#not us though. our popes fuck

[feluka]

the one defining difference between copts and catholics is that catholics believe in pope unfuckability

[rubiehart]

JJ and reader sneak away on the island of Poguelandia to get some… “alone time” iykwim

when obx3 first came out this was like my main scenario to sleep lol.. i love u nonnie

all the pogues sit around the makeshift fire, faces illuminated and cheeks blushed from the heat, listening to cleo’s bizarre stories from before she fell in with all of you, but you’re not really listening.

you adjust yourself on the log you’d used for seating, digging your toes into the sun warmed sand as you eyes jj across the flames, he was focused on cooking whatever he’d caught that day, the only thing you were focused on was the way his biceps flexed, deep blues occasionally flitting over and meeting your own eyes before correcting himself when he realised he’d been caught, smirk playing on his lips.

you’d had this arrangement far before this misfortune, stranded on an abandoned island in the middle of nowhere. you’d sit on his work bench, watching him fix up his bike, popsicle slotted between your lips as you watched him. before he’d had enough for your teasing and bent you over the warm metal, denim shorts pulled down to your knees as he pounded into you.

but something had changed ever since you landed on the island, he was so much softer, kinder, a lot less demanding when he’d fuck you. he really took his time with you when he could, he’d make you feel so good, it didn’t happen as much as it used to back home, so you’d learned to appreciate it a lot more when it did.

you clinged onto his tan shoulders, outgrown fingernails digging into the muscle as he finger fucked you behind a tree, the squelch of your wet cunt the only sound heard as he clamped a ringed hand over your mouth, willing you to be quiet with praise as he hit that spot over and over again. his jaw clenched as he kept half on eye on pope and cleo not too far away collecting fruits for your breakfast, fixing you up and giving you a quick peck before sending you off back to the group, strolling back a few after you like nothing had happened.

that was last week, and he hadn’t even touched you since. to say you were desperate was an understatement. sure, the island was desolate but that didn’t mean it was big, and sneaking away to fuck yourself and risk getting caught wasn’t something you wanted to do. so you thought eye fucking was enough of a hint for him, spoiler, it wasn’t.

he kept you on the edge of your seat all night, he knew what he was doing and he loved the power. concealing his grin when he caught you discretely rub your thighs together whenever you’d look a him.

you got what you wanted soon enough, when everyone was pretty much knocked out on their makeshift leaf mattresses, stepping over john b cautiously as you made your way up the sandy bank where you knew he would be.

you were finally at peace when he had you splayed out against a large tree, legs spread around his his head, his matted blonde tresses tickling your inner thighs as he devoured you like a starved man. his cocky persona dropped as he practically begged for you, even though he already had you in your head.

“wanted to taste this fuckin’ pussy all day.” he mutters, tongue dipping into your clenching hole as he brings two fingers up to steadily rub at your clit, your back arching beautifully against the rough bark of the tree, hand forcefully gripping his hair and keeping him right where you wanted him.

“strutting around in that little top, you dunno’ what you do to me, infront of all our fuckin’ friends.” he admits, skilled fingers punching your g-spot, a loud moan leaving your lips as your climax approached, immediately recoiling back into yourself as the sound echoes over the extensive ocean surrounding you, hoping your friends didn’t hear.

jj sensed your sudden shyness and tapped your thigh, one hand shaking up to grasp at your boob, calloused thumb teasing your nipple as he circles your throbbing but with his tongue. “nah- let it all out, wanna hear how good i make you feel.”

“yeah- gooooood girl. you got it.”

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Melt

"And if I die because you made me melt, oh well."

Summary: You and Frankie spend a hot summer day by the pool

Word Count: 1.8K

Pairing: Husband!Frankie Morales x Wife!Reader (no use of y/n)

Warnings: SMUT (18+), oral (f receiving), vaginal fingering, semi-public shenanigans (we're assuming there's a big, tall fence around the pool lmao), Frankie being our 🐱 eating king, Frankie being the sweetest and so obsessed with you, poor Pope probably needs to clean his pool after these two leave, reader wears a bathing suit, can swim and can get sunburned

A/N: HEY HOMIES, IT'S YA GIRL!!!!! What better way to celebrate National Catfish Day than with a lil poolside Frankie 🤪 It has been hotter than Satan's ballsack out here in the midwest, so this song is dedicated to this ongoing heatwave and this song that I am absolutely obsessed with and is SO Frankie coded 😭 This is the first thing that I have worked on since May so apologies in advance for bein' a little rusty, but I'm excited to finally be back on the writing train again!!! ily all, big forehead kisses for each of you MWAH!!!! 🥹 poorly beta'd bc that's how i roll

Love it or hate it, if there was one thing that you could always count on, it was the fact that summers in south Florida were hot. 

Really fucking hot. 

So when Pope had offered up his pool for you and Frankie to use while he was out of town for the week, it was a no brainer that the two of you had ecstatically accepted his invitation. 

“We really owe Pope for this one, huh?” You smirked, setting down your beach bag on one of the lounge chairs spread across the pool deck, pulling out some sunscreen and towels for you and Frankie. 

“Yeah, I guess we do.” Frankie sighed, nodding his head in agreement, admiring the crystal blue water sparkling in the heat of the hot summer sun, hands on his hips as he looked out over the pool. 

You couldn’t help but giggle as you stood behind him, secretly whipping out your phone to take a picture of Frankie inspecting the pool before quickly texting it to Pope, knowing what a kick he’d get out of it. 

You: Thanks for letting us use the pool! New pool boy is taking his job very seriously. 🫡

Pope: Haha. Would have looked better if he showed up in a bikini. Have fun u 2. 

“What are you laughing at?” Frankie asked, turning around to the sounds of your sneaky snickers before feeling his own phone buzz in his pocket, looking down to see a text from Pope. 

Pope: Your wife thinks you’d make a good pool boy. Told her you need a bikini first. Have fun with Mrs. Fish today.

Pope: Not too much fun though. 🤨

Frankie: Sorry to disappoint. 

Frankie: What’s that supposed to mean? 

Pope: I just cleaned the pool before I left. Don’t need any baby fish swimming around in there if you know what I mean 🐟 💦 lol

Frankie: Jesus christ, Pope.

Frankie shook his head as he slipped his phone back into his pocket as he made his way over to you, wrapping his hands around your waist and pulling you closer to his chest. 

“You think I’d make a good pool boy, huh?” He smirked, planting a chaste kiss in your lips as the two of you laughed. 

“The best. But only if you give me another kiss and put some sunscreen on me so I don’t turn into a lobster.” You teased, kissing him right back before pulling away to grab the sunscreen bottle, passing it off to him. 

“Fair enough.” 

As he took the bottle from you, starting to shake it up, Frankie couldn’t help stop and watch in awe as you began to remove your coverup. Underneath, it revealed the little, strappy, bright yellow bikini you had just bought, deciding that today would be a good choice to show it off for the first time with just you and your husband together. 

“Fuck me…” Frankie whispered under his breath, his tongue darting out of his mouth and swiping over his bottom lip as he looked you up and down, admiring every sun-kissed inch of your soft skin and the way the fabric of your swimsuit hugged your curves. “Is this- fuck, is this new?” he asked softly, his sweet brown eyes just about popping out of his head, trying to use every ounce of self composure to even form a coherent question. 

“Do you like it? I got it a few days ago when I was out. Figured I could use a new one.” You blushed, biting down on your lip at Frankie’s reaction, wondering how in the world he still managed to make you feel as beautiful as he did the first night he’d met you after all your time spent together. 

“Can I show you?” Frankie asked, running his hands along your waist, gently toying with the strings holding your swimsuit bottoms together. 

“Show me what?” 

“Show you how much I like it?” He responded, his voice sending a shiver down your spine as his fingers slowly began to undo the bow tied around your hips while he gently nipped at your neck, making your stomach swell with arousal. 

“Mhmmmmmm.” You nodded, carefully backing up until your legs hit the lounge chair behind you, Frankie gently guiding you to sit down and lay back while he nestled himself between your legs, draping each one over his bare, broad shoulders, his tanned and freckled skin glowing in the blazing afternoon sun. 

Frankie wasted no time planting soft kisses up the inside of your thighs, the familiar scratch of his beard and mustache against your skin making you moan in eager anticipation as you could feel the wetness beginning to pool in your swimsuit bottoms. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful, you know that? I’m so lucky.” He whispered between kisses along the meat of your thighs before stopping at your core, letting his fingers brush against the fabric of your swimsuit, sneaking under the material just enough to feel how wet you had already become in the few short moments since you had sat down. 

“Seems like you're pretty wet for not even getting in the pool yet, Hermosa.” Frankie teased, the ghosting of his fingers along your cunt making you whine as you propped your head up to see the devilish smirk between his cheeks. 

Almost painfully slowly, Frankie untied the first, then second bow holding your bottoms together on each hip, watching your swimsuit fall to the ground, revealing your pussy, slick and puffy, worked up from Frankie’s touch. 

“So pretty…” He cooed, letting his fingers drag across your cunt, collecting your arousal and rubbing at your clit, already aching to be touched. 

Frankie was nothing if not a methodical man, memorizing every twitch and hitched breath beneath his touch, learning all the things that absolutely drove you wild.

Knowing that he could be the only one to make you feel this good got him off more than anything else ever could.

He couldn’t help but grin at the way your lips fell to a perfectly parted “O” as he pressed more pressure against your sensitive nub, and how they fell even wider as he pressed two of his fingers into your entrance, gently curling them to bump against the soft, spongy spot inside you that had you clenching around his hand. 

“Oh Frankie… Fuck…” You whimpered, your head falling back as Frankie’s fingers were soon followed by his tongue, licking a long, broad strip across your cunt, ​​putting just the right amount of pressure on your sensitive bundle of nerves as his fingers worked in tandem to make that all too familiar sweet tingling sensation to start build in your stomach. 

Frankie’s tongue danced in a swirling pattern of flicks and strokes between your folds as he lapped you up. You could feel yourself rolling your hips against his hand, whining at how thick and full he felt inside you with just his fingers. That, combined with the meticulous and skilled motions of his tongue had the coil in your belly beginning to tighten further and further. 

Your hand shot down between your parted legs, reaching to grab a fistful of Frankie’s brown, curly locks, thick and sweaty from the heat, tugging just hard enough to force his gaze up towards you, your eyes locking with his rich, brown ones. 

“F-Frankie-” Was all you were able to mutter as he continued with his fingers to press against your g-spot, slick coating his digits with each stroke. He licked one more strip along your pussy before placing soft kisses on your clit and the inside of your thighs, peeking up at you with a boyish grin. 

“That’s it, Hermosa. I know you’re close, baby girl. Let me feel you, mi amor. Wanna taste you all over me.” Frankie moaned, the low rumble of his words making your breath hitch in the back of your throat as he dove back between your legs, wrapping his free arm around one of your thighs, firmly holding you in place. 

Curving his fingers ever so slightly and latching his lips around your clit, you knew it was only a matter of moments before Frankie was about to make you fall apart completely. You could feel your legs begin to tremble as your cunt clenched tighter around his fingers, able to utter nothing but a “F-fuck…” as you felt your orgasm rip through you, your pussy fluttering as pleasure radiated in your veins and soaked Frankie below you. 

Frankie worked persistently through your high, only pulling back after making sure that you had cum for him with everything that you had in you, sitting back on his haunches as he admired the blissed out and ragged mess you had become. Your pussy was slick and swollen as your chest rose and fell in wrecked inhales and exhales, trying to compose yourself from the way Frankie had fucked you senseless with just his tongue. 

“Frankie, holy fuck.” You whispered under your breath, still trying to regain your composure as you looked down at a satisfied Frankie, wiping the slick and juices glistening in his mustache with the back of his hand with a smirk. 

“Always taste so sweet, Hermosa. You’re so fucking hot, I swear you’d make me melt faster than the sun.” 

The two of you both couldn’t help but snort at Frankie’s cheesy comment, sitting up as you giggled to grab Frankie’s face and bring him in for a long, deep kiss, the taste of you still fresh on his tongue. 

“You are such a cheeseball, Fransisco Morales. I can’t believe that- Frankie! Frankie! Put me down! No, no, no, no, you better not-” But before you could finish the rest of your sentence, Frankie had already picked you up out of your chair, flung you over his shoulder and had you flailing your arms and legs as he carried you towards the edge of the pool, jumping in with you mid-way through your poorly fought protest. 

Your heads bobbed to the surface, still in a fit of laughter as you floated in the refreshing cool of the sparkling pool water, you wrapped your legs around Frankie’s waist, draping your arms over his shoulders while he pulled you closer to his chest. 

“Sorry, mi amor, what were you saying?” Frankie teased, raising a playful eyebrow at you as he grinned with his goofy smile, making you over dramatically roll your eyes at him. 

“One, that you are the biggest goof I’ve ever met and I love you for it,” You snickered, plating a soft kiss on his plush lips, “and two, I think I can practically hear Pope screaming at you for the fact I’m half naked in his pool.” 

“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”   

Taglist

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@bloodyinspirationaldemon @vee-bees-blog @samgirl4life @pigeonmama @survivingandenduring

@itsokbbygrl @javierpena-inatacvestnotifs

[fanaticbitchhh]

unfortunate

jj maybank x reader

warnings: nervous!reader, forced proximity kinda?? shitty rushed writing, swearing, it drags on a little sorry!

NOT PROOF READ!!

the pogues had decided to go on a little trip, after the horrific events of the gold and the drama inbetween, you all figured you deserved it. it was mainly you and kiara that planned it, you two were the only two who had even gone camping before. besides, you used to do girls brigade, you knew a thing or two.

a long twinkie ride, 4 gas station stops, and one instance of being pulled over was all it took to get to the campsite. it was beautiful, truly. it was surrounded by a few mountains and the woods, you'd definitely do some exploring in the later days. you could hear the faint sounds of water running, definitely a river around, maybe a waterfall if you were lucky.

you had packed with kiara, cleo, and sarah. you definitely had gotten sidetracked more than once. kiara insisted on having her own tent, she enjoyed the space. pope and cleo were obviously coupled up so they'd sleep in a tent together, the same went for john b and sarah. that left you and jj, which you decided to share.

you helped the blonde boy set the tent up, and after a lot of failure and laughs, you finally got it up. you made one last walk around the tent to make sure all the pegs were put in the ground properly. then you got your bag out of the twinkie, you didnt pack much, just clothes and swimsuits. you never knew when a swimming opportunity would show up.

john b had been preparing dinner for us, with the help of sarah so he wouldnt burn it. so you made your way outside to the others, grabbing a plate. you ate the food, complimenting the couple on their cooking skills (it was mainly sarah that cooked it). the others made jokes and laughed while they ate, you chimed in occasionally but you were mainly focused on finishing the food.

when you all finished your food, you started a fire. roasting marshmallows, making smores. anything you could think of really. you made conversation, mainly talking about the fun times in our friendships. it was nice, you really enjoyed it.

it was late at night when you realized it. your phone torch on, searching around your camp area. fuck, you thought. you forgot your goddamn sleeping bag. so much for girls brigade. jj looked at you in confusion, what the fuck were you looking for? you could practically hear his confused thoughts.

"i left my fucking sleeping bag back at the chateau." you huff, annoyed at yourself for your stupidity.

"seriously? out of everything you could've forgotten, you forget one of the most important things?! that's just unfortunate." he laughs heartily.

"yeah, get it all out of your system. so funny." you frown, he always found your misfortune funny.

he'd always try and help out though, that was what best friends were for.

"where the hell am i gonna sleep?" you groan, rubbing your face in frustration.

"we can always share mine?" he proposes.

"huh?" you ask, dumbfounded with your jaw a little slack.

he placed two fingers under your jaw and shut it. "dont wanna catch flies now, do ya cupcake?"

you could hear the smirk on his face, you wouldn't even need to look at him to know he was smirking.

"uh i-i guess we could share." you shrug, trying to act nonchalant.

it didnt work very well, your face felt a little hotter than normal and you coukd guarantee you were as red as a tomato. he unzips his sleeping bag, beckoning you over. you join him with a bright blush on your face, resting your head on the pillow he brought with.

"comfy?" he asked.

you nod in response, afraid your voice would betray your excitement. when you finally composed yourself, you spoke.

"thank you, by the way, for sharing the sleeping bag.." you smile shyly.

"'course, couldnt let ya sleep on the cold hard floor. that's no way to treat a pretty girl." he knew exactly what he was doing.

it was safe to say, when you came out of the tent the next morning you were quite literally ambushed with teasing. you and jj both seemed to forget that you could still hear through a tent. whoops?

[princessmaybank]

Can you do prompt 7

I'm sorry this took so long! I ran with this one and it turned out longer than it should have!

Riding Lessons

Pairings: BestFriend!JJ x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Riding, maybe some second hand embarrassment..I think that's it?

Summary: Reader wants to learn how to ride, who better to teach her than her bestie?!

Author's Note: I hope you like it, I love this idea, I feel like I could have done better though, let me know what you think. Enjoy!

I wanted to learn how to, ya know, "ride" I guess. I've been a pillow princess every time I've ever had sex but I wanted to be able to impress my sexual partner. I know JJ was just fooling around when he said I could always come to him if I ever needed help with something like that but I'm seriously thinking of his offer, well fake offer I guess. Damn it, I don't know! I've been trying to ask all week but it isn't exactly easy to ask your friend for dick riding lessons. I just wanted him to help me learn to move my body, I didn't have to actually hop on him.

Every time I try to ask, something gets in the way. John B is always around, I make a fool out of myself, I can't spit it out, he's too busy to talk, something. This time we are hanging out in the back yard of the chateau. The guys are chilling while us girls are chatting away.

"So that's when I-" Sarah paused, but I barely noticed as I anxiously looked between the ground and the blond boy who's been recently occupying my mind. "What's wrong Y/N?" She asked, clearly noticing my rapid-fire thumbs playing thumb wars with each other. "Oh nothing.." I pushed off, stopping my fingers, even though it wasn't easy. The girls poked until I would tell them what was bothering me. I didn't tell them everything, just the fact that I needed to talk to JJ alone, and it wasn't an easy conversation. Kie said I should just go grab him and pull him to the side right now but I told her that wasn't as easy as it sounded. John B and Pope latch onto the man and keep him tight.

