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solacekames · 6 years

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This account sounds very credible to me. A few observations:

This guy hasn’t atoned for his actions, and probably never will due to his privilege as a white guy to just fade away from activism, but he’s at least acknowledged his lack of morality with some degree of honesty.

Once you leave a far right organization, your greatest danger is not leftists or antifa, who don’t care about you anymore, it’s your own ex-buddies coming to stab you. That’s why he’s kept the dirt on them, obviously. Smart move.

A lot of alt righters in the comments are claiming this is fake because he calls their movement “white supremacy,” which is a term they dislike because it makes them seem older, like Boomers instead of the millenials and Gen Z that they are. But "white supremacy” is still the mainstream word for it, and once people leave their cults and abandon the jargon, they’re going to start using the mainstream words again.

Here it is. Warning for misogyny, racism, anti-semitism, suicide and general Nazism.

So I actually intended to post this to a confession sub, but it seems it automatically triggers the spam filters. I typed up my full "story" here. As far as proof goes, I don't really have much to offer as I've burned most of my materials, but I do have this video from the night before the rally that might help set the stage of what I was involved in.

https://streamable.com/3lrrw

So this is so something I've had mulling in my head for some time now and I just really wanted to get my thoughts out there. I feel like it would be healthier. Throwaway for obvious reasons.

I am a former white supremacist who helped organize the Charlotessville rally. My actions have destroyed the lives of countless people and lead to the death of a young woman.

I suppose I should start from the beginning so there is a little better context about my involvement. My beginnings as a white supremacist began a few years back when I first stumbled upon a podcast called “The Daily Shoah”. For those who don't know, this is probobly the largest alt-right podcast out there, run by Mike Penovich and Jesse Dunstan (better known as Mike Enoch and Seventh Son) of “therightstuff.biz”. At first, I didn't even take what was being said to heart. It was mostly just dark entertainment, but after having their words filling my ears for hours at a time every week, I began to actually take what they were saying to heart. I think when a lot of people imagine what turns people into white supremacist, they think of a middle aged bike gang member bruning crosses, but I was just a young college student who thought the N word was funny. It took a few weeks, but I soon internalized their arguments. The problem with having multiple podcasts drowning out the outside world is essentially you get hours and hours of pure confirmation bias filling your head with nobody to talk about these things with. Knowing your life would be over if you discussed these things with your real friends and families, you quickly just st art ignoring them in favor of other white supremacists. Most of the other people who I began consorting with were not at all the sterotype I mentioned before. Like me, they were mostly just well spoken young guys looking for others to talk about these things with. Of course “these things” were ethno-nationalism, gas chambers, and holocaust memes.

At the time, the alt-right was not really known to anyone, and their antics mostly just stayed to trolling the comment sections of National Review. I quickly gained a foothold in that community. About a year in or so, they began what they would call “Standard Pool Parties” and I became an organizer for my area. My group of fellow white supremacists grew and my sphere of outsider friends shrank. We had begun to look like a real community.

Around the end of 2016, the even that really sprung our clique into the mainstream occurred, and I was in attendance. This was the “NPI” conference in DC run by Richard Spencer, and we were celebrating the recent election (short note: I don't want to bring politics into this if possible, its just important for the context here). Multiple news outlets were in attendance filming, and near the time Richard was set to give his speech, the liquor was flowing and the attitude was festive. Before the speech, Mike Enoch got up in front of the crowed and began leading chants of various kinds, the kind of chants that would get a 1940s German soldier giddy. By the time Richard gave his “Hail Trump and Hail Victory” line, the crowd didn't stand a chance. They were all too ready to throw up Nazi salutes, and the cameras were all too happy to capture them.

A short aside on Richard: I had worked with him a few times and only one word can begin to describe him: sociopath. He seemed to take joy in leading around particularly young men and building up his little cabal. He would say anything for a camera to be shoved in his face and used his status among of the alt right to sleep with the few women it had. He never showed any remorse for the kids that would be doxxed and become unemployable, in fact he encouraged it on multiple occasions. I was one of those people who he encouraged to self-doxx, and I myself help multiple kids ruin their lives. More on that later.

