#noore my fucking beloved....

[broken-balance-baby]

far cry 4 handcanons because i'm a stupid hand fetishist and this is also in reference to the body type headcanons i made awhile back

ajay: wide, long fingers. they're thick with square nailbeds and dry with hangnails, sometimes the nails are cut unevenly but he needs a proper trimming but he doesn't seem to have the time for that. his palms are wide, the skin scarred from his time at the military, rough but still soft at the edges, and so not only does he feel cold he also just. doesn't like looking at them. the knuckles are prominent, framing his hands in a way that makes it seem like he can't throw a punch without hurting himself, but he has a strong grip.

sabal: bony, prominent knuckles, something similar to ajay's hands but obvs conforming to his smaller frame and body type. his palms are thin, hands well taken care of despite the conditions of kyrat that would prevent such care, but the skin of his palms are laced with scar tissue and so that's why he's always so careful with his hands. they're not feminine, but they're smaller and thinner than ajay's hands. his finger tips are rounded and his nails have sharp edges and the veins just wrap around his skin so nicely, the bones of his hands are seen at the back of his palms. he wears bracelets and rings, or at least he would if it weren't for like. War lol

amita: average, tapered fingers. her hands are pretty, but she wouldn't let you say that. they're rough in the palms due to the amount of work she puts to them, a prominent trapezoid shape but otherwise still affected by her height. she punches sharp-- as in her knuckles would be in the way when she punches, and the veins that sit at the backs of her palms make her seem older than she actually is.

yuma: wide, finely aged, surprisingly long fingers but rough at the tips. they're very well taken care of hands, she wears black nail polish and refines it every few days when she notices chipping. they're pretty graceful. her palms are lined with callouses and streaked with scarrings, her nails are rounded tips and take more space than her fingertips along with some veins sitting by the knuckles and bones.

mohan: god. boxer type shit. wide hands, wide fingers, ajay takes after him in this regard but goddamn if they aren't masculine as hell. squared at the tips, squared at the nails too, they line themselves with hangnails and not so prominent knuckles which makes the fist more powerful. he's a strong man. a manlet, sure, but yeah.

ishwari: think of the most beautiful hands you've ever seen, paint them red and just. they're slender fingers, soft in the palms and smooth tender skin all around. her veins aren't prominent but the bones at the backs of her palms are, knuckles are also sharp but even if ishwari could throw a punch it's more practical to slap instead. they're unsuspecting-- tender, remarkable, tapered fingers with almond shaped nails, and theyre very kissable wkekkwwkkwk

pagan: lord this man has piano fingers. by that i mean he grew up playing piano, so his fingers are long, thin and beautiful things, but the edges of his fingertips are what he doesn't really like. though the tips are round, surrounding his nails, it's the shape of his nails that he doesn't like the most. they're square, wide, held by rough palms and lined with discoloration that shows his age. his veins are only noticed with coloration, but otherwise aren't very out there.

noore: ughgjklfjglfkdjg noore my beloved. no matter how clean they get it's hard not to notice the little bits of blood that still sticks around after all this time; they sit under her nails and she's gotten tired of having to maintain them consistently. her hands are bony, once tender but roughened up, wrist covered in scarring from attempts, with pretty slender fingers whose knuckles stick out. once they weren't as rounded as before, but ruined from a lifetime of hell pagan has given her, her hands didn't age as well as her face.

bhadra: short fingers, small palms. without the context of her age she's most certainly still a baby, but they are nice and pretty cute fingers, with palms that still don't carry enough strength to them. the bones of her hands would be prominent if it werent for her dark skin, the inwards dip can only be felt if you held it. her hands are soft, still carried with inexperience and youth, but they're developing callouses and a wider grip thanks to the force of the war making her learn to fight.

[shibe-myths]

Have you done True loves kiss?

If not! How would the ros react if it didn’t work when they kissed the mc?

OOOOOO angsty! Fun fact.... True Loves Kiss is one of my MOST favored Tropes. I'm a sucker for fairytales. I even bought my mom a book on fairytales for Mother's Day. So... Spoilers below. Also, I'm gonna do this in waves because FUCK MEEE this'll be long.

Lady B: Lamis had laid beside their body for days. Forgoing sleep, drink, or that of her duties as Sultana. Hellbound to remain by her heart's side. Praying against all odds that the gods would grace House Bashar with a miracle. To see her heart's eyes. To see them stand before her, no longer bound by the curse of Eternal sleep. All she wished was for a miracle that could once more wake them. Her body was growing weak. Half Starved. And yet she prevailed. Adjusting the pillows and blankets. Massaging the flesh to keep sores away. Whispering sweet nothings. Her eyes solely bound to that of the rise and fall of her beloved's chest. Night by night their children would step into the room, cups of sweet poppy and diluted gruel to keep her heart from starvation. But it was all for naught.

All of her court's mages, medicine men, and soothsayers couldn't hold a candle to the storm that was the curse of the Eternal. Desperation had left Lamis no choice but to send Noor and Hadil to the last person she'd ever wish to see again. The Crone. Gods, she wished beyond wishes that she'd never called for that Hag. With such a sickly-sweet answer as a true love's kiss? She had been desperate then. And for it to fail? For the reveal that she was not her beloved's true love? Lamis wished for the world to swallow her whole.

[tacticalhimbo]

too lazy to log into main far cry(all or just one of them ur choice) and tow for .. blorbo plinko fandom meme

you know what? i respect that. you'll get characters for every far cry and the outer worlds (including dlcs) i have played simply bc i admire the dedication.

i will however spare the dash and place this under a cut ksdjkdkdks

also!! everything i say is in a light-hearted nature. there's nuance with a lot of these characters because far cry is almost... designed to make social commentary. and i throw a lot of it out the window for the jokes.

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

far cry 3: listen. jason gave me my name. literally named myself after this pathetic little white boy. but also... dr earnhardt. my beloved.

far cry 4: yuma my beloved 💕 i love her so much and i love the characterization the dlc added to her and i just. UGH. stan.

far cry 5: staci... baby boy. light of my life right there. i can fix him—

far cry new dawn: the judge. not bc they're the deputy tho. like. even before i knew that i just. gravitated toward them. genderless? mute? friend of animals? peak vibes right there.

far cry 6: juan!! he reminds me of my friend's dad so there is much love in my heart for him.

the outer worlds: vicar max... for no reasons in particular >_>;;

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

far cry 3: none of them give me that energy really but ig jason counts bc again... i named myself after the damn fool.

far cry 4: bhadra... sweet baby girl!! actual baby. a very good kid and caught in a situation nobody, esp a kid, should go through. ajay adopts her canon idc i make the rules

far cry 5: peaches... i love 😭 literally friend shaped but like. emotional support cougar right there.

far cry new dawn: fcnd sharky... UGHHH the dad bod 🥵 friend shaped. good for man6 things. doing his best. love him.

far cry 6: philly. eugh he has peak bro energy. would suffer through drinking beer just to hang out with him.

the outer worlds: parvati holcomb my beloved. would give her the world and then some!!

