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parkerliciouspeter · 3 years

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death wish. || peter parker x felicia hardy

masterlist || next

Chapter I; Act 1 - A Silver-Haired Girl

In which we learn who Felicia Hardy was to Peter.

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

2005, Midtown Public Kindergarten

“Look, it’s that guy who lost his parents!” Little Eugene Thompson and his friends snickered, pointing at Peter. Peter’s parents had just died, and he spent most of the time reading a corner or talking about Star Wars with another kid in the class named Ned.

But the only other person he was interested in was the one everyone else was scared of:

Felicia Hardy.

The little girl who was always taken to school in fancy cars by big men in suits. The little girl who wore puffy, pastel-colored dresses to school every day. The little girl who everyone thought was a spoiled brat.

But she wasn’t as mean as everyone thought she was.

“Hey, Peter!” He turned around and his cheeks tinted pink seeing Felicia Hardy running towards him. “Peter, my daddy told me about your parents, and I’m very really sorry about it. Granny and grandpa went to heaven last week too, so I sort-of kinda know how you feel.”

All Peter could do was nod and smile.

“Also, I saw you and your friend playing with Star Wars figurines so I asked my daddy to buy you a gift!” She handed him a small gift bag. Peter opened it and inside was a brand-new Lobot figurine that he’s been wanting to have for months.

“Woah, thanks, Felicia!” He pulled it out of the bag and examined it. “You didn’t have to do this!”

She smiled sheepishly. “It’s the least I could do for you.”

The honking from a large black car distracted the two, and Felicia turned to see one of her father’s men tapping his watch.

“Sowwy Peter, I got’s to go.” She hugged him and ran towards the car, leaving Peter blushing.

“Hey, Parker!” Flash yelled, his high-pitched voice destroying everyone’s eardrums. “Where’d you get that shirt? From a dumpster?” He and his stupid friends started laughing.

Don’t cry. Don’t cry. “No! My dad got this for me before he went on his business trip!”

“Well, it must’ve been a ‘sorry’ gift to say that he wasn’t gonna come back!” Tears spilled from Peter’s big brown eyes, rolling down his cheeks.

“Hey!” A familiar voice yelled, catching everyone’s attention. “At least Peter’s parents cared about him, unlike yours, who don’t even bother to go to parent career day!”

Flash’s cheeks turned bright red. He then let out a loud huff and strutted away, his friends following behind him.

Ned looked at the green-eyed girl in awe. “Woah, no one’s ever stood up against Flash before!”

“Eh, he’s nothing but a boy with anger issues.” She shrugged and took a seat beside the two of them. “What are you playing?”

“We’re assembling a Lego Millenium Falcon!” Ned clicked a small lego onto the base of the piece.

“Ooh, is that from Star Wars? I don’t really know much about it, my daddy said it’s violent and I’m not allowed to watch it…”

“Really? Star Wars isn't super violent, there’s not much blood because the lightsabers’ flashes cat-erize the wound so there isn’t any blood.”

Felicia giggled. “Dude, I think it’s ‘cauterize,’ not ‘cat-erize...’”

“Oh. Well y’know what I mean.”

“Well, can I still help? My daddy makes what he calls ‘building models’ for his ‘enter-prizes’ and sometimes I help him put them together.”

Ned handed her the small chunky manual. “Sure! We can’t understand the manual properly, there are so many letters and numbers..”

Felicia smiled. Whenever she asked the other girls in class if they wanted to play house with her, they would whisper amongst themselves and swiftly shake their heads. Whenever she sat on a table at lunchtime everyone on it would scatter away, like she had a disease.

For her, it felt nice to be included in something for once.

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

2011, Midtown Public Elementary School

“Hey, Pete, do you have the homework from English yesterday?” Felicia took a seat beside her best friend. Over the past weeks, her dad had been picking her up from school earlier because they had a lot of business trips, so she missed some of her classes.

“Yeah, it’s just a book report for the book we had to read last week.”

She nodded, the bell rang for homeroom and the teacher entered the classroom. “Alright everybody, settle down. Today, we’ll be having tryouts for the junior basketball team and the cheerleading squad…”

Felicia was mindlessly scribbling on her journal, tuning out the talking around her. Ever since she was a little girl she’s been drawing everywhere and anytime. Back at the Hardy Manor, Walter spoiled his daughter with all sorts of materials for her. She wanted to study Fine Arts at NYU, but she wasn’t exactly sure whether her dad wanted her to, or if he wanted her to lead his company after he died.

That day would be closer than she thought.

“Ms. Hardy? You still with us?”

She snapped her head up, nodding.

“Well, try and act like it.” The teacher snapped, as the bell rang and everyone filed out of the classroom.

Before she knew it, it was already lunch. Felicia was sitting with Peter and Ned when she saw the principal talking to her father through the cafeteria door window.

“Uh, guys?” She put down her fork and slung her purse over her pastel purple dress. “I’ll be right back, I think I left something in the classroom.”

They nodded, oblivious to what Felicia was seeing. She pushed open the door quietly and hid behind a corner, so she could hear what they were talking about.

“... and I already told you, Mr. Hardy, the school is perfectly secure.”

“Fine. Then I will have no choice but to withdraw my daughter and all my donations from your school.”

Withdraw her? What the hell did that mean?

She heard the sound of footsteps fade away, so she retreated to the cafeteria to finish her lunch in silence. She couldn’t stop thinking about what she overheard. Why did her father doubt the school’s security?

“Licia, did you get your stuff?”

She snapped out of her daze and nodded quickly, giving him a thumbs-up. Peter shrugged and continued to talk to Ned.

The next class was Maths, and as per usual, Felicia wasn’t paying that much attention. A knock at the classroom door snapped her out of her daze. A young woman with a clipboard entered the classroom and cleared her throat.

The teacher capped her marker and addressed the person. “Excuse me, can I help you?”

“I’m here for Ms. Felicia Hardy.”

Felicia looked up and saw her father’s secretary by the door. “What are you doing here???” she mouthed at her, confused.

“Get in the car in five” was the reply that she got, so she groaned as quietly as she could and slung her bag over her shoulder. Once they arrived at her locker Felicia shoved her stuff in her bag while whispering, “What are you doing here?! Dad didn’t tell me about any business trips!”

