#negl it was nice to get to try something new

[echolocalia]

ermmmm accccshually 🤓☝️

hes my fave ever

[tsandoll]

Hi Bunny!! negl your bnd posts are taking over my brain :( and the post about big dick Leehan has me rocking back and forth. Anyways, I truly think that if he wasn’t an idol he’d be the biggest nerd (especially if he studies marine biology)

Imagine him being sat in front of you during lectures and you can’t take your eyes off of his hands as he writes. His hands just look so good. When he starts to concentrate, he’d bite his bottom whilst tying his hair back 😵‍💫 At the end of the lecture you try to speak to him but get caught completely off guard once you hear his voice. Ofc he notices and gets kinda cocky, inviting you over under the guise of him helping you with some of the content.

While he’s going over population ecology, he starts to pick up on how you slightly rub your thighs together whenever he praises you for getting something right. If you thought he was cocky before, this is a whole new level. “Should I show you a different way to remember?” He’d say as his hot hand layed on your thigh.

kinda lazy to write anything else BUTTTT you get the vibe (hopefully). Leehan please just one chance

my bnd posts are taking over my brain too like everyone has been giving me the opportunity to talk my shit and it's good but at what cost cuz ughhdhfjjdj

no cuz i love the idea of like pervy freaky nerd leehan, it's smth that pops into my head every once in a while. him seeming like he's only all about his books and like he'd be all shy and stuff but when you talk to him he's quite charismatic with his nice deep voice. he's not shy at all, he's rather outgoing and friendly, like something about him just makes you wanna follow him so when he immediately invites u over and offers help ur like "um yes!!"

he's so sweet while helping you, genuinely getting into the topics and helping you out better than you even thought you needed. you lack the ability to respond because of how captivated you are by him, watching his hands and face and listening to his voice, your breath hitching whenever he praises you. but he doesn't pay it much mind,, or so you think, he's actually been paying very close attention, practically counting the times you've reacted that way, already noting everything that makes you tick. he doesn't ever mention how while he's talking you don't say anything, how your lips are pressed together just like your thighs. he'd be like "so do you remember what i said at the beginning, or do you need more help focusing? maybe i should change my tactic."

you'd be so reactive under his touch, your body burning hot when he turns his attention to you. his hand on your thigh would almost feel heavy, his control over you already making you feel lightheaded.

[fonulyn]

Hi Fon. I hope you’re doing well and taking care of yourself! I just wanted to pop by and share my appreciation for your writing. You’re a spectacular author and I constantly find myself revisiting your fics, old and new, for comfort. You’re the first RE author I had ever read from when I entered the fandom 2/3 years ago and one of the only ones I continually read works from! I’m sorry your engagement has been low, and you can stop if you want, but I appreciate you and treasure your fics. ❤️

heya! thank you so much for such a nice message, it means the world to me 💖 I'm super happy to hear you're enjoying the ficcage, even so much you might revisit them too! that is truly so awesome to know! i saw the notification for this ask when i woke up and i've been thinking about it the whole day, not even kidding :D

i'm not gonna stop writing because i genuinely do love it. but I gotta admit that it's been bringing me down lately how it feels like I'm screaming into the void. like. the last two things I've posted were chapters 4 and 5 for the re4 au and i know nivannedy is a small pairing and won't get a ton of attention but wanna know how many comments those two chapters got? one. one for chap5 (which i appreciate so much, thank you!) and literally not a single one for chap4. zero. nada. none. so it feels like... why would i want to spend an hour or two or three proofreading and formatting and getting things posted if that's what it gets me? it feels a lot like wasted effort.

but I'll try to focus on the good and not dwell too much on things i can not change or do anything to. i still have stories i want to tell, ideas i want to explore, and I am going to keep doing that as long as it brings me joy. and if there's someone out there who enjoys something i do, all the better :) i'm trying to just give my brain time right now, i'll probably feel less bummed about everything once i no longer am this tired. right now it feels like someone put my brain through a blender, negl.

asbdfhjhb i didn't mean to ramble so much, sorry.

thank you again, anon, for such a wonderful message!! it's people like you and messages like yours that keep me afloat, truly! there aren't adequate enough words to tell you how much i appreciate that you took the time and made the effort to message me! 💖😘

