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if anyone is able to help me out i'd appreciate it, im still broke as hell. this month has been really difficult for me. i worked a total of 5 days all month and my bank account is in the negatives again after paying bills and getting some living essentials. i dont know how im going to pay my rent like this. i applied to a financial relief fund from a local trans advocacy group but it's going to be a few weeks until anything comes from that. if you have literally anything to spare it would help me out a lot 😭🙏 i feel bad ive been asking for help so often and i know everyone is struggling, im working on getting my life back in order but everything fucking sucks and is difficult right now :( even just spreading this is a huge help
pp: paypal.me/bewearrr vnm: tobias_leviathan
thank you 💕💕
#im looking for a new job but i dont think its gonna happen any time soon :( my current job is fucking miserable#im working on comms to the best of my ability but i can only draw so fast and i dont want to injure myself and its hard to stay motivated#when ur mental health is tanking so hard#my physical health has been tanking too like stress is getting to me so hard i fucking started a period out of nowhere#i havent menstruated in like 10 years legitimately#im so beyond stressed i have to stop myself from panicking all the time#i have a bunch of work coming up this week but its nowhere near full time#they schedule based 'on performance' when youre part time and since im only here one day a week and they put me at the station i hate--#the most its almost inevitable that theyre using this as a way to get me to not be there. i dont think my boss likes me very much.#bc then they can claim my performance isnt good BECAUSE YOU PUT ME ON THE TASK THAT IVE SAID FROM DAY ONE I DONT WANT TO DO
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also hating on pedros HAIRDRESSER is actually insane im begging you bitches to touch some grass
#pedro pascal#hating women who are at all involved with ur celebrity crush is extreme weirdo behavior#saw someone actually say#“who leaves their husband to travel with their boss#uh someone who is doing their fucking JOB?????#did we travel back in time to 1952 or something jesus fuck#get help!#pedro pascal fandom
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bath is such a tourist trap 😭😭 the roman baths were neat but that’s literally all there is
#stream#skip sally lunn’s house unless u want to sit around for 15 minutes waiting to have ur drink order taken only to sit around for an hour to#have to go out and FIND THE WAITER bc we been sittin for an HOUR waitin for the damn FOOD TO SHOW UP#man didn’t show up once 🙄#literally i’m still so annoyed that im going to leave a review like bro what the fuck we were the ONLY people in the entire ROOM & we were#just ??? looking around ???? like what the fuck#i hate all non american restaurants unless they’re like#UPPITY UPPITY restaurants or like a PUB#anything in between is trash & i would rather kill myself than go to them#either give me bugs in my drink or a Real Server that’s IT !!!!!#😭😭😭😭😭#i wouldn’t have been dramatic if i wasn’t just drinking fucking BLACK TEA on an EMPTY STOMACH like BRO i was going to VOMIT#i got so annoyed i was like i’m just going into the kitchen bc what the fuck is this like guess i gotta cook this trash myself ?#then they just comped the drinks like … lol#omar covered bc i was going to argue bc the ORHER SERVER SAID SHES COMPING EVERUTHING BC AN HOUR IS BULLSHIT#THATS AN H O U R#FOR FUCKING 2 SLICES OF HAM W MUSTARD ON A BUN#I’m soooooo ANNOYED#like what pisses me off the most is slow service#be RUDE just don’t be fuckin SLOW#IF UR TABLE IS BORED UR DOING A BAD JOB
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Next time somebody at work asks if I can help I’m just saying no idfc anymore
#I literally cannot help#I always try to help tho even when it’s not part of my job and then they keep coming back with even DUMBER questions#leave me alone#also I’ve just had a week off and this woman won’t fucking leave me alone for AGAIN… something that’s NOTHING TO DO WITH ME#I’m fucking busy catching up fuck off 😭😭😭😭😭#there’s literally a fucking dedicated query email for all this shit and guess what I DONT EVEN WORK FOR THAT TEAM#WHY DO U THINK I KNOW WHAT THE HELL UR ON ABOUT????#I’m looking for a new job this week I hate it so I have no patience for all the idiots anymore#and these are all fucking INTERNAL people not outside people who genuinely don’t know and just have my contact info for some treason#reason#this lady today: when you post these on the system can you add this specific information#me: literally does not and cannot post invoices on the system??#this lady also today: do u know the status of our account with this company#me: does not work for the team where the queries go. has nothing to do with said company#maybe just fucking ask the company yourself#she’s literally calling me rn as I type this LMAOO#IGNORING#rant over hehe sorry :)
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Went out to check in w/place we interviewed at. Had a breakdown in the fucking place. Person we needed to see wasn't there. Ended up feeling like a complete fool by the end of it. Had another breakdown heading home. Gonna try again at 9.
