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luckyqueenreign · 2 years

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No Other Love - Chapter 1: Flight Risk

After weeks of ignoring her feelings for Suresh, Gemma was finally ready to admit to him that she wanted to get back together. With the Casa Amor recoupling in full swing, she never expected him to walk back into the villa with another girl.

🎵 Song 🎵: Flight Risk You'll never leave if I'm already gone...

Tag list: @katsie @future-mrs-suresh @litg-burnbook @0shewrites0 @bradybunch111 @whati390 @hi-im-karla @fujihime-litg @kunepie @differenttyphoonwerewolf @earlyevenings @pho3nixx67 @sienna2world @kikithegr8 @theesocialintrovert @iamgaryrennells @kiwi-tai @abecerra611 (let me know if you want to be added on to tag list)

Thank you to my girls 💖💖 @katsie @0shewrites0 for looking this through and editing my dumb mistakes and making it so much better than it was and @midnightscinema for the Suresh/Lulu date idea!!!

Read on AO3

Is this where our story ends? After everything he said before Casa Amor, this just can’t be the end.

Gemma looked down at her hands, absentmindedly playing with her gold ring, then stared off into the fire pit.

Can it?

She bit back the tears threatening to pour out of her green eyes. She wouldn’t let any of them see how utterly and completely broken she felt. No, broken couldn’t even begin to accurately describe the feeling of having your heart ripped out of your chest and tossed aside like it was worth nothing. Before they’d left for Casa, Suresh’s ultimatum had forced Gemma to come to terms with all of the feelings she’d long since buried and tried to ignore. And she hated how after all this time, after all the pain he’d caused her, how much she still loved him, even now as she watched him take his seat on the opposite end of the fire pit with Lulu by his side.

From the very first day, when he walked out to greet her by the pool and she saw those dizzying emerald eyes, her feelings for him rushed to the surface, washing over her in an uncomfortable wave. She tried everything she could to be strong, to not cave in to his many advances and false promises of having “changed.” She tried to flirt with the new guys, move on with someone new, but no one compared to him. They didn’t know that she couldn’t hear someone sing ‘Happy Birthday’ without tearing up, especially if it was her birthday. That despite being a horrible singer, she would sing as loud as her lungs would let her whenever she got the chance. That she hated driving and always begged him to, even though she knew he would never make her do something she didn’t want to do. Suresh knew all of that about her, and he loved her for it.

Loved. In the past. Not anymore.

“Babe, it’s your turn,” Kat said, nudging her forward. She sat nestled in Finn’s arms, looking happy, safe. All the things Gemma felt like she should be feeling right now.

Stick or Switch.

She stood up and took a deep breath. Should she stick with Alfie? The boy who she had tried to get to know, who she’d tried to move on from Suresh with, but somehow things just never felt right. No matter how hard she tried to ignore it, there seemed to always be a gnawing feeling in the back of her mind that something was missing. He just wasn’t him. She looked at Johnny and Nicolas, both nervously standing off to the side. She’d barely gotten to know either of them in Casa Amor, something she now regretted. Again because of him. There was also the matter of Alfie kissing Kat and Gemma kissing Suresh. She knew she had no room to judge Alfie for what he’d done, but she also knew that both kisses had ended things for them before it even properly started. So she knew she only had one choice tonight.

Switch.

“Tonight I’m choosing to couple up with this boy because he has shown me that I can have more than what I’ve been offered. That I can have a fresh start with someone new. I’m excited to see where this chapter might take us, so the boy I’m coupling up with is…Nicolas.”

Both Dana and Kat looked at one another confused.

Nicolas sauntered over to Gemma quickly, wrapped his arms around her and lifted her in the air. He spun her around and pressed his lips onto hers. She wrapped her fingers around his neck, deepening the kiss. From the corner of her eye, she could see Suresh staring straight into the fire pit, eyes unblinking and not straying from the flames.

“Gems, I feel like the luckiest guy in the world right now,” Nicolas beamed at her.

She smiled at him as they sat down and waited for Alfie to return. She pressed her body close to his and he held her tight, keeping her safe from whatever outcome was about to unfold before them.

Nicolas squeezed her a little tighter when they heard the familiar sounds of heels on the villa floors before she saw Alfie confidently stroll back in with Meera.

This time it was much less painful, since she had no real feelings for Alfie.