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

far cry 3: oliver! i love that stoner with my whole ass heart. he deserves the world after what happened on rook and i wish him nothing but the best.

far cry 4: i'd say every character bc far cry fans slept on this game bc....racism. but noore!! i love noore!! she just wanted to do good by kyrat and be a beacon for providing healthcare and stability and like. she put her family above all else. i love her.

far cry 5: tracey... i feel for her so badly, esp. bc she was friends with rachel before she became faith. and then she lost the only other person she had in her life that was close with her like that... 😭😭

far cry new dawn: underrated... hmmmmmmmm nana. she is a batshit crazy old lady who can and will kill a bitch between knitting. i love her. can she adopt me—

far cry 6: paolo!! fuck do i love him. everyone gives him shit for wanting to leave yara but like. he's queer. even among the guerrilla resistance, he faces active discrimination and violence. i do not blame him for putting himself first. it is not his responsibility to "fix" the mindset of others and i will die on that hill.

the outer worlds: ada... i have a weak spot for sentient, sarcastic yet loving ai

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

far cry 3: sam. SAM... my sweet german man. lemme give him a kiss 🥺 he deserved so much more.

far cry 4: not obsure but pagan bc i will not shut up about him.

far cry 5: virgil. that is all. would put him in friend shaped category but he's such a side character that nobody really pays attention to him so. his smile... i want a button from him.

far cry new dawn: selene!! i love her so much. she's doing her damn best and that is. all that matters.

far cry 6: rosa mel paquete, aka gilberto rosario. a spymaster drag queen? can fit into the poor little meow meow category but i have seen no content around miss paquete at all so!!

the outer worlds: halcyon helen 💕

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

far cry 3: mmh this one might catch me flack but buck. yes. the super sadomasochist. listen... he's interesting to psychoanalyze. plus the whole "history teacher" arc was just. great. funny. he has potential when he isn't doing... all that!

far cry 4: gonna say it, fc4 willis supremacy. he is a douche. he's a disgusting fed. and i love him. i want to give him the best-worst time he could ever have.

far cry 5: faith/rachel. she's popular but she's obviously problematic... she's one of the seeds... but!! she's a victim. fucked up what she's done but there is potential for her. the dlc even shows that, but won't spoil it. she deserves the chance to recover and heal.

far cry new dawn: thomas rush is a poor little meow meow. he's not unpopular or controversial or anything. he is just. a man. and i love that for him. been through a lot and for what!!! nothing.

far cry 6: maría... she is evil and i love that for her. peak girlboss. there's a lot of nuance around her role (but explaining is spoilers so!)

the outer worlds: adjutant akande. i love her for similar reasons to maría. she's so powerful 😌

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

far cry 3: riley, but in a "i love you and will torment you to make you laugh" kinda way. it's the older sibling instinct!! but like. opposite to john. i want to give riley the world and will give him some tough love to support him.

far cry 4: de pluer... 🥰 he'd kill me after and it'd be worth it.

far cry 5: john. he's an absolute bastard and as an older sibling, it is my duty to torment him as he's the baby of the family. cain instinct activated.

far cry new dawn: roger. for similar reasons to bembé.

far cry 6: bembé. not in a "i hate him and it's funny" way but in a "i love him and want to torment him for it" kinda way.

the outer worlds: rockwell and administor ludovico. old, uptight men are just 👁👄👁 prime targets.

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

far cry 3: hoyt. fuckin' wish dot com elon musk headass... hate him! deserves nothing but the worst honestly babes.

far cry 4: sabal 😐 no room in my house for people who use religion/tradition to excuse their shitty behavior.

far cry 5: hurk drubman senior. fuck his conservative, maga headass. he'd probably call me a slur and it's on sight with him.

far cry new dawn: genuinely could not think of anyone bc like. idk. ethan is probably the closest one i'd send. he just needs to give me one good reason not to.

far cry 6: antón 😐 i'm still not recovered from the ending.

the outer worlds: i couldn't think of anybody... 💀

[magicianapprenticelyra]

My 2020 Tumblr Top 10

1). 194 notes - Mar 25 2020

By @alvrudart​! To date it’s one of my most favorite commissions I have ever gotten with Ly in mind. Seeing it here again makes me all warm and fuzzy.

🥰 🥰 🥰 🥰 🥰 

2). 132 notes - Mar 21 2020

By @jilljoycearts​. This is Lyra as the Palace Librarian. Ahhhhhhh I can’t ever get over how serene she looks. I love it to absolute pieces.

3). 55 notes - Mar 18 2020

“One Last Time”

She remains standing, cards flying between her hands with ease, brows furrowed with concentration. Eventually, she stops, flipping over the topmost card.

“…The Fool,“ she names me.

I smile, trying to ignore the odd tingling sensations fluttering from the top of my head down to my feet.

I’ve missed her. I’ve missed her so much…

“Right you are.”

[I am not gonna lie: I am delightfully surprised to see this work in particular take the Top 10, much less Top 3. Thank you to everyone that read, reblogged, and/or liked this piece! It’s an honor to have this near and dear piece of mine make it to this list!]

4). 54 notes - Feb 1 2020

By @agent-darkbootie​. How apt that the art I have of Lyra as an old lady—albeit in the Modern AU—follow the fic in #3. The Nook slippers, her expression!!!! MUAH~!

5). 48 notes - Jan 31 2020

Q: Yes hello, question for the birthday girl: What would be (apprentice) Lyra's ideal wedding cake with each of the main six?

Ask sent in from @vesuvianoak​​/@thecrazyalaskan​​. Personally a lot of the images on it no longer are to my liking, but it makes me wonder if the devs would ever do a Wedding Tale . . .

6). 44 notes - Aug 12 2020

Another piece done by agent-darkbootie! This is Lyra at the end of Asra’s Upright Ending, complete with hat on her head and beloved familiar in her bag! Done in the wonderful Okami style, I just wanna boop her nose! Lol.

7). 37 notes - May 19 2020

this . . . is new

Lyra: “You were here!? You were here!?!?“

At this point Alex makes their way toward Lyra, who is frozen in place.

Lyra: “Noooooooooooooooo…”

Lyra: “Noooooooooooooooooooooooo…”

Lyra: “Alex for the love of everything dear to the both of us please stop talking—!”

She’s fully hidden her face behind her hands. She bemoans the fact she will never live this down…!

They gently pat her shoulders, reassuring her they wouldn’t breathe a word of this to anyone.

After a bit of back and forth, they both seal the promise with a hug and part to their separate ways: Lyra to her work, and Alex to lunch… with a private, knowing smile.

[Another one of my fics makes it to the list! Yay! XD Even more importantly, it’s Portia centric too. Everyone seems to love my pieces with her. 2021 I should write more with her then . . .]

8). 36 notes - Feb 15 2020

“PolyShips w/ the Kids! [I]”

Asra/Lyra/Muriel:

How It Happens: Honestly this is the one of the polyamorous relationships that has a high possibility of happening.

