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#never staying too long in one place
thedreadvampy · 5 months
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My housemate is moving out in January
She told us this a week or two ago, when she sat down and, after sitting with us watching TV for over an hour, said "hey so I bought a house and I'm moving out. We agreed on 2 months notice so I won't move until the end of January."
The last time she talked in the immediate terms about buying a house was in 2021, when the sale she was working on fell though and she was unemployed so it was a "when I'm back in a position to look I'll start looking again." Since then I've occasionally asked her how she's doing on the house buying front and she's been like "oh I'm getting there financially" but hasn't mentioned anything concrete.
She didn't tell us she was looking at places. She didn't tell us she had put in an offer. She told us when the offer was finalised. A week AFTER she emailed the letting agent about getting out of her part of the lease. And, it increasingly feels like, only because the letting agent's response was that we had to agree to change the lease.
The letting agent's response (which our housemate obviously didn't copy us into; we had to follow up separately and they copied us into the email chain) also includes that when we change the lease, they're empowered to change the rent, quote, "no cap". Rent was already going up in January - there's no possibility of Sam and I paying her share of the rent.
The really fucking upsetting thing is we're not strangers. This isn't a casual "housemate we found on flatshare" thing. She and Sam have lived together literally their entire adult lives. Me and her have known each other well over a decade. I lived in her and Sam's flat when I was homeless. We were the first people she came out to as trans. We're not super close but I thought we were fucking friends. And she's literally gone out of her way to not talk to us about this for what must have been months while the sale completed - which means she's lied to my face at least once cause I've asked her about her finances in that time (cause she's in a job she hates that she only took to get the house money, so it's like. when we've been commiserating about work stuff I'm often asking 'are you almost free?'). she literally went out of her way to talk to the letting agents before talking to us about putting us in a situation where we could lose our fucking home.
And she keeps. trying. to pretend nothing's happened. Every time I've seen her since then she's not mentioned anything or apologised or anything, she just keeps chatting away and offering hugs and fistbumps like nothing's happened. Like we're still fucking friends.
All it would take for us to still be friends and to be happy for her would have been one fucking sentence in the groupchat like "hey, just put an offer in on a house" or "I'm looking at properties, just so you know, that might happen in the next few months". Like nobody begrudges her for buying a house! It's very cool for her! She's 31 she's worked really hard to get the money I would love to be happy for her! Unfortunately she decided avoiding conflict is more important than giving the people she fucking LIVES WITH (who btw fronted her a month on the rent here while she was unemployed and agreed to take on a larger proportion of the move-in cost back in 2021, if we're still holding ourselves to shit we said 2.5 years ago), so no, you are not entitled to our friendship or to going back to normal.
like if she'd been honest with us it would have been something to process but we'd have had time to figure out our next steps. instead she's left us in a position where we have to find a new roommate before she gives her one month notice, which means finding someone by the end of December, which oh look that's the middle of the fucking Christmas holidays. and she didn't tell us anything until the START of December, or copy us into her conversation with the letting agent, meaning we still don't know what the rent on that space will be so we aren't yet in a position to advertise it. Has she offered to help find a roommate? Has she fuck. Has she offered to help out by moving her move-out date? Nah, she's moving as soon as she gets the keys because, quote, "that means her finances won't have to change". SOUNDS LOVELY. NOT HAVING YOUR FINANCES SUDDENLY CHANGE. I THINK THAT SOUNDS LIKE A REALLY REASONABLE FUCKING GOAL.
Thirteen fucking years she's lived with Sam. Four fucking weeks over Christmas she's left us to figure out a way to not turbofuck our living situation. And she's got the fucking nerve to try and pretend we should be interacting like nothing's changed. Jesus Christ. What a fucking unhinged way to treat...anybody, honestly. never mind the friends-your-entire-adult-life part. literally cannot imagine a scenario in which I would buy a house without telling the people I lived with.
