#not just to get me to canada with my best friends but the cosplay shoot and a fulltime snuggle buddy and someone obligated to be mine😆

[alchemiclee]

need a partner or something just so we can do cute gay cosplay photoshoots together.

cynonari holding hands and walking through a garden. bronseele having a cute coffee date. things like that. that would be so fun and cute!!!

i'm already a photographer with my own equipment.

[aion-rsa]

How Ginger Snaps Explored the Subversive Horror of Womanhood

https://ift.tt/30jSLcc

In 2000 Mission: Impossible 2 topped the box office, Gladiator triumphed at the Oscars, and the first X-Men movie ushered in a new era of superhero movies. Meanwhile in Canada, while no one was watching, a new hero was emerging. Her name was Ginger, she was a 16-year-old girl, and ok, she might have turned into a monster and killed a few people but, wow, was she a ferocious figurehead for females everywhere. 

“That’s what she’s about. She’s about fuck you, fuck the patriarchy, fuck the standard, fuck society, fuck the norm. And to me, that’s a hero,” says Katharine Isabelle, speaking with Den of Geek via Zoom from her home in Vancouver, 20 years after the film’s debut. Isabelle was just 17 when she stepped into Ginger’s very cool boots and she had no idea it would become a massive cult hit.

“When it first came out, no one fucking watched it. It did well with some critics at a few festivals, but no one cared. No one went to see it,” she recalls. “It wasn’t until it hit the VHS circuit in small town Canada that people were like, ‘Oh, Ginger!.’ Emily [Perkins, who plays Ginger’s sister Brigitte] and I thought we’d be the only people that liked it because we were weird and dark. We had no idea that through the generations it would continue to have an effect on people.”

Watching 20 years on and Ginger Snaps absolutely holds up. More than that, in fact, it looks positively progressive and even transgressive in a year where we were onto our third Scream, our second Urban Legend, and our first Final Destination. Glossy teen slashers were the thing, which didn’t often make for great parts. 

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“In the ’90s, as a 17-year-old girl it was ‘be hot, get murdered’,” says Isabelle. “There weren’t a lot of really interesting characters coming out of that, especially in my small Vancouver, Canada acting world. So to see this and be like, ‘Holy shit, this really speaks to me, I am this dark, insecure, troubled, deep, dark humored girl who feels outcast and misunderstood by everybody,’ I was just like, ‘Yes. 100%.’”

Written by Karen Walton who would go on to write for Queer as Folk and Orphan Black, and directed by John Fawcett (one of Orphan Black’s co-creators), Ginger Snaps was a fresh take on the werewolf subgenre and a brand new slant on teen horror. This was about girls for a start – sisters Ginger and Brigitte who are weird outsiders fascinated with death. Though there’s sex in the movie it’s really a love story between the two females while the only male character who we have any sympathy for is a drug dealer who has no sexual interest in either. There are dog maulings along the way, and as we head towards the climax with Ginger becoming more and more monstrous, there’s plenty of gore.

But the most scandalous splash of blood is Ginger’s own first period.

Period piece

“You never see that. The visual of bloody panties is so shocking,” says Isabelle. 

“It’s what, 2020 and we’re just seeing feminine hygiene products using red dye instead of this fucking blue shit? We’re always so mortified by this human experience that half of the people on the planet go through. And you know what? At the same time you should be, because being female is a fairly horrific fucking experience in itself. So guess what? Why don’t you fucking look at it once in a while? For it to be labeled as shocking is just so boring to me.”

It would be bold even in 2020. That color matching company Pantone only last month released a new shade of red inspired by periods as part of a campaign to end menstruation stigma shows it very much still exists. So to be this open in discussing it in 2000 in a horror movie – traditionally assumed to be the playground of young men – was a brave move.

“I remember a friend of mine, his older brother had taken his friends to see it and he was like, [Isabelle does impression of bro-tastic young man] ‘Oh yeah, we were all screaming and throwing shit at the fucking screen and then we walked out. All this fucking women shit.’ I was like, ‘Cool. Thanks, buddy. Awesome.’ Fuck you! They thought they were going to see hot girl tits and werewolf stuff and they weren’t prepared for an actual look into what the female experience is like. And they couldn’t handle it. Pussies.”

Suddenly it’s like I’m talking to wolf-Ginger, fierce, articulate, full of fire, the Ginger that punches the mean girl in the face for hurting her sister, the Ginger that isn’t going to stand for any of your shit any longer, the Ginger that could tear the flesh from your bones if she wanted to. 

The metaphor of werewolf transformation and puberty is a no brainer to Isabelle.

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“You’re going along your life perfectly fine, something happens to you, boom. In one day, you have all these strange urges, you have all these weird thoughts. Your body is completely abandoning you and morphing into something else that you are not comfortable with,” she says. “It’s a complete betrayal of everything you know and how you feel. And it creates this monster in you that you have to reckon with and deal with. It’s a brilliant allegory.”

