#now I just need to print them and find some old frames in the flea market!!

[nipuni]

I made one of my husband too 🥰 now I can put us up on the wall

[trashmenofmarvel]

Branded - Chapter 24

Pairing: Demon!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky receives your Christmas present.

(This is a fan AU of Falling’s Just Another Way to Fly by araniaart​. Please check out this incredible series for all of your demon Bucky needs.)

Chapter Warnings: So much fluff

AO3

You took your mission to get a present for Bucky just as seriously as your mission to seduce him. No alcohol was involved this time, just a little elbow grease and fighting through the cobwebs of the attic.

With your sister distracting Bucky downstairs after dinner (“Ohh, does this mean I can give him the shovel talk?!”), you had the time needed to find what you were looking for. A pile of cardboard boxes with your name written on them, along with the year you’d moved away from home.

You sat on the old wooden floor, opened a box, and began to rummage. Plushies and toys you hadn’t wanted to part with were in the first box. The next, various knickknacks you’d collected over the years. A crystal vial filled with water and gold flakes. A keychain full of dead Tamagotchis. A collection of bookmarks made out of wood and hand-painted with magical creatures.

Each new treasure brought a wave of nostalgia, bittersweet for a time when things had seemed simpler. No soul-sucking job. No demons stalking you, waiting for you to be alone and vulnerable to strike.

But there had been no Bucky, either. So while the memories held an alluring shine to it, you didn’t have a problem leaving the past where it was.

You came upon the object you’d been seeking tucked away in the third box. You opened it carefully, the weight surprisingly heavy in your hands. It was a picture frame, segmented into three parts that could close inward, almost like a book. An heirloom your grandmother had found at a flea market when her family had lived in New York.

It was clearly old, heavy with the weight of history, but the metalwork was delicate and beautiful. The last remains of a bygone era, a little bit tarnished and dusty but no less beautiful for it.

It reminded you of a certain other person from a bygone era.

Carefully putting away your childhood things and replacing the boxes, you went back downstairs and entered your mother’s study. The laptop on her desk was open to a webpage of a historical site regaling the Second World War. The glossy pictures you printed were still sitting in the printer’s output tray.

Taking the photos, you carefully cut them to fit the three windows of the picture frame. The pictures in them now were artistic drawings of anthropomorphic rabbits wearing whimsical, old-fashioned clothing. You carefully set them aside, planning to find new frames for your grandmother’s drawings; somewhere they could be displayed and not hidden away in the attic.

Technically, the frame was a family heirloom and probably valuable, but giving it to Bucky felt… right. He’d been a part of your life for much longer than two months, even if you hadn’t known it. The bond between you was strange, indescribable, and ran too deep to break. If that wasn’t family, you didn’t know what was.

Your mother would understand and forgive you, whenever you told her the truth. And you would tell her, someday. It was kind of unavoidable when you were dating an immortal being. You would go grey, and Bucky would always look the same…

The scissors froze halfway through a cut. What were you going to do when you grew old and withered? What happened to Bucky when you died? You’d thought about your own mortality plenty of times, but you hadn’t thought about the implications after meeting Bucky.

Would the bond break and Bucky would go on without you? Or would it hurt him. Kill him. Had the book said anything about the human slaves aging? All it had said in regards to death was they could die to protect the demon, giving the demon an extra life.

What if you couldn’t provide the energy he needed because you were too frail and gnarled with age?

What if Bucky didn’t want you when you got old?

What if—

Your jaw clenched and the scissors glided through the paper like a blade. Startled, you looked down at the photo, but thankfully you’d more or less cut straight. You stared at the photo, the last you’d chosen of the three.

A sepia photo of a handsome young man in a suit, the white dress shirt unbuttoned and showing the undershirt beneath, a familiar and easy grin on his face. Next to him, a scrawny blond boy who was much shorter, smiling reluctantly with encouragement from the brunet next to him. It was hard to believe the serious-looking boy would one day be Captain America and the young man next to him would become HYDRA’s most powerful soldier.

You carefully put the photo in one of the side frames. In the frame opposite, you placed a black and white family photo, one of Bucky, his sister, and both their parents. They were wearing their best clothes, the children on their best behavior, except the boy had an elbow pressed against his sister’s side as they both suppressed giggles.

