#no wonder xehanort turned out so fucked up

[cosmosnout]

Thinking about the end of khdr and how our keykid is implied to be Xehanorts caretaker, in which case I fully blame my keykid for every bad thing that Xehanort has ever done.

[voids-voyager]

Vibe check for borderline crack but also kinda serious AU where Baldr somehow finds himself heart freeloading in Riku years after his death, and now Riku has a keyblade wielder with a body count hanging around over the events of the mainline games. Baldr haunting the narative figuratively AND literally.

Extra features such as Riku and Baldr having extra strong light in them because to quote the intro to KH1 "the closer you get to light the greater your shadow becomes" but much like how negative times can easily overtake positive ones, it's not easily noticeable.

Featuring events such as:

Hanging around Destiny Islands as an incorporeal ghost that can barely interact with Riku but spending most of his time sleeping or at ease kinda does wonders for all those repressed emotions and trauma.

Adults think Riku has an imaginary friend. Riku was halfway convinced he was being haunted thanks to Baldr's white hair, eyes and lashes.

Baldr gets attached. Just a little bit.

Watching Riku struggle with his inner darkness and feeling abandoned in KH1 hits a little too close for comfort for Baldr, but hey, he knows from experience that anyone's voice would be preferable to the darkness.

Baldr clocking Xehanort almost immediately and going what the fuck. What the hell are you doing. Bastard what happened to you after all these years. Finds out Xehanort's trying to create Kingdom Hearts and is all OH so when *I* try to do it, you kill me, but if it's you, it's totally fine? I hope the kid beats your ass.

Baldr popping in as a voice in the climax and giving Ansem Seeker of Darkness a crisis before he dies, which he didn't quite *mean* to but he can still read emotions as a heart ghost. Feels kinda good he's not gonna lie.

Riku eventually grows taller than Baldr and he feels slighted. Offended. You're supposed to be a pipsqueak stop that.

Riku instead of turning into Ansem SoD in KH2 takes on the form of Baldr from connecting with his own darkness and, by proxy, Baldr. Instead of getting taller he gets shorter.

Cue Baldr weighing the pros and cons of Riku revealing his new form in front of Xemnas like- Cons: The possible rise of danger my heart innkeeper will be in. Pros: Chaos.

Sora squinting at Baldr!Riku until he screams and points like "YOU'RE THE GUY! FROM RIKU'S DRAWINGS! THE GHOST!" and Kairi doesn't get it until Sora reminds her of the guy Riku sometimes talked about when they were kids and drew pictures of and then SHE'S pointing like !??!!?! and Riku's like uuuuhhhh I can explain but it'll take a while.

"You know Xehanort? Why didn't you say anything??" "Yeah he was my classmate. And then he executed me after I killed the others in our class. And some of our upperclassmen. It's not the best conversation opener."

Riku becoming understandably distressed once he finds out how exactly Baldr died and the lead-up to his breakdown. Has to go talk to Mickey and be reassured that if Riku ever loses his way in the darkness again, they'll pull him right out no matter how many times it takes.

Baldr tries very, very hard not to be bitter.

"My feelings about my friends, sister and place of birth are complicated on the best of days, but I'm glad you don't have to live with the suffocating guilt and anxiety that there's something inherently wrong with you for having even a sliver more darkness in you than what's considered acceptable and worrying your loved ones will put you down if they find out. I'm glad you have people who understand you, and who try to understand you."

"Do you ever wish you could meet your sister again?" "I'm content mourning her."

The state of Sora, Riku and Kairi's friendship and complicated feelings about each other is almost enough to give Baldr an aneurysm when he feels them.

The fun of DDD where Baldr can take a solid form inside the dream realm and meets young Xehanort when his death is still fresh in his mind :^ )

Baldr, finding out about what happened with Eraqus and his apprentices; "Goddamnit Eraqus."

Someone telling Riku to follow his heart and he goes "Are you asking me to kill?"

Baldr; The number one guy who can get under Xehanort's skin and tear down his 'specialest guy' mindset, and only partly because his emotions are an open book to him. Takes a look at adult versions of him and goes "Oh I want to bully him so bad, it'd be so easy." Xehanort; Has spent the last decades researching darkness because of Baldr, while also pointedly not thinking about Baldr, that Baldr killed their friends, or that Xehanort killed him.

Why is Baldr in Riku? Eeeh, unsure. Mayhaps the kids were all meant to go to Quadratum after they died but Baldr went "nope" and drifted around instead until Riku was born and his heart went "oh twinsies". Maybe his classmates have been looking for him, after time has passed to think and reflect yet there's still been no sign of him.

And since I'm a sucker for happy endings all the DR kids reunite in Quadratum and Xehanort and Baldr can now kick each other's ankles and be the kind of pair that would be unbelievably toxic where they different people but it somehow works. Being able to read your partner's emotions would be very one-sided in any situation except where they can read yours right back.

[isan0rt]

Back on my 'being sad about Xehanort' bullshit again while I should be going to sleep but thinking about how Eraqus in kh3 is able to succeed where Hoder failed (at coming back from the dead to talk Xehanort down) because it is the first time in Xehanort's actual entire life that he has ever been offered what he perceives to be unconditional love.

Like going back to 'my guess is nobody's ever loved you' like we the player as an objective third party now know that's not true and people did genuinely love him but like... Does Xehanort know that? His whole life is characterized by abandonment and the subtle implication that he will be rejected if he fails to live up to expectations.

Like. His very first chronological experience on screen is being given up by his mother. When he's only like five years old he asks if he can see her again if he can be strong enough at resisting darkness - even at that age, he feels that being able to meet HIS MOTHER!! is conditional on his performance. He describes the Dandelions as 'seeming like they all like each other' and asks if that's what having friends is like because he's not allowed to have friends, unless he's good and strong enough.

Player loves him but they love him for being Ephemer's blood. They put so much pressure on Xehanort about being the child of destiny, how can Xehanort interpret that in any way except that if he fails at that, he's not worthy of Player's love? Then Player dies too and it's not even clear how long Xehanort was TOTALLY ALONE on that island before Ansem sent him on his way, but what does that isolation do to him? No wonder he hates Destiny Islands so much??

And then in Scala he finally has friends but there's this undercurrent that any relationship in Scala is conditional on agreeing with the dogma about the light. Xehanort kind of tentatively floats the idea a few times that it's more complicated than that but he ALWAYS pulls it back when Eraqus has a serious negative reaction to the idea - and then he sees what happens to fucking Baldr, where Hoder rejects him right in front of Xehanort for falling to darkness, and he loses everyone but Eraqus, the one he cares about the most but also the one most likely to judge him and find him lacking. Of course he ends up feeling isolated, and like he can't confide in Eraqus?? Just like Baldr, he can't feel safe talking to his closest person about his feelings, because for him, love has always been conditional, and remains conditional throughout his entire life. Of course he gives up on it, and decides to just burn the whole place down, if that's the thing that's expected of him. The only thing that makes him worthwhile.

Until... The end of kh3. When Eraqus, who realized his mistake with Terra was also his mistake with Xehanort, extends the same grace to Xehanort that he learned to with Terra. When he says 'I know what you've done, but it doesn't change that I love you and want you to turn back.' It is the first time anyone has ever told Xehanort in literally his ENTIRE LIFE that they're not going to abandon him regardless of what he does.

Like not to have turned into a big ol Xehanort Apologist but it genuinely just makes me so sad. His life is so lonely. We have all dragged Woody because Xehanort had friends but Woody is right; no one has ever loved him at that point in his life in the way he needed. If they had, he probably would not have turned out Like That.

(Edit to clarify when it's not midnight: this is about Xehanort's perceptions of how the people in his life love him and not necessarily how his parents/parental figures actually felt. Yes Xehanort was an empath but not a mind reader and there was no way for him to know that the love he felt wouldn't be revoked if he didn't live up to the expectations on him, given his track record of repeatedly losing almost everyone who loved him.)

[tis-i-bi-oxirito]

Ok ok, so I have a (possibly bad) theory that isn’t really a theory but more my brain trying to figure stuff out

So, ever since Kingdom Hearts III, I’ve kinda been wondering, in the back of my messy, messy mind, why Ephemera helped (? I’m guessing he was the one leading the fallen kids, at least) Sora at the Keyblade Graveyard.

I mean, I get why, big heartless storm, xehanort being xehanort, xehanort being Ephemera’s descendent (that was kinda confirmed right? I don’t remember for sure) which kinda makes him his responsibility a bit, yada yada yada.

It’s more like, why didn’t he do it before. Like, it’s not the first confrontation against old man Xehanort chronogically in the series. Why didn’t Ephemera help at the confrontation at the end of BBS? I mean, Ven was his friend, surely he’d want to help him not, you know, die or even just get turned into a weapon of mass destruction? (I gotta mention: Vanitas gets helped by the fallen kids’ keyblades during that confrontation iirc, so was that because of the darkness? Because he used to be part Ventus so he kinda counts as a union leader? Why wasn’t Ven helped by the keyblades then? Did Ephemera try to help Ven but accidentally chose the wrong one (oopsie teehee, oh well, better luck next time)? Anyways that’s weird and has always bothered me ever since I knew whose keyblades those were)

One of the explanations I can see for Ephemera no helping then is that Xigbar was running interference or something. I guess he didn’t interfere in KH III because of the Book of Prophecies or something, idk. Maybe Ephemera also didn’t act because of something in the Book of Prophecies, idk, I’m just trying to find some explanations

(Actual theory under the cut ahah)

But yeah, anyways, my bad theory

It came to me, as I was eating tortellini in the dark at 11:30 PM after taking a longer-than-planned 5 hours nap, what if… Sora was Ephemera’s reincarnation? Ok ok that’s a really shaky theory, I’ll admit it, but I don’t control was goes on in that brain (ahah, Brain) of mine

In any case, back to what I was saying, tortellini, 5 hour nap, Sora is maybe Ephemera’s reincarnation, ok, right, yes, back on track. So, Ephemera totally, very definitely died, right? It’s been like, a couple of centuries most likely, so he is either super dead, some kind of ghost just haunting the Keyblade Graveyard, or he’s the world’s oldest grandpa. From what we’ve seen in khux, when someone dies (or at least a keyblade wielder) for realsies (kingdom hearts death tends to be, ha, ephemeral), they either become a dream eater or they go in the reincarnation cycle or whatever (from what I remember at least, it’s been a minute). So either Ephemera turned into a cute colourful animal that 100% deserves a pet, or he went on to reincarnate, ya know?

(He could have also said ‘fuck you rules of the universe, I never liked you anyways’ and created a third option for himself out of sheer will. If anyone could, it would be him)

But yeah anyways, that could explain why he only shows up, cool red scarf swaying in the wind anime style, to Sora. Like, maybe a small tiny part of his soul (heart?) remained

It could also explain why Sora’s heart healed Ven’s at the beginning of BBS. There’s the reason that Sora’s heart was a newborn one of course, but if he was Ephemera’s reincarnation, then it’s not hard to believe that he would be drawn in by Ven’s presence.

Also, Ephemera has an association with the color red due to his scarf. You know who else is usually associated with red? Sora (and Lea, whose entire existence is red, but this ain’t about him)

(I have also thought of the possibility that Sora is maybe Ephemera’s descendant instead, but that would mean that he’d be related to Xehanort which is wild, but I do think that that theory is even more shaky than the reincarnation one. Tbh, I think that Riku being Ephemera’s descendant could be more likely, which, again, would make him related to old man Xehanort. Omg i just had an idea for an AU where Riku is actually Xehanort’s son/grandson, but that’s a story for another day i guess)

So, yeah, here’s my bad and unlikely theory. This is my first time making a post of this kind and I still don’t know how tumblr works so I’m very sorry if this looks like an incomprehensible mess. Thanks for reading though :)

[nobodies-png]

Hello! Could I request Kairi reacting to her S/O being norted and is a member of the Real Org XIII (specifically have them being a reserve, like Demyx and Vexen). If you can't do it then that's fine!

Her heart sinks when she meets your gaze, that golden hue in your eyes taunting her. Yellow eyes don’t suit you at all, she misses their original color so much. She misses your usual expression. Kairi is overcome with feeling, wondering if she failed to protect you, if you felt too neglected while she trained, if she could’ve done anything at all to keep this from happening. But the moment passes quickly, replaced with the resolve to bring you back. 

It hurts her to think about what you must be going through and she becomes very defensive whenever anyone tries to discuss where your true loyalties lie, to the point where people simply stop talking about you altogether. For her sake. Kairi has seen what the power of darkness has done to Riku, what it almost did to Sora - all three of them lost a big part of their childhoods because of it, she can’t allow that to happen to you.

Xehanort took you from her and that’s not something Kairi will forgive so easily, not when he’s already taken so much from her. This is her last fucking straw. She’s done waiting around safe and sound, away from the danger. The second she confirms with the rest that it’s indeed you and not some lookalike, Kairi is dashing out the door with Lea in tow to find you. She has no idea where she’s going, but one way or another, she’ll find her way to you. 

Your status as a reserve turns out to be an advantage for her, it doesn’t take long for her to find you. Your superiors warned you about this possibility, so you’re ready to face her - or at the very least, try to not crumble under the pressure - but instead you’re met with Kairi’s soft and loving expression. And that’s when you’ll know she doesn’t hold it against you. She’s angry, but not at you. No matter how many times you turn her away or try to fight her, Kairi will always bounce back on her feet. Someone has to remind you that you can come back. You can always come back. 

It goes without saying, this entire thing takes a massive toll on her general health. She’ll push herself even harder, making a lot of progress in short periods of time at the expense of her body or staying up all night, trying to find other ways to help. Can she even call herself a Princess of the Heart if she can’t obliterate Xehanort’s influence out of you with a flick of her wrist? Kairi promises that she won’t allow herself to cry, not until you’re back home with her.

[last-flight-of-fancy]

okay here we go, Vanitas theory time because I can’t stop thinking about it. As with any theory I am fully aware and prepared for this to be completely debunked, but hey, theorizing is fun and I think it’s a neat idea.

Which I’m gonna put under a cut bc I like to talk about my son and his potential a lot.

Before I jump headfirst into it I do want to say that this entire theory rests entirely on the assumption that the heart hotel isn’t quite empty yet, and that Vanitas is still quietly hiding out in Sora’s heart.

Personally, I am pretty confident in this assumption, but as it is not yet explicitely confirmed I do feel it necessary to put the disclaimer. It’s KH, there’s no telling what wild twists will throw everything we know into entirely new contexts.

In the interest of clarity I’ll do a brief overview of this idea for those who may not know. We see in KH that when a person dies goes sparkly glitter into another persons arms they tend to take up residence in that persons heart, like a safety net. We’ve seen this a bunch of times over the course of the series; Xion to Roxas, Eraqus to Terra, Kairi to Sora.

There’s even instances of it happening without any physical contact to speak of; Ven to Sora, Repliku to Riku... and i hesitate to add this one but honestly I suspect this happened with Strelitzia to Lauriam too. No confirmation on that tho, just a suspicion.

And then there’s of course the outliers, with Roxas to Sora not really fitting either category due to DiZ meddling, and the most curious one to me personally- Sora to Kairi, which should have happened but... didn’t.

(as with any hypothesis, it is important to consider points against your theory too, and this instance drives me nuts every time i think about it. WHY.)

The last we see of Vanitas in BBS is him vanishing into the glowing lights and into Ven’s heart station.

(listen I could talk about this scene all fucking day okay. Even Repliku vanished with dark whisps, but Vanitas glows just like all the other light aligned characters. when he hits the bottom the station lights up and reveals itself to be Ven’s. I have thoughts about this too but that is not this essay.)