She tried to listen to everyone’s excited chatter as they welcomed Meera back into the villa, but she couldn’t hear anything over her erratic heartbeat. She willed herself not to look over in Suresh’s direction, but there had always been an unexplained gravitational force that pulled them closer. As the islanders got up to say their goodbyes to Eddie and Johnny, Gemma noticed Suresh was still sitting, staring into the fire pit’s roaring flames like he had done earlier, frozen in place. Lulu grabbed his hand and nudged him out of his trance and he gave her a small smile, kissing her hand as a thank you. Gemma had lost count of how many times Suresh had kissed her hands like that, she had always loved that small gesture, one she had always thought was meant only for her. Even with Arlo he’d never shown her this side of him.

Does he actually like Lulu?

“I have to…uhm…” Her heart beat faster as she felt the tears pricking her eyes again. This time she knew she couldn’t hold them back for long. She had to get away, she couldn’t let them see her this way.

“I have to get out of here.”

“You okay?” Nicolas asked.

“Yes!” She plastered on the happiest smile she could manage. “I just need some air. I’ll be right back.”

She didn’t give him a chance to respond. Instead she turned on her heels and hurried towards the villa, the tears already streaming down her face before she even had a chance to step inside. She stumbled as she ran up the stairs towards the beach hut, the unwanted tears blurring her vision.

“I’ve lived with you and without you. And being without you doesn’t even compare. I want the wild, fun life that we used to have together. I know now that you’re the only girl for me.” She couldn’t stop the words from replaying in her mind over and over. The words he’d spoken to her before he’d left for Casa Amor. Did she miss something? Had she gotten something wrong?

How could he do this again? Why was he doing this again? After everything he had said before Casa Amor. How he wanted no one else, how he couldn’t picture his life without her. For him to then waltz back into the villa with Lulu, holding her hand and looking like he’d won a prize. Gemma heard the door click open, and quickly wiped her face clean of tears. When she looked up she saw Nicolas standing there. She tried, and failed, in giving him a smile. He gave her a soft one in return as he sat down next to her, leaving the door ajar. Then he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a tight hug.

"It's okay, Gem," he said soothingly. "You're all right, I've got you."

She buried her face into his chest, soaking his shirt in her tears. He wasn't the one she'd wanted to hold her, but he was the only one willing, and right now that was all she cared about. As he held her, just letting her cry, Gemma couldn’t help but wonder where Suresh was. Why wasn’t he the one holding her right now? Explaining himself? Explaining why he’d brought back someone new.

Was any of it real?

But all of those thoughts made her feel incredibly guilty, especially when another man was holding her, soothing her. Eventually she pulled away from him and used the back of her hand to wipe away the tears.

"Thank you, Nic," she said, then gestured to her face which she knew would be covered in smudged makeup. "I'm sorry I'm such a mess."

"Gem, you're anything but a mess," he said and wiped under her eyes with his thumbs. "You're absolutely stunning, you're whip smart, and so incredibly strong. What you've overcome since you came in here, what you continue to overcome, it astounds me. You astound me." He rested a hand on her knee, giving it a little squeeze. "A mess? No. You're a wonder, Gemma. You're special."

She forced her bottom lip to stop quivering, her heart tightened painfully at his words. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, trying to convey how grateful she was.

She found solace in his chest once more, forcing herself to steady her breathing by listening to his.

“You’re so sweet, Nic,” she said, making him smile.

What neither of them saw was Suresh, watching them through the crack in the door, his jaw clenched. He stalked off, hands balled into fists at his sides.

Nicolas pulled away slightly, giving her a warm smile as he brushed her hair out of her face.

"Why don't we get ready for bed, yeah?"

"Yeah," Gemma nodded. "Yeah, that sounds good."

Nicolas met Gemma outside of the dressing rooms, after she’d changed into pajamas and removed the rest of her makeup for the night.

“Wow,” he gushed.

“What?” she looked up at him confused.

“You look stunning.”

“Thanks Nic,” she blushed. “Come on, let's go to bed.”

He led the way, holding her hand, stealing glances at her every few steps. This was the exact distraction she needed right now. Because when he looked at her this way, she could forget for a second how broken and empty she felt inside. How this wasn’t the hand she wanted to hold. She searched the sea of beds for her new bed assignment, finding hers right next to his. She crawled into bed laying on her back not wanting to turn to her side and see anything happening two feet away.

“Hey…Gem…”

She turned over to face Nicolas. He looked a bit nervous like he was lost in thought.

“I just wanted to say…Thank you,” he paused and bit his lip anxiously before continuing. “I feel so lucky to be here with you. I know that I’m not your first choice tonight.”

“Nic-”

“Just let me finish, beautiful,” he smiled at her, cupping her face. “I know that I’m not your first choice tonight but I want you to give me the opportunity and the chance to prove to you why I should be. Suresh, Alfie, none of these guys see what I see in you. You’re special, Gemma. When it came to stick or twist I had already come to terms with leaving. Because if it wasn’t you who picked me to stay, then I would rather go.”