#sepiasys.txt#Ideally alone#Because yeah I'm FUCKING RIGHT. We can't do anything with bestie present. We can't mask! BECAUSE HE IS THERE!!#If I sense any chance of him looking at us; I can't keep the anxiety down enough.#Also confirmed we just get cold and shakey as fuck when we're secretly anxious. Apparently.#I get that buying smth would make it less awkward but thats if he comes with. If not even if I have deal with a line of ppl idc#aint buying shit ESPECIALLY if it turns out we weren't fit for the job because why the fuck would I do that?#I might try to get something online if need be idgaf {says someone who wont feel the same later}#It's just people. just people.#I think the most disheartening thing is hearing some dude say it was their first day here; idk what the context was for it#if thats a new hire tho then WHAT THE FUCK MAN!! DONT JUST FUCKING GHOST ME LIKE THIS SHIT!!!!!#I feel sick >:( Our roommates are gonna fucking hate me.#Also the way bestie acts; in retrospect it looks like he's trying to ignore me actively. But he also pushes me to lead. BITCH⁉️#YOU'RE NOT THAT KIND OF PERSON WHO NEEDS A FRIEND TO LEAD OR WHATEVER LIKE FUCK OFF WITH THAT‼️ I know ur tryna help but DUDE.#You literally make everything worse when you treat me like this because I can feel the expectations weigh on me. Because you have them.#It's like you're secretly watching and listening even if you're doing everything you can to NOT do it for my sake.
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WTFFF I thought thirteen would be my new girl crush love of my life heart eyes wife you-came-after-twelve-you-must-be-better-than-they're-all-saying bbygirl and then I had to sit down and watch as she told a man who (if he were not a murderer, of course) literally every regeneration before her would've LOVED and FULLY SUPPORTED that "the systems aren't the problem. how people use and exploit the system, that's the problem. people like you" </33333 !?!?
#WHERE IS THAT POST THAT SAID NINE WOULD KILL THIRTEEN FOR BEING A CLASS TRAITOR#WHY WOULD YOU SAY “ERODE PEOPLE'S TRUST IN AUTOMATION” ALL WORRIED AND CONCERNED LIKE THAT???#WHEN DID YOU START LIKING AUTOMATION OVER PEOPLE THINKING AND DOING THINGS FOR THEMSELVES???#AND WHY ARE YOU TRAVELING WITH A COPPER??? WE HATE COPPERS??????#did we FORGET into the dalek?? how about how he treated danny?? god there's so much more I can't even remember off the top of my head#(I understand soldiers are different from cops but c'mon don't even PRETEND twelve would've been any nicer if blue or danny were just COPS)#also a bit off topic bUT MAY I JUST TALK ABOUT ARACHNIDS IN THE UK FOR HALF A GODAMNED SECOND—#I know the companions are usually the ones to do the doctor's dirty work here but like#I just can't see the other doctors NOT having the business man lure the spider for being so fuckin annoying about it#like I was genuinely surprised when they had him do that whole song and dance about not doing it and then he actually just. didn't do it#the doctor LOVES fucking with evil rich business men this is PERFECT. plus why not get back at him for being awful to their companions?#absolutely gobsmacked thirteen let him act like that. I am wrong in thinking that the others would've shut his shit down a LOT quicker??#anyways. I love jodie whittaker and it's just so upsetting to have her doctor do something so wildly off#THIRTEEN PLEASE I HAD SUCH FAITH IN YOUUU I WAS IGNORING THE HATERS AND FOR WHAT#I can SEE the other doctors in her still I can FEEL them they're there she's doing an AMAZING job but. oh my god. what did they make her do#I can't even say she feels ooc as a whole because jodie is bloody brilliant. it's just these... moments. that don't make ANY sense to me...#especially coming off of twelve?? I get the radical personality switch but that belief is a core part of the doctor. or at least I THOUGHT#thirteenth doctor#doctor who#I still love all of you who love her and reading ur posts/fics but I. will not be making any myself. I do not think.