Okay so bviously that’s all pretty straightforward, but surely he would have left with Ven too, right? When Ven was returned to his body?

Not necessarily.

The closest example to this I think would be Roxas and Xion; Xion was released first, despite being in theory two layers deep in Sora’s heart (as she was in Roxas’ heart when Roxas joined with Sora). Roxas was freed shortly thereafter, but I do think this does point to a heart within a heart within a heart is less a babushka doll of hearts and more... maybe an incomplete web, where the hearts may connect to each other, but they are far more connected to the center point (which here is Sora).

I also think it’s important that the narrative (specifically Remind) went out of it’s way to make it clear that the Vanitas in KH3 is from the past, drawn forward through time like several other members. I’ve seen people be angry about this as it’s also brought up at one point that Monsters Inc had enough negative energy to reform Vanitas all on it’s own, and well. Doesn’t that just seem sort of pointless?

So. Why point out there was an easier way to do what they did? I don’t think they would unless there was a reason they couldn’t. If current Vanitas is still hiding within Sora, he’s essentially unavailable to Xehanort. As a result he has to turn to other means by pulling a past version instead.

(there is also vaguely tangential evidence in things like Rage Form. Though I think this is equally likely to be only reflective of Sora’s declining mental state and repression, I’m noting it here anyway)

All that said I’m sure you’re wondering how this relates to my theory. It’s crucial honestly, for a couple different reasons.

Now, when it comes to KH there’s no real way to predict specifics. It is a series that adores twists and turns and red herrings, each one throwing previous revelations into whole new lights. It’s one of the reasons I love the series, so I’m going to try and keep my strokes here as broad as possible to avoid hinging everything on what could be an unfounded assumption.

Probably will still happen but hey, I’m gonna give it my best shot ;P

So my theory is this: Assuming the above is all true, Vanitas is perfectly positioned to be a critical part of how Sora and Riku get back home from Quadratum.

(and yes, I know FGM quips that if Riku runs into trouble he should come straight back home, but to me it felt like a light hearted joke, kinda as if to say ‘I know we can’t come with, but we’ve still got your back’. After the sheer amount of hoops they have to jump through to get Riku there, it would feel a little strange if he could now just jump back and forth at will. However, like with many things this is an assumption. We won’t know for sure until the next game, so for now I’m rolling with what I can see and interpret)

Kairi’s Memories, NS’s connection to the other world, Riku’s Dreams. All needed to make the jump.

Vanitas has the memories of Daybreak, even if a bit muddled and confused, he has the connection to Ven... Honestly that just leaves the dreams. (His only goal has been to feel whole, pain free. Could that be attained in the other reality? oops I’m slipping into blatant speculation again BUT STILL)

On a purely plot related level his connection to Ven, while antagonistic at best, could certainly serve the same function that the Nameless Star did in being the connection Riku needed to enter Quadratum. Whether they like it or not and even though they almost definitely can’t merge back into one person anymore, that connection remains.

But I have more than just plot reasons for this theory- Kingdom Hearts is a series that runs on emotion after all. It’s greatest strength is in it’s characters, their internal struggles, and how real those emotions feel and are felt. Even when (and perhaps especially when) those emotions are repeatedly denied by either the textual narrative or other characters.

Which is why I want to talk about how this could possibly go if indeed Vanitas is there with Sora, between their characters and what that could mean for them.

Obviously like I said earlier I can’t make any hard assumptions, and there’s no telling how exactly Vanitas will be reintroduced; an internal voice to Sora like Ven was in most of KH3? Something Sora can see and feel? Are they both within Yozora’s heart (as is the current theory) the whole time or do they transition elsewhere at some point? Something else entirely?

Regardless of the specifics it IS the perfect time for us to get that Vanitas Redemption Arc we’ve been begging for and that he’s deserved for so long.

(if you are somehow not on the Vanitas; Future Good Boy train and made it this far, I encourage you to read all the Vanitas centered excerpts from the novels and also check out the Hero’s and Heroine’s Medley from the Kingdom Hearts Orchestra, composed by the series musical genius Yoko Shimomura (who frequently places musical nods and hints in the soundtrack), which at the very tail end features Vanitas’ theme. The former highlights how Vanitas is a victim shaped by pain, circumstance, and lies, the latter hinting quite strongly at his potentional to be a force for good as far as I’m concerned)

https://remember-kingdom-hearts.tumblr.com/post/28798364782/bonus-translation-of-the-novel-chapter-dark no seriously if this bit of the novel doesn’t make you feel for Vanitas I dont know what will.

https://keijitranslates.tumblr.com/post/186619714655/vanitas-monologue-kh3-novel Vanitas’ kh3 monologue, which imo highlights how even he doesn’t really know what’s going on with him. His knowledge is both more than everyone else while also at the same time warped by manipulation and lies, making it confused and uncertain at best.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9VZ6XPFTlA The medley. Also it’s KH music and thus amazing. You all know this.

Not only that but he’s also in a perfect position to challenge Sora as well, assuming they get to talk to each other. If you know Violet Howler’s essays on KH and the Heroine’s journey (which I ADORE please watch them or read the doc if you have the time, they’re phenomenal), you may now be thinking about how he’s pointed out that Yozora is likely in the position of psychopomp to Sora’s descent. And I’m not disagreeing with this! We don’t really know yet what exactly Yozora’s deal is, but I do think Vanitas could serve as auxillery to this, forcing Sora to confront both his own Darkness and Darkness as not being wholly evil in general.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1h5l2II-JvkNE5en3B7emErk5O8QKB5p-LVDlmZFS_qw/ Violet Howler’s essay doc on the Heroine’s Journey

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPOVJTNgLjMz9Y0NBfFkSZQ The ongoing Video Essay’s on the same subject

(and if you would like some pure fantasy speculation here, I like to imagine this being done through poking at Sora’s own natural empathy. “You still hate the darkness. You can say you don’t but I’m not stupid. You reject the dark, you shrink away from your own shadows. You say I can be more than just bad, but I am always going to be made of darkness, so which is it, Sora? Because it can’t be both.”)

(also also, and i’m sorry for all these asides, but given all this I kind of think Yozora is going to be integral to making Sora realise his big fat gay Riku Feelings, while Vanitas is going to be more about making him realise that he still holds a number of unacknowledged biases)

Okay, so this is about as far as I got on my first brainstorm session on this theory, but when I came back to it later I realised there’s another part to this that I hadn’t considered yet, which handily solved the one thing I felt was missing from all this.

The past.

And it really did bug me until I figured out what it was, bc if you’re not considering all the pieces then you’ve probably missed something. Sure we (probably) get those delicious character arcs, but it left a lot of history sort of dangling in the wind, unresolved and unacknowledged. Stuff like Ven/Vani’s history in Daybreak, as Union leaders, their lost friends and just fucktons of trauma. Especially when it is implied in the novels that unlike Ven, Vanitas does remember at least a little bit of those Union days, it doesn’t feel right to never get any resolution on that.

And then I remembered that we’ve got a couple of other plots I’d forgotten about; namely with MoM in Qaudratum and the Foretellers in the regular verse. Both with their own ties to Daybreak, even if not directly to Ven, and both possibly heralding long awaited answers and resolutions to the khux storyline.

How exactly? Who knows, but the ties are certainly there and available. I fully expect either a series of cutscene’s or (hey I can dream) a whole game centered around the foreteller business, which I can only assume will involve Ven and the other former khux kids eventually. Something similar could happen with MoM and Vanitas. Granted this is drifting into speculation again, but hey, I see what I see.

All of this and then when all is said and done, the day is won and Sora and Riku have finally talked properly and done a big kiss of true love, Nameless Star is returned to her proper place... There’s our boys still trapped in Quadratum. I kind of expect this to be a sort of... bigger version of the Dark Margin scene at the end of KH2 honestly. The sentiment that they’ll be okay as long as they’re together, and happy at least for that, even if it means not being able to go home.

Am I saying Vanitas could be that letter in a bottle that bumped into their feet on the sands of the dark shore after an undisclosed amount of time? Yes, yes I am. Him and Ven both, with the full possibility that Kairi herself may end up involved as well, considering she has her own yet unexplored mysteries and is now apprenticing under Aqua, thus in close proximity to Ven for the foreseeable future.

But as always with KH, we’ll see how it goes. It’s always possible it will do something else entirely and I’ll be just as satisfied. I just needed to show you all my brain worms XD

[vanaqua]

For the Vanqua prompt, maybe something involving ice-cream?

(idk ahhhhh)

Yeah you know WHAT I got this! Prompt for Vanqua and ice cream under the cut.

This got out of hand! It's also NSFW! You have been warned. <3

-Mieusical

It was dripping down her chin.

Vanitas had a dead-eyed stare as he watched the melting ice cream slowly work its way down Aqua's chin in a sticky line. It wasn't that he was disgusted or anything. Quite the opposite. He wanted to lick it off with his tongue, clean her up forcibly in front of all the people at this god-forsaken theme park that she'd dragged him to. Fucking Disney Town. He wanted to tear down the loudspeakers blaring that stupid theme song with nothing but his bare hands and teeth. He'd been here before, certainly. Back when he was tormenting her and her two moronic lackeys before the fall of Xehanort.

Ventus and Terra would certainly complain if they could hear what he was thinking. Vanitas didn't give a half of a fuck. They WERE moronic. And she was so much better than them at everything that they might as well be her lackeys. By now, Vanitas certainly was.

Lackey, fuck buddy, boyfriend. It was all the same, right? Oh gross. That implied she was also fucking Ventus. Van would never stand for something like that.

Aqua glanced over at him, flushing a delicate pink at his stare. She knew what that look meant, and it was never anything other than trouble. "Van...?" she asked quietly, the hand holding her honeybunny cone falling into her lap. "Are you okay?"

"You've got something - " he started, making a vague gesture at her face. Aqua reached up to wipe at her cheek, completely misinterpreting what he was trying to say. Typical. Vanitas hummed, frowning, and she was just confused.

"Did I get it?" Aqua asked, rubbing again. Nothing was coming off on her hand, so she doubted it. And he still had the same stare, focused on her like the rest of the world had fallen away. The same look he always got when he wanted to do something that he didn't think she would approve of.

Vanitas shook his head. There was a small smirk spreading across his face, and Aqua's heart skipped a beat. He was going to lick it off. He was. She couldn't stop him. "Hold still, yeah?"

"Vanitas, what are you going to - "

Without another wasted moment, Van leaned forward, crossing the space between them on the bench. His hand came up to her cheek to hold her steady. Aqua's eyes were wide as they searched his, and she had to try very hard not to pull back. Not that she really wanted to. But they were in public. Vanitas wouldn't care about something so trivial, but Aqua certainly did. When he was close enough, he winked, then chased the line of melted ice cream up her chin with his tongue.

Aqua made an indignant noise that was quickly cut off by Vanitas' tongue licking into her mouth, shamelessly turning the movement into a heated kiss. He tasted like the spark lemon he had been steadily making his way through when she forgot herself and kissed him back. Their lips moved together for a moment, his tongue flicking out against hers, before his sharp teeth nipped at her bottom lip. Aqua felt her face heat up. People were staring. She pushed him away.

"Vanitas," Aqua hissed at him as he chuckled, licking his lips.

"What?" he asked, clearly amused. "You afraid that someone we know is going to walk by and learn your dirty little secret~? Come on now, Master Aqua. We've been fucking for years now. Just because you don't want to admit that a creature of darkness makes you hot - "

Aqua made another noise, furious. "I knew that bringing you here was a mistake."

"You're damn right it was, tits. I'm not made for polite society." He leaned back on the bench with a chuckle, and picked up his spoon again. "But you have this whole savior complex or something. What, did you think that bringing me here and buying me an ice cream was going to reform my soul?"

"N-no - " she paused and had to wonder if she was really so see through. Maybe she had hoped a little bit that if someone showed Vanitas kindness, he would want to change. Want to be more... normal.

Want to be less bestial.

"No, of course not." He sucked some ice cream off of his spoon, much too sensually. Vanitas knew how to work her up by now. And her gaze was locked on his mouth in a way that he knew meant she was thinking about him pleasuring her with it.

Aqua snapped out of it, her gaze snapping away from his mouth to his eyes with a glare. He did this every time they were together. If only he wasn't so damn good at getting her off, maybe she'd have an easier time focusing. "Would you just finish your ice cream so that we can go?"

"Go where?" Vanitas asked, surprised.

"I know a spot in the sewers where no one will bother us." Aqua's traitorous cheeks flushed red.

Vanitas' answering grin was sharp and delighted. "Filthy. Love it."

[miss-tc-nova]

Events Unchanged - Xehanort x Eraqus

So THIS is my final piece for the @checkmate-zine. I had a blast writing it and it’s probably one of my favorite pieces I’ve ever written. Please check out the other creators on this project because they are all absolutely amazing.​