“There isn’t any.”

“Then why are you here!” She whips around angrily, her long hair almost hitting Jenny in the face.

“Because he wants you home.”

Felicia groaned. “Does this have anything to do with ‘the school not being safe enough for me’ or whatever? Because as you can clearly see I’m perfectly fine!”

Not paying any attention to her question, Jenny flipped through her clipboard. “Come along, your father wants to discuss something with you at the manor.”

Fel didn’t even bother arguing at this point. She just rolled her eyes and followed Jenny to the car, crossing her arms angrily.

☦︎︎

“Dad!” As soon as Felicia entered the manor she threw her bag on the floor and stomped to her father’s office. The little girl loved her father, but sometimes she didn’t like the ’special treatment’ he always gave her.

Entering his office, Felicia slammed the door behind her. “Dad, didn’t I tell you to tell me a few days before there’s any traveling we have to do?”

“No, no, there’s no business trips, there’s just something I want to talk about.”

She took a seat in front of her father’s desk and gave him a glare that could kill.

Walter Hardy sighed, not knowing a safe way to break the news to his daughter. “Licia, me and your mother decided it would be a good idea if we hired someone to homeschool you.”

“Wh- what?!” She screamed, sitting up straight in her seat. “Dad, I told you I hate all the ‘special treatment’ stuff you’ve been giving-“

“Felicia, this isn’t about that, okay? Look, there are some things you’re too young to know, but this will keep you safe.” He cut her off, and she immediately knew that something was wrong. He wanted to tell her, but explaining that he was a criminal overlord and that some rival crime families were going to kill his daughter because of some simple miscalculations didn’t seem wise.

“I know it sucks, and I know you hate this ‘special treatment,’ but you are special. You’re special to me.”

She huffed, her breath making a stray strand of her pale hair blow off her face. “Ugh, alright dad. I guess it’s okay.”

Her father smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “Thank you, Fel. Plus, you’ll finally be able to learn the stuff that’s actually at your level, and continue your MMA and gymnastics, like you’ve been asking.”

“Yeah, yeah.” She rolled her eyes, trying to look uninterested.

Little did she know, her father was right. The things she would get into in the future would make her regret ever wanting to be like him.

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

2016, Midtown School of Science and Technology

Peter Parker walked through the halls, bumping into someone on his way to the locker every now and then.

“Hey, Peter, did you see that video of Spiderman catching those burglars?” Ned popped up behind him with wide eyes.

“U-uh, yeah, but I’m pretty sure it’s fake, anyway.”

“Are you sure? Because it really looked like he…” Ned droned on, while Peter fixed his things.

“Woah, Peter is that-“ Ned elbowed Peter so hard that it hurt, even with his super-strength. “Peter!”

“Ned, what the hell do you want-“ He whipped around, and his jaw dropped. Strolling through the halls was none other than Felicia Sara Hardy.

But she wasn’t their Felicia.

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

(a/n: this chapter is literally so bad im sorry also im not american we dont have lockers here what do people do with them anyways? also here's the link to this series' taglist! https://forms.gle/9TwiQik9tGsKR5KNA)

[peter tags: @6r4cie] [death wish tags: n/a]

#peter parker x superhero!reader #peter parker imagine #peter parker fluff #fanfiction #peter parker x felicia hardy #peter parker x reader #tom holland fic #peter parker fic #tom holland’s spiderman #tom holland #tom holland x you

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anasticklefics · 4 years

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All Nerves

Fandom: Star Wars

Characters: Poe/Finn/Rey

Summary: As they settle on a planet that Poe doesn’t trust for a few nights, Finn and Rey know exactly how to get him to stop being so on edge.

A/N: Prompted by @fickle-tiction. I hope you enjoy it!

Words: 1 124

Leia had the most unexpected and impressive contacts, Poe noted as he landed the Millenium Falcon on a planet so rich, so vividly painted in greens and reds and blues that he almost felt like he was hallucinating.

“You’re sure they know we’re coming?” he asked her, quietly and unprofessionally, but he was always tired nowadays and sometimes forgot himself. Couldn’t always distinguish when they were members of the Resistance and when they were just Poe and Leia.

But Leia didn’t reprimand him. “They do.”

“And they know our numbers?” More than the average group you brought with you when asking for lodging, but so much less than the amount of people a rebellion was rumored to contain.

“More or less.”

“Right. Is this a good place to leave the ship or-”

Leia tilted her head at him, lips quirking upward. “You seem nervous.”

“I’m all nerves, didn’t you know?”

“It’s fine, Poe. I didn’t force them to host us.”

“I never said you did.” It was just that last time they tried to lay low on a planet where the natives supposedly were okay with them staying they got lowkey betrayed. Can’t blame Poe for being distrustful. “How many days are we staying again?”

“Is he always like this?” Finn asked from behind them.

Leia rolled her eyes, but it was all fondness. All motherly warmth he sometimes found himself needing so desperately it physically hurt. “Always. You better get used to it.”

Poe didn’t reply. Didn’t protest or come up with excuses, but simply listened to Finn laugh. It made him feel a little better, at least. A little.

“You’re tense,” Rey mumbled as they started walking toward the palace they were supposed to stay at, the King that Leia had known for years and his people visible from afar, waiting for them with literally open arms. Poe quickened his pace. Didn’t want them to start pondering over possibly betraying them for keeping them waiting.

“I am,” he replied, not mentioning how badly his jaw hurt from constantly gritting his teeth, or how stiff his back and shoulders always felt. This wasn’t a pity party. “But hey, maybe a regular bed will help.”

Rey’s smile was small, understanding, absolutely stunning, and Poe knew she saw right through him. “Hopefully.”

“General Organa!” the King - Terso something - exclaimed when they were within earshot, and Leia passed them all with inhuman speed to reach the King for a hug. Just how close were they again? “We welcome you and the Resistance to our home. I trust you have had a pleasant journey?”

“Just almost got killed a couple times,” Poe didn’t say.

“It went very smoothly,” Leia did say.

“Ah, but you must be hungry! Come. Let us eat before we do anything else.”

So maybe Poe had just been hangry this entire time. He slumped in his chair, comfortable and big enough for his hips that never got narrower despite how little he was eating recently. His bowl was empty for the second time that night, but even though the soup was delicious he couldn’t bring himself to get up and take a third portion. It would be bad manners and make him sick anyway.