So now I can start telling the story of Charlotessville. A few months before the “Unite the Right” rally most of you know about, there was a more private rally held at Charlotessville. This event was organized by a particularly vile individual who goes by “Eli Mosley”, someone who would brag about killing children in the military among many of disgraceful actions. Those aren't the worse of his sins, but out of respect for his largest victim I'll leave that out. Of course, this is someone I looked up to. This particular Charlotessville event was relatively uneventful, which is why you never heard about it. However, these was a particular Daily Caller journalist in the audience named “Jason Kessler”, a Charlotessville native. In the weeks following the event, he announced he was going to lead a larger event, and event that would be known as “Unite the Right”. He did this unilaterally, and in fact Eli himself detested the fact that this event was going to happen at all, but it proceeded. I was one of those excited to put this rally on, and as such took up an organizing role.

It was the months leading up to the event that multiple red flags began to go off. The number one issue that was likely responsible for the death of Heather Heyer was the approach to security. Everyone, and I mean everyone, was looking forward to a fight with antifa and would use any and all justifications for the use of weapons and armor at the event. The police had promised us proper protections, but the head of security (who went by “Ajax”) insisted we build our own shield wall. It was my bright idea to literally use a Roman Phylanx formation to surround the event, like the Larpers we were. This is where a lot of disagreement amoung different cliques and organizations came about. There were three main groups in attendance: American Vanguard, Identity Evropa, and Traditionalist Workers Party. I won't say who I was affiliated with.

American Vanguard was preparing for war. They wanted to burn a large jewish ephagy, as well as a pride flag. They also were planning fights and battle stratageys on their own before the event. James Fields was with American Vanguard the entire event, but they deny that he was a member. They were the ones responsible for the “Blood and Soil” chants most of you had heard. Here is a picture of them before the rally

https://i.imgur.com/77VHOOe.png

Identity Evropa could be said to be the more moderate of the bunch. In fact, before the event, Nathan Damigo (their leader) had told individual members NOT to bring any shields, helmets, or weapons. He was promptly called a cuck and eventually undid the descision. Traditionalist Workers party could be said to worst of the bunch, because they were the ones that invited the “National Socialist Movement”, a group of straight up skinheads. Before, the event was only going to be 500 or so. With NSM invited, it swelled to well over a thousand.

With all of these problems evident, we continued with the event. By this time, I had a fairly large personal circle of associates who I had went with. The torchlight march is where things went bad. There was one guy who had caused trouble at previous events who made the decision to jump at protesters and start a fight. The following day, he did the same thing, and was likely responsible for the event being shut down. I don't know if I need to spend more time recounting the events that occurred, before you all know the rest. A riot ensued, and a young girl died. I watched her pictures played on the news as she was declared dead, and you know what? I felt no remorse. Nobody did. The “higher ups” as they were called, basically sent out a memo saying she was a “dumb cunt who got what she deserved”.

Why did this feel normal for me? Well it all comes back to how I came to become a white supremacist. By the time this event occurred, I associated with essentially nobody outside the alt right. When this woman died, we all just saw it as a “aww shucks” moment. In fact, Richard created a press conference where he tried to put together as much evidence as he could to show it was in self defense.

So why did I leave? In fact, it had little to do with Heather Heyer, but rather what I realized I had begun to do. The kind of encapsulation I had woven myself and others into was destroying out lives and we didn't even know it. I brought at least 7 people along with me whom I had personal gotten into radicalism. Kids as young as 17. We saw no problem with showing their faces out in the open because we assured ourselves that the alt-right was “going big”. I told these kids that Charlotessville would make history, and if their picture was taken and they were made unemployable, they could just be taken care of and before alt-right figures.

Thats what my best friend thought before his picture was taken, and he committed suicide a month later. He didn't want to go. I told him he would regret that decision for the rest of his life. Well his life didn't last long enough to regret it, so I was right.

This is the most dangerous thing about what radicalization does to people. In reality, the alt-right has had little effect, but it has encouraged countless people to essentially fall down a slipperly slope without even knowing they are doing it. Take the case of a young man named Nick Fuentes, a kid I had associated with in my time. He had a lot going for him. He was a 18 year old polysci student at Boston College. He had his own show on a burgeoning broadcast network. He was smart. He was going places. So what did our cabal do? We dragged him down to our level. He was mostly just a pro-trump talking head, but he was caught saying “Jews make my life worst” on camera. This is where most people would shut up, apologize, and rebuild. Well me, and many others, pressured him to double down, and double down he did. He became a prominent anti-semetic twitter personality, to the point where he was kicked out of his school and now lives alone in his mom's house. And like so many others who fall into radicalization, his small group of fans prop him up and assure him he has greatness ahead of him. At 19 years old, his entire life is over and he doesn't even realize it.

