#not to be confused to when people make up cute names for crime allegations

[spicyicymeloncat]

Saw two posts recently and I disagreed with them for the same reason and that is, y’all better not be falling into the pit of dissing things bc they’re not “sophisticated” enough for you or something.

Like someone complaining about cutesy wutesy terms or like stupid fanfic writing. Some people be saying stuff like ‘no! You have to like real books! Only use real words to describe yourself!’ Who are you? The cringe police?

Actually the colloquialisation of language is kinda a complicated topic. Yeah we shouldn’t dumb down words and stuff when it comes to discussing serious things and we shouldn’t be calling anyone else things that they don’t want to be called. But if someone is using casual language to refer to themselves and they’re someone who can ‘reclaim’ (for lack of a better term) that language, then I don’t think it’s hurting anyone. Sometimes we need to use serious language and sometimes we don’t.

And let’s not make fun of hashtag weird fanfic or fandom (as long as it doesn’t actually promote harmful views or cause harm).

There’s obviously exceptions to both these points but my general rule is, let’s not attack things for the sake of ‘it’s weird’ or ‘different’. Being judgemental and shaming people to conform to arbitrary standards is the talking point of literally every single hate crimer. That mindset is used by ableists, racists, sexists, queerphobes etc etc. Lets not forget that.

[i-dentities]

[Subject name: Unknown. Begin transcript.]

Oh, Simmons, Simmons, Simmons. You want to talk about Simmons? Okay, I’ll bite. What a useless fucking idiot that man was. I mean, really, he was manipulative and cruel, but he didn’t make a lick of sense half the time. All bravado, you know?

[DSO Agent Inverness: But he was worth the effort of having him infected in Tatchi?]

Well, of course. We had a… complicated history. He made me what I am. He just never expected I’d be smarter and crueller than him.

[Agent Inverness: What do you mean, he made you what you are? When did you meet?]

[BSAA representative Jacobs: This is useless. Make her tell us where the Neo-Umbrella bases are.]

[Agent Inverness: We need to know the extent of Simmons’ involvement and the effect on the American government.]

[SSA Forster: Answer the question, Ms. Wong, and we’ll get you some water.]

[Subject looks up at the speaker, then into the camera on the wall.] 

Is that my FBI profiler? Boy, I’ve got the whole menagerie, Special Supervisory Agent Randall Forster. 

[SSA Forster: You’re not intimidating us, Ms. Wong. Start from the beginning.]

Oh, I’m not going to start from the beginning. You’d just pity me, and none of us want that. [Laughs.] I’ll start from the beginning with Derek, though. Let’s see.

You wanted to know about his, well, insidious effect on the American government? I suppose that’s where it starts. I was eighteen and he was twenty-five when he hired me to take care of General John Harrison. Romantic, isn’t it? I guess you all never tested for belladonna. [Note: Exhumation ordered immediately after this statement confirms presence of atropine and hyoscyamine in hair samples.] I must’ve been pretty good, because after that I was his go-to weapon for getting people out of his way, and he told me all about his big ideas. A world of chaos. You know the spiel.

[Agent Inverness: Why didn’t you tell anyone about this? Why did you go along with it?]

Ever listen to the song Sixteen Going On Seventeen from The Sound Of Music? You’ll have to get the full prognosis from Randall.

[Agent Inverness: So your relationship was intimate in nature?]

Is nothing private?

[Ms. Jacobs: You’re clearly showing signs of dehydration and exhaustion, Ms. Wong. We both know this act is getting you nowhere.]

Fine, I’ll sing for my supper. He considered himself in love with me and believed that I was or should be in love with him, and he was pretty damn convincing.

[SSA Forster: Did you perceive it differently?]

Oh, I believed everything he told me. I would’ve done anything to make him proud, back then. Can I get back to the story?

[Agent Inverness: Go on.]

