#not really sure what to do in a 3rd part though 🤔

[writing-whump]

Aww it was amazingg💫💫 My dear Hector had appendix:(( (i don't want to mention how much I enjoyed those part of suffering.. but damn... you got me, I did! LOL) I also loved how Isiah taking care of his brother🥲 sooo adorable

It was sooo nice to read Hector and Isiah like that! Pleeease pleeasee say there will be part 3 too 🙏🏻🙏🏻 well..umm.. obviously we still have ~9 hours for his shadow to show up...Just so you know... 🤭😅🤣

Aww thank you, nonny! That's so good to hear 🥰💕

I love these two together, they are so conflicted and there are so many mines to go through, but they both care very much.

You are keeping count, omg🙈😊😍

Super super flattered you would be interested in part 3. 💙✨️

Thank you so much for stopping by with these kind words!💕💕💕

[gotham-daydreams]

Heeeeeyyy,

I don't want to be pressuring, but how will they even find y/n. Like, they're so many people in Gotham, and they know nothing about them except from thire own name. And if they were found, would they put up a fight? 🤔 she could beat tim in a one on one, with her being a black belt and all... so how will the capture be like?

From

👾anon

You're good! No worries.

As for your questions, I will say that how the Batfam ends up finding the reader is revealed in the 3rd part. Though I will drop a small spoiler and say that they don't get kidnapped... not right away, anyway ;] (or at least not in the part I'm currently writing, as of right now.)

It is still angsty, and honestly I'd say pretty heart wrenching since, y'know, it doesn't go well at all. Which I'm sure pretty much everyone expected-

Though, I will say that if anything where to happen, the reader would definitely put up a fight! Granted, they don't want to fight the Batfam- not because they can't fight at all (and as you've mentioned, they do have a black belt (as mentioned in "Not Here"), and they do have some experience in boxing as mentioned in "Not Tonight" (though I can't recall at the moment if it's also mentioned in "Not here"), among other things that could help them out in a fight), but because to them, I can imagine it's more of a last resort kind of thing. If they have to, they will, and considering the Batfam? They definitely will.

For one-on-one fights? Yeah, the reader probably could beat Tim, and maybe get scarily close to beating Steph (or just flat out beating her too). For Dick and Jason, I think they'd honestly need a little more polish and refinement on their skills and fighting style to actually beat them, but they could get a little close. As for Damian and Cass? Ehh, they'll definitely need more training and experience for that. Both are trained to be weapons before anything else, and working with Batman isn't exactly going to make that suddenly go away. If anything- it'll probably put the skills you learned from that experience to the test (fighting/combat wise, anyway).

I don't think I have to even mention Bruce, but if that were to happen the reader would like to think they at least got halfway there to beating him, and they'd probably be half right.

Though, this is all just on strength, agility, skill, reaction time and such alone. Everyone in the Batfam easily has quicker reflexes compared to the reader, and more experience when it comes to combat (not that the reader doesn't have their own fair share of experience, but y'know), but the reader would definitely try to use their head more than just fight the family head on (which is just... asking for failure and disaster).

Even if it isn't going to be easy to out smart the World's Greatest Detective, or someone with a mind like Tim- not to mention Oracle being on their side. Or really just, anyone trained under the Batman, at all. It isn't impossible.

So, in a situation where the reader has to fight someone from the Batfam, they'll try to utilize both their brain and brawn. So, if they can't beat whoever they're fighting, at the very least they can get away from the fight and escape. Which they definitely have better odds at succeeding in since they took track and field as mentioned in "Not Here." The reader might try to take down whoever they're up against depending on who it is, but I will say that they'll mostly choose to have a smooth getaway more often than not.

Again, like you said, Gotham is a big place- they could probably get away for a little while, if nothing else. :]

Besides, the reader could also unintentionally suprise the Batfam with some of their skills and techniques when it comes to combat, but I don't think it'll be enough to throw any of them off enough to beat them- but that also depends what caused the Batfam's surprise and how big their reaction was to it. So, now that I'm really thinking about it, it's possible to catch them off guard and defeat them that way. Unlikely- but possible. (Also because it depends on how certain members of the Batfam view the reader and their own fighting capabilities. Since that can really determine how shocked or surpised they'll get at certain things. Which I'll say right now- despite the awards in your room, some definitely don't think you can defend yourself, or could hold up well in a 'real' fight. Dick is one of them.)

Nevertheless, how would a kidnapping play out?

Honestly, it really depends on multiple things.

1. Why they resorted to kidnapping above everything else. (Which can vary from you being in danger (from their perspective), or just them just getting impatient.)

2. Who is doing the kidnapping. (Which can be multiple people.)

3. How whoever is kidnapping you, plans to do it.

4. How urgently they want to kidnap you (which can affect #3).

5. Do they have a plan, or are they doing it impulsively?

6. How likely are they to mess up, and if they do, how quickly can they recover.

These can all change and differ, with the reader's reaction and action changing accordingly, but again, it depends. In some situations the reader may be put into a position where they can't fight back. Or maybe they realizing what's going on much too late. Maybe they even fight back and manage to get away, or they fight back but their attempts are fruitless in the end. If the Batfam fucks up, even a little bit or unintentionally, the reader could take advantage of that- but that's if whoever is trying to kidnap them can or can't recover fast enough.

Sure, the chances of anyone in the Batfam messing up are low, and go even lower depending on who you're talking about. However, those chances are never zero, and again- the Batfam doesn't really know much about the reader at all. With some knowing more than others, sure, but you also have to take into account that some of these people are going to be selfish as yanderes, and don't want to share certain pieces of information about the reader with one another because maybe they want to be the only one to know about whatever they're keeping to themself.

