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neopronouns-in-action · 5 months ago

Text

Neopronouns in Action #095: Somatic Response

9k words long.

There are probably some typos still, please let me know if you find them.

A story where an escape slave realizes that nor very being has been tampered with, making nol compelled, on pain of death, to obey any order, or request, nox are given.

Because I read a racist story that brought this concept up like it was just a lighthearted joke and nothing to actually be concerned about, despite it being a real thing the protagonist should be concerned about, and wanted to fix it....and things got out of hand.

Neopronouns: nox/nol/nor/(nors)/nolself which follow the same rules as they/them/their/themself

Replace they with nox

Replace them with nol

Replace their with nor

Replace theirs with nors

Replace themself with nolself

Example paragraph:

"They are going to adopt a new puppy soon, as soon as they get a fence set up around their yard so the puppy can go outside without them having to walk it. Their uncle is going to help set up the fence, since he has a set of power tools he's letting them use, since they lost theirs. They're going to buy toys and train the puppy themself.”

Becomes:

"Nox are going to adopt a new puppy soon, as soon as nox get a fence set up around nor yard so the puppy can go outside without nol having to walk it. Their uncle is going to help set up the fence, since he has a set of power tools he's letting nol use, since nox lost nors. Nox're going to buy toys and train the puppy nolself.”

(archived read-more link)

___

It had been a mistake for Night to list “security guard” as nor occupation in the ship’s manifest. Nox should have just left it blank, or said nox were unemployed, or between jobs, or looking for employment, or on vacation, or whatever it was people said when they didn’t have a job. Or nox should have made something up; said nox were an artist, or something. Maybe a writer. Something that wouldn’t require any proof. Or just said any of the other numbers of jobs nox’d done; cook, janitor, farmhand, launderer, pest removal.

But Night had been nervous when filling out the form, and hadn’t wanted to have to stand there any longer than necessary, staring at the screen with the line of other passengers waiting behind nol with the feel of nor bruises still fresh, hidden beneath nor clothes, so nox had, in a moment of anxiety, defaulted back to what was closest to the truth: security guard; the only truly specialized job nox had ever had, though only against nor will.

Nox had spent nor whole life enslaved on the River Rise Plantation on Mars, situated along one of the smaller, less well-known canals, where tourists rarely ventured, and so were less likely to protest about the enslavement of the workers, if they even felt inclined to protest at all. It was owned and run by an Ezzekijj family, the ethnic majority on this part of Mars, the same group the current Planetary President was pushing as the most pure and ancient. Night's family were Idivet, the original inhabitants of what was now known as River Rise City.

Night could remember a few tours the owners had given to giddy tourists from planets where slavery was outlawed. Usually, they were the kind who wanted that to change. They wanted to take in some "ancient" Martian wisdom for twisting public opinion, and thus public law, into looking the other way when it came to slavery.

Because it was well known that slavery was not illegal on Mars, but not as well known, officially, that it was actually practiced.

Because those who kept other people as property, and those who were in the pockets of those who did, made a lot of official, outraged fanfare to the tune of “What kind of barbarians do you think we are that we’d need to make slavery illegal of all things? Do you Venusians, Earthlings, and Jovians need to also be told not to eat your own leg out from under you? Do you only have morals because you are afraid of punishment if you do not? Is the only reason you do not practice slavery the fact that it is illegal where you come from? Do you think we lack the same morals just because we do not waste time coding the obvious into law? How shameful!”

The Martians who protested this line of propaganda were either quickly silenced, or painted as traitors to the "Ancient Martian Code of Honor and Way of Life", despite the publicly known, if heavily covered up fact that slavery had, in fact, been outlawed on Mars for hundreds of years before the first See-aye-ay Earthlings had landed there and cozied up to the then-newly elected Governor Hakkjan, who was now reigning over his eighty-third consecutive term as Planetary President.

Planetary President Hakkjan's first declaration after coming into power had been to remove laws prohibiting slavery from all of the law books, declaring that they were archaic and a waste of important bookkeeping space among civilized people who didn't need to be told that it was wrong like they were newborns.

That was the one and only time he personally commented upon slavery and its morality or legality in any official capacity. Every consecutive year since, he and his government had done everything they could to make the public forget that slavery had ever been outlawed. The topic was banned in schools, and older textbooks that talked about it were revoked and burned, and replaced with new copies, that contained government-approved "alternative facts" about Martian history.

The only reason Night knew any of this was because nor parents had grown up with the original textbooks, the original history classes, and had seen the rise of Hakkjan and his pro-slavery rhetoric in real time.

They had had lives outside of slavery. And they'd made sure their children, who had been denied that right, at least knew the real facts, no matter what the plantation owners tried to indoctrinate them with in the few rare times they tried to "educate" the slaves in any capacity.

Night had no memories outside of the plantation. Nox could only dream of being able to go to school, of being able to play with children nox'd never met before. The only people nor age nox had ever been able to interact with were nor own siblings, and the children of the Linor family, who had been forced onto the same plantation until their owner had left five years ago to start up a new one in another province, and took them with her.

The rest of the slaves who had remained were adults, friendly to Night and nor siblings, but not up to the same level of energetic play between work hours as the other kids had been.