Ginger Snaps is body horror. It’s a movie about a woman’s own body destroying her from the inside out. Before she knows what’s really going on Ginger is bleeding, weak, crippled with cramps. Weird hair starts sprouting – a shaving scene really hammers home the horror of teenagers taking razors to their legs.

But with this pain comes power. Ginger is suddenly confident, beautiful, strong, the boys at the school all desire her and she knows it. She will take who she wants and do what she wants – there’s some serious wish fulfillment going on at the same time as the trauma of her transformation.

Being Ginger

It’s not really surprising that Isabelle is so like this iconic character. She says she had an immediate affinity to Ginger – both sides of Ginger, the troubled outsider as well as the she-wolf.

“At that time, I wasn’t a good enough actor to have acted it. I just had to be myself,” she laughs, “They showed a pieced-together trailer halfway through to the cast and crew and I had a complete panic attack. It was my first panic attack, and I was like, ‘I’m fucking this up.’ This is the best character in the best movie and I clearly have no idea what I’m doing. I’m obviously the worst, this is terrible. I’m ruining this, I should just die. So all of the insecurity and the manicness…”

This just in: it’s shit being a teenage girl. Even more so when you’re 17, on location without your mother for the first time and working 18 hour days. 

“I nearly fucking died!” she says. “Towards the end, it’s like a seven hour prosthetic piece when I’m full blown werewolf. I was living off of Oreos, McCain Deep Delicious Chocolate Cake, cigarettes, and Coca Cola. It was not good. And honestly, I wasn’t a good actor. So everything in that was just me being manic and sleep deprived and upset and insecure.”

Whatever was driving it Isabelle is excellent, flitting from difficult outsider with an undercurrent of fury to a whirlwind of teenage angst, sex, hunger, and violence that feels absolutely authentic.

Becoming the wolf

The effects are practical rather than CGI, which helps Ginger Snaps not to look dated on a rewatch. Ginger transforms gradually from woman to full blown wolf over days – she’s not a traditional werewolf who only becomes a wolf during the night of a full moon, instead once she turns fully she’s not coming back. Her different looks in the movie are cool and iconic – unsurprisingly Ginger Snaps cosplay is a ‘thing’ – which pleases Isabelle. The prosthetics procedure was somewhat less pleasing, however.

“I didn’t understand what the process was,” she says. “You see it in your head like you do when you read a book or whatever, or how the movie is going to be. You don’t think of the six hours on top of your 18 hour shooting day that you’re going to be inhaling alcohol-based paint until you’re high out of your fucking mind.”

The transformation came with other obstacles too.

“The process of losing my senses was a first for me. By the time I’m in the very late stage werewolf with the hair, the contacts and the claws, I can’t see anything, I can’t hear anything, I can’t smell anything, I can’t talk. I have fangs. I had to ADR most of the movie when I have fangs in. Because I had a lisp, so I’d be like, ‘Ask Tham. He’th the exthpert.’” She says, mimicking a line from the movie. 

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“It’s just terrible. I couldn’t touch anything and there is blood all over me, and it’s drying and I was trapped in my own body nightmare. You don’t really realize that when you go into it. So now when I read scripts, ever since then, I’m very like, ‘What does that exactly mean for the physical torture I will be experiencing through the duration of this?’ Let’s take a step back and just really look at this more closely,” she laughs. 

Pain and gain

Isabelle is funny – like Ginger, she has a dark sense of humor and though we genuinely get the sense that the shoot was traumatic (“We were all fucking ill and we were shooting nights for about three weeks in a row, so you do not see daylight. You lose your mind. It wasn’t quite Apocalypse Now, but it felt like that to me when I was 17.”), she’s got great stories. Like the time she gave herself a concussion… 

“There’s a scene where I slam my head on a desk and I was like, ‘Ginger probably really slammed her head on the desk.’ So I really did it a bunch of times and then woke up the next day with a fucking full on concussion headache. They had a doctor come in because I was fucked. He gave me Tylenol T3s and I took them on an empty stomach. I’m vomiting on set and they’re holding the roll, and I’ve got a bucket I’m puking into. And then immediately I had to do the slow motion walk down the hall scene. I was so fucked they had to put tape on the floor. I couldn’t walk in a straight line. I’m so mad every time I see that. I’m like ‘Fuck, you only get so many slow motion walking down the hallway looking cool and hot in your whole career, and you really fucked this one.’” 

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Of course, it doesn’t play that way on screen. It’s a key moment in the movie and even 20 years on, Ginger’s look still stands out. Costume designer Lea Carlson put together her outfits from thrift stores to create a kind of indie/goth cool with spot on accessories for an aesthetic that matched Ginger’s newly awakened give-no-fucks vibe.

“When that infection hits and she’s got that fucking attitude, it’s like, don’t we all wish we could just walk around with that attitude like a hero?” says Isabelle.

She says she can watch the movie now and enjoy it, though she couldn’t for a while.

