#not that the conversation NEEDS to happen because they're all phenomenal

[flurry-of-beaus-pop-pop]

The conversation is always Matthew Mercer versus Brennan Lee Mulligan but honestly, after Burrow's End, Aabria 100% deserves to have her name thrown into the ring

[heathersdesk]

Just got back from church. Am absolutely screaming inside.

So months ago, I was talking to God knows who (tell me if it was you) that high council Sunday is the worst because it guarantees the most speaking time per year in every ward to the same man. We hear from the high councilmen in total more than we hear from anyone else in the Church, including the prophet.

This bothers me. It was something I was praying about. From what I've seen in this stake, it's the first time they seem to rotate everyone on the council each month. That alone is a good change, but I'm so tired of having incredible female leadership I never see or get to interact with.

Our stake is now sending a woman leader from the stake to speak on every third Sunday with the high councilman. They're creating a standing reservation for women to speak in sacrament meeting every month.

This was my first time seeing and meeting my stake Relief Society president. She gave a phenomenal talk about the sacrament. And the high councilman who was with us this week opened his talk by expressing his confidence in her. They've both lived in this area for many decades, so they've served together in the Church for many years. It was lovely and it was the nicest fulfillment of what I was imagining in my head when I previously criticized the formula for "Dry Council Sunday" in saying it needed improvement.

I went up to the stand afterwards to thank her and introduce myself, and to let her know that her presence was the answer to a prayer for me. We had a wonderful conversation and I confided in her what this means to me personally, my history of feeling frustration with gender dynamics in the Church. She listened so well and embraced me, thanked me for sharing, and said she would let the rest of the leadership of the stake know that this is a meaningful and well-received change.

All this to say: when there is something about the way the Church functions that is painful and unfair, don't keep it to yourself. Tell God in prayer. Pour out your soul about what you think and feel. Leave that hurt on the altar where it belongs, especially if it never should've been yours to carry. Trust your Heavenly Family to know how to help and rescue you.

It may not happen immediately, but change will come. I've seen this so many times in my church experience. God hears us and cares when we suffer. That suffering is held and known completely in the body of Christ, where it can also be healed. And in time, change will come.

[silly-goofy-vibes]

i love that they're really emphasizing that even though annabeth is "the smart one" grover and percy are both REALLY smart. and that they all bring something different to the team.

percy is really really good at figuring out all of the stuff as it relates to actual mythology. he's been here like. a week??? and he is figuring stuff out as fast as (if not faster than) annabeth. he is also really good at assessing those situations and figuring out what needs to happen in order to get to the next step and absolutely always willing to put the quest first even when it means he Will die because mr. fatal flaw of loyalty. also like i said earlier he has been thrown into this world for a week and is just completely content to go with the flow and different changes and he is so adaptable to each situation. he said it himself, he is figuring this out as he goes. the fact that he has enough control over his powers to (even if it was inadvertently) pull himself and annabeth out of the water in the tunnel of love is incredible considering that he has known about being a child of poseidon for so little time

grover is SO socially intelligent. he proves time and time again that he has the best understanding of the group's dynamic as a whole and how they best fit with each other. he is the one who has been able to help percy and annabeth best figure out how to get along and he uses his third-person perspective on their relationship to help them and provide a different viewpoint from how they're both seeing it. and in addition to that he knows how to best phrase these things to both of them in order to actually be effective instead of starting MORE arguments. and then there was the conversation with ares. grover got a LITERAL GOD to spill details to him just by knowing what cards to play when. grover has the best social intelligence out of the main three by FAR and he is single-handedly keeping percabeth from killing each other sometimes

and then there is annabeth. we all know that she has a lot of experience and knowledge about the world and the mythos, but her ability to recognize it, form a plan, and then execute it is phenomenal. and leah is playing her so well, all of the small tells that she is figuring something out before even the audience can get there make her so believable and show that her intelligence is book and strategy centered. she also keeps beliving in the quest and that there is a way that percy will be okay no matter what happens. and she is willing to do whatever it takes to figure out what needs to happen in order for him to be ok. AND THEN SHE DOES FIGURE IT OUT. she was able to get a GOD to change his mind and let percy free just because she was so stubborn and so loyal to him and was able to figure out what needed to happen for him to be safe

i just absolutely love this show so much and i'm so glad that it is highlighting each character's individual strengths and making each of their uses to the quest and each other clear

[bengiyo]

Don't Care for an Old Man's Underwear! Ep 6 Stray Thoughts

This watch is made possible by the continued efforts of @isaksbestpillow

Last time, Makoto kept getting praised for the progress he's been making, and then really stepped in it big time. Daichi was having a hard time because his boyfriend can't come out due to the expectation that he would return to his hometown after graduation. Mihoko chatted with Mika, and they decided to host a BBQ to give Daichi and Madoka a chance to be around people in public, and Mika hoped it would bring Kakeru out of his room. Unfortunately, Makoto was too excited and outed them. Meanwhile, Kakeru bonded with a boy in his class over skincare. I'm still rooting for Makoto.

No, noy the cake!

Moe coming through again. She's right to point out that the focus should not be on Makoto here. As a fujoshi, admitting she doesn't care about real life romance is also sending me. I think she also had that conversation in the hallway to make sure Kakeru heard it too.

Wow they brought out an even worse man.

I love Shimura so much. She's like, "He's already got what's coming to him."

Kakeru's nemesis is at this seminar!

Great comedy with the flier. Holy shit.

I'm glad we're spending time with Mika this episode.

Look at that. Kakeru is maybe starting to bond with his unexpected rival.

I'm so sad for Mika. She wanted to share something important to her with the family and no one is here to receive it.

Mika deserved to go off and she is right. You could feel a lifetime of being dismissed come out of her in that moment. It's always something small that reveals a huge burden. She wanted to share a small thing she was proud of and couldn't get that. The casual sexism has hurt her for decades, too.

Oh good, Makoto figured it out and told Moe.

Yes, Carlos, drag us back to the gays!!!

Wow. These bench scenes continue to give me so much life. It's a shame that so much of the world is covered in hostile architecture designed to keep people out of public spaces.

I'm feeling so much for Daichi and Madoka. It's hard to be mad at Makoto when what they're frustrated by are their circumstances. Madoka feels a sense of duty and responsibility to his family that he doesn't think his queerness is compatible with, and there's not much Daichi can do about that. Daichi wasn't afforded a closet. He was bullied before he could even figure himself out.

This is a phenomenal moment between Mika and Moe. In a show spending so much time about the sexism of men, I like that Moe acknowledged that she dismissed her mom, too.

I like returning to the story about the tanuki to reveal that Mika was the one who bore the brunt of caring for Moe when she was sick. Mika has done the best she can with her choices, but it's not what she wanted to do. I totally get her taking these petty wins

Okay, I love them fighting for tickets for her favorite boy band. It makes sense now that they might represent the youth she feels like she didn't get to have.

I'm crying about the tickets, and now the first family dinner of the show.

And they're having curry!

Incredible show.