“Really?”

Nicolas edged closer to her, until their faces were inches from each other. He took her hand in his and looked deep into her eyes.

“You were the only one for me. From the first day I laid my eyes on you I knew I had to get to know you better. And the more I do, the more I like you.”

“Nic…”

“You don’t have to say anything right now, Gem. I just want this moment with you.”

He looked deeply into her eyes, leaning in gently and pressing his lips tentatively on hers. The kiss started off slow and languid, but soon his tongue was searching for hers desperately and his hands were roaming her body.

“Nic…”

“Sorry, I lost myself there a bit.” He blushed.

“Good night,” she murmured.

“Good night, beautiful.”

As her eyes fluttered open the next morning, the first person she saw was Suresh. In the middle of the night, they’d both turned and unknowingly faced each other in their respective beds. He was sleeping peacefully only inches away from her now. So close yet so far away. She watched as his chest rose and fell with every breath, staring at his God-like body. She had always loved waking up before him and watching him sleep. There was a softness and a vulnerability that didn’t normally come out when he was awake.

Gemma had been so lost in thought she didn’t notice he had woken up and was staring back at her.

A small smirk touched his lips as her cheeks turned a bright crimson hue, evidence that she had been caught red-handed. He seemed to start to say something but before he was able to get a word out, Nicolas snaked an arm around her waist, bringing her closer to him and kissed her cheek.

“Good morning, beautiful.”

The moment was gone. Suresh rolled his eyes and turned over in bed, not wanting to witness this scene for a second longer than he had to.

She turned over to face Nicolas and gave him a small smile.

“Morning, Nicolas.”

“I was thinking I could whip us up some breakfast this morning. Maybe some avocado toast?”

“That sounds lovely. I can help you.”

“No, I wouldn’t dream of it.”

As Nicolas walked out of the bedroom to the kitchen area, Gabi walked over to Suresh’s bed and nudged his shoulder.

“Suresh, I think it’s time we go for a chat.”

Suresh sat up in his bed and nodded begrudgingly.

“Okay, but I’d like Gemma to come too.” He turned to her on the bed next to him, his eyes locked on hers. “Gem, will you join us?”

“What? No, Suresh, I asked for a private chat with you.” Gabi looked like she was gonna stomp her foot in defiance. “I want to talk about what happened between us.”

Gemma ignored Gabi, looking at Suresh and his dizzying green eyes. This is what she had been wanting from him for so long. A proper explanation, the truth once and for all.

“Okay, Suresh, lead the way.”

Suresh led both girls up to the roof terrace, holding the door open for them to step outside first. Then he made a point of sitting closest to Gemma, their knees almost touching.

“I guess I should start since I owe both of you answers. Gem, I’m so sorry I never told you about the full extent of what happened between me and Gabi. But you have to understand that from my perspective it was just a fling, I never saw it as a serious relationship and I didn’t want to cause more harm and hurt you even more than I already had.”

“A fling? You call FIVE months a fling, Suresh?” Gabi snapped.

Suresh paused to collect his thoughts before continuing.

“I’m not trying to hurt you more than I know I already have. But Gab, we were never that serious. I only ever went to your apartment, you barely came to mine and when you did it was only after we’d been together for months. Did you never wonder why that was?”

She gave him a confused look but waited for him to continue.

“It was because of Gemma.”

“Me?” Gemma frowned. “What do you mean?”

He stared at her sea green eyes with a mixture of adoration and longing, while his fingers inched achingly close to her knee.

“For months I couldn’t take any of our pictures down. It just felt so…final. So I didn’t. It wasn’t until Simon came over one day and forced me to take them down.”

Gemma didn’t know what to think. When she first found out he had cheated on her, she had every intention of throwing away anything that reminded her of him. Their pictures, ticket stubs to concerts, and all of the many gifts he’d bought her over their year together. She had worked quickly and efficiently, dumping everything in a large cardboard box, overstuffing it to the point where it wouldn’t close. But when she walked to the front door of her flat she couldn’t turn the knob. She couldn’t throw their memories away. She’d hugged the box close, slid to the ground and cried. Eventually she’d picked herself off the floor and carried the box into her bedroom, putting it on a shelf in her closet.

“I-I know what you mean, Resh. I couldn’t get rid of your things either,” Gemma said as she stared at him.