Hence, making it more likely for mistakes to happen, but the Batfam is also really good at what they do- which is also why how quickly they can recover from said (most likely unintentional) mistake or slip up is kind of important. Seeing as it can make or break the reader's chances of escaping successfully.

Not to mention that certain pairs work better than others, but depending on what leads up to the kidnapping- some unlikely teamups could be made. They could either get in the way of each other, or work scarily well. Though solo attempts are also possible- let's be honest, with how most of the yanderes feel about the reader at this point in the series, that's not going to happen. They all want to see and meet the reader as quickly as possible, to a point where they're almost borderline not allowed to see you without being in pairs or something. Not because they want to stick together necessarily (most do want to just, be with the reader alone, after all), but because of their own selfishness, greed, and sometimes jealousy. (Though there are some exceptions, like part 3.)

Basically: who knows? It can go one of many ways, and depending on which way it goes, the reader could possibly escape or just be left helpless at the hands of the Batfam. As for THE kidnapping? I'm not gonna spill, we'll see how things go :]

Tldr:

1. How the Batfam finds the reader is explained in Part 3 and I'm not spoiling.

2. Yeah, the reader will fight if they have to- and stand a better chance against some of them compared to others. Though for the most part would use their brain and, if they can't defeat someone, they'll make a quick getaway instead, and have higher chances of succeeding in that. Though it is possible for them to catch whoever they're fighting off guard, and defeat them that way.

3. How the reader reacts and acts to a kidnapping highly depends on the kidnapping itself, and who is trying to do it. The reader may or may not be able to fight back depending on the situation, and there is more room for mistakes because the Batfam doesn't know much about the reader — and if someone does know more they'll probably keep it to themself out of selfishness. The chance for a slip up is small, but could be enough for the reader to get away.

- As for the actual kidnapping that may or may not happen in the series, and how that'll go with everything? I'm not spilling, sorry!

Hope this answered your question! If it didn't, I apologize and I can clarify anything specifically that may have confused you or anyone else in another ask.

If anyone else has a question, or you yourself have another question, feel free to send in an ask! I'm trying to answer these as much as I can while writing the 3rd part, if you couldn't tell!

[sophietv]

Kaylor Timeline BEFORE VSFS 2013

It's a thread I did on my Twitter that I'll transfer here.

Once again, I used amazing Tumblr posts to do it. So I'll credit them as we go (If I need to do something else tell me, I'm new to the Tumblr etiquette).

So the official story is that Taylor and Karlie crossed path a couple of times without interacting and met for the first time at the Victoria Secret Fashion Show in 2013 🤔

Well they met A LOT of times and interacted before actually 😅

Let's see the Timeline before that VSFS in 2013!

***I'll edit this post as I find new interactions (because I feel like I'll find a lot of them) I'll add this 🆕 beside new additions and dates when it was added at the end of the post.

First meeting!

So what motivated my thread in the first place is this Interview Taylor did in 2014 with Andrew Bevan of Teen Vogue.

Here's the YouTube Link (X)

But here's the most important part of that interview:

He is saying that he introduced Karlie and Emma Stone to Taylor!!

Ok we know that Taylor met Emma at the 2008 Young Hollywood Award.

I don't think though that he is talking about that event. Because he says that he congratulated her for her cover.

Taylor did two covers with Teen Vogue, one in 2009 and one in 2011.

Following the Timeline and everything it's most likely the March 2009 one:

EDIT:

Thanks to this Anon! (X)

A magazine cover is planned 2-8 months in advance, up to a year for major celebrities.

The Young Hollywood Award was on late April 2008 and the cover was for March 2009 so it make sense.

So it's most likely that Taylor met karlie for the first time at the same event she met Emma for the first time.

🆕 Really cute fact.

On the Cover of that magazine, Taylor wears a dress from the Calvin Klein Spring 2009 show. (X)

Guess who walked that runway??

Karlie! (X)

I exceeded the limit of picture so click on the (X) to see the posts.

Tommy Hilfiger spring 2010 collection:

Septembre 16th 2009 Taylor attends the Tommy Hilfiger Spring Show during New York Fashion Week. (X)

Karlie was there too! (X)

In this post, you can see videos of Taylor watching Karlie on the runway: (X)

Here's the YouTube video : (X)

🆕Met Gala 2010:

They were both at the Met Gala in 2010

🆕In Milan together

Although they were not at the same Fashion Show (that we know) Taylor and Karlie were in Milan at the same time during the Fashion Week.

Another interesting facts. This could explain the "1958" reference of Timeless:

Thanks to Izg on Twitter for giving me this!!

Roberto Cavalli 40th Anniversary Party:

Septembre 30th 2010

Taylor and Karlie attends the Roberto Cavalli 40th Anniversary party in Paris.

Met Gala 2011:

May 2nd 2011

Karlie and Taylor both attend the Met Gala:

This is also the first time that we have confirmation of an interaction between them:

Thanks to that amazing post! (X)

Karlie said in Teen Vogue that they joked about having a baking date.

Rodarte Spring 2012 fashion show:

Septembre 13th 2011

Taylor attend Rodarte Spring 2012 fashion show where Karlie walks.

Here's a link to the video (X)

Vogue Febuary 2012:

January 17th 2012

Taylor mentions Karlie in her Vogue interview: "I love Karlie Kloss! I Want to bake cookies with her!"

And this quote, made history.