When Night had turned fourteen, it had become nor’s job to patrol the plantation in shifts with some of the adults, on the lookout for reporters, or thieves, or to help break up fights between the owners' extended family and stop them from hurting eachother, and let them take their anger out on Night instead. The adults had always contrived to trade shifts with Night to let nol patrol the outer edges, rather than being forced inside with the owners, whenever they could.

There had only been a few times when their attempts had failed, for one reason or another, and Night had a scar on nor upper left arm to show for the time one of the owner's nephews had decided, in a drunken passion, to demonstrate some theory on racial purity by cutting Night, hoping nor blood would be some color other than purple, despite all scientific evidence proving otherwise. He had grabbed Night and forced nor sleeve up, his blue-green hand bruisingly tight on Night's tiny, darker, yellow-green arm.

When nox had bled purple, the exact same shade of purple as his own blood, which he'd offered up as evidence, he'd gotten angry and had decided to punish Night for "ruining his demonstration with Idivet trickery" by dragging nol over to the banquet table, and viciously rubbing an entire fist full of fire-salt into the wound, just to see Night suffer.

The wound, shaped like a ragged crescent the size of nor thumb, had never healed properly, and had left a raised welt that stubbornly stayed pale yellow even years later.

After that, the adults assigned to security had worked even harder to make sure they could always take Night's place when guests were visiting, and they had mostly succeeded. Even if it wasn't always done elegantly or discreetly. Fortunately, most of the plantation owners didn't care very much who was passing out the fingerfood or fetching drinks as long as someone was doing it.

Before nox had been assigned to security work, nox had sometimes done general housekeeping tasks, but mostly worked in the orchard grounds, planting, tending, and harvesting the jadefruit that was destined for Earth, to help the See-aye-ay develop their own latent telepathic abilities.

When a Martian ate jadefruit in combination with four-leaf seeds, they got a strong boost to their telepathic radius while the effects lasted, and it had been used for centuries by search and rescue teams, and for workers in long-distance communications towers.

Before the See-aye-ay had befriended Planetary President Hakkjan, jadefruit had been uncommon, growing only in certain specific conditions, and cultivated carefully, to provide the highest quality fruit with the longest-lasting effects.

That had changed when Planetary President Hakkjan had set up a trade agreement with the See-aye-ay. They would send Mars quartz—which was extremely rare on Mars, but very common on Earth—in return for the jadefruit, as much of it as they could produce. Four-leaf was common enough that they could get that from other sources, so that wasn't part of the arrangement.

Quartz was one of the most valued minerals to Martians, because it was so incredibly rare, and, if injested, or injected under the skin, would sharpen telepathic scanning to provide a sharper, clearer image. It was useless to the See-aye-ay in their current all-but-anpathic state, but highly valued by the Martians.

As far as the See-aye-ay and Planetary President Hakkjan’s government were concerned, it was a fair deal all the way around.

No one ever bothered to ask the ethnic minorities who were rounded up en masse and forced to work as slaves on the new high-intensity-yield plantations their thoughts on any of it.

And no one ever did bother to tell the See-aye-ay that the jadefruit they were getting in return for the valuable quartz was the lowest grade ever produced on the planet.

Both sides in the trade agreement had their own power plays and agendas, and neither side was actually doing their best to increase the strength of the other, despite all their official promises to do so. They only cared about their own power, and nothing else.

Night's family was just one of the countless that had gotten swept up and drowned in the political machinations between the two groups.

Their house had been broken into one night when nox were just a baby, still in the cradle.

Nox had had the pain-delivering control chip in nor head for as long as nox could remember, and had no memories of that home, only the stories, beautiful and idylic with nostalgia, nor older siblings had to share, of playing hide and seek in the woods nearby, of their heights as they grew painted carefully onto one wall, and their own first, shaky telekinetic brush-strokes marking the tops of their heads when they became practiced enough to try it, just for the sake of proving they could.

For Sarin’s fifteenth birthday, she had gotten a young basalt hopper, the domestic cousin to the much smaller, and much more aggressive and venemous lava hoppers. She’d named him Syrtis, after the Earthling name for the volcanic plane where his species originated. She had spent every day after that training him, learning to ride him, and showing off to her friends and family. Until the night their home had been raided.

Sarin was the only one of Night’s three siblings who had reached their fifteenth birthday in freedom. Nor older brother, Festival had gotten a quiet celebration at night, held among all of the others in captivity with them, Idivet or not, and his coming of first age had, fortunately, been overlooked by the plantation owners.

Night wasn't so lucky. For nor fifteenth birthday, nox had been taken out of the orchard in the middle of pruning day, without any warning or explanation, and marched to the office building to be examined by the on-site physician.

It had been terrifying, being ordered to strip to their underwear and then lie down on an examination table while being poked and prodded by a complete stranger who didn’t even say a single word to nol outside of telling nol to sit up or lie down. To the doctor and his assistant, Night had been just been some animal, no different from the other lab-krayits watching from small cages that lined one wall.

After Night had been allowed to put nor clothes back on and was allowed to sit up, one of the plantation owners had come into the room. She had walked circles around Night, looking at nol from all angles, before nodding her approval to the physician.

