#not me writing a whole ass chapter fic for zutara week!

[zutarasecrettunnel]

For Zutara Week 2021 Day 6: Spirits

Your Face, I See

Synopsis: The war is over for everyone but Katara, who keeps seeing the scarred face of the boy who sacrificed himself for her and for the world, everywhere she looks. When she finds out why she is experiencing these so-called hallucinations, she may be led right into a trap centuries in the making.

Read Chapter 1 here or on AO3:

After the war, scars were everywhere.

The earth lay scorched, trees stood singed, soldiers returned mangled to their homelands. The blemishes of war seemed to stain every surface, no mark more personal than the other, all a collective memory of survival for a world too long drenched in strife. None except for the mark that constantly haunted the waterbender. That mark was familiar. Each surface seemed to contain the same ragged skin, the same aged trauma, the same golden eyes.

It had been three months since she had escaped war into peacetime physically unscathed but obliterated nonetheless. Three months of seeing the scar that marked him, the banished prince of the Fire Nation, in nearly every object and landscape that entered her vision. It started in the Fire Nation palace only a week after the cacophony of flame and lightning that had ended the 100 Years War for good. Flickering flames cast the shadow of ruined layers of flesh, folded in on themselves like the staggering billows of crimson curtains they would appear behind. For months she stifled gasps as cat-like eyes seemed to watch her from around the imposing columns of the nation's grandest hall. Flashes, like the one that had taken him during the blaze of Sozin' comet, nothing but small jolts appearing out of nowhere like the snapping of a campfire during a ghost story.

The first time she saw him she almost believed he was real. His face had appeared in the blackness of the doorway of her borrowed chambers one night as she sat rocking at the edge of her bed, having only just awoken from another nightmare. In the soft candleglow, she had almost believed he had miraculously returned. This face was the one she remembered - taciturn, loyal, fragmented, handsome. It was not the ashen face of suffering he had held before finally succumbing to his family's dynasty of cruelty while his sister shrieked in her chains. This face, the one she had so long ago described as the face of the enemy, was the one she had begged the spirits to let her see ever since the Fire Sages had whisked his lifeless form away from her in the smoky aftermath of the Agni Kai.

But that's all it was. His face, unaccompanied by a body, and fading almost as soon as she had been able to adjust her eyes to the sight - a one-time hallucination brought on by sleeplessness. Just another aspect to the nightmare she was experiencing while awake and asleep, a side effect of watching a boy who had quickly become one of her closest friends die in her arms. As the plain blackness returned, so did Katara's heartbeat, sputtering back to work as if it had forgotten its role in her body and only just now remembered it had to keep her alive. She blinked again and again, feeling wetness on her cheeks. She would not sleep for the rest of the night.

It wasn't until the next time she saw him that she started to become concerned. His face appeared again ten days later, this time emanating from the bark of the willow tree near the royal turtleduck pond, illuminated plainly by the midday rays of the Fire Nation sun.This time it could not be blamed on candlelight and tired eyes. The waterbender gasped, dropping the rice ball she held. It rolled ungracefully into the pond, immediately being devoured by a small family of turtleducks.Her companions stopped their own consumption at the sound of her sharp intake. Sokka stared at his sister with concern. Suki followed her stare to the willow tree, looking back at the younger girl puzzled. Toph was the only one who continued nibbling absentmindedly on her own rice ball as if she hadn't noticed Katara's outburst at all.

"What is it?" Aang's voice broke through Katara's shock. She blinked, and already the second hallucination of the prince was gone.

"N-nothing," she stuttered, trying to recover, "it's nothing. I thought I saw a cave hopper and I-I-I thought they only lived in the caves!" She felt a reassuring touch on her elbow, looking to see Sokka offering a half-smile. He had noticed the deep circles forming under her eyes, the way any upturn of her mouth never reached them. Unsure of what else to do, he offered his presence as some semblance of reassurance to his sister, trying to impart that he was there for her no matter what.