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actual conversation i had with my dental hygienist
hygienist: so what did you study at university?
me: chemistry...
hygienist: damn, no wonder you look so sad!
#this is especially funny now that i got a new job and it has like... barely anything to do with my degree LMAOOOO#mostly bc the job market is rough rn and i kinda need the money more than anything... but damn LOL#and then he proceeded to give me a speech about his own road to becoming a hygienist#how he started in business but then hated it so he started dj-ing#then found that he got bored of it and so he went to med school. but found that too much of a hassle as well#so now hes in dental school and working as a hygienist as he completes his schooling and is NOW debating on changing careers again#and like noah fence to the guy i know he was trying to be encouraging about how 'ur degree shouldnt shackle u to one type of career'#but also his carefree nature is sending alarm bells in my head bc the only ppl who speak like that are people who can Afford#to soul search like that. bc if i knew my parents are there to catch me if my new venture failed#damn i'd do fucking whatever i wanted to as well!! but ofc idk if hes really rich like that#he did have an aura tho. rich people aura. they got a way of talking sometimes... especially western ppl....#ANYWAY.... just wanted to share how i got scalped with my mouth wide open filled with blood thank u for listening to my ted talk#zee talks
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i need people to start paying me for every time they tell me "oh but ur arts so good ur wasting ur talent u need to do it professionally" wrong i need to do art to draw beautiful characters that not a single other person cares about while feeding every ounce of love i have into my work or to convey thoughts & feelings beyond words and to even think of doing otherwise is to deny my own nature "oh but u can do what u want and then sell it" why is everything about money to you why cant u just enjoy things at what point in ur life did u forget how to have fun
#i hate that this stance is also seen as childish#like i have a full time job & often have mandatory overtime i have income already#if u need to to make ends meet then thats different do what u can to help urself live as comfortably as possible#but holy fuck pleasure as an adult is not limited to sex & money & watching tv#besides u know not a single one of the people who say this are willing to actually pay what the arts worth#its like 'well not me but other people would love it!' yeah okay u know a lot of other people are going to see the#over $100 price tag and go 'i like it but not that much! other people however' like just shut up. honestly. be quiet.#if i speed ran my art and low balled myself to a $15/hour rate the lowest would still be like $120#which is not worth it AT ALL bc i just paid MORE to sit on my ass & look at eggs#and. again. is underselling myself for both experience & time. but people think $80 full body comms are too expensive#do u think im so stupid to not expect to get scammed when even 'easy' things are over $100#but no ur right why would i have fun with something when i could instead cause myself infinite stress over it perfect thanks#do not give me advice about doing comms i do not want to do comms#if u see me doing comms im in a very dire situation. like thats a last resort for me.
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live reagan reaction
#i made a fully coloured n shaded version but i hate it so much. so ure getting this instead <3#myart#inside job#inside job netflix#inside job gigi#gigi thompson#inside job dr andre#dr andre lee#andigi#reagan ridley#this is off-putting as well idont wanna look at it any longer fuck this
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50$ to print 10 of the same skin has always been so insane to me. you're telling me it's 50$ to print....only 10.....of a single skin....and that's normal. And not only is that normal, that's what's required for a skin shop. where ppl may not even sign up for 10 runs. and then you're left in the shitter with at minimum 1-4 skins nobody wanted (not to mention if some people decide not to pay afterward) that you have to just pray someone finds & buys on the auction house. And it's 50$. Uhuh. And then that's just the artist's issue and fault and we're gonna blame them instead of the fact that a 10 print run costs as much as groceries.