Then the two had had some kind of extremely technical discussion, using words Night had never heard before, and found very hard to remember later.

It had gone on for so long that Night had somehow ended up accidentally falling asleep right there on the examination table, despite it still being early morning.

When nox woke up, the only one still in the room was the assistant, because the actual doctor and owner had already left to go back to their work.

The assistant escorted Night brusquely out of the offices, and upon stepping outside, nox had been shocked to realize that the sun was setting. Nox had slept the entire day away. Why hadn’t anyone woken nol up? It wasn’t like any of the owners to let a slave waste valuable time sleeping. Had nox been drugged? It was the only thing that made sense. But why? Nox couldn't see anything amiss, except that the scar on nor arm itched a little. [[[[

Shaken, left to find nor own way back to nor family’s cottage in the center of the plantation, Night had done nor best to explain what had happened to the anxious crowd that had gathered.

Nox tried to recount the conversation between the doctor and the owner when nox came to that part of the story, but most of it nox couldn't remember. Nox thought the word ‘semantic’ might have been used a lot, but when nox told the others that, none of them could figure out how that could have anything to do with Night.

Semantic was a fancier way of saying the meaning of words, how they fit together and worked. Unless the owners were planning to teach Night to be a scribe or something, no one could think of any reason for ‘semantic’ to be used. And it didn’t make sense for a doctor to be concerned about it, so it was decided that Night had either misheard or misunderstood.

What the conversation had actually been about, they could only speculate on.

Night never had been brought back to the offices again after that, nor had nox been entered into any grammar contest or anything that would explain the use of the word ‘semantic’. After a few weeks had passed, when it seemed like it had all been a waste of time after all, Night mostly stopped thinking about it.

Two years later, and there was the accident that deactivated nor control chip.

Five months after that had come the fateful night when nox had escaped the plantation, and left behind everything nox’d ever known. Every member of nor family, every friend nox'd ever had. All riding on the chance that nox could get off the planet, could get to Earth or Venus or Jupiter, and find someone willing to help. Slavery wasn't illegal on mars, but it was illegal on other planets, and they had granted asylum to escaping slaves in the past. All Night could do was hope that that asylum would extend to the rest of the slaves on the plantation, and that nox could somehow cause enough public uproar to rescue them all. Nox didn't even hope the owners would be punished. They were too well-connected to the Hakkjan government for anything to stick, but if everyone else could just be freed...

This was why Night was here on this passenger ship, headed to a crossroads station with ships going to and from Earth, Venus, Jupiter, and the rest, and why nox had put ‘security guard’ as nor occupation in the guest book.

Nox didn’t expect anything to come of it. Nox had stolen enough money — physically impossible to trace, thanks to the plantation's unwillingless to admit exactly how much profit they were somehow making on one of the world's most difficult crops — when nox’d escaped that nox thought nox could stay in nor room the whole time and order room service, give nolself time to heal from the bruises and stress. Give nolself some time to plan where nox would go next.

Earth, Venus, and Jupiter were the most loudly anti-slavery as far as their official planetary stances went, despite the See-aye-ay being Earthlings. They were a fringe group, the remnants of a collapsed government that had been overthrown. Each planet's government might be willing to help Night, but they each had their own political plots and stances that might make their response slow, half-hearted, or even withheld entirely.

Night wasn't a politician, nox had no idea which government would be the most likely to react with the speed that was needed. Maybe if nox somehow petitioned all three of them at once? Was that possible? Maybe it would make them fight over who could do the right thing first, to show off, or maybe it would make them waste time fighting over who had jurisdiction or...

There were so many things that could go wrong, or right, and Night had no idea how to sort them out. Nox just wanted time to calm down and relax. Once nox got to the crossroads station, nor parents had promised, there would be government directories that would help nol petition for asylum. All nox had to do was go to the visitor's kiosk, and ask them to point nol to the asylum office.

Festival had asked the question no one had wanted to admit they were all thinking. "But what if they don't listen?"

Night's parents hadn't answered. No one had. They couldn't do anything about that possibility until it actually became a real obstacle to find a way around.

The passenger ship had been easy to board. There had been a public line for tickets, the guest book where you signed in, and that was that. No identification necessary, as long as you weren't obviously below the age of majority. The dark stripes and spots on Night's exposed skin, and nor golden eyes, clearly marked nol as old enough not to legally require a chaperone or permission from a guardian anymore.

Those markers of age could be faked in theory, but apparently that wasn't a big enough of a problem that anyone felt the need to ask for identification to prove it. It just made Night glad that nox had been the one to escape, rather than nor younger sibling, Kani, who was only ten, and would have been stopped. Whether its testimony about being an escaped slave seeking asylum would have been believed was anyone's guess, but the answer would probably have been no. Planetary President Hakkjan had too tight of a grasp on public opinion with the propaganda he constantly pushed.

Slavery, according to all official sources, was a thing of the past. It didn't need to be legislated against because every Martian with brains already knew it went against everything they believed in, and would never dishonor themselves by enacting it, no matter what the law said.

Most people would not take the word of a Idivet child over that of the government, especially when that child was unaccompanied and had no identification to prove anything.