Karlie answers the same day:

Vogue Fashion's Night Out:

August 2012

Thanks to this post (X)

Taylor and Karlie star in the same commercial about Vogue Fashion Night Out:

Thanks to @hairpinraindrop for the video

Karlie and Taylor were present at the event too on Septembre 6th 2012

Paris 2012:

Septembre 30th 2012

Karlie walks the runway for Jean-Paul Gauthier in Paris:

Taylor is in Paris at the same time to film the Begin Again MV:

Funny Koincidence(?), I went back and watch that MV again, and look at the opening scene!

The Love Lock Bridge!!!

Elie Saab Spring Summer 2013 show:

Octobre 3rd 2012

Taylor is still in Paris and attends The Paris Fashion Week (X) at a fashion show where I'm pretty sure Karlie walked (I'm still searching for photos/videos).

But we know that Karlie was at the Paris Fashion Week too! (Thanks Astra!)

Here's a video:

🆕Met Gala 2013

They were also both at the Met Gala in 2013. Wich was in May.

So there you have it! All of Kaylor interaction BEFORE the 2013 VSFS!

This explains the timing of it all.

Because they allegedly met at the 2013 Victoria Secret Fashion Show in Novembre.

But as we know, Taylor moved to New York because Karlie asked her:

Timestamp 1:23

And people believe that she moved there after their Big Sur trip in March 2014.

Actually. Back in January 2014, Taylor was already looking to buy an appartment near Karlie's:

And she actually bought her Tribeca oenthouse in February.

Thanks to Bigsurlor for this!!

So they definitly knew each other before 2013!

Edit August 19 2023: Met Gala 2010, Milan trip together and Met Gala 2013 and the appartment hunting

Edit August 27th 2023: the Calvin Klein Spring 2009 dress section

[reefer-reelz-n-reviews]

Scream 3 (2000)

Smoking: Splatter

This is the 3rd movie in the franchise and they are making the 3rd movie “Stab” during it.

Something that I guess I wouldn’t have thought of. The Voice is the same (at least in the first 3 movies) played by Roger Jackson.

I will say unlike the first 2 movies this movie doesn’t have as famous of a person dying. I’ve never seen Kelly Rutherford in anything else. At least that I know of. Maybe to others she is, I just looked at her list and she was on a show called Melrose Place. I’ve heard of it, but never seen it. She was also in the original Gossip Girl. Which I’ve seen but I don’t recognize her 🤣

I wanna know what Neve Campbell does to afford a house that nice in the middle of no where with all the security that she has. I don’t see how a Women’s Crisis Center would pay for that. I guess in the 2000’s it was a bit cheaper because it totally isn’t now. Especially in California.

Courtney Cox’s bangs… she let a 4-year-old do her hair? Looks awful, just like that meme about it 😂

We’ve got Kenny from the Cosby Show! Welcome Deon Richmond to your death 🤣 well I’m pretty sure he does lol. We will find out for sure in a little bit.

Tell me how I forgot that Jay and Silent Bob are in this!?! My favorite stoners! “Who smokes the blunts? We smoke the blunts!” 🎶🎶

Why is the ghost face make that is huge and hanging a lime green color? It’s supposed to be white…

Jenny McCarthy-Wahlberg drops an award on the floor and breaks the head off. I laughed so hard 😂 foreshadowing? You’re literally on a movie lot and she’s trying to use knives to attack the killer, then she is surprised they’re fake. Like come on JMW.

Hmmm David Arquette’s bad arm switched… In the second movie it was his right arm… now it’s his left.

Love that Patrick Warburton is in this! Kronk is THE BEST! He’s a bit of a jerk, but I mean he’s a security guard for famous people, so I’m sure he’s a bit jaded. Hehehehe he steals the larger change from DA. Takes a frying pan to the head and a knife to the back. Still walks around and then dies in front of everyone.

Tells you how old this movie is, Parker Posey has a fax machine in her house 🤣

The eternally beautiful Carrier Fisher, even in the movie she talks about Princess Leia. Though she is stating that she didn’t get the part, but you know she did 😂 made a joke about sleeping with George Lucas, wonder how much basis there is for that? I know that he convinced her that in space there wouldn’t be a need for bras. So, who knows, maybe it is true 🤔

If this is about Stab 3, then why is the set up almost like exactly as the deaths in the first one? You had blood on the doggy door in the garage door for Rose McGowan’s death…

NC is carrying around pepper spray… if the killer is wearing a mask then how would it penetrate? Though I guess if it is some kind of soft cloth with holes it would make sense it would go through. But IDK seems suspicious to me.

Patrick Dempsey is really good at playing creepy and suspicious. I’ve heard that really, he’s a dickhead. Which I could totally see that. He kind of gives off dickhead vibes.

Snack time! Apple Pie, with whip cream and chocolate sauce 🤤

DR gets stabbed in the stomach and tires to run away. Nice little flip on the rug. Then over the balcony to die when he hits the ground. At least his wasn’t like a super easy death, right? He had a semi fighting chance.

So out of all the times through out the series that the killer gets knocked out this movie is my favorite. He is laying at the bottom of the stairs and as he’s, I guess dreaming, he goes, stab stab around him 🤣

Don’t understand why when PD opens the door, he has the gun come out first. Like what are you going to do? Shoot blindly? Risk hitting RC instead?

Just realized I haven’t even mentioned who the killer is in this. Maybe I will just leave it a “secret” even though I said what I did about the first one 😝 oh well.

🤣 She mentions Stab 3 and then stabs the killer a 3rd time.

Alright, that’s all for this review!