As for me, I know its sounds strange that I didn't say very much about my actual white supremacist beliefs. Oddly enough, after my best friend killed himself, I myself feel into depression. After some time, I managed to get back on my feet and start getting back to work on my actual life and school. As I started back toward bettering my life, my old beliefs just sort of feel away, as if I never had them. I cut all contact with the alt-right, and now it feels as if they didn't exist. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm not only responsible for the death of Heather Heyer, but my best friend, as well as my previous friends who find their lives in shambled

I confess because every day I feel like I'm living a lie trying to build a life for myself. I'm sure one day, when I have a career, the truth will come out and I'll have to answer for it. Until then, I hope I can be a warning sign for others who might fall into the trap I did, alt-right or not. Its not worth it.

Proof: As far as proof, I've gotten rid of most everything that would remind my of my past life, but I do have this video from the night before Charlotessville that I doubt you're going to find anywhere else.

EDIT: At someone else's suggestion I've copied the story into the text field.

#richard spencer #eli mosley #alt right #identity evropa #antifa #charlottesville

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exquisitelyeco · 6 years

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What Armour??.?

I don’t know about you. But Ephesians 6 has really had me confused, as well as a sight of hilariousness …new word….. meaning VERY amusing to the point of literally weeping……in heaven. Everyday…..well….not quite, literally physically pretending to put on the spiritual armour that Paul goes on about in Ephesians 6. Picking up the imaginary helmet and putting it on my head……etc.

And it meant nothing really. I didn’t have a blasted clue! Putting imaginary gear and believing that I was protected! And the bit, ‘For we struggle not against flesh and blood,……in verse 12! Whaaaat? Flesh and blood??! Why not just say human beings??? Now if I can’t see it, I don’t get it. Sorry. But I find that hard. I imagine demons as ghostly things, floating around venomously, whilst I wear this imaginary armour and worry about arrows being shot in my bottom where there isn’t any! Did you notice that? No trousers. So ones behind is rather vulnerable….

And I truly believed doing this worked. I thank God He makes us stand! Romans 14v4. Although I think He looked at me and said ‘Oh dear!’ you know the one……Any of you have kids? You are trying not to smile, but it’s so funny you have to go out of the room…..

When I was teaching, as a TA, I had to mark some year 2 spellings. The wee lambs had to spell the work ‘can’t’. Many of them had spelled it cunt……I was in bits. Thankfully the class didn’t notice…..I think God falls about laughing at some of the things I did and still do, trying to work it all out. But you know what? Just like we get Soooooo excited when our baby stands up or takes their first step, and tell EVERYBODY , I think He does that too! Look at Nic! I know her armour is a bit wonky, but LOOK! She’s trying to toddle, my baby girlie! Ahhhh…..I’m glad I gave her those angels though…..she REALLY needs ’em!

So. Back to this chapter. I bet even the poor Ephesians did what I did. Old Paul made it complicated. Why not make it plain? Have you noticed, the pastors say stuff and your left thinking ‘eh?’ I think I get it….or if your like me, thinking you HAVE got it. I will tell you a wee story, and you are NOT to laugh…My lady pastor, Susan, did a preach on forgiveness. And how damage happens to us if we do not eventually get to that place……of forgiveness that is……And she was talking about this damage and she said, about finding your keys to healing. So poor old me goes around for 10 YEARS thinking I had a key buried in my brain somewhere……until in another preach, she put it like this……..’ finding keys LIKE forgiveness’ and I went ‘Ohhhhhhhhhh! NOW I get it!’

A digression, I had my ex husband 1 in stitches thinking that petrol stations sucked petrol from streams deep in the earth…….I can be a bit like that……Or when I said to my sister, ‘That’s not a very nice name for pies, Puke-er pie’ , cos I did’nt know how to pronounce Pukka…..she nearly had a heart attack laughing….

