#because who else but the doctor would put the fate of the universe on the shoulders of two children and realize much too late what a

[quietwingsinthesky]

i do love canon amy & rory but god, does some part of me wish they really had gone with the idea of the doctor picking up a child as a companion (and then later, that child’s best friend with a huge crush on her.) with the rest of the season really not changing at all, except now it’s amelia pond with an angel in her head killing her and lost alone in the woods. it’s little rory who dies and is forgotten and becomes a toy soldier. if this is going to be a fairy tale, then let it be one. children have never been safe in fairy tales.

[sabo-torao]

i'm very big on sabolaw because (to me) they just make sense. a whole lot of sense.

they both have their similarities in terms of backstory and lore: both of them saw the truth about the society they lived in at the age of 10, between the flames of a city, or part of a city, that they called home, and they both have lost an important figure in their life with whom they seeked freedom, and to whom they promised to keep their will alive, now living through their vows.

both sabo and law are in search of freedom. for sabo, it is more of an universal freedom, the freedom of the people before his own, even if it started as something he yearned for himself; for law, it's effectively a personal freedom, a freedom he wants to achieve for his own person, and for cora. but in order to achieve both of their goals and be free, they have to discover the truth about their world, and their lives. the true history.

checkered fate.

interestingly enough, in the manga sabo and law are described to both have a checkered fate; the five elders use this adjective to describe sabo's destiny, because he's surrounded by people with the moniker D, and law uses it to describe his own fate, when he decides he wants to seek out the meaning behind his name, and so discover the truth about the will of the D.

now, this is why i think sabo and law will end up working together, sooner or later. i know that law becoming an ally of the revolutionary army and/or linking up with sabo is a very popular theory and i'm so, SO glad it is! because it really makes sense, doesn't it?

sabo is destined to be involved with people with the initial D in their name, and was just now trusted with the task to deliver vivi and luffy the message that vivi is a D just like luffy is, making him even more involved than he already was with the clan and its descendants. on the other side, we have law, whose newly found objective is to find the truth behind his existence, thus uncovering the "true history", which will inevitably bring him closer to other "D"s and to those who always get mixed up with them.

if we add these bits of info to the whole imu situation...

imu is, most certainly, an immortal being, who became immortal thanks to the ability of the ope-ope no mi. ivankov literally SHOWS the fruit to sabo in chapter 1086!

and i mean, i doubt sabo still doesn't know who law is. he was in dressrosa, after all (also im so so so convinced sabo and law met sometime during the timeskip bc law saved luffy's life and iva was right there and how could sabo not know that was law who saved his little brother's life and how could he not go and thank law for what he did i mean- c'mon-) and he most likely knew about the alliance with luffy and everything else. so he should know that law is the wielder of the ope-ope no mi, and it would be obvious for him to seek law out in order to know more about the fruit's ability and find a counterattack to imu's (and, probably, the five elders') immortality. it would be so disappointing if after all these little hints they ended up never meeting. like, at all.

finally, sabo and law's dynamic would be soooo interesting!! sabo is similar to luffy in some ways, but he's also... completely different. i think law wouldn't lose his mind working with sabo, because yes, sabo is irresponsible and impulsive and a bit of a jerk- but he follows the plan, he's strategic, he's stealthy and logical, and he puts the success of the mission above everything else (that isn't luffy, of course). law can work splendidly with that. i also think they would have a very entertaining back-and-forth, both of them being as witty and blunt as they are. they would be equals, and have a very well balanced relationship. sabo is cheerful and kind, fiery and elegant, which is a good contrast to law's cold, serious demeanour, and heartless façade (because law cares just as much as sabo, he wants to help people just as much as him; he is a doctor, after all). also their devil fruits would work so well, so good together, it would be so cool- oda i'm begging you, please, let them be partners, please-

one piece gakuen and stampede showed us a bit of how their possible dynamic could work, and i pray day and night that we can have something like that in the main manga, too. i need it.

tl;dr: sabolaw is a very good pairing with a lot of potential that i hope will be explored in the story sometime in the future. please do consider them!!!

[johanna-swann]

The reason the Doctor and Jack can't travel together for more than an episode or so is that they're too similar and yet too different.

Two (nearly) immortal time travellers who love and lose and break, then put themselves back together over and over and over again.

They understand each other on a level nobody else ever could. Not even River, not even the Master. They both know so much about the universe, about humans, about what it feels like. The others can sympathise, can share parts of the experience, but they will never fully understand.

Jack and the Doctor think alike enough to understand the struggle of trying to do good in a universe that's full of horrors. They always do their best, they win some, they lose some. They've done bad things, have made decisions they regret. They don't think of themselves as good people.

There's two problems though, one in universe, one a little more meta.

In universe: They share a very similar fate and think mostly alike, but: Jack always carries a gun where the Doctor refuses to carry one. Basically, the Doctor could never stand to see children cry and Jack has sacrificed children by his own hand.

Also the Doctor as well as the viewers would get bored. There's always conflict or friction between the Doctor and the companion because they don't fully understand each other and because the companions don't know about the Doctor's past. It's what keeps the dynamic interesting.

[sasster]

Trial & Error

Did you know yesterday was the first day of Spring?

Happy Saekul Spring everyone.

[Doc]

— Another page is torn from the journal and added to a pile of discarded entries just on the other end of the desk. With a sigh you wipe some of the sweat that’d apparently been accumulating along your browline the entire time you worked.

Sickness had a way of making you as sweaty and uncomfortable as possible, and tired.

God, you’re so tired.

If Thanat had it his way, you would be confined to that god forsaken bed for the rest of your sick and miserable life. He’s kind of stupid for a doctor, you think. That’s mean.

He’s just trying his best, after all. The same way you are with those poor kids. 

God, those poor kids. Nothing you’ve done for them has fixed their wretched futures. In fact, almost every alteration sends them down a more horrible path. Every rule put in place to protect from the toll these prophecies take on the mind was thrown out the window to look after a couple of descendants a couple hundred sweeps down the road.

Who are you to play god with their fates like that anyway? Something twists in your stomach. This isn’t playing god, this is a gentle hand guiding away from pain.

Anyone else would do it if they had the means. It isn’t as though anyone in their present is dying to give those kids a chance. This burden feels like it was specifically designed by the universe just for you. To torture you at the very end of your life. 

A coughing fit that sends blood flying across the blank page of the journal reminds you that you are running out of time. The futures where Harlan is removed from the equation seem just as cruel as the ones with dominion over the trio.

Without a reason to leave, Veylin stays isolated on her tundra, Zurven continues on in his mediocre safety net with no real room to heal from the damage caused to him by Persep, and Benjin…Well, he’s gone altogether.

What are they, dolls? That sounds perfectly reasonable to any normal person. Who gave you the authority to decide that wasn’t enough for them?

No Ben sounds bad, though.

The blood covered page finds itself added to the pile of discarded timelines.

Discarded timelines. So you just throw away the ones that don’t meet your standards. Well doesn’t that just make the blood boil? 

Your actions betray the feeling as you grab a pen and begin drafting an idea for a different branch in the timeline.

Removing Persep puts Zurven as a Saekul on paper, the sort of company that attracts is worse than just the Lycaon alone. No one needs that.

You had the opportunity to get rid of Persep and chose to subject all of those people to his torture anyway?

What’s wrong with you?

Zurven was worse off that way.

It’s too late in present time to do something about Zerkev. Even when you were able to come between the Marauder and his win, that meant Veylin and Benjin never made contact.

Veylin lived in isolation because of you too?

Anger surges through you, but once again your body does not react. It instead continues writing out small alterations to the timeline that you might still be capable of.

You are running out of time.

Without Veylins involvement Benjins ending was truly the most vile of them all. You would kill any and everyone to prevent it.

You should just stop.

Haven’t you done enough?

You’ve done nothing.

You’re doing your best.

Again, despite the internal processes telling you to stop, your hand keeps moving. Writing out the futures that worked, the ones that didn’t, and the ones worse than the original.

The original? How many times have you done this?

The pile of discarded pages grows.

Why won’t you stop? You want to stop.

They need each other to heal, but the specific conditions that needs to be met puts them through an unspeakable amount of torture.

Why isn’t anyone else doing anything to help them? Not now. Then.

Harlan is untouchable, even his allies are powerless to stop him. They say they choose to stay out of it. Who are they fooling?

Why won’t you stop?

You want to yell at your hand to stop, but the words won’t form. the action does not cease.

Those kids need help.

You want to stop.

Time is running out.

Stop, you’ve done more harm than good.

They don’t deserve that torture.

Your mind fractures into two. Suspended from each other like oil and water.

Very sharply, reality comes into focus. The reason you can’t stop writing is because this has all already happened.

You are not Orfuse Saekul, trying to clean up a very big mess that is outside of your control.

You are Zurven Saekul, on the other side of that mess, and you are trapped inside of a nightmare.

The good news is that by the time it comes to the consciousness fracture, it means you’re about to be sent back to your time.

Guess it’s time to kick back, relax, and watch the train wreck.

You already know how it ends anyway.

Orfuse scribbles along on a fresh sheet of paper like a man possessed, which is funny all things considered, hunched over the desk with a free hand that grips it like it’s the only thing keeping him tethered to this reality.

That’s believable.

The angle that the sun hits the light muddling curtains says that it is high in the sky, it must be close to noon at this point. The oracle must have snuck away from bed shortly after dawn and has been toiling away since.

Sweat seeps through his sweater, forcing it to cling against his skin as a result. The entire experience is decidedly unpleasant.

How could he stand to sit like that for so long?

Another tearing of paper, and it’s added to the pile that starts to spill out onto the floor.

His scribbling fills the page shortly after he begins again and it’s a wonder that he never really made the investment into larger books to stream his madness into.

“What if Laz meets that asshole earlier? Then maybe there’s a chance he could talk him into helping Ben.” He mumbles around the pen as he chews on it. “They can’t meet before he’s killed that ex mate though…”

Another sheet to the pile. How many lives did Orfuse choose to mess with? Was there anyone that he met that didn’t fall victim to his idle hands?

For what purpose?

“Than and Harls kill each other if they get involved too early,” they beat each other half to death either way, great orchestrator. “At this point I can’t count on Aderae being stronger than him either.”

He would never subject Aderae to that, anyway.

The power must come with some level of eidetic memory because he goes on writing memories from the timelines he changed. This is worse than any level of control voodoos you’ve ever seen.

He knew just what strings to pull to change specific outcomes. Just never to his liking.

“Persep can’t have Zurven long enough that he starts to understand them fully. Poor thing doesn't deserve to meet the bastard at all.”

It is a horrifying power to have full control over in hindsight. Another paper ball for the pile.

What a waste of paper.

Tears stream down Orfuses cheeks but the way they mix with his sweat makes it hard to tell how hard he’s crying. A migraine starts to build behind his eyes.

It would be so much simpler for him if he just stopped, if not two, three, ten sweeps ago, right this second.

He’s on his deathbed for crying out loud.

As if in response to the thought, Orfuse very suddenly lays his pen to the side of the journal and scans over what he’s written.

Drawn is a better word. It’s a sketch inserted right at the end of a stream of consciousness.

Benjin, Veylin, and you. Embracing on what you can only imagine is Benjin’s bed. There are a few instances that this particular scene can be from. It takes a concentrated effort to keep from dredging the memory up.

No one needs to know if it’s possible to have a vision within a vision.

“This is the best I can do for them..” He mumbles, seemingly displeased with his efforts, as he traces a thumb along the edges of the sketch. “They don’t have to forgive me. I just hope there’s peace for them after all of this.”

Oh, that’s rich. Suddenly his tampering with the future isn’t about making Harlan better. That’s too little too late, Evocator.

“I wish the three of you never got dragged into all of this.” He starts to sniff, trying in vain to hold back more tears from falling. The effort sends him into another coughing fit.

Blood splatters all over the image of the three of you in his notebook.

“I care so much… But maybe that’s not enough.” His feelings creep into you and suddenly you feel as though you’re getting all choked up too.

No you aren’t.

He doesn’t care about you.

You don’t care about him.

Or his problems.

The problems he caused.

You hope the rest of his days were miserable.

You hate him.

You.

You are forcefully returned to the present. Finally.

You wake with a start and jerk yourself out of the grasp of the arm that was wrapped around you. It loosens up in response and it’s owner shifts over to take the rest of their weight off.

“Did I wake you?”

Mallum asks softly and it becomes clear you’ve found yourself on the couch at some point during the day.

This is becoming cumbersome.

You say nothing as you throw your arms around him and force your face into his side. It takes a second before he wraps the one arm around you again.

“Yeah, alright.” He says as he starts to pat your back.

[nutzgunray-lvt]

An Attempt To Fly Under the Radar - Chapter 1

I'm attempting my first multi-chapter fic!

I got the premise of it after watching episode 80 and seeing Ectoplasm's tigonometry problem. I saw online that the anime had put a typo in the problem and it got me thinking about Izuku's intelligence. He memorized Gentle Criminal's INVISIBLE PLATFORMS and quickly figured out how to use them to his advantage, not to mention how he did mental trigonometry to defeat Lady Nagant. People in the fandom accuse Izuku's fans of overhyping his intelligence, and I don't really remember Izuku's intelligence ever being truly aknowledged in the story, so I wanted to remedy that!