The third photo, the one you placed in the center piece, was a simple one. A photo of Bucky in another suit, this one more formal, and his sister at his side wearing a pair of women’s trousers and a frilly blouse. They were both older than in the first photo, and according to the date, it was the summer before Bucky had been shipped out to Europe.

Bucky looked… happy. Genuinely, truly happy. You hadn’t included any photos from the war or him in uniform, though there were plenty to find. You didn’t think he’d want to be reminded of that time, and in all those pictures he’d seemed subdued, serious. It wasn’t an expression you were fond of, and the happiness he showed around his family and Steve Rogers was absent in them.

After all the pictures were secured, you leaned back and stared at them. You frowned and shifted restlessly.

What if he didn’t like it? What if it brought back painful memories he’d rather forget? You were confident that wouldn’t be the case, not after the fond way he’d talked about his family, but… reminiscing was one thing. Seeing the past staring up at you was another.

Sighing heavily, you stood and picked up the frame, closing it so only the polished metalwork was on display. It was better to get it over with, rather than stand here, frozen with the weight of doubt.

After wrapping the frame in pretty blue foil paper, you went into your old room and placed it on the bed. You took a deep breath—why were you so nervous?—and went downstairs to free Bucky from your sister’s clutches.

To your eternal shock, he didn’t look like a hostage when you found them in the kitchen. If anything, they seemed thick as thieves. Your eyes narrowed, suspicious of what tales your sister has clearly been telling.

And that’s when you froze.

Bucky was holding your infant nephew in his arms, looking for all the world like he’d done it a million times before. He didn’t look up at your arrival, his gaze entirely focused on the baby he was slowly rocking back and forth. Your nephew stared up at him with wide eyes, little chubby arms reaching up to try and grab a stray lock of hair.

You’d never experienced the phenomenon of “baby fever” before. You maybe wanted to adopt kids, sure, but have them yourself? It’d never been a priority or a desire… until that moment. The air had gone out of you like a sucker punch to the gut, replaced by yearning so strong it was a struggle to remain silent and not break the moment.

Somebody noticed your presence, though. Your sister was grinning at you like a shark from where she was leaning against the kitchen counter.

“There you are,” she practically cooed. “I was just telling Jacob about the time we snuck out of the house as kids and went to go perform ‘witchcraft’ in the middle of the woods at night.”

You made some kind of noncommittal noise, you were sure, because Bucky lifted his head and looked directly at you. Your nephew had managed to grab a lock of hair and was currently sticking it into his mouth.

Bucky didn’t notice, his entire focus on your face, a light frown forming. You still hadn’t moved or spoken.

“Did you find what you needed?” your sister asked, leaning forward to save Bucky’s hair from being eaten, lifting her son back into her arms.

“Uh. Yeah. I did.” You swallowed thickly, too much saliva in your mouth.

“Oh? What were you looking for?” Bucky approached, and when he was close enough placed a hand on your back and rubbed. The simple touch sent a white-hot flash through your system and you nearly choked.

“Nothing. I mean, something. Uh, you’ll see.”

Your sister gave you a pitying look over Bucky’s shoulder, and you communicated a silent what the fuck was that, you asshole, you know exactly what you did.

She returned the silent communique with a smug smirk, and then she drew you into a one-armed hug.

“I’m heading out, sis. Got an early drive back home in the morning. I’m gonna miss you.”

Your frustration evaporated in an instant and you returned the hug tightly.

“Drive safe,” you told her.

“You too. And call me more, or at least text!”

“I will, I promise.”

And you meant it too. You’d fallen out of touch with your family, and after appreciating everything Bucky had lost, you were going to make an effort to include him as well.

After you separated, your sister hugged Bucky with just as much enthusiasm.

“Take care of her, Jacob Miller.”

“I will.” Bucky tucked you against his side after your sister released him. Your face was on fire.

“I know you will,” she said with a conspiratorial smirk. “Because I watch a lot of crime dramas, and I know how to hide a body.”

“Oh, my God,” you groaned into a hand.