[mieczyhale]

a messy explanation of things and unnecessary information about life lately

soooo... right. i’m sorry i haven’t really been around aside from popping in here and there, and that i’ve been taking longer than usual to reply to things / not replying to things at all. it’s NOT that i’m upset with anyone or trying to ignore / avoid anyone, and it’s not that i don’t care / don’t love talking to you (whomstever you may be) i love chatting with y’all and wish i could get myself to reply to things quicker but i do not control the me lmfao honestly my sleep has never had a schedule but in recent weeks it’s kinda been operating like there’s a lil gremlin in my head who spins a wheel and picks my sleeping times at random - and it’s either like.. two hours or most of a day. there hasn’t been a lot of in between so that’s a thing!!

also in a fun added mix of maybe sleep?, missing meds, being stuck in the house more often than not, and the FUCKING EVERYTHING happening in the world right now my mental health is... probably run by the same goblin that runs my sleep schedule lmao consistency whomst?? since the lockdown started the depression has of course been around more but actually, worse than that, is how my anxiety - and by extension: my ocd - have really amped up and i need y’all to know that the struggle is painfully real (and another thing that affects shit like my replies and writing. reading as well. fics have been kinda stressful and that should be illegal. who authorized this?) i don’t hate talking about it but i don’t really like it either?? especially like.. in depth. but i will say there has been crying, screaming, pain!, and i’ve acquired a few physical injuries.

so

yeah

on a personal level - a ‘just me’ level - shit is an even bigger mess than usual lmao but all these things will get better eventually - they always do. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

NOW

ON A PERSONAL LEVEL - THE FULL LEVEL - THINGS.... are pretty great actually! i mean aside from the state of my fucking house e__e but Josh has been working from home for two (2) months now and it’s been really nice - people complaining about their partners being home?? can’t relate. yknow what?? i just might love that tall bastard even more from all this.fuck all y’all miserable fucks

we’ve been going out for drives and we’ve gone fishing and the only place i’ve gone too that’s re-opened is goodwill. because i require.. the shop. they do have a masks required rule! (at least at the one here) and, alongside that, the places we’ve gone that never closed (like grocery stores and the gas station and the hardware store) have social distancing rules and stuff in place which i love. can we keep social distancing after this is all over?? more things here in wisconsin are opening up and we might go to some. idk though. we also might not. either way its still a weird kind of exciting to see things opening back up?? even though i do think we’re not totally in the clear because most of our gov. sucks (our mayor tried to extend our stay-at-home order - keyword there is TRIED. we are the land of cheese, cows, and no fucking braincells for anyone) 

having pets is obviously not a new thing for me but it’s still a thing. so it takes time and effort and energy and patience and love and a certain disregard for your own safety (claws. they really be as sharp as you think) so... it can be stressful, especially cuz we’ve had to keep them inside more as it gets hot out and something keeps breaking our porch screens (our cats are allowed onto our screened in porch or they can go out in a harness but we will never let them run free outside. fuck that noise)  my bbies are all so cute and their personalities and idiosyncrasies are just... *chefs kiss* i love em and they’re definitely a part of what has made quarantine better

i’ve seen my mom a few times, like for my birthday and when she needed help moving Isaiah from one dorm to another and such, but that’s primarily been an option because she has become anti-mask and anti-stay-at-home-order. initially she wasn’t - she gave Isaiah and i fun lil masks since at that time trying to buy them would be impossible and she thought nothing of staying home - but i guess either as its dragged on or as she’s consumed her middle-right wing news that changed s o. she does take social distancing in public very seriously though, so at least there’s that. our favorite coffee shop, where we - pre-lockdown - always went one (1) or two (2) times a week to do art for hours re-opens on monday and that’s one of the few things i’ve truly missed.

josh’s camping trip for this weekend with his friends had to be cancelled because the parks weren’t going to open in time. so today they’re going somewhere to do at least some of the things they would have done if they had gone camping. bikes, bonfires, and cigars. i’m kinda jealous negl but he was really excited about it so mostly i’m happy

trying to figure out how human services was running things during lockdown was rough but thankfully it didn’t take much to get it sorted. mostly because my mom made the phone call i was supposed to lol (the phone anxiety is on its own level) so wednesday afternoon my mom sat with me while i had the appointment with my psychiatrist over speakerphone (which was.. an experience)

ummm.....