(haha actually this is what my parents divorced over so apparently it's not unusual. although at least my dad had the decency to tell the woman he shared finances with at the point he put in an offer not the point the fucking sale went through.)
Like we'll be fine. It's a huge city centre flat with decent rent and queer housemates, hopefully even when the rent goes up it'll be an easy sell in a city with a huge housing shortage and big queer community. We've got a couple of people interested already, sight unseen - worst case scenario we have to live with someone we don't get on with. And it's given Sam and me a push to look at our own finances and as of today, we've got a mortgage decision in principle and can start looking at flats in the area - mind, we'll be transparent upfront and tell any prospective housemates that yeah, we're looking to buy and move out in the next 6-12 months, and we'll tell them if we put an offer in, because we're decent fucking people who aren't going to spring that on someone out of the blue.
But it's been I think 2 weeks and I'm so fucking angry I could spit. It's such a fucking betrayal. And frankly you know selfishly like. I just had a breakup a couple of months ago, I'm in the middle of moving jobs, both me and Sam have a history of housing instability and this has been the first decent, stable, safe, not-mouldy not-freezing home I think any of us have had, and this is so fucking triggering and upscuttling I could just start biting. like I was talking to my friend about it last week and it's just like. Can I have One Fucking Thing of the three main tentpoles of survival - home, work, relationships - that are fucking stable right now? because shit has been In Flux lately. and at least the work and relationship stuff has changed because of my decisions. going through all that work to make myself short-term unstable to gain long-term stability has been really hard and draining and then just as I was reaching the crisis point with work stuff BOOM, IT'S HOUSING INSTABILITY WITH A STEEL CHAIR. fuck. seriously fuck this and fuck her. we're going to make something good come of it but what a deeply, unbelievably shitty thing to do.
#red said#the other thing that bugs me about it is. ok and again this is old shit dredged back to 2021 when we moved in together#but i had my housemate. and Sam had her. and each of us were really close pairs who'd lived together a long time#and we tried looking for flats as a four but a) a flat with 4 good sized bedrooms in Edinburgh is hens teeth#and b) my housemate was pretty happy to live with me and Sam but increasingly felt like a 4 man flat was going to be a lot for him#and so in the end we talked about it. and through a combination of that and same housemate being in a pretty#unfavorable position housing wise. cause she was unemployed and had shit credit at that moment.#we agreed she'd move with us and Joe went and found a one bed#and in the end that's been really great for him tbh he's a lot happier and more confident and we were pretty sick of each other by then#and so we get on much better now#but at the time it was a real heartache i felt like I'd let Joe down i felt like our friendship was over#and honestly I have never been a huge fan of living with our current housemate. even before we lived here#like when i was staying with her and Sam too. she's incredibly messy and takes up a lot of space in conversations#I've always liked her as a person but she's exhausting and often unpleasant to share space with#and there's a bit of me that's like. we bent over backwards to accommodate you when you were precarious.#like it would have been WAY easier for us to look for a 2-bed during 2021. and if it was a 3-bed I'd have rather stayed with Joe.#but we moved with her for her sake. and she left Sam to clean up their old place (and there were Literal Rats)#and she got really pissy about driving the moving van even though a) that was her idea and b) she's the only person with a license#and c) i walked all MY shit over by hand anyway and the only reason she hired the van was to move her tv#me and Sam found all the core furniture. me and Sam sorted out all the viewings. me and Sam did all the planning. Sam set up all the bills.#we spotted her for rent!we took a bigger share of the costs! because we fucking cared about her and wanted her to have a fucking home!#and she can't even do us the courtesy you'd offer a fucking lodger you found on fucking gumtree
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buriedabove · 4 months
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leon’s living space really is just a bare mattress in the middle of the room, a tv on the floor, and maybe a singular chair.
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silenthillbunni · 2 months
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☃️
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 months
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...