”I haven’t seen it in 15 years because I tend to not revisit my most awkward moments on film as a teenager,” she laughs. But she now speaks fondly of this “wonderful sisterly love story.” 

Ginger and B

She and co-star Perkins had known each other “forever” before filming began, having even been born in the same hospital and gone to the same elementary school so they auditioned for Ginger Snaps together. Perkins as the younger Brigitte (even though Isabelle is actually four years younger than Perkins) is sympathetic, awkward, vulnerable, and eventually heroic and there’s an obvious chemistry between the two. Isabelle recalls how between one of the auditions and the first time director John Fawcett came out to meet them Emily had shaved her head.

”I was like, ‘What are you doing? You’ve fucked this for us!’, I didn’t even recognize her in the room. And then thank God, we got the part. And that’s why she’s wearing this wig, this very offensive wig throughout the film…”

Why did she shave her head during casting for this movie? We can’t not ask…

“I don’t know. I don’t know. She was having a moment. She’s a very smart, progressive woman, and she was feeling her oats,” Isabelle laughs.

Despite the traumas of the prosthetics and the shoot, Isabelle has clear affection for the movie and a character who rings incredibly true even 20 years later, largely because of her authentic performance  “It connects still to this day with people who weren’t even born when it came out. And that’s always shocking to me,” she says.

So what would today’s Katharine Isabelle tell her 17 year old self, 20 years ago?

“Oh, God. Fucking suck it up, you whiny bitch.” she says, all wolf-Ginger before swapping back to pre-transformation Ginger. “No, I would be like, ‘Yo, this is good, and you’re going to be okay. You’re gonna be good, and you’re not going to hate yourself as much as you think you do. And eventually, in 17 years, you’ll be able to watch this without having a total meltdown about how obviously terrible and insecure you are.”

She pauses.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

“Isn’t that what everyone says to themselves 20 years ago? ‘You’ll be okay, don’t be so insecure, believe in yourself, you got this?’ I think that’s what everyone would say to their younger self. Also, ask for more money.”

The post How Ginger Snaps Explored the Subversive Horror of Womanhood appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/2ENE6yo

[amvkween]

☁️☁️2020 Cosplay Highlights☁️☁️

☀️ By now you’ve heard every variation of “man, what a crazy year”, and I’m trying not to look back too negatively, but rather, digest everything weird, unusual, unique or fun that happened and be content on how I made it to the end as a completely different person.

☀️ In terms of cosplay, this has been quite the year. Other than my interests in the community shifting, I think I’ve learned so much in terms of technical skills. The stuff I’ve been putting out at the end of this year certainly doesn’t showcase that hahaha, but oh man the amvkween stuff has come far.

☁️ We were ready to take the community by storm at the beginning of the year, and I think we put out some of the best stuff we’ve ever made. The costumes we put together for Katsucon, the photoshoots for our business cards and for the spring, and the Dead CMV were all back to back homeruns (in my opinion lol), and we squeezed a lot of creativity out before Canada went into lockdown.

☁️ After that, things got pretty crazy outside of cosplay- I lost my job and had to adjust to a completely different life, which simultaneously affected my creativity and passion in my hobbies. I had some photoshoot concepts planned that I was able to do at my parents house while I took some time to myself, and they turned out really well, plus they were relatively fun and easy to do, although extremely exhausting.

☀️ We had a parking lot convention to replace our beloved Anime North, which was a really great night to be goofy and stupid in cosplay. The fact that my friends are so down to cosplay naruto makes me so happy and I will forever be grateful for them and their continuous effort in my dumb adventures. I could write an essay about how much they mean to me in and out of cosplay but that’s for another time.... (I try to show my love in elaborate gifts lol)

☁️ Next came our Lips of an Angel CMV, which was fun to shoot, edit and looks pretty professional (for once lol). It may be our best looking CMV, and that’s thanks to badcosbois and lots of wine lol. I think this is where my approach to cosplay stuff started to change- that being making things that are genuinely fun to me and worrying about pleasing others after. It was also badcosbois semi-debut in a CMV, and they fricken nailed it.

☀️ Our last cosplay-heavy weekend involved the Mob Psycho and Demon Slayer shoots at my parents house again in the early fall, with the intention to do a serious Demon Slayer CMV. We got a lot of cool shots that weekend, but ultimately learned that serious CMVs are not for us. Specifically, serious CMVs are not for me- I can’t act seriously, especially without a lip sync,and it’s just not as fun to make. It’s not the kinda cosplay material I want to come out of my channel, and it left me thinking about where I want to go with this stuff, along with lots of other deep life questions haha.

☁️ We managed to crank out one last ultra-cursed CMV for Attack on Titan, which was really difficult to finish but I didn’t want to leave that project open-ended. It’s quite different than anything else we had made before- the irony was under a few more layers than usual, but I’m happy with my performance and the overall look. Editing CMVs is normally my favourite part of the whole process, and this time around I could barely get through it without anxiety coming up. It was super weird, but I decided that that was the time to really step back, put no pressure on myself to produce anything, and work on what’s going on underneath.