"Oh," was the only response from the Avatar, hesitation clear in the single syllable. He hated seeing Katara like this, jumpy and anxious. None of them had been the same since Zuko had entered the spirit world, despite how they had all tried to move on. They had gotten everything they had worked for, an end to the century-long suffering of the four nations, but the cost seemed as if it was too great to bear. He worried he would never see the carefree Katara he had spent so much time trying to cultivate in the overburdened young girl again. The world was finally better, finally the way she deserved it to be, and yet he still couldn't make her happy.

The already somber mood of the group's lunch only soured more. It was then Katara decided she would work harder at keeping the ghostly image of the fire prince at bay, or at least keeping her hallucinations to herself. Despite her silent commitment, the visions only got worse. As time went on they became more frequent. First it became every day, then what seemed like every hour. Everywhere she went in the palace, in the streets of the capitol marketplaces, and even on the shores where she sought the healing nature of her element. Every inch of this vibrant and troubled nation was haunted for her, from the planned peace festivals to the pop-up protests of the now displaced ruling class. She stayed to help Aang restore order, working to ensure the stability of the nation her friend had so dearly loved, the nation whose honor he had sacrificed everything for.

With the increase in frequency of the hauntings, so increased the abject panic rising in Katara. It was becoming more difficult to hide her affliction from the others. After months of torment, while floating secluded in the star-speckled waves of a small, hidden inlet not far from the crater's edge, she finally asked for help.

The rising tide sent salt water lapping at her skin, while her eyes caused it to flood her face. She would often seek healing in these waters, but had so far been unsuccessful in drowning her grief. Tonight she basked in Yue's light, and finally got the courage to beg her celestial friend for relief.

She wasn't sure it would work, ignorant to the communication abilities of the spirits, but desperation consumed her. She had heard Sokka try talking to the moon shortly after they had left the Northern Water Tribe, sadness laden in his usually upbeat voice. She suddenly wondered if he had also seen visions of the princess after she had left them.

"Please, spirits. Please, Yue," she began her sorrowful overture to the large lunar surface overhead, floating parallel to the enormous heavenly body. "Why do I keep seeing him? Why do I keep seeing Zuko?"

She swallowed hard in the ensuing silence, trying to wait patiently for an answer. She was met only with a quiet, steady glow. Eyes closed tightly in despair, she listlessly started swimming back to the shore. As she neared the empty beach she heard the velvety cadence of the moon spirit speak softly between her ears.

"I know you miss him."

Katara froze in the water, settling upright, her toes sinking into silky sand. The ocean still covered her up to her shoulders. The voice arose in her again.

"Tui and La must circle each other in an eternal dance. One is not complete without the other. This is not what was meant to be," she explained. "Your anguish has pierced even the spirit world, and many have taken note."

Katara let her body sway loosely in the waves as she listened intently, her sand-covered feet her only anchor to this world.

"There are some that might use-" The sweet tones emanating from the pale night sky were sharply interrupted by a graveled voice. The new voice called out loudly, direct and authoritative.

"Katara!"

At the sound of that voice calling her name, she snapped her body toward the beach, searching the dimly lit shore for it's source. She hesitated for only a split second, taking one last glance at the moon, before summoning a grand swell of ocean to deliver her directly to the dry sands. Once ashore, she continued seeking the source of the voice. Her eyes darting from dark cliffs to jagged palm fronds, her heart beating wildly.

Finally she saw it, and immediately crumpled into the sand.

It was his face again, staring back at her from a rocky, moonlit crag. Just as it had been the hundred times before, his expression was serene, tranquil. Except this time it changed. This time the face curled into a twisted smile, an expression more suited for the deposed Phoenix King than his son. She stared, horrified, watching the distorted lips form the syllables of her name over and over. When it turned, revealing a hulking, segmented body like that of an enormous centipede, she finally screamed.

She could hear Zuko's voice continuing to call her name, begging her to help him, as she quickly picked herself off the ground and darted past the monster back toward the palace, heading recklessly into the heavy night.

[emletish-fish]

7. what is you favorite sentence/paragraph? read it to us! (asker can choose what fic) (x)

I chose three! One from each of my 'big fics'. No Zombies, Worst Prisoners and Good Boys under the cut:

NO ZOMBIES:

No Zombies was a delight to write. I had pretty much the whole idea from the get-go, (of a returned style AU with Hector coming to spend time with the family in the modern world). I finished it quick - and it's not too long (side-eyeing Good Boy and Worst Prisoner). It was the first fic where I felt like I really "stuck" the landing. I was quite flexible with my original outline, but I still knew where the journey ended. It ended exactly how I wanted it too - happily but with a bitter-sweet note.