This episode was one of my favorites, because we do need to reckon with the fact that many women are still alive and still unhappy about the lot they've been given. There is no way to fix everything that's happened in the last twenty years, but we can let them enjoy the things that bring them a little joy in their lives. This was also earned from the earlier work at Comica. I really loved this. It really was as simple as acknowledging all that Mika does as a first step.

[deckof-dragons]

Huh? The ending of Disco Elysium felt kinda anti-climatic to me. I thought there'd be more after the tribunal. I was assuming and feeling like the game was going to be about 50-60 hours when it's actually less than 40 (I have just over 40 hours play time but that includes my having redone the tribunal and some of the stuff that happens after it). Other than the phasmid encounter, a lot of what was there fell flat.

Like, I thought there'd be more of a chase to find the killer. But he was just kind of sitting there. And not appearing at all until that moment, what turns out to be right near the end, makes it feel like a 'oh, and here's the killer' kind of thing. And then after getting his confession and the lovely moment with the phasmid, he goes catatonic so we don't even need to worry about restraining and/or transporting him anymore, how convenient. Overall, finding and dealing with him felt kinda rushed.

And then we go back to the mainland, talk to the cops from Harry's precinct about what we accomplished, recruit Kim, and then get in the car and drive away before credits role. We don't get to see the suspect get properly brought in or learn what happens to him or if his health problems might effect any of the legal proceedings. So we spend the entire game trying to solve this murder, we find the killer right at the end, have one conversation with him in which we get him to confess and that's it.

I googled what the other endings were and they're all some variation of get in the car (sometimes with Kim or Cuno) and drive away or get left behind. I thought the endings would vary a lot more, especially considering how big a deal the narrative is. I didn't get the option to take Titus up on his offer to join the Hardie boys like I wanted.

Despite the disappointing ending I agree with the consensus that this game is great. I love the feel and vibe of the world being so bleak but also beautiful. The writing and art were phenomenal. And I love its sense of humor. Very good game.

I will get the recruit Cuno ending in my other save file. Which I actually think I like more because after finding out about his dad I was really hoping for a way to help him out of that situation. Having him become a cop isn't exactly ideal but it's better than leaving him there. (AU in which Harry goes back to being a gym teacher, marries Kim, and adopts Cuno, please.) And then I might do another playthrough in which I focus on doing all the side quests, including the ones I intentionally didn't do this playthrough (the drink and cigarettes ones because I wanted Harry to get clean) because I failed to finish some of them, thinking I could go back to doing them after the island.

[chvoswxtch]

👋 hi, i'm back again already :)

i'm so glad i'm not alone in being completely feral for those set pictures. like it's insane what just seeing them has done to my brain chemistry. i saw them like an hour or so before i had therapy on wednesday and i felt like i was going insane for the rest of the day. the frank brainrot is real and i will be binge-reading ur fics again (bc i love ur portrayal of frank and i need that man in my life) and just UGH, i can't even explain how this man makes me feel without sounding fucking nuts.

and okay after finishing season two, i just, i have no words. i know that the fandom doesn't always love amy but genuinely, she has such a special place in my heart. and the lengths that frank went to protect her actually just made me want to sob. he absolutely melts my heart and i remember when i watched the start of season 2 all the way back in like september last year, i literally sobbed at the end of the first episode after he had that conversation about maria with the woman he met at the bar. like i am such a simp for this man, it's insane how emotional i get over it sometimes.

also i know you've watched criminal minds (the two fics u wrote were absolutely delicious btw) so i feel like you will understand this but pilgrim's actor being the same as will's just made it slightly hard for me to take him seriously. like the actor did a phenomenal job but i just couldn't help but see him as will. it was so jarring and also just a little bit funny. either way, i didn't hate the storyline as much as i thought but the connection between him and the schultz family did seem a little jarring? or like out of the blue? but i'm not sure if that's because of the writing or because of how long it took me to actually finish the show. but i think it was such an interesting way to connect the two plots even if it confused me?

then okay, like billy this season, he was a complete fucking psycho and usually ben barnes can make psychos be so hot but after he and dumont tried to like break frank by making him think he killed innocents, bro i was not on this man's side anymore. like i honestly was so mad at him. i haven't like been that mad at a character in so long, i was concerned for myself. honestly, i could have strangled billy in that moment. also dumont was just such a kind of dull character? i think the scene in like episode 12 when dumont and madani are having that conversation about like the trauma she (and billy and frank) went through was so good but that was like the most interesting i found her. i'd love to know your thoughts on her!

and like madani? i can't talk about madani without going too feral. like her and frank are my definition of bisexual panic. any time they are on the screen together, i go insane. the thought of the two of them actually is just- it's too much. i feel like madani doesn't get a lot of love in the fandom which always makes me sad because she is (to me) a literal goddess. but anyway.

i have so many more thoughts (mainly about how much i love frank and how fucking good a job jon does at portraying him) but this is already such a long message. i am SO sorry, i can do nothing but apologise

(the only reason it's so long is because none of my friends have actually watched the punisher so i have no one to talk to. sorry court <3)

i'm gonna ramble below the cut with you, please step into my office <3

those set pictures are ruining my life. like it still feels surreal that it's happening?? but i'm so happy they listened to the fans and seem to be taking the reboot seriously. also I know how protective charlie and jon are over matt and frank, so I trust they're making sure it's done right. akjdfhdfh you're too nice to me pls

I loved season 2, personally. it felt a little rushed, but I think that has to due with the fact that they planned more storylines and got cancelled because of the disney plus thing. I liked that we got to see a more fatherly side of frank with amy because it added so many more layers to his personality. we got to see it with the micro's kids, but we got to see it so much more with amy and I loved that

OMG WHEN WILL SHOWED UP I WAS LIKE SIR WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?? WHERE IS JJ??? it's so funny you say that bc the first thing I saw that actor in was a horror movie and then criminal minds but I always think of those two when I see him lmao. the pilgrim/schultz storyline was a little strange but again I think it's one of those things where they planned for more and weren't able to do it with the cancellation

I did not care for dumont's character at all to be candid. I don't really feel like she added much to the storyline. my main complaint about billy in season 2 is he still looked too pretty LMAO. like I get it, it's ben barnes, they can only do so much, but frank rocked his shit too hard for him to have a few scratches. I would've preferred to see him be more evil and psycho and bloodthisty for revenge but that's just me

DINAH MADANI THE WOMAN THAT YOU ARE. she and frank are the definition of bisexual panic. she's just...like that scene of her and karen in the conference room when she's asking her if she knows anything about frank being alive?? karen is a stronger woman than me bc I would've let her bend me over that table. dinah doesn't get enough love in this fandom and that doesn't sit right with me and I feel it is my civic duty to keep the thirst for her alive

pls don't apologize! I am happy to chat about frankie anytime :)

[agentnico]

Trap (2024) review

M. Night Shyamalan seems like a nice dad.

Plot: In M. Night Shyamalan's latest outing, everyone in a large city is in a frenzy. Why? That's because they're up and ready to watch a concert performed by famous pop star Lady Raven. Two of her fans, a man named Cooper and his daughter Riley, attend the concert with high spirits, but things slowly begin to change their tune. Amongst the screams of adoration and sounds of applause, the concert itself has a hidden identity: a front to fish out an infamous serial killer known as The Butcher. With security cameras rigged, armies of policemen with weapons at the ready, and police vehicles surrounding the venue, will anyone survive their concert experience or is there more to The Butcher than meets the eye?