☀️ At this point in the year, I have a ton of ideas still, but no desire to do them right at this moment. That doesn’t mean amvkween is going anywhere, but I’m trying to be easier on myself and do things when I genuinely want to do them instead of doing it for numbers or attention, etc. I like doing cursed crusty cosplay because there are no expectations for things to look good- I can just be funny and stupid, which is all I really wanna do at the moment.

I’ve had a lot of time to think over whether or not this means I don’t wanna cosplay ever again, and have concluded that’s not true. I fricken love cosplaying, I love participating in fandoms and I love trying to find unique ways to make content. Making costumes and wearing them to cons to show the world your hard work is such a rewarding experience, and going to Katsucon this year was the best thing that happened to me, as well as a huge accomplishment for my ‘amvkween’ channel/content/whatever you wanna call it.

I’ve never been consistent in putting stuff out, so that hasn’t changed lol it’s just become more infrequent. That doesn’t mean I don’t care any less, I am still just as passionate in this hobby as I always was, I’m just trying to be easier on myself during these major shifts in life. It’s really fricken hard, I just wanna be back to how things were sometimes, but each day things start to get a lil clearer and better.

So now I am left with this novel I wrote, and I want to end it by thanking all of my cosplay friends and followers that have been with me through this year. Whether it was the worst year of your life, the best, or somewhere in between, I’m so happy you’re all here and you should be very proud of making it to this point. Your support- whether it be likes, comments, retweets, duets, tags or just checking to see I’m still here once and a while makes me so unbelievably happy. My favourite part of doing this is interacting with other people who are just as excited by the thing that I am excited about from all over the world, and every day brings a new lil experience.

You will find me more frequently on Tik Tok at the moment, but I’m always here on IG, Twitter or Youtube too. I’m about to finish Naruto Shippuden, which has really taken over my life lol so I’ll be crying about that.

If you made it to the end of this, thanks for reading, and yes, I have no shame and love sharing way too much of myself on the internet lol. Idk I like to be transparent and connect with others thru this… to add more personality behind the pics and videos… call me a child of the internet or whatever you want.

Hope you all have a wonderful New Year, I’ll see you guys soon!!!!! 💖💖💖💖💖💖

[yumenosakiacademy]

metr0con 2019 thursday diary

Cosplayed: tsuka-sa suou, summer uniform, w my burger king crown n my leo sign. Breakfast: ramen. Snack: none, but i did bring a package of poptarts.

This is for future me, so i’d prefer if ya didnt read but i mean. w/e.

Okay so.. I had a crappy morning and I only slept for 2 hours BUT! Con tiiiime! I got there and arrived at the hetalia panel a few minutes late but that's okay, it wasn't by many. I remembered I asked sealand during truth or dare n he said dare n I asked him to reenact his favorite fortunate dance n he was like "oh I've been waiting for this" or smth and later, I asked him how his gamer youtube channel was doing n america was like “oh dude i was ur 5th subscriber!!” n sealand was like “subscribe to me plss” n america was like “dont forget to like n subscribe. n receive notifications.” n someone dared canada to b as loud as america n she yelled when they said “be as loud as you were when u lost to russia in hockey”. at another part, someone asked america if she would rather never eat fast food again or save sealand from falling into a volcano n she hugged sealand n said “my lil bro!”. someone dared america to speak in proper english and she was all “oh pip pip cheerio” and mocking england haha

at the end of the panel, a girl came up to me n she said she liked my costume n i was like “!! r u into ES??” and they said “almost” or like. kinda or smth but they took my picture n i felt so happy gjhns

OKAY then i tried to go to the adventure t!me sing-along n q+a panel but they only did truth or dare for a few minutes n im not big into AT anyway so i wasnt rly having fun then they decided to start the singalong when they got the wifi working via someone turning on their hotspot but i had a bad throat so i just left the panel and then had abt 4 hrs to walk around! aw jeez, right?

while on my walk i saw a riku n got their pic n i was like “male idols unite hell yea” n we talked for a bit n they were talkin abt a boy idol series they had heard abt called dank!ra n i mentioned i had also heard abt that! i also came across someone who said they liked my costume or knew who i was (someone in a red beret) n we were talking abt ES n i was like “best boys go” n they said shu and i think keito n i was like “chiaki n mika.. theyre baby” n they were like “ryuse!ta! n rabitz r the most baby in ES” n i was like “oh dude those r my fav units.....” at some point, i saw kuro again!! i saw them but was too shy then later they spotted me as i walked past them n went “tsukasa!!” n i turned around n i was like “erin!!!” n i hugged them n the beret person was there too bc they were their friend apparently and kuro said they were just gonna b kuro for thursday (they were cosplaying summer uniform!kuro like they did in a previous yr) n they just wore it cuz they were hot n went “summer uniform solidarity” (bc i was summer uniform!tsukasa) n we fist bumped and i was digging around my shirt pocket to show them my souma keychain n they were like “oh dude u reaching into ur pocket reminded me i need to get smth from my pocket. i hav Fangs” n they put on costume fangs! eventually they started looking at jojo figures at the stall we were next to n we eventually parted.