The emotional core of this story is how Elena, family matriach, who is so gruff and no-nonsense, who despises Hector in the films, and who has such a warm heart under such a grumpy exterior would slowly soften and come to love Hector, (and how she grows as a person because of this and becomes more comfortable showing love/emotions to her family). It was like a platonic slow-burn as she learns to understand Hector better - which is why this bit is my favourite because it's where she starts to really feel fond of him for the first time:

“Well, I'm just glad I'm a better teacher for him than watching old Ernesto De La Cruz movies.” Héctor had replied with a wry smile. “It's probably because I'm so much more handsome than that butt-chinned, over-the-top ham.”

“Because you're a pointy-chinned, over-the-top ham?” Elena replied, feeling surprising witty. She never made teasing jokes like this normally, but it was so easy with Héctor.

He looked mock-offended. “I'll have you know, my chin is wonderful and I've given it to several of your grandchildren, so there.”

If Elena was a different person, she probably would have pulled Héctor into a warm, laughing hug then. She might have told him seriously that Miguel had always been difficult for her. He felt things so strongly and got so upset and emotional – she'd always struggled with how to help him, how to calm him. Miguel was so happy now. She knew that was because of Héctor.

She might have told Héctor that he was at least six thousand times the musician, eight thousand times the teacher, and ten thousand times the man that Ernesto De La Cruz was.

But Elena was who she was.

Instead she said “Idiot,” and ruffled his stupidly messy hair rather fondly.

She told herself she wasn't warming to the fool musician, but she knew it was a lie.

GOOD BOY:

My current work. It's another platonic slow-burn, but this time set in the Cobra Kai universe with son and father pair - Robby Keene and Johnny Lawrence. In the show, these two characters have such a dysfunctional relationship that is so full of miscommunications and missed chances, and they genuinely want a better relationship (and it would be so healing for both of them! Do not get me started!) I lean much more into the magical realism in this story, as I turned Robby into a dog (Animal transformation - PIXAR's Brave style), so that he could immediately get the cuddles and easy affection he so clearly needs.... because I have never seen a more touch/affection-starved character aside from Zuko in ATLA.

This also gave Robby a chance to really understand, not only his father, but the other people in his cicrcle. He discovered he had a support network. He got to know he was loved by many. he got to witness the actions people would take as they searched for human-him (not knowing that he'd been turned into a dog). And it gave Johnny a chance to learn how to take care of something, feel needed, and express his love for his son without the weight of their complicated history/his own trauma hanging over him. It was hard to pick a favourite, but I will say the Johnny-stream-of-conciousness chapters are definitely the easiest/most fun to write. One of my favourite bits is in the first one, The queen of ice-cream runaway when Johnny tells Robby about when Laura (his grandmother) found out Shannon was pregnant and she was going to be a grandmother.

It's the first inkling Robby gets that while his father wasn't there for him and he was neglected a lot, Johnny did his best to keep the bad shit from his own childhood away from Robby as his own way of showing care. It hints at the deep and damaging abuse Johnny endured. When he finally had a say with his own kid, he would have done anything to protect Robby from feeling the same. I'd say here is where Robby really begins to warm to his Dad;

Then I told her our chosen name and she said I was a dumbass and Swayze was a terrible middle name, and we had to change it to some shit like Alastair or something. She thought he should have a rich sounding middle name. And I say Mom, Alastair sounds like some lame-ass insurance broker who upskirts his secretary and then cries as he jerks off to the pictures, what else you got? She thought Sebastian, and that was worse! What a pussy name.  Sebastian is going to be sitting in the little french patisserie cafe drinking the tiny-ass coffee for dolls and eating the éclair with his prissy finger tips. I already want to kick Sebastian's ass. Who wouldn’t? I’m not going to give my kid a name that is going to get his ass kicked.

And she couldn't talk, cause she named me after Johnny Cash, just cause she liked his music. And she couldn't think of a middle name at the time, so I didn't get one. Thank goodness. I could have ended up Johnny Alastair and had to kick my own ass.