So here I was, day after day, putting on imaginary armour, literally. Picking up a ‘imagined’ helmet and using my hands to stick it on my head etc. I was so worried about my bottom! I imagined extra armour……I kid you not…..

Hey! If the shoes WERE literal, could you wear high heels? I’ll stop now….

And it suddenly occurred to me just TODAY, as I sit here reading it, what it meant! AH HA! 30years and she gets it! O my goodness THIRTY years? I’m getting on! Anyway, cos I have had this AMAZING revelation I thought I’d share it with you!

I feel like a learned and holy guru right now…..smug and HUGE! Ahhhhh! Remember Nebechednezzer, Nick, concrete feet……

So.

Also, the bit about it’s not a flesh and blood struggle, flesh and blood – meaning humans. I’ll explain that first, cos it comes first! Flesh and blood. And Paul makes it clear that is NOT what we are fighting against. Neither does it mean going to the butcher shop. It means what is IN us. What our drives, or issues or besetting sins are, or in very plain English, what things we do that make us a pain in the arse to others and ourselves. The things we do that cause hurt and pain.

All sin hurts. And it’s THAT, that comes OUT of us. That is what Paul means. Out of the heart comes all evil. Matthew 15v19, Mark 7 v21. How do these things start? In our thoughts. We get them in, and if we KEEP listening to them, they grow in power. And eventually, if we do not deal with ’em, we act on them. They are first and foremost. Satan? Read my post on for the love of Lucifer. He actually comes last. Truly. We give him far to much attention.

Most of the stuff that sets us up to fall is in ourselves. Our pet hates, prides, lusts, damages etc. Like gossiping, swearing, sleeping around, bullying/bullied, lying, watching porn. Being petty. Then the heavier, murder, rape, burglary. All things that can totally destroy us and cause us to do things and act in ways that put God out of the centre of our attention and the sin in it.

Sin starts SPIRITUALLY (in the heart) but has PHYSICAL consequences, (ending in eternal death, if not sorted) is a good way of seeing it.

But also. Rulers of the darkness of the Age. Satan has Sergeants and Lieutenants, just like any army. Some have a little power, like over a shop or town, some have more, like a county or country. (Daniel 10v13)

Basically, these guys are like soldiers. They seek to detain and stop angels, like in the verse from Daniel, (mentioned above) from reaching Gods people and answering our prayers and aiding, or helping us. They also draw in and enslave people to keep them in darkness and their faces and hearts in chains, away from God. Porn is a very powerful weapon the enemy uses. It is like an addiction, and because the person often feels ashamed and hides it, it gives it more power. Always remember, secrecy is one of Satan’s and Sins most powerful weapons, hence, James 5v16. Confession merely means talking it out. Saying aloud what you have done or are struggling with. It breaks its power. It is not done to shame but to heal. Remember, there is now NO condemnation for us in Christ Jesus. Romans 8v1. Jesus knows we all have crap to sort out still. So don’t sweat the small stuff.

It is ultimately an illusion to think we can hide anything. Because in fact, according to God, the opposite will be true and will happen.Luke 12v 3 makes this very clear. Now you would think, Hey! God knows everything! He knows what I’m doing, so why the need to say it?! Yup. He does. But remember. God is about relationship, not principles. The principle states ‘God knows everything’ relationship states ‘Come and talk to me.’ As I have said before, God makes it clear, not only can we talk to Him and find mercy, never condemnation, Matthew 12v7,John 3v17, that we can actually argue with Him AND change His mind! Isaiah 43v26. The book of Jonah is a clear case of God changing His mind. Nineveh repented. God changed His mind and did not destroy them as He planned to do. The same as He did when He chose to save Noah and not wipe out every human as He intended. Genesis 6v7. Remember that! We can always talk to God.

He truly is a parent, a good parent. And like any good parent can be reasoned with, but for our best may not always agree with our argument. And now we get to the best bit. Our armour!

What truths did I glean? What facets did I see? Well, not a blasted imaginary helmet, I can tell you! Or a pair of iron pants!

First the pants. And no. There ain’t any! Literally and figuratively speaking…..Our bottoms are behind us. Yup. I KNOW that is obvious. But it goes deeper. A soldier does not face behind. They face in front. And as long as they are facing the right way, their bum is covered. So when we turn around, our bottom is a target for the enemy. So make sure you face God. Bit back to front, I know. But that’s the way it makes sense. To me at least. If you lose focus, the enemy is right up your arse in a matter of splitteth……..New word, meaning so damn quick, don’t do it, seconds!