at some point, the person running the itabag booth (theyre an ES fan, i kno. their site has ens-tars itabags in the examples gallery n they cosplayed ES last yr) saw me n went “ousama!” bc of my sign n i went over n they were like “guess what ia ctually got to meet arashis va last week” n i was like “RLY??” n they were showing me their arashi itabag n they were like “yea i got to shake his hand n everything aaa. n during his talk/panel (?) i kept showing off my arashi stuff as if to say “I LOVE ARASHI” n i was like “arashi is best knights member.. ara-nee............”

at some point my crown fell off while i was on the escalator? i tried to go back for it but it was gone in the Minute it took me to ride te up escalator? i assumed someone took it to wear but kenyan said someone mightve thrown it away..

i went to metro night live n it wasnt all that funny?? idk what to talk abt from it. they did a “luigi being a gamer” video series n one of them was him playing hotl!ne miami (not knowing it was violent) n he was like “ive never been to florida but i guess this is a game to simulate it!” n it said “proloogue: the metro” n he was like “oh like the convention!” n when the mask selection came up he was like “oh look we can even cosplay!” n he went thru the door n saw one of the mafia members n went “look! a congoer! hello- oh” n accidentaly shoved one of the guys down n he was like “can i help you up-” but then the character (jacket) smashed the guys head in w the button press n luigi went “....o-oh. uh-” and some of the other games were fortnite n he played a violent game n he was like “THERE IS NO GOD HERE NOW” or w/e. they also had an “Edgelords anonymous” skit in which reaper was a new member of the group but it ended w ruby r0se describing brutal ways to kill people (while listing em cheerily) n the others being disturbed n alucard ending the session.

at 7 i had nothing so i walked around. then when 8 hit, i was gonna go to Whose Line Is It Anime but apparently its time had been changed to 7 pm?? the 8 in “8:00-9:00 pm” was scribbled out in sharpie on the schedule board in front of the room n it said 7 pm but now that i think abt it.. i think they meant 7-9 pm. ....shit. oh god damn it. anyway i got sad n left then since it was kinda empty/slow bc it was nighttime, i sat down on a wall thing to open up my sougo plush keychain n some guy next to me started talking to me abt my nails and we got ot talking n apparently he had wanted to go to the dealers room but didnt kno they closed @ 8 n he was here w friend n only had a single day pass bc he had work the other days (his name was spencer) so he was just lounging and i suggested he tell his friends what he wanted n they get it for him if they hav weekend passes n asked if he knew abt the game room n he said no so i invited him to go play smash w me so we went but couldnt figure out how things worked bc there were many consoles n screens w games, but mosst had no controllers but it turns out u borrow the contollers w ur con pass! kenyan was there running the controller borrower table. he said “psst” bc he saw me n i ws like “kenyan!!!” n hugged him n he was like “hows ur weekend going dear” n i said not that great but only bc it was thursday! also my throat hurt” n he was like “did u drink?” n i was like “well.. i have water but..” n he was like “drink juice. it’ll help. that’s what ur dad wwould say” (he woukdnt) anyway we got our controllrs and started playg smash n i went, in order: joker, robin, chrom, bayonetta, greninja n he was teaching me how to play w the gamecube controller (im used to a wiimote) n he beat me every time but i had fun!

after that i was GONNA go to the v-ld panel but i looked inside while walking by n there werent many ppl so i said “okay lets go to the BB panel then. take a look” so i went in there n there were a TON of ppl anyway it was kind of boring bc im not big on murder mysteries n stuff but apparently someone solved it by saying ciel slipped n fell, no one murdered him. then they did the raffle n i didnt win but thats okay! most ppl left after the raffle ended n q+a started n i couldnt hear many ppls’ questions anyway so i was bored n thought of goint to the vl-d panel but ended up not but w/e! oh! also everyone received candy at the beginning of the panel n i ahd a mystery lollipop n it turned out to b birthday cake flavor! id never had that before. it was Good.