Music Inspiration: End In Tragedy and MIssing You by Set It Off

Art by my queen @kingdomcarrots​

~~~~~

               The castle looms over the young man. This being his first stop, he’s not entirely sure he’s in the right place, or rather, the right time. The description of the place matches up, but he could be anywhere from minutes to decades off with no idea how to tell. Additionally, if he’s jumped even a minute too far, that complicates the whole plan.

               With really no other choice, he climbs the steps to the front door, letting himself in. He’d heard a little of this place, seen a few paragraphs in books, but the Land of Departure is such a small world compared to Scala Ad Caelum. However, this is very obviously an off-shoot of the Scala training school; the only real difference lies in the missing inhabitants. Such spacious halls lack the chatter of students and staff despite the well-kept appearance.

               “Identify yourself.”

               He stops. That gruff voice rumbles with the faintest hint of familiarity. Curiosity piqued, the young man turns back.

               It has to be him; it couldn’t be anyone else. Aside from that traditional style and the Master’s Defender prepared to strike, Xehanort could never mistake those eyes and no amount of hostility could mislead him. There’s no doubt now that Xehanort is far into the future, not while he stares at the aged face of the man Eraqus is to become.

               He looks worn, as if the years have been long and hard and those scars prove nearly as much. That welcoming cheer from their very first meeting has been replaced by sheer apprehension, likely caused by his arduous life. It seems he’s become the soldier his parents always pushed him to be; and yet, surely, he can’t have forgotten his beloved.

               Cautious hands lift to push the hood back and reveal the face hiding beneath.

               Shock takes over the old warrior’s expression. “Xehanort?!”

               “Eraqus.” It’s all Xehanort can come up with in his uncertainty.  

               “How is this possible?!” Resumed suspicion reaffirms that fighting stance.

               First and foremost, Xehanort has a mission, one that could potentially fix everything that went wrong in their lives. They could have everything they lost, including the happiness stripped from them far too soon. Additionally, this is Eraqus, the one who saved Xehanort from self-destruction and gave him the motivation to do all these incredible things. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do to ensure Eraqus’s happiness. However, the stubborn blueblood often disapproved of Xehanort’s methods as of late and perhaps that’s only gotten worse as the years passed—perhaps plans should be kept quite even from one’s most precious. Having been caught here in the future, Young Xehanort must pick carefully which truths to divulge.

               A soft exhale calms the nerves. “I’m from the past,” the traveler confesses. “Brought here by the version of me from this time.”

               “How? What for?” Eraqus demands. “What proof do you have for any of this?”

               “I can’t say how or why but…”

               A well-seasoned Master Eraqus is probably not a fight Xehanort wants to pick, but he’ll need something personal to convince this man of the truth. He knows just the memory, but it’s not pleasant.

               Xehanort’s gaze drops to the floor. “You once caught me on the roof of the citadel. You told me…that if I couldn’t find a reason not to step off, then you would make one.”

               Eraqus’s mouth presses into a thin line; they never told anyone of that incident.

               “So what are you doing here?”

               Shaking off morbid memories, Xehanort replies, “Like I said, I can’t tell you that, but I need to find myself from this time. Is he here?”

               Eraqus wears a heavy pity that agitates Xehanort—he may still be young with much to learn, but he’s never taken kindly to pity.

               “You don’t know anything. You just left, didn’t you…”

               “I left Scala several hours ago,” the youth says. That empathy grows. “Why?”

               “You…Your older self doesn’t come by often.”

               This is unexpected. Even as he left, Xehanort fully intended to visit his significant other once he got things set in motion. Besides, Xehanort is greedy—he knows it. He’s got only the sparsest restraint when it comes to indulging in his partner’s presence, so this statement by the man at the heart of that avarice makes no sense.

               “Why not?” Xehanort is not going to remain calm if that look of condolence continues. “When does he come by?”

               There’s a solemn shake of the old man’s head. “He doesn’t.”

               “What do you mean he doesn’t?!” Xehanort barks, leather creaking with tightened fists. “He has to come visit you! He wouldn’t leave forever—not when you’re the person most important to him!”

               The outburst does nothing against Eraqus’s empathy. “I’m sorry. Once you left, we started to view things differently. There were things we simply couldn’t agree on.”

               “Then why didn’t you stop me?!”

               “Nothing I said would’ve convinced you to stay.”

               “No!” he shouts. “There’s no excuse! You should have stopped me! If me leaving made you so miserable, you shouldn’t have let me go! You should have cried or begged or even beat me over the head—whatever it took to make me stay!”

               Tears form in the man’s eyes and that unwanted compassion pushes Xehanort past his threshold. With renewed determination, he stalks past the elder to resume the search for his future self.

               A strong fist catches around the young man’s wrist. “Where are you going?”

               His answer is short, sharp. “To do what I came here to do.”

               For the third time, Eraqus presses, “And what would that be?”

               Xehanort glowers. With a vague restraint in his voice, he spits, “I’m a time traveler; what do you think I’m doing here?”

               “You can’t do that! There must be consequences to meddling with the timeline!” protests the elder.

               “YOU THINK I DON’T KNOW THAT?!” the young man roars. “YOU THINK THIS IS JUST SOME STROLL IN THE PARK FOR ME?! OF COURSE I’M TRYING TO CHANGE WHAT HAPPENED AND I DON’T GIVE A FUCK WHAT IT COSTS! IT COULD COST MY LIFE AND I WOULDN’T GIVE A DAMN! THEY DESERVED BETTER! YOU—” Fury falters as the words catch in his throat and the edges of his vision blurs. “You deserve better.”

               Guilt resonates on that marred face; this is why Xehanort never told him. Eraqus had said a million times over that what happened wasn’t Xehanort’s fault, but a deep sadness settled in Eraqus’s heart that was clear to the Seeker. For Xehanort, the loss of his friends was already unbearable enough, but to have the love of his life stuffing down his turmoil behind a flighty façade tipped the scales. So now he’s here.

               With a look of defeat, Eraqus pleads, “Don’t do this. Please.”

               “I’m doing this for you.” Again, the older master begins to argue, but the younger has had enough and pulls away. “You couldn’t stop me then, and based on what I’ve seen today, you can’t stop me now. Take care of yourself.”

               With that, Xehanort leaves.

                 It’s been a few hours since the confrontation, but Xehanort still hasn’t found a single clue to the whereabouts of his present self. He’s hopped a few worlds and even double checked those he’d been drawn to in the past, but nothing comes up. Worst of all, something is pulling him back to the Land of Departure. He can’t shake the feeling that, no matter what Eraqus says, Xehanort would return to him eventually. They must still love each other or else he wouldn’t be here.

               His arrival is noiseless and unnoticed, but with each step closer to the castle, he hears the escalating sounds of a battle. Peering around a pillar across from the castle steps, Xehanort sees Eraqus squaring off with a young, brunette man.

               As he watches, Xehanort notices enough between the two to speculate that there’s a clearly straining relationship. Considering the use of darkness by the younger man and Eraqus’s violent abhorrence of it, Xehanort assumes that’s the cause of the clash. The winner would be an easy call if it were a simple fight, but that boost of darkness significantly closes the gap; so it comes as a surprise when the younger warrior rushes past Eraqus, causing him to stumble. It takes every bit of self-control Xehanort has not to act on protective urges as the Master’s Defender falls from its wielder’s hand.

               Terra, as named by Eraqus, is upset with his success. He cries over it, but his master is the one to apologize, admitting that his own heart is full of darkness. That declaration plays in the gray area of Xehanort’s mind. He already knows Eraqus is a good man with his heart bound to the light. What he doesn’t understand is that light, too, can make mistakes—mistakes which may beget darkness. Xehanort has tried explaining this before, but the noble would have none of it.

               A dark figure at the top of the stairs catches Young Xehanort’s eye too late. A blaring ring fills his ears seeing that man aim a familiar weapon. There’s no time to react; he’s too far away to do anything. Before Xehanort’s very eyes, the man he loves, and should have always loved, fades.

               With the reality of what happened beginning to sink in, his eyes focus on the man strolling down the steps. Anger ignites in his heart until he hears Terra question the stranger.

               “Master Xehanort! Why?”

               Master Xehanort—that man, the very person who killed his beloved Eraqus, is Xehanort himself.

               A dark storm swallows the sky, mirroring the wrath churning in the young man’s chest. With nothing but that rage guiding him, he rushes after the assassin into the dark portal. This new land is empty and barren save the mass of foreboding keyblades strewn about, but Xehanort has other concerns right now. Waiting just outside his attack range is the murderer.

               That man’s voice is filled with the gravel of age, but no remorse can be detected. “I wondered when you would arrive.”

               “You killed Eraqus.” Fists tremble at the young man’s sides, that quivering creeping into his chest.

               “I did.” Only a man scorned like Young Xehanort could withstand those chilling yellow eyes.

               Furious, he yells back, “That’s it?! That’s all you have to say?! How could you?! He was the only reason I didn’t throw myself off the citadel! HE’S THE REASON YOU STILL EXIST!”

               “Ah, the foolishness of my youth.” His casual dismissal drives the young Seeker’s heart rate up.  “It’s true he’s the reason I exist today, but Eraqus’s departure was necessary. You know firsthand how loyal his heart is to the light.”

               The response tears from his throat. “AND THAT’S JUSTIFICATION TO MURDER HIM?!”

               “He just didn’t understand that this is all for him, to create the life that he should’ve had. You knew there were consequences to meddling with time.”

               With no comeback, the young adult sneers, but the old master has one last remark that cuts to the quick.

               “As you said: they deserved better—he deserves better.”

               The words spoken just hours ago, shoved back in his face, incite the anguish burning in his heart. Rationality devolves and Young Xehanort charges his future self.

               All his life, Xehanort let his mind dictate his path. Moves were not made without thought to the consequences, but this—this is something beyond even the purpose of this mission and everything in him is screaming for revenge. Grief and anger cloud his judgement and spur attacks too straightforward to connect, however, that sloppiness doesn’t discourage him.

               Old Xehanort swipes, successfully disarming his younger self, and with the same ruthlessness shown to his former love, he eliminates the man from the past.

               Golden eyes meet gold; even as he’s being dragged back into his own time, the young man emanates his fury.

               Unbothered by the turn of events, the victor simply states, “One day, you will understand.”

~~~~~

               The elder watches his past self disappear among the shadows. It’s unfortunate how naïve he was, but this was to be expected—he and Eraqus had been so in love. Xehanort still possesses those feelings, which is why the decision had been so difficult. There’s a hole in his heart but he understands that sometimes things must be broken for them to become better and that’s the sort of thing the Seeker is betting on.

               In lieu of these unfortunate circumstances, he’s going to have to prepare a backup—to persuade his young self into venturing into the future a second time.

               As the thought occurs, darkness flares from the ground, creating a portal from which steps the young man that just tried to smite him. He’s more prepared than he gave himself credit for. He beckons the young man to follow to discuss the details of their plan. Even as they speak, the senior can see a spark in the new master’s eyes. There’s a curiosity that he will no doubt seek answers for.

               “How is Eraqus?”

               He should’ve known.

               Enacting his hard-earned skill of smothering his emotions, the old man answers, “Eraqus is dead.”

               The youth freezes, clearly distraught. “How?”

               A deep breath conveys true sorrow while concealing the lie. “The same as the others.”