The helmet. Which is our thinking! Paul tells us that we need to renew our minds which means changing our thinking. Changing it to what God says, not what the world says.Romans 12v2. So if you, like me, have lies you listen too, like ‘I’m stupid,’ or ‘I hate myself’ or ‘ I’m ugly’ or ‘ I’m a failure ‘ or ‘ I can do this on my OWN’ change that thinking. Cos that, my dearest, dearest beloveds, is Satan’s thinking. He loves us to have those little phrases. And another thing we do, thinking we are right and no body else is. And that’s butt talk. Literally. Pride cometh before a fall, or in the way I described it earlier, a boot up your arse, which will have you flat on your face in the shit. Don’t do it. By shit I mean your open to being deceived because of your pride. We can only hear God if we are in humility. We cannot hear Him if we have pride. Cos we have ear phones on. With ‘I’m the greatest, I am, I am!’ Playing. Remember who I AM is. Cos it ain’t us.

What is humility? Being open to finding you are wrong. And saying you are sorry, confessing it and changing it. And we can be proud about anything. Our interpretation of scripture, our own church and its doctrine, etc. I talk about unrighteousness pride here. That refuses to believe anyone else could be right. Of course you can be righteously proud of being part of a church! Just remember, your church can make mistakes and can get it wrong! And that your little denomination is part of the BODY of Christ and not a little hand or finger crawling along alone! You will die that way as you have no blood supply……

How do you know? If you are being humble that is………By being truthful about yourself and those around you. For example: Do you harbour anger or pain? If so, have you dealt with it? If not, you is open to being deceived. See my post about Ananias and Sapphira and the gift of discernment, should you want too. I go into much more detail.

The breastplate of righteousness. Guarding your heart. And what is in it. Being in right standing with God. Keeping short account of your sin. Or to put it another way, don’t let anything fester too long. Jesus told us, do not let the sun go down on your anger, cos if you do you give Satan a foot hold. Ephesians 4v26, sorry it was Paul. But I’m sure he heard it in good authority……God gives us a whole day to be pissed off. Sort it ‘afore bedtime! If you forget, or have issues with anger, be truthful and open. That way God can help you and you do not hinder yourself, or give the enemy more to work with than he already has!

Righteousness is us acting like Jesus as much as we can and letting the Holy Spirit work in us, by being open to change if we see we need too, or if somebody else helps us to see we need too. If it’s someone else, make sure you take it to God, and somebody you trust first. Not somebody that always agrees with you, but somebody who has the gift of discernment and is truthful. If you take it to somebody who always agrees with you, you could find you are both deceived cos you both feel the same way about not wanting to listen!

Belt of truth speaks for its self. Well it does now…..be open….to correction and truth. Do not tell lies. Do not listen to lies….like the friend who agrees with you cos you both like to gossip about one particular person all the time, for example. Or you both hate one church, cos your still pissed at how you were treated there and you know they don’t like that church either……always take truth you think is truth to God and be open for His interpretations, not just those of your pastor or the religious TV. Remember, Gods ways are NOT our ways, or possibly our pastors and friends……Isaiah 55v8-9. Ultimately we are ALL chosen AND redeemed because God said so. Not us. Even His grace in giving us the actual trust we have IN Him! Not even that comes from us! ( Ephesians 2v8) So God does what HE wants! Not us! Read my testimony of ‘ A God outside the box, A story of personal redemption’ if you dare. And I mean it. I’ll piss you off and drop a hint. God gave me my son when I was having an affair. Simple. Read it. It’s not blasphemy. It shows how God is not like we think He is. Honestly. Hold God’s hand and read it. Then if you disagree, that’s fine. But I tell you that is what happened.

Shoes of the gospel of peace. Literally, where ever you walk, where ever your feet stop, don’t gossip or slag down other churches or people. We are all Gods children and need to be one body, not like fingers and toes fighting each other! Romans 12v5. Learn to discern Gods body. And to do that, you need the belt of truth and breast plate of righteousness. Or in another’s famous words ‘ Know thy self’ cos if you don’t, you can be sure Satan does. And he will use it. So where ever you go do not slander. Do not profane or swear. I do. I have to keep saying sorry.