I fudged around with the timeline of when the class happened to better fit the narrative, because in my fics, Bakugou is expelled after his and Izuku's fight at the dorms.

Flying under the radar had never been one of Izuku's specialties.

Ever since that day at the doctor's office, the universe seemed hell bent to thrust him in the spotlight whether he liked it or not. First, it was Bakugou turning his back on him (was it ever turned towards him?) for being Quirkless, bringing his classmates to his side. Then, it was the teachers turning a blind eye to the mistreatment while inflicting their own onto him. After that came the Sludge Villain attack, which fortunately brought him under the tutelage of All Might.

He thought that finally getting a Quirk would shut off the perpetual spotlight being shined on him, but if anything, it only seemed to make things worse. He'd maimed his arm on live television during the Sports Festival (how else was he supposed to use One For All?), and helped apprehend a notorious serial killer during his internship, becoming known as 'that crazy kid who broke his limbs with his Quirk' (it wasn't as if he had a name or anything.)

The limelight wouldn't even go away during normal school days.

In short succession, he had been both nearly expelled and assaulted during Mr. Aizawa's Quirk Assessment Test, and his assaulter - a certain blonde boy - took their teacher's half hearted attempt of reprimanding him as a green light to proceed with his ill treatment of him. That day, after collecting their syllabi at the end of the day, Izuku had been cornered outside of the UA gates as he waited for Ida and Uraraka. Bakugou had roughly shoved him against the wall, gripping his tie with one hand while popping explosions near his face with the other.

"Since you chose not to fucking listen to me about not applying to UA, you better not try and get ahead of me, Deku!" he snarled. "You already fucking cheated your way in here with your bullshit Quirk, and you're not going to fucking cheat with your grades! If you put a toe out of line, I'll fucking kill you like I said I would during that Quirk Test!"

And just like he'd been doing for the past ten years, Izuku listened. Sure, it took him fudging several quizzes and tests, and maybe it included getting several questions wrong during lectures, but he thought he was doing well enough to stay off of Bakugou's radar (at least in that regard). Izuku was ranked 4th overall while Bakugou sat at 3rd. Of course, that wasn't enough for his acquaintance, but it kept his attention off of Izuku for the moment.

That is, until one fateful Wednesday morning during Math class.

Looking back on it, Izuku blamed it on the fact that it was eight in the morning and he still wasn't fully awake from yesterday's training session. The dreary weather outside also wasn't helping any. Normally, the anxiety of just being in class was enough to wake him up better than any caffeinated drink could. Class was an exercise in survival where the objective was to not give the teachers any reason to pay attention to him. It was a game he was normally unrivaled at, until that fateful 1st period Math class.

Ectoplasm had them evaluate a definite integral written on the blackboard, and that was all well and good except for one thing: there was a typo that wouldn't stop nagging at the green haired boy. The second bracket shouldn't have had a '-', it should have had a '+'.

Did Ectoplasm mean to write the equation like this? Was it an honest mistake? Was this a test for their observation skills? Did he speak up about it?

No.

He wouldn't dare correct a teacher, especially in front of everyone. Aldera had beaten that lesson into him, sometimes literally.

"You think you're smarter than me?!" His seventh grade Math teacher had hissed in the middle of lecture, having roughly pulled him out of his seat and shook him like a can of spray paint, his fingers digging painfully into his upper arms. "You think I'm so incapable of teaching that I can't write the correct geometric proof on a blackboard?!"

"Why do you have to be such a goddamn problem to the other students?!" His ninth grade English teacher had shouted, roughly shoving him to the ground with the hand yanking on his hair. The hallway was empty, but that didn't mean he avoided landing face first, pain and blood blossoming from his nose. "By seeing that you cheated on this exam, it'll encourage them to do the same! How will they get into good high schools if you keep acting up?!"

"Midoriya," His eighth grade science teacher had said in a syrupy sweet 'I'm not mad, just disappointed' voice that he quickly grew to dread more than the yelling. "Do we need to have yet another detention for refusing to pay attention during lecture? Why are you getting such easy questions wrong?"

"Midoriya? Is everything alright?"

Izuku was shaken out of his memories to find his tenth grade Math teacher staring right at him. For that matter, so were his other classmates. Aside from Bakugou, who was giving him a glare that screamed 'don't you dare speak up', everyone else looked worried. His throat dry, all he could do was hurriedly nod his head, staring down at his blank notebook page as his face heated up to an impressive fire-engine red color.

"Midoriya, do you need to visit Recovery Girl?" Ectoplasm asked, concern lacing his voice.

He shook his head, pencil flying across his paper as he copied the equation down.

"No! I'm fine! I'm sorry for interrupting class!"

Please buy it, please buy it, please leave me alone -

"Very well," his teacher said slowly, clearly not believing him. "Does anyone have an answer for this integral?"

Izuku did. He not only had the answer, he had the correct problem written in front of him. He wasn't going to say anything about it, though. Nope, he was just going to stay nice and quiet, under the radar where he belonged.

[runyoucleverboi11]

Luke fell from the sky and accidentally went through a portal to a parallel universe. He was picked up by a man wearing a bow tie in a blue box. He calls himself the Doctor. He looked a lot like Daemon, but younger, and sadder. Lucerys felt safe around him.

“Go away.” The Doctor said. “Let me travel with you.” You’re the only one I have closest to home here. Luke thought, blinking his teary eyes. “You’re an anomaly in time. The TARDIS doesn’t like that. You’re supposed to be dead.” The Doctor looked away, avoiding Luke’s sad face.

“Please. I have no where else to go.” Luke was sobbing, tears wetting his lashes. “I’ll drop you off to the closest time of your old life in this universe. You can start a new life there, farming, or be a fisherman.” The Doctor shifted the control stick.

The TARDIS tilted, Luke tripped and fell right into the Doctor’s arms. “She doesn’t want me to go,” Luke whispered, “you’re lonely, like me. I can tell.” “You don’t know me.” The Doctor scoffed. “Yet I feel so close to you. It must be fate that let we meet.”

So time went on, and as much as the Doctor resisted it, Lucerys traveled beside the Doctor. Each time the Doctor tried to drop off Luke to his time, the TARDIS dragged him to a different time. “I know. I hate to let him go too, old girl.” He caressed the console table.

“He’s…impossible.” The Doctor looked back at Luke, napping beside him, holding a book, a Brief History of Time. He chuckled, “Better find out what kept him alive, eh?” A light on the console table beamed to show approval.

“Someone worked really hard to keep him alive, changing a fixed point in time like that.” The Doctor mumbled to himself, not realizing Luke was awake. “What fixed point? Time, tis so confusing.” Luke stood up, holding the Doctor from behind, “I’m hungry.”

“What’s that sound?” Luke was holding a ice cream cone when a sound turned the Doctor pale. The cloister bell. The Doctor fumbled up, checking the screen, “A burning star. It’s drawing us near it somehow. In 90 seconds it’s turning supernova.”

“In English!” Luke yelled, grabbing on the console so he wouldn’t fall. “We are going to be toasted alive!” The Doctor yelled back. “Well do something!” The Doctor gave Luke a piercing look, “I am!”

“The radiation is too high, the energy left in the TARDIS isn’t going to shield the whole ship. She’ll only be able to shield her core.” The Doctor lifted a piece of the console panel, “Get inside.” He commanded.

Lucerys did not move. “Thanks for rescuing me,” He smiled, “Thanks for taking me to see the universe. Look after yourself when I’m gone.” Luke pushed the Doctor inside. A heavy thud onto the TARDIS floor was the last thing the Doctor heard.

When he woke up again, the Doctor was pointed at by a blade. The legendary Rogue Prince, looking down at him, eyes cold. “Where is Lucerys?” was the first thing the Doctor asked. Daemon froze in place, “You know Lucerys?” “Wait. You…we…we look the same!”

The Doctor exclaimed, but the blade of the Dark Sister moved an inch closer to his neck. “How do you know Lucerys? The boy has been dead for over a year.” “He’s not,” the Doctor panted, “he was supposed to but somebody changed a fixed point in time.”

It all added up now. This was the parallel universe that Lucerys was supposed to die in. The burning star fueled the TARDIS and got him through to this reality. The Doctor realized, he just uncovered why Luke didn’t die. It was because of him. Well, not him, it was another version of him.

“I have a feeling it was you who’s responsible for that.” Though looking confused, Daemon put away his sword, letting the Doctor stand on his feet. “You’re telling me there is a way to keep Lucerys alive?” The Doctor hesitated, “Yes. But I should warn you, changing a fixed point in time can bring catastrophic consequences to your world, bloodshed of many families, an end of a species, perhaps.” “What would happen to Luke if I saved him?” “He’ll live, in another universe, but yes he’ll live.”

Daemon nodded, “I’m assuming he’s with you?” “Yes.” A pause. “What will I need to do?” The Doctor looked at the man with the same face he has, and solemnly nodded back, “terminating the cause of this chain of events at a specific point of time in a specific place will open a temporal portal.”

“Will you take care of him after I kill Aemond Targaryen?” Daemon asked, his voice low. “I promise you.” The Doctor breathed, watching the Rogue Prince striding away. The surroundings started to move in reverse, the blast of the supernova closing in on itself, and the Doctor started feeling dizzy again.

“Hey. Wake up.” Luke’s hand patted his cheek. The Doctor jerked his body up, jumping from the floor. “Lucerys? You’re alive!” He grabbed Luke’s face, squeezing it a bit too hard. “What are you talking about? We were eating ice cream and you passed out. Had me worried for a while.”

“You don’t remember? Of course you don’t, the course of time changed, it worked! You’re alive!” “Of course I’m alive, have you lost you mind?” Luke eyed him, looking concerned, didn’t notice the Doctor’s reddened eyes. “So, where are we going next?”

“I thought you were dropping me off.” “Oh that can wait. I know, Barcelona, you like the sound of that?” The Doctor danced around the TARDIS console, like a weird looking giraffe, Luke thought. He smiled, taking the Doctor’s hand, “I’d like that.”

[thejewishgaymer]

Ramblings on the Dr Who 60th Anniversary

So saw the 3rd Dr Who Special, and like the first one, was pretty solid until the end with the barely explained Deus ex Machina. I like the idea that as the Doctor goes on, he's constantly running and running and never stopping to take a breath, which helps to explain the reboot of the show, although tbh these specials should've been apart of the previous series. 15 is now gonna take the reins and 14 is gonna live off in domestic bliss. Ngl though when David said he was so happy I thought they were gonna kill both ours and his hearts by someone knocking on the door saying that Wilf had been shot dead, granted I also thought Donna was gonna die given that she had had 2 fake outs and it felt like they were building something up with that, also with how Kate mentioned to Donna she could work with Unit, idk. I also also thought that "The Boss" the Meep mentioned was gonna turn out to be the Toy Maker, could have been a nice way to tie all 3 together, given that 14 says the Toymaker came back due to the salt he used at the edge of the universe (I also noticed Kate said to put a ring of salt around the box when they took it away).

However I wish they had bothered to explain what a "Bi-generation" is, like all we got was "I thought it was a myth!" and nothing else. Not a "Well the Timelords thought that..." Or a "The Master once researched..." Nothing. I think that maybe they were hinting that it was something to do with the Toymaker? I liked Mel returning, I never watched her series with 7, but still. That being said, I wish it was Martha Jones instead, now granted maybe it was originally meant to be Martha but Freema didn't want to/couldn't return, I don't really know. Overall I think the reason why the 2nd special worked so well was because it was a very limited cast, with a very compact idea and "simple" plot. The 1st Special was working off of the back of the original version of the Star Beast, but still felt like it could've had more teeth. Unlike some other people I never really held RTD on this podium of "prime Dr Who writing", In fact none of the Showrunners so far have really been that, but Russel has always had this problem of "bigger than the last", Where first it was the Dalek Empire returning, then Daleks + Cybermen + an alternate universe, then it was the Master + Martha travelling the world + the power of literal prayer + future earth killing it's own past, and then it was Dalek Empire again, but with Davros, + all of 10's companions and characters from spin-off shows at the time + expending an entire regeneration to keep the same face with a two parter + a whole other Doctor being born + Donna becoming the DoctorDonna + the fate of all reality + said 2nd 10th Doctor now living in bliss with Rose, and THEN it was the Master returning via magic ritual whatever + the Timelords leaving the Time war to invade Earth + Wilfred Mott seeing some random woman who may actually be the Doctor's Mother given that in earlier drafts she was, and when casted she was casted as the Doctor's mom, but that was then changed to "Just a woman" so we don't really know. Seriously we complain about Moffat being annoying with all his time shenanigans but RTD didn't know when a story arc should've ended small. This isn't all to say RTD is bad or that Disney is killing Dr Who or whatever people want to say, I am glad Russel included brief explanations of Amy, Clara, and Bill, though would have liked 13's companions, and I did like the banter between everyone in the Unit building. I think personally, this should've gotten more time in the oven. Maybe also a bit longer in general.