Night had already been assaulted once, and was just glad that it had happened to nol, rather than any of nor family or friends.

The trip to the crossroads station was supposed to be simple, a respite from the scrutiny and aggression and fear of being caught and brought back to the jadefruit plantation.

It had never crossed Night's mind that that the ship’s captain, might not only read, but actually pay attention to the passenger list.

Nox could not have predicted that the captain would call nol not even two hours after lift off, requesting nor help with security to resolve what was turning into a fight in the cafeteria, brought on by overly-enthusiastic and overly drunk passengers arguing about whose planetary anthem was the most inspiring. It had started out friendly, then turned into a contest to see who could out-sing the others, which had turned into pushing, which had turned into punching.

The captain of the ship was an Earthling human, so they probably didn't realize that just because Night was past the age of stripes didn't mean nox were actually an adult yet. Nox would be no more capable of controlling a bunch of angry drunken adults than any other juvenile. Nox wasn't even close to being fully grown yet, and couldn't even legally drink yet, let alone have a job. But the captain must not have been very familiar with Martian biology yet, despite running a passenger ship to and from Mars.

They had offered to pay Night for nor help, offering 75 credits per hour, rounded up. So if Night just showed up and helped out for five minutes, nox would get paid for the full hour. As far as Night could tell, based on the cost of the passenger ticket, and how much the food at the ship station had cost, compared to how much nox'd managed to steal when they escaped the plantation, 75 credits was probably a high rate of pay. It was enough to buy half a dozen tickets, or six dozen of the face-sized pastry rolls that had been sold at the ship station, and still have some left over. Credits were the universal currency used in space, and could be freely converted into the desired planetary currency as long as you were on a planet in the alliance.

The passenger ship had accepted all forms of currency, so it hadn't been a problem for Night to pay in hard coins instead of a digital credit block. The employee at the guest book had just converted the Martian coins into credits through her computer, then had told Night how much nox needed to pay, with a printed out receipt guaranteeing the conversion rate was accurate.

Nox hadn't had time to go through and actually count all the money nox had left after paying for the ticket and food. It seemed like a lot, weighing heavily in the bottom of nor backpack, and clinking together when nox took some out to look at it, but nox really had no idea. There were different types of coins, some nox had never seen before, and hadn't realized existed. Nor parents had taught nol how to count money with loose change they'd picked up around the plantation, and through drawings, but some of these coins were brand new, and seemed to be completely new types to any that had been included in nor lessons.

All of the new types had Planetary President Hakkjan's face stamped on one side, and his heraldic crest on the other. Most of the coins were made of metal, grey or orangey-yellow in color, with some of the oldest being greenish.

Most of the new ones featuring Planetary President Hakkjan were made of a semi-transparent-white stone that Night could only assume was the famous quartz of Earth. They were probably worth a lot, but Night had no way to find out, and didn't want to risk asking to find out. Something told nol that the quartz coins were not something a juvenile was likely to be casually carrying around. They would raise questions.

So the prospect of getting paid, to make sure nor money didn't run out, and to help disguise exactly how much nox had, was very tempting. It was so tempting Night almost accepted the captain's offer. Almost.

But Night wasn’t here to work, nox were here to relax, and try to give nor body time to actually heal from the public beating nox had already taken, not get into fights with drunken adults. Nox were here to try and heal, and try to calm down and be able to plan properly just what nox were going to say when nox got to the crossroads station.

So nox said no.

And nox wanted to mean it. Nox really wanted to mean it. Nox really, really wanted to mean it.

Nox tried to mean it. And it wasn't the temptation of the money that held nol back from following through.

The ship had free wifi, and the hotel rooms all had their own TV sets. Nox had been watching a movie from nor bed when the ship’s captain had commed to ask nol to work for them, and nox had planned to go back to watching it once the call had ended. It was an ancient movie from Earth, earnest in its grainyness and grey-painted human actors. The Creation of the Humanoids. Special markers in the subtitles had been added to indicate the genders of the human characters, to make it easier for other species to understand.

A historical context tip before it had started had explained that this movie had been made in a culture where the only accepted partnerships were between a male man with he/him pronouns, and a female woman with she/her pronouns, with the goal of having children. This movie was fiction, set in an imaginary future to the people who wrote it, and any resemblances to real history or people was unintended and purely coincidental.

The movie had continued playing in the background while nox had gotten distracted with the comm, because Night hadn’t been able to figure out how to pause it with the unfamiliar remote control while also trying to talk on the comm at the same time. Nox had never spoken on a comm before, and it was nerve-wracking to be talking to someone as important as the captain, and without being able to see their face, it felt like it was harder to understand them. All of Night's attention had been forced to the comm call, trying to ignore the still-playing movie in the background that wasn't helping nol hear what the captain was saying.

The call had ended and the movie was still going, showing the apparent the leading character and a new female character standing in a room, both of them angry. Night had no idea why.

The female character said, her voice rising with bitterness, "That would be a dramatic gesture! You like dramatic gestures, don't you? You won't throw him out, because you can't.” Her chin tilted up, nothing but contempt in her pose, according to the body language subtitles.

The man—her brother?—demanded, "Your answer is no?"