OH YEAH! Probably absolutely my favorite thing that’s happened is: WE’RE STARTING THE SEARCH FOR A NEW HOUSE!!!! it doesn’t mean we’re gonna be moving soon or anything, we don’t want to make the same mistake twice (buying the first house you tour that you love) because while it is a great house ultimately it is way too small for us. i mean there’s me and josh, all six cats, and ALL OUR SHIT. listen: i have an entire room dedicated to my various hobbies. and a walk in closet that isn’t big enough. and we both have collections we love and want to display (right now upstairs its hello kitty and downstairs its astronomy and the titanic. and then there’s pop figures, mtg, collectibles, our bottle collection and various knickknacks, etc.) plus all our books! then furniture and cat furniture (i.e towers) and all their shit because they are spoiled babies. and god forbid we ever have a human kid?? yeah. it’s just not big enough. 

so we’re gonna take more time with this choice but what we do know is:: we wanna live out in the country (i’m paranoid and don’t like to be looked at and he loves the outdoors, lived on a farm for awhile. i also enjoy the outdoors but mostly since we moved into this house i’ve struggled with doing anything outside... while we only have one neighbor on our road. but there’s one across the road and one at the other side of our backyard and that’s just too much lol) 

lets see.. um.... my birthday was may 2nd and that was pretty nice, for a pandemic birthday. there’s been a lot of stuff happening involving josh’s family but that’s not something i really wanna get into on here, tho i will say things have been better in recent weeks and it’s been... really nice. josh and i went to his mom’s house the other night and got drunk with her for fun and i actually had a really good time?? and didn’t complain about going?? that’s kinda unheard of.

i don’t have a job anymore - haven’t since early march-ish - and it kinda sucks but also the universe really did me a solid because my choices were either allow myself to work until i have a mental break again or quit. and i was leaning towards quitting (things had been going down hill with the owner and other employees and just the business as a whole for awhile and there’s a limit to the amount of bullshit i can take thanks) but now it doesn’t seem i have to. why do i think i’m jobless? i was barely working anyway, bc of the snow business was slow, and in march i got really sick and stayed home for a week. the day i was supposed to go back i was still sick, and covid19 was starting to become more of a serious situation everywhere, so josh called in for me and explained that between still being sick and my anxiety over covid (asthma + a not so great immune system) i wasn’t going in that day. i never heard from them again. so. 

but it’s all good - there are some options but i’m not looking into them seriously until it’s safe to.

SO

THAT’S ALL OF FUCKING THAT ON THAT

i felt it wouldn’t be a bad idea to come on here and explain A. what’s been going on and B. where i’ve been and C. that if i haven’t responded to you or acknowledged something you sent me / tagged me in it’s literally just because i either forgot to (for all reasons and none) or i don’t have the mental space / energy to. but that doesn’t mean you have to stop talking to me! even if i don’t respond or respond immediately i do read everything and i would die for any one of you fuckers (especially my clowns and the tom hardy movie) 

oh! and just btw - sometimes i don’t get notifications (quelle surprise) tumblr and skype should really pair up and talk about their truly great systems that function so well /s 8| ANYWAY: the best and most reliable ways to get my attention are twitter ( @/mieczyhale) and discord (same name) because i have yet to see their notifications fail. ahem.

i feel like i’m missing things / forgetting things but honestly this post is long enough and also enough of a rambley mess that i’m just gonna try and ignore that feeling and carry on with my goddamn day so i might actually accomplish something. sorry if there’s spelling off or missing words. i’m not taking the time to re-read this and might even delete it bc it’s already giving me anxiety bUT WE’LL SEE ALRIGHT HI AND BYE I LOVE YOU GUYS <3

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 171: Knock Them Dead With Your Sound

Previously on BnHA: Deku and Mirio visited Eri in the hospital. Eri apologized for everything they went through in order to save her, particularly Mirio who lost his powers. Mirio told her it wasn’t her fault and that everyone was just glad she was safe, and they all wanted to see her smiling face. Eri tried to smile but couldn’t quite manage it. Deku racked his brain for ways to cheer her up, and struck on the idea of inviting her to the cultural festival. Aizawa said he’d need to ask the principal but that it could probably be arranged. After Mirio explained the concept, Eri agreed, saying that she wanted to get to know everyone better. We then cut to the police, who were watching a live broadcast of a convenience store robbery and trying to trace its source. The robber, a gentleman thief named -- wait for it -- Gentle, took out six heroes in the blink of an eye and then left without taking any money. He said he wanted his name to be etched into history, and as he met up with his accomplice afterwards, he pondered what his next great exploit should be.

