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#nope i’m doing homework pretty much every day and it’s tiresome
weirdgrrlgerard · 7 months
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a time loop already exists and it’s called college
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whatdidijustwrite · 7 years
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A Long Way to Go: Damien 1
Synopsis: MC reaches out across the web to find someone to talk to about Alex and how much he misses her while he struggles to raise his eldest daughter. He finds it in a single dad living in his old hometown of Maple Bay…
Damien had started using DadChat when he found out there was a group of transgender fathers on the forums. They all traded tales and tricks, about how dealing with their kids and the awful misgendering that could come about. It was a nice place- the admin of the site removing posts within the forums hating on certain individuals and offering safety.
He rarely went into the general forums- that place was full of people he found tiresome, but sometimes he glanced through. After helping a father learn how to help his gothic daughter in her life, he’d felt amazing and happy. He’d even kept up the correspondence with the man, helping him again when the man learned he had two daughters, instead of the son and daughter he thought he had. It felt good, to be able to help someone.
Looking through the newest posts- more divorce issues, a few people worrying over how to help their children accept their new siblings, not to much.
However, one post caught his eye. A short post from a man named PandaFather (probably the nickname of his daughter) about how to help his daughter after the death of his wife. Reading it, Damien took a moment to think.
He… wanted to help. But he wasn’t sure how. Lucien had been the product of a one night stand, never a mistake but certainly a surprise. And the various suitors he’d had since had never really stuck around long enough for a relationship with Lucien to form- beyond the typical ‘oh, dad’s boyfriend’.
He did understand worry over his child bottling up feelings to make things better for himself though. He understood that very well.
After a minute, he opened up the reply box.
PandaFather,
I’d like to extend my deepest condolences for your loss. Death is the next step of life, but it is never an easy thing to deal with.
I will admit I have never had a partner pass, but I have had to face a child who hides his true feelings as to not upset me. My advice for you is to speak with your daughter, and openly tell her it is okay to cry. It is okay to feel angry, bitter, hurt or however she is feeling. It is okay, and you are there to help her with her feelings. If she does not want to hurt you, tell her it is your deepest pleasure to help her through her pain.
If she still refuses to cry, suggest other outlets. My son uses home renovation for his own outlet (thoroughly supervised of course). Journaling, dancing, singing- any of this could help her with her feelings.
-GothDad123
-0-
M.C. looked over the response from the other father, thinking on it.
It… well, it was what he’d known before. He needed to talk to Amanda, but the suggestion of finding outlets if she needed them had never fully occurred to him until the guy had responded to him.
She loved her photography… but maybe something else to? He wasn’t sure about the home reno stuff- Amanda broke stuff, she didn’t build it up. Nope.
But…
“Hey dad,” a soft voice called out. M.C. turned to see Amanda standing there, looking as tired as ever. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m…” M.C. began but stopped, before reaching out. “Can you come here for a second?” Amanda frowned, but padded forward, letting her dad pull her into his lap in a hug. “It’s okay to cry.”
“..What?”
“It’s okay to cry, to scream, to be… angry. To be bitter about it. You don’t need to hide, okay?” M.C. told her. “You don’t need to be strong for me, you’re my daughter. I want to be here for you.”
Amanda’s breath hitched, and she buried her face into his shoulder. She hugged him tightly. M.C. didn’t mention the wet spot that was forming on his shirt, simply held her tightly.
If a few of his own tears slid down his face, he didn’t mention it.
-0-
Damien was busy with some work when a notification popped up for DadChat. Figuring it was a friend or so replying to his latest complaint about the teacher at Lucien’s school who was constantly trying to get him into therapy because he wore all black, he clicked on it.
GothDad123,
Thank you for your advice. My daughter is doing better now, and we’re… coping I guess. I suggested your idea of something to funnel her emotions to (she was shocked I somehow knew how to use forums, like it wasn’t around back when I was in college). She loves photography but she doesn’t want that to be her outlet, so she’s running off to try a few things.
Thank you again. My wife used to be big into DIY herself, here’s a link to a pretty simple project if you think your son might need a new project.
-PandaFather
Damien smiled at the reply, clicking on the link to find a lovely project on creating a set of patio furniture with pallets or crates.
Damien hummed, thinking of it in the house, with it’s Victorian style. Perhaps in the garden?
However, he did type out a response to PandaFather first, glad he’d helped.
-0-
M.C. didn’t notice his email until after the trip to the music store, which resulted in the buying of a simple keyboard for Amanda. Alex had taught her the basics of piano, but Amanda had liked photography more, so it fell to the wayside.
However, she liked the idea of picking it up again, so they went to get one.
She was already plunking away on the half-remembered songs she’d been taught when M.C. checked his email.
PandaFather,
You are most welcome for the advice. I am pleased you and your daughter have reconnected. I hope she finds a new outlet, one that brings her joy.
I thank you for your link to the patio furniture. I believe my son will have fun putting this together.
-GothDad123
Edited: My son wishes to thank you. He’s gotten bored apparently simply doing simple things, and is eager for a big project.
M.C. chuckled and typed out a new response, sending it to GothDad123 without much thought, before he started up some paperwork.
-0-
GothDad123,
Tell him he’s welcome! My wife would get so bored doing the simple things. Before her death, we were thinking about moving to a rundown house in the town I grew up in, just so she could rip it all apart and make something new. My daughter was really excited, wanted to get out of our town after some things happened.
She’s picked up piano actually- my wife had been a piano teacher for most of her life and while my daughter never actually learned more then the basics, it was special for them.
Thank you once more for your advice.
-PandaFather
Damien smiled at the reply, though he waited to reply back, Lucien roping him into helping sand down the pallets Damien had brought home from the animal shelter (after cleaning them thoroughly of course). Then Lucien began painting them- black- and Damien typed up his new response.
PandaFather,
The piano is a lovely instrument. I’m thrilled she has taken an interest in it once more. Is she particularly inspired by the classics? Or does she wish to learn more modern songs?
I wish to ask how you are yourself. You obviously miss your wife very much. Have you yourself gotten help? I understand this is a subject you might not wish to touch upon but I also know that resisting help can have disastrous effects later on.
If you find it easier to speak of your wife to me, an unknown, I am willing to continue to do so with you. It is sometimes easier to hear from a stranger then anyone else.
-GothDad123
Sending it off, Damien turned back to Lucien who was asking about what kind of cushions they should use for the furniture.
Never a dull day with his son.
-0-
 “I’m gonna pop some tags,” Amanda sang, playing along with the piano. M.C. chuckled, rolling his eyes as Amanda attempted to learn how to play Thrift Shop on the piano, looking way to thrilled. For the past week she’d spent every second she wasn’t taking photos, at school or doing homework with her keyboard. She’d gotten good quick, something M.C. tacked up as her mother’s influence.
M.C. bit his lip, wondering if he should try to get her out and about more. He knew that the thing with the Emmas had hurt her really bad. That had not been fun. Alex had been furious and had forced Emma R. (or was it P?) to admit she’d been alienating Amanda on purpose for some reason. The other kids had been horrified, but the damage had been bad enough that Amanda was isolated from everyone out of choice. It had been the reason they were considering Maple Bay.
Sighing, M.C. turned to his email, eyeing the reply he’d been sitting on for a week.
It had been a mix of being to damn busy and simply unable to admit the guy was probably right. He missed Alex so much, but trying to get professional help had not helped whatsoever. He couldn’t risk another asshole therapist.
But… maybe…
Maybe a stranger would help.
That’s it for this one! I hope you guys enjoyed this!
I did decide to make multiple ‘routes’ for the Long Distance AU. Damien, as you can see, is first because I recently played his route.