I bloody love M. Night Shyamalan! As a director that is, not as a person as I’ve never met the guy. He could be a real stuck snob for all I know. But as a creative voice in the movie industry I absolutely adore him, as this is someone who to this day has not let the Hollywood machine change or mould him and has stayed true to himself and his style of art form. Granted he does make a lot of crap, from the fascinating beach-that-turns-you-old concept stuck in a goofy and stupidly executed Old to The Happening where he somehow managed to make a tree be the ominous bad guy. And even then I cannot hate the guy as he’s evidently so batshit crazy that I have no choice but to love it. As even at his worst he still manages to come with such unique and outrageous concepts, and of course is also well known for his ridiculous third act plot twists, so even his worst film can still offer some level of entertainment. Except for After Earth. F*** that movie and also f*** Jaeden Smith ya tosser!! Mind you, I’ve never seen After Earth.

Trap is so silly. Like on every level, from each scene featuring a thousands plot-holes, characters talking like unreal people as if they are in some alien reality, random crap occurring for the sake of it…. It’s all absolutely absurd. Josh Hartnett is the glue that holds it all together, as his unhinged performance of a psychopath trying his best to act like a happy fun loving guy only to seem even more like a serial killer was truly hilarious. Also, I found myself kind of rooting for the serial killer? Like what kind of weird Dexter crap is this, Shyamalamadingdong?? I’ve been Stockholm syndromed into liking the bad guy! But anyway, Hartnett is a hoot and honestly he needs to be in more films! Saleka as the pop singer is alright. Her songs aren’t that great nor is her acting, though I do find it super endearing that Shyamalan made this entire film just to give his daughter her big ‘Eras Tour’ concert moment break and to boost her music career. What a sweet papa.

This movie very much is reliant on how willing you are to suspend your sense of disbelief, and on what level are you able to stick with Shyamalan’s shenanigans. This isn’t a particularly good movie, nor is it a bad one, but it’s extremely entertaining from beginning to end, even if the ending does get a little too off the rails. That being said one aspect that was actually phenomenal was the cinematography by Sayombhu Mukdeeprom, who’s a frequent collaborator of Luca Guadagnino’s. There are so many ludicrously delicious frames here, and I admired how each conversation was shot, as tight and intimate as possible while capturing every foolish and panic-induced character response.

Also shout out to Kid Cudi who rocks up for less than 5 minutes of screen time to drop the mic, eye-fuck Josh Hartnett for no other reason other than it’s Josh Hartnett and then drop the best line of the whole damn movie - “I specifically said I wanted honeysuckle sour kombucha, bitch!!”

Overall score: 6/10

[loregoddess]

Diamont from Fire Emblem Engage for 002. Serenoa, Federica, Benedict, Roland, and Geela for 003 - for the send character asks

*claps hands together* I should finally start talking Engage characters, shouldn't I? Thoughts on Diamant under the cut bc they're very long, and also riddled with spoilers for supports and a vague mention of some of the ending details.

For the Character Ranking though...

Frederica

Serenoa

Roland

Benedict

Geela

(I do love all of them a lot, so it's hard to rank them honestly...)

Diamant

How I feel about this character:  Wonderful character, one of my favorites. He strikes a really interesting balance of "outward confidence and calm" with his own internal struggles with anxiety and fear, and the fact that he both strives to appear "perfect and flawless" in contrast with how he's constantly telling others that no one is perfect and that it's okay to be flawed is hmmm, very good. Heartbreaking, but very, very good.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:  Engage is absolutely one of the games that I have many ships I am fond of, and somehow Diamant is one of the few characters who I don't really ship with anyone. Go figure.

My non-romantic OTP for this character:  Love his dynamic with Amber and Jade, and he's a surprisingly good brother to Alcryst too. I also loved his supports with Timerra bc she drags him SO FAR out of his comfort zone, but in a way that's not really malicious or too shocking for him. He also has really interesting dynamics with both Alfred and Ivy, and I enjoyed their supports together because it really does the heavy "show, don't tell" lifting of setting up the "and then all four countries are at peace" ending, bc like, we actually get to see the foundation of those peaceful relations being built in the support conversations. Phenomenal work, really. His supports with Veyle are also top-tier, I really want to know how that spicy food eating contest turned out.

My unpopular opinion about this character:  I guess that I don't....ship him with anyone, not even his popular ships of Alear, Alfred, or Ivy. Also I think his fear of fire magic significantly outweighs his fear of caterpillars, and that he told Alear the caterpillar thing as a way of deflecting and hiding his actual weakness.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: Hmm, I feel like the story covered all the key points that I would have thought "needed" to be covered, considering the plot length and stuff. I guess I'd want, unsurprisingly, more information about his non-existent mom, and how her presence or death had shaped him and Alcryst as children growing up.

my OTP: I'd like for him to be shipped with some healthier anxiety/stress management habits. Staying up all night and then deciding not to go to sleep is so unhealthy (although we do know he gets sleep from Alcryst's supports with Celine, so that's...nice, at least).

my cross over ship: My one crossover ship also contains no characters from any FE game. And it's still a secret to everyone.

a headcanon fact: I don't have too many headcanons bc I'm still letting the story and characters simmer in my head, but I think Amber gives all his friends, and especially Diamant and Jade, alpaca-wool sweaters as gifts at some point or another. Alpaca-wool sweaters become a fashion trend in Brodia bc Diamant is seen wearing them on occasion.

[what-do-1000-swords-look-like]

5x15 - FOMO - The Setup for Eddie's Coming Out

I just have to start out with this: this is purely speculation and I could be completely wrong but the way this episode played out immediately had my Eddie bells going off. I know that the episode was FOMO-themed and it applied to all of the characters but where it applies to Eddie...there is so much gold. Also, I hope I don't offend anyone with this post, that's never my intention.

So first, we have the conversation between Eddie and May in the beginning of the episode, about the influencer Selene aka Rebecca. Where Eddie mentions “A high price to pay for living a fake life.” I found this particular line interesting because technically, in a way, he's been doing just that. Not that he's fake but he's been suppressing the trauma and his emotions/dealing with it for so long that in a way, yes he is faking a smile and moving forward, always for Christopher's sake and because he doesn't know anything different thanks to Ramon's teachings (though he is definitely learning, the fact that he mentions he's in therapy to May this episode is phenomenal progression he has made; can you imagine s3 Eddie admitting this to someone who isn't Bobby or Buck?). The conversation continues about how Rebecca's regular life wasn't enough and then boom, Eddie says the kicker once May mentions FOMO and explains it: "You make it sound like some kind of sickness."

Immediately my head snapped up from my notes and I did a double take, then jumped for the remote to rewind it to make sure I heard him right.

When I heard this line one more time, my instincts kicked into high gear and I was like, 'oh!'