after that i was just wandering around n i called dad to startdriving there but the ciel i asked for a picture of, them n their friends were gawking at my nails ns tuff n one of the teens’ dads was like “how do ya pick ur nose w it??” but after that, as i was wandering around, the gundam id sen earlier that day saw me n waved n i said oh hi n went over n they (it was them n an izuru) were like “wanna hang out w us for a while?” so i was like “oh. shoot. id luv too but im waiting for my dad to pick me up” n theyw ere like “it’s okay we can just hang out til then, then, if ya’d like” so i hung out w them n the gundam was talking abt how earlier, a mukuro complimented them on their outfit n they returned the compliment n went to leave n the mukuro was like “uumm arent u gonna hang out w me? we’re from the same series n all” n they were like “not w that f***in attitude” n i was like “did ya rly say that?” n they were like “yea. ppl dont expect me ta hav attitude” n we also talked abt piercings n how i said they seemed cool n goth (the gundam had a nose ring n the izuru had a piercing near their mouth) but how it must hurt n they said it just feels like a pinch. at some point i roled over my bag so my sougo wouldnt get dirty n the izuru saw my rei button n mentioned smth abt only findin one rei button at the idol table n i was like “UR INTO ES???” n they were like “i just kno undead n a few other characters. like [points @ my leo sign] i kno him” n i went “he’s dumbass supreme” n the gundam was talking abt getting the rythm game n i was like “jut read the stories on the wiki the game is boring imo” n the izuru backed me up by saying it wasnt a rhythm game n a lil while later, i showed them the 2 cool rei cgs n i was like “big sexe” n they agreed but the izuru had said theyd seen the croassroads one i showed em (the first of the 2) n the gundam said they wnted to cosplay bloody banquet rei (the other cg i showed em) n the izuru said they wanted to cosplay them All gjhnsm i showed them ryu-seitai too n showed them undead n gundam showed an interest in adonis! we also talked abt k!n stuff n all that! im not gonna go into detail on that (esp bc it’s so late rn as im typing!) but gundam was like “i dont trust junko k!n. like, evreyone else, yea, but junko? no. or like, any other character that’s just so irredeemably shitty”. oh they also talked abt this one messy, ugly, tangly junko wig they found for $300 which shouldnt have been that much n it was just a mess of tangles. anyway t’s getting late oh gosh. anyway they said they’d b on the lookout for me tomorrow so we can say hi again! 

random fun fact: SO many ppl complimented my nails today gjhnsm

[authoramandawilson]

I screwed up.

Severely.

I committed the biggest, most horrendous crime as a writer and mental health advocate.

I forgot to update my blog over the last month.

*Cue Psycho violin screech music*

In my defence, most of September and October have been a whirlwind of non-stop hustling and bustling, and it was only my birthday weekend past that I realized how much I put my blog on the back burner in an attempt to keep up with other writing demands.

And let’s be realistic, being a stay-at-home, freelance writer doesn’t mean I get lots of free time. Most days I’m barred up in my writing den with my cats and dog, smashing my keyboard as I try to get projects done while fuelled by one too many ice caps and chai lattes.

Should I have been paying more attention to my blog? Yes. Am I an idiot for putting off this recent post? Oh, yeah! Could I have been more attentive? Hell yes, but sometimes life has a way of drifting to more pressing matters, and sometimes you gotta sacrifice in one area in exchange for something else.

In lieu of putting Fighting the Good Fight on a brief hiatus, I spent the last six weeks focusing on promoting Lemonade Stand and travelling for my unofficial (and very underpaid) book tour. I spent over two weeks travelling around Newfoundland, personally delivering books to fans, friends, and family. I racked up km’s on my Rav, I spent way too much money at Tim Hortons (on ice caps and blueberry muffins, of course) and took a few days here and there to spend time with long-lost friends and family.

How I kept up with everything over the last six weeks is beyond me, and the thought that after Tuesday we’re heading into the Christmas season, I’ll be lucky if I keep up with all the demands and expectations. (Lets hope I do!)

That’s not to say I didn’t have fun over the last few weeks either. I get to spend every day doing something I love – writing and more writing. I get to lose myself in my manuscripts and recently, I’m really into writing a lot of poetry. (Thanks Rupi Kaur!) At the end of the day, it’s a lot of pain and fun, but I couldn’t be happier.

(Now if only I could stick to a better sleep schedule.)

So in ode to a crazy, fun, busy, and overwhelming six weeks, I decided to compile a list of all the adventures I have been losing myself in. So settle in, grab an ice cap, and enjoy the highlight reel.

Getting to Play Band Groupie to Rough Hands

What’s better than best friends and great local music?

When they’re together of course!

I was lucky enough to have my friends from the band Rough Hands on the west coast, lending them a place to crash and spending time together toward the end of their Eastern Canada tour. It was a very impromptu stay, but we had fun and I was thankful to get to see some faces I haven’t seen in a while. Their show was absolutely fantastic and I was giddy to play band groupie for the weekend.

Seriously, check them out. Luke and this band mates are making some great music. They’re 100% gonna make it to the big leagues – no doubt about it!

(Just remember who offered you a bed and shower when you’re rich and famous some day. 😉 )

Check them out here and here!

*Out of the Dark is available on iTunes!*

Book Launch and Unofficial Province Book Tour

Mid-September, after I spent several days personally signing books and writing messages to all the 110 wonderful people who personally bought Lemonade Stand off of me, I packed up my Rav4 and headed across NL to promote and deliver my book to masses.