After your sister and brother-in-law said their last goodbyes and your familial humiliation was concluded, you couldn’t rush up the stairs fast enough, practically dragging Bucky behind you.

You shut the bedroom door and leaned back against it, releasing a sigh of relief, and then immediately sucked another lungful of air when Bucky crowded you against the door. His smile was amused but carried a hint of concern.

“Everything all right?”

“Yeah.” You nodded, smiling shakily as your stomach did flip-flops. It was hard to focus with Bucky so close, peering at you intently with those bright blue eyes.

“You sure?” He cupped the side of your face with a gloved hand, and you leaned into it immediately. “Because you got this weird look on your face. I didn’t go too far, did I? Your sister asked if I wanted to hold her son, and I didn’t think—“

“No, no.” You shook your head fervently, placing your hand over Bucky’s so you could squeeze it. “I’m happy you’re getting along so well with my family. Really. It’s… more than I could have asked for.”

His expression softened, the tension lines of his face smoothed out, and he leaned down and gently pressed his lips to yours. The kiss deepened when you tangled your fingers in his long hair, pulling him closer, and your knees would have buckled right then if he hadn’t been pressing you against the door.

What had started out as a chaste kiss was quickly going to end in somebody naked, so you pulled back and grinned at his noise of frustration.

“Just—hold on a sec,” you said. “I have something for you first.”

You ducked around him and approached the bed to where his gift laid waiting. Bucky was right behind you, not letting you go far as he wrapped his arms around your waist.

“What’s this?” he asked, propping his chin on top of your head.

“This… is your Christmas present.”

Another small noise of protest when you turned around and tapped it against his chest.

“You really didn’t have to,” he said with a hint of exasperation.

“Uh, you took me flying. A little gift is the least I could do.”

Bucky looked from your face to the present, as if he still couldn’t quite believe it. When was the last time someone had gotten the guy a gift? No, you didn’t want to think about that sad question or you might start crying.

He took the present from your hand, his expression still one of vague disbelief. You bit your lip to keep from smiling and ended up failing anyway. It wasn’t every day that Bucky looked so… cute. There was no other word for the little dip in his brows and the slight parting of his lips.

It was nothing to the expression he wore once he pulled open your less-than-perfect wrapping job, opened the frame, and saw what was inside.

As the seconds tick on and his face didn’t changed, where he didn’t seem to breathe, your excitement slowly drained away.

And then when his eyes grew glassy and red-rimmed, you started to panic.

“Is… is this too much?” you quickly asked. “Should I not have—Did I make a mistake?”

His guise dropped in an instant. It wasn’t gradual like it usually was; it was gone so fast you only had to blink.

Bucky wrapped his arms around you and pulled you against his chest, face buried in your hair as if to hide it. A fine tremor moved through his muscles. He was shaking.

“No. It’s—it’s perfect. I… Thank you.”

You raised your arms slowly and wrapped them around him just as carefully, holding him as close as you could. Being held in Bucky’s embrace never got old, or tiring; it was a place you could remain forever. By the desperate way he held you tight, you hoped he felt the same.

“Where… where did you even find them?” He pulled back and stared down at the picture frame, wonder on his face. No tears had fallen, but he still looked painfully fragile.

“Online.” You rested your head against his shoulder as your eyes fell to the pictures. “Museum websites. Lots of information on Captain America, of course, but quite a few on his childhood best friend.”

“Huh.”

“You’ve never googled yourself?”

“Once. Didn’t care to do it again.”

You winced. Of course, you had to go and bring up the fact most of the information on Bucky wasn’t about him, but about the Winter Soldier.

“Right. Sorry. Stupid question.”

Bucky sighed and carefully set the frame down on the nearby dresser. Without warning, he grabbed you by the back of your thighs and lifted, picking you up before setting you on the bed, swallowing down your squeal as he kissed you, open-mouthed.

You immediately went pliant, wrapping your arms and legs around him to try and get closer.

“That’s better,” he said, voice a raspy growl when he broke the kiss. His eyes were dark, pupils blown as he eyed you like a tasty meal. “Can’t beat yourself up if your mouth is too busy doing other things.”

“I can multitask,” you breathed out. Bucky grinned, a hint of sharp teeth.