               Hard determination grows on the young man’s face. Knowing that look and knowing himself, old Master Xehanort has ensured his ignorant self’s unquestionable devotion to the mission.

~~~~~

               Despair shakes his heart, waking the young man. Opening heavy eyelids, Young Xehanort finds a room illuminated with soft moonlight. Although this is not his room, it’s still familiar. Normally this place would bring him some solace but the discomfort he feels is intense.

               Whatever this is, it’s akin to a nightmare, slipping from his grasp as he tries to remember; it’s confusing and upsetting and damn near painful. Xehanort has had days where getting up for training was hard, he’s been injured so badly he’s been unable to stand, and he’s suffered unending fatigue at the hands of depression; but none of that compares to the sheer heartache of this moment and he doesn’t even understand why.

               Gentle humming draws his gaze lower and he immediately chokes down a whimper. Pressed flush against him is the love of his life, peacefully snoring away. Even with his messy hair and a little drool, he’s absolutely beautiful. No sight could be more stunning and yet, it’s also the most painful. Whatever vice is clenching down on Xehanort’s heart has to do with Eraqus.

               Of course, Xehanort’s always had those fears that maybe he can’t make Eraqus happy or that maybe he’s not good enough—as quoted by the noble’s parents—but even those feel so trivial compared to this dread. It breaks him more than anything ever has.

               His quivering is impossible to stifle and sniffles begin sneaking past his defense. To make matters worse, his sleeping partner stirs.

               “Xehanort?” Such a sweet sound worsens the turmoil. “Xe, what’s wrong?”

               There it is: the first hiccup that destroys the weary dam holding everything in and he breaks down right there.

               Eraqus doesn’t press for an answer but instead holds his sweetheart tightly. With the unknown sorrow flooding his system, Xehanort sobs into his boyfriend’s chest, desperately hoping to get this misery under control before he has to say goodbye to Eraqus in the morning.

[midnight0stars]

ABSOLUTELY! Not going to lie, the moment I saw this ask I was instantly inspired and excited. It’s been so hard to wait until we got to it on the list!

I hope you like how it turned out!!

**Young Master Xehanort x Fem!Reader NSFW w/ Toys**

Words:  1990

——————————————

A whimper escaped between your lips as you bent forward, squeezing your legs together in attempt to lessen the intensity of the vibrator inside of you. Your body trembled, your hand clinging to the stone wall in the garden, where you were trying to sneak away from your team slumbering by the fire.

The three of you were in Thebes, aiding in the recovery, but you weren’t the only ones there. The young Master Xehanort had intercepted you, separated you from the group to give you a gift. You still remembered the way your heart jumped to your throat when you opened it to find a wearable vibrator inside. Xehanort had held up the remote with that damn smirk of his and then he was gone.

You held on to that box for days, going through anger, embarrassment, and the little tinge of curiosity every time you peeked at it. Then after a night of raunchy dreams, that you somewhat suspected was somehow Xehanort’s doing, you couldn’t help yourself and put it in that morning when you were getting ready.

Now there you were, hours later, barely making it through the day as Xehanort, somewhere nearby, even though you never caught sight of him, teased you relentlessly with the remote controller. You would be talking with a teammate about what you had just accomplished, then between your legs you’d start to throb, your muscles spasming from the sudden surge of the vibrator. It took all of your willpower not to moan, or whine, but you couldn’t stop the way your skin warmed. Both your teammates made comments, wondering if you were overworking yourself or needed a rest.

You knew you should have just taken it out, not given Xehanort the pleasure, but that one small part of you wanted to prove that you could handle it. That was, until nightfall came and your team had finally fallen asleep. Then you really had to deal with it.

Hidden a bit deeper in the garden, you leaned against the stone wall. All it took was one more pulse of the vibrator to make your knees buckle and you slid to the ground.You scanned your eyes around the garden under the soft glow of moonlight for any sign of Xehanort, but you couldn’t see a trace of him. Fireflies danced around a glistening fountain and you gazed at them in a futile attempt to distract yourself from the throbbing anticipation in your gut.

Your face burned, every inch of you shivering from a combination of pleasure and the night air. Another whimper slipped out, your eyes sliding shut as the vibrator pulsed faster than it had the entire day. Your heart pounded in your ears, your breaths shallow as your own thoughts couldn’t think outside of what you were feeling.

Ever so slowly, you slid your trembling hands up the sides of your legs. The fact that you were outside in the open was not lost on you, but you had to do something before you burst. Your fingertips ghosted your skin, trailing up your legs to your breasts. A low hum rumbled through your throat as your  thumbs circled your nipples that had been in near pain from being hard all day. You had been surprised neither of the boys on your team noticed them when you had changed out of your armor into loose pajamas for the night. The soft cotton of your shirt, only heightened the sensation with each roll of your thumb, and you had to bite your lip to keep yourself from crying out.

Your hips rocked against the vibrator, pushing it deeper, begging for it to go faster. No matter what you had done throughout the day, it wouldn’t push you over the edge. You had been teetering for hours, but it would cease its vibrations the moment you felt that you might be able to force yourself into a climax.

A hand left your breast, trailing down to between your legs. You didn’t even bother to tease yourself and slid past your pants and undies, your fingers dipping into your soaked folds. A sharp gasp escaped you as your head slung back against the wall. Every little slide of your fingers shot a thrill of shivers through you, but you couldn’t help but want more.

The vibrator stopped, a whine coming from your throat until you heard that familiar low chuckle. Your eyes shot open, seeing Xehanort knelt in front of you, the remote in his hand as he smirked, watching you touch yourself.

“X-Xehanort,” you gasped out his name, the burn on your cheeks only deepening.

“Don’t stop on my account.” He told you, his eyes drifting down your body, making you throb.

That damn cockiness in his voice sparked irritation in your gut and you opened your mouth to tell him to get lost, but were cut off by his lips crashing into yours. His tongue delved into your mouth, causing a deep moan to erupt out of you.

“Don’t stop,” he murmured against your mouth, grabbing your wrist that was under your pants and pushing it down further.

Your breath hitched, your hips jerking forward into your own touch as you did as he said. It was too late to fight back, you were desperate for a release. He hummed with complete satisfaction as he pulled away from the kiss, watching you as you touched and toyed with yourself.

“X-Xeha–” you gasped out his name, shutting your eyes to avoid his golden ones boring into you.

He hummed, his hands going to your knees and spreading your legs apart. You whimpered, your pace quickening from the exhilaration and humiliation of him watching. His body pressed against yours, his lips nipping along your neck as hums and sighs escaped him, mixing with your soft moans.

“I am going to take every last inch of you the moment you come and make you mine.” he purred in your ear, his low voice causing you to whine as it rumbled through you.

“W-Why wait…?” You asked between your shallow breaths, wincing as he chuckled in your ear.

“And ruin my fun?” He asked, biting your ear and making you bite back your own cry of pleasure. “Why would I ever want to do that?”

“B-Bastard,” you stammered, melting into a moan as he switched the vibrator back on.

“Not too loud,” he warned. “Wouldn’t want the others finding you, now would we?”

He licked the crook of your neck before biting down, the jolt of pain mixed with your pleasure and your head shot back, your hips snapping forward. You clamped your hand over your mouth, unable to hold back the moan that erupted from you as Xehanort simply pulled back to watch as you climaxed.

Before you could fully come back to reality, Xehanort was behind you. He pushed you forward, situating behind you against the wall, before pulling you back into his arms. Your head lolled back against his shoulder, your body spasming and tightening as the vibrator continued at full speed. Whimpers and cries poured out of you as your hips rocked forward every few seconds, pleasure already pooling again in your gut.

Warm hands slid under your shirt, roughly running along your skin until they reached your breasts. Xehanort suckled your neck, moaning your name in your ear as he tugged and twisted your nipples between his fingers. Each sound that escaped you made him pull you closer and you could feel his cock hard against your back. Your fingers quickened once again between your legs, until he reached down and grabbed your wrist.

You stopped, opening your eyes as he brought your fingers up to his lips and pushed them into his mouth. His tongue swirled around them, a hum rumbling through him at the taste. You could only watch, your lips parted as you could only imagine his tongue doing that between your legs.

X-Xeha…” You whispered, your voice hoarse and trembling.

His golden eyes opened, meeting with yours. Pulling your fingers out of his mouth, you laced them into his hair and pulled him into your lips. You slid your tongue against his, tasting your sweet pleasure as he nipped at your bottom lip.

Pulling away, you fisted your hand in his hair, ordering, “Take me.”

He growled, crashing his lips back against yours as his hands hooked in your pants and tugged them down. You cried into his mouth as the vibrator was finally slipped out of you, replaced with his fingers plunging inside in its stead.

“Fuck, Xeha,” you breathed out against his lips, your back arching as he pushed his fingers in and out of your slicked entrance with ease.

Your mind was spinning, completely lost in him as his tongue danced against yours, his hands toying with your most sensitive parts. A whine slipped out as he removed his fingers from inside you. He fumbled with his pants’ buckle, but you barely noticed, your chest heaving as you leaned back into him, until he grabbed your hips and hoisted you up. You gasped, melting into a long moan when he slid his length inside of you.

His hand wrapped around your mouth, his other hand digging into your hip as he delved in and out of you. Quiet grunts and huffs of breath were all that escaped him as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. His hot breaths, seeped through you and you could have sworn your entire body was alight.

You could feel every inch of him pounding in and out of you. The sound of your bodies slicking together almost seemed to resonate around you. He was all you could fathom, all you wanted, and you couldn’t help but whimper when he kissed your neck between his soft moans of your name on his lips.

His hand slid off your mouth, down to your breast. You sighed, slinging your head back as he tugged, twisted and kneaded your nipple, the sensation pushing you towards the edge.

“You belong to me, Y/N…” He purred in your ear, just as his hips jerked forward, hissing as the dam broke.

“Ah, Xeha!” You moaned out his name, much louder than you should have as every inch of you burst with pleasure. His hand wound around your mouth, muffling your cries as he rode you back to reality.

His hips rocked languidly against you as you fell limp against him, his arms still holding you up. Both of your breaths were heavy, your chests rising and falling as you basked in the afterglow of your climax. Xehanort’s forehead rested against your shoulder, his arms wound around your waist.

“I… can’t believe I just did that…” You murmured, feeling Xehanort’s low chuckle against your skin.

He kissed your shoulder, humming. “Next time I will make sure to take you somewhere more secluded. So I can hear your voice as you moan out my name.” He groaned at the thought, suckling your skin and rolling his hips, despite not having anything left.

You whimpered softly, before remarking, “Who said there will be a next time?”

He snickered, “Won’t there?” When you didn’t reply, he hummed. “You are mine after all. There will always be a next time.”

His words sent shivers through you. Part of you wanted to deny him, but being there in his arms, after what you had just done, there was no way you could. Instead, you simply scoffed, grabbing his wrists so you could get up, but he didn’t move.

“Just a little longer.” He whispered, his voice softer than usual.

A soft smile tugged the corner of your lips as you leaned back into him, your smile growing as his arms tightened. “Alright.” You slipped your eyes shut, focusing on his warmth and touch for the fleeting remaining time you had to enjoy it. “Just a little longer.”

————————————-

[atomic-taco-muffin]

The Legend of Hana Chapter 81

Warnings: *weirdest fucking dance you’ve ever seen* Angst

Rating: SFW

Axel opened his eyes in the laboratory of Radiant Garden, a room with computers in the back of what was once an office. He wasn’t sure what was going on. He’d saved Sora and his friends, but what about after that? Axel sat up slowly, his head groggy.

“Roxas?” he asked. He wasn’t there, but Axel could see himself reflected in the glass of the lab. “That’s me...” 

He spotted a few others collapsed in the same room. The ones in white lab coats were Even and Ienzo, and then there was Dilan and Aeleus still in their former uniforms. Aeleus was starting to get to his feet with a groan. Axel checked his reflection again and looked for his iconic upside down tears. But they were gone. 

“We're people again,” he said. Oddly enough, he found the fact easy to accept. All four of the men behind had joined the Organization here. Xehanort didn’t count, so there were only two missing: Braig and one other. 

“Isa?” Axel--now Lea--softly said the name of his old friend. 

“What the devil...?” Aeleus asked, the first to wake up as he was holding his head.

“Beats me,” Lea replied with a smile as Ienzo also unsteadily got to his feet. 

“What...happened...?” Ienzo asked.

“If you don’t know, then I don’t know either,” Lea answered in his usual teasing manner. Ienzo frowned, clearly unsatisfied. He wouldn’t have known about the events following his visit to Castle Oblivion as a member of the Organization. Explaining it would be a pain--although if he retained his memories of the Castle, things might get more complicated.

“I’m gonna go look for the others. I’ll leave things to you,” Lea said. He left the other four and walked to the room Ansem the Wise had once used for his office, but the wall was decorated with a portrait of Xehanort. It was littered with books, just as he remembered from when he’d snuck in here before. No one else was there. He stepped into the hallway and found a skateboard, covered with dust and seemingly abandoned. 

“Don’t go leavin’ this here,” he muttered, then gave the board a small kick as he thought of its owner before walking off. He kept walking until the side entrance was up ahead. He could feel a faint breeze from outside and stopped.

“Sheesh, what a mess...” he said as he scratched his head. He needed time to think things over and made his way back to the laboratory. 

                                                         ☽✧☽✧

“Where are they? I’ve turned this castle upside down.” Aeleus he put books back in their former places on the shelves of the lab. Lea hd to wonder if that was really necessary right now, but maybe it was just a soothing task for him at the moment. Ienzo was also organizing the desk. He seemed to be searching for something, but Lea couldn’t really tell. 

“Hey, are the other two out cold?” Lea asked. 

“Dilan and Even are conscious again but still unstable. They’re resting inside,” Aeleus responded as he reshelved books. 

“Gotcha. Well, I guess I’ll give the castle grounds a sweep.” Lea made to retrace his steps, but Aeleus stopped him. 

“Don’t. If they were back, we would have found them by now,” he said. Lea sighed and scratched his head again. 

“So do ya think they were blasted off to some other world or what?” he asked. 

“I highly doubt it. When someone has lost their heart is recompleted, they should return to the place where it happened. And if that world is unavailable for whatever reason, a refuge is made for them in the realm between--a world called Traverse Town. They would be sent there,” Ienzo said from in front of the desk. As he explained, Lea walked the interior of the lab and looked up the likeness of Xehanort. “Or perhaps--”

“No, look, okay.” Lea interrupted before Ienzo could elaborate. “The fact is--we’re here. We’ve been recompleted, right? So they should be here, too, plain and simple.” 

“I agree, it is strange,” Ienzo affirmed in a strained voice. What could their absence possibly mean?

“What a drag,” Lea sighed, then turned to Ienzo and offered the only answer he’d found. “Could they have not been recompleted at all?”

It wasn’t completely beyond the realm of possibility; in fact, it actually made the most sense. Even in Ienzo did explain further, they’d still arrive at the same answer. 

“Well, you see--” Ienzo started.

“Ah! Forget it,” Lea interrupted Ienzo before he could say any more, then, after another look of the portrait, he shifted his attention to some scribbled notes on the wall. Secrets of the worlds, secrets of the soul, and secrets of Kingdom Hearts, along with some faded words that had to be a password. 

Door to Darkness.

“You know what? I’ll bring ‘em back myself,” he said. 

“Huh? How exactly?” Ienzo exclaimed, which prompted Aeleus to slowly stand up, too.

“Why do I always get stuck with the icky jobs?” Lea complained, although he didn’t sound particularly upset by the idea and slowly made his way out of the room. 

                                                          ☽✧☽✧

In the middle of Towa City, laid a tall tower. Towa Tower. 

Walking down the halls was one of the Remnants of Despair and Junko’s favorite, Izuru Kamukura. He was tall, with long and messy black hair, and wore a suit. He kept wondering how he got into this mess and wondered if he would ever get out of it. Knowing Junko, it would probably be impossible. She was one of the most dangerous Spirits known ever. He dug into his pocket and pulled out a clip that had belonged to his girlfriend, Chiaki Nanami. He could still remember when Junko killed her. It broke his heart when it happened and made him fall into Junko’s despair. But not anymore. He heard the alarm, signalling that someone had broke in and looked at the cameras. 

Meanwhile, Luna and Monomi had entered Towa Tower and looked around. It looked a lot like a business building and not like an actual tower. How were they supposed to find Mukuro in here? As they were looking around, Luna spotted a man standing in front of her and Monomi. 

“Who the hell are you?” Luna asked as she summoned her shadows. 

“Relax. I’m not here to fight. I’m here to help,” the man replied. Luna relaxed and dispelled her shadows. 