[Hải, Noor, and Iris are featured in this long headcanon post of mine with a possible polyship I could see happening with Lyra. While she isn’t explicitly polyamorous like her uncles and aunt, it could happen! This reminds me: I need to get on the other WIPs with this theme in mind, LOL]

9). 34 notes - May 17 2020

“Becoming Distinct”

The crowd disperses, save for the girl that stumbled into Asra’s booth back in January. Even as she approaches timidly, Asra’s feet dig into the dirt as he snatches his box of coins from the ground. Reflexes, he supposed.

“…is Mrs. Aster there?” she asks softly. Her tremulous voice, added with her heavy accent, confirms she was not from around here.

The last time they ran into each other, she was crying her eyes out. Asra thought it was because of the uneven haircut she had, but that was fixed. The ends were just barely touching her chin now. She had gotten new glasses too.

[This fic was a prompt from @lovelikeyoursfest​ back in May. I couldn’t complete all the prompts, but I did manage a few of them between my finals and . . . life in general, lol. One of my favorite topics within The Arcana’s lore is how Asra and MC got to know each other. In Lyra’s case, she got more interaction with him this go around versus the initial ‘falling into his merchandise stall when Nadia first comes to Vesuvia’ bit. I’m glad people read, reblogged, and/or liked this one too].

10). 33 notes - Oct 10 2020

“Finding Space and Time”

“I knew you and your family before, didn’t I?”

James is taken aback by her bluntness. He’s missed it.

“… yes,” he nods. James checks the state of her bowstring, handing it back to her. “You know how to string it?”

“Wait a minute!” Lyra sputters. “How? Why? How come—?”

“Easy Lyra …” he soothes. “Easy. Mind yer voice; getting more eyes as is.” James makes a gesture to someplace behind her with the tilt of his head.

Lyra flushes scarlet, mouth curved into a frown. In the meantime, James looks at the curious onlookers with a venomous glare. Move …

They eventually dispersed. When James is sure they’re alone, he asks her quietly, “How did you know?”

“You slipped,” Lyra chuckles wryly. “You said how I was ‘always a bright one’. I don’t remember you, sadly …”

“Asra told us about your accident,” he replies. James continues with the details: how she was trying a spell to find a cure for the Red Plague. It backfired terrifically. It had wiped her memory to the point where she was almost like an infant.

“Th’ fact Asra managed to get you back to being like an adult again in a three year span …” James exhales. “We’re … we’re indebted to him, truly.”

“Ahh … yeah,” Lyra nods, swallowing. “Asra told me that too.”

“’m sorry …”

“What are you sorry for?” Lyra looks at him quizzically.

“The fact you dealt with all that, and the episodes if you came across any one of us …“

"It wasn’t your fault,” Lyra murmurs. “We didn’t know … you didn’t know…”

James nods. “So … how do you wish to get to know us all again …?

{Last, but not the least! This is another surprise to me, to be honest. It’s one of my most recent works; I believe I did most of the reblogs but I digress. I wasn’t able to get the third of this set done in time for the new year, but if anyone was curious to see the sequel of this one, here it is: [Counting the Days]}

Lemme end by saying that 2020 was one hell of a fucking nightmare rollercoaster ride. Despite it, we’re all still here and doing our best. My heart goes out to everyone, and I wish you all a better 2021.

Created by TumblrTop10

[3416]

Emma! I’m super bored and the tags always dead so if you’re bored too and don’t mind, I would like to know...

• your favourite wtfockdown Sobbe clip/text

• your favourite character interactions that didn’t involving one of the mains

• your fave meme from the season 3 chaotic meme days

• your favourite underrated scene/music moment of season 3 ie. not beloved wildfire or wandering romance

Hope you’re having a lovely night ✨✨

hey there sweets........ i too am a little bored, i just woke up from a nap fklsdjf, so let’s SEE...

favorite wtfockdown sobbe clip hmmmmm... i might say their last one actually talking face to face bc first of all, i LOVE that bg wherever sander is with the spray paint, and secondly, i think they’re just sufficiently loved up and happy to see each other no matter how pointless or dumb the convo is like.. sander’s dopey smile when robbe was just saying he hoped things would open... nothing funny was even said, he’s just in love fkldjsfkl. it was also an example of wtfock responding to criticism people had about s3 while also being kind of revealing abt sander’s mindset on that sort of thing... like that advice he gives about revisiting slowly but surely until robbe’s fully comfortable feels like him probably reciting advice he’s received in therapy or smth bc like... it’s true! you can’t just be scared of reliving traumatic memories forever bc they might not leave and there will always be things you have to work through but you don’t necessarily have to let it seep into your physical realm or take on shape or form of a place like *sander voice* their bar, and the fact that robbe is always gonna have him to lean back on when he’s struggling about that is comforting. it’s a hard thing to have a convo over on a computer screen, but they are sweethearts and i like that the hate crime was addressed even just briefly like that. close second would be the pool lockdown walk or the chernobyl one maybe!!

favorite character interactions in general?? i don’t know that i have specifics but i loved seeing jana/jens in the bg of season 3. i also LOVE yasmina/luca’s friendship and hope we get more of that in s5, they can be such hellions together but they’re very much the same speed of humor. i wish we got to see more bg britt/noor but damn noor being at a different school.... hmmm...  season 4 i’ve enjoyed the crumbs of luca/amber friendship in the bg also. i really don’t think my brain can conjure anything specific at the moment so OOPS sorry.

favorite chaotic memes huh.... loved all the chaos before we knew who sander was, i only joined right at the start of week 2 but it was fun to just. not know fkjdsklf to speculate. the most memorable overall was probably the round world one about robbe on his bike riding to find sander fkldsjflk. i WISH i was around for the agony of ohn weekend in general, i was in cali on vacation and not with my phone most of the time, so i missed a lot of that general madness but watching s3 live was fun and emotional and i miss it. 

honestly i don’t even think my favorite picks in general are wildfire or wandering romance as much as i DO love those choices of song. i adore the passenger cover of space oddity and the way it just stops the second he blocks sander. there were a lot of moments like that in s3 where robbe was wearing headphones and it’d stop or get softer when he took them off like.. there was a lot of clever mixing too, just as much as song choice. my favorite song that i actually added to all my playlists immediately after hearing was from me by khushi during the cuddle clip, THAT was one of my fav songs all season. (so was contaminated by banks while robbe gets up and goes n sits on the beach to text his mom) also some shoutouts go to two men in love during the date scene (haunting literally fuck), way down we go in the bg of the bar after noor/britt ditch them, rescue my heart during the hotel scene, and also them ending s3 with in my mind, which is also the song that plays in the only trailer of wtfock!! i feel like those are pretty tame picks but the seasons soundtrack overall was just vibey and cohesive and i got a lot of new music/artists to look out for from it so.