“As much as I’m loving this trip down memory lane for you two, it’s not really about you, Gemma.” Gabi turned to look at Suresh with an exasperated look in her eyes. “Suresh, I asked you up here for answers for me, not to reminisce with your ex. Because a fling does not accurately describe what I was to you. You liked me, the way you acted around me wasn’t just a fling, even if we didn’t go on lavish trips around the world or fancy dates like you did with Gemma. There was something there. You took me to that lovely restaurant, but then I never heard from you again? Why?”

Suresh sighed and ran his large fingers through his hair.

“It was because of Gemma.” He noticed Gabi wince but he continued. “I saw her while we were having dinner. Before that night, I had been able to numb my feelings… I could pretend that I was okay. That I was over her. But that night…that night changed everything. I realized then that I’m still - I was still in love with her and I couldn’t continue seeing you.”

“Wait, what night was this?” Gemma asked, confused.

“You were out with your parents at Chez Louis. You looked so happy. I loved seeing you like that. Your parents seemed to be in a really good place too.”

“Yeah, they are,” she beamed at him.

“And this,” Gabi said, motioning to the two of them, “is exactly why I wanted to have a private conversation, Suresh.”

“I’m sorry. Gabi, I don’t want to hurt you, that’s not my intention here. You’re right, I did like you. You were fun to be around when I was in a dark place, you helped me out of that rut and I’m thankful for that. But Gabi, my feelings for you were never anywhere near what I feel for Gemma. Yes, it was a dick move to ghost you and I’m sorry for that. I should’ve ended things properly and I hope you’ll see this now as me ending things properly with you.”

“You’re losing out on the best thing you could’ve ever had,” Gabi snapped as she sauntered away from the roof terrace, slamming the door behind her.

Gemma snorted as she stared at the door. “You sure know how to pick ‘em, Suresh.”

“I picked you once, didn’t I?”

“Now that was the best thing you ever did,” she retorted instinctively, then froze up as she realized what she'd said.

“Couldn’t agree with you more,” smirked Suresh, but before either of them had a chance to say anything else, Nicolas swung the roof terrace door open.

“Hey beautiful, thought you might need your caffeine,” he said, handing her a large iced coffee, exactly how she liked it. “Also wanted to let you know I just finished breakfast, I wasn't sure if you were done here since I saw Gabi go downstairs.”

Gemma looked at Suresh, uncertain of what to do.

“I uhm…”

**TEXT PING**

“I’ve got a text!” Lulu shouted from the kitchen below. “Oh my god! Suresh!! Where are you?”

“Hold up Lu, we’re coming right down,” Nicolas shouted over the side.

Gemma and Suresh looked at each other and he sighed.

“We’ll talk later?” Suresh asked.

Gemma looked at him and hesitated. There was still so much left to say. So many things she needed answers to. She needed more time with him. But what if they weren’t the ones she wanted?

“Please, Gem,” he whispered.

“Um…okay, maybe later. Let’s go Nic,” she said with her hand outstretched to him.

Nicolas interlaced his fingers with Gemma’s and led her away from the roof terrace downstairs to the kitchen, Suresh walking behind them. As soon as they stepped outside, Lulu squealed as she came running towards them.

“Babe! We’re going on a date!” She showed him the text, barely able to stand still.

“What!?” Kat snarled. “Finn and I have been coupled for weeks and you two get to go on a date. How is that fair?”

“You’ve already been on a date with Finn,” Dana pointed out.

“That one didn’t even count, it was early days! Urgh! Let’s go, Finn.” Kat grabbed Finn by the arm, leading him away to the loungers.

Lulu grabbed Suresh's hand and tugged. “Come on, babe, let’s go get ready!”

He gave her a charming smile and did as she asked. Gemma stared after them, her chest tightening as she begged for him to turn around.

If you still love me you’ll turn back and look at me. If you still love me you’ll turn back and look at me. If you still love me you’ll turn back and look at me.

Her breathing hitched slightly as a chill ran up her spine when he turned and glanced back at her, giving her a small smile.

#litg suresh #litg ex in the villa #love island the game #litg mc #litg s5 #litg #litg fanfiction #litg eitv #litg ff #litg season 5 #litg fanfic #litg gemma x suresh #litg gemma #exinthevilla #ex in the villa #love island the game: ex in the villa #no other love

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luckyqueenreign · 2 years

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No Other Love - Chapter 4: Sparks

Gemma deals with the fallout of a hidden truth from Suresh's past...