So Swayze stayed.

Then she mentions how she and Sid can help out, so I didn't need to do the two jobs, stupidly long hours thing. And we need the money. I know we need the money. But my whole body froze and I just went No. None of that for little Robby Swayze. ...

... She’s going on about spending Sid’s money on Robby and I just...I can’t. I can't allow it. Cause I knew how he would be, and the way he would treat that kid. So I tell her, no thank you. Not a fucking cent mom.  Sid’s not getting to feel like he owns a hair on Robby’s head. That motherfucker can go jump. You thought we needed Sid’s money when I was a kid. You decided it was better for me, and that was your choice. I did not get a vote in that. But this is my kid, and this time it is my call, and I am choosing no. I’m not going to have Sid make my kid feel like he has to apologise for existing every day. I'm not going to have Sid treat my kid the way he treated me. I will never need money that badly. I will never put my kid through that. I'll work myself to the bone doing 20 hour days before that. I'll work on the 40th floor without a harness before that.  I will sell my fucking organs before it comes to that. Not a cent mom.

WORST PRISONER:

My 'what if Zuko made friends with the Gaang early on?" AU that then turned into a three-book long saga (and I will return to it, Worst Prisoner readers - Thank you for you patience). It does have evenutal Zutara, but the focus is really on the Gaang + Zuko as a whole, and all the interpersonal relationships. I'd say there is more gen-shipping around Zuko as a central character, as Iroh & Zuko, and Sokka & Zuko are both given equal prominence. in fact, all the friendships and familial relationships were equally important to me. (the book 3 Zuko & Azula stuff is so interesting, but it is ...less funny I guess.)

This fic is such a joy to write, and I really try and balance the humour with the bittersweet/sad parts, and one of the main sources of humor was the Sokka-Aang-Zuko -Katara qudrangle of dumbassery. I love the four of them together in book 1, and so many of their interactions were a hoot to write. But if I'd have to pick a favourite moment, it would be the moment in the deserter chapter in book 1, where they all decide to 'officially' be friends:

“Well, you can figure that out and find someone while I'm up in the Northern Water Tribe. Then when we finish up there, we'll come find you,” Aang offered.

“Really?” Zuko’s eyes were shining optimistically. It was a strange expression for him. Aang was so used to seeing him with a grumpy face.

“Really, I promise,” Aang said, feeling so glad that he could help Zuko go home.

“Yeah, I second that. If this means we won’t have to put up with you chasing us, I am in!” Sokka said. “Sheesh, you could have just asked ages ago!”

“You know, this means I was right,” Aang started to say, feeling very vindicated. The others looked at him curiously. “If we had just talked about friendship in the forest, we could have sorted this out weeks ago!”

“Boo, forest friendship!” Sokka said.

“Don't boo him,” Katara admonished, elbowing her brother.

“I agree with Sokka. There's no way I would have appreciated that speech weeks ago, Aang,” Zuko said.

Sokka smiled at Zuko for saying he agreed with him. It actually wasn't that rare of an occurrence, but it still seemed to surprise Sokka every time.

“See, Aang, forest friendship is bullshit,” Sokka said.

“I didn't say that!” Zuko cut in. “I just meant, maybe … I had to be dragged all over the Earth Kingdom by you guys ... and shot ... and taken to nonsense fortune tellers ... and I had to be forced to eat Sokka's truly terrible and disgusting cooking—”

“Oi!”

“—and I had listen to Aang lecture me about friendship and vegetarianism in the forest just so I could come here.” He looked around at the deserters’ camp site. “I dunno, maybe it was meant to be this way.”

“What are you saying? You want to be forest friends with Aang now?” Sokka asked accusingly.

“I mean, sure. If Aang will have me, we can be friends,” Zuko said, and looked uncertain.

“Yay! I knew you'd want to be my friend,” Aang said, feeling delighted.

He was so happy he had a Fire Nation friend again. Kuzon had been an amazing friend, even though he'd gotten Aang into so many sticky situations. He had already thought Zuko was his friend, but it was nice to make it official. Aang always knew the Fire Nation had good people in it too, and now he had been proven right. He jumped up and gave Zuko a huge hug.