ANYWAY THANK YOU FOR THESE QUESTIONS!!!!! you’re so thoughtful for letting me just spout off fkljsdlkfd i hope you can stave off the boredom somehow, and i thank you thank you for coming to my inbox to talk abt s3. literally my favorite skam seaosn of all time i feel like i have opinions about every clip and every choice fklsjdkfld. thanks for making my evening better and sorry for the drawn out response 🥺🥰❣️❣️

[cph-dreaming]

Zaterdag 08:44

(As requested by @lucidpantone)

Let me start by saying that this was actually the first clip of wtFock I saw live (or as real time as it gets when you have to rely on those wonderful people from @wtfockenglish who did such an amazing job of keeping us foreigners in the loop). I had heard rumours of a Belgium remake but at that time my life was very different from what it is now, just a bit more than half a year later, and I had never been into more than original Skam and the French version of season three. I still believe that apart from the format we wouldn’t be talking about any version of Skam hadn’t it been for season three but it is up for discussion. Season four could have changed the lives for so many just as season three did, but... Yeah. Let’s leave it at that for now.

I came home from my trivial work that Saturday in the fall of last year thinking my life had no meaning at all anymore. How can I even remember this day so vividly? Then the universe decided to introduce me to those two Belgian boys that ended up bringing me here on tumblr, meeting you guys, making me write again, shoved me that and how I needed to change my life, and even gave me a taste of love again that I will forever cherish. So bear that in mind if you read what I have to say as it will surely influence my view of this clip.

Dramaturgically speaking this is actually a simple scene if we see all the scenes from that Saturday as one. The first two episodes of Robbe’s season was used to establish him as a character and setting the premises for his journey. The only major difference as far as I can tell from most other versions of season three at this point is that we haven’t been introduced to his ‘Even’. No longing looks across the school yard (or the equivalent). No, he’s just not there. Until he suddenly is (actually in the clip before this).

Wow, talk about an ansatz taken to the extreme in this clip, like it or not!

Let’s just say you are new to the Skamverse when you watch this scene for the first time this Saturday that even before the next scene, with the croques, you should realise what you’re in for, a gay love story, so loaded is this scene (ok, unless you’re like my mother who would just wonder why that one boy has bleached his hair, because what’s the point of that?!)

In the first clip of that Saturday wtFock reminds us - in case we should have forgotten - how lonely Robbe is. He was with his girlfriend that he might like but isn’t into the night before, a night that ended in disaster, he feels abandoned by his friends, and he has even displaced his relationship with the one who has always made him feel safe and provided the only stability in his life however fragile, his mama (so beautifully symbolised by him trying to text her but ending up deleting his message).

Enter the antagonist! And what a dude he is (yes Noor, he is cool!) Those two clips (Zaterdag 08:23 and 08:44) are dramaturgically speaking (nearly) nothing more than that, an introduction to our antagonist who will dramatically change the life of our sweet little brown-eyed hero. In this clip it is early pointed out to us that Sander doesn’t abide by rules (“You don’t have to scan everything”), that he is still a mysterious character (“How do you even know Amber?”) , that he’s artsy as fuck (he even takes Bowie fans back to the Berlin days), that normal social conventions don’t apply to him (as he whistles walking past Robbe having shoved him into those stupid Lay’s crisps boxes). So three minutes of introducing us to this artsy, rebellious, Bowie-loving, (might I say?) pretentious dude. Nothing less, nothing more.

So why does this scene impact us so hard? Is it only because we have finally been introduced to our beloved Belgian Even, Sander Driesen? What is it in that scene that keeps us as a community to go back to this clip, to remember it with such passion?

Well, the simple fact of finally being introduced to Sander is definitely a part of it. But in my humble view it is not only the introduction to this character, but the way it was done, that is at the core of our fascination. Why we love this scene so much!

First of all it’s the simplicity in the scene. There are only two people in it, Robbe and Sander, and only two other people are referenced, Amber and Bowie (one of them plays a wonderful part in the rest of the story, the other plays a hilarious part in those conspiracy theories we have come up with in this community). The simplicity of the scene has only one point, to show us how infatuated Robbe is at this point already.

When I watched this clip the first time it was so easy to see, but then it was the first clip I ever watched from wtFock. I didn’t have the background with me, neither from previous seasons or from the first two episodes of season three. When you don’t have any references the scene is clear: Boy meets boy, boy thinks other boy is hot as fuck! It wasn’t until I had watched the start of the season I realised how different this scene was to what we knew about Robbe at this time. How out of character this scene actually is for him. And remember that we see the world through his eyes! Until this clip we have not seen Robbe being so genuinely interested in another person, we have not seen him being so open and unguarded and free as he is in this scene. My favourite part of the grocery clip is when Sander says “How crazy is that?!” and Robbe just answers “Zot!” Boy, does he go zot after that compared to what we have seen of him before in his season. He suddenly doesn’t give a shit about Amber’s grocery list anymore and ends up shovelling all of his favourite cookies and whatnots into the cart without even considering scanning them. Hell, he even stands up on the cart, trying to balance himself while Sander drives him around (point made?!)

And then there is the ‘roundabout-scene’. God, I hated it when I saw it the first time, how cringeworthy and banal, old-school and stupid, I thought. Until after rewatches I realised there is such a cool point behind this short scene. One is the simple tribute to old music videos, to Sander’s interests that we now call camp or cliche. The other is once again that small play with POV that wtFock ended up having as its trademark after season three. Do we really think it is a coincidence that we hear Sander singing along to ‘Rebel Rebel’ as the camera shifts from him to Robbe while the lyrics say “Hot tramp, I love you so”? Well, think again.

The end of the scene where Sander crashes Robbe into those cardboard boxes made for some funny theories in our community. From Sander’s affinity to violence to his homelessness and whatnot, oh that was a good time! To me, then and now, it is simple. This whole scene is only an introduction to our antagonist and to the story as it will unfold: Sander says, I am going to take you on the wildest ride of your life, I’m going to love you, but I’m also going to hurt you while I walk away from you. And you will still end up following me, smiling, as Robbe does at the end of the clip to the lyrics “pushing me to swim against the open tide”.

Dramaturgical simplicity in television, cinema or on stage is so underrated! Unfortunately, because it is so sweet, so fine, so beautiful, when it is done like this. Oh ansatz, I love you so!

[if-you-built-yourself-a-myth]

Vlog #16 - Would You Rather

Moyo began the vlog in English, because he was better at it than anyone else in the group.

“What’s up, guys? Welcome back to another thrilling vlog from your favorite Broerrs.” The rest could be in Flemish.

Robbe, Jens, and Aaron burst into cheers in the background. Robbe winked at the camera, but not really, since Sander was the one trying to steady the tripod in front of the group. Something on its left side had broken last time they used it. Sander winked back.

“We’ve been reading your comments,” continued Moyo.

Jens made a face of disgust. “Honestly, sometimes I regret it.”

“We regret it a lot. Sometimes.”