"HEY JJ COME HERE!" I heard Kiara shout as loud as fucking possible. All the guys started standing up. "ONLY JJ!" Sarah added.

The other two sat down as JJ waltzed over to us. My heart was racing, I wasn't ready for this conversation. "What?" He pretended to get snippy. "I wanna ask you something." I speak up. He motions for me to continue. "privately.." I add on. "Oh okay, we'll be back." He smiles towards the girls before grabbing my hand and leading me into the chateau. I expected him to stop in the living room but he sat me on the bed in the guest room before shutting the door. "What's up?" He smiled as he crossed his arms and leaned against the door. My fingers did that thing again. "Now that I think about it, it's not that important anymore!" I rush my words out and try to get past him and to the door. "Ah ah ah. What is it, Y/N/N?" He looked a little concerned.

I wasn't sure how to bring this up. I've thought about this conversation many times and still haven't figured out the best way to say it. "Uhm- well this is a di-difficult conversation Jayj..I want to have it, but I'm not sure how to start it, and I'm worried it'll ruin our friendship and I was kind of ready for this con-" I started my rambling because I got nervous, but JJ cut me off. He walked up to me and crouched in front of me. His right hand reached out and laid on top of my knee. "Breathe Y/N. I'm sure whatever it is, won't ruin our friendship. Cause we're too close, there's nothing we can't say to each other." He said with a smile.

"O-okay.." I said sheepishly. "So talk to me." He said casually and got up to sit on the bed next to me. "Uhm- so you know how you jokingly said I could come to you with like-" I was hesitant and JJ knew that. "Questions involving sex?" He giggled and finished my question for me. I nodded very fast causing him to giggle again. "That wasn't a joke, I meant it." He smiled with a small chuckle. My eyes widened but I shut that down real fast. "Oh, okay, well I do have a question.." I slowly spoke. He nudged me to continue. "This is really awkward and you don't have to say yes, please don't feel pressured to do this, it's really stupid actually, so-" He shushed me. "Calm down. I'm willing to help with anything you need." He smiled. His words caused a blush to rise to my cheeks. I took a deep breath before I closed my eyes and said what I've been meaning to say. "I want to learn how to be on top." That was the easiest way I could say it. "You want me to teach you how to ride dick?" He asked. My eyes were still closed but I felt so embarrassed. My hands covered my face and I heard him chuckle before pulling my hands away. "Look at me." He said. I opened my eyes and looked up at JJ. I tried not to think about the embarrassment coursing through my veins. "Good girl." He said and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. My heart was beating a mile a minute. I can't believe he just called me that. "Now strip for me." He said and motioned for me to stand. "W-what?" My eyes went wide again. "You want to learn, right? Gotta take your clothes off for me." He said calmly. "I-I thought...I thought you were just going to show me how to move my body.." I twirled my fingers again. "Oh baby...you wanna get some practice first don't you? And who better to try it out on than your best friend?" JJ smirked.

I can't fuck my best friend! This would ruin everything.

"B-but-" I stuttered. "Don't go shy on me now Y/N." He smirked. "Here, I'll go first." He stood proudly in front of me. He removed his hat and boots first. His cut off tank was next before he finally took off his cargo shorts. JJ sat back down next to me on the bed, only in his boxers now. I couldn't stop my eyes from wandering his toned body.

"Your turn Y/N/N." He whispered into my ear. I hesitated again, and he must've noticed. "Would you like some help?" He asked. All I was able to do was lightly nod. JJ slowly grabbed my hands and stood me in front of him. His fingers traveled to the bottom of my shirt and pulled upwards, over my head, gently. His hands grasped my waist and pulled me closer to him. JJ's fingers danced in the waistband of my shorts before shimmying them down my legs. His hands ran up and down my legs starting at my hips.

"Come here.." He whispered before sitting against the headboard. I straddled his lap and his hands met my hips again. "Can I kiss you, Y/N?" He asked. So gently and calmly like we weren't in the position we were in. I nodded and parted my lips, pushing them closer to him. As our lips lingered together, his hands rocked my hips against his, back and forth. I could feel him growing beneath me, causing arousal to pool in my panties.

"You sure you wanna learn from me?" He asked after pulling his lips away from mine. "Wouldn't wanna learn from anyone else.." I responded slowly, staring into his eyes. He smiled before pulling our lips back together for a moment. "You already have step one down, which is good." He smirked. "What's step one?" I asked while breathing heavily. "Turn on your partner." His hand found its way to my hair and tugged forcefully. JJ pressed his lips to my neck and made his way down my torso. "Next you're gonna move your panties to the side for me."

For the next few minutes I listened to every word this man said. When I finally eased myself onto his cock, we both let out small gasps. He encouraged me to move when I felt ready but I asked him to help guide me. JJ placed his hands on my hips and moved me back and forth on him slowly. "You can also go up and down, side to side, or in circles, why don't you try something." A small whimper escaped my mouth. I wasn't sure I was ready. "Let the pleasure guide you..nothing you do is wrong. Go ahead." He said while tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.

When I finally worked up the courage to move, I decided to just move back and forth. JJ's mouth opened slightly from the pleasure. His hands were still on my hips but he wasn't moving me. I picked up my pace and tried to bounce up and down, which felt so good. I felt like I could release right there with the way his dick was punching my insides. I picked up my speed again, JJ and I were moaning messes in each other's arms. I bounced harder when I realized that's what felt good to me. JJ threw his head back as his hands squeezed my hips tighter. "Just like that.." He whined. My jaw was on the floor. He was gorgeous like this. "Fuck baby... don't stop. I'm almost there.." He let out, heaving. I didn't even slow down. I chased our highs until I couldn't anymore. JJ released with my name on his lips as I did the same with him. I collapsed on top of my best friend, his cock twitching inside of me as we started to come down. My body was shaking from the ultimate pleasure I had just experienced. "Shhhh .." He soothed as he caressed my hair. "such a good girl...I can't wait for our next lesson.." He wanted more? My pussy is in for one wild ride.

[vampiretendencies]

ok but imagine instead of kie getting taken by singh’s men it’s JJ & Y/N who would do anything for each other.

like “don’t touch her!” and “let go of him!” and singh realizes their in love and ugh. been thinking about this

most definitely can imagine this and i’m gonna die on the spot so i made this little blurb to satisfy our imaginations. send me your thoughts and i’ll elaborate on them !

cw; fluff, mentions of death, guns, & s3

pairing; jj x fem!reader

The inseparable pair knew they were preeminently fucked.

No sign of parasitical nuance or help for miles, just the company of the other. Selfishly, though either of them are thanking God, that they’ve gotten captured with the other. For no one else of the Pogues would bring such infamous relief and solace— being completely infatuated tended to do that.

And at least if they die in this place, they die together.

Getting to experience a love so unheard of.

You shivered in the bed of the truck— boring your eyes with envy at the gaurd that stood tall upon arrival to Singh’s ‘operation’. If only you’d gone the same route as Kie, Pope, John B, Sarah, and Cleo, such an impact as the plane delving into water had you borderline shell shocked. But, JJ wasn’t having that either, immediately b-lining in your same opposite direction— wherever you stray, he follows.

Which explains this phenomenon before you.

The harsh metal in the truck bed is making your ass go completely numb, knees tucked into your chest in complete and utter panic. JJ’s stomach was whirling with fear, yet he vowed not show it, pulling you into his side— even in the first moments the two of you were shoved and practically thrown back there. His arm envelops you tightly, his slightly grown out mullet catching air lightly whilst he rests his chin on your shoulder. A mesh of two soaking bodies, kneading into one another.

“Gonna’ get us out of here baby.” Is all JJ whispers into the shell of your ear, before peppering sweet domestic kisses to your temple, the contact granting him some form of grace. Now you knew JJ’s plans were elaborate and full of unnecessary schemes but sometimes they worked and sometimes they didn’t. You were choosing to trust that whatever he could weasel his way into this time, would work.

The halt of the truck was sudden, sending you and JJ to a slight jolt forward. A bright white, poled in mansion-like image is in view; bulging eyed stares are shared between the two of you and JJ is secretly shitting himself as he’s walking into this blind. Guards similar to the one towering over you in the truck bed are surrounding the home, khaki colored uniforms a compliment to the guns accompanying them. Such variety as they all held one with a differentiating aim.

No words are spoken, not even a ‘get out’. Though you are being yanked up by your arm like a rag doll— wasn’t exactly something you were prepared for. Two guards stand opposite, winnowing down the trunk flat. In one swift movement, his large tight fist is clamping down onto your much smaller arm. The form of security that rode in the truck bed with you and JJ, mimicks— doing the same to JJ as the other is doing to you.

JJ is biting down so violently on his bottom lip, that the familiar taste of metallic blood is seeping into the inside of his mouth. Putting hands like that on his girl, is nearly asking ‘do you want me to splatter your brains across this pavement?’, and he’d gladly do it with a grin on his face. His vice grip is so tight on you, that his fingernails are leaving crescent moon indentions into your untouched skin, and JJ can feel his insides boiling with pure distaste.

All it takes is maybe two steps out of the truck, toward the unpromising place and JJ elbowing the man in his best, knocking his breath away. He’s squirming to get to you, and you haven’t peered back at him yet. “Let go of her fucking arm, you piece of shit.” JJ spat, nailing your gaurd at the back of his ankle with the spiked bottom of a his combat boot. Walking separate in pairs, not even making it the doomed front door.

“Don’t make this harder than it has to be, big shot.”

Your guard turns, taking you with him to face JJ. With roaring sun causing a slight glint in your eye. Falsified nickname, is fueling the ignition to the fire that’s burning tauntingly inside of him. The gaurd that’s sustaining JJ, has his arms stuffed dislocated like behind his back, and you wanted to stomp his face in unrecognizable.

Unbeknownst to the pair, Singh had been watching— taking note that the arrival time was much too late than as planned. Gazing through the stained glass filled doors, the alluring scene unfolding before him beneath his shaded driveway was entertaining. His muscular guards, unable to withstand two teenagers.

“Don’t ever touch him like that.”

You bit back, the way his arm was twisted it could’ve passed for being broken. Just as your boyfriend was protective of you, you were protective of him. That’s just how the dynamic always worked. Consequences don’t come to mind when you cherish your lovers life over your own— there could be a gaping hole that’s causing the world to cave in, if one was to fall the other is diving in, no second thoughts.

He’d balance with bare feet on boiling hot coals.

And you’d walk into a bank, full ski mask on, to rob it.

It doesn’t matter the length, their relationship is evidence of doing anything for someone.

So tight knit that everyone back home in Kildare was typically aware of the couples unwavering deepened love. Affectionate, intimate, and everything in between.

If they were to go on living it wouldn’t be without the other.

It wasn’t dumb luck, it was fate.

It’s taking Singh seeing this moment to fully understand that. He’s taken aback by the powerful besot, does it mean he will ease up on them, no. To Singh, those lives are of no importance to him, the gold came before anything.

“Your gonna’ earn your boyfriend here a shot to the head. That what you want?”

JJ can’t help but smirk mischievously at you for rooting for him. He was quite the sight, darkened eyes through damp tresses, muscles prominent past his sleeveless tee. Definitely not something you should be paying grace attention to right now. A gun is lifted to the center of JJ’s forehead, but you don’t fault. Figuring you’ve already trampled through all this mess, what’s the worst.

“Then you’ll have to shoot me too.”

“Glady-“

“You will do nothing of the sort. They are in love y’know.”

The short man with slick hair comes into view, signaling the guards to release the two of you. Embracing eachother within milliseconds, you are colliding with JJ’s chest. A slow kiss is shared, one that is full of yearn and luminous luster. Hands roaming to assure themselves that they were there in one piece and alive. This earns a clap from Singh, more than right about the couple being instantaneously in love.

“So what? cause’ they’re in love they get a free pass?!”

The guards stood dumbfounded, faces scrunched in disgust at Singh thinking all of this under-minded work to get them their was for nothing. All Singh could do was chuckle— they really didn’t know him, did they?

“Perhaps they will hold hands in death, if they don’t get me what I want.”

[allkindfangirl]

reader getting mad with rafe about the whole melting the cross thing bcus shes also friends with pope and breaking up with him and trying to make her jealous with sofia? (i love angst sm idk why)

pairing: rafe cameron x reader warnings: season 3 spoiler (kinda?), mention of alcohol, toxic behavior

You couldn't believe his words when Rafe told you about melting down the cross. You knew he was impulsive but you never thought he would do something so thoughtless. Devil and angel were already fighting inside of you, with him always working against your friends, but this was the last straw. He had thought it was a good idea, he thought once again he had done the right thing without really thinking about what he did.

He tried to understand you when you yelled at him about how the cross was important for Pope, that it meant something to his family but he didn't really care. It was this side of him that was ruthless and didn't care about people around him.

Though you were happy that he was clean now, his ruthlessness, the selfishness got even worse. He felt a new kind of power since his father couldn't dictate him anymore.

"I'm done with this shit Rafe." You were standing across from him on the veranda of Tanney hill.

"Shit? Our relationship?" He scoffed, tried to not let the anger well up in his body. He was pacing around in front of you, a grin on his lips. "Y/n, grow the fuck up. You can't keep running around with your friends, chasing stupid little adventures. This is real life." He was looking down at you, a feeling you hated.

"No Rafe.", you said through gritted teeth. "You need to grow up. This isn't real life. Stealing from people isn't real life. Just doing whatever you think is the best, isn't real life."

You didn't feel safe in his presence, even though he was standing meters away from you and even though you knew he would never actually hurt you. But still, his mood changes were unpredictable.

His hands run over his buzzed head, as he took a step towards you. He was looking at you with crazy eyes, sweat forming on his chest under the white shirt and on his forehead.

"Maybe then we're just not meant to be together if we're so different, y/n."

Though you felt your heart sinking with his words you tried to stiffen up. You shrug your shoulders. "I should've broken up with you a long time ago."

You flinched when he was suddenly standing right in front of you, his face almost touching yours, him raising his finger at you. "No, no.", he grinned. "You're not breaking up with me. I am breaking up with you.", he whispered, but still it send shivers down your back. You knew he was close to losing it completely.

"Whatever.", were your last words and you felt your body relax as soon as you left his house.

-

The next couple of weeks you did everything you could to not cross his ways. He didn't reach out to you and you didn't reach out to him. You figured this time it was really over. Though you tried to ignore him, it took you quite some time to not miss him everyday. You didn't think you would ever get over him, though you knew it was for the best. The two of you had been opposites from the beginning. You had been blind to see that you couldn't change him.

Toppers party was the first time you went out again. Since Sarah was hanging out with him again, she had asked you to come with her. You really didn't wanted to go. Too afraid to see Rafe again. Still, you could really use a drink and you were done with sitting in your room alone all night every night.

The music was blasting through the house, people drinking, smoking and doing coke everywhere. You always hated this side of Rafes friends and that he was a part of this.

Still, tonight you tried to forget all of it, the drink in your hand helping.

"Y/n.", you heard Topper behind you. You said your hello, then taking a couple of shots with him and Sarah in the big, crowded kitchen.

And then he walked in, wearing a lose shirt and shorts. He grinned as he saw his friends, then saw you standing beside Sarah and his smile disappeared for a second. The eye contact was heated. It felt like he was looking right inside your soul and for a moment it felt like your were the only ones in the room.

And then there she was. It took a second to realize that she was here with him. She slung his arm around his torso, smiling up at him, then greeting everyone in the group.

Rafe was still looking at you, a light smirk on his lips. Then he leaned down to her, to peck her lips with a kiss.

He wanted to hurt you and he knew this was the best way to do it. You had been the one he loved, he really thought and always hoped you would understand him. It turned out you didn't. He felt betrayed by you leaving him.

It worked. You hadn't felt a pain like this before. You knew Rafe had been with girls before you, but you never really wanted to think about him with someone else. The thought of him kissing another girl, giving his all to someone else just crushed you. His lips- they were supposed to be on yours, his body was suppose to do things to your body, not someone else's.

You grabbed Sarahs hand, then turned to her. "I- uhm- I should go.", you said, stumbling.

"Don't. We can just go outside. Please, don't let him ruin your night."

You gave her a light smile but shook your head. "No, it's fine really. I just want to go home.", you said. Then said a quick goodbye and rushed out of the kitchen, too afraid to burst out in tears in front of everyone.

As soon as you stepped outside the house you felt tears of anger running down your face. You knew, you had been the one who left him - still, you didn't think he would just move on and get with another girl like you didn't mean anything to him.

"You're already leaving?"

You froze, not able to move when you heard his voice behind you and his footsteps coming closer to you.

His touch on your hip send you over the edge. Tears on your face, your lips parted and your back still facing him.

"Don't touch me.", you whispered, but he didn't care. He just scoffed. You were still not able to move when he shove his hand up your shirt, feeling your warm skin on his skin. He pulled you close to his chest, his lips near your ear.

"I didn't think I would have such an effect on you."

You closed your eyes while trying to calm yourself down, but nothing could make the butterflies in your stomach go away. He had an effect on you. His touch always made you weak and he knew that. He knew exactly what he was doing to you.

His grip on your hip tightened and with one push he swirled you around, so you would finally look at him.

He had a light grin on his lips. He knew he had you under his spell. His hand came up to your face to wipe away the tears on your cheek.

"Don't cry because of me.", he pointed out. Not to make you feel better but to show you what he did to you, that you were the weak one.

You melted under his touch. One of his hands was still laying on your cheek, the other one already back on your bare hip.

"You're mine.", you whispered but didn't dare looking him in the eyes. It tore you apart, showing him so much weakness, but the thought of him giving himself to somebody else just drove you crazy.

"Say it again. I didn't hear you." Rafes hand ran down your cheek to touch your chin. He made you look up to him, to look him in the eyes.

"Say it.", he whispered. His eyes were staring at your lips, waiting for those words, that just drove him wild, to escape from your lips.

"You're mine."