“You didn’t answer my question,” she said.

“My name is Izuru Kamukura. And I’m here to help you.” 

To be continued...

[paybackraid]

Someone’s First Snow

Summary: It snows in the Land of Departure for the first time in a long time and, well, Vanitas has never seen snow before.

Genfic, post KH3, following Vanitas’ inevitable redemption (I promise).

Ambiguous POV.  AO3

--------

“Fuck,” Ventus chanted, rubbing his forearms as he shook his way toward the kitchen. The castle was freezing, he could feel it in his toes. It was rarely toasty, but it only ever got cold, when…

One glance out of the window confirmed it. Snow. 

Ventus hated snow. He wasn’t a cold weather person. He could handle fifty degrees at minimum, and even that was pushing it. When it was cold enough to snow, then it was just too fucking cold. 

“When the fuck did this happen?”

“Ventus,” Aqua scolded from her place at the table, hand curled around a mug of coffee. “Language.”

“It’s below freezing, I’ll say what I want.”

Terra snorted from the kitchen counter where he steeped a cup of tea. “Amen to that. This fluffy white bullshit negates all manners. Hope no one important was coming.”

Aqua laughed and shook her head. “No, not today. Thankfully. I have to go out and see if I can salvage my garden. This came out of nowhere.”

Terra turned to lean against the counter, nursing his mug in one hand and holding out another to Ventus. Yet another sat on the mug warmer, but it would probably be there for a while. 

Ventus extended his hand for his mug and melted into the warmth in his hands. It was too hot to drink yet, but this felt too nice anyway. 

“So,” he said after a long moment of just existing in something warm, “what’s the plan for today then?”

“Lessons are off,” Aqua immediately said. 

“Shoveling,” Terra said with a grimace Ventus could hear. Terra hated shoveling—apparently it messed with his back. Ventus should probably consider helping him.

“You should continue your studies, if you have any bookwork left.”

Ventus grimaced himself, but nodded. He hated bookwork, but Aqua was the Master around here. He didn’t ask about Kairi, assuming Aqua had already told her not to come. “I’ll help shovel, and the—“

Before he could get out his sentence, there was a commotion from the stairwell that instantly had all three of them on edge. Ventus took three steps back to peer out of the kitchen toward the front door, which now stood wide open letting in the cold. That had been closed when he passed it. 

Two more steps and much wider vision outside confirmed it. A black mass stood outside in the front yard, surrounded by twirling blue emotions. 

What was Vanitas doing up already…?

“What was that?” Aqua asked, coming around to see. Vanitas normally stayed up late and awoke late, favoring the dark. So it was no wonder if she wasn’t expecting him already. Nevermind that he was normally significantly quieter…

“Uh… I guess Vanitas is up.”

Aqua and Terra split a look, but Ventus was too busy watching his other half. Vanitas had been living with them for almost two years now, studying alongside him and Kairi to be a Master. He had mellowed out significantly since being released from Master Xehanort’s control, finding comfort in sullen silences and snarky one liners. He acted aloof most of the time—sometimes he’d show some positive emotion, and he spent enough time with Ventus that he knew what his laugh and amusement and smile was like, but little else.

And this?

This was none of that. 

Starkly black against the white falling snow, Vanitas stood out like a sore thumb. His head was pitched to the sky, and when Ventus got closer, he saw his mouth hanging open. He looked entirely astounded. By what? The snow?

“Whatcha doin’, Van?” Terra asked when he squeezed past Ventus, leaning against the door frame. 

“Snow,” Vanitas said. 

Aqua hummed and stopped just in front of Terra, leaning back against him. “Yeah. We don’t see it often, so this was a surprise. Came out of nowhere.”

“Snow.”

“I see.”

Apparently realizing that he looked like an idiot, Vanitas closed his mouth and dropped his head to the white stuff at his feet. Aqua had gotten him a nice pair of slippers for his last birthday, which were covering his feet then. “I, uh…” he said, scratching at the place that used to be covered by the chin and headguard, in his hair. “Once we were split, I lived in a desert my whole life, and I don’t remember seeing any before that either. Closest I ever got to—“ he put out his hand to catch falling snowflakes, watching them melt in his palm. “Snow, was a Blizzard spell. But now it’s just happening. ‘S like magic.”

“Distinctly not magic.”

Vanitas shot all three of them a soured look. “You know what I mean.”

Terra and Aqua laughed. Ventus stepped inside to slip into his boots and follow his other half. Annoying as it was, there was nothing quite like someone experiencing their first snow. He stopped several feet away from him, knowing Vanitas would get up to shenanigans as soon as he realized what snowy options were available. 

Vanitas took a step away, not the recoil it used to be so much as taking back his space. However, his roly poly Unversed, the two Blue Sea Salts having a good old fashioned time in their element, did not expect the movement. One had apparently been having the time of its life, and rolled under his feet in just the wrong moment. 

Vanitas tripped and landed in a small snowdrift, his back immediately going rigid and hands flying out of the snow. “C-cold!” 

The other three all laughed again, and since Ventus was closer, he neared and extended his hand. The darker boy took his hand and was hauled to his feet, but the shivering didn’t stop. The Blue Sea Salt at his feet crooned, looking ready for death, but Vanitas’ annoyance with the creatures had drained years ago, and he merely tapped his ankle against it as some sort of reprimand, and left it at that. 

“Hey, Van,” Terra called from his place by the door. “Wanna know what the best thing about snow is?”

Vanitas turned to him, eyes huge with wonder at the clearly far wiser and much more knowledgeable Master. He shoved his hands into his fluffy pajama pockets to try to warm them.

“Terr—“

Ventus glanced over too late. A snowball pelted him in the face and knocked him off his feet, and instantly Vanitas and Terra were bent double, wheezing with laughter at his misfortune. To Ventus’ mortification, he even heard Aqua’s familiar breathy laughter shortly after scolding Terra. 

Helpfully, Vanitas came over and offered his hand, and he didn’t even shove Ventus face-first back into the snow after he helped him up. Instead, the dark-haired teen leaned over and whispered conspiratorially into his ear. 

Ventus’ face split into an ear-to-ear grin. He gathered snow and packed it together, handed it to his other half, and watched him vanish. 

Seconds later, Vanitas appeared above Terra’s head. Rather than smashing it onto his head, though, Vanitas yanked the back of Terra’s shirt from his neck, and shoved the entire mound of snow down it. Terra yelped and danced away, and Vanitas dodge-rolled away from flailing, frantic limbs.

When even Aqua burst into laughter right away, citing Ventus’ attack as “well-deserved retaliation”, it was war. 

Ventus and Vanitas arguably teamed up, packing snowballs and hiding behind heavy bushes, although they spent as much time pelting each other as they did Aqua and Terra. Terra hid behind the banister, collecting his snowballs, and Aqua used her magic to build up a fort of her own. 

Aqua won. Naturally. Or at least, she came out of it covered in less snow than the other three. Ventus surrendered to her warp magic pelting him with snowballs on all sides, all while Vanitas valiantly declared, “you’ll have to kill me, I’ll never give in!” Typical Vanitas. A drift of snow had fallen off the roof and coated poor Terra halfway through the game, which gave him more ammo but also set the cold in that much faster. He had been first to fold. 

Then, the shivers and sniffles set in, and they decided as a collective to head in. Aqua was pretty sure she saw Vanitas dunk Ventus’ head in snow one more time before running in, but she didn’t comment. They were having fun, and she’d never seen Vanitas have so much fun and act so carefree. 

Terra, bless his soul, dumped out all of their chilled mugs of coffee and tea and started on hot chocolate. Aqua went to set a fire in the fireplace, and sent the boys running off to find wool socks and blankets. 

“Well,” Terra asked once they were all bundled in. Ventus was sat between he and Aqua, cradling his mug, while Vanitas was wrapped up in no less than three blankets, chin propped on the coffee table. “How was your first snow? Hate it yet?”

Vanitas turned his face to the side and considered it, squashed against the table. He flexed stiff fingers and toes, then looked out the window. The snow was still falling. “Fun. I think.”

“Great. Then you’re going to love the part where we have to shovel out all of the walking paths and the gummi pad. It’s a thrill.”

Ventus groaned, having totally forgotten about the work that came with it. Vanitas groaned in solidarity and flopped back against the couch. 

“Great. Can’t wait.”

[aliceslantern]

Heartlines, a Kingdom Harts fanfic, chapter 28--Epilogue

Twelve years ago, Xemnas betrayed the royal court of Radiant Garden to his father, Xehanort. Prince Ienzo flees to another city and begins university in the aftermath, hoping the anonymity will protect him from eager eyes with ill intent. The darkness spilling across the country, as well as an individual from his past, cut short Ienzo's new beginning and bring new conflicts to light. Strained between the desires of his magic and his heart, Ienzo's choice will change him forever.

Modern Fantasy AU, Soulmates, Zemyx. Updates Fridays until it's done.

Chapter summary:  Time passes. The kingdom recovers. A prophecy comes full circle.

Read it on FF.net/on AO3

---

Life was a work in progress. There were periods of unrest in the kingdom which were not always easy to smooth over with words, but Ansem did not want to use force. “Remember, Ienzo, a riot is the language of the unheard.”

Flowers began to bloom in Radiant Garden again. There was still signs of destruction everywhere--rubble, smashed out windows, destroyed buildings. But piece by piece, it was getting put together. The resistance based itself in the capital city and started what it called a “restoration committee,” not just to restore the city, but the whole kingdom.

Demyx spent a lot of time at the beach with Amalia, now that they both had their forms. Ienzo wondered if it would be salt in wounds to go to Destiny Islands at some point. He would ask when he felt ready.

Something else was growing too.

When he felt the nausea, the fatigue and dizziness, and the achiness, Ienzo did not delude himself into denial as he did the last time. He looked at himself in the bathroom mirror, good and hard. He held his hand in front of his stomach and reached out, tentatively. Something was there, a potential for a new life. But he did not feel the overwhelmed sense of panic he had when he was first pregnant with Amalia. He was still young, ridiculously so, but would this be so terrible?

He sought Even, who was busy puttering around the labs. There was light in his eyes again, joy, at having something productive to do. In fact, he did not seem bothered by Ienzo’s interruption. “No bureaucratic nonsense today?”

“My father insisted I take the morning off.”

“Your daughter?”

��Out swimming. I swear, sometimes I have difficulty getting the two of them to come home.”

“...It is good, to see Demyx happy again. I was… concerned.”

“Were you? You could barely stand each other in the beginning.”

Even rolled his eyes and pulled off his goggles. “Adversity draws people together,” he said. “I wonder often… if I have hardened my heart too much. I am trying… to let people back in.”

“And how is that going?”

He considered. “It is going,” he said. “But better than being stalled. Good to be… active. And to see you some semblance of safe at last.”

Ienzo came a bit closer. He was working on one of the replicas, a faceless white mannequin half covered with a sheet. “Does it feel good to see your work come to fruition?”

“It is bittersweet--putting it mildly.” He sighed. “If not for… that creature’s breakthroughs, this would not be possible.”

“It is still your creation.” Ienzo paused. “Even, have you met Xion?”

He fussed with tubes of mystery fluid. “Who?”

“Xion, Xemnas’s… ward. I shall have to introduce you.”

His eyes snapped up. “Why?”

“Because she is one of the replicas.”

“Of whom?”

“Of nobody. Herself.”

Even grasped his shoulders. “And you only tell me this now, boy?”

“Please be gentle with me, Even.”

He seemed to be reeling. “...Why?”

“I find myself to be in an indelicate condition. As it were.”

He turned red. “ Again ? Child, you know what causes that, right?”

Ienzo chuckled. “Would it be so terrible, to get the childrearing over with while my father is still able to help me rule?”

Even pressed a hand to his forehead and sputtered wordlessly. After a moment, he composed himself and held a hand over Ienzo’s stomach. “...Quite. I do not know whether to laugh… or cry…”

“Go seek Xion. She’s a guard on the upper floors. I know that’s where your heart is.”

He was already taking his coat off, grabbing a tablet computer. “Yes… right… we can discuss this later…” And he was out the door.

Ienzo returned to their rooms. To his surprise, Demyx and Amalia were back. “Done for the day already?”

Demyx gestured out the window. “It’s gonna storm. Plus I figured I owe you some lunch.” He leaned forward to kiss him, and Ienzo could taste the salt.

“Ra!” Amalia said.

“Right, rain.” Ienzo crouched down and smoothed the wet hair from her face.

“I’m gonna get cleaned up. What do you feel like? There’s this new place that’s opened back up not far out of the gates--”

Ienzo followed him into the bathroom. Demyx laughed a little.

“Look, I’d be so down, but like, she’s right in the other room--”

“I’m pregnant.” He didn’t know why the words had to leave him now, without ceremony.

Demyx just blinked. “Really?”

“Yes. Really.”

“Oh…” A small smile. “Oh… Do you want to--”

“I… want them.” He swallowed. “Get it over with while we’re young, right? While my father is still helping me? I can’t imagine going through this while being fully responsible for everything else.”

Demyx hugged him. “Round two?”

“...It seems so. I mean, to be fair, we were not the least bit careful, and it has been happening quite a lot lately--”

He kissed his forehead. “They’re going to be great.”

---

As it stormed later that night… Ienzo lay awake. He’d been even more of an insomniac during pregnancy, and he hadn’t much missed that. But he could not sleep. Demyx, who could basically sleep at will, had one arm draped over his stomach.

A particularly loud peal of thunder made Demyx stir, and from the other room Ienzo heard Amalia shriek and start to cry. Demyx’s eyes fluttered open. “It’s okay,” Ienzo told him. “I’ve got this. Go back to sleep.”

The drawing room had been turned into a nursery more fully now, the soft light of the mobile reflecting the rain in the room. Amalia was still crying. Ienzo leaned over the crib and hefted her into his arms. He settled in the old rocking chair. “It’s just a storm, sweetheart,” he said.

“Bad,” she said. “Bad, bad.”

“I know. It scared you.” He rocked gently. “I’m here. I’ll keep you safe. How about a story?”

Ienzo told her a story he’d learned from Demyx, about a rainbow fish that gradually gave up its scales to help others. He let his power cast a quiet illusion along the walls, of a deep blue sea, of that same fish swimming seemingly in midair. Somewhere in this, she fell back asleep, and rather than put her back in her crib, Ienzo remained there, thinking.

She hadn’t mentioned a sibling in the Forecast. Her words had been “we live with dad and grandpa in the castle”. If he gave birth on schedule, that child would be her age by the time of the Forecast.

But at the same time, toddlers were selfish. It could’ve just slipped her mind. Perhaps she was closer to Even or Ansem than her own sibling. Ienzo took a deep breath. Part of pregnancy was being illogically anxious.

It would be fine.

---

Perhaps it was for this reason, but Ienzo kept news of this child from Ansem. A few weeks passed, tremulously. He kept at work, meeting officials, sitting in committee meetings, deciding, deciding. Helping organize a parliamentary election.

After one such meeting, he was gathering his papers to return to his study when he felt a cramp, hard. He gasped aloud. “Are you alright, your highness?” Lydia asked. She was back to her post as librarian, and she’d brought him some books.

He blinked. “I’m… fine,” he said woodenly. Cramping during the first few months was normal, wasn’t it? Might be worth getting himself examined anyway. “It is nothing.”

“...Alright. Well, pardon me for overstepping, but perhaps you might rest. It’s been a long day.”

He swallowed, trying to choke down the dread. “I shall. Thank you.”

He made his way back not towards his rooms, but towards Even. The pain stuck him hard under the heart, and he had to duck into a bathroom before he lost composure. He wasn’t sure what whisper of an instinct told him so, but he pulled down his pants and checked his underwear.

Blood. A not-insignificant amount. He stuffed one of the small folded hand towels between his legs--mentally apologizing to the launderers--and hazily kept going. He almost stumbled getting the lab door open. “Even,” he said, and perhaps it was his tone, but the man immediately looked up.

“Ienzo, what--”

“Something isn’t right. With the baby.”

He grabbed him immediately and herded him over to one of the replicas’ exam tables. “And yet you drag yourself all the way down here instead of going to the infirmary.”

“I wasn’t--I didn’t want--”

He touched his face. “I know, love. Wait--are you--”

The blood must’ve seeped through the hand towel. “Fuck,” Ienzo murmured. He felt the coldness of Even’s magic assessing him.

He turned pale. “Ienzo, I’m sorry. There’s nothing I can do.”

“But is it--”

“There’s no heartbeat, and you’ve lost quite a bit of blood. There’s no… life.”

Another cramp overtook him. “They weren’t in the Forecast--I tried to convince myself it was not so--”

“I know. I know, love. We should get you to the infirmary--”

“Please, no.” He felt more wetness between his legs.

“You’re losing too much blood to justify receiving care from only me.”

How awkward, and humiliating. Even carried him like a child. Hazily, he was changed, cleaned, given something to absorb the blood, fluids, painkillers. He let himself ride this quasi-consciousness, until a hand took his. “Zo?”

“Demyx? I--I’m sorry…” He swallowed, feeling a lump in his throat. “I lost it…” His hair obscured things from view.

“The important thing is you’re okay.”

“She didn’t mention them, I should’ve known--”

Demyx drew him close and held him for a long time.

---

It took him a while to recover from the miscarriage. Not so much physically--he was back to “normal” within several days--but emotionally he felt scrambled, exhausted. He did not know it was possible to love something so small so much.

Ansem insisted he take time off. Demyx waited on him hand and foot, but he was shaken too. Ienzo slept too much, could barely look at Amalia. He was taking a bath, his mind positively going nowhere, eyes unfocused on the ceiling tiles, when he heard small footsteps. “Da-dee?”

Wearily, he looked over. “What is it, love?”

She was holding her favorite stuffed animal, a unicorn she’d named Pinky. She offered it to him.