Toke on! 😶‍🌫️

-RRR

[theangryjikooker]

This is just a little rant cause I thought I was so sure but please read the whole thing 😂😭

So literally like a couple days ago (literally like 2/3 days ago) I was so sure about jikook. Like I was responding to asks on other tumblrs about jikook and my 90-10 rule. 90: being that I believe they're real and 10: because of inconsistencies, but now I'm really not sure anymore 😂.

Like I'm a person who is very stubborn in my beliefs and isn't swayed easily. I literally picked up the habit of reading people and their body language and expressions because I'm an only child and most times alone, so I developed that habit.

What's fueling that too, is that I'm a baby army, like baby baby army. I just became an army late May 2022. I rewatched all their content to get a better understanding of the group without any fan made storyline and in the midst of that, I saw jikook. They're weird. They're weird in their behavior. One thing that stood out to me was the hesitancy. Alot of things that the members do naturally, sometimes be weird to them. Why are you hesitating to put your arm around his shoulder when you do that for everybody else. In the video for the commercial (I can't remember the name but it was butter era) jimin interlocked their fingers, jk interlocked his too but removed his hand and looked at the camera. Why? Jm's behavior towards jk nowadays is very questionable behavior in my books. Why? This and many other things were in my 90% along with many other subtle moments and that's the thing, the grand gestures don't move me. Rosebowl would never be on my list of questionable jikook things.

Recently I've been hearing things about jk and girls which is an inconsistency with my thoughts. There's a lot of holes that have been popping up in my thoughts for the last 2 days. Besides the tone of voice they use with each other or jm looking like he's been struck by fucking cupid, I'm now not seeing a difference in behaviors. Now I'm not saying there isn't any, I'm just telling myself "maybe you let your bias formed a thinking". But when I tell myself that, it doesn't make sense.

There has been a time(s) when I have been right with real people (friends) and now they on the 3rd year of marriage, so I have confidence in my habit of reading people but those 2 make me question myself.

But like I said there's alot of inconsistencies in the being real and in them not being real for me I always think about why make such a big deal in not being seen in each other's room. They're bandmates nobody would bat an eye, why the secrecy? The amount of times jimin slipped up and said "our room" is about (to my knowledge) 3 times. One where he did a vlive the next day after the osaka live, one where everybody thought jk was in jm's room when hobi came into his room and the other when he said he would invite jk but if he invited him, they wouldn't focus on the vlive itself. 3 times so far, now it could mean he might have not meant jk but (tin hat on) I think he did. His bday vlive was awkward (even though many don't think it was) but not in a bad way. That shit made me feel like i was suffocating, like I deadass felt like I shouldn't be watching that and I have not watched it a second time. Again with his bday vlive, nobody would bat an eye that you're in his studio because yall are bandmates why the secrecy? And hobi immediately saying "let's go to my room"...huh? To go from one bandmate's room to another? Huh? Jm's whole vibe SWITCHED in the hopevminkook live when jk came in. When I tell you that shit shook me, IT SHOOK ME. I said "wtf?!". But that ain't the part that really got me, what really got me was that jk could've sat next to Tae if Tae moved across, there was room that all 4 could've sat on the couch but he immediately when to jh and tapped him to move, he moved and he said sorry.......sorry....jh said sorry. 🤔 Excuse me? Why the hell would he say sorry, that's his fucking room. This is what I mean when I said I like subtlety. The unspokenly spoken, the subconscious gravitation. Now this might just seem like a lot to me and not you which is fine (that's why we're human, to have different views). This was under my 90%.

Then I came upon your Tumblr which became a good wake up call to me and it became my personification of smelling salts 😂😭😭. You have me thinking that maybe I DO need to be on the neutral side of things until I see definitive proof in which we may never get.

There's so much that I want to get into but I don't want to make it too long but for further interactions (cause I'll be sending asks in the future too 😭😭) you can call me assassin anon🥷.

Hahaha, assassin anon. I tag people by their usernames when they use one, but if you'd like me to refer to you as "Assassin" when writing to you, I'm more than happy to do so.

Anyway, hear me out: my feelings on Jikook aren't meant to influence anyone's feelings on them. The main reason why I encourage neutrality in shipping is because of what happens when people do go overboard. Sometimes the fantasy doesn't line up with reality, and people either get really upset or they double down on a narrative that is only ever rooted in speculation; for others, especially popular Jkkrs, they completely disregard how much of an influence they have and impart their ideations to a younger and more impressionable audience, which I personally believe can have repercussions.

I never really say things like more people should be like me or should adopt a "healthier" parasocial relationship, unless they're genuinely concerned about their fixation on shipping. I think I've only had 2-3 anons (more in my DMs) who were quickly becoming upset with their participation in shipping or recognizing that shipping Jikook was developing into an obsession for them. These are usually the only times I'll ever directly tell someone to not do what shippers/supporters tend to do as part of the fandom experience (i.e., analyzing).

Otherwise, I don't actually mind the stance of Jikook supporters (provided it isn’t delusional). If we can agree to disagree, I use the opportunity to see why the other side has their beliefs. I'm not much of a daydreamer by nature and am partial to logic. I can only entertain Jikook things so far, but my inability to ignore the incongruous aspects is what keeps me "grounded." But because I do like Jikook and their dynamics, and because I'm also fond of the idea that they would work together as a couple, I have to reconcile that logical side somehow. Ergo, I'm "neutral," a.k.a. Schrödinger's Jikook a.k.a. they are/aren't until something comes up when it's known that they are or aren't.

Just do you, Assassin. Whether you do or don’t take away anything from my blog isn’t really for me to comment on because your experience and how you choose to interact with your world from your POV is yours alone.

Thanks for sharing your views!