Robbe knew exactly the comment they were referencing. Someone with a long, unpronounceable username decided that they wanted to be with Jens… biblically, if you will. Minus the religion. He felt scandalized to have read it. In the description of this new video, he’d include a politely worded plea to never type and send anything like that ever again.

“But we’re listening to the people, and you have spoken. We picked the next challenge. It’s time for WOULD—”

“—YOU—" said Robbe.

Jens finished the title. “—RATHER!”

Aaron sulked on the end of the couch. “What am I supposed to say?”

At this point, Moyo and Robbe would edit in a cut, some music, and a tiny little animated title to introduce the game. Sander already had a few ideas he told them he’d be willing to draw if they wanted. The cuts were the best part.

“Alright. We actually have a special guest with us today. Here, I’ll take the camera…”

Sander and Moyo traded places. Now Moyo sat behind the tripod to keep everything stable. Sander sat down in Moyo’s spot in the center of the couch. He looked even more like himself than usual—the Bowie shirt Noor bought him for Christmas, black jeans cuffed at the bottom, Docs, and a leather jacket to tie the ensemble together. Definitely more punk rock than anyone else in the frame. At Jens’s suggestion, he’d gotten his left ear pierced a week ago. The proper time had yet to elapse before he could change posts, so the same black stud with which the parlor pierced it remained in his ear.

Besides the factual part of his appearance, he made Robbe feel like his heart had jumped from a hundredth-floor window and began the freefall of a lifetime.

“This fine specimen…” Jens gestured to Sander with a dramatic flourish. He twirled a finger around a strand of Sander’s bleached hair. “… happens to be the boyfriend of our very own Robbe Ijzermans. He’ll be an honorary Broerrr, for this vlog.”

“Only this vlog?” asked Aaron.

“We’ll see how it goes.”

Sander waved at Moyo. “I’m Sander. I’m—”

The boys talked over each other, finishing the sentence for him.

“—blond.”

“—TAKEN.”

“—sexually active.”

“—a much beloved children’s movie character.”

“Oh, oh! I’ve got it. A distant relative of Queen Elizabeth.”

The edits with this portion of the video would be hilarious for sure.

“—an art student in university and Robbe’s boyfriend,” said Sander. “I’m honored to be here with the Broerrs today.”

It had been Moyo’s suggestion to add Sander to the vlogs. He’d approached Robbe after class and tried to bring up the subject naturally, citing something about how Sander hung out with them all the time anyway, and it would make sense to include him. Robbe knew it was another peace offering. Ever since he called Sander gross for liking both boys and girls, he’d been trying to make up for it over and over again.

The truth was, Robbe forgave him at the slightest sign of repentance. He wasn’t one to hold grudges. It did feel good, though, to know that Moyo truly regretted his past actions and made a conscious effort to avoid similar ones.

“We asked you guys to send us your burning would-you-rather questions, and you did not disappoint.” Jens shook a hat in front of the camera. “An impartial third party—”

“Jana!” yelled Aaron.

“—picked out the best ones and put them in this hat. Each of us is going to pick one out to read, and then everyone has to answer it. You’re not allowed to not answer. And yes, you have to explain your reasons.

“I’m going first. Question one.” Jens cleared his throat to begin. “Would you rather your shower always be freezing cold, or always be the perfect temperature with bad water pressure?” He barely needed any time to think. “Cold shower. It’s good for your skin.” He turned to the others around him. “What say you?”

Sander took Robbe’s hand and set it down on his knee, for no apparent reason, and it made Robbe blush. “I would say we’re the warm shower type.” He was right. Robbe took a cold shower approximately one time in his entire life, and it was when he had to wash the blood from his clothing after— no thanks. He liked the temperature scalding.

“Warm is the way,” Aaron agreed. “Water pressure makes no difference.”

“Disagree.” Even off-camera, Moyo needed his opinion heard. He balanced the tripod as best he could and ran to sit on the arm of the couch, his shoulder brushing with Robbe’s. “I’m with Jens. Cold water tightens your skin or something. Young skin. Fuck yeah.”

Sander laughed. Robbe would never get tired of hearing that laugh. “I’d rather be warm than have young skin. Comfort above appearance.”

This reply made Jens scoff. “You can afford to say that, because you’re beautiful.”

Another cut there, probably. Sander could animate a little picture of a shower or something. Damn, it was really going to pay off to have a boyfriend capable of high-level art techniques.

He decided he liked seeing Sander and the boys together like this. Two worlds he’d suffered to keep separate, now colliding. Instead of the death of the universe, though, all that happened as a result was good-natured banter. They looked comfortable with each other, no tension or withdrawal whatsoever.

Aaron drew from the hat next. “Would you rather speak every language but not understand them spoken to you, or understand every language spoken to you but not be able to speak them? Did I say that right?”

“Yeah,” said Jens. “It’s just badly worded.”

No one had a fast answer to this question. In the final edit, they’d need to cut out a good chunk of footage, because everyone argued over each other in a fashion so violent it couldn’t be understood. At one point, while trying to make the point that speaking and understanding could only exist in tandem and therefore the question was irrelevant, Jens noticed he was wearing the same earring as Sander. They halted the disagreement to talk about it. Two minutes of unusable content.

Robbe answered first. “Understand. I think it’d be cool to know if people were talking shit about me in the grocery store.”

“Speak,” said Moyo. “Because chicks think it’s hot.”

Jens went for logic over desire. “Understand, so I could go abroad and not look like an idiot when people talk to me.”

Aaron, clearly at a loss, just nodded. “Yeah, I think whatever Jens thinks.”

Sander took the question deeper than the others, which made Robbe proud and concerned at the same time. “Speak, because it doesn’t say that I wouldn’t be able to understand written messages. As long as I can speak it, it means that I can translate it in my head, which means I can ask people to write things down for me.” He thought for another second before continuing, “It wouldn’t work the same way with understanding, because you wouldn’t necessarily master the pronunciation just because you can listen to what other people are saying.”

A comprehensive answer. Aaron stared in awe. “Robbe, you’re dating a genius.”

“Yeah.” Robbe squeezed Sander’s hand in between them. He could feel his heart melting inside his chest. “Clearly I’m not smart enough for this linguistic master.”

“Je t’aime encore,” Sander whispered, quirking his eyebrow. He planted a kiss on Robbe’s lips.

This inspired Moyo to lean sideways and fall off the arm of the couch so that he landed across Robbe and Sander, his head in Sander’s lap. “Aw, ce qu'est un bon petit ami!” He broke into the largest smile Robbe had ever seen and gave Sander a fist bump. “I didn’t know you knew French!”

“Oh, well… yes.”

“We’re French buds now. Everyone else can go home. When we want to communicate in secret, we’re going to do it in French.”

“Gladly.”

“I’ve been telling the others to learn French and they haven’t listened—” 

Robbe didn’t fancy the idea of Sander hiding anything else from him via secret messages in other languages. Besides, this footage probably wasn’t any good for final production. “Okay, guys, shut up. My turn.” 

