how about, fake text with bf! skz when they get baby fever๐๐๐ป๐๐ป
bf!skz when they get baby fever.
โฐ pairing : bf!skz x afab!reader
โฐ genre : fluff (just skz wanting to have a baby with you)
โฐ warnings : subtle mentions of sex and pregnancy, lmk if i missed one.
โฐ notes : i am NOT taking requests, i just want ideas for ot8 headcanons, you can send one anonymously if you want! i'll post them while writing a few of my wips. also, thank you anon for sending me one and i also thank @l3visbby for changbinโs idea mehehe DO NOT FORGET TO REBLOG, COMMENT AND LEAVE TAGS after it! thank you so much <33
โฐ tags : @notastraykid , @ameliesaysshoo , @l3visbby , @reignessance , @lix-ables , @skzfelixlove , @rachabreathing , @hyunverse , @minluvly , @sleepyleeji
masterlist | taglist.
chan โโโ lee know
changbin โโโ hyunjin
han โโโ felix
seungmin โโโ jeongin
ยฉ๏ธ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ , ๐๐๐๐.
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PAIRING: bang chan x reader
GENRE: fluff, established relationship
WC: 449
WARNINGS: implications of sleep disorder
"Chris, I think I can hear the music layers," you said to your boyfriend one peaceful afternoon. Your pupils moved left and right as if following the sound from the headphones you were wearing, freaking him out.
"Baby, how long did you sleep last night?" he asks, taking off his headphones. He had promised to come over during the weekend, yet, he sat still in front of his laptop, working on something for the last hour. Leaving you to do something by yourself.
You shrug in response, not providing the answer he needs. He sighs. It's not the first time you made that claim and every time, you're only running on 3 hours of sleep.
Not that you're ignorant about the little details, but somehow it fascinates you even more when you're lacking sleep. As if you're taking some drugs and give your imagination a little bit more to work on. Is there any research on this? Well, you were so busy with work that you never bothered looking it up.
"Let's go" Chris plucks the headphones from your ear, taking your hand in his. "You need sleep. Now."
Chris drags you to the bedroom, turning on the air conditioner before closing the blinds. You sat on the edge of the bed, fidgeting with a strand of thread on the corner of your shirt.
"But I'm not sleepy," you said quietly. You blink twice at Chris. "I haven't seen you all week, and you're working, and I'm working, and we barely get the chance to talk or watch movies or eat together or cuddle..." your voice getting smaller as you list the things you usually do with him.
He immediately melts at the statement, unable to counter it.
"Baby..." he coos. Chris walks over to you, cupping your face in his hands, slightly tilting it upwards. You pout at him, trying not to cry. Another thing that comes out of lack of sleep.
"Let's take a nap first, yeah? Then we can arrange a date." He plants a small kiss on your pouting lips. You nod in response before lying down. As soon as your head hits the pillow, Chris notices your eyes fluttering shut. Smiling to himself, he took his spot next to you after turning off the lamp.
"I want sushi," you request. "I can hear your heartbeat," you said again, breathing steadily to match its rhythm.
With a yawn, you murmured a small I love you.
Your sleep was sealed by a kiss on the top of your head, along with a soft I love you from Chris. After this, he's taking a much-needed day off to spend with you. At least he owes you that.
a/n. i want sushi to break my fast later... also tomorrow is debut anniversary!!!! my second one since i become a stay. it's funny how the time went ((not really, i mostly cried this year but anyways))
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In the Labyrinth (M) ~Changbin
Pairing: Minotaur!Changbin x AFAB.Reader
Themes: Mythical AU | Angst | Smut | Fluff
Word Count: ~14k | AO3
Synopsis: The Labyrinth was an enigma for most people. Its existence was known, but what exactly happened within it was a complete mystery. When you entered the Labyrinth, you werenโt really sure what youโd have to come face to face withโฆ Not even in a million years would you have guessed just exactly what youโd find in here.
Warnings: descriptors of the reader such as: having long hair ยท mentions of murder ยท mentions of assault ยท depictions of anxiety ยท violence (in many different forms) ยท Changbin is 300cm tall (feels like that warrants a warning) ยท graphic depictions of outercourse (smut warnings under the cut). - feel free to let me know if i missed any.
Authorโs Note: shout out to the anon that sent this ask back in august and ingrained the mental image of minotaur!changbin in my brain. more notes at the end.
Due to all the abovementioned warnings, this story is intended for an adult audience only.ย Minors please do not interact.
Smut Warnings: size kink ยท literal monster cock (heโs a giantโฆ and a half-bull, half-man one at thatโฆ) ยท nipple play ยท mutual masturbation ยท non-penetrative sex.
Disclaimer:ย the story presented in this work does not represent Stray Kids in any way; anything described in this story and all actions performed by the characters are purely fictional, this was created just for good fun.
The sound of your footsteps bounced off of the walls. The corridors were more than spacious, well over twenty metres wide, with the ceiling probably twice as high, but even if it wasnโt crowded in here, it still made you a bit claustrophobic.
You supposed that the few holes in the ceiling did help ease that feeling a little bit. Emphasis on a little bit.
Even if you werenโt particularly thrilled about being down here, you still walked, because there was simply nothing else to do.
You couldโve sat down and awaited your death exactly where you had landed when they threw you in here, but you were never one to remain still for too long.ย
So, after having a good crying session, and after hours had passed since youโd been given your death sentence, you had finally stood up and started to walk.
You knew what this place was, although youโd never really seen it. You hadnโt even known it was here in this exact area.ย
The Labyrinth.
It was said that the place was humongous, practically never-ending, built by a king in ancient times as an offering to the Gods. Presumably, itโd ended up buried in the earth as time passed, and it stretched over kilometres and kilometres of land, but no one had really seen it and lived to tell the tale. At least, no one you knew of.
Law enforcement clearly knew the place, but you werenโt really sure if you could call them people. After all, they had never taken you seriously when youโd sought out their help. In a way, you felt like it was their fault youโd ended up here in the first placeโฆ
Although youโd heard of this place, you never really imagined itโd look like this inside. The brick walls were looking a bit worn down, but still structurally sound. They were lined with torches lit with eternal fire, just like the tales said. The floor would alternate between dirt, gravel, actual flooring, and mud.ย
As you walked, you saw some ponds, some that even had fish inside. You figured that could be a potential way out, but you werenโt sure how deep youโd have to swim or if thatโd be viable at all, so you scrapped the thought altogether.ย
Sometimes, youโd see trees. Especially in those areas where there were holes on the ceiling.ย
Some of those holes were partially blocked by metal rods, like law enforcement realised they were there and did the minimum required to keep a person or an animal from falling inside. Others were fully open, they varied in sizes, but they were honestly too high up for a person to reach them.
The trees, the mismatched flooring, and the occasional patch of grass werenโt that odd, though. They fit in well, and their presence made sense. What did feel out of place were the drawings on the walls.ย
They werenโt on every wall, but there were so many of them it was hard not to notice they were there. Some looked like theyโd been there for a long time, the colours were a bit washed out and some of the pigment had probably been absorbed by the brick overtime. Others looked like they couldโve been made a few weeks ago.
Birds, trees, deer, the sun, the moonโฆ They were mostly nature themed, and, in any other context, you mightโve been inspired by the artistry. Even if they intrigued you, it was hard to appreciate them when you felt so hopeless, when you felt soโฆ empty.
As soon as you had stopped crying earlier, you had accepted your fateโhow long had it been since then? How long have you been walking for? Hours? How many? It was hard to tell down hereโฆย
You realised just how much time had passed once you noticed another hole in the ceiling. You mightโve missed a few before, since it was clearly now well into the night and there was no light to highlight their presence.ย
The faint stars you could see out of that hole made a knot form in your throat and tears well in your eyes.ย
This was unfair.
You shouldnโt be the one in here.ย
If anything, it shouldโve been him.
If anyone had paid attention to you, it wouldโve been him.
But instead, here you were.
You found a patch of grass under that hole you saw, so you just laid down and curled in on yourself and called it a night.
As the tears started to fall again, you reminded yourself that you had accepted your fate.
There was no going back now.
It was hard to tell how long youโd been inside the Labyrinth for.ย
The first couple of days, you kept count diligently, but at some point you realised it was absolutely pointless. Why would you even want to know that information, if you werenโt going to be able to leave?
You were on your own here.ย
Youโd seen items that clearly belonged to someone at some point scattered around the many corridors of the Labyrinth, but you hadnโt seen a single soul. Only the fish youโd caught from the occasional pond you found that helped keep your stomach full, or the odd magpie that would come from one of the ceilingโs holes and jump around for a bit before taking off and leaving you alone once again.
You were on your own hereโฆ That was, as long as the stories werenโt true.
At first, you thought that the death sentence meant youโd be locked here to starve to death, but that logic started to crumble when you saw just how many sources of sustenance were available. Fresh water, fruit, fish, birdsโif one was skilled enough to be able to hunt one of those, or at least have the will toโฆ
You wondered if law enforcement knew this place was like thisโฆ Whether they knew or not, you figured it probably didnโt matter. The longer you spent here, the more it made sense to you that the stories were true.
It was said that a beast lived inside the Labyrinth.ย
A beast that would make the strongest, bravest man cower in fear.
Some people said it had multiple sets of arms, or that it was as big as the royal library building, bigger than any temple anyone had seen. Others said it was such a deformed being that just the sight of it would kill you, and if that didnโt, it would make sure to do so by eating its victims piece by piece.
You knew these were nothing but stories to garner attention, for people to cause unnecessary chaos just because they could. If these people had actually seen this alleged beast, you supposed they wouldnโt even be alive to share their experience with the world.
You had never believed such a thing existed, but as nights and days went by, there was a smallโand very scaredโpart of you that believed it might be true. Maybe this beast was very real, and was roaming the corridors of the Labyrinth.
Even if youโd been lucky to have found a few ponds that were large enough for you to bathe in, you still had pretty much only what youโd been wearing since you were thrown in here. You had used those ponds to wash your peplos a few times, but, unfortunately, it wasnโt even in good shape to begin with, and rinsing it in water seemed to hardly help its condition.
Your feet ached, your sandals were certainly not meant to be used to walk these distances, and the feeling of your dirty garments, combined with the lack of human contact, were steadily driving you crazy with every day that passed. Maybe this was the punishment. To be driven to insanity by what would usually be a minor inconvenience, by the amount of nothing that was happening around you.
The fact that you kept seeing his face in your dreams didnโt help it one bit.
Sometimes, youโd see it even when you were awake. You just needed to close your eyes, and you immediately got flashes of red and the feeling of pure hatred and angerโฆย
You always felt like washing your hands after, like jumping into any pond or puddle you could find. And whenever you could, you did.
Unfortunately, no amount of hand-washing and bathing would make the feeling go away.
You figured youโd have to learn to live with it.
As you furiously scrubbed your palms for the millionth time that day, you started to hear something.
Your movements stopped, but your hands remained submerged in the pond. It was usually quiet inside the Labyrinth, save for the few birds thatโd sometimes fly and sing above you, or the occasional splashing fish inside the numerous bodies of water.ย
But, right now, you could definitely hear somethingโฆ Not only that, but you could feel something.
You could barely notice while you still had your hands under the water, but the rippling on the surface of it couldnโt have been made by you. Not when the little pebbles on the ground were shaking, too.
Thumpโฆ
Thumpโฆ
Thumpโฆ
Thumpโฆ
The sound seemed to be coming from the corridor on your right. It was growing closer, but your body wouldnโt move. You couldnโt move. You were just kneeling there, looking at the flickering torches lining the walls, with your hands still inside the pond, completely paralysed.
It wasnโt until you saw the shadow of something popping from around the corner that you actually came to your senses.
You had to run.
And you had to run now.
You stood up from the ground faster than you could even blink. Taking the lower part of your peplos with tight, wet fists, you just started to run as fast as you could.ย
You could practically feel your heart in your throat as anxiety started to kick in. You had convinced yourself that this beast didnโt exist, you had thought that since you hadnโt seen it in your time here, it mustโve not existed at all.
But the deep bellow that resonated within the corridor was proof enough that you had been severely mistaken.
It was so loud that the sound seemed to penetrate into your skin and rattle your bones from deep within. A ringing broke free in your ears, accompanying your agitated heartbeat.
Thumpโฆ Thumpโฆ Thumpโฆ Thumpโฆ Thumpโฆ Thumpโฆ Thumpโฆย
The whole ground shook with each heavy step the beast took, so much so, you tripped and fell into a path of rough gravel, ripping your clothing and scraping your knees in the process.
You couldnโt stop, though. There was no pain, no moment to think twice, you just stood up and kept running. You ran and ran and ran, turning the many corners of the Labyrinth as you wentโฆย
There was a little voice in the back of your mind telling you it was useless, but you didnโt want to hear it. You refused to hear it.
At least, until you turned and found yourself in a dead end.ย
Thumpโฆ Thumpโฆ Thumpโฆ Thumpโฆ Thumpโฆ Thumpโฆ Thumpโฆย
Whatever it was, it drew closer and closer, shaking the ceiling and the walls as it tried to catch up with you.
Maybe you could still escape it somehow. Maybe, youโd be able to run past it and lose it in the many corridors of the Labyrinth.
When you turned around, you realised just how foolish that thought had been.
The air escaped your lungs when your back hit the wall. Your feet werenโt touching the ground, and you could feel pressure on your sides from where you were being held against the wall.
Your vision was blurry from the lack of oxygen, you could barely make out the shape in front of you. Horns, fur, andโฆ and a face.
Youโd accepted your fateโฆ
Or so you had thought.
โPleaseโฆโ Your voice was barely above a whisper, not only due to how breathless you were after running for so long and after being pushed so forcibly against the wall, but also because the knot in your throat was just too big. โDonโtโDonโt hurt meโ.
The first tear fell down your cheek, and many more followed soon after. You couldnโt see properly. Whatever was in front of you, was big enough to shield all light from hitting whichever parts you couldโve potentially seen.
The creature huffed, and you closed your eyes tightly as its face moved closer to yours.
Its breath was warm against your face. You almost flinched, expecting the smell of rotten flesh to envelop you, but, instead, all you could smell was laurel.
You could feel yourself tremble in its hold as sobs kept escaping your throat. The creature sniffed you, first your face, then your neck. It got so close in its exploration that you could feel the tip of a textured, moist nose against your skin. You braced yourself for what was to come. You were sure it was getting ready to eat you whole, hopefully in one single chomp, so you wouldnโt have to suffer too muchโฆ
The thing pulled away from your neck, and just when you thought it was going to go for it, you were moving.ย
It was so unexpected you barely registered it.
One second you were pressed against the bricks, and the next your stomach was pressing against firm muscle, and your arms were dangling over the creature๏ฟฝ๏ฟฝ๏ฟฝs back. Almost like itโฆ like it had thrown you over its shoulder. And, after a few seconds of shock, you realised it had.
The beast had a strong hold on your back as it started to walk, presumably taking you somewhere.
You tried to blink the remaining tears away, at least enough so you could properly see something, anything.
You caught sight of the ground. You were definitely moving, and, for a moment, you thought you were imagining things.ย
You could see smooth skin, you could feel it against your arms and hands whenever they hit it as they moved with each of the creatureโs steps. Its back was very human-likeโฆ However, that smooth skin transitioned into dark fur towards the lower part of its body.
The tail of the creature swishing from side to side was the last thing you saw before you lost grasp of your surroundings.
Warmth.
You felt warm, but it wasnโt an unpleasant feeling. It was more likeโฆ a cosy feeling.
There was soft fabric under your hands, you could feel it dragging against your skin as your consciousness woke up.
Laurelโฆ The smell of it filled your senses with that first intake of breath.ย
Laurelโฆ like the beastโs breath.
Your eyes snapped open. They immediately landed on the patch of night sky that could be seen from the hole in the ceiling, right on top of you. You blinked slowly, taking in the sight of the twinkling stars above you.ย
Faint chewing sounds brought you back into the room, they made you remember what had happened before you lost consciousness. With quick movements, you sat up, and your breath hitched in your throat when your eyes locked onto the beast sitting a few metres in front of you.
Its eyes bore into yours as it chewed leisurely, on what you assumed to be a deer leg based on the shape of it. It didnโt make any movements, nor did it make any soundsโother than the occasional grunt when the meat was too stuck to the bone.
You were, quite honestly, speechless.
You had heard of the beast, but none of the descriptions truly matched what you were seeing right now.
A big, big creature. Inhumanly tall. Its torso was that of a man. Well defined, smooth, tanned skin, strongโvery strongโฆโpecs, nipples adorned with silver jewellery, even stronger looking arms, and, although bigger than you had ever seen them, very human-looking hands.ย
That torso transitioned into bovine-like lower limbsโcovered in thick, dark fur, strong thighs and calves, ending in hooves. But, most impactful, was its head. Human-looking as well, save for the pair of horns that protruded from its skull and a cattle-like nose. The horns were decorated with thick silver rings that glistened with the very few torches lit around the room.
Its face, thoughโฆ Chubby cheeks, pouty lips, and a strong, but bull-looking nose, pierced with a thick silver hoop. Objectively, the face of a handsome man, all things consideredโฆ
You had truly never, ever seen anything like it.
The way it was looking at you felt purposeful, like it wasnโt doing it just for the sake of it, but more like it was aware of your presence in a conscious, coherent way. It wasnโt just the way an animal would look at another animal, more like a human would look at another human.
You swallowed, suddenly hyper aware of your body. Everything hurt. Your feet, your knees, your armsโฆ you were sore all over. When you finally broke eye contact with the creatureโmanโฆ?โin front of you, and looked at yourself instead, you were perplexed at the sight of your bandaged knees.
Your eyes snapped back up to meet the beastโs, who was eating the last few pieces of meat off the bone in his hand, but still looking at you.ย
โDid youโฆโ Your voice broke due to your sore throat. You cleared it before you tried to speak again. โDid you do this?โ
You gestured to the bandages, and it nodded to your question.
The beast understood you. It understood you and was able to answer the question.
โโฆWhy?โ
It seemed to be thoughtful for a moment, suckling on the bone to leave it completely clean before it threw it on a pile of bones in a corner of the room. Ultimately it simply shrugged, rendering you speechless once again.
The beast stood up from the ground, and walked towards another corner of the room, where a pond was. It knelt on the edge of it, and dipped its hands into the water. After scooping some water into its palms, it brought them close to his face and drank from them.ย
Was itโฆ washing its hands? And its mouth?
You realised it was, in fact, washing its mouth when itโheโฆ?โfinally stood up and walked over to some trees, where he plucked some leaves to eat themโor, more accurately, to chew on them.
โWhatโฆ What are you?โ You couldnโt help the question from leaving your mouth. What you were seeing right now was so absurd you just needed to ask.
He shrugged once again, chewing leisurely as it finally started walking closer to you.ย
You honestly didnโt even try to move away, you were too in awe of his entire existence for your body to properly send you into fight or flight response.ย
He was soโฆ big. Even when he finally crouched in front of the pile of fabric youโd been laying on, he just looked huge.
โChangbinโ, he said all of a sudden.
Your jaw went slack for a moment. He could speak.
โChโChangbin?โ
He nodded. โThatโs whatโฆ my father calls meโ.
Changbin spoke slowly, like he wasnโt used to speaking at all. You supposed it made sense, considering the stories surrounding the beast inside the Labyrinth.
Butโฆ father, he said? โYouโฆ you have a father?โ
He nodded again, but didnโt say anything else. Changbin just looked at you, in complete silence.
Youโd admit it was a bitโฆ awkward.
โDo youโฆ Is this what you do with the people that are thrown into the Labyrinth?โ
Changbin shook his head, which further puzzled you.
โI usually kill them. Sometimes I eat them if thereโs nothing else to eatโฆ Other times, just use them as food for the plants and birds that live hereโ, he said simply, like it was nothing. You supposed to him it was nothing.
โWhy havenโt you killed me?โ You had to ask, because you just couldnโt comprehend how you could still be alive.
His eyes jumped from one of yours to the other repeatedly for a bit. Until he eventually shrugged. โDonโt want toโ.
You didnโt really feel like asking โWhy?โ again, so you just cleared your throat, and decided to introduce yourself instead.
Changbin remained quiet for a few moments, until he repeated your name a few times out loud, like he was trying to get used to the sound.ย
After about ten minutes of prying, Changbin explained to you that this was his den. It was at the very centre of the Labyrinth. He knew this whole place like the back of his hand, every twist and turn, every pond and every tree, he knew where absolutely everything was. Apparently, heโd lived here a long, long time.
You wanted to inquire more, but before you could, his ears perked up, and he looked towards the one and only exit of this area.
โSomeoneโs entered the Labyrinthโ, he mumbled, almost to himself. He stood up from the floor, and wiped his hands on his fur before he started walking. When he reached the entrance, he turned back to look at you. โStay here. Will be back in a couple of daysโ.
You didnโt really think you had any other choice.
Coexisting with Changbin wasโฆ weird.
It wasnโt uncomfortable by any means, but it was certainly weird.ย
He clearly didnโt understand human behaviour much. As in, heโd do things people typically didnโt do.
Heโd stare at you a lotโvery intensely, if you might addโhe spoke in short sentences, or was too forward with what he said. For the most part, though, you didnโt mind. Considering the type of men you were used to, Changbin was far from bad.
Was he a huge half-man, half-bull creature that ate humans sometimes?
Yes.
But even then, he was heaps better than other men youโd met.
He had offered his nest for you to sleep on. Heโd shared with you any fish he caught, and even brought you fruit sometimes. For the most part, you didnโt leave his den, and he simply let you stay.
Being honest, part of the reason why you didnโt leave was because you werenโt sure if you were allowed to. After all, heโd brought you in here himself.ย
Whenever someone entered the Labyrinth, heโd always ask you to stay while he left to look for them. Upon his return, heโd also share whichever goods heโd retrieved.
โYou want this?โ Changbin offered you a lump of fabric. It almost looked like a napkin in his hands, but when you took it and had a good look at it, you realised it was a chiton. And a fairly new one at that.
Your peplos was way too worn by now. You werenโt really sure how long youโd been inside the Labyrinth at this point, but you also figured it really didnโt matter. Youโd washed your clothes plenty of times during your time here, but the rips and tears were just too many already, so you accepted the fresh garment.
โThank youโ, you looked up at him, trying not to focus too much on the swell of his chest, or the trail of fur that started from his navel and continued downwards, turning into his bovine legs.
Changbin was, truly, a sight to behold. Roughly three metres of hunkโฆ The longer you spent around him, the longer you justโฆ wanted to look at him.ย
You supposed you werenโt any different than him in that regard. At least, he didnโt seem bothered by it when you stared at him.
Changbin nodded, and made his way to his makeshift, newer nest. You felt a bit bad that youโd taken his much bigger sleeping space, but when you tried to get him to use it again, he simply told you โItโs your nest nowโ, so you justโฆ kept using it to lay and sleep on.
โWashed it on my way hereโ, Changbin said once he was sitting on his nest, looking at you. Only then did you realise heโd not only brought the chiton with him, but also a bowl full of what looked like wildberries, and a guest.
The guest sat on the very top of his head, it was a bird. A fairly small one, but one that was clearly injured, if the way it weakly fluttered its wings was anything to go by.
You nodded, and repeated a soft โThank youโ. You honestly tried not to think too much about the person this piece of clothing belonged to just a few days ago. There was no point in thatโฆ It was yours now.ย
When you brought your hand to the fabric belt around your waist, you untied the knot that kept your peplos in place. The garment loosened, but before you could remove it, you looked back at Changbin.
He was justโฆ staring at you. Like he always did.
You swallowed, trying to ignore the heat you felt spreading on your cheeks. โCould you, uhmโฆโ
His ears perked up, listening intently to what you had to say.ย
โCould you maybe look away?โย
Changbin blinked slowly, and his tail started swishing calmly behind him. โWhy?โ
โBecause, yโknowโฆ Iโm going to undressโ, you replied simply, bringing the chiton closer to your chest. The heat on your face seemed to intensify.
โAnd?โย
You were slightly taken aback by that. But as you looked at him, you couldnโt see anything other than genuine curiosity in his eyes. โIโll undressโฆ That means Iโll be naked in front of youโ.
โOkayโ.
Now you started blinking slowly. Okay he said. Justโฆ Okay. Howโฆ odd. โChangbin, I donโt want you to, uhโฆ seeโ.
His eyebrows furrowed at that. โWhy?โ
โBecause itโs not appropriateโ.
โHow come?โ He placed the bowl on the ground and leaned back on his hands, spreading his legs in front of him. โIโm naked right nowโ.
Ahโฆ You supposed he was naked.
You tried really hard not to move your eyes away from his face, especially considering the position he was inโฆ You didnโt want your eyes to just wander to improper territories. After all, there seemed to be a lot to look atโฆ
As you pushed aside the chaotic thoughts inside your head, his comment made you realise that maybe it wasnโt inappropriate to be naked. At least not here, not with Changbin.
You werenโt on the surface anymore. You werenโt bound to human customs anymore, not since the moment youโd been sentenced, and the more you thought of that, the more you started to understand.ย
This was your safe place now. There was no judgement here, or, at least, you hadnโt felt any at all.
So you swallowed, suddenly feeling a bit nervous. With your eyes fixed on Changbinโs, you tried your best to ignore the warmth that took over your face as you undid your peplos.ย
The garment fell to the floor, and only then did his eyes wander. He looked at you, with his head tilted to the side. You couldโve sworn you saw his eyes twinkle under the light of the few flickering torches on the wall. โDonโt like to keep too many in hereโฆ Too brightโ, Changbin had told you a few days ago, when youโd asked why there werenโt as many torches in his den as in the corridor walls, and his answer had just made sense to you.
You could almost feel his eyes tracing every curve of your body, and you tried to not focus on how that made you feel. Instead, you just threw the chiton on and quickly fastened it with the belt around your waist.
Changbinโs eyes were back on yours as you finished fixing your clothes, before you started to plait your hair.
โAre you cold?โ He asked all of a sudden, just as you finished tying your hair.
Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. โNotโฆ not particularly?โย
โWhyโd you wear that, then?โ
โWear what? This?โ You gestured to the garment youโd just put on, and Changbin simply nodded to your question. You blinked blankly at him for a few moments before you answered him. โI donโtโฆ I shouldnโt be showing my body like that, yโknow? Itโs inappropriate. At least, on the surface it is. So we justโฆ wear clothesโ.
โThatโs why humans wear clothes?โ He sounded genuinely incredulous, and based on the way his eyes widened, you figured he was. โThought yโall were just cold all the timeโ.
You couldnโt help but snort at that. You laughed. You laughed like you hadnโt laughed in weeks, almost madly even.ย
This was all just so, so absurd. Youโd been sentenced to death, and somehow, youโd ended up here, with a creature like Changbin. A sentient creature that thought humans wore clothes just because โthey were cold all the timeโ.
โWhy shouldnโt you show your body?โ Changbin looked beyond confused, and somehow it made you laugh harder. โItโsโฆ well, there. Itโs you. Why hide it?โ
Your laugh died down, and you wiped the few stray tears that had fallen from your eyes. There was a small smile tugging at his lips, he didnโt seem fazed by your fit of laughter other than looking mildly confused now, so you just composed yourself and answered him as honestly as you could. โItโsโฆ a private thingโฆโ
โPrivate?โ Changbin asked, tilting his head cutely to the side. โSo no one has seen you naked?โ
You went quiet at that, and started fidgeting with the end of your belt. โSome people haveโฆ Yโknow, my mumโฆ Myโmy husbandโฆโ
The title left a bitter taste on your tongue, but you tried to ignore it. You didnโt like thinking about him. Whenever you did, you always tried to squash the mental image to the deepest recesses of your mind. It was justโฆ a bit too much still.
โYouโre married?โ Changbin asked, curiously, leaning forward and resting his arms on his knees.
โNot anymoreโ, you looked away from him, trying to ignore his peering eyes. You really didnโt feel like elaborating further, so you tried to divert the conversation by talking about literally anything else. The weather, the flowers that had started to bloom in his garden, the bird on top of his headโฆ
Changbin didnโt really pry further, he just followed your chaotic rambling as best as he could, until he eventually started crushing the berries in his bowl and telling you about the bird.
Apparently, heโd found it yesterday when he was on his way back here, and had been trying to nurse it back into health since. While he told you the story, he kept crushing the wildberries in his bowl, and heโd occasionally bring his free hand up to the little critter. It simply pecked his fingertip a few times before it resumed grooming his hair.ย
After a while, he stood up from his makeshift nest. With his bowl of crushed berries in hand, and the injured bird nestled on the crown of his head among his messy hair, Changbin made his way to a nearby wall. You just watched him curiously from where you were laying on his original nest.
Changbin dipped two of his fingers in the mixture of crushed berries, and then he justโฆ drew a line on the wall.
Then anotherโฆ
And anotherโฆย
He was silent for the most part, but low noises would occasionally resonate from his chest when the little bird on his head chirped. It was almost like they were having a conversation.
And you figured they were. Mostly because every couple of lines he made, heโd huff, and the bird would chirp in response. Changbin simply noddedโcarefully, as to not let the bird fall with the movementโand kept on drawing.
You werenโt sure how long you spent there, just looking at him doing his thing, but it was genuinely fascinating. The way his tail would sway every once in a while, the way the muscles on his back flexed and relaxed as he moved all sorts of ways as he painted on the wallsโฆ
Eventually, his lines took the very distinct shape of a bird, one that mirrored the one on his head almost perfectly.
โChangbin?โ You asked after a while. He hummed to let you know he was listening, so you continued. โDid you make all the other drawings throughout the Labyrinth?โ
It seemed like a silly question to ask, because, who else wouldโve done it, if not the beast doing one just now in front of you?
Changbin added the finishing touches to his drawing, then he turned to look at you. He offered the remnants of crushed berries in his bowl to the bird, just as he brought the two fingers heโd been using to his mouth so he could lick them clean.
You tried not to focus too much on the action by fixing your eyes on his.ย
He pulled his digits out of his mouth with a slight sucking sound, and nodded. โI didโ.
โMmmโฆ Theyโre prettyโ, you said simply.
Because, to you, they were.
You found them odd when you first saw them, since they didnโt seem to fit the aura surrounding this place, but they were certainly pretty. And knowing theyโd been made by him, just seemed to make them even prettier.
Changbin finally put the bowl down on one of the many tallโbut flatโrocks scattered throughout the room, and, for a moment, you couldโve sworn his cheeks had reddened. โThanksโฆโ
You just offered him a smile, even if he wasnโt looking at you.ย
A cold wind filtered through the hole in the ceiling, it had your teeth chattering and your whole body shivering. You tried to cover yourself further, but the way Changbin had built his nest made it so you really couldnโt pull fabric from it without messing it up, and there was no spare cloth close by that you could use as a blanket.
It made sense, you supposed. He didnโt seem like he needed anything to keep himself warm, and you also hadnโt needed it before during your stay here, so you hadnโt even tried to ask for one.
You heard faint shuffling, followed by quiet thump, thump, thumps, until you felt warmth close to you.
โTiny humanโ, Changbin mumbled, pulling your attention fully towards him.
You hummed to let him know you were listening, but you didnโt open your eyes, nor did you feel like wasting energy saying actual words. You needed to use every bit of it you could to try to keep yourself warm.
โYouโre whimpering. Why?โ
Had you been whimpering?
You hadnโt even realised you were. Maybe youโd fallen asleep without noticingโฆย
You took a deep breath, trying to steady your trembling form, but it only brought a rush of cold air inside your body. โMโcoldโฆโ
There was silence for a moment. With half lidded eyes, you couldโve sworn you were seeing your breath coming out of your mouth in little white clouds. It didnโt make you feel any better. If anything, it agitated you a bit more, but you couldnโt even express it fully.
Changbin was quiet for a long while, but you could still feel him close. You appreciated it. It felt like moral support, at least.ย
Eventually, you heardโand feltโhim shuffle closer to the nest. โCan Iโฆ Can I keep you warm?โ
You immediately nodded. You didnโt care what he did, or how he did it. You just needed to be warm, and if he could give you that youโd honestly take it.
There was more shuffling, and then there was a minute dip in the nest. You yelped when you felt Changbinโs arm wrap around your waist and pull you into him from behind.
His hold was strong, firm, but alsoโฆ gentle. He kept you close, with his chin resting on the top of your head and a hand pressed firmly against your stomach. He was so close, and so, so warm, you immediately felt yourself relaxing, moulding into his body, almost likeโฆ like youโd always been meant to.
Slowly, his warmth seeped into you, until you were no longer shivering. Tentatively, you placed a hand on top of the one he kept on your stomach. You couldโve sworn you felt him jump a bit behind you, but as soon as you started tracing his knuckles with your fingertips, he seemed to relax once again.
You werenโt really sure what compelled you to do it, you had justโฆ felt like doing it. You spent a while just like that, feeling each knuckle of his fingers, feeling the prominent veins on the back of his hand. They were so bigโฆ especially compared to your own.
Youโd never felt like a particularly small person, but next to him, you certainly looked tiny, you felt tiny. But only physically. Being honest, youโd never felt as equal to someone as you felt with Changbin.
โI think youโre pretty, tooโ, he mumbled all of a sudden, and for a moment, you felt your heart stop, only to resume its beating at record-breaking speeds. โLike my drawings, I meanโฆโ
You turned in his hold, and immediately buried your face in his neck. Not only seeking the heat of his skin, but also trying to hide the flustered reaction on your face. He just held you closer, further enveloping you in his warmth.ย
โThank youโฆโ You mumbled against the skin of his neck, and he simply offered you a tiny sound of content in response.
In the safety of Changbinโs arms, blanketed in his body heat, you finally fell asleep.ย
You didnโt mind staying at Changbinโs den, but you were starting to get a bitโฆ bored.ย
Mostly if he was gone. When he was there, you could at least strike conversation, or play some sort of game. Knucklebones was a favourite of yours, for example.
When he wasnโt here, all you did was try to keep yourself entertained with whatever items Changbin had lying around, or by tending to the garden inside the den.
At some point, youโd managed to use some of the numerous pieces of fabric heโd collected to make yourself a proper blanket. Although, to be fair, you hardly ever needed it.
It was a given at this point that heโd snuggle up next to you to keep you warm. Since that very first night, youโd only had to use your blanket when someone had entered the Labyrinth and he wasnโt here.
Youโd admit, sleeping with Changbin wasโฆ nice. Especially since temperatures seemed to be decreasing by the day.
He was all plush and warm and his heartbeat just helped you relax. Ever since you got marriedโsince you were forced to get marriedโฆโyou had never enjoyed sharing your sleeping space, but, with Changbin, it was different. You justโฆ felt safe. As odd as that might sound.
โItโs not fair! You got it so much easier to pick those up!โ Changbin huffed, clicking his tongue when you, once again, beat him at your game of knucklebones.
โFind bigger pieces, then!โ You chuckled, jiggling the small set of bones in your hand. โIโm sure there are plenty of huge rocks you can get in hereโ.
He just clicked his tongue again, finishing in a cute pout as he crossed his arms over his chest. All that did was bring your attention to the swell of his pecs and the size of his arms, which immediately made you swallow.ย
Dear Gods, was he bigโฆย
You scrambled to fix your eyes on his face. These were thoughts you didnโt feel like entertainingโฆ what would be the point of it if you did? What would you even do with someone like Changbin? It felt a bit tooโฆ complicated. But, there was a little voice in the deepest areas of your conscience begging you to entertain the thoughtโฆ telling you that itโd surely be worth it.
You decided to ignore it.
โHey, Changbinโ, you tried to get his attention back on you, disregarding the plethora of sinful scenarios that were playing in the back of your mind.ย
Changbinโs ears flickered before he was fixing his eyes on you again, so you took it as a sign to speak. โYou think I couldโฆ go out for a walk?โ
He uncrossed his arms so he could lean back on his hands, once again, making you absolutely struggle to keep your eyes on his face and not on whatever was going on between his legs. โYou want to?โ
You just nodded in response, nervously tapping on the floor one of the bones you held in your hand.
โThen you canโ, he replied simply.
โI can?โ You didnโt mean to sound incredulous, but you supposed his nonchalance did take you by surprise.
โโCourse. If you want to, you canโ.
โYou donโt mind?โ
Changbin blinked slowly at you for a moment, before his eyebrows furrowed. โWhy would I mind?โ
โDunnoโฆ I thought youโฆ thought you mightโ.
โWhy did you think that?โ
Huh, good questionโฆ Why would you think that?
You supposed there was a part of you that had just kind ofโฆ assumed heโd mind. But you realised then that heโd never really said anything about it.
Heโd only ever asked you to stay when someone else came into the Labyrinth, and you supposed it made sense he would if he cared for your safety. Which you were pretty sure he did, considering all heโd done for you so farโฆ So you just offered him a smile and a slight shake of your head.ย
โAh, itโs nothingโฆโ You stood up from the floor and wiped your hands on your chiton. โโSuppose Iโll be back in a bitโฆโ
Changbin just hummed to acknowledge you, but didnโt say anything else, so you made your way to the entrance of the room.
When you finally reached it, you stopped. As you looked at the corridor outside of the circle-shaped area that made Changbinโs den, you couldnโt help but feel your stomach sink. No matter where you looked, left or right, the way was seemingly endless. Every direction looked almost the sameโsave for the few paintings on the walls and the different textures on the floor.
If you left for a walk, would you be able to find your way back? You honestly werenโt too sure, and, trulyโฆ you wanted to come back. You were sure there was no better place to be inside the Labyrinth other than here, with Changbin.
So you turned around, finding the beast himself looking at you.ย
His tail swayed calmly behind him, his ears occasionally flickered, but, for the most part, he looked serene, sitting there on the floor where heโd been just before you stood up yourself.
โWould youโฆ uhmโฆโ You pinched a piece of your chiton between your fingers, and started fidgeting with it, looking in his overall direction but not really looking at him. โWould you like to come with me?โ
You finally looked at his face. There was a small smile on his lips, and it honestly made your heart flutter. โYโknow Iโll find you if you get lost, right?โ
No.
No, you didnโt know that.
You didnโt know heโd go out of his way to find you if you disappeared. You knew that he cared about what happened to you to some degree, but enough to look for you if you got lost? Even if it could potentially take days?
If you thought about it, maybe that, too, made sense. Maybe he enjoyed your presence just as much as you did his.
Licking your lips, you let go of that bit of fabric youโd been rolling between your fingers. โWould you come with me anyway?โ
With a huff, Changbin stood up from the ground. He wiped his hands on his thighs, just before he walked to stand next to you. That was a good enough answer for you.
So, you finally stepped out into the corridor, and Changbin followed soon after.
The farther you tried to look, the more anxiety seemed to pool in your stomach. If the Labyrinth had made you claustrophobic when you first stepped in it, right now, leaving Changbinโs den, you felt haunted with agoraphobia.ย
The corridors were endless, the ceiling felt like it was way too highโunlikely, since it was pretty much the same height as it was inside the denโฆโand the fact that you couldnโt see the first turn in either direction you looked had your head spinning. So you turned back to Changbin.
โIs there any place you like? If there is, Iโd like you to show meโ.
Changbin just nodded, and started walking. You followed him from closely behind, nervously looking over your shoulder sometimes, but, for the most part, you tried to focus on the drawings on the walls, or the flashes of nature around you.
It was quiet, save for the flicker of the eternal fire and the thumps produced with each step Changbin took. They werenโt as loud as theyโd been the first time you heard him, probably because he was walking very, very slowly.
Even if he was walking slowly, though, you were starting to get out of breath from trying to keep up with the steps his long legs could take. One of Chanbinโs steps couldโve very well been ten of yoursโฆ
You werenโt sure how many turns you took, you simply followed him wherever he would go, asking for a few pauses sometimes when you felt like you needed to catch your breath.
There were parts of the Labyrinth that were dimmer than others. As Changbin explained to you, it was either because someone had taken a torch off its support on the wall and never returned it, or he himself had moved the torches somewhere else.
When you asked him why heโd moved them, he just said heโd get bored, and just found some entertainment in moving things around. Fair enough, you guessedโฆ
Both of you finally came to a full stop in front of a tree. A big, very old-looking one. There was a patch of grass all around it, and it was almost tall enough to reach the ceiling. The hole above it surely provided enough light and water for the tree to thrive even down here.ย
โThis is a place I like. Birds come in here sometimes. They keep me companyโ, Changbin plopped down at the base of the tree and leaned on it. While he looked at you, he patted the grass in front of him, right between his legs.
Your body reacted before your mind could, and, almost instinctively, you found yourself sitting on the grass and snuggled against his chest. He just wrapped his arms around your frame and kept you close, like he often did.ย
Soon enough, birds started coming in from the hole high above your heads, and you simply closed your eyes and started to hum a melody to accompany their chirping. You could certainly understand why heโd like being in a place like this, it was peaceful.
โYouโฆโ Changbin mumbled after a while, while he softly traced shapes on your arm with his thumb. โYou used to pray, didnโt you?โ
Your eyebrows furrowed, just before you pulled yourself away from his embrace to look him in the eyes. There was a bird perched on one of his horns already, picking at his hair, but he seemed unbothered by it.
โHowโd youโฆ How do you know that?โ No one knew you prayed. In fact, you hadnโt prayed in a long, long time. It used to bring you comfort, maybe even hope, but that, too, had been crushed by the heavy weight of reality many moons ago.
Changbin looked up at the hole in the ceiling, which was covered by iron rods. His gaze was fixed on it for a while, and he remained quiet for a bit.
โI think I used to hear you prayโ, his eyes were on yours again, and you suddenly felt your cheeks heating up at the attention. โYou used to sing, too. Hum, like you did just nowโฆ The birds back then used to tell me you brought them foodโ.
The site you prayed at was incredibly far from where youโd been dropped into the Labyrinth. You knew this place was huge, but you honestly hadnโt realised just how much until this very moment.
โYou stopped coming, thoughโ, Changbin looked at you in a way that made you feel almost like he knewโฆ โWas it because of him?โ
Please! Donโt hurt me!
The memory was fresh, it wasnโt one you could just forget. Your husbandโฆ he wasnโt fond of the Gods, especially not the ones you prayed to. After all, you were praying in hopes theyโd justโฆ do something.
When law enforcement didnโt pay attention to you, you had turned to your faith for help.
But they, too, had failed you.