Today on BnHA: We are properly introduced to Gentle and his social media-savvy adoring fan La Brava. Gentle specializes in “chivalrous crimes” that target corruption. However his recent videos haven’t been as popular, in part because Stain and the League of Villains have been stealing his thunder. Back at U.A., word begins to spread about class A’s band performance and dance program. Bakugou overhears some grumps complaining about how cocky 1-A is and how they’re the ones who “start all the conflict.” That evening the kids meet to hash out who will be in charge of what. Jirou needs a drummer, and it turns out Bakugou plays drums, but he’s pissed at the idea of being obligated to provide stress relief for the other departments. As he puts it, “we aren’t getting smacked down by the villains because we enjoy it.” Instead he reframes the whole thing as a battle, and vows to knock U.A. dead with his sound. I mean, whatever works I guess. Meanwhile Gentle reveals to La Brava that he’s planning a new stunt which will surpass anything Stain or the League has done: he plans to invade U.A.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 198 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

lol

LIVING LAWLESS. all about that THUG LIFE

okay so the narrator, whom I assume is Gentle, is talking about people who have left their marks on history

you’re telling me there’s a hero out there simply known as “Brave”? I know we already had a Mr. Brave, and I can tell you right now he has left his mark on absolutely nothing. so that means there’s another guy out there named Brave, so Mr. Brave, your hero name is even lamer than I thought. WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST GO WITH SPLIT END

ooooohh!

oh my god. I want to know everything about all of these guys right the fuck now. particularly Destro. “special abilities liberation army” sounds a lot like a Magneto type “mutant rights” type of thing. there’s an era that we still don’t know much about right after quirks first started appearing on the scene, and it fascinates me and I want to know more about what it was like. because I have some fic ideas about that time period tbh. Destro, I’m definitely making a note of you

so now the narration is talking about how before the present systems were established, the lines between heroes and villains were blurred and it was an age of chaos

honestly this all sounds incredibly badass, like a superpowered wild west

and Gentle seems to agree, saying it was an age of pure freedom

this guy really feels what he’s doing, huh

the gentle, soothing, cuddly criminal. when he’s not out doing Crime, he makes ASMR roleplays in his spare time. “sleep-inducing bank robbery 🌙 (whispered/soft-spoken)”

he’s walking over to La Brava now and she says that their account got deactivated “again”, so she just finished uploading all of their videos to a new account

fucking 2010s manga though, you guys!!

and apparently that narration was from his debut video, which she was rewatching and swooning over just now

so he’s going to finish his cup of tea and then they will get on to today’s filming

oh my fucking god

you don’t understand guys. he’s really a man of the people. he’s on your side! handing out punishments to “those who do not act gentlemanly.” protecting them all from the horrors of expired pudding

oh my god you guys La Brava is the cutest ever I swear to god

how is she so cute though??

she’s frustrated because the jstore robbery video didn’t get that many views

but Gent says they’re not in it for external validation

she’s really mad though because she says it’s been 6 years since he’s been active as “the villain of the media world”

and apparently when Stain came along and went viral he stole all their views

yes but you have to admit they are super compelling though. I miss them, actually. where are they

(ETA: for real, they’ve been way too quiet recently and it’s starting to make me pretty nervous)

did you read that car chase chapter, though. “spectacle” indeed

he says his style is the opposite of that, but nonetheless it can’t be denied that they have momentum

he says all of the 10,000+ comments on their videos concern that violent behavior

are you sure some of the comments aren’t also shipping Toga and Twice. or theorizing what’s up with Tomura’s hands. or talking about how badass Compress’s new metal arm is. honestly they have a lot going for them, man

lmao

WAY TOO MANY JUMP CUTS

I also agree with the guy saying La Brava deserves more of the spotlight. she’s so great

Gent is letting loose with a hearty laugh and says he won’t be discouraged though, and that his next project will surpass even theirs

that is a tall order, sir. Tomura’s most recent act was a great service to humanity. all I’m saying is, you better not hype me up like the last new villain only to let me down, because don’t even get me started on that shitshow

so La Brava is all excited and asking what the next project is, and Gent is responding with a bunch of cryptic bullshit

so I guess we’re going to find out more about the history of heroes and when they became an established thing, huh? I’m 1000% on board with this and I may actually be even more excited for this than for the upcoming class 1-A rave, negl. good job getting this manga back on track, Horikoshi!