🎵 Song 🎵: Sparks

My heart is yours It's you that I hold on to Yeah, that's what I do

thank u to my fave @katsie for editing as per usual 💖💖 my EIC

Tag list: @katsie @future-mrs-suresh @litg-burnbook @0shewrites0 @bradybunch111 @whati390 @hi-im-karla @fujihime-litg @kunepie @differenttyphoonwerewolf @earlyevenings @pho3nixx67 @sienna2world @kikithegr8 @theesocialintrovert @iamgaryrennells @kiwi-tai @sortedchaos @pus-things @abecerra611 @ordoesshemouthfuckyouforever (let me know if you want to be added on to tag list)

Read on Ao3

They always say your life flashes before your eyes when you’re about to die. Fast moving images of happier times. Maybe it was meant to be a calming presence to remind you of your best times on Earth before you ventured into the other side. Was she dying? Why were all of her good memories with Suresh flashing before her eyes now? The two of them in a helicopter ride over Dubai, jumping off the side of a yacht and swimming in the Mediterranean, decorating a Christmas tree while his parents’ mischievous cat tried to knock the ornaments off, the two laughing while they sipped wine and danced around in their underwear, drunk off happiness more than the wine they consumed. But she knew she wasn’t dying, she could feel her heart beating erratically like it was trying to escape her body, so she was definitely alive.

“He was going to propose to me, not her. ME!”

The words echoed around in her head, causing her actual physical pain. She didn’t know what to do, what to think. She was completely overwhelmed by the tsunami of emotions crashing down on her, taking her under. She felt like she was gonna throw up. This couldn’t be happening. It just couldn’t be. But it was. And it was happening in front of everyone. It was happening on TV. God she wanted to cry. She closed her eyes briefly and took a deep breath.

Slowly the white noise around her cleared up. She blinked, clearing the haze from her eyes, and looked up at Kat who was standing in front of her, bombarding her with expletives and evil glares. She heard Finn close by, trying to make his way over, trying to reason with Kat. Meera was demanding Alfie explain why he hadn’t chosen her movie but Alfie was busy lashing out at Suresh, demanding answers about the supposed engagement ring. Suresh ignored him and pleaded with Gemma to have a private chat away from the others, Gabi hot on his heels demanded her own answers while Dana tried to stop her. It was complete and utter chaos.

“Hey.” Gemma turned when she heard Lulu’s soft voice cut through the deafening shouts.

“You look a bit overwhelmed,” said Lulu. “Do you want to get out of here?”

Gemma nodded. “Yes.”

“Oh, no you don’t,” Kat snapped and grabbed Gemma’s arm as she stood up. “I am not done with you!”

“Kat, please–” Finn pleaded.

“Fuck off, Finn!” Kat sneered, glaring at Gemma. “You’re not getting off that easy. We need to talk about Finn’s movie.”

Gemma yanked her arm free, barely glancing at Kat as she walked back towards the villa.

“Gemma, get back here!” Kat screamed.

“Gemma, you have to let me explain!” Suresh called out after her.

“Gemma, I didn’t say any of those things!” Nicolas shouted. “It was edited! That movie was completely out of context, the boys were winding me up. They got me to the point of saying those things but it’s not how I actually feel. I’d never say those things about you, it was just banter with the boys, you gotta trust me they didn’t show the full footage.”

That made Gemma spin on her heels, eyes ablaze with fury. “Let me get this straight,” she seethed. “Not only do you think I’m, what did you call it again, ‘desperate and lonely’? But you also take me for an absolute fool? Do you really think I’m that stupid?”

“Gemma–” Nicolas tried.

“Fuck off, Nicolas.”

“No, production needs to answer for the lies they edited together!” Nicolas continued. “It’s very convenient that Pete and Johnny aren’t here to back me up, but I never said those things.”

Gemma looked at him and laughed bitterly. “The fact that you’re still lying about what was said when it was clear as day, is baffling. So I want to make myself abundantly clear so you aren’t confused by any ‘production edits.’ I will never in a million years be with you. I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to even look at you. Leave me alone.”

“But Gem-”

“She said to leave her the fuck alone, Nicolas,” Suresh snarled. He walked the four short steps over to her and cupped her face while he tucked a strand of loose hair around her ear.

“G, please, let me explain this,” said Suresh, and Gemma’s eyes locked on his. She didn’t try to hide the tears that rushed to her sea green eyes, there was no use. “I promise it’s not what you think–”

“I thought your lies couldn’t get any worse, Suresh,” Alfie interrupted.

“You were planning to marry Gabi while you were stringing Gemma along?” asked Finn.

“You’re a real piece of work, Suresh,” Dana snickered while Kat clicked her tongue. “Yeah, good luck explaining your way out of this one.”

“That’s enough!” Suresh roared, rendering all of the islanders speechless. “This has nothing to do with any of you, none of you know what you’re talking about!”

“How do they not, Suresh?” said Gabi, having pushed her way past the others. “I know what I found.”