Moyo didn’t bother to mix the slips in the hat before passing it to Robbe. He picked the one on top. “Would you rather have no one attend your wedding, or no one attend your funeral?” There was an obvious answer to this question. Jana shouldn’t have picked this out of all the submissions they received, especially since Robbe swore he saw one about having oatmeal poured up your nose. “Funeral. It’s not my problem if I’m dead.”

Jens looked this way and that. “We’re probably all in agreement.”

There was a moment of silence. 

“Actually,” said Sander, “I’d say wedding.”

Leave it to Sander to pick the unpopular answer. Robbe imagined the animation they’d put beside Sander’s head; a thumbs-down would convey the emotion pretty well. “Give your reasons, then.”

“No one showing up for your funeral means that no one cares that you’re dead.” He squeezed Robbe’s hand again. “I want people to miss me.”

“You’re a better person than all of us, then.”

 Moyo’s turn came next. He had yet to move from his position across Sander and Robbe. Robbe took this as the ultimate gesture of ‘I’m okay with your sexuality and your boyfriend, and I’m still comfortable with you.’ It made him happy enough to ignore the fact that his leg was in an awkward position and now he couldn’t fix it.

“Would you rather throw up every time you saw a bird, or burp after every kiss?” Moyo took a second to consider. “Well first of all…” He reached out to tilt the camera downwards, centering himself in the frame. It ruined everything Sander had done to keep the tripod level. “…birds aren’t real. They’re drones from the government to spy on people and, in the case of rebellion, kill them. From America.”

Jens nodded enthusiastically at this idea. “So before we answer it, does this question refer to government drone birds, or only the mythical real birds?”

“All birds,” said Sander. “Real or fake.”

“And are we counting flightless birds as birds?”

“Why would we not?”

Moyo stroked his chin in contemplation. “All birds... then the kiss one.”

“You don’t get kissed enough for that to be a problem,” Aaron reassured him. This earned a punch in the chest.

Sander and Robbe shared a look. “Throw up when I see a bird,” said Sander, confidently. “We make out too much for the other one.” When he met Robbe’s eyes, Robbe felt his vision tunnel until nothing but Sander remained in his sight line. He was too fucking in love for his own good. “Imagine if every time we kissed I had to stop and burp!”

“Nasty.”

They went around the group again, each choosing a question and answering it. The highlights were pretty obvious, even as they filmed it. All the earlier questions were gold compared to the later ones. Robbe wasn’t there to see Jana weed through the options, so he didn’t necessarily know that she had. For all he knew, she’d just picked the first thirty comments and threw them in the hat.

He passed the time by analyzing the way Sander reacted to different statements. He expected his boyfriend to be shy, or awkward, or even just a little guarded. Instead, Sander was an open book. He laughed with his full chest, made faces when the boys said things he didn’t like, went so far as to slap Jens on the shoulder when Jens mentioned prioritizing breakfast over his attendance. Like a member of the squad. 

Yes, these were two worlds. But what if they could be mixed into one? 

“Okay, Last question, last question.” Moyo held the hat out in front of Sander. “Sander’s going to read this one, so it better be good.” He shook the hat a couple times to mix things around, even though there was only one slip of paper left. Sander reached inside and grabbed the remainder.

He read it. “Would you rather not have sex with a goat but have everyone believe you did, or have sex with a goat but no one will ever find out?” He paused, mumbled through the words over again, and looked into the camera. “What kind of crack do you guys smoke?”

“Pick one,” Moyo ordered.

Jens leaned in close, so his face took up the entire lens. “This is how we determine if he’s worthy of our Robbe. What he answers right here.” He sat back in his chair. “There’s a correct answer, Sander, so choose carefully.”

Robbe imagined the final YouTube version would include an edited still of himself and Sander with a question mark dangling in between them. Some fire emojis, perhaps.

“How can there be a right answer?”

In lieu of a sophisticated reply, the other boys began to chant, “Choose, choose, choose choose.”

“Alright, alright.” He held up his hands to signal for a grand pause. “I’d rather not fuck the goat.”

The group dissolved into a chorus of laughter. Robbe was pretty sure he wouldn’t want to see whatever graphic Moyo selected in the final for this part. Actually, it might just be a goat emoji. He still wouldn’t want to see it in the context of this conversation.

“So you want everyone to think you fucked the goat?” Jens used his newscaster voice and offered an invisible microphone to Sander, who pushed his hand away.

“Well no, but if it’s that or actually fuck the goat—”

Aaron shrugged his shoulders. “I’d fuck the goat.”

“You would?”

“Yeah. It’d be a one-time thing. If I didn’t fuck the goat, I’d never be able to live down fucking the goat. So y’know, lose-lose.”

“No, but if you fuck the goat then you’ve fucked a goat.”

“It’s a no from me.” Jens held up his hands in surrender. “Let people think what they want.”

Moyo tilted his head back a little more so he could make eye contact with Jens. “Yeah, no from me too.” Robbe noticed that Moyo’s head must be digging into Sander’s thigh, but Sander seemed unbothered.

“Either way, you get the consequences of having fucked the goat.” Aaron tried to justify his previous statement. “It’s a matter of physical versus social. I think I can deal with the physical, but I know my image can’t handle the social.”

Sander blinked incredulously. “ You’d prefer bestiality over a rumor? What the fuck...”

“Please stop talking about fucking goats,” Robbe interjected. “I’m getting mental images.”

Sander tilted his head until it rested on Robbe’s shoulder. He looked up at his boyfriend with a tiny mischievous smile. “Do they turn you on?”

At this point, Jens decided that the vlog needed to be over. He hopped up from the couch and announced, “Well, this has been a great time. Don’t forget to like and subscribe to this channel to see more of us losers and—”

Robbe cut him off. “The only loser today is Amber, who may have just found out her boyfriend would fuck a goat.”

“Not in just any circumstance—” Aaron protested, but Moyo spoke louder than him.

“Peace out, dudes.”

He clicked the camera off. 

[ravenbrenna09]

Sander knew amber because she used to hang out with britt it's obvious what more do you want

Okay, at this point, I’m genuinely asking: is there something about Britt and Amber’s relationship that I don’t fucking know about?

Keep in mind, I’ve only seen Season 1 and I’ve only seen reaction videos for season 2 (and before someone comes yelling at me for having not seen season 2 yet, especially when it’s such an important season, I was planning on watching it before and then Corona happened and I’ve been struggling to keep my cool with school and writing; as soon as I’m done, it’s on my to-do list as soon as a school over) so I could totally be missing something. 

But, as far as I can tell, Britt and Amber don’t have that much of a relationship or even a friendship, to begin with. Yes, Amber was a part of Britt’s team, briefly, at the beginning of Season 1 for Freefest before Amber was kicked out for reasons that I don’t fully understand yet, if at all. Maybe, they were pretty good friends before then. Maybe not. Maybe after Jana and Britt started being friends again, they got closer and started hanging out, but even then, I don’t see how they’re so close that Amber is the only one of the girl squad to know Sander well enough for him to follow her. 