(ETA: I’m so thick, he’s clearly just talking about U.A. here lol)

so now we’re cutting back to U.A. and Vlad (who I almost called “Brad” again, it’s been so long) is talking to Aizawa about the cultural fest, and he’s all “so I heard class A is doing a rave huh?”

interestingly, this seems to be one of the rare occasions where Aizawa doesn’t seem to be 100% on board with their hijinks

stfu Aizawa. what’s more admirable than a fucking rave

now we’re cutting to the always adorable children of class A who are excited to plan their festival program

and some shadowy person is coming up to Bakugou and is all “did you hear?”

oh no wait they’re not talking to him, they’re talking to each other about class A right in front of him

um, whoa

y’all trying to start some shit, huh? gonna talk shit about his class when they’re trying to do something fucking nice?? like it’s their fault they keep getting attacked by fucking villains? okay then. hey on an unrelated note, go fuck yourselves

so are these guys just assholes or is this really what the rest of the school in general really thinks? because I can see why they might not exactly have a favorable impression of them, truth be told. Bakugou’s stunts at the sports festival didn’t exactly paint them in the best light. and most likely everyone has made the connection between the kidnapping and Kamino and the student dorms. and probably it’s not much of a secret who the two kids who were caught fighting on Ground Beta after hours were, either. so yeah

but it’s still a dick move to come and do this right in front of him when he’s not bothering you or anything, so fuck you still, and I will come over there and fight you if I have to, don’t think I won’t

fuck. well anyway, while I’m here grumbling and trying to take deep, calming breaths, we’re cutting back to Heights Alliance, and Iida is taking charge of a planning session

first they need to decide on the music, so Jirou is suggesting genres

she says they really should be doing EDM if the intent is to play dance music, but on the other hand everyone seems set on playing instruments. lol it would be funny though if everyone took turns DJing

so she’s asking if anyone in class plays bass or drums, and is met with a dead silence

she says she plays guitar mainly, so her drumming is only so-so. and she says that if she has to teach a beginner how to play drums then one month is not going to be enough time

OH MY GOD

I don’t fully understand what’s happening but ARE YOU IN FACT IMPLYING THAT MY SON KATSUKI KNOWS HOW TO PLAY DRUMS OH MY GOD. KATSUKI ARE YOU GOING TO BE IN A ROCK BAND!?

apparently the answer to that question is YES because class A knows all too well exactly how to manipulate him

MASTER OF PUPPETS I’M PULLING YOUR STRIIIIIINGS

lmao and JUST LIKE THAT

TOO EASY

holy shit. and it seems like he actually does know what he’s doing as well. go figure, he is good at virtually everything after all

well, this is everything I never knew I wanted. good show. excuse me for a moment, I’m gonna go play Song 2 by Blur and wonder what the season 4 OST is gonna be like

now he’s trying to walk away again lol

this is really just an open invitation for someone to come up with a convincing enough reason for him to do it without losing face

although part of me also wonders if maybe he would just rather not be in the spotlight for once. especially after overhearing those JERKFACES from the department of GENERAL JERKS earlier

oh my god Jirou

come on Kacchan don’t you want to be a good person?!

oh shit now he’s going on a tangent

he says nothing’s going to come of it

ahhhhhhhh. I see. so it’s that he’s pissed off at the other departments and doesn’t feel like they deserve class A’s niceness

ahhhh but Jirou looks crushed ;_;

Hagakure is kind of awkwardly being all, “hey, c’mon...”

but Bakugou says that what they’re doing is just “indulging the enemy”

and when exactly did it become Us vs Them though, I wonder. like, if the other classes are the enemy, that implies that your class is Not The Enemy though, yes? aww

oh shit. ohhhhh shit

oh my. and I didn’t even order any Bakugou feels. “yes, we know,” Horikoshi says, holding out the delivery bag. “these are on the house. please accept our gratitude on account of being such a loyal customer”

oh shit you guys. so what do I even do with these. should I meta about them or should I just eat them while they’re still hot

lol, but yeah. “I didn’t ask to be kidnapped. we didn’t ask to be attacked.” people acting like it’s their fault and like they’re enjoying the attention. and maybe once upon a time he did want that, but it’s one thing to fantasize about being famous for being the number one bestest coolest hero, and quite another to wind up actually in the spotlight because you’re the kid who keeps getting attacked by sludge monsters and Villain Leagues. and then people act like you brought it on yourself because you were too cocky. especially when we know that on some level he does blame himself, so it stings all the more

so why should they go out of their way to try to support people like that? it’s almost like they’re apologizing to those assholes, and fuck that

mmm. [munching] so anyway let’s see where this leads

hahaha. what

oh my god this fucking kid

lol. okay so he is on board, then, but just to make it ABSOLUTELY CLEAR, he is not out to “support” anyone, but rather he is declaring war. via drums. that’s right

well hey, however you need to frame it! at the end of the day he has agreed to help, so!