- really don't know if this is how you wanted it to go but I just got carried away. xx hope you still like it.

requests are open!

my masterlist

[urrockstar-xe]

happy birthday - j.m x fem!reader

posted nov 27th, 2023 9:50pm

anon asked: could you do bestfriend jj asking reader out on a date for her birthday present and he tells her he’s been in love with her for years🩷🤭

so sorry for the wait!! for the sake of this, pretend reader and jj kissed before finding the gold instead of jj and kie i also don't know HOW THE FUCK but i forgot abt the love confession I'm sorry :( okay muah. it's def way past ur birthday but happy birthday! my grandma used the sing the beatles song to us on our birthdays! i hope u like it :)

masterlist

wordcount: 1.2k

Loud cheers and “HAPPY BIRTHDAY”s rang through your ears the second you were within eyeshot of your friends all out back of the chateau. The smile on your face only got bigger when Sarah and Kie tackled you in a hug, all three of you going down in a fit of giggles and more “Happy birthday!”s

Helping each other stand up, you all made your way closer to the rest of your friends all of whom shared your cheerful smiles. John B was the next to pull you into a hug, “Happy birthday,” he smiled. “Thanks, JB.” You smiled, pushing him off you as he messed up your hair, earning a laugh in response. Cleo nodded at you with a smile from where she sat, “Happy birthday, Y/n/n” you thanked her, before being pulled into another hug by Pope and JJ this time, earning another round of laughs from the group as they nearly crushed you in between them both happily singing The Beatles birthday song, You laughed again, smiling when JJ threw his arm around your shoulder and kept it there even after the hug had ended. “Thank you guys, that was sweet” You spoke, your cheeks warm from all the affection. 

“So birthday girl, what do you want to do today?” John B asked, rubbing his hands together eagerly awaiting your answer. 

“I actually just wanna hang out, with everything that’s happened these last few months, we haven’t really had the chance so!” You announced, smiling nervously as if for whatever reason they’d reject the idea. Instead, it was met with nods of understanding and excited high-fives from the boys. 

John B gave JJ a pat on the back and a wink before moving back to sit with Sarah, giving you a weirdly suspicious smile before JJ spoke up, “Although, we-” Pope forced a cough and cleared his throat to cut JJ off, giggles coming from the girls. “I had an idea in mind for tonight though, not the whole day just a few hours tonight” JJ shrugged, grinning at you and dropping his arm from your shoulder to fully turn to you. 

You smiled back, “Alright, bring it on, Maybank” You laughed through your words, expecting this surprise of his to be something illegal or some last-minute party at the point, but as more cheers for the long-awaited normal day came from the pogues your thoughts were practically wiped clean with matched excitement.

And so you had your usual summer day on the water, with your usual playlist and John B pushing Sarah in the water, Pope in charge of steering the boat with newfound company in Cleo, and JJ shaking cold water droplets from his hair onto you and Kie’s laps like a dog. Kiara had snagged food from her parents and nobody asked how but JJ and John B showed up with beer.

Now as the sun set and a breeze hit your shoulders you found solace and warmth in JJ’s thin but discarded button-up, Pope was taking the boat back to land for whatever JJ had planned and everyone was calmly chatting amongst themselves, not including Kie and JJ who were bickering over what time was best to get high. 

As the Chateau came into sight you felt JJ's head fall onto your lap, looking down to see him already smiling up at you.

“Sup pretty lady,” he said, his sunglasses falling perfectly on his nose and his hair just slightly damp and cold on your thighs. “What’s up, J” You smiled back as always, ruffling his hair but leaving your fingers entangled in it. 

“Ready for your surprise?” JJ was evidently eager about his plans but when was he not, even the bad ones had JJ shaking with excitement.

Actually, especially the bad ones.

You nodded, growing impatient when you were suddenly hit with the realization of not really knowing what this surprise was.

JJ stayed like this the rest of the time left on the boat, starting up mindless conversations with you and asking dumb questions when the conversations would seemingly end, it made it feel like you hit land a little too soon, suddenly missing the feeling of him being so intimately close as he stood up and hopped off.

The boys helped the girls off, JJ grabbed your hand once Sarah was safely secured and on her way to the old hammock. Although when he helped you he held onto your hand longer than necessary turning to the rest of your friends and announcing you’d both be on your way to Pope’s place to pick up the dinner Mrs Heyward so graciously offered to make for your birthday.

John B sent JJ another wink before waving you guys off. Your friends all watched as you guys got on JJ’s bike and headed off, all giggling and chatting about whatever this surprise was. 

“Thank you so much! I owe you, Miss Heyward!” JJ yelled as he ran back from the door to his bike, you waved and blew Pope’s mom a kiss as she called out a happy birthday before JJ handed you the box of food and promised to go slow while starting his bike back up.

He actually kept his promise and after what felt like forever you stopped not too far from the docks where you grew up watching the boys fish and as JJ ever so graciously took the box of food from your hands you began approaching it.

And there it was, an old blanket you recognized from John B’s couch laid out on the old wood, with a rock on each corner to hold it down and a single candle set in the middle, the melted wax signaling it had been lit but the wind had blown it out and as you watched JJ set down the box and turn to you with a nervous smile, clapping his hands together, you realized what this all was.

“So uh, I couldn’t think of anything to get you, and you said it yourself this morning! With everything going on the last few months, it’s been a lot for us and we never got a chance to really establish what this” he motioned between you two with his hands, “what we were, so what better than to have our first date?” You pouted as he finished, ignoring his worried questions at the pout as you got closer to JJ and wrapped your arms around his neck, smiling at how fast his hands landed on either side of your waist. 

“JJ, this is so sweet, you are so sweet” You whispered, close enough to feel his breath. JJ smiled, his worry instantly fading as he sighed. “God, you scared me” he laughed, earning a laugh from you as well. 

“Happy birthday, baby” JJ whispered back, a soft look in his eyes as they flickered from your own and your lips.

And for the first time since just before finding the gold, you felt confident in leaning up and closing the small gap, pressing a long overdue kiss to JJ’s lips, laughing breathlessly as his lips chased yours when you pulled away.

best birthday ever

[moremaybank]

i think jj would like the IDEA of a threesome but would be too jealous/possessive to actually go through with it and share his partner with someone else, no matter who that may be lol

PLS this is so facts. smutty content below, mdni.

when you're doing the deed and he's all riled up, he's just saying anything that comes to mind. "look at you, baby. so fucking greedy for my cock. what if we invited jb to join us next time? or pope? we'll fucking stuff you from both ends. there'll be so much cock around you, and you wouldn't even know what to do with it all." his thrusts quicken as his thoughts transform into feral ones. "you'd just love dripping with our cum from all your holes, right? let us ruin you and stretch you out so fucking wide you're sore for a week?"

and then when you're all out on the pogue, and he catches the group's eyes roaming over your body in your bathing suit, he does a complete one-eighty. he's quick to grab you and remind them that you belong to him. his hands cup your ass, or he makes you sit on his lap to hide it from their view. his hands hold your tits, and he throws a glare their way. "check my girl out one more time, and i'm beating all of your asses. she's mine." even though there’s no doubt in your mind, he just wants to prove that he’s enough for you and can give you everything you need. so you hold his face in your hands, thumbs sweeping over his cheeks as you press a sweet kiss to his lips. "you're mine too, j."

concepts

[flightlessangelwings]

A kiss on the cheek that turns into a kiss on the lips

Benny Miller x fem!reader (no use of y/n)

Word count- 663

Warnings- friends to lovers, mutual pining, hint of spice

Notes- Written for my 4k follower drabble event requested by anon! Thank you so much for the request I think this is one of my personal favs of the event!! Taglists are closed. To stay up to date on when I post, follow my update blog and turn on post notifs @flightlessangelwings-updates​

~

“Nice shot babe!” Benny’s encouraging voice made your heart flutter as he playfully bumped your hip with his.

You chuckled nervously to hide the way your hand trembled under his piercing gaze, “Thanks, Ben,” you mumbled as you fiddled with your poolstick.

Nights out like this were wonderful and relaxing, but also nerve wracking. You loved nothing more than when you got together with all the guys and you could just forget about the world around you for a few hours. They all made you feel welcome in their group right away, and you felt comfortable around them. Santiago, Frankie and the Miller brothers quickly became your best friends.

But there was one of them you thought of as more than just friends. And Benny’s flirtatious nature didn’t help the growing feelings you harbored for him. From the moment you met, you were captivated by him; Benny’s charming smile, his infectious laugh, his soft eyes, his kind nature made you a goner before you even had a chance. 

But you two were just friends… There was no way he felt the same about you. 

At least, that’s what you told yourself. It made it hard at times though whenever he would wrap his arm around you or gently nudge your chin or give you a subtle wink. You convinced yourself that was just how he was, though, and it didn’t mean anything with you. Especially when you knew about the nights he went home with someone else… 

“Hey…” Benny’s voice broke you out of your thoughts, “You still with me here, babe?” he asked with a puzzled look in his eyes, “I need your help to kick Pope and Fish’s ass and win this pool game!” 

“Y-yeah,” you stuttered, “I’m still here,” you found your voice as you steadied yourself on your feet next to your partner, “Let’s win this thing, Benny!”

“Alright that’s what I want to hear!” Benny cheered as he kissed you softly on the cheek in the heat of the moment. 

Both of you froze.

“Ben…” you whispered as your fingers grazed the skin of your face and you felt like you were on fire.

Benny’s gaze turned serious as the world melted away around him and only you were in focus. His hand landed on the side of your face as his eyes dropped down to your lips for just a moment, “Is this ok… baby?” he asked in a tone you had never heard before.

“Yes,” you breathed without hesitation.

Benny’s face lit up and before you knew it, he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer as he pressed his lips against yours. You immediately melted into his embrace and parted your lips for him. Sparks flew between you as months of repressed feelings exploded to the surface. It all felt like a whirlwind: one moment you were just playing pool with Benny, the next moment you were living a romance fantasy.

Cheers from the other end of the pool table brought the moment crashing down as quickly as it started, however, and you and Benny broke away to find Santi, Frankie and Will cheering for the two of you.

“Fucking finally!” Santi jeered.

“We were wondering how long it was going to take you two idiots to realize you liked each other,” Will added.

A wave of heat pulsed through your veins and you felt even more embarrassed than before. 

“Fuck off, you guys,” Benny snipped at them, “We were just taking our time that’s all.”

“Yeah, ok,” Frankie rolled his eyes with a smile, “Now can we get back to the game or are we going to have to watch you two suck each other’s faces the rest of the night?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Benny bantered back at his friends, “Just one more kiss,” he said before he leaned in and kissed you again before he murmured in your ear, “If they think this is bad, just wait til I get you home…”

[maybankxw]

MOVES

pairing: jj maybank x fem!reader

warnings: mature content ahead! [ public sex; fingering; ] minors dni!!!

summary: she attempts for jj’s attention in a restaurant

word count: 1.4k

a/n: one of my favourites, enjoy! x

links: masterlist / taglist / ask box

any feedback (comments, reblogs, anon asks) would be appreciated!

“And then the boat just flipped and he went underwater!” Pope’s voice was muffled in my ears. Maybe I was a bad friend for not paying attention, blame JJ, because my entire attention was on him. I loved teasing him, more than I loved my cherry chocolate cake and trust me, I could sell my soul for that one piece of sugary pasty. But when we were in public? That’s a different kind of satisfaction.

“He’s home now, but he had to see the doctors…” Pope kept talking next to me, while I nibbled my lip in between my teeth, staring at Maybank’s mouth, remembering our last night, how that mouth drove me out of my mind, leaving me gasping and clenching the sheets.

“Are you even listening?” I felt a jostle on my side, my gaze switched to my friend beside me who sat with the scowl on his face.

“Of course I am!” I protested, “There’s no need to fight me!” I shoved him back playfully, taking a sip of my mojito lemonade. Cool liquid ran down my dry throat, not helping the flicker of electricity in the pit of my stomach whatsoever.

It was a friendly gathering with the three of us: Pope, JJ and me. Kiara was too busy and our beloved couple went on a picnic date together.

We settled in a small restaurant, bright insides from sunlight, which lingered through the huge glass windows, comfy green plush couches with decorative pillows and mahogany tables.

“His heart stopped for like thirty seconds!” Pope’s hands slapped the wooden surface, but I barely noticed, because I kept staring at JJ. We secretly fucked, none of our friends had the slightest idea, we both agreed on that, because there’s danger in being caught meaning more fun. I slipped off my shoe and stretched my leg beneath the table, my toes slid up his shin, his knee and up his thick thigh, that he made me ride until I came. Blue eyes darted to me and he shot me a warning look, I only returned a wry smile as I rubbed my foot against his lap, making my way closer to his cock. I knew he was already hard, but I needed to feel it. Suddenly, his fingers wrapped around my ankle in a tight grip that made me gasp. He didn’t look at me anymore, he watched our friend and laughed at whatever Pope was talking about.

Ashy blond strands were brushed back, his dark shirt almost half-unbuttoned, I fought an urge to straddle him and lick that neck and kiss that chest. Helplessly, I tried to move my leg further, but he didn’t allow me, so I slipped it down and back into my shoe, “I’ll be back in a minute.” I stood and strode to the bathroom side. Entering the stall, I hesitated for a second, but then I dragged my underwear down and clenched it in my fist. My black mini dress hit at mid-thigh and I smirked to myself at the though that flashed through my mind.

Back in the room, I slid onto the couch next to JJ, my hand slithered into his pocket leaving a little surprise for him.

“Missed me?” I flashed a smile, looking at Pope, my chin propped on my hands as I bent them and set my elbows on the table. I felt JJ’s shoulders tense, his hand fishing in his pocket, his jaw tightened at the glimpse of white lace, we both looked down as he retrieved a bit more of the cloth, just to be sure he wasn’t hallucinating.

“Are you guys okay?” Pope’s face was puzzled, we both shot our heads back up, “Yeah,” I said as calm as I could manage, “There’s some dust on his pants,” my smile reached my ears, reassuring Heyward we were just fine. My hand came to rest on JJ’s thigh as I dug my nails into the rough material of his shorts. A hint of a growl escaped his lips and I bit back a smirk. His palm closed over mine and he tried his best to resist my touch while I lost myself in the musky scent of his cologne.

Pope’s ringing phone tore the awkward silence and he took the call.

“Hey, dad?”

Me and JJ watched our friend as he motioned that he needed to head out, “I need to get home asap!” he mouthed with his phone still pressed to his ear and disappeared behind the entrance.

JJ’s face turned to me, his brows raised, meaning ‘what the fuck were you just doing?’ I leaned closer, my palm slid up and cupped his cock, hot and hard under my touch, my lips brushed his and I whispered, “Don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy that,” I smiled against his mouth, caught his lower lip in mine a dragged it slowly. His fist tangled in my hair and he slid his tongue into my mouth, “Are you naked?” he asked between the fighting and biting, “Is that why you went to the bathroom? To drive me fucking insane?”

At this moment we didn’t care if someone saw us, we sat at the farthest corner anyways.

“Sit on my lap.”

“What?”

“Sit on my lap,” he repeated, his voice hoarse, his eyes searching mine, lustful and hopeful. I did as he said, my dress inched up, my spine rested against his chest.

“My turn,” he rasped, leaving a hot, open mouthed kiss on my neck, his heavy arm sneaked around my waist and squeezed my inner thigh, a shot of electricity ran through my body and I shifted, grinding my ass against him, he growled and bit my shoulder in response.

“JJ,” my voice came out as a breathy plea. Grabbing his hand in mine I pushed him between my legs, the slightest touch of his fingers made me gasp and throw my head back. A chuckle escaped him and he rubbed me again, applying more pressure this time. He was going to fuck me in a public restaurant — I didn’t complain.

When he slipped two fingers inside, I grabbed his knee for steadiness as I bucked my hips against his hand slightly, sloppy sound of my wetness filling the space.

“Fuck,” his breath slid through my hair and broke against my skin. I was getting drunk on his presence, his growls and his touch, “We won’t get out of here until I make you come.”

His fingers curled inside and I chocked, suppressing a moan. He felt too good and the thought of us being caught was like pouring gasoline into a small flick of fire.

His thumb found my clit as he started rubbing steady circles, making my body jerk, his other hand squeezed my bare thigh, his lips skimmed my shoulder and neck in a faint touch.

“Harder,” I cried out, feeling the knot in my stomach unraveling as he thrusted rougher, his fingers covered in my arousal, sliding in and out effortlessly, “Oh, God.”

Low chuckle rumbled up his throat, his forehead dropped to my spine as he rubbed his nose against my bare back, quickening the movements of his hand, biting my shoulder and smiling as he felt my body trembling. Soft cries burst out of me as a wave of pleasure came crushing over my body, my thighs shook uncontrollably, my head went dizzy and I grabbed JJ’s wrist wishing for him to stop and never stop. I just hoped no one heard me or looked in our direction.

The ripples slowed, he eased out of me and I relaxed on him, my cum dripping down, staining his pants. When I returned back to reality, my cheeks glowed red, “JJ—“

“Let’s go, pretty,” he pushed my dress downward and I sensed his hand flying up to his face, the sound of licking made my head snap back, “Sweet,” he murmured with a sly grin on his face. He tasted me on his tongue. Oh this fucking boy.

“Get up,” he slapped my hip, making me stand up on my feet, “I’m not going to get easy on you,” he leaned and whispered in my ear, his arm wrapped around my waist as he dropped some cash on the table, walking me to the door. A smack landed on my ass as well and I jolted, “That’s for trying to seduce me in front of Pope.”

[obxone]

Your Terms, Not Mine (Part 2)

Edited-ish. ~1.08k words

(Part 1)

JJ looks up from where he casually leans against his bike when you pull into the parking lot. Your headlights briefly illuminate him. Once you are in park, your car door is opened, and he smirks at you as he leans against the frame of your car. “Feel like a walk on the beach?”

You frown at him. “Don’t you have a group of friends waiting on you?”

He shrugs. “They’ll be fine without me.”

You nod once before glancing back at him. JJ frowns when he notices the faraway look in your eyes.

“What happened?”

You shrug. “Nothing. Do you have it?”

He pulls a small bag out of his pocket and holds it out to you. You fish out the cash and pass it to him. He deposits the bag of weed into your hand, and you hold it tightly while huffing out a breath.

“Anything else?” He asks. His hand moves to the handle of the door. It is an unspoken offer from him like it always is, and this will be one of the few times you take him up on his offer.