"My answer is go ahead and try." the woman replied, and the subtitles said her voice was cold and proud.

Night couldn’t figure out how to rewind, too worked up by the sudden surprise of the comm call, and had to resign nolself to figuring out what was happening while missing the first half of the scene. The subtitles helped with explaining the alien body language and general culture, but they didn't summarize the plot that had already happened.

The two characters were arguing about something, and there was a third character, painted grey to represent a robot, but Night suddenly found nox couldn’t follow the dialogue, couldn’t figure out what they were all upset about, besides it having something to do with the robot character.

The first part of the movie had set up very clear antagonism against the robots, so the male character, whose name Night could not remember for the life of nox, which these subtitles didn't list, was probably upset about that. There had been other subtitle options, including ones that would list out all the character's names, but Night hadn't thought nox would need to use it. And now nox couldn't figure out how to go back to the menu to select them.

What were they arguing about? Nox could remember the word “rapour” being mentioned a few times, but had no idea what it meant. It hadn't been explained in the first part of the movie that nox'd seen, and didn't seem like it was getting explained now. Maybe they'd explained it while nox had been on the comm, but that was no help now.

And even with the subtitles on, and the text enlarged enough that Night didn’t have to squint, nox still couldn’t understand what was going on now.

It was like nor ears and eyes had both suddenly decided to stop communicating with nor brain.

The audio and visual was coming in, but no understanding was coming back out. And nox still couldn’t just figure out which symbol on the box-shaped remote meant rewind.

Nox was aware that a fourth character had entered the scene, and that the male lead was no longer angry, but beyond that, nox had no idea what was happening.

Nox blinked and rubbed at nor eyes, wondering if nox had lost an eyelash, or if nox were really just that tired, but it didn’t help.

Only as nox were lowering nox hands back to the bed did nox finally notice nox were shaking uncontrollably.

It was because nox were so tired, exhausted, and still hurting from the attack. The surprise comm call hadn't helped either.

That was why nor hands were shaking. Nox just needed to lie down, turn the movie off, and take a nap. It was the middle of the day, as far as nor body was concerned, no matter what the rest of the ship’s many clocks were set to. An afternoon nap was entirely reasonable and would do nox some good.

There was nothing to be upset by. The captain was friendly, and hadn’t even gotten upset that nox had turned them down. It was surprising and strange that they had tried to recruit Night in the first place, but that was just some weird cultural difference and the captain not knowing how to recognize a juvenile from an adult. There was nothing worth getting upset over, besides the annoying icons on the TV’s remote not making any sense, and the movie still playing on as though Night had any clue what was happening.

Nox knew that escaping the plantation meant nox had a choice in what nox did now, and that meant nox could say no if somebody asked nol to do something, so this was nol saying no.

Exercising that freedom that everyone was always going on about. It was an under-used muscle, so it was a sore one, just like any muscle you over-extended without enough training. Nox just needed to relax and stop worrying so much about things that were beyond nor control. Nox could count the money after nox woke up, and try to figure out how much each of the new coins were worth. There was probably a database on the ship's computers that would teach you all about the different kinds of currency.

Nox were just tired, and lonely, and scared. But it was okay. Nox were on nor way to the crossroads station, where nox would be able to get help for everyone waiting for nol to come back with a rescue. All nox'd have to do was step off the passenger ship, walk up to the welcome desk, and ask where the asylum office was. It would be easy. It was nothing to be frightened of. No reason for nor hands to be shaking. Nox were just tired.

The minutes went on, and the movie kept playing, now just a blurry, ununderstandable mess of meaningless audio and color.

Night tried to tell nolself that this was just some simple anxiety from all of the very real reasons nox had to be anxious about. Nox were on nor own on a passenger ship filled with strangers, most of whom were aliens. Nox were the only hope nor family and friends had of being rescued all these long years after being forced into slavery. Nox was rightfully afraid of being caught and sent back to the plantation. Nox had plenty of things to be afraid of. But panicking wouldn't help any of those problems. Nox just needed to calm down.

Nox wanted to go to sleep, or to go back to watching the movie.

But even when Night closed nor eyes in the hopes of letting them refocus when nox opened them again an indeterminable amount of time later, which might have been several seconds, or several minutes, the blurriness didn’t go away.

Try as nox might, nox just could not understand anything that was happening on the TV any more. Nox could barely even comprehend nor own thoughts.

Nox were lying flat out on the large hotel bed, on what nox knew was a mattress with automatic climate control, but nox couldn’t even feel the warm that nox knew had to still be radiating up from it, and nox could barely feel the softness of the blankets between nor fingers when nox reached out and gripped it to try and flex feeling back into nor numb hand.

Nox could no longer smell any of the aromas that had come with the room's atmosphere. They had been designed to shift from one flavor to the next as you got used to the first one, so you would always have something nice to smell. When nox had turned the movie on, the room had smelled like vanilla, the Earthling spice. It was supposed to go switch to eclipse mint next, which would be unmistakable, but Night couldn't smell it. Maybe that just meant the scent system was shut off by accident. Maybe nox had hit a button to do that on the TV remote.

Or maybe it was something worse. Maybe nor body was slowly shutting down, one sense at a time. First hearing, then sight, then touch, then smell. What next? Would the entire world fade out?