the other kids seem to be on the same page as me lol

yep. WE’LL TAKE IT

JIROUUUUU

;_____; I LOVE YOU SO MUCH JIROU

and now we’re cutting back to Gent and OH MY GOD

CAN YOU PLEASE. NOT

JESUS CHRIST. CAN THEY NOT JUST HAVE JUST ONE FUCKING THING. LET BAKUGOU DECLARE A DRUM WAR AND LET JIROU SHARE HER MUSIC WITH EVERYONE AND LET ERI HAVE A GOOD “DATE” WITH HER DOTING BIG BROTHER MIRIO AND LET THEM JUST RELAX WITHOUT ANY VILLAIN ANTICS

goddammit. I mean like, Gentle’s idea of villainy would probably be to whip out a violin and challenge them to a classical battle of the bands. but even polite villain antics are really not going to be good for U.A.’s PR at the moment. and this guy films everything he does. and just. we don’t need this sob

BONUS:

everyone this is Agoyamato Tsutsutaka and Togeike Chikuchi. that’s literally all this is. just their names. did we really need to know this lol oh well

[izzyizumi]

Taishiro Fic Notes: REPEAT?_

Ch. 4, pt. 1 under the cut! (skipping pts./chapters 2+3 for now, will get back to them later!) (beginning fic notes: here) (original fic outline: here)