When your husband found out youโd been going to that specific place in the forest to pray, that you had your own humble shrine in there, he made absolutely sure you never returned. The place was now riddled with memories of nothing but pain, sorrowโฆ
You felt a knot swell in your throat, out of fury more than anything else. You refused to let tears fall, though. The damage was done already, and even if you felt infuriated by how unjust everything that happened back then had been, the nightmare was over, and you had no one to thank but yourself for it.
Looking at Changbin, you nodded, just to let him know that it had been, in fact, because of him that youโd stopped going to pray to the forest currently above your heads.
โEven back thenโฆ I felt like it was unfairโ, Changbinโs eyes jumped all over your face, while his thumb kept caressing the skin of your arm.
โIt wasโ, you replied simply, looking up at him from where you were sitting between his legs. โBut itโs no longer a problem. Itโs stopped nowโ.
The bird that had been picking at Changbinโs hair finally flew away when he nodded. You looked him in the eyes for a while longer, until you finally leaned into him once again, and rested your head on his chest, right over his heart.
Thumpโฆ Thumpโฆ Thumpโฆ Thumpโฆ Thumpโฆ
The gentle rhythm vibrated against your ear, and, right then and there, you knew that it had all truly stopped. You were safe. It was, definitely, no longer a problem. In a way, youโd made sure of thatโฆ
You both stayed under that tree for a long time that afternoon, until you asked Changbin to show you anywhere else he liked before you made it back to the den.
Without saying a word, he effortlessly picked you up from the ground, and took you in his arms, making you all flustered when he offered you a โTiny legs. Makes you slowโฆโ which you supposed you couldnโt argue with. To him, your legs were surely tiny, especially when compared to his own.
When you were back at Changbinโs den, you were tired, so you quickly washed up before you had dinner. Seared fishโcourtesy of the eternal fire from one of the torchesโwith an assortment of fruits that somehow worked together, finished off with the corresponding pile of laurel leaves Changbin liked to chew on oftenโa habit which you yourself had picked up overtime.
It wasnโt long until you found yourself in Changbinโs nest, surrounded by soft fabric and his warmth. Cuddling had become one of your favourite winding down activities, and you certainly liked to do it for as long as you could. There was something about the closeness to someone else that feltโฆ fulfilling. And youโd never truly felt this close to someone in your life.
Oftentimes, while cuddling, you also found yourself having the most profound conversations with Changbin. Either you or himโor bothโwould start bearing their hearts out for the other, and it wasโฆ nice.
Regardless of what you spoke about, it was nice.
โYouโฆโ Changbin mumbled, burying his fingers in your hair to gently caress your scalp. โWhyโd they drop you here?โ
You took a deep breath, mindlessly playing with the thick fur in the middle of his chest. โI took someoneโs lifeโฆโ
Changbin hummed, nuzzling your forehead with his nose. It was moist against your skin, but you didnโt mind.
โMy husbandโฆโ You started, stilling the movement of your fingers in his fur to instead lay your hand on his chest. โI was justโฆ I tried to get help. Every time he hurt me, I tried to get help. So, so many timesโฆ but no one listened. One night, he was trying to force himself on me and I justโฆ took one of those hideous stone busts he kept around the house and Iโฆ hit him in the headโ.
The memory wasnโt pleasant. You still remembered the first moment of shock, when you stared at his limp body on the floor. You remembered the blood, how it started to pool and stain that equally hideous rug heโd purchased for way too much money. You remembered the mess left behind when you tried to move your husbandโs body out of the house so you could hide it in the forestโฆ
But you were caught.
You were caught and no matter how much you explained what had happened, no one believed you.
โSo I was sentenced to dieโ, you looked away from his chest to look him in the eyes. They seemed to be sparkling under the moonlight shining on you both. His eyesโฆ They were gentle, and had the prettiest shade of brown youโd ever seen. โI should be dead by now. They were expecting you to kill meโ.
Changbinโs eyes flickered between yours. They danced around your face for a moment, until they settled on your mouth. โI couldnโt. Donโt want to, eitherโ.
โI knowโ, you mumbled simply. Bringing a hand to his face, you started tracing his features, his eyebrows, his nose, his cheeksโฆ Changbin just closed his eyes as soon as your fingertips were on his skin, and his ears flickered happily as you did. โYouโre way more than the beast people make you out to beโ.
โYou think so?โ He asked it in a way that made it seem like he genuinely cared about what you had to say, like your opinion was valuable to him.
You hummed in confirmation, nodding slowly, because you truly meant it. Changbin was a bit of a brute, he was very capable of harming you, but he was also capable of being so incredibly gentle. Like heโd been with the injured bird heโd brought to his den many months ago. Like heโd been with you when he tended to your wounds when he brought you in here, or when you were shivering from the coldโฆ
โChangbinโฆโ You broke the silence after a while, placing your hand on his cheek and stroking the skin with your thumb. โDo you know what a kiss is?โ
Changbin opened his eyes then, offering you an almost shy nod of his head.
โHave you kissed anyone before?โ You placed your free hand on his chest, right over his heart. It was beating so incredibly fastโฆ It was almost like you could feel every thump penetrate into your palm and rattle your insides.
Changbin shook his head, fixing his eyes on your mouth once again.
You licked your lips, almost absentmindedly. He was so close, and so warm, and you justโฆ wanted him. โWould you like to?โ
Changbin nodded again, so you just went for it.
Slowly, you leaned in, brushing your lips softly against his for a moment before you connected them fully. It was almost shy, just a tender peck on his lips, but it was a kiss nonetheless.
You pulled back a bit to look him in the eyes. Sparklyโฆ Even more so than before. In an instant, his hand was at your waist, pulling you closer against his body as he leaned in to kiss you again.
It was slow, gentle, and it made your heart flutter. His lips slotted so perfectly with yours, you couldnโt even believe youโd ever kissed anyone else. So many kisses wasted, when you couldโve been giving them to him insteadโฆ
Tentatively, your tongue made contact with his bottom lip. He seemed to get the hint, since he parted his lips to let you in. With your arms around his neck, you kissed him deeply. He kissed you deeply.
At this very moment, there was nothing else in the world that wasnโt you and Changbin. The only thing that mattered was him and you in his nest, slowly getting your mouths acquainted with one another.
You didnโt know how long you spent right there, but you also didnโt care. By the time the moon had moved around in the sky and left you in partial darkness in Changbinโs den, you could already feel him poking your stomach.
The feeling of him, hard against your belly, set your insides alight.
Youโd known for a long time, youโd been trying to ignore it, but you couldnโt do that any longerโฆ You really wanted Changbin. Carnally. Like youโd want any other person.
His handsโฆ His big, warm hands roamed your back, your rear, your thighsโฆ It was like he wanted to make sure no part of your body was left untouchedโat least the ones he currently had access to over your clothes. The kiss was turning sloppier and sloppier by the second, and, in no time, low bellows were resonating from Changbinโs chest.
It was just when you carded your fingers through his hair that he stiffened, fixing his hands on your waist and gripping you tightly to stop the grind of your hips you hadnโt even realised youโd started doing.ย
When had he laid on his back? When had you straddled his waist? You were so lost in your kiss you hadnโt even noticedโฆ
He pulled back fully, offering you an apologetic look while he brought his thumb to your bottom lip and swiped it over the swollen skin.
โSomeoneโs entered the Labyrinthโฆโ Changbin mumbled, so quietly you wouldnโt have heard him if you hadnโt been so close.
You pouted sadly, but nodded in understanding. With one final peck on his lips, you finally rolled off of him and onto the plush nest, where you curled into yourself as you watched him get up.
Changbin bent down to kiss your forehead. He brushed his textured nose tenderly against yours for a moment, just before he threw your makeshift blanket over your body.
โIโll be back in a few days. Hm?โ
You simply nodded again, feeling your eyes growing heavier as sleep started to cling to your muscles.ย
After one final smile, Changbin finally turned around and made his way out of his den.ย
You couldnโt help but sneak a glance at him before he left, and, Godsโฆ You really, really wanted himโฆ
As you let your hand find its way between your legs, and even in your sleepy state, you couldnโt help but fully come face to face with the realisation that you wanted him, more than youโd ever wanted anyone else before.
With the tingles of pleasure you were coaxing from your centre that spread to all of your limbs, your mind wandered, trying to figure out just how you couldโฆ take him.
You had to find a way. You were determined to find a way.
You didnโt know how youโd do it, but you were certain you would.
Eventually, you would.
Changbin was taking longer than usual to come back from his last outing, and it was starting to worry you.
The first couple of days went by as usual. You washed any garments of clothing youโd collected over time, you tended to any of Changbinโs friendsโmeaning, the birds that would come from the surfaceโwhenever they dropped by, or you simply spent it brainstorming all the possible ways in which you could pleasure such a monstrous cock.
Not only that, but how you could get pleasure from that monstrous cock. Because you were set on making the most of it. Gone were the days in which you shied away from your desires. You were a living being with needs, and if you couldnโt fulfil those needs with a literal giant half-bull, half-man creature, you were sure you wouldnโt have been able to do it with anyone else.
Besides, though, you didnโt want anyone else.ย
And it wasnโt the fact that you were living in the Labyrinth and couldnโt even meet other human beings. What you felt for Changbin was something youโd never felt before. You genuinely cared about himโฆ You cared a lot.
Which was why, by the fifth day he hadnโt returned to the den, you had bitten all ten of your nails almost to the flesh.
Where was he?
You were convinced it was pretty much impossible for him to get lost inside the Labyrinth, but what if he had?
Or worseโฆ
What if whoever had been dropped in here hurt him?
What if he was hurt and you couldnโt help him?
Oh, Godsโฆย
What if he was dead?
Your chest felt heavy, you could barely breatheโฆ What would you do without Changbin? You could definitely survive with all the resources you had here, but the question wasโฆ did you want to?
What was the point of staying alive inside the Labyrinth without him?
You wanted to cry just thinking about it.ย
Tears were pricking your eyes, and it felt like your throat was closing up.ย
At least, untilโฆ
Thumpโฆ
Thumpโฆ
Thumpโฆ
Thumpโฆ
You pretty much jumped from where youโd been sitting on the floor, sprinted out of the den and into the corridor. At this point, you could recognise Changbinโs heavy steps like your own heartbeat.
Looking left and right, you were unsure where exactly he was coming from, since the echo seemed to be coming from every direction. After a few moments of panic, you finally saw him to your left, so you ran.
You barely heard him saying your name when you were close, you were too focused on getting to him. When you buried your face in his stomach, he immediately started to caress your hair.
โShh, heyโฆโ He mumbled, dropping whatever he had in his free hand so he could press his palm on your back. โDonโt cryโ.
You were sobbing, and you hadnโt even realised it until he had pointed it out.
When you pulled away, you could barely see him through your blurry vision. With one of his knuckles, he gently wiped the tears running down your cheeks.
It was only then that you noticed them, the cuts and gashes that littered his whole torso. The sight had adrenaline rushing into your body immediately.
โOh, my dear Gods! What happened to you?!โ
โKid was resilientโ, was all he said when he pulled himself away from your hold. He bent downโwith seemingly great effortโand took the bag that heโd dropped on the ground. โCโmon, need toโฆ to lay down. Will tell you everything afterโฆโ
You took the bag from him immediately, and wrapped your free hand around one of his fingers to gently tug him forwardโas if that would do anythingโฆ
It took several minutes for both of you to reach the den once again. As soon as you were inside, Changbin pretty much collapsed on the ground, and started instructing you to bring him all sorts of herbs from his garden along with some fresh water.
You got to work, following Changbinโs directions to clean him up, apply the freshly chewed mix of leaves on the open wounds, and dress them with whichever extra pieces of fabric you could find laying around. As you did this, he told you about the young man that had entered the Labyrinth.ย
Apparently, he was skilled enough to not only hurt Changbin, but also to essentially defeat him.
โAll these years, no one has ever come this close to killing meโฆโ
The concept of Changbin being killed made your heart ache, but you pushed the feeling away as you tried to focus on the task at hand, as well as to continue listening to him.ย
The young man had spared him. Heโd told Changbin that heโd come into the Labyrinth out of his own free will because he was looking for something.ย
โTold him Iโd help him find it if he let me liveโ, Changbin said once youโd finished dressing his wounds and heโd finally laid down on your nest.
โAnd? Did you?โ You asked as you gathered two heavy jugs of fresh water to bring them to him. After all, two jugs were pretty much two glasses of water for himโฆ
Changbin drank both jugs one after the other, each one in one gulp, offering a quiet โThank youโ before he answered your question. โYeah. Pointed him in the right direction, told him how to find the way to the spot he was looking forโฆโ
You laid down next to him, and snuggled yourself as close as you could. Changbin pulled you even closer, and only then did he seem to fully relax, practically melting into your nest.
โHe wanted me to go with himโฆ But I was too hurtโ, he mumbled against your hair, sounding just so incredibly tired. โAlsoโฆ I had to come home. Needed to be here with youโฆโ
You felt tears well in your eyes again. Holding him tightโbeing careful to not apply too much pressure on his woundsโyou craned your neck, just so you could press a lingering kiss on his cheek.
Changbin exhaled a shaky breath with the motion, and, after pressing a few more pecks on his skin, you finally laid your head on his chest.
โWelcome homeโฆโ The words came out of your mouth as barely a whisper, mostly because you didnโt trust your voice right now. You were already feeling your whole body trembling as the tears started to fall again.
Changbin held you tight, pressing a final kiss on the crown of your head.
โMissed you, tiny humanโฆโ was the last thing to come out of his mouth before he passed out.
Caring for an injured giant was easier than you had expected it to be. Although, youโd admit that helping him wash up was a bit hard.
Not because you had to provide any sort of support when he got into a pond or anything like that, but mostly because Changbin insisted that he needed you in there with him.
He got extra whiny about it, but you didnโt let him coax you into it. Not because you didnโt want to, but because, if you did get naked with him in the water, you knew youโd get distracted and his wounds could suffer the consequences.
After a few days, he seemed to have regained most of his strength, and the cuts scattered over his body were healing nicely. Even then, he kept insisting he needed you to help him.
โIf you want to see me naked, just say soโ, you couldnโt hold that back any longer. The words just flew past your lips, and you knew theyโd had the desired effect as soon as you saw the pink tint on his cheeks.
โI donโtโI mean, I do, but itโs notโโ He was tumbling over his words, and it was absolutely adorable.ย
You stood up from where youโd been sitting cross-legged by the edge of the pond, and started toying with the belt of your chiton. He went quiet immediately, and his eyes zeroed in on the way you played with the fabric between your fingertips.
โDo you want to see me naked, Changbin?โ
He blinked slowly for a moment, and his ears flickered cutely. โMaybeโฆโ
โMaybe?โ You untied the knot, and the garment immediately loosened.
You saw him swallow. His gaze remained fixed on your belt, like he was trying to somehow make it disappear completely.ย
โChangbin?โ You called him again, and his eyes snapped back up to meet yours, giving you his undivided attention. โDo you want to?โ
Changbin stared at you for a moment before he nodded. That tiny movement, coupled with the light blush on his cheeks made you feelโฆ empowered. Which was something you had never really felt before in this context.
Youโd heard other people tell you about it, youโd read about it in the romance novels you used to read, but you had never truly experienced it. That feeling, coupled with how pliant a literal giant like Changbin got when you so much hinted at being naked, filled you with confidence.
So you removed your clothes, and slowly, you went into the pond.
Changbin was sitting on the ground, which made it so you were almost at eye level with him. You could practically feel his eyes all over your body, leaving an almost searing sensation on your skin.ย
When you finally stood in front of him, his hands found your waist. Changbin pulled you closer, so your bodies could be flush to each other. With your arms around his neck, you leaned in for a kiss.
He held you tightly, but gently. You knew he was well aware of his strength, and you knew he liked to be careful so as to not hurt you, which you certainly appreciated.
When you pulled back from the kiss, Changbin brushed your nose against yours, making you giggle. As usual, it was moist, but you didnโt mind.
โYouโre prettyโ, he whispered the words against your shoulder, where he was pressing lingering kisses on your skinโbeing extra careful not to poke you with his horns.
โAnd youโre very handsomeโ, you replied simply, because it was the truth. Months ago, you hadnโt even known someone like him could exist, and here you were now, absolutely smitten by what most would consider an oddity.
โYou think so?โ He mumbled absentmindedly, dragging his hands all over your back. His large handsโฆ
โMmโฆ I do think soโ.
He pulled away so he could look at you. A smile had spread across his face, making his eyes turn into little crescents. It always made your heart flutter whenever he smiled, and it was certainly a contagious gesture.
Changbin kissed your cheek once, twice, thrice more, before he was speaking again.ย
โYโknowโฆ I havenโtโฆ Iโve neverโฆโ He sighed, frowning before he shook his head and started all over again. โWant to make you feel good, but I donโt know howโ.
Your eyes widened a bit. Not because you didnโt know that he wouldnโt know how to make you feel good, but because he seemed to genuinely care about it.
โI can show youโ, you caressed his shoulders briefly before you cupped his cheeks. โThen you can show me how to make you feel good, hm?โ
Changbin nodded, rather enthusiastically, and it made you smile.
โThere areโฆ many places you can touch to make me feel goodโ, you dragged your hands down his arms, until you reached his hands and pulled them away from your back. โFor example, hereโฆโ
You brought his hands to your chest, and he reflexively squeezed the flesh. โThat feels nice, butโฆ touch hereโ.
Taking a hold of one of his fingers, you guided it to your nipple. The rough pad of his fingertip dragging over the sensitive skin immediately had a shiver running up and down your spine.ย
He seemed to catch on very quickly, because the moment you let go of his hands, he immediately started to stimulate your chest. Between his motions and the cool water around you, your nipples stiffened further, and the first whimper came out of your mouth.
Changbin looked at you for a moment, like he was unsure if he had done something wrong, so you immediately reassured him.
โThatโs goodโฆ Feels goodโ.
โFeels good?โ He asked, adding a bit more pressure.
You nodded in confirmation, and then took a hold of his wrists. โPinch them harder between your fingersโ.
โDonโt wanna hurt you, thoughโ, he sounded genuinely worried about it, which wouldโve made you heart melt in other circumstances, but in these circumstances, you needed him to give you all he hadโor, at least, all you could stand.
โDo it gradually, Iโll let you know โtil when. Trust me?โ
Changbin nodded, and immediately obliged. As soon as he reached the pressure that was just perfect, you let him knowโin quite possibly the most desperate tone youโd ever mustered.
Your lips were on his thereafter. He tugged and pulled and stimulated your nipples in ways that had you moaning into his mouth, that seemed to be coaxing inhuman noises from deep within him.
Your centre was throbbing, desperate for some attention, so you pulled away from the kiss. You were met with Changbinโs blown pupils and flushed cheeks, a sight so incredibly delectable you started to seriously entertain the impossible. Would he fitโฆ?
โHere, tooโ, you took a hold of one of his hands and brought it between your thighs, giving him enough space to manoeuvre. โYou feel that bump?โ
When the pad of his finger made contact with your clit you almost jolted in place, but you tried to stay focused as best as you could.ย
โRub in circles. Gentlyโ.
He complied, following the same motions as before, increasing the speed and pressure until you told him exactly how you liked it to be.ย
It all became a blur of moans and pants and bellowsโฆ All you could feel was the pleasure coursing through your body and Changbinโs warmth all around you. His teeth, his tongue, his lips, his fingersโฆ He was working you up diligently, bringing you closer to the edge.
โSo goodโฆโ You whimpered against his lips, just before your tongues were intertwined again.
Changbin nodded, almost mindlessly.ย
When youโd finally reached your climax, you did so with his name on your tongue. Repeating it over and over again like it was the only word you knew in this world.
Youโd found pleasure on your own many, many times, but itโd never felt like this. You werenโt sure if it was the weight of your feelings for him, or if itโd been the thrill of having this experience with Changbin for the first time, but the way that orgasm seemed to be consuming every single one of your senses was absolutely mind-blowing.
He didnโt stop working you up until you asked him to. As soon as he did, you wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned your weight on him for support. Changbin held you tightly, lovingly caressing your back and pressing kisses on your shoulder as you caught your breath.
โPrettiest sounds Iโve ever heardโฆโ He mumbled against your skin, and it made you laugh.
You felt light, like tonnes had just been lifted off of your shoulders. When you pulled away, you cupped his cheeks, and started peppering kisses all over his face, which made him giggle. So adorably you felt your heart swell in your chest.
โNowโฆโ With one final kiss on his lips, you placed your hands on his chest, squishing the soft muscle. โYou show meโ.
A smirk made its way onto his lips, and after taking one of your hands, he moved it away from his chest to let it sink further underwater, until it met the warm, smooth skin of his length. He left your other hand on his chest, but instead of just letting it rest there, he guided your fingers to one of his nipples so you could gently rub your fingertip against it and play with the jewellery.
โIโll show youโ, he emphasised his words by using his hand to coax your hold around his cock to tighten. Your fingers didnโt even meet as you held him, and the thought, along with the feel, made you feel dizzy with arousal. โWill show you anything. Everythingโฆโ
โYou think this couldโฆ fit you?โ Changbin had shyly asked you a couple of weeks ago, when he offered you one of the silver hoops he usually wore on one of his horns. Where he got the idea to do that was beyond you, but it honestly didnโt matter, it made you giddy all the same.
It did fitโas an armlet, at least. It was purely material and maybe even a bit vain, but having this item on you at all times simply made you feel tingly. It made your heart swell in your chest and it had butterflies fluttering in your belly.
It felt significant, in a way. Kind of likeโฆ like your own version of a wedding band.
In the past, you had never been excited about being a bride, or about being someoneโs wife. But you realised things could change.ย
Changbin had certainly changed you. You wouldโve never imagined that your death sentence would be the thing to actually help you feel alive, and yet, that was exactly what had happened to you.ย
Did you sometimes have bouts of fury and rage because of how unfair everything that youโd gone through had been?
Yes.
Did you want all those officials to die a very painful death for judging you the way they did?
Also yes.
But at least, here, you found your place. You found love.
Because you loved Changbin. Horns and tail and hooves and all. Even with his annoyingly big cock that you knew youโd never be able to fit inside you without tearing you in half, even then, you loved him. Truly.ย
It took only a visit from that young man he had encountered months ago for you to fully realise it.
Heโd appeared out of nowhere, on a random day. Changbin had put himself between you and the young man, but the boy wasnโt a real threat, heโd come just to ask for help to find something else within the Labyrinth.
It was over supper that heโd talked to you, right there in front of Changbin.ย
โDonโt you want to go back to the surface? I know a way outโฆโ
You could still remember how Changbinโs tail started to thrash anxiously behind him, but he didnโt say anything. Heโd just fixed his eyes on the floor, slowly chewing his food. He didnโt interrupt or even attempt to divert the conversation. Back then, at least to you, it felt like he was getting ready to accept whichever decision you took.
โWhy would I go back? This is my home. Thereโs nothing up there for meโ.
And when youโd said it, you truly meant it.
This was your homeโฆ but it wasnโt the Labyrinth.
It was all Changbin.
Youโd wandered the Labyrinth together for a few days after that, helping that young man look for the mysterious artefact he needed. Itโd been an adventure for sureโฆ
When you were back in your cosy den after that little adventure, Changbin had given you the thick hoop, your armlet. Youโd gotten so used to wearing it, you sometimes forgot you had it on.
At least, until you caught a glimpse of it in your peripheral vision, like you did just now. Somehow, the reminder of its existence further fed the fire that was burning bright in the pit of your stomach.ย
The feel of Changbinโs hands on your hips, gripping you tightlyโas tight as he knew your body could handleโmade you moan. The feel of him, hard and warm against your folds had your mind all fogged up and hazy, especially when he was under you like this, guiding the movement of your hips to increase the pressure of your centre grinding against his bare length, trapping it between your core and his abdomen.
โMmmโฆ fuckโฆโ He whined under his breath, staring at the place your bodies connected, at the way your slick cunt dragged against his cock.
You nodded in agreement, rather eagerly, because you couldnโt bring yourself to say anything. Not when the way you were essentially humping him felt this incredibly good.
With your hands on his chest, both for support and so you could play with his nipples in just the way he loved so much, you chased that sweet, sweet relief thatโd been steadily growing closer to you since you sat on him however long ago. The pressure on your clit was just absolutely perfect like this, especially when he was pushing you down and assisting your own movement.
โChangbin, darling, Iโmโฆ fuck, want toโฆโ You could barely speak, but you knew he understood you perfectly, because he had you moving faster, he pushed you down harder, making your eyes roll to the back of your head.
Before you knew it, you were trembling with your release. The only thing keeping you from collapsing was Changbinโs tight hold, but you still tried your best to keep moving, to keep providing him with as much pleasure as you could.
With a broken plea of your name, the first of many shots of thick cum spouted from the tip of his cock. The results of his orgasmโs were, of course, proportional to his size. He always seemed to produce bucket-loads of cum whenever he came, drenching his whole torso, and you in the process.
Changbin looked so, so pretty like this. Flushed, whining, bellowing, desperately rutting into you to make the most out of his release. You didnโt care that you were close to the point of oversensitivity, you just wanted to continue seeing him like this for as long as it lasted.
When the final spurt of cum landed on his abdomen, the tight grip he had on your hips loosened. The lack of his support made it so that you simply collapsed on top of him, gasping for air.ย
Oh, how fulfilling it was to hear his increased heartbeat against your ear, to feel his warm cum sticking to youโฆ
You both laid there for a moment, just enjoying the feel of one another and catching your breaths.ย
Changbin had to act a bit quickly after coming, though. Otherwise his cock would retreat into its sheath covered in his drying cum, which could not only become a gross mess, but also cause him real, painful problems the next time he got hard.
So as soon as he regained his strength, he was moving, carrying you in his arms and getting you both inside the nearest pond to get cleaned up.ย
You always helped him, of course. Just like he helped you.
Getting to bathe each other felt intimate, like a bonding experience, so you enjoyed it.ย
You barely spoke to each other during these moments. You just took the time to further enjoy the otherโs body in a more profound way.ย
It wasnโt until you were out of that pond, dry, in a fresh set of clothes, and huddled together in your cosy nest that he was finally speaking again.
โI really like it when we do it like thatโฆโ He mumbled against your hair, softly dragging his fingertips on your back.
You chuckled softly, pressing a soft peck on his collarbone. โIs it better than when you fuck my thighs?โ
Changbin inhaled sharply, placing his free hand on your bum. โItโs different. Itโs easier to come together this wayโ.ย
You hummed, smiling in amusement at the comment.ย
There was silence for a while, but you knew he was awake. If he hadnโt been, the soft caresses on your back wouldโve stopped already.
The armlet shone in your peripheral vision, and you were reminded once again that this was your home. That you belonged here.
โChangbin?โ
He hummed to let you know he was listening, not stopping the movement of his hands.
โWhy didnโt you kill me when you found me wandering the Labyrinth?โ
Changbin was quiet for a while, until he nuzzled your hair before he placed a kiss on the top of your head.ย
โI recognised your voiceโ, he replied simply. โYou fed my friends. You didnโt have to, but you did it anyway. They always appreciated it, and I couldnโt help but appreciate it, tooโ.
You pulled yourself away from his hold a bit, enough to look him in the eyes. โCan you imagine if Iโd never spoken in the forest? Or if I never fed the birds? You wouldโve eaten meโ.
He frowned. โDonโt wanna think about that. Besides, you did do it. Why think about the past like that?โ
You smiled at him, just before you pressed a quick peck on his lips.
As you buried your face further in the crook of his neck, and started to feel the pull of sleep on your body, you figured Changbin was right.
There was no point in thinking about the past. No point in dwelling on the what-ifs. The only thing that mattered was the present, and the future you hoped to have with him here, in your home.
Authorโs Note x2: i came into this expecting this story to be nothing but filth and a horny mess, not... whatever this ended up being. it definitely didnโt go the way i thought it was going to go when i had originally read that ask, but, yโknowโฆ the little lizard in my brain just does whatever it wants. iโm happy with it, and, if you made it this far, i hope you enjoyed it, too.ย
especial thanks to @notastraykid and @channieskies for reading this before anyone else and for giving me their valuable opinions and suggestions.
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five times jisung had soft heart eyes for you <3
pairing: jisung and gn!reader; genre: fluff, established relationship; warnings: none; word count:ย 0.9k words
taglist: @awooghanโ @xiaoderrrrโ @cosmic-railwayxoโ โ(join the tag list here! :D)
ยฉ linonyang - all rights reserved. please do not copy, translate, modify, repost, or claim as yours.
check the rest of the series: chan | minho | changbin | hyunjin | jisung | felix | seungmin | jeongin
when you gently brushed the hair out of his face and played with his hair when he wasnโt feeling the best. he was lying down on your lap and was attempting to take a nap, but he felt your soft hands on his face. he felt too aware of your skin. it was a weird feeling at first until he noticed you were brushing the hair on his scalp at a consistently soft and calming pace the whole time. before he closed his eyes once again, he glanced at your delicate face, watching the tv series you were very interested in, and felt a big rush of this intense feeling in his chest. he somehow felt way better, and it was all because of you and your endearing unconscious movements. you effortlessly made him look at you for several minutes, eyes filled with appreciation and emotion, until your soothing play with his hair lulled him to sleep.
when you held onto his hand tightly when you went on your first date as a couple. there wasnโt anything special on your first date. it was very casual, and nothing else. but his senses overwhelmed him when he felt your hand holding onto his tightly. it wasnโt a tight squeeze; you were really holding onto him tightly on your whole walk. when he noticed you walking slightly faster than him, already a little ahead of him but still holding onto him, he wasnโt able to help but feel his heart warmer than before. you never let go of him, and that made him look at your figure and your hands intertwined so many times back and forth. before you even let go of his hands at the end of the date, he held onto your hands tightly, absentmindedly smiling and looking at your hands. he just wanted to hold you forever, and he wanted to do everything to see his hand on yours.
when you did what you love. when you were working on something you were passionate about, he lovingly looked at you and already felt content with how happy and beautiful you were when you were doing something fulfilling for your heart. he grew a bigger smile and stared at you longer when you unconsciously smiled while you work on whatever you were doing. he wanted to pat your head because you worked so hard, but he stayed at the corner of the room, and looked at how devoted you were to your work. he didnโt plan to sit right next to you. you mightโve gotten distracted by his face looking at you the whole time. he let you do your thing, and he did his own thing (looked at you as if youโll possibly disappear in front of him any time).ย he finally understood why you love watching him work on music because of what was in front of him.
when you held onto his arms tightly when you were trying to sleep through the storm. it was hard for you to sleep. the rain itself was harsh; the thunderstorms scared you every few minutes, and it was too dark outside. you badly wanted to sleep, but you kinda gave up at some point. so what you did to pass the time was staring at the dark and snug to jisung. there was a point when you were grabbing his arm and wrapping your own arms around it. you treated it like a pillow. you thought he was asleep and guess what? he wasnโt, it was not that obvious because of the dark. when the sky calmed down two hours after and finally put the land to rest, jisung saw you, finally asleep, with your arms still wrapped around his. you looked so peaceful. he wanted to look at your resting state for eternity. there was a part in him that asked the world to slow down just for you so you can have all the time to unwind more. he looked at you and let his mind run free on how you needed an everyday rest as good as this so badly (and how adorable you looked, he might need to stand in as your bolster every day from then on).
when you peppered him with so many kisses last time. you confessed that you love him so much for the first time in a while, and it made him melt. you made him melt. he never forgot how much love he receives from you. he assumed that it was that time in the year when you randomly feel so overwhelmed and filled with love that you had to release all of it to him. he understood, you really do that once in a while. but even if you kissed his face so many times before, it felt so new every time. while you were showering him with your soft kisses, he was looking at you and your every move and mentally guessed which part of his face will be touched by your lips next. thatโs why he peppered you with so many kisses in return, too, after he felt the sameโthat sudden rush in his heart on how much he loves you and how he would do everything to give you the world. he started and ended the fun with those loving eyes of his. the whole time, you felt his eyes looking back at you with so much comfort. there was something with the several times he stared at you in between the kisses he gave you. he loves you so much that he will never get tired of looking at you and kissing you.
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Anti-Romantic | CHAPTER TWO | 18+
ยซGENERAL M.LISTยปย ยทย ยซNAVIGATIONยปย ยทย ยซTALK TO MEยป ยท ยซTAGLISTยป
THE MATCHMAKER MEETS HIS MATCH
โRuin me, please.โ
ยซPREVIOUS CHAPTERยป ยทย ยซSERIES MASTERLISTยป
Pairing: Hyunjin x Fem!Reader
Genre: Non idol au, fluff, smut, romcom, drama, opposites attract
Chapter Warnings: explicit sexual content, mentions of emotionally abusive ex, mutual fantasizing, brief mentions of virginity loss, heavy drinking, Hyunjin is delulu, heavy dom/sub dynamics: dom!reader, sub!Han Jisung (yes, there's Jisung smut in a Hyunjin story SUE ME), degradation, creampie, oral sex (f receiving), rough sex, drunk sex (both are consenting parties), semi-public sex (?)
Word Count: 15.1k
P.S. โก If you like my work, please consider giving me feedback in the form of reblogs, comments, and asks! โก
โAnd now, hereโs what we really want to ask you, Dr. Hwang: are you single?โย
The interviewer swivels her head to look at Hyunjin, her Botox-enhanced mouth spreading into a wide, magenta-lipsticked smile. Hyunjin barely registers her question, distracted by her disturbing resemblance to a vulture, with her beady eyes, hooked nose, and razor-sharp nails clutching a microphone like talons grasping prey. Her garish pea-green pantsuit and cat-eye glasses, combined with a frizzy blonde perm, remind him of that creepy reporter from Harry Potter, absolutely not helping his currently depleted Zen levels.ย
He can already feel a sweat breaking out on his neck, permeating his satin button-down and threatening to ruin the outfit he had chosen this morning. Usually, picking out what to wear is one of Hyunjinโs favorite parts of the entire day; breathing in the Coco Noir scent of his walk-in closet is like Hyunjinโs own expensive version of aromatherapy. Today, however, it felt like a chore; It took him forever to find the perfect accessories to tie everything together, before he finally settled on his new gold Cartier earrings and the matching Juste un Clou bracelet. Hyunjin knows he looks amazing in his tastefully vintage yet sleek ensemble. He looks every bit the title of a sexy savant, one that he so rightfully carries. He looks ready to slay an interview on Californiaโs most popular talk-show, The L.A. View. But for the first time ever, he doesnโt feel it.ย
It could have been the coffee that he had hand-pressed for himself this morning, his usual brew of arabica beans imported from the misty slopes of Guatemala. But then again, the coffee brought a much-needed buzz that Hyunjin needed to drag himself out of bed, no matter how temporary. More likely, it was the margarita that heโd downed in the car that was sent to pick him up and bring him to the studio to tape the interview. Tequila always makes Hyunjinโs stomach turn. Or maybeโ
โDr. Hwang?โ
Hyunjin snaps out of his reverie, plastering a charmingly mysterious smile onto his face. One, two, threeโฆ work that charm. โWouldnโt you like to know, Sharon?โ
The audience oohs beneath the dimmed stage lighting, and Sharon turns red, a shade visible even under the lurid bronzer thatโs caked onto her face. Hyunjin would really love to book Sharon an appointment at HWASA Skincare and Cosmetics, his go-to beauty consultant whenever heโs visiting Seoul. The founder and CEO, his old friend Hye-Jin, would personally host her just so that Hyunjin could be relieved of the horrible bout of trypophobia heโs getting right now, staring into Sharonโs cavernous pores.
โOh, stop it!โ Sharon giggles, clapping her hands together. โThere definitely must be a lucky lady in your life. Youโre the Love Doctor. And not to mention, but very handsome.โ
Sharon winks over exaggeratedly at the camera, and Hyunjin has to hold himself back from cringing away when she palms his shoulder, eyeing him hungrily. He canโt blame her, of course; the sleeves of his shirt squeeze his arms in such a way that his toned biceps are shown offโ thank you very much, Better Body Pilates. But he needs his personal space. Out of everything, he hates when people treat him like some sort of an animal at the zoo, petting and prodding at him. He sees himself as more of the Mona Lisa, a masterpiece to be marveled at, not touched. His Zen is important, after all.ย
Still, Hyunjin just shoots her a disarming smirk, crossing one Valentino-clad leg over the other. โThe only lady in my life is Princess Diana. But Iโd say Iโm the lucky one.โ
Both Sharon and the audience members aww, utterly captivated by Hyunjin when he pulls out a small Polaroid of his puppy from his breast pocket, holding it out so that the cameras can zoom in on it. As expected, his answer seems to have satisfied Sharonโs invasiveness, but beneath his beaming expression hides the building tension in his chest.ย
What Hyunjin said is the partial truth; he may not currently have a significant other, but did he have someone in mind, when romance is in question? Yes. Is said person completely off-limits? Also yes. And would his reputation be completely tarnished if that very classified information got out? Yes, yes, and yes.
โThank you so much for sitting down with us, Dr. Hwang,โ Sharon says, thrusting out her hand for Hyunjin to shake it. Ever the professional, he accepts it like a champ. โAnd thatโs all for now, folks! Stay tuned to watch my little chat with Meghan Markle about her ex-royal lifestyle. The teapot is boiling!โ
The cameras cut and Hyunjin quickly excuses himself, waving to all of the people wistfully gazing after him. He enters the little hallway behind the filming room and breaks into a run very unlike himself, practically having to swerve around crew members and stage equipment. As soon as heโs locked away inside his dressing room, Hyunjin slides off his patent leather loafers and falls back onto the couch.
Itโs been exactly three months since he first set eyes on you, kickstarting his unsavory fantasies and therein, digging himself into an early grave. And maybe it would have been okay, because as a male, sometimes heโs inclined to think with his dick. Itโs a biological reaction that he canโt control. But itโs not, though, because the constant image of you printed like a tattoo on his mind has been interfering with his life and sense of normalcy. Itโs a feeling thatโs only grown in magnitude, especially now that with your weekly sessions, youโve rapidly blossomed into the strong, confident woman that he always knew you were. So itโs not the fact that heโs hornyโ well, not the only factโ itโs that he might have feelings for you. Feelings that could get him into trouble, bigtime.
And the list that you wrote for him a while back definitely didnโt help. Hyunjin sits up, reaching for his notepad that he left on the little coffee table in front of the couch. He leafs through the pages, before pulling out the small slip of paper that he saved. Reading over the words for what feels like the umpteenth time, Hyunjin involuntarily smiles to himself. This time, itโs genuine.
The first thing that I donโt absolutely hate about myself is my imagination. Iโve been restricting myself a lot, lately, because I hated the thought of coming up with new ideas just to never bring them to life. Itโs probably my post-Jisung and ITEM Tech trauma. But I felt kind of inspired by our first meeting today. I have a lot of great ideas, and I think that one day, I have the potential to beat Jisungโs ass and make a better company than his.
My fucking patience. You know, you might think otherwise, because it may seem like I have the patience of a single mom at a birthday party. But today proved differently. My friend/coworker Minho and his wife invited me over for dinner, which would have been fine, except theyโre one of the most disgustingly perfect couples ever. They canโt go two minutes without giving each other a sappy ass look or holding hands or singing a song or something. And then Minhoโs wife asked me if I wanted some ice cream, like she and her man werenโt just all over each other a millisecond ago. I just smiled and nodded. You can say I have the patience of the saint, now.
I like how Iโm perseverant. For example: this. I could have given up after the first two days and ditched this piece of paper. But I didnโt. I want to be better. Iโm very perseverent. Okay, my hand hurts. Iโm putting down the pen for today.
My resilience. For the billionth time in my life, my boss made me want to drive out of work and jump into a lake. Long story short, Mark Lee is the worst motherfucker to ever exist (well, after his bestie Park Jisung. My boss and ex-boyfriend are friends. FML). But after one of his daily rants about how Iโm not up to mark for some random reason, I walked out of his office and into the office kitchen. I got a Sprite from the fridge, crushed the full can with my bare hands, and then proceeded to calmly clean up the spilled soda before going back to work. I deserve a medal for my healthy anger management technique of smashing things and then bouncing back like a frigginโ spring.
The only home cooked meals I can really stomach are the ones that Minho shares with me at work. You know, heโs really such a menace. When I moved into my current apartment, he got me a cutting board as a gift, knowing damn well I donโt cook. But nowadays, Iโve been slowly getting more comfortable in the kitchen. I still donโt think I trust myself in cooking, but Iโm kind of a really good baker, Iโm realizing. Today, I made brownies. Iโm eating one right now, and I guess I donโt hate that.
I am very patient, Part 2. My dumbass cousin, Yeonjun, called me up to hang out. Knowing him, that means me buying him a crap ton of expensive food. And heโs pretty loaded, too. I think he just loves pissing me off. First, he wanted pizza. That would have been fine, if we hit Dominoโs or something, but he made me take him to this ridiculously upscale restaurant downtown. Their damn pizzas had caviar and truffles on them! Like, what the fuck happened to good old pepperoni? And as if that wasnโt enough, he then started complaining that he wanted fucking dessert too. So he ordered this fruit charcuterie board that cost another fortune. On the way home, I had to get him an $8 boba because โthe cheese made him thirsty.โ His metabolism is amazing. Iโm kind of jealous. But anyway, Iโm practically Mother Teresa at this point, because dealing with Yeonjun is no easy task. Heโs lucky I love him.
Fundamentally, I think Iโm a good person. And I think I deserve to be happy. There. Seven things, seven days. Iโm done now. See you tomorrow.
Hyunjin sighs, sliding the paper back into his book and setting it inside his little Prada bag. This tiny scrap of paper had him seeing stars, when he first read it in the office, in front of you. Thereโs just something about you that he couldnโt and still canโt put his finger on. Maybe itโs how delightfully pugnacious you are, or that comically angry tone you approach the world with, no matter what. And he had to bite his tongue too, because thereโs no way you came up with just seven things, not when Hyunjin felt like he could give a whole recitation on your very attractive qualities, just after meeting with you once. Youโre unintentionally hilarious. Real. Tough. Inquisitive. Also, youโre simply the sexiest thing heโs ever seen.
Youโre like an impossible puzzle to him; all the pieces are there, and yet, he canโt seem to put you together. Or rather, he canโt seem to figure out how to get his own shit together and finish the damn puzzle. Because heโs oh-so down bad, and he knows it.ย
โDr. Hwang? Are you in there?โ
Hyunjin stands up immediately, locking away his daydreams about you and brushing off his trousers. He quickly smooths back his artfully slicked wolf cut and opens the door for Wonyoung to step inside with her trusty tablet. Momentarily, Hyunjin is sidetracked by her outfit, a stylish mini paired with a silky lilac bomber jacketโ because where the fuck are those heels fromโ before he remembers himself.