“Gabi–”

“How else do you explain the large emerald cut diamond ring I found buried deep in your closet?”

“W-what?” Gemma looked between Gabi and Suresh. “Did you say an emerald cut? With smaller baguette diamonds on the side?”

Gabi gave her a confused look. “H-how did you know?”

Gemma’s eyes locked back onto Suresh’s, and she opened her mouth to speak but words evaded her. She closed her mouth and tried again.

“Like…like we always talked about…like my nan’s ring?” she asked, tears still flowing down her cheeks.

He swallowed but nodded, then took a deep breath before he continued. “The ring was never meant for Gabi,” he said, shifting uncomfortably on his feet. “It was meant for you.”

She was trembling, feelings of panic and despair now replaced with confusion and anger.

“Why didn’t you say something sooner?” she whispered indignantly.

“I felt terrible after Excess Baggage. It was selfish of me not to say something sooner, but it broke my heart to know that I ruined everything between us. That you wanted everything I wanted, too.”

“So everything you did, our whole relationship, was all based on lies?” Gabi’s question snapped them both back and Suresh turned to look at her. She was watching him with tears in her eyes.

“It’s always been about her, hasn’t it? I was nothing to you?”

“Gabi…” He slumped his shoulders and sighed. “I won’t make excuses for myself. I shouldn’t have led you on, and I should’ve been more upfront about my feelings. I wasn’t ready for a relationship so soon, not after…” He cleared his throat. “I-I’m sorry for everything I’ve put you through. Both of you.”

“Whatever, Suresh.” Gabi stalked off towards the kitchen with Dana and Lulu following close behind her.

“Gem, can we go chat about this, please?” Suresh asked. Gemma swallowed, her chest so tight and filled with more emotions than she knew what to do with. “Please, I need to talk to you. Alone. About everything we’ve seen tonight.”

“Okay.” Her reply came out in an unsure whisper, but he heard it nonetheless. She cleared her throat, then repeated, “Okay. We can talk.”

The two of them made their way onto the roof terrace, both silent, timid and anxious. Neither of them knew what to do, what to say. Gemma felt a chill from the night air. All she wanted was for Suresh to hold her, wrap her arms around her, tell her everything was going to be okay. Like he’d used to. But at the same time, she didn’t want him to touch her, there was still too much going on, too many emotions she couldn’t control. There was just still too much left unsaid. They sat down in the same spot they’d talked a couple of days prior, but this time closer, no more than a foot of tensioned air between them. Neither made any move to separate or move further apart.

Suresh nervously ran his large fingers through his hair and looked at Gemma. He carefully reached out and took her hands, relieved when she didn’t pull away. Then he sighed deeply. “Gem…I’m not really sure where to begin.”

“Why don’t you start with why you didn’t tell me about the ring, Suresh.”

“I’m sorry. I had my reasons for not saying anything, though I know they’re all stupid and I regret not saying something to you sooner. I never mentioned the ring because I realized I don’t deserve someone like you.”

With her brows furrowed, she didn’t hide her confusion but she let him continue.

“You’ve never cheated, you deserve someone who has never put you through that pain and hurt. When I found out you wanted to propose too, my entire world shattered. To know that we could’ve been married right now had I not made that one mistake…it…it broke me.”

Suresh shifted uncomfortably in his seat, biting back the tears that threatened to spill out of the corners of his eyes. He drew a shaky breath and continued.

“That’s why I wanted you to move on. I knew Alfie was head over heels about you and at the time it just made sense that you should move on with someone like him. Dependable, caring, someone who had been burned before and would never do something like that to someone else.” Suresh sucked his teeth and rolled his eyes as he continued. “But clearly you can’t trust anyone in here and I ended up putting you through even more unnecessary hurt.”

Gemma considered his words, desperately holding her cards to her chest. Not wanting to reveal anything too soon, terribly afraid that if she revealed how she truly felt for him this house of cards they’d built would quickly come crashing down.

“Cheating on you…” He paused, chewing on the inside of his cheek to shift the pain to something physical that he could focus on instead of the emotions causing havoc in his mind. “It was the single greatest mistake of my life. I’ve gone back to the moment several times in my head, wishing I could change the outcome, turn back time somehow. But obviously I never could. So I’ve had to live with that guilt and the pain after what I did. I’ve spent so many nights thinking about the life we could’ve had together, the life we always dreamed about. Anytime I’d see a small little teddy bear looking dog on the street I’d think of you and the dog we always talked about getting after we moved in together. Every time I’d walk in my empty, lonely flat, I was hit with the cruel reminder that I wasn’t coming home to you, in the house we always dreamed about buying.”