[waitingformyfavoritesongs]

3:09 pm pdt 1 December 2022

Added ths to Twitter banner/whatever it is called.

{{7:03 pm pdt this is kikyo from inuyasha. She’s dead & being burned 🔥 w/the shikon jewel 💎, she purified it. I think she’s a miko? Priestess? I read online prob within last 5 years that kikyo means Chinese bell 🔔 flower 🌺 (coughing , sternum is hot 🥵 have to lean back from being on my side) 😖😭😫more anus pain stinging from incontinence & incubus) earlier this year the incubus did spiritual warfare on my bladder sphincter it was excruciatingly painful 😖) 7:09 pm pdt I might be ethnically ambiguous looking 👀 or the demon lord changed 🔼 my face multiple times. A Chinese woman 👩 said I looked Chinese. Mexican looking people asked if I was Mexican. A guy who looked maybe Native American 🇺🇸 told me I looked Native American 🇺🇸. Nigerians 🇳🇪 told me I looked white but not white. & then I asked in the dark do I look black? & they said “yeah” I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ if they were serious though. 7:17 pm pdt}}

{{ updating 6:28 am pdt there was a thing about astronauts someone told me about that they become infertile when they come back from space. I think it has something to do with heat. Friction from entering the atmosphere. I wonder if hot tubs are too hot 🥵?? I once went into hot tub maybe 🤔 maybe when I was 11 or 12? It was at mom’s boyfriend’s house 🏠 his name was Michael & he had a tattoo of a heartbeat line on his arm?? I think they probably might have insisted I try it?? I feel like I did. I don’t remember any more but I feel like I did & maybe younger sister didn’t. I really cannot believe the incubus about the children after watching good night goodnight again. The incubus messes with the internet & made me see at least 2 different versions. I think maybe she’s really the real mother, not me. & he’s a liar/phony who doesn’t care about breaking other people’s hearts 💕 2 get what he wants. & he broke my trust this week by what felt like him setting me on fire 🔥 6:38 pm pdt }}

days ago, after got second Covid shot/jab my whole body felt like it was on fire 🔥 flamingo 🦩 . I had hot 🥵 flashes in 2020 winter ❄️ Maybe ? And 2021. & all this year I was burning up 🥵 without feeling sick, but I had nausea on/off since 2017, vomited 🤮 in 2019? & this summer, a lot of #3 very painful 😖 on top of other chronic pain since 2017. But all my life I had pains of one kind or another. I had little rashes when I was probably 4 years old & 5 years old (definitely, before moving to king 👑 city 🌃. Then when we moved back to the Bay Area I scratched myself in my sleep 🛌 when I woke up 🆙 I was covered in scabs up 🆙 & down legs 🦵 & arms & my bedsheets (my mom said I picked out myself with a line of geese @ the top 🔝) was stained with generous lines of blood 🩸 (did I pre-crucify? Myself in my sleep?? 😴) . I might have been 6 or 7 years old. I remember being afraid 😱 of the dark & not getting out of bed 🛌 to get lotion 🧴 even though felt dry? I think I felt dry? Trying to remember. I think I remember... now not sure... whatever. Might have been 2nd or 3rd grade I washed 🧼 my hands 🙌 a lot bcz I didn’t have lotion 🧴, hands were dry & I thought washing would make it undry & smooth bcz that’s what it seemed/looked like happened. Then I’m that same classroom I think I remember getting rashes inside my elbows then behind knees @ the same time. It weeped/oozed stung itched cracked tightened uncomfortably giving way to more itching as it dried. My mom wasn’t happy that I had it, it felt almost like she blamed me for having it in retrospect with the way she seemed irritated 😤. I remember it got gray cold & very windy 🌬 & I still wore shorts 🩳 bcz my mom told me to wear it until I healed. A yard duty asked me if I could wear pants 👖 and I told her that I will ask my mom. This part I remember she really seemed irritated 😤 with me for asking - I probably sounded dumb to her. I remember when I was 6? In king city and they bought Nintendo entertainment machine w/duck hunt Mario bros & when we were @ the store 🏬 I asked mom are we going to wrap it in wrapping paper when we get home. & she answered me back in a way I used to remember but now I don’t but it made me see my mom differently. It didn’t feel nice the way she answered but she said no because you already know what it is. I think the way she said it kinda stung. 3:54 pm pdt. The tone. My mom is a hard worker I think. She said she had a rough life. She had to work & start learning the value of money 💰 & accounting since she was 7 years old? Very young. She had to help with shopping & beg relatives for rice 🍚 when her father gambled away his paycheck. She also lived a part of her childhood w/out electricity ⚡️ & learned to do payroll on a relatives farm when she was a kid. She said she was always getting good grades in school 🏫 & had to help take care of her younger siblings (she was the oldest of 8!) she had to gather wood 🪵 & wash laundry 🧺 in the river. She said she usually got in trouble & caught? If she ever tried to go out for fun, so it was probably rare for her to get out & do it. When she worked for a Japanese man 👨 she got drunk at a company party 🎉 blacked out, & when she woke up she was pregnant 🤰 with my oldest sister. I was told she was my aunt, but after I met her for the second time in my life when I was 13 years old & came back home from their home country she told me finally that she was my sister. When I met her when I was 7 the first time I thought she was so pretty and I for a strange reason I wished that she could be my sister- very strange. When 7 years old, too naïve to realize that it was probably god giving me hints? Now I’m wondering if it did occur to me.... whatever. I remember being happy when she told me I think. But she didn’t seem to respond much to me. I guess it wasn’t the right time. I had issues. I think I rubbed people the wrong way when I was 13. I don’t remember if it was before I hit my head very hard or after during that trip.