โWhatโs up?โ Hyunjin nonchalantly flicks a strand of hair out of his eyes, trying not to seem like he wasnโt just having a panic attack on that stupid couch just five seconds ago.
Wonyoung taps on the screen of the tablet for a few seconds, before looking up. โYou have an appointment with your personal trainer in twenty minutes. Youโre running late. And then at four, you need to get back to SeoulSpark for a meeting with a client. Hereโs your change of clothes. Iโve already called a car for you.โ
โOh. Thanks.โ Hyunjin accepts the gym bag, before jerking back in dreadful realization. โWait. Which client do I have to meet with today?โ
Wonyoung gives him a strange look. โMiss Y/L/N. Hey, are you alright, Dr. Hwang? You always stay on top of all of your engagements, but you havenโt been yourself lately.โ
At the mere mention of your name, Hyunjin literally wishes he could melt into a puddle right then and there. Of course he hasnโt been himself, not when you waltzed into the office and wreaked havoc on his very humble lifeโ for example, yesterday, he forgot to wear his Versace pajamas to sleep, and not his Fendi ones. Hyunjin knows that Saturdays are strictly for Versace; he promised Donatella years ago at the Met Gala. This is all your faultโ how can it be poor Hyunjinโs, when heโs just a mere mortal cowering in your goddess-like presence?ย
โI- Iโm okay, Wonyoung. I, uh, just ate some bad sushi.โ
โYou ate bad sushi every day for the past three months?โ Wonyoung suspiciously raises an eyebrow at Hyunjin. She isnโt buying it, unfortunately.ย
โUh-huh. Itโs a terrible addiction that Iโm trying to break. My raw seafood intake is off the charts. Guess Iโm not perfect after all,โ Hyunjin babbles, adding onto his already horrendous lie.ย
Wonyoung still doesnโt look convinced, but Hyunjin flounces out of the room before she can say anything else and uncover his deep, dark secret: you. Besides, his ride is waiting outside and his quads really need working.
โSee you later, Changbin.โ Hyunjin waves to his trainer as he grabs his belongings and exits the gym after a grueling workout. Usually, he prefers more low-impact routines, like aerial yoga or cycling around Marina del Rey. But because heโs been skimping out so much these days, Changbin made him do an endless round of jump squats before beating his ass in boxing.ย
Hyunjin presses his fingers to his aching back muscles, sore with both exhaustion and worry. The slim hands of his Rolex alert him to the fact that there is only one more hour before he must face you, and he is nowhere near ready. Heโll just have to skip the sauna today. Quickly, he gets into the car standing for him by the curb, slipping on his Gucci shades and sliding down below the window in the backseat, like a celebrity escaping a paparazzi cloud.
As soon as he gets back to Oasis, the opulent complex that houses his beloved penthouse, Hyunjin practically flies into his bathroom and locks the door. Without even bothering to set his eucalyptus shower steamer, Hyunjin cleans himself up as much as he can, scrubbing off the sweat and grit of the gym from his skin.ย
Once heโs finished, he gets dressed and sits down in front of his bedroom mirror thatโs designed to look like a Hollywood-style vanity. Taking a deep breath, he inspects his face for any signs of something off. Nope. He looks as dewy and fresh as a pink rose petal, minus the slight red rings under his eyes, which are the courtesy of many, many sleepless nights over you.
Hyunjin, however, is incredibly proud of himself for getting to the office with fifteen minutes to spare, therein being able to fit in a little solo pep talk in the car. His third outfit of the day is a show-stopping black Celine suit, practically designed to make heads turn. It definitely isnโt to impress you with his impeccable styleโ no, he did it for himself, obviously. Thatโs the only reason. And itโs a little extravagant, even for Hyunjin, but then again, heโs never been known for his subtlety.ย
His post-workout clarity gives him hope that everything will go back to normal, before you. All he needs to do is focus on himself. Everything else will pass, eventually. At least, thatโs what Hyunjin keeps telling himself to believe, right before he crashes headfirst into you in the hallway outside of his office.
โHey, Hyunjin!โ Grinning, you hold out a small gift box tied with a sunny bow, which is coincidentally the exact same yellow as the dress you wore when Hyunjin first met you. Today, youโre sporting salmon-colored shorts and a cream blouse with an adorable sailor collar, and Hyunjin immediately has to tamp down the urge to whisk you away to go on a private boating vacation on a yacht in St. Barts. God, you really have amazing style.
Hyunjin swallows roughly and takes the box, trying to look more excited about it than how utterly taken with you he is. โAfternoon, darling. Whatโs this?โ
You reach your hand over to where the box rests in Hyunjinโs hands, toying with the bow. Hyunjin automatically feels himself internally hyperventilate at your proximity thatโs too close for comfort.ย
โMango cheesecake. Iโve been trying to perfect the recipe for a while now, and I think it finally turned out really well.โ You break into a bright smile that makes Hyunjinโs brain short circuit. โI want to thank you for all of your help, besides me being less-than-cooperative sometimes. Coming here has really changed my perspective on things, and for the better.โ
Hyunjin clutches the box to his chest. He had always suspected that you are the sweetest, under your stormy exterior, and thereโs nothing he wouldnโt do to get a taste and confirm the truth for himself. Nevertheless, heโs both touched and now even more delusional, because you spent time on him, making something to give him. โDarling, you shouldnโt have.โ
You pout in response, and Hyunjin grasps the box even tighter, nearly crushing the contents in an effort to get a grip on himself. โI wanted to do something nice for you.โ
Hyunjin grins, feeling himself relax a little. Thatโs one more thing about youโ you have this contradicting ability to induce both calmness and anxiety into him, another kind of black magic that you definitely harbor in your bewitching eyes. โWell, thank you. I canโt wait to try it.โ
You look away shyly and gesture towards Hyunjinโs office. โShould we head in?โ
Smiling to himself, Hyunjin steps ahead to open the door for you as you duck your head and scramble in, folding yourself onto the sofa that you both are now well-acquainted enough to often share. After setting his velvet tote bag onto his desk, Hyunjin sits down beside you, holding out a glass of mango juice to you, a drink that you now frequent whenever you meet. Plus the cheesecake? You really must love mangoes.
As you sip on your juice, Hyunjin decides to take the reasonable course of action available: ask you about your day, not if youโre available next Friday night at six. โHow have you been? Iโm sorry I couldnโt see you last week.โ
You shrug, waving off Hyunjinโs apology like itโs nothing. It isnโt, though; he would rather have spent time with you than having to fly to Shanghai for some brand endorsement deal that his agent made him take. โDonโt worry about it. And Iโve been good. Evidently, in a much more agreeable mood these days. Itโs certainly a step-up from the grumpier me, isnโt it?โ
โI like you however you are,โ Hyunjin blurts out without thinking, before freezing in realization. In a better world, he would have had the sense to at least clamp his hand over his mouth before he could say something stupid, but unfortunately, heโs stuck here. He wills the stammering, bumbling idiot that he turns into when youโre around to disappear, to be replaced by his usual, suave self. It doesnโt quite work, because he feels a furious blush building on his neck.
Youโve also turned a light shade of pink, and Hyunjin prays to God that you canโt see through his bullshit. โBecause Iโm your client. You accept me however I am.โ
Hyunjin has to mentally stab himself with a fork as a reminder that he cannot, under any circumstances, disagree, although he really, really wants to. You could never be just a client to him. Youโre too precious to him for that title. Yet, he keeps a straight face as he nods, disgusted with what heโs about to say. โExactly. Youโre my client.โ
You down the rest of your drink, setting the glass down on the coffee table. โAnyway, you emailed me that you had something special planned for today. What is it?โ
โRight.โ Hyunjin clears his throat, getting up from the sofa to make his way over to his desk. He opens one of the drawers and pulls out the thick binder heโs been dreading using with you for a while now. It weighs his hands down like an unpleasant secret as he sits back down next to you.ย
โWhatโs this?โ You inquire, leaning in closer to Hyunjin. The movement allows the sugary scent of your vanilla perfume become even more prominent to Hyunjin, which is definitely not helpful right now. Hyunjin stares down at the binder, adopting a robotic tone that wonโt betray his thoughts.
โWeโve worked on just you for the past few months, and now itโs time. Youโre finally ready to explore dating.โ Hyunjin opens the binder, trying to ignore the sour taste of the words on his tongue. โAnd as Iโve told you before, SeoulSpark has an incredible matchmaking service that caters to everything you desire in a potential partner.โ
โCool! How does it work?โย
Out of the corner of his eye, he notices your shorts ride up slightly, further exposing the soft skin of your upper thigh. Think of the fork, Hyunjin. Think of the damn fork.
โWell, Iโve already compiled a number of candidates in our database whose profiles complement yours. Weโre going to be setting up a time when you can speed date them.โย
You quirk your eyebrow in a way that shouldnโt be as attractive as it is to Hyunjin. โSpeed dating? Thatโsโฆโ
โI know, I know. It might seem weird at first, but thatโs why weโre doing it the SeoulSpark way, to reduce awkwardness and make it really worth your time. Weโll go over the candidates briefly, and weed out the ones you really donโt want to see.โ Hyunjin opens the binder, going to the profiles. โBut I wonโt tell you their names, so we can maintain at least a small element of surprise.โ
Your eyes widen as you take in the first candidateโs picture, and Hyunjin has to fight the burning jealousy in his chest. โWow. Heโs handsome.โ
โSwipe left or right?โ
โRight.โ
โOkay.โ Hyunjin turns to the next page. โWhat about him?โ
โUh, left. He reminds me of my uncle. No thank you.โ
Hyunjin stifles his smile as he continues flipping through the profiles, noting down your answers. He tries to enjoy your unfiltered reactions and not think about the fact that one of these lucky bastards could be your future husband. Finally, he gets to the last candidate.
You frown. โHe looks kind of like a chipmunk. A quokka, maybe.โ
โSo is that a left?โ
โIโll say right. He seems like heโd be interesting.โ You shrug, your eyes glittering with mischief. โActually, Iโm kind of excited now. Some of these guys are lookers.โ
Hyunjin laughs in spite of himself, shutting the binder and standing up. โIโll email you the details of the event by next week, when weโll be holding it. โ
You nod, tucking a strand of loose hair behind your earโ oh, how Hyunjin wishes he could just casually do that for you. โGot it. Iโll make sure to look dazzling.โ
โDarling, you always look dazzling.โ Hyunjin smirks in self-satisfaction when you flush at his quip. Itโs not exactly a reaction thatโs foreign to him, but seeing you like this, all cute and bashful, is new. And itโs a look thatโs very attractive on you. Hopefully, you attribute the flirting to Hyunjinโs naturally charming personality, not the fact that heโs impossibly gone for you. Not that the truth would make a difference, however. Youโll never be his.
โThanks, Hyunjin.โ You get up from your seat, letting Hyunjin walk you out, like he always does. โI feel like you have a vision going on for this matchmaking event.โ
โOh, I always have a vision.โ Hyunjin chuckles, opening the door for you. โWeโre considering a tropical theme, or a garden party, maybe. Or something glamorous. Kind of like prom, but without the bad music and horny teenagers, you know?โ
You shrug. โActually, I never went to my high school senior prom. But all of these ideas sound incredible.โ
He pauses, his eyes widening. โYou never went to prom?โ
โThere was this guy.โ You look uncomfortable, but before Hyunjin can assure you that you donโt have to tell him about it, you decide to continue. โI wanted to go with him, but long story short, he rejected me. And I didnโt really have any friends I could go with either. I could have gone on my own, but I wasnโt brave enough. Itโs one of the things that I did when I was younger that I regret now. I guess it just speaks volumes about how I hold myself back a lot.โ
Hyunjin frowns. โWho in their right mind would reject you?โ
โMy first love, apparently. And a bunch of others.โ You sigh, fiddling with the little bow on your sleeve. โBut whatever. Iโm going to find a real man.โ
โTheyโre idiots. And prom isnโt even all that.โ
You snort. โSays you. Iโll bet you were the kind of guy who got invited by all of the girls to be their date to prom, even if you werenโt even a senior yet.โ
โExactly. I would know precisely that prom is overrated as fuck.โ Hyunjin gives you a smile. โMaybe weโll just go with the garden party.โ
You stay quiet for a moment, as if thinking something over, before looking directly into Hyunjinโs eyes. โShame. I think I wouldโve liked to see you in a tux.โ
And with that, you turn around and leave, as Hyunjin just stays rooted on the spot, dumbfounded. Because how can you just so easily shoot an arrow straight into his heart and walk away? Youโre a threat to society. Youโre a wicked enchantress. Youโre the bane of Hyunjinโs existence, and yet, he wants you to come back and string him along like a fucking bow. The dilemma is clear: Hyunjin absolutely cannot just move on from you. This is an extremely deafening cry for help.
โWonyoung?โ Hyunjin croaks, as he steps back inside and collapses onto his chair.
Hyunjinโs loyal secretary sticks her head into the room, her glossy locks tumbling over her shoulders like a Pantene commercial. Hyunjin makes a mental note to ask her later about her hair care routine. โYes, boss?โ
โCall Dr. Kim for me, please. I donโt feel so good.โ
โOf course. I guess the bad sushi really got you this time.โ
โStrep throat? Negative. Flu swab test? Negative. Every single other test you made me administer for you? Ditto.โย
Hyunjin aggressively rubs his palms over his face. โIs there anything else, Seungmin? Are you sure there is absolutely nothing wrong with me? Should we do anything again?โ
Seungmin rolls his eyes, setting his clipboard down on the bench space next to him. โItโs Dr. Kim. And I did a Barium Swallow test for you, Hyunjin. You donโt just do those for any idiot who walks in begging to be examined for no apparent ailment. Took thirty minutes and nothing at all. Chief resident would be on my ass if she knew.โ
โYouโd think we havenโt been best friends since our Stanford days,โ Hyunjin says. โThere is something wrong with me.โ
Hyunjin stares down at the upper right leg of his pants, picking at a small loose thread. Heโs never seen one appear in his clothing ever since he was eighteen and quiet being so fashionably challenged, but instead of disgust, he feels a strange sense of solidarity. Just like the thread, he feels out of place; confused and lost, even though heโs standing right in the middle of half of the worldโs dream. But wanting someone who he can never have isnโt a dream, surely, and neither is the phantom pain in his abdomen, the one that Dr. Kim claims doesn't exist.
โโOur Stanford daysโ were literally only three years ago. And I was in med school while you were getting a PhD in the study of crazies. I knew there were a couple screws loose up there,โ Seungmin scoffs, tapping his temple in flourish punctuated with impudence. โI should have known better than to befriend your ass.โ
โSeung-min, youโre lying,โ Hyunjin retorts, emphasizing the syllables of his friendโs name. โI swear, Iโm sick.โ
Seungmin groans, fed up with Hyunjinโs stubborn mindset. โYouโre twenty-eight years old and have your own booming practice. Hell, you wear head-to-toe designer, even underwearโ yes, I saw the Gucci briefs in your bag, that one time you made me go shopping with you. Meanwhile, Iโm a stressed, overworked, and underpaid surgery resident who has to listen to his rich and famous best friend complain that heโs not feeling well. Oh, poor baby. What the fuck is wrong with you?โ
โIโm trying! Iโm trying, okay?โ Hyunjin finally explodes, throwing his hands up in the air. Usually, he maintains that peaceful temperament that puts up with Seungminโs attitude. Not today, however. โHonestly, Seungmin, you want to know whatโs wrong with me? Her. Sheโs all over me, inside and out! Everywhere I look, Iโm reminded of her. Everywhere I goโ her. And you know what? Itโs not all in my head. Itโs not a fucking crazy case. I physically feel myself wanting to throw up every five fucking minutes. I have a horrible headache that wonโt go away, no matter how long I rot in my bed. Iโm sore all over and I just want to go home!โ
Hyunjinโs best friend just glares at him in shock for a good few seconds, watching as he pants from the ferocity of his words. And then he recovers, smoothing his face over into that signature judgemental expression, because heโs Kim Seungmin. โI shouldโve known this was about a girl.โ
Hyunjin sighs. Thankfully, no one overheard his rant, because this is Seungminโs lunch break and whenever Hyunjin insists on an emergency meeting, Seungmin brings him over to this empty corridor tucked behind the equipment storage rooms, where no prying eyes wander.ย
โItโs not just any girl, Seungmin. Itโs the girl. Sheโsโฆ all I do know is that sheโs my client who walked into my life three months ago and proceeded to destroy it. She came in like a tropical storm and now she smiles at me like the fucking sun. She confuses me and makes me forget random shit and she doesnโt even know about any of it. And all I want to be is hers, even though I canโt be.โ
Seungmin doesnโt say anything, before he bursts into uncontrollable laughter, the kind that makes his body shake with impact. โYouโฆ areโฆ actingโฆ so stupid.โ
And this only makes Hyunjin even more frustrated. โWell, thatโs the whole damn point! Iโm not stupid, but Iโm obviously acting it! I donโt know what to do, Seungmin! Help a brother out!โ
After he calms himself down, Seungmin sighs loudly and wipes the traces of any tears caused by amusement of Hyunjinโs plight. โIโm not an expert in this, Hyunjin. But to be honest, it seems to me that youโre falling for her, and youโre just in denial.โ
Hyunjin feels nothing short of horrified. โButโฆ I canโt be. Are you sure?โ
โArenโt you the frigginโ Love Doctor or some shit? How the fuck am I supposed to be sure?โ
But Hyunjin barely hears Seungmin, getting off the bench to pace back and forth in the little hallway. He canโt be falling for you, becauseโ he just canโt! The plethora of problems that would arise from him falling in love with you are fucking endless, the worst being that you could end up negatively impacted. And all because your stupid, idiotic dating coach couldnโt keep his stupid, idiotic feelings in check. He would rather give up his beloved Versace brand deal than ever see you hurt, and thatโs really saying something.
Seungmin tries to get to Hyunjin again. โOr maybe youโre not falling for her. Maybe youโre just horny.โ
Hyunjin whirls around, side-eyeing Seungmin with disgust. โThe hell you mean?โ
โWhenโs the last time you, you know? Got some?โ
โYou put it so eloquently.โ Hyunjin rolls his eyes. โAnd itโs been ten months.โ
โSee? Thatโs definitely it. You need to get laid, and youโre taking your sexual frustration out like this. Youโre always the one lecturing everyone else on having healthy sex and love lives and shit, but really youโre a hypocrite. Tell me, why are you such a hypocrite, Hyunjin?โ
Hyunjin crosses his arms, irritated yet able to see Seungminโs point. He had his share of relationships, enough to augment his experience and research in the whole field. Itโs not like they all ended badly, thoughโ quite the opposite, really. The majority of them were amicable splits, or awkward conversations, at the very most. The only notably sour memory is Hyunjinโs ex-girlfriend from ninth grade, the one who broke up with him in a fit of jealousy when another girl confessed her love for Hyunjin. But then again, all high school relationships are basically doomed to crash and burn.
Hyunjin was careful to never get into anything too serious anyway, because his only love would be his job; he broke up with his last girlfriendโ which might be a strong word for someone who merely considered him a wine-and-dine booty callโ because he just didnโt feel that same spark with her that he felt when running his business. And he didnโt think he had that capacity to feel it anywhere else, but that was all before you.
โI donโt know, Seungmin.โ Hyunjin looks down glumly at the concrete flooring, his body completely exhausted of all of the fight in him
The look in Seungminโs eyes softens as Hyunjin slumps back into his seat. โDonโt you think that youโve been so busy thinking about helping other people with their loves that youโve completely neglected yours? When are you going to stop being so goddamn perfect and care for yourself?โ
โBut I do care for myself! Why else would I have a fourteen-step skincare routine and Gucci boxers?โ Hyunjin protests, stalling more than really arguing. He just doesnโt want to admit to whatโs really bothering him.
Seungmin rolls his eyes for what feels like the hundredth time in the past ten minutes. He should get back to rounds; lunch will be over soon. โThatโs not self-care, thatโs called being fucking weird. And Iโm talking about your head. You have this illusion up there that in order to help others, you need to be flawless. Get out of it, man. Whether you want someone to have a one-night stand with or have your freaking children, you need to be open and pursue it. Life is messy and unpredictable, even for neurotic perfectionists like you. Itโs okay to be horny. Itโs okay to be in love. Itโs okay to be you.โ
Hyunjin ponders over Seungminโs advice, before looking up. โI hate when youโre right.โ
โI know.โ
โFine.โ
โDonโt you โfineโ me, dumbass. Go put on your Armani shit and get going, for fuckโs sake. This isnโt Mission Impossible. I canโt believe I have to tell you this.โ Seungmin shakes his head, dusting off his scrubs. He leans forward to tighten the laces on his special work sneakers; the clock is really ticking down now.
Hyunjin gives Seungmin a withering look. โI wear Versace on my missions.โ
โWelcome to SeoulSparkโs third biannual company-wide Matchmaking Event!โ
The small crowd of hopeful singles crammed into the gazebo politely claps as the speaker looks down at all of you from his perch on the little elevated platform, like some kind of an all-knowing benefactor.ย
โThank you everyone. You can call me Jin, and Iโll be your emcee and operations director on this fine afternoon.โ He beams. โAnd can I just say, you people look so good today? Obviously not as much as me, but still.โโ
A scattered collection of horribly faked laughter ripples throughout the gathering, and you have to resist rolling your eyes. If it wasnโt for the fact that Jin does actually serve as great eye candy, you wouldโve already been putting on your sunglasses and trying to fake being awake.ย
โDr. Hwang will be here in a few moments to intro, and then weโll get on with it!โ Jin states, continuing his unnecessary theatrics. โBut while we wait, can someone answer this question: what do you call an ice cream that parties too hard?โ
Before the inevitable awkward silence can ensue, some bored-looking man who stands a little further away from everyone else pipes up. You recognize him as the very first candidate whose picture Hyunjin had presented to youโ the hot oneโ except now, his short, preppy haircut has grown out into a wavy mullet. โJust say it.โ
Jin looks temporarily taken aback by the manโs unfiltered attitude, before correcting his expression back into a winning smile. โIt is out of CONE-trol! Get it? Because of the ice cream cone? Isnโt that funny?โ
There isnโt a single person in the crowd who looks impressed, least of all mullet-guy. โNo. And it still wouldnโt be funny even if I was seven years old and actually liked horrible dad jokes.โ
Thereโs a bite to his tone, and Jin seems to have taken it personally. Jin clears his throat, stuck while clearly trying to think of something to say, when relief comes over his face as he looks directly at you. โThere he is! Dr. Hwang: the man of the hour.โ
You turn around so fast that you nearly get whiplash, and of course Hyunjin is right there, towering over you like some sort of gorgeous sunflower. Fuckโ you knew you smelled that stormy jasmine in the air, but you passed it off as just your imagination. And because there are so many people packed into this tiny pavilion, your bodies are practically pressed together as everyone else cranes their necks to get a load of the Love Doctor.ย
โItโs so good to see you, darling. You look stunning,โ Hyunjin says to you, in a way that seems so genuine that your baby blue gingham sundress from Target doesnโt feel so childish anymore, like you thought after seeing all of the other ladiesโ stylish getups.
โThanks.โ You blush, averting your eyes. The last time you met up with him, your bolder alter-ego possessed you for a second and threw a flirty one-liner at Hyunjin, when you realized yourself and walked the hell away, before you could gauge his reaction. โYou look very stunning yourself as well.โ
And he truly is, as always, dressed in another quirky yet stylish look: a high-neck jacket and camel cargos, complete with a chain link shoulder leather bag. The thick gold crosses dangling from his ears donโt look gaudy, instead bringing out a youthful glow in Hyunjinโs skin. God, you really love a man who can dress.
โEverything alright, Dr. Hwang?โ Jin calls out, breaking you out of your trance.
โYes, Jin. Iโll be up in a second.โ Hyunjin doesnโt take his eyes off of you, just serenely blinking like he has all the time in the world. โI absolutely adored your mango cheesecake, darling. You have to tell me about the recipe later.โ
He shoots you one last disarming smile, before heading up to the platform, and youโre left to longingly stare after him like a dessert enthusiast on a sugar-free diet. You watch him take the mic from Jin, who dramatically holds out his hands towards Hyunjin when backing off of the platform.ย
โHello!โ Hyunjin chirps, and really, the wind is a paid actor here, breezing in and perfectly tousling his midnight mane.ย
This time, the audienceโs response is more authentic, everyone responds in their own greetings out loud. You canโt help but feel your heart swell at the sight; your crush really is so charismatic.
โSo, weโve already explained how todayโs going to work in the emails that were sent out to all of you a couple days ago. But to debrief: we will be having fifteen six-minute speed dating rounds today, each held at one of the designated tables,โ Hyunjin explains, gesturing to the space surrounding the gazebo.
For the matchmaking event, SeoulSpark booked out Cafe Fiorella, a posh little eatery nestled in the heart of Vista Hermosa Natural Parkโs dusty garden trails and meadows. Hyunjin and his planners did an outstanding job of organizing everything, and even you canโt help but note how impossibly romantic it isโ for a speed-dating gig, at least. There are dainty bistro tables set up in the grassy outdoor dining area and nestled on top of them, multiple tiered platters loaded with hors d'oeuvres and decorative blossoms. You donโt even want to think about how much this would have cost.
โBefore each round, you will all get a text providing you with the number of your table, where you will be able to chat with your partner, one of the candidates that corresponded with your profile.โ Hyunjin catches your eye, and you feel yourself heat up. Focus. โAfter every round, take note of who you want to see again, and at the end, weโll give you a form to fill out and submit. When you have your next appointment with us, weโll let you know who youโve matched with. Any questions?โ
No one raises any, probably because theyโre too self-conscious to ask in front of their potential partners, which leaves Hyunjin to just nod. โMy team and I will be present as chaperones, just making sure everything is going smoothly. And Iโd also like to thank our Dr. Jeonโs brother, Mr. Kim Seokjin, for volunteering to time and emcee the event!โ
โOh, Hyun. Always so formal. Call me Mr. Worldwide Handsome instead!โ Jin calls out from the back. He does an exaggerated little bow and youโ along with many other attendeesโ have to stifle a laugh. What a cheeseball.ย
Hyunjin just smiles graciously, eyes crinkling with mischief. โLetโs get the party going!โ
The up-tempo, raunchy sound of girl rap blasts out of speakers that you didnโt even know existed, scaring the shit out of you momentarily. You have no doubt at all that the afternoonโs garden party beats were compiled by your eccentric Love Doctor, before you start to subconsciously swayโ and mentally twerkโ to โBody.โ
โLadies and gents, this is just in with Jin! Make sure to find your seats in the next five minutes, and weโll start the clock!โ
Your phone chimes with your first table assignment of the day, and you make your way over there, dodging the throngs of men and women antsy to discover their matches. You sit down at your table, trying to ignore the nervousness building in your chest. With the presence of Hyunjin, his beautiful self lingering somewhere barely a few feet away from you, youโre not sure you can give today your best. And for the first timeโ itโs not you. Itโs the fact that you have feelings for your unsuspecting charmer, and deep inside, you canโt fight the thought of not being able to get over him.ย
But a lively ambiance courtesy of Megan Thee Stallion doesnโt fit the deep, contemplative mood, so you resort to pushing away your qualms and blankly gazing out at the high rise views while waiting for your partner. If this doesnโt work out, at least you can say you had a nice time humming to lovably NSFW music and raiding the appetizers.ย
โBeefing with you bitches really getting kinda boringโโ
โYou know, I kind of vibe with this shit.โ Mullet-guy from earlier plops down into the chair across from you. โDonโt tell Mr. Worldwide Handsome that, though. Iโll never give him the satisfaction.โ
You giggle at the comically blank expression on mullet-guyโs face. โDonโt worry. I donโt think Jin wouldโve added the EDM remix of โSavageโ to the playlist.โ
Mullet-guy doesnโt smile, but you catch the flicker of amusement in his eyes. โFair enough. Iโm Yoongi.โ
โY/N.โ You carefully take a mini slice of flaky herbed pastry off of the stand and place it on the china plate in front of you. Now that everyone has settled down, the music has been turned down to enable better conversation. โMaybe Iโm being blunt here, but you donโt exactly strike me as the type of guy to go to a speed-dating event.โ
โWell, what kind of guy do I strike you as?โ Yoongi asks, settling back comfortably into his chair. If it was anyone else talking, you would have thought they were flirting with you. But not with Yoongiโ you canโt quite put your finger on it, but he feels incredibly familiar to you. This could be just another regular talk with a good friend.
You make a show of taking in his beat-up leather jacket and the silver stud in his left ear, all add-ons to his roguishly handsome aesthetic. โWannabe SoundCloud rapper meets Fuji Kaze, except with an even worse fashion sense.โ
Most people would have already shrank away from your sarcastic sense of humor, but Yoongi claps back. โI could say the same for you. Donโt tell me youโre actually going for The Stepford Wives with that dress. You even have the Mary-Jane shoes.โ
โThese are discounted flats from Old Navy, donโt even. And Iโll bet your emo ass was stuck in Hot Topic since grade school.โ
Yoongi bursts out laughing. โOkay, you win. But youโre not wrong thoughโ I am a rapper, of sorts.โ
You lean forward. โReally?โ
โOf sortsโ I haven't had much time to really get into it and improve myself, ever since I started my own record label last year, D-2 Music,โ Yoongi says, picking at his peach scone. โManaging other artists is my focus these days. Been writing my whole life, though.โ
โWhat do you like to write about?โ You take a bite of your pastry, savoring how it nearly melts in your mouth. Maybe this thing isnโt that bad; good food and good conversation. Besides, this Yoongi is totally intriguing to you.
โDreams, depression, obsession.โ Yoongi steadily holds your gaze, and you donโt look away.
โRefreshing.โ
โI get that a lot.โ Yoongi takes a sip of his mimosa, before making a face and putting it back down.ย
โNo, but seriously. I hate pretending, most of all. Perfection doesnโt exist, and a lot of people canโt get a grip on that.โ You shrug, wiping your mouth with one of the provided lavender napkins. โIt is refreshing that you donโt seem to give a crap about others.โ
โYeah.โ Yoongi smiles, and you think itโs a good look on him. It doesnโt fade even after what he says next. โWeโre not going to be a match, are we?โ
In that moment, you can confidently say that you are both the same exact person, and while it feels so good to finally speak with someone who might remotely understand exactly what you are, you know it can never be a sustainable relationship. The two strong-minded pessimists that you both are would only clash or just further bring each other down, in the end. So you return his smile, not a hint of sorrow in it.ย
โProbably not.โ Both of you clink your champagne classes together and drink on it, before collectively gagging at the taste.
โTimeโs up, people! Please bid your partners adieu and get on to your next table!โ Jinโs voice breaks out through his microphone, and immediately, the music resumes as the frenzy starts all over again.
You stand up, smoothing out your skirt and looking over at Yoongi, who stays seated, taking his own time finishing his scone. โCatch you later, Hot Topic.โ
โLikewise, Mary-Jane.โ Yoongi snickers, tilting his head up in a casual goodbye.ย
You make your way to your new assignment, and as you approach, you remember him. The next person sitting there is the final candidate that Hyunjin had shown you, the one with the rather squirrely look to him. You have to admit, however, that he isnโt bad-looking, with wavy brown bangs falling into his eyes and a soft smile painting his features. He looks simple, a pretty boy waiting for a girl. You feel like youโre reading a picture book with a happy ending, because there are no puzzles to stay sleepless over. You see the bistro table becoming a kitchen counter, frequented for coffee talk and family dinnersโ there is no smoke-cracked glass desk that costs more than your entire salary. And youโre not Pygmalion sculpting Galatea, the gender bended Grecian rendition of the Hyunjin who plagues your thoughts; instead, you can see the elementary construction paper dotted with finger-painted sunny skies.
โHi,โ you greet, dragging out your chair and locking eyes with the stranger. Strangely, you donโt feel that telltale thump of your heartbeat in your panting chestโ you sense a steady rhythm, and perhaps you could get used to it. Think: the picture book over the puzzle. You like staying in check and controlโ Hyunjin doesnโt allow you that power, no matter how unknowingly he keeps it for himself.ย
โHi,โ he responds. โI, uh, thought you had a nice smile in your picture. Itโs even better in real life.โ
You stay unfazed; compliments donโt affect you muchโ when they come from anyone but Hyunjin. Still, itโs a cute try, and you decide to dig in deeper. To you, directness is keyโ again, when dealing with anyone but Hyunjin.ย
You slide your finger down the damp side of your champagne flute, tracing a haphazard shape in the water drops. The man falls quiet again, and you donโt bother saying anything else, just taking him in. You donโt have much experience with conversation loaded with romantic intent, and this holds true even with your infamous ex-boyfriend.
Park Jisung had spied you at a holiday festival on your college campus, and then proceeded to ask you out. It was pretty unceremonious, to say the least, and thinking in hindsight, you canโt remember a time when he actually tried to get to know you. You were so enamored with him that you didnโt bat an eye, not even when he insisted on having sex with you on your very first date. And it was also your very first time, actuallyโ but you didnโt question it. And the sex? It was over in less than five minutes and he left right after he finished, but it just felt nice to be wanted, for once.ย
In the following months, you realized that when he wasnโt sleeping with you, Jisung was in his own world. You barely existed to him, while you memorized his Chipotle order and silently bought new soap for him when it ran out. It wasnโt hard to figure out that he just wanted a warm body in his bed to replace the other ones heโd fucked with all day.ย
โYou should know that I have asthma, just in case you intend on taking my breath away on a regular basis,โ the man blurts out, snapping you out of your depressing Jisung-reverie.
You bite back a snortโ looks like Mr. Worldwide Handsome has new competition for the corniest person at this place. โThank you.โย
He coughs, no doubt embarrassed by his poorly executed pick-up line. โSorry. I canโt help it. Pretty people make me nervous.โ
โYouโre pretty too.โ You shrug nonchalantly as the man blushes. โWhatโs your name?โ
โHan Jisung.โ
You nearly throw the champagne in his face. โCome again?โ
โJisung. My name is Jisung.โ
You clench your fists under the table, trying not to break something. Of all the people in this worldโ of all the fucking names in this worldโ you just had to get set-up with a guy who shares the same name as a monster who did nothing but hurt you. What the fuck, universe? You glance at your phone screen peeking out of your purseโ there are still four minutes left in this stupid round.ย
โHey, is everything good?โย
โWhy wouldnโt it be?โ You look up, giving him a venomous smile. Screw the picture book. โWhat do you like to do in your free time, Han Jisung? Donโt tell me you like to day-drink and play beer pong.โ
โIโm not really a drinker. And you can just call me Ji-โ
โTell me, Han Jisung, is your zodiac sign Aquarius? And do you work in tech? Do you work for NCT Corp? Do you?โ You inquire without a break, gulping down your glass before refilling it with more of that horrendous champagne. The angel on your shoulder implores you not to project your ex-boyfriendโs personality onto the poor sucker sitting in front of you, but the devil whispers a different tune. You decide to follow the latterโs advice; raging hellfire is always more fun.
Han Jisung looks bewildered, but answers your question anyway. โUm, I'm a Virgo. I do work in tech, but with JYP Electronics.โ
โWonderful.โย
โAnywayโฆ I never got your name,โ Han Jisung tries, visibly shaken by your suddenly aggressive line of questioning.ย
You scowl at him. โThatโs because I already made the mistake of trusting someone like you, Han Jisung.โ
Thereโs still a few seconds left in the round timer, but you donโt pay any mind to it. Your social battery has been exhausted, and all of the progress youโve made in a long time has gone to dust in a mere five-minute parameter. You grab your bag and stalk away from the table, leaving Han Jisung staring after you, openmouthed and utterly perplexed by the unmerited hostility. But screw himโ you canโt even live for a day without being reminded by your douchebag ex who traumatized the fuck out of you.
In your fury, you barely notice the rolling cart of lunch items that accidentally rams into your side. Bowls of pesto pasta fly off the cart, the roasted cherry tomatoes arching in the air in perfect semi-circles before splattering onto the pristine grass. The restaurant staff immediately attends to the mess, while the other guests just glance carelessly at the mess before continuing onto the next round. You rub your hip as Hyunjin rushes over to you.
โDarling, are you alright?โ Hyunjin drapes his arm around your shoulders, gazing at you with concern. You melt into his touch for a moment, the frustration simmering with the longing inside of you. โWhere were you going?โ
You back away from him. โThis was a bad idea. Maybe Iโm not ready for this. I need more time.โ
He frowns, stepping closer to you. โButโโ
โHan Jisung?โ You interrupt, more animosity in your tone than you intend for there to be. โYou knew his name when showing me his profile.โ
Hyunjinโs eyes widen in both remembrance and regret. โOh my god. I didnโt realizeโ Iโm so sorry, Y/N.โ
You take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. Even taking into account how you feel right now, you donโt want to take it out on Hyunjin. Never. โItโs not your fault. But Iโll be on my way.โ
Ducking your head, you turn and walk away, furiously blinking the tears away. A small part of you wishes Hyunjin would call you back, hug you close to him and ask you to stay. But he doesnโt, because he knows his boundaries. Itโs you who doesnโt know their place, because regardless of the smarting pain inside of you, you want Hyunjin to bandaid your emotional damage.ย
And as you pick up your pace, you realize that maybe you really are doomed to be Pygmalion, yearning for someone who no one else can even compare to, someone whoโll never be yours. No matter what sorts of grotesque demons haunt you, the most sinister of them all is the off-limits adonis who disturbs your heart even when youโre still reeling from the previous break. Han Jisungโs sunny skies woke you up from your dreamsโ Galatea is a fucking statue, art that will never come alive.ย
โWell, that was a colossal disaster.โ Hyunjin covers his face with his palms and shrinks into the buttery leather upholstery of his seat.ย
Wonyoung glances over at him as the car starts up. โWhat do you mean? I think it went great. I saw a sickening amount of flirting going on. Pretty soon, youโll be officiating a bunch of weddings.โ
Hyunjin groans, shaking his head. โBut did you see the way Y/N left, Wonyoung? The whole Jisung thing? God, I screwed things up colossally.โ
โItโs not your job to remember the names of all of your clientsโ ex-boyfriends. It was an honest mistake that we both overlooked.โ
โStill.โ
โDr. Hwang, I feel like thereโs more to this than youโre letting on.โ Wonyoung crosses her arms. โSince when did you get so worked up over a clientโ over anything?โ
Hyunjin rolls his eyes like a petulant child. โIโm not getting worked up.โ
โYes, you are.โ
โAm not.โ
โSure.โ Wonyoung looks back down at her tablet, tapping away at the screen. โIโm already seeing so many matches.โ
โNice.โ Hyunjin looks out the window pointedly. โItโs always fucking raining these days.โ
โDr. Hwang.โ
Hyunjin ignores Wonyoung, just leaning forward to instruct the cab driver. โActually, can you drop me off at The North End? Thanks.โ
โSeriously. What is going on?โ Wonyoung presses once more. โYou canโt just go drinking now, not like this.โ
โIโll be fine, Ms. Jang.โ Hyunjin doesnโt meet her eyes as he gets out of the car, placing a few bills covering the whole cab fare into her hands. โGet home safe.โ
Before she can protest, Hyunjin closes the door and lets the drizzle envelop him, effectively ruining his new logo-motif jacquard set. But he doesnโt give a fuck as he steps into the bar like a shivering stray cat, because the stench of liquor and greasy peanuts is strong enough to incapacitate his inner fashion police.ย
โBourbon, on the rocks,โ Hyunjin orders glumly, looking down at his phone screen, a shot of Princess Diana on her birthday last year. She looks absolutely precious in that fluffy pink tutu that he dressed her in, a sight that never fails to make Hyunjin melt. Today, however, not even his adorably stylish puppy can cure him. He downs the whiskey the bartender sets in front of him, wincing at the burn he so rightfully deserved.
When you stormed out of the party just barely two hours ago, it took every fiber of Hyunjinโs being to not run after you. Heโd wanted to ditch everyone and just kiss it better for you. Heโd take you back to his apartment, run you a bath, cook you a comfort meal, and massage all of your sore spots. And then heโd cuddle with you on the couch, holding you while you fall asleep in his arms. But his stupid common sense held him back, rooting him to the spot like a big, dumb boulder.ย
After speaking with Seungmin, he realized how precisely heโs gone for you. And it obviously wouldnโt end well, so he decided that distanceโ complete professionalismโ would be the way to go. Last night, heโd tried a crapload of healthy methods to try and fix himself, from watching porn to reading porn to even listening to porn on some sketchy podcastโ anything to distract him from the thought of you. But nothing worked, because he wasnโt horny. No, he had an emotional bonerโ the worst kind of boners. In the end, heโd realized that the only way to move on from you would be get his ass out there and find someone else,a reboundโ which is what heโd been dreading all along.
Therefore, heโd turned around like a fucking moron and went back to the party, listlessly floating around like a trash bag discarded on the highway. And now, heโs at some bar with high end cocktails that are just a pretentious way of saying โfuck meโ to strangers.
โHey there handsome, need company?โ
Hyunjin looks to his left, where the sultry voice has originated from: a young womanโ a pretty one, too. Sheโs wearing the kind of tight, black dress and matching coy smile that can only mean she wants one thing. Luckily, Hyunjinโs on the same page as her.
โWhatโs your name, darling?โ Hyunjin asks her, ignoring the guilt inside his chest. That term of endearment was once reserved for you, and only you. Heโd have to get over the sting of that too.
She sits down next to him, tossing her hair over her shoulder and exposing the smooth skin of her neck. โLisa.โ
โLisa,โ Hyunjin repeats, signaling to the bartender for another round. โTell me, what do you do?โ
โIโm hoping itโll be you tonight.โ Lisa smirks at him, raising an eyebrow seductively.
Well. That was fast.
Hyunjin chuckles, trying not to think of the nausea rising in his stomach. He accepts the drink from the bartender, clinking his glass against Lisaโs, meeting her darkened eyes over the rim.