I’m debating about having this an AU (even more so) in which Craig did not in fact go to college with M.C. or have it so they don’t know it’s each other for a long time for the lols. Any ideas?
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tosybelle-blog · 7 years
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By and Hay’s Excellent Adventure--Part I
Haley Braddock is pretty much my best friend. Well, let me rephrase that. Haley Braddock is pretty much my only friend.
Oh, sure, I count my own brothers as friends, but that’s mostly by default. We shared a womb, so we’ve always liked to spend a lot of time together. But these days, they’ve grown kinda tiresome. They only talk about two things: 1) girls and 2) how they’re going to get into those same girls’ pants. Gets pretty boring after a while, especially since neither one of them is getting anywhere with the second.
And I do have other friends. It’s just that they’re mostly Adam and Jordan’s friends, and that I’m only on their friends lists because we’re a trio. If Robby or Shane or Dan were to list their friends, with their best friends at the top, they’d list Jordan and Adam near the top somewhere. Then they’d get to the end of the list, and go, “Oh, yeah, and Byron, I guess.” In other words, when they call the house, they’ll ask for one of my brothers and then maybe invite me along on whatever shenanigan they’re planning to pull, but they never ask to speak to me.
But Haley is different. And I don’t just mean because she’s a girl. I know lots of girls, and I’m related to quite a few of them. Hay is about the only girl I’m not related to that I feel totally comfortable with. We get together three, four times a week. We tell each other pretty much everything. It’s really nice to have a confidant who doesn’t judge and doesn’t turn around and tell everyone else in your family.
One day a couple weeks before spring break, I was hanging out in Hay’s room again. We always go to the Braddocks because 1) there are fewer people there, so it’s quieter, and 2) her parents trust us enough to let us hang out in her room with the door closed. There aren’t many rules at my house, but one of them is pretty simple. No sex, no drugs, no alcohol, no tobacco...in the house. Mom and Dad know they can’t control what we do all together, so they’ve resigned themselves to just restricting any signs of it in the home where it could corrupt younger sibs. So even though Hay and I aren’t doing anything we couldn’t do in the rec room surrounded by a couple brothers and sisters, we aren’t allowed to be alone anywhere in the house. Because Hay’s parents were smart enough not to have a whole mess of kids, they are better able to monitor their kids’ relationships. So they know it’s safe to leave us alone. Hay and I are pretty standard nerd straight arrow goody-goodies. Neither one of us has ever tried pot or anything stronger, and we’ve never had enough alcohol at once to make us more than buzzed. We’ve never even smoked a cigarette. And since we tell each other a lot, I know that she’s never made it past first base with a boy. Nope. Hay and I were not doing anything in her bedroom that wouldn’t pass my parents’ test.
Mostly we just sit around, do our homework, and talk. About school, about our goals, about stupid shit. She spends a lot of time complaining about her little brother Matt. At this point, he had just turned fifteen and thought he was God’s gift to women—or at least, teenaged girls. He was like all three of my brothers combined, at least in Hay’s eyes. So I got to hear all about what he was up to now. How he lorded his social life over her. How much time he spent hogging the bathroom. Other general complaints about how badly it sucks to have younger siblings. She tells me because she knows I can relate.
I couldn’t even tell you what exactly she was complaining about this day. I know, I should pay better attention, right? If you’d asked me right after the conversation, I could have told you. But it’s not so important any more. So forgive me.
In any case, when Hay was done with her complaint, she turned to me. We were sitting back to back on her bed, so she basically turned her head over my shoulder so her mouth was right next to my ear. “By,” she said, throwing aside the textbook she’d been half- heartedly “studying” while bitching about Matt, “How come you never complain about your brothers and sisters? I’ve only got one and I complain all the time. You’ve got seven and I never hear you whine about them at all.”
I shrugged, feeling her whole body move up and down with the movement. She was putting pretty much all of her weight on my back. “I dunno,” I added unnecessarily, giving myself time to think about it. “I guess that they’re all so annoying all the time that that would be all I ever talked about if I told you how they were. I would totally annoy the shit out of you.”
She laughed and turned back around, jostling me with her other shoulder—completely on purpose, mind you—as she did. “Like you don’t already?” Hay picked up her math book and opened it to her current assignment, but she didn’t pick up her notebook or pencil. Hay always plays with her homework for at least half an hour before she starts it. “Do me a favor. Make me feel more normal. Tell me one obnoxious thing one of your brothers or sisters has done recently. Something that just totally pissed you off. What is the most annoying thing a Pike kid has done in the past week?”
I threw aside my novel, knowing I couldn’t get any further with my reading assignment until she got what she wanted. But I also know I couldn’t actually answer her last question. I knew instantly what the most annoying thing my brothers had done recently was. I’d come home from Hay’s house two days before and come up the stairs. I’d stayed for dinner, so it was later than usual and dark when I got home. When I walked past Jordan and Adam’s bedroom, two voices yelled and a hand yanked me into the room.
“Hey!” I’d shouted, but within seconds both of my brothers were on top of me, fake beating me senseless. This is how they show love, so I’d ignored it and fought my way out of the pile. With my back to them, I’d shaken myself off and silently cursed them.
“Where the hell have you been?” Adam had asked me. I’d just shrugged, not yet turning around. Despite the fact that they were only playing, they’d managed to split my lip.
Even with him on my other side, I could feel Jordan giving me stinkeye. “Robby called and wanted us to come over and play some football. We’d promised to come by as soon as you came home. But you took your sweet-ass time getting home and now it’s too late.”
I wiped a bit of blood off my lip and finally faced them. “I was with Haley. Dinner, you know...” I’d let the sentence trail off. Adam and Jordan had looked at each other. Adam’s irritation subsided and he began to grin.
“Awwwright Byron!” Adam slapped me on the back. “Pussy!” He grabbed my arm and made like he was going to twist it behind my back.
I didn’t correct him. I didn’t point out that the closest I’d ever gotten to “pussy” at Haley’s house was when the Braddock cat sat in my lap. I had tried that at first, and Jordan and Adam had just taken every denial as a sign that they were right. So I’d given up. And honestly, letting them think I was getting something they weren’t gave me a little leg up on them. Very little, but still.
But I definitely couldn’t tell Haley that story. Like I said, I tell her almost everything. Even so, a guy, even a best friend, needs some mystery about him.
(Oh, and for the record, my brothers aren’t always complete fuckwits. Just most of the time.)
I snapped back to Haley’s room. No, I wasn’t going to tell that one to her. But because, you know, I have so many brothers and sisters, I definitely had another story to tell.
I shifted again. “Um, well, okay. You know how Nick and I have an agreement, right? The private time agreement?” She nodded, still facing the other way. I felt her neck muscles move between her shoulders. “The private time agreement” was something that Nick and I had come up with when we’d agreed to share a room some seven years ago. Originally, it was to allow us each some peace and quiet in a household where those things don’t really exist. Then we’d hit puberty and it had, uh, taken on a different purpose. “Well, Nick usually takes his time while I’m here. Easy, right? So I always tell him when I’m coming over so he knows when he’s free to use the room.”
“So remember late last week when you forgot you had a dentist appointment and I ended up going straight home instead of helping you with your Macbeth essay?” I didn’t wait for her to answer. “I went to my room and knocked. But I guess I didn’t give Nick enough time to answer. So I went in and there he was on the bed...”
Hay snickered. “Jacking off?” she finished the sentence.