“Are you content?” he asked Finn and Rey, both sitting to his right with Finn closest to him.

He sighed happily. “Very. I’m so ready for bed now.”

“We can’t just leave,” Rey said.

His sigh was long suffering this time. “I know, but a guy can dream.”

“Did they ever say anything about sleeping arrangements?” Jess asked on Poe’s other side. “Do we all get our own rooms or? Not to be spoiled, but if I got just one night alone where I could spread out I would happily kill off the rest of the First Order myself.”

Poe found himself laughing for the first time all evening. “Let’s make sure that happens then.”

Finn leaned closer, his voice low. “You think we can- I mean, the three of us-”

“Probably,” Poe said, nodding. “Best case, the three of us share and Jess can sleep alone.” It sounded mean, but was actually heaven for all four involved. They hadn’t actually ever made it explicitly clear that they were a thing, him, Finn and Rey, but it was probably obvious. Something they didn’t need to disclose with words.

Or so he assumed. So he hoped.

In the end, they let them all handle it by themselves. There were plenty of rooms, and Jess made it clear she was going to have one to herself. Poe, Finn and Rey all piled into one bed, slightly crowded, but good enough for them. More than good enough, as the mattress was heavenly and the room warm and cozy.

“Never wake me up again,” he said as he settled down between them, his body heavy and mind content.

Finn snorted. “You’ll be begging for breakfast tomorrow morning.”

“And if you were good partners you would bring me some.”

Rey poked his belly. “In your dreams, Dameron.”

“I will have many of those tonight,” he said, absentmindedly rubbing at his midriff.

Mostly, he was looking forward to being with them, in their arms, their hands and lips right there, without feeling like anyone judged them. Without being disturbed. The actual dream.

Of course they decided he couldn’t rest yet. Of course they did. Poe yelped when Rey’s hand returned to his skin, fingers wiggling this time, and he was giggling already, already finding it unbearable, and already loving every second of it.

Knowing bastards.

“Wait!” he cried when Finn joined, the two of them tickling his upper body so softly, so softly, and Poe nearly broke and started breaking away. Nearly.

“Is this how you tickle people?” Rey asked. “I mean, he doesn’t seem to be wanting to escape. Poe, is this right?”

Oh no. They were being cruel.

“I think people usually do want to get away,” Finn added. “What’s going on here?”

Oh, they were being really cruel.

He tried to roll over, which seemed impossible in the tiny space. “Guys, please!”

“Please what?” Rey’s smile was positively evil. “Keep going? Because I don’t think you want us to stop.”

“You seem to be needing this anyway, with how grumpy you’ve been recently.” Finn moved upward, his fingers unbearable against Poe’s neck. “Is this good? Is this how you tickle a ticklish neck?”

Rey joined, her fingers on Poe’s ear. “Are people usually ticklish on their ears?”

“Not sure.”

Poe was dying.

It was a sweet death.

And, as he lied there dying with Finn and Rey laughing along with him, he thought that at least they had this, even if he didn’t fully trust the king. At least they had this.

#tickling #finnpoerey #jedistormpilot #ticklish!poe #finnpoerey fic #star wars fic #mine #ana's fics #all nerves #tickle fic

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tellmevarric · 6 years

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Hopes And Dreams

A little piece for Day 1 of Stormpilot Week. The theme was: Matchmaker Leia or Mutual Pining. I kind of combined the two of them.

The Millenium Falcon was not a big ship, something that was emphasised all the more by the number of people on board. For all that the Resistance numbered a bare handful now, they still made the old freighter seem crowded. It made trying to avoid people a little difficult but eventually Poe managed it, tucking himself away in a corner of one of the holds behind a bulkhead. He needed some time to himself, to centre himself and to think, and with everyone looking to him as much as they did to the General, trying to do that anywhere else was difficult.

He needed some time to build up his internal defences again. He’d never really considered how things were going to go when Finn woke up. He’d had some hopes that maybe that connection between them meant something, that he meant something to Finn, but he’d never let himself think about it beyond some vague hopes and daydreams. Those hopes and dreams had taken their first knock when Finn had woken up and he’d intercepted him in the corridor. Finn had barely seemed to register his presence, more concerned about Rey than anything else. But Poe had his own challenges at that time and everything else had ended up on the backburner until now.

Now though, they were stuck in a small ship as they made for an old rebel base that Leia knew about, to hunker down and hope that some of their allies sucked up the courage to join them and rebuild the Resistance. It made avoiding Finn difficult and worse, it made avoiding seeing Finn and Rey or Finn and Rose difficult. Finn always seemed more pleased to see them, more willing to spend time with them than he was with Poe and now Poe had to find a way to shove all those half-formed hopes and dreams back into their box and forget them. Which was proving to be easier said than done.

“There you are.”

Poe gave a start and leaned forward to look around the bulkhead he was hiding behind. “Leia?” He sighed. “What’s happened now?”

“Nothing,” she said as she came round and sat down on a crate in front of his little hidey-hole. “Your brooding was getting annoying.”

“I’m not…” He stopped as she gave him an unimpressed look and sighed again. He seemed to be very good at getting unimpressed looks from her these days. “Alright, I am brooding.”

Leia smirked at him faintly. “What I can’t figure out is why you’re sitting here sulking instead of going out and spending time with your man.”

Poe blinked. “I’m not sulking,” he said, deliberately avoiding the second part of Leia’s statement.

That earned him another unimpressed look. “Now you’re just being obtuse.”

“He’s not my man,” Poe replied, his unhappiness shining through for a moment before he shoved it down. “He never was.”

Leia sighed. “Poe, I may not be a Jedi but I can feel the Force and I can feel the thread that binds you two together.”

“He’s not interested,” Poe said, firmly ignoring the hope that threatened to rise at Leia’s words. “He’s… I’ve seen the way he looks at Rey. And at Rose.”

Leia now looked exasperated. “Do you always leave your brains in the cockpit, flyboy?”

Poe frowned. “What do you mean?”

“That boy spends half his time pining after you and the other half trying to look good in your eyes,” Leia said, dryly amused.

“But… Rey?”

Leia chuckled. “Oh, he has a bond with her, it’s true, but it’s more like the one I had with Luke.”