โIโm Hyunjin. Itโs nice to meet you.โ
You havenโt watched trashy Youtube videos in months, thinking youโd left that disgusting habit behind, and yet, here you are, watching said trashy Youtube videos. Today, itโs a shotgun wedding getting upstaged by one of the bridesmaids proclaiming her love for the groom. You feel an old chips packet somewhere inside the bedsheet hollow youโve burrowed yourself into, the crumbs poking into your back like unwanted intruders. However, you just try to ignore the nasty feeling and slump into the mattress, pulling the bedcovers up so they cover your chin.ย
Itโs been almost a full week since the matchmaking debacle that you absolutely made a spectacle of yourself at. Youโve spent the entire time drifting off to work, getting yelled at by Mark for no reason at all, and then coming home and lazing around. At this point, your gym membership must be a mere accessory, and the nearby 7-Eleven that you frequent for junk food is practically your second home. Fuckโ youโre disgusted with yourself.
Resorting to self-destructive yet containable activities has always been your go-to for whenever youโve been downโ youโll let yourself be fine with the world falling apart as long as itโs inside the confines of your humble abode. For months, however, youโd truly believed that you were past it. Hyunjinโs presence in your life inserted a certain desire inside of youโ not to be better for him, but to be better because of him. Hyunjin opened your eyes to the real beauty of living, of having passion for any trade and a lust for happiness. That kind of positive outlook kept you climbing up that hill, no matter how arduous it was to maintain good spirits for the majority of the time. But as soon as a crisis hit, you bailed on your trek and fell back down the cliff.
You feel truly guilty as well, an emotion that usually got lost in the web of pity and hatred that you spun yourself into whenever you know youโve done something wrong. Han Jisung didnโt deserve to be subjected to your outburst, you know thatโ that should have been reserved for the person who actually wronged you. You never actually got the chance to confront Park Jisung, not after he walked out like he didnโt just fucking break you. Deep inside, you know that you take out that inky mixture of unresolved frustration and regret on every single person who dares trigger you, even if itโs unintentional. Han Jisung was one such unfortunate target today.
A small chime alerts you to a new message, and you tear your eyes away from your laptop, reaching for your phone on your nightstand. In the notifications on your home screen, you see that it is not an email from Hyunjin like youโd unrealistically hoped forโ instead, itโs a text from Yeonjun, your cousin whoโs a constant thorn in your fucking side.
Yeonjun: hmm iโm thirsty :P
You: no yeonjun, i will not take you out for drinks.
Yeonjun: pretty pls w a cherry on top
You: fuck off
Yeonjun: u seem upset :(((
You: iโm having adult problems, yeonjun. leave me alone.
Yeonjun: well then i will help you with ur adult problems
Yeonjun: u know, iโm an adult too OMG
Yeonjun: come on, when have i ever not given u great advice?
Yeonjun: i missed my fucking calling in therapy. i woulda been an excellent shrink.
Yeonjun: iโm an amazing cousin who always is there for u. y/n i lysm, u know that?
Yeonjun: u know what else i love? Vodka.ย
Yeonjun: but i love u too <3
You: Yeonjun, stop fucking spamming me or Iโm not coming.
Yeonjun: YAYY!
With a defeated sigh, you shove the blankets to the side, the cold air conditioning gripping your body like a vice. But begrudgingly, you have to admit that it feels refreshing to get out of your sweaty hideout and step into the shower, cleaning yourself up as much as you can on the outsideโ the inside issue can be attended to with the drinks.
A half hour later, you find yourself in a skeevy dive bar on the Westside, doing shots with your cousin, because even though he irritates you to the core, heโs all you have. You really could use that drink, anyway. But no amount of alcohol seems to mask the way your heart hangs heavier than the full moon outside. In fact, the liquid courage just manifests your sadness even more, leaving you a sniveling mess on the bar counter.
โAnd, he was actually really cute, you know? But I could never date him,โ you sniffle, after downing your fifth drink. โItโs just, I just canโt deal with any reminders of Jisung.โ
Yeonjun knocks back his vodka. โI take it back. If therapy means dealing with saps like you, Iโd rather die.โ
You frown at him. โItโs better than being a failing TikTok influencer. Whenโs the last time any of your thirst traps got views?โ
Yeonjun shrugs, unbothered by your jab; heโs as used to you as you are to him. โYou couldโve at least hooked up with him, if he was that cute.โ
You swirl your straw in the melting ice as you get on your phone, pulling up the follow-up email in which Hyunjin had sent you online scans of the candidate profiles. Yeonjun looks over your shoulder and whistles as you zoom-in on Han Jisungโs picture. โBut Iโve only ever slept with Jisung before. I may be a scary bitch, but Iโm not bold enough for that.โ
โAt least youโre self-aware,โ Yeonjun cackles. โWell, itโs only a better reason to have a one-night stand. Do you really want to give your trash ex-boyfriend the power of being the only person to have had sex with you? Thatโs kind of sad.โย
Yeonjun makes a face, shivering in disgust, and you sock him in the elbow in retaliation. โFor someone so bitchless, you really have such strong opinions about me and my love life.โ
โWho says Iโm bitchless?โ Yeonjun grins deviously. โBesides, youโre the one who told me all this crap in the first place.โ
You glance up at the ceiling, feeling an indescribable sense of loss. โPerhaps I wouldnโt mind a one-night stand, though. I guess getting laid is something I kind of need right now. I need to stop letting Jisung control every aspect of my life.โ
โWell, if youโre not averted to the idea, a person of interest just walked in.โ
You whip around to look at the door, and of all people, Han Jisung from the matchmaking event walks in. He doesnโt notice you at the counter, just making his way over to one of the booths near the entrance and sitting down in solitude. The waiter takes his order and walks away, leaving him to put on his headphones in wait.
โI think I must be living in a social experiment.โ You groan and look over at Yeonjun. โHell if Iโm sleeping with him.โ
โDid you or did you not just say that you donโt want to let your ex control your life?โ
You stare at Yeonjun. โI can sleep with someone else. Heโs probably too scared of me anyway. I kind of verbally-knifed him the other day.โ
โPlease. Everything about that guy screams โdegrade me.โ He probably liked that shit. You might as well use him as a punching bag againโ this time, more productively.โ Yeonjun waggles his eyebrows at you suggestively, and you wrinkle your nose in distaste.
โThe fuck do you know about productivity?โ
โNada. But I do know a lot about getting a fix when needed.โ Your cousin winks at you, producing a packet of condoms out of nowhere and slapping it into your palm. Before you can react, Yeonjun is already slinking off to go and flirt with a pretty girl sitting by herself on the other end of the counter. And alas, youโre left alone again. With a packet of XL condomsโ Yeonjun sure is optimistic.
You glance over at said person of interest, who is currently immersed in whatever song thatโs got him bopping his head to the beat, eyes closed as if in a dreamy trance. Heโs not your type, for sure. But the thing is, you donโt even know what your damn type is at this pointโ if it wasnโt for Hyunjinโs ability to make you feel inappropriate things so vividly, youโd have thought you had fucking cobwebs down there. Speaking with Yeonjun really was a reminder that youโre still young, after years of both an emotional and physical dry spell. Emotionally, you might not be ready. Physically, however, thereโs an opening, and you know it.
When you were dating Park Jisung, sex was always initiated by him. It was always for himself too, because he never cared about making you feel good. But you didnโt see it as a red flag, since you were so in love with him. You just followed him around like an innocent, lovesick puppy that was eager to please. And in the end, even that wasnโt enough.
Your first orgasmโ and first experience with a deeper kind of desireโ was alone, some time after your relationship ended. It was a quiet night, and youโd just fallen back onto the couch after another long, uneventful day at work. You flipped through the TV channels before settling on a network that was playing The Notebook, and despite its fame and reach, youโd never watched the movie before. Everything was normal until the main characters started kissing each other in the rain, a scene that would remain something youโd download and revisit many, many times when you were locked away in your room.
Youโd never seen that level of lust before. Youโd never felt it directed towards you or ever even experienced it when you discovered porn in your teenage years. Yet, these two people seemed to want each other on a whole other level, risking everythingโ their home, their reputation, their loveโ for something youโd always thought would be over in two minutes. And as your hand undid the button of your jeans and slipped down even lower, you realized just how wrong you were.
In the years that followed, you learned to become so much more comfortable with your sexuality. Hell, you have a drawer dedicated to storing your sex toys and on nights that youโd had too many glasses of wine, you wind up writing filthy erotica just for fun. However, youโd never actually considered having sex outside of a committed relationship, not until now. And in complete honesty, you really are curious about if Han Jisung is as subby as Yeonjun insinuatedโ if that proves to be true, you wouldnโt mind taking your pent-up Jisung-frustrations out on him. Productivity, and all.ย
You slap your payment down on the wooden counter, shaking it slightly, before marching towards Han Jisungโs table.ย
โHey,โ you start, but Han Jisung doesnโt notice you. โHEY!โ
Han Jisungโs eyes fly open as he jerks in his seat and pulls off his headphones. At the sight of you approaching him so determinedly, he eyes you with both wariness and renewed interest, and you have to keep yourself from sighing exasperatedly at his hesitant desperation. Youโre here for a reason, after all.
โOh, hello. Y/N, right? I asked Hyunjin for your name after you left.โ He gives you a nervous smile, brushing the bangs off of his forehead. โI think we got off on the wrong foot. I just wanted to sayโโ
โIโll get to the point, Han Jisung.โ You cut him off, ignoring the surprised expression on his face. Itโs like heโs never in his life encountered a woman who knows what the hell she wants. โI want to have sex with you. What do you say?โ
For a good minute, he says nothing, just gaping at you, shocked. And then he does a double-take, looking you up and down as if checking to see if youโre real.ย
โIs this a ploy to kidnap me and steal my organs, or something? Because when I last saw you, I got the impression that you severely disliked me.โ
โNo, Iโm not going to steal your organs. The truth is complicated,โ you scoff. โBut youโre hot, and Iโm over everything else, at least for tonight. Are you up for it?โย
You stare Han Jisung down, making him shift in his seat. He scratches his nose and blinks at you like a trembling mouse. โIโฆ wait. You think Iโm hot?โ
What an idiot. Good thing heโs pretty.
โIs that a yes?โ
โFuck yes.โ
With no warning at all, you grasp his hand, pulling him out of the booth while he scrambles to grab his belongings and shove them into his pockets. You feel his gaze on the back of your neck as you drag him through the bar, walking with your chin pointed up with purpose. You wind your way between the tables expertly, but this Jisung stumbles, making you glare at him over your shoulder.
โWatch your step,โ you snap.
โSorry,โ he mutters, looking down at the floor as you barge into the bathroom in the back of the building, tugging him inside with you. โWait, are we not going to your place, orโโ
โStop asking so many fucking questions, Han Jisung.โ You slam the door behind you both and click the metal latch in place, leaving you both locked in the tiny room. It isnโt so cramped that there isnโt any space for movement, but itโs small enough to force you both into facing each other in a charged silence.
You eye Jisung from head to toe, taking in his baggy t-shirt and ripped jeans. He clears his throat, making you raise an eyebrow at him. โSo, um, do you really have to call me by full name? Donโt you think thatโs a little formal, considering whatโs about to happen?โ
You roll your eyes, your mind going back to the other Jisung you know. Neverโ there must be something to differentiate the two. You take an intimidatingly emphasized step towards him, backing him up against the wall. โNo. I donโt think thatโs too formal, Han Jisung.โ
โButโโ
โShut the fuck up.โ You trace your eyes down his body once more, gaze landing on the noticeable bulge in his pants. Bless Yeonjunโ how right he was, for once. You look up, giving Jisung a mean smile. โAre you actually getting turned on right now?โ
โUh, wowโโ He squeaks, as you reach your hand out and place it on his warm thigh, tracing it up his limb at a painful pace both dedicated to your desire to tease and be cautious.
โI asked you a fucking question.โ You retract your hand right before it reaches its destination, glowering at him. โAnswer me.โ
โJust, um. Iโฆโ Jisung stammers, closing his eyes before opening them again, as if preparing himself. The honeyed tone of his skin exposes a light blush and therefore, his answer. โRuin me, please.โ
Thatโs all the permission you need before youโre placing your hands on Jisungโs surprisingly toned shoulders, roughly turning him around and swapping places with him, so that now youโre the one with their back to the wall.ย
โHan Jisungโฆโ You speak slowly, punctuating your words with the kind of loathing that has Jisung panting like a dog waiting for a treat, eyes wide with anticipation tinged with delicious fear. โIf youโre a good boy and do as youโre told, Iโll see about giving you a reward.โ
โOh my god.โ
โTake off your clothes.โย
Jisung nearly trips over his own two feet trying to wrestle the suddenly irksome swaths of fabric off of his body, tossing the garments onto the gross bathroom floor like he doesnโt give a fuck about getting a staph infection later. When heโs fully stripped, you trace your eyes over him in your own leisure, reveling in the way he shivers when you do. Your gaze washes over his defined abs, dipping even lower until you reach his hardened cock, flushed a pretty pink and glazed with pre-comeโ the condoms would come in very handy, after all.
Seeing him bared to you and your mercy rouses you up like you never thought it would; you never thought that feeling wanted yet being in control would work you up so much, but it does, and you love it beyond reason.ย
โYouโre really something else. Getting off on me being so mean to you.โ With a sadistic smirk, you cross your arms. โI bet you thought about me even after I ditched your ass at the party, didnโt you?โ
โIโ I did,โ he admits, with a nervous giggle. โYouโre so fucking hot, I just couldnโt help it. Seriously. Iโm sorry ifโ mmph.โ
You interrupt his rambling by winding your hand into his soft hair and forcing him closer to you, meeting his soft lips in a harsh kiss, one that has him moaning shamelessly into your mouth. You kiss him deeply, like you want to punish him for it, like you want to both hurt him and make him beg for more. Jisungโs lips are small but full, moving against yours in a sloppy yet heated exchange, fighting for more in an unwinnable battle; he tastes like brandy, strawberries, and the promises of a good time, and youโre drunk on it.
โYouโre disgusting, Han Jisung,โ you spit out, prompting a whimper from Jisung. โGet on your fucking knees.โ
He wastes no time dropping to his knees and letting you lead the way, fully submitting to your tantric commands. Quickly, you clutch at his hands and direct them to where they should be, tilting your head back against the wall as Jisung satisfies your wishes. With an eagerness that doesnโt even compare to your own, Jisung loosens the knot on the elastic band of your skirt, not bothering to untie it fully before heโs tugging the skirt up so that itโs bunched around your waist.ย
And without you even demanding him to move faster, heโs pushing your panties aside and attaching his greedy mouth to your cunt. You nearly jerk away at the overwhelming sensation of pleasure; your ex-boyfriend never went down on you, and oh, how profoundly youโve missed out. But youโve researched enough to know exactly what you want.
Jisungโs eyes flick up to where youโre looking down and showering him with breathy sighs, spurring on his performance. When you shoot him a warning glare, he goes back to completely making-out with your cunt, easily spreading you apart with two of his fingers so he can focus on your throbbing clit. Jisung uses his other hand to squeeze your thigh gently, rubbing circles into the smooth skin as he works.
He delves deeper into your pussy when you run your hands through his silky hair, lapping at your arousal like itโs honey and heโs been starving for days. โYou taste so goodโฆโ
Immediately, you yank back his hair and hold him in place as you start to grind onto his pretty face. โI donโt remember saying you could fucking talk.โ
Jisung groans, taking every insult you hurl at him in such a measured but unbridled way. He makes up for his lack in precision with his enthusiasm, suctioning his mouth around your tender clit and swirling his tongue in patterns that have gotten you seeing the fucking stars. He lets you use him entirely, body going slack as he helps you ride out your high. The obscene sounds of Jisung slurping at your cunt fill the room as you come, gripping his head between your thighs as you feel that beautiful wave of euphoria fall over you. You pat Jisungโs shoulder in silent instruction, and he rises, cupping the sides of your arms and running his hands down them gently, soothing the way you quiver at any touch.ย
โAre you okay?โ Jisung whispers, making you open your eyes in surprise. Your ex-boyfriend never once checked up on you, not even when you were clearly in discomfort that first time he made you his own. This complete stranger however, one that you have been anything but gracious with, inspects your face with concern. A strange feeling of warmth spreads throughout your body as you nod your head.
โIโm good. You did well.โ You grasp the bottom of your top, pulling it over your head so that all youโre standing in now are your skirt and basically ruined panties. You didnโt bother with putting on a bra before you left the house, and now, youโre thankful for the decision that was ultimately a byproduct of your laziness; Jisung gazes at your body with utter reverence, like just the sight of your tits has blessed his entire life.
โPleaseโฆโ
โPlease what, Han Jisung?โ You bite your lip, both amused and flattered by how desperate he is for your pussy. โUse your words.โ
โFuck me. Please, fuck me. Iโve been good, havenโt I?โ Jisung whines sadly, clearly on the verge of tears. His cock is now rock-hard, flush against his stomach, and it turns you on so much to know that eating you out has reduced him to such a pathetic mess.ย
โYes, you haveโฆโ you murmur, before jutting out your hand to hold his chin tightly. โSpit.โ
Without a single protest, he obeys, a single string of saliva connecting his lips to your hand, before youโre reaching down and palming his cock. He lets out a gasp as you wrap your fingers around the base, spreading the dampness and pumping a few times for good measure, as if the mixture of his spit and your own arousal coating your pussy isnโt lubrication enough.ย
You take the condoms out and help Jisung slide one onto his cock, chuckling when he places his hand over yours to help quicken the process. And then youโre finally guiding him into your entrance, circling one leg around his body and caging him into your fantasies.ย
โFuckโโ
Jisung enters you as you both collectively moan out loud, him at how tightly your cunt clenches around him and you at how wonderfully his dick curves into you, hitting your sweet spot inside each time. Jisung cups your face as he kisses you again, but this time, itโs slower and more drawn-out, a vast juxtaposition to how rigorously he thrusts into you. You drag your nails down his back in a way thatโs sure to leave marks for days to come, but he just increases his pace on your aching pussy, lost in pleasure.ย
You grip Jisungโs ass and squeeze at the flesh, eliciting a throaty groan from him as your sweat combined creates a sticky layer between your bodies. Your breasts are pressed against Jisungโs chest, and he ducks his head to attend to them, licking and sucking at your sensitive nipples. The heightened attention goes straight to your sweet pussy, making you buck your hips as you hold him even tighter.ย
โOh godโ Iโm fuckingโ Iโm gonna comeโโ Jisung chokes out, his movements now erratic and even more rushed, if possible.
โNot yet.โ You just laugh cruelly, shaking your head. โYouโre going to wait. Iโm first.โ
โIโ I donโt think I canโโ
โSuck it up like the little bitch you are, and make me come again,โ you snarl, digging your nails into the arch of his ass.
He cries out, and for a brief lapse in time, you think he will not be able to outlast you, but then he slides his hand down, rubbing frantic circles onto your clit. The attempt to get you off a second time works, and the orgasm washes over you like a cool breeze in the summertime. You canโt help what escapes you next.
โHYUNJIN!โ
โDid you justโโ
You clench your jaw and give Jisung a menacing look, warning him of a topic that should not be broached under any circumstances. Luckily, your harsh expression just seems to spur Jisung on even more, and he follows you into ecstasy not long after, squirming in your hold. When he finally finishes, hot spurts of him coat your pussy and trembling thighs.
For a moment, Jisung slumps against you limply, and you let him, enjoying that blanket of heat and protection against your exposed skin, another gift youโve never been given before. But then you remember thatโs all he is to youโ a body that has warmed you up for one night. You donโt feel guilty though, because you never did offer more than you could actually give.ย
You pat Jisungโs back, prompting him to draw back and give you a fucked-smile. His bangs are plastered against his forehead in a sweaty mess, and his skin is tinged pink from his great efforts to please you. Itโs a sight that youโll be tucking away in your memories for any future lonely nights.ย
After putting your blouse back on, you walk over to the sink as Jisung just stays leaning against the wall. Wetting a paper towel with some water, you run it between your thighs and clean up the remnants of Jisungโs come smeared there. And then you pull your skirt down and help Jisung, because no matter how you donโt see him as more than a fling, he is still significant to you. Heโs the first person to make you come and show you that physical care that youโve been craving for so long, and that amounts to something. Besides, youโd never just toss someone aside after using them so intimately, not like your ex did with you.
You get a fresh towel for Jisung, placing it against his forehead to cool his heated skin while assisting him in putting his clothes back on. When you both are completely dressed, you place a chaste kiss on Jisungโs lips and give him a small smile, before turning for the door.
โIโll be on my way now, Han Jisung.โ
Jisung leaps forward quickly, grabbing your head before it can reach the doorknob. โHey, I know you said this was just a one-night, but canโt we maybe get dinner or something?โ
โJisung.โ The plain name is still sour on your tongue, but you swallow it down. โWe arenโt going to work. This isnโt going to happen again.โ
โWait. Are you just, like, crazy edging me right now?โ
Shaking your head, you let out a tired laugh. โNo, Iโm not. Look, I think youโre a really nice guy. Iโm sorry for how I treated you at the party last week. You definitely didnโt deserve that, and I definitely still need to resolve my own issues. Iโm sure thereโs some other sexy lady out there just waiting to dom your pretty face off. You deserve better than me.โ
You leave Jisung speechless, finally getting out of the bathroom. You have a very important meeting tomorrow, one that you absolutely cannot miss. Besides, he really does deserve better than you, someone who definitely doesnโt make his whole life an enigma. Someone who doesnโt have the same impact on him as Hyunjin does on you.ย
And in your post-coital clarity, you also finally accept that there will be no compromising with your feelings for Hyunjin. Youโre falling in love with him, so much that even when another man is balls-deep in you, heโs all you can think of. Itโs so profound that it hurts, the thought of never being able to fuck him into oblivion like you just did with Han Jisung. You can never have those nights with him in dirty bathrooms, or the ones tangled up in bedsheets for hours at an end. Late night conversations about the banalities of life and playful interviews about where he buys his amazing clothing will never be yours. Youโre playing a dangerous game, ignoring your feelings like theyโre a hazy insect that will eventually buzz away. Because you know they wonโt. Theyโll come back to sting you.
As you beeline for the bar exit, you run straight into Yeonjun, who seems to have been waiting for you all along. And by the looks of the Cheshire grin on his face, he knows exactly what youโve been up to.
โI knew his dick was big.โ
โDonโt. You. Dare.โ
โSoโฆ want to talk about last week?โ
โThereโs not much to talk about.โ You shrug, toying with the hem of your dress. Itโs green, a new look from the various shades of pinks that you donned whenever visiting Hyunjin. The change doesnโt feel refreshingโ really, itโs restricting and strange, somehow. Like it doesnโt belong on you.
Hyunjin sighs, getting up from his fancy chair to sit down next to you. So understanding, so caring, so gentle. Everything you donโt deserve and that you will never have. โDarling, please. Open up to me.โ
You snap, looking at him directly. โI had sex with Han Jisung.โ
Closing your eyes, you lift your up palm, effectively silencing whatever you know that Hyunjin was about to say. You take a deep breath, bracing yourself. You have to mend the cracks before you break completely. Again. Itโs now or never, no matter how much it will hurt you to do so.
โAnd I think we should stop seeing each other.โ
ยซNEXT CHAPTERยป ยท ยซGENERAL M.LISTยปย ยทย ยซNAVIGATIONยปย ยทย ยซTALK TO MEยป ยท ยซTAGLISTยป
AUTHOR'S NOTE
Here she is!! We're 2/5 of the way there ๐ช Thank you for all of the love for this series! And again, I apologize for the atrocious wait-time. Please leave your thoughts, I donโt really mind if you leave a whole essay ;)
-Dreamy
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ยฉjisungsdaydreamer 2023 | All rights reserved. I do not condone translations or transfers of my work onto other platforms such as Wattpad, AO3, etc. Tumblr is my only platform. Acts of plagiarism are strictly prohibited.
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Disavowed - pt. 2
[5.5k Words/20min. Read -ย Priest!Chrisย x Readerย - NSFW/Smutย - Church, Your Mind is Playing Tricks on You, Confrontations, Something Feels Off, Catholic Guilt, Priest Kink, Semi-Public Sex, Truck Sex, I Swear This is a Halloween Series]
[a/n: finally time to get halloween cranked up to speed ๐ ty to @magicficwriting and @therhythmafterthesummer for beta reading ๐]
[Part 1 | Come Say Hi!]
It felt forbidden to be in a room full of people and be the only one to know that Christopher, Father Bang, was a disgusting hypocrite.ย
The day of your realization had been Sunday, obviously. It was now Thursday, after school, and you were all crowded into the modest boardroom next door to the faculty lounge of Pinewood Falls Prep. The walls were probably supposed to be white, if it werenโt for decades of wear and cigarette smoke. Even if the smell didnโt persist, the resulting hue of curdled cream lingered.
โSo that settles it. It is generous of you to step up, dearโฆ Dear?โ
An elbow gently dug into your own at the conference table. You were so distracted.ย
Your gaze swung to your side to identify who just nudged you, when you recalled that Jisung was the one who so politely saved you a seat. Reverend Han, you had learned, was the other young man that helped Father James serve mass alongside Chris.
That creep.
Chris, that is. Not Jisungโฆ although you had to admit that you werenโt exactly in love with how polite the deacon was.ย
โDearโฆ?โ
You finally snapped out of your brooding then, finding Sister Judith rolling her eyes at the front of the room.
โPoor lamb must be sleeping with her eyes open,โ Father James chuckled. To your chagrin, Chris laughed along. You wanted to shout it out at the whole room right then, just what a liar and a fraud the deceptively handsome priest was.
โI was saying,โ Sister Judith reiterated, โthat I know thereโs a litany of work left in the wake of Jacquelineโs sudden departure, but that itโs generous of you to volunteer and step up to take it on, dear.โ
โI didโฆ?โ you murmured out loud, stricken with disbelief. Jisung patiently nodded to confirm it for you.
To say that Sister Judithโs assistant left suddenly was an understatement. When you arrived at work early on Monday morning, her desk behind yours, in front of the Sisterโs office, was empty. Every notepad, pen, and paperclip was gone, as if no one had ever occupied the space in the first place. Sister Judith wouldnโt tell you why Jacqueline left, but you supposed it was none of your business. At the beginning of todayโs meeting, Father James had simply said it was a shame, but you were surprised that no one at all seemed to particularly care that the young woman had vanished so abruptly.
โYou wonโt take on everything, of course,โ Sister Judith clarified. โYouโll be taking care of Jacquelineโs filing duties and backing up the receptionist when Roberta is unavailable. Thatโs all.โ
โWhat about the lunchtime study group in the library?โ Jisung suddenly asked. โJacqueline was running it.โ
โYou can take that on if you have the time, Reverend,โ suggested Sister Judith.
Jisung slouched back in his chair, as though he suddenly regretted saying anything in the first place. โOh, uh,โ he scrambled shyly, โthatโs no problem, I guess. I just donโt know if the kids will take a liking to meโโ
โNot like Christopher, you mean,โ Father James laughed heartily, clapping a hand on the priestโs shoulder. โThey practically flock to him.โ
Chris humbly waved him off. โI hardly have anything worthwhile to teach; itโs just gym,โ he denied. โI make myself available; thatโs all. You have plenty to teach! Make yourself available, Jisung, and theyโll flock to you, too.โ
The staff all but fawned over the platitude. Your penโs barrel creaked in your hand, you were so close to snapping it in half. That pretty boy golden child had everyone wrapped around his little finger and it made you livid.
You left the staff meeting in a daze, trying to figure out why on Earth Chris refused to acknowledge you with any ounce of recognition. The whole ordeal felt like he was taunting you, and it was on the verge of working. There was no way it wasnโt him that youโd slept with. You remembered far too much of the whole night.
Maybe it was because your pride was admittedly hurt. You werenโt typically one for one-night stands like the one you were positive you engaged in, but the idea had intrigued you enough to want it. Now it just felt like you were being punished, some cosmic joke at your expense because you acted on your desires for once and now you couldnโt get it out of your head.
Indeed, even though youโd gone to your interview and mass with only an inkling of what exactly had transpired on Friday night, that fuzzy recollection had since turned high definition and was currently blasting at full volume in a maddening loop in your head. You had tried a divey little bar in Briar Bay, only a thirty minute drive away. There were no bars in Pinewood Falls from what you could tell, so the short trip seemed worth it. The bar had been a dank hole in the wall, a cozy hangout popular with the boat crews and mussel farmers that worked the bay. Youโd noticed Chris before he ever saw you. He wasnโt wearing his clerical collar that night, obviously. Instead, you were drawn to this man sitting alone at a table in the corner, with the brim of his baseball cap pulled low over his eyes. You had left him alone and minded your own business at the barโฆ
Until a beer appeared in front of you before you could even start a tab. The bartender pointed at the sender.
Right at Chris.
Here, now, today, you were feeling self-conscious and self-righteous all at once while you grabbed your bag from where youโd stowed it in your desk, back in the main office. It had been a long day of school, and the weekly staff meeting made this one feel even longer. Chris had shared one single flash of recognition with you at mass on Sunday, but never again in the days since. He had to be too ashamed, you were positive. Grouchy was an understatement for how you were feeling. You were on edge. All week, you strained to make pointed eye contact with this man, see if you could catch him replicating that explicitly guilty glint in his eye that he had during church, and he was staunchly refusing.
Even over dinner, you drifted, like a wraith, into the dining room of the boarding house and barely paid attention to your perfectly charming and sweet housemates. Seungmin and one of your fellow boarders, Felix, had worked so hard on making a gorgeous dinner, but you were so plainly pissed to the point that you couldnโt properly taste food. The worst part, honestly, was that you werenโt solely thinking of outing this disgusting man.
You were plagued by how much you couldnโt stop thinking of your night together. Not only were you burdened with this miserable secret, but you were the only one who knew what this man looked like under his clothes, the way he acted in bed. He was horrendously attractive. He was regretfully skilled. Those juvenile little hickeys he left all over you took days to vanish. In fact, most of them finally faded just the previous morningโsomething youโd never experienced before. The longest a love bite had ever stuck around on your skin was maybe three, four days, but five felt like a ridiculously long time. It was only adding to the way you couldnโt get the picture of Chrisโ bare chest or carved hips out of your head, couldnโt shake the feeling of his soft lips or his rough stubble.ย
One stupid hickey remainedโangry and red and framed with teeth marksโright between your cleavage. More like a bite than anything.
This was going on far too long.ย
It was Friday. Your housemates probably thought you were sick in the head. Theyโd been so cordial and polite, trying as much as they reasonably could to get you to open up and share a little, maybe unload some of the burden you were clearly carrying. The previous week, before youโd ever slept with Chris by accident, you were gladly chatting and helping with housework, staying up late to wash dishes with the boys and sip iced tea on the porch, wrapped up in sweaters when the breeze picked up.
You almost felt ill. More than the guilt, more than the shame, more than the way you were convinced everyone knew you were complicit in Father Chrisโ sin, you hated that you wanted to be right. The way he ignored you was too practiced, too aloof. What hurt more than him not showing any guilt was him not even showing any hint of knowing you existed in any capacity outside of school. You tried like hell to keep your head down, get your work done, try to confront the pile of Jacquelineโs filing left unfinished.
It was the damned filing that did you in, ultimately. An approved stack of staff schedules now sat at the top of the pile, unearthed after you made some progress in your fastidious sorting and storing. Fr. Bang, Christopher was staring right at you, begging you to glance at the piece of paper. Planning: 2nd Period.
You wished you would move on and let it go, but you peeked at the clock on the wall. It was almost a quarter after 9 oโclock. There was plenty of time.ย
You would do it.
No, you wouldnโt. You would work through the mountain of filing.
Yes, you would. You would confront this asshole once and for all and get him to admit that he recognized you, that he was disgusting and immoral.
The hallway was crushingly empty as you walked to the gym. Your shoes clicked loud on the aged linoleum floor. It was disarming, being this hyper-aware and critical of your own actions. Something resembling embarrassment clung to you like static.
Why were you so obsessed with doing this?
Walking into the gym, you almost chickened out when you found it empty, even though that was the entire point of catching him during his planning period in the first place. You scanned the basketball court and the stands extended from the wall, finding no sign of life and abashedly turning right back around to leave.
โWait, Iโm here!โ rang out a voice behind you. โCan I help you with something?โ
You warily turned back to face the voice, finding it to belong to no other than Father Chris.ย
He smiled softly, kindly attempting to keep you from running off. โThatโs right,โ he nodded with recollection. Your gut twisted. โYouโre the new office manager, right?โ
That was it. This was your breaking point. โYouโre kidding, right?โ you scoffed. Chrisโ eyes widened in bewilderment.
โIโmโฆ what?โ he asked. โAre you alright, dear?โ He stepped closer, and flinched when you smacked away his outstretched hand.
โThatโs rich!โ you cackled. โHow long are you going to keep lying? How long until you stop pretending you don't know me?โ
Chris shook his head in confusion. โIโm sorry, dear,โ he said. โWhat are you telling me? Iโm afraid I donโt understandโโ
โSeriously?!โ you balked. โYouโre going to act like weโve never met?!โ
โWe met before?โ the priest blinked at you, maybe even a little bashful. Flattered, even. โMaybe in a dream, but I donโt think so.โ
You huffed so hard, so affronted by the response, that it couldโve been mistaken for smoke spilling out of you. โThat is some nerve you have, assholeโโ
โHey,โ Chris said sternly. โCalm down.โ
And you did. God, you hated that you did. Worse yet, you werenโt even sure why you calmed down at all. The energy from your outburst was simply sapped out of you in its entirety.
โDo you want to talk?โ Father Chris offered. โIt seems you have a lot on your mind.โ
Unsure what else to do, you indignantly folded your arms. โFine. Yes. Iโd like to talk.โ
He nodded seriously. โOkay, Iโll be more than glad to. I have a meeting about a baptism here in ten minutes, but how about tonight? Somewhere we can have some privacy.โ
โOh? And whereโs that?โ you impatiently asked. If he suggested the Trawler, youโd scream right there and then.
โI live in Briar Bay for a couple more weeks,โ he explained. As if you didnโt already know this. As if he didnโt tell you on Friday night. โHow about Reflections? Itโs a nice little cafe I like.โ
You shifted your weight from one foot to the other, unsure. All the energy you originally had to pursue this issue was gone, vanished and leaving a vacuum in its wake that made it difficult to proceed. However, the idea of getting that confession was still too sweet.
โFine,โ you agreed, almost defiant, like you werenโt giving him exactly what he wanted. โOkay.โ
โโถโถโถโถโถโโทโทโทโทโทโ
Not okay.ย
The worst part of Briar Bay being a โshortโ 30-minute drive away meant that every five minutes, you were wondering what the hell you were hoping to achieve. What, Chris would admit what he did and you would be satisfied? You would simply leave? Were you going to turn him in and humiliate him, really punish him for being so terrible? What exactly did you want here?
And still you were thinking about how gorgeous he was in bed. This still weirded you out. You explicitly recalled hardly being able to remember anything during your interview with Sister Judith earlier that week, but days later and now you could perfectly recall the cute way he scrunched his eyes shut when he climaxed? That queasy feeling settled in your gut again. By the time you turned off the small highway into Briar Bay, you almost felt feverish. Nauseous and everything. You were nervous trying to pick out each business. The Trawler passed by on your left down the main road, but finally you caught it. Reflections was apparently a sweet little coffee shop at the end of the main street, the last business next to the main route down to the bay. And out front, sipping from a paper cup in a cardboard sleeve on the patio?ย
Father Chris had the audacity to be the picture of serenity. His shitty powder blue truck was parked out front. He was dressed in a casual pair of jeans and a sweater. A ball cap was pushed low over his brow, just like the week before.ย
Fucking creep.
You nervously pinched at the hem of your top. In a move of pure desperation to hold any power you had left, you put on the exact outfit youโd been wearing Friday night last week. A crop top of reasonable length, a belted pair of cute jeans, some casual sneakers, and a cardigan because it was getting a bit chilly out. You werenโt totally sure what you were looking to get here, but maybe this would be the element that finally got that look of recollection you were so hungry for.
As you shouldโve predicted, he wasnโt even outwardly excited to see you when you approached. Just a glance and a soft smile before he motioned to the chair across from him. You stiffly took a seat, when Chris pointed out toward the cliffs looking over the bay, up the hill from the cafe. โSo youโre new, right? You just moved to town?โ
He waited patiently until you silently nodded before continuing. โThatโs Barrett Bluffs. There used to be a church there until it burnt down a hundred years ago. I just noticed that thereโs actually a square patch of dirt up there. Maybe it really did burn down, except the story is it spontaneously combusted. The local kids used to dare each other to look over the edge.โ
โWhy?โ you asked, attempting to remain nonplussed.ย
Chris laughed into his drink. โI guess thereโs a cave on the cliff face or something. The local legend is that a vengeful spirit lives in it. I dunno. Kids are wild.โ
โYeah,โ you nodded, distant while your gaze was still fixed on the square patch of earth at the top of the bluff. โTheyโre pretty imaginative.โ
โWhatโd you want to talk about?โ he suddenly asked. You snapped out of it.
โI just donโt understand why youโre pretending you donโt remember me,โ you simply stated.
Chris shrugged helplessly. โBecause I donโt? Would you like me to get you something? Their chai here is delicious.โ
You felt like your face was about to crack into a thousand tiny pieces. Every single option ran through your mind at once, tripping over each other. Really, you could argue this some more, or just leave it aloneโฆ but you did neither of these things. Instead, you got out of your chair and simply walked back up the street. Chris hopped to his feet and jogged after you, finishing his drink in the process and tossing it in a garbage can.
โWhere are you going?!โ he frantically asked you.
He followed you all the way to the Trawler, where the bartender waved hello to you, driving you even more mad than you already were. You grabbed Chris by the elbow and practically threw him into the chair in the back corner. He watched, bewildered, as you pointed at the bar.
โI was there,โ you heatedly explained, โyou were here. You bought me a drink and I came over to sit down. You said you liked my perfume and I said I liked your cologne, and we had a great time, and you kissed me in the back parking lot out there in front of your truck before you offered to give me a ride back to your place!โ
How you remembered all these finer, non-explicit details, you had no idea, but they were all clear as day all of a sudden. Chris, meanwhile, was beet red in the face.ย
โUh, er,โ he floundered.ย
And there it was.
That tiny, miniscule little flex of muscles in his face, his eyes widening a millimeter.
A fucking confession of guilt if you ever saw one, you were convinced.
Was this what it was like to go crazy?
Except he doubled down. Chris squared his shoulders and smiled that same humble smile. โIโm sorry,โ he apologized. โI really have no clue what youโre talking about. But for what itโs worth, Iโm having a nice time. You pretty much tricked me into a date. Smart play, too, since itโs the only way I can enjoy one.โ
One final option lay in front of you, one you were finally angry enough to use it. You bluntly yanked the neckline of your blouse down, exposing that one last hickey, the one that looked more like you were attacked by some animal. Chrisโ eyebrows raised in surprise, his focus darting to where the mark was and away.ย
โStill insisting Iโm crazy? You're a real piece of work, Father,โ you scowled. โHope you're pleased with what you got.โ
You let go of your top, grabbed your bag, and stormed out of the bar through the back door, the nearest entrance and into the small parking lot there just so you could get some fresh air. An uncomfortable heat surged up your back and radiated through your chest like a fever. You were nearly on the verge of furious tears. Squeezing between two pickups, you were so distracted that the rearview mirror of one of the vehicles smacked your shoulder. Fuck Chris. You would turn him in, maybe even before mass on Sundayโ
Rushed footfalls on the gravel of the parking lot startled you, and you turned with only enough time to gasp when you found Chris there, his hands already cupping your face and pulling you in for a heated kiss. You barely had time to register all of this between the priest panting hot, desperate in your mouth, his cologne and aftershave making your olfactory senses tingle. His lips were still so soft. And then you remembered that this was disgusting.
The force of your slap against Chrisโ cheek was more of a shove, getting him the hell off of you. You found yourself leaning back against the bumper of the truck youโd squeezed past, still holding your hand out to keep him back.ย
Chris massaged his cheek and jaw where youโd hit him. He was still panting. โI hate this,โ he said with a firm shake of his head. He wasnโt even looking at you. โI hate this so fucking much.โ
The cursing wouldโve surprised you if you werenโt already plagued with memories of him cursing over and over again the previous week.
โWhat?โ you rhetorically asked. โWhat do you hate, exactly? I thought you didnโt know what Iโm talking about.โ
โWould you knock it off?โ Chris snapped at you. You leaned back against the bumper of the truck, as much as the metal surface would allow. โWe both know Iโm fucking lying, Iโm lying through my goddamn teeth!โ he brokenly ranted. โBut what I want to know is how the hell do you remember so much?!โ
โAm I not supposed to?โ you asked, uneasy.
Father Chris shook his head again. โNo, because I barely remember anything. All I know isโฆ isโโ
โWhat?โ you prodded. You stood up straight and took a tentative step closer. โWhat is it?โ
โI want you, and I fucking hate it,โ he spat. โI shouldnโt be tested like this. I donโt deserve this! Iโm stronger than this.โ
These were more admissions than you were even hoping to achieve. Yes, Chris remembered sleeping together. Yes, Chris was disgusting and immoral, and wanted more.
You didnโt feel triumphant. You didnโt feel victorious.
You felt smug. A craving erupted inside you, swallowing you whole.
You wanted to punish him. You wanted him to live in that fraught feeling of deplorable desire.
โAre you?โ you questioned him. A smirk pulled at the corner of your mouth. โAre you stronger than that?โ
Chris glared at you, brows furrowed as he digested the fact that you were blatantly mocking him now. It was difficult to assess his next move, but you didnโt have to wait long for another hint, because he simply took that option away and flatly answered you. Chris reached for you again, grabbing at your sleeve and pulling you close so he could kiss you again.
And this time, you let him.
When you werenโt almost gagging on his tongue in your throat, you adored how pissed he looked just kissing you. By now, you were dealing with his hands, too, desperately grabbing and squeezing you. He even began kissing your neck, his teeth grazing over your skin and nipping at you until you pushed him off again. You both caught your breath for a moment, but Chris nonetheless grabbed at your hips again.
โIโm not letting you mark me up again,โ you scolded him.