It was my turn to look over my shoulder. “Yup. But that’s not the worst part.” I felt her silently laughing as I continued the story. “He pretended like nothing was going on, pulled his shirt down over his, uh, you know, and left the room. Probably to the bathroom to finish. But he left behind his, um, stimulation material, I guess you could say. And you’ll never guess what it was. Some kinda, uh, catalog.”
“Victoria’s Secret?”
“Oh, hell, no, Hay. Way worse. I guess catalog isn’t the right word. It was one of those ads you get in the Sunday paper. I think it was a Wal-Mart ad. Ladies in granny panties and full figured bras.”
“Dude, Byron. I said annoying, not disgusting!” For the first time in about an hour, she finally moved off my back. She stretched out across the bed and rolled with laughter. Hay has two types of laughs—a mildly amused laugh, which is loud and you can hear from the other side of the house, and a really happy laugh, which is silent and makes her whole body shake. The latter was what she was doing now, and tears were rolling down her face. “Oh, my God,” she said, when she got her shit back together and was able to speak again. “We need to get the hell out of this town for a while.”
I had picked my novel back up and turned my back toward the wall while she was calming down. I was hoping to finish the chapter before she started begging for more embarrassing stories about my sibs. Even this new direction in the conversation wasn’t going to prevent me from my assignment. “Hmm,” I said, a noncommittal response, hoping to head her off before she really picked up steam. Sometimes, Haley can really get off on wild ideas and tangents.
“No, By, I’m serious.” She sat up and turned to me, folding her feet up under her and trying her best to look serious as well. “I’ve had my driver’s license for almost three months now. And you’ve had yours for, like, a year. We never get to really go anywhere or do anything though. You think we could go on a road trip? Spring break?” I still didn’t respond, so she leaned forward a bit and waved her hand in my face. I blinked but didn’t dignify it with any other response. “I could even try to get...the car.”
“The car” is actually Haley’s car. Her parents had given it to her on her seventeenth birthday, when she passed her driver’s test. It’s a really nice used car, a much nicer ride than just about anyone we know drives. Problem is, because the car is so nice, Hay’s parents are almost scared to let her drive it. Even though she’s a really good driver, they’re afraid that she’ll crash it. I think I can count on one hand how many times I’ve gotten a ride from her, and I’ve been in the car almost every time she’s been behind the wheel.
“Oh, the car, huh? Good luck.” Sarcasm oozed in the statement.
She shoved me with both hands and laughed a short, loud laugh. “Come on, dude. Think about it. We’d have a whole week to drive and wander and discover something new. We could go anywhere! The beach, the mountains, you name it.”
Okay. She’d distracted me from my reading, but I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of knowing that right off. Why couldn’t we go on a road trip? Mom and Dad had let Adam and Jordan take off with our car last summer for a week. And Hay’s parents are pretty cool about stuff like that. I would have been really fun to drive somewhere, just the two of us. We’d never really gone anywhere on our own, without a whole passel of friends or siblings around.
“A road trip? Huh. I’ll ask my parents,” I said nonchalantly over my book, not lifting my eyes off the pages.
Haley shrieked and hugged me, squeezing my arms up by my side and bringing the book closer to my face. “Great! Ask them tonight, and I’ll ask mine.” She let me go, her eyes sweeping over the room and settling on her math book. She lifted the text, found her assignment again, pulled her notebook and a pencil out of her school bag and settled down to do her homework. I flipped a page in my book, satisfied that I would actually be able to finish the reading before I went home.
We worked silently for a few minutes. Suddenly Hay lowered her pencil and began looking at me. Through the corner of my eye, I could see a mischievous glint to her gaze. “What,” I said. It wasn’t really a question.
“Soo....stimulation material. I heard about Nick’s. What do you use?”
I didn’t answer, really. I just shifted the book to one hand and flicked her off with the other.
“Okay, never mind then. Next time I’m in your room, I’ll just look under your mattress.”
I turned a page in the book and looked at her over the top. “I’m too smart to leave it under the mattress,” was all I said.
***
I love my parents, but sometimes I think they are the most unreasonable people on earth. I’d waited to talk to them about Haley’s idea until after dinner. Generally, my siblings sort of scatter after dinner. Someone’s usually out on a date, or with friends, and most of the rest of them head upstairs to do homework or downstairs to watch something on television. It’s the best time to talk to Mom and Dad about anything serious, especially if you volunteer to help with the dishes. Mom always appreciates the help, but they know right off you’re about to ask for something. So, it’s not always ideal if you want to spring something on them you don’t think they’ll go for. But I didn’t think this was a request they’d say no to, so I just went for it.
I was putting away the last of the dishes while Mom and Dad sat down with cups of coffee. When the last plate was back in its home, I turned around. My parents were facing the other way, but I saw them glance at each other. “Byron,” Mom said after a moment of me trying to figure out how to begin, “if you’ve got something you want to ask permission for, get it over with so you can get out of here and give your dad and me some private time.”
Okay. That put me more at ease. I grabbed a cola out of the fridge and sat down next to them. “Um, so you know spring break is coming up, right?” Suave, genius. Mom and Dad just looked at me. I opened the cola can. “Well, Haley and I were talking. We wanted to have an adventure this year. Now that we both have our driver’s licenses, we were hoping to take a road trip. Leave on Sunday and come back Saturday, so that we have plenty of time to work on homework and catch up on our sleep before we go back to school.” Now Hay and I hadn’t talked about the last part, but it made sense, and I thought my parents would be more likely to go for it if they could tell we were being our regular, responsible selves.
I saw Mom and Dad look at each other again, but this time I was looking at them face on, and I didn’t really like what I saw. The two of them have this habit of having whole conversations with their eyes, without having to say a word. Since I’m the ‘quiet, observant one,’ I’d long since come to study and translate large chunks of this secret language of theirs. And most of what I was seeing was negative.
“Byron,” Dad said, sounding like he was trying really hard not to sigh, “Sorry. I don’t like the idea of you and Haley alone in a car. Especially not for a whole week.” He took a sip of coffee, like that was the end of the conversation.
I tried my hardest not to break straight into whining. “Why not?”
Mom looked at Dad for a second, and when he took another sip of coffee, she answered. “Sweetie, you are a boy. Haley is a girl. You’re teenagers with crazy, mixed up emotions and hormones. Just not a good idea.”
I sighed. “Mom. I can assure you, nothing like that will ever go on between me and Haley. She’s my best friend, not my girlfriend. We’ve hung out together just about every day for the past three years, and I’ve never even kissed her.”
Mom raised her cup and took a drink. Why do they always start with the coffee just when I want them to say something? “Come on, Mom. Dad. I’ve never been a problem. I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs. And I certainly don’t have sex with Haley. The worst thing you could say about us is that when we get together, we curse like sailors.” Mom raised her eyebrows, but didn’t say anything. “You know you can trust me, right? I’m a good kid.” And it was true. Since I’d hit high school, I hadn’t been grounded once, nor had I had a detention. I was mostly in honors classes at school and I was in the top five percent of my class. I’d gotten an early acceptance to college sometime back and was on the path to higher academic success. I was good with my younger brothers and sisters, and for the most part we got along.
Another eye conversation started as both Mom and Dad took another drink from their coffee. These mugs were starting to seem endless. Just when I was about to give up and tell Hay the plan was off, Dad put his mug down. The sound it made indicated it was empty. “Okay, Byron, you make a valid point. I have no reason not to trust you...yet. Despite that, I still stand behind my original statement. I don’t like you and Haley alone in a car for the week. However...if you were to find another person, and all three of you went together, I’ll give you permission. Pending the approval of the Braddocks and the other kid’s parents, that is.”
I jumped out of my seat. “You mean it?” I asked.