Through my book tour, I got to meet a lot of new people, listen to other people’s struggles with mental health issues, and talk book writing. It was a great and exhausting two weeks travelling around (and getting lost a few times!). Don’t worry, I plan to honour this experience in a future blog post. (Coming soon!)

Chris de Burg Concert and St. John’s Adventures

In all fairness, I had other motives besides my book tour to head across the province. I had tickets booked to Chris de Burg’s concert with my mama. Having Mom raise me on the right kind of music, I have only been waiting to see him live since I was thirteen. With the launch of his new cd A Better World, it didn’t take much begging and pleading for Mom to agree to come with me.

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I was excited beyond belief when he walked out on stage. I laughed. I cried. I sang at the top of my lungs. (Sorry Mom.) I danced wildly around in my seat. (Sorry Mom.) I clapped a lot and cheered super loud (Again, sorry Mom.), but I had the time of my life. One of the best concerts I’ve been to at Mile One (and that includes The Backstreet Boys). And lets just say, I wasn’t the only one losing my cool when he ended the show with “Patricia the Stripper”. (Right, Mom? 😉 )

 I also planned things for my wedding and finally got to say Yes to the Dress! It took a few hours, a mild panic attack and a few happy tears later, but I’m glad to finally have another item checked off the Thomas Wedding list.

In addition to all the wedding fun, I curbed my adventures back to book research and with the help of my best friend, I spent some time exploring St. John’s, making sure that I was getting details and descriptions right for my upcoming NL novel.

Besides I got to spend a lot of time on Signal Hill, taking in the view (despite the cold) and I finally got to see the Canada 150 sign while getting to pose for some pictures with my bestie at the historic site. I also got to see Quidi Vidi for the first time ever, which was a real treat. (It’s pretty bad I lived here my whole life and I’m only now seeing great land marks. Fail.)

Despite acting like a tourist, I did get a lot of information for my manuscript and I know it will all pay off in the long run when my NL novel is finally complete.

You’re welcome in advance.

    Working on my NL Novel

Once I concluded my book tour, and book research, and my mini vacation home, I finally mucked back to Corner Brook and remained held up in my writing den for weeks on end. While still trying to working on getting We Were Fighters published (and exploring self-publishing options as well), I’ve been spending a lot of time on my new manuscript, a fiction novel based in my home province of Newfoundland.

Knowing that only publishing houses here on The Rock will only take on NL content manuscripts, I’m hoping that this could be my first foot in the door to getting my novels out there. Within three weeks I had banged out over a hundred plus pages, turning my eyes and brain to absolute mush. As I mentioned before, being a writer is lots of pain and fun, and despite being hooked on caffeine and severely sleep deprived, I’m having a lot of fun writing this novel and creating a small taste of NL culture.

But with the goal to have the manuscript finished before Christmas, I still have a long way to go! Writer’s block had me stuck a few times and as a haphazard writer who doesn’t write in linear fashion, I find myself getting caught up in wanting to write the exciting parts vs. “the middle”. A terrible flaw on my behalf.

But don’t worry, I’m a pretty disciplined writer and with less than a hundred pages to go, I’m hoping that by 2018, this could be a potential published work.

Wish me luck.

  Hiking and Halloween Birthday

Of course, October isn’t my favourite month just because CB is absolutely one of the most beautiful places in the world during the fall. I also get to look forward to a string of friends’ birthdays (including my own) and of course, Halloween and lots of horror movies!

While admittedly, October brought about a brief depression episode, I still managed to trudge through most of my writing duties, even if it felt like pulling teeth some days (and bouts of relentless anxiety). A week leading up to my birthday, I could barely pull myself out of bed, and tragically, I lost one of my childhood pets. My dear cat Sam, who was lucky to have eighteen long years of life. He made his journey over the Rainbow Bridge the day before my birthday, so celebrating this year was followed with fleeting moments of sadness and mourning.

Rest peacefully, old man. ❤

But despite losing one of my oldest pals, I did get to spend a wonderful weekend in Gros Morne, hiking with the crowd to celebrate one of my friend’s birthdays. While it was cold, we were severely hungover, and it snowed, we managed to hike Green Gardens without coming across any bears and barely escaping the obvious signs of a huge-ass bull moose. All in all, a successful trip up the Coast.

Thankfully though, I got to end October on a high note. Not only did my birthday fall on a Friday this year, I also got to have a Halloween birthday party with my best friends. Following a week of bad anxiety and fatigue, and the death of my kitty cat, my birthday turned out to be a great night of friends, fun, and laughter – and really how could I ask for more? 

Considering I spent the last two Halloweens either working or stuck on the couch with the stomach flu, I was glad I finally got to put my Phoenix costume to good use. After a few weeks of practicing cosplay makeup and putting finishing touches on my costume, I was able to bring one of my favourite X-Men characters to life. Of course, Zack gave Hugh Jackman a run for his money as a Logan/Wolverine look-a-like.