They're literally playing on the word "FOMO" for something else, in his case, holy shit! So I rewatched the scene again with this in mind, and sure enough it made total sense.

So I continued watching the episode (which was really good btw!) and several other things popped out at me:

1) Reality Show Emergency: When this happens, the guy passes out at the altar and sure enough, the 118 show up. (I would also like to point out that this is the SECOND time we've seen Buck happily soaking up the attention and Bobby shooting him down to remain professional, while this is on point for Buck's character and funny as hell, Oliver is hysterical, there is a reason for this, especially since Lucy was filling into Eddie's role more this episode, this emergency relates to Eddie, and so did the quinceanera emergency a few episodes back, the one of the guy not landing on his feet properly & getting hurt) So then Hen takes front and center (more on that in a bit) and she finds out that the heartbeat is muffled (interesting) and that pressure is keeping his heart from beating fully, and the organs in his body are on the wrong side. The writers couldn't have laid this out any more perfectly if they tried. We already know one of this season's themes is heart, especially when it comes to Eddie. But here we have yet another heart not possibly working right or being prevented from operating as the norm (i.e. Eddie thinking he's having a heart attack when really it's a panic attack, the felon's heart needing to be pumped even though he shot himself so it can be kept alive for the transplant).

So we have a performative marriage for a reality show, where the bride was worried that she wouldn't get married before reaching a certain age and she doesn’t want to be alone, and the groom passes out because of a heart issue where it's not working at 100%. Hmmm 🤔

Then Buck confirms to Lucy that the show is a sociological experiment, based on compatibility. Oh-kay... Then the groom gets disqualified from the show due to his “undisclosed medical condition” even though his "heart was in the right place, well maybe not yours specifically" and the bride gets married to someone else. Who else do we know who always has his heart in the right place when making decisions for Christopher for example? Exactly. -> This emergency was meant to show us that something is off and meant to start subtly suggesting (though again I'm not sure they're really being all that subtle at this point) that this is in relation to Eddie (and when I say off, I don't mean who Eddie is as a person or his sexuality, I meant they are trying to hint at that Eddie is being performative when it comes to women/the idea of marriage, that's all I meant)

2) Social Influencer Emergency Ending: At the end of the episode, we have 100%Rebecca saying she was afraid of who she really was, that it’s always better to be yourself, that family is important. “I guess it took a near death experience for her to actually appreciate her life” (4x13 shooting anyone? while Eddie may not be as traumatized by that particular event, I don't think it's any coincidence that what made him explode a couple of episodes ago was the knowledge that everyone in his unit that he saved is now dead). Then Eddie and May have this closing conversation: she's wondering if she’s living her life for herself (Eddie; that age old question of when he will follow his own heart), her choosing to look out for Athena after Athena almost died (Eddie; wanting to resume marriage with Shannon for Christopher's sake, always making decisions for Christopher but not for himself like Ana, etc).

Then:

Eddie: “There’s nothing wrong with wanting to protect your family” -> 'There's nothing wrong with me making decisions that I think are best for Christopher and for me to try to keep giving him the life I think is best for him and want for him'

May: “But before all that I wanted to be someone, a very specific someone, and I think I’m losing that person”

Eddie: “Trauma often causes us to turn inward”

May's reaction here:

Because that wasn't what she was saying at all. While Eddie is right and this is a profound way of looking at it, this isn't exactly what May was saying. Yes, she was traumatized by Athena's attack and took the job in order to make sure it didn't happen again, possibly a trauma response (I'm not a mental health professional or trauma expert so I don't want to say that too definitively) but what May did wouldn't really be considered 'turning inward'. (not the context Eddie is putting it in) She is speaking along the lines of the theme of the episode: FOMO. She made a decision based on her family and wanting to protect them, a decision that set her on one path, away from what she originally planned for herself. But because this episode relates to Eddie so strongly as well, this particular piece of the conversation makes it more than evident to me that this word FOMO (and the feeling that comes with it) actually represents something different for him.

And sure enough:

Eddie: “Guess therapy’s rubbing off on me." (he laughs it off after seeing May's reaction and because he does, so does she) Then: "You hid in a place you knew, where you could feel safe and keep your family safe, I understand the motivation.” May: “Does that make me a coward?” -> interesting phrasing here, again this is definitely about Eddie, on the surface it's about May and her story line, deeper than that it's about Eddie and his internal conflicts this season, exactly why they had this Eddie and May interaction happening not only here but also in the beginning of the episode

Eddie: “I don’t think cowards usually ask that question.” -> while this is a great line (and he's right) it also pertains to Eddie; if he's doing what he needs to do to keep Christopher safe, to make him happy, can he really be considered being a coward for doing that? And for someone to question the status quo, that's incredibly brave and he knows it, but he's not ready yet himself

May: “So how do I get back to that person I wanted to be?” Eddie: “I’ll let you know when I figure that one out” (he smiles and gets up) -> this is Eddie's whole arc this season, trying to figure himself out and who that person is

And the writing of this is so brilliant that it's also done in a way that it also relates to one of Eddie's surface issues: choosing what he thought was best for Christopher by leaving the 118 but he desperately misses his 118 family, his job as a firefighter, and wants to get back to it but isn't able to yet. I was so glad they didn't have Josh there this episode (after that whole exchange with Eddie, I also liked how the contrast was set up here with May, showing that she was accepting of Eddie assistance in an emergency) but I think they did that because it would have been too on the nose had Eddie and Josh had this conversation instead, and the show is trying to build up to this big reveal about Eddie.

3) Hen and Karen: Going back to Hen and Karen, I don't think it's any coincidence that Karen took front and center this episode along with Hen. Especially considering we haven't seen too much of Karen (or their relationship; btw where is Denny???) this season before this. Or that Karen was the one who was experiencing FOMO and "feeling old". And I especially don't think it's a coinkydink that Hen was the one who took center stage with the reality wedding emergency (while Chim was almost subdued and to the side) or that Hen and Karen were watching that show at one point in the episode.

And what kills me even more is that during that viewing scene you have Karen stating the couple will never last and Hen mentioning their compatibility is off the charts (a la Buck at the emergency scene). And after this, we see on the tv that the bride hits the groom and storms off with the groom looking after her, seeming surprised and worried slightly. Then when Karen suggests they watch the finale to find out who is right, Hen shuts the tv off and turns over saying she wants to sleep.

Because when you peel back the layers, in actuality, this is about the idea of not only Eddie but also slightly Buck and Eddie. I know that people have noticed the parallels between Buck and Karen before but if I had to take a guess with this episode, I would say Karen represents Eddie here (the FOMO feeling) and Hen is Buck (not only in similar dialogue and of course Buck looking to fix things for Eddie, Hen wanting to fix this for Karen). Not to mention that Karen refers to her job and her co-workers being younger than her (when Eddie is missing the 118 and is bonding with May at his new job who is younger than him & who is feeling FOMO herself that he's talking to her about). "You know what I was like at that age. It was work hard, work harder." (Eddie to a T)

And while we don't see resolution for Eddie here (because it's a major plot point this season that requires this big build-up/reveal), we do see resolution for Karen. While Hen didn't "fix it" for her, Karen finds a happy middle ground and the last time we see them, Karen and Hen are happily dancing at a club after catching the credit card thief.