You bite your lip, cheeks warming as you exhale. “Are you sure?”

He shrugs and reaches to guide you out of the car. His hand warm around yours when he closes the door of your car. “A walk on the beach will cheer you up.”

Your smile is tight, clearly fake, and he notices. You ignore the concern in his eyes and lead the way to the beach. The sand promises to be just warm enough after baking in the sun all day. The waves crashing into the shore will be louder and more relaxing, without all the tourists crowding the beach.

Once you are both settled next to the other on the sand, he brushes his hand through your hair that hangs over your shoulder. “What happened?”

You bite your lip and close your eyes as you confess both your low and high of the night. “Rafe got his way tonight. And I didn’t hate it.”

JJ’s head drops, and he groans. “Again?”

You nod, closing your eyes as a tear escapes and disappears down your cheek.

“Fuck, Cupcake.”

“I know,” you whisper, hands touching your face to wipe away any more tears before you meet his gaze. “I’m fucked up, Maybank. I warned you that when we became friends.”

He sighs before taking the weed. “I’m just as equally fucked up.”

You scoff, digging your fingers into the sand. “You don’t let Kiara use you though. Not like I let him.”

“But I do,” he murmurs, shifting his attention from rolling the joint you will share to you. “She calls, and I go running… every time. Even when she kissed Pope right in front of me.”

You frown, looking out at the dark waves crashing into the shore. “We deserve better.”

“We do,” he nods, finishing the joint. “But we don’t want better.”

You smile weakly and take the joint after his initial hit. “True story.”

JJ throws his arm around your shoulders, tucking you into his side. “What triggered it this time?”

“Kelce touched me.”

JJ sighs. “You don’t have to go to those parties, you know that.”

“I do,” you mumble, your fingertip tracing a pattern on his hand as it hangs over your shoulder. “And I hate it.” You tip your head to look at him. “But we all have our parts to play.”

He nods, agreeing with you, and you reach forward to grab the joint. He watches you, smiling at how quickly you seem to begin loosening up.

----

“Sweetheart?” Your mother calls from inside the house, and you sigh, snapping your book shut before dragging yourself out of the patio lounger. “It is for you.”

“Of course, it is,” you mumble as you pass her in the kitchen and step into the family room. You pause at the sight of Rafe standing in your living room. “Rafe?”

He grins, removing his hand from the frame of your portrait. “Changed your mind again?”

“Something like that,” You muse, crossing your arms over your waist. “Why are you here?”

He shrugs, hands going into his pockets as he gets closer. “Heard you were with Maybank last night.”

You shake your head, annoyed with him. “So what if I did?”

“Are you hooking up with him now?”

“No.” You respond and head back for your lounging spot. He follows despite his usual tendency to get angry and storm off.

“Then what were you doing with that Pogue?”

You curl up on the lounger, picking your book back up, and then looking at him. “Who do you think I get my weed from?”

He laughs, his pointer finger dragging over his mouth. “I don’t know. I never questioned it.”

You nod, looking down at your book. “You also never questioned why I smoke weed. Did you notice that it started shortly after you started paying attention to me?”

“Are you blaming me for your drug use?”

“Not blaming you,” you mutter, staring up at him. “But the two are linked.”

He shakes his head. “Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

You stay silent and hope that he will leave, but he does not. Instead, he takes a seat on the edge of the lounger.

“Why didn’t you come?”

“Because I deserve better.”

His smile is not his usual cocky smile, and he looks off at the sprawling backyard. “You started this, remember?”

“I did,” you admit, a slight chuckle leaving you. “And I still would probably.” You look away. “You are my first love, and I’m a stupid girl for thinking I would get to be different than all the others.”

He is quiet, too quiet, as he processes your words. “You love me?”

You scoff, peeling yourself from the lounger and moving away from him. You hug yourself, looking at the backyard now instead of him. Your heart breaking for the millionth time. “Yep. I do. Like I said I’m a stupid girl.”

“Y/n.”

“It’s fine, Rafe,” you whisper, reaching up to wipe a stray tear away. “You should go. I want to be alone.”

Nothing is said as he gets to his feet and exits back through the house. The silence weighing down on you after you have truly spoken your heart, and it is clear he does not feel the same way. You were his toy, a distraction from the pressures of the kook lifestyle and being Ward Cameron’s golden boy.

(Part 3 anyone?)

[ssuperficialspacecadett]

Familiarity Breeds Contempt

Chapter Ten of the Through the Scope series | Chapter Eleven

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 4.1K

Chapter Overview: Rochelle and Frankie's relationship finally reaches a boiling point

TW: toxic relationship, mentions of cocaine, depictions of domestic assault/violence

Notes: hey everyone !! this is a heavier chapter,, so it didn't feel right to include a lot of the things i originally intended too. not to worry though because that's what next week is for hehe ((: thank u to @missbabyjay for being a blessing and giving me some inspo for the fight scene !! i updated the tag list so please let me know if i missed you/ you want to be added ! as usual ... my asks are always open and happy reading <3

*no use of y/n & female presenting reader*

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

“What’s going on?” Benny looks puzzled as Will holds your scared body with extreme care. He peers past his brother to find only Pope following closely behind. “Where’s Fish?”

“Dealin’ with his past.” Will sighs as he sets you down. 

You quietly wrap your arms around your body and turn to look back at the front door of the gym.

“His past? Could you be any more vague?” He brushes past his brother for you. Benny crouches down and cups your face in his hands while cautiously inspecting you. “What happened out there?”

“I don’t know. I really don't know. One minute everything is fine and then the next minute a car comes barreling towards all four of us and I’m being rushed inside.” 

He looks for his friends for more answers as he rubs your shoulder. When Will stays silent, Pope speaks up. 

“Crazy bitch decided it would be a good idea to show up here.” He offers.

“Rochelle?” Benny stands to his full height. “Rochelle is outside my fuckin’ gym? No way in hell.” He starts heading for the exit with murder in his eyes, but Will plants a steady hand on his chest. 

“Fish is takin’ care of it. Leave it be.”

“Leave it be?! How can you say that after everything she has done to him?” Benny spits.

“For the love of God will someone tell me what’s going on?!” You finally crack.

All three of them look at you with pained expressions. 

“As much as we want to tell you-” Pope starts.

“And we really want to tell you.” Benny quickly adds.

“This is something Catfish has to tell you himself. You deserve to hear it directly from him and not a third party, hermosa.” 

“But-” You begin.

“He will tell you, hon.” Will wraps his arms around you and you allow yourself to accept the comfort you so desperately need amidst the chaos. “You just need to be patient with him. His past, just like the rest of ours, is hard to talk about. I know it’s easier said than done, but trust us.”

You slowly move your own limbs around his torso and take a deep breath of his woodsy cologne. Of course he wears a scent that is reminiscent of trees. They are one in the same if you think about it. Both of them are tall, strong, able to stand firm in any weather, and always constant. Will is your oak tree and you cling on to him until the raging winds start to die down. Unfortunately, just as trees are predictable, the winds never are. Muffled yelling begins to seep through the door accompanied by pounding fists on glass.

***

“Francisco fucking Morales!” She screeches. “We need to talk!”

He starts walking towards her. “Yes, Rochelle. We do.”

“Oh!” She gasps dramatically. “So now you want to talk?! That’s funny because you have been avoiding my calls and texts for the past week! I haven’t heard from you since Saturday night! It wouldn’t have anything to do with that fucking receptionsit, would it?”

He knew this would happen. He knew that she would immediately bring you up.

“Do you know how many times you would disappear on me while we were dating, Rochelle?” He asks calmly. “But now that we aren’t dating and I’m the one not responding, it’s an issue for you?”

He can see it in her eyes that she's taken aback. In every argument that they have ever had in the history of their relationship, Frankie had always rolled over and bared his stomach to her. He never tried to fight back in order to preserve the peace. Clearly she thought that this time would be the same.

“Why haven’t you answered my question?! Does that receptionist have anything to do with you ignoring me?!”

“This is between me and you. Leave her out of this.” He wants to keep you as far away from her hooked claws as he can. He might not have been able to escape them, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to let her drag you down.

“So, that’s a yes!” She throws her hands up in the air as if she is celebrating a victory. “I’m also going to correctly assume that she’s the reason why you haven’t given me an answer about getting back together!”

You were the reason. You were without a doubt the reason. In the short time that he has known you and the even shorter time that he has been with you, you have given him things he didn’t think he was worthy of. You gave back all the kindness and care he gifted you tenfold. You listened when he talked, communicated with him about the little things, and above all, even if you didn’t know it yet, were patient with him. He knew he was a broken and shattered piece of glass, but you were like the sea. Your gentle waves came up and kissed his rough edges until they were soft and round. You were nothing like the relentless, careening waters that he knew Rochelle to be. That he thought all relationships to be. You never made him feel like he was in a perpetual state of purgatory waiting to be granted access to the Heaven that was your affection. You gave it to him so willingly and without hesitation.

“No, I’m the reason why you haven’t been given an answer about if we are getting back together. I don’t want to do this anymore,” He motions his hands in between the two of them. “I want something healthy.”

He watches her eyes grow wide at his words. The sheer weight of them slams down on her so hard that he swears he almost sees her knees buckle.

“You ‘want something healthy’?!” She mocks. “I pulled you out of the gutter when I met you!”

“Oh my fucking God.” He whispers. It’s like he’s looking in a mirror eight months ago. “You’re high, aren’t you? You could have killed all of us and yourself driving like that!” Anger starts to bubble below his cool demeanor.

“Don’t change the subject!” She bellows.

“You want to talk about pulling me out of the gutter? Fine! You pulling me out of the gutter caused me to lose my fucking pilots license! The best part was,” He can’t help but laugh dryly. “You didn’t even care! That didn’t even snap you back to reality! You never came to visit me in rehab either!” He takes a deep breath to get centered as he can feel himself getting sucked in. “I’m just as complicit in the drug use as you were. You may have shown it to me, but I continued to buy it. I know this. But, when I needed your support you bailed on me.”

“I gave you a distraction from all of those goddamn nightmares!” She hollers. “If you were too busy being high on coke then you wouldn’t have them!”

“You’re fucking deranged if you think that’s what help is supposed to be!”

“At least when you were with me, you knew I wouldn’t judge you for it!” She quips. “What has she said about your little ‘habit’, Frankie? Did she gasp? Did she move away when you tried to touch her? Did she tell you she needed time to be by herself to think everything over?” 

He stays quiet as he clenches his fists by his side. His nails are biting into the flesh of his palm, but he doesn’t care. Her words vibrate violently around in his head. He hadn’t told you about the coke, not yet at least. It wasn’t something he was comfortable coming right out and saying on a first date. The fear that it would make you look at him differently or even want to leave all together haunted him at night. Keeping it from you was wrong if he wanted to be in a relationship; however, he selfishly wanted to keep the image you had of him inside your head intact and uncorrupted. 

“Well look at that!” She giggles maniacally. “She doesn’t know. You haven’t fessed up, have you?”

“What she and I talk about doesn’t concern you, Rochelle. As a matter-of-fact, nothing I say or do should concern you from here on out.” He conjures images of you and uses them to keep him steady and put the final nail in the coffin. “Since you clearly didn’t understand what my silence meant this past week, I’ll waste my breath on you one last time. I don’t want to be in a relationship with you. I don’t want to associate with you. I don’t want to know you anymore.”

“Frankie, baby. Please-” Rochelle begs. She can feel him slipping out from where she verbally pinned him. The struggle for control was tipping in Frankie’s favor and she didn’t know what to do.

“Don’t pretend like you care now to make up for the fact that you never did the entire time. It’s over for good. I should have ended it officially long ago. I guess in a fucked up way you did help me when we did coke. Whenever I was high I could actually convince myself that I loved you.”

Frankie watches as the woman’s eyes across from him darken. Her lips contort into a sinister smile and she tilts her head to one side. It made his blood run cold at how quickly she could switch emotions.

“She’ll leave you, you know?” Her voice is thick with false sweetness. “If she doesn’t leave you when she finds out about the drugs, she will leave when she learns about the little ‘vacation’ you took.” 

He feels like he just got the air knocked out of him.

“Once she finds out that it’s all an illusion, you and all your friends, she’ll run for the hills. At the end of the day, you’re still the man who shot first.” 

There it is. There is her winning blow. There is that conniving woman he always knew she could be. She had a gift for knowing exactly what to say to destroy a person from the inside out. Every time she did it, that signature smile was always present. It seemed to grow wider each time she twisted her verbal blade into his stomach. Up until this point, Frankie had managed to remain relatively controlled. He knew she was sick, but he never dreamed she would bring up what happened in South America. He told her, in confidence, a little about what happened because he desperately needed to. He went to places he never imagined due to the guilt he felt about Tom’s death. Figuring that talking about it would lessen the pain, he opened up to her. Unfortunately, that only worked when the person he was talking to was actually listening. 

“Leave, Rochelle.” His voice waning under the strain of his plethora of emotions. “We’re done here.”

“I’m not done! I have something to tell that lovely woman hiding inside the gym!” She makes a mad dash to the gym entrance. When she frantically pulls on the handle and finds it locked, she resorts to yelling and slamming her hands against the glass. “Come out! Come out!” 

Frankie has caught up to her by this time and is trying to move her away. As angry as he was, he would never resort to being physical with her. 

“Rochelle, for the love of God get the fuck away! This isn’t going to fix anything!”

“Does it look like I care?!” She screams, turning her body to face him. “I don’t get dumped! That’s not how this works! I’m in control!” 

She starts to bring her fists down on Frankie now. He blocks her blows with his forearms and prays that the guys have kept you far enough away to where none of this madness reaches your ears. 

Loud sirens slice through Rochelle’s incomprehensible rambling. He looks past her flailing body and sees red and blue lights begin to paint the buildings on the street. As they get closer, its noise registers in her ears too. 

“You called the cops?! You called the fucking cops on me?!” She brings her balled up hands down harder and faster on Frankie’s makeshift shield. “Asshole! Asshole! You’re such an asshole!”

A police cruiser pulls into the parking lot and comes to a quick stop in front of the gym. Two officers immediately jump out of the car and rush over. Within minutes they have Rochelle pinned up against the wall of the gym and are attaching handcuffs to her writhing wrists. She keeps yelling things like ‘this is a misunderstanding’ and ‘we were just having a passionate argument’. Frankie watches as the cops have to force her into the back seat because she keeps trying to climb out. She looks like a rabid animal being caged.

“Goodbye, Rochelle.” He doesn’t know if this is the last time he will see her, but for now he knows he can sleep without having to keep one eye open.

Once they finally have her secured, one officer climbs into the passenger seat and the one makes his way over to Frankie. 

“Evenin’, sir. What can you tell me about the young lady?”

He has no idea how the cops arrived and no energy to speak with them. Frankie just wants the comfort of you.

“Uhh her name is Rochelle and I’m pretty sure she’s high right now. I really don’t have any other relevant information to give you. She just showed up here out of the blue.”

“Well, we were already goin’ to charge her with assault when we arrived on the scene, but I’ll have her drug tested when we get back to the station.” The man looks into the gym. “They know anythin’ about it?” 

Frankie turns and sees Benny leading Will, Pope, and you to the front. Benny unlocks the front door and you slip under his arm and scurry to Frankie’s side. He swaddles you in his arms as he buries his head in the curve of your neck. He doesn’t know which one of y’all is shaking harder at this point. 

“I’m Benjamin Miller, the owner of this gym. Maybe I could help answer some questions? My friends here were also outside when she sped through the parking lot earlier.”

Frankie looks up at his friend and nods in his direction. An unspoken ‘thank you’ for getting the attention off of him.

“Let’s get away from all this craziness, estrella. Walk with me.”

You feel him pull away from you, but reach down to take your hand. He holds it tightly as he guides you away from all the commotion. You follow him as he walks around the back side of Brass Knuckles until the sights and sounds of the evening fade away. Then it's only him and you leaning against the brick wall. There are so many questions buzzing around inside you, but no words come. You observe him take a small pack of cigarettes out of his back pocket. He thumbs one out and places it delicately between his lips. Then he looks over at you with tired eyes and offers you the pack. You shimmy one out for yourself, an act of solidarity, and wait as he gets the lighter. He lights yours first and then he takes care of himself. Only after he takes a long drag does he speak. 

“I’m sorry that you had to be a part of that.” He sounds distant when he speaks. You don’t think that he’s doing it on purpose. This must be a defense mechanism.

“Do you want to talk about it? I know it's still really raw, but I’ll listen if you want me too.” 

The sun had long set, but the faint glow from the end of his cigarette allows you to see a small smile pull at his lips.

“Would you settle for the sparknotes version right now? I promise I’ll give you the details tonight.” 

“Whatever you’re comfortable with.” You offer quietly.

“Did you-did you hear anything that she said?” 

“I heard her yell your name before Will and Pope got me completely inside. Then we all heard yelling, more her than you, and finally her banging on the door.” 

“To make a long story short, Rochelle showed up angry because I have been ignoring her since Saturday. Over a month ago, the day Benny hired you actually, she texted me saying she wanted to get back together. It wasn’t a healthy relationship, but it was the longest one I had been in so I was confused. It sounds silly.”

“No it doesn’t.” You reassure him. “Keep going.”

“Well, I knew I didn’t want to be in that relationship anymore and I just didn’t know what to tell her. Ignoring her was childish, I know, but it seemed like the best possible option at the time. I didn’t want to get into a big argument. I guess that blew up in my face, huh?” 

“You did what you thought would be best, Frankie. Unfortunately, things just go south sometimes.” 

“Hmm.” He nods at your statement. “Basically she was just angry that I didn’t want her in my life anymore. She’s not really used to being told ‘no’. You really didn’t hear anything specific though?”

“No.” You take a pull from your own cigarette. “The guys never let me leave the heavy bag area in the back.” 

“Good.” He breathes out. He sounds like he is coming back to you.

“But…” You turn your head up to face him. “They really should have kept a closer eye on me if they didn’t want me involved.”

“It was you!” He says, whipping his head to look at you.

“In their defense, they were all discussing what they should do about her showing up. Will wanted to let you figure it out yourself, Benny wanted to punch her out I'm pretty sure, and Pope was somewhere in the middle. I got tired of sitting there and listening to them bicker so I took my own course of action.”