He breathed in sharply, as if the memory alone hurt him too much and he continued.

“In the early days after it happened, I racked my brain trying to think of ways to get you to forgive me but I soon realized my efforts were futile, you were never coming back. But then Simon told me you were coming on Love Island and it felt like fate or God or whatever was calling out to me. I couldn’t just give up on you. I had to try one more time. For you, Gemma. For us.”

Gemma bit her lip nervously, she was so confused, there were so many emotions clouding her mind at the moment. They’d been playing a game of hide and seek with their feelings since they first arrived in the villa. But could she continue with this game? Especially if she was the only one playing?

All she wanted to do in this moment was reach out and touch his face, bring him closer to her, kiss him like she used to so many times before. Tell him how much she still loved him, how much she still wanted to be with him. But her fear got the better of her and she just looked at him with tear-stained eyes and said, “You’ve made a big mess of everything, haven’t you?”

“I know I have G, and I’m sorry. I truly am. You’re the only person that I’ve ever loved. As much as I’ve tried to forget what we had, I can’t. I’m still in love with you. I will never not be in love with you.”

Gemma knew she shouldn’t, it was still too soon, there were still so many things up in the air, but she felt like she was going to explode. She knew her emotions were clouding her thinking, the rational part of her brain screaming at her to take a step back. But she didn’t listen. Instead she leaned in and their lips met in a single impulsive motion. The kiss started off slow and tender, both too scared to push the other too far. But soon it became feverish and desperate as they both realized how much they missed each other, remembered how much they loved each other. By the time they finally broke apart, he rested his forehead against hers as they tried to catch their breath. He couldn’t help but smile wide.

“God, I’ve missed you.” He squeezed her tighter.

A soft sob escaped her lips. “I’ve missed you too, Resh.”

They just sat in silence for a moment, both drinking in the familiar smell of the other, trying to wrap their collective minds around what had just happened. “Babe, what does this mean for us?” Suresh asked, and although it was only a whisper it tore through the silence like a knife.

Gemma paused, trying to think. What did this actually mean for them? She couldn’t hide her feelings for him anymore, moreover she didn’t want to. But she was still terrified of what could happen if she got too close again. She shuddered to think of the last time she had and how he had broken her to her core. Shattering any semblance of who she was previously. She looked at him again and knew there was only one answer.

“I think it’s time I stopped ignoring my feelings for you and embraced what this is, what this could be. I’m done with the avoidance and the resentment.” She felt her throat close up, so she pulled away from him to try and collect herself, trying to clear her mind just a little. “I’ve known for a long time, even if I’ve tried to tell myself I don’t, I do.” She met his gaze, his eyes finally showing the vulnerability she had longed for.

“I still love you,” she said, and as she did so she felt herself relax, the tension leaving her body and she finally let go of the delusion she’d clung to to keep herself afloat. “I’ve never stopped loving you. But If we did decide to try again, we wouldn’t be the same.”

“I don’t need us to be the same.” He reached out and cupped her face, brushed his thumb over her cheek. “I just need us to be us again.” Then he wrapped his arms around her as tight as he could, almost not believing that this was actually happening. He pulled away just enough to kiss her, trying to convey how much he loved her and how sorry he was and how thankful he was. They both knew tonight wouldn’t solve all their problems, but they were together again and that was enough for now.

As Suresh looked over the terrace he saw the lawn was completely empty, he noticed everyone else had made their way inside for bed.

“I don’t want to rush you,” he said, clearing his throat. “But would you want to sleep outside on the daybeds with me tonight?”

“Being that the alternative is sleeping in a bed with Nicolas–” Gemma grimaced, making Suresh chuckle “–I think I’ll sleep with you tonight.”

“That’s not the only reason you want to sleep with me tonight and you know it,” he snickered.

“Maybe not,” she admitted, a comfortable warmth settling in her chest. She kissed him again softly before they headed inside to get ready for bed.

Gemma couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept so well. Even with the insane heat of the Mallorcan sun pounding down on them and Suresh’s leg splayed on top of her, his arm draped over her creating a pool of sweat in between their limbs, she’d never felt happier. She looked at his sleeping face and smiled, lacing her fingers through his hair.

“Mmm…that feels good.”

He opened his eyes slowly, bringing her closer to him still, pressing her body into his as he crashed his lips onto hers. His kiss grew bolder and more persistent, their hands exploring each other's bodies for the first time in over a year. As she pulled away slowly she could hear some islanders heading into the kitchen.

“We should probably get up, babe,” she sighed.

“No…” he groaned, hugging her closer, burying his head in her neck.

She started giggling, but he slowly started to get up, stretching his toned God-like physique.