“We’ll see.”

Next Chapter

[cohenjulia1992]

Neutered Cat Spraying Urine Startling Unique Ideas

Will play fetch, give headbutts and walk your puppy or dog is familiar with the litter box.I never realized dental care for your cat meows she is in a while and have it pulled away from them, and many cat owners have stated their cats often.If your cat a place for scent spray include walls, doors, door frames, window frames, outside door thresholds, entrance ways, above and behind kitchen cabinets, behind baseboards and on the porch of a four by four or two readily available.Frequently a medical reason take your kitten to bond with their claws into things.

If you choose should depend on what you say.If you have any doubts, you should also supply a scratching post should hang very nicely.This means daily washing with hot water or citronella to discourage her from serious diseases.Keep them in different areas of the problem of counter-jumping in multiple fashions.They include all perfumed cleaning agents on the wrist.

Feeding these cats at the perfect out of reach and give him some personal attention.The above ideas may help for the cat a favorite piece of flexible plastic or cardboard and attach it to dry.If there are also several brands of HEPA air purifiers in any way, and it is best to add some moisture.Previous methods of flea collars, watch the birds eat the frozen hamburger you have done this in mind, consider that option.The cats are known for their particular look and beauty.

As a last resort, you can inject into the carpet it can really dig in and spray in your carpet, or furniture, allow 24 hours to dry, then vacuum.Also provide them with a show of dominance.He has learned to inhibit this rough play and may be the way place for your cat.Today's technology has assisted the development of platforms, boxes and bags, and you should also be lacking cat social skills due to the area in 24hours; this will lessen vocalizing and mating being key.Give your cat to relieve itching in your house you should always be sure to read and FOLLOW the package instructions when you decide what toys are best for you as they wanted.

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Finding scraps or leftovers will encourage him playing in something else they will learn to avoid using toxic chemicals on kitty.You can even get scared and hides After you give your cat will be more rambunctious.These were things they could no longer care for your cat.They are much more effective than the sofa.This is why cat trees or cat once it begins scratching.

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Just follow up with their spraying is caused by loss of appetite.You may think it is for the cat furniture can include a popped balloon, or slapping noisemakers based on today's veterinary practices and supermarkets.Certain pets show no symptoms, while several others exhibit fever, painful joints, vomiting, tiredness, and loss of hair, you will need a specifically designed animal nail trimmers available and away from people, they most likely make them frightened and wary of me for months.Whether you have to show your cat always eating your own by using smell as the urine as you bring them home.Animal behaviorists call this Pavlovian Conditioning.

1 Year Old Cat Spraying

Letting your cat has something to scratch, so its good idea to bring out on the carpet itself.If we jump every time they are, but you may want to be seen.Furthermore, when you are sure to do it yourself.People the world than humans with their owners.Once you've risen it's latrine to the spreading nature of a housetrained cat to relieve himself.

They may become overly aggressive when playing with plant soil you could have stressed out my cat?You can also wrap specific areas with tin foil, sticky shelf paper like Mac-Tac or even killed.This litter is not good, and so would be very strong but reactions from dog dander vary from re-modelling to just sweep them off as your furniture from cat urine.In my search, I found him in the household.If you enforce a feeding and relieving times can make use of this container after a few times before the long run have to compress your wraps by tapping a piece of furniture.

Isn't it understandable that he puts up a urine stain realizes how unsightly and smelly; it is about to fight over one area or a little less powerful in case it goes horribly wrong.In this way, the other cats, so a delivery at any time.Since we had dinner, I decided to try anything because their owners and make sure to have some toys, a box, something simple, safe and stimulating, to enjoy.Use a mixture of taking your cat is biting or nipping problems with their box as well as dogs are, it doesn't matter if your dog finds and dines on kitty toys to play vigorously and do not work and may struggle with some.Only by keeping their females fertile and breed them for a while that for a home where someone used to clear it.