Mom nodded. “Of course. We let Adam and Jordan go off last summer with a couple of guys, didn’t we? If you can put together a trio that we approve of, there’s no reason you can’t do the same.” The front door slammed shut and Adam and Jordan, who had been out with some guys, were back home. Mom raised her voice so that the newcomers could hear her. “And unlike all the other teenage drivers in the family, you have yet to get a ticket or hit something.”
“Aww, Mom,” Jordan said, coming into the kitchen to scam some leftovers, “I still maintain that cop was all wrong when he gave me that ticket. I was doing the speed limit, I swear.”
Mom turned in her seat as Adam followed Jordan to the fridge. “Jordan. You were given a ticket for doing fifty in a thirty-five zone. No radar machine, or cop’s eye, is going to be that far off.”
Adam pulled a cold chicken leg out of the fridge and bit straight off of it as Jordan scowled. “Why did this topic even come up?” Adam asked, his mouth full.
Dad got out of his chair and closed the wide-open fridge. Adam was holding the whole plate of leftover chicken by this point, and Jordan had the makings of salami sandwich, except the bread, which he grabbed from the counter top. Dad shook his head. “Weren’t you guys just out for pizza? And didn’t you have huge snacks just before that, right when I was coming home?” He didn’t wait for an answer to his own question, but instead turned toward me. “So. This road trip. I assume you’ll be needing the car.”
In our family, “the car” is a battered old piece of shit Honda Civic that feels like it’s as old as I am. My parents bought it when my oldest sister Mallory turned seventeen, and it’s meant to be shared by all the teenaged Pikes. Right then, with Mal off at college and my sister Vanessa not turning seventeen for another three months, it was a car that Adam, Jordan and I shared. Most of the time, one of them drove it, simply because they had more social engagements than I did. We had to schedule carefully over the summer, when anyone sixteen or older in the family was required to hold a job. Most of the time last summer, I had just walked to work. It was easier than fighting with my brothers, who could beat me up, or Mal, who could turn on the waterworks.
“Wait. What?” Jordan put down the slice of bread he had been lovingly slathering with mustard. Adam, his mouth now totally full of chicken, knew better than to say something right away. He’s choked more than a few times trying to talk with that much food in his mouth. But he shot me a death glare.
I ignored them both and turned to Dad. “Well, Hay’s trying to get her parents to let her take her car, but I doubt they will. So if you’re okay with it, yeah, I’ll need the car.”
“No way. Uh-uh. Totally unfair.” Adam had managed to swallow his chicken. He turned away from me, toward Mom and then to Dad, who was still standing by the fridge. “He’s taking the car for spring break? For a road trip?”
“Yeah, that’s crazy!” Jordan chimed in. “What if one of us wants to use the car then? Like what if I have a hot date with Danielle and need the car?” Adam snickered, and I had to try really hard not to do the same. Danielle is this old friend of Vanessa’s, and Jordan’s been trying to get her to out with him since she was about thirteen. She’s been telling him ‘no’ for just as long.
Mom sighed, good naturedly. “Then you’ll just tell Danielle the same thing you would tell her if Byron had the car just for the evening. Either reschedule, walk, or your dad or I will drive you.” Both Adam and Jordan groaned. “It’s the same thing that Byron had to do, and Mallory too, when you two took the car last summer.” Mom stood up and glanced at Dad, and all three of us triplets knew the conversation was over. “Make sure you two clean up your dishes tonight—Byron already did the dinner dishes and I don’t want to find any in the sink in the morning. Good night.”
Adam and Jordan turned on me darkly. I tried to smile at them, but it didn’t last long. “It’s the same thing Byron had to do when you two took the car last summer,” Adam repeated, raising his voice so that he was making a terrible parody of Mom.
Jordan glanced at him briefly and turned back to me. “Yeah, but you know that Byron couldn’t get a date with Danielle if he wanted one.”
I picked my forgotten can of cola off the table and took a swig. Suddenly, I understood why Mom and Dad do that with their coffee. It keeps them for blurting out the first thing that comes into their heads.
It didn’t work for me. “Yeah, and neither could you, and you want one.”
I have never run from the kitchen so fast in my whole life.
***
Once I managed to get free from Adam and Jordan, I found a cordless phone and went to my room. Nick was in there, doing his homework...or actually, staring off into space and ignoring his homework. I touched him on the shoulder. “Nick. Nick. Earth to Nick.”
He slowly shook his head and returned to normal. “What?” he said, instantly irritated that I had interrupted his “studies.”
I held the phone out and pointed to it. “Will it bother you if I make a phone call?”
“Yes.”
I scowled a little bit, but stepped back out into the hallway. My two youngest sisters were having an argument in the room they share with Vanessa. Even with the door closed, I could tell exactly what it was about, and I had no doubt that Haley would be able to hear it too. I ducked down the hallway further. Mom and Dad’s room door was closed. Adam was in his room, and he was one of the last people I wanted to see at that moment. (Bet you can’t guess who the other one, who was downstairs watching television, was.) Finally, I went into the bathroom and locked the door behind me. It was a little too early for anyone to be getting ready for bed, but I still probably wouldn’t have too much time. I dialed Hay’s number from memory. Her father answered, recognizing my voice, and got Hay right away.
“Hello!” She sounded fairly excited. Hopeful, I think.
“Hello, yourself. So how did it go?”
“Fifty-fifty. Mom said I could go, but she said I couldn’t take the car.” Surprise, surprise. No biggie, though. Byron to the rescue.
“Don’t worry about it. Not only did I get permission, we also get to take the Pike-mobile.”
A long, incomprehensible shriek came from the other end of the phone. I held it away from ear until I was sure she was good and done. Because of this, I missed a fair chunk of what she was saying.
“...and we are just going to have the best time ever!”
“Whoa, slow down Hay. There’s just one catch.”
She sure sobered up fast. “What?”
“We have to find a third person to come with us.”
There was a pause on the other end of the line, and then she repeated her last statement. “What?”
I started fiddling with things on the counter nervously while I spoke. Makeup. Zit cream. “My dad has this thing about teenage hormones. I guess he figures the only way to prevent us from doing something that could cause you to come home pregnant is make sure we have a chaperone.”
She giggled. “Us? Really?”
“Yeah. Crazy, huh?” Wow. This seemed a lot more amusing to her than it did to me. What was going on here? “Listen, Hay, I have to run. But think about someone we could invite along who would be safe. I’ll see you in school tomorrow.”
“I’ll think about it all night. Night, By.”
“Night.”
***
I’m not a morning person. I’m usually the last one out the door in the morning. Sometimes, my brothers threaten to leave me behind and make me walk. I always let them drive in the morning. I’m sure by now you’re guessing that the reason that I haven’t had any problems driving yet is because I almost never get to drive. It’s a factor, I’m sure. But there’s also the fact that I don’t do things like drive fifteen miles over the speed limit (Jordan) or park in no parking zones (Mal) or drive with my head out the window, yelling at “the ladies” (Adam).
In any case, I was half asleep when I got to my locker. I was still fumbling with the lock when a bouncing, squealing figure zoomed up behind me. I didn’t even have to turn around to know who it was. “Hey, Haley,” I said while yawning.
“Morning, By! Guess what? I came up with the perfect person to come on our trip. Even though I’m really sad that it’s not going to be Hay and By’s Excellent Adventure....” she faded out and looked at me impatiently. “Oh, for shit’s sake, Byron! Give me that!” She yanked the lock out of my hand and unlocked it for me.
I looked at her, feeling the sleepiness leave my body. “Should I be concerned that you know my locker combo?” I teased.
“Focus, dude. Talk about spring break now. Worry about me digging through your school books and dirty gym socks later.”