“Thank you, but I don’t want Pinky to get wet.” He set the toy on the chair by the tub.

She leaned over the lip of the tub. “Hurt?” she said.

“I’m just tired, love.”

“Hurt,” she asserted.

Ienzo sighed. “Yes, I’m sad. You know it’s okay to be sad sometimes, right?”

She nodded. “Help?”

He kissed her. “You already are.”

---

Perhaps because it was through this particular lens of sadness, but suddenly it seemed strange that he, governed so by emotions, be the one responsible for the welfare of this country. He, whose sole “mandate to rule” was his power. Why was it that, despite humanity’s long and colorful history in this country, there had never been strides made towards democracy, or anything other than absolute power?

There had been abdications, in the past. Ienzo found himself reading about them voraciously. There had been some good reasons for such actions--fundamental disagreements about faith and the way the country should be governed, a lack of acceptance of sexuality or gender, the heir apparent believing they were not competent enough--and some not so. Considering the convoluted transfer of power, from firstborn to firstborn only , it was amazing the monarchy had not collapsed under its weight or lost its power somewhere in the past. Should the firstborn, say, die in a tragic accident, or from an aneurysm prior to having an heir, that power was simply lost for a generation. And should that first child be sufficiently… along , enough in utero, and something were to happen to them, that counted.

Ienzo needed to talk to Ansem. “Father?”

He took off his glasses. “What is it?”

“Can I talk to you?”

He offered a smile. “Of course. How are you feeling, dear heart?”

He sighed and sat down. “This has all been very… overwhelming.”

“I’m sure. Loss of a child… even one that is not yet living… is very heavy stuff indeed.”

“I’ve been thinking a lot about… mortality. Human weakness. Limitations of the body.” He found himself looking at his knees. “The fragility of my… power. How does it make me qualified to rule? The child I lost… could very well have been Amalia, some months along the line. Suddenly that power is gone.” He touched his abdomen. “Father, this whole monarchy… is starting to feel very…”

“Pointless?” He rubbed his brows. “I agree entirely. But the last thing people need right now is a radical change in government. We’re only just settling. Imagine what might happen if we suddenly propose some other form of rule?”

“...I know.”

“Once this is all over… I’m wondering if we should…”

“...Abdicate?” He cocked his head slightly.

Ienzo took a breath. “Am I a traitor for even thinking it?”

“Oh, Ienzo. No. Not at all. Class division is part of how we got into this mess in the first place. That you seek to abolish it shows your love for your people. Perhaps it might be worth it to consider the schema as to how this will be put in place.”

Ienzo let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. “Truthfully?”

“Truly.”

“...Thank you.”

---

Time passed.

Amalia was growing so quickly . She started to speak more clearly, in longer sentences. She started to show more magic. Once, Ienzo walked into her room and saw books hanging in the air all around them. “Look,” she said. “They’s flying.”

Demyx expressed his own desire to do work of some kind. “People need art,” he told Ienzo. “They’re going to need a way to deal with all that pain.” Together, they jumpstarted a national art program. To finally be active, to finally be helping people in a meaningful way… Ienzo felt… fulfilled.

This was all going to take work, probably constantly. But that there might be a day where they could have a simple, happy life with their family gave him pleasure.

Perhaps he shouldn’t have been surprised, but one spring day Amalia asked if they could go on a picnic. The day was sunny, the flowers were in bloom. He was sitting on a blanket on a patch of grass in the plaza. He worked the teardrop-shaped pendant absently with one hand. He knew that at some point they'd have to formally get married as long as he was in the public eye. But for now... this was enough.

“Daddy, look!” She opened her hands, revealing a small magic flower. “I made it!”

“Oh, sweetie, it’s beautiful.” The deja vu struck him with insistence.

She smiled widely, and reached to be picked up, so he did. “Can we go to the garden?”

“Of course.” Demyx was supposed to meet them there after his lesson in the city. He took the picnic blanket and set off.

“Do you think this is real?”

“What do you mean, love?”

“This. Right now.”

“What makes you say that?”

“I dunno… a ‘motion I had.”

“A feeling?” Ienzo offered. Then, “I had a dream when I was pregnant with you.”

“When I was in your tummy?”

“That’s right. And you sent me a memory, of this moment, right now.”

“What I say?”

“You told me about our friends. The ones who met you when you were a baby.”

She laughed. “Isa and mister Xemnas.”

“Yes. You told me everything I needed to know. It’s because of you this is all like this, you know?”

“I know,” she said, unimpressed. “Where’s daddy?”

“He’s on his way.”

They passed through the castle gates to the gardens, which were lush and full again. Aerith was tending to the flowers; she waved. “Hi flower lady,” Amalia called loudly.

“Hey yourself,” she said back.

Ienzo set down the blanket on a patch of clean glass.

“There’s my favorite girl.” Demyx set down the sitar. He scooped her up and gave her a kiss. “Did she give you much trouble?”

“Not today. Not yet. Did you get the i-c-e c-r-e-a-m?”

“Ice cream!” Amalia shouted.

“Zo, she’s too smart for that.” Demyx laughed. “Sold out, I’m afraid.”

Ienzo sighed. He’d been looking forward to it all day.

“But I did get these from someone at the lesson.” He handed Ienzo a bag with a pastry box inside. “Egg tarts. Several people told me they are to die for.” He sat down with their daughter.

Ienzo took them out and handed one to Amalia. “...Do you know,” he began. “Today’s the day.”

Demyx frowned. “What day?”

“It all came full circle. The Forecast. On the way over here.”

“Oh… wow. Really?”

He smiled. “And the future is again aqueous.”

“Like that’s a bad thing? Look, if we knew every minute, we’d always be trying to plan things. We wouldn’t get to decide.” He brushed a crumb from their daughter’s mouth. “Because of her… and you… we do now. I’m okay with that.”

“I… am too.” He swallowed.

“It’ll be us against the world.” His eyes were so soft.

“I know that.” He chuckled. “It’s terrifying, to have the choice. I think I’d like to finish university first.”

“School, school,” Amalia said eagerly. “Me and daddy go to school.” She was going to go to nursery school in the fall.

“Daddy’s going to school for big kids,” Demyx said to her. “You’re going with kids your age. Little.”

“Not little.” She huffed, then brightened. “School and make lots of friends!”

“She’s like you all right,” Ienzo said.

“Dunno. She’s too smart for her own good--like you.”

“I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up,” Ienzo admitted.

“I wanna be a cat doctor. Or a rockstar. Or maybe…” Amalia stuck out her tongue in thought. “Wanna be an explorer .”

“You already are, silly.” Demyx tickled her, and she squealed.

“I do still want to help people. Maybe psychology, or…” He trailed off. “To be determined.”

“Well, you’ve got time.” Demyx picked up one of the egg tarts and all but crammed it into Ienzo’s mouth.

He scowled, but then, “These are good.”

“Right?”

---

The sun was setting. Ienzo watched it from his alcove in the library. This was his favorite spot, its light, its smell of varnished wood and old books. But he wasn’t reading.

“...It is lovely, isn’t it?”

Ienzo looked up and saw Even, for once without his lab coat, his long hair pulled back into a ponytail. “Where were you?”

“I was… with your father. I’m afraid he made me take a walk in the garden.”

Ienzo felt his lips twitch into a smile. “Well, was it a nice walk?”

He wondered if he was imagining the blush. “It is good to get fresh air,” he said evasively. He leaned against the desk next to Ienzo. “So I hear you’re to… abdicate.”

“In several years, once things settle, but… yes. And Demyx will abdicate on Amalia’s behalf. No more royalty. Whatever we have left will simply be ceremonial, if that.”

Even chuckled gently. “All the time I spent defending the monarchy, and you’re giving it up. You are making me gray, child.” But he said this pleasantly. “Yes… change is not so bad. The world needed it. We needed it. We could not… run forever.”

“Do you feel good, to no longer be running?”

“I do,” he admitted. “I felt such a coward for so many years. To get my hands dirty is a relief.”

“I have to thank you, for all you’ve done for me. I took you for granted.”

Even reached over and brushed the hair out of his face. “Well raising you certainly wasn’t easy.”

He laughed a little.

“In all seriousness, Ienzo, I didn’t do it entirely out of duty. I loved you--and I still love you--as if you were my own. Bonds don’t change, the… lines between hearts.”

“Heartlines?” He raised his eyebrow. “My father must be rubbing off on you. You were never so philosophical.”

“I am trying to open my heart.” He put a hand to his chest. “And it is painful, but I feel I am… growing. Never thought I would have to at my age.”

“And what of things with Xion?”

“She is a lovely girl. She’ll do well once she starts school. We’re trying to spend time together. In a way… she is my child.” A sigh. “Though this research… what right have I to create new life?”

“You saved many who would be the seeker of darkness’s victims.”

“...A cold comfort.” He tapped his fingertips together. “Come, then. That husband of yours is attempting to cook.”

Ienzo felt a shimmer at “husband”, but was it not true? Ceremony or no ceremony. “He’s a good cook, Even, you just have an unenlightened palette.” He stood and together they began to walk.

“...I’ll just chalk it up to cultural differences. I suppose… all of this could’ve been much worse, yes?”

“It could’ve.” He paused. “Will we… once I leave this place, Even, will we still be part of one another’s lives?”

He seemed perturbed. “Of course, Ienzo. Always.” He squeezed his hand. “Don’t fear change the way I did.”

“I won’t.” He swallowed, feeling an unexpected rush of emotion. “I promise, I won’t.”

[jackidy]

If You Let Me: Chapter 2

Rating: T Pairings: Demyx/Zexion, Demyx/Ienzo (Eventual/Slowburn) Characters: Various, Zexion/Ienzo Centric Setting: BBS to KH3, Canon compliant mostly

Warnings: Canon Character Death (Temporary)

Summary: “It’s almost a shame really, that you probably won’t survive this.” Only he did. Spending the prelude to adulthood as a nobody, a supposed empty husk of a being was never an option any of them considered, least of all a newly named Zexion who would be living every last one of them.

Note: A wee bit later than expected but that’s what happens when you procrastinate making maps for the DND campaign you run for about 2 weeks and remember your session is on saturday haha. Points if you can name the disney films i reference in this chapter.

Chapter one | Next Chapter

---

Year 2

Meetings are boring but by no means lacking interest, Zexion using this time to study the others from his low seat as they talked over their collective mission and any new world of interest. He’d read those outline reports later, after another lesson with Vexen on magic or even another round of watching Axel and Saix spar with any of the older members, mostly Xaldin, to become more attuned to their weapons.

His had yet to appear, a sign Vexen took to strengthen his magical abilities, Zexion wondering if this was in part down to him still holding a semblance of care towards him in the same vein as Even had. Nobody had ever mentioned it, at least not before him, but Zexion can’t help but wonder if he’d be ultimately replaced, the question of his age not coming into play when compared to his peers.

Everyone has something they’re good at, it’s what his fa- Ansem had always said, Zexion more than aware that his laid in observations. He was quiet, too many times had neither Axel or Saix had noticed him following them when they were all still whole, an unneeded bribe to buy his secrecy over them having snuck in once more. Ienzo had never done it for the ice cream, not fully, he’d also done it for the opportunity to discover something.

Even now, he’s still curious as to why they were always lurking around Xehanort’s underground lab.

Zexion turns as Xemnas addresses Axel, observing the way the red head tenses under his scrutinous gaze. “The world is called Prydain. It appears to already be mostly swallowed in darkness,” A waver in his voice betrays his nerves before its gone, the usual self-assured persona coming back as if the blip had never happened.

He’s getting better at lying then, Zexion notes, swinging his feet ever so slightly as he listened to the recount of the last world VIII had visited. “Dark, depressing, talk of a horned king and a black cauldron. I couldn’t really gather much information on the world.”

“And why is that?” It’s the same voice, the same mocking tone from that night, like their leader had a joke that no soul else was privy to, humoured by the failure of a mission as if he’d set up Axel to fail. Is Xemnas testing their resolve? Their dedication to the cause? He mostly reserved this antagonising for the red head, as if the rest of them had somehow already been assessed.

Zexion hates it.

“Might I suggest something?” The youngster begins, swallowing back the sudden nerves with an edged annoyance, remembering every etiquette lesson he’d sat through with both Ansem and Even. He didn’t usually speak in meetings, in fact he hadn’t done before, releasing a calming breath before continuing as he attempted to ignore the 7 sets of eyes seemingly boring holes into him. “Would it not be easier to gather information if we blended in more? I’ve only seen Radiant Garden but I don’t believe most worlds dress this way.”

The silence that follows is somehow deafening, Zexion mentally repeating his inner mantra of ‘don’t back down, don’t back down’ as the silence only seemed to grow louder, a familiar static in his ears. Blue meets orange, an elongated pause before Xemnas lets out some semblance of a chuckle, eyes flicking to the higher seats to Zexion’s left. “In that case, see that he’s mission ready. You have six months.”

The meeting continues on as it had before, a feeling of dread curling in Zexion’s stomach as he thinks over the outcome of his outburst. He’s not ready for missions, his grasp of magic is decent but he can’t even summon his own weapon yet. He’s got six months to not only figure it out but also learn to use it to defend himself. The appreciative warmth of Axel’s occasional glance does little to temper the queasiness and the ice of Vexen’s glare. 

 ----

“You didn’t have to do that, you know.” He knew it was Axel before the other even spoke, ash and wood smoke, not as much underlying darkness as the others. It was odd, for sure, but not something Zexion paid much heed to as it made a welcome change. He’d taken to the grey area for once, the last place anyone would expect him to dwell, making avoiding Vexen’s wrath over his outburst all the more easier. It had been 3 hours since the meeting drew to a closer, after all.

“I know.” I just don’t like his voice when he talks like that, he adds on mentally, shifting over ever so slightly as the red head sat down beside him, eyes still focused on the reconnaissance report in his hands. Zootropolis. Nobody was…human? Maybe he shouldn’t have opened his mouth after all, frowning as he put the file aside and focused on the next one, this time thankful to see something at least humanoid.

Yet another world where long black coats would stand out too much, Zexion isn’t surprised but still feels the blow of it.

“Is that a rhino in…capris?” Axel’s voice makes Zexion look up, the redhead frowning with pure bemusement at the file Zexion had just put to the side, thumbing through images of various animals both in clothing and doing typically human things, a low whisper of “what the fuck” accompanying the sound of shuffled photographs and pages.

It isn’t as distracting he initially thought, having Axel sat beside him, easy enough to pretend the other wasn’t there as he studied the reports, the occasional sound of Axel reacting to the file or it hitting the table serving as only a minor disturbance. He’ll practise later, when he’s alone, in the privacy of his own room where prying eyes couldn’t see him.

Lexaeus’ warning over keeping the full extent his abilities a secret had gradually extended to the rest of them, despite his now ever pressing anxiety he would be replaced at the drop of a hat. Why had he spoken up? It had only made it worse, now with an added deadline of when it would happen. He should apologise, he should do something to make Xemnas not-

He’s tapped on the nose, an assault of smoke in his senses, Zexion not even bothering to tone down his glare at Axel who, to his credit, didn’t even flinch under it.  “Now that I’ve finally got your attention, I’ll ask again. Do you want to practise?” Practise? Practise what? Zexion frowns at him, trying to convey his confusion over just what the other was trying to ask him only for Axel to sigh and mutter something under his breath.

“Look, you’re like five-“

“I’m ten.”

“You’re five, Xemnas may literally be heartless but even he’s not gonna send you out on your own.” Zexion bites back the anxiety laced retort of ‘he might’, Axel leaning in conspiratorially and the child can’t help but also lean in, expecting Axel to whisper his next words.  “So, do you wanna practise changing the appearance of someone else too?”

“I’ll just practise on Vexen when we next have a lesson.”

“Vexen has seen less missions than even you have.”

He hates that Axel has a point, inhaling through his nose sharply, face twisting with annoyance as he thought over the opportunity. Practise magic and his abilities with someone who isn’t Vexen, come under potentially less scrutiny as expectations were undoubtedly lower, maybe even have a positive response that wasn’t laced with concern and the need for secrecy.

“Fine!”

If Axel is bothered by his tone, it doesn’t show, the older Nobody looking more amused than anything, over exaggerating a bow before his gangly arms gestured to the two piles of reports on the table, one clearly taller than the other. “Pick your poison, Zex.”

He doesn’t bother correcting Axel on the use of the nickname, sending him a withering look before snatching the top three reports of the closest and tallest tower, thankful these were all humanoid in appearance, stretching before turning to face Axel, already mentally hearing one of his elders scold him for having a foot on the seat. A little rebellion made life more interesting, at least that’s what Braig used to say before the accident.

Prydain. Dwarf Woodlands. Kokaua.

The first two are somewhat similar, reminding Zexion of the fairy tales his mother used to read to him, mostly simple garments in muted colours, forests and woodlands twisted into monsters. The images were mostly scenery, Zexion frowning at the lack of reference before pausing on one image of Dwarf Woodlands. A small creature, more of a blurred shadow than anything, partially hidden behind a tree at the edge of the titular woods. “What’s that?”

Axel leans over, a little too close into Zexions’ personal bubble for comfort, glancing at where the child was pointing before shrugging and leaning back after making a non-committal noise. “Probably a heartless, those little shadow ones get everywhere.” But it didn’t look like one, he wants to argue, pursing his lips but electing to not pursue it further.