Nox were so frazzled and lost that it took nol a long time to even realize that the fluttering in nor chest was caused by nor heart racing.

Nox had enough sense of touch left to realize from the cold under nor armpits that nox had started sweating, even though the temperature controls in the bed and room were designed to prevent overheating.

A fog, thick and heavy, was rolling over nor brain and body so that it was hard to understand anything at all, like a telepathic mountain had dropped out of the sky and onto nor mind, compressing everything almost to the point of death.

But there was one thought that was still crystal clear and sharp and real. And that was the fact that nox were supposed to be doing security, because the captain of the ship, an authority, had asked nol to, and nox weren’t.

As the seconds continued to trickle inexorably by, Night found nolself taking faster and shallower breaths, as though nor lung was suddenly unable to actually process the oxygen. The corners of nox blurred vision began to darken. Despite the sweat, nox could feel nolself shivering uncontrollably, like every heat-producing process in nor body had suddenly collapsed into cold nothingness.

And still the only thing nox could think of clearly was that nox had been asked to do a job, and nox weren’t. Nox were not performing the task requested of nol.

And nox knew it had been a request, specifically, not an order.

The captain had the authority to make it an order, but they hadn’t. They hadn’t even given the smallest sign that they were angry with nol for turning down their offer.

So why was Night shaking? Why was nor heart in nor throat, choking nol? Why did it feel like nor whole entire being was about to shut down? Why was the only thing nox could think about the fact that nox were not providing security when nox were supposed to? Why could nox feel panic through the thick haze of confusion that was drowning nol, where the only clear thought it seemed possible to have was, “Why am I disobeying an order?”

Nox had disobeyed nor owners plenty of times as a more rebellious child, and sometimes it had ended with punishment, but sometimes nox had gotten away with it. But this suffocating confusion had never happened before.

Nox had mostly felt the adrenaline-fueled high of the danger, and the thrill of getting away with it. The camraderie it inspired when schemes with the others succeeded in giving them all less work to go.

Nox had never felt like nox were dying because nox’d taken their time with the dishes even after being told to hurry, or when nox’d pretended not to hear being told to do something.

Disobeying the plantation owners had always been risky, but it was a calculated risk. Some of them had been more violent and likely to activate the control chip at the slightest sign of disobedience, while others had been forgetful enough that they probably wouldn’t even notice you’d disobeyed as long as you didn't give them any reason to remember.

Night and the other slaves had gotten away with disobeying many instructions over the years, playing a careful game of risk assesment and guesswork and making it seem like you were following instructions to the letter when you really weren’t.

None of them time nox had ever disobeyed had felt like this.

Nor control chip had been deactivated in the accident that sent the power out, so it couldn’t force nox to obey anymore, and this wasn’t how control chips meted out punishment in the first place. Through the mechanical implants tied directly to the nervous system, control chips created pain, they could freeze you in place by cutting off the signals to the rest of your body, they could even force your body to perform limited movements like marching or walking to a pre-determined location, but only if there were no obstacles in the path. The owners of the plantation had gone out of their way to arrange the farm rows and buildings so that the control chip’s navigation would always be able to march the slaves from one end to another.

But nor control chip had never done anything like this. This was something different. And it went far beyond the general anxiety nor felt about being in a brand new place, leaving behind everything nox’d ever known, surrounded by strangers, with no idea what was going to happens when nox reached nor destination.

This wasn’t the control chip. That was dead as dead could be. Nor parents had made sure of that before they sent nol out to escape. And it wasn’t any kind of anxiety attack nor had ever felt before.

Night was supposed to have the option to say no, now that nox were free.

But this didn’t feel like nox really had the option to say no.

Nox knew there was no irritable newphew of the plantation owners here to order nox to obey, with a finger waiting, hovering over the activator for nor control chip, if nox didn't move fast enough.

The ship’s captain wasn’t even upset that nox had chosen not to accept their offer of employment. They weren’t hounding nox to change nor mind, they weren’t berating nol through the private system or threatening to kick nol off the ship or withhold access to the cafeteria, or any other number of things nor anxiety-ridden mind could have been coming up with if this were a normal panic attack.

But it wasn't.

The captain had accepted nor excuse of being on vacation, had said, “Thank you anyways, enjoy your night.” and that had been it.

Something was seriously wrong with Night. Wrong, not with the mechanical connections to nor control chip, but nor body itself.

This had never happened before, never. But nox had always either had nor control chip still functioning to force nol to comply with the orders nox couldn't worm nor way out of, or, after the control chip had been damaged, nox had continued to obey anyways, first for fear that the chip had only temporarily malfunctioned, and then later to protect nolself and nor family.

This was the first time nox had ever outright refused to do the job that was demanded, or in this case, simply asked of nol, without any subterfuge to hide the fact that that's what nox were doing.

In some distant part of nor panic hazed mind, nox knew that what nox should be doing was taking deep breaths, focusing on things that would calm nol down, and trying to convince nolself that nox were safe and everything was okay. It was okay to disobey orders. Especially when they weren’t actual orders. It was more than okay to just let the captain handle their own business and lie down and watch a movie or take a nap instead.