I put my backpack away and took out my calculus book and notebook. Haley shifted her school bag from one shoulder to the other in a very impatient manner. Sensing her irritation, I took as long as humanly possible to gather up my calculator and a couple pencils. Finally I turned to her and smiled. “So. Who’s your idea of a good chaperone?”
“Vanessa.”
I started walking down the hallway, not waiting for her to follow. “Vanessa? Are you kidding?” I asked over my shoulder, incredulously.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my sister. It’s just that she’s so...weird. When we were younger, she spoke in rhyme for a couple years. She hasn’t done that since she was maybe twelve, but she hasn’t become any less strange since then. (I’m really not one to speak though, since I think most of my sibs probably say the same thing about me.) Vanessa and Haley used to be really close, but they’d had a falling out right before they both started high school. Hay had left the house crying, and I’d followed to make sure she was okay. We’d gotten to talking, and next time she’d called the house, she’d asked to speak to me. It had weirded me out at first, but I’d quickly realized how good a friend she was. Even after Hay and Vanessa made up, she’d continued coming by mostly just to see me.
Hay wrinkled her nose at me. “Think about it!” she yelled down the hallway as I hurried away from her.
***
I hate when Hay tells me to do something and then I do it, but it seems to happen a lot. I spent more time thinking about my parent’s request and Haley’s idea than calculus, or gym, or any of my other morning classes. Other than being strange, Vanessa was an ideal candidate. My parents couldn’t complain about her, and they’d believe her when she said that Hay and I had behaved. Plus, it would be good to see Hay hanging out with someone else. When I wasn’t with her, I might be out with my brothers and their friends, but I knew Hay spent most of her time alone. I’ve got no idea why. She’s bright and funny and charming and full of energy.
I was on my way to lunch when I spotted her heading the other way. Hay has lunch right before I do, and she was on her way to gym class. She’s of the opinion that it should be illegal to force people to run a mile right after making them eat cafeteria food. I must say that I agree.
“Hey, Hay!” I called across a group of cheerleaders, including my sister Margo. I flashed her a quick smile as I waded past her and her friends. Hay was juggling her lunch bag, the latest novel she’d been reading, and a few other odds and ends, trying to stuff them back into her backpack. She looked up sharply, and then grinned.
“So...?”
“So it sounds like the best idea. I have lunch with her next. I’ll ask her, okay?”
Hay’s face lit up like a jack-o-lantern, and she smiled just as large. “Oh, By, I just love you! This is going to be the best spring break ever!” She zipped up her backpack and threw her arms around me briefly. “Call me tonight! See you later!”
***
The cafeteria was already crowded by the time I got in. Most of my brothers and sisters buy their lunches, but Margo and I prefer to pack ours. Margo because she’s the pickiest person on the face of the earth, and me because I basically just think cafeteria food blows. Most of my friends were still in the lunch line, so I took a detour from our usual table and headed over to the corner. The literary set was all over here, and Vanessa was talking to a freshman boy who looked like Pugsley Addams, only less cute. I’d seen her with him a few times before. I stood behind her, hoping for a lull in the conversation. Pugsley stopped talking almost instantly, in the middle of a thought, and just stared at me. After a moment, Vanessa turned around and gave me her best death glare. “Yeah?”
“Hi, Vanessa. I was hoping to ask you a favor.” Had it been anyone else, I would have sat down beside her to ask the question. But Vanessa and Pugsley didn’t seem to welcome my presence, and I had a feeling that would just make it worse. So I went on. “I don’t know if you heard that Haley and I are taking a road trip for spring break. Mom and Dad want us to find a third person to go along with. Do you want to come? Hay and I will pay for all the gas, and I’m sure Mom and Dad would pay your share of everything else.” Actually, I wasn’t so sure of this, but I left it there anyway. If my parents were going to insist upon a babysitter for me, then they were going to have to pay for one, same as when we were kids.
Vanessa’s expression didn’t change. “Now, why would I want to do that?”
I sighed. This was going to be harder than I thought. “I don’t know. I thought maybe you’d just like to help me out and get away from Casa Pike for a week, pretty much free of charge. Hay and I haven’t decided where we’re going. There might me something out there that would make great poetry...a graveyard or whatever it is that appeals to your poetic soul these days.”
Pugsley continued to stare at me like I was a moron. On quick inspection, it didn’t look like my pleas had had any effect on Vanessa, but on a second look, I could see that her eyes were smiling, even if the rest of her face wasn’t. “I’ll think about it. Can you leave me and Devon alone now and go back to your table of Neanderthals? Thanks. Bye.”
Devon, huh? Nope. I was still going to call him Pugsley in my head. “Okay. Let me know when you make up your mind.” I walked away smiling. I knew that Vanessa was just putting on a show for her friends. If she’d really not been interested, she would have found a couple of really choice insults to cut me down to size. Vanessa is the only person I know who can swear at you without actually swearing.
I set my lunch down a few seats away from where Adam and Jordan normally sit. Across from me was Dan Reiber, a big football jock and one of Jordan’s best friends. “What are you so happy about?” he asked, putting one of those dinky little straws into a ridiculously small carton of milk. Dan usually buys about seven of those milks to satisfy his thirst.
I just shook my head, letting my smile fade. Dan is one of those people who doesn’t ask a question like that and really mean it. Had I actually told him what was so great in my life right then, he would have made one of two jokes: 1) something really not funny, involving a threesome—never mind that one of the girls going along was my sister—or 2) said something about fags and their hags.
Dan has two insults in his life: gay and retarded. Everyone and everything is either one or the other. Or if he really hates them, both. He even calls people he likes retards and queers. It’s really annoying. I just want to buy him a thesaurus and teach him a few new insults.
In any case, sometimes he focuses in on certain people and decides to make their lives living hell for a few months. Charming, huh? Back during our freshman year, he caught me staring off into space one day in the changing room and thought I was staring at him, or more precisely, his dick. He wasn’t too terribly original in choosing his insults: Queer-on Pike was his favorite. After the joke stopped being funny to anyone besides him, he just called me “Hey, Fag” for another year or so until Jordan convinced him to stop. Even so, he still occasionally makes jokes about me wanting his dick. But he’s so not my type.
Okay. I guess I better rewind a bit. Remember how I said there are a few things I didn’t even tell Haley? One of them is how accurate all the hateful jokes were. Though I would never, ever stare at Dan Reiber’s dick, he was right about one thing. I am gay.
I’ve known for a long time, even before I knew what “being gay” actually was. See, there was this boy. He was best friends with me and my brothers. I didn’t know what it meant when I always wanted to be with him and near him. I didn’t realize that my brothers felt that way about girls sometimes. It wasn’t until a couple years later when I learned what the term meant and inside my head said, “Oh, so that’s what I am!” But by that time, the boy had moved away, and we’d almost completely lost touch with him.
Since then, there have been a few other boys that made me feel good about myself, but none of them seemed to like me the way I liked them. Not that I had ever said anything to them about it. What if they’d been straight? It would have been like Dan Reiber all over again, only this time it wouldn’t just have been one idiot explaining a vague notion. It would have been someone with a whole conversation he could relive for the others. It would not have been pretty.
So basically, I’m a coward. I’ve decided that, for the next few months before I head off to college, it’s better just to hang out with my best, female friend, let my brothers think I’m screwing her, and hide who I really am.
Yeah. A big, gay coward.