He hadn’t seen many, Zexion will be the first to admit, a subject he had yet to fully research so maybe Axel was right, that it was just another heartless. If he was ever sent to the Dwarf Woodlands maybe he could even look for it himself, should it still be there.

Filing away that thought for later he turns to the last file, Kokaua, taking a moment to get over the sheer difference between the first two worlds and this one. Not so much a fairy tale but a paradise, bright and vibrant colour in place of the dull muted ones, warmth seemingly radiating from the images both in terms of heat and something more emotional and familial.

He wants to go, part of him wondering if Kairi had ended up somewhere like this. It would only be fitting, she’d always thrived in the warmth and sun, like a blooming flower stretching for the light, still made him wonder what she had ever seen in him as a friend. Closing the file, he puts it back on the pile, mentally weighing up the options between Prydain and Dwarf Woodlands before also placing the latter back, handing Prydain to Axel.

“Oh for…why Prydain?”

Zexion hasn’t schooled himself enough to hide all the amusement from his features, a teasing lilt to his voice as he responds all too matter of factly, as if the answer was obvious. “You’ve been there, you’ve seen the people.” The frustration the flashes on Axels face like fire, all too animated as he attempts to summon an argument in his favour only to ultimately fail each and every time. “You can’t find an argument, can you?”

“Shut up.” He hisses, the prompt for him to get on with changing his appearance going unvoiced but Zexion still hears it loud and clear, picturing what he wanted to appear. Using his abilities had gotten easier with time, becoming less tiring the more he performed feats but this would be the first time he’d used them like this on another, usually the subject of them being himself.

Taking a breath, he allows black coats to transform, replaced with shirts, tunics and leggings, black boots dying themselves brown. Its near perfect, the odd shimmer revealing the illusion for what it was as his brain seemed to become fuzzy around the edges. He drops the illusion at this point, frustrated at his own limitations, wanting to voice his frustrations only to be jolted as a hand came crashing down on his head, ruffling his hair a little too aggressively for Zexion’s liking.

“That went better than I thought it would, wanna go again?”

He does, Zexion waiting for the fuzz to clear before starting the process again, a new found level of giddiness in his chest over the praise.

 --------

Vexen finds him. It takes two days but he finally corners him in the kitchen, seemingly having no qualms with addressing his thoughts about Zexion’s outburst towards Xemnas in front of Lexaeus like he did with everyone else. He was a fool to reject the option of practising the illusions with Axel again, Zexion thinks, doing his best to seek an escape route without relying on a dark corridor or an overly elaborate illusion.

“Sit down, we need to talk.” There’s no room for argument in his tone, Zexion reluctantly sliding into the seat opposite Vexen, staring not at the man but at the space just beside his head. It’s always been like this, when it came to discipline. Vexen would sit opposite him and Zexion would avoid fully looking at him. “I’m not mad with you-“

“Yes, you are.” Zexion can’t help himself, taking the momentary distraction to confirm that, yes, Vexen had closed the door behind him, ultimately cutting off that escape route. Time to be creative then, he was an illusionist after all, waiting for Vexen to put his head in his hands before acting. Checking to make sure Lexaeus isn’t looking, he duplicates himself, allowing his body to disappear as his copy sits where he previously did.

“I’m disappointed and concerned.” Vexen finished, speaking through gritted teeth, an obvious sign that if he wasn’t mad before he was at least annoyed now. “Your want to defend that buffoon is admirable but, no matter how eloquently you put it, undermining the leader to his face is foolish.”

His copy remains sat at the table, schooling the clones face to look guilty as he bit his tongue to avoid spilling the remark of ‘so I should do it behind his back?’. No point in angering the elder further, no doubt he’d been stewing on this since the meeting and Zexion still isn’t one hundred percent sure if that is ultimately going to work in his favour or not.

Sliding up onto the counter, away from where Lexaeus is working, Zexion tenses as his feet hit against eh cupboard door, the rattling seemingly deafening in noise as time seemed to slow. He’d given himself away, the youngster about to reveal himself and apologise when Lexaeus interrupted, the gentle giant knocking his knee against another door. “Apologies, Vexen, I was lost in a thought.”

Speaking to Vexen but looking at him, knowingly, turning back to the book he was thumbing through on the counter barely moments later. He’d been caught by one but not the other, caught but not exposed, a positive thing Zexion hoped. “You may have befriended both VII and VIII but I feel it would be more appropriate that you limited your contact with them. They both, especially VIII, have had a negative effect on you and how you approach things.”

“Would it not be beneficial to talk with people around my own age?” Zexion replies, wincing over the stretch to call either Axel or Saix close to his age, the red head the closest to him in age at a full 7 years his senior. Vexen it appears, is just as aware of this as him, grimacing himself at the knowledge that Zexion was not only correct but truly stuck without peers his own age.

“I suppose. But you must learn to keep your feelings in check, child. We are supposed to not have them after all and more outbursts at Xemnas like that may have less favourable outcomes in future.” Vexen stands after this, reaching out to touch the clone before moving his hand back, sighing deeply. “I just want you to be careful.”

“I will be, I’m sorry.” He’s sorry for concerning Vexen more than he is for his words to Xemnas, relaxing as Vexen accepts this apology and dismisses himself, his clone dissolving with the close of the kitchen door. The silence is somehow still comfortable as the illusion over himself melts away, Lexaeus paying him no mind nor heed at seeing the small Nobody once again.

“Almost perfect.” Is all he says, gesturing to Zexion’s feet with a small smile, before beckoning Zexion over, tapping on the pages of his book. Sliding off the counter, the child hurries over, perhaps a little too excitedly, stepping up onto the foot stool set up for him before Vexen’s arrival in order to make his lessons with Lexaeus easier. “Today’s lesson may be rough on your nose so let me know if it gets too much.”

“What are we learning today?” He’d taken up cooking with Lexaeus a couple of months ago, finding the smell of a dish so perfectly cooked wasn’t so much an attack on the senses as a blessing, something that cleared the overload of darkness that seemed to cling to everything around him. The lessons were infrequent but never unwelcome, always seeming to be therapeutic when compared to his others, like they weren’t lessons to begin with so much as something the pair of them could do together that didn’t centre entirely on the fact they were no longer human.

“Cooking Base.”

 -----

He’s thankful that Xaldin starts off combat training easy, a focus on footwork above all else, closely followed by how to avoid a direct hit when there’s no access to a weapon. So, all the time for him if things didn’t change anytime soon, already a month into training with still no sign of it every appearing. Disguising others and expanding his energy to cast thundara or blizzara he could do, the latter spell bringing nothing but endless pride to Vexen, but his magic was still limited and battling whilst disguised is not something he wishes to think about without a weapon of his own.

It’s too exhausting, his energy already seeping out of him like a bleeding wound every single time he used disguise or magic, the feeling of being a burden having already bloomed within him regardless of who would be his partner for his first mission. Presuming he’d be granted that mercy, nobody still able to confirm if their speculation on Xemnas’ character was correct or not.

“You ready for today, kid?” There’s a promise of something in Xaldin’s voice, Zexion hesitating before nodding, simultaneously curious and somewhat fearful for what the other had planned for him. No threat had been directed at him, that much was true, but he’d bared witness to some of the more rigorous lessons he’d put Axel and Saix through more than once.

The part of him praying for history related mercy, as Xaldin summons not dusks but his spears, Zexion wondering if there’s been a mistake up until one pierces the floor beside him, the child swallowing as the spear dislodges, floating back to its master who seemed a little too thrilled with the prospect of potentially spearing him.

Laziness. He’d comment on the laziness of Axel and Saix when they’d make a mistake, make a snide comment about how Vexen never attended missions, of how he wasn’t pulling his weight. Xaldin wasn’t Dilan, they were nothing alike and Zexion would have to remember that. Dilan wouldn’t hurt him. Dilan would follow him and Kairi around the gardens after the strange creatures showed up to make sure they weren’t hurt. Xaldin, he believes, would not only hurt him but perhaps enjoy it.

“All you need to do is touch me. Consider that a warning shot.”

A warning shot?! Another thick swallow before Xaldin fires once more, no warning or misfire this time, Zexion fully aware that he’d be impaled if he failed to move fast enough, the fresh cut in his right sleeve testament to that. Checking for blood, he turns just in time to avoid another cut, this time to his cheek, breathing a little panicked as he watched the spears return yet again to Xaldin, swaying slightly like snakes waiting to strike.

Don’t panic. Don’t panic. He repeats the mantra as Xaldin attacks once more, summoning a wall of ice, a jolt going through him with each sound of the spears connecting with the spell. He wouldn’t have much time, even with a distraction, quickly calculating how many he’d need in order to reach his teacher, taking a slow breath in and then out.

Duplication was the easiest option, the one he was most confident in, copying himself not only once but twice stopping only there as the ice wall began to shatter. Sending both distractions forward, he follows shortly after cloaking himself as he had in the kitchen, remembering what Lexaeus had said and committing it to memory. Almost perfect and he’d need better than that to best Xaldin.

Dilan had ears sharper than glass, often wouldn’t have to look up or turn to call Ienzo out on his attempts to venture out side the castle grounds alone, he could only assume Xaldin would be the same. Zexion doesn’t make it far before his suspicions are confirmed, narrowly avoiding the spear that flew past at speed, the damage it would have caused had it connected not something that child wished to think about.

“Illusions only work if you’re quiet, VI.”

Reduced to a number, Xaldin truly was both frustrated with him and enjoying himself, not bothering to turn as both his clones were impaled and faded, leaving Zexion alone with naught but the spear a hairs breadth away for company. “Let’s try again, shall we?”

If the opportunity ever arose, he’d travel back to inform his past self that lessons with Vexen, as over critical and frustrating as they were, were a joy compared to those with Xaldin, gritting his teeth as a blast of wind pushes him back further than his previous starting position and the training resumes.

 ------

If Xigbar was trying to not be noticed, he was doing a poor job of it, Zexion electing to wait for the another to announce his presence in his usual cocksure fashion as opposed to enquire as to if he wanted something. Better to either ignore the man, and hope he left, or just let him run his course on lingering in the illusionist’s space, until he decided to do whatever it was he had come to do.

Though what Xigbar wanted in Vexen’s lab when the latter wasn’t present escaped Zexion, no matter how long he thought on it.

His chair tilts back ever so slightly as Xigbar leans on it, Zexion inwardly wishing the other had only come in looking for Vexen or to view whatever oddities the other was curating, not bothering to hide his groan of annoyance. Gun smoke and supernovas, it’s an assault on the senses, grimacing as Xigbar leaned down and even closer, like he was fully aware it bothered the young Nobody and, at this point, Zexion was more than aware it was deliberate.

“No need to be so sour, Zexion, I only want to learn something.” Doubtful, Zexion thinks, giving up on the book of spells to stare at the wall opposite, still hoping that ignoring Xigbar would make him leave. It doesn’t, it never does, it’s a fool’s hope and, yet, he still decides to pray for it as if the worlds would somehow have mercy on him. “Something only your observant little head would notice.”

He’s trying to butter him up, sweet talk him into getting what he wants, knowing full well that the child loved praise and taking advantage of it. “Thank you but I have my doubts I’ll have noticed what you want.” Quicker this is over and done with, the quicker he can be left alone. The library had become out of bounds for the most part, far too many times he’d run into both Axel and Saix talking in hushed whispers that would always stop when they noticed Zexion there.

“I wouldn’t be so sure. You practically live in the library. You must have run into moon boy and cinders in there.” Zexion pauses at the names before it clicks, the arm on the back of the chair unbalancing it a little more, Xigbar now leaning down far enough he could whisper directly into Zexions ear. “Just curious as to what they’re doing.”

“They talk and Axel spends the entire time looking at Saix like he’s never seen the sun before.” Zexion replies smoothly, not an entire lie but not a full truth either. The pair talk, this much was true, but the redhead reserved the looks usually for when Saix wasn’t looking at him never when talking to him. If Xigbar isn’t happy with the answer, he doesn’t let on, nodding solemnly as if this is what he wanted to hear.

Something Zexion doubts.

“But what do they talk about?”

Zexion simply fixes him with a look at this, slightly pained and uncomfortable, hoping Xigbar got the message, thankful when he did and stood back up. He mutters something to himself that sounds vaguely like ‘did not see that coming’, almost as if he’d been hoping and expecting to have heard something more fitting with his perceived expectations. “Can I help you with anything else or are you satisfied?”

“Satisfied, for now.” There’s something to that smile that makes him uneasy, Xigbar disappearing through a dark corridor with a wink, or so Zexion thinks, leaving behind the nervous yet bemused child. What in kingdom hearts was that ‘for now’ supposed to mean and, better yet, does he even want to find out?

Its during a break from combat training that he feels the pull again, a strange tightness in his gut as he healed the fresh cuts on his cheek, left leg and side. Xaldin had temporarily benched him due to distraction, shockingly close to caring if not for the fact he’d impaled Zexion to the floor through his coat. Another repair job for Lexaeus, Zexion feeling a tinge of guilt over it.

If he was better at avoiding things, then he wouldn’t be sat casting cure on himself, wouldn’t be stuck on the side lines watching Saix and Lexaeus spar. Perhaps wouldn’t have that tug slowly seep from his stomach to his chest, having appeared the week before and had persisted on making Zexion once again aware of its presence whenever he used magic.

Was he finally get used to casting magic? Maybe not, Zexion biting his lower lip as he thought, steadily becoming lost in them. Growing accustomed to magic was less of a pull but more of a relief, becoming less drained with the use of his abilities thus granting him the ability to experiment more. It had never acted like a magnetic attraction to something he wasn’t sure of yet.

“Shit! KID!”

The yell cuts through his thoughts, looking up not at he sparring two before him but the pair to the side, a spear heading straight for him. His mind is blank, frozen in place like his body, short circuiting as he fails to think of what to do, simply throwing his arms up to protect his face and vitals from being pierced. Only it never hits, the pull in his gut replaced by a different sensation entirely, a connection that feels familiar yet he knows he’s never experienced it before, as the new found silence in the room is shattered by the sound of a spear clattering against the floor by his feet.

Opening his eyes slowly, he carefully lowers his arms, still nervous another spear would be making a beeline for him only to find a book, thick and old, floating in the air before him only to suddenly drop, a thud and a clatter as it the spear and sent it rolling away.

A book. His weapon was a book? His comrades had gained weapons such as swords, lances and claymores and he had gained a book. It’s funny, he thinks bitterly, remembering Ansem’s old words of how knowledge was the most powerful weapon at your disposal and here he was, armed with a tome bursting with pages of lord only knows what.

Its lighter than it looks, Zexion letting out an inquisitive hum as he leafed through the pages, ignoring the voice in the back of his head that losing focus on his surroundings here would be a bad idea. It’s a story and, yet, it isn’t, seeing moments of his own memories printed on pages but also excerpts of Xaldin and Axel, diagrams of their weapons and a basic outline of how they fought with them.  Almost like the book had somehow downloaded all the information it could when the spear had made contact with it.

What else was stored within? How else could he fill the pages? Questions are running a mile and minute in his head as he’s tapped on the shoulder, Saix not speaking, only nodding towards the door to leave, the teenager letting out the barest of winces when Xaldin’s voice grows in volume. Bellowing at Axel over how protecting yourself should not come at the cost of injuring the other in your party.

 ------ 

His first meeting in a while, Zexion having missed the past few due to over working himself or, after a gruelling session with Xaldin, being a little too injured to remain awake enough to attend. Nobody had reprimanded him for it, no snide comment in the grey room from one of his superiors when they found him alone, pouring over the files on worlds he might visit one day. But he still felt on edge, like something was about to happen that he’d be unable to stop even if he tried.

“How has progression with VI been coming along?” Xemnas may be looking at him but he knows the question is directed at the others, Zexion clenching his fists and grimacing. Did he have to be present for this? Of course he did, the Superior’s need to exert his dominance over them all through humiliation was well known now, especially to the youngest two members. If Saix faced the same, it wasn’t done openly and in front of the rest of the Organization.

“His magic is advancing well, a jack of all trades you could say. He’s progressing wonderfully.” Praise from Vexen, not entirely unexpected but still surprising to hear in such a public arena, he must truly be proud of himself for it. Was he bitter? Perhaps, just a little, wishing the blonde could compliment him without boosting his own ego at the same time.