- This chapter was super embarrassing omg Taichi WHY ARE YOU EMBARRASSING - Taichi voice “IT’S NOT MY FAULT” - ok but it actually isn’t maybe you’re ok Taichi [specific dialogue notes] - ‘wait you do THAT with him and you're just gonna LEAVE, that's even worse maybe?!’ tbh I agree with rambly Taichi here like (ok but jk jk but [Taichi avoided the BAD END?? ?]) (lbr if he had left and didn’t get to join on the dig eventually, well.....) (thinking about it I didn’t plan it this exact way but maybe subconsciously kind of had them stay together during the whole time because if they did separate who knows what could have happened to them) (basically them being around each other also can maybe help stop the loop?) - ‘but his skin is giving off a surprising amount of shine’ yeah Koushiro’s inner glow is REALLY going off here (lbr Koushiro is. pleased. yeah) (.... I didn’t plan this exactly this way either but legit now that I think about it this could parallel things too .....) - ‘ "shin-ji-te-ru" ("shinjiteru", "believe")’ this bit was explained in the notes for this part but also thinking about it (YEAH) (... ok this bit was planned but unplanned is) (maybe Koushiro subconsciously was getting some hope back from all of this yeah .....) (I was kinda thinking the new meeting with Taichi in this timeline kind of helps him subconsciously start believing in things [himself] again??) - ‘ I believe in you ‘ (that too) (re: Taichi) (lbr though he never stops believing in Taichi though) - ‘  He seems to not quite know what to do with himself still, when he looks up suddenly, as if sensing, and his black eyes stare right at Taichi. ’ ok this bit was planned a bit. Basically Koushiro was going about in a sort of mental daze earlier (because of the previous nights’ events too but also because of his dreams, the name in the back of his mind.... etc. etc.) but for once it was a more... pleasant one? anyhow, their subconscious both probably ping whenever the other’s around (naturally too) but probably extra so for Koushiro, yup. it doesn’t help that Koushiro’s hyper aware in canon too at many points like that comes with the Knowledge thing and having a sharp mind and noticing the little details yup - ‘ "...Your tie...?" ('I FORGOT MY TIE--') ‘ ok this part was NOT super intended but... “Tai” puns.... (a-ahahaha) (look, dubverse probably does exist in background timelines somewhere too, ok) (even though I don’t typically write in it anymore) (and I disliked a lot of the script changes/etc. even re: some important Taishiros) (..... negl the overly 90s vibe of the dub and their overall personalities/voice actors there still give me feelings too though yeah ;;) (so take this as a sort of mini tribute aha) (... oh also. still. maybe. “Ta-i-”--) - ‘ Koushiro interrupts him this time. "...! Your name -- I, um, didn't..." He suddenly seems like he's about to think hard, like a thought came to mind all of a sudden, and he wants to think about it but he's trying to keep his gaze focused on Taichi too, his mouth pursed but a bit uneven as he tries to keep ...steady. ‘ Again, relating to him trying to subconsciously remember Taichi’s name from the last part. (Koushiro’s trying to subconsciously keep him from leaving too, maybe) (they weren’t as in danger here this time since Taichi would have stayed in most instances but yeah, if either of them leaves...) (and um. no comment on ‘steady’) - "...I-It's Taichi. Yagami Taichi." There's a fraction of a section of silence. Koushiro keeps staring. (SUBCONSCIOUSLY REMEMBERING ALERT SUBCONSCIOUSLY REMEMBERING ALERT) (Koushiro’s probably like “.........” mentally right there) (even if it takes a fraction of a second for him to actually react yup) - ‘ "...Taichi-san, then." ‘ dun dun dunnnnn (SUBCONSCIOUSLY REMEMBERS THE “-SAN”) (AND THAT IT’S “TAICHI-SAN”) - "Normally, I'd call you Yagami-san." Taichi freezes. Koushiro's mouth quirks -- just slightly. "...But I think we've become too acquainted for that." (THAT TOO) (Koushiro in this verse is overall quite professional, so he WOULD have used Taichi’s last name with -san, not his first name, which indicates just a bit more closeness normally - while still being formal enough) (not in a professional/work setting, though, maybe) (basically Koushiro’s mind pinging him with ‘it’s Taichi-san’ ‘only Taichi-san’) (... Koushiro is stubborn like that ??) - ‘ "I... look, Koushiro? (He really deserves an honorific from Taichi's idiotic self, for once, but then again Taichi literally already used his name since...) ‘ (...since the night before, yes, Taichi) same thing here (Taichi subconsciously remembers to use ‘Koushiro’ sans honorific) (he does that normally with most people anyway, but Koushiro’s special yup) (because Koushiro doesn’t take offense to him using only ‘Koushiro’ when he normally might with someone he doesn’t know well or like, and that maybe makes Taichi feel kind of nice too) - ‘ I swear I don't want to hurt you or anything, I really really--" "You haven't hurt me." ‘ Taichi seriously did not want to hurt Koushiro ok Koushiro SERIOUSLY is not hurt by it ok (ok but this was also to emphasize yes it was consensual and yes they both very much enjoyed it) (... also Koushiro puts a freaking huge amount of trust in Taichi yup) -’  "Even during that," Koushiro adds, almost maddeningly. "...Taichi-san." Koushiro pauses, blinks a bit, suddenly. "...That wasn't where my train of thought was originally going, but it was..." Koushiro corrects himself. "What you... we... did..... it was nice. Taichi-san." ('Uh?!') "Very nice. ... You really haven't hurt me." ‘ (again, emphasized) ‘That wasn’t where my train of thought was originally going’ - it actually wasn’t, p-pfft. but yeah, Koushiro’s maybe uh. remembering the night before and realizing yeah, he should emphasize this and stop Taichi from freaking out further - ‘ ('"Nice?'"... "Very"? - Or? But-' 'Wait, what else can you really expect--?! Your sorry ass should be GRATEFUL he even called it 'nice' after that, he should be DROPKICKING YOU INTO THE STRATOSPHERE RIGHT ABOUT NOW--!!') ‘ (I’M SORRY TAICHI PICKING ON YOU IS FUN) (but yeah lbr Taichi you’re seriously lucky Koushiro is seriously too kind for his [and your] own good) - ‘ "N-No, I meant-" Taichi feels about ready to fall right where he's standing. "Not like that, but like - I don't want to hurt you. Koushiro. I really don't want to hurt you, I messed up, you don't deserve--" "You really haven't hurt me." Koushiro is insisting now, driving his gaze into Taichi, and Taichi's words falter and fall. He stares back at Koushiro. "I... you..." "It was... enjoyable." Koushiro is looking away again, and Taichi isn't sure if he should feel worse or not? Koushiro's eyes flicker back to Taichi. "What I'm trying to say, Taichi-san, is... I don't mind." "...But I'd like to know more about you, too." Taichi's mind freezes to a complete halt. Again. ‘ /DUN DUN DUNNNNN aaaand Koushiro drives the point home (also, when Koushiro looks away - Koushiro’s tendency to look away when he’s nervous or closed off, yeah?) (Taichi notices and he really hates seeing Koushiro worried/upset even moreso if it’s because of him so yeah) (this relates to a bit in pt. 2 as well... towards the end yeah .....) (but it’s ok Taichi, Koushiro was nervous because of all of this ok) (.... also Koushiro was maybe a bit calculated here too like he often is when he’s trying to make a point, especially a serious point) ... ok thinking about it too I should probably mention this now, but. So in this universe, it’s a ‘nevermet’ AU, right? in the original fic outline, I mention how the timelines become so messed up even nevermet AUs form? well, I imagine in quite a number of them, they might subconsciously be trying to stay away from each other (or not interfere with each other) - this later kind of relates to Taichi speaking with the younger Koushiro in his dream towards the end. Each of the two eventually blames themselves, subconsciously, and they don’t want the other to keep dying because of them. They know it’s pointless to keep trying, but... (ok but they seriously need to stop blaming themselves they were kids they were kids they didn’t ask for this ok. ok.) Well, so, in some nevermet AUs, depending, they’re maybe subconsciously putting themselves far away from the other, as if maybe that’d also help keep the loop stable or something, somehow. Because if they never meet, maybe the other won’t die, right? The other of them will be safe, right? It’s better this way, right? (..... hahahaha) So in the above section - Koushiro’s basically subconsciously making a decision. To pursue this timeline with Taichi further, yes. Maybe this time, they can... - ‘ Koushiro looks down. "....I'm not very good with feelings, though." ‘ .... he really isn’t (especially not in this verse) (I’M SORRY KOUSHIRO)