[pancakebutton]

Threads of Fate (Miguel O’Hara X Reader)

Chapter One: A Rude Hello

Hi my name is (Y/n) and I'm New York's friendly neighborhood Spider-Woman. I grew up in Brooklyn with my parents and my little sister Camille, she's 13. I'm currently in my first year attending New York University studying astrophysics.

My story all started when I was walking down the Brooklyn Bridge with some friends and a meteor hit the upper New York bay. Later, when we went to go check it out, I was bit by a radioactive spider on my ankle. I thought nothing of it but as the days went by I started to develop these crazy powers. Like how I got stuck to my door and could jump higher than the average person.

But now a few years later, I've mastered my powers and fight crime in my free time. It wasn't easy and the weight of the responsibility felt like a burden at times, but I knew if I'd let the world pass me by more and more people would die. I lost my aunt Bee because of that lesson.

•

"All units we have a 10-35 on Baltic Street proceed with caution suspect armed with...tentacles...and has a civilian as a hostage"

I swing from building to building as quick as possible trying to beat the cops to the scene. From the sounds of the report, it seems like it's some kind of giant octopus that is terrorizing nearby civilians, but with these types of calls you never know when you're getting into. I finally get atop a tall building nearby and it's clear that I was in fact...kind of right.

A strange blue man held a little girl in one of his four tentacles in the middle of the block and I raced down the building towards him. "-Kron and I have several associates we want you to meet Spider-Man-...where am I?" The man looks around confused and puts down the girl. "Y-you're not Spider-Man" he stutters in surprise, I then butt in "No but I can do you one better with Spider-Woman!"

I shoot out a slew of webs aimed to tie his arms, legs, and tentacles together, but before they could reach him, red webs hit the man and stuck him to a nearby wall. "That should take care of you Doctor" a tall, built man in a costume similar to mine walked towards the so-called "doctor" from the shadows. Out of shock I had spaced out for just a second and realized I was heading straight for a car at full force. The red webs spun effortlessly towards me and caught me just in time sending me straight towards the man who had spun them.

I manage to stop myself from crashing into the man just in time with my own webs. My eyes were wide from how quickly everything had happened, "wha-...w-who are you? I was gonna catch that guy if it weren't for..." The man put his hands on his hips, "yeah? You really think you would have gotten that guy? Move. I've got things to take care of, I don't need a child in my way."

He uses his arm to get around me as I scoff at his response. I turn with him to see the doctor gone, but before I could find him again I'm flipped upside down. "Don't come any closer Spider-Man or else she gets it!" Somehow the doctor got behind me and was now holding me captive with the strong grasp of his tentacles. One of which begins to wrap around my neck and it felt harder and harder to breath.

I manage to move my wrist and shoot out a web at his eyes causing him to drop me. Immediately afterwards the Spider-Man shoots out his own red webs, enough to completely cover the doctor. He then runs to my side, "are you alright?" The discontent from earlier in his voice is completely replaced with genuine concern.

I slap his hands away, "yes yes I'm fine, don't worry about me just get the guy." The doctor had managed to get some of his tentacles out of the webbing and was trying to rip off the rest. As he squirmed around, one of his free tentacles grabs onto a nearby light pole and he swings it in our direction but goes over us towards a store full of people.

In an instant like it was a reflex, I manage to shoot a few webs to it, but I knew it wouldn't be enough. Before it could hit the building the Spider-Man's red webs hit the pole and we both maneuver the pole to a halt and it slams into the ground. I run over to the store and swing open the doors, "everyone this way! You're in danger here! Go! Go! Go!" I directed the people in the opposite direction of the fight.

I made sure no one else was in the vicinity of the fight and turned to see the doctor and the Spider-Man in a grappling fight exchanging blows. The doctor looked strong but it seemed the Spider-Man was even stronger and took the hits like they were nothing. I run over and hop onto a building then threw a web that landed on a tentacle and stick it to the building so it's immobile.

I then do the same to all of his limbs until finally, the doctor is unable to move. "Finally your stupid antics are done with Doctor Octopus. I'm sending us both back home. Lyla send us back!" I hop down from the building and walk over to them both, "wait you're leaving? Where are you going?"

"Sorry I didn't mean for this to happen, we're both from Earth 928, the one we're in now is Earth 8766. In each universe is a different Spider-Man, or in your case Spider-Woman, that protects their version of New York. Somehow a blip caused us to end up here, it's been happening more frequent recently and I'm trying to hunt down anomalies and put them back where they belong. Anyway, we'll be going now."

A strange and colorful portal opens up next to them and the man picks up the doctor and begins walking towards it. "Wait!" I call out running after them but I stumble and trip, not aware of my surroundings, and fall into the two, pulling all three of us into the portal.

[inkwardspots]

Thank you to my wonderful friend @racfoam for tagging me!

For mine, I'll tag @deardiary17, @loupettes and @gingerteaonthetardis and whoever else wishes to join!

Now, let's get started:

Rules:

post the top 5 works you're most proud of that you released in 2022 (not necessarily your most popular)

your top 4 current WIPs that you're excited to release in the new year

your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year

your top 2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing/blog) for the new year,

and your number 1 favourite line you've written this year!

5 WORKS

home is where the hearts are (and my hearts are a universe away)

OR: 10K worth of the Doctor being an angsty mess (as usual) with Martha along for the ride.

I spent nearly a whole year on this one. So darn long, and yet it left me the most fulfilled. It's one of those ideas that have niggled away in my head for so long and took so long to refine that I felt the greatest relief when I posted it.

This one, I can say for sure, is a labour of love.

all she knows is how to survive (but, tell me, how do you die?)

Harry Potter, The Girl-Who-Lived-Twice (or is it thrice?) and Dark Lord Defeater, is a bit fucked in the head. Dealing with PTSD and being classed 'mentally unstable', trying to convince Andromeda to let her have a life with Teddy and now having to parent the baby of her arch nemesis is not how she imagined she would be spending her twenties (or her thirties, actually).

Watch as she deals with parenthood, PTSD, a career as a Hogwarts Professor and with being thrust back in time face-to- face with her daughter's Dark Lord father and her slightly-less-unhinged but equally terrifying just-married mother.

This one, though fun to write, can be very mentally and emotionally draining because of its heavy nature. A lot of the description here I love; I think its very vivid! I also love writing not only the moments of Harry's weaker and more vulnerable moments but also the moments of friendship between the golden trio as they help her pull through after the war. The reason this can be so tiring and overwhelming to write sometimes is because it pulls on a lot of moments from my mental struggles, so although it is hard, I think this story is an important one to tell.

the world is small (but my heart is large)

Harri James Potter's world is small.

It focuses on her mum, her tiny council flat, her crap school and the library where she hides away.

She does not want a Hogwarts letter.

She does not want a soulmate.

(Too bad she gets that and more.)

I didn't expect this to get as much attention as it did, but I enjoy writing it! It's fun to delve into Harri's mind and explore a Voldemort-Wins world. The reason I'm most proud of it is that it's one of the few multi-chap fics that I have been continuously writing for and because multiple people have told me it's their comfort fic! That makes me incredibly happy, that these silly characters in this silly world with their falls and their triumphs are able to comfort readers in their times of sadness!

The Stronger Her Hearts Beat (The Faster Fate Unravels)

Jenny is supposed to be dead. But, unfathomably, she is alive.

Her hearts beats for her family and she relishes each day - loves the adventure, the mishaps, the mayhem. And yet, sometimes her hearts can't take the loving and losing. Sometimes she wonders why her dad looks so sad and smiles so wide. Sometimes, she feels something is missing and her hearts twinge at the name 'Rose' like a confusing familiarity - one she knew so long ago but now can't recall at all.

She can't put a face to the name, and yet, she soon might.

This one is - theoretically - the closest of all my fics to one day be marked 'complete'. I enjoy writing the Jenny and her comforting her dad, but also all the plot twists and AU's within this AU to come! That is, if I could only write it down...

i have fallen through the weaves of time (only to happen upon you, the purveyor of my heart)

Hydrangea Jamie Potter does not mean to travel through time. Nor, in fact, does she intend to befriend Abraxas Malfoy with his snotty attitude after saving him from a night time excursion with ghosts. She doesn't, actually, want to befriend Orion Black either, seeing as he always seems on the edge of madness and yet can't help but endear himself to Hydra.

She especially doesn't want the curious (and frankly creepy) attention of fifth year Tom Riddle or of a younger, less eccentric Professor Dumbledore who seems to be on to her. She doesn't want any of this, but she has it.

She has it and she hates it - she just wants to go home after all, and yet, as she watches Orion tease Brax and battles Tom Riddle for the life of Myrtle Warren, she realises it may not be so easy to leave after all.

She is trapped here, after all, and so is her heart.

Ahh, another time-travel fic! As you can see, I have a preference...This one is the most interesting two write in the terms that I don't have wait for the time travel bit because Hydra's already plunged head first into it during the beginning of her third year. It's one of my more fast-paced fics, which I'm proud of seeing as I always seem to create tense, long-fics, haha!

4 WIPS

human nature au with nine

basic premise based on a tag game:

After an encounter with the Family of Blood, The Doctor decides to take some drastic action and erase his memories with a contraption called the 'Chameleon Arch'. He says its the best way to save the both of them, but Rose isn't so sure, certainly not when the TARDIS malfunctions and plops them in right in the middle of WW2...

John Smith is an admirable schoolteacher, especially in the midst of war. He's stern, smart, and academic and veteran himself; he's much adored by the residents of Farringham School for Boys. With patriotic movement calling to arms the loyalty of every man, woman and child, the school and it's village sees John Smith as a man of honour. However, not all is as it seems, especially when despite being fit for service, he does not register himself. Whilst during the day he is questioned for his patriotism, by night he is plagued by dreams of a blue box and visions of aliens in hiding, flashes of war and destruction, giant, talking pepper pots, a red lit sky and a woman who keeps disappearing into a pool of golden light.

As he grows closer with the newly appointed librarian Rose Tyler, enthralled by her shining mind and warm heart, as well as the fact that she is not afraid to challenge his own ideals, whispering of German spies within the small village stir, and as the evidence mounts itself against her, John Smith wonder how Rose Tyler, temptress of the mind and heart, is in anyway involved.

black and white tomarry soulmate au

Dora Black has lived twenty-four lives in monochrome, all except the first where she was 'Harry Potter'. She is racy, obscene and dangerous - nothing like her pureblood father Arcturus Black wants. The minute she gets back to England to train for the Woman's Quidditch World Cup, the knows her father will be her like a hound, ready to shack her up with the first greasy and willing pureblood ready to take a twenty-seven year old wife. Her chance encounter with Minister of Magic-candidate Tom Riddle is by pure chance by her iota, but by his? Not so much, she's sure. A year till the general election, his campaign is full speed ahead. No mishaps are allowed, especially not like last time when he got saddled with his young daughter Delphi. And so, he proposes the perfect ruse: "Court me, Miss Black, until my campaign is done and dusted and your training is over. No father after your neck, and no enemies after mine."

And, well, who is Dora to refuse such a perfect offer?

The Royal Tinkerer AU

ninerose au where Nine is the royal inventor, Rose is a visiting noble and foster-sister to his royal majesty Jack Harkness. As they prepare for his coronation, His Majesty's distant relative Prince Harold Saxon arriving earlier than expected, can Rose and Nine - who seem to be getting increasingly closer - stop whatever treason that Prince Saxon seems to up to?

Twiyor post-hijacking of bus fic

A fic that will explore Loid and Yor's reactions after they find out that Anya's bus has been hijacked by the Red Circus. Expands of off this post.

3 BIGGEST IMPROVEMENTS

Using different sentence types instead of just long ones.

Having natural conversation and flow with dialogue.

Able to allow the reader to feel more 'in the moment' with the characters by using description.

2 RESOLUTIONS

Don't be afraid to stand your ground! No matter whatever you post, the person you are writing for first and foremost is yourself. These are your characters, your story - a polite no of discouragement is more than enough for a pushy commenter.

2. Write a little everyday - even one sentence goes a long way!

1 LINE

“Yes, yes!” The Master - Koschei - cheers, laughter resounding. “Think of that name,” he says, “Because that is the name of the person I’ll tear apart, Doctor. Gallifrey is no more. The Time Lords are no more. No one, absolutely no one, can stop me! Why take over this tiny planet, this universe, when I can have two? I’m going to rip open a hole - I’m going to rip open time and space and the seams of reality and conquer what those Cyberman and Daleks could not! And while I’m at it, Theta,” he draws a breath, quick and raspy and eager, “While I’m at it, I’m going to rip open your hearts and your lungs! I’m going to devour those hearts of yours, flesh by flesh, vein by vein! I’m going to feel the blood against my tongue and the flesh against my teeth! I'm going to compress the air out of your lungs, I am! – And what better way to do it than by devouring - by destroying - the one person - the one human - that makes you whole? That makes your hearts beat?