#dont get me started on how gems to real money is i hate it and i think its stupid but in particular its bad for uma folks#i just cant comprehend it. i know yall making FAR too much bank off uma ppl don't beg me to turn your ads back on bro youre literally fine#fr#flight rising#chimechatter#yeah fuck it ill put this in the main tag who give a shit#50$ is such a slap in the face. not even to mention how hard it can be to keep accents within the 35% range so youre only spending 25$#instead. like u have to limit ur vision. which uscks. idk. just not a fan of it purrsonally. if you are then good for you ig#i just cant support pet site png packs costing more than like 10$ each. i cant do it. inconcievable.#EDIT: got one comment that made me want to write an essay on how FIFTY DOLLARS IS GROCERY MONEY AND THE ENTIRE POINT OF THE GAME IS DECORAT#NG YOUR DRAGON SO OFC PEOPLE WANT TO DECORATE THEIR DRAGON AND MY POINT STILL STANDS THAT 50$ IS INSANE#2000G/20$ IS SO MUCH MORE REASONABLE AND Basically if you even half-defend it i'm blocking you sorry.#“”“optional”“” premium item doesnt excuse fucking grocery money cost and not everybody wants to grind their life away fulltime petsite job#anyways. my point of this edit is im turning off notifs and if you send me an ask about this i'm blocking you. goodnight
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like... what do you even mean you absolute BUFFOON
#are you fjklcjsxbfhjkneldsfd KIDDDINGNG..#all day im out here getting sucked into the hate comments like its my day job as a distraction#so ur saying theyre just purposely... playing bad in the biggest media market for funsies...#they like the heat??? the lack of production? the losing#are u fucking stupid or what like#did they not show up in the first round. i somehow missed the leafs losing in the first round again my bad#its so clear who knows nothing abt. empathy or sports period after a game like yesterday like its fhidjsklfhiejdklsfdjsflk#anyway just coming here to rant so i dont start fights online#i genuinely dont know what a dumbass take this is like. are u rlly insinuating theyre purposely slacking here bc.... ??#what do they get out of that besides money...... both of them arent gonna want LESS in their next contracts so what do u MEAN#ever considered that maybe its ur shitty vibe..... fkljsdkf#loyal fanbase my fucking ass.. yall are loyal to some fucking logo and thats it and its wild to me
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Another day and I’m STILL pissed at Ming lmao bc now I’m mad that he’s been “waiting for Joe” for 2 years. Whatchu MEAN he’s waiting? Waiting for what?? if it is not soon revealed that Ming has been using his BIG money to investigate what happened to Joe and rain hell upon the company responsible for his death wtf is he even doing? Bitch behavior
#how hard can it be to pay some ppl to figure that shit out should have BEEN done#2 months tops like???#I have no sympathy he can rot#he’s such a passive character and yet pure evil I hate it#also#why was his first move just to call Joe begging him to come back why was it not to fuck up tong and get Joe his job back wtf fuckin BUM#if ur sorry bitch then SHOW ME#Camille watches#(? I guess)#my stand in
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sharon will u PLEASE hop off my ass?? goddamn.