There are too many things to recall & write ✍️ & I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ if it would change people’s opinions about me. All my relatives are distant in mileage wise & in communication on both sides of my family.

anyway I guess a chunk @ a time. A lot of this is very personal & it’s difficult for me to feel comfortable putting this out there. There’s a part of me that believes I should keep it 2 myself bcz my belief about myself is that I’m phony. All this stuff did happen, to the best of my knowledge.

growing up with a family like mine probably wasn’t healthy plus there’s the demon lord, who controls everything. People say “god willing “ 4 a reason. When I was about 6/7 years old & moved back to the Bay Area someone had bought me the Disney’s sleeping beauty doll. I remember dad me & lil sis went 2 the toy store 🏬 2 buy prince 👑 Eric 4 her. B4 we get 2 the doll aisle? My dad says I cannot tell him what I want I can only hint. I’m starting to realize at this moment this is like Ariel losing her voice to the sea 🌊 witch 🧙‍♀️. Haha ha funny dad! So I see prince Phillip but I think I don’t say anything! I don’t remember saying anything! We grab Eric & we might have left in 5 minutes. I think I remember hinting at a Barbie dress being pretty- I think it was pink??? But at Christmas 🎄? He got me different outfits that wasn’t pink that time. All wrapped. under the tree? I have a picture of me holding a blue & black one, & I remember a yellow (& gold ?) dress 👗 w/ green decorations. 4:58 pm pdt.

After my parents separated there were times it seemed I irritated my mom & I remember one time I was trying to figure out what to say to not get her angry 😤 & it only seemed to make her more angry. I had bad timing ⏱ I guess & didn’t follow directions 🧭 I guess.. she said not now I guess I should have took it at that. I only wanted a yea or no answer if it was going to happen at all that day not at that moment I didn’t expect us to run out the door 🚪 in 5 minutes I guess I wanted to know maybe I wanted something to look forward to that day?? With out realizing it?? She said probably many days before or longer time ago 2 remind her to take us out for donuts 🍩 & hot chocolate. I only wanted an answer if I should not expect it today. I even tried to say it with out throwing a tantrum or being forceful/demanding. I even remember hanging my head, maybe looking down. I think she might have pulled me by my T-shirt that time & slapped 👋 me. I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ if I got my memories mixed up.

how dare Adam Levine put donuts 🍩 in beautiful mistakes! 😡 he’s (the incubus 😵😖😣 hurt my ribs front right, under chest👿) been giving me #3 a part of this year whenever I ate bread 🥖, & my name in one language means beautiful & rose 🌹 & lily.

I guess I have more reasons to not be proud of myself... like when I was in king 👑 city 🌃 I edited a girl’s (neighbor) little mermaid 🧜‍♀️ book 📖 with a silver color pencil ✏️ & colored in silver mermaid tail scales ⚖️ to imitate the Disney’s Ariel doll tail. With out permission. I ate a lot of their cheese 🧀 (they gave it to me). & I accidentally killed a brown butterfly 🦋 I think I felt bad about it. 5:23 am pdt. 😞 this is not a joke to me.

I thought I remember a Ted talk of a woman in a wheel chair 🪑 who married a man 👨 because her father told her to? She did things that her parents wanted her to do. That man she married I think she said he tried to kill her & a car 🚗 wreck made her need a wheel chair 🪑. A rough way to learn to do things you want to do not what your parents want. I cannot find it though web search 🔦 & Ted talk website search 🔦. I also cannot find a case that I saw on tv 📺 probably when I was a teen.

{{ 6:41 pm pdt. I had to go to the bathroom 🚽 ≈5:39 pm ? About the case {I’m coughing & he’s hurting my forehead} there was a woman 👩 who worked at Walmart or Kmart & a best friend-a guy - who worked there, too. Now I’m questioning 🤨 my memory but I’m going 2 write ✍️ anyway. & a rich man 👨 who was only rich bcz of his parents. She dated him, he impregnated her. He didn’t care for her but she kept on going back to him. He was bad though. I think he probably leaded her on. But still kept her at a distance? How to explain. I think the reporters called him a playboy. Her mom told her she should ask 4 child 👶 support . She was reluctant but did it anyway like her mom told her to. Fast forward ⏩ she’s dead ☠️. The rich 🤑 playboy murdered her & tried 2 make it look like her best friend did it. He tried to frame 🖼 him. I forget how. Why I cannot find the case?? Maybe bcz it’s old now? Maybe bcz search 🔦 engines aren’t good. Maybe bcz demon lord don’t want rich 🤑 people to look bad so he hid it from sight. Bcz of manifest destiny wouldn’t look valid anymore. 😵🤌🤌🤌🖕we are screwed. There’s no future of real change. Only martyrs and surface level/fake change. 6:54 pm pdt 😖😖😖😭😭😭😫😫😫incubus is hurting my anus w/ spikes & acid 6:55 pm pdt let them do what they want there’s no point in fighting them or doing anything for change. Change = martyrs = death ☠️ 😵 6:57 pm pdt}}

if god or demon lord was giving me signs 🪧 I was going to die like Lucia, maybe he was also giving me signs 🪧 with the Disney’s movies, like sleeping beauty briar rose 🌹 & the toy 🧸 store 🏬 & younger sister getting prince 🤴 Eric- somehow I think she got 2 erics & 2 Aladdins & 2 jasmines. & I had 1 regular Ariel & she had a Christmas Ariel doll. We had a lot of dolls 😅. I notice I didn’t get any of the Disney prince dolls, I think I had 2 ken dolls. I remember reading an article online that Barbie & ken broke up 🆙 & never actually married & started dating a new guy from Australia 🇦🇺. All the bride 👰‍♀️ Barbie dolls was only Barbie fantasies about getting married. 5:39 pm pdt

7:25 pm pdt the Bible is a trick to the naïve. Spelling? To trick us into dying. & he’s laughing at us while he hugs dead cow carcasses. If he’s supposedly my prince 🤴 Philip, to the briar rose 🌹 🥀, I have to rethink the betrothal idea 💡. The Disney’s movie 🎥 makes it look like it’s a good union, but the guy might actually be too old 4 briar rose. Either way, we should not assume that betrothals are any good. Maybe 🤔 it was an obligation. & his free will choices are reflected in all his music videos & movies. 7:31 pm pdt.