He nodded obediently, despite already kissing your neck some more. โSorry,โ he panted against you, โI just, I need moreโ Weโll get in my truck, okay? Andโโ
โWhat,โ you grinned, taking a chance to softly place intermittent kisses of your own on his throat. โYou going to be a coward and hide me away at your place again?โ From this vantage point, you could see he was wearing a small, golden crucifix just under his sweater. Cute.ย
โDonโt want to?โ he asked, fumbling in his pockets while he let you kiss him. โThatโs fine, itโs dark enough, just in the truck is fineโโ
You raised an eyebrow in questioning. โBut you parked back at theโโ
โWhat? No,โ he interrupted. โItโs right here; come on.โ
That made no sense. Chrisโ wreck of a truck was back at Reflectionsโ
But the metallic clatter of a keyring stopped your line of thinking in its tracks. Chris backed you up to the passenger side door and unlocked it before he scooped his hands under your ass, eagerly hoisting you up onto the bench seat. He was already working your belt until you grabbed the collar of his sweater and pulled him into the truck with you. You refused to let him lead here. If he was questioning his fortitude, youโd make it exponentially worse.ย
Chris wrestled with you a bit to get comfortable in the cab of his truck, ending up sitting in the passenger seat with you straddling his lap. He was incredibly hard between your legs. When you worked your hips down against his, the friction drew the deepest, most regretful moans out of him that youโd ever heard. His strong hands clutched at your hips until you finally unbuckled your belt yourself. He leapt at the opportunity, still kissing your lips, your jaw, your neck, but now his starving touch drifted down from where itโd moved to your breast, down to slip under your panties and between your legs. You gasped and sighed in pleasure, his long fingers rubbing your sensitive clit before dipping into your wetness.ย
โFuck,โ Chris gruffly cursed again, โyou feel so good.โ
โYou still hate it?โ you teased, almost laughing when he nodded pathetically.
โYouโre so bad for me,โ he whined. โI just want more.โ
You almost felt bad for him.
Almost.
Chris watched in the dim of his truck, only illuminated by a couple security lights behind the old bar as you knelt up so you could shimmy your jeans down, and off one leg. You sat back down on his lap, your damp heat resting back against him but going no further. He looked up at you expectantly.
โWell?โ you grinned. โGo on. Make your decision.โ
A hesitance sank in between both of you while he considered this, his eyes glazed over and shining. You didnโt blame him. Truth be told, you were surprised with yourself, too. You werenโt typically one for such intensity, but there was something about holding this much control that you were getting satisfaction from in an unexpected way. You scolded yourself for a moment for coming on too strong.
Until Chris warily removed his hat and lifted his sweater off along with his undershirt, revealing his crucifix sitting on his bare collarbones. He set these on the driver seat beside you both, before his hands now wavered at his belt buckle. Father Chris quietly sucked in a breath, as if it were a long, drawn out gasp, astounded at his own actions when he unbuckled his belt and opened his jeans. You could feel the velvety, smooth head of his erection up against you. He paused again.
You pressed your lips to his temple, a tender little reprieve in the middle of this regrettable tryst. โDid you make your decision?โ
Chris could be felt nodding before his hands pushed your hips down against his own. You both groaned then, his gorgeous cock slowly stretching you around him. He sucked a breath in between his teeth. โFuck, baby,โ he gritted out. โFeel how youโre opening up for me, itโs so goddamn goodโโ
You loved the way blasphemy sounded coming from him while you adjusted to him inside you, enough that you immediately took over and began riding him, never giving him a chance to suggest it or try taking the lead. Again, if he was going to decide to be immoral, you were going to really throw that into perspective.ย
Chris cried out loud in pleasure when you dropped your hips down onto him and began working his erection into your depths, trying to search out that good angle while the priest was lost in the moment. He was so fucking hot like this, whimpering under you while his thrusts met yours, with no one to blame but himself by this point.
Right?
There was one second where you began to doubt yourself, maybe wondering if you were taking this too far, but Chris interrupted you. Even though you were hellbent on not letting him take control, you couldnโt bring yourself to resist when he grabbed onto your thighs and helped you grind into him instead of riding him, helping you climb that high you were chasing. Worse yet, he pulled down the neckline of your blouse like youโd brazenly done back at the bar, except he went further by pulling your breast to his mouth. His tongue lewdly ran over the bite mark you never managed to get rid of, but he kept his teeth off of you, opting instead to wrap his lips around your hardened nipple, overstimulating you just long enough to coax an orgasm out of you. It hit you hard and suddenly, a sharp gasp punctuating that blissful release as you shuddered around his erection still grinding into you. Chrisโ actions got a bit more desperate now, goaded on by how you swept your fingers through his hair before clutching on, reeling his head back onto the back of the bench seat and riding him harder, your rhythm relentless and pushing him closer and closer over the edge.
โItโs good, right?โ you sweetly asked. โYou gonna cum for me, Chris?โ
โFuck, hold on,โ he croaked, his eyes rolling back in ecstasy before you gently pulled his hair again. โGimme a second, we canโtโโ he pleaded, all pouty and doe-eyed, โgoddamn, hold on, I canโtโโ
โโถโถโถโถโถโโทโทโทโทโทโ
But he did.
At least, you thought he did.
Because, as if nothing had happened at all, the next thing you knew you were waking up in a bed that wasnโt yours. It was his again. The way you seemed to know this instantaneously didnโt ring as odd to you when it probably should have, but there was far too much to be confused by going on at once. How did you even get here?
You blearily sat up, the crust in your eyes making it even more difficult to see, along with how dark it was. The bed was empty but you knew it was his. You tried to make out the rest of the room, get further confirmation of this fact you already knew, until you found your bag on the floor. Your phone was on the brink of death when you fished it out, but it was still able to report that it was five in the morning.ย
The weird thing, at least in your mind, was that you were clothed and alone. You did just fuck Chris in the parking lot behind the Trawler, didnโt you?
โฆ Didnโt you?
It felt like you did. But, even now, fully clothed in this veritable strangerโs bedโฆ
It felt like itโd been a vivid dream.ย
You slipped out of the bed, not even covered in a blanket. Your shoes were still on your feet. The room was a bit cold, enough to wake you up a bit faster. Judging by the view out the window, Chris lived in an upper floor unit, likely a private walk-up like many of the old houses in the area seemed to be updated into. This house was old indeed, listening to the creak of the floorboards as you warily walked out of the bedroom and found yourself in a small kitchen. A frayed cord hung from the ceiling. Following it upward, it was attached to an old attic door.
โI wouldnโt pull that if I were you,โ came a voice, bringing you back to the oddity at hand. There was Chris, sitting at his tiny kitchen table. He almost looked sick, his cheeks pale. You were certain if you felt his forehead, itโd be clammy. A mug with three tea bag strings hanging out of it was clutched in his hand, shaking the smallest bit for you to see. โThe attic door is broken,โ he explained, not looking at you. โThe super is supposed to take care of it.โ
You looked up at the door again. It didnโt appear broken, but you left it alone.
Chris grimaced into his mug. โDid you and Iโฆ Did we hook up again?โ
You nodded, a gesture you werenโt sure Chris saw but he nodded back nonetheless.ย
โI shouldnโt be wanting this,โ he frowned.ย
You were at a loss of what to say. Instead, you comfortingly ran your fingers through his hair. Truth be told, the fact that neither of you were freaking out over not concretely remembering this was probably the least weird aspect of it all. You both had your own, much bigger concerns.
Chris took a sip of his tea. His hand twitched, making him sloppy. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. โIโm better than this. Iโm not supposed to want you.โ
โIโm sorry,โ you weakly attempted.
The young priest raised an eyebrow at you. His eyes were bagged and red, bloodshot like he hadnโt slept in days. โNo, youโre not.โ
It wasnโt a denial. It was a diagnosis.ย
And he was right.ย
Chris betraying his vows and giving into you was the most potent adrenaline rush youโd ever experienced. That was the case the first time, and it was the case now.ย
And if he didnโt stop you, youโd make his life a living hell until he repented.
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Drunken Daze |๐ Bang Chan x fem reader
Genre: smut
Rating: 18+
Pairing: Bang Chan x fem reader
Word count: 2,7k
Warnings: drinking, adult language, explicit descriptions of sexual acts
Summary: After drinking one too many, you confess to your friend that no man has ever made you cum, and he takes that very personally.
A/N: Yes, this is a repost, because it just makes more sense for it to be a one-shot. Don't kill me. Or do, idc
Masterlist | Network
The room spun around as you stumbled your way to the sofa, spilling the contents of your glass in the process and laughing at your own clumsiness. No effort was made to clean up the mess and, instead, you simply brought the cup to your lips in hopes that some of the drink would have survived the ordeal.
โFelix is gonna kill you,โ he said in between heartfelt giggles, struggling to sit up straight for a minute until he just gave up and slouched.
โNot if I kill him first,โ you retaliated, as menacingly as you could muster in your current drunken state. โHeโs probably getting some pussy right now, he doesnโt give a fuck.โ
โWish that was me,โ he commented, half-jokingly. You laughed, but you could feel heat pooling in all those places you wished were being touched. โItโs been a long ass time.โ
His confession came as a bit of a shock. Sure, he was short as fuck, slightly awkward, and had the weirdest sense of humour that not everyone could handle but, if one could look past those character flaws, your friend Chris was a heck of a catch: cute face but not so handsome itโs intimidating, nice veiny hands, a six-pack and, to top it all off, a nice round booty. Not to mention the dimples when he smiled, his warm brown eyes, the way his voice went up an octave when he was excited, how he curled up in his sleep like a silly little cat and -
โYeah, same,โ you simply replied, unsure of how long it had been since he spoke, your mind racing more than usual - perhaps it was the alcohol or the fact that you suddenly became aware that Chris was wearing the perfume you had gifted him for his birthday a while back, something musky and sensual with a hint of sweetness, just like the man himself. โAnd itโs not like Iโve been having any good action, either.โ
You were ready to lay the subject to rest and suggest watching some dumbass show, like The Tiger King or something equally outrageous but your last confession seemed to hit your best friend like a brick to the face.
โYouโre saying your ex never made you come?โ
You were glad he couldnโt see your face because you could swear it had turned as red as a fire engine. โN-no,โ you stuttered, hyper-aware of your existence all of a sudden. โNobody has, ok? Itโs not that uncommon-โ
โItโs a fucking tragedy, is what is it,โ Chris protested, sounding like an activist fighting for equal rights. Which, in a way, he kind of was - fight for your right to orgasm, which was actually pretty valid. โMen are a nightmare!โ
The way his voice swelled up with passion was funny, you couldnโt deny, plus he sounded genuinely appaled. You simply nodded in agreement, as if he could see it, and looked around for the bottle of rum. However, when you tried to get up to fetch it, your knees immediately gave up on you, much to Chrisโs amusement.
โI bet I could make you come,โ he said matter-of-factly and you froze in your tracks, unsure if you were hallucinating, checking your glass for some weird powders or something. โIt canโt be that hard, those dudes are just idiots.โ
You gave up on trying to climb back onto the sofa and just decided to lie down on the floor, eyes fixed on the ceiling, doing your best to ignore Chrisโs musings. He was probably just speaking out of his ass, plus you were both pretty intoxicated.
โI bet they didnโt even kiss you properly,โ he continued, and you wished heโd shut the fuck up, because his words were genuinely destroying you a little. โProbably didnโt even tell you youโre beautiful and that your hair smells nice.โ
โChris, shut up,โ you spat, no longer amused. โWhy are you torturing me like this?โ
โWhat do you mean,โ he asked earnestly. Standing up felt like quite the workout but you felt you had to do it in order to look him in the eye for once. He looked confused and awfully drunk, as expected, his brown eyes open as wide as physically possible, his lips slightly parted.
โIโve been trying not to fall for you, youโre making it damn hard,โ you confessed with a deep sigh, bottom lip quivering, tears forming in your eyes.
Instead of replying, his eyes lingered on yours for a painful while, before he got up and stumbled his way into the hallway. You wanted to cry, really cry and possibly sob even. Not only because you were horrendously unsure of what had just happened, but mostly because you were supposed to share his double bed with him and that would feel super awkward after your stupid confession, so youโd just have to drag your ass to his roomate Felixโs bed and hope the blonde didnโt randomly show up at 4AM high off his rockers, he was cool and all but you didnโt know each other like that.
You blacked out, you sure did. Your back sore from napping on the cold hard floor, head still spinning but not as bad as before, stomach growling and your mouth feeling drier than a convenience store sandwich. Rubbing your eyes, you made your way to his kitchen, wondering if Felix was back already because sleeping on the floor or on that busted-ass IKEA sofa seemed like your worst nightmare.
โCome to bed, you silly goose,โ his voice startled you out of your skin and you nearly screamed.
โFucking hell, Chris-โ
Trying to brush him off, you took a pint glass from his cupboard and filled it with tap water which you proceeded to down before shamelessly stealing a pack of Tim Tams from his side of the pantry - you hoped it was his side, at least.
โAre you still drunk,โ you raised an eyebrow, finally capable of looking him in the eye for a bit before embarrassment settled in once more.
โI mean, a little, but I want you in my bed,โ he shrugged and had the audacity to give you his world-famous puppy eyes. Now you had to do whatever he said. Those sad little stupid eyes could convince you to commit murder, legit. โI prommy I wonโt do anything.โ
โWhat the fuck does that mean, Christopher?โ
โI meant everything I said, but I wish I had said it in a less cocky, sober-er? More sober? Yeahโฆ way. I guess.โ
You had to stop chewing on your Tim Tam to fully process what the fuck was happening in that godforsaken kitchen at ungodly hours of the night. โListen, letโs just get some sleep and-โ
โCan I kiss you?โ
โChris, youโre not thinking straight-โ
But before you could finish your sentence, his lips were on yours and you had to swallow the damn biscuit -cookie?- quickly before giving up your dignity to kiss him back, immediately moaning into his plush lips and feeling like an absolute fucking tosser. You started to wonder if you were dreaming or hallucinating, especially when his hand cupped your chin like in some fucking Keira Knightley movie. He seemed deadset on getting another moan out of you because his other hand immediately roamed inside your shirt, his fingertips very gently grazing up and down your side, that particular super-sensitive spot he had once accidentally found when he tried to tickle you.
โF-fuck-โ You couldnโt believe how easy you were being and how shitty youโd feel the following day once the hungover had fully run its course and your brain was running optimally once more. โI love you-โ
I done fucked up, you thought to yourself when his lips abruptly left yours.
โIโm gonna make you come so hard youโll be forced to say that again.โ
Without another word, he took your hand and guided you to his bedroom. Youโd been there a thousand times, youโd slept on his bed next to him, youโd spent countless hours playing League of Legends with him in there yet, for some reason, it felt unrecognisable this time. Even though you had sobered up, you somehow still felt horrendously drunk, maybe drunk on him and his stupid sexy perfume - that you blamed yourself for - and his stupid curly hair and his dumbass muscular arms andโฆ
โSay my name, baby,โ he cooed, voice gentle but deeper than usual, a hint of darkness in his throat.
โC-Chris. Christopher-โ
He chuckled, blushing as if he felt a little embarrassed by his own desire to dirty talk you.
โYouโll be moaning a lot more in a moment.โ
The heat taking over your body was nothing short of overwhelming. Despite being uncoordinated and disorderly, his touch felt earth-shattering. The slightest feather-like run of his fingers across your skin was enough to set you ablaze and you weren't sure if it was the alcohol you'd both consumed, the love bursting out of your pores or some odd combination of both, but you could safely affirm that nobody had ever made you feel so full with so little. The way his lips paced down your neck, the way he would occasionally grunt into your skin, the way his hair brushed against your chest as his kisses made their way downโฆ it was too much but not enough at the same time.
"Soโฆ hot," he mewled when his lips finally reached your crotch, his fingers gently pushing the garment to the side so he could take a look. "This is all for me." His dark chuckle so close to your core sent you into overdrive and you wanted to beg out loud, but forgot how to put words together when, in just a few seconds, his mouth was unceremoniously slurping you up.
"C-Chris," you whimpered, at least an octave above your regular register and you could feel his amused exhale against your skin.
"Come on, make me work a little harder," he cooed, looking up at you from his comfortable spot in between your legs. "It can't be this easy."
You were unsure whether to laugh, cry, be amused, or offended. So you simply decided to bury your face in his pillow, hoping the lack of air would somehow help calm your loins. You'd dream about this, you'd imagined this very scenario countless times in your head. Anytime you'd slept next to him in that very bed, anytime you'd cozied up with him on his couch watching some ridiculous D-tier shark movie, every time he smiled at you from across the room. That pesky crush on him you'd harboured for years thrown into the backburner, maybe for a later date, or a never date, because there was no way he felt the same. Even now, while he made all your dreams come true, you couldn't help but wonder if you were awake and, if you genuinely were experiencing this, was it just the alcohol, was he just using your feelings for him to get himself off?
No, no, no, you scolded yourself from your own shitty thoughts and tried to focus solely on his tongue and the way it languidly yet precisely moved along your folds until it finally landed exactly where it should. It felt almost like an electric shock and caused a moan to escape from your lips, muffled by the pillow.
"Move that thing," he mumbled as he reached out to pry the pillow from your hands and you were so lightheaded you didn't even attempt to fight him on that. "I wanna hear you, baby."
And the way he said it, the word baby, a pet name you didn't even like. Milk and honey rolled off his tongue, the masterful tongue causing you to whimper gently as your hands desperately searched for something to hold on to. You finally found his hair and your fingers latched on to it. He could sense you falling apart, but he knew there was something missing so he quickly pushed his index, middle and ring fingers inside of you, earning a loud moan you didn't even know could come out of your mouth.
"That's it," he said, voice deeper than usual, vibrating against your pussy. "You sound beautiful."
And with that, he curled his fingers inside, the pads of his digits hitting a spot you'd only felt a couple of times. Your entire body trembled and you had actual tears in your eyes. The sensations were all too staggering, your legs shaking like leaves in the wind, your hands left his hair and you genuinely didn't know what to do with your entire body, wuthering under his touch.
"Chris, I-"
"Hummm," he mumbled, not stopping his ministrations, simply looking up from his comfortable spot.
"I'm going to explodeโฆ"
And it did feel like exploding, like your body disassembling and reassembling itself back together with the intensity of a star imploding. Not that you knew what that felt like, but you could swear this was it. He slowed down his movements, probably not wanting to overwhelm you too much, and allowing you to ride out the feeling slowly. Finally, when your body stopped shaking and you could feel your heartbeat inside your head, he placed a little kiss in your pussy and resurfaced, like a deep sea diver returning from the most exquisite underwater cave. He chuckled when he caught a glimpse of your reddened, sweaty face and you looked for the pillow again to hide.
"I guess I was right all along," he laughed, pushing the pillow away before you could use it to conceal yourself. "I'm still gonna ask: did I make you come?"
You nodded vigorously, unable to speak. He thought your exasperation was funny. He gave himself a pat on the shoulder and that made you smile. "Good job, Christopher!"
He pulled you into his arms and pulled the covers over both of you, letting out a yawn. He always seemed to fall asleep at the weirdest possible times.
*
You looked out the window at the rain dropping loudly and sighed. Your phone hadn't pinged all day, or the day before, or the day before that. It had been about a week since you and Chris hooked up - well, more than hooked up - and he's been radio silent. You woke up the next morning to an empty bed, and he'd been awfully missing since then. You sulked. Maybe he was just horny and it meant nothingโฆ
Your phone finally pinged, startling you from your sad thoughts. Except it's not just a ping, it's ringing. Christopher's name flashed on your screen.
"Hello?"
"Please come to the door," was all he said before hanging up, you imagined he was low on credit as usual.
You sighed, sliding a cardigan and some slippers on and going down the stairs to your front door, popping your head out and looking around.
"Hey!"
He had a bouquet of roses in his hand, which he nervously handed to you, his ears red and eyes darting everywhere.
"I'm sorry I disappeared, baby, I-"
Babyโฆ There it was again, the pet name you didn't even like unless it was coming out of his mouth. And the way he said, with such urgency, such longing. What did any of this mean?
"I thought you wouldn't wanna see me again after we-"
"After you fingered me?"
You laughed, somewhat bitterly, the flowers still in your hand.
"After I fingered you," he repeated, his voice low and eyes on his trainers as if he'd never seen them before. "I- I couldn't- I-"
"Listen, Chris, I," you swallowed and counted to three in my head, slowly, trying to buy yourself time to back out of saying what I was about to say. "I'm in love with you-"
Shit, I said it.
He sighed, lookingโฆ relieved?
"Fuck, I thought I was insane," he laughed, quickly walking past you into your house, closing the door behind him and wasting no time pinning you up against the wall and kissing you with such ardour you thought you were going to catch fire. You didn't kiss back immediately as your brain tried to process all the emotions you were feeling in such a short amount of time.
"I think this time we should go all the way-" you sighed in between kisses.
"Good, because I've been so hard thinking about how you moaned that time."
"Fuck, I love you."
"I love you too, baby."
The End.
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whispers โโโ lee felix.
โฐ notes : first of all i'd like to announce that i reached 3k friends here! thank you so much for that and i appreciate every single one of you! <33 anyway if you watched ABOUT TIME movie, you are already familiar with this scene because it's inspired by it. i just made a bit of changes and with felix in it so i hope you guys like it (this is not proofread btw) also, please DO NOT FORGET TO REBLOG, COMMENT AND LEAVE TAGS after reading! thank you <33
โฐ tags : @notastraykid , @ameliesaysshoo , @l3visbby , @reignessance , @lix-ables , @skzfelixlove , @rachabreathing , @hyunverse , @minluvly , @sleepyleeji
masterlist | taglist.
felix went home a bit late that one saturday night after work. he had to see the movie he promised to watch with jeongin at the cinema. you bailed out after he invited you when he mentioned he got tickets and made a reason to sleep on a day off. he parted ways with jeongin around the block and walked home, alone.ย
it was cold, he could see the smoke coming out from his mouth as his hands shoved inside the pockets of his jacketใผthe stars were illuminating the dark sky with a few clouds in sight but his eyes wandered around the streets. he was supposed to take the train back to your shared apartment but didnโt want to be disrupted by noisy passengers with loud music banging their ears from their earphones and he tried to take some time to think.ย
youโve been dating for the past three years and it has been amazing. he never felt so happy and contented. the joy cannot be compared to any other things. it was that time when the two of you met at a diner just outside the office where you were working. the purpose was to grab dinner and go home then, this wonderful man showed up who had gotten the love at first sight experience. an opportunity came in and a conversation. he invited you to dates every weekend until the feelings got deeper after getting to know each other for weeks, made the relationship official with labels, and decided to live together.ย
for the past three years, it was magical as it made tons of memories that you and felix couldnโt write every single one of them in your journal. the polaroids that were taken are hanging on the walls of your room with dates written on each one of them. those plushies he won for you sat on the shelves, the books being piled up being read or untouched, the albums from your favorite artists being displayed on the table along with the music player and vinyl, the flowers on the vases, the letters and other gifts youโve exchangedใผit was sweet.ย
having this amazing relationship with felix is like reading a book without a synopsis or a summary from the covers or even the first pages. you donโt know whatโs going to happen. itโs like living every day and there are things you cannot control. itโs either you read and go on with the story with curiosity and braveness or do not read the book at all and miss a series of events that could change your life. yet, you chose to read the book and the author created a love story you could ask for. it did change your life as well as felixโs but one thingโs for sure, there are a lot of trials on the way but it would start by holding your hands together to make a stronger bond, just like how chemical bonds create structures.ย
he went inside as quietly as possible as he didnโt want to ruin your slumber. the lights were switched off in the living room and only the entranceโs light censor made him see through the dark as he removed his shoes.ย
felix has thought of all the possibilities and the impossible, the rights and wrongs, the obstacles and smooth ways while walking. the consistency of this relationship must remain and be locked. he knew it wouldnโt be fancy but he promised himself that heโll do it in a way that the two of you would prefer. and now, heโs here, looking at your sleeping figure being wrapped around that white duvet.ย
โbaby,โ he called softly as he shook your shoulder lightlyใผkneeling down on the carpeted floor of your room.ย
โhmm?โ you hummed in response. โfive more minutes.โ you muttered making him let out a soft chuckle.ย
โno, baby, wake up,โ he said. โi have something important to ask,โย
your eyes flutter open, from a blurry vision to a clear frame directed at his face. a smiley felix welcomed you as he caressed your hair when you were about to sit up.ย
โno, just lay down,โ he said.ย
โokay,โ you smiled. โwhat is it?โ you asked, feeling relaxed on your soft mattress and the coziness of your pillow.ย
โyou know that weโre happy, right?โ he paused as you nodded in response. โi donโt know if itโs the movie i watched with jeongin that made me feel this way, it's always the romance genre that would hit me to reality and the thought that i always have you by my sideโโ he added when you put your index finger on his lips, hearing a piece of romantic music playing gently from the living room as it echoes through the open door of your room.ย
โis that romantic music?โ you asked. โand youโre on your knees while saying something that i doubt is not just a love confession,โ you added while fighting to stay awake which felix laughed shyly.ย
โyeah,โ he said, licking his lower lip in embarrassment. โi am,โย
โgo on,โ you smiled.ย
โwill you marry me?โ he asked which made your smile bigger and now youโre fully awake.ย
โi think,โ you paused, clearing your throat. โiโm going to say, yes to that,โ you added, looking at him in awe, saying; โand thank you for doing this that does not involve a lot of people and other crowds. i donโt like many people,โย
felix smiled gently and placed a soft kiss on your lips before tracing his fingers on your cheeks, โi also donโt like people,โ he said. โthank you for saying yes,โ he whispered before leaning forward to kiss you again.ย
โi love you, darling,โ you said in between.ย
โi love you more,โ he answered. โget back to sleep, alright? iโll join you in 10,โย
โokay,โ you said softly as he smiled, leaving a kiss on your forehead before exiting the room shushing han and seungmin for playing the instruments he asked for support outside.ย
ยฉ๏ธ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ , ๐๐๐๐.
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us in fairytale
PAIRING: bang chan x reader
GENRE: established relationship, fluff
WC: 368
WARNINGS: none
The first thing Chris saw on his phone upon landing was messages from you, sending a selfie with the blanket covering your head and just a simple sentence of "it's raining."
He wasn't supposed to be home until next week, but work was cut short and he's giddy from the thought of spending some days with you before he eventually has to be whirled into another seemingly endless project. So when his luggage finally comes out, he sets for one destination only; you.
You were half asleep when you heard the door open. You crane your neck, trying to blink the sleep away when the person at the door walks toward your bed.
"Chris?" you ask in a sleepy voice.
"Gosh, were you asleep?" he asks, standing beside you. You didn't respond, but he feels twice as bad when you rub your eyes. "I'm so sorry baby, let's go back to sleep."
He walked to the other side of the bed, slipping under the heavy blanket you set for this season. Instinctively, you willed yourself to snuggle closer to him, letting him put one hand under your head as you lay your head on his chest.
"Weren't you supposed to be in Japan for another week?" your voice reverberated on his chest, making him feel all kinds of warm. Mindlessly, he runs his fingers on your hair, guiding you back to the interrupted nap.
"My schedule finished early, and I missed you," Chris stated. You hummed in response, trying to listen to his steady heartbeat. Your hand is thrown across his torso, depriving any space between the two of you.
"Sleep first," you inquired, trying harder to fight off the sleepiness to deliver your next sentence, "Stories later."
"I would be here for a long time, though?" he teased.
"You can stay forever," you mumbled before completely blacking out.
It's the first time you ever said it out loud; the word forever. Chris doesn't blame you for not believing in fairytales, he never does either. But, as it turns out, being in the safe embrace of each other, warm in the pouring rain, and listening to the synchronized heartbeat can change that.
"Who am I to say no?"
a/n. you're about to get very sick of me writing abt chan every sunday i miss that man so much
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texts with bf skz - 2k celebration
pairing: skz x reader (no prns used)
genre: fake texts, smau, established relationship
cw: mentions of suicide as a joke, language
notes: this is my first 2k celebration post (i have another written one in my drafts) but seriously, 2k in 7 months?? what if i cried. thank you to each and everyone of you supporting my works!!! sending virtual hugs and kisses
disclaimer: for all the members, the first pic is a convo between elle @yrhome & i (slightly altered for entertainment purposes), and the second pic is a convo i found on pinterest
taglist [open] - @weird-bookworm @junebug032 @alyszaen
chan (๋ฐฉ์ฐฌ)
minho (๋ฏผํธ)
changbin (์ฐฝ๋น)ย
hyunjin (ํ์ง)
jisung (์ง์ฑ)ย
felix (์ฉ๋ณต) - screenshotted the pic from the pinterest convo
seungmin (์น๋ฏผ)
jeongin (์ ์ธ) - i literally had to do the quiz for this one
happy 2k! and tysm again ^^
networks - @kflixnet k-labels @kbookshelf @neverendingdreams-net @straykidsland
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A Mutually Beneficial Agreement (M) ~Bang Chan | [1/3]
Pairing: Demon!Chan x F.Reader
Themes: Supernatural AU | Smut | Established Relationship (kind of)
Word Count: ~3k | AO3
Synopsis: How ironic... to have found yourself entangled with a demon called Christopher, of all things. Some people wouldโve made you believe he was taking advantage of you. But you knew better. [Find part 2 here].
Warnings: pet names ยท there seems to be specks of plot in my corn (pwp) ยท Chris has horns and a tail (feels like that deserves a warning on its own) ยท graphic depictions of intercourse (smut warnings under the cut).
Authorโs Note: finally sat down to finish this idea i had ages ago. iโve been in a bit of a slump lately, so this was certainly a nice warm-up. this is all just filth, and i dedicate it to my fellow monster lovers.
especial thanks to @notastraykid & @kisskissbanggang for reading this one and sharing their valuable thoughts with me. it means the world to me๐
Due to all the abovementioned warnings, this story is intended for an adult audience only.ย Minors please do not interact.
Part 2 >
Smut Warnings: literal monster cock ยท praising ยท smidge of degradation ยท unprotected penetration [piv & anal] (the reader is presumed to be on birth control) ยท the tail goes in places it probably shouldnโt go into ยท double penetration ยท minimal nipple action.
Disclaimer: the story presented in this work does not represent Stray Kids in any way; anything described in this story and all actions performed by the characters are purely fictional, this was created just for good fun.
โYouโre so warm, sweetheartโฆโ Chris mumbled against your cheek, all while he held your jaw in place with his hand.
โSo warm and softโฆโ
With his chest partially against your back, one of your legs over his hip, keeping your legs as spread open as much as this position allowed, Chris kept each thrust controlled, and his rhythm steady.
โSoโฆ mortalโฆโ
The feeling of his cock splitting you open repeatedly had your mind disconnected from anything that wasnโt him and you on this bed, and it wasnโt like you wanted it to be any other way.
You werenโt really sure how long youโd been here, much less how many times either of you had reached that perfect peak. Your thoughts were just muddied images, the only thing you could see clearly was Chris.
Chris, and his charming smile, and his ageless eyes, and the horns on his head, and his perfect noseโฆย
The weight of his arm on your chest and the tight hold on your jaw felt heavenly, just like his length within your walls did.ย
โMortal, but incredibly talentedโฆ Perfectly capable ofโฆ taking me, of giving me everything. Hm?โ
His voice was but a whisper against your cheek. There was no way you wouldnโt have been able to hear him when he was this close, when you both were one and the same with how intertwined you were, when every single one of your senses were solely focused on himโฆ
It wasnโt just his length or what he was saying that had your mind hazy. It was also the pants and groans and grunts he let out, all the kisses he pressed on the side of your face, and the feeling of his thick tail wrapped around your waist.
Chris had a way with words, and whenever he talked like this to you, whenever he let out his thoughts completely unfiltered while you had sex, you couldnโt help but feel tingly all over. Aroused, warmer, wetterโฆ
โCanโt talk, darling?โ Chris mumbled, each word made his lips brush against the skin of your cheek. He pressed a lingering kiss on your skin, keeping the pace of his hips just as steady as he had this entire time, unfaltering, somewhat slow, but precise.
You opened your mouth to speak, to confirm what heโd said much earlier. That yes, yes you were more than capable of taking anything he wanted to give you, that you could talk. But, honestly, you couldnโt really confirm that, not when what came out of your mouth instead was a moan.
He chuckled, clearly amused. So amused he quickened his pace, further clouding your reason. Just his mere presence set your insides alight, that, added to his motions, to his words, was just so incredibly dangerous. He had your mind going all fuzzy, drunk on his aura and the feel of him.ย
A priest would tell you this was all a curse, that the demon laying here with you was manipulating you for his own gain, enhancing your lust and sins so he could ultimately devour you whole for his own pleasure.
But you knew better.
There was no way you wouldnโt have known better, when this arrangement had been going for so long. Chris had always made it very clear that heโd never used any spell or mind control to make you do the things you did, his presence simply enhanced what was already there.ย
And you believed him.
โSinful little human, arenโt you?โ You could still remember the first time he told you that, back when you found him by a tree in the townโs cemetery.ย
Youโd given in to him so easilyโฆ And, honestly? You had no regrets. Zero regrets.
Especially when he was fucking you this good, when he fucked you this good several nights a week.
โAll these endorphin rushes keep us healthy, hm?โ Chris said sometimes, and you couldnโt help but agree. Sometimes you were groggy and achy the next day, but you were certainly satisfied, even happyโฆ What an odd emotion to feel thanks to a demon.
โHave you gone dumb already?โ Chris chuckled. You felt your cheeks burn with embarrassment, but you nodded anyway. Because it was true, you couldnโt even speak at this point. โAww, pretty little human has gone dumb on my cock, poor thingโฆโ
There was something about his condescending tone that made pleasure pool in the pit of your stomach, that made your lower belly tighten further. Needy, needy, needy, needyโฆ You could almost hear his voice in your mind, and you honestly wouldnโt be surprised if it truly was him speaking to you. It wouldnโt have been the first time his thoughts slipped into yours while you both got lost in each other.
Chrisโ hand loosened its grip on your face, while his tail unravelled from around your waist. His fingers ghosted all the way down your torso, between your breasts, over your belly, until they reached that borderline overstimulated nub between your legs. You couldnโt help but mewl, a sound that was almost pathetic to your ears. Not only because of his motions on your clit, but also because his tail had made its way up your body, until it found one of your nipples to rub it gently with its tapered tip.
It was so much. He was so much. And, somehow, you still couldnโt get enough.
โCโmon, pretty thingโ, Chris was panting, diligently stimulating those pleasure points of your body in just the exact way you needed him to, in that way youโd shown him how to all those months ago. โArenโt you gonna bless me with another? I need it, darling. And I know you need it, tooโ.
His pace picked up, until he was almost brutally ramming into you, stretching you open to your very limits, stimulating your insides in ways only the bumps and ridges of his very supernatural cock could. You were certainly close, and you knew that it wouldnโt take long for you to finally come undone under his enticing motions.
You could barely register the sound of his name coming out of your mouth, not only because of how quiet youโd said it, but also because your mind was going completely numb, hazy as you drew closer and closer to that ledge. With the rough pad of his fingers, with the texture of the tip of his tail, Chris worked you up, and, just like youโd predicted, in a matter of minutes, you fell face first into that pool of burning ecstasy that Chris himself had prepared for you.
The feeling raked throughout your body, extending from your core to every single one of your limbs. You couldnโt tell if you were moaning, or crying, or saying his name. You couldnโt tell what was going on outside of the feeling of Chrisโ skin on your own, of his breath against your cheek.
โThatโs it, baby. I love it when you tremble for me. Youโre so good, doing so wellโฆโ Chris whispered the words in your ear. You could barely hear them over the sound of your own heart beating within them.
Gasping for air, you released Chrisโ tail from your grip. You honestly hadnโt even realised youโd grabbed it in your orgasm-induced frenzy. The tip of it had finally stopped stimulating your nipples. Instead, it found its way between your legs to replace his fingers on your clit, just to apply pressure on it to prolong the final waves of your climax while he used his now unoccupied hand to turn your head towards him so he could kiss you.ย
His thrusts had stopped, his tongue, forked and slightly textured, was gentle when it moved against your own, and his thumb softly caressed your cheek as you were barely conscious enough to kiss him back. The taste of him was addictive, his throbbing length within your warmth made you dizzier, and it was at moments like these that you were reminded of why you always let him into your bed.
Because you just couldnโt get enough.
When you fully came down from your high, you figured heโd start ramming into you once again so he could reach his own relief. Instead, he removed his hand from your face and brought it to your lower abdomen, where it settled to caress the skin.ย
โSayโฆโ Chris mumbled, pressing a quick, brief peck on your lips before he pulled out of your walls.
The loss of contact almost made you whine, but when his hand left your lower abdomen, and you started feeling the slick tip of his cock against the sensitive skin of your ass, you looked at him through half lidded eyes, holding your breath in anticipation.
โWould you let me come in your perfect little hole, pet?โ Chrisโ tail moved away from your core to wrap around your thigh, squeezing the supple flesh as he continued to rub the head of his length over the ridged skin between your buttocks.ย
You swallowed, licking your lips while you nodded. You didnโt trust your voice right now, you just knew you were almost trembling with excitement at the thought. It had only been a couple of days, but you certainly missed the stretch, just his fingers earlier in the evening hadnโt been enough.
โSay itโ, Chris reached for the bottle of lube that had been discarded next to the pillows, like he was sure you were going to comply.
And he was right. You were going to comply, you wanted to, needed toโฆ
โPleaseโฆโ Your voice was hoarse, low, tired after all the involuntary noises that had been escaping your mouth, but you did say the one thing you knew he wanted you to. And as soon as you did, you heard his deep intake of breath.
His tail moved your thigh, closing your legs, and your body moved instinctively, laying fully on your side so Chris could press his chest completely against your back. With a hand on your buttock, you helped him keep yourself spread open, exposed so the lubed tip of his cock could start pushing against the ring of muscle between your cheeks.
Breathing deeply, you willed yourself to relax, and after a few moments, he finally breached past the initial resistance, slowly, but steadily filling your ass with his monstrous cock. Chris groaned behind you, nuzzling your shoulder. You just whined, already feeling yourself heating up with the feel of him going into your hole.
As soon as he bottomed out, his hand found its way to your lower belly, gripping your soft flesh tightly while his sharp teeth scraped the skin of your shoulder. A shiver ran up your spine, leaving goosebumps in its wake. The feeling of fullness within you was absolutely mouth-watering, but, still, you wanted more.
Reaching for Chrisโ tail on your thigh, you ran your fingers through the black snakeskin. The motion had him swearing under his breath, right next to your ear. The skin of his tail was smooth, sensitive, shining under the low lighting provided by the lamp in the corner of your room. The shimmer and iridescence was like nothing youโd ever seen before. Prettyโฆ So, so prettyโฆ
โChrisโฆโย
โโฆHm?โย
โMoveโ.
Chris inhaled sharply behind you, tightening his grip on your belly, and finally started to move. Slowly at first, to ensure you felt every ridge, every bump of his length, making your eyes roll to the back of your head. Oh, what a satisfying stretchโฆ
When you dragged your nails over the texture on his tail, Chris groaned, and his pace picked up considerably. His tail unfurled, releasing your thigh for blood to rush back to the areaโyou honestly hadnโt even realised how tight heโd been holding onto you. The mild numbness didnโt prevent you from feeling its movement, though.ย
Releasing your tummy to instead hook his hand under your knee, Chris pushed your leg towards your chest, giving his tail plenty room to find its way between your legs.
You could feel your legs tremble, your heart almost leaping out of your chest, and, in a poor attempt to ground yourself, you reached back, finding Chrisโ soft strands. But, most importantly, finding one of his horns.ย
The moment you held onto the keratin covering, Chris swore, borderline moaned under your tightening grip around the base of it. Before you knew it, the tip of his tail was at your entrance, teasing your opening while Chris kept brutally and repeatedly pushing himself into your ass. There was nothing you could coherently say or do. You knew what he wanted, what you wanted, but you just couldnโt speak.
However, you really didnโt need to say anything, as you mindlessly caressed the base of his horn, his tail had finally plunged itself right into your sopping cunt. Full, full, full, oh, so full of Chrisโฆ Just how you wanted to be, how he wanted it to beโฆ
Warm, warm, warm, wet, tightโฆ Chris didnโt say any of this, but you could hear him clear as day, even through the fog coating your thoughts. He was losing himself as well, and you could feel yourself gush around his tail with how aroused the thought made you, with how good he was fucking both of your holes.
โHow are youโฆ this soft and warm, hm? Warm little human. Lewd, sinful, arenโt you? Giving yourself to a demon so whollyโฆโ Chris mumbled the words against the skin of your shoulder, broken between groans and whines of his own as you kept stroking the horn in your hand, as you kept squeezing him tight.ย
You just nodded, incapable of telling him anything else. You could feel the flesh of your bum ripple with each collision of his hips, and it wasnโt long until his thrusts and the movement of his tail became an uncoordinated mess. He was close, and youโd be damned if you didnโt make the most of it yourself.
With your fingers on your clit, you rubbed quick circles as best as you could in this position. Uncaring of the desperate moans coming out of your mouth, at your motions, at the stretch of his cock in your ass, and his tail within your walls, nudging your sweet spot.ย
โShitโฆ Fuck, gonnaโgonna blow, pretty thingโ, Chris was panting, breathless after hours of indulging in you and your body, and you certainly werenโt doing any better. โStuff you full of meโฆ Want it, pet? Want that?โ
You nodded, frantically rubbing your clit as you chased your relief, telling him that yes, yes you wanted it. You wanted anything he was willing to give you.
With a desperate plea of your name, Chris finally came. His tail stopped moving, but his thrusts didnโt, he kept fucking into you as he filled up your ass, whining once your own orgasm washed over you and you started to clamp hard around his appendages. Whines of your own escaped from between your lips, your grip on his horn tightened, eliciting more desperate pleas from the demon behind you.
After one final thrust, keeping his hips as flush as he could with your buttocks, Chris finally stilled. Your throat was dry after doing nothing but moaning and crying for a while, your chest rose and fell with your quick breaths, and you could feel Chrisโ doing the same against your back.
When his tail left the comfort of your warmth, it snaked all the way up your body, until the tip pressed against your lips, which you eagerly opened to let it in.
As you swirled your tongue around the textured skin, you could taste yourself on it, something that didnโt displease you in the slightest. If you hadnโt just spent hours here, you were sure just the texture and the taste on your tongue wouldโve been enough to heat you up all over again.
Chris pressed tired, lingering kisses on your shoulder, just as he pulled out of your ass. Slowly, his cum spilled out and onto the now more than ruined bedsheets, joining the mix of fluids that had ended up there throughout the evening.
When you finally let go of his horn, when his tail finally popped out of your mouth, you turned around, looking into those dark eyes of his that always made a shiver run up and down your spine. Chris just grinned, a wolfish grin that had you scoffing a small laugh and rolling your eyes.