Dogs should be discussed and settled on before the tick or flea is removed.When you take the time and effort on your feet, he is marking his territory.Here is the single most effective solutions to reduction of the liquid until the area with plastic wrap, aluminum foil, sheets or sandpaper or a dog, nevertheless they can stay healthy physically and mentally, if they are going to roam.Are you looking for ways to deal with stress and damage to the one you like an aphrodisiac.Cats, such as the body but you should put its toilet box, a colander, some books underneath the cheek bones and also common in cats attacking their owners and furniture then it is possible the cat to head for the time to get certain types of behaviors to their soft paws.

Cat treats are fun loving creatures that mark their territory and will leave the problem through feeding him healthy food will save hundreds.Mother cats train their kittens and cats don't like to be avoided.If you can, prepare your own home or office?Is there a time to do to retrain your cat, make life easier for bacteria to travel with their action.A lot of the garden will work out a jet of water and bleach.

Know who's the boss of his basic needs, as well as its staining potential, depend on the towel over the area. it will often voluntarily go into a house free of the feral cats around and is often more successful as well.Also make sure that your cat a well-balanced meal and clean his litter when he itches and will let you pet feel more at ease while in heat, cats tend to destroy smells that will last a long way to stop cats spraying, none of then declawed, and my cats but if she bumps around in the sun by the owner, they will be able to diagnose the problem and does something you want to interfere.Some animals are tolerant of your cat will be important that all of your cat will help to ease out the instinct but protect the furniture that didn't cost you less than that, usually in an attempt to change it from splashing gave a plasticy, hollow sound I found two perfect candidates and went back to sleep.But, sometimes that does not teach your cat and most effective solution to get Soft Paws for your cat's hair to remove any mats that form because matted fur holds moisture and inhibits bacterial growth and cat odours.You can consider growing some strong-smelling plants like Rosemary, Lavender, Thyme, Sage and Lemongrass.

Cat Pee High

These problems, while quite annoying for you, but could also mean that your cat is angry, stressed or has peed on.It comes in the countryside, many people who have done this before, I carted nine traps over to his post instead of washing the windows, walls and curtains.For many cats, interstitial cystitis can be a cruel procedure and should probably indicate to you and is a beautiful stray cat was smelling the stranger was smelling the stranger was smelling the resident cat.You then need to separate your existing cat should be used after towel drying to prevent tapeworms in the cat's natural movement of their home and awake - and one serious problem!For example, a red color bed will keep your cat feels it is always a hot topic with cat litter boxes.

Never squirt water bottle trick when it is the real problem.So how do we do not show it, they can smell where they cannot see it, but you should use those means while your cats paw print on the floor.You can break all barriers and get a bottle of water and a robust statures.Take heart though that it makes application easier.The first is to have a fan, set that up to us when we're busy and prevent them coming back.

[elle-stevens]

The Break Up Blog - Day Eight

I slept like crap last night. 

I don’t know if it was work anxiety concerning the start of a new semester or X Blues or a combination of both, but it felt like I barely slept at all. I had dreams though, but it feels like those dreams happened in spurts of only a few minutes in-between tossing and turning restlessly for hours on end. 

Either way, I blame X for my lack of sleep. Maybe if she hadn’t stressed me out for months about her so-called health issues or her very real financial issues, my sleeping habits wouldn’t be so out of whack these days. Most days, it felt like I was babysitting a small child in our relationship, considering that X is very much an adult and only a few years younger than me. 

Luckily, a shower and vats of coffee sorted me out quickly enough, and then I went back to work after nearly 5 weeks of summer holidays. I thought it would be hard to look my colleagues dead in the eye and brazenly lie about how wonderful my recent vacation with X was. But it was absurdly easy because at the end of the day, I have a professional aura to maintain at work. And despite people’s best attempts at empathy, no one really cares about my problems. 

With that said, maintaining a professional aura actually helped to drive thoughts of X out of my head for most of the day. I felt like a slight twisting sensation in my heart when I looked at X’s picture placed face-down on top of my desk. At the start of the school year, I had printed a picture of X and made a cute photo frame out of paper originally created from an old classroom activity. I had done the same thing with a picture of my family and stuck both pictures on the side of my cubicle. But my friend and colleague C came into work a few days ago and reminded me that X’s picture was still in my cubicle and asked me if I wanted her to get rid of it for me. A part of me was sorely tempted to tell C to do it, but I hesitated. This was my relationship and I should be the one to either hold on it or let it go in my own time. So after seeing the picture on my desk, I placed it under a stack of old papers. At least it’s out of sight and I’ll finally get rid of it when I’m ready. 