Especially considering that Sander doesn’t even follow a lot of people, to begin with. If I remember right, and I’m pretty sure I am, as soon as Sander was introduced, the only two people that Sander followed that was a part of the main cast that we knew and loved (and not celebrities) was Britt and Amber. When Robbe followed him on Instagram, he started following Robbe. And, it was only later (this is where I’m fuzzy) before he started following Milan, Jens, Moyo, and Noor (which I don’t know when that last one happened or if I’m just flat out dumb, but I know it wasn’t there in the beginning). To this day, he still doesn’t even follow Aaron, who is one of his boyfriend’s best friends. 

But, at the beginning of the season, at the beginning of one of the most important and beloved seasons in the entirety of this show, one that brings so much traffic both locally and internationally, the two characters that they make a point of having this character follow, is Britt, his girlfriend, and Amber? 

Britt is an easy reason to explain. She was his girlfriend. The two of them had been together for about six months, about May of 2019 is when they got together, and if it is what you say, that the two of them met and became friends through Britt, the timeline wouldn’t add up. If Sander and Britt had met off-screen during the events of s1, then maybe I can consider that being the possibility because Amber was trying to be a member of Britt’s team, but a friendly reminder that Britt (or the rest of the team, idk) kicked Amber out of that team. 

So, it’s unlikely that Amber met Sander through Britt because as far as we know, Sander and Britt didn’t even start dating until the next May. And, there’s also a possibility that the social media team just messed the fuck up and accidentally had Sander following Amber without realizing. But, as soon as it was pointed out or noticed, the social media team could’ve easily corrected this by having him unfollow her. But, they didn’t. Still to this day, Sander is still following Amber. And, I don’t even think it was a mistake. 

As far as we know, the beach trip was the first time that Sander was meeting Britt’s friends. Yes, at the end of the day, he was really there to meet Robbe because he knew that Noor would be there too and Noor was his girlfriend so that’s overall why he came. But, still, it was the first time that he was supposed to be meeting her friends. So, why does Willem DS and Nona play Sander and Amber like they know each other? 

When Sander originally meets Robbe and Robbe mentions that Amber is still sleeping, Sander remarks that “Amber is still sleeping” and goes to head to the store anyway. When Amber sends a list, Sander flicks through it, remarking “no” through several things. When Robbe questions how Sander knows Amber, he doesn’t answer and avoids the question. Back at the beach house, Sander and Amber bicker over what he got and what to eat. When Sander shoves her out of the kitchen (which she let him do) and saying that they’ll cook, she remarks that she wants to eat something healthy and Sander promises that they will. It’s only then that she stops him and makes him promise to which he does and she lets him shove her the rest of the way out of the kitchen. Just the kitchen scene alone screams a familiarity with each other. 

If Sander and Amber met through Britt, I would not expect them to have that type of familiarity with one another. Even with my best friends’ boyfriends, I didn’t have that type of familiarity with them. Hell, if we want to go one step further, even with my best friend’s boyfriend who she had been in a relationship with for a year and who she swore that she was going to marry, I didn’t have that level of familiarity with him. And, from what the show has established, Britt and Amber do not have a strong type of friendship. So, I don’t think they met through each other or that it’s obvious that this is the reason why. 

But, I don’t know what the connection is. It could be a lot of things. They could be half-siblings with different dads (though I’m not entirely sold about this being the case, it still could be). They could be step-siblings that have been living under the same roof for a few years. They could be cousins! Or, they could just have known each other for a really long time. I don’t really know what the connection is between them and I don’t know if we’ll ever know. 

(wtfockdown didn’t give me anything related to it, I know you don’t have to tell me, I’m very sad about it okay)

Is it likely that it’s all for nothing and it’s probably something stupid like they met at camp or something because we might not ever get an Even or Vilde season since they’re both blocked characters (considering the lengths that Skam France had to go through to include Eliott and Daphné as major supporting characters to someone else’s season)? Probably. 

But, it’s fun and I like theorizing on what this possible connection might be so what’s the harm in it?

(and I don’t care that this probably doesn’t even make sense) 

[iphisesque]

female best friend group in tv series: noor,a my beloved pal,, are you mayhaps,,,, a less bien

female best friend group irl: omg marta you huge fucking dyke i saw a trash can on the street and thought of you

[thegreatallanquatermain]

Sechs, Drugs, and Rock ‘n Roll, Chapter 3 - Pile onto the Party Bus

With the end of week two, came an end of my lessons with Selini. To commemorate all of our lessons where she would generally yell near us, while simultaneously telling me to stop asking so many goddamn questions, she gave everyone personalised postcards. While Princess got a card saying something like “Celebrate being unique,” I got “Stars can’t shine without darkness.” What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Was I really so bad I made others look good? I feel like this was payback for going out drinking with her, only to sit awkwardly in a corner all night. At least she also gave everyone a paperclip. I shall cherish it dearly.

The weekend promised to be epic. A three-day trip to Strasbourg, in France. To get there, the entire ISU was going to share two busses, and travel several hours into another foreign nation. While piling into the massive vehicles, someone in our group mentioned that we should get on the bus furthest away from us, because the rest of the plebs were going to get on the first bus they saw. They weren’t wrong, and the next thing we knew, we were on a bus with almost no people. This, my friends, was the birth of The Party Bus.

In this newly formed adventure mobile, we had our beloved driver, Klaus, as well as a few of other staff members in the front. Also in the front, we have Jan, the tech enthusiast who helped most of the students of the ISU connect to the internet. When we first met, Jan and I discussed how hard it was for most non-Europeans to pronounce Jan as “Yaan”, but rather as Jan. Apparently, he has often had to resort to going by Ian to not confuse anyone. Well, dear readers, I don’t want to confuse you. Ian sat near the front, but even though he was a student, also played a second role as our baby-sitter, making sure we always on the right track. In the middle of the bus we had our band of usual suspects, the core of the party bus, as well as our friend Mother Noor. Noor is a beautiful Palestinian woman, who is always looking after everyone. I selfishly excluded her from my previous posts, even though she has cooked for me on many occasions. In the very back of the bus there was a group of American students having their own good time. The party bus was ready, and off we embarked. Boy Virgin was especially enthused to start the party. That is until she immediately fell asleep. I can’t really complain, because I did the same thing. PARTY BUS!