Your limbs were achy, your eyes could barely stay open, but you still let him pull you into his arms when he stood up from the bed. The sheets behind you started moving on their own as he walked you to your bathroom, where he sat you down on the toilet so he could diligently clean you up. A shower just wouldnโt be possible right now, you could barely stand straight, so he just made do with a jug and a washcloth.
One wouldnโt think a demon would be this gentle, but Chris was probably the oddest demon youโd ever met. โIf Iโm gonna do something, I better do it rightโ, he often said, and as you came to find out, this was just an integral part of fucking you as the act itself.
When you were finally mostly dry, laying your head on his chest with the now clean bedding under you, you could feel your eyes droop, vaguely even registering the words coming out of Chrisโ mouth.
โWhen you wake up tomorrow, I wonโt be here. But, with a bit of luck, Iโll be back in a couple of nightsโ, he mumbled, quietly as he caressed your hair and your back.
You just hummed to let him know youโd heard him. Not like he needed to tell you that, since it was always like this. Heโd appear, feed off of your lust, and disappear for a few nights. That was your arrangement. It wasnโt conventional, nor normal in any way, but it was what you had, and, for now, it was enough. It was just what you needed yourself.
A priest would certainly tell you this was all a curse, that the demon laying here with you, cuddling you, was manipulating you for his own gain. But what a priest wouldnโt have known at first glance, was that you had summoned this demon yourself. That the only reason you let him into your bed and feed off of you, was because, in a way, you fed off of him, too.
Part 2 >
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General Masterlist
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five times changbin had soft heart eyes for you <3
pairing: changbin and gn!reader; genre: fluff, established relationship, very slight angst; warnings: none; word count: 1.1k
taglist: @awooghan @xiaoderrrr @cosmic-railwayxo (join the taglist here! :D)
note: hi, here is my delayed comeback lmao i thought i can immediately proceed to writing when my finals ended but i just felt more exhausted right after so i decided to give myself more time before i continued this. this was a celebration for changbin's birthday, supposedly, but at least i still got to post it. hope you enjoy this either way :D
ยฉ linonyang - all rights reserved. please do not copy, translate, modify, repost, or claim as yours.
check the rest of the series: chan | minho | changbin | hyunjin | jisung | felix | seungmin | jeongin
when you visited him right away because the rest of the boys left him for their break. he wasnโt able to go home in an instant since his sister told him sheโll fetch him from there a few days later. you were aware of their break, and once you asked him if he was going home already, you packed your bags quickly as soon as you receive the message, โnot yet, honey!โ you underestimated his reaction to your presence in front of the door. he was so smiley and he spaced out while staring at you too many times the whole time you were there until the day he needed to go home. he actually got a little sulky when his sister dragged him away from you because he wanted you to stick with him more, but you told him you can call him right when he gets into his sisterโs car. heโs that clingy guy! one minute into the car ride, your phone rang, and the first thing you saw was him with puppy eyes. you really couldnโt resist him, so you let him whine loudly on your phone as he physically got farther from you every second.
when you accompanied him to the arcade when everyone wasnโt in the mood to join him. he knew he shouldnโt be pissed since everyoneโs tired, but he was so thankful that you kept up with his never-ending energy. much to his surprise, you were also thrilled to compete with him in every single game in the arcade. you were mostly losing since changbin played in that arcade hundreds of times already. the last time you went here was for your date, and that was at least a year ago, so it was obvious that you were not trained to the core with the games. but when you finally beat him against one of his favorite games, he wasnโt able to take his eyes off of you when you were jumping in glee. he thought that maybe he should let you win from now on to see you smile. he should play video games with you in his place and intentionally lose every night just to make you win and see happiness visible on your face. he might never sulk to you because your delightful grin and glittering eyes make up for his insignificant loss.
when you came to him, not feeling yourself. you were too tired from all of the work you did for the last few days, so you spent your short rest time at night with changbin. he was nice enough to pick up your call and arrived at your place quickly with food for you two to munch silently for dinner. changbin encountered this state of yours occasionally, and he was understanding enough to not be overwhelming in your quiet and peaceful space. while you were slowly nibbling on your food and staring somewhere in your room, changbin looked at you. honestly, he was concerned. but he realized you found comfort in him, and that melted his heart so much that he wasnโt able to stop admiring your presence. you didnโt mind resting with him and the first thing you did to rest was call him. he thought of it again and again and he almost sighed blissfully in joy so loudly while looking at you, your legs and arms entangled with his. his short time of falling in love with you all over again was interrupted by the sound of your faint chuckle. you told him that his ears were burning, and you were confused about why.ย
when you felt like the clingier one in the pair, you have no reason but you felt like clinging to changbin for a whole month. when you begged changbin to be your pillow for the day, he couldnโt be happier than everโhe was ecstatic. days like this just made you want to melt in your bed with changbin beside you, and he always looked forward to that time of the month from you. so when changbin dived into your bed and let you wrap your arms around him, he felt small, in a good way. he felt loved. you hugging him really hit differently, and he could exist for the rest of his life in between your arms. once night fell and you fell asleep with him in your arms, changbin saw you, the moonlight shining on your face, and he couldnโt help but touch your face delicately and be the one hugging you through the night. but you were still holding onto him tightly, so he spent some time gazing at your beauty until his eyelids fell on their own. he couldnโt tell how long he stared at your face, but he knew it was worth it. because you woke up, and you looked more breathtaking than last night. there was this glow on your face, and he followed your face and figure the whole morning as you did your morning routine, utterly aware that he spent most of his night analyzing every gorgeous feature on your face with so much love filled in his heart.
when you let him lead the way during your trip for your anniversary as a couple. changbin prepared a whole itinerary for your anniversary, and the first thing you told him was to bring you to wherever place he wanted to spend time with you. the whole day was amazing, and you werenโt able to imagine any other first-anniversary date better than thisโit was perfect. the day almost ended and you spent the last few hours of the day by the park with a fireworks display. changbin had too much pride that you wouldnโt fear the loudness. but unfortunately, both of you ran away because of how loud the display was, as you were considerably near the actual fireworks. when you stayed under a tree, still not that far from the display, you watched the sky with your ears covered. changbin did the same for a bit until he heard muffling noisesโyour gasps of joy and fascination. he moved his head, and he knew what he was gonna see: your face with so much wonder. gosh, he loved seeing you so happy. he thought the misfortune with the fireworks display slightly ruined the day, but he guessed not, since you were still enjoying it. he spent the rest of the display looking at you and your sparkly eyes instead of the fireworks. when the fireworks display was over, you instantly chattered about it on your way home, and he did not stop looking at you with the same sparkly eyes as you.
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Love Playlist #3: Make It Right (Lee Know)
ยซGENERAL M.LISTยปย ยทย ยซNAVIGATIONยปย ยทย ยซTALK TO MEยปย
"It hurts to love you."
Pairing:ย Lee Know x Fem!reader
Genre:ย college au, angst, exes to lovers
Warnings:ย swearing, messy break-up, mc has a fear of the dark, mild haunted house/Halloween descriptions
Word Count: 18.3k
*Written for @skzwritingcafe's July/August event: Summertime Confessions โ๏ธ
Special thanks to @baekhyyun & @simpforyongbokk for beta-reading!! ๐
โI love you.โ
You roll your eyes and shove Minho away, trying to suppress the giggles that threaten to spill out. โStop that. We need to concentrate, or weโll never find an apartment.โ
โIโm definitely concentrating.โ Minho grins mischievously. โOn you.โ
Laughing at his antics, you shake your head, shutting your computer for a brief intermission to tend to Minhoโs insatiable appetite for your attention. Your boyfriend never fails to make you smile, no matter what.ย
โI love you too, you menace.โ
Minho wakes up with a start. He groggily glances over at the clock hanging on the wall in front of him. Nearly 3 a.m. Slinging his legs over the side of the couch, Minho just sits in that position for a good twenty minutes, marinating in the pitiful mixture of his sweat and tears.
The night before, heโd attempted to drown away his sorrows at some bar he stumbled upon while aimlessly wandering the city streets. It hadnโt worked, obviously, because his wallet wasnโt bottomless, and the pain was too great. But in true character, Minho had tried anyway, until his savior found him slumped over the counter and led him back to a safe place to sober up.
โStay here as long as you need to,โ Chan had said, tucking Minhoโs drowsy form into a bundle of blankets on the couch, like he was a little kid.
Minho had tried to resist, mumbling complaints towards his friendโs retreating back, but fell into a troubled slumber before Chan even reached his own bedroom. Now heโs wide awake and unwilling to be so, praying he can just fall back asleep and forget about everything that had transpired in the previous twenty-four hours. But even sleep canโt save him from the memories of what you both once were: happy.
Itโs not like he didnโt notice the rift growing between you two in the past few weeks. You didnโt have as much time for each other anymore, reducing your interactions to quick dinners and text messages. But you both have been together for nearly three years, and Minho had assumed that it was just the stress of senior year taking a toll on you both, nothing more. You both had been browsing apartments together just one month ago, finally planning to take the next big step in your relationship. He loves you more than anything in the world, and he so believed that you felt the same about him.
So when you sat him down yesterday at your favorite cafรฉ, Morningstar Coffee House, and told him that you had doubts about your future together, he was shocked. Too fearful of what you were going to say next, Minho decided to take an abrupt exit out of the conversation, rushing out of the door by using class as an excuse. And now, he will be forced to confront a brutal reality, wishing he could have just gotten this over with yesterday.
A small chime alerts Minho to a new text message, and before he even reaches over to the coffee table to pick up his phone, he knows itโs you.ย
bobaluvrr: we need to finish talking
catservant98: do we really need to?
bobaluvrr: morningstar at 8. i have class, pls donโt be late.
With an exasperated groan, Minho stands up, tossing his phone onto the couch. At the very least, he could use the coffee.
โDonโt you think youโre being a little extreme?โ Soyeon scrapes the bottom of the pint of ice cream in her hands, frowning when her spoon doesnโt recover as much as sheโd like.
โMaybe,โ Sunoo answers for you from where heโs sprawled out on the floor, lying on his stomach while scrolling through his cellphone. Soyeon chucks a pillow at him, making him yelp and lift his hands up in defeat.
โThis is for the best, Soyeon,โ you reply firmly, stabbing your spoon into your own pint of rocky road and digging out a generous chunk. As you lick the spoon, you note that you barely notice the creamy goodness that always succeeds in cheering you up. Not today.
Sunoo sits up and sets his phone aside. โLiterally last month, you said you wanted to marry Minho as soon as you graduated.โ
You swallow harshly, remembering the exact moment Sunoo is referencing. Itโs true that you wanted to marry your boyfriendโ no, you still want to marry him, even now. But you meant what you said; breaking up with Minho is necessary to prevent any more heartache. Youโve been feeling this indescribable longing seeping into your heart for weeks now, silently pressing through all of your warning bells. It was a whisper in the wind beneath your lofty wings, telling you that one day, Minho was going to leave you. The last few days had been the final straw, forcing you to grasp your courage and do what had to be done.
โI know.โ You hold your tears back. โBut the situation has obviously changed.โ
Soyeon takes your hand in her own, softly rubbing your palm with her thumb to comfort you, while Sunoo just rolls his eyes. โI still blame that bitch Minju. Itโs her fault youโre feeling like this, if anyoneโs.โ
At the mention of Minju, your expression hardens. After all, you donโt exactly have warm regards for a backstabber like her, especially when she had pretended to be your friend just to get close to Minho. When you found out about her ulterior motive, it made the betrayal hurt ten times worse.
You had befriended Minju nearing the end of the previous year, after she sat next to you at lunch when you were alone in the dining hall. All along your short-lived friendship, you had noticed that she would only ask you questions about Minho or your relationship with him, but you brushed it off as an attempt to just get along with your boyfriend. You had no idea that she wanted to do more than that.ย
At the beginning of the next semester, Minho mentioned that he had one class with Minju. Ever the optimist, you were pleasantly surprised, thinking that Minju could become friends with Minho as well. After all, it always took Minho forever to really bond with new people, and this would make everything easier. But the little things you kept overlooking built upon each other, forming a whole dam of distrust.ย
First, there were all of the times you hung out with both Minju and Minho. While Minho always engaged in conversation with the both of you, if not more with you, Minju would actively ignore you just to talk to Minho. Once, you three visited an arcade together, and there was a game that involved picking teams. Minju immediately declared that she would partner up with Minho, so you had no option but to team with a stranger. But maybe she just wanted to get to know him.
And then you ran into Heeseung, one of Minjuโs old classmates. Heeseung had no malicious intentions; he used to have photography class with Minju before she switched out, and needed Minjuโs number to ask her for the pen he had lent her. It looked like Minju had changed her course schedule to share a class with Minho. But maybe that was just a coincidence.
The final piece that made you put together Minjuโs puzzle was when Minho was dropping you after a date one night. He had kissed you goodbye, and you went inside, wondering if you should invite Minju over to watch some movies. You called Minju and asked her if she wanted to come over, but she claimed that she was very sick and couldnโt even leave her house, down with a high fever in her bed. Feeling sorry for your friend, you decided to whip up a quick batch of soup for Minju and walk over to her loft. However, you saw two people standing right outside the building. Upon closer look, you realized it was Minju and Minho, talking about something you couldnโt hear. But the sight itself was enoughโ Minju looked perfectly healthy and fresh. You could give the benefit of doubt to your boyfriend, but Minju had obviously lied to you. You ran away before either of them spotted you.
You shake your head, knowing in your heart that even someone like Minju couldnโt really end one of the most important relationships in your life. โItโs not just her. Iโm tired of watching every other couple on campus, wishing Minho and I were like that. Everyone calls us perfect, but really, weโre not. Iโm tired of pretending. Iโm tired of feeling like Iโm the only one who cares. Iโm just tired of everything, Sunoo.โ
And itโs true. Youโve had enough of wondering about whether you love him too much, if you were being naive about everything. You have always been a very bubbly, social person, wearing your heart on your sleeve. You know that Minho is more of an introvert, and that itโs hard for him to express himself to others. However, you believed that with time, he would open up, at least to you. You found it as easy to confide your fears within Minho as it was to laugh when he tickled you. But communicating with Minho about his own feelings remained a difficulty. He still seems like such a mystery to you, and even if he wasnโt entertaining Minjuโs whole plot, you feel like he isnโt as interested in you as you are in him. You hadnโt even bothered telling Minho the truth about Minju, because in the end, you doubt Minju would have troubled you so much if your relationship really was so unbreakable.ย
Sunooโs face softens, as he gets up to envelope you in one of his hugs. โIโm sorry if I came off too strong. I just want the best for you.โ
Soyeon joins your little huddle, wrapping her arms around the both of you. โYou are our best friend, after all. We canโt have our favorite girl being sad.โ
A tiny flicker of hope ignites in your stomach. Whatever happens, you know youโll have Soyeon and Sunoo by your side. You tell yourself over and over again that you donโt need anyone else but them, until you start to believe it.
It hurts Minhoโs heart to see that you look more beautiful than ever as you step into Morningstar, even with your downturned lips and the reddened sheen of your sleepless eyes. He busies himself with the menu as you approach the table heโs sitting at, as if he wasnโt just watching you a moment earlier.
โThank you for seeing me.โ Your words feel oddly formal, especially taking into account your usual greeting for Minho was an excited hug and an avalanche of kisses.
Minho shrugs, trying to seem nonchalant and not as scared as he really is. โYeah, of course.โ
You scoot your chair closer to the table, clearing your throat. โDid you sleep okay last night?โ
Unable to help himself, Minho rolls his eyes. โHow do you think I slept, Y/N?โ
You immediately flush, realizing how obvious the answer must be. โI was justโโ
โChecking on me,โ Minho interrupts you, sounding more wounded than angry. โRight after you tell me that you think maybe we shouldnโt move-in together and that you arenโt feeling the same about us.โ
You reach across the table to take Minhoโs hands in yours. He canโt bring himself to wrench them free from your hold. โIโm sorry if I hurt you.โ
โYou did.โ
โThat wasnโt my intention. I justโฆโ You trail off, gazing out the window. The campus is alive with the buzz of students waking up and going on about their days. Itโs a gorgeous day for October, with bright sunshine and a cloudless skyโ Minho hates it.
He looks away, not wanting to showcase how truly vulnerable he feels right now. โWhy? Why this all of a sudden? Did I do something wrong?โ
You start. โNo!โ
โAre you still upset about yesterday? I know everything is stressful right now, but I promiseโโ
You take a deep breath. โI can no longer trust you. I don't know if Iโll always be the only one. But itโs not you, itโs me.โ
โOf course youโre my only one, what are you talking about?โ Minho shakes his head, the desperation creeping in. โNo. I promise Iโll try. Iโll be better. Whatever it is, weโll get through this together.โ
You slam your palms down on the table, making it shake. It shocks both you and Minho into a moment of charged silence. โWeโll only grow to hate each other at this rate. I need to end things with you now.โ
โY/N, please. I- I donโt want to break-up.โ
You flash Minho a broken smile. โI donโt want it either. But I need to do this, for both our sakes.โ
You stand up from your chair, and Minho finally breaks. Minho, who didnโt cry even when he fell into a ravine while hiking and broke his arm. Minho, who didnโt cry even when he was cut from the line-up for his dream internship in New York City. Minho, who never cries, sits in front of you now, the tears streaming down his cheeks and dripping onto his sweatshirt.
โDonโt go, please.โ He makes one last attempt at getting you to stay, grabbing onto the arm of your jacket.ย
You gently shake him free, taking your purse. Youโre crying now too. โDonโt make this harder than it has to be, Min.โ
Minho lets his arm fall limply to his side as he hopelessly watches you leave as quickly as you came. He always hated saying goodbye after every time you went out, but the thought of being able to see you the next day helped a little bit. Now, there wasnโt even that.
โOneโฆ twoโฆ three.โย
Minho grunts in effort, sweat slowly dripping down his neck at the arduous pace of each repetition.
โKeep going, Minho. Youโre almost there,โ Changbin says, leaning over Minho and supporting him on the bench press.
Minho barely hears him, flexing his biceps up and down, exhausted, yet determined to finish a set. Heโs done nothing at all for the past few days, strangled with the inevitable grief of being broken up with. Minho sullenly welcomed trudging back and forth to classes. He went to bed early and slept in for as long as possible, and barely ate anything during the meals Chan forced him to have.
However, Chan finally became fed up with Minhoโs mopiness, employing Changbin to drag him out to the gym and make him work out his feelings. And so, as he struggles under the backbreaking weight of the barbell, he yearns to feel a sense of accomplishment about somethingโ anything.
โTen! Youโre done.โ Changbin gently places a hand on Minhoโs arm, willing him to stop, but Minho keeps going without toning down his pace.
Minho feels the excruciating ache burning in his muscles, the slow agony of pain rippling through him. Is this how you feel? Is this how much it hurts to love him? If so, he wants to live it over and over again, atoning for the reason you left him. He blames himself for letting you go, of course, but mostly for making you feel like you had to leave in the first place. He should have been a better man for you.ย
โMinho, stop!โ Changbin lifts up the weight in his own hands, racking it and staring down accusingly at his charge. โAre you crazy? You could have hurt yourself.โ
โYou lift more than that, and youโre fine. Give me that.โ Minho reaches for the barbell once more, but Changbin places it on an even higher hook, forcing Minho to get off the bench.
โIโve been doing this for years. You started after your girlfriend dumped you, four days ago.โ
Minho rolls his eyes, picking up his towel and dabbing at his dampened skin. โThanks for the reminder.โ
โYou were already thinking about her anyway.โ Changbin pats Minhoโs shoulder, grabbing his bottle of green juice and walking over to the rowing machine to start his own workout.
Without further protest, Minho retreats to the locker rooms, wondering if heโs being that obvious. Minho gazes into the clouded mirror, inspecting himself for any signs of sadness, but all he receives is an eyeful of his general look, a guarded expression that reserves smiles only for those who deserve it. Weird. Maybe Changbin is just telepathic.
Minho shoves his belongings into his gym bag and heads out of the gym, back to nowhere else but Chanโs apartment, his temporary home until he finds a better place to stay. After all, he thought you both would be moving in together, but plans change.ย
As Minho makes his way down the sidewalk that leads to the university off-campus housing complex, someone throws a soccer ball into his path. Great.
โHey, can you pass that over here?โย
Clenching his jaw in annoyance, Minho kicks at the ball as hard as he can, not caring about where it lands. He ignores the personโs confused shouts and keeps walking until he reaches his destination, not acknowledging any of the strangers he passed by. What does it matter, anyway?
โGym go well?โ Chan looks up from the cutting board, setting down his knife and wiping his hands on a dishrag.
Minho sighs, neatly fixing his bag next to his current post, the sofa. โIt was fine. Iโll go clean up and be right back.โ
โHurry! Dinnerโs almost ready,โ Chan calls as Minho heads inside the bathroom, locking the door and cranking on the shower.ย
Minho feels his body relax as he steps under the steady stream of water, but his mind remains tense. Heโd gone to the gym with Changbin today because he thought heโd be able to get some peace of mind and forget about everything, but evidently, that hadnโt worked. All he can think about is you, you, you. Heโll deny it to his friends for as long as he can, but he isnโt sure how long he can keep lying to himself.
As he finishes, Minho steps out of the steamy bathroom and into the bedroom, drying off and quickly changing into his clothes. He walks into the dining area, where Chan has set up two bowls and is ladling pasta into each of them. When he was younger, Minhoโs mother used to tell them that a good meal could ease a troubled heart. For her sake and Chanโs, he decides to eat well today, just for living.
Enveloped in a comfortable silence, Minho and Chan dig in, enjoying the spicy, cheesy penne that serves as an instant comfort food.ย
โThanks, Chan,โ Minho says, looking up from his bowl.
Chan swallows his bite and pauses, placing down his fork. โFor what?โ
Minho shrugs awkwardly, trying to find the right words. By now, he knows heโs no good at speaking his heart. โFor being there for me. For feeding me. Everything, I guess.โ
โAnd for making Changbin haul your ass to the gym.โ Chan grins at Minho, nothing but warmth in his kind eyes. โWhat are friends for, brother?โ
Even though he feels kind of crappy, Minho smiles. โYeah, man.โ
Chan reaches over and smacks Minhoโs back, laughing the sentiment off. But deep inside, Minho knows that Chan understands him. Whatever happens, his brother will be by his side. He tells that to himself over and over again, through dinner and the TV show that Chan turns on, until he starts to believe it.ย
The next morning, Minho wakes up after finally getting a good nightโs sleep. The much needed rest spurs him on to message you, something heโs been putting off for a while now.
catservant98: did you wake up?
catservant98: how are you doing?
catservant98: ??
You donโt reply to any of his texts. Minho knows that youโre not much of a morning person, but you would never miss class, so you have to be up. Every Thursday and Friday, both of you have Writing Seminar together, a course that is mandatory for every senior student at the university you both attend. When he first received his schedule, he had been elated that he shared a class with his girlfriend. Well now you are his ex-girlfriend, and he doesnโt know that being in the same room and unable to speak with you is a great option.
Nevertheless, Minho tucks his phone into his pocket, opening the door to the lecture hall. The moment he enters, his eyes find yours. Youโre sitting in your favorite spot in the middle of the fifth row, but the seat next to you that Minho usually takes is already occupied by some other girl whoโs busy reading a book. You didnโt bother saving him a seat, for the very first time.
You tear your eyes away from Minhoโs piercing gaze, looking at the grassy lawn beyond the window behind you, leaving Minho to find a new seat. He sets his backpack down in the very back row, where no one else is, and sits alone, a sad new reality setting in. Thankfully, the professor enters and starts talking about some upcoming project, leaving Minho ample leeway to observe you.ย
Your head is tilted down and you're focused on the open notebook in front of you. Although he canโt see your hand properly, he knows itโs moving as you sketch a little doodle onto the paper. Itโs a habit that he always found enormously endearing, and as you tuck your hair behind your ear, Minho feels another pang in his chest. He will never be able to brush back your hair for you, ever again.
The moment class is over, Minho quits pretending heโs actually paying attention and hurries over to you before you can leave. Youโre midway through stuffing your books bag in your bag when you notice Minho hovering over you. With a resigned sigh, you look up at him expectantly.
โI- I just wanted to check on you,โ Minho says quietly, looking down at his hands like heโs a kid again, guilty of stealing a candy instead of impinging on your time. โAnd see how youโre doing.โ
โIโve been better.โ You look away and stand up, gesturing towards the door. โI should go. Soyeonโs probably waiting.โ
โOkay then.โ Minho steps aside, letting you pass. You both had a lot of mutual friends; surely every interaction between you both will not be this awkward, right?ย
Before you leave, however, you turn and look at him. โLetโs try to be civil and move on, okay? Weโll still be seeing each other a lot, so.โ
Minho just stares at you, for a moment, before remembering himself. โYeah, okay. Letโs try.โ
You curtly nod and walk out the door. Minho isnโt so sure that moving on is what he wants. Of course he wants to get along with you, because having you in his life and not being romantically involved is better than not being involved with you at all. But he wishes the worldโ time, you, and even himselfโ would understand that moving on meant this loss in his life. Shaking his head, Minho heads out of the classroom and towards a hopefully better day.
โAre you sure this isnโt a bad idea?โ You worriedly scan the increasing mass of partygoers. Usually, you love a good party; spending time with friends and making new ones is one of your favorite things to do. Tonight, however, you canโt help the bad feeling building inside of you.
Sunoo loops your arm through yours, leading the way for you through the swanky flat, searching for a place to sit. โNo, it isnโt. You deserve to have some fun.โ
โWhat if I see Minho?โ You ask him, but you already know the answer. Of course Minho is coming to Jihyoโs birthday party; unfortunately, both of you were in the same large friend group, an aspect of your relationship that you used to cherish. Now, not so much.
He looks over at you, a challenge in his eyes. โAnd so what if you do? You told him you wanted to be civil. So be civil.โ
โRight.โ
You both find a place by the food tables, where boxes of pizza have already been opened to entice guests and bottles of beer chill in the cooler. After congratulating Jihyo and helping yourself to a few slices, you sit down on the couch next to Sunoo, trying to enjoy your dinner. After boba, pizza is your most favorite food on the whole planet, but even that canโt seem to soothe your nerves. You wish Soyeon were here too, but sheโs stuck studying for an exam.
Noticing your restlessness, Sunoo whistles to a few people mingling nearby. โHey, who wants to play Truth or Dare!โ
Although outdated, Truth or Dare is a certified party hit for stressed college students like you all, especially if thereโs alcohol involved. Youโre just thankful for the distraction. Everyone quickly huddles around, buzzing in anticipation of either a comedy show or secrets being revealed.
โIโll go first.โ Chan says, stepping forward. If heโs here, so must be Minho. โTruth.โ
Sunoo rubs his hands together in thought before piping up. โWhatโs your beef with your Student Council co-president?โ
Chan immediately tenses, his cheeks turning red. โShit. Iโll drink on that.โ
Everyone whoops with laughter and cheers as Chan downs his beer, setting the cup down with a sour expression on his face due to the bitterness of the drink. He must really hate his co-president. The game continues, before youโre the only person playing who hasnโt gone yet. Unfortunately, your questioner is Mark Lee, a junior thatโs notorious for his nosiness. You brace yourself for whatever invasive question heโll come up with, but you arenโt as quite prepared as you think.
โWhy did you and Y/N break up?โย
โHuh?โ You follow Markโs gaze to see him looking at Minho, who joined the game without you realizing. The question was meant for him, not you.
Minho says nothing, giving Mark the opportunity to keep talking. โI mean, werenโt you guys the golden couple of campus or something?โ
Everyone quiets down, zeroing in on you and Minho for all of the wrong reasons. Minhoโs eyes dart over to where you sit, shifting uncomfortably in your seat. You feel your skin prickle and your body heat up, the stress clouding your senses once more.
โThis is stupid. Gameโs over,โ Minho declares while getting up, and everyone disperses, not willing to argue with him.
You stare down at your lap as Sunoo places an arm over your shoulders, pulling you close to him. โIโm so sorry, Y/N. I had no idea Mark would ask that. What an asshole.โ
โIโm fine.โ You stand up, brushing off your skirt. โIโm going to go get a drink.โ
โIโll come with you,โ Sunoo offers.
You shake your head. โNo, itโs okay. Iโll come back.โ
After getting some water, you wind through the impromptu dance floor that has now taken over the living space, everyone jamming to the raging music that thumps through the loud bass speakers that Jihyo had installed into her flat. You dodge a couple grinding up against each other and a pair of best friends swinging to the beat. Before you head back to Sunoo, youโre about to find temporary reprieve out on the balcony, but like a cruel universal joke, you see exactly what you fear most.
Minho leans against the railing, the evening breeze ruffling the chestnut hair that frames his handsome face. And next to him stands Minju, twirling her hair around her fingers while listening to what Minho is murmuring to her. Yours and Minjuโs eyes meet, and she gives you the faintest hint of a satisfied smirk. Your heart drops and your feet want to give out right then and there, but you would rather die than fall apart in front of both of them. You turn on your heel and blindly march to wherever will rid you of the sight of the person you love the most speaking to the person you hate the most.ย
That destination turns out to be the kitchen, as you march in and huff out loud as your body hits the kitchen island. Thereโs no one else there except for one other person with his upper body hidden by the refrigerator, obviously raiding it. At the sound of someone else entering, he shuts the fridge door and looks over at you. Taking in his faded pink hair and beat-up converse sneakers, you vaguely recognize him from somewhere.
โI was just looking for some carrot juice, thatโs all.โ The guy shoots you a sheepish smile. โI donโt do booze past 9 p.m.โ
โCarrot juice? Donโt tell me youโre a fitness freak.โ
He raises his hands in faux surrender. โGuilty. But outside of the gym, Iโm Kang Taehyun. Or Terry, if weโre acquainted, and hopefully you and I will be by the end of the night. So call me Terry.โ
Youโre intrigued by this carrot-loving stranger. โIโmโโ
โY/N, I know. We have Writing Seminar together.โ Terry smiles as the recognition hits you.
You slap your palm against your forehead, wondering how you could have missed him. โIโm so sorry. I guess I was always too distracted in that class.โ
He waves your apology off with a twist of his wrist. โNo worries. Besides, youโre a lot more memorable than me.โ
You feel your cheeks heat up. โThank you.โ
In the brief silence that follows, you gaze up at the pattern of the tiling on the countertops, toying with the hem of your skirt. Once again, your thoughts flit over to Minho, wondering if heโs still talking to Minju. Terry notices you spacing out and speaks up. โHey, are you okay?โ
You look up at him like a deer caught in headlights. Suddenly, everything feels like too much, and youโre overwhelmed with your own emotions. You feel yourself tear up, and youโre immediately mortified for breaking down in front of someone you just met.ย
Unfazed, Terry crosses over to you in three quick strides and gently touches your arm, concerned. โHey, you donโt have to say anything if you donโt want to. I didnโt mean to intrude.โ
You swipe at your eyes, trying to collect yourself. โNo, itโs not you. I broke up with my boyfriend recently. And itโs beenโฆ bad. God, this is embarrassing.โ
Terry dips his head in understanding. โI noticed you werenโt sitting next to him as usual in class earlier today. Minhoโ that's him, right?โ
You let out a mirthless chuckle. โYeah.โ
โWellโฆโ Terry trails off, and you fear youโve ruined the mood with your depressive recollection, but he smiles at you. โIโll tell you something embarrassing about me. I have a fear of mint chocolate chip ice cream.โ
A giggle escapes your mouth at the absurdity of his confession. โWhat?โ
Terry nods solemnly. โYes. Technically, I have a fear of visiting the dentist, but mint choco is close enough to the taste of toothpaste to give me the chills.โ
You grin at Terry, the down atmosphere slowly fading away. โWhat do you like, then?โ
โWater slides. Pleasure reading. And caramel popcorn with extra caramel.โ Terry flexes his bicep. โEven a fitness freak needs his sugar fix.โ
You roll your eyes in good humor. โYouโre really something, arenโt you, Kang Taehyun?โ
โIโm hoping thatโs a compliment.โ Terry runs his hand through his bubblegum hair, carelessly mussing it up. You find the messiness of his bangs absolutely adorable.
โIt is.โ You tap your nails against your cup, trying to think of something to say next. Generally, you have no difficulty in keeping a conversation going, but Terry seems to be content with that role in this one.
โAre you an Apple or Android kind of person?โ Terry inquires.
You take a sip of your water, raising your eyebrow at him. โWhere did that come from?โ
โI was trying to think of a good way to ask you for your number.โ Terry shrugs, that playful smile that youโve now become familiar with coming back.
You return it. โYou just did.โ
Both of you exchange cell phones and type in each otherโs contact information. When finished, Terry slides your phone back into your palm, and you donโt miss the light touch of his fingers against your own.
โI have to go find my friend now, Terry. But Iโm glad I met you. Donโt forget to spam me with more weird facts about yourself.โ
Terry laughs. โI wonโt. Like I said, Y/N, youโre not easily forgettable.โ
You hide your smile and leave the kitchen, lost in your own world, even as you run straight into Sunoo, who asks you what took you so long. When you finally get back to the warmth of your own room after the party, you sit down to get some homework done before bed. You notice your favorite keychain, a little cat charm, hanging off your ID card lanyard thatโs strewn across your desk. Minho gifted it to you last year, stating that you needed something to remind you of him when he wasnโt there. After a momentโs hesitation, you unclip the charm from the lanyard and tuck it away inside your desk. You donโt need the reminder right now.
terrypotter: hey, good morning!! this is terry from yday btw
bobaluvrr: hii!ย
bobaluvrr: omg ur user <3 i love harry potter too!ย
terrypotter: this friendship was meant to be.
You throw off your covers, hopping out of bed. Last night was proof that things could start out horrible and end well. You meant what you said to Terry; youโre happy you were able to meet someone like him. Even though you both only hung out for a few minutes, talking to him felt relaxing and uncomplicated, less of a puzzle and more like a game, unlike how it felt with Minho. You were tired of always guessing Minhoโs thoughts, and so Terryโs habit of speaking his mind feels incredibly refreshing.
terrypotter: hereโs a thought- coffee @ morningstar?ย
terrypotter: they make a mean breakfast bagel too, if ur up for it
You frown down at your phone, the lighthearted feeling fading into uncertainty. You are glad that Terry named this new acquaintance as a friendship, but still, heโs a boyโ and a good looking one at that, too. You arenโt sure if getting coffee entails something potentially romantic down the lane, and if it does, it feels wrong, especially so soon after Minho. You definitely havenโt moved on, yet. After all, you once believed that Minho would be the man you would marry one day, and a tiny part of you still dreams of what could be.
bobaluvrr: i canโt :( promised my roommates breakfast
terrypotter: aw thatโs too bad
After a moment of thought, however, you text him again.ย
bobaluvrr: but iโll save you a seat in class today!
terrypotter: see u then :)ย
Strangely buzzed, you make your bed and get ready for the day, trying not to think of the fact that Minho is also in Writing Seminar with you and Terry. You donโt want him to give him the wrong idea, but then again, you both werenโt together anymore, so what does it matter?ย
After showering and getting dressed, you stand in the kitchen so that the excuse you gave Terry wonโt be a lie, scrambling a few eggs in the frying pan that Minho bought you last year. As the designated chef in your relationship, Minho used to cook for you all the time, whenever you came over to the apartment he shared with Chan and Jisung. Whenever he visited you, however, he complained that there werenโt enough proper cooking supplies for him to create a โproper culinary experienceโ for you, so he insisted on buying you some.ย
When you nearly fainted, looking at the receipts for everything he bought you, he promised that you could make it up to him by bringing everything with you when you moved in with him. Thatโs how he very smoothly asked you to move in with him, and you accepted by attacking him with kisses. You both planned to find an apartment as soon as possible, since Jisung wanted to move-in with his best friend, and Chan was looking for his own place. The reminiscing smile on your face fades away when you remember that everyoneโs plans came to fruition except for yours and Minhoโs.
You donโt know if itโs the universe looping Minho into your life again and again, or if your treacherous heart just misses him so much that you canโt help but subconsciously cling to every last remnant you have of him. The sensible side of you knows itโs the latter scenario.ย
โI smell food.โ Sunoo ambles out of his room, looking like a lovable yet scruffy teddy bear.ย
He tries to sneak a piece of fried egg from the pan, but you quickly push his hands away, wrinkling your nose. โGo brush your teeth first. Iโm going to throw up.โ
Sunoo rolls his eyes sleepily, but obeys, before Soyeon also comes out of her bedroom. Unlike Sunoo, however, sheโs all dressed and ready for business, clad in her uniform of baggy jeans and a badass leather jacket that you adore. Soyeon pulls out three glasses and starts juicing a couple oranges to complete your meal, as you start plating the food.
โThank you, my angel,โ Soyeon blows you a kiss as you set the eggs and some slices of buttered toast on the table. You wink back at her as you both take your seats and Sunoo comes out to join you, still wearing his pajamas.
โAnd you, lazy ass? Wake up earlier so you can help out more. You never do anything.โ Soyeon smacks Sunooโs arm, hard, eliciting a cry out of him.
โHey! I take on the emotional support role in this house,โ Sunoo replies, aggressively biting into his toast.
โThis is an apartment.โ
Your two roommates trade their usual insults back and forth as you tune them out, picking at your own plate. Maybe it had been a bad idea, asking Terry to sit next to you. And it wasnโt even about how you could already envision your ex-boyfriendโs beautiful eyes full of betrayal, but more of how youโre coming off to Terry. What if he got the wrong idea, that you both were heading into something more than a friendship?
When youโve escaped Sunoo and Soyeonโs bickering, you plug in your earbuds and walk to the lecture hall. The sound of your morning mix fills your ears as you enter your own world. While you cherish the people in your life more than anything, you treasure the times when you can slow down and just appreciate the fact that youโre alive and healthy. Gratitude isnโt something you feel a lot, especially taking into account recent happenings, but maybe youโll start now. A new friend is always something to be thankful forโ
You hear someone calling out and immediately pull out your headphones to see Terry next to you.ย
โHey, Y/N!โ Terry falls into a synchronized step with you. โDid I interrupt any deep contemplation? The look on your face was pretty intense.โ
You shake your head, accepting the coffee that Terry hands to you. โThank you. And no, you didnโt. Itโs nice to see you again, Terry.โ
Terry smiles, sipping from his own cup. โLikewise. Ready for class?โ
Youโre about to naturally give him an affirmative answer, before you halt, remembering yet another moment with Minho.
โWho the hell is he?โ Minho glowers threateningly at the guy next to you, pulling the sleeves of his button-down up to his elbows. The man quickly rushes out of the bar and into the rain, without even bothering to open the umbrella in his hands.ย
You sigh loudly while Minho sits down on the stool the man was just perched on. โWas that necessary, Min? Poor guy just wanted to ask me about the book Iโm reading.โ
โThatโs the pretense that all guys put up when theyโre trying to hit on a girl.โ Minho slides his arm around your shoulders, and despite your mild annoyance, you melt into his touch. He smells like a mix of cologne, rain, and fresh cotton sheets.
You look up at Minho through your eyelashes. โIs that what you did when you asked me out?โ
Minho smiles lovingly at you. โI didnโt have to. You were down bad for me already.โ
You shove him away in mock offense. โYou were the down bad one! I remember your whole cheesy speech.โ
โI donโt recall anything like that.โ The smirk on Minhoโs face fades in favor of a deep blush.
Laughing, you press a kiss to your boyfriendโs lips, and he quickly reciprocates. The truth is, you both were impossibly down bad for each other. And to be even more honest, you enjoyed it when Minho got like this; the feeling of being Lee Minhoโs girl will never not excite you, especially when he was the one keen on enforcing it.
You sigh to yourself. While that was a pleasant memory without the context, you arenโt so sure itโll be cute this time, when Minho reacts to you and Terry.
Terry holds the door open to the lecture hall, letting you go in first before shutting the door behind him. Most of the class is already assembled there, setting up their desks before the professor starts. You see that Minhoโs also sitting, perched in the back again, but he seems busy rifling through his bag, looking for something. As you take your own seat, you donโt know if you feel relief at Minho not saying anything, or disappointment that he didnโt notice you at all.
Throughout the duration of class, you and Terry giggle together over the professorโs infamous random rants, but your mind keeps flitting over to Minho. You can feel his gaze on you and Terry, but when you turn, you see him immersed in his notes like he wasnโt looking at you in the first place, and you end up feeling stupid. Fearful of what Minhoโ or really, youโ might do, as soon as class ends, you grab Terryโs wrist and practically pull him out of the door, ready to get out of there. Terry doesnโt question it, understanding the rationale for your actions. You appreciate that about him.
To make it up to Terry, you take him out to lunch, choosing a restaurant downtown. You love the views of the riverfront there, as well as their renowned spicy food. You block out the memory of all of the times you and Minho walked over here, hand in hand. You are entitled to lunch at your favorite restaurant, you remind yourself. Once youโre seated, the waiter comes over to your table.
โChefโs special soup, please. Level-three spice,โ you tell the waiter.
The waiter writes down your orders and walks away, leaving Terry to look at you with an amused expression. โLevel-three? The food here is already spicy.โ
You cross your arms. โI have a very high spice tolerance.โ
โAlright.โ
In no time at all, your waiter is back, setting down the food in front of you both. Terry immediately digs in, shoveling liberal spoonfuls of his mild fried rice into his mouth, leaving you to stare at your soup. You can practically smell the red pepper in the steam rising out of the bowl.
โHereโs my last warning before destruction,โ Terry says, squeezing a lemon onto his rice. โTry some rice.โ
You sit up, trying to look self-assured. โNonsense. I can do this.โ
Of course, you wish you hadnโt bragged so much, barely a few seconds after your first sip of the spicy broth. Your eyes start to tear up involuntarily, and Terry fills a glass of water from the iced pitcher and hands it over to you. You accept it, clumsily tipping the cool water into your mouth, as Terry gives you a knowing smile.
โArenโt you overdoing it?โ
The spoon in your hands nearly falls onto the floor in your shock at Terryโs words. โWhat did you just say?โ
Terry gives you an odd look. โUm, I said, โarenโt you overdoing it?โโ
You take a deep breath, the tears now flowing down your cheeks. But you know that theyโre not completely due to the soup. โWow.โ
โAre you okay, Y/N?โ Terry hands you a napkin, worry written on his face. He signals for the waiter to refill the water pitcher.