“What better way to do it than destroying Rose Tyler?”

from home is where the hearts are (but my hearts are a universe away)

[eristic-kaleidoscope]

Red Notice | Akito | Trial 4.2 | Re: Erik A, Erisu, Jae-min, END, Kenshin, Adrik / Attn: KOKONE, All

Erik A’s tacit confession is the second thing that you’ve publicly seen shake Akito to his very core. The fact that they had been hours away… No, just one interaction away from losing his boyfriend rankles him deeply, and for a moment he’s at a loss for words. What was he supposed to say to that?

“I’m putting you on immediate bed rest once this is all over.” He says softly, but firmly. “We have painkillers, and I can grab a cold compress… I’m glad you’re alive and still here. L-Let’s keep it that way, alright?”

Deep breaths. The universe had lined up perfectly for both of Erik A’s partners to delay proceedings just long enough to save him from a dark fate, but Erika L didn’t have the same luxury. He could cling to his boyfriend after the trial was over. Right now, they still had a murder to solve.

“I haven’t eaten anything yet this morning, so nothing in the Eatery belonged to me. I haven’t stepped into the Eatery before the investigation this morning, actually.” The gnawing in his stomach reminds him he hasn’t had sustenance for over twelve hours now, but it’s disregarded. He reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a Samsung. “I do, however, have an Android phone. Also, someone had to have the technical know-how and mathematical-slash-physics knowledge to design and build the trap, as well as enough tokens to purchase the tools needed to set that up, though I’m still at somewhat of a loss as to what their motives could be. Not just about Miss Ljunggren being the victim, but also why it was set-up in the first place.”

Who had something taken from them that was worth murdering over?

The ping on his tablet, combined with the subtle shifting behind him, almost makes him want to turn around and look at the expressions on their faces. Instead, Jae-min is back at it again like a cockroach that wouldn’t stay down, and once again everyone else decides it’s both of their problems. Sigh. He bites back the retort that would’ve come out, and takes a deep breath, instead turning to glance over at KOKONE. “I’ll take your word for it. Incidentally, could I ask where you were heading to when we crossed paths?” He’ll leave that until they had a chance to respond later on.

“I mentioned this during our investigation, but considering how loud a bookcase falling over probably was, they wouldn’t want to be caught at the scene of the crime if someone else in the general area came running. The drill and its bits are also bulky enough that you would have a difficult time hiding it on your person, so I presume they just left it there because it would raise the least suspicion. Besides, if we found it in yet another room, we’d know that the killer had to have gone there too, just like how the plans for the trap were discovered in the Eatery, or that they had to have been in the Surgery Room at some point as well given the wheel on the ceiling came from one of the carts in it." 

Akito brings out his regular notebook. "Keep in mind that while twelve tokens’ worth of tools were purchased, nothing says they had to have been all purchased by the killer. The two-tokens pair of pliers seem to be the least connected to the murder at hand, while the combined total of a drill, screws, and the handle account for five tokens.” He pauses. “While the easy explanation for the other five is a ladder, there’s already one in the Library. So I’m not entirely sure what collection of items would total five after that.”

He runs his hand through his hair. “Something else to keep in mind is that AION was tasked to remain in the Library from seven onwards until they presumably heard the verbal cue and pulled the sheets. Miss Ljunggren perished shortly after eight, and I’m no doctor but… I think it’s safe to assume she was killed immediately or near-immediately, which meant that either the killer had been waiting in the Library for someone to step in between 7AM to 8AM, or had specifically brought or sent Miss Ljunggren to her doom. What do you all think is likelier?” And of all the people to do it to…

“…Though I have to wonder why they’d need AION in the first place? I suppose it might have been a gamble to pin the actual crime on them instead, but… Considering they were specifically instructed to do what they were asked, they’re pretty much an unwitting accomplice, a tool in the greater scheme of things… Ethics about whether an AI has their own agency aside.” That’s not something he wants to get into right now.

[meatmechapilot]

Holidays 2023: Pies in Paradise

Summary: A new bakery with a focus on pie opened in Levi's neighborhood and he's there's flirt with the owner's son, even though he doesn't like pie.  At least the tea is good.

Levi does not like pie.  He does not have much of a sweet tooth and is not a fan of desserts in general.  He's much more of a fan of savory foods, yet somehow, he does not like savory pies either.  There's just something about that particular food that he doesn't like.

Currently, Levi is choking down a slice of chocolate pie while the server's back is turned.  The things I do for love, Levi thought and shook his head.  The reason he's choking down his least favorite food is because of the server he's trying to hide his distaste for pie from.  His name was Eren, and he was the owner's son.  Eren and his parents moved to Trost last Autumn.  Eren father was a doctor and started working at Trost General Hospital, Eren started college at Trost University.  And Eren's mother, who suddenly have a lot of time since Eren started university decided to open a bakery.  

The name of the bakery was "Pies in Paradis" and it naturally specialized in pies.  Levi didn't think much of it at first when he noticed it first opening during his daily walks.  Levi would have gone on his way blissfully unaware had he not seen the green-eyed beauty handing out fliers and menus at the door.  Their eyes met and it was game over for Levi, he could feel the cupid's arrow striking as he's pulled into the enchanting blue-green depth.  Ever since that fateful day, Levi has been coming to the bakery every day, slowly but surely building rapport with Eren and waiting patiently to strike when the time was right.

There were a few setbacks at first when Levi first started his silent pursuit of Eren.  First of all, Eren already had a boyfriend at the time, much to Levi's displeasure, but at least it means that Eren's gay, so he has a chance.  Secondly, Levi met Eren's half-brother Zeke, which was hate at first sight and almost caused Levi to give up on his pursuit all together.  Luckily, Zeke lives in the different city and only visits occasionally, Levi can deal with him a few times a year.  In spite of all the roadblocks, Levi persisted, befriending Eren and gaining his trust, eventually becoming the trusted older male figure in Eren's life.

Back in the present, Levi washed down the pie with a sip of tea.  "Pies in Paradise" initially only served coffee as beverages, but Levi convinced Eren that tea should also be on the menu, and even offered advice on which type of tea to stock.  Eren took the advice and convinced his mother to put tea on the menu, and it proved to be so much of a hit, that "Pies in Paradise" was able to expand into a bakery cafe.  Eren personally brews the tea that's served at the cafe, and he makes it just the way Levi likes it.  Levi took that as a sign that he and Eren were soulmates.

"Do you want anything else?" Eren had finished helping other customers and is back to serving Levi.

"Just a refill of the tea please." Levi replied.  Eren smiled brightly, the first bright smile in days.  Eren broke up with his boyfriend a couple of weeks ago and had been feeling down.  Good thing Levi was there to pick up the pieces, and it seems that time is right for him to make a move.

Just then, Eren came back with his tea refill and handed it to Levi.  Levi took the tea gratefully and drank, but Eren didn't leave but instead waited for Levi to finish, fidgeting nervously.  Eren must be impatient because he spoke before Levi finished his tea: "My ex wants to get back together," he blurted out.  This caused Levi to choke, and he started to cough while Eren hurried to pat his back.

After a full minute of wheezing, Levi managed to choke out his protests: "Hey Eren, didn't you say that asshole was the one who dumped you, now he wants to get back together?  You should tell that jerk to take a hike."

"That's what I did," Eren said, "but he won't leave me alone."  Levi's eyes narrowed at this, "that's why I'm asking you for advice."

Levi nearly blurted out an offer to beat Eren's ex up for him, but he refrained.  Instead, he said, "you should tell him you already found someone else."

"He knows I haven't been dating anyone because he asked Armin about me," Eren said, "maybe I should say I'm dating someone, but I haven't told anyone yet?  But then he'll accuse me of lying unless I show him the evidence."

"Date me," Levi suddenly interrupted.  Eren looked up, startled, then blushed as Levi's words sunk in. "I mean, make your ex believe that we are dating so he would leave you alone," Levi continued, hoping he sounded smooth.

"Okay," Eren agreed, "but we should meet somewhere to take some photos so it would seem more believable."  Levi readily agreed, his mind full of plans to turn fake dating into a real relationship.

---

Next Saturday, Levi dressed to impress and showed up at the bakery cafe to pick Eren up for their "date".  Eren's also dressed in a cute outfit that showed off his body, much to Levi's delight.  Eren climbed into Levi's car, and they drove down the pier by the lake, which was a popular date spot.  The weather was perfect for taking pictures, and Eren took full advantage, taking plenty of photos of himself and his new "boyfriend".

They ended up having so much fun that Eren forgot about taking photos and Levi almost forgot that this was a fake date.  They ended up in a Ferris wheel with Eren holding eating cotton candy and holding a plushie that Levi won for him.  The Ferris wheel is pausing at the top with the perfect view of the city with the lake.  Eren just finished taking a "couple's photo" and they are waiting for the wheel finish its descent so they can get off.  "This is almost like a real date," Eren said, voicing what Levi was thinking.  Their eyes met and as if drawn by invisible forces, they started leaning into each other.  When their faces were inches apart the Ferris wheel stopped and it's time to get off.

This is basically victory, Levi thought, Eren's thinking about dating me, and we almost kissed.  I just need to seal the deal.  The "couple" ended up by the lake, along the pier.  Eren should have plenty of photos as proof that he has a new boyfriend, but he's reluctant to let the fake date end.  Levi found a picnic table and sat down, and Eren went to go get some drinks, leaving his stuff with Levi.

Levi waited for 10 minutes and when Eren didn't get back, he got worried and decided to look for Eren.  He found Eren at the concession area in a dispute with another guy, Eren's ex-boyfriend.  Levi's mood immediately turned sour.  What does that asshole want?  As Levi gets closer to the commotion, he can hear the argument between Eren and his ex.  Eren was handling him fairly well, although a small group had gathered.

"Hey, leave my boyfriend alone," Levi said, as he came on to the scene, Eren turned to him and looked visibly relieved.

"So, it's true?" the asshole said, turning to Eren, "you are dating?"  He looked at Levi to sized him up and apparently wasn't impressed.  "You are okay with dating this middle-aged midget?"  Levi foisted all the stuff onto Eren, preparing to administer an ass kicking when a new voice cut into the argument.

"What the hell is this?" A new girl was on the scene holding a bunch plushies.  She looked back and forth between Eren and his ex, then frowned.  "I thought you said it's over between you two," she accused.

"Babe, I can explain," Eren's ex said to the new girl, but was met with a slap on the face.  Levi couldn't help smirk at the new development.

"I know you never got over Eren," the girl continued, while the boy tried to appease her.  "Consider us finished too!"  She then turned to leave while Eren's ex ran after her, no doubt to grovel and tried to get her to take him back.  The spectacle was over, and the crowd dispersed.

Eren finally handed Levi his drink, and turned to Levi, "this was a fun date, we should do it again."

[glitterdustcyclops]

speaking of "bunch of queer misfits find family and belonging with one another" i was re-reading one of my many (many many) WIPS last night and i have poured both my heart and soul and literal years of faffing about with this particular story, and going back to it last night i surprisingly didn't hate most of it

it's about a girl named Cat, perpetual ADHD/Anxiety Ridden Disaster Machine, and how she just-friends her way into falling head-over-heels in love with the cool, mysterious Punk Baker she literally runs into, Quinn

they're both ridiculous and i love them with all my heart

anyway, here's the first chapter, in an effort to put more of my writing on tumblr

I always thought the moment my entire life changed would be more significant. That there would be some kind of ominous portent or some sign from the Universe. Even just some suitably dramatic background music at the very least. You’d think Fate would have the decency to give a girl a head’s up.

But no.

It started like any other morning. Running late, sleep deprived, and in desperate need of caffeine. That was my excuse. I mean, I was barely a functioning human being at 9 in the morning, how could I have been expected to do something ridiculous like pay attention to my surroundings? To notice the black-and-white person-shape strolling out of the propped-open door of Haven—my absolute favorite coffee dispensary—at the same time I was barreling in, my headphones firmly on and blasting Queen.

I swear, time actually slowed down as we collided. She practically skidded to a stop, her mouth dropping open on a gasp I couldn’t hear while I probably squakwed like a damn parrot, a gloriously dramatic cascade of hot latte raining down on us both while the empy paper cup thudded to the concrete.

“The fuck—” I yanked down my headphones, so very ready to take this already shitty morning out on someone else when—

Oh fuck, she’s cute.

Of course that’s what my brain decided to notice first. She was taller than me, especially in her stompy black punk boots, and her hair was almost silvery-white, her eyes like unfairly blue. She had a cute sort of pixie-ish face, tan skin and a silver eyebrow ring glinting at the corner of her neatly manicured black brows.

And she stood in the doorway with her very crisp, very tight white v-neck absolutely ruined by a giant coffee stain running right down the middle.

“Oh jesus I’m so sorry!” I basically shouted at her, like a completely normal functioning person would, flapping a hand awkwardly at her torso. “Your shirt!”

Oh yeah, good plan self. Let’s just go ahead and draw attention to the fact that we were staring resolutely at her chest, where the thin material of her shirt had gone very transparent, clinging to her skin and letting the pale blue lacy material of her bra peek through.

“Hmm?” She glanced down as I averted my eyes in just the smoothest way. “Ah, well, I guess we’re even then.”

I looked down at myself. My favorite faded blue Doctor Who shirt was a bit sticky, but since I was the one who had knocked myself into her, I’d mostly managed to get my arm, a light sprinkle on the thighs of my jeans.