***
Once we were alone together, Vanessa agreed to come along for our trip. And not only did Mom and Dad agree, they were thrilled. I think it was that 1) I had volunteered to spend time with Vanessa and 2) she wasn’t going to be moping all over the house for the whole break. In fact, they were so happy that they gave the two of us a nice chunk of change to put to toward our expenses. If we budgeted carefully, it would be enough for a single motel room for almost every night of the trip. Dad even handed me a credit card on his account in my name to use to secure the rooms and in case of emergency. I really needed to thank Hay for all the brownie points she had gotten me with my parents.
Hay’s parents had also provided some money, and all three of us each had some spare funds set aside. I was planning to use all my birthday money—as I finally turned eighteen four days before we left—and maybe then some. We’d counted and budgeted and set aside money for every activity we knew we wanted to do, and left some for things we hadn’t planned out. Hay had thrown out a bunch of adjectives for how she wanted the trip to go, but her favorite one was EPIC.
Even Vanessa got excited. She was the one who suggested where we should go in the first place. We gathered in Hay’s bedroom with a bunch of road maps, deciding on two towns a couple of hours apart we just had to see. We would spend a couple nights at each, but we hoped to leave everything wide open beyond that. The entire state of Maine lay in front of us, really.
But you know what they say about the best laid plans of mice and men. All it takes is one force of nature to change the path you’re on forever. In this case, there were two forces, and their names were Adam and Jordan.
***
I woke up ridiculously early on that first Sunday of spring break. Vanessa, Haley and I had decided to leave at the butt-crack of dawn, but I was up before the alarm even went off. That was probably for the best. Nick is a bear if you wake him when he doesn’t need to be up. Honestly, though, in the mood I was in, I probably wouldn’t even have noticed. Still, I turned the alarm off and crept out of the room.
Except for the types of things we would need that morning, Vanessa and I had packed our bags the night before. We had agreed that I would shower first and go downstairs to eat breakfast while Vanessa used the bathroom. Hay and Vanessa were going to eat on the way there and I was going to take the first shift driving. We wanted to go the whole six hour trip today, with me taking the first half and Hay the second, and then have the whole day ahead of us to enjoy.
Hay arrived early enough to make it clear that she, too, had gotten moving early this morning. She was already full of pep and zest, and she’d greeted each Pike she’d come across with a big hug, even Mom and Dad, whom she’d thanked profusely. When Vanessa was ready to go, I shoved the last of a waffle in my mouth. Dad went out to pull the car out for us, and Mom presented us with a large cooler—the one we used to take on picnics—full of snacks, drinks and sandwiches.
As Hay, Vanessa and I went outside, we were surprised to see that our family’s station wagon was sitting there. I gave Dad a questioning look. “Uh, Dad, where’s the Civic?”
Dad gave me an odd look. “With the number of you going, I thought it would make more sense to take the wagon. You’ll be able to spread out more.” I looked over at the girls, who looked just as confused. There were three of us. How much more room did we need?
Mom, Dad and my youngest sister Claire helped us load up the car. Margo and Nick were still asleep, and Jordan and Adam had called late last night and asked to stay over at a friend’s. We weren’t going to be gone for too long and we really didn’t have too much to take, so we were done pretty quickly. Hay’s high was wearing off and she climbed into the middle row with a blanket, intending to take a nap for the first part of our journey. Vanessa took the passenger seat. Dad cleared his throat, and I was waiting for a last minute lecture, a repeat of the night before when he’d sat all three of us down and given us the “rules.” But his words were not what I expected. “Aren’t you three going to wait for the rest?”
***
Oh, no. Oh, no, no.
I’m not sure how exactly this happened. But when the car took off forty-five minutes later, there were six of us belted in. Hay had moved from the middle row into the rear facing seat, where she was silently sulking. Vanessa had taken out a book and was furiously ripping pieces off a muffin, shoving them soundlessly into her mouth. I was behind the wheel, rigid with anger. And in the middle row, sensing our irritation and annoyance, were Adam, Jordan, and Jeff Schafer.
Jeff Schafer. Oh my God. When we were ten, he was my best friend. Yeah. That best friend. His mom still lived in town, and though he visited her often, for the last few years we just hadn’t been able to get it together. Either he’d come to town while we were out of town, or he’d been free only while I was working. I hadn’t seen him since we were thirteen or fourteen. I remembered that he and Jordan had spent some time together last summer and that he and Adam had run into each other at Thanksgiving. But we’d barely hit puberty when I’d last spoken to him. And these days, he was looking good.
Jeff’s hair is blonde and looks like just stepped out of a windstorm, and he has this adorable spray of freckles across nose. When he showed up at the house with my brothers, he was wearing a white wife beater under an unbuttoned shirt of blue and green plaid. The blue in his shirt brought out the sparkly ocean blue of his eyes. He completed the outfit with a pair of faded, lived in cargo shorts and flip flops, and a silver thumb ring on his left hand. He was maybe a few inches taller than I am, but he carried himself better, making him look much taller.
My childhood crush standing on my front step, carrying a duffel and looking sexy as hell? Yeah. I was barely able to form a coherent thought for the next few seconds. Or minutes. Or longer. Which is probably how Adam and Jordan were able to talk the three of us into letting the three of them into the car.
Like I said, I don’t really know how it happened. All I do know is that one of my brothers told Dad that Hay and I had okayed the other two triplets joining our trip. And I, of course, really hadn’t. Half the reason for going on the trip in the first place, at least for me, was to get away from the two of them for a week. Even while I’d been wracking my brain trying to think of someone to bring along before asking Vanessa, I’d never even considered asking either of them once. Both Hay and Vanessa were looking toward me, hoping I would speak up and tell the other guys they couldn’t come. But I’ve never been one for making a scene. And Mom and Dad looked so hopeful, probably at the prospect of having only three teens in the house for the week. Not to mention how tongue-tied I was, looking at this beautiful specimen of manhood that had just appeared in front of me. So I let the girls down, and I could tell that, in addition to being mad at Adam and Jordan, they were mad at me.
Some spring break adventure this was turning out to be.
And Jeff? Well, he’d had the good sense to look embarrassed when he’d realized that he hadn’t actually been invited on the trip in the first place. All I caught was that he’d run into Jordan and Adam the night before, and they’d mentioned how they were leaving for the week first thing in the morning. Somehow, this had led to them inviting him to join us, and his mom had given him permission. I took a look at him in the rear view mirror. Jeff was gazing out the window on the passenger’s side, looking pained. I couldn’t tell more than that from a quick glance.
Jordan was sitting bitch. Either oblivious to the tension in the car, or trying clumsily to cut it, he piped up, “It’s deathly quiet in here. Can we get some music playing, please?”
Music. That was actually a good idea. Not wanting him to get his way too much, I answered without taking my eyes off the road. “Yeah. Music sounds good. But I’m making a couple rules first.” The groans sounded almost universal. “First is that, since so many of us can drive, we switch drivers every two hours. Whoever drove last gets to sit in the passenger’s seat. The rest of us can sit wherever the hell we want, as long as we can do it without fighting. Sound fair?” No one said anything, so I took that as a yes. “How many drivers do we have?”
Jordan nudged Jeff in the ribs. “Schafer. You got a license?”
Blinking, Jeff turned away from the window. He looked like he’d been pulled out of an epically bad daydream. He said the first words I’d heard from him since, “Good morning.” “Yeah. For a while now. In California, you get your license when you turn sixteen.” He turned back to the window.
“Great. Five drivers then.” I put on my blinker and slowed at a stop sign. “Second. Whoever is in the passenger’s seat has to play navigator, but also gets to pick the music. Vanessa, you got something in mind?”
I’d done this deliberately. Vanessa has a great collection of CDs designed to annoy. She also has an IPod full of songs guaranteed to make the most cheerful person in the world want to slit his wrists.