You smile ruefully. โYeah, I will be.โ
โI can handle it, Minho.โ You give him a glare, placing the napkin on your lap and scooting closer to the table. Itโs your first date with Minho, and you want to impress him so bad.
Minho nudges your leg with his own, and you try not to look flustered. โItโs okay if you want to order something else.โ
You stubbornly dig your spoon into the bowl, gathering a large helping of broth and noodles onto it. โYou like the soup here. So I want to eat it too.โ
He just laughs, watching intently as the clear signs of regret manifest on your face. โTold you so.โ
"What are you talking about?โ You narrow your eyes, unwilling to admit defeat, even though you really, really want to. You drink the soup in careful spoonfuls, pretending itโs too hot, but you struggle to speak even in between tiny sips. โThisโฆ is.. soโฆ delicious.โ
Minho is now hysterical, losing his mind laughing at the look on your face when you bite straight into a whole jalapeno. โArenโt you overdoing it?โ
โMinho, youโre so mean!โ You canโt bear it any longer, the tears gushing down your cheeks while you also laugh in both pain and genuine happiness at being here with Minho, at making him laugh.ย
โAlright, alright.โ Minho quickly goes and gets a large glass of chilled apple juice from the bar, handing it to you.ย
When youโre finally calmed down, you wipe your mouth with your napkin and set the spoon down, metaphorically waving a white flag. You skip straight to dessert, opting to soothe your taste buds with cold ice cream, all while watching Minho in awe as he easily finishes his own bowl of soup. After paying for dinner, Minho takes you to a secluded section of the rocky beach bordering the river that runs straight through the city. You both walk in a comfortable silence, still at that point where your hands slightly touch as you walk, unsure of just holding each other like you so want them to.ย
You look over at Minho, suddenly self-conscious. At this point, you see no point in faking anything; heโs seen you literally sob over a bowl of soup. โAbout the soupโฆ I promise Iโm not a braggy show-off. Honestly, I just wanted to impress you. Guess I did the opposite, though.โ
โWhat are you talking about?โ Minho shakes his head, all laughter from before gone. โIโve never met someone who ate a bowl of soup here just because I like it. Not even Chan would try it, and heโs my best friend.โ
You blush, illuminated by the combination of the moonlight and the glittering city surrounding. โThank you.โ
Minho stops walking, turning around to face you. โI know I told you this when I asked you to go out with me, but I suck at using my words, so Iโm sorry.โ
You copy his movement so youโre looking him directly in the eye. โI understand you, words or not.โ
Minho looks down at the rocky ground, secretly fighting his own insecurities. โIโm trying, but Iโฆ I admit Iโm not great at this.โ
You try not to show how utterly charmed you are by his bashfulness. โTo be honest, neither am I. Youโre actually the first person Iโve ever gone out with. Nobodyโs really been into me before.โ
โSeriously?โ Minho looks shocked.ย
You now wonder if divulging that information in him was wise. Definitely not. โYeah.โ
Minho kicks a pebble into the river, watching it sink into the water. โIdiots.โ
You blink. โSorry?โ
He scoffs, looking back at you. โI donโt know what kind of idiots you were hanging around before. How could no one be into you?โ
You shrug, embarrassed. Your heart feels heavy, thinking of the things people used to say to you, thinking they were being funny but not realizing how much mere words were hurting you. โIโm kind of undateable, I guess. People tend to gravitate towards Soyeon. They say Iโm more of the comedic relief. I donโt blame them, though. Sheโs perfect.โ
Minho gives you an unreadable expression. โYou have no idea.โ
โOf what?โ
He crosses that miniscule space between you both, answering you in a different way than you expect. His lips are full and sweet, and he tastes like your coffee ice cream that he stole a few bites from. The surprise you harbor quickly melts away when you shut your eyes, wrapping your arms around his neck as he circles his around your waist. If it took this long to find the right person, then so be it. And you donโt know if you can say that thisโ your first kiss everโ is like the movies; it feels even better.ย
โI may not be good with words, but I can say this: you are perfect.โ
โYou look kind of stupid,โ Hyunjin says, cackling at Minhoโs struggle to look over the top of the box in his hands while coordinating his movements.ย
Minho gives Hyunjin a sharp look in response. โAnd you look ready to go into the air fryer.โ
Hyunjin immediately tosses his phone aside and scurries over to where Minho is, taking the box out of his hands and transporting it into Minhoโs designated bedroom with ease, looking over his shoulder fearfully as he goes. Minho smiles to himself, satisfied.ย
He follows Hyunjin into the room, finding the latter boy dramatically smoothing out the bedsheets and straightening the pillows. Hyunjin side-eyes Minhoโs entrance, earning him a smack on the backside and a great reason to get out of the room, leaving Minho in peace.
Minho quickly unpacks, neatly folding his clothes and stacking them in the closet, before organizing the rest of his belongings around the room. When he finishes, he falls back onto his new bed, staring up at the ceiling fan and observing it whir. Out of everything thatโs happened, he knows he should be thankful; although Hyunjin is the designated comedian of their friend groupโ along with Jisung, of courseโ he values his privacy incredibly. So when Hyunjin offered to rent out a room in his apartment to Minho, he couldnโt believe his luck. Then again, he wishes he wasnโt in this position to begin with.
Earlier today, Chan insisted on going out to catch the football game that their university hosted. Minho had agreed, with nothing better to doโ besides, he noticed that Chan was also having a rough start to his day, after being locked in the campus library all night with his co-president that he always conflicted with. Chan had stayed quiet for the entire time, staring out the window on the ride to the home game, but at least he had a happy ending. By the end of the game, things had changed for Chan, and for the better: heโd amended things with his co-president, and of everything that could have happened, they even emerged from the stadium as a couple. For Minho, however, things had been quite different.
Namely, thereโs a new replacement for Minho. He saw you walk into class with Kang Taehyun yesterday, and heโd been so anxious to not let you see his reaction that he immediately busied himself with his backpack. The entire time, however, he was watching you both whisper to each other during class. He darkly observed Taehyun scribble something onto the corner of your notebook, and it had made you laugh. That was what Minho used to do all the time. By the end of class, Minho considered confronting you right then and there, without caring about anyone else, but you ran out of class with Taehyun before he could even move.
And to make things even worse, he saw you and Taehyun together at the game. Minho had to resist the urge to march down to your section and slap the flirtatious smile off of Taehyunโs face. But more than anything, he wanted to ask you if it was true. Did you really already start to move on with a new man? Is Minho really that replaceable to you?
โHey, what are you up to?โ Hyunjin cautiously sticks his head into the room, snapping Minho out of his reverie.
โNothing much. Whatโs up?โ
Hyunjin steps into the room, his silky shirt and pressed trousers a stark contrast to Minhoโs soft blue t-shirt and gym shorts. โWanna go to the convenience store with me? I ran out of snacks.โ
โYou and your snacks,โ Minho teases, chasing after Hyunjin when he sticks his tongue in retaliation.
A few minutes later, Hyunjin successfully drags Minho into the convenience store, disappearing into the junk food aisles to get his fix and leaving Minho to wander around the store. Following the twisting row of frozen foodstuffs, Minho turns and crashes straight into you.
โMinho?โ Your eyes widen.
Minho clears your throat, trying not to gaze at you like youโre a returned long-lost love. You are indeed lost to him, but he had class with you merely the day before. He needs to get a grip on himself. โYou dropped this.โ
He kneels down, picking up the tub of ice cream, and hands it to you after inspecting the flavor label. โStrawberry? You hate strawberry.โ
You take it back hastily. โYeah. You always loved it, though.โ
That doesnโt satisfy Minhoโs rampant irritation. โYou wouldnโt even touch strawberry ice cream with a ten-foot pole before. What changed?โ
โI just wanted to try something new,โ you say, with what Minho observes as guilt.
Before Minho can respond, the person he wants to see the least rounds the corner and interrupts you both.ย
โI promise, the strawberry ice cream here is amazing andโ oh.โ Taehyun walks up to where you are, standing slightly between you and Minho, before he looks down at you, ignoring Minho. โAm I interrupting something? I can go away.โ
You shake your head, flaring the rage in Minho. โItโs fine. You can stay.โ
โSo youโll eat strawberry ice cream with him, but not me.โ Minho rolls his eyes, the humiliation inside him swelling like a balloon.
โHey man, itโs nothing like that. I know she doesnโt like strawberry ice cream that much, but I practically threatened her to try it. J'adore strawberries,โ Taehyun says in a joking tone, but Minho doesnโt miss the protective glint in his eye.
Minho has never been a violent person, but he balls his fists. The nerve. โWho the fuck even are you? You donโt know anything aboutโโ
โWhat is your problem, Minho?โ You cut in angrily. โIf youโre mad at me, then be mad at me. Donโt take your frustrations out on Terry.โ
What you said is perfectly sensible, Minho knows that. He doesnโt have anything against Taehyun at all; he doesnโt even know the guy. But all logic is thrown out of the window when it comes to you.
โTerry?โ Minho scoffs at the nickname. โYou know what, I am mad at you. Because seriously? Kang Taehyun? He isnโt even your type.โ
Before Taehyun can say anything else, you respond to Minhoโs jab, sarcasm dripping from your voice. โRight, because you were so perfect for me.โ
The words hit him like a sledgehammer, and Minho starts in surpriseโ youโve never talked to him like that before, ever. And neither has he. The regret is evident on your face as you shake your head, frustrated, like that came out wrong.
โI got the snacks!โ Hyunjin announces suddenly, waltzing into the aisle, before he notices you standing there with Taehyun. โWhatโs going on here?โ
You and Taehyun stay quiet, adding onto Minhoโs misery. He wants you to say something, anything. He doesnโt even want an apology; he knows he absolutely deserved that insult. Still, Minho canโt help that horrible feeling rising inside of him.
โLetโs just go.โ Minho turns on his heel and walks out of the store, before waiting to finish the conversation, Hyunjin following closely behind. He doesnโt bother looking back.
Hyunjin doesnโt say anything to Minho, falling silent in the rapidly approaching night. At times like this, Minho prefers to be left alone. But he isnโt, really. Not with the truth leaning over his shoulder, like an angelic superego. He tries not to think of it, however, or the fact that his heart is falling apart so violently in his chest. Although you and Minho are not together anymore, youโve both now fulfilled a milestone: hurt each other beyond repair.
The convenience store encounter with Minho left you feeling guiltier than ever, even more than when you actually broke up with him. You should have been more understanding towards Minho; after suddenly ending things, you appear out with Terry. Even though you donโt see Terry like that, you are well aware of how it can look to Minho. After all, youโd react similarly if you found out that Minho and Minju are dating. But you hadnโt, because you know that Minho would never do that to you.ย
You sigh, shutting the door to your room and collapsing onto your bed. After the whole incident, the air between you and Terry had been pretty awkward. While you still donโt know much about Terry, including his intentions, the topic of a romance had never been broached until Minho did it for you. Heโd walked you back to your apartment, before wishing you a goodnight.ย
Your phone sounds with a text, and you pick it up, curling into your pillow. Itโs Terry.
terrypotter: just checking up on you
terrypotter: how are you doing?
bobaluvrr: better, thanks for asking
terrypotter: glad to hearย
terrypotter: and i also want to say that iโm sorry for any role i might have played in what happened today
bobaluvrr: youโre good, terry. it wasnโt about you. iโm sorry for bringing you in
There is truth to this. No matter how much it feels like third parties have an avenue in furthering the split between you and Minho, the problem has always been internal. Itโs truly between you both, hence, youโre not a couple anymore.
bobaluvrr: letโs change the subject?
terrypotter: ofc
terrypotter: wanna play would you rather?
You laugh in spite of yourself. It feels good to laugh, to distract yourself, but Minho stays like a stubborn mirage in your mind. Neverthelessโ
bobaluvrr: game on.
terrypotter: beaches or mountains?
bobaluvrr: beaches
terrypotter: sweet or salty?
bobaluvrr: are u kidding? my username? boba??
terrypotter: LOL sweet then
bobaluvrr: yes.
terrypotter: spring or autumn?
bobaluvrr: spring, duh
terrypotter: and lastly, dogs or cats?
bobaluvrr: DOGS
terrypotter: u are 100% correct
terrypotter: all of our answers are the exact same LMFAO
You think back to your first date with Minho. Before the whole soup fiasco, the atmosphere had been so awkward while waiting for the soup to arrive. This was months of tension and pining between you both, and now that the apex had arrived, neither of you were sure of what to say. Without thinking, Minho broke the silence by randomly asking you if you liked dogs or cats better. You were automatically enchanted by the bashful look on his face. From there on, for every single question he asked you, both of you had the exact opposite answers. For the longest time, your differences had felt charming, before they werenโt.ย
Terry, on the other hand, shares so many similarities with you, beyond the strawberry ice cream betrayal. Both of you are outgoing, have a similar sense of humor, and like to be unabashedly yourselves. If a romance did ever blossom between you and Terry, if your friendship lasts your current heartbreak, you could be happy with him, maybe. You would never be insecure, worrying about whatโs going on in his mind, because he would talk to you directly. You appreciate that so much about him. But whenever you look into his eyes, or whenever your hand accidentally brushes his, you donโt feel that electricity that had always coursed through you when you were with Minho. Youโve been searching for it everywhere since, but that spark just isnโt there; Taehyunโs just not Minho. Your heart calls out to Minho, no matter how much you wish it wouldnโt, and you canโt deny it any longer.
If thereโs one thing that Minho has learned in the duration of his college years, itโs that work has no tolerance for those special ailments of the heart. His professors donโt give a crap about the fact that his girlfriend dumped him, or that his girlfriend has now apparently moved on with some pink-haired stud. No matter how much he wants to slam his laptop screen down and fall asleep to the rhythm of his shattered heart, he knows he canโt. His term paper will not write itself, and it matters, especially since heโll be graduating this year.
โWhat will you do when we graduate?โ You set down your iPad, flexing your fingers.
โA job at a good company. And then one day, my own business.โ That familiar, dreamy look mists Minhoโs eyes.ย
You smile at him. โMy handsome CEO.โ
Minho tapped your nose with his finger, following it with a soft kiss there. โYou are so cute.โ
โI know.โ You peek down at his notebook thatโs full of graphs and lengthy strings of numbers. โThis looks complicated.โ
โWelcome to the life of a business and economics double major,โ Minho laughs. โBut youโre literally a pre-med student. Iโm not going to complain when you have to memorize human anatomy and random proteins.โ
โDonโt remind me.โ You dramatically shudder, giggling at Minho. โBut I donโt care, as long as one day, youโre CEO Lee, and Iโm Dr. Lee.โ
Your words shock both you and Minho, invoking a moment of charged silence. You both have never talked about getting married before. But before you can backtrack, a slow smile spreads across Minhoโs face. โDr. Leeโฆ has a ring to it, donโt you think?โ
You turn a bright red, but lean into Minho, kissing him sweetly on the lips. โDefinitely.โ
Minho clears his throat and shakes yet another memory of you away, trying to concentrate on the email open in front of him. Just minutes ago, heโd received notice that heโd been chosen for a position at Google, following graduation. Fucking Google. Every business major would kill for a job at Google. And not only that, but his employer noted in the message that they usually donโt even extend offers this early in the year, but made an exception for him because they wanted him so much.ย
For a moment, he forgot all about the angst of the previous day, giddily jumping off his bed in a rare display of emotion, even if nobody else was around. And then he reached for his phone, opening up your contact and preparing to type in a text to you; for months, you knew Minho was anxious about his application to Google. But then he remembers himself; heโs now someone in your past.
Minho swallows roughly, staring at the blank space where his response accepting the offer should be. A moment later, he decides heโll respond to the email later. But he doesnโt even have any time to chide himself before he notices someone standing in front of him.ย
โMinju?โย
She looks down at him, either oblivious to his confusion or choosing to ignore it. โHey. Am I interrupting something?โ
Minho nods, waiting for Minju to sit down and get settled into her chair, trying not to let his bewilderment show.
At Jihyoโs party, he had needed some air after that stupid game of Truth or Dare, and even worse, your reaction to the question asked of him. Minho had escaped to the balcony, hoping for a moment alone, when Minju approached him. When she launched into a conversation with him about school, Minho realized that you probably never told Minju about the break-up. So he excused himself as politely as he could, explaining that you and him both broke up. He never really considered Minju as his own friend, and did not expect Minju to pursue a relationship with him any further.
โIโll get straight to the point, Minho.โ Minju exhales, looking him directly in the eye. โI like you.โ
Minho sits up immediately, shocked. โWhat did you just say?โ
Minju purses her lips. โI like you, and I always have. Go out with me.โ
Minho shakes his head in disbelief, the confusion fading into anger. โYouโre Y/Nโs friend. How could you do this to her? How can you even look at yourself?โ
โYouโre not together anymore, it doesnโt matter,โ Minju says, her voice wavering.
He scoffs, packing up his belongings and shoving them carelessly into his bag. โDonโt talk to me again.โ
Minju grabs the sleeve of Minhoโs jacket as he turns to leave, desperation in her eyes. โBe with me instead. Iโll make you forget her.โ
Minho shakes her free, giving her a look of both pity and disgust. โI still love her, and I always will.โ
And with that, Minho leaves without looking back, walking slowly and deliberately in thought. Was this what you meant when you told him that you werenโt sure if you were the only one? Was Minju the reason for the love of his life leaving him? A strange mix of both fury and hope washes over Minho as he exits the library and breaks into a run, barely eight out of his eight-thousand word essay written.
After you broke up with Minho, you forgot one very crucial detail: you didnโt unlink him from your Google calendar. One of the few things you both share in common is your organization, and when you were together, you both loved to plan things together and very ceremoniously add them to your shared online calendar. It became a game, trying to guess where the other was at random times, judging by their schedule. More often than not, the calendar proved to be a very useful tool in pinpointing each otherโs locations. Itโs why the brief surprise of seeing Minho standing outside your apartment door in the middle of the day on a weekday fades away quickly. You donโt have any classes scheduled today.
โY/N,โ he pants, leaning against the doorframe.ย
โMinho. What are you doing here?โ You cross your arms, resisting the urge to rush forward and hug him in all of his puffer coat glory. You used to make fun of him for that coat, all the time.
โI needed to see you. Minju told me,โ Minho lowers his eyes, as if heโs nervous. โI need you to know that there was nothing going on with her. You have always been my only one. I promise. No one else. I miss you.โ
Your heart wrenches in desire and nostalgia at the sincerity of his eyes. Of course you knew that he never cheated on you; this is Minho. But thatโs not the reason why you have to remind yourself, once more, that you arenโt right for each other. Not in the long run. โI miss you too. And I know you didnโt cheat on me.โ
Minhoโs eyes fill with what you recognize as a mix of despair and tears, because after all, youโve felt it in you too, before. โThen why? Why end it?โ
โI feel like you donโt love me as much as I love you.โ
The wheels turning inside of Minhoโs mind and searching for possible reasons, immediately crash to a stop. โWhat?โ
You shrug, drawing back your hands to tuck them into your lap, a habit that Minho has observed whenever you are nervous. โRemember when we were at that picnic with all of your friends? And Jisung and his girlfriend were also there? We were playing a question game.โ
Minho nods slowly, still confused. โI do.โ
โFelix had asked all the guys to think of why they love their girlfriends.โ You look down at your hands, embarrassed. โChangbin had a whole list of reasons. But when it was your turn to speak, you had no answer.โ
The recollection comes back to Minho like a tsunami. He hadnโt really ever thought much of that day; he always had trouble talking about personal things in front of other people, and he thought you already knew why he loved you. He didnโt know his inability to share something like that could hurt you so much, especially when he can write a whole book of reasons for why he loves you. Your smile. Your endless generosity. Your never ending patience for Minhoโs antics. The way you always see the best in people, and how you light up the whole room when you walk in.
โBaby,โ Minho starts, before realizing that he doesnโt have the right to call you that anymore. Reluctantly, he continues, using your name instead. โY/N, I have trouble talking in front of other people. I love you so much, and if you know that, itโs all that really matters. A stupid game doesnโt change that.โ
You laugh, but thereโs no humor in it. โBut see, Minho, I donโt know. I donโt know how youโre feeling half the time. Felixโs question was just the icing on the cake. Iโm exhausted from wondering. Wondering if you love me. Wondering if I really know you. Just wondering all the time. I shouldnโt feel that way.โ
Iโll try harder to be more open. Iโll work on myself. I justโ please believe me.โ
โI do believe that youโll try, Min. Itโs who you are. But I canโt force you to be someone youโre not, and you canโt force me to want different things. Weโll only end up hurting each other more.โ Your eyes fill with tears. โIt hurts to love you.โ
Minho flinches at your words, and he sees the sorrow in your eyes, but you say nothing to soothe the burn. Nevertheless, he keeps trying, as if he didnโt notice the determination written in your gaze as well. โI know I was senseless. But pleaseโ Iโm begging you. Donโt do this. Donโt leave, not again.โ
You look away from him, a single tear sliding down your cheek, as Minho tries to hold back his own. The whole scene feels disturbingly like a few days ago, when you broke up with him in Morningstar. He had hoped it wouldnโt come to this.ย
โI tried to understand you. I did. But donโt you think that being senseless about everything that was going on also means that you were that indifferent towards me?โ You scrub at your face to keep from crying even more.
Minho cringes, hearing the truth in your words. Once upon a time, he cherished the silence you both could share comfortably, working independently in the happy company of each other. Now the quiet hangs in the air like smog, a heavy uneasiness that he never imagined around you. โI really thought I could change. I swear.โ
You nod, a brisk movement that doesnโt match the tears glistening on your face. โYou should go now. Please.โ
And you turn your head, as if you canโt bear to watch him any longer. Minho turns, his head hanging down like heโs a sinner. A small, ugly voice in Minho whispers that he truly is one, for hurting you and letting you go. It implores him to fall at your feet and stay, insisting, breaking at you until you crumble into his arms, taking him back. But the part of him that carries the resolve is stronger by a thread, the one that fuels his despondent retreat from your heart.
Later, holed away in the place he would now have to call his home, Minho is left alone in the bed that heโd once believed to belong to you as much as it did to him. The nights cuddled together and the mornings after, when you woke up to each other in a halo of sunlight, all fade away into the prickling solitude that now constitutes his new reality. There is nothing left for him to do now, except looking out at the sky through his tiny bedroom window, wondering if you were both gazing at the same moon in the separate worlds you both now are in. Heโd left you one last message before promising himself that heโd never text you again, and thankfully, you never responded. He didnโt think you would.
catservant98: Iโll always love you.
โThe festival will end by the time we get there.โ Jeongin lets out an exaggerated sigh, making a show of checking the watch on his wrist.
โShut up. I need to lock this place up properly or my parents will kill me,โ Seungmin mutters grumpily, as he carefully turns the key in the lock to Morningstar, taking his time. โItโs not my fault that Iโm the ownerโs son.โ
Jeongin, donned in a Harley Quinn outfit, bounces on his toes in uncontained anticipation. โHurry up!โ
Seungmin tugs at the lock for good measure, before turning and swatting at Jeongin, who yelps and jumps out of the way. His detective hat, which he wore as a part of his Sherlock Holmes costume, falls off, and Jeongin grabs it. Usually, Minho would have laughed at the way Seungmin has started to chase Jeongin around, but he just glumly stares down at his sneakers, having no energy to join in.ย
โYou okay?โ Chan notices Minhoโs downcast gaze, slinging his arm around his shoulders. โYou donโt have to come if you donโt want to.โ
Minho shrugs with one shoulder, out of options. โIโm fine. I have nothing else to do anyway.โ
Today is Halloween, your favorite holiday of the entire year. It seems especially cruel to him, to have to confront this day without you by his side. It was never much of his scene, and heโd always been reluctant to dress up, but one look from your pleading eyes and heโd fold, decking himself in a cheesy costume and feeding you all the candy you desired. The night would always end in you both binging horror movies together because you were too scared to watch alone. The memory of Minho getting distracted, just watching you hide behind your hands the entire time, used to bring a fond smile to his face. Today, it makes him want to smash something into bits.
โLet me know if you want to leave the festival early, though. Changbin can drive you home later.โ Chan juts his chin out at Jeongin and Seungmin, who are now smacking at each other, while Changbin responsibly tries to pull them apart. โI have to make sure those two idiots donโt get in trouble.โ
โThanks. But you donโt have to worry about me.โ Minho gives Chan a half-hearted smile. Chan looks hesitant, like he wants to keep talking with him, but he nods, focusing on the moonlit path in front of them.ย
The roar of the annual Halloween festival that the university throws resonates throughout campus, drawing stressed students ready to throw aside their homework and party. But Minho is in anything but a celebratory mood; the last few weeks have been absolute agony. Ever since things fell apart. He just wants to go home and curl up into a ball under his covers, ready for this stupid night to be over. He didnโt even bother with a costume, choosing to stuff himself into his hoodie and make himself seem as small as possible. But heโs too tired to tell anyone, so he opts to stay quiet and gloomy on his own.
The gravel of the walkway crunches under their little groupโs shoes, barely heard over the deafening sound of โThrillerโ blasting on the DJโs stereo. The entire main lawn of campus has been converted into a party space, crammed with different tents full of attractions, games, and souvenirs for students to indulge themselves in. Thereโs even a converted frat house thatโs now a haunted house, as well as tables of snacks and lightsticks for people to wave around. Jeongin, Seungmin, and Changbin immediately zero in on the haunted house, running off to get tickets for it, leaving Minho and Chan alone. Two boys swaying together at the edge of the dance floor catch Minhoโs eyes. He looks closer and notices that they both are dressed in an obvious couples costume, and it makes him think of you againโ last year, he was Chucky and you were Tiffany Valentine, and you both won โBest Lookโ together, at the festivalโs costume contest. Minho feels sick to his stomach.
โOh my god, sheโs stunning.โ Chanโs eyes are wide, and Minho follows his gaze to a very pretty girl dressed in a white gown that seemed to float above her knees, two trailing pieces of fabric sticking out daintily from the back of her dress. An angel.ย
She approaches him with a shy smile on her face, as she not-so-subtly checks out Chanโs own dracula costume. โYou look good.โ
โIโ youโre pretty,โ Chan stutters, and they both blush.ย
Seriously?
โThanks, Chris.โ
Chan smiles lovingly at her. โYou donโt have to call me Chris, you know. My friends call me Chan.โ
โChan,โ the girl tests with a beam, before quirking her brow at him. โSo Iโm just a friend now? Not your girlfriend?โ
โYou drive me crazy, you know that?โย
And then they both start kissing right then and there, which doesnโt seem to faze anyone else around them, considering the fact that they are surrounded by other couples. Minho, however, has to look away, his stomach turning. Is this how everyone else felt when he used to kiss you, whenever and wherever he wanted?ย
โHey guys, Iโm going to go find a place to sit,โ Minho calls out to Chan, who barely notices in the midst of his make-out session. โYou know what? Never mind.โ
Cringing to himself, Minho makes his way over to the food tables, dodging at least five witches, seven ghouls, and six zombies on his way. He collapses onto the bench of an empty table with a groan, letting his head rest on the table before lifting it up like heโs been stung; the thump of the DJโs bass seems to vibrate through the wooden tabletop, worsening his already horrible headache. What was he thinking, coming here?
โYou seem to be enjoying yourself.โ
Minho looks up, ready to lash out at the intruder, before he notices itโs Hyunjin. He is so out of it that he hadnโt even recognized his voice. โI thought you were staying home and painting tonight?โ
โThought about it, but I kept getting distracted by all of the noise outside, and thought Iโd take a snack break.โ Hyunjin plops down on the seat across from him, setting a plate loaded with brownies, potato chips, and cookies cut into pumpkin shapes. Heโs dressed in plaid pajama pants and a baggy sweatshirt to fight the October chill, the only one besides Minho who hasnโt dressed up. โWant some?โ
Minho shakes his head, watching Hyunjin dig in. โCan I ask you a question?โ
Hyunjin nods, his cheeks stuffed with food. โSure.โ
โDonโt you ever get lonely?โ Minho fiddles with the strings of his hoodie, feeling his face heat up. He was never one for sentiments like this, but even though he and Hyunjin have more of a seemingly lighthearted relationship, theyโre more alike than they think in how deeply they care about each other. โI mean, youโve never even had a serious relationship before, but youโre like the most hopeless romantic Iโve ever met. How does that even work?โ
Hyunjin looks surprised, at first, but quickly smooths it away in understanding. โI do get lonely sometimes. But I just occupy myself with the things I love. Painting, reading. Just because Iโm a hopeless romantic doesnโt mean I canโt be realistic. And I have been in a serious relationship before, remember?โ
Minho frowns. โOh. Right. What happened?โ
He notices Hyunjinโs eyes flicker with somethingโ grief, maybe. But the emotion is quickly replaced with indifference. Hyunjin shrugs. โLetโs just say it didnโt work out. I love a good romance novel, but is it real life? No. I donโt do relationships. Not anymore.โ
Minho stays quiet, unknowing of what to say. He never thought of himself as a huge relationship person either, but then again, that was before he met you. You changed his perspective on a lot of things, and most of the time, he thought it was for the better. Now, he feels empty, alone. He wants to match costumes with someone, and go bobbing for apples together. And he wants that someone to be you, only you.
Hyunjin must have noticed Minhoโs melancholic contemplation, because he gives him a sympathetic look. โIs this about Y/N?โ
Minhoโs chest tightens at the mention of your name. โI donโt know, honestly. I just want to go home.โ
โSame. I just came for the free food.โ Hyunjin chews on a brownie, before swallowing. โLetโs go after I finish eating.โ
Minho hums in response, pulling his hood over his head, as the rest of their group comes to join the table. Chan and his girlfriend, unsurprisingly, are discussing plans about some upcoming event for the Student Council. Jeongin and Seungmin, on the other hand, are immersed in a gleeful recollection about the haunted house with Changbin, who is dressed up as Woody from Toy Story. Everyone seems to have a role except him.
โThat was actually wild,โ Jeongin says. โIf Jisung was with us, he would have fainted when he saw the chainsaw guy!โ
Seungmin shudders, while Changbin glances around their table. โHey, where is Jisung, anyway? And Felix?โ
Chan breaks away from his own conversation as his girlfriend pauses to eat her slice of cake. โHeโs handing out candy to kids at home. Meanwhile, Felix is Trick-or-Treating.โ
Jeongin snickers. โTrick-or-Treating? What is he, ten?โ
Seungmin grins evilly at Changbin. โAt least he doesnโt have the height of a ten year old.โ
Changbin rolls his eyes, but chooses to ignore Seungmin and Jeonginโs high-five at his expense, instead turning to Hyunjin. โCan I have a cookie? There are no more left.โ
Hyunjin gives him a judgemental glare, but passes a cookie over anyway. โWhereโs your girlfriend, by the way?โ
Changbin stuffs half of the entire cookie into his mouth, licking the frosting on his lip. โShe has work. But weโre going to meet up later tonight and watch movies. Wanna come?โ
Hyunjin shakes his head. โIโm good. Minho and I are headed home soon anyway. Right, Minho?โ
But Minho isnโt paying attention. His gaze is locked on none other than you and Taehyun, dressed in Hogwarts robesโ you in Gryffindor, and Taehyun in Slytherin. Heโs seen multiple people tonight sporting similar getups, and so both of you wearing Hogwarts robes doesnโt exactly entail a couples costume, but it makes his heart clench either way. Both of you are standing near the apple bobbing station, laughing and talking animatedly together. It hurts to see you enjoying yourself, while Minho has to struggle to keep himself together, to keep from breaking down on the spot. It hurts that heโs not the one matching with you right now, the one to be making you laugh, holding you on one of your favorite days of the year.
He watches as you and Taehyun walk closer to the haunted house. Your smile has now faded into an unsure expression, skeptical and tinged with fear. Taehyun puts his arm around your shoulders, evidently trying to assure you, before he leads you inside the house. Minho immediately springs up from the bench, fists balled up at his sides. You love everything about Halloween, except for one thing. You hate being in the dark, and so you had always avoided the haunted houses at every Halloween festival or any other event that you and Minho went to. Obviously, Taehyun doesnโt have a clue about your boundaries, and as always, youโre too kind to point them out.
Ignoring Hyunjinโs confused protests, Minho stalks after you and Taehyun, even though he knows that he should sit right back down. He told himself that heโd stay away from you if you didnโt want him, but if he even gets the slight sense that you are afraid, heโll throw all reason out the window. He wonโt let you go inside, not without him.
โExcuse meโ you canโt go in right now. The haunted house is at full capacity.โ The ticket collector stops Minho even though he shows her the ticket that Jeongin had passed out to everyone before. โJust wait for a few minutes for someone to come out.โ
But he canโt. Not if youโre already inside. Minho steps back for a moment, and the collector glances back down at her phone. Before the collector can react, he rushes past her, running inside. She calls after him angrily, but he barely hears her. All he can register is the racing beat of his heart, and the faint screams deeper inside, wondering if one of them could be you.ย
He whips past the ax-wielding maniacs and the corpse brides in tattered dresses, pushing past their horrible acting and all of the other props in his way to you. Minho feels his hoodie snagged against a cloud of fake cobwebs, and the fake blood on the walls is enough to make him gag, but he goes on. A desperate search in nearly every nook and corner yields nothing, and Minho curses the haphazard quality of the setup, nearly tripping over a loose wire. As he passes through a room decorated like a murderous hospital room, he hears a small whimper from behind the fake operating table.ย
His senses perk up and there you are, sitting down with your knees drawn to your chest. With how his eyes have now adjusted to the dark, he can faintly make out your crouched body and the shine of your flowing tears. Immediately, he gets onto his knees, and envelopes you with his arms, firmly pulling you against his chest.
โY/N, itโs me,โ he murmurs, the scent of your coconut shampoo blocking out the stench of ammonia.
โTerry and I got chased by one of the ghosts and then got separated,โ you mumble as you cry, shivering in his arms as he begins to rock you slowly. โIโm so scared, Minho.โ
Minho looks at the tears still leaking down the sides of your face, and has to restrain himself from the instinct to kiss them away. Instead, he puts a steady hand to your skin, gently wiping them away. In this moment, you arenโt broken up. He isnโt your ex-boyfriend, and you arenโt his ex-girlfriend. You are the girl he loves, and him the very soul that has so vehemently devoted himself to even at such a ripe age, an inspiration and a shame to the vengeful spirits that govern your favorite holiday.
โIโm here now. Iโm not going to leave you.โ Minho gazes down at you. โAre you still frightened?โ
You shake your head no, wide eyes clinging to his comforting presence. Minho gives you a small smile, rubbing your jaw softly with his thumb, a movement that doesnโt feel as inherently romantic as it generally would be. โSee? Youโre not afraid of the dark. Youโre just scared of being alone in it. And that goes away when you realize something. Youโre never really alone.โย
Both of you just gaze at each other in the dark for a few minutes, saying both nothing and yet everything to each other. He carefully rests his palm against your heart, gaging the beat until it slows down to its usual calm. Wordlessly, he helps you onto your feet, his arms still wrapped around you as you both navigate the maze of the haunted house. You donโt encounter any other of the actors, but at one point, you jump in Minhoโs hold, spooked by the amplified horror sound when passing by a speaker. Steadily, you both make your way out together.
The first thing Minho sees as he steps out of the exit is the array of blinding lights that shine on his face, in addition to the glow of the raging bonfire that has now been set up for students to roast marshmallows. Then he catches that shock of pink hair in the small crowd gathered outside of the haunted house; Taehyun, distress written all over his features as he speaks to the security guards.
You and Minho, however, stay frozen on the spot, just staring at each other with a fresh uncertainty. Realizing himself, Minho lets go of you. Contrary to how you felt, Minho could always read you like a book. He practically memorized all of your expressions, able to tell how you were feeling in an instant. But the indecipherable look you give him is baffling, but before you can open your mouth and say something, Taehyun notices your arrival.
โY/N!โ Taehyun immediately rushes over, his breathing labored from sprinting the distance to you. โIโm so, so sorry; I lost you and tried to come back inside to find you, but they wouldnโt let me!โ
Minho steps to the side awkwardly as Taehyun hugs you tightly, squeezing his eyes shut. Your tears are long gone, and you pat his back softly, giving him the comfort of your safety. โIโm alright, Terry. Itโs all good.โ
Taehyun pulls back to look at you, before turning to Minho, surprise and confusion on his features as if just registering Minhoโs presence. You clear your throat, placing a hand on Taehyunโs arm. โHey, could you give us a minute?โ
โSure. Of course,โ Terry says, the stress on his face softening as he looks down at you. Minho recognizes itโ itโs how he always imagined himself to look whenever he saw you.
You turn back to Minho as Terry walks away to a food stand, presumably to get you a warm drink. โMinho, Iโโ
โIโm glad youโre okay,โ Minho interrupts, unable to bear any more. He chokes back a sob, his eyes trained on your pained expression. โI need to go.โ
โMinho, wait!โ You grab his arm, and it places you both in the uncomfortable dรฉjร vu of when everything ended.ย
He looks back at you, swallowing his dread and pushing away the angsty alert of his brain, the command to let everything go and just take you back, then and there. But he wouldnโt be the man you had always loved, then. Not if he takes advantage of you when youโre like this, vulnerable and exhausted. Not when thereโs a perfectly good man standing at a distance, hesitantly holding a cup of hot chocolate for you. Not when he knows that heโs lost his chance of ever getting you back from the moment he gave up on you both. Minho realizes that he doesnโt have the right to call you his anymore, when youโve finally found a man who prioritizes you over his pride and his insecuritiesโ a man who will treat you right, and will never make you wonder if youโre his only one. All heโs ever wanted is for you to be happy. That has to be enough for him. It will be.
Minho leans down before you can protest, kissing you on your forehead softly. You stay silent, looking up at him with those wide, inquisitive eyes, the very ones he fell in love with. โStay smiling, always.โ
And with that, Minho finally walks away, willing himself not to cry as he tries not to think of his heart breaking.
You watch Minho, dazed, as he walks away for the second and last time. It feels worse, somehow, than when he left your apartment, weeks ago. Minho had spoken to you so gently, inside the haunted house, calming you down in spite of the fact that you had so cruelly broken up with him, and then he proceeded to wish you his best, before leaving. You didnโt miss that note of finality in his voice, the one that told you that he wasnโt going to go back on his word. He had let you go.
You barely notice Terry approaching you, placing a warm hand on your shoulder. โIs everything okay?โ
He hands you a cup of hot chocolate, as you stare at Minhoโs retreating back before it finally disappears within the crowd of partygoers. โEverythingโs fine. Thanks for this, Terry.โ
Terry blinks at you, slightly unfocused. โYeah of course. Butโฆ can I ask you something?โ
You nod, sipping the hot chocolate. Itโs so warm and sweet, and it feels wrong to be drinking it. It feels like you donโt deserve it.ย
He hesitates for a moment, before speaking up. โWhat happened in there? In the haunted house?โ
You bite your lip, still distracted by the thought of Minho; Terryโs question doesnโt pull at you as much as it probably should. โHe just found me and helped me back. Thatโs all.โ
Terry looks like he wants to say something else, but he doesnโt, and you donโt question it. The rest of the night is clouded by an awkward rut that has originated from nowhere at all, one that you never guessed youโd experience with Terry. He walks you back to your apartment early, and waits next to you as you fumble with your keys.ย
โGood night, Y/N,โ he says softly, as you finally wrestle your door open.ย
โThanks,โ you whisper back, too drained of energy to make one of the usual jokes traded when you both say goodbye. He tips his head at you like he always does, albeit in a less jaunty way, and steps into the apartment elevator at the end of the hall, flashing you one last little wave before the doors close.ย
You turn back to your apartment, walking inside and locking the door behind you once again. This time, you donโt go straight to your bedroom and drop onto your bed, like you always do after a horrible day. Instead, you stalk over to the kitchen, which is illuminated by a single, flickering lightbulb. You tug open the freezer, fishing out a box from your emergency stash of ice cream, the one thing bound to be on stock at all times. When you went grocery shopping some time ago, you didnโt think that a crisis would hit so soon.ย
Cracking open the lid of the chocolate ice cream, you take your scooper and place a bowl on the counter. After a second thought, you take out your blender as well, and scrape the ice cream into there instead, throwing in some milk and peanut butter as well. Tonight is a milkshake kind of night, you think, the kind that necessitates butterscotch chips and whipped cream as well, you note, opening the cupboard to get said ingredients. When you finish blending, you pour your icy salvation into a large tumbler and collapse onto the living room couch. You turn on the television, blankly staring at the screen while barely registering the dialogue playing.ย
โThatโs not a milkshakeโ thatโs diabetes in a glass.โย
โDonโt knock it โtill youโve tried it.โ You shoot Minho a pointed look as you chug down your shake, savoring the sound of Minhoโs laughter even more than a hefty peanut butter and chocolate combo.ย
It isnโt until you taste saltiness instead of the sweet milkshake that you realize youโre crying.ย
callmeterry: can we meet?
bobaluvrr: yes. see u @ morningstar
You stare into the bathroom mirror, checking your face one last time, inspecting it for bloodshot eyes and dry skin, the telltale signs of the tears that have now become a habit over the past few days. Ever since Halloween, things havenโt been the same since you and Terry. Although a fairly new friendship, you both spent a significant amount of time together after meeting at Jihyoโs birthday party. However, you havenโt seen each other at all outside of Writing Seminar nowadaysโ probably because during class, youโre too busy staring at Minho, who wonโt even spare you a single glance. Youโre determined to at least save your friendship with Terry, which is why you are so quick to agree to meet him.
โCatch you two later,โ you call out to Sunoo and Soyeon, who both are slumped on the couch, watching One Piece over boxes of takeout butter chicken.ย
The journey to Morningstar doesnโt take long, especially since the vastly approaching night has gotten you nearly jogging, regardless of how safe your college campus is. Although itโs been nearly a month and a half, you still canโt get used to not having the security and comfort of your boyfriend. Serves you right, you think.
You enter through the glass doorway of Morningstar, the door chime ringing and announcing your entrance to Terry. He stands up from the table heโs sitting at, walking over to you with theย genuine smile that you were fearful of not being able to see again. Terry looks heartbreakingly handsome, dressed in a long brown coat and wool scarf, an ode to the plaid shirt days and hot chocolate nights that you know you could have with him.