Poe stared at her for a moment. “And Rose?”

“She’s his friend.” Leia gave him an exasperated look. “Get your backside out of that hole, General Dameron, and get your act together.”

Poe grimaced and began to climb out then he suddenly stopped and stared at her. “Wait… General?”

“Congratulations,” Leia said dryly. “You just got promoted.”

“But…” Poe swallowed. “I failed you. And the Resistance.”

Leia stared down at the floor for a moment then she got to her feet. “One thing you’re going to learn about rebellions and resistances, Poe, is that we all fail from time to time. We can’t win every battle and we don’t always succeed. Sometimes we even get brought down to our knees. It’s not the falling that matters, General. It’s the getting up and continuing to fight that’s important.”

Poe nodded slowly, lost in his own thoughts as he assimilated that. He didn’t notice Leia smile at him proudly and take her leave and he certainly didn’t notice her nod to the man who entered the hold.

“Poe?”

Finn’s voice startled Poe out of his thoughts and he stared at the other man with surprise for a moment.

“She made me a General,” he blurted before he could gather his wits properly.

“Yeah,” Finn said with a small smile. “She did the same to me. Said we were following in some time-honoured traditions but she wouldn’t elaborate.”

“The Rebellion threw people into leadership roles like that,” Poe said, still a little distracted. He then sloughed off that mood and looked at Finn. He swallowed hard before asking, “How’s Rey? And Rose?”

“Rose is recovering well,” Finn said with a hint of ruefulness that Poe would have loved an explanation for. He suspected it had something to do with how she’d been injured. “And Rey…” He grinned wryly. “Rey told me to get my head out of my ass and come down here and tell you how I felt before she did it for me.”

Poe gaped for a moment then he blinked. “Tell me how…?” He began to smile. “Leia was pretty much doing the same thing.”

“Yeah?” Finn said as he took a step forward towards Poe.

Poe matched that step. “Yeah.”

Finn grinned. “Then… can I…?”

“Yeah,” Poe said hurriedly, cutting him off. “Yeah, you can… you can do whatever you want.”

Finn laughed at his eagerness then closed the gap and pressed their lips together in a gentle kiss. Poe sighed into it and closed his eyes as Finn wrapped an arm around his waist. They embraced and just kissed for a while and when the kiss finally ended, they didn’t part, just stood there in each other��s embrace and rested their foreheads against the other.

“That was… great,” Finn said, his smile full of wonder.

“There’s a lot more where that came from, buddy,” Poe replied with a chuckle.

Finn laughed at him. “I’m looking forward to it.”

They swayed together for a moment then they kissed again, drawn together without thought or words. Poe let out a whine as Finn pressed him back against the bulkhead and things might have gone further then and there but the ship suddenly lurched as they dropped out of hyperspace. They broke apart and looked at each other.

“We’re here,” Poe said.

“Yeah.”

“We’d better…” Poe gestured towards the rest of the ship.

He’d admit he was pleased when Finn looked a little disappointed. “Yeah.”

“We’ll… come back to this though,” Poe said, leaning in to capture another quick kiss. “Soon.”

“Good,” Finn said with a smile before slowly pulling away and stepping back. He straightened his clothes then held out one hand. “Coming. General Dameron?”

Poe took his hand and grinned. “You bet, General Finn.”

#stormpilotweek #stormpilotweek2018 #stormpilot #finnpoe #poe dameron #finn #writing #fic #star wars

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padmeskywalkers · 6 years

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I was tagged by @ffinn thanks holli!! ♡

Rules: Answer 30 questions, tag 20 blogs

Nicknames: mels, meli, etc.

Gender: female

Sign: leo

Height: 5′7″

Time: 1:15pm currently

Birthday: august 5th

Fav bands: imagine dragons

Fav solo artists: bruno mars, taylor swift

Song stuck in my head: have a nice day by bon jovi for some reason

Last movie I saw: In Theaters: The Last Jedi. At home: Big Hero Six.

Last show I watched: Friends

When did I create my blog: a long time ago in a galaxy far far away (aka march 19th, 2013)

What do I post: a whole bunch of star wars, marvel, harry potter, disney, stranger things, lit, etc.

Last thing I Googled: uhh i think my url lol

Do I have any other blogs: yeah, tons. mostly just for personal storage. @i-is-the-tick (aesthetic blog), @thefaultinourstyle (fashion blog), @im-not-a-princess-im-the-queen (celebs and models), @idreamedatheme (theme storage), @theiconwoman (icon storage), @thegifhuntison (gif hunt storage), @voicelesscrieswinglessflutters (quotes blog), @wrote-my-own-deliverancee (writing ref storage), @ifyoustandfornothing (political/social justice blog), @withoutacentofrestitution (general ref storage), @padma-patils (studyblr), @notdaisyjohnson (colours blog), @octaviae (inactive the 100 sideblog), and i’m a reblogger for @dailyhermionegranger

Do I get asks: sometimes!

Why did I chose my URL: because i love padme with all my heart and soul

Following: 193

Followed by: 777

Average hours of Sleep: on school nights 6-7, on the weekends 9-11

Lucky number: 8

Instruments: oboe

What I am wearing: c-3po pyjama bottoms and a millenium falcon top

Dream job: working with some kind of really cool company. i’m in finance/accounting, and it’d be really cool to work in a huge company like disney or something tbh. never gonna happen but hey, it’s a dream for a reason.

Dream trip: new zealand

Fav food: potatoes in any form

Nationality: white canadian

Fav song: tbh i’ve been feeling the wonder woman score a lot lately so that I guess

Last book I read: currently rereading pride and prejudice, and just finished as you like it (not sure if that counts since it’s a play)

Top 3 fictional universes I wanna join: star wars, harry potter and lord of the rings

Tagging: @elvendragonlord @janes-hoppers @solovalker @jynserso @morbidsucre @ffinn @bellamys @reneewvlker @wegotintoacoma @theleiaskywalker @lovegoodd @frayclary @jedianakin @starrypadme @rchietczier @chvirrut @hunams @leejordan @softlumos @softnaberrie

#tagged some newer mutuals because i'd love to get to know you guys some more!#no obligation to do it if you were tagged #as per usual #thanks for the tag holli!