Make sure what come out of your mouth, where ever you are honours others and God. If you have an issue, only share it with someone who discerns. If you must talk to your friends about it, Deal with the anger and hate first! And say it in such a away you are not spreading dissention and poison, but just saying how it was. Don’t encourage gossip and backstabbing of another person or church. Remember, not only will we be judged by what we say, we will be judged by every careless word that comes out of our mouth. Matthew 12v36-37. If you know it will hurt, shut your gob! Unless it’s done in love. And humbly, cos if it ain’t, you is in danger of falling. Galatians 6v1. The same goes for all non Christians you know. If it ain’t nice, keep it to YOURSELF! We are to be God’s light and love, not spite and gossip and nastiness. What kind of Christ are we representing if we behave like that?

The shield of faith? That is merely the words that come out of our mouths. What does the bible say? Faith comes by HEARING, and hearing by the word of God! Romans 10v17. Also, Life and death is in the power of the tongue. Proverbs 18v21. Jesus said, ‘Tell the mountain to go into the sea! And if you believe it will’ Mark 1v23. It’s so obvious! How did God start? He SPOKE! ‘Light’ and there was light. Genesis 1v3. But it comes in two bits, not only must we speak it. We must trust it will happen. That is what believing is. That is what it meant when Paul talked about Faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of what we do not yet see. Hebrews 11v1. All that means is this. I’ll give you example. You have longed for a weekend away. Your partner has promised it. You KNOW it will happen cos he said he has sorted it, but you have not done it yet and he has kept the date a secret!

Think as God is that partner! You have made your request. And if it is in accordance to Gods will, for example, not out of selfishness or greed or envy, then you know He will do it. But God does not normally tell us when! That is faith. Trusting God for your ask! ASK Him, then TRUST Him to do it!

Really! These people who translate bibles! They don’t half make it complicated, don’t you think? Thank God the Source Himself is a Good Teacher. Thanks, God! I bet He don’t stand in a blasted pulpit. That’s half the blasted problem……If you’d just GET DOWN……

The verse goes on to say, about the shield of faith quenches all the fiery darts of the enemy. Ephesians 6v16. The bible tells us our mind is the devils play ground. Philippians 4 v8-20. So we are back to those thoughts! CHANGE bad thinking! Undo bad habits! Like smoking, being drunk, sleeping around. All things that give Satan a way in to hurting us. Know the bible! Satan does! And He uses it. That is why so many Christians backstab others. Because they have pride in the fact ‘their’ interpretation of the bible is correct and everyone else’s is cultish! You give the old dragon some ammo if you do that!

The bible CLEARLY states we DO NOT know God’s ways OR His thoughts! Isaiah 55v8-9. 1 Corinthians 13v12. Not only are His ways and thoughts unknown to us, they are so high we can NEVER fathom or work them out! Hence my testimony I mentioned earlier. God is NOT who we think He is! And as the bible IS JESUS, because Jesus IS literally the WORD, get used to surprises. Cos if you don’t, I am warning you now, you could be in for trouble! Stop thinking you or your pastor know it all. Cos none of us does. Not even Paul did. That is what he wrote 1 Corinthians 13v12!

So be open to change. Learn to discern, which means to recognise Gods voice and ways. Know the enemy, also means yourself! This life is a fight. Romans 7v15-20. Don’t be deceived. It ain’t all covered by blanket or conversion prayer, it’s growing up! Becoming a warrior in Christ’s army. Showing this world that Christ is and He has won their freedom and healing. Nowhere does it say it’s all done at conversion. It’s a battle. You WILL face trials and temptations 1 Peter 5v8, James 1v2, John 16v33. So these preachers who say otherwise, talk BOLLOCKS! This life is a fight, hence the blasted armour!!

So don’t be afraid. Jesus has already won. But get that armour on and Stand. Which means wait. With that armour on. In battle mode. Ephesians 6 v 13 Cos it’s when we stand, that God looks down and says ‘BRILLIANT! Look guys! My Son/daughter, standing, armour on. And waiting for me. They don’t see Me coming yet, but they blasted well believe it. Ha ha! That’s my son/daughter. Now let’s go kick Satan’s arse!’

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