#neither one explaining how to start and i gave myself a headache trying to figure it out

[gayglitterqueen]

vent//

it does suck having had a chiari malformation, especially one that got so bad because i don't even think what it did to my brain counts as brain damage technically but it's been nearly three years since my surgery fixing it and it's still so hard to do so many things that used to be easy. like i can read and write and spell and count and joke and laugh again but reasoning is still so difficult

i hate trying to figure out how to do something because it feels like there's just a gap there where there didn't used to be and a lot of the time now when you ask people for help or clarification they get upset at you and assume you're asking because you're lazy

"just look it up!!" well i tried and the scrambled egg part of my brain still doesn't understand it so what now

i dunno. i know i'm miles better than i used to be, even a year ago, but it's so frustrating to know that i used to be able to think and reason so well and now i just. can't. and i don't even know how to describe to people what's wrong with me

brain damage is the easiest to understand, but is it even right???