And of course I found the soft little chuckle she gave me then utterly adorable too. There was just this smoky hint of an accent in her slightly-raspy voice and it sent a weird tingle down my spine. Because I was fucking hopeless.

“No no no, my bad, sorry! I wasn’t looking, God, I’m such an idiot.”

“Hey, relax. It’s just coffee.” She gave me a very casual shrug of her bony shoulder, and there was a wry sort of quirk to the corners of her lips.

“Here, uh, l-let me, uh, let me buy you a new one? To make up for it?”

“You don’t have to.”

“N-no, no I don’t mind, please. Shit I am so so sorry I wasn’t paying attention, I never pay attention, I can’t believe—” Great. Now I was spiraling.

“Really dude, it’s fine,” she said, sounding, well, at least not annoyed with me. Not yet. “I’m Quinn by the way.”

“Oh uh, uh Cat. I’m Cat.” I waved at myself like a complete moron.

“Pleasure to meet you, Cat.” There was another quirk of her lips that edged more towards a smirk, a glimmer of something slightly wicked in her blue eyes. I kind of liked it.

“You…too?”

“Leat’s go inside, yeah? Get cleaned up at least.”

So I followed her into the café, just barely managing to stop myself from compulsively apologizing again as I did. The interior of Haven Coffee was mostly quiet, somehwere in that weird bubble after the morning rush but before the lunch one. Always one of my favorite times here. There was this dreamy sort of quality that settled over the floor-to-ceiling wooden shelves and the stark black-and-white check tile floor. The sound of some vintage record drifted across the empty interior, the large stone hearth in the corner and the matching set of forest green velvet armchairs arranged invitingly in front of it, a cozy little nook blessedly unoccoupied, like it was waiting for me.

Haven lived up to its name, a safe little pocket dimension of warmth and old books and records and really damn good coffee. And it just so happened to be the employer of my two very best friends in the whole wide world who were also my roommates, Ginger and Greg.

“Oh, g’morning Kit Kat!” Ginger said brightly, only half paying attention as she rearranged something on the counter, before she finally looked up and then saw the strangest thing she’d probably ever seen me do (which was saying a lot, really): walk into Haven with a stranger, both of us lightly doused with coffee.

At least Greg wasn’t out here this morning so I didn’t have to deal with him judging all of my life choices with a single look the way Ginger so very obviously was.

“Oh jeez, what happened.”

Audrey “Ginger” Parker had been assigned into my life by the whims of the Greendale University Student Housing Department, and I was ever thankful for it. She was basically if a pumpkin spice latte was a person, with her wild Merida mane of ginger curls and a constellation of freckles dusted liberally across her skin like cinnamon sprinkles. She could be obnoxious and pushy sometimes but she was also a total goofball and one of the least judgemental people I’d ever met. Which was a good thing for her, surrounded as she was by a bunch of dramatic artsy queers.

She was my token Straight Best Friend, and I loved her dearly. Usually.

Right now, standing next to a hot punk rock chick I’d practically assaulted and Ginger staring at me all wide-eyed and concerned I was questioning a lot of things.

“Oh, just a small accident,” Quinn was explaining with that stupid edge of a smirk to her mouth. Why is that attractive?

“Oh no! I’ll get someone to clean that up, and I can get you another vanilla latte of course,” Ginj replied, all warm smiles and Customer Service Voice.

“Yes please, and whatever she wants.”

Ginger glanced between the two of us with a raised eyebrow. I shrugged back in my customary twitchy manner—and hey, wasn’t I supposed to be buying her coffee? But of course, I wasn’t nearly socially adept enough to say anything about it, consumed as I was with wishing that my too too solid flesh would melt right through the polished tile floor.

“Alright!” Ginger said in an almost gratingly perky voice. “One large vanilla latte and one Kitty-Cat special, comin’ right up! That’ll be $4.35 please.”

I shambled over to the other side of the counter to wait for our drinks while Quinn finished paying, Ginger and her making casual small talk in that way I could never quite grasp. Instead I grabbed a handful of napkins and started dabbing ineffectively at my jeans. It was an excuse to look down at my feet and not make eye contact with anyone else, and I took those where I could get hem.

“Come here often?” Quinn asked me with slightly more than a hint of a smirk as she came over to join me, grabbing her own handful of napkins and making a valiant attempt to blot the stain from her shirt.

“Uh, somethin’ like that. I, er, Ginj is my roommate. We live thataways.” I gestured randomly with my other hand without looking up, deeply aware that it probably made me come off as even more of a twitchy weirdo but utterly unable to stop myself.

“Convenient.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

And just like that our feeble attempt at conversation bled out and died on the checkerboard floor below us. I was about to start praying for a god to smite me out of pity when Ginj finally finished our drinks, handing over the cups with a cheeky little wink as I glared daggers back at her.

She was so getting a bunch of trash shoved into her bed later.

“So, stay and chat?” Quinn indicated the cozy little nook with the fireplace and chairs in the corner—my spot, my favorite spot, and how the fuck did she know that anyway—and for a brief second the fantasy flashed before my eyes. The two of us, sitting there together, talking and laughing, getting to know each other.

But of course this was me we were talking about so it would mostly be like: awkward silence while avoiding eye contact and then eventually slinking away, trying to apologize for my general failure at existing without having to actually say anything.

And more importantly, after seeing what a stunning conversationalist I was for like the two minutes it took to order our drinks why would anyone I didn’t already live with voluntarily subject themselves to more of me. It just didn’t add up.

And oh fuck, she was still standing there looking at me expectantly and I hadn’t replied. Because of course this was my life, God, why didn’t I say anything? Say something you idiot, oh God this is it, this was somehow the most awkward situation I had ever been in, pack it up boys we’ve done it—and then suddenly I remembered I had an out, and I’d never been so grateful to already be late for a 9 AM opening shift in my entire life.

“C-cant, sorry! I uh, late for work. Butthanksforthecoffeebye!”

And with that eloquent little display I turned and swiftly walked out the door, another flappy wave to Ginj as I went. Once I was safely deposited onto the concrete outside I fucking ran for it, straight booking it out of there like I was being actively chased by dinosaurs.

Briefly I contemplated Forest Gumping my way past all of my problems and not stopping until I ended up on a different coast. But I quickly got winded—it wasn’t like I was renowned for my athleticism or anything—and I needed to pay my rent. Ginj would find me somehow, if I skipped town, and then she would be forced to kill me. And I couldn’t do that to my best friend.

I slowed down to somewhat of an amble, trying very hard not to barrel into any more cute tattooed hipsters as I did. Suddenly I realized I was still holding my drink (the Kit Kat Special is basically hot chocolate with a double shot of espresso doused liberally in caramel sauce and then topped with a mound of whipped cream and rainbow sprinkles, because I liked to consume my coffee like a five year old would) and it made me feel weirdly guilty so I quickly tossed the whole thing in a nearby trash can as I walked down the street to my job.

The Dragon’s Keep happened to both be my absolute favorite retail establishment and also my employer. Situated rather conveniently a four buildings down from Haven, it specialized in board games and board game accessories; a local institution for nearly a decade.

You know when you find a place and it just feels like you’re coming home? Like you walk in and something about it, something in the air just makes you feel like you belong there? That was the Keep for me. Greg—who’d been my very bestest friend since the 7th grade and still somehow decided to live with me anyway—and I had wandered in one day when we were Freshmen in college. He’d heard about it from a guy in one of his English classes; apparently if we were interested in tabletop RPGS it was the best place to go, and we were, so one weekend we made the trek together and then we basically never left.

Eventually Paulie—Chief Nerd and intrepid proprietor of The Dragon’s Keep—decided that if I was gonna be there all the time anyway he might as well pay me for it, so now I got to sell board games and such for a living. It was a pretty sweet gig even on its worst days. My dysfunctional little nerd family away from home, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I wrenched open the door to the familiar chimes tinkling away above my head and the sounds of a Warhammer model painting tutorial playing on the TV, mixed with the dulcet tones of a raging nerd debate going on right in the middle of the store. Ah, home.

Paulie stood behind the register with his bushy braided Viking beard and his way-too-muscular-for-a-middle-aged-nerd-arms, covered in tattoos and crossed across his broad expanse of chest, all stoically imposing even in cargo shorts and a Star Wars t-shirt. Meanwhile Steven was over by the roleplaying bookshelves half-heartedly dusting, and the two of them were shouting about what sounded like the merits of various Barbarian builds. Because of course they were.

“You’re late,” Paulie interrupted Steven’s rant with his normal booming voice; he sounded angry, but the trick was that Paulie always sounded angry. I knew him far too well to believe it. He had that ever-present twinkle in his blue-gray eyes, so I couldn’t really be in trouble.

And anyway, if he was going to fire me for my appalling lack of time management skills he would’ve done it a long long time ago.

“Guys I’m gonna die alone,” I said instead as I trudged insde to lean against the opposite side of the counter across from Paulie.

“Uh-oh.” He shot Steve a look.

“What happened?”

“Oh, you know, just ran into this super cute girl at Haven. Literally.”

“Oh no.”

“Oh yes.” I took a twisted sort of pleasure in confessing my crimes, like I could purge the embarrassment from my stomach by talking about it. “I knocked her coffee into her, fucking latte raining down from the heavens on us both, and then I perved on her chest, and then she bought me coffee while I forgot how human conversation works, and then I finally ran outta there like my hair was on fire.”

“Oh no, Cat,” Steven repeated in a delightful mixture of horror and amusement, and I could practiaclly hear Paulie’s wince.

“It was literally the worst thing that has ever happened to anyone in the history of forever and I want to actually die!”

“Yeesh kid.” That was Paulie’s attempt at sympathy. But at least he tried.

I just moaned in misery, burrying my head into my arms crossed on the counter while Paulie offered me a half-hearted shoulder pat.

“We have got to get you like a wingman or something dude,” Steven said.

“It wouldn’t help,” I muttered at the counter. I was definitely gettling like, face prints all over the glass. Someone was gonna have to wipe that down later. “I’m utterly hopeless, a 100% Certified Lesbian Disaster doomed to die alone in an apartment with like, eighty cats. I’m gonna be that lady. No one will find my body for weeks because all the stupid cats will have eaten me.”

“Morbid Cat!” Paulie gave me a horrified laugh.

“But you gotta admit,” Steve replied, “pretty ironic.”

I couldn’t see his face but I just knew he was giving me one of his stupid little goofy grins he liked to use when he knew he’d made a particularly horrible joke, because Steven was a bad person and I hated him.

“Oh shut up!” I pretended to snap at him in offence.

“Hey, you know what’ll really take your mind off of your romantic failures kiddo?” Paulie asked then, his voice entirely too cheery for the present situation.

“What boss?” I replied reluctantly, looking up and resting my chin on my hand.

“Selling board games of course!” He laughed his stupid bellowing Viking laugh and I rolled my eyes.

“Ugh. Can’t I take a personal day on account a’ all my trauma?”

“Nope, there’s orders to be filled in the back! Go, go.”

And then I was unceremoniously ushered away to the back office, whining the entire short trip around the counter and through the doorway there. I couldn’t help but smile just a bit, once I was out of sight. Paulie tried to project this air of a Gruff No-Nonsense Army Guy, but he was totally just a big ol’ softie under all those layers of nerdy t-shirt and muscle. He cared, about everyone, deeply, and he always had, had cared about me right from the first day I started working here.

The other boys did too; Steven, Walt, Ryan, even Jake, our newest minion. I kind of loved them, even if I would never admit that fact, even on pain of death. Working at The Keep was like working with a bunch of annoying older brothers. Comforting in its familiarity, that way.

I think, as far as first jobs went, I had gotten pretty lucky. It had its days, as all jobs did, but if I had to sell my soul to the institution of Capitalism I was glad to do it in a place that let me wear jeans and curse while I gently bullied a group of hopeless straight boys.

The rest of my workday passed as they often did. There were stretches of tedious nonsense (receiving and logging new inventory should’ve been listed in the Geneva Conventions as literal war crime, as far as I was concerned) mixed with moments of goofy nonsense and nerdy conversations and amusing interactions with our deeply weird customer base, all of it orchestrated to the background noise of board game demos and other related YouTube content playing on our video feed. Sure, it wasn’t exactly life-changing work, but I got to introduce a cute young couple to a few of my favorite two-player games and one of our regulars brought us cupcakes, and that’s a good day in my books.

I got home aorund 5-ish to Greg cooking dinner and Ginj drawing on her iPad at the kitchen table, anime playing on the TV. Whatever Greg was making smelled deliciously garlicky and my stomach rumbled in response. God I loved that he cooked. I mean, the fact that his favorite hobby was looking up fancy recipes from the internet and then trying to make them wasn’t neccessarily the entire basis of our friendship—I had known and loved him far too long for that—but it was definitely a perk.

Greg was, at this point, basically my Platonic Life Partner. We’d been friends since we were literal children, 12 years old, and somehow, despite all rational expectations, he hadn’t managed to get sick of me yet. At this point he wouldn’t be able to get rid of me even if he tried. I wouldn’t let him.