#girl i PROMISE you the 20$ we spent for a few packs of baby wipes is not going to destroy the college#sorry for needing something to clean kids hands after they use charcoal. my bad for wanting to keep things clean ig#but also tf??? we can buy supplies we need. this is OUR fucking money. for us to use as needed. we're not taking from any other units#do something more productive w ur time instead of threatening us over fucking baby wipes and cups#also the nerve to suggest we reduce my hours so the college can pay me less but still demand we be open 40+ hours a week#oh ure upset ur friend couldnt come in here bc we were closed? news flash sharon we deserve breaks and vacation and sick leave to#dont demand we always have our door open when ure being a bitch abt having to pay me specifically#also u literally get paid more than me. shut up.#can u tell i hate it here lol#love my job love where i work HATE the college and most people in it#rambles#uuuuuuugh
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does he know that im in love with him
#luv the way he talks about his job tbh i think it’s fucking awesome to look at a role u hated#and ask if u are solely responsible for killing the art form#no baby ur not#even if the kissing booth was a disaster#notice how he never says this shit about the mortuary collection SKDJDHDHFG#he thinks that’s art but draws the line at the kissing booth#jacob elordi#idk im not rly a jacob girly ive just been loving his interviews recently#hes so. unknowable to me LOL
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#i’m a little drunk so forgive me please but#idk if it’s like.. bc i’ve been kinda down/moody anyway recently or if it’s bc i was gone for a week or bc i’ve finally picked up on it or#what - but i feel like legit kinda isolated now in work.. not in like some awful everyone deffo hates me way but in that bs olivia laing way#like it’s taken me way too long to notice that i’m not doing a good enough job making fuckn work-friends or whatever the fuck#& it’s so hard to say if that’s like. a me issue or if that’s bc fuckin almost all the people i work w are guys so i’m not a real person t#*to them!! probs fuckin both lbr - but it’s rly not helping shit yk#bc as soon as u go in knowing that ppl are talking 2 u for politeness then ur quieter so u look worse so there’s less talking etc etc etc#great fuckin stuff - ANYWAY remembered what i actually wanted to say#which was that i went to get some drinks w a friend earlier this week and god i wish i could like. this week just do ANYTHING#get properly pissed! see people & shit properly again; i miss having a proper social life and i’ve litch never had one#this is best left to be forgotten#so let’s not tag it lol - but anyway; anyone know how to make proper friends as an adult as a compulsive nonsharer & someone w/o interests!
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I’m sorry but you camera for the show? What? I’m so high rn I can’t understand this. You see the show happen right. And you do the lights or whatever and the characters are litterally there and have you met the actors? Do u interact with them?? Is the magic of the show ruined for you because you see them go in and out of character???? Does it give you a different perspective on the show? If this is too much for you and you don’t want to interact with this message then ignore!!❤️❤️❤️
im a digital utility (/addt'l 2nd AC), so unless im covering one of the 2nds, i basically just set up all the teradek receivers/monitors so the directors, the DP, and the makeup dept can see wats happening on set without having to be on set (i change A Lot of batteries too)
and ykno, as far as the magic goes, the show had alredy sort of...stopped being as intense of an obsession for me as it used to be b4 i got the job on set, so it ended up being a somewhat natural shift once i got to see behind the curtain
like, dont get me wrong, i still have Mental Issues lmao, i am still not normal abt it, but it used to be so so so much worse nd th show rly consumed basically 100% of my headspace almost nonstop
so because i had kinda wound down b4 getting to work on set, it like...? it revived my love ig? but n a new way, w a new outlook that im happy to have. like, theres ben a change in energy n th past couple seasons anyways, so its felt p normal stepping into it in a new way too
that being said, i will just drop some old tags here:
#my position also just means i do A LOT of running around and busywork so im not like. staring @ th scenes as they go down usually#unless we're stuck in 1 location for a looong time im probably not looking @ the takes#im probably just stressing the shit out about if the batteries on the directors monitors r gonna die b4 we cut#but they move so fucking fast on set im usually rushing to move shit around instead of watching n e way#also yes i do interact with them and theyr all very very nice :)#the first time i marked a scene i was like shaking (i hate doing it on ANY set) but they all were like 'hey good job! :D'#i came into this season late and rob actually came up to me and was like 'oh ur back! was afraid u wouldnt b w us this season!'#very nice work environment. every1 is very sweet. i love all my coworkers#ask#anon#ramblings
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