While Vanessa shuffled through her duffel bag, I heard the commentary from the middle row. “What do you think this is, school? Fuck, Byron. It’s a goddamn road trip. Who died and made you the god of making rules?”
Haley’s head popped over the top of the seat for the first time in several miles. She stood up on her knees, leaning over the middle seat with her head between Adam and Jordan’s. “You assholes did when you invited yourselves along. No one asked you to come. And Vanessa and By and I had already decided on some rules before that, so if you don’t like them, you can get the fuck out of the car and walk home. Because I like rules and I especially like any rule that you two hate!” By this point, she was practically screaming.
Adam leaned forward, away from her. “Dude,” he said in a spooked voice, looking at me in the rearview. “Your girlfriend’s crazy.” At that moment, I was a bit inclined to agree. This was something new for Hay. There was a crazed look in her eye, her face was beet red, and tears streamed down her face. While I’d seen her cry before, it had never been like this, with so much emotion behind it.
I didn’t dignify Adam with a response. Vanessa had selected a CD and popped it into the jury-rigged system that played through the car’s old tape deck. Janis Joplin came pouring out of the speakers as the car’s occupants fell silent again. Hay sat back down, crying much in the same way she laughs. Jeff’s eyes never left the window. Vanessa flipped a page in her book and took a swig of coffee. And Adam and Jordan looked at each other, both trying to decide if they wanted to take Hay’s advice and jump out of the moving car and both looking sorely tempted.
“Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose,” Janis sang from the tinny car speakers.
Oh, yeah. This had to be the worst start to any road trip in the history of the world.
***
We were all silent and fretful for a while after that. Vanessa’s CD was a mix CD, and after Bobby McGee, I couldn’t even begin to tell you what most of the music was, because I didn’t recognize it. Vanessa was still reading. Adam and Jordan had discovered the cooler and were munching grapes. Jeff hadn’t moved a muscle from the window, and I’m pretty sure Hay had cried herself to sleep. We were about three songs in when we hit the highway. I merged going north.
A moment later, Jordan leaned over Adam, watching the car’s progress. “What are you doing?” he exclaimed. “Byron, you’re going the wrong way.”
I kept my eyes on the road, tense at all the traffic this early on a Sunday morning. “No, I’m not.”
“Did you fail geography? Florida is south of here, man. You’re going north.”
Vanessa and I exchanged a look, and she nodded. She put down her book and turned around, looking at our brothers. “Florida? What do you mean, Florida?” she asked. “We’re going to Maine.”
Adam and Jordan gaped. “Maine?” Jordan echoed. “Maine? Who the hell goes to Maine during spring break? What’s the matter with you people?”
I had finally gotten to a comfortable position on the highway and put on the cruise control. “Maybe next time, you’ll find out where the car is going before you invite yourself along.”
A small chuckle erupted from somewhere else, and I had to check around before I realized it was Jeff. “Oh, my God,” he said, turning away from the window. Our eyes met briefly in the rearview before he turned to my brothers. “You guys are priceless.” He was still chuckling, but that one look at his face told me that he wasn’t really happy. His eyes looked sad and lost. “You tell me we’re going to go to Florida. It’s going to be me and the guys, just like the old days. And then we get in the car, and not only are there girls going— no offense, Vanessa and Haley—but I find out we’re not actually on the guest list. And now, we’re going to Maine, of all places.” He shook his head and turned back to the window. “Maine,” he repeated, as if he couldn’t believe it. “What’s in Maine?”
Despite the fact that the question was obviously rhetorical, Vanessa answered him seriously. “Mountains,” she said. “Mountains and the ocean. Sometimes you just need to go somewhere that soothes your soul, you know?”
Jeff turned away from the window for the third time and met Vanessa’s gaze. “Yeah, I do know.” He looked up to the roof of the car, as if it might hold the answers to all life’s questions. “Okay,” he said, flashing a brief smile that actually looked like he meant it, “Maine.”
***
We stopped at the two hour mark for a pee break and driver switch. Since Vanessa wouldn’t be driving during the trip, I volunteered to give up my turn in shotgun and let her keep the seat. Adam, who had won a game of rock, paper, scissors with Jordan, was going to drive next. Jeff had turned down an offer for the wheel, and Hay was still sleeping restlessly in the back and we hadn’t wanted to wake her.
She was awake, however, when I came back from the john. “Need to stretch your legs?” I asked, climbing around the luggage to join her. Hay shook her head and pulled her blanket even tighter around her. All that was visible was her face, which was puffy from dried tears and sleep. I sat close to her and put my arm around the lump of blanket. “Hay. I’m so sorry.”
I felt her shrug. “I know.” Her voice was hoarse and still sounded a bit wavery. She lifted a blanket encased arm and wiped at her face. “I don’t really blame you. You can’t be held responsible if your brothers are little bastards. Or if you don’t have the balls to stand up to them.” I sighed but didn’t say anything. She was correct, after all. After a moment she finally turned and looked at me. “I just wanted to get away from myself, you know? And having them here is the exact opposite of that.”
I met her gaze. “Believe me, I know.” Hay put her head on my shoulder. I went on. “Remember what you called this trip back when we first put it together? Well, I’ve got a different name for it: By and Hay’s Bogus Journey.”
Hay made a happy noise for the first time since the boys had shown up. She closed her eyes and relaxed into me, but her stomach made angry sounds. “You haven’t eaten anything today yet, have you? What are you in the mood for?”
She shook her head. “Nothing right now. Just stay right where you are, okay? I need this more than I need breakfast.”
I closed my eyes, too, and put my head on top of hers. We sat like that for a few minutes, and I might have fallen asleep if it weren’t for a pounding on the window. “What are you fuckers doing back there?” Jordan shouted, his face up against the window.
Another voice, more garbled, responded, “You got that right. Fuckers.” Both Adam and Jordan started to laugh. I squinted my eyes more tightly shut and pretended not to hear either of them. From the way Hay tensed, she was doing the same.
The front passenger car door was open and Vanessa had been sitting in the seat, stretching her bare feet out the door, enjoying some weak rays of sun. “You guys are absolutely charming.” She pulled her feet back into the car and placed them on the dashboard.
I still hadn’t opened my eyes. “Vanessa, can you pass the rest of the muffins back here for Hay?” I called as Adam and Jordan settled into their seats, still chortling.
Haley sat upright as Vanessa passed the bag back to Jordan. Jordan placed the bag on the seat between us, and I grabbed it up. There were two muffins left, and I peered into the bag. “Blueberry or bran?” I asked.
“Yuck.”
My brothers were getting antsy. Adam threw the car into drive and laid on the horn. “Yo, Schafer!” he shouted out the open window. “Let’s get moving.”
Jeff appeared, not from the gas station, but from the dinky little market across the parking lot. He was carrying a small paper bag and ducked his head as he ran between the parked cars over to us. Taking a quick glance to see where everyone was sitting, he ran to the door next to the open seat and quickly climbed in. “Sorry,” he said, not really sounding apologetic at all.
The door was barely closed when Adam peeled out of the parking lot, just a little faster than necessary. Vanessa started telling him off, smacking him several times with the map. Jordan put ear buds in and turned up the volume loud enough to compete with Vanessa’s anime soundtrack. Once the others were distracted, Jeff turned around. “Uh, hey guys,” he said in a low voice. Hay and I turned toward him. He lifted the bag up, like it was a peace offering. “Nectarine?”