But I did love him, truly. He’d been there for some of the absolute worst moments of my life, and I’d been there for him in return. We had the sacred Lesbian-Gay Boy bond, and when his parents got a little Weird after he came out officially, it was my mom who became his support system. He fought with my brothers as if they were his own, and he had become an honorary member of the Stern clan in his own right.

You wouldn’t think he was the kind of guy who would be my ride-or-die bestie just by looking at him. Greg was kind of an enigma, a walking mess of contradictions. He was all Captain American Corn-Fed American Boy Realness on the outside, sandy blonde hair and blue eyes and a chin that could cut glass, but if you’d talked to him longer than five seconds you would realize that at the end of the day, he was just a really confident, unapologetically gay weirdo, obsessed with Lord of the Rings and deeply obscure anime as much as he was with football and classic rock.

But in a way, I loved him all the more for it.

“Hey Cat,” he said with a casual shrug of his shoulders, that merry little twinkle in his eyes as he flexed his chopping skills on an eggplant.

“Hello Housewife,” I replied with a mad giggle, stealing a slice of carrot from his chopping board and ducking out of range when he tried to elbow me back.

Ginj laughed at us and my heart felt so full, all of a sudden. That warm glowy-homey feeling that I got sometimes at moments like this, struck with the reminder that somehow, against all odds, I had found a place to belong. There was a long stretch of time there where I wasn’t even sure I was gonna make it out alive, that it nearly knocked me over to realize that I had. Where would I be in the world without these two, honestly?

At that point I’d practically forgotten all about The Coffee Girl Incident. There was too much good stuff going on. Everything in that moment was safe and right and good, and I was starting to believe it always would be, which was a rather novel experience to my still clincially-depressed and anxiety-riddled ass.

Until Ginger had to go and ruin it by making a stupid joke about coffee at dinner.

So I pulled her hair and she hit me and Greg threatened to send us to our rooms without dessert. Just a normal weekday dinner, really. And then I was far too busy eating a delicious home-cooked meal with two of my favorite people on Earth to care about silly stuff like spilled lattes and pretty blue-eyed girls.

I mean, I would probably be obsessing about the whole embarrasing incident for the rest of my life, especially when I was trying to sleep, but for now I focused on better things. I wouldn’t let it bother me. And such was the magic of Greg’s cooking, that just for a moment, I almost believed it too.

But of course, Fate wasn’t done with me just yet.

[seasideretreat]

Idiocy

I like the English language, but I am not sure I like it. You know, the weird thing is that the English have a colourful culture but a drab language; the Dutch have a colourful language but a drab culture. I like writing in Dutch, because it is easy to create a very thick sound; in English, this is much more difficult; however, English can sound very rich and eloquent, but it takes much more imagination. An example: in Dutch, "Ik volsta met volledige uitbundigheid in de vrome veranderlijkheden van het leven." In English, "I suffice with full exuberance in the pious vicissitudes of life." I think the English sounds much drier and clumsier. Here's a sentence from Bertrand Russell: "The speculations of the past as to the reality or unreality of the world of physics were baffled, at the outset, by the absence of any satisfactory theory of the mathematical infinite." In Dutch: "De speculaties van het verleden betreffende de werkelijkheid of onwerkelijkheid van de wereld van de natuurkunde werden verbijsterd, reeds bij aanvang, door de afwezigheid van een bevredigende theorie van het wiskundig oneindige." Here there is little difference as to the sound of the sentences. I must admit it is a very dry text. Still, I can't think of expressive English. It all seems rather tired and cumbersome to me.

I could try to write a gracious English sentence. "Naturally, the folly of being oneself is off-set by the horrid deficiencies of quotidian existence." That's a stupid sentence. "The institution of a more refined religious order was founded on the learnedness of a few select gentlemen of great intellect." Also stupid. "No man escapes the clutches of old age, for time is the great equalizer; it is our fate to bow down to the progress of bodily and mental decay, for we are insignificant next to the glorious splendour of the Divine - a textual necessity that overpowers the senses and makes us pine for the revolutions of the greater wisdom of the truly doctoral men, who do what they can to improve the education of the everyman; and even though I have no qualities of my own, I beg God for forgiveness; there is a structure to the existence of the mean, and I am just a being amongst many others, but I try to think; I must think, for as long as there are beings in ignorance, because I may save them: the cogitation is the consideration of always-time, that transcends ordinal capacity in most ways, and makes us see the most high: so there." I guess we really can't speak proper English. The true calling of English is to be a neutral language amongst all the others, but we can't escape from its pragmatism, and its universality. People think English is easy, I don't think that's fair. I have no command over English, even though I have worked quite dilligently at it.

I don't want to say anything meaningful. Today was an almost perfect day. Yet here I am, writing. Writing is not bad, but it's late and I ain't got nothing to do, and I suppose I am just gonna be writing; whereas, if I had already written by blog-post for today, I could've been writing something else - something more important, perhaps - during this time, like a diary. Don't we all need a diary? I write a blog post every day; I reserve about three hours for it every day; that's a long time, so I figure I'd put them in the morning when I would otherwise be sleeping; that basically means I get up at eight, instead of eleven; now I really like sleeping out, just like I like eating bread late at night, but these are habits that you have to overcome, perhaps; at any rate, I am at a better point in my life right now, and I can start making these changes to my routine; I think it's pretty good when you think about it. I'll tell you something, in fact I believe I'd write all day long if I started writing early in the morning, I am pretty inspired most of the time, and I could write all day, but the thing is this damned blog, which is the core of my writing activity, takes up so much mental energy that I can't write much otherwise, but maybe I can if I have already done it early in the morning; and you know, I follow those light academia blogs and I figure it's nice and light academia to write in the morning; you know, sleeping out isn't necessary, certainly not every day; I dunno, I just really like it, but I will try getting up a little earlier tomorrow to write this frickin' blog, with a nice cup of coffee at my side; it'll be nice, but I ain't gonna set an alarm, I am not crazy, I am not gonna set an alarm on a free day! And you know, good writing is mostly thinking, I suppose; like when we are revising something or just pondering what to write next and skimming over the text pensively, that's all very nice and light academia, and we should cherish those things.

You know, in real academia they cherish concision above most other things, but there's nothing concise about the humanities for instance, and frankly I never felt like I was being very pithy when I was writing my thesis and all that; but I really miss university, even when I was in dire straights, you know, I was really unhappy during my Masters. An asshole I told this actually replied by saying that I should then remember that everybody's got it hard all the time - what an asshole! It my hard time! Certainly everybody's got it rough but we can have a hard time; certainly in hindsight you're not gonna say to someone his period wasn't rough; with the power of hindsight a man can certainly tell whether or not he had a hard time, and I tell you I was very unhappy during my Masters. You know, there were nice people everywhere but everybody seemed like a jerk to me. I just couldn't enjoy a moment of it, and I wasn't involved at all; be that as it may, it was a kind of interesting time in some peculiar ways, but on the whole it was just horribly wretched, and I wish I was in the state I was today during my college days; but you know, this is how it goes; and in many ways, my dad, in the years before he died, he really taught me how to count my blessings, you know? During those hard years; you know, better times have come, but I can still look back on those hard times and see the advantages I got, thanks to my dad; so in that sense he was a clever fellow. Anyway, my Masters. I keep trying to see some value in what I did, you know, I feel like you're not even allowed to say you worked hard; and I was so goddamned distracted all the time; but maybe I worked hard, I can't really tell. Yeah, my masters was so confusing. I went crazy during that time, you know? I am kind of pleased I didn't do a Masters in history, but Asian Studies really doesn't seem like much of a field, it's so damned unfocussed - I guess I still focussed on the history for the most part, you know, I could say I am a historian, but I resent that title. Anyway, they didn't really consider my writing to be very academic at the university - but I passed anyway, I guess because the content was good; before, my content was less good but the writing was better, I got a higher grade out of that; but I don't feel like I learned anything. And there's this saying, right? "Those who come to learn, learn nothing, those who come to teach learn a great deal." And I never taught anything I think. Still, that ain't quite true. You write your thesis as a kind of teaching. But I don't know what I learned. It was all so chaotic. You know, I can really read, you know, when I really have to; and intelligently, I can read between the lines; and I love reading a book ardently, you know? But it takes so much goddamn energy. You know, I reserve time to write, mostly because I enjoy writing, but yeah, I dunno. You know, I wanna read a book well, so that I can write better, that's the process. But there ain't no book really worth reading. I am reading A history of God by Karen Armstrong and it is a nice read, but I will not be reading it ardently; you know, these kinds of popular science books are more meant for passive knowledge, I'd say; you just read them and you remember what you remember; but there are books with subtle truths that you really have to read carefully; then you try to remember everything, I suppose, and nothing at the same time. The next book I want to read is Lipsius' On Constancy, and I suppose it would be ideal to read ardently: but it is a long book, and I don't have forever. The thing is I don't even want to read it half the time. There's so much to read. I read The Bible too. That's also vastly time-consuming, and not very rewarding; but The Bible is a guide in life, and everything you know about it is profit. Anyway, I was also reading a history book about Dutch history; and you know, you remember quite a bit from a good book, but I don't know what I want to remember, I just want to be a better scientist, but I don't know what my field is.

You know, I figured I could be a metaphysician, but that's the thing, there ain't much need for metaphysics, and it takes so much inspiration, you know? You just can't be a metaphysician most of the time. So yeah, I could write about Asia. That's my field, right? Asian Studies. But I don't want to write about Asia. You know, I just want to be learned; I love the humanities and I believe in the meaning of life probably and I am sure I could be a scholar, but I don't want to waste my life peddling idle knowledge that has no relevance, or something. You know, I am standing behind my desk, it's height-adjustable so I can stand behind my desk, it's pretty nice, because I have been sitting a lot today and I just lost a bit of vitality in that way. It's bad, but yeah, I don't know what to do most of the time, I don't really like reading all that much, and I can't really write most of the time because I don't want to spam the internet too much, you know I just want to provide nice dependable content that people can enjoy, but this is what I am saying, if I read a book at some point maybe I could write something that'll actually improve people's lives. You know, I am very interested in stoicism but the knowledge of stoicism is rather arduous, you know? Most people don't really see it as meaningful thought; there's something difficult about it, something problematic, and nobody knows what philosophy is supposed to do anymore; that's why I reserve room for metaphysics, but as I said, there ain't a whole of demand for that nowadays; you know, we just don't want any metaphysics; and it's all pretty weird anyway. You know, I don't know what the point of anything really is, I like writing and I suppose people'll like to read something that is more or less intentional and purposeful, you know, something that has a sense. But yeah, it's weird. I could've written something interesting today; you know, I just feel Asian Studies is such a tiresome field; you know, I just have nothing to say really, I feel like people'll just be glad to read something grammatical half the time; you know, even though I personally can't stand wasting time reading something long-winded; but you can just scroll through it, nobody forces you to read the whole thing, that's the benefit of writing over podcasts or something; but I can imagine someone will like just getting lost in one of these posts, accepting the verbiage and just being glad that there are words here, you know? That there is an author. You know what, reading is such a time-consuming activity; and that's why I post on Twitter as well; but I have more to say, I don't want to be limited to just a bunch of one-liners; this blog is my passion, I suppose; but yeah, as I said, I have to read more to write better, and I am just gonna keep writing this blog in this totally useless fashion that doesn't do anyone any good; it's just a jumble of words, maybe; but yeah, as I am saying, there's is an author here, who is writing something every day; you know, if I had an audience, I am sure someone would like it; it's like a column in a newspaper maybe, only more wordy; I dunno, it's just a pastime perhaps; you know, I don't see it is as a burden to keep this blog, it's probably the high-point of my day, but as I say, I wanna start writing in the mornings so that I can do other things during the rest of the day, you know, there's something very nice about just sitting around doing nothing all day, but yeah, getting up early is a wholesome thing as well, probably, you know, I don't know, maybe having regularity from day to day is nice, you know, a day when you sleep out till eleven o'clock is basically a day spend doing nothing, whereas if you wake up at eight, make a cup of coffee and really sit down and write something good, you have a productive day right off the bat. And it is light academia, a little bit. Anyway, I am not fooling anyone, taking a bunch of courses at uni is not going to make you a learned man, I really have to read a book, I am thinking Lipsius' On Constancy.