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twopointthreeninetoone · 7 years

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(I’ll warn you up front: This shit is long. Because I wrote it while I was watching it, all those many years ago. Also, although I grew up on the movies and love them to death, 1) this is still pretty irreverent, so if you’re a mega-Star Wars fan and want to read nothing but praise for the movies, uh, don’t read this; and 2) I don’t know the official names for a lot of the characters and ships and weapons and so on. So don’t send my nasty anon messages about how I spelled sarlaac wrong. Because I honestly don’t give a fuck how many a’s are in that bloody word. But yeah. We’ll start at the end. That’s a very good place to start.

Revenge Return of the Jedi (1983)

So, it’s been three years since The Empire Strikes Back. We imagine that Luke & Co. were knocking around the galaxy—Luke finishing his Jedi training, Leia undoubtedly trying to figure out a way to get her boyfriend back, and oh yeah, there’s that whole rebellion thing going on as well. Or maybe this takes places shortly after The Empire Strikes Back, with Luke & Co. stopping long enough for a cuppa before heading off to Jabba the Hut’s pad to rescue poor Han. In any case, here we are, and we’re at Jabba the Hut’s place, and some weird shit is about to go down (read: metal bikini).

It’s apparently a three-pronged attack—initially R2D2 and C3PO lead the first wave of attack, pouncing upon Jabba’s compound with the grace and ferocity of black jaguars. Or, they go there and are instantly given to Jabba by Luke as a sign of friendship. It should be noted that Luke (or Mark Hamill) looks wrecked by now…and he’s wearing black. The Fuck-Up Luke of the Past is no more, my friends. We now have a calmer, more Stable Jedi Luke, who wears black and talks in a monotone voice and drops his friends at the slightest chance of getting to be in with the cool Jabba the Hut. It’s just not cool, Luke.

After this scene, George Lucas injected a musical number for the special edition DVD. Because we needed it. We really did. It didn’t stop the story at all. It wasn’t weird. And I didn’t fast forward through it. Nope. Because it was necessary, damn it. A green alien dancer also gets eaten by a monster. It should be noted that Lucas put in a few more shots of the dancer, twenty-one years after the fact. What’s even more amazing is the fact that he doesn’t use CGI—oh no, not him. He uses the same actress from the original movie, and what’s more amazing is that she looks the same. If I hadn’t known all this, I would have thought it was old footage. I just have to hope and pray that I look like her when I’m forty or fifty.

Second phase of the attack: Chewbacca and a strange alien bounty hunter guy stop by and the bounty hunter sells Chewbacca to Jabba. You notice a pattern starting here. Jabba thinks this is all pretty cool. What he would do with Chewbacca, I really don’t know; although one imagines those Wookiee-skin rugs on the walls don’t bode well for him. Either that, or…metal bikini. Oh, and all this time you can see poor Han in his carbonite slab, a very interesting (if mean-spirited) wall decoration for Jabba’s lair. I can imagine Jabba showing his partygoers around. “…And this is Han Solo, a bounty hunter who crossed me way back when, so I had him encased in carbonite. Would you like some punch?” The Strange Alien Bounty Hunter gets to stick around, I guess. They don’t much care what he does now. It’s a bit like the Kennedy compound in that respect.

That night the Strange Alien Bounty Hunter sneaks through Jabba’s dance room. It sneaks around sneakily, and satisfactorily knocks over a lamp, runs into some wind chimes, steps on a cat, triggers an alarm, trips on another cat, steps on a rake, breaks a window, starts a fire, gets the dog barking, sets fire to a cat, and sneezes. It’s still able to reach Han Solo and free him from the carbonite (in one of those cool eighties graphics like the kind you see in Ghostbusters and Labyrinth). When he hits the ground, it sounds like a freighter was dropped off the Empire State Building. That’s probably what woke Jabba up, but we’ll never know. In any case, hey, Han is blind. Can’t see a thing, and his hair is slicked back in that eighties manner. And he’s really cold, poor guy. So he can’t see the Strange Alien Bounty Hunter take him into its arms and cuddle him. This was the first Star Wars movie I saw, and I distinctly remember thinking that was really, really weird. As the Strange Alien Bounty Hunter soothes him, Han asks, “Who are you?” The Strange Alien Bounty Hunter takes off its helmet to reveal that it is actually—Martin Landau! Actually, it’s Leia. “Someone who loves you,” she tells him. “Calista?” he asks. It’s not. It’s Leia. They kiss. It’s sweet. There’s laughing. It’s Jabba the Hut and his entire Crazy dance party. They were waiting in the shadows the whole time. Jabba’s Crazy Dance Party is actually a lot like those high-profile cocaine parties from the eighties. I think George Lucas was trying to say something.

Han tries to bargain with Jabba—and sounds like a used-car dealer in the process—but it’s no use. He’s chucked into prison while Jabba takes Leia and…well…metal bikini. It’s interesting to note that the metal bikini has become the fuel to the fire of countless fanboys’ fantasies. I guess it’s a boy thing. It doesn’t look comfortable at all, Carrie Fisher looks mortified, and the whole idea of being a sex slave to a huge slug shows that George Lucas was one sick motherfucker. He really is. Freudians will analyze this trilogy and officially announce that George Lucas probably should have been locked up long ago (preferably before he made the Star Wars prequels).

In the last wave of the attack, everybody stupidly decides to go banco on Luke Skywalker. Because if the past two movies have taught us anything, it’s that Luke Skywalker gets things done, damn it. He comes in, says a lot of things in a sage-like manner, and is ultimately thrown into the cage of that big monster that ate the Alien Dancing Girl. This scene is really sad, because a hog-like guard is thrown in as well, and as he tries desperately to crawl up the walls of the cave, the big monster picks him up and eats him as he squeals like the hog creature that he is. George Lucas, you are a sick bastard. In any case, Luke gets out of it with his Jedi Skillz, and as a reward for his obvious prowess, Jabba sends him, Han, and Chewie into the Living Pit Thing (a pit with a thing that eats other things).

Before this, Han and Luke have a funny exchange:

Luke: You’re not missing much. I used to live here, you know.

Han: You’re going to die here, you know. Convenient.