#its sort of funny. i think my medication is working pretty well. i feel stable in a way i never really have before#is it the dopamine stablizer or is it my ion channels? whos to say. it doesn't matter. but it also doesnt change some things#the ways i think and react negativly to change. but it makes it easier to deal with. i still experience this strange dispaire on the#weekends or anytime im not working. i think the oddest thing is thst i dont think ive ever been this consistenly sad#not in a depressed sort of way. just a passing thoughts make me tear up sort of way. it doesnt feel out of control. it just feels like a#prelude to grief i guess. bc my mum is still in the hospital and its so hard to kno what that means from halfway across the country#my sisters are both home right now. they both live within 3hrs of where we grew up. one sister lives in the city my mom goes to for#treatment. so they have the opportunity to see her more than me. i dunno if they do tho. we dont really talk. i dont kno if they're as sad#as i am. if im overreacting bc i cant physically see what's happening. what the feeling is in the room. not that she would probably complain#shes the suffer in silence type. my dad keeps texting us pics of our shitty lil sunroom that hes redoing#to make my mum a lil sanctuary. he must be sad too. its his wife. hes staying with her in the hospital rn. i dunno its so weird#when i talk to my counselor she assumes i find out info thru calls or talk to my sisters abt it and i gotta b like nah we dont really talk#i get my info thru text. i havent talked to my parents on the phone in like a month. i dunno we just dont talk. so i dont kno how to reach#out and be like yo so whats up? shoulf i plan on coming home this summer for a bit?? like???#this is the disadvantage of leaving thr place where you grew up. probably when i finish my phd i should move closer to home#somewhere in the Appalachian mountains maybe. somewere in the eastern deciduous forrest. somewhere with thunderstorms.#but thats years from now. who knows what ill b doing. for now im just sad and tired and i dont quite kno what to do in the short or long#term bc im feeling the weight of my mental limitations rather intensely. but maybe im just being self limiting#whatever. i dont have a dead mum yet. shes not even on hospice care. things are just uncertain and dont look so hot#i just dont see how it can get better from here when chemo gave her secondary blood cancer and shes still full of tumors#i dont think im being that dramatic. it just objectively seems not great for survival#unrelated
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madhushala · 8 months
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I MISS BOYF
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spotlightstudios · 23 days
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Posting this from my laptop which is weird, but I'm gonna use the tags to think about an idea for a TMA avatar-sona.
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daz4i · 3 days
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i am so confused and terrified by the idea of marriage fr. how can you commit long term to just one person. how can you know you won't get tired of them at some point, possibly even pretty soon. and like it's one thing to emotionally commit but doing all the bureaucracy bullshit? or worse, those expensive extravagant weddings that cost like a new apartment would? why go through all this. and how can you
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solradguy · 1 year
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Spending a lot of time and money to make a custom bright red leather jacket just to be the specialist man in the bakery section of the grocery store was such a great investment. I love my red jacket. Everyone should make their own special jacket
#textpost#I love my black jacket with the jackalope and terminator skull and cyborg demon skull on it too#But the red one has a thermal liner and the pockets are more comfortable#Even though it's the same exact size as the black one it's like very very slightly shorter??#Which is fine until I need to zip it up and then it looks kinda dumb#But honestly I never zip these things up anyway because they also have laced sides and#well. with all my belts stuff too.. then with the jacket zipped up it's kinda like#Who's this guy with the very fitted slightly too short screaming bright red jacket with the slutty laced up sides#Doing here at the vaguely Christian family lunch and breakfast restaurant#See the problem is that I love being a bit of a special snowflake and I'm tall enough and look angry by default enough that#I can get away with looking a lil saucy and out of place all of the time. What're they gonna do? Get made at me about it lol#I've never had anyone get angry with me about how I dress/look in public which I appreciate a lot#But I get a lot of stares. That used to bother me but I don't notice now and it's funny going out sometimes with my#super self aware/shy sister because she's like 'everyone is staring at me/us :(' and I'm like 'what. who?'#I dyed my mohawk purple the other day btw and this new leave-in conditioner is great#My hair's like idk 8 inches? on top now and the conditioner is almost enough to make it stay up on its own again#Sorry this got long I'm exceptionally sleep deprived and stoned#Instead of Jack-O' posting I'm jacket posting tonight hah!#The shade of red I used for my jacket was fire red btw lol#I wanna put more spikes on it
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dent-de-leon · 2 months
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Would give anything to see Kingsley get to walk into the tower for the first time and fall asleep in the room Caleb always kept waiting for him. The familiar ache of fleeting memories, the comforting warmth of a love he’s always known. Caleb taking King on a tour, every new wonder and marvel absolutely captivating him. Even the simplest spells and little tricks bringing a smile to his face. As magical as the charming little plays and fairytales of Lucien’s childhood.
