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lrthreads · 4 years

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So for a while I haven’t been really feeling the urge to take photographs. And I don’t know if that was because of depression or moving on from that interest or what, but today I wanted to go take pictures of the lunar new year parade which was postponed to today, and I couldn’t because I didn’t want to cough all over everyone else who was there, and it really sucks.

#lrthreads whines #neurocompromised #creativity problems #lrthreads opens her cakehole

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buffriday-with-the-bees · 4 years

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a thing I didn’t need: my test anxiety and my Republic of Gilead anxiety combining in a dream

#seriously #i am not going to fail a math and programming test #and end up a handmaid as a result #furthermore #i am not subject to math and programming tests in real life #and i never used to have test anxiety #am fairly sure i don't have it in real life #anyway #dreams #lrthreads opens her cakehole #neurocompromised #nightmares

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buffriday-with-the-bees · 4 years

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So my psychiatrist keeps asking if I’ve been having flashbacks and I’m like no because I haven’t been flashing back to major traumas or things you would think would qualify as major traumas

But today I realized I keep flashing back to this one time when I saw this giant ant and completely froze and couldn’t talk

#i'm not particularly afraid of ants #not super fond of when sometimes on comes in through a window or whatever #but i wouldn't consider it a phobia #neurocompromised #my brain is awful i want a new one #lrthreads opens her cakehole #lrthreads whines #health related whining

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buffriday-with-the-bees · 5 years

Conversation

pharmacist: Were you expecting to be getting Drug A and Drug B?

me: Huh? What is the question exactly?

pharmacist: Drug A, which we already filled, and Drug B are very similar, did you mean to be getting both of them?

me: Yeah. Drug A is for what it says on the tin, my psychiatrist prescribes Drug B for ... stuff.

pharmacist: That's okay, we just wanted to make sure one of them wasn't being discontinued or something.

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buffriday-with-the-bees · 6 years

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Well this is fun

Fairly sure my body is releasing a bunch of compounds intended to counteract pain

except

here’s the thing

I don’t actually hurt. Well, not more than usual. Minor digestive grumbling which is to be expected.

I guess this is the opposite of being so stressed all my joints hurt for no reason.

This is pretty much functionally indistinguishable from a moderate panic attack and I do not like it

(This is my third day on this med and of course it waits until now to happen)

(Funny story, its first approved use was to lower blood pressure; pretty sure that’s not happening)

Okay ... 2 hours after taking and ~1hr after onset of PANIC things seem to be calmng down

#you can skip this #it's just #health related whining #isn't adjusting to new meds fun #not really #:P #neurocompromised #psych meds #the rare personal post

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buffriday-with-the-bees · 6 years

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Last night I had a dream that I was running from something (fairies? it wasn’t clear) and then I came to this particular tree ... I yelled “I am a daughter of Eve!” at the tree and it was supposed to somehow shift its roots aside to reveal a tunnel that I could hide in.

No idea what happened next because that’s when I woke up :P

#i said 'I am a daughter of Eve' aloud too #on the plus side I now have 2 data points as for times when I wake up and do or say something because of a dream #and 2 instances isn't really a pattern but it's certainly suggestive #i don't know enough neurochemistry to say why this might be happening but whatever #neurocompromised #the rare personal post #lrthreads opens her cakehole #health related whining

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buffriday-with-the-bees · 6 years

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“—when your own brain cells betray—”

#not sure why it never occurred to me to make that modification until now #or if it did i forgot #that seems likely #yes i'm finally watching the movie version of rent #i figured a day when i'm already bummed because of the news and hormone fluctations is a good day #that and i finally feel ready to see how the movie is different #(my period can end any time now ty)#neurocompromised #adam pascal's jon bon jovi hair is really distracting me #and i feel like the movie version plays up roger's jerkishness #which is definitely there in the musical #also whenever mark appears i automatically think 'ravenclaw scarf'#also it's so weird to see jesse l. martin and how they had his law and order character get shot and go on leave #so he could be in the movie #:P #the rare personal post #lrthreads opens her cakehole #also yes i'm fine #disgruntled and worried about a bunch of things that are out of my control but coping

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buffriday-with-the-bees · 7 years

Video

youtube

Let me talk to the answering machine I can cope with the answering machine I'm a friend of the answering machine

brought to you by my racing heart after being on hold for 6 minutes when all I wanted was to talk to the robot and the first time I pressed 1 do to that the system didn’t respond

phone anxiety is real and it sucks

#anxiety #neurocompromised #video #lrthreads whines #lrthreads opens her cakehole #the rare personal post #marillion

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