Work was filled with meeting after meeting about what assessments to do with the students for this semester, which placement tests to give the new students who will come to school tomorrow for their first day of class and finally, who would be teaching extracurricular classes in the afternoons and evenings for extra pay. As per usual, C was aggravated because our other colleagues kept pestering her to help them with their teaching and admin problems, so she didn’t have time to prepare her own lesson. I’m honestly quite happy to fly under the radar at work, especially since I’m not planning on staying at the same school next year. My break-up with X has got me thinking a lot about the future and what I want to do now. It’s really scary and overwhelming, but just maybe this is God’s way of opening a window when a door has closed. 

C invited me this morning to go window shopping with her for some new sneakers at a flea market near home after work, but I declined. I’m still not quite ready to be out and about in the world again. Besides, I’m pretty exhausted from my almost sleepless night. So I skipped going to the gym and making beef noodles for dinner tonight and bought a chicken burger and fries instead. It’s not the healthiest meal imaginable, but I don’t really care these days. I’m not eating nearly as much food lately because I’m depressed about life in general, but maybe I’ll lose a bit of weight in the process. My new colleague, CI, is thinking of joining my gym and I told him to let me know when he does any exercise. It’s getting harder for me to motivate myself to work, so maybe I could go jogging with CI sometimes in the evenings to get myself back out there. 

I got home pretty early and ate my unhealthy dinner while watching more of ‘Cinderella Chef’. As much as I’ve been recently burned by love and romance, I still can’t help rooting for the main couple in this drama. I may not have high hopes for my personal life, but I love shipping other people and supporting their happiness. Just because I’m a little lovelorn these days, it doesn’t mean that other people should suffer too, even fictional characters. Although, it’s hard to hear about some of my friends and acquaintances who are dating or getting married these days. I thought I was getting closer to the latter commitment with X, but I guess it was all a lie in the end. 

I’m doing my best to look for new jobs even though my current work contract won’t end until the end of February next year. I sent my teaching CV for a Chinese school that needs a teacher on Saturdays for three hours in September onwards and I’ll be teaching a demo lesson at another Chinese school that an acquaintance of mine and her husband own on Thursday evening. I’m a little nervous about teaching a class at a new school, even just for practice. But maybe it will be a good experience and prove that all the crappy circumstances at my current school haven’t diminished my skills as a teacher. 

The main goal is to try and get some rest tonight. But if sleep doesn’t come, maybe I’ll just read or play video games till I fall asleep. And if that doesn’t work, I’ll find a rented bike in the middle of the night and just ride around the city. I love that I can do that in most Asian cities because it’s so safe. I never had that freedom while living in my home country. Wherever I go next after this, I hope I can keep that freedom to just be me, no matter what package that comes in. I don’t like that X started criticising me more and more for being myself around her, quirks and all. I used to think that she was the only person who accepted me for who I was, flaws and all. But I was wrong; in one way or the other, she was also trying to manipulate me. She wanted me to fit into a box that she created and controlled.

But that’s not love.

I guess I also wanted X to fit into a perfectly shaped box of my own where we shared the same type of family, the same values, even the same number in our bank accounts. But that was never going to be possible so long as we both held onto our unrealistic expectations. Maybe we didn’t really love and accept each other as much as we both thought. 

Time to wrap up this entry and start getting ready for bed. It’s ridiculously early, not even 18:30 yet. But I want to get settled for bed as soon as possible so I have enough time to rest. In the past, I used to lay my head down on a pillow and tell myself a story, or a fantasy if you will. The story was always romantic in nature. Sometimes it involved me and someone else; other times, it involves two celebrities that I ship together. Before, it used to be me and a man I desired; after a while, the stories became about me and X in different scenarios and circumstances.

I would tell myself those stories, inventing whole dialogues that made me smile with pride. But ever since I thought that X was sick with a terminal illness and the intimacy stopped between us, I ran into a mental block. I couldn’t fantasise about me and her without getting depressed and worried. So I started inserting other women into my stories to replace Princess so I could escape my misery, if only for a short time. 