“You amaze me, you know that?”

“What do you mean?” You feel your cheeks heat up.

“I just-I just can’t believe you did that. There were four people telling you to stay out of it and yet you still found a way to help me. I’ve never had someone like that in my life.”

“Your friends would drop everything for you!” 

“I know that.” He laughs lightly. “I mean I’ve never had a woman I’m … dating do that for me.”

“Oh, so we’re dating?” You tease.

“Yes? No? Talking? Courting, maybe?” 

“Courting?” You cough. You were in the middle of inhaling and that caught you off guard.

“Don’t laugh!” He says, shoving you in the shoulder. “I’ll be honest, I have no idea what we are. I just know I like whatever it is.”

“I like it too, Frankie. Labels can come later.” You take the hand he had resting by his side and interlace your fingers. “So…you smoke?”

“It’s not an everyday thing!” He rushes. “It just helps curb the anxiety in a stressful situation.”

“I get it.” You say honestly. 

“I haven’t had to use them in a little over a month.” His hand squeezes yours. “That’s about when you came into my life.” 

“I’m your new vice, huh?” 

“You have no idea, estrella.”

The two of you stand, hands together, letting the smoke from your cigarettes dance around in the air. The quiet that has encompassed y’all is welcome. You don’t hear the blaring sounds of the siren nor the damped dialogue between the police and your friends. It’s safe to say that the coast is clear and safe, but something keeps you here. Something keeps you both here. You can feel it in the way Frankie is breathing, the way that his thumb is rubbing over your skin, that he has more to tell you. He says your name barely above a whisper.

“Yes?”

“I know I said I would only give you a quick summary, but you deserve more than that. You deserve better than that.”

“Frankie, it can wait if you want it to.”

“This is something I need to tell you. I’ve been trying to figure out a way to explain it, but it’s just so hard.” You clutch his hand to let him know you’re listening. “It has to do with my Tuesday work meetings.” 

“Alright?” You aren’t really sure what that has to do with the current situation.

“I don’t really go- they aren’t work meetings. They’re meetings, but they focus on something other than my job. I uhh fuck.” He has to take a breath. “It’s a support group.” 

“For dealing with what you saw on missions?”

“For the things I did to erase what I saw on missions actually. I go to an NA meeting every Tuesday. I met Rochelle when I got back from a particularly bad one. We both kinda clung to each other although, in hindsight, we were both sinking ships. We would go out drinking all the time and when that stopped helping I started using cocaine. It just snowballed from there into something I couldn’t control. I ended up losing my pilot's license because my habit got so bad.”

“God, Frankie. I’m so sorry.” 

“The guys helped me get into a temporary rehab and then find a new job. I’ve been clean for eight months now.” 

“That’s amazing!” You're looking directly into those deep brown eyes. “I’m so proud of you!” 

“You’re what?” The pure shock on his face makes you want to sob.

“Frankie, I’m proud of you. Pulling yourself up after dealing with something like that isn’t easy in the slightest, but you did it. You found your footing and have been walking on your own for eight long months. Going to those weekly NA meetings proves that you are serious about recovery. You should be proud of yourself.”

“You don’t want to leave?” 

“Leave? Why would I want to leave?”

“I’m an addict.” He speaks softly.

“A recovering addict.” You say taking his face in your hand after discarding your cig. “You’re recovering. Please don’t discount all of your hard work. I’m so humbled that you wanted to tell me about this. It would be hard to support you if I left, now wouldn’t it?” 

He surges forward and swallows you in a kiss. His tongue tastes of sweet tobacco as it parts your lips. Your hands find his hair and knock away his cap so you can run your fingers through it. His moans fill your ears as you bite down on his bottom lip. He moves so he’s positioned in front of you. You feel the coarse brick nip at your exposed skin as he pushes your body against it. His hand comes down to roughly palm you through your shirt. You whine in approval as your back arches in a subconscious response to his actions. 

“It’s Pope! I’m coming back there! Y’all better not be doing anything I would be doing!” 

The two of you scramble to separate before you get caught like a couple of horny teenagers. Frankie is in the process of snatching his cap off the ground when Pope rounds the corner of the building. 

“Hi!” You say, breathing abnormally.

“Hello to you.” Pope says with a knowing grin. “Fish.” He nods

The man next to you returns the same greeting.

“Not to kill the vibe of whatever is going on here, but Benny is bitching up a storm.”

“Oh, God. What now?” You question.

“He can’t find his ring girl for this evening.” He smiles.

“It’s barely even 9 o’clock.” Frankie finally chimes in.

“Hey, don’t shoot the messenger.” Pope holds his hands up. “I was just told to come tell you to get your ass inside. You know how the Millers are about punctuality.” 

“Yeah, alright.” You concede. “Tell him I’m coming.” 

Pope throws each of you a devious wink before leaving. You throw your head back and sigh loudly when it's just you and Frankie again. 

“Want to accompany me into the lion's den?” You hold out your hand to him.

“Yes, but can I ask you something first?” 

“What’s up?” 

“Would you maybe, Christ I feel like a child, want to be my girlfriend? I know you said that labels could come later, but I don’t want to wait until later.”

Your smile could light up the entire alley. You throw your hands around his neck and kiss him. He learned from your last interaction and placed one hand on his cap and circled your lower back with the other. You can feel him smiling against you as you pepper his lips, his jaw, and any skin that you can reach with kisses. 

“Is that a ‘yes’?” He laughs when you finally release him. 

“Of course it’s a fucking yes! Francisco Morales, I would love to be your girlfriend!”

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

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[avastrasposts]

The Pilot and his Girl - ch. 29

Our boys, along with Joel and Tommy, finally made it to Boston and start getting settled there. But working with Joel isn't as straightforward as it might seem, he is not the same man he once was. And he shares a trauma with Frankie, who isn't as stable as he might seem.

Series Master List

Chapter 30 - Warnings have their own post - Word count: 10.7k

Seriously, fuck Boston winters. You were not made for this kind of weather, no one was made for this kind of weather. You’re grumling under your breath as you stomp your feet in a futile effort to bring life back to your toes. Five Massachusett winters and you’re still no closer to getting used to them, despite all the layers you wrap yourself in during the colder months. The north easterly winds that rushed in off the Atlantic seemed to seep through both clothes and flesh and chill your bones. The bar you were waiting by hadn't opened yet, the owner, a prickly middle aged woman, was late for some reason, leaving you and a few other patrons shivering outside the door. Your plan had been to go straight from work and meet Frankie at the bar, trade a couple of ration cards for hot stew and maybe a whiskey. Frankie was due back from a trade with Joel and Tommy and you needed to talk to them about a special trade. They hadn’t been outside the wall, just another part of the QZ, to trade with someone who’d managed to get hold of actual pre-outbreak cigarettes, a very valuable commodity these days. 

Five years have passed since you all came to Boston. The six guys had built up a solid smuggling network, and you’d stepped aside. You still hated Frankie leaving to go outside the wall, it didn’t happen often these days, but even inside the walls, trading was risky business. But you kept quiet about it, and Frankie never brought it up. You just told him to be careful when he left, told him to come back to you and he always assured you he would. He didn’t always come back in one piece though, several times they’d come back with cuts and bruises and broken knuckles. Both Pope and Benny had even been shot, not fatally, but enough to chill your blood when you saw them stumble in. A stark reminder that even inside the walls, people had guns and were willing to kill for a trade. 

But the four former Delta Force guys, with the addition of Joel and Tommy, instilled fear in the QZ. People had learnt the hard way to not double cross or cheat them, the retribution swift and hard when someone tried to go against them. Pope had taken unofficial leadership, but it was Joel, and Tommy, who did most of the heavy lifting. Pope’s charm had always worked to convince people that he could be trusted to trade with, so he took on the role of negotiator and dealmaker. Joel, on the other hand, seemed to have lost all his charm and charisma in the years after the outbreak, and was always the first to volunteer for runs outside the walls. You often wondered if he had a death wish with the way he so willingly did the riskiest missions and how dark his mind has gotten since the death of Sarah. It had become clear to you all that Joel wasn’t the same man he was before the outbreak. Will, who’d obviously known Joel a lot better than you had, sometimes talked to you about Joel before the outbreak. He was worried about the older man’s mood, and how he sometimes used alcohol and pills to get through the night. The death of Sarah had broken the man and left him to survive, and nothing more. But neither Will, nor Benny, knew how to get through to him. And Tommy had given up, he followed Joel’s lead and did what his older brother told him. It was clear that they’d had five very rough years since the outbreak when you met them again.  

You chewed on your bottom lip as you thought about the relationship that had sprung up between Frankie and Joel. Tommy went where Joel went and Joel often asked Frankie to come too, along with one of the other Miller brothers. You knew Frankie was a follower, not a natural leader, and when he went on missions with only Tommy and Joel, Joel took charge. On their latest run outside the wall, they’d been gone a lot longer than usual. It’d been a trade with a community two days hike away and they’d been delayed, returning only after a week. You’d been frantic with worry, pacing Pope’s living room while he did his best to calm you. You’d had your bag packed, planning on going after them the very next day, when Frankie finally came back. He’d been exhausted, dirty and partially covered in blood, but unharmed and confident. The blood wasn’t his, it belonged to raiders that had attempted to take them on and suffered the consequences. When you saw Joel a couple of days later at the bar, he’d clapped Frankie over the back and praised him for the efficiency with which he dealt with the raiders.

“You dropped that first guy before I even had time to blink!” Joel had said, even a small satisfied grin pushing through on the usually scowling man’s face. “And it was a genius move to make them lead us to their stash, gave us a lot of extra supplies.”

When you’d asked Frankie later that evening how they’d made the raiders give up the information, he’d been unwilling to talk about it, only mumbling that he’d used an old military tactic. But the amount of blood on his clothes made you uneasy, and your unease grew when Joel praised Frankie’s ability to ‘handle things’ the next time they’d come back from a trade in another part of the QZ. Frankie’s knuckles had been bruised for a week afterwards. 

And worst of all, Frankie’s nightmares were getting worse again and you started to see the signs of his PTSD flaring up. It had never been really gone, he always had darker days or periods of nightmares, but since Arlington, and Herb’s work, it’d been under control. Frankie had tools to deal with it and knew when to talk to you about it. But now his nightmares were reoccurring again. He’d come back from a run with Joel and Tommy and be in a confident, elated mood, but then nightmares would inevitably wake you both up in the following nights. When you asked him about it, what triggered them, he would brush it off, say it was only flashbacks to the earliest days of the outbreak, that he was fine. And at first the nightmares had receded after a few days, but then it took longer and longer. The last time he came back, the nightmares had plagued him every night for over a month and his mood had become very dark. No matter how much you tried to coax him to talk to you, or to one of the guys, to remind him of the tools he had, he remained sullen and withdrawn. He hadn’t been back to normal for over six months now and you were worried. You were about to ask him to stop working with Joel, but you needed them to do one last run for you, a special favor for a good man. 

When you decided to step away from the smuggling, after Joel demanded that you and Frankie didn’t work together because of Frankie’s protectiveness of you, you’d looked around for another job that didn’t entail sewages or latrines. By luck you’d met an elderly man, an old college professor from MIT. You’d seen him struggling with the broken zipper of his winter coat one day when you were both assigned to cleaning out a previously condemned building. You’d become pretty adept at fixing clothes, button holes, broken zippers and had helped him by reattaching the zipper so that he could close the coat again. As a thank you, he offered you time on the amateur radio he’d built, using parts from the MIT campus. You had no one special to contact, you didn’t know where your parents or brothers were, even if they were alive, so you asked if Pope could use the radio time to set up trades. The old man, Sean, had agreed to it, and over the  years you spent more and more time with him. He’d taught you how to work the radio, even how to repair it and build smaller radio units, and now, a few years later, you worked the radio with him every day. 

Sean was a good man, old enough when the outbreak happened to not let the brutality of the new world affect who he was. He saw kindness in almost everyone he met and would dole out favors to anyone, irrespective of them being able to repay him or not. He was probably taken advantage of more times than he cared to admit, and you often stepped in to stop people from abusing his kindness. Your connection to Frankie and the rest of the smugglers made sure no one was willing to get on your bad side and now that expanded to Sean and his radio business too. And the more you saw of Sean’s willingness to selflessly help people, the more protective of him you became. 

Now, as you stood stomping your feet outside the still closed bar, you thought back to the conversation you’d had with him yesterday. Everyone in Sean’s family had lived in Boston before the outbreak but, like for most of you, almost everyone in his family had been lost in those first chaotic days and weeks. Sean had been having dinner with his son that fateful Friday night and together they had managed to survive, but everyone else had been lost. Sean never found out what happened to his wife and second son, lost somewhere in the city when chaos erupted. Sean and his son had been in the Boston QZ since the beginning, and after some time, his son had met a woman and fallen in love. A couple of years later they had a son, Sean’s first grandchild. But the birth had been complicated and without access to most of modern medicine, the mother had passed away. A few years later, Sean’s son had taken a wrong turn while on patrol with FEDRA and been infected, leaving Sean as the young boy's only caretaker. The boy, Liam, named after his lost uncle, was Sean’s heart and probably the most spoiled boy in the entire QZ, Sean couldn’t deny him a thing. 

Sean had come in yesterday afternoon, to take over the next shift on the radio, and he’d been uncharacteristically late. 

“Liam’s really ill,” he said, stopping in the doorway of the small radio room. He looked ashen and disheveled. Liam had come down with the flu a week ago but instead of getting better after a while, his fever had spiked. Sean had asked you to cover for him yesterday so that he could go home and care for the boy. He’d traded a large stack of ration cards for pills that were hopefully the expired Advil the man trading claimed they were. 

“The pills didn’t do anything and now Dr. Mason says he’s got bacterial pneumonia.” Sean’s eyes had been red rimmed and watery, “He needs antibiotics or he might…” the old man’s voice broke as he repressed a sob but he waved a dismissive hand at you when you stood up. 

“I hate to ask, I know how much you hate the danger Frankie puts himself in when he goes outside the wall,” Sean had said, stuffing his hands deep in the pockets of his knitted cardigan, ever the college professor. “But is there any way they could get proper antibiotics for Liam? Could you ask?” 

You had no choice, this was why you still accepted the danger the smuggling entailed. FEDRA simply didn’t supply enough of what people needed and the chances of getting antibiotics from them were minute. Any medicine FEDRA owned was hoarded and reserved for their officers and higher ups in the makeshift government that governed the country. Smuggling was the only way ordinary people could get hold of supplies that could save a sick child or relative. As much as you hated Frankie putting himself on the line, what he and the other guys did made a difference in the QZ. 

...

Outside the bar, the line is getting long. But Liz, the bar owner, finally shows up, grumbling about a FEDRA check point, and opens up. It’s an old building and it thankfully has a large open fireplace in the center of the long back wall. While Liz gets the kitchen going, you help out and start the fire. The warmth it spreads thaws out your toes as you grab the seats closest to it and start peeling off your layers. 

It’s not long before Frankie turns up together with Joel and Tommy. He comes straight over to you while Joel and Tommy head for the bar. 

“Hey, mi hermosa,” Frankie smiles as he sinks down next to you on the couch. His lips are cold when he kisses you, bringing a cloud of cold air with him. “I’m freezing, I need thicker socks I think.” 

“Hi Frankie,” you say, cupping his red cheeks with your hands, warming him up. Despite his darker moods, he’s managed to hold on to the softer parts of himself when he’s with you and now that he’s back after a long day in the cold, he wants to do nothing else but pull you onto his lap so that he can wrap himself in your bubble. But you’re still in public, in the bar, so he limits himself to putting his arm over your shoulder and pulling you into his side, soaking up the warmth of the fire. 

“How did the trade go?” you ask, Frankie’s cold fingers caressing the back of your neck, slowly warming up against your skin. 

“It went well, he didn’t have as many cigarettes as he claimed over the radio, but we traded for what he had, made him give us a discount since we had to go all the way over there and then he didn’t have the amount he promised,” Frankie shrugs, “we didn’t even have to threaten him, I think our reputation preceded us.” 

“Yeah, you guys have a pretty violent reputation by now,” you mumble, rubbing your thumb over the many scars on Frankie’s hands, his knuckles crisscrossed by thin white and pink lines. Frankie opens his mouth as if to say something but Joel and Tommy are coming over, drinks in hand, and he stands up instead. 

“I’ll get us some food, cariño. Do you want whiskey too?” 

“Thanks Frankie, food sounds good, but get me a tea if Liz has it,” you smile at him as stops in his tracks and bends down to kiss you instead, his lips warm now.

“Coming right up, amor.” 

Joel and Tommy occupy the two armchairs opposite the couch and Tommy lets out a deep sigh as he stretches out his legs and lean backs. 

“Fuck me it was cold out there today, this god damn winter is never ending,” he grumbles, taking a deep sip of the whiskey in his hand. 

“How’s the radio, any good information?” Joel asks you. Despite not getting off to the best start when you first met again, and Joel’s less than sunny disposition these days, he’s pretty decent. You supply the guys with a lot of useful information and Joel seems to respect that. And as long as Frankie’s protective streak doesn’t compromise their safety while trading and smuggling, Joel seems to appreciate how important you are to Frankie. Although, that might have more to do with how it contributes to the success of the missions. Joel had once said he appreciated how Frankie would always make sure he could get back to you and that included making watertight plans and covering every angle when they went out. ‘He fights like hell to get back to you, darlin’, and he ain’t letting nothing get in the way of that’, Joel had told you while clapping Frankie on the back after a particularly gruesome expedition outside the walls. 

Now the older Texan looks over at you from the brim of his whiskey glass and raises his eyebrows in question. 

“I’ve got some good leads,” you reply, “but I’ve got a special request I need to ask you about when Frankie gets back. It might require a bit more than usual.” 

“As long as it pays well, I’m alright with that,” Joel says and looks over at Tommy who nods along. 

“Is it a dangerous run?” he asks, leaning forward on his knees. 

“I don’t know, depends on where you can get hold of what I need,” you reply, looking up at Frankie who’s returning with two bowls, two mugs of tea and cornbread on a tray. 