Night was free now. Nox had escaped the plantation, and were on nor way to get rescue for the rest of nor family. No one could control nol but nolself. Nor control chip was deader than King Savi from the old plane legends. It couldn't activate anymore, couldn't hurt nol anymore.

But the only thing Night could think about was that nox had been asked to do a job, provide security, and nox had refused.

Night didn’t know what would happen if nox lost consciousness, but some core part of nol recoiled in the most visceral fear nox had ever felt in nor life, and nox suddenly became convinced that nox would actually, really die if nox did not stand up right that second and go out there and do the job the captain had asked nol to do.

This was not an exaggerated fear in the midst of panic. Nox knew how to recognize those as the absurdities that they were, even if knowing that in the moment didn’t make them less frightening. No. This came to nol crystal clear, as clear as the idea that nox were not obeying orders and nox should be.

If nox did not do nor job, nox would die.

Nox had no choice. No choice at all.

The moment Night made the decision to do what had been asked of nol, it was like a switch had been flipped.

The haze of fog began to disappear, like the blaze of a sun burning it away, and nox were able to think again clearly, sharply.

Nox could feel the heat from the mattress below nol, the exquisitely soft cushion of the blankets. The strong smell of eclipse mint that always made nol remember the cake they'd had on Festival's fifteenth birthday, the last time nor parents had been able to get their hands on even the powdered version of the traditional celebratory spice. Smelling it now sent a sharp pang of rage and grief through nor chest. Why did the people who could afford to stay in this hotel get to smell eclipse mint whenever they wanted, but nor parents couldn't even beg hard enough to be given a single leaf with which to celebrate Night's fifteenth birthday?

But the next memory-filled breath nox took was easier than the one that had come before it, and the next was easier than that.

Night was able to get to nor feet without stumbling or feeling out of breath. The TV was still going, still playing the movie, as nox put on nor jacket with hands that now shook for a different reason.

“A report came in that an R34 had killed a human being...You can imagine the stir that caused….”

None of this was not natural. Nox had learned first aid the hard way, and nox knew that this was not how natural panic attacks worked. Nox had had enough of them, and had helped others through them often enough to know from first hand experience. This was something completely different and all the more horrible.

Night didn’t know how to contact the ship’s captain on nor own to tell them nox’d changed nor mind, but they had said the problem was in the cafeteria, and nox could follow the automated wall-map once nox got into the hallway.

So nox did, hating every easy breath nox took as nox followed the light on the wall.

By the time Night got to the cafeteria to help break up the fight, most of the job was already done, because the captain and two of their crew members had already beaten nol there, but there were still enough angry and drunk passengers for nol to help herd them either back to their tables for some food to mellow them out, or to their cabins to sleep it off.

Fortunately, they weren't as scary as Night had been expecting, they mostly just seemed confused and apologetic.

The captain was surprised and pleased to see Night there, and clapped nol on the shoulder when the mess had died down enough, grinning widely and exclaiming, “Glad to see you decided to come help us out, friend! Say—how do you go about pronouncing that honorific of yours? Is it Mix or Mux? I’ve heard it both ways!”

“I say it Mux,” Nox had said back nervously, trying to keep any remnants of panic out of nor voice. Nox didn’t think nox had succeeded, but that could easily be blamed on the adrenaline of the bar-room brawl that had only just been dissolved.

“Well, thank you for the assistance, Mux Nightfall, I’ll have your payment credited to you as soon as I get back to my office!” Another friendly clap on the shoulder, and a gentle shake. “Now you go and get back to your vacation!"

They tried to turn and leave, but, in a sudden desperate bid, Night grabbed their arm to stop them, and said nervously, "Um, I'm actually not supposed to have a job, I'm only seventeen." Nox realized that might not mean much to an Earthling, and added, "I'm not an adult yet, so, this isn't really legal."

Slavery was also not really legal, but that hadn't stopped anyone. But nox were hoping the ship's captain had more morals than the plantation owners or their customers.

The captain stared, eyes widening, then shook themselves and grinned. "Oh, is that so? Well, then I'll double your pay, and it'll be our little secret! Now, really, go on and get back to your vacation—what is it, summer break from school? Eh, no wait, I don't need to know, just go on, shoo, shoo."

Night could only hope that telling them the truth about nor age would stop them from trying to recruit nol to help with any other incidents. Nox didn't want to have to go through this all over again.

The job officially done with, nox went back to nor room, turned the lights off, jabbed violently at all the buttons on the TV until finally finding the one that turned it off, pressed the pillow over nor face, and did nothing for the next several hours but absorb the true horror of nor situation in a desperate and failed attempt to sleep.

Nox went over, in nor memories, every moment since nor control chip had been deactivated, where nox had considered disobeying orders. They were different from nor earlier memories from childhood. From...

In the darkness of nor room, Night blinked up at the faintly glowing ceiling. Now that nox were thinking about it, nox could locate the distinct moments when disobeying had become, not an almost obligatory past-time to cope with the sheer number of orders nox were given and how many contradicted one another, but had become something nox wanted to avoid at all costs.

It had been a slow creep, at the time, so that nox hadn't noticed. Nox'd chalked it up to understandeable wariness, not wanting to draw any undue attention after the incident on nor fifteenth birthday.