[cosmic-interference]

I have returned - slowly

Heya, Cosmic here! How are yall doing? I’m happy to announce that I will slowly be returning to AO3 :)) It took a whole ass year but here I am. I have ATLA to thank for making me want to write for fun again. And LoK (which I only recently watched thanks to us finally having wifi at home) for reminding me why I love this franchise. 

So, some announcements

For readers of Before There Was Them: Yes, I will be returning soon. The twelfth chapter has officially been finished and is now currently being edited. Thank you so, so much for anyone who stuck through the story despite my one year hiatus. (fck that was long, wow) The ETA for the next chapter upload I think will be a week from now or earlier if I get the edits done early. 

For anyone interested in some Zutara, I have started a short fic called we only know us and it’s a Soulmates AU. So if you ship Zutara (we were robbed) and Soulmates AU is your jam, you can also go check that out. 

That’s it for now o u o I shall leave you with a gif of Bolin since I am  a cumbucket whore for him. Cheers! 

[firelxdykatara]

1, 3, 5 for the fic ask.

1. What was your first fic and could you stand to reread it today?

Oof, it’s been a long ass fucking time. From what I can remember, the very first fanfic I ever wrote was one I never even put on a computer. My friend and I were co-writing a Pirates of the Caribbean fic where we alternated chapters with our OCs--mine was Jacqueline Sparrow, daughter of Jack of course, and hers was Jett Jones, daughter of Davy. I think we got eight or ten chapters in--we’d trade off the notebook each week, write a chapter, then give it back. I don’t remember 99% of what happened, except that Jack II stole the Black Pearl and her first mate was Will and Elizabeth’s son, and of course was madly in love with her, and Jett had a baby Kraken who was more or less an oversized puppy with tentacles.

And to be honest, I genuinely wish we hadn’t lost that notebook. I don’t even remember who had it last, I think it got lost somewhere over the summer (we were in middle school at the time), but I’d give anything to be able to re-read it, just to see what sort of whacky plots twelve-year-old me thought were super cool and totally realistic. Also, one of the reasons I enjoy re-reading even the cringiest of my old fics is that I like being able to see just how far my own writing has come over the years.

Now, whether or not I’d ever share it is a whole other question entirely. >.>

3. In your opinion, what’s your best fic?

This is really hard to answer, because, like most of us I’m sure, I am my own worst critic. However, I deeply enjoyed writing all the things once left unsaid, because it hit a point of catharsis for me by filling a void I hadn’t even realized was there the first many times I watched The Southern Raiders. But then I saw a post about how it sort of felt like a piece was missing between the confrontation with Yon Rha and Katara forgiving Zuko at Ember Island, and writing about it made something click into place for me--and, I hope, for anyone else who read and enjoyed it.

5. Is there any fic that makes you super happy to reread and remember you wrote that?

This is probably going to sound like a cop-out, but all of them? Especially the ones on my ao3, which are far newer (in fact I hadn’t even published any fic on it until this last Zutara Week), so there’s much less of a cringe-factor (I occasionally go back to look at the ones on my old ff.net account, and there’s one I may even re-write, but I’m constantly mentally editing them as I re-read them so it’s less ‘oh yay I wrote this’ and more ‘oh god this sounds so bad what was I thinking’), and reading the comments make me super happy. I like knowing that people in the fandom enjoyed my contributions, however meager (it’s just a handful of one-shots right now, mostly because I don’t want to have a bunch of abandoned multi-chapter fics so I’m not planning to put them up until I have them mostly finished), and even liked them enough to tell me so.

ask me questions about my fics!

[helenamayhathaway]

Once you get this it would be cool if you posted ten facts about yourself and then passed this along to your ten favorite followers x

1. Really, truly, genuinely obsessed with mustard. I just love it so much, I want it all the time, I have mustard cravings. I once put mustard on toast and it was delicious?