“What do you need?” he asks, sitting back down and you gratefully grab your bowl. 

“Antibiotics,” you reply, “And I know it’s hard to come by the real stuff, but it’s for Sean’s grandson. Liam’s got bacterial pneumonia and Sean says he’s really ill. He needs it fast too.” 

Joel looks over at Frankie and nods, “There’s that guy who said he’d meet us in Concord, he was trading all sorts of medicine.” 

“Pope and Will said no to that one though,” Frankie says, digging into the stew. 

“Yeah, but this is different, if Sean’s kid needs medicine, and this guy can supply it, we need to trade with him,” Joel interjects, looking at you as if to make you convince Frankie. 

“Why doesn’t Will and Pope want to trade with him?” you ask Frankie and he shrugs while he swallows.

“I don’t know, I wasn’t there for that decision.” 

“I’ll talk to Pope,” Joel volunteers, “and plan the run, it’s a six hour hike to Concord. What do you think Sean is willing to trade in return?” 

“Anything,” you say, “I mean, it’s Liam, he’ll give up his own life to save his grandson. But I don’t wanna ask him for anything extra just because he’s desperate, that’s now how we do it.” 

“No, that’s fine,” Joel replies, downing the last of the whiskey and putting the glass on the table, “The guy in Concord had a lot to trade, we’ll be able to bring in extra supplies and make a lot in the QZ as it is.” He gets to his feet and shrugs his jacket back on, “I’ll go see Pope straight away, get this planned seeing as we wanna get the meds to Sean quickly.” 

“Thanks, Joel, I appreciate it,” you reply and Joel puts his hand on your shoulder as he steps past the couch. 

“Of course, darlin’, Sean’s been a good friend over the years, we need to help him out. I’ll see you guys later but be prepared to head out tomorrow morning.” The last thing he directs at Tommy and Frankie before he disappears out of the door. 

“Well, if we’re heading out tomorrow morning, I’d better go see Louise,” Tommy sighs and pushes himself up, “I might be in the dog house.” He gives the two of you a wave and leaves. Louise was his latest ‘on again - off again’ girlfriend. Tommy seemed to attract women easily, but keeping them was more problematic. Louise and him have been on again now for a couple of weeks after a very public break up three months ago. 

“Let me know if we’re heading out,” Frankie calls after him and Tommy raises his hand in acknowledgment. 

“Joel was very eager to help out Sean,” you say, “I haven’t seen him be so quick to go on a run unless it was something really extra.” Joel was a ruthless smuggler, you paid what the item was worth to Joel, and nothing less. You’d never seen him do a favor for anyone except maybe Tommy. 

“I think he’s keen to have a reason to go to Concord. Pope said the guy was willing to trade a lot of good stuff.” Frankie put the bowl back on the table and grabbed his tea mug, leaning back he pulled you into him so that his chin rested on your shoulder. “Maybe Pope didn’t think the journey up there was worth it, but it should be now.”

“Not like Pope to say no to a good trade though, the route must be really difficult,” you say, sipping your own tea. You were warm all the way through now, your toes toasty and your muscles felt loose. Leaning into Frankie, he bumps his nose along your cheek, dragging it up to your temple before he presses his lips against your hair. 

“We’ll be gone at least one night,” he mumbles, “are you gonna be ok on your own? You could always go stay with Diana or Eve.” 

Diana was Will’s girlfriend, Eve was Benny’s. Benny had met Eve pretty soon after getting to Boston, there was some story about Benny stepping in to help her carry a kitchen chair up two flights of stairs. She’d yelled at him for presuming she couldn’t handle herself and somehow, Benny fell in love with the tiny redheaded woman with a fierce temper. The big blonde man had followed her around like a puppy for a week before you’d stepped in and talked him up to her, telling her what a great friend he was and how you’d trust him with your life. Once he got a chance, she fell for him hard and the two of them moved in together after just a couple of months. He still followed her around like a puppy and it put a grin on your face every time you saw them together.. 

Will had met Diana while both of them were on probably the roughest duty in the whole QZ, the incinerator. Once you were all safe in Boston, Will’s guilt over Hannah had caught up with him and he’d tumbled head first into depression. Not even Benny could get through to him and Will sought out the most gruesome tasks, working long shifts and falling into bed each night. He worked with the other guys on the smuggling runs, but became even more quiet than usual, going along with what Pope and Joel agreed on. He wasn’t self destructive like Joel, he just didn’t care about anything it seemed. But then he met Diana, both of them regularly signing up for the incinerator. 

Diana had lost her husband and two young daughters when Providence fell, she was one of very few survivors that made it to Boston. Together, Will and Diana worked alongside each other for the better part of a year before they started talking. Once the dam broke, they found comfort and solace in the other person's strength and together they managed to see something other than the darkness that had surrounded them. It took them a long time to move from friendship to lovers but once they did, the old Will gradually came back and he started resembling the man you knew from before the outbreak. Will had been sharing an apartment with Pope ever since coming to Boston, but six months ago he’d moved in with Diana. And when Benny, Will and Frankie were away on smuggling runs, you, Diana and Eve often stayed together. Facing the long nights that they were gone was easier when you had the two other women around. 

“I’ll invite them over,” you say, “if you’re only gone one night I can manage.” 

Frankie pulls you in closer, his lips finding your cheek, “I’ll make sure we come back after one night, you know I can’t stay away from you for even that long.” The tone of his voice, and the way the tip of his tongue comes out to taste the skin he’d just kissed, made a different kind of heat flare up inside you. 

“I need to shower, hermosa,” he mumbles, his teeth finding your earlobe, “why don’t you join me?” The way his warm breath tickles your ear makes you shiver with pleasure and Frankie chuckles, pushing you away from him so that you both can stand up.

“C’mon, baby, I’m taking you home.” 

...

At some point during the evening, Pope slid a note under the front door for you to find when you come back out of the bedroom to get a glass of water. The note gave a coded time and place for Frankie to meet the others. Will was going with them it seemed and Pope must’ve stopped by after Frankie had pulled you into the bedroom. You hadn’t heard a thing, but then, Frankie had been busy making you whimper with the way his tongue teased between your legs. Now you were in bed, wrapped up in the comforter, while Frankie repacked his bag for the early morning start the next day. 

“I’ll see if I can trade for some thicker socks for you while you’re away,” you say, reminded by his complaint when you watch him pull out an extra pair of woolen socks from the wardrobe. “Cathy, down by the mess hall, she’s always keen to trade for cigarettes.” 

“I’m surprised she has any clothes left, she trades everything to get smokes,” Frankie says, checking his gun and ammo. 

“I think she has some sort of connection with FEDRA, she trades children’s clothes too.” You roll over on your belly and stretch, a big yawn escaping you. “I saw weird graffiti today, by the way,” you say, “A red fly. Ed was cleaning it off the wall and said it belonged to some group who call themselves ‘The Fireflies’. Have you heard of them?” you ask. 

“No, what kind of group are they?” Frankie’s done packing and you lift the comforter to let him back into the bed. 

“Ed said they’d been spraying their logo all over the QZ just these past two days, but he didn’t know why. Maybe it’s some sort of protest? FEDRA isn’t too bad here, not compared to Arlington, but people are unhappy with the rations and the curfews.” 

“I hope they don’t try to rock the boat, we don’t want a repeat of Arlington,” he shuffles around, puffing the pillow up under his head before turning to you. “C’mere, you’re too far away,” he smiles, hooking his arm around your waist and pulling you into his chest so that you’re tucked in under his arm. “Need you to heat me up enough to stay warm when I have to sleep in some cold house tomorrow night.” 

“Don’t say that, Frankie,” you mumble into his chest, “I hate the thought of you sleeping in the cold out there.” 

“Don’t worry, I’m used to it, and thinking of you really keeps me warm,” he mumbles, you can feel his lips against your temple as he lets his fingers rake through your hair. “Sleep now, amor. Te amo.” 

“Love you too, Frankie, sleep well.” 

...

You make breakfast for Frankie and Pope the next morning, feeding them fresh arepas filled with the last of some leftover chicken and a couple of fried eggs. As usual when you send them off outside the wall you’re quiet and jumpy. You feel like you don’t want to stop touching Frankie, keeping your hand on his leg while you both eat in silence. He knows where your head’s at on mornings like this and you can feel his eyes on you while you both get ready. When it’s time for them to leave to meet the others, Pope leaves first and lets you say goodbye to Frankie. He pulls you in and you wrap your arms around his waist underneath his winter coat, leaning your forehead against his chest. His arms come around you and you feel his breath on your cheek when he leans his head on your shoulder. 

“Come back safe, Frankie, or I’m coming after you.” 

“I know, cariño, but I’ll come back, I promise,” he whispers, his arms squeezing tight around you as your feet almost leave the floor. He gently puts you back down and cups your cheeks, pressing warm lips against yours. You let his tongue slip in, just for a few seconds, to taste him and feel how he tries to get you even closer. When he pulls back he brushes the tip of his nose along yours. “Stay safe while I’m gone, hermosa, I’ll be back soon.” 

“Stay safe, Frankie.” 

And then he’s gone. You close the door, always a feeling of loss when you know he’s leaving the QZ and the apartment feels empty. The only way to keep sane when he’s gone, is to stay busy. 

Your day is filled with people, a long line waiting to send messages through the radio. Sean is at home with Liam so you work the whole day, right up until when your unofficial office closes. You haven’t told Sean about the attempt at getting medicine for Liam, just in case things don’t work out. You count the ration cards you’ve collected, along with some other bits and pieces you deemed valuable enough to accept, cigarettes, dried beef and, as if by providence, a pair of extra thick wool socks in Frankie’s size. You pack those into your bag along with the beef, and lock up the rest of the items and ration cards in the hidden safe. 

You make your way over to Benny and Eve’s place and find Diana already there. She somehow looks like Will’s opposite but also exactly the same, as dark skinned as he is fair but with the same thoughtful, quiet demeanor and measured movements. She’s almost as tall as him and almost as muscular, when you saw them together it made perfect sense. But when you first met her she seemed so different from Hannah that you wondered if it was only convenience that brought the two of them close. But now that you knew her better, you saw that she had the same protective qualities that Hannah had. Even if she couldn’t collect strays the way Hannah did, she always had an eye out for people who needed extra help, especially children. And although Will and Diana were never as affectionate in public as Benny and Eve, or Frankie and  you, it was clear that they loved each other and that it was a lot more than just something convenient. The sheer change in Will was evidence enough, he seemed happier than you’d ever seen him since the outbreak. 

Eve pulls you in for a warm hug when you come through the door. She’s Benny’s polar opposite, a tiny girl with vivid red hair and a strong Irish accent. She’d been an exchange student in Boston when the outbreak happened and simply got stuck. She’d survived through sheer luck, locking herself in her dorm with two other students when it all broke out. She’d endured the following ten years by relying on herself alone and it had given her a hard exterior shell, coupled with a fiery temper you’d previously thought only was a myth but you were now starting to believe there was some truth behind it. But Benny had been taken in by her instantly, and even though it had taken her a bit longer to warm up to Benny’s golden retriever energy, there was no mistaking how devoted she was to him now. 

The two women sometimes made you wonder who you would’ve turned into if Frankie hadn’t been by your side, if you’d have to fend for yourself all these years. You were pretty sure you would’ve died in the outbreak, or been infected, which was pretty much the same thing. You didn’t even know where you would’ve gone if you hadn’t known Frankie and by extension, not known Denny and his cabin. If you’d survived you thought you’d probably just stay in the Arlington QZ and then die when it fell.

You tried not to think about life before the outbreak too much, and people seldom mentioned it these days. It was too painful for most of you. You always wished you’d had more time with Frankie before the outbreak, that one year of normality you’d had didn’t seem enough. But like you’d told him before, you’d rather be with him and live in this post-apocalyptic world, than not be with him at all. Life without Frankie was impossible to imagine but when he was away, like now, those thoughts were a bit too close to the surface. And you knew Diana and Eve felt the same way when Benny and Will were gone, so you sought out each other’s company for comfort and distraction. 

Today it was Will and Frankie that were away, Benny and Pope remained behind. There was a rule among the four Delta Force guys, to never leave all four at once. At least one of them, usually two, stayed behind. It wasn’t as patriarchal as ‘male protection’, it was about safety in numbers. Should something happen while the others were away, either to those still in the QZ or those on the outside, both groups had safety in numbers. You also knew, although that was more unspoken, that it meant a large enough group remained for a rescue party, should the group outside the QZ not return. It had never come to that yet, but it had been close a couple of times. 

Once you got your boots off and got a hug from Benny and Diana, you sunk down on the couch, inhaling the scent from the kitchen. 

What are you cooking, Eve? That smells amazing!” you exclaim, inhaling again to get a better whiff of the meaty aroma. 

“You’ll never believe this, it’s pork!” the redhead squeals, “Benny got me a new winter coat, and I traded the old one for three whole pounds of pork!” 

A few years ago FEDRA had sent an expedition out to gather as much livestock as possible. Most of the animals had starved to death, there just wasn’t enough feed. But chickens and pigs could live fairly well off scraps and although the pig population was small, sometimes pork made its way onto the market. 

Now you pushed yourself off your feet and went to the kitchen to peer into Eve’s big stew pot. Big chunks of pork simmered slowly in a thick stock and as you stir it your mouth waters. 

“I can't wait to try this, it smells amazing.” 

“Soon! Needs another half an hour, now shoo!,” Eve replies with a smile and waves you away from the stove and back to the couch as Pope knocks and walks through the front door. 

“Fuck! That smells so fucking good, Eve!” he calls the second he steps through the door and Eve laughs, everyone was getting excited by the pork. 

“Anything good on the radio today, hermana?” Pope asks you as he sinks down next to you on the couch and gives you a hug from the side. 

“Nothing major, some updates. But I talked to that Frank guy again. His partner is not the trusting kind but maybe with time we can work something out.” 

“Do you know where they’re based?” Benny asks, he’s putting down cutlery and bowls on the coffee table in front of you. 

“No, he hasn’t said yet, I think he’s still wary. But he knows I’m in Boston, I told him as a way to show trust. And I didn’t mention that any trade would be with at least four big ex Delta Force men…” you shoot a crooked grin at Benny who most definitely could look very intimidating when he wanted too. 

“Yeah, that’s probably a detail left to the end,” Benny chuckles and sits down on the other side. 

“Do you know what they were going out for today?” Diana asks, “I came home so late last night and Will didn’t have time to tell me this morning,” she’s looking over at Pope who nods. 

“Yeah, antibiotics for Sean’s grandkid Liam, he’s very sick.” 

“They’re doing it as a favor to me really,” you say, “but Joel seemed pretty keen, he said the guy had a lot more to trade than just antibiotics.” 

“That’s good, if it’s more medicine it might be a chance to bring some much needed supplies to the clinic.” Diana works at a small, volunteer run, medical clinic. It was the only place to get health care that didn’t involve FEDRA’s unjust priority system of hoarding anything useful for their officers. The clinic gave supplies to those who needed it most, FEDRA or not. 

“We’ve been out of antibiotics for over a year and we’re running low on almost all our stock,” she says. “I’ll ask Will to set up a trade with the clinic, we could use so much.” 

Eve calls you all over to serve yourself from the pot and soon you’re all silent around the coffee table, humming over the stew. You all eat your fill but there’s plenty left and Eve ladles some into containers and gives one to you and one to Diana. . 

“Give them to your men when they’re back, they’ll need warming up after a night out in this weather.” 

During the afternoon it had started to snow and now it’s coming down thick, the stubborn Massachusetts winter wasn’t ready to give up yet even though it was already March. When you leave Eve and Benny’s apartment with Pope and Diana the heavy snowflakes have coated the dirty streets, giving the neighborhood a Christmas-like feel. You shiver despite your warm coat, looking up at the sky and hoping that Frankie and Will are inside a good shelter at least, maybe even somewhere where they can light a fire. 

Pope and you walk Diana home and then hurry through the streets and make it back just before curfew begins. Pope has moved up to your floor, but in a smaller apartment now, and as you get to his door he holds it open for you. 

“Do you wanna come in? Frankie said you might need some company.” 

“Thanks Santi, that sounds nice, I’m not ready to face the empty apartment yet,” you say and accept his invitation gratefully. 

“I’ll get us some whiskey, make yourself comfortable,” he says and kicks his boots off and you do the same. You sink down into the corner of his couch as he brings out a bottle and two glasses. 

“Before the outbreak, I never drank whiskey,” you say as he hands you a glass, “now I feel like it’s all I drink, to calm down, to celebrate, to warm up. And I don’t even like it that much.” 

“Good think you know some pretty resourceful smugglers then,” Santi chuckles and occupies the other corner. He sips his drink and his expression changes, the light smile that had tugged at the corner of his mouth slips away and he looks concerned. 

“I wanted to talk to you about Frankie,” he says, his eyes lifting from the glass to meet yours. “His PTSD is flaring up, isn’t it?” 

You nod and sigh, “What did you notice?” 

“He’s been more tired than usual lately, almost fell asleep while we were keeping watch for a trade and he said it was just a bad night but I know him better than that.” Santi says, “And it’s his mood, Frankie’s not a chatty guy at the best of times but now he’s really quiet, if he’s not snapping at people, even telling Benny to back the fuck off and flaring up over nothing.” 

You tilt your head back and sigh again, deeper this time. You’d seen the changes in him for months but you didn’t realize it had gotten that bad, he was good at hiding it around you since you didn’t go out on runs with them.

“I’d like him to stop smuggling,” you say, looking back at Santi, “at least the runs outside the QZ or any of the more dangerous trades on the inside, the nightmares get worse when he’s been outside or had to do something violent.” 

“I can try to get him away from outside runs, the problem is Joel. He seems to favor working with Frankie and wants him on every run, he seems to trust him the most.” 

“Joel doesn’t get to decide who goes or who doesn’t,” you scowl, brow wrinkled, “Frankie’s more important than the smuggling.” 

Santi nods, rubbing his hand over the thick beard he’s grown, “I agree, and there’s another reason why I think Frankie shouldn’t go on runs with Joel,” he says, staring at the amber liquid rather than you and falls silent for a few seconds while you look at him, waiting for him to continue. 