Because that was when it had all started. Nor fifteenth birthday. After nox had been brought to the physician for some mysterious purpose that had never been explained.

Had...had they done something to Night? Nox couldn't think of any other explanation.

Looking back over the past few months, nox could now recognize the symptoms that nox had assumed, at the time, were just the common sense logic that told nol to keep playing along to stay safe, even in situations when it would have been imminently safer to run away as soon as no one was looking, so that nox could get the rest of nor family rescued as quickly as possible.

Compared with all of nor earlier memories of disobeying orders, either obviously, in cases where it had been feasible, or sneakily, there was a stark contrast.

It did not take a genius to realize what had happened and what this meant.

And when the captain asked nol to help the security team again two days later, apparently not put off by the fact that they were illegally employing a minor, and nox again refused, nor worst fear was confirmed. The attack of confusion, senselessness, and fear happened again, exactly the same as the first time.

And just like the first time, as soon as nox decided to give in and do the job, the attack evaporated just as quickly as it had set in.

There was no denying it. The plantation owners had not stopped at control chips. The control chip had been a mechanical solution. And this? This was something organic. They had done something to Night's body, nor brain, or something, to make it impossible for nol to refuse to do the job nox had been told to do, whether nox wanted to or not, no matter how much nox did not want to.

It was the kind of thing that happened in scary stories. Telepathic compulsions that lingered like a curse, forcing the victim to do the bidding of whoever had cast it. It wasn't something that was supposed to really be possible.

But for the 5 months after Night had realized nox control chip had stopped functioning, nox had assumed that nox kept working just the same because nox had had to keep up the pretense, and because nox were worried the chip would somehow repair itself and start working again.

Nox had told nolself there had never been any opportunity to escape, but that had been a lie. Nox could have escaped many times, but nox never had, not even after nox'd told nor family and they had all begged nol to sneak away in the middle of the night, to just get away to safety.

Night had told nolself that this was because nox didn’t know where nox would go, and certainly, nox couldn't just leave, not without nor family, could nox? But that wasn’t true either, because nox had fantasized about all of the places nox would go, and nox'd known that if only one of them could get away, it could make a difference for all of them.

Nox had imagined for years escaping to Jupiter or Earth or Venus, where slavery was outlawed planetwide, where nox would be able to demand asylum not only for nolself, but could even request rescue for the rest of nor family. Planning these fantasy trips had been a game among nor family. It had all seemed like just another game at the time, but now nox realized that it had been to help prepare them all for this kind of situation.

And it had worked. Night had managed to get to the ship station on nor own, had bought a ticket, and was on nor way. Only a single slip up had occurred the whole time, when Night had been attacked by Ezzekijj supremacists, who didn't like the fact that Night wore clothes that covered up more skin than they thought was acceptable. But they had been scared off by other people at the station pretty quickly, and Night had still been able to get nor ticket and get aboard without any other trouble.

But now nox knew that it wasn’t just the control chip that the plantation owners had used to control nol. It was in nor body, nor brain. A telepathic curse from scary stories made real. Were nox the first one? No one else had been brought to see the physician, had they? Were nox the first test subject?

Nox might have a broken control chip, but whatever poison or curse the plantation owners had subjected nol to was even more dangerous than the shock of pain the control chip could give. Even the limited control the chip could take over your body could be fought against. It just required the strategic placement of common farming tools or supplies, 'accidentally' left sitting in the Cleared Lane Space. A single bag of pulled weeds, carelessly or carefully set down in just the right spot, could completely disrupt all attempts to forcibly call the slaves back to the main building.

This? Night had no idea how to fight this. Nox had already tried to warn the captain against calling nol to work, and it had failed. Because this captain didn't care about violating child labor laws any more than the River Rise Plantation owners had cared about violating the ancient laws against slavery.

If the captain called on Night to do more work, nox wouldn't be able to say no. That much was clear. But where did it end? Could anyone ask nox to do something and nox would have to comply? Did it only involve working security, because that had become nor official job after nox'd turned fourteen?

What would nox do if none of the planetary governments nox went to for asylum actually did anything to help? Would nox be forced to work for anyone and everyone who asked it of nol, no matter what? What if nox couldn't find a way to stop it?

In the stories, the curses could be broken by the victim submerging themselves in the mythical lake of gold. But in all of the stories, that lake had cooled down into solid metal before written history, and had been reforged to make the stars. Would nox have to gather up all the stars and melt them down to finally know what true freedom meant?

All of these thoughts and more ran through nor mind as nox tossed and turned on the temperature controlled bed, in the room that smelled like eclipse mint, despite the distance between nol and nor family.

Nox fell into an uneasy sleep after hours of lying awake, and could only hope, in nor hazy dreams, that nox would be able to find help when they reached the crossroads station. But nox knew, even sleeping, that if neither Earth, nor Venus, nor Jupiter were willing to grant nol asylum, nox would just have to turn to the other planets, the ones where slavery wasn't illegal yet. Nox would be willing to go all the way out to Pluto if it meant finding freedom, both for nolself, and for everyone else left on Mars, waiting for nol to return.

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