4) Chim's quote (as well as Maddie's FOMO about Jee-Yun's firsts moment): "There’s no such thing as making up for missed time" -> This is true and such a contrast to what he told Maddie about her catching up on Jee-Yun's moments with his photos and videos. But he's saying it after Hen has spoken to the 118 about Karen's FOMO & it's an unfortunate truth that all of the characters experiencing it have to realize. Yet we also see Maddie's FOMO resolved by her being there for another first for Jee-Yun and telling Chim not to record it, to just enjoy the moment. (something that Eddie will also have to come to realization with for himself, because once he has his moment of self-realization his FOMO is going to be incredibly strong)

5) Alleged upcoming interaction with Ramon and Eddie going back to Texas (his original home) to do it: It makes absolute sense that the show is sending Eddie back to where it all began for him: Texas. And it makes even more sense that Eddie is going to try to "resolve" things with Ramon, the man who taught him to keep moving forward no matter how hard it was, basically to suppress his emotions/traumas, etc. The guy who was more focused on the medal Eddie got for his service and showing it off than on how it affected Eddie himself or how he got that very medal. Personally, I am very anti Diaz parents (because they're greedy manipulative fucks for parents) but I do sincerely hope that Eddie is able to resolve whatever he is going there to resolve, and if that makes things better with his parents then I am all for it.

That being said, I have a sneaking suspicion (and I could be wrong but this is just my opinion) that either Eddie is going to have his self-realization in this episode while he's dealing with Ramon in Texas or he's going to have self-acceptance (meaning he's already aware of who he is and how he feels but has been fighting it). "Inward" -> internalized. I just hope for his sake that his parents somehow become better people and love and accept him for who he is. (but I know this is more of a naive hope sadly, based on their characterizations set up already in the story)

Going back to Buck in those emergencies:

Here's what I think: this isn't Buck being performative or attention-seeking. The attention is on him and he's enjoying it but not because he craves it or expects it. To me, while these are both hilarious, are indicative of Buck's character in a couple of different ways. One, this is Buck, genuine Buck. Two, he is not shying away or being grumpy or ignoring the limelight. If we go with the theme of this meta, then I would venture to say that since both emergencies feature Eddie in some way (without him actually being there), this shows two things: 1) Buck is not going to think differently of Eddie once Eddie has his self-realization or treat him any differently (which I personally think Eddie somewhat fears, he doesn't want to lose Buck or his close friendship/family with him), he will be full on accepting and won't even bat an eyelash & 2) Buck is very confident in who he is...on some level. Meaning that while Buck has his own issues and background, as we've seen in Buck Begins and with his relationships, there is something Buck is very confident in and doesn't shy away from or have any doubts about. And it doesn't bother him if any attention comes to that something about him.

I also think it's interesting that both times Bobby had to be the one to get Buck to knock it off and leave, get back to work basically. Not that Bobby would have an issue at all if Eddie and/or Buck were gay, bisexual, or any other sexual identity, but it does make me wonder at the work aspect of it:

And I also think it's very interesting that this is the first time that we've seen Buck be a bit more open and comfortable around Lucy, the very first episode that we see her definitely stepping into Eddie's role in their work partnership, being a (temporary) replacement for him. While things may be okay with Taylor right now, I doubt that is why we see this friendly demeanor all of a sudden spark up. Especially in that moment above where both Bobby and Lucy tell Buck no (as Eddie would have done had he been there) before Buck says it himself and leaves. Especially with them showing us in framing just how comfortable Buck has gotten with Lucy (with the seating in the firetruck) and even Lucy's response to Buck's when discussing the Karen situation with Hen and the rest of the 118.

I also think once Eddie has this self-realization moment (or self-acceptance) this is what will help him eventually come back to the 118. (I don't think it's going to magically happen the very next episode, but the show is certainly building up to this and keeping him separated from the 118, minus Buck and Bobby, for a reason)

So basically tl;dr: Eddie Diaz is coming out this season y'all. And this will be yet another benchmark on the path to long range Buddie. Buck realizing things about Eddie (and possibly himself) will be next, mark my words.

[dragonmuse]

Do you think Izzy or Lucius ever safe worded out of something with each other. I love the verse so much and you keeping it an such a high quality and constantly adding to it is phenomenal thank you so much

So one of my favorite ongoing jokes in the verse (that I honestly have no idea if it lands, but amuses the shit out of me) is that Izzy's safeword is just 'no'. Which means every time he says 'no' to Lucius, he's using his safeword, sometimes in really benign, non-sexual situations. Like every time. A personal favorite is from Dirty Deeds when he safewords out of having any say in what the couch he makes Lucius buy looks like. In some relationships, that might weaken it's power, but because he and Lucius are pretty much always in a 'scene' so to speak, it's always on the table.

Lucius' initial inclination that Izzy needed practice with the word on both sides was correct and it's helped him set a lot of other boundaries and respect other people's far more.

Initially it was also Lucius' safeword, but they re-negotiated that because Lucius kept forgetting an using it casually since it's about as basic a word as you can get. His is 'red' because he still wanted to keep it simple and is something he's unlikely to say on it's own since it's a descriptor.

Lucius has used it, both in the bedroom and in their lives. If Izzy starts to sink into subspace when they're in an unfriendly environment, he'll use it more to get him out of it than anything else. In the bedroom...Izzy's limits are just way further out than Lucius' when it comes to pain tolerance and enjoying suffering, so yeah it's come up.

For Izzy, post-safeword protocol depends on the severity. If it's just him setting a simple limit on a conversation or such, then it gets dropped and they move on to the next thing. If it's something they do need to do/discuss, then Lucius will say that and then let Izzy take the lead on when that happens. If it's something that goes beyond the pale for Izzy in the bedroom, they will immediately leave the room that it occurred in. Izzy gets to dictate what happens next, but they always leave, that's critical because they both get ick feelings about a space where something not great happens.

For Lucius, it depends if he was doing it for Izzy or for himself. If it's for Izzy, that's easy because he just checks in with him about it. If it's for himself. that's trickier. Lucius' first instinct is to retreat into himself, but that doesn't actually help him feel better. He also may not want to be touched at all though, so they've worked out a system of Izzy doing some light caretaking instead, usually bringing him water, a snack and some form of distracting media.

I was gonna ficlet this, but I realized I wanted to write more about the behind the scenes part of it. I think about their relationship a truly disturbing amount.

[simmonsized]

Oh my god!! That was just great and I loved every second of reading that. Had to reread the post a couple times because I was so excited by the notification. The connections between Bro and The Handmaid you made are phenomenal! That’s exactly why I’m obsessed with them interacting and honestly, Bro interacting with people is kinda funny to me. Bro is funny without trying.

Don’t worry about how much you talk, I’m very much into reading long posts! I’m asking because I just want to hear another persons point of view and reasoning. No need to hold back.

Mom and Bro… sigh, I love them a lot :(

Their interactions in The Run and Go either make me laugh or pity them. Either way, it’s great. Sometimes I like having fun with them and exchanging conversations about them with a mutual of mine. How much would you say Dirk & Roxy are in their dynamic?