2. I could literally talk about Avatar TLA for 9 hours on end. Like it’s literally perfect, it’s literally the most perfect show of all time, there’s literally nothing wrong with it except for the fact that Zutara wasn’t canon. I just, like it’s so good. It’s the best show ever, everyone should watch it, without that show I might not be a writer? I can’t even put it into words, oh my god, it’s so beautiful. Beautiful characters, beautiful music, beautiful story, beautiful character development, fuck, i love it so much oh my god

3. Anne Hathaway made me realize I was gay. There was this one weekend where I rewatched the Princess Diaries literally about six times, I just watched it over and over again, like I finished it and then started it over again, and I didn’t know why and then I was like “well fuck” because like??? Anne Hathaway??? is????? so??? pretty????????

4. I don’t have a favorite band, I have about four, and I love them all literally so much that I cannot say I love any of them more than the other. (They’re My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, Young Guns, and Paramore, for those who didn’t know)

5. I’m OBSESSED with murder. I literally cannot get enough of it. Like I don’t WANT to murder, but I don’t find myself interested in almost any TV shows unless murder is involved. I just love it, like it’s the most fascinating thing to me. It started off as just a love for mysteries, I think based on how much Scooby Doo I watched as a kid, but it evolved into a fascination with murder, both fictional and real life. Like I like to learn about real murders to, and I LOVE reading about serial killers, I just love it, I love it. 

6. Talking about Scooby Doo, it’s not a “light” obsession with me. I own every single Scooby Doo movie ever made (except for Music of the Vampire, fuck that shit) AND every single episode of every single show) except Scooby Doo and Scrappy Doo because fuck Scrappy Doo). I just am completely infatuated with the whole show, I think it’s the best goddamn idea ever and the fact that it’s still going is amazing to me and Be Cool Scooby Doo is actually like really good and really truly after the heart of the original series. As a kid I owned two VHS tapes of Scooby Doo and not much else because we were pretty poor, but I rewatched those over and over and over and over again and I could name every single episode that was on there, I just I really care about Scooby Doo, I know to some people it was this fun little cartoon from their childhood but for me it’s something really deeply emotional and the way in which I grew up on it I think I genuinely can say it helped shape who I am today.

7. I’m obsessed more than is entirely healthy with board games. I’m addicted to the show Table Top and have a board game night at least once a week. I cannot get enough of them, it’s my favorite activity of all time. I genuinely am considering trying to have a career in creating board games or in creating Table Top RPG’s like Dread, because it’s my favorite format of storytelling and my favorite thing to do, like I literally love board games so much. (Some of my game recommendations include The Resistance, Ticket to Ride, Betrayal at House on the Hill, Coup, One Night Ultimate Werewolf, Forbidden Island, Gloom, Superfight, and The Meta Game).

8. I’ve met a shit ton of famous people. It’s one of the things I’m most proud of. I’ve met Karen Gillan, Neil Gaiman, M.T. Anderson, Patrick Rothfuss, Mara Wilson, Gerard Way, Gustav Wood, all of the band Set It Off, all of the band All Time Low, and Dan and Phil. I’ve met some less notable people as well, mainly authors, but those are some of the bigger names.

9. I wrote my first book when I was in 7th grade. It was a shitty ass self insert novel about a Mary Sue who met a boy at an open mic night and fell in love with him and they bonded over the band the Plain White T’s, and there was a school shooting and she was like ~~beautifully depressed~~ and it was just real bad guys it was real bad. The second book I wrote I completed in literally about a week, like I came up with a story and then I just wrote and I wrote and I wrote, and I barely ate that week, like I literally COULD NOT stop, and it’s about 150,000 words so like it’s a real ass novel. It’s actually got a pretty good story despite the fact that the writing isn’t so hot and I am considering trying to publish it someday once I heavily revise it. 

10. A lot of my fics are based on stories I came up with in high school. Chance is based on a story I wrote a whole one chapter of, it was a hell of a lot straighter and not good at all. When We’re Both Thirty had about five chapters and came from something like 8th or 9th grade? It was also a hell of a lot straighter and I believe the main characters were called Annie and Jake (and Jake was based on Tony from Skins cause he was just like so hawt omfg ermagherd lol). Lastly, Daylight was also somewhat based on an old story I had, I wrote down the summary of it in 9th grade but I never wrote any of it, I only ever had the summary, and I started writing it I think Freshman year of college, and then like four years later actually put it out into the world.