Haley looked at me, and we had a brief, wordless conversation which ended with me shrugging. I was getting more like my dad every day. “Sure. Thanks.” We wiggled apart and sat at opposite ends of the seat, our knees facing towards each other. Hay kicked the blanket off and accepted the bag, pulling a nectarine out of the bag and then handing it back to Jeff. “If you’re going to give any to By, you’d better take yours first. He eats more than anyone I’ve ever met.”
I kicked her sandal with the toe of one of my Converse. Jeff nodded. “I seem to remember that.” He pulled out a nectarine himself and took a bite. When he was done chewing, he looked at us expectantly, but didn’t say a word. Instead he handed me the bag and used it as an excuse to break eye contact.
I grabbed a nectarine but didn’t eat it. “Uh, it’s been a long time.” I said to Jeff as I spun the nectarine around and around. I watched the fruit instead of his face.
“Yup.”
Hay’s eyes darted back and forth between us for a moment. She opened her mouth, and then closed it. She took another bite of nectarine and exhaled loudly. I could tell that she was finding both of us, with our amazing communication skills, extremely frustrating. Both Jeff and I looked at her. She smiled an infuriating little grin as she swallowed. “So, Jeff. You’re a senior, right? Got plans for next year?”
Jeff shrugged. “Probably the community college. My grades are okay but not that great. Plus my dad...” he trailed off, looking briefly pained. “I dunno. I guess I just haven’t thought about it too much.” Another bite of nectarine and a pause while he chewed. “What about you two?”
Hay cocked her head to one side. “Well, I’m just a junior, but I’m thinking about being a professional sign language interpreter. They’re in big demand for courtrooms and schools and all sorts of places. But another part of me wants to do something Indiana Jones-y, like archaeology or anthropology. Once I decide what I want to study, I’ll decide where to go.” She shifted around a bit. “But Byron got an early acceptance to Duke for the biomedical engineering program.” Hay loves saying that. She says it makes me sound like a cyborg.
Jeff stared at me as if Haley had said I was going to be going to Hogwarts or outer space. “Wow. What are you, some kind of super brainiac?” I ducked my head, feeling my face flush.
“Seriously. Why do you think I do as much of my homework with him as possible? I’m always hoping some of that will rub off on me.” Hay’s attention drifted back to her nectarine, which was dripping down her lap. She enacted a furious feeding frenzy, leaving behind just the pit, and then looked at me. “Look at this. I am going to need to change before we get there.”
It was my turn to shrug again. “Change now.” I suggested. “Or you can see what kind of filthy-ass gas station Adam pulls into in a couple of hours.” I still didn’t look up. The nectarine, rotating in my hand, was getting sort of mushy. I finally took a bite.
Hay stared at me, horrified. “Change in here, in front of your pervert brothers?”
I didn’t move. “They’re a little busy.” It was true. Jordan had a magazine in his lap—if I’d had to guess, I’d say soft-core porn, like Maxim or Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition— and was focused in on that and his music. In the front seat, Adam was dealing with a slight case of road rage, only it was directed inside the car. Vanessa had taken to singing along to the soundtrack playing. Only problems with that are 1) Vanessa can’t sing and 2) she didn’t really know the words, so she was making them up by phonetically sounding out the Japanese. Had he not been driving, it would have been pretty neat to see Adam’s head explode. I figured it wouldn’t be too much longer before someone would have to intervene or the car would end up crashing into the median, with multiple casualties.
I finally looked up as I directed my attention back to Haley. “You’ve got the blanket, don’t you? And you know I won’t bother you. Can she trust you, Jeff?” My eyes flickered onto him for the first time since he’d handed me the nectarine. He was following the conversation by leaning his head onto the seat behind him and turning it at an angle. His eyes were half open, and he looked both sleepy and distant. And yet, still cute as can be. Damn.
Jeff shook himself and then met my gaze. “Yeah. No problem. I’ve got this window. I can count the number of red cars that we pass while you change.” Even though he was talking to Hay, this statement was made while looking directly at me. I felt an involuntary shiver go through my body.
Hay’s eyes ping-ponged again, and then stopped on me. She eyed me critically for a moment, but I wasn’t able to read her expression. Then she vaulted out of the seat. She’d tucked her bag over in one corner, and it was still accessible. She dug through the clothes, pulling out a skirt and t-shirt combo that’s one of her favorites, and then zipped the bag back up. I grabbed the blanket and handed it to her. “Want me to hold it up for you?”
She shook her head. “Naw. I got it. Just scoot over and give me some room, ‘kay?”
I wiggled over into the far corner of the seat. Jeff made a big show of turning to the window. Hay put the blanket down, and, just as I thought she was going to do, threw her new clothes on over her old. Then she covered herself in the blanket and started maneuvering underneath it to remove her jeans and shirt. I turned and looked out the window also, to give her an extra element of privacy. Jeff’s head was right next to mine, and with us both looking out the window, I could see his profile. He turned a little in his seat and looked at me again. “How long have you and Haley been going out?” he asked in a low voice, soft enough that I barely heard him.
I shook my head and whispered back. “We’re not dating.”
Jeff looked straight out the window again. When he spoke, he sounded confused. “Oh?”
“She’s just my friend. My best friend. Pretty much my only friend.” I didn’t know why I was telling him this. “We basically just have each other, so we’re pretty close.” Jeff raised his eyebrows at that but didn’t say anything. Desperate to change the subject, I squinted into the lane of cars next to us. “One!” I yelled, startling Jeff a bit.
Vanessa turned the radio down and turned around over the seat, looking irritated. “One what?”
“Jeff and I are counting red cars.”
“Oh.” She raised her eyebrows. “Do I want to know why?”
Jeff looked at her. “No, you really don’t,” he said. She laughed. It was the first time I’d heard Vanessa laugh about anything in a long time. It was a really nice sound.
About this time, Haley emerged from the pile of blanket and nectarine-juicy clothes with an amused look on her face. “Hey, Vanessa?” she called, letting her mess drop temporarily to the floor, “Do you mind changing CDs? I think I’ve heard all the Japanese I can take for one day. I hate not knowing what the song is about.” I sent her a telepathic thank you as she turned to me and gave a mischievous little grin.
Jeff was starting to open up a little. “You know what I hate?” he asked, looking at Haley this time, “When the song’s in English, and I still don’t know what it’s about.” Hay laughed and I nodded in agreement.
Vanessa smiled. “Okay, okay. Let me see what else I have, alright?”
I beat her to it. “Here,” I pulled a CD case out of my back pocket and handed it to Jeff. “Try this one, Vanessa.” The case and CD were unlabeled, and after Jeff handed them to her, Vanessa looked at them, and then me, suspiciously. “Oh, just put it in. Don’t you trust me?”
She shook her head. “No.” But she put the CD in and pressed play. Slightly cheesy, pop-py sixties harmonica music started playing, followed shortly by the John Lennon singing “Love Me Do.” Vanessa quirked an eyebrow at me and Jeff turned his head to the side, like he was suddenly realizing I had three nostrils or something. Even Adam gave me an odd look in the rearview mirror.
I shrugged. “What?” I asked, playing innocent. “Everyone likes the Beatles, right?”
Hay answered on behalf of the car as a whole. “Yeah,” she said as she finished stuffing her dirty clothes back into her duffel, “but most of us don’t carry the Beatles in our butt pockets.”
I felt myself turn a little pink despite not having done anything wrong. I guess I just hate having so many people stare at me at once. “Back up plan? I didn’t think we could stand to listen to Vanessa’s music for four hours straight. I’m surprised it took me this long to pull it out.” Vanessa crumpled up a muffin wrapper and a napkin and threw them at me. I ducked and they bounced off the side window, landing in among the bags.
The trip was actually starting to feel like it might be fun. Maybe.
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