So, he had his plans and his power, and I had my skills and my smarts, and we were - really - the perfect team. At least, that’s what he said. I brought him samples of various bioweapon agents over the years, to--

[Ms. Jacobs: Which bioweapons?]

To make the C-virus and develop reliable options, I was about to say. You really love interrupting me. It was… G-Virus, Raccoon City, 1998. t-Veronica, Sacred Snakes, 2002. The Dominant plaga, Eastern Slav Republic, 2011. I’m sure there were others.

I was personally involved with the development of the C-virus. If I may, I’ve been considered something of a prodigy. Derek always told me I was the only woman smart enough to keep up with him, whatever that’s worth, and I worked as a virologist at Umbrella in 1997. I mean, I’m sure you know all about my research for Neo-Umbrella. Marhawa, Edonia, even Tatchi… Field experiments.

And, of course, throughout this time I carried out all kinds of covert operations for him. I silenced people who knew too much about him, killed people who had power he wanted for himself, the whole nine yards. Anything to make him proud. Anything to advance his agenda, our agenda. He always told me… what was it? I would sit beside him when he was on his throne.

[SSA Forster: What throne would he have in a world of chaos?]

He was going to bring order to it. Under him. Listen to what I’m telling you; it’s a story. You’re a bad audience.

[Agent Inverness: Okay, where did you get the funding for your work?]

We pooled our funds. I worked hard, ran high-rolling jobs for all kinds of interests. Albert Wesker was one of my primary employers up through his death. Tricell, Umbrella, all kinds of militias, whoever could meet my asking price. I’ve always been pretty well-known in the bioweapons industry. Derek was the reason you didn’t have eyes on me until a couple years ago, he kept me out of reports and all. 

When I was getting the Dominant plaga sample from the ESR for him, I posed as a BSAA agent, and in the fallout of the outbreak there I was labelled an international terrorist. I’m sure if you look, you can find his footprint in a few different intelligence databases, removing me. He was always so sloppy. [Evidence of file corruption in BSAA bioterror database coinciding with the time frame of this allegation has been found.]

For his part… you know he was a rich kid. That was where it started, and when our little operation grew he realized that you Americans really sink all kinds of no-strings-attached taxpayer money into all kinds of undisclosed national security projects.

I guess if you wanted to find something, one of his big sources was what he presented as a counterterror research and development operation. He called it Project Ada-- isn’t that sweet? Anyways, if you really get in the classified files there, my best guess is you’ll find... nothing. It wasn’t off the record, it was just Neo-Umbrella, and you gave us millions. [Existence of an US-STRATCOM undertaking codenamed PROJECT ADA from 1999-2009 has been confirmed; no evidence as to its function.] 

Of course, I outgrew him eventually. Like I said, he made me even better than he was, and when I realized the monster he’d turned me into… [Laughs.] Well, I’m petty. I wanted to make him into a monster too.

[Ms. Jacobs: Why didn’t you turn him in?]

Would’ve been my word against his. Besides, then my plans would be ruined. Global infection, you know.

[Ms. Jacobs: So they were your plans?]

He’d given them to me. [Shifting.] What part of this doesn’t click for you, really? I’m exactly what he made me into. I know that. Tall Oaks… Tatchi… HAOS… that’s what I was made to do.

[Agent Inverness: So you orchestrated the assassination of President Benford?]

As much as I wish I could take credit for that, you’ve made it clear I have to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth just to get a glass of fucking water around here, so no. It’s confusing, I know. How do you want me to go through 2012-2013? In chronological order, or by topic?

[Agent Inverness: In order.]

Alright, but don’t blame me if you get lost.

Okay, so I’d outgrown him, right? But he didn’t know that yet. Without his knowledge, I expanded Neo-Umbrella’s operations and started developing HAOS. Then in December, he ordered me to go to Edonia to ensure the US government successfully acquired Muller. I should have the mission briefing in my personal files in the facility you raided. [A partially damaged film reel was discovered matching this description.]