Sorry for the delay, I went to bed early last night haha!

Honestly I have many things to say about Mom and Bro, all the time! They're just so fun! I like writing them in RNG (the run and go) specifically because I love the concept of dealing with After, of dealing with things that came before, but already happened, and can't be prevented, and the guardians just happen to fulfill that desire pretty much to a T!

Warning most of this is just like. Fun headcanon stuff so sorry!

For me, I like to imagine that Bro and Mom knew each other when they were "kids", because it's implied in [I'd rather not talk about Hussie's awful Skaianet lore but it just sits in the back of my mind] that Jake Harley was their benefactor/sponsor, so I always imagine that they grew up separately until they were somewhere between 10 and 13, and then the beta guardians kind of like. Collected them I guess, at least temporarily. They met, became friends, stayed in contact when they separated, and then (once again all fake headcanons) Bro started to become more like how he is now, and after 16 he kinda walked out of Nanna and Grandpa's lives, and Mom became Grandpa's protege (more implied about Hiveswap which isn't entirely canon but sometimes I think about it anyway) . I like to think they still called and maybe emailed (cringes in 90s communication format) and stuff, but Bro was preparing for Dave at this point, and Mom was preparing for Rose. They grew apart, things kept happening u know, as they do, and they just! Stopped talking. Probably mostly Bro's fault lol

Anyway so all that being said, since they are to a point Roxy and Dirk, I think that there maybe have been a time before Bro was cruel, when he was Dirk, was still just a kid who cared a lot about what his friends thought of him, who maybe was a little awkward and only had one fucking friend, in Mom. He's a weird dude, for sure, but Roxy (Mom) likes weird, and they're both very smart, and very funny. I think they would have something in common, in the way that they both had a predestiny, in the way that their lives were already being carved out for them before they even had the chance to decide for themselves (i already said this about bro but it does extend to mom too lol). Much like Roxy and Dirk were the only two people who knew what it was like in a future without humans, I imagine that Bro and Mom probably felt, to a point, that they were the only two people in the world who had the kind of raw fucking deal they were dealt. I imagine they were shitty to each other, in that playful way that two very sarcastic people can be, because I always imagine the guardians as being a little bit sharper around the edges than their kid counterparts, even at the same age.

I think a lot about the fact that aside from being Ectobiological creations, they were still kids, who still grew up in “our” world, who had a bunch of fucking like. Genuine life experience and interaction with the outside world. We often see the homestuck kids as isolated in their own little worlds, for a variety of reasons, but it’s more interesting to me, to think of the guardians as being more connected to the outside world, in part because of the mystery in their upbringing, and also just. 30+ years life on earth!

I don't think Bro is a good enough person to actually stop Mom from drinking, but I imagine it probably "annoyed" him in a way, u know Cal influence etc etc but I do think he'd tolerate her, if only out of a kind of weird obligation mixed with genuine affection he'd probably never admit to. I do think Mom genuinely loved him, and though I headcanon the guardians as always knowing they had an obligation, I think she probably would have been happier, if they had been able to stay together. I like to think of the guardians as the worst reflection of the kids' inner selves, Roxy's addiction, Dirk's tendency towards calculation and manipulation, but they are still people, and it never stops being interesting, the concept of reconnecting with someone who you loved, who you failed, who failed you. Yeah!

Some of my favorite things Dirk has ever said about Roxy, for context, which influences a lot of how I write Bro and Mom's relationship:

[wonderwall-dreaming]

I apologize in advance if some of what I’m about to say doesn't make sense, it's nearly 4 AM and I’m exhausted, but I need to share my immediate thoughts about episode 5.

I’ll be honest, it wasn't what I was expecting then again I’m not sure what I was expecting, honestly.

The one thing I was convinced would happen was that we would meet Jake and we didn't. I’m frustrated about that because he's been hinted at since episode 3 and he is part of Marc’s story. It feels weird that we haven’t met him yet.

I don't see how they’re going to wrap all of this up with only one episode left. It feels like this series should be longer like WandaVision was since it's limited and there’s so much to cover.

It was great that we got some questions answered, but at the same time, this episode posed so many more.

So, yeah, I’m a bit concerned about the finale.

With all of that being said, I did enjoy the episode, I thought it was fantastic. Oscar Issac is a phenomenal actor and his performances as Marc and Steven in this episode had my emotions all over the place.

I loved how Steven pointed out that Khonshu has been manipulating Marc since the beginning because it's true. He has been. I saw someone recently say how the 2016 comic run ending for Khonshu didn't make sense for the show because he isn't as bad, but he is, just in more subtle ways. You hear it in the way he speaks to Marc at the end of episode 2.

My heart dropped when Steven “died” because it was crushing, but he can't really die, can he? From my understanding that isn't how DID works. An alter can't die, can they? Please, if I’m wrong about this, let me know.

Last thing, I don't get why they haven't said Marc has DID. It seems like they're skirting around it and the audience is supposed to assume that's what he's dealing with.

In the comic runs I’ve read, they’ve said he has DID. So, I don't understand why they wouldn't say that on the show? It seems strange to me to avoid that conversation.

Let me end my rambling here. If I've said anything in this post that is harmful or incorrect, please let me know. The last thing I want to do is accidentally be hurtful or spread misinformation.

[fighterkimburgess]

The Why Behind Adam's Behaviour in 8x16

I was rewatching 8x15/16 again - because I must hate myself - and one thing hit me as I watched. Why was Adam that scared for Kim straight away? Like we know he loves her, we know he cares about her. But he was so angry with her, even after the custodian conversation.

I think they made plans to have a conversation about their relationship after the raids in 8x15.

At the end of 8x13 they end with a handshake, it's all business between them. They're family, there's always going to be something between them, but they both know they're not in a good place then. And things do get slightly better after that. But Adam's still really hurt by what she said. His face when he says "The questions you have about me? Things haven't been too good between us." He's still so hurt. He's hurt that she thought he'd be a stone cold murderer. He's hurt she jumped to conclusions. He's hurt she didn't ask him how he was before wondering what happened.

But then she trusts him enough with her daughter. Because they were going to have a baby together. Because somewhere she loves him, even if they're messed up right now.

Adam's still in so much pain. They barely interact in 8x14, there's literally about two seconds where they're beside each other, and it's in the bullpen while they're talking. I remember spiralling just finally having them in the same frame again, and they leaned into each other slightly. (@adamruz did a phenomenal gifset of it here) That's the one time they're beside each other all episode.

But in between 8x14 and 15, I think Adam does a lot of thinking. And when 8x15 ends up involving human trafficking - trafficking young girls - he realises exactly what he's signed up for. He did it willingly, but it hits him there. He sees the toll this case takes on Kim because she's a mother, and she's thinking "what if that was my daughter?". And it hits him - what if it was Makayla? What if it was the girl he's pledged legally he'll look after if Kim needs it.

And this makes him realise he's got a lot to learn about girls, and raising girls, because he's got one sister and they're not particularly close and he was mostly raised by his dad. But learning this first hand, actually seeing and understanding how hard it is for women and girls compared to guys, that's what he gets. He knew it offhand, but now he knows it.