Besides, we had fun putting off a very funny – and very drunk – photo shoot. We had comic book heroes from all universes, we had some crossover hybrid characters, and witches. But hey, having Lego Batman there was definitely the most fun – especially when trying to watch your bestie struggle to drink through that face mask.

My birthday was a great end to a fast-paced month. Despite all the chaos, and work loads, and the threats of approaching deadlines, it was nice to take a few nights just to enjoy company with those I care about most. Sometimes we get lost in the mundane of every day life, and sometimes we get too caught up in our own lives to remember to spend time with others. So I was grateful for the few moments of peace and hilarity in a busy schedule. ❤

Even though I had lost track of time and let six weeks zip by without realizing how much I had been neglecting my duties to my blog, I am thankful for the chaos and havoc that has been my life for the last several weeks.

Autumn has come and gone before I realized it, and give it a few more day, there will likely be snow on the ground. While I am no where near ready for winter, and even less prepared for the enclosing Christmas season, I’ve been reflecting lately on how lucky I have been this last year – getting to spend my time perusing my writing career. It’s far from perfect, and I’m making nickels compared to the dollars I was making serving tables, but I’m the happiest I’ve been in months, and that’s all that matters. Happiness is all that matters – it’s that hard and that simple.

So what if it means cutting back on ice caps and lattes or spending more nights eating in than out? Being “poor” doesn’t mean being unhappy. I had a great fall and instead of ending this blog post on a big sappy metaphor – how my life is changing like the colour of the leaves (See what I did there?), I’m getting one more season closer to my dreams.

So sometimes life gets hectic and I ignore my duty to my blog.

Sometimes I fall behind on writing duties at the expense of other writing projects, and sometimes I forget to reach out to friends and family more often than not – but that’s life. I’ve been on a wild ride these last two months and I can only wait with anxious breath about the impending winter adventures that I’m sure are in store.

Worst comes to shove, I can always write an apology blog post to make up for it all.

So here’s to next season, and the next blog post. I’ll see you guys soon.

And as always,

Fight the good fight.

-A xo

Adventures, (Unofficial) Book Tour, Endless Ice Caps, Manuscript Writing, and Blog Fails I screwed up. Severely. I committed the biggest, most horrendous crime as a writer and mental health advocate.

[hanaeru]

When Kal is like your ex-friend is loosing out on cutting you out of her life. But every time I see her comment on something on a mutual friend’s account. It’s like what the fuck. Did I do something wrong? Is it me? Is it because I stopped letting you use me for rides all the time? Like when you initiated most of the outings to pacific mall or to go to the mall or to go to value village. And really never chipped in for any gas money. 

And how do you have the audacity to lie to me. It’s something small. But when I asked you if you can take pictures of my cosplay your words were “I don’t really do cosplay photography anymore”. Yeah ok, sure. 

Like I’m trying to get over this. But whenever you comment on mutual friends facebook stuff its like what the fuck. Also saying stuff like “GIRL I DEFINITELY WANT TO TAKE PICTURES OF THIS WHEN ITS DONE or “Eyyy, i dont have much to do on saturday, just hangin out at the park, you wanna do a shoot? ” even though you said “I don’t really do cosplay photography anymore”.

Also you block and unfriend me from, I’d assume everything, just cause I keep asking how you’re doing as a friend. And for god’s sake you only message me back if you want something. AKA.  A FUCKING RIDE TO THE MALL ON BOXING DAY. and i said sure, but you changed your mind cause my dad was driving. AND THEN YOU FUCKING CHANGE YOUR MIND AGAIN CAUSE OUTSIDE IS SLIPPERY. BUT LIKE I FUCKING TOLD YOU WE WERE GOING AND YOU SAID NO SO LIKE WHAT THE FUCK. and you sold the full metal alchemist figures i bought you. I only bought them for you cause you complained we all went to anime north but didn’t buy you anything. and i made you buttons of Henry from Super Junior in highschool but i don’t think you really cared lololol. 

Like Im not making a list but tbh the gifts even for just christmas or bdays is pretty nonexistant. 

Gifts from me to you:

- gloom bear

- art work of karkat

- poster of the robins

- buttons of Henry

- FMA chibi plushies

You to me:

- a red shirt you don’t use anymore

All i’ve gotten back is grief to be really honest. Sure some good times. But all the bad out weights it all. Like I’ve tried my best to be a good friend. Supporting you with your struggles. Like I really don’t know what you want from me. 

LIke when you walked off from our group at fairview and i tell you to let me know when you get home, I’m not being cute. I’m concerned about your safety lololol. 

Or like how I wanted to stay longer at the anime picnic or during canada day but you wanted to go home early and I didn’t say anything. I wanted to stay longer and be with my friends. Sometimes I wished I never became close friends so I could spare myself the pain.

Like I’m just angry and bitter and sad. Cause I thought we were going to be friends for a long time. We were, but you basically stabbed it to death.