“Breakfast?”

“Yes, please,” she beamed.

“Come on then. I need my sous chef, I’m gonna make your favorite chocolate chip pancakes.”

At the prospect of delicious food, Gemma got up quickly. She took his hand in hers, and they walked to the kitchen together. She couldn’t help but to think of how different this morning was to the many mornings she’d had so far in the villa. The sun seemed to shine brighter, the sea in the distance seemed calmer, bluer, the birds’ songs seemed chipper, happier. It was like the world was righting itself just for the two of them. As they entered the kitchen, the warmth they felt seconds prior was washed away by an icy glare from Kat who sat on a stool, as if she was waiting for them to arrive. Meera and Alfie did not seem to have fully resolved their issues from last night either as they coldly prepared breakfast.

“Gemma,” Kat spat menacingly. “We should chat.”

“Kat…Suresh and I are about to have breakfast. We can chat after.”

Kat stood up abruptly like a defiant toddler. “NO! NOW! You owe me.”

“Just go. I’ll get things started,” Suresh said, squeezing her shoulders. Then he leaned down and whispered in her ear to make sure no one else heard. “Just stay close, so I can see you if I need to come over and save you.”

She couldn’t help but smile at his words, but she took his advice and chose a lounger close to the kitchen area.

“Ok Kat, I’m here.”

Kat leered. “I need to know what’s going on between you and Finn.”

Gemma couldn’t help but laugh. Other than the movie last night, she’d had no other indication that Finn had ever even been interested in her. He’d barely glanced her way since their first date and the first recoupling.

“Kat, seriously? Nothing.” She made sure to put extra emphasis on ‘nothing’ to try and knock it into Kat’s head. “Anytime I’ve ever chatted with Finn, it’s about you. His movie caught me completely off guard. But for me, there’s nothing there. Suresh and I are finally starting to work things out, and he’s my only focus right now. I’m not interested in anyone else.”

“Well you need to let Finn know that,” Kat growled. “I don’t need him thinking he has a chance with you.”

“I’m saying this because I’m your friend, or at the very least I thought we were until yesterday. I don’t have to do anything. It was his movie, his feelings or whatever they are for me. Not the other way around. And if you think that him pining for me or anyone else would hurt your chances, well–” Gemma spread her arms and gave a slight shrug “–maybe he’s not the guy for you.”

She stood up and walked back to the kitchen, not giving Kat a chance to respond. She was done, she’d said her piece and there was nothing left to talk about. She came up behind Suresh and wrapped her arms around his waist, watching as he slid the first pancake onto a plate and poured more batter on the skillet.

“That was quick,” he said as he craned his neck to look at her. “How’d it go?”

“I just told her I didn’t know why Finn said what he said in his video and that we’re trying to work things out now and I’m not interested in getting to know him or anyone else.”

“You don’t?” Suresh asked anxiously.

“You do?!”

“No!” he laughed. “It’s just really nice to hear that you don’t either though, we didn’t really talk about that last night.” He expertly flipped the pancake, landing perfectly on the skillet.

She smiled at him gently before she inched her way in front of him and buried her face in his chest. She wordlessly clung to him, breathing in his scent, feeling his chest rise, his strong arms around her waist. Just two days before, she thought she’d never be able to hold him like this again. That he’d never hold her like this again. Caress her hair, like he was now, and kiss the top of her head. He cupped her chin and made her look at him. He didn’t need to say anything for her to know how much he loved her, his eyes said it all on their own. She could see her future in his eyes now.

“Hey, love birds…whatever you’re cooking is burning,” Dana laughed.

Breaking them out of their haze, Gemma and Suresh looked down to a black, smokey pancake. Suresh made a face as he dumped the pancake in the bin while Gemma laughed.

After the chaos of the night before and the residual dust that needed to settle after the whirlwind from that morning, the afternoon seemed to calm down a bit with the islanders hanging out in smaller groups dispersed throughout the villa. Some liaised and swam in the pool, some hung out in the gym, but Gemma found herself nestled with Suresh in the daybeds again. Talking about everything and nothing at all, reminiscing about Suresh’s insane family cat, both in a fit of giggles when a text ping interrupted them.

“I’ve got a text!” Gabi shouted excitedly from the pool. The other islanders all gathered around her as she read it out.

ISLANDERS TONIGHT THERE WILL BE A RECOUPLING. THE GIRLS WILL EACH CHOOSE WHO THEY WANT TO COUPLE UP WITH #LadiesNight

Gemma looked up at Suresh but he was already looking down and beaming at her, she smiled back but she couldn’t help but notice she wasn’t the only one looking at him with interest.

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