I want Heath ledger minus the paint ball ⚽️. Why’s he dead ☠️? Overdosed? I wonder if he was a good man. He looks like a good man 👨. Did all the good non-cheating men die of Covid? Would make the incubus look bad if there were actually good men around.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/BOJEs6Z2Vk">https://t.co/BOJEs6Z2Vk</a><br>“Instinctively, monogamy is not in our genetic makeup. People cheat. I have cheated. And you know what? There is nothing worse than the feeling of doing it.” Unless you find someone who makes you so horny in the moment- does it feel good to feel horny?🧐🤔</p>— Nana Nana (parody?) (@NanaNan65672979) <a href="https://twitter.com/NanaNan65672979/status/1580032141328412672?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 12, 2022</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

{{inserting 5:43 am pdt 2 December 2022 Friday {{{ I had made this big gap here originally bcz I had issues with space at the bottom when I inserted a picture. Now it’s starting to look like this ... might be an appropriate spot 4 this addition}}}

medical news today website on split personality disorder. Tried 2 paste it would not. I have 2 clear more memory again.

6:02 am pdt 2 December 2022 Friday

still can’t copy & paste url. Took too many screenshots again 😅

Cannot get to bottom of browser again to switch btwn websites while in this editing post mode. 6:05 am pdt. I thought I read that a pinky finger means girlfriend/boyfriend in Japanese 🇯🇵 ?? Many years ago. In America 🇺🇸 People say pinky promise. If I’m a slave incubus he probably has powers to stupefy ? What is stupefy? To make stupid? Control memory? Bcz he can paralyze to rape you in your sleep 🛌 so he has date rape drug like powers to make you black out like drunk 😵 & make you not remember. So he might have wanted me to think 🤔 girlfriend/ boyfriend from first time or recently until he burned me/ felt like set me on fire 🔥 literally; not a figure of speech 🎤. 6:11 am pdt. All to manipulate me, to use me; not love me. 6:12 am pdt }}

I h*te you incubus. The page 📄 refreshed bcz of an error. 12:03 pm pdt . I lost all of my new writing ✍️ including immediately notations of pain with time. I don’t see a reason for it to happen since I didn’t touch any links. I think it’s a special code incubus friends like to do to automatically refresh like automatically time out. If you’re bored or thinking of a way to keep/lose your job, beware of incubus friends that will make it come true. It seems my text ain’t welcomed here. No one will talk to me directly. I get spam. Dating service messages. Probably incubus friends making fun of me. 12:08 pm pdt.

Cleveland jersey in same series of pictures (have to find if pinky promise looking pictures. 12:20 pm) aneurysm might have been created below belly button painful stretching feeling. ≈ 11:19 & again minutes later. Same thing might have happened to sister’ friend also Aries ♈️ ≈2014/2015/2016? Died in hospital 🏥 From it. She felt her insides abdominal area was being ripped apart. Mom gave her tough love. 💕. Her older sis Was a nurse 👩‍⚕️. When I met her in high school 🏫 she had a swollen looking body. I think I was told her body thinks it is pregnant 🤰 when not. 12:14 pm pdt. 12:17 pm pdt cell phone is getting hot 🥵 a few years before she died she finally got cured of it by a witch 🧙‍♀️ doc I think 🤔????? I heard???? 12:21 pm pdt I thought she was a funny kind person. I have never seen her be unkind or rude. 12:22 pm pdt. I’m guessing now retrospect she probably had an incubus spiritual husband. 😶12:23 pm pdt. Does Microsoft make it difficult to set up new accounts on computer 👩🏻‍💻 to make efficient use of parental controlled accounts —> parental controlled access to internet?? 12:25 pm pdt.

jack in titanic . Me kikyo inuyasha. 9:50 pm pdt

I remember a caption in one of his pictures in his Instagram saying something about king 🤴 of the world 🌎 reminded me of titanic movie 🎥. 9:51 pm pdt.

