#not including my customer cos. yeh just doesn’t count
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insisting on a celibacy phase was maybe a bit much but honestly it fixed me
#I’ve basically spent most of my time since puberty either with a crush or heartbroken#and as an adult that means I’m usually trying to distract myself from being sad over whoever#by dating and hooking up with other people#because that’s what everyone always said was what worked#but it doesn’t and it got me into some messy situations#whereas now sure I’m not totally healed from my last heartbreak#but I think this particular one might live w me forever#so I’m learning to live with it?#and I now don’t rly have any active crushes#not including my customer cos. yeh just doesn’t count#so I’m not crushing I’m not completely heartbroken for the first time in my life#and I have no desire to date#and I’ve been saying hey if someone I was interested in asked me out I wouldn’t say no#and someone did. and he turned out to be too😬 before our date#v not good vibes can’t explain#and I’m not sad abt it#we kinda just stopped talking and I’m relieved#look im lonely in a lot of ways but that’s p much just. I wanna hang w my friends I miss my friends#and I should say big love to my fwb who’s lovely. and an actual great friend#and satisfies the physical side so I don’t have to date just to get some
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