Caleb holding his Circus Man in his arms again. Tealeaf feeling like he finally has a home for the first time in the longest time.
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musubiki · 10 months
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okay thinking what if while like travels around he actually finds where mochi is at but she has to hide so he doesnt find her. and shes like looking at him from her hiding spot and gets so torn up about it
UHHGG MY HEART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HE WOULD BE SO PISSED AT HER IF HE WOULD EVER FIND THIS OUT!!!!!!!!!!!
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nakeurnes · 3 months
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oououuuowowaah story of undettale
#TSUAUSUSBGGHyzhaa i HATE OUR BROTHER I HATE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH NO MATGER HOW HARD I TRY all GHE SHIT I DO TO TEY AND SYMPATHIZE WITH HIM HE#FUCKING THRNS AROUND AND IS A DICK TO ME FOR NO RESON AND !!!! YLS AT ME FOR NO REAON SOMETIEMS SHUT UL SHUT UP YOURE LITERALLY 13 STFU#i fucking hste it here i hate being fcjingg 18 and having to share the sMe room with him i have sincd he wzz BORN.#GOD. ONE FUCKING NIGHT ALONE WIYHOUY HIS ANNOYING ASS I CSNT EVEN JERK OFF OR STAY UP LATE OR LISTEN TO LOUD MUSIC#AND LIKE IM HALDWy fhinking OH! OM BEING IRRATIONAL jd spLITTING AGAIN AND I AM. BYT HE IS JST A DICK I HATE TEENAGE BOYS I HOPE HE DIES#hes SO FUCKING MEAN hes cslldd me slurs and a bitch multiple times in the most derogayory way and i hate him#he knows abg the zysfem too snd just CHOOSES TO IGNORE IT APPARENTLY DOESNG CARE WHO HES TALKING TO.#auuggh moments i regret being ghe host i hate it here.#i hate our familh theyre just fu jing mean yhis shit builxing up is whzg made me snap in the first place!!! and couldng host for a long time#andd now im upset and spiralling and i dont wang to be a bother espcially sijce spe ific ppl i wantto talk to arsnt thefe an d it makes me#very very bvery sa d i msis my friends#i cry everry day miss ing them i have beene really liking remembering things with nicki#no onee knwos wht im talking about or wjo i am#i dont want to be useless please need me i jave no other purposs#im a nuisance to ppl whow ant to front#i sit here living in the past that doesnt exist anymore and pray every day for it to come baxk knowing it wont ever come back#i miss . my friends i dont tthink they like me#im too pushy when im happy and when im upset im too cold i never make anyoke happy an d i talk too muc h and it hurts wberyone#icant even ve of goo d use to mmy actual children in headspace im an awful mother i cant stay stable enough tk help anyone or do anything#me being here has only caused problems and I remember why i left before#me when i spiral and makenmsyelf sonmu h more upset than before#vent#shelly
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louderfade · 5 months
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youtube
exene talking about the state of the world. the good stuff starts at eight minutes. or you can just read the transcript complete with the usual errors that accompany robot transcribed speech (the irony of which is not lost on me). maybe it's not about transhumanism and living forever (or maybe it is who knows), but there's definitely an agenda of surveillance and control at work which is designed to keep the powerful in power. cash rules everything around me and you will own nothing etc. the future is worse.