โHi,โ he says, pausing his gait when heโs a few feet away from you. Tentative, but still Terry. The bouquet of assorted flowers in his hands, however, isnโt.ย
You can literally feel your face fall, as you stare at the certainly expensive arranged red roses and lilies. โIโโ
โDonโt.โ Terryโs smile doesnโt fade, but the slight sheen of moisture to his eyes is new. โ I know. Iโd rather not hear you say it. Please.โ
Youโre speechless as he hands you the flowers, the refreshingly floral scent wafting up and screaming at you to wake up. You had a feeling, you knew how Terry felt about you. But you didnโt think heโd act on those feelings so soon.
โYou know, Iโve been in love with you since August. You walked into the very first day of class late, wearing this gorgeous pink dressโ and God, I was so whipped. I even dyed my hair the same color.โ Terry laughs lightly, but you can see the heaviness in his eyes, the same thing that you feel in your chest. โI didnโt approach you, though, because I saw the way you were looking at Minho.โ
You shake your head, still in disbelief. โTerryโฆโ
โAnd then you walked into the kitchen at that party; it felt like a sign. But that canโt have been true, because the way you looked at him didnโt change. It never will.โ He stops for a moment, taking in a shaky breath. โWhen you both broke up, I ignored my heart telling me not to dig myself deeper into this, to leave you alone. But I couldnโt, Y/N, because I thought that the risk would be worth it. And it was, you know. You are worth it.โ
โIโm sorry,โ you whisper, at a loss for words. You donโt know what else to say, whether itโs a reaction to how your friend is pouring out his heart to you, or the fact that heโs always known that youโd never be his.
The smile on Terryโs face is now a sharp contrast to the strings of tears that mar it. โDonโt be. Itโs Minho. Itโs always been Minho for you.โย
He turns, but you rush forward and block him. You canโt lose someone else. Not again. โTerry, wait! Canโt we be friends?โย
โOf course we can be. Iโd rather have you as a friend than not in my life at all. Iโll move on, eventually. But you have to go fix things with him now.โ He flashes you another one of his signature beams. It doesnโt have the same joyful effect on you as it usually does, now that itโs tainted with sadness. โIโll see you next class. Hold onto him, okay?โ
Terry leaves, and you stare after him at the door, dumbfounded, haunting the entryway of the coffee shop nearing closing hours. You never saw this confrontation coming, not today. And you didnโt want it to happen any time soon, not like this. But no matter how much you want to deny Terryโs words, you know they are the truth. You know what you have to do. Because love works in strange ways, you realize, and now yours needs to be made right.
โWe shouldnโt be here.โ You say, shaking your head. โItโs dangerous.โ
Minho just stares at you, his eyebrow skeptically quirked in a way that shouldnโt be as attractive as it is. โItโs literally just a bridge.โ
You glare at him, before looking out at the arched walkway that connects the wooded expanse of the university library to the rest of campus. According to university lore, any pair of lovers that walks over Forsaken Bridge together is doomed to suffer an untimely separation; hence, its ominous name. And you would rather look stupid for believing in superstition rather than risk losing Minho.ย
โIt canโt be.โ You cross your arms stubbornly. โI know so many couples that came here, and they ended up breaking up.โ
Minho says nothing for a moment, just pondering your words, and you think heโs about to step back, allowing you to cross the bridge first, before following on his own. But then he grabs your hand, pulling you towards the bridge.
Your immediate reaction is to let out a small scream that cuts through the quiet night, and itโs quickly muffled by Minhoโs hand gently closing over your mouth. โTrust me on this. Nothing bad will happen.โ
You really want to remind Minho of what happened to Hyunjin and his girlfriendโ well, ex-girlfriendโ but you let him lead you towards your dreaded destination. Because you do trust him, more than anything.ย
The balmy summer night sticks to your skin, a feeling that will soon give away to the crisp bite of autumn. Youโve already moved back onto campus to get a headstart on the teaching assistant position for your biology professor, but for the first time ever, you donโt feel sad or apprehensive at the thought of going back to college again. This was the gap in time that you once despised because it signaled the unfortunate trudge of school life: textbooks, homework, and stress. But nowadays, you think it to be a reminder of something better: Minho, Minho, and Minho.
Your boyfriend takes an easy step onto the bridge, his hand tightly clasped in yours. You trail after him more cautiously, hiding behind his broad frame like the bridge will come alive and attack you. โYou better not ever break up with me, Lee Minho.โ
He turns back to look at you as you both near the center of the supposedly cursed bridge, his lips pressed together in a way that suggests concealed laughter; knowing him, it probably is. โNever. Now close your eyes.โ
With a grumpy sigh, you oblige him, shutting your eyes. โFor what, Minho?โ
โI need to tell you something.โ His voice is soft, almost vulnerable. Itโs a new color to him, compared to how assured and confident he always seems to be.
You crack open one eye, looking at him curiously. โWhat is it?โ
He frowns, letting go of your hand. โNo peeking!โ
โOkayy.โ
Minho takes a deep breath, right before he turns your world upside down. โI love you.โ
Your eyes fly open, and Minho doesnโt complain this time, only gazing at you nervously, clutching his right arm with his left hand like heโs a little kid again. โWhat did you just say?โ
Regardless of his uncertain body language, he looks you directly in the eye. โI love you, Y/N. And I know itโs too soon to say it, but itโs true. I love you, and you donโt have to tell me back, butโโ
โI love you too,โ you blurt out, and you both just stare at each other for a moment, in mutual shyness and surprise. You canโt believe how good it feels to finally say the words that were hanging off the tip of your tongue for the past few months since you started dating.
Minhoโs beautiful face breaks out into a dazzling smile as he steps closer to you. โThen letโs make our own story for this bridge. Two people crossing the bridge together will be lifelong friends. And if they kiss, lifelong lovers.โ
Your poor, racing heart canโt take anymore of this; what a man that you have found. โKiss me, then.โย
Minho gives you a tender look, and in that moment, you wish you had a camera to capture it. You canโt seem to remember your initial fear of coming onto this bridge, not when you have a beautiful boy who gazes at you with nothing short of absolute adoration. Youโll follow him anywhere, if it means youโll stay together. Always and forever.
From when you were a little girl, your parents painted fairy tales for you in your childhood bedroom, of handsome princes mounted on midnight stallions and towering castles set against sunsets. For the longest time, you thought them to be true, because by the time you might have grown up, you found your own handsome prince, who rode a secondhand bike instead of a horse, and his castle was the sweatshirt-strewn dorm room he shared with two other boys. Nevertheless, you so strongly believed you would get your own happily-ever-after, that it took you a long time to accept the thorns in the rosy brush that constituted your outlook on life. You had a hard time understanding your prince, sometimes, and ended up spinning your own stories to fill in the gaps you thought he created. It never once occurred to you that life would never be perfect, and that your prince could not be exactly who you dreamed him to be.
Itโs why you stroll the length of Forsaken Bridge alone, materializing its dreary name with your head bent and hands tucked in your pockets. But youโre not surprised either, when you see your prince, standing on the very place where he made you a promise that you broke yourself. His crown is misplaced and his armor has lost its luster, but heโs your beautiful prince, still beautiful while heartbroken over you.
โI didnโt think youโd come,โ you say softly.ย
โI shouldnโt have.โ Minho stares at the deteriorating timber planks beneath your feet. โBut I canโt say no when it comes to you.โ
You shake your head, sniffling lightly. You both hate and love him for being so understanding, so kind, even now. You hate yourself for it, too. โI broke your heart.โ
Minho blinks, clasping his hands in front of himself. โThere are so many things that Iโm sorry and thankful to you for, but you know Iโm not good at expressing myself.โ
โThatโs my line, Min.โ You scoff through your tears. โI tried to force you to be someone you're not. And you respond by taking care of me, like you always have. And you listened to me instead of fighting. You walked away.โ
โI wanted you to be happy. Thatโs all I have ever wanted. With or without me in the picture.โ Minho shoots you a watery smile. โI love you, you know. I always will.โ
You inhale shakily. โAnd I love you too. I was scared of being hurt because I love you so much. I shouldnโt have been so afraid of what I didnโt know. I should have tried to ask you instead of coming to assumptions on my own.โ
โWeโre in this together, okay?โ Minho steps forward towards you, reaching up to hold your face in his hands. โRemember what I said? You never have to be alone. Iโm right here, always.โ
Minho rubs his thumbs over your tears, nothing but devotion in his eyes. You touch his arms, pulling him into a hug. โI know I ruined everything, but please come back to me? Iโm so, so sorry.โ
โMe too. And you ruined nothing.โ He squeezes you. โWe still have our whole lives ahead of us.โ
You draw back from the embrace, smiling through your tearsโ for once, theyโre the good kind. โI love you, Lee Minho. Letโs start over?โ
โI love you too, Y/N.โ Minho whispers, a grin slowly spreading on his face. โAnd I donโt want to ruin the moment, but can we begin by finding an apartment, please? If I accidentally drink Hyunjinโs paint water one more time I think I will literally die.โ
You laugh, raising your eyebrows at him teasingly. โOnly because you want to escape Hyunjin? Not because you love me?โ
He rolls his eyes playfully, a light blush tinting his pale skin. โYou know what I mean.โ
โYou should show me what you mean.โ
โI should.โ
Minho obeys your command, leaning down to meet your lips in a chaste kiss, before you grasp his waist, pulling him closer and deepening the movement. God, you missed this so much. You missed him, so much. Minhoโs hands reach up to cup your neck as you trace endless love letters on each otherโs lips, campus curses and bad faith banished from your lovestruck young minds.
โSee? Looks like our story came true.โ he whispers as you come up for air, nudging your nose sweetly with his own. โLifelong lovers, weโll be.โ
โPromise?โ
โI promise.โ Minho kisses you once more and pulls back, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. โThis means forever.โ
Check out the rest of boys' stories on Love Playlist!
ยซGENERAL M.LISTยปย ยทย ยซNAVIGATIONยปย ยทย ยซTALK TO MEยปย
AUTHOR'S NOTE
It feels so good to get back to Love Playlist <3 This whole series itself was inspired by the cute, college au vibes of the K-drama Love Playlist and its spinoff, Dear M. (starring NCT's Jaehyun, a must-see), but this story especially was heavily based on Dear M.'s second leads. Brownie points if you've noticed which hit superhero TV series I took a piece of dialogue from! I just adore that quote so much. Anyway, I'm a sucker for Minho and this story has a special place in my heart. Can you guess who is next?! And thank you for supporting me, always!
-Dreamy
P.S. โก If you like my work, please consider giving me feedback in the form of reblogs, comments, and asks! โก
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Network: @kflixnet
ยฉjisungsdaydreamer 2023 | All rights reserved. I do not condone translations or transfers of my work onto other platforms such as Wattpad, AO3, etc. Tumblr is my only platform. Acts of plagiarism are strictly prohibited.
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Disavowed - pt. 8 - The Epilogue
[4.6k Words/16min. Read - Incubus!Chris x Succubus!Reader - NSFW/Smut - Churches, Unholy Callings, Sorting Out Our Feelings, Arguments, Make-Up Sex, Cunnilingus, Motel Sex, Getting What You Want, High Rewards]
[a/n:ย ty to @therhythmafterthesummer andย @magicficwritingย for beta reading and previewingย this series๐]
[Part 1ย |ย Part 2ย |ย Part 3ย |ย Part 4ย |ย Part 5ย |ย Part 6 | Part 7 | Come Say Hi!]
๐ ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ค๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต ๐ฃ๐ข๐ณ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ญ๐ฆ ๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ด, ๐ข๐ต ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ข๐ด๐ต ๐ข๐ค๐ค๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐จ๐ช๐ณ๐ญ ๐ข๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐จ๐ข๐ด ๐ด๐ต๐ข๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ. ๐๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐๐ถ๐ด๐ด๐ฐ๐ค๐ฌ ๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ฌ, ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ-๐ญ๐ช๐จ๐ฉ๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ ๐ซ๐ถ๐ด๐ต ๐ฅ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฆ ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ๐ด ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ง๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฎ, ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ธ๐ข๐ด ๐ข ๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ข๐ง๐ช๐ฅ๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ต๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ญ๐ช๐ด. ๐๐ถ๐ด๐ด๐ฐ๐ค๐ฌ ๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ธ๐ข๐ด ๐ค๐ฐ๐ญ๐ฅ, ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ด๐ฐ๐ญ๐ข๐ต๐ฆ, ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ข๐ด ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ญโ๐ข๐ต ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ข๐ด๐ต ๐ช๐ต ๐ธ๐ข๐ด, ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ต๐ช๐ญ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ค๐ข๐ญ ๐ค๐ฉ๐ถ๐ณ๐ค๐ฉ ๐ฃ๐ถ๐ณ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ข๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต ๐ข ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฌ ๐ข๐จ๐ฐ. ๐๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฎ ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐จ๐ข๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ, ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ด๐ต๐ณ๐ฐ๐บ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ค๐ฉ๐ข๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ญ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ถ๐จ๐ฉ ๐ข ๐ค๐ข๐ฑ๐ณ๐ช๐ค๐ช๐ฐ๐ถ๐ด ๐ฏ๐ถ๐ฏ.
๐โ๐ฅ ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ฅ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ช๐ง ๐ ๐ธ๐ข๐ด๐ฏโ๐ต ๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ๐ณ๐ช๐ง๐ช๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ.
๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐จ๐ช๐ณ๐ญ ๐ข๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐จ๐ข๐ด ๐ด๐ต๐ข๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ท๐ข๐จ๐ถ๐ฆ๐ญ๐บ ๐ฌ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ธ ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ฐ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ, ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ค๐ข๐ถ๐ด๐ฆ ๐ด๐ฉ๐ฆโ๐ฅ ๐ข๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต๐ญ๐บ ๐จ๐ช๐ท๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฅ๐ช๐ณ๐ฆ๐ค๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ง๐ช๐ณ๐ด๐ต ๐ข๐ณ๐ณ๐ช๐ท๐ฆ๐ฅ. ๐๐ถ๐ต ๐ด๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ด๐ด. ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ข๐ช๐ฅ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ต๐ต๐บ. ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ด๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ช๐ง ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐บ ๐จ๐ช๐ณ๐ญ๐ง๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ. ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฎ๐ช๐ต๐ต๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฅ๐ฏโ๐ต ๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ฏ๐ข๐ฎ๐ฆ, ๐ด๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ข๐ด ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ช๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ฅ. ๐โ๐ฎ ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ต๐ต๐บ ๐ด๐ถ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฌ๐ด ๐โ๐ฎ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ฑ๐ข๐ณ๐ฐ๐ญ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง๐ง๐ช๐ค๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ธ. ๐ ๐จ๐ถ๐ฆ๐ด๐ด, ๐ข๐ค๐ค๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ, ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐จ๐ฐ ๐ฃ๐บ ๐๐ข๐ฏ๐ช๐ฆ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ.
๐ ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ข๐ด ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฎ๐ฑ ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ฅ ๐ง๐ฐ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ช๐ต ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ค๐ข๐ท๐ฆ ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐๐ข๐ณ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ต๐ต ๐๐ญ๐ถ๐ง๐ง๐ด. ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฌ ๐ธ๐ข๐ด ๐ธ๐ข๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ฏ, ๐ง๐ข๐ช๐ฏ๐ต ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ข ๐ฑ๐ข๐ช๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ด๐ด ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ, ๐ฃ๐ถ๐ต ๐ ๐ง๐ช๐จ๐ถ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ช๐ต ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ต๐ต๐บ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฎ๐ฏ ๐ฒ๐ถ๐ช๐ค๐ฌ.
๐ ๐ง๐ฆ๐ญ๐ญ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐โ๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฑ ๐ง๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ต๐ช๐ญ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ต๐ฐ๐ฑ ๐ฎ๐ฆ.
๐ ๐ด๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅโ๐ท๐ฆ ๐ฌ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ต๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ต ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ง๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ฏ. ๐๐ต ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ด ๐ต๐ฐ๐ฐ ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ค๐ฉ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ด๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ฅ๐ฐ ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ง๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฎ๐บ๐ด๐ฆ๐ญ๐ง, ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ธ๐ช๐ต๐ฉ ๐ข ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ด๐ข๐ญ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ต, ๐ฏ๐ฐ ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ด๐ด. ๐ ๐ฐ๐ถ'๐ณ๐ฆ ๐จ๐ช๐ท๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ข ๐ฃ๐ช๐ต ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ข ๐ณ๐ถ๐ฏ ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ฎ๐บ ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐บ, ๐ช๐ง ๐'๐ฎ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ด๐ต.
๐๐บ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ช๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ ๐จ๐ฐ๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ ๐๐ถ๐ด๐ด๐ฐ๐ค๐ฌ ๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ฌ, ๐โ๐ฅ ๐ข๐ญ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ๐บ ๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ด๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ, ๐ฐ๐ฃ๐ท๐ช๐ฐ๐ถ๐ด๐ญ๐บ. ๐๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฌ ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ข ๐ง๐ณ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฌ๐ญ๐บ ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ฃ๐ข๐ณ๐ณ๐ข๐ด๐ด๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ข๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ต ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ต๐ช๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ต๐ณ๐ข๐ค๐ฌ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ง๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฎ ๐๐ถ๐ค๐ฌ๐ด๐ฌ๐ช๐ฏ ๐๐ญ๐ข๐ช๐ฏ๐ด ๐ข๐ญ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ๐บ, ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐จ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ข๐จ๐ข๐ช๐ฏ. ๐ ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ข๐ด ๐ฏ๐ฐ ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ค๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ง๐ถ๐ญ.
๐๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ๐ฏโ๐ต ๐ค๐ข๐ถ๐จ๐ฉ๐ต ๐ถ๐ฑ? ๐๐ฆ๐ตโ๐ด ๐ด๐ฆ๐ฆ ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ค๐ฉ ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ ๐ค๐ข๐ฏ ๐จ๐ฐ.
๐ ๐ค๐ข๐ฏ ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ญ๐บ ๐ฅ๐ฐ ๐ด๐ฐ ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ค๐ฉ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ฅ๐บ, ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ค๐ข๐ต๐ค๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ถ๐ฑ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ด ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ข ๐ค๐ฉ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐จ๐ฆ, ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ด๐ข๐บ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ข๐ด๐ต. ๐๐ข๐ฌ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ค๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ข ๐ฉ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฏ ๐ช๐ด ๐ฆ๐น๐ฉ๐ข๐ถ๐ด๐ต๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฃ๐บ ๐ช๐ต๐ด๐ฆ๐ญ๐ง. ๐ ๐ต๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ฃ๐ข๐ณ๐จ๐ข๐ช๐ฏ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ธ๐ช๐ต๐ฉ ๐๐ข๐ด๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ, ๐ต๐ฐ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐๐ช๐ฎ ๐โ๐ฅ ๐ง๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ง๐ข๐ด๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ธ๐ช๐ต๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ข๐ต ๐ด๐ข๐ค๐ฌ, ๐ฃ๐ถ๐ต ๐๐ฆ ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ข๐ค๐ต๐ช๐ค๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐บ ๐ญ๐ข๐ถ๐จ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ข๐ต ๐ฎ๐ฆ.
๐๐ฐ๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐๐ฆ ๐ค๐ข๐ฏ ๐ญ๐ข๐ถ๐จ๐ฉ, ๐ฃ๐ถ๐ต ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐จ๐ฆ๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ข.
๐ ๐ฑ๐ถ๐ญ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ถ๐ฑ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ช๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐๐ฐ๐น, ๐ข ๐ค๐ณ๐ถ๐ฅ๐ฆ ๐ฏ๐ข๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ข ๐ค๐ณ๐ถ๐ฅ๐ฆ ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ญ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ, ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ ๐ข๐ด๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฃ๐ข๐ณ๐ต๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ช๐ง ๐ฉ๐ฆโ๐ฅ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ. ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ ๐ด๐ถ๐จ๐จ๐ฆ๐ด๐ต๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถโ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐บ ๐จ๐ช๐ณ๐ญ๐ง๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ, ๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฑ๐ข๐ญ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ญ๐ข๐ถ๐จ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ข๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ข๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ช๐ฎ๐ฆ, ๐ข๐ฏ ๐ช๐ฏ๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ด๐ต๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ค๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ฏ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ ๐ฎ๐ช๐จ๐ฉ๐ต ๐ฃ๐ฆ โ๐ค๐ข๐ต๐ค๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จโ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ. ๐๐ฆ ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ช๐ฏ๐ต๐ฆ๐ฅ, ๐ช๐ฏ๐ท๐ฆ๐ด๐ต๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐จ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ง๐ถ๐ญ, ๐ข๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ข๐ฃ๐ญ๐ฆ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ช๐ต๐ต๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ข๐ต ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ข ๐ฅ๐ข๐ณ๐ฌ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฃ๐ข๐ณ.
๐๐ถ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ถ๐จ๐ฉ, ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ, ๐ค๐ฉ๐ข๐ต๐ต๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ถ๐ฑ ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐จ๐ถ๐บ. ๐ ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ค๐ถ๐ต๐ฆ. ๐๐ด ๐ข ๐ต๐ฆ๐ด๐ต๐ข๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ญ๐ช๐ต๐ต๐ญ๐ฆ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ถ๐จ๐ฉ๐ต ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ค๐ข๐ญ๐ด, ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฏ'๐ต ๐ค๐ฉ๐ข๐ฏ๐จ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ข๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ข๐ณ๐ข๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ ๐ข๐ต ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ. ๐๐ญ๐ญ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ค๐ฉ๐ข๐ฏ๐จ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ธ๐ข๐ด ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ฏ๐ข๐ฎ๐ฆ. ๐ ๐ญ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐๐ข๐ฏ๐ช๐ฆ. ๐๐ต ๐ธ๐ข๐ด ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฎ๐ฏ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต ๐ด๐ฐ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ข๐ณ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ข ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ค๐ฌ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ข๐ต ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ด๐ธ๐ฆ๐ข๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ. ๐๐ณ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ค๐ฌ ๐ธ๐ข๐ด ๐ข ๐ญ๐ช๐ต๐ต๐ญ๐ฆ ๐จ๐ฐ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐ค๐ฉ๐ข๐ช๐ฏ ๐ธ๐ช๐ต๐ฉ ๐ข ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ต๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ฏ๐จ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ช๐ต. ๐๐ถ๐ต๐ต๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ข ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ๐ด, ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ถ๐จ๐ฉ, ๐ธ๐ข๐ด ๐ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ๐ช๐ป๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ธ๐ข๐ด๐ฏโ๐ต ๐ซ๐ถ๐ด๐ต ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐จ๐ถ๐บ.
๐๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ข๐ด ๐ข ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ด๐ต.
โโถโถโถโถโถโโทโทโทโทโทโ
You nearly spit out your beer when you saw Chris in the crowd, but you tried to maintain your composure. Your โjust friendsโ date for the night, Ambrose, on the other hand, almost jumped out of his skin.
โJanie, baby, you been avoiding me?โ Chris smirked while he approached, thumbs hooked in his belt.ย
โCan I help you?โ you asked, doing your best to look more annoyed than nervous. After all, you did tell him to come after you himself.
Ambrose looked from you, to Chris, to you again. โYou know this guy?โ
Chris nodded emphatically. โYeah, we sure doโโ
โNo, we donโt,โ you stubbornly interrupted.
โThatโs my girlfriend, you prick,โ Chris antagonized, shit-eating grin and all when he grabbed Ambrose by the sleeve and pulled him up from his chair.
You shook your head in denial, getting Ambroseโs other arm. โThat is not true, you asshole,โ you scoffed, but it was too late. Ambrose looked between both of you again, yanked his arms free of your and Chrisโ grips, and booked it out the front door. Chris looked so pleased when you glared at him, that you were proud of yourself when you simply grabbed your bag and walked out, leaving him panicking.
The night was freezing when you got out on the main road, and for a second, you wondered if Chris wouldn't follow you. This was proven to be foolish, though, when you heard the rumble of an engine behind you. Sure enough, Chris pulled up in his truck alongside you, and rolled the passenger side window down.
โThere!โ he shouted at you. โI did what you said and I found you. Now are you going to get in the truck or am I going to have to come get you?โ
Chris groaned loud in frustration when you resumed walking down the sidewalk, but you almost smiled delightedly when he started inching the truck along, keeping pace with you. This was a tale as old as time, and the two of you painted a classic picture of a messy couple airing all their garbage in public.
โJanie!โ he yelled again, still using your new name. โGet in the truck, damn it!โ
You folded your arms indignantly, walking in the direction of your motel. Finally, he seemed to get the idea.
โAre you mad at me?!โ
He was gawking at you as if he never considered this before, but you were pleased that he got it nonetheless.ย
So you allowed him one reward. You instantly stopped walking and waited for Chris to hit the brakes, lean over, and open the passenger side door. He sighed when you climbed onto the bench seat beside him, perhaps out of relief, but then you resumed being stubbornly quiet. Neither of you said a word as he continued driving down the main road. You tried reading his thoughts but, maddeningly, found you couldnโt. Regardless, this felt nice, being close to him again. Your attraction had been magnetic and far too accelerated, but now it felt like you had time to enjoy figuring this guy out, and maybe who he was to you, after all.
Even though you were still pissed at him.
Chris pulled into the motel parking lot without needing to be directed, and you almost wondered why before you realized he probably was staying there, too. Some towns, it turned out, were not as interested in renting out rooms or turning their homes into bed and breakfasts. He was still wearing this puzzled, grumpy frown when he turned off the truck.
โ... Is this because I messed up your trap back there?โ
โOh my god,โ you groaned, letting yourself out of the truck and slamming the door.ย
Chris fumbled out after you and barely managed to catch the sleeve of your coat. โWhat?! Just tell meโโ
โYou abandoned me, Chris!โ you all but screamed at him, throwing your bag and hitting him square in the chest so he would let you go. โTwice! Did you know Jisung was into that occult shit?!โ The way Chrisโ cheeks reddened did not bode well for him. โWell?!โ
He bit his lip, suddenly finding it hard to meet your gaze. Your bag was clutched in his hand at his side. โ... Yeah. I did.โ
You balked at him, mouth flapping open and closed at the confirmation. โSo did you also know he set me up to be exorcized?โ
Chris sighed. He was fully looking at his feet by now. โYeah,โ he admitted.
โIncredible,โ you laughed in disbelief. Reaching for him, you snatched your bag back, digging around inside to look for your motel key while you walked up to your room.
โLook,โ he pleaded, following you there to your door, โI know that was a lot. Iโm sorryโโ
โYou asshole,โ you hissed, shoving him back. It was hard to breathe for some reason. โIt wasnโt just a lot, Chris! It was fucking terrifying. All I wanted was a night with you and you went and turned me intoโฆ intoโโ
โI had to,โ he tried to say. โYouโre perfectโโ
โStop saying that!โ
โIโm not just saying it!โ he insisted. Reaching for you, he tried to hold your hand. โYou really areโโ
โWell I donโt want to be!โ you snapped. Embarrassingly, you were on the brink of tears. But, then again, so was Chris. โThat night in the church,โ you shakily told him, โwas terrible, Chris. And before that, that whole mess with Jisung, that was fucking horrible, too, but that night! I saw you get shot, asshole! And Jisung, heโand Father James, too, he tried toโโ
You were crying by now.
You both were.
โI know, baby,โ he tried to console you.
โYeah!โ you sarcastically laughed in his face. โI know you know! You let it happen! You told me you love me and then you vanished and I had to do everything on my ownโโ
โI HAD TO.โ
You stared, eyes shaking. Chris looked ashamed of his own outburst. His own eyes were red and watering. Both of you sniffled pathetically in the cold night air.
โYou had to,โ you repeated.
Chris nodded.
โYou had to,โ you said again, โsays whoโฆ?โ
Silently, still looking at the ground, Chris lifted his hand, pointing a finger and gesturing downward.
โBecause of Him.โ
You raised an eyebrow, more than dubious. โHim? Oh, come onโโ
โWould you โcome on?โโ Chris asked, agitated and rolling his eyes. โAll this, everything you and I can do. Itโs all Him.โ
You paused uncomfortably, folding your arms across your chest and leaning back against the door to your motel room. โSoโฆ that night in your attic. That wasโฆ Him.โ
โYeah,โ he answered. โI was sort of, uhmโฆ in trouble. Big trouble.โ
โHow was that?โ
โI, uh,โ Chris began, uneasy. โYou and I? This isnโt normal. I didnโt expect you to be soโโ
โDo not say perfect.โ
โShut up,โ he scolded. โI was going to say youโre unexpectedly potent. Itโs kind of overwhelming.โ
You rolled your eyes back at him. โThat sounds ridiculous.โ
โIt feels ridiculous. And, I dunno. Maybe I fell for you.โ
The way your heart ached felt horribly vulnerable. โIโm guessing thatโs the part that isnโt normal,โ you winced.
โNot at all,โ Chris said, shaking his head. โI wasnโt supposed to leave you alone like that. But when you were pissed at me and started going after the reverendโI dunnoโI was hoping you would get there on your own.โ
โAnd yet you waited a ludicrous amount of time to try and save me from a literal exorcism?โ you scoffed, shaking your head and opening the door to your motel room, ready to end this exhausting conversation.
โI thought it might be the final push you needed!โ he argued defensively, grabbing onto your sleeve again.
You yanked your arm back. โBut it wasnโt! You sent me back alone and made me forget you!โ
โYou didnโt want the right thing yet!โ Chris argued. โYou wanted revenge; you didnโt want to punish or expose or anything else we doโโ
โOf course I wanted revenge!โ you cried. โYou saw what they did to me!โ
When you tried pulling away again, Chris reeled you closer, wrapping you in his arms as he tried to calm you down. โIโm sorry,โ he tried apologizing.
โI hate that you sent me back,โ you stubbornly continued, your voice half-muffled by his shoulder. โI hate that you made me forget you!โ
โI know, Iโm sorry!โ Chris repeated. โI just wantedโโ
โWhat do you want, you jerk?!โ
You shoved him off again, leaving Chris standing in the doorway of your motel room. His hands clenched into nervous fists.ย
โWhat do I want?โ he repeated, almost like he was thinking about it. When he took your hand once again, you let him this time. As much as you hated this whole exchange, you missed how good it felt to have Chris go mad over you. โI wantโฆ I want you.โ
The still air between you was heavy when Chris reeled you in closer, until he was cupping your face in his warm hands. โYeah,โ he continued, reassuring himself. โI want you.โ
You allowed him to kiss you, and the way that he was so gentle, so nearly hesitant, told you that maybe he sensed that, and he respected it when you pushed him away. The collar of his sweater under his coat was balled in your hand and you still held onto him despite driving space between you. This was a lot to take in.
โTell me more,โ you softly ordered, drawing him in for another short kiss before pushing him back again.
Chris tentatively swung the door shut behind him and hazarded another kiss, his lips chasing yours when you reluctantly tried to lean away. โThat first morning after, when you caught me at communion,โ he breathed, getting needier by the second and shepherding you back onto the dresser, โthe way you looked at me scared the shit out of me. You saw me and you knew who I was.โ
โAnd Iโm guessing thatโs not normal, either?โ you asked, and you almost let yourself get carried away by the way Chris impulsively kissed your neck, the way he pulled you closer and closer and closer like he could pull you into himself. You kicked him off and busied yourself with trying to peel off his coat or at least peek under it.
โNot normal in the slightest,โ he answered. โWhat was weirder wasโwhat are you doing?โ
โIโm looking for a mark,โ you frowned. โLike the one I have, the one you gave me. Donโt you have one?โ
You could feel the scar on your chest pulsing under your sweater. Chrisโ expression sparked with understanding and he easily shucked off his jacket before tugging off his sweater and the shirt underneath. You were suddenly mortified to realize youโd never had a waking memory of this man half-naked before, but he wasโjust as he ever wasโcompletely gorgeous. Chris turned around then, showing you a similar mark pulsing low on the nape of his neck. His was long, a teardrop tapering down to a thin, scant point in the middle of his back. You sucked in a sympathetic gasp and reached out, feeling the mark with your fingers.
โLooks like it hurt,โ you observed.
Chris grinned over his shoulder. โIt, uh, wasnโt fun. You got off easy.โ
โWhat about Jisung?โ you asked curiously.ย
โThat?โ Chris asked distantly, already capitalizing on your lack of resolve and coming back between your knees where you sat on the dresser. โIโm sure you started catching on by now. Youโre sort of just letting energy out when you do that. Jisung wanted to be a creep, so he became more of a creep. But my mark? Your mark? Theyโre like little dog tags.โ
โThat we belong to Him?โ you giggled. โAnd no energy release?โ
โYeah,โ he nodded, his glazed eyes laying their focus on your collarbones. โWaitโI mean noโwell, it's sort of like that. It's more like a confirmation. You wanted destruction, so you started seeking more destruction.โ
โDestruction?โ you laughed in surprise, and again when Chris kissed your neck some more. The skin of his back was soft over his defined shoulder blades, and you found yourself absently stroking the mark between his shoulders. โWhat the hell did I want to destroy?!โ
โWell, I mean,โ Chris babbled while he tried to push your jacket down off your arms, โitโs felt like you wanted to destroy me from the moment you met me.โ
โItโs just really fun to mess with you,โ you corrected him, leaning him back a little so you could go ahead and slip off your sweater. Chrisโ gaze nearly swallowed you whole.
โAll I really did was give you the opportunity to do so,โ he humbly denied when he grappled you close again, and attempted another kiss on your lips this time. You both sighed contentedly into each other when you permitted it, like you were both stretching an aching muscle by letting yourselves chase this rush. Chrisโ hands were restless, caressing you and squeezing you before ultimately wrestling with the button of your jeans. His eyes widened when you kicked him off again, a sleepwalker rudely awakened and tripped backwards down onto his knees while you took care of your jeans yourself. However, you didnโt let him dive right back into you again. You shoved your foot into his shoulder, holding him back, but he took this in stride, taking it upon himself to remove your shoes for you.
โHow do I know I can trust you?โ you asked, all while you shimmied your jeans down and off. Shamefully, your eyes were glued to Chrisโ hands fumbling his belt buckle. โI mean, you can't blame me. You confessed your feelings and then left me to fend for myself. Do you even love me?โ
โYeah, unfortunately, I do,โ he chuckled, sounding more like a sigh. He got the buckle of his belt open a moment later, drawing your attention there again. โI hate it as much as you do. Silly shit like love is a huge drain of resources in our line of work. I guarantee that with how easy you've had it since I sent you back, your fall wouldโve been damn near painless if I didnโt go stupid over you in the first place.โ
You loved that, Chris going โstupidโ over you, and maybe he was aware of that, considering the way he held you by the ankle, cradling your leg while he kissed his way up your skin.ย
โLet me get this straight,โ you smirked. โYou love me and want me? What next, you want to be my boyfriend? We'll go on little dates and have anniversaries?โ
Chris shrugged casually despite the way he was ghosting his lips over your heat. โIโll be honest, Iโd be okay with just being your whipping boy.โ
โDonโt be dumb,โ you pretended to scold him, before his tongue searching you out between your legs made you gasp. Chris held on to your thighs where he had you pinned against the dresser, his intrepid mouth thoroughly interrupting and distracting you. โHow long have you been like this? Maybe Barrett Bluffs was your handiwork.โ
He leaned back on his heels, the pads of his fingers taking over while he cocked an eyebrow at you. โNow whoโs being dumb?โ he scoffed, but it was difficult to tell if he was being facetious. โIโve been like this for years but only this body for one or two.โ
โWhat happens when weโreโฆ done? With these bodies?โ you asked, still stuck on the subject even though Chris was deftly rubbing your sensitive clit.
โThereโs still plenty of mileage in yours,โ he easily explained before helping himself to another lick of you and pulling an involuntary moan out of you in return. โI quite literally needed one when I fell, thus the body-hopping. But you can change whenever you want. Itโs just, you know, like a car or a new place. Doesnโt feel good to change too often.โ
You brushed your fingers through Chrisโ hair and tugged him up to look at you again. Holding onto the dresser to steady yourself, you slipped off and onto his lap where he was sitting back on his heels. He held you in his arms and let you kiss his face. โWhat happened when you fell? It sounds like it was rough.โ
Chrisโ ears tinged red at the question and he looked away, shaking his head with a forlorn laugh. โThatโs a story for another time. How was your fall?โ
โI hated it,โ you admitted. โIf it happened when I think I did. Everything came back to me all at once, in the middle of me fucking Jisung.โ
The grip on your waist tightened and Chris didnโt obscure his frown at the mention of the reverend again. He slowly got up to his feet, just enough to fall back onto the bed, and pulled you up with him. You followed his needy tug, climbing on top of him and sitting astride his hips. His warm hands slid around your waist and up your back to hug you close to him. โIโm so sorry, baby,โ he murmured into your neck. โI shouldnโt have left you like that.โ
โYou shouldnโt have,โ you agreed, โbut I think itโs a testament to how badly I got to you.โ You felt him out, easing his jeans down and getting a solid grip on his hard-on. Chris was fully keyed up, almost trembling in the already cold air of the motel room as you teased him into you, so nearly taking him in your depths but not quite.
โCome on,โ he pleaded, โgive it to me, please.โ
You kissed his brow, continuing to grind your wet entrance against the leaking tip of his erection. โTell me again. I like hearing it. I like hearing you love me.โ
Chrisโ eyes were squeezed shut in the sweetest way, like he wanted to feel every second youโd give him. He nodded, one short dip of his chin and then a more confident gesture following it. โI do,โ he told you. โI love youโoh fuckโโ
Your reaction was practically the same once you made good on your word and slipped him deep inside you in one smooth motion. Both of you shuddered and cursed, the way you fit together making your heads spin.
โIโll be honest,โ Chris croaked, trying to focus on anything else besides how good you felt, โIโve thought of what we could do together now that I caught up with you.โ
You grinned while you rocked your hips against his, earning you a strained groan from him. โYeah?โ you asked breathlessly. โWhat does He think of team jobs?โ
โI donโt think He particularly cares,โ he panted, still refusing to open his eyes, โThis is part of the reward, if we want it. More freedom to do what we want. So now heโs more of a parole officer than a boss. What do you say?โ
โDepends,โ you taunted in his ear, โhow do I know you wonโt abandon me again?โ
โNow that you fell?โ he laughed in response. โWhy the hell would I leave you alone? Look what youโve been up to without me here.โ
โI guess I could use a guard dog,โ you joked, getting a pinch in return that made you jump, and the impromptu angle made both of you cry out in surprised pleasure. โYou expecting anything from me in return?โ
โYour love?โ he suggested, but the flush in his cheeks instantly deepened. โIf thatโs okayโor Iโm joking. I mean, Iโd stay regardlessโโ
โNo no,โ you shook your head, โitโs okay. I think I can do that.โ
You met Chrisโ eye then, the rock of your bodies in unison slowing to a stop. His hands affectionately squeezed your hips. Your mind swirled with the rush of your feelings for him. Did you love him? As youโd recognized before, your attraction had been instant and magnetic, and maybe shouldโve served as a harbinger of the otherworldly elements at play. Every time he burned you, it made you want him more, and it was clear that the drama of it all kept him torturously attached to you. This wasnโt exactly cute or pretty, this situation you had going on with Chris.
But it felt like he wanted you exactly as you were.
And you wanted him, too.
Chris gasped and whined when you rolled the two of you over on the musty motel bed, and now he lay in between your legs. โSo what,โ he smirked, trying not to think about how perfectly you wrapped around him, โare you going to tell me you love me?โ
โMaybe,โ you nodded. Your fingers curled around the scruff of his neck to pull him down, catching his lips in another kiss as you thrust against him from underneath and earning the sweetest whimper from him as reward. โHave you ever fucked outside of a human body?โ
โLike in my natural form?โ he asked curiously. He was almost thankful that you were extending him this little grace period to enjoy this a while longer. โI have, butโโ
โDonโt you say itโโ
โIt feels really good with you, even with the meat suit. Like, unfathomably good.โย
โYou done it with anyone else like me?โ
โNot like this,โ Chris said, kissing you again. โItโs taking everything in me to not finish right this second.โ
โWhat if you finish me off first?โ you teased.
โNow weโre talking,โ he groaned, set as he was on his new goal and kissing your neck again before leaning up, giving himself a good angle to not only thrust into you, but spread you open so he could rub your overstimulated bundle of nerves. He worked you over in this position for a solid few minutes, never waning for more than a moment so you could build up to your peak. When you cried out suddenly, grabbing desperately onto his hands to stop or keep going or something, he simply slowed down to a methodical, rhythmic circling that drew out your climax.
โJesus Christ, youโre a monster,โ you gasped, heaving for breath. Chris beamed proudly before he wrapped your legs tight around him and began thrusting deeper into your core. โChris-!โ you exclaimed. โDonโt you need a breakโโ
โNo no no,โ he insisted in quick succession under his breath. โI need it, I need you so bad, Iโve missed you so much.โ
โBecause itโs so perfect?โ you mused.
Chris nodded dumbly, lost in the moment. โIn more ways than one, baby.โ
You angled your hips and brought him down to kiss you once again. โThen do it, Chris. Finish for meโโ
The air was almost knocked out of you with the force of his final thrust, surprising Chris with its suddenness when he came and arrived at his crescendo without focusing on it. His hips stuttered, and his brow furrowed cutely before he leaned down, capturing your lips and tongue as he groaned and exulted little praises while he rocked against you in the aftershocks.
A cool, comfortable silence of convalescence draped over you both, and Chris collapsed onto the bed beside you as you drew up the duvet to cover you both. He laid his head on your breast, his ear against your heartbeat while you both caught your breath. You could get used to this.
โIโm so relieved I caught up to you,โ he quietly, sleepily told you. โDo you understand all this, by the way? Me? You? What youโve been given?โ
You thought about this as you looked at the old, worn popcorn ceiling of the motel, and then out at the hazy street lamp-lit roads of Shale Meadows. On the hill, out in the distance, was the local chapel. Just seeing it filled you with anticipation and excitement. You stroked Chrisโ hair as he hugged an arm around your middle.
โYeah, I understand,โ you nodded. โAnd I want more.โ
Chris looked up at you. His expression wasnโt just adoration, lust, infatuation, or even loveโit was pride, too. โYou can have whatever you want, baby.โ
You were floating through the afterglow to such a degree that you decided to be content believing him. If you could have him, then yes, you could probably have whatever you wanted. Chris kissed you one more time before laying on your chest again, and soon enough you could feel his breath slow as he fell asleep.
You looked back out the window, thrilled that you finally wouldnโt wake up without him.ย
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