Most of our time in Strasbourg was spent either in our rooms, or while wondering around the city. Shortly after arriving, we all headed off on a walking tour of Strasbourg where we had the opportunity see such amazing sights such as a river, a bridge, a different part of the same river, and a gigantic chapel, touted as the tallest medieval building in the world. For some reason, it was decided that after spending over an hour walking around the streets, it was now the perfect time to climb up the chapel to the viewing platform to see the majesty of the city. We were expecting a short climb, having heard it would be a mere 32 steps to our destination. There seemed to have been a slight mistranslation, because we failed to hear about the three hundred in front of the smaller number of steps, each one moving sharply upwards in a seemingly never-ending spiral. Finally, we reached the end of the stairs, leading through a short alley way. Here, then, at the end of the alley we were greeted to yet another hell-spiral of murder-stairs. When we did eventually reach the top, there really was an amazing panoramic view of the entire city. We didn’t see any of it, obviously, because we were too busy wheezing and crying about our mild discomfort. How medieval monks were able to climb the stairs every day for hundreds of years boggles the mind. They must have had some pretty toned glutes.

In the evening, we all came back on the bus, dropping us off at our home for the rest of the weekend, Château de Pourtalès. I was sharing a room on the top floor with Slim Shady and our new Chinese friend, Yang. On the other end of our corridor was the room with Mother Noor and Boy Virgin. This made it the ideal location for our continued parties for the rest of the weekend. That was, until Yang decided he was going to be hygienic, and bathe in the shower in our room. He noticed the shower was not draining, and called Ian for help. Ian accepted the challenge, and charged into the bathroom, plunger in tow. After a few minutes of sloshing noises, and a constant string of “Oh god, what is that!?” and “Jesus, the smell!” accompanied by guttural gagging noises, the door was sealed, and we were advised to keep it closed. We were moved the next morning to a smaller room in a different building. So much for the Party Floor.

The next day involved everyone piling into the Party Bus, and driving into the mountains. Here we were confronted by the horrors of Natzweiler-Struthof, a Nazi concentration camp. Next, we continued to Mont Sainte-Odile, which was described as a monastery full of nuns. I don’t think the individual describing our new location fully understands the difference between a nunnery and a monastery, but I think I could just be vocally getting into the semantics to further distance this paragraph from the previously mentioned concentration camp. Most of the grounds of the monastery (there were no nuns, and seemingly only one very grumpy monk), were covered in signs requesting silence. Unfortunately for them, they were being visited by Boy Virgin, one of the loudest women any human will ever encounter. Even her whispers could be heard throughout the mountains. We abruptly retreated to a bar, where we decided to pre-game for the upcoming winery. This winery was supposedly going to involve a wine tasting, which I learnt means something a little different in France and Australia. In Australia, you get a small sip of wine and spittoon facilities in case you need to drive home. In France, you get six full glasses of wine, a slice of cake, and an hour time limit. Everyone left quite merry, and utterly blasted.

Back at the Château, we prepared for our final evening in France. The Party Bus crew, or Party Bus for prosperity, piled into our newly acquired room, much to Yang’s dismay. Saskatoon Pirate supplied a bottle of vodka, Princess provided video games, Mother Noor was teaching everyone to belly dance, and Yang was going to quickly pop out to grab some orange juice to mix with the spirits. He did not return for many hours, choosing his four girlfriends over us, and when he did there was no orange juice. No problem, because the rest of just partied without him. At one point, I had five girls in my bed. Yeah, I know, that’s pretty Alpha of me. That is until you realised that they kicked me out of my own bed, and I had to sit on a small chair, slowly nursing my vodka.

The next day, it was time for us to go home. After checking out, and taking our first group photo, we made our way to the European Parliament building. We took another group photo, entered the building, lined up for yet another group photo, and started our tour. I don’t have too much to say about the parliament building, because I can say without hyperbole that I was asleep for most of my visit there. The only time I definitely remember being awake, was when we were taking more group photos. Or when Boy Virgin, Awesome, and I were playing “Smash or Pass” with the images of European Parliamentarians.

Back on the bus, we returned for a final time to the city centre. We had a short time to find some lunch, before we were going to go walk across a bridge. Ian lead us to a French restaurant, where we could have a traditional French lunch. Then we ate at a kebab shop instead. On the way back to the Bus, Dynamo and I stopped to stock up on party related supplies (booze), to prepare to Party Bus our way back home. However, after thirty minutes of waiting on the bus, we weren’t leaving. It turns out, Yang and his girl friends had gone shopping, and they decided to only return when it suited them. Our extended delay meant we would not have time for the bridge, unfortunately, so we just continued back home. Ian and the teachers in the front were pulling beers out of a hidden ice-box, we were mixing spirits with some orange juice, and the Americans in the back were indulging in some wine. The only time we stopped on the trip back, every group restocked on their dwindling supplies. Awesome and I thought we were being cool buying one litre cans of Danish beer (which turned out be near undrinkable), but we were put to shame by the Americans, who purchased and demolished an entire bottle of vodka in just over an hour. PARTY BUS!

[depressionisaknife]

I'm so fucking sorry you all have to even read this. I remember when I was 8. I read one of these letters of suicide her name was Amora. She was so fucking innocent. Everyone adored her. I don't even know why she choose go hang out with some one like me. Our families were close. They were one of the only family friends we had. So it makes sense we should hang out when they drop her off at my house or vice versa. And there were times when we hid under her or my own bed because both of our parents fought. We never had a safe haven. We both never had a home. But we put on brave faces. Never showed anyone any of our pain. Because its so much more easier to put on a smile then explain why were so sad. We cling onto each other at recess and lunch because we were so scared of breaking down. I never broke. She had it worse back then. Her own father raped her. She only told me this later on. I hated it. But one day she handed me a letter we were on a public bridge. The waters were so fierce Pushing the rocks down for a couple of seconds. We just stood silently next to each other. By the time she wandered off. It was too late for me to notice and when she was about to jump I jumped for her. And she let her mask fall. She said words I'd never forget.( not mentioning ) then in her letter there was a part dedicated to me. I have it till this day it went- "masks are to be held and kept only on our weakest time must we let them fall. Never forget. This world is cruel trust no one. Smile and act are our daily lives. Don't ever let anyone tell you how to make decisions on your life. They won't understand what its like to be us. They will give you false hope. Never let that happen. Noor I know you would love to come with me. But you can't because the world needs your light. You are what kept me here the longest. I'm sorry life is so messed up. I am. I wish we could have done this together but you need to be herd your still needed. " I screamed when she jumped. It wasn't your 'No!'scream no it was your painful screeching scream when where the person gave up. Where you could clearly hear pain. Not Ahhh but more like a screech. Where every head turned towards you. I'm sorry I'm holding 18 pills. I'm sorry you hate me. I am so sorry I am such a horrible friend. I think the world is cruel like Amora said. So it gave me you guys my false hope. This is where I sign off.But first I want to say this- I love our family name vegan biscuits with egg and milk... I love you all so much. Never forget to stay together. Stick together. And remember the first words you heard from my mouth Kate? " wanna be friends?" I asked you Liora, Jasmine and Eunice this question. It was how we all came to be I think? Honestly I'm happy Nikki joined our little family. She was such a great addition. I love you all. But of you guys wanna know more. Dianas letter contains more info. So I give you permission to read it. Lots of Love beloved Noor.  And Maedbh? YOU WILL GET BETTER. my last wish- for Maedbh to get better.

Chapter 7