I am in a good place right now and I could really make it work. You know, I love studying, but the key to studying is making a precise border between the material and the excogitation. The material is really pointless, you don't have to know it at all, but you should still read it as best you can, because otherwise you won't pass and all that, and you won't have learned anything (which can cause a wide range of problems in your life). The excogitation, however, is when you stay frosty at the test, actually read the questions, let go of everything you've learned and come up with genius answers. That ain't easy, but if you've done the reading you will probably succeed, but you really need to be able to think and pay attention, I dunno, I just had some really bad experiences at tests, you know, I am not really that good at learning. You know, I like it when people say I am smart, I hate it when they say I am good at learning, because they can't know that; but you can kind of tell someone is smart, I think, just by what they say I suppose, and maybe by their actions. Anyway, I am excogitating superbly these days, but I ain't reading. Well, I am reading, and that's pretty good, but I am not reading ardently, I don't have a handbook, you know, whereas that is very important, maybe, to have, a nice handbook, but as I said, there ain't no good books. Of course, I could be reading Seneca and Cicero and maybe even Aristotle, but I wouldn't be reading them ardently, you see, because they are no handbooks, just feeble texts that we have to read; because this is what it is, the state of the art has moved forward tremendously since antiquity, and we can't rely on old learning anymore, although probably in the humanities people still rely on old learning for many things, mostly Aristotle, because those names still carry a lot of weight, and maybe a lot of people in the humanities aren't really all that smart. This is what I hated about university: the staff think they're really smart, but they're really not, they've just blindly accepted the reality of the university, that is quoting from a bunch of convoluted books and writing dense prose that nobody wants to read. However, it seems there isn't really any real humanities anymore; you know traditions were always very important for the humanities, but tradition is a weak thing, just like modernity; and obviously, the humanities only really had stature in the days of religion, when they were still the harbinger of true progress. But we've secularized the universities, but the humanities can never fully secularize. I am just thinking: what can you do with Asian Studies? You know, do I know Asia? To think: does a student of English know England? Obviously, the question of Asia is a factual question; the question of Asian Studies is a cognitive question. What have I learned studying Asian Studies? Mostly the centrality of religion in our thinking lives. But that's an easy answer. You know, secular knowledge. Is that a thing? I don't know. It could be. I don't know, I suppose this is just something I'll have to find out in time.

[heretherebedork]

Are there any specific BL shows you would recommend to someone just getting into the genre?

Hmmm. This is always a hard one for me! Because there are so amazing ones but so many of them should come with warning and also if I start on the really good ones what happens when you finish those and realize the rest aren't that great?

Also, how do I give advice without knowing who I'm advising and their taste? That's the biggest issue for me with an 'intro course' because you never know what people like and don't like. There are people who hate every. single. show. I've recommended here.

Now, to clarify, I started on what I call the Netflix route. I watch The Untamed and then SOTUS and then found Viki and watched Love By Chance and that got me into the fandom. Would that work for everyone? Not a chance. But it just goes to show you that anything can get someone into a fandom if that's what they like.

So this is a list of BL shows i feel show the best of the industry... and a few on the list that are there because they show you what MOST of the industry is like as well. Take a sampling. Try a few shows. Don't limit yourself to any single country or genre. Sample.

There's SO much out there. You never know where your taste may take you. Search BL on My Drama List. Ask multiple people for where to get started. Look at gifsets on here and see what appeals. My taste may not be your taste, my idea of amazing may not be yours, my idea of the best of the best may not fit in with what you like.

So... ANYWAY. Disclaimer out of the way! Here's my list of where to start based on what I think is a good intro to BL itself through amazing shows and also trope-filled shows.

1. A Tale of A Thousand Stars: The story of a rich young man who needs a heart transplant, gets it from a young woman who was a volunteer teacher in a poor village and falls in love with one of the soldiers in the village. Absolutely lovely. Just fantastic. Gorgeous characters, amazing setting, fantastic story. Seriously. This will spoil you for a lot of lesser shows but if you start with it you'll know how good the genre can get.

2. Cherry Magic: Adachi is an office worker who considers himself awkward and boring and not very good at anything... until he turns 30, gains the power to read minds from being a virgin and discovers that the top worker at his office, Kurosawa, has a huge crush on him. The softest, sweetest, most gentle BL and just fantastic. Highest of the high recommendations. Seriously. A great place to start.

3. He's Coming to Me: Mes is a ghost. He's been dead for a long time. And Thun has been visiting, and seeing him, since he was a child. When Thun is going to University, he ends up taking Mes with him and their real adventure begins. Warning for death but holy shit is this one good. So good. Absolutely amazing and wonderful, plot-driven, a need to watch show.

4. Until We Me Again: WARNING: SUICIDE AND DEATH. In and Korn were forbidden lovers 30 years ago. Dean and Pharm dream of them every night and recognize each other on sight. Fate brings them together but can fate really lead to true love? An amazing show, absolutely beautiful, deep characters, deep plot, filled to the brim with emotion and highly recommended but heed the warning, okay?

5. Be Loved In House: I Do: When Shi Lei's new boss, Yu Zhen, takes over the jewelry store and introduces a rule that everyone working there must be single, Shi Lei is ready to throw hands for his friends. So what happens when he slowly finds himself falling in love with that strange man? This is just such a soft little show, filled with joy and softness and idiots. Absolutely a great place to start yourself on Taiwen BL.

6. All the Korean BL movies: I know that this is just a label but, like, literally all of these are soft and short and a great place to start to just get a feel for the shows coming out of Korea. Not as trope-y but just generally... good. ALWAYS watch the movie version.

Wish You: Tiny musician catches the eye of someone working for a record label

Where Your Eyes Linger: Bodyguard and the boy he guards

To My Star: Puppy movie star (who's more neurotic than he lets on) meets stiff chef (who's softer than he lets on)

Color Rush: In a world where a portion of the population can only see in shades of grey until they meet the person that lets them see in color... and are considered dangerous for this... a mono meet a probe. The best of the bunch!

Mr Heart: A marathon runner has stopped winning and another young man is hired to help him get back to winning. Honestly the weakest of these in my humble opinion.

Nobleman Ryu's Wedding: Historical Idiots being historically soft and historically stupid. That's is. Young man dresses as a woman to cover up that his sister ran away from an important marriage but the groom ends up loving him regardless.

7. Light on Me: A student who's never had a friend is convinced to at least give it a try and joins the student council where he meets a sweet young man, a jokester and an awkward and confrontational young man... and there's a lover triangle because what else would there be? Oh, this one is SO good and so soft and very emotional and sweet and has a fantastic love triangle and introduces you to tropes very smartly. Definitely a good place to slip into the genre and see how the tropes get played.

8. Ingredients: A chef lives with a musician and takes care of him every turn. Yes, it's an extended ad series. But it's also soft BL filled with every trope imaginable and it's a good place to just let yourself get used to Thai BL and how it feels.

9. Oxygen: When a rich young man who can't sleep finds himself at a coffee shop in the middle of the night, there's no way he expected to meet the love of his life. But when the barista offers him warm milk to help him sleep? He's lost. I put this one on here with a few reservations because there's a side pairing that is just horrible (skip all scenes with the doctors and the coffee shop coworker for your own good, okay?) but the rest of the show is just so good and so soft and I love it so much.

10. My Engineer: A sassy freshman meets a senior engineering student who is SERIOUSLY into getting sassed. A quiet introvert meets an extrovert who refuses to give up. One friend has been pining for years and has decided friendship is good enough. This one, again, goes on with reservations. It's a good start for getting into most of the more typical Thai BLs. Gives you the regular tropes, gives you the more typical relationship and friendship things... This is a good place to start if you want to be prepared for most of what you're going to watch, frankly.

There. I'll stop there. I think that's a good set. @absolutebl may have some more ideas? I kinda went basic on this list, no denials. And maybe a bit weird as well. No denials.

[arielxlazarus]

I almost forgot about that fanfic appreciation week, but I wanted to at least do something for it! So here's a rec list for some of my favorite fics in the one piece fandom!

This list is not at all exhaustive btw (there's still loads of other fics in the fandom that I love), so please don't feel bad if you weren't included! Also if anyone wants more recommendations from me, you can check out my bookmarks on my ao3!

Who Knows (what could happen) by Chromi

Rating: T

Pairing: Masked Deuce/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: For as long as he could remember, he had wanted to set out to sea as an adventurer. His father, unfortunately, dictated that he was to follow the family tradition and become a doctor instead.

Following a lifetime of hurt and sorrow at the hands of his family, he eventually breaks free and takes to the sea alone - determined to keep it that way. Fate has other ideas in store for him; fate crosses his path with Portgas D. Ace's, a brand new pirate.

And what does he hate more than pirates?

Nothing.

Or: from Sixis to the Moby Dick - the lives of the Spade pirates.

First Time by Chromi

Rating: E

Pairing: Masked Deuce/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: "Because it is Ace, and it will only ever be Ace, that he wants to see like this, and he wants to be responsible for unravelling him down to his core and loving him to his very center."

In which Ace and Deuce go all the way for the first time.

@chromiwrites

Seabound by AnkhPosts

Rating: T

Pairing: Masked Deuce/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: Ace is a selkie, making one of his periodic stops on land to catch a breather and get some ridiculously tasty human food, maybe see some sights if there are any. His pelt is safely hidden, he'll stay a day or two at most and be on his way.

Deuce is a mer, alone on the sea and traveling as he pleases for the first time in his life, and while he might not be terribly interested in actually interacting with humans it's hard not to see them as fascinating.

Ace meets Deuce. Deuce meets Ace. Neither knows the other isn't human.

@ankhposts

Death is only the beginning by Chizyk

Rating: T

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: “Ankhreshet?” he whipped his head round at the sound of a raspy voice so fast he almost got whiplash. He could feel his body going completely cold as he saw the mummy’s empty eye sockets staring right at him.

@chizyk

I'm Still Here (part of a series) by theprodigypenguin

Rating: M

Pairing: Masked Deuce/Portgas D. Ace (also Izou/Sabo later in the series)

Summary: "When I do die, don't bother burying me in that empty grave. Put my body in a boat and set me out to sea. Let me sleep eternal on the ocean that my father loved so much; because before everything else in this world, I am a child of the sea, and when I die, I want to return to it. Put me in a boat and set it aflame so I can go down in the same fire I lived."

Forget-Me-Not Fall by theprodigypenguin

Rating: M

Pairing: Izou/Sabo

Summary: “Most of the nobles I’ve met tonight look meticulously put together. They look like they were built to portray a certain image paralleled a hundred times over. People who were copied and pasted. Flawless clothes, flawless faces, flawless makeup, flawless hair.”

“Not me though,” Sabo stated, and Izou hummed.

“It’s comforting.”

“Huh?”

Izou met Sabo’s eye. “Everyone else in this place hides their worst attributes with a mask they modified to fit their faces. They don’t seem to comprehend that those perfect masks only make their worst characteristics more pronounced and defined.” His expression was terribly gentle as his eyes wandered across Sabo’s face. “It’s comforting to be approached by someone not trying to be something else.”

Sabo tilted his head. “How do you know I’m not manipulating you like some common Goa aristocrat?”

Izou smiled. “There are a few reasons.”

@theprodigypenguin

A Light To Guide You Home by TheSkyIsMyHome

Rating: T

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: In a world that despises mutants, Ace lives purely to protect his little brother.

Until the flames inside him find their perfect match and opposite, and he doesn't know what to feel anymore.

The Phoenix's Mate by TheSkyIsMyHome

Rating: E

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: Marco is a handsome man. Ace really can't be blamed for being attracted to him. Nobody minds, either.

But Marco isn't always a man. Ace still loves him regardless, and his sexual urges are catching up to that fact.

Marco indulges him, but he might just find himself enjoying it more than he thought he would.

@evvazi

ASL in Red (series) by Kereea

Rating: G-T

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace, Monkey D. Luffy/Trafalgar D. Water Law (both asexual), Koala/Sabo, Akagami no Shanks | Red-Haired Shanks/Benn Beckman, Donquixote "Corazon" Rosinante/Aokiji | Kuzan, Roronoa Zoro/Sanji, and several other minor ones

Summary: In an alternate universe, forces conspired to put Ace, Sabo, and Luffy in the care of the Red Hair pirates as children.

The Grand Line would never know what hit it.

Mates (part of a series) by Deubatty

Rating: E

Pairing: Masked Deuce/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: Deuce just wanted to go searching for plants! A nice walk in the woods. Except, he ends up becoming the mate to a very persistent naga

His First Mate The Mermaid (part of a series) by Deubatty

Rating: T

Pairing: Masked Deuce/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: Instead of finding another person on Sixis, Ace finds a mermaid

@masked-writer

Being Human by MaiKusakabe

Rating: E (no smut)

Pairing: None (heavy focus on the platonic relationships between Marco, Whitebeard, and the rest of the crew as they form)

Summary: The line that differentiates human from object appears to be clear, but sometimes it blurs to the point where it is impossible to tell where one ends and the other begins.

The Unknown Devil by MaiKusakabe

Rating: E

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: Ace hadn’t expected his last week of imprisonment before his execution to be any different from all the years preceding it. Then again, he hadn’t expected to have Marco the Phoenix as a cellmate for that week, or that Marco’s presence would shake his bleak world so much.

Ripple Effect by MaiKusakabe

Rating: E

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: After the incident with Shanks, Garp didn't take Luffy to Dadan's, unaware of how much that would change the life of his other grandson.

@maisstories

To Build a Home by endlessblankpages

Rating: G

Pairing: None (heavy focus on the platonic relationships between the ASL bros and the Whitebeard Pirates)

Summary: The ASL pirates are used to being accused of crimes they didn't commit. But when they're accused of destroying a small village in the New World, it sends them hurtling toward a deadly confrontation with the strongest man in the world, Whitebeard. The results are not what they were expecting.