Han says shit like this the entire time. I love him. So a lot of things happen at the Living Pit Thing. Because that’s the kind of happening place it is. Luke has a Master Plan and gets them all out of trouble, but not before Lando Calrissian (who was there as well) almost gets eaten by the monster. When I saw this for the first time, I was very worried about Lando, despite the fact that I had no idea who he was. My thoughts were more or less, “Won’t someone please help that poor black man! He’s the only black man in the galaxy!” And it was true. During the whole big fracas, Leia (still a sex slave in a metal bikini) strangles Jabba with her chains. Typical sex slave/pimp-related murder. George, I said it once and I’ll say it again—you are one sick son of a bitch.

So after everyone is saved, Luke goes to finish his training with Yoda, and I guess the others just fuck around the galaxy a little more. Yoda dies. Why does one of the most beloved characters in the trilogy die? I can only guess it’s because Lucas is a sick man, hates all that is good in the world, and didn’t want to pay Frank Oz any more than he had to. The thing is, Yoda looks kind of funny before he dies. His eyes are kind of crossed, and his ears are bent, and damn it if he’s making any sense to me. Kind of like Ronald Reagan, I guess. Yep, I went there.

Obi-Wan Kenobe doesn’t know when he’s licked, and his spirit won’t go away. Luke doesn’t let the fact that Obi’s dead stop him from bothering him with questions. Yoda does mention that “there is another” right before he dies. Another? Wasn’t the Darth-Vader-Is-Luke’s-Father thing big enough? And, hey, it turns out to be Leia! What kind of galaxy is this, where everyone turns out to be related to one another? Is this galaxy located in the Deep South part of the universe? Luke is shocked, shocked to learn not only that Leia is his sister, but also that: 1) he kissed—and probably had romantic feelings for—his sister, and 2) he saw his sister in a metal bikini. George, you sick fuck…

Hey, guess what! Remember when we thought that the Death Star had exploded to teeny tiny bits and would never ever be a threat, ever again? Well we were wrong! Because it’s back! And they have to blow it up real good again! Han, Luke, & Co. resolve to destroy it, and while they’re at it, they should probably just destroy the Empire while they’re at it. Because, you know, it’s getting to be a nuisance. They go to the forest moon of Endor, where the power station of the Death Star’s force field is located, while everyone else (including Lando, who gets to fly in the Millenium Falcon) waits in space so they can blow up the Death Star II and all the other Imperial fleets. Han’s a greater person than I am; I won’t let anyone drive my PT Cruiser to the grocery store. Just goes to show you how much he’s matured (and how immature and insecure I am).

Carrie Fisher has a cigarette-laden voice. Just wanted to point that out. And Harrison Ford is still hot (even if he does just seem to be here for laughs).

Cool Endor hover-bike chase scene! The price of admission is worth it. I’d recreate this scene whenever I was biking through the forest when I was younger. And the part where Leia wrecks her hover-bike and is thrown to the ground? That scene was recreated a lot. I never found myself approached by Ewoks though. More like rabid raccoons. In any case, Luke succeeds in losing his sister and wrecking his own bike. My own sister was like him in that respect.

Another funny line—just after Luke & Co. realize that Leia is missing, R2D2 beeps a bit and C3PO says to him, “And you said it was pretty here.”

Ewoks. Ewoks are funny little things. I’m thinking that Lucas put them in the movie just to appease the li’l kiddies (the metal bikini probably placed a lot of odd, uncomfortable questions in their fragile little minds). Twenty years later, a good deal of these li’l kiddies will loathe those little teddy bear creatures with a passion. I don’t care about them one way or another—they’re all right and they move the story along. I remember knowing of them, and liking them, as a little kid—about six years before I’d even seen the movie. Insane. The Ewoks are somehow able to capture Han & Co. How they’re able to do this, I have no idea. They might be smarter than you think. And, they have spears. Funnily enough, they accept C3PO as their god. No kidding. Methinks they would have accepted the McDonald’s Golden Arch as their god if the situation had presented itself. They take them all back to their tree-top living arrangement, with C3PO enthroned, and everyone else (even poor R2D2) tied up to be roasted over flames, slowly. These li’l guys are the cutest. And hey, there’s Leia! She’s up there in the Tree Top Compound as well! She looks like a hippie folk singer! Luke is a fucking tool, to the point where I actually kind of miss the whiny Luke of the Past. They’re saved when Luke uses his Skillz to make everything all right. Why he didn’t fucking do this in the first place, I have no idea. Luke and Leia manage to have a heart-to-heart, wherein Luke tells her that she’s his sister and, uh, Darth Vader is their dad. Leia is shocked, shocked not only by this, but also by the realization that: 1) she kissed (and probably had romantic feelings for) her brother, 2) her father tried to kill her numerous times, 3) her father destroyed her entire home planet, 4) her father froze her boyfriend in carbonite, and 5) her brother saw her in a metal bikini. Tough times. Han’s confused by the fact that everyone looks really shocked, but no one will tell him anything. Welcome to my world, buddy. He thinks Luke and Leia are in love. Dude, you don’t want to know what you’ve gotten yourself into.

Luke surrenders himself to Darth Vader (that sounded dirty) thinking that Darth would show some compassion for the first time in, oh, six years. He’s wrong. His punk ass gets owned by Darth, who takes him to the Emperor. Luke doesn’t want to give up the hope that his dad might actually be a nice guy, and will let him by, just this once. Kid, I’ve had the same problem with just about a million teachers. It won’t work. Your ass is toast. Although I will admit, I was never given the chance to fight-to-the-death with any of my teachers. Unfortunately.

More stuff happens. For the rest of the movie, Han & Co. try to get into that power station and turn off the force field of the Death Star II. Ewoks are involved. It is both cute and sad, as little Ewok soldiers lay down their lives for a cause that I’m fairly sure none of them have ever heard about until now, or can never ever really comprehend, no less. Imagine going into the woods outside your house, gathering up all the squirrels in the forest, and explaining to them that we’re at war right now, and would really like their help in fighting, because you see we have all these intergalactic congresses and councils and things went to hell and an Empire sprang up, etc. They’ll be sure to help you out.