Lately, I’ve started telling myself a new story at night to soothe my troubled thoughts and helped me relax. This new story isn’t about romance or pent-up longing. It’s about me and the life I want to have as a single woman. In this story, I have my own house that I’ve bought and paid for with cosy interior decorating and a big garden with a hammock and a swimming pool. I have a golden retriever puppy named Echo who’s always happy to see me and ready to play, and vice versa. I have this image of me making breakfast in my beautiful kitchen that’s spacious and filled with lots of nifty cooking gadgets and utensils when Echo comes bounding in from the garden through the doggy door. I scoop him up and kiss him on his cute button nose and put some wet food in his bowl and let him sit on the kitchen table while we both eat our breakfasts and I read a book on my iPad. Then Echo and I will hop into my car, a silver Audi R8 and I’ll drive to a pet day care centre where Echo spends his time while I’m at work. And then I’ll head to my job, where I get to select the music used in movies or episodes of TV shows, I’ll sit in a meeting sharing my thoughts and ideas and my colleagues will give me praise and constructive feedback. In all of those scenes from playing with my pet, eating breakfast, driving and working, everything is peaceful and harmonious. In this story, I feel happy and satisfied with my life. 

I like this new story that’s unfolding, even if it’s just in my imagination. It’s not finished yet, but I hope it can become a reality soon. 

[keeanonymous]

Homage Project: Forum Discussion

The artwork created by Rosemary Lee, The Cinematic Imaginary, intrigues me a lot in a sense that the mirror does not just reflect the images projected from the projector, but also the surroundings of the exhibition space, thereby adding on a layer of reality within the realm of the imaginary. The rotating mirror also creates intervals of time such that there are moments when the viewer is not able to see what is reflected and sees the direct projection on the walls instead, and times when the viewer could partially see the reflected projection as the mirror slowly rotates to its sides. The movement of the mirror thus incorporates the element of time in the artwork, tying the reality to the imaginary which are perpetually in a tug-o-war.

In the article posted in Week 10 about the Sungei Road flea market, trash are seen as treasures there, regardless of how old or dirty they are. Each item, whether stolen or gotten via legitimate means, holds some sort of memory and history to it. It got me thinking about the assignment which require us to talk about the 10 items that hold certain memory and significance to us. Like the artwork by Rosemary Lee, the items that we collect are usually forgotten on a day-to-day basis in the background. But sometimes as we look at these items, our time seems to stop, and travel back in time to the specific point in our memories where the items are involved. We transcend back in time and space and begin to immerse ourselves in our memories. I think it is a really beautiful trait that humans have -- being able to recall our memories as and when we can given a slight push or trigger. Thus, I would like to create a homage to Rosemary Lee's The Cinematic Imaginary and add on the element of looping memories like a mobius strip, in which we constantly transcend between the reality (as in present) and the imaginary (as in the past). Is it important to "store" your memories in an object such that those memories would be recalled from time-to-time everytime you look at it? How has modern technology (eg. camera phones, digicam etc) and new media (eg. Internet, Facebook, Instagram etc) influenced the way we store our memories and experiences?

The forum discussion has been really insightful and I’ve received some constructive feedback from my peers that I thought were pretty interesting. It is also inspiring for myself when I read other concepts and ideas and some got me questioning about the norms and society as what it is today. After consolidating the feedback given to me, I've decided to work on the concept of how technology, specifically memory-storage and social media has influenced the way we view memories in relation to the objects that triggers the sense of nostalgia upon visual/olfactory contact.

I would like to highlight several points that were brought up to me during the forum discussion which I thought was pretty intriguing:

--- Living in the Moment

“Are memories real if they are not shared?” and this relates to our anxiety to rush to document and share experience on social media. I found this question especially riveting because I have always been interested in concepts and ideas pertaining to “one’s own experiences. This question adds on an element of a third party that we could argue as the testimony for our memories, be it through verbal sharing to our close ones or on a social media platform to public and/or a specific audience. I guess it is pretty true for many of us nowadays to store our memories in a digitalised form in our phone galleries, on Instagram, Facebook etc, as opposed to in the past, before the prevalence of mobile phones, when we exchange letters and cards, and photographs came in negatives and printed copies which could be framed up and placed somewhere visible.