“He’s lacking in physical qualities but he’ll manage. I would advise a companion or two for his first missions as, whilst his weapon has manifested, I doubt he’ll be successful.” A vote of confidence from Xaldin but he’s relieved to say the least, Xaldin had the second highest seat, second only to Xemnas, surely their superior would listen to something he had to say and at least take it into consideration.

Xemnas is quiet, nothing too unusual from the man but it still strikes a spark of uncertainty in Zexion. “Very well, we will continue as planned. Wait for me after the meeting, VI, I have something I wish to discuss.” This was it. He was going to be replaced, Xemnas was going to tell him his fate once his sermon on the power of Kingdom Hearts was over. He was going to be turned into a dusk.

Maybe this was to do with him lying to Xigbar? Had Xigbar figured out his twisted truth and reported him to Xemnas? The anxiety is eating him alive, doubts over the statement they weren’t supposed to feel emotions stronger than ever, the impulse to run and hide becoming harder and harder to ignore the longer Xemnas made him wait outside the Round Room.

“Walk with me.” Is all Xemnas says upon finally appearing, hands clasped behind his back as he strode, Zexion having to jog in order to keep up. “Tell me of your weapon, what have you discovered?” Should he be honest? Xemnas finally slowing his pace when Zexion remained silent, waiting for Zexion to catch up before continuing the walk at more leisurely pace.

“It contains a story made of both my memories and those it comes into contact with.” Zexion replies carefully, watching as Xemnas stiffened, looking back to him with such honest curiosity that the illusionist doubted he had the same man before him. Not, mocking, no sense of an inflated ego, just a lost man who looked a mix of hope and curiosity.

This wasn’t Xemnas. This wasn’t Xehanort. This was someone else.

“Interesting.” Xemnas replies carefully, his usual demeanour seeming to slip back in as a dark corridor opened up before the pair, Zexion looking between his superior and the corridor with confusion. “Search your memories for a girl with blue hair, you’re dismissed.” He leaves with that, stepping through the corridor that closes behind him, leaving Zexion alone in the naughts approach.  

[mastrechef]

More Kingdom Hearts stuff just because I feel like it.

“I feel like I should know, that there should still be a connection that I could trace. But there’s nothing there.” Roxas growled and ruffled his hair in frustration. “Dammit, there has to be more I can do besides sit here and feel fucking useless.”

Sitting next to him, Ventus hummed in agreement. “I understand how you feel. I was with him for more than a decade. Sometimes I feel like I know him better than I know myself. Yet when I reach out to find his light...I can’t sense anything.”

For a while after that, the two sat in silence, watching the sunset from the top of Twilight Town’s clock tower. Things had been awkward between them at first, what with being near identical at first glance. There were differences, but they were subtle: the shape of the jaw, the placement of the cheekbones, and Roxas’ eyes were a lighter sapphire to Ven’s royal blue. They probably said no more than three words to each other before returning to their own respective worlds. That changed after Kairi returned and Sora did not, and Ven began to seek out Roxas and Xion as the other two who had once resided in Sora’s heart. All three shared a unique pain at the loss of the boy who had gifted them with a second chance at life; the same boy whom none of them had truly had a chance to speak with.

“You two aren’t still brooding, are you?” The silence was broken by the arrival of Xion, three bars of ice cream in hand.

After a quiet thanks for the ice cream, Roxas smirked at Xion. “Nah, that’s strictly my job. Ven’s not the type to brood.”

“Well what type am I then?”

“You’re the sunshine and rainbows kinda guy. Nothing gets you down for long.”

“That’s not even remotely true,” protested Ven.

“No, I see what Roxas is getting at. If you’re upset about something, you seek out other people to talk to rather than hiding away and isolating yourself.” Xion turned to Ven with a sad smile. “That’s why you came to us in the first place, right?”

The playful atmosphere evaporated and turned pensive. Nothing about their situation was particularly normal, their bond even more so. Before all this, Xion and Roxas had at least been friends, with Ven as the outlier. Yet somehow, the trio fit together like long lost siblings. Now all that was needed was to return their missing brother.

“He’s out there somewhere, I know it. We’ll find him.” Her determination blazed as bright as the sun. Both boys could do nothing less than put all their faith in Xion’s words. So long as there was hope, they wouldn’t give up on the boy who saved them all.

...

There was something strange in the ease with which Yozora found him. Hiding from him was about as easy as trying to hide from a bloodhound. Despite hiding in the upper branches of a haphazardly chosen tree or losing himself amid the maze of clothing racks in some random department store, sure enough, Yozora was there. It was maddening. The only upside to this situation was that Sora felt no need to sleep, so at least he didn’t have to deal with being startled awake only to see Yozora looming over him. Getting knocked out by the guy on a regular basis was bad enough.

Of course there were also the nightmares that had plagued him since the botched Mark of Mastery exam. For a while he’d even been afraid to go to sleep, terrified that Xehanort would be there waiting and trap him again. He had pushed his concerns to the side in favor of more important things. There had been a lot to do to prepare for the final battle and no time to dwell on personal demons.

Being in this realm only allowed him to further ignore those particular demons.

Time passed strangely in this place. It could be hours or days between his meetings with Yozora, but it was impossible to tell for sure, and not just because it was perpetually nighttime. Anytime Sora lost focus or zoned out, he had this sense that time somehow sped up. Yet, whenever he returned to consciousness after a round with Yozora he felt as though no time at all had passed. Was this how Aqua felt stuck in the Realm of Darkness all those years?

There was nothing to do but think and wait for Yozora. He found himself pondering about the other boy’s words. What did he mean by ‘I was told to save Sora’ and what was he supposed to be saving Sora from? It couldn’t be from whatever this place was, since it seemed Yozora was the one ensuring he stayed stuck here. From death? Sora’s already saved himself from that fate once, even if the circumstances were different.

Sora was startled out of his musings by a familiar voice. “Aren’t you looking pathetic.”

He lurched in alarm, flailing his arms as he tried to keep himself from tipping over the edge of the roof he was perched on. He regained his balance and twisted around to see an unexpected figure. “Wha—Vanitas?”

“Did all your ‘friends’ ditch you?” Despite the harsh words, the usual arrogance and anger were absent and instead he just seemed...resigned. All the same, Sora would be on his guard; it was too soon to tell what Vanitas planned to do.

Sora shook his head vehemently. “My friends wouldn’t do that,” he insisted. None of them were the type to do that. (He carefully didn’t think about that brief time he had lost the keyblade in Hollow Bastion. And Riku leaving him behind when he gave in to the darkness didn’t count.) He eyed Vanitas in confusion. “What are you doing here?”

The question got him a bitter laugh. “Did you think I had gone for good? You can’t destroy darkness. It will always be there so long as there is darkness in people’s hearts.”

“I get that.” And he truly did. For all that he fought the darkness, he had come to understand that light could not exist without dark. They were counterpoints meant to balance each other. Just like there was no way to be happy all the time, to eliminate all negative emotions, but those happy moments were made all the more precious by the presence of the downs—so too must light and dark exist in equal measure. Besides, he was no stranger to the reality of the saying ‘bright lights cast deep shadows.’ (Distorted flashes of clawstearrendhungerRAGE came to mind.) “But what I meant was how are you here? This place...it’s...” He trailed off, not really sure what to say. This strange city was a complete unknown, seemingly unconnected to any other world that Sora had visited, except perhaps the Final World; but even so it wasn’t clear how he got from there to here.

“I told you before, didn’t I? I’m your shadow, so of course I’d be drawn to where you are.”

“That doesn’t make any sense. If you were able to find me, shouldn’t the others be able to as well?” There was certainly no shortage of people connected to Sora’s heart, although all his attempts to trace the connection back to them resulted in failure. But if Vanitas could reach him, then maybe it was only his end that was having trouble. Who knew how these things worked when you were technically supposed to be dead.

“If they can’t find you, that’s their problem. Hasn’t got shit to do with me,” he replied, face twisting in a sneer. Apparently fed up with their all too brief interaction, Vanitas started walking away.

“Wait! Vanitas!” A dark corridor appeared and he was gone. Sora slumped back. He wondered if Vanitas was able to leave this place, if he himself was the only one stuck here struggling to escape. He flopped onto his back with a groan. Back to waiting in boredom it was. Funnily enough, he actually wished heartless would show up here; that would at least give him something to do.

Some time later his question was answered in such a way that he almost had a heart attack. Evidently, his concerns about waking up to see Yozora looming over him were the least of his concerns, because waking up to see Vanitas looming over him was much more alarming. Eyes blown wide and heart fluttering like a caged bird, Sora scrambled back to put a little distance between them.

Vanitas only continued to frown at him, brows pinched together.

“You’re still here?” Sora asked after getting himself into some semblance of control.

“I should be asking you that.”

“I can’t leave yet.” Something instinctive told him that leaving wouldn’t be possible until he managed to beat Yozora. So soon after his latest loss, it wasn’t something he cared to think about. Might as well make the most of the other boy’s presence. “Can I ask you something?” A noncommittal grunt was his answer. “Why'd you want to join with Ventus so bad? You and he are two separate people now.”

The look Vanitas gave him openly conveyed his low opinion of Sora’s intelligence. Rude, thought Sora. “I’m nothing more than Ventus’ negative emotions that were pulled out of him. I was never meant to exist to begin with.”

“Yeah, well, neither were nobodies, but that doesn’t make Roxas any less real. He’s not just a part of me—he’s his own person with his own heart. And I don’t believe that you’re nothing but darkness and negativity. Even the deepest darkness has a light that never goes out.”

Vanitas scoffed. “You expect me to listen to your light-side bullshit?”

��I’m not just light, you know,” he snapped, suddenly irritated. “I’ve got my own darkness, same as everybody else. I fought on the light side, yes, but I was just doing what I thought was right. Light and dark...they’re not the same as good and evil—things aren’t so clear cut. Riku’s proof of that. Xehanort was wrong to do what he did, so I stopped him. Simple as that.”

An unreadable look overtook Vanitas’ face. Without a word, he disappeared again.

[minijenn]

Keys to the Kingdom Preview

Ah fuck forgot my new normal is showing off previews to both Keys and UF now so here’s a short lil blurb from the beginning of this chapter that involves Angst and our fav boyo dealing with the inevitable PTSD that comes with being tortured or whatever idk this chapter already be vibing fucking weird. I would have shown off some of the Disney stuff but I’m in the middle of a lot of introductory stuff and Atlantis has like 20 million fucking characters I gotta introduce so yeah. Enjoy this for now: 

***

After nearly a month of relative downtime, venturing out into an entirely new world was something of a strange, yet welcome change of pace for Sora, Donald, and Goofy alike. Or rather, a return to their usual pace, one that all three of them knew would take some getting used to. Still, they had each largely agreed to proceed slowly and carefully when it came to this first venture, or at least that’s what Donald and Goofy had miraculously convinced Sora to do. 

Yet even as the trio began to make their way through the wide, earthen caverns they found themselves in upon arriving to this new world, Donald and Goofy could tell that much of the bravado and excitement Sora had shown on the way there had suddenly diminished. Because instead of leading the way as he usually would have done, instead he trailed behind his companions, gripping his arms in something of a loose hug as he glanced around the dark caves apprehensively. The captain and the magician exchanged a worried look after they both spared a brief glance back at Sora, their shared concern for him quite palpable even now. After all, even if he’d mostly recovered physically from what Maleficent had done to him, that didn’t necessarily mean he’d fully healed in every other regard yet. Even if he liked to act as though he had. 

“Gee, I wonder where we’ll find a Key around here…” Goofy wondered aloud, trying to strike up a casual chat. 

“Who knows?” Donald replied, using a flame spell cast above his scepter to light their way through the lengthy cavern. “What do you think, Sora? You are the one who brought us here, after all.”

“Hm?” Sora flinched as he suddenly tuned in to the conversation, leaving his myriad of much more pressing thoughts by the wayside, at least for now. “Oh, uh, yeah… Well, there definitely is a Key here, but as usual, I… don’t really know where it is or how to get it…”

“I’m sure we’ll figure it out, just like we have a bunch of times already,” Goofy said with an encouraging grin. 

“Besides,” Donald added. “If your Keys Instinct is picking up on a Key here, then at least that means the Organization hasn’t gotten their hands on it yet.”

“Gawrsh, Donald, I thought you didn’t like us callin’ it the Keys Instinct,” Goofy noted, chuckling. 

“Eh, it’s growing on me.”

“They may not have this world’s Key,” Sora interjected, his tone completely lacking the levity of his companions’ as he gripped his arms tighter. “But I’m sure they have a whole stash of other Keys by now. After all, they’ve had plenty of time to get them thanks to me…”

“Sora, how many times do we have to tell you?” Donald huffed fervently. “What happened to you wasn’t your fault!”

“And neither is whatever the Organization might have done while you were down and out!” Goofy soundly agreed. 

As if on instinct, Sora wanted to immediately argue against both of those claims. Because ultimately, he was the one who had bargained his own freedom away instead of finding another solution. He was the one who had fallen for an obvious trap in trying to escape instead of seeing it coming and outwitting it like he should have. He was the one who had succumbed to the poison, the pain, the darkness that had strangled him, suffocated him, overwhelmed him completely instead of having the strength to fight back and resist it. And perhaps worst of all, he was the one who had wasted an entire month on largely idle recovery instead of getting back to searching for the very Keys that could spell the difference between light prevailing or darkness enshrouding all. 

And if that was indeed what ended up happening, if the Organization did end up claiming the rest of the Keys and Xehanort had his way, then Sora knew there would be no one to blame for such a horrific turn of events other than himself. That was a plain and simple fact he’d known for a long time now, essentially from the moment their search for the Keys had first begun, an obvious constant, an unspoken truth that was always hanging right over his head. A truth that nobody else seemed to accept other than him, not even the pair that was tirelessly searching for those Keys alongside him. “Y-yeah… I know...” he finally conceded, avoiding their worried gaze as he realized arguing for that truth would only be a waste of time they didn’t really have on their side anymore. 

[darkvolley]

I finished ReMind and started the Limit Cut episode but tbh fuck the databosses. I am weak babey noob gaymer and I've never beat a secret/extra boss in a KH game in my life and that's not about to change anytime soon. So whatever plot stuff may be past the bosses I'll just look up in a bit.

But anyway! Uh, to sum up my thoughts on ReMind, please have this not well put together list!

[[MORE]]

-The cutscenes look so much better than the ones for the base game and it finally looks like Square figured out how to make the lightning not look like absolute shit in Unreal Engine

-DEMYX SAID THE THING AGAIN!!! HE SAID IT TWICE!!! IT'S NOW HIS CATCHPHRASE AND NO ONE CAN TELL ME OTHERWISE!!

-He still can't get Ienzo's name right on the first try and I love it I'm cry over it

-Playing as Roxas was the most amazing feeling I've had in a while and it was hype as FUCK

-Kairi is... actually kinda difficult to play as and I almost died so many times but her Limit Break with Sora was fuckin BEAUTIFUL and I love how there were different pictures that showed up each time on the feather

-Michael Mouse you goddamn fucking hero I've never respected you until now and you definitely deserve it now

-I couldn't catch all the dialogue the other guardians had with each other in the big team up fight but the fact that Roxas and Ven actually say something to each other is. Glorious.

-Did... did it get confirmed Vanitas is Darkness from KHUX??? And why was Dark Inferno x fought after that?? What is Dark Inferno x anyway??? Is it Vanitas in like a pure form or... something???

-There was no confirmation or hint towards who Luxord might be or what connections he has but HE MENTIONED GOATS AND XIGBAR'S BIO IN THE BOOK COMING OUT TALKS ABOUT GOATS AND IT'S MAKING ME FREAK OUT!!!!

-Why did I get the secret ending when I played on Easy and fulfilled none of the requirements?

-I must now return to asking. WHERE IS DEMYX??? Is that answered in whatever other info is in the Limit episode that I'm too lazy to do myself???

-Precious wonderful babey boy Junior made the greatest expression I'd ever seen during his talk with MoM and I need a screenshot of it it's really truly the cutest thing I've ever seen and I would die for him

-Now that I think about it, thank fucking GOD I didn't have to replay the entire fucking game just for the DLC

-Scala is beautiful and I don't think I have the right words to ever describe how just. Great it is.

-Xehanort confirmed for at least 85 or so years old considering '75 years later-'

-Also..... *Spongebob narrator voice* 1 year later-

-ALSO ALSO! I'm a little insulted that after the greater Kairi focus in ReMind, Nomura suddenly turns around and makes her be asleep for a fucking year. Like, I get it's so they can study her heart, but it feels like him just tossing her aside again after he gave us what we wanted and then not knowing what to do with her anymore.

-I'm gonna go find the stuff I'm missing on Limit Cut cuz I wanna know when that Yozora scene comes into play and if he's actually the super duper extremely hard and painful and torturous secret boss I've heard about