Luke meets the Emperor. It doesn’t go well. Darth Vader refers to Luke as “my son” a bit too much in front of the boss. Luke, Darth, and the Emperor spend the rest of the movie in a deadly game of cat-and-mouse, as Luke realizes that if he doesn’t fight Vader, then his friends will die and the rebellion will be crushed, but if he gives into his anger, then the Dark Side will win. It’s a bit of a pickle. And, Lando and the rest of the Rebels pick a dogfight against the Empire’s big-ass ships. I mention this because some of John Williams’ best music in the trilogy comes from these scenes. Han & Co. continue to fight on Endor—first getting caught (“You rebel scum”, a Storm Trooper says when he catches them, which led me to believe for a very long time that all rebels were cool, until I learned about all that Civil War stuff. Some rebels really aren’t cool.) In the end, they’re saved by the Ewoks. See, aren’t you surprised that even though they seem small and powerless, they actually play a huge part in aiding the heroes of the movie? Doesn’t this make you feel a bit better about being short and weak? Those li’l guys are dangerous though. Never forget that. They viciously take out an entire battalion of Storm Troopers and their Evil Chicken-Like Tank Things. They could tear you apart, given the chance, and still seem adorable as your bloodied entrails are dangling from their fangs. R2D2 gets shot and explodes (poor thing). An Ewok dies on-screen. It is Sad. Hundreds of rebel fighters are killed when the Death Star II blows up their ships. It’s not as Sad. The only other black guy in the galaxy (an X-wing fighter pilot) dies. So does an Asian guy. It’s Weird.

At one point in the light saber duel, Darth Vader picks apart Luke’s mind and discovers that Leia is his daughter. He actually doesn’t seem too shocked at this, probably because: 1) he’s evil. I just wanted to mention this part (where Darth threatens to get Leia and Luke gets angry and fights him full-force) because the music in it is really cool. It’s probably my favorite part of the movie. Ironically enough, just when Han & Co. get things straight on Endor and turn off the force field, and Lando & Co. fly into the Death Star II and try to blow it up, the Emperor decides that Luke isn’t going to give in and proceeds to slowly torture and kill him, as Darth watches. Luke pleads for his father to help him, once again showing that he really hasn’t learned anything. You need to fight your own battles, son. You can’t go running off to Daddy whenever you need help. Vader shows that he really hasn’t learned anything about being a father by picking up the Emperor and tossing him down a very deep cavern, thus killing himself in the process. Before he dies he asks for Luke to take his mask off, so that he can look on his son “with my own eyes”. This is surprisingly sad, not least of all because this is the end of James Earl Jones’ cool Evil Darth Vader voice. He takes off the helmet to reveal—Humpty Dumpty! Yes, his dad has a face that looks like an egg. Darth Vader dies. Luke gets out of the Death Star II before Lando & Co. blows it up. Back on Endor, Han & Co. celebrate the destruction of the Death Star II (the explosion is pretty). He tells Leia that, when Luke comes back, “I won’t get in your way.” He’s so cute when he’s emotionally destroyed. Leia laughs at him and tells him that it’s not like that, that Luke’s not heavy, he’s her brother. Funny part: you can see that fact slowly register on Han’s face, and he grins and kisses her.

So there are several CGI-produced shots of various planets celebrating the end of the Empire, and then we go back to Endor, where everyone involved is partying with the Ewoks. The original sickeningly-sweet Ewok song of the original movie is gone on the DVD, replaced by a much-nicer instrumental. Luke decides to delay his partying so he can burn his dead dad on pyre (I hate parties too, Luke). Then he joins his friends and everybody hugs and dances and it’s cute. Luke looks out into the distance and sees—dear God—the spirits of Obi-Wan Kenobe, Yoda, and his Dad! The schizophrenia has finally set in! In the DVD version, we see not the original actor who played Egg-Faced-Dad Anakin Skywalker, but Hayden Christensen, who plays Anakin in the prequels. This is terrible. He’s considerably bigger than Obi-Wan, and he looks evil and displaced. In any case, Luke waves and runs off to join his friends. The last shot of the movie is of them all—Luke, Leia, Chewbacca, R2D2 and C3PO, Lando, and the Real Hero Han—sitting together and laughing and stuff. The Empire has been crushed, the Dark Side has been defeated, and one thing is for certain: everyone is going to need a lot of therapy.

[Photo is from ScreenFish]

#Star Wars #Return of the Jedi #Billy Dee Williams #Carrie Fisher #Richard Marquand

3 notes · View notes

rebelbasecardpod · 4 years

Text

Show notes for Episode 66: ScarifCon 2020

ScarifCon 2020 took place at AlleyCat Comics in Chicago on Sunday July 19th. A joint effort to support small businesses which featured Dominic Pace from the Mandalorian along with Ro Gazga from the Scarif Podcast who live streamed the event. Also on hand were Heather and Todd from the WSTR podcast (also 501st members), and Rob from The Jedi Temple Archives podcast as well as members of the Midwest Garrison of the 501st and the Mandalorian Mercs.

Tonight’s episode brings you with some interviews from the event.

Find Dominic Pace online:

Twitter:

@dominicppace

Instagram: @dominicpace1

https://www.gekkothebountyhunter.com

https://www.facebook.com/lairofthegekko/

AlleyCat Comics

5304 N Clark St, Chicago, IL 60640

Ro Gazga from Scarif Podcast

Twitter: @roGazga

Instagram: @ro_gaz

Heather Alred from WSTR

Twitter: @hawkawesome

Instagram: @hawk_awesome

WSTR Podcast

https://www.facebook.com/wstrmedia/

YouTube

Rob LaBarre - Jedi Temple Archives

Twitter: @JtaPodcast

Instagram: @jtapodcast

Todd Hoffman from WSTR & BigTLitT Podcast

Twitter: @tizzzod

Instagram @tizzzzod

Twitter: @BLiltpodcast

Instagram: @bigtliltpodcast

https://bigtliltpodcast.libsyn.com

Release dates can always fluctuate in upcoming Topps sets, so please note changes can be reflected in the show notes below.