[Agent Inverness: But you didn’t. You abducted Albert Wesker’s son and performed unethical experiments on him for six months.]

Would you have done any differently? 

[No response.]

We both know you wouldn’t. He’d still be in your custody if you got your hands on him, just like this except the only crime he committed against you was having a father. How old was Sherry Birkin when you put her in Simmons’ custody? Twelve? How old was she when you stopped experimenting on her? 

You’re just like me- no, you are- only you make the antidotes and I make the poisons, and with all your resources and human guinea pigs you’re still always one step behind. Is it worth it? Are you proud? 

[Break in recording here.]

--so no, he wasn’t involved with the development of the enhanced strain. [Coughs.] Christ. Still no [Recording corrupted.] He was pretty mad when he found out about it in Tatchi-- the enhancement made it harder for him to control, but that’s later. Where were we?

[Ms. Jacobs: What about Captain Redfield’s team? Was that part of your ‘field experiment’?]

[Laughs] No, that was for fun. Bunch of rats in a cage, you just wanna mess with ‘em. 

[Coughing and sounds of motion.] 

Oh, come on, let’s not- hey, hey, hey, let’s not do this again. Am I in trouble for telling the truth, now? You asked, hey, why don’t you pick on someone your own size? Jesus. I’m delicate, you know. Fragile contents. I’m just answering your question. 

I pretended to be a damsel in distress so I’d get escorted through a dangerous area, I do it all the time. I did it in Raccoon City. Just didn’t let them all go that time. Anyways, I didn’t like Edonia. All I got was an annoying kid. Can we move on?

[Agent Inverness: Is Tall Oaks more fun for you? You said that was Simmons’ work.]

Simmons’ show, my handiwork. It was my baby that triggered the outbreak. That was the basic C-Virus, of course; he didn’t know about the enhancements I’d developed with Muller’s antibodies.

My understanding of the situation is that Benford was planning to come clean to the public about the sterilization of Raccoon City, take responsibility. [Coughs.] Cute. Derek didn’t want to take responsibility, though; he was the first to call for the sterilization as soon as I’d gotten the G sample. Didn’t want any competition, you know. So he decided to silence the president instead of facing accountability.

[SSA Forster: You said he used your baby to trigger the outbreak. Are you referring to the Lepotica?]

Yes, my baby. They’re all my children; Lepotica, Gnezdo… they come from me.

[Ms. Jacobs: Let’s get back on track.]

[SSA Forster: You mean you developed them?]

I made them of myself. Loved them. Like Ustanak, like HAOS would have been, if your clowns hadn’t killed them. I talk to them, you know. Tell them about the world. They understand me, they listen to me. ‘My hideous creation, go forth and prosper.’ My children. They love me.

[Note from SSA Forster: The subject began to cry openly at this point. Though I’m unconvinced that her crying was authentic, previous autopsies have found traces of the subject’s own mutated DNA in Lepotica and Gnezdo specimens. This has been a subject of speculation, as well as the fact that Neo-Umbrella had samples of her DNA on file, but it seems clear to me now that she developed the strain of C-Virus that created them using her own DNA as a base, believing that it made the resulting Complete Mutations her offspring. This fits with reports of her close relationship with the neutralized human mutation called Ustanak, which she may have created in a similar manner.] 

[Ms. Jacobs: Focus on the events of June 2013.]

[Agent Inverness: Take a moment, Ms. Wong. You weren’t in Tall Oaks?]

[Pause. Subject hiccups, then grunts in pain.] No, I was at the Quad Tower in Lanshiang, working. Getting ready for the attack there.

[Agent Inverness: And Simmons didn’t know this was coming?]

No, he was occupied with the whole treason plot. It allowed me to get all the pieces into position without him catching on. Do you need me to walk you through exactly all of the events in Tatchi? Like children? I have to warn you, with so many moving parts there will be holes even in my story-- don’t take it out on me.