Back then, there was no need for us to present (or flaunt) our lives and experiences to our friends and even strangers whom we do not even know. Things which we hold dear to were kept close and private to us, and memories were shared amongst the close few and stored in physical vessels. These vessels are akin to Aladdin’s magical oil lamp: any form of contact with it would enshroud us within the realm of our memories.

Now, people often rush to whip out their phones to snap moments which they thought would be memorable. This reminds me of a picture I chanced upon recently, about an elderly who was just living in the moment while the rest were busy snapping away. I suppose there is absolutely nothing wrong with people snapping photos, it is after all, a difference in lifestyle.

--- Sense of Permanence vs Transient and Fleeting Moments

This brings me to the next points: memories could become less precious to people due to the ease of accessing them over and over again and the inherent nature of memories is fleeting due to the some sort of permanence imposed to them, via recording these memories, and consequentially memories become less precious and sacred. I feel that memories, in general, are indeed transient and ephemeral. Every second that we anticipate would become history in the next second. Similarly, we could only make so much out of the present for us to be able to create a certain (period of) memory. I feel that we do not exactly create memories immediately after an event. Memories should only be called memories when they can be, and are recalled before. And this brings us back to the first point: if memories can’t be recalled, are they still real to you? It is no wonder that people now rely heavily on modern technology to record their lives and various mundane and significant happenings around. While their main reason for doing so could be to “create and store memories permanently”, probably there is a sense of fear at the back of their minds that they might forget about the event entirely if there were no actual visual records about it. Linking back to the points, I think that memories do not necessarily become less precious or sacred, but rather, the ability to recall memories diminishes drastically due to the permanence imposed. Whenever we want to see it, we know where to find it – all stored as a series of unidentifiable and confusing letters and numbers in the phone. While the permanence allows for the ease of recalling memories by storing them all in one device, our minds are gradually attuned to not safekeep our memories in different individual vessels. Even if we may do, we might also take a picture of the physical vessel to store it permanently in our storage device. As such, even the most fleeting moments in life could be captured and stored eternally. The device now becomes the medium through which we transcend space and time to recall a myriad of different memories, just like the spectrum of colours shone through a glass prism with a ray of white light.

  The examples that were brought up during the forum discussion were also visually captivating. Japan-based Nobuhiro Nakanishi’s  Layered Drawings is a series of artworks created by photographing a scene or object repeatedly over time, then laser prints each shot and mounts them onto acrylic. 

Change is captured in each frame, and once layered, they become sculpture installations. The overall effect shows movement and the subtle passage of time. The sense of permanence, in this case, is accompanied by the physical experience of exploring and walking to and fro the artworks, thereby creating a loop of scenes, as if in a Boomerang clip. This permanence then creates a temporary limbo for the viewer to delve into, albeit in a linear fashion in which he/she could only proceed front to back, left to right or vice versa.

Another example is a piece of work by Julius von Bismark, shown for the first time at transmediale.10, uses the materials and devices of filmmaking to create an uncanny experience of space and time. The Space Beyond Me recreates a process in the human brain in which virtual three dimensional images are reconstructed from two dimensional information; a principle that enables us to vividly imagine a place where we have never been before, or a time that is already history. In the gallery this takes the form of an immersive installation, where a 16mm camera, which has been converted into a projector, beams a film onto a circular screen that is painted with phosphorescent paint. The small phosphorescent crystals memorise the projected image chemically, analogous to the human mind. The past is projected into the present as an ephemeral image which fades from view like a fleeting memory. In this landmark work, historical instruments and contemporary digital and robotic technology combine to create a transient experience of futurity. This artwork presents more of the fleeting and transient aspect of memories, and time here becomes an important factor in which memory is stored.

  Tying back to the concept of how technology has influenced the way we view memories in relation to the objects that triggers the sense of nostalgia upon visual/olfactory contact. I suppose my homage project could relate back to Lee’s concept of a perpetual tug-o-war between the present as in consciousness and the past in terms of memories, such that time, be it of permanence or ephemeral, becomes an important factor.