat. "Negan." She whispered. That was all she had wanted for so long, somebody to care about her so much and for her to care about them the same way. The way Rick and Michonne had each other's backs no matter what.

"I can take care of myself." She told him the same thing she had always told herself whenever she craved that connection.

"I've no doubt about that." He laughed. "But I know I'd keep you safer than any of them."

She was sat clenching and unclenching her hands were the rope had grazed her palms. "I'm fine." Rose lied.

"I know." Negan pretended not to know she was lying.

Chapter Eleven

[writebythenight]

The Silence

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Summary: Rose(OC) is assigned the job of talking to Negan in his Cell.

Chapter Eight

Rick didnt say a thing as he walked up the stairs and grabbed her wrist to pull her away.

"He thinks your dead." He told her seriously.

"Why the hell would he think that?" She said with an accusing tone.

"I just told him you'd gone on a run with Daryl yesterday. That's all..."

"And he jumped to that conclusion by himself?!" She exclaimed.

"He ain't exactly stable. Especially since you left. Whatever happened I think he cares about you in some weird way." This shocked Rose, for somebody else to tell her that felt that a slap to the face. It can't be true. Can it? "I know this is a lot to ask but I need you to use that. He's calmer when you're visiting him and it makes everyone's lives easier."

"Okay, okay." She rolled her eyes at the fact that he was still trying to convince her after Michonne already had. "I'm gonna go and try to get him to shut up." She shook her head annoyed at the thought that nobody else could just have talked to him and gotten him to calm down.

Rose stormed into the cell her light eyes flashing and the usual soft curvitures of her face sharper. Her first glimpse of Negan was him knelt with his head bowed and his hands on the ground almost as if he was praying. The sounds of anger and hopelessness coming from him told her otherwise.

"What the actual fuck was all that noise I heard coming from here!" She snapped like an angry Mother.

Negans head shot up, his eyes wide as he took her in. "Rose..." he said quietly.

The silence that dragged between them wasn't an empty one as their eyes told each other everything. Negan could see anger in Rose again and she could see the same in him, the frustration building and building until someone said something.

"I thought you were..." Negans voice was had a soft edge to it.

"Dead?" Rose finished for him. "Well I'm not. Clearly."

"Clearly." He breathes with a small smile which soon fell. "Where were you?!"

"You know why I stopped coming, Negan." She said calmly.

"Jesus, Rose. Have you any idea how this has been for me?!"

"I duno why don't you explain how it feels when the only chance of you getting out see's right through your shitty plan!"

"It wasn't a plan!" He barked before taking a deep breath as if to calm himself, his hands still squeezing the bars tight. "You're so damn stubborn." He laughed quietly and the way he went from anger to laughing so quickly was a big sign of how unstable he was. "None of it was a plan. Trust me if that was my plan I'd have gone for someone else... not you." He glared at her as though he resented her for making him have the feelings he said he did.

Rose just stood there silently, studying him and once again finding it hard to figure out if he was an extremely good actor or simply just telling the truth. Each possibility was as terrifying as the other.

"Look Rose. I get it. Don't believe me and I promise I won't ever bring it up again." He looked at her with pleading eyes this time and it hit her right in the heart. "Just please don't leave me again."

"What? She whispered having not expected that.

"Please..." He grinded his teeth. "Don't leave me alone again."

"W...why not?"

"I can't do this without you!" He snapped. "You see me as a person not just Negan. You talk to me without waiting for something to happen and I become Mr fucking Saved by Jesus or some shit."

"Okay." She she shrugged. "If I actually make a difference."

"More than you'll ever know, darlin'." He sighed heavily. "If I'm in this god damn place for however long... I don't even wanna fuckin' imagine how long... then I need you."

"Okay." She said softly. "I shouldn't have just stopped coming like that. I'm sorry." She had taken away the one little bit of real company he had, the one person he had seen fight for him as a human being and he must have felt so helpless. So alone.

"Ahh I understand fuckin why, Princess." He batted his hand in her direction. "You're fuckin' smart. I know it looked bad." He slipped his feet from underneath him and dropped onto the floor looking sad and Rose despite knowing she shouldn't walked right up to the bars. She sat down right in front of him, only the bars separating them and reached through. Negan looked at her outstretched hand then back to her face, studying her with shock.

"I'm not gonna keep it there for long." She laughed lightly trying to break the tension. His large hand wrapped around hers tightly and squeezed, almost enough to be painful but not quite and she understood what this must mean for him so she didn't say anything. Even when his forehead lowered onto the back of the hand he held.

"The silence..." Negan said quietly. "It's too loud when you're not here."

Rose squeeezed her eyes shut with the hope that it would stop them watering, the last thing he wanted was pity. She wouldn't give it to him. Instead she slowly inched her other hand into the cell as if it was a Lion inside and laid it on the back of his head.

They sat like that in silence everything going calm and quiet until he lifted his head, meeting her gaze. She wanted to believe everything he said about her even though she knew how fucked up that was she couldn't help it, he was right there was something. She knew anybody else would think she was crazy to have any kind of feelings for this monster but that was the problem... she didn't see him as a monster. She saw him as a man who didn't get to grieve for his wife, who never forgave himself for how he treated her and had to adapt to a very extreme set of circumstances in the mean time.

Rose had accepted that she had these feeling but still kept them locked away never to be let out.

After making some laughing comment about her ass going numb she pulled her hand away from his and through the bars, standing up.

"I'll be back later with some food."

"Yeah... okay." He told her and she knew from his voice that he was in that frame of mind where he needed somebody with him. Somebody to drag him out of himself.

"I won't be long okay."

Negan held on to that and the silence no longer hurt him as much.

Chapter Nine