“Joel’s…methods, or whatever you wanna call them, might bring out a side in Frankie I haven’t seen since our army days,” Santi says, sitting up a bit straighter and leaning forward, his elbows on his knees, “We did some fucked up stuff, you know that, even though we never shared the details with you.” 

“Frankie’s nightmares told me enough about that, yeah,” you say and Santi nods. 

“I haven’t been out on a run that’s gone bad in a long time but, here and there, I hear things about what Joel gets up to, when he’s out with Tommy and Frankie, that’s got me worried. Benny mentioned something and Joel let something slip once.” 

“What do you mean, Santi?” you say, anxiously leaning forwards too and he sighs.

“Joel’s very good at violence, and I think he’s bringing that side out in Frankie too. But I’m not sure,” he adds quickly as he sees your horrified expression, “but I think it would do Frankie good to not work so closely with Joel.” 

You can feel your chest constricting, unable to sit still you nervously twist your hands together around the glass “Santi, please, whatever you do, make sure Frankie stops going on runs with him,” you plead, your voice wobbly as tears spring up. Santi moves across the couch and holds out his arms for you.

“Come here, hermana, I promise, I’ll get him to stay behind,” he pulls you in for a hug and you gratefully accept his arms around you, sniffling into his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he says, cupping the back of your head with his hand, “I shouldn’t have brought this up now, especially not with Frankie away,” he says, rubbing your back. 

“No, it’s good you told me, I need to know, or I can’t do anything about it,” you push back a bit from Santi and rub your wet eyes. Santi lets go of you and grabs a handkerchief from the side table behind the couch.

“Here, it’s clean,” he offers it to you.

“Thanks, fuck,” you sigh, “I’m such a cryer, you’d think I’d be tougher after ten years in the fucking apocalypse.” 

“You love Frankie,” Santi says and gives you a small smile, “and when he has issues I think you’re allowed to cry as much as you want. And I’ll try to talk to him, get him to stop doing runs for a while, I’ll tell him you’re worried about him, he’ll do anything for you.” 

“Thanks Santi,” you sigh and gratefully accept the glass he holds up, taking a small sip. 

“Do you wanna stay here tonight? I’ll sleep on the couch, you can take the bed.” 

You shake your head, “No, I know what you get up to in that bed, the walls are not that thick, but thanks for the offer.” You smile at him as he chuckles and looks mock offended. 

“I change the sheets, you know.” 

“Corny as it sounds, I wanna sleep on Frankie’s pillow, it smells like him,” you say as you get up and reach for your boots, “Makes me sleep better when he’s gone.” 

Santi smiles and pulls you in for another hug as you stand up, “I’m glad I made him go ask for your number, he’s lucky to have you.” 

“Thanks, Santi,” you wrap your arms around him and give him a big squeeze, “I’m lucky to have both of you in my life, don’t know what I’d do without you.” 

“Probably have less sex,” he quips with a grin, “like you say, the walls are not that thick.” 

“Shut the fuck up,” you slap his shoulder and laugh. “Sleep well, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Sleep well, and you know where I am if you need company, just come over.” 

...

It’s not very late the next evening when you hear Frankie come through the door, his heavy pack dropping on the floor as you step out from the kitchen. He looks cold and wet, and he gives you a tired smile as you wrap your arms around him. 

“Walking in the snow was fucking exhausting,” he grumbles, his cold face tucked against the crook of your neck. “Is there hot water? I really need a shower.” 

“Plenty, I didn’t shower yet - fuck!,” you squeal as Frankie’s cold fingers find their way under your sweater, “your hands are so cold!”

“Sorry, but you’re just so soft and warm, hermosa,” he mumbles, pulling you closer and you feel the melting snow on his jacket starting to seep through your clothes. 

“Get your clothes off, Frankie boy, I’ll warm up the shower for you,” you giggle as he tries to slide his cold hands down your trousers. “Get off me,” you grin, pushing him away as he disobeys and grabs your ass with two icy hands. 

“Only if you shower with me,” he chuckles and you wiggle his hands out of your trousers and start pushing his jacket off.

“Did you get the antibiotics?” you ask as you hang it up to dry behind him.

“Yeah, Will took it to Sean straight away. It was expired but I remember Dr. Mason saying most antibiotics are fine even fifteen years after they’ve expired so I hope they work for Liam.” 

“Thanks for going out for them, Frankie, it really means a lot.” Frankie comes into the bathroom with you and sinks down on the toilet seat as you turn on the shower. The water is slow to warm up but it’ll get hot soon enough.

“Sean’s a good man and he’s helped us many times with the radio,” he says, letting you help him undress. Now that he's under the bright bathroom light you can see the dark circles under his eyes, he looks dead on his feet. You unbutton his thick flannel, peeling the layers off him and ushering him into the shower when he tries tugging at your sweater. 

“Get warm first, Frankie,” you smile, pinching his cold butt as he steps in, earning you a growl that turns into a full body shudder as the warm water hits him. 

“Fuck that’s good,” he groans, dropping his head down onto his chest with a deep sigh. 

You stay together in the shower until the warm water runs out and then you drag Frankie to bed with you, only getting up to bring Eve’s leftovers to him. Once he’s eaten he pulls you in close, his hard cock grinding against your hip while he dips his thick fingers into you, swallowing down your moans as you seek out his mouth. When he’s made you come you push him onto his back, straddling his narrow hips and sinking down over his hard cock. His eyes are half closed, head tilted back on to the pillow and you can feel his fingers digging bruises into your hips while he groans under you. He comes hard, with a loud shout, and pulls you down over him as he grinds his hips into you, burying himself deep. He’s almost asleep by the time you untangle yourself from his arms and go to clean up. When you come back he’s softly snoring and he only wakes up enough to wrap his arm around you when you pull the comforter over the both of you.

“Love you,” he mumbles, half asleep, into your neck. 

“Love you to, Frankie,” you whisper, taking his hand on your chest and pulling it closer. 

...

Will comes by the radio office the next day, just before you close up. His big frame feels even bigger inside the small office and the kitchen chair in the corner creaks under his weight as he sits down. The young girl who’s sitting on her mother’s lap gives him a wide eyed stare as the mother dictates a message to you. You can’t help but giggle at the girl’s astonished face as Will gives her a small finger wave and a smile. 

“You need to work on your charm, Will,” you say to him as the girl and her mother have left and you’ve closed the door to the radio room. 

“I must look old and scary,” he chuckles and swaps seats so that he’s in front of your desk instead. “I dropped off the meds to Sean last night, he gave them to Liam straight away.” 

“Frankie told me, and I stopped by there on my way here this morning, Liam’s already doing better. Dr. Mason says his fever broke just before dawn.” 

“That’s great to hear, then our run was worth it,” Will leans back in the chair, running his hand through his hair and sighs, “I need to talk to you about Frankie though.” 

“You too? Pope said the same thing when you guys were away, about Frankie’s PTSD getting worse.” 

“Yeah, he said he was gonna talk to you about it, but this is about something else, although I’m pretty sure it’s connected to his PTSD.” Will replies and crosses his arms, you recognise the look on his face, the way he collects his thoughts before he speaks. 

“When we met up with the guy,” he says eventually, locking eyes with you, “he had a pretty good stash of medicine to trade, but when we asked about antibiotics, he said he didn’t want to trade them for what we were offering. He had some other guy near Worcester who would pay more, more than what we had on us. We tried talking him into accepting our offer but he refused. So I did the trade with him for the other stuff, still trying to persuade him, telling him about Liam and how it would save his life but the guy refused.” Will pauses and shakes his head, “Frankie lost it, he lashed out, punched the guy and threatened to gouge out his eye if he didn’t take us to his supplies. Frankie had his knife out, the point next to the guys eye and Joel was telling him to do it, it was fucking close.” 

You shudder, you’ve seen Frankie be violent when needed, but you’d never seen him threaten anyone like that, even though you realized he was capable of it. Will is still looking at you, pausing his story when you pulled back, now you nod at him to continue. 

“I was trying to calm things down, the guy was panicking, I was worried he’d do something stupid. And Frankie was not thinking straight, his hands were shaking, he nicked the guy's cheek with his trembling. And the guy caved, took us to his stash, it wasn’t far, and traded us for the antibiotics. Frankie kept talking about how you need them for Sean, to save Liam, that Liam deserves to live because Sean is a good man. I got worried, Frankie wasn’t on top of things, I’ve seen him slip before, towards the end of our time serving together, and that’s where he was now, his headspace was not good.” 

“Do you think something triggered him specifically?” you ask and Will shakes his head. 

“No, just all of it, the stress and danger of being outside the wall and the need to get meds for Liam. But Joel didn’t help, I’ve talked Frankie back from this kind of situation a couple of times but Joel was pushing it. Yelling at the guy, telling Frankie to get closer, it was fucked up, I had to step in and pull Frankie off the guy.” 

Will crosses his arms again and lets out a deep sigh, “Joel’s changed, we know that, it’s like he doesn’t give a fuck about anyone, apart from maybe Tommy. But he's inadvertently getting inside Frankie’s head too, picking at the worst parts of the soldier version of Frankie. And since you’re the only person Frankie really cares about,” Will raises his hand as you begin to protest, “It’s true, I’m not saying Frankie doesn’t care about the rest of us, but you are everything to him, without you, he has nothing, and you know that. And Joel’s particular brand of personal hell is seeping into Frankie and activating behaviors that I thought were long gone..”

“Fuck, Will…” you sigh, sinking down in your chair, looking over at him with worry, “Frankie can’t go out anymore, he just can’t:” 

“I know, that’s what I was thinking too. But there’s more, unfortunately, “ Will says with a grimace, “The guy had oxy to trade and I said no, we don’t deal with that. But Joel took it anyway, said he’d just trade it on his own to the soldiers, the profit was too good to pass up on.”

“So Joel’s just gonna trade on his own? With Tommy?” you ask and Will nods, his eyebrows pulled together in a deep frown.. 

“I think so, I talked to Pope and we have to have a sit down with them, see where we stand if Joel insists on trading oxy on his own. But you’re gonna have to talk to Frankie, make sure he’s ok.” 

“Yeah, I’m gonna talk to him tonight, he can’t go out on runs anymore Will, it’s already fucking with his head, and it’s just getting worse.” 

“I agree, but he listens to you, he’ll be fine once he gets away from Joel and doesn’t do runs with him.” 

“Thanks Will, I hope you’re right,” you say, getting up and grabbing your coat, “I’d better get home and talk to him straight away.” 

“It’ll be fine, he listens to you,” Will says, accepting your hug when you stand on your tiptoes to reach around his neck, “he’ll be fine.”

…

You wish it had been as easy as Will had said, but it wasn’t, far from it. You got home, Frankie was already there, sorting dinner and you kept thinking about what to say to him all through it, and of course he knew something was wrong and asked. But now you’re standing on either side of the couch and you can feel hot tears prickling behind your eyes while Frankie stares at you, his hands on his hips and his brows furrowed. 

“I did what I did because of you, because of Liam!” he says, throwing his hands in the air, “He needed the meds and you asked me to get them!”

“I didn’t tell you to go threatening to gouge someone’s eye out!” you say back, your voice louder than you intend, but frustration is making it hard to control yourself, Frankie just doesn’t seem to get it. “How can you-” 

“Because I had to!” he yells, cutting you off, “He had what we needed to help Sean and Liam, what was I gonna do? He was refusing to give it to us and we needed those meds. Liam needed those meds! What the fuck was I supposed to do? Walk away?”

“Yes! Maybe that's the choice you have make sometimes! Maybe it’s so fucked up now that you have to choose if you wanna be the guy who gouges someones eye out or not, Frankie!” You yell back at him, angry tears starting to drip and you wipe the palm of your hand over your eyes as Frankie growls. 

“I don’t wanna be that guy!” Frankie shouts, gripping the back of the couch and you see his knuckles turn white, “I don’t wanna! But I fucking know how to be that guy and I’m gonna be him if I need to!”. 

“You’ve always got a choice! And what if he’d refused, or Will wasn’t there? Would you have done it and taken his eye out?” You can feel tears staining your cheeks now and usually Frankie drops anything he’s doing if he sees you cry, any time you disagree, it’s like kryptonite to him. But now he just stares at you and puts his hands back on his hips. 

“I don’t fucking understand you, you’re telling me that guy's eye is worth more than Liam’s life?” Frankie shakes his head like he can’t believe what you’re saying, “He had what we needed to save Liam’s life, what right does he have to deny us that? What if was Lucía? Then what? Would you still tell me his eye was worth more?” He’s coming around the couch and up to you, staring down at you with his eyes dark and you raise your hands, palms towards his chest. “Frankie…” 

“No, I would’ve fucking killed him and anyone who had what she needed and you know that! You fucking know I would’ve done anything to save her so you have no right to stop me from doing anything necessary to save Liam!” He’s yelling at you and you take a step back, choking on your tears as Frankie runs both hands through his hair, turning around and stalking back across the living room. 

“And it was your fucking idea, you’re idea to get the meds, that’s why I went out there and risked my fucking life in the first place and now you’re telling me I shouldn’t have done it.” 

“Frankie, that’s not what I said,” you protest weakly, “I never said..” you’re cut off by a knock on the door and Frankie walks to it without a backwards glance at you. 

“Hey Frankie, everything alright?” you hear Joel’s voice from the hall, from his tone you can tell he’s heard your raised voices from outside.

“Hey, yeah, um…all’s good,” Frankie mumbles, “what’s up?”

 I thought we’d start planning that next run, if now’s a good time?

“Yeah…sounds good,” Frankie hesitates for a beat, you can hear the tension in his voice, “But not here, can we go somewhere else?” 

“Yeah sure, the bars open, we can use the room in the back,” Joel replies and you hear Frankie’s boots scuff on the floor as he pulls them on. 

“Frankie, we need to-” you say, walking towards the front door as he stands up and grabs his jacket. 

“I need to think,” he interrupts, his eyes on his shoes as he pulls on the jacket, “I’ll be back later.” 

And with that, he’s gone. 

The front door closes behind him with a heavy thud and you can’t seem to move. You’ve argued before, plenty of times, over stupid things. But he’s never left, never in the middle of an argument. But now he’s gone and you’re left standing with wet cheeks and a lead ball in the pit of your stomach. 

Slowly anger seeps into you, drying up your tears and making you bunch up your fists as you turn back to the kitchen. You break one of the bowls as you throw the remains of your dinner into the sink but you leave the broken pieces there as you stomp into the bathroom and turn on the shower. You let the hot water scald you until it starts to run cold and you step out, your skin damp and heated. It’s not even late, but you crawl into bed, pulling the comforter tight around you, trying to force your body into sleep two hours before it’s usual time. Your anger and frustration grows as you twist and turn, every position uncomfortable and with a furious kick you knock Frankie’s pillow off the bed. 

Finally, much later, when you’ve resigned to lying flat on your back and staring at the ceiling, you hear his key in the front door. As you listen he kicks his boots off, the jacket falls on the floor and he knocks the coffee table as he stumbles to the kitchen. Cursing loudly in Spanish, he sounds drunk. The kitchen tap runs and you hear the clatter of the broken bowl in the sink and another curse as a glass clinks.

Eventually he stumbles into the bedroom and you sit up, turning on the bedside lamp. It makes him stop at the door, his face sullen and tired, you can see his red eyes even from the bed. He’s swaying where he stands, one hand on the door frame to keep himself steady. 

“You have no right to judge me for what I do to survive,” he says, his tone stubborn. 

“You weren’t doing it to survive, Frankie,” you say, trying to keep your voice calm as anger flares up inside your chest again. 

“I did what I had to do so that Liam could survive,” he takes an unsteady step towards the bed, his movements are sluggish, his eyelids heavy, “You’re not out there, you don’t have to make the choices, I have to save them, we have to save them, Joel and me.” 

He spots his pillow on the floor and bends down to pick it up, almost losing his balance in the process. He staggers backwards, holding the pillow up, pointing it at you, opening his mouth. 

“Frankie, come to bed,” you say, stopping him, “you need to sleep, we should talk about this when you’re sober.” 

“You don’t know what I see, every night,” he jabs the pillow at you, his words starting to slur, “and now you don’t want me in bed with you. I’m too fucked up for you? Is that it?” He shouts the last words, squeezing his eyes shut and he loses his balance, stumbling back to the wall and catching it to remain upright. 

“Frankie!” you call, scrambling from the bed, “you know that’s not true, you know that’s never true!” You can feel tears starting to well up as you reach for him, putting out your hands to steady him. But he brushes you off, pushing himself off the wall and lurch through the door, back to the living room. 

“You, you,  ask me to go outside, to..to…get you stuff, but then…you think I’m a mo..monster when I do what I ne-need to do, to- to survive, to help h-her survive.” He slumps down on the couch, flat on his belly, burying his face in the pillow. 

“I don’t think you’re a monster, Frankie,” you sob, “I never said anything like that. Please just come to bed, we’ll talk in the morning, please, Frankie, come to bed with me.” You kneel by the couch, taking his hand, it’s limp in your grip and he shakes his head, his eyes closed. 

“There’s n-no t-tomorrow,” he mutters, sleep, or maybe unconsciousness, dragging him under, as you wrap your fingers around him. 

You rock back on your heels, swallowing down another sob, still holding his hand. It’s never been this bad, you’ve never seen him like this and you’re suddenly scared. It’d been getting worse, but now it’s spilled over so suddenly and you feel overwhelmed, frozen on the floor next to him as he begins to snore. 

In sleep he still looks like your sweet Frankie, even though his brow is furrowed and troubled. But you feel like you’ve had a glimpse of the real darkness that sits inside him, and it’s left you paralyzed. What do you say tomorrow? How do you get him passed this? 

Your body is frozen to the spot next to him, but your mind is racing, until a shiver makes you move. Stiff and like a sleepwalker you pull yourself up from the floor and cover Frankie with the blanket from the back of the couch. Then you drag yourself back to bed and burrow yourself deep under the comforter. It takes hours before you fall into a fitful sleep, new nightmares plaguing your mind as you try to find, and save, a new version of Frankie of who doesn’t want to be saved. At least not by you.