Persistence & The Impossible (part of a series) by dragonsfall

Rating: T

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: In order to keep himself from losing his job, Ace takes on an impossible story. Get an interview with the ever-elusive Phoenix. Guess he might as well kiss his job goodbye.

Self Discovery (part of a series) by dragonsfall

Rating: E

Pairing: Izou/Sabo (sort of, it's technically masturbation)

Summary: Sabo has been waiting for a day like this for a while but it doesn’t go quite how he planned it.

@clockworkpanic

A Breach of Intention by Depths

Rating: T

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: It was unspoken, but some pirate crews and mermaids had an unspoken solidarity. Pirates throw their enemies overboard, and the merfolk will take care of them.

mer!ace au

@leviathiane

Running on All Sixes by lunarshores

Rating: E

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace, minor Izou/Thatch

Summary: The Whitebeard gang might be one of the most influential in the city, but to Marco they're just his family. Though he sometimes wishes they'd just leave him alone, especially when Izo's playing matchmaker, and Ace is his usual oblivious self. When a brother betrays them, they'll have to fight to show why no one ever messes with their family.

nothing is impossible with you by lunarshores

Rating: T

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: Five times Ace and Marco accidentally mixed their flames on accident and one time that was entirely on purpose.

@lunarshores

I Want You to Look at Me by shockandlock

Rating: E

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: One night, Marco is missing from dinner, so Ace decides to bring dinner to him. He's surprised to see Marco wearing glasses and now he can't stop thinking about the way he looks. Now with additional chapter(s) including more miscellaneous MarcoAce PWP!

To My Dear Fire (part of a series) by shockandlock

Rating: T

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: Living in the city is a new thing for Ace. After being raised near a cozy coastal mountain town through his childhood, it's definitely a change of pace, but it doesn't help when he loses his new job after an unfortunate encounter with actor Marco Newgate. He just wants to live-- and meet his long time pen pal, Phoenix.

Marco knows that being an actor is hard, so he takes the little things when he can: writing his pen pal (and honestly one of his best friends) Fire Fist, flirting with the cute new waiter at his favorite café-- not that he has a chance after a disaster on social media. But maybe fate really does give him a second chance when Ace shows up at Four Emperor Studios...

@shockandlock

Uncharted Territory by silverwolf_fox

Rating: E

Pairing: Masked Deuce/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: This was by far one of Ace's most ridiculous ideas.

When Deuce keeps getting flustered everytime he tries to dominate Ace, they created an opportunity where he didn't have to be afraid of messing up.

Now he's free to do and try whatever he wants...

...so long as Ace doesn't wake up.

Watching the Sunrise (part of a series) by silverwolf_fox

Rating: T

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: Many years have passed since Rouge gave up her life for her son’s...except she didn’t die, but she thinks Ace did. Living her life on Baterilla, she’s mourned each and every day until the morning she receives his bounty poster. She sets off immediately to find him, but finds their meeting isn’t as easy as she’d imagined.

@the-devil-fruit-tree

never shall i forget, how you climbed out of a dream by siojo

Rating: T

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: “Kaido,” Ace smirks, flames burning around his feet as he shifts in preparation for Kaido’s next attack, already trying to decide what he’s going to do in response. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it? You’ve seemed to have been enjoying yourself here.”

“I thought you would be smarter than this, Portgas. You’ve never tried to fight another Yonko before, your bounty won’t matter much when you lose.”

Ace barks a laugh, his teeth bared in a facsimile of a grin, “You must have missed out on the brawl I had with Big Mom after she sent two of her daughters and a son for me to consider marrying. This is a bit more personal than that.”

@wordsdrippinginink

Reborn in Fire by aerle

Rating: M

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: Fireman Marco has earned the nickname 'the Phoenix' by saving numerous people from a certain death. After an accident however, he has to relearn to walk and gets a new job as arson inspector at a different fire station. There he gets confronted with a boy from his past, now all grown up and gorgeous.

Three's a Crowd, Four's a Double Date by aerle

Rating: M

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace (main), Izou/Thatch (secondary)

Summary: "We're not dating," Marco said definitively. "That we're sharing a bed tonight is a total coincidence."

@aerle

Universal Dive by EmpressKira

Rating: M

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: Ace had been making his way through the city to go to one of his favorite cafes. Well, that was until this hole ripped in the sky and some pirate fell out with the flaming bird guy following. Getting targeted, he is dragged into a different world with pirates and everything defying the reality he is used to. Will he make it home? Will he go back when the time comes?

@empresskira

Blue moon (series) by de_Winter

Rating: T-M

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: Urban fantasy AU, werewolf Marco and witch Ace

Red Velvet by de_Winter

Rating: E

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: Ace already knew their routine by heart, just from observing them for a couple of mornings when he had early delivery, and from Izou’s daily long winded—and probably sexually frustrated—rants. Big Blond would come out of the bakery wearing a shirt too tight for him and too thin for the weather as soon as he was done setting up the tables inside the storefront, holding a take out cup and a small box in his big hands. They looked really, pleasantly big from where Ace was standing, and he honestly wished he wasn't standing that far away.

@dee-de-winter

We'll Look Back and Laugh at Ourselves by JuHuaTai

Rating: M

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace, minor Gol D. Roger/Portgas D. Rouge

Summary: Between his new boyfriend and his workaholic boss, Marco felt like he was surrounded by family issues of the father and son dispute variety. Maybe it was just a coincidence.

Or maybe he should've listened to the office gossip more. Maybe then he'd figure it out sooner.

Gratitude of the Phoenix (part of a series) by JuHuaTai

Rating: M

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: [Based on 'The Crane Wife' Folklore]

One day, he saved a bird from freezing to death in a trap. Then, a stranger saved him from suffering the same fate, and a request to stay for one night turned into having someone to fill the void left in the small cottage and in his heart ever since his brothers left.

These two incident doesn’t seem to be related to one another, but they both changed Ace’s life in ways he could never have imagined.

Watashitachi wa Roger kaizoku desu (we still stand proud) by stereden

Rating: T

Pairing: None (heavy focus on Buggy, Shanks, and Crocus)

Summary: The Roger Pirates disappeared after their Captain's death, and were happy enough to let the Marines forget about them.

Until the Marines decide to execute their Captain's son, that is.

@stereden

This Bites! by Xomniac

Rating: M

Pairing: None (heavy focus on a main character oc and the strawhat pirates)

Summary: Sea Kings, sea-sickness, sunburns, a 95% genocidal Navy and more than a million and one other assorted ways to die. It's official: Being inserted into an anime sucks ass... Buuut I guess it could be worse. I mean, look on the bright side: At least I'm sailing with the future king of the pirates.

A Fortune that Never Grows Old by imperialmint

Rating: E

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: It's one thing to get butterflies in your stomach when you seen an attractive person but it's another thing entirely for Marco to want to stomp out a courtship ritual and lay foundations for a nest when he meets the navy's new (hot) secret weapon.

@imperialmint

Most of the authors on this list have many other excellent one piece fics I'd definitely suggest checking out! Enjoy your reading and try to show them all some love if you can!

[lokiondisneyplus]

Warning: This post contains spoilers for Loki episode 5.

The penultimate episode of Loki introduced several new variations on its titular mischief-maker — including Jack Veal's Kid Loki, Deobia Oparei's Boastful Loki, and Tom Hiddleston's ill-fated President Loki. But of all these new faces, perhaps the most memorable was Richard E. Grant's aptly-named Classic Loki — an older, world-weary version of the Asgardian god we know and love.

Decked out in the familiar green-and-yellow suit from the comics, Grant's Loki is older and perhaps a bit wiser than his younger counterparts. Years of isolation have left him disillusioned and lonely, missing his brother Thor, but that spark of mischief is still buried deep underneath — and he ultimately sacrifices himself to help Loki (Hiddleston) and Sylvie (Sophia Di Martino) escape the Void.

It's a delightful showcase for the 64-year-old Grant, who says he's thrilled to be able to carve out his own chaotic corner of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Ahead of the series finale this week, EW caught up with Grant to break down his big sacrifice — as well as his newfound friendship with Owen Wilson and his pitch for a Loki spin-off series.

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: To start, I have to ask about your costar: How was working with Alligator Loki?

RICHARD E. GRANT: Alligator Loki was fantastic because in reality, he was three stuffed sofa cushions that had been sewn roughly together to react to. [Laughs] The fact that I was the only person that could understand what he was saying was just fantastic. I think it's the perfect segue into having Classic Old Loki and Alligator Loki as a sub-series to go to next.

So it's safe to say that you would be willing to reprise this character down the line?

If I had a muscle suit, most certainly. I was denied that. I saw the costume design, and I was very familiar with Jack Kirby's original illustrations from the '60s, so I thought, "Ah, this guy's got muscles!" As I had been born without any, I was finally going to get in a muscle suit. I got to Atlanta [to begin filming], and they said, "There's no muscle suit! You're just wearing this!" I said, "But I look like Kermit the Frog!" They said, "Nope, you're not having a muscle suit." So I was very, very upset about that. [Laughs] Short-changed!

I was going to ask about your first impression when you first put on the costume!

That's what I asked: Where are the muscles? Where are the Stallone/Schwarzeneggers here? Because they're missing! This is what people will expect! This was in the costume drawing, and they're not here, and I don't have them! I was very upset.

When they first asked you to join the show, what was that initial pitch like?

I had known Tom Hiddleston socially for some years, and we'd always joked that we could feasibly play father and son because of our vague physical similarities and hairlines, certainly. So when I got this offer at the beginning of last year, before COVID, I thought, "Alright, this is that moment that I had hoped would come at some point." I thought I would play his father, but I'm playing a variant of him. So that's how that came about. I was thrilled.

Tom has been playing his version of Loki for a decade now. Did you get any guidance from him, or have any conversations with him that you found particularly helpful?

He is a walking Loki-pedia, so he was very, very informative about the whole etymology and the history of the Norse gods and Loki. He's also brilliant at imitating people. He goes on chat shows and imitates famous actors absolutely to the letter. I don't have that talent. So when I read the script of episode 5 that I was offered, I saw that [this older version of Loki] described himself in his backstory of being the god of outcasts — rather than the god of mischief, which is so absolutely embedded in Tom's interpretation of the role. So I thought, well, [if he's] the god of outcasts and is somebody who's been isolated for years and living on these planets and is willing to betray himself by going back and being arrested by the TVA and making the ultimate sacrifice, offering himself up to Asgard, I thought, well, this is somebody who is more in the twilight zone of his life, as am I. As opposed to a young man, who's full of mischief still.

So, I thought that was a way into interpreting this character, rather than trying to do — and something I couldn't possibly succeed at doing — a pale imitation of Tom Hiddleston.

I'd imagine that would be tricky, but it would also be a fun challenge: You're basically sharing scenes with all these different versions of the same character.

Exactly right. And I love the fact that he was the one person who could communicate with the alligator. I love that.

So would you now consider yourself fluent in alligator?

Indeed. I am the Doctor Dolittle of the Marvel universe when it comes to speaking to alligators. I speak alligator fluently. Put that in the contract of when I'm doing a series as Classic Old Loki, with muscles and the alligator. It'll have subtitles, so the audience can hear what the alligator is saying, and everyone else is saying, "What is he saying? What is he talking about?" That'll be the way.

I also wanted to ask about your big finale, where we see your Loki conjure Asgard. What do you remember most about filming that final moment?

Huge wind machines, blue screen in every direction, and following a camera on a crane that was maneuvering around the ceiling of the studio, and then swooping down. I was having to shout at it, and then finally laugh in the face of my own immolation. So it was a great thing to do, with these huge air turbine wind machines that were blowing four tons of air at me from every direction. It was exhilarating.

Did you have any practical elements around you at all, or did you have to imagine and conjure it all yourself?

Most of it you had to imagine. The actual landscape that you walked on was real grass and this sort of rocky landscape, but all the other elements — all the ships and all that stuff — was put in afterwards. We didn't see any of that.

The Loki palace that looked like a sort of bowling alley, that was all for real. Everything that you see in that scene was actually built and practical.

Was it chaotic to film in the bowling alley with all those different versions of Loki, bickering and bantering?

Because there was so much action involved, it was paint-dryingly slow, because action takes much longer to do than five pages of dialogue. I prefer talking, as I'm not exactly an action man, as you can see. [Laughs]

Was there anything about joining the Marvel universe that you weren't expecting or that really surprised you?

I didn't expect to find true love with Owen Wilson. We're having a surrogate baby together in October.

Oh, congratulations!

He was just so hilarious to work with. He's just one of the greatest characters I've ever met. He is so open and curious and amenable, with this sort of dry sense of humor. There seemed to be no divide between Owen Wilson acting his part and then just being Owen Wilson. I don't know if he was scamming me, but he was an absolute delight. I loved him.

Was there a particularly memorable day on set with him?

Yes, when we conceived our twins. [Laughs] No, my daughter encouraged me to post this thing on Twitter and Instagram, where he said, "Richard, I'm going to give you some acting advice. Put your camera on." I said, "Yes, okay!" I owe him for that because it got like 640,000 views already in a few days, which on my Instagram feed is off the chart. It's nothing for Beyoncé, but for mine, I'm pretty gobsmacked.