#not feeling he belonged anywhere esp because of how much ed has changed and the uncertainty of who he is and what his purpose is

[scaryhaven]

I'm so normal about the fact that the crew chose to use the unicorn hoof of all things for Izzy's new leg, its unbelievably moving. The unicorn was the figurehead of the ship, and back then figureheads embodied the spirit of the vessel, offering the crew protection from harsh seas and safeguarding their homeward journeys. Now i don't think i need to really explain just how beautiful this is, but, I'm also incapable of shutting up about Israel Hands, so. Izzy seems to assume everyone still hates him, and is drinking his many sorrows away, alone in his room, not knowing that the crew fully recognizes that Izzy saved them from Blackbeard, that he chose to protect them. The note said that Izzy is the ships "new unicorn" i.e. the new figurehead, this means that he also embodies the spirit of the vessel, and that they have faith in his continued ability to protect them, as is the job of the figurehead. Even the fact the hoof was painted gold seems intentional, gold in the bible represents love and protection, as if they are saying thank you for protecting us, now let us paint you in our protection as well Izzy. When they knocked on his door to give him his present, Izzy derogatorily calls himself a cripple, showing that he's feeling particularly clumsy and weak after his fall in front of everyone, and assumes this must be how everyone sees him now as well. But, unicorns actually represent power and grace, they've not only enabled Izzy to feel sturdy again physically with a new leg, they've also taken a bit of the weight off his shoulders emotionally by proving to him that he's not alone. Similar to his new leg, they're willing to bear some of the burden for him. And that's the thing, Izzy always tries to do things on his own, he gets drunk alone, he cries alone, his version of self-healing involves coming up with stories about sharks biting his leg off, and he even does that alone too. Yet they're giving him a sign that no matter how much he tries to self isolate, he's actually shit out of luck because they're there for him. What I appreciate about this show of support is the fact that they didn't force Izzy to accept the gift face to face, rather, they left it outside his room, proving that they know him quite well, and didn't want to push him too far too fast. Just like their extending of friendship, they are letting Izzy come to them when he's ready. But what i love most of all is that it actually works, this is what finally snaps him out of his spiral of depression, and gets him sword training again, improving himself rather than giving up, and engaging with the crew and helping them. This one show of solidarity, gratitude, and compassion, opens his eyes to the fact that he's a part of their messed up family, he belongs to something, and this fact alters Izzy forever.

[winryofresembool]

Love Can Melt the Ice, chapter 20

A/N: 20 chapters?? I can’t believe this. A big thank you of course belongs to you, who have supported my journey :’) (Esp. @criis55 whose commentary actually helped me to write the dialogue in this one.) I’m sorry this is a short one, but I just /really/ wanted to get something out. Because I cut this so short, that also means there are a couple of more chapters to come... I just can’t contain myself, can I? Anyway, please enjoy and don’t forget to review!! I really hope someone’s still around to read this.

Summary: Just some fluff before the party :’)

Previous chapters:  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 5.5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 pt 1, pt 2, 16, 17, 18, 19

Next chapter: [x]

Companion pieces (note: these are all post Olympics happenings so reading the main fic first is recommended): 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Words: 1450+ (but it’s all Edwin!)

Genre: flooof

Winry knocked on Ed’s door again about 15 minutes after leaving the room. Now she was wearing an azure blue, knee length, v-neck dress that matched her eyes, and equally blue ballerinas. Her hair was down (Winry explained the bun had felt really uncomfortable) but curled, and her smile wider than Ed had seen during the entire time they had spent together. When Ed opened the door for her, she spun around a few times like she had earlier on the ice, caught the hem of her dress and curtsied to him playfully.

“So? What do you think?” she asked curiously and spread her arms wider, so he could get a better look at the dress. “This is suitable for tonight, right?”

Ed couldn’t speak for a couple of moments. “Y-yeah! Of course! It looks… it looks great!”

“Aw, thank you. You know, you don’t look bad yourself.” Winry smirked and tugged at his ponytail playfully. “This matches the medal I’ll get, by the way.”

“Oh? Good thing I didn’t dye it silver then. Once my teammates almost made me do it.”

“Oh, poor you… Well, shall we go? The others are probably waiting already.”

Since Ed was using his crutches, they couldn’t walk hand in hand, but Winry hooked her arm with his. As they made their way to the cab stop, she realized: soon everyone would know about their new relationship status. She got slightly nervous about how Ed would feel about her figure skating friends’ reactions. Or… simply making it public. Once it was out in the air, there would be no going back. But he had said he would do anything he wasn’t sure about so she reasoned that she shouldn’t have anything to worry about.

“You’re suddenly being quiet,” Ed noted suddenly. “Is everything OK?”

“Of course it is! It’s just… this all is almost too good to be true. Am I… am I really the Olympic champion? Are we… are we really dating now?”

“Why would you even ask that?” Ed growled. “Your performance was awesome! And if you need more convincing on that other matter… I made my decision and I won’t change it easily. I’d be lying if I claimed that one part of me still isn’t screaming of horror when I think about myself dating… but some things are worth it.”