3:19 pm pdt Friday 2 December 2022

anniversary of ghost 👻 ship 🛳 fire 🔥 in Oakland. I believe on the news 📰 on tv 📺 I saw 👀 a brother of acquaintance from college passed away in the fire 🔥. Also the anniversary of something else. But I will only focus 🧘🏻‍♀️ on this now. He was studying 📚 computer 👨‍💻 science 🧪 ? European languages? & neuroscience? He looked like he was special . Probably someone the government would have wanted to hire? A triple major was he?? Someone in my family knew someone who married a man 👨 whose father was considered a national treasure & protected by the government bcz of his invention showed his mind was valuable to the country. Long are the days of that is gone. The man passed away I guess in old age. 3:33 am pdt . None of my family are geniuses. 😖😭😫 probably makes it easier for incubus to take advantage of us. Incubus, do you ever allow me to be who I really am??? Probably any after pain. So he knows how much pain I’m in. Whenever I say it is low he raises it immediately afterwards. 3:38 am pdt. In high school 🏫 I also met someone whose name is like a character of a book 📖? 3:40 am pdt if a man makes a woman 👩 into cattle 🐄 treats her like one, pretends to be in-love (chemical cocktail 🍸? Or only façade manipulation?/acting. Saw on news 📰? Can do a scan? & see the brain 🧠 in-love? Is it true???) then dumps her after he gets her to make babies 👶 with him , is this considered a wicked act?? Especially if he tortures her to death ☠️?? & she might have had capacity to really love 💗 someone?? If she were allowed to ?? Does love ❤️ = good? Does breeding for power/control = wicked?? I could imagine it would lead to a destructive world 🌎 without real change, a vicious cycle. If genes 🧬 give us personality & genius smarts that maybe 🤔 not every human possesses, a combination of genes 🧬 (song lyrics I’ve loved 🥰 you lifetimes before 🎼???. Legend of the blue sea 🌊?? Title?? Korean dramady 🎭 w/ my sassy girl actress) if this is true, could we consider Mother Nature 🌬 to be a nebulous? Kind of spirit? That would endow specific people to be president for a while ? Not something that should be controlled like cattle 🐄, reduced to, by cowardly truly unloving schemes? D*mned to repeat 🔁 history like Martin Luther king junior’s death ☠️? Would you say then that incubus has no good character & not worthy of being or having any sort of super natural powers that would essentially & honestly make him a rapist without such powers 💥???????????????????????????????????????????!!!!!

3:58 am pdt 2 December 2022 Friday. Stop 🛑.

4:05 am pdt 2 December 2022 Friday.

4:28 am pdt my dad is 20 years older than mom. He was probably not in love with my mom when he married her. He told me he had a fiancé b4 who was “stolen” from him. He probably really tried to find someone his own age but failed. He was not rich 🤑. His fiancé left him for someone who was rich 🤑. 4:33 #3 feeling, PAIN 😖😤😭😫

2 December 2022 Friday, 4:57 am pdt posted these:

[cyanide-latte]

Hmmmmm thoughts on books you think are overrated/get too much undeserved attention? Like something that's super popular and you just don't get why? 🤔

Oh ho ho, Lottie always here with the big questions to make me think!

You know, I sometimes find myself wondering if social media platforms where the bookish community is active and thriving doesn't result in some kind of echo chamber that contributes to why some books of modeling and mediocre quality get so popular and overhyped? BookTube, much as I enjoy watching some content creators, does this, and I'm sure the same is true for Bookstagram, BookTok, etc. Publishing companies and booksellers notice content creators with a large viewership, so they offer sponsorships and free gifts in exchange for the creator pushing something that sponsor wants pushed. Which then eventually results in an echo chamber of many, many people hyping up something that really isn't all that amazing, no matter how popular it is. I strongly think that's part of it.

But then there are books where I see they're extremely popular and genuinely scratch my head over it. I almost thought I wouldn't be able to think of an example for this but almost immediately one popped into my head and I'll probably get shit for my unpopular opinion, but...

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo.

Now, here's why I know my opinion is unpopular. I enjoyed her original Grisha trilogy when I read it. I've got mixed feelings about several aspects of it, but I enjoyed the story. Most people find it boring or too trope-y or "standard/generic YA fantasy", whatever the blessed fuck that means. But I've not seen a single damn person do anything but praise her Six of Crows duology.

So, I've not yet started the second book in the duology, Crooked Kingdom, though it's on my backlist TBR to read for 2022. But I read Six of Crows dubiously because it was so hyped. Because WOW it's a heist book and that's never been done before and WOW the main cast checks off the hot keyword diversity boxes and WOW even though it's YA you won't think it's YA because it feels so *~Adult~* and not trashy it's practically more like New Adult fiction instead of YA, and WOW WOW WOW!

.........

I read the book. I liked the characters. And there were elements of the plot that were interesting. But the pacing. Dear God, the pacing. 2/3rds of that book is just flashbacks giving us characters' backgrounds, and it's interspersed in a somewhat haphazard way throughout the main "presently-occurring" plotline. It was disruptive, and realizing that the actual plot of the book barely filled a third of its near 700-some page count made me question a lot of things about what Bardugo was doing. What was she being told to do by her editors? Why didn't she make a series of novella prequels for the backstories and then the rest of the book? Heck, could've put that all in the book still without disrupting the narrative flow. OR, given how little of the book was "present time", could have made one book all the backstories, then made Crooked Kingdom somewhat longer than it is to contain the whole thing. Especially considering the way Six of Crows ends on a cliffhanger to set up almost the entire plot for the sequel, when they only barely accomplished the initial heist plot very quickly if you cut out the flashbacks and condense that "present time" together. Could have been done very differently and much better from a structural perspective.

But that wasn't what happened and it made me question why the book was written the way it was, and why so many people (especially people I'd watched long enough to know they normally wouldn't be able to stay engaged with such a writing technique,) think it's amazing. Is it solely because it hits diversity checkboxes? Is it because the idea of a heist plot in a fantasy setting seemed very new and shiny? (I'm pretty sure that's actually been done before. Maybe not in a book targeted at a YA demographic but I'm fairly sure I've seen it done before.) Is it just that SoC is a Hi-Lo book [re: High-interest, Low-vocabulary; entertaining and 'easy' to read, without being inherently childish]? I don't know. I may never know. But I don't get why it (and many other books out there) are so overrated and overhyped and adored when they're more mediocre than most people will admit.