Chapter 30

Taglist: @pimosworld @i-own-loki @casa-boiardi @littlenosoul @stormseyer @mxtokko @javicstories @nunya7394 @welcometothepedroverse @harriedandharassed @meveispunk @hiroikegawa @jwritesfanfics @vickie5446

[blueicequeen19]

DHP Pt. 8

Warnings: angst, oral

Series ML

JJ doesn’t say anything at my confession. If anything he seems annoyed by it, his brows coming together in confusion as he looks away from me. I’m about to demand he say something or I’ll start crying but he slowly stands, offering me his hand.

“I gotta finish loading up the rest of my stuff in my truck then you can follow me to the Chateau.” I take his hand, unease filling my gut.

“Do the Pogues know about—?”

“About us sleeping together? No. They’ll definitely get a kick out of me getting someone pregnant though. They always joked it would be me first.” A pain of jealousy goes through me but I ignore it, following him into his old house.

“Better to rip the bandaid off. They’re cool.” JJ says, grabbing a few black duffel bags off the floor and leading me back outside. I glance around the living room, masking my distaste but also the guilt for making JJ come back here. It was trashed. It screamed toxic and hurt.

I quickly followed him back outside, gasping when I feel a flutter in my stomach and quickly cupping my bump.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” JJ asks frantically, placing his large palm over my stomach without hesitation.

“I think I feel him kicking.” I whisper, my eyes wide as I try to find the movement again. It happens, firmly against JJ’s palm and I watch the way his eyes light up. His smile is blinding as we wait for another kick, my heart beating rapidly in my chest.

“He’s kicking.” JJ breathes, smiling down at me like he’s just won the lottery. I guess in a way he has. I wanted to build a life better than what he’s leaving behind. What we’re leaving behind. One things for sure, I always wanted to see him smile like that.

“Congratulations?” Pope says with a grimace, looking around to the rest of the Pogues as they pass around the ultrasound pictures. I expected some sort of reaction from Kiara but her expression remains stoic from the moment she saw us arrive.

“Guys! This is good news! He even has JJ’s nose!” Sarah beams, leaning into John B as she smiles. It was odd that the baby - our son - resembled JJ so much already. Would he even look like me at all?

“We didn’t even know you were together.”

“They’re not.” Kiara’s irritated voice rings out among the group, causing everyone to look at her. “Just fucking, right J?” Kiara shoots JJ a look and I stiffen.

“Kie—.” JJ starts but she shakes her head, getting to her feet.

“Did you tell them what you did at Midsummers? How you almost drowned Bryce in a fucking toilet? He’s going to come for all of us. He’s not going to just let her walk away. Pregnant or not.”

“What the fuck—?” Someone says but I’m shaking my head, taking a step towards the angry brunette.

“Bryce doesn’t care about me. He’s with someone else.” I snap. How dare she try to act like she knows more about my own life than I do.

“How long has this been going on? Bryce’s family is powerful. More powerful than Topper’s.” Sarah asks.

“All summer? Since that first fight, right?” Kiara announces with an angry shake of her head.

“Shut up, Kie. You don’t know—.” JJ starts but she cuts him off with a wave of her hand.

��No it’s fine. You got your family now, right? Everything you ever wanted. A son on the way. A Kook on your arm. Your dad is gone. Do you even need us anymore?” Pope reaches for Kiara to calm her down but she jerks away from him, stomping towards the house and disappearing inside with a loud slam of the front door.

“Don’t worry about her. Kie takes awhile to come around.” Sarah appears next to me, taking my hand as she continues to stare down at the ultrasound picture. I force a smile, swallowing the lump in my throat.

“I can’t get into my apartment until tomorrow. Is it fine if we stay here tonight?” JJ sits down next to John B, taking Sarah’s seat as she gushes over baby items and names.

“Yea man, whatever you guys need.” John B throws an arm over his best friends shoulder, giving him a side hug as they smile to themselves.

“Another Pogue, huh? Is he going to have sticky fingers like his father?” John B teases, making the rest of the group laugh.

“I’ll take the floor if you want the bed.” JJ says, a pillow and blanket under each arm. I roll my eyes as I climb into the small bed. It oddly enough felt comforting to be in his bed wearing his clothes to sleep in. Even though he called his dads house home, the Chateau was his safe place. This was his bed and his space.

“You think we can’t sleep next to each other? I’m already pregnant.” I tease, watching as he bites back a smile with a shake of his head. JJ flips the lights off before crawling in next to me, careful not to touch me. My hearts races in my chest just from being so close to him but eventually we both drift off in comfortable silence after a long day.

I jolt awake, the intense dream I just had wrecking me from the inside out. These hormones were no joke. I was constantly undeniably horny. It was a wet dream and I'd almost came in my panties. My breath comes in pants as I try to slow my racing heart but my clit was throbbing painfully while JJ slept peacefully next to me.

If I got up, he'd surely wake up. Maybe I can just quietly get myself off and go back to sleep. It felt wrong to do this next to him while he slept but the ache was too great. I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep like this.

I lift up my hips and slowly push his basketball shorts down my thighs. I slide my hand between my legs, my body jerking when my fingers find my slick, plump clit through my panties. It takes everything in me not to moan as I push my panties down next. My entire body practically trembles as I push two fingers to my clit, using my other hand to bite down on. I was so close already, this would be quick and I could go back to sleep. I widen my legs as much as I can, planting my heels in the mattress as I gather my wetness and press into my opening. I gasp against my hand, biting down on my own flesh as I push two fingers inside myself. I can't help it as my back starts to arch off the bed and I have to stop to catch my breath. I felt like I was going to scream. The intensity wasn't something I'd experienced before from just a dream. I'm about to say fuck it and go into the bathroom when a hand finds my wrist, pulling my hand free. I suck in a breath as JJ props himself up next to me, the heat in his gaze undeniable.

"I-I'm sorry. I can't help it. These hormones are so intense." I whisper, my thighs trembling with my impending release.

"Fuck." JJ bites out, his hand releasing my wrist to slip back between my thighs. He's hesitant with his touch, like he's afraid I'm too sensitive. When his fingers brush my clit, I keen, my back arching off the mattress.

"You're so wet." He murmurs, gently circling my clit as I shake uncontrollably next to him.

"I know. I can't help it. It won't stop." I cry softly, clenching my teeth as he circles my entrance.

"This happens a lot?" JJ rasps, bringing his fingers back to my clit.

"I've been uncontrollably horny for weeks. I brought my toys but they're packed away." I admit, my face heating with embarrassment.

"Toys. As in multiple." JJ shakes with a laugh before moving between my legs, dropping down on his stomach. He moves my legs over his shoulders, his hands finding my hips as he looks up at me with those fucking lust filled eyes.

"Cover your face with the pillow. Don't want you screaming the house down." JJ instructs, not looking away as he licks a stripe up my slit. I nod in agreement, taking the pillow out from under my head and bringing it down over my face. It almost made it worse not being able to see him. I feel his breath fan across my pussy before he flicks my clit. I jerk, feeling his hands tighten on my hips before he does it again.

"God, you're so creamy. I'm going to have to change the sheets." JJ's deep, husky voice has me clenching around nothing while attempting to lift my hips in search of his mouth. His skilled mouth finds my clit, licking and sucking until I explode, my cries muffled by the pillow. The wave keeps coming, not allowing me a moment to breathe as I cum again and again on his tongue until we’re both drenched. My thighs tremble uncontrollably, attempting to clamp shut on their own but JJ fights me, keeping them open as he feasts endlessly.

“JJ, please, please, I can’t take anymore. Please stop.” I yank on his hair, my eyes pricked with tears as another orgasm rips through me. I slowly come back down from seeing stars, my chest heaving as I open my eyes to find the pillow gone and JJ on top of me.

Just by the intensity in his eyes and the way he’s trembling, I think he might give in and kiss me. I want him to. I could feel how hard he was through his thin shorts, his cock pressed firmly against my thigh. My body and heart ache for him but the longer we stay unmoving, the more I see his walls being put back up and he sighs, rolling off me.

“I’m sorry. I—.”

“Don’t apologize. I’ll take care of you while my child is inside you. I don’t want you hooking up with anyone else.” JJ says sternly, not seeing the look I shoot at him in the dark.

“Thanks. I appreciate it.” I deadpan, rolling over to give him my back, the mood officially over.

[beautifuldisaster88]

Forever by my side -Part 2

It had been six months since the brutal death of McKenzie Routledge, and five months since Ward's. A week after Rafe killed Ward, his body washed up in the marsh, a repeat of McKenzie's death and the discovery of her body. After a long investigation, Kildare County Sheriff's department finally pieced together the clues, or so they thought. They were right about one thing, Ward Cameron was the one who killed the young girl. However, they were wrong about Ward's death. They ruled Ward's death as a suicide, claiming that the guilt of killing the Routledge girl was too much to handle.

Nobody had heard from Rafe in six months, the Cameron boy going completely off grid. The Pogues grew suspicious, piecing together both Kenzie and Ward's death. JJ was under the impression that Rafe had snapped and killed both his girlfriend and his dad, which was half true. John B was a mess, staying drunk 24/7, going off the rails, snapping at everyone. He couldn't live with the fact that his baby sister was gone. Yeah, they were twins but Kenzie was five minutes younger and in John B's eyes would always be his baby sister. Sarah was taking it hard as well, losing her best friend and father in a matter of weeks, and her older brother packing his and Kenzie's things for some odd reason, and disappearing. The Outer Banks would never be the same.

"Nah, I'm telling ya guys, Rafe is behind it all. It's not a coincidence that after both Kenz and Ward were killed, that piece of shit split! He's a fucking psychopath and that's why I never wanted Kenz with him! Now look what happened! John B lost his sister. I lost my best friend, the one person I could tell anything to! Sarah and Kie lost their best friend, and Sarah lost her dad. Pope lost his sister from another mister, as he used to call Kenz. That motherfucker is just gonna get away with killing the world's sweetest and most caring girl. Nah, I don't think so. I'mma find his ass, no matter what it takes." JJ said, pacing back and forth as he hit his juul.

Sarah sighed sadly, looking up at the blonde from where she sat next to John B.

"Look, I know that Rafe is psycho, but I'm telling you, he'd never hurt Kenzie. He loved her more than anything. Hell, he rarely even raised his voice at her. Kenzie was the one person who saved my brother, and without her who knows what kind of fucked up shit he's found himself in. I believe what Shoupe said, I think my dad was behind her murder, but I don't believe that Ward killed himself. In fact, I think Rafe found out the truth and he killed our dad. I think Kenzie knew more than Ward wanted her to, so he killed her. That's my theory."

Little did Sarah know, she hit it right on the nose. After all, she knew her dad and brother better than anyone, except maybe Kenzie. Sarah knew that both of the Cameron men had issues and that they both had blood on their hands.

John B remained silent the whole time, slamming down beer after beer. Since his sister's death, he hardly spoke and even though he was always with the Pogues, he wasn't actually there. His mind was always elsewhere. Kenzie was all he had left, and losing her left him empty and cold. The once bright and smiley teenage boy was nothing but an empty shell. If it weren't for the Pogues, he would have ended it all and been reunited with his sister and dad, but he couldn't be that selfish, even if the pain was unbearable.

"We need to find Rafe." Was the only thing the Routledge boy said, not making eye contact with any of them.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Rafe had purchased the newest model of the most expensive yacht, for him and Kenzie to travel, as well as live for a bit. Knowing that he was wanted for questioning, he had to keep them both off the grid, even though in reality it was just Rafe.

These last few months with his Kenzie had been perfect. Just the two of them on the yacht, traveling the world, with no distractions or interruptions. The Cameron boy had never been so happy and at peace, clearly oblivious to the fact that Kenzie was just a hallucination. Even his violent tendencies had calmed down, even though he was still doing coke.

"Rafey, come cuddle under the sun with me. Feel so empty without your arms wrapped around me."

Kenzie's angelic voice rang in Rafe's ears, causing him to look up at the spot where the love of his life was currently basking in the sun. His eyes traveled over her bikini clad body, reminding him just how lucky he was. He quickly made his way over to where she was laying, sitting down beside her, as he wrapped his strong arms around her small frame and brought her against his toned and bare chest, placing kisses along her neck.

"Just say the word, and I'll never unwrap my arms from around you, bunny. This is where you belong, here with me, wrapped safely in my arms where no one can hurt you."

"Baby, did you forget? Ward already killed me, remember? None of this is real. I need you to remember, Rafe. Remember for me. This isn't healthy."

Rafe shot up in bed, drenched in sweat and breathing heavily as he trembled. What kind of sick nightmare was that? His Kenzie wasn't dead. In fact, she was sleeping peacefully beside him. This wasn't the first time he'd had a nightmare like that. The nightmares started about a month ago, and Rafe didn't know why. He was too far gone to realize that it was Kenzie trying to tell him that he needed to let her go, to move on. She was dead and was never coming back.

"Another bad dream, baby?" The sound of Kenzie's sleepy voice coming from beside him made Rafe snap out of it.

She crawled on top of him, laying her naked body against his, as she kissed his neck, his big strong arms engulfed around her small frame.

"Yeah, just like the others. I'm holding you in my arms and you say the same thing you always do... That you're dead, that Ward killed you and that I need to remember. I-I don't understand why I keep having the same reoccurring nightmare."

"They're just bad dreams. I'm here, Rafey. If I was really dead, you wouldn't be holding me in your arms right now and we wouldn't be travelling the world. You killed Ward before he could hurt me. You saved me, Rafey."

Rafe truly believed that he was actually holding his Kenzie in his arms, talking to her, feeling her lips on his neck. She was real, she had to be. At least he was convinced she was.

"Yeah. Yeah, I know, bunny. I'd never let anyone hurt you, not even Ward. That's why we had to kill him, cause h-he wanted to hurt you and I-I would never let anyone hurt you. I love you, soon-to-be Mrs. Cameron. As soon as this shit blows over with Ward's death, 'm gonna officially make you my wife, certificate and all."

Rafe grinned from ear to ear as the sweet sounds of Kenzie's giggles filled the air, music to his ears.

"Don't need a piece of paper, Rafey. 'm already your wife. That's why you gave me this gorgeous diamond ring. I don't need a fancy wedding with friends and family. Just need you, Rafey. All I've ever needed is you. Not John B, not the Pogues. Only you, baby."

If Rafe wasn't isolated alone on the massive yacht, people would think the young man was completely out of his mind, which he was. They would have seen him talking and laughing, kissing, holding and fucking nothing. Kenzie wasn't there, Rafe was just imagining her, but the heartbreaking truth was he actually believed that she was real. Any sane person would quickly realize that the Cameron boy needed serious psychological help.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

JJ came bursting through the front door of the chateau, talking a mile a minute as he paced around the living room, hitting his special THC juul that his cousin made for him.

"He was spotted. Rafe was fucking seen on a yacht near the Bahamas. We gotta get to the Bahamas man. That asshole took the best thing in our life and I'm not letting him get away with it."

John B sighed, downing whatever number of beer he was on. The brunette looked awful, his hair was unbrushed, he had dark circles under his eyes from the lack of sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Kenzie.

"As much as I want revenge, going after Rafe won't bring Kenzie back. My sister is fucking dead, JJ. She's gone! I think Sarah was right, Ward killed my sister because she knew too much and that asshole wanted to save his own ass, so he murdered my sister. I hate Rafe as much as you do, man, but Sarah was right... Rafe never mistreated Kenzie... She was happy with him. I hate the guy, but I believe that he killed Ward to avenge her death. He loves Kenz as much as we do. He lost her too."

JJ looked at his best friend, completely dumbfounded.

"Are you seriously defending that psycho right now? I don't give a shit if he loved her, he's a violent psychopath. Look man, I never said anything because one that's your sister and two she was with that psycho, but I loved her man... I still do and probably always will. It killed me to see her with Rafe, but as her best friend I did my best to support her, even if I hate her boyfriend. Ward and Rafe took away the only girl that I have ever loved. She comes to me in my dreams, man... Every night I dream of an angel and that angel is Kenzie. Even if Ward did kill her, the bottom line is she wouldn't have been in that fucking mess if it weren't for Rafe. He got her involved in all the Cameron bullshit, when she should have never been involved! The shit that she saw, that she had to do, my... Our Kenzie would have never done that shit if Rafe didn't brainwash her! He needs to pay for what he did. If you don't want any part of it, then I'll fucking find him myself."

JJ had tears streaming down his face as he spoke, his voice cracking every now and then. His heart was shattered, and on the outside he might seem like he was holding it all together, but the truth was he was broken. Every day he would go to his and Sky's spot, and talk to her, even though she wasn't there, the blonde hoped that his Kenzie could hear him, especially when he confessed his love for her, hating himself for never saying anything while she was still alive. How could anyone hurt her? Kenzie was loved by everyone on the island, not having a single enemy. She kept everyone's secrets, never telling a soul, she would have never ratted on Ward, that's not who she was.

John B sat up, dropping the empty beer can on the floor with the rest of them. Like his best friend, he always had tears streaming down his face. The brunette stood up, slightly swaying from all the alcohol.

"You were in love with my sister and I'm just finding this out? Her life could have been different if she was with you... I'd still have my sister. You're right though, Rafe needs to pay for his actions. He corrupted my sister, brought her into his fucked up situations, made her a part of everything him and Ward did. Kenz didn't ask for that life, she just fell in love with the wrong guy. I tried to warn her, begged her not to be with him, but when she told me that she was in love with him, I couldn't stand in the way... I should have saved her, forced her to never see Rafe again... I failed her, JJ... I failed my baby sister and it's my fault she's dead!"

"You didn't fail her, JB. You were the best brother she could ever have and you were always there for her, supporting her in every way. Don't ever say it's your fault that she's gone. The only people to blame are Rafe and Ward, and since Ward is dead, all the blame now goes to Rafe. We're gonna avenge her death man, that's a promise. I promised Kenz that I wouldn't give up on finding Rafe... That I would make that fucker pay, and I plan on keeping that promise. So, are you in or out?"

John B clenched his jaw, thinking about all the shit that Rafe had dragged his sister into. He might not be able to get his hands on Ward, due to him being dead, but he could still go after Rafe.

"Sarah isn't going to like this, but I'm in. Let's go hunt that asshole down and make him pay for being the reason that I lost my sister."