And that makes him realise the why of why Kim did what she did in 8x10. Why she felt she had to do it. Why she cut him out after the shooting, and why she jumped to conclusions. He always knew that the world was specifically dangerous for women and girls, but now it's hit him. Now he's looking at the world not through a "I'm a cop and I know the statistics of crimes against women, how could I not?" lens, but through a "this is dangerous for Kim specifically with what we do, and if anything happens to her I'm gonna have a daughter and I need to realise that.".

And that's what makes him realise why Kim pulled away in 8x10. Why she asked "what did you do?". Because she's not thinking just about herself anymore, she has to think about Makayla, and what's right for her and what's going to keep her safe. And with how Adam was acting (understandably tbh), until she spoke to him she couldn't be sure what was happening, and she's now a mother and her daughter has to come first.

So I think he realised that they need to have the conversation because he needs Kim to know that yeah, he's still hurt by what she said, but he gets it and he forgives her because he knows why she did it. And I think they decided that they'd talk after the raids, because they both knew it'd be long and emotional and work had to come first.

But then Kim's abducted and Adam's the one who discovers it and it just breaks something in him. Because he knows their job is dangerous - every single member of their unit has been abducted at least once (remember that time he and Kev were held in the basement in 4x17? I'm counting that as an abduction). He's lived through Kim and Hailey being abducted, he's lived through Kim being held hostage with Roman shortly after she was shot. He knew this could happen, knew this was a chance in their jobs. But he's just realised exactly what this means. Because if they don't get Kim back safe and sound, he's a parent. And apart from everything else, he needs Kim to get back because he needs to tell her he gets it. Even before she was taken, he got it and he understands and he forgives her.

I think this is also why Hailey bringing up Makayla hits him the way it does. It's not just giving up on Kim (at least how he thinks), but it's taking the spot he's promised Kim he'd take. He told her that if anything happened, he'd look after Makayla. And he does what he promised because he knows he has to, even though he wants to stay out there looking for her.

Now this doesn't excuse any of his actions - especially with Kev - but I think it goes through some of what happened. Because that fight also felt out of place for me. There was always going to be something between the two of them about reform at some point. It was always aiming towards a fight with them. But in the entire time they've been friends, in the eight seasons we've known the two of them and seen their friendship grow, the chances of them getting violent with each other just never seemed to be a thing that would happen. It especially never made sense that Kev was the one who moved towards physical action first. Yeah, Adam threw the first punch, but Kev was walking straight to him to push him back. And it never made sense to me that Adam would throw a punch at the one person he knows cares about Kim as much as he does.

But this? Realising that he and Kim were so close to getting everything out? Were going to talk and lay it out, and he could explain everything? I'll never say that Adam was right in what he did - we all know he wasn't and his behaviour was inexcusable - but it's understandable there.

Honestly I could be talking out of my ass right now, but it never made sense to me how he went from so angry and barely talking to her to so scared in the space of an episode. But thinking they were going to try make things work? That makes sense to me. I would love to hear other people's thoughts on this, or if people think I'm totally off base?

[themerc]

My thoughts on NTTD

So... I saw the movie ten days ago, and I've been conflicted over it ever since. I'm still not sure if writing this post is a good idea or not. Those who have read my comments in Slack etc certainly already know. Don't be surprised if this post just disappears eventually - I need to get my thoughts out, but tomorrow I might feel like they're not anyone else's to see.

I hate negativity in fandom spaces and it's not the purpose of my posting this at all. But I'm not good at expressing my thoughts and feelings in a short, brief chat conversations so here I am again, trying to explain and rationalize even to myself. I'm genuinely very happy for anyone who completely enjoyed the movie after the long wait and I'm excited to see so many new people coming into the fandom.

But....

But. They killed James Bond.

James Bond, a character who is indestructible.

What has always made Bond an impossible kill for his enemies, and indeed for the scriptwriters, is his ability to endlessly regenerate and start fresh. He's not a nice guy, but he's efficient and resilient. He's dedicated and focused to his work and more importantly the cause behind that work, so that he isn't bound by the rule book - whatever gets the job done is fair game. He's portrayed as impossibly good at his work, to the point that it's ridiculous in some movies.

So - Bond is not a nice guy - on the contrary. He's flawed, an asshole really, and *knows* it. Craig!Bond especially. He feels and cares deeply and based on CR and Spectre, falls in love easily and quickly. Those are difficult traits for someone in his profession and he pays a high price emotionally for who and what he is. But it has never stopped him from doing his job. Coming back from the 'dead'. From being Bond.

Until NTTD. I went into the movie having read some spoilers but not too much - still enough to expect the major plot points and fear that seeing it would make me lose my interest in anything Bond-related for the foreseeable future. So... I sit there, fearing the worst and gradually start getting excited, thinking 'oh my god, they *actually* made a *spy movie* out of this, all the characters are SO good, they are not force-feeding me the Bond/Madeleine romance storyline I never bought in Specre.... The first half of the movie was superb, enjoyable, classic Bond action. Exceptional acting, breath-taking scenery, interesting start for a plot (after the non-sensical intro in Winter Wonderland....) It got my hopes up ridiculously fast. Only to serve a real slap in the face in the end.

James Bond was killed around halfway in, in Noway, by a five-year-old girl (and incidentally her mother). After that, it was just a matter of watching the inevitable trainwreck happen. Because when Bond is no longer *Bond* in all the essential character traits that define him, he is as good as dead. He WILL be dead. There is no other outcome for him.

I was, after all, force-fed the conventional family storyline that I feared would happen, and it was done in a boring way that made me consider my dad as a likely candidate to play the next "Bond" if they keep this characterization. If they so desperately wanted to include the child, why not have her actually NOT be Bond's, like Madeleine said at first? There was a brief moment of relief for me at that point, where I thought, *oh, excellent!!* until I realised they would not be doing like that for real. It could have been such a good way to show character development for Bond, being compassionate to someone else's kid and *still* care about Madeleine. They would have been able to establish a family of sorts out of what should really matter - shared experiences and actual history together. Rather than have it implied that the only meaningful legacy of everyone, even a phenomenal character like Bond, must be having a biological child? Never mind that he never even knew she existed, and the child's whole existence really is the choice of a woman he had a brief affair with - and suddenly after all that mistrust that lead to their breakup, seeing the child, he's magically in love with her again? Why, oh WHY is the world like this? In order to please the large audience, they just HAD to go for the butchered Disney ending that makes very little sense?

Other things that I count as negatives were...

- The villain treatment they gave Mallory. Just, NOPE. He was an ally in everything that came before, and suddenly out of the blue he's become an antagonist? Right, okayyyyy.... still trying to wrap my head around that.

- Safin and Blofeld were both so good, but so underdeveloped and wasted in their 'villain potential'. Blofeld is the ultimate arch-nemesis, DO SOMETHING with that concept when you have a brilliant actor like Christoph Waltz in the role. Safin had barely any interaction with Bond and while I think his characterization was good, his

motives were really vague to me??? I still don't know what he intended to DO with his nanobots or what his goals were? Also his age doesn't make any sense compared to Madeleine in the beginning.