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#google has helpfully flagged this as a 'conspiracy theory' which let me know it was definitely worth paying attention to#sometimes a conspiracy theory turns out to be flatearth-tier but anything those in control are putting effort into discrediting#concerns me and makes me look deeper. if they're going to the effort to control the discourse there's something there that#threatens them. anything google calls a conspiracy theory is worth a closer look. it often means someone has gotten too close to the truth.#she's brave to be talking about this shit they basically cancelled her and forced her to apologize for talking about how they want#to take our guns and the media is lying to you and stirring up fear so they can get away with passing gun control#like wtf leftists should be all about gun rights. a disarmed population is totally at the mercy of the state's authority#it's not very punk to surrender entirely to regimes in power and let the only people with guns be the police#like c'mon guys we need guns. and it's like drugs. they exist anyway. better they do so in broad daylight than in the shadows#they let adam curits talk about this stuff for some reason and no one calls him a conspiracy theorist idk why but there's a reason#i guess his stuff is not a threat to them bc it's dense and heady and seven hours long so the masses will never absorb it#ex punk rocker yelling about new world order in plain language monologues of digestible length is a much bigger threat#i swear there are secretly fifty people in control of everything and their entire aim is to make sure it stays that way no matter what#but it's really gross how obvious it's getting like the whole system just funnels money straight to the top and they don't even care#about hiding it anymore they're just doing it out in open and denying objective reality with confidence it's too much sometimes#i swear i can feel my grasp on reality deteriorating. it's as if there were a loud buzzing in the out of doors that was getting#louder every day and nobody ever said anything to acknowledge that it was real nobody talked about hearing the buzzing but it just#keeps getting louder and i'm finally like wtf is with this buzzing and everyone gets mad at me for shouting over their netflix show#that they weren't really enjoying in the first place. like no one is happy in the modern world. why can't we talk about why without#turning against each other. that's why doug saying 'maybe we're all the same' is such a big deal to me. anyone who is trying to unite us#is doing important work. that trump supporter is not the enemy. they are the victim just like you.
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othercrossee · 1 year
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One thing about the bad au is that adaman desperately want to be in irida presence, they both understood each other due to their role in ways no one else could. Even worse he was with her when he saw that she was slowly slipping away from everything, from her home, her friends, herself, from him. And it might be his fault that pushed her to that edge too, he wasn't different. To him, she was. To her? He was the same as everyone else.
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rosykims · 1 year
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THE CHAMPION OF KIRKWALL
What can be said about Cillian Hawke that hasn’t been sung about in countless taverns, the source of endless drunken rambling and exasperated laughter? The Tale of the Champion lacks the traditional hallmarks of more classical folklore; indeed, Hawke is hardly a truly noble warrior nor a fully righteous hero. What he is – far-fetched escapades aside – is a person, lowly and ordinary, whose adventures have come to symbolize a triumph for the lowly and ordinary people. And it’s for that reason you won’t hear moving renditions regaled by court poets or prestigious bards. The wise know his is a story best joked about in the comfort of one’s home or ignoble bar of choice, shared between a few good friends and too many cheap drinks. [template]
[Except from ‘Faces of the Dragon: Figures of Fame and Notoriety Throughout the Dragon Age’ by Brother Genitivi]
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delphina2k · 1 year
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Sombulus Blorbo Spotlight - Yanell Yanell song from my Sombulus playlist: State Radio - Calling all Crows
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sayonaramidnight · 7 months
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I'm playing my Barbie dolls again and making myself a little sad.
I'm also holding my friends' dolls gently in my hands, happy.
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