[Agent Inverness: That won’t be necessary. We have BSAA communication logs that trace your location throughout the incident, up until your reported death. How did you do it?]

Survive? A magician never tells.

[Ms. Jacobs: Ms. Wong, the sooner you cooperate, the sooner you’ll get to eat. We’re almost done here.]

Fine. What’s for lunch? I’m famished. 

[Ms. Jacobs: Answer the question.]

It’s simple, really. I’m sure Redfield and Nivans mentioned the helicopter on the scene. It was mine. I sent a signal, they dropped a body double, I swung away, they picked me up. Your boys didn’t even bother taking the elevator down to examine the body up close, which I was banking on. The BSAA isn’t known for being thorough. Always letting someone else clean up your messes- but I’m sure whoever cleaned up didn’t find a body, because the one I had dropped was infected. It tore a hole in the ship a few minutes later; easy destruction of evidence.

[Agent Inverness: So you just left after that?]

I’d been shot in the chest, I wasn’t fit to do much else without infecting myself, and I’m smarter than that. Simmons was infected, all my plans were in motion. The helicopter took me to a safehouse not far away, where I recovered briefly and then was moved to a different facility.

[Agent Inverness: Where was the safehouse?]

Ugh, really? It was a few miles outside Lanshiang, no one’s using it anymore. I’m sure you already found it. When’s lunch? You people have to actually feed me at some point if you want me to be useful, you know.

[Agent Inverness: Very well, Ms. Wong. Since you’ve been… mostly cooperative--]

I’ve been very nice. You have no idea how much meaner I could have been. In fact, I’m feeling more irritable by the minute and I think it’s because I need medical attention but you’re making me beg for water.

[Agent Inverness: Since you’ve been cooperative, then, I’ll ensure food and water are brought to your cell.]

What a gentleman. In that case, next time I’ll give you the locations of the remaining Neo-Umbrella research facilities. I think I’m free tomorrow if you want to make it soon. [Coughs.] I don’t like to be kept waiting. 

Any last questions?

[Agent Inverness: We’re done for now.]

[Ms. Jacobs: Do you miss him?]

Simmons? 

[Ms. Jacobs: Yes.]

Endlessly. It’s like he always said. I’m nothing without him.

[Agent Inverness: But… would you commit the attack in Tatchi again if you were able?]

[Pause.] 

Without hesitation.

[End of transcript.]

Conclusion- SSA Randall Forster: This interview has raised a number of questions, but answered just as many. Based on those claims we have been able to authenticate with evidence, the story detailed here is the best understanding we have of “Wong”, Simmons, and their crimes. There appears to be absolutely no reason to reopen an investigation into Secret Service Agent Helena Harper, and in fact this interview offers insight into Simmons’ manipulative nature.

In the case of the subject herself, a full psychological profile will take significantly more time, and may wait until the DSO has been able to prove or disprove more of her statements and we have her complete history. Extracting her history before Simmons has become a secondary priority, particularly to find out where she got her training. This is proving extremely difficult; it seems to me that this comes from a deep-seated unwillingness to discuss her childhood rather than a petty attempt to impede investigation, so I believe more advanced interrogation practices will be necessary. 

Sleep deprivation and mild starvation only seem to have made her irritable; her behavior indicates that she is trained and experienced with these conditions. However, she displayed a worrying level of volatility compared to reports of her attitude when she was brought in, and observers have reported that she displays erratic behavior in her cell. Having reviewed some of the surveillance tapes and her statements here, I believe not only that she experiences PTSD with psychotic features, but that solitary confinement is having an abnormally negative effect on whatever mental stability she has. This may be detrimental to the investigation.

Work with her is ongoing and will continue once she’s transported to a permanent facility. She has been given a pencil and paper to begin a list of GPS coordinates. In future interviews, agents should be wary of her ability to control conversations and manipulate others. Agent Inverness and Representative Jacobs both reported having somewhat sympathetic feelings toward the subject after this interview, despite the crimes she confessed.