-Moneypenny still didn't get much screentime and even fewer lines.

THERE WERE SO MANY GOOD BITS THOUGH. I can't say I hated the movie. I didn't hate it. I was just surprisingly deeply affected, and the good didn't quite manage to cancel out the bad for me. I will always love that movie for individual scenes and ideas that made especially the first half the absolute BEST the Bond franchise has ever given me. It gave us canon gay Q; brilliant, inspiring, empowering Nomi; sweet and sassy and adorably dorky Paloma who could *also* kick ass; and a really surprising, heart-wrenching, CR-mirroring death scene for Felix. It even *tried* to be an actual spy movie at some points. Every scene with Q in it was packed with stuff that made my 00Q shipper heart beat a little faster. Ben Whishaw is just a brilliant actor who can bring *so much character* into the tiniest of moments even without any dialogue. And I loved the depth of feeling Daniel Craig was able to convey. Even though I was not invested in the romance at all and could not relate to the family drama, that intensity is more *contagious* than the cursed nanobots.

I haven't lost my interest in all things Bond, like I feared, and I still want to participate in the fandom activities and read and write etc. But I don't feel like I can touch NTTD even with a long stick at this point, maybe never. The only fix-it I'm going to write is a way around NTTD canon existing at all. Usually I like to stick as close to canon as possible, so it won't be easy. ### Edit; I'm making this post public again for the fest because some headcanons I might post are heavily influenced by my NTTD experience.

[yourjughead]

Gearheads pt.2

Pairings: ReaderxSweetPea

Warnings: Angst, mentions of blood, few punches, fluff, hints to domestic violence (no description)

A/N: the response to part one was absolutely phenomenal!!! Thank you so so much! Already have an idea for my next sweet prlea fic...if you're not already sick of them. Hope I didn't ruin it!

-----------------------------------

Sweet Pea pov

Yn would come over every second evening after that. She'd stay and help with the bikes and other cars, almost part of the furniture at this stage. At the start the Serpents in the garage were cautious, now they found themselves missing her when she's not around and running to her with their car troubles when she was.

“How'd that happen?” We both were arm deep in an engine and as she pulled one hand free, I saw the deep red marks on her arm.

“Cat”

“A cat? When were you around cats? I thought you were allergic to cats?”

“Right now I'm allergic to you”

“Cute” I rolled my eyes...and it was. Over the past month and a half I found myself falling for the girl behind the cheer uniform more and more.

“Hey Beauty and the Beast, stop flirting you're making me sick” Fangs threw himself back in a chair, legs on the desk watching us. He was one of the few in the garage who were still weary of yn.

“Oh Phil is here, my time to jet, bye Sweet Pea” she slung her bag over her shoulder, kicking one of the legs of Fangs chair from beneath him sending him flying back. I could hardly breathe with the laughter. I think Fangs started to like her a bit more after then, she can hold her own.

We spent the next Friday our usual way, head stuck in the engine.

“Do you not cheer anymore?”

“Nope, gave it up”

“Why? I thought you loved it?”

“I love this more” thank God she couldn't see me very well right now because I was smiling like an idiot.

“Would you rather I cheer?”

“If it meant you had to wear that tight little uniform then yeah” she nudged me and we laughed. Our conversation ebbed and flowed between a range of different topics then, it was just easy with her. I never felt the need to hide the snake skin around her. And then somehow we arrived here

“Do you want kids yn?”

“Today, no. Eventually, yes. You?” she grinned.

“Yeah I'd love them”

“Would you like them to be Serpents?”

“Oh of course! They wouldn't be mine otherwise hahaha I'm sure you'd want yours to not though?”

“You know if you asked me that two months ago I might have said yeah, they're not allowed be in the Serpent's but now.”

“now what?”

“Now I'd be so proud of them if they turned out to be half the Serpent you are” she smiled gently as she cleaned off her hands with a rag. Can't take it anymore. I caught her and pulled her into me, enveloping her in a kiss. It was glorious. It was like a film. It was perfect. I pulled back from her and dropped her arms that I held.

“I'm sorry I'm so sorry”

“It's okay Sweet Pea, it's okay” her agape mouth and shocked tone made my nervous one worse. And then it went further down hill.

“Yn! What the hell are you doing here!?”

“Chris?! What the hell are you doing here?! How did you know I was here?!”

“I pinged your phone! Good thing I did too! You shouldn't be hanging around with these thugs!” he lunged for her arm to grab her forcefully and she flinched, almost collapsing to the floor then all the jigsaw puzzle pieces clicked. Chris marked yn, chris has been hurting her. That's why she quit cheer, to be away from him more. I jumped in front of yn before he caught her.

“Go home Chris, leave her alone.”

“You can't tell me what to do thug! She's my girlfriend!”

“Call me a thug one more time, I dare you” I began squaring up to him and he did the same to me.

“Guys please stop!” Yn stood at the exact wrong moment and Chris’ fist met her face for what I feel may not have been the first time. She hit the floor and I hit him. Tackling him to the ground we rolled briefly, he clipped my jaw with with his bare knuckles, my own going for his nose. Blood ran from it almost instantly and my fist met his eye swiftly. Before I knew it Fangs was hauling me off Chris. Chris jumped to his feet and was met with a swift punch to the cheekbone from my best friend.

“Fucking Northsider! Know your fucking place!” Fangs hissed. Chris raised his head off the ground before deciding against it and collapsing again.

“I'm going to close my eyes and count to ten, if you're not gone by the end of that, I start calling some seniors and they're not going to like the fact that you attacked their star mechanic and her assistant.” He began counting and Chris began scrambling. I was thankful for him always... despite the fact that he called me her assistant.

I turned to yn who was sitting on the ground with her head in her knees, almost in a little ball shape. I looked at Fangs and he nodded, leaving the garage and sliding over the door. We were alone again.

I crossed to sit next to her, wiping the small stream of blood coming from my lip. I could see the bruising forming on the side of YNs eye. I wrapped an arm around her and pulled her into my side, she leaned in.

“You know why I like cars?” She barely whispered

“Why?”

“Because when they're broken you can fix them, they never stay broken...they don't have to just rot away for the rest of their days knowing they can't be fixed...I'm not like a car” she half cried into my side before I turned, pulling her fully into me, she was balled up between my legs, head resting on my chest. I wanted to cuddle her like this forever.

“Yn, you and I have fixed cars that should have been left to rot years ago. We can fix anything together... including you if you feel broken...and I bet you have much simpler wiring” I felt her chuckle lightly against me. She looked up through red eyes to mine.

“I swear to God if he ever comes near you again he'll have the whole gang to deal with...you're basically one of us now...I mean...if that's what you want”. She wrapped her hand around the nape of neck and pulled me to meet her lips again. Every nerve in my body stood up.

“Serpent Gearheads”

“The best kind”

“....do you want your notebook back ever orrr” she nudged me before kissing me again.

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Much love Xx

Tag: @sunshine51879 @deanilostmyshoe

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