(but in canon too) - ‘ "K-Koushiro..." Taichi's voice is a bit weak. "N-no, you... you deserve so much better than this kind of - one night stand, or one night stands, or - I'm really bad at this, too--" "I'd be fine with just one night stands." Taichi is about to open his mouth to protest again (something like 'don't be fine with that!!') ‘ ... yeahhhhh so if it wasn’t obvious enough in fic basically, Koushiro is ... struggling ..... a lot in this timeline, yeah. (also indirectly paralleled by the original Koushiro/our Koushiro struggling) he’s probably been through Depression Hell and back multiple times even (... it’s probably chronic by this point, to be honest?) (I think canon Koushiro probably deals with it a bit easier, but still... it has a tendency to resurface down the road, and especially with this timeline) (not helped by the adoption reveal still not having happened) and tbh (he probably would be fine with just one night stands.) (but Koushiro that’s the wrong way to go about it here, maybe) ok but Taichi’s thinking right here yeah (’don’t be fine with that!!’) - ‘ but Koushiro shuts him up with his next line -- "...But I really wouldn't mind more than that, too." "When I said I want to get to know Taichi-san, I .... meant it." Taichi feels himself physically drain. ('M-maybe it's ok?? Maybe I haven't royally screwed up completely yet??') ('Maybe....') ‘ ok so here (dun dun dunnn) Taichi’s giving in yeah ok but also he was probably mentally freaking out thinking like -- Our War Game kind of, you know?? like the Taiora wasn’t canon intended yeah (it was due to staff not knowing about Sorato endgame) and I don’t intend it here either (Taiora’s actually kind of like... close to the very bottom of my ship preferences I’m sorry [even moreso than Koumi tbh there I said it I’d still take Koumi in more certain ways/fanworks I’m just extremely picky with it] and I very much prefer it [too] portrayed only in very specific ways though [same goes for Taiorato though I’m more open to that] like. again. I’m a multishipper I don’t mind fanworks and very much enjoy alternative portrayals too ok please leave me be. it’s just not in here though) but still, a similar feeling - he doesn’t want to screw this up, and definitely not with Koushiro (and this .....) (also, this kind of relates to mentioned Sorato in this universe a bit too, yeah.) (he’s not jealous over Sora, but he is maybe scared of losing more friends and being alone -- because this Taichi only had them for so long) (because he didn’t have Koushiro) [this chapter was kind of long so for longer ones I may revise these later!] [to be continued]