Winry had to blink a couple of times so she wouldn’t start crying right then and there. “You know, you are actually much sweeter than you give yourself credit for… Thank you. I guess… I’m just not used to feeling this happy… Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for everything I have, which is probably more than I’ve let you to understand, but… ever since my parents died, I’ve felt… like I am missing something. But that feeling has been slowly fading lately.”

“That’s good to hear.”

“Can you guess if there are any specific reasons for that?” Winry took his face between her hands, so he would have to look directly at her.

“How would I know? I can’t read your thoughts,” Ed asked, pretending to be oblivious even though he had gotten the hint.

“Idiot,” Winry sighed and rolled her eyes. “It’s you, of course.”

“Oh.” For a while Ed didn’t know what else to say, until: “Can I ask you one question?”

“Sure?”

“Why do you like me?” He was blushing again, hoping that one day he’d manage to speak to her normally without looking like a dork. “If I’m honest, I don’t really understand it.”

“If you don’t understand it, then I’m afraid I can’t help you.” Winry pouted at him like the question had offended her. “Relax,” she added finally, smiling at him softly. “There are a lot of reasons. In the beginning, I guess I was simply curious because you were my childhood friend, so I wanted to see how time has treated you. We had fun talking with each other and I felt comfortable with you when we spent time together. Admittedly…” Her hand briefly stroked the sleeve of Ed’s coat under which the automail was. “I was also fascinated by your automail when I heard about it.”

“You really are an automail geek…” Ed sighed and started hopping towards the cab stop again.

“Hey, automail geek and proud!” Winry exclaimed. “Anyway, I was only getting to my point. For some reason, I felt you were a person who would never hurt me. That is, until you ran away from our meeting without explaining what was wrong.”

“I’m still sorr…”

“It’s OK, we’ve been over it. I know you had your reasons. So, afterwards I talked with Riza and heard about how you had without hesitation gotten between your brother and that Envy, giving you that injury. Then I heard from Rosé you had woken her up and saved her career. And THEN,” she raised her voice when Ed looked like he was about to protest, her eyebrow shooting up as well, “After your tournament had ended in the worst possible way, I heard about your home situation and about the poor little girl, and I finally understood.”

“Understood what?” Ed asked, not seeing where Winry was going with her story.

“That you are one of the bravest people I’ve ever met.” She stopped in front of him, giving him that fierce, stubborn look that he had learned to admire. “Sure, you can be hotheaded sometimes, and I don’t like how you try to keep things to yourself, but I like you despite that. Your first instinct is to protect the people around you, even if it ends up hurting you. I understand now that you were only pushing me away to protect me. But I have some news for you: I don’t need you to do that for me. I can take care of myself just fine. What I want from you is simply you.”

Her demeanor softened as she continued: “I want to spend more time with you, and learn to know more about what you are under that icy, edgy hockey player cover…” (Ed snorted a bit at her description) “… and I want to…”

“Yeah?”

She poked his nose. “I’ll tell you the rest after you tell me why you like me. Equivalent exchange, isn’t that what our relationship is about?”

Ed got flustered. “Wha...”

“Yes?” She looked at him expectantly.

“Eh… I’m super bad at describing something like that, and you probably know it, but I guess I have to try.” He took a deep breath, and continued: “You… You’re damn strong. Much stronger than you probably realize. You know how I’ve dealt with the issues of my life, which isn’t exactly the healthiest way, but your way of coping is so different. Much more admirable.”

He had a brief thinking break, looking at anywhere but her, but she set her hand back on his cheek, looking at him with determination, and Ed finally found the words.

“You have always pushed yourself to be the best you can be in the thing you do. Proof? You’re an Olympic champion. You also want to become a great automail mechanic. You are open to new things and determined to learn. Besides, challenge is always a good thing in my opinion, and you have proven to be very good at challenging me. Maybe at some point we’ll be at each other’s throats, but I couldn’t be with someone who doesn’t have her own will.”

A short break again.

“… But you also have a different side. A s-sweet and soft. That part of you that organized me a birthday party and was there for me when I was having a hard time. Your support has… it has been a bigger help to me than you probably understand. Al would… Al would probably say that you have managed to melt my ice barrier. I… I think he’s right.”

“Good answer,” Winry lowered her voice, inching closer to him. “I suppose I could reveal what I was going to tell you earlier, but I’d prefer a physical demonstration.”

“Ok. This time I can take a hint,” Ed said and freed one of his hands from its crutch before sneaking it around her waste and pulling her for an open-mouthed kiss. She teased his tongue with hers while one of her hands searched for the back of his neck, and one freed his hair from its ponytail.

“Sorry…” she whispered when they pulled away to get some air. “I just wanted to test what it felt like.”

“’S OK…”

He kissed her again, this kiss being more charged than the previous ones. Had they not been outside in the cold, they might have continued much longer, but soon they remembered where they were, and waved a cab to take them to the party.