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Podcast Listeners: Friend of the show and sketch card artist Ben Abusaada is giving our listeners 20% off sketch cards on his Etsy page - using coupon code "REBELBASECARD”

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2020 New Product Calendar:

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Out now

Topps Living Set current offering:

Topps Star Wars Authentics Autographs

Topps The Journey of the Child

Topps Star Wars The Rise of Skywalker Series 2

Topps Star Wars Authentics Autographs 8x10

Select retail stores may still have in stock:

Skywalker Saga

Rise of Skywalker Series 1

Topps Women of Star Wars

Online Hobby Box resources

Blowout Cards

Dave & Adams Card World

Steel City Collectibles

Card Supplies

Ultra Pro

BCW Supplies

To be released:

8/5/2020 Topps Chrome Perspectives Resistance vs The First Order

9/9/2020 Topps Holocron Series

10/21/2020 Topps Star Wars Stellar Signatures

11/4/2020 Mandalorian Season 1

12/9/2020 Masterwork 2020

Make sure you check Cardboard Connections for a full card release calendar!

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Current Podcast Playlist:

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The Marvel Card Collectors Podcast

The Black Squadron Podcast

WaxPackHero podcast

The Cantina Cast/Mando Mondays

Coffee with Kenobi

Full of Sith

Star Wars Autograph News

The Star Wars Report

Around the Galaxy/Streaming Star Wars

Force Material

What the Force Podcast

Fantha Tracks Radio

Beyond the Outer Rim

Meanwhile at the Podcast

Star Wars Reactions

WSTR Galactic Public Access

Star Wars Car Talk

Scarif Podcast

Jedi Temple Archives

Please consider subscribing to the podcast on your pod catcher of choice and you would do me a big favor by rating and reviewing what you hear. If you are a sketch card artist or Star Wars artist, or collector and want to talk about your Star Wars art, passion or project, drop me a line at [email protected] - And If you have any feedback or tips for collectors, you can put a comment in the post for the episode and/or send an email to the above address. Thanks!

TROS Series 2 6/24

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Kylo Ren Continuity 11-15

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Millenium Falcon Relic Silver 1/25 Gold 1/10 Black 1/1

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Autograph Parallels

Red 1/99, Silver 1/25, Gold 1/10, Black 1/1 Printing plate #1/1

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100 base cards.

2020 Topps I am your Father's Day Set 19.99 Avail until 6/26-27 19.99

1 Darth Vader / Princess Leia

2 Darth Vader / Luke Skywalker

3 The Mandalorian / The Child

4 Han Solo / Ben Solo

5 Uncle Owen Lars / Luke Skywalker

6 Bail Organa / Leia Organa

7 Jango Fett / Boba Fett

8 Cham Syndulla / Hera Syndulla

9 Sabine Wren / Alrich Wern

10 Galen Erso / Jyn Erso

2020 Topps Star Wars Authentics Autographs 8x10 6/24

07/29/20 $99.95

1 card and 1 autographed photo per box, 12 boxes per case

Adam Driver

Alden Ehrenreich

Ben Burtt

Billy Dee Williams

Cameron Monaghan

Daisy Ridley

Domhnall Gleeson

Dominic Monaghan

Donnie Yen

Felicity Jones

Forest Whitaker

Freddie Prinze Jr.

Giancarlo Esposito

Gina Carano

Gwendoline Christie

Harrison Ford

Hayden Christensen

Ian McDiarmid

John Boyega

Kelly Marie Tran

Naomi Ackie

Nick Nolte

Omid Abtahi

Paul Reubens

Riz Ahmed

Sarah Michelle Gellar

Werner Herzog

0 notes

junkcereals · 5 years

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Junk Cereals: Honeycombs ... in Egg Nog

I can't say that I ever ate Honeycomb before or that my mom bought it. If she did, I would have known because I searched the cupboards thoroughly when I wanted something. Now that I have encountered Honeycomb, I must say that it's both awful for your teeth if you're not extremely careful and that it was probably one of the first cereals designed to be eaten dry. Seriously, who sits down at a table with this? None of the Avengers do. I'd say Captain America eats Wheaties, Black Widow (for much of her life) has eaten either Cocoa Puffs or Malt-o-Meal depending on her situation, Iron Man eats Blueberry Frosted Mini-Wheats and Doctor Strange eats Cheerios. Yes, that's how it goes and if Max Fury counts all his trips to the grocery store and the number of times Honeycomb gets mentioned, it's a blank space on that board. And when I saw that Honeycomb was back in its original flavor, I must have missed when it branched out in all sorts of directions. But last year, Post reformulated it and all 10 people who liked it from its inception in 1965 gathered in the downstairs TV den of their commune (look, this is just one of a few hangouts in the commune) and composed a joint letter addressing Post with their grievances. Post atoned for its sin, as well as the mistakes of making chocolate, strawberry and cinna-graham varieties and not marketing to those outside of the Post cereal fanbase (which is small and exclusive in the way a country club with mediocre putting greens treasures its exclusivity).

Still, Honeycomb has a general honey flavor, not the bold flavor of Honey Nut Cheerios or Honey Nut Chex. No, the bees Post has access to have languished from years only watching Cleveland Browns football. Also, there's something about biting into one of these pieces that feels like cutting something dramatically with a serrated knife. That's a fear I can only get past when I'm not thinking about what just entered my mouth before heading to the gym.

But one other thing can help you get through this. During the holiday season, you're looking for inspiration. You can't think of the right gift to buy. You and your spouse/live-in significant other/roommate/commune mate/group home buddy/voluntary cohabitant/lessee are at your wit's end with holiday stress. So you need to change it up, especially since you went shopping last and one of your misguided purchases was Honeycomb. Congratulations, no one has eaten it because no one wants to be the first and no one wants to get braces again. Solution: pour egg nog on that Honeycomb. Not the alcoholic kind you made because there's a party and you had to prove your magic. The stuff you buy at the store when you actually get beverages you want. Watch that egg nog flow in around and through those Honeycomb hexagons.

Those pieces make choices of a lifetime, float, sink or hang somewhere in between. They become moderately soft. There's separation and then there's not. You get some action, the type of soupy action you can respect, which is rare, but you know this cereal is being challenged in a way Post wasn't when it created this as a reactionary antidote for hippie culture. Now, you're back in the holiday spirit. You were thinking about making eggs, but that would take time and it would never be as enjoyable as telling at a bowl of cereal to level up. Sure, you don't taste the honey as much, but how much honey flavor do you miss out on? I'll bet some Honeycomb enthusiasts drizzle wild honey on the cereal to get new vibes. Getting egg nog on Honeycomb is the difference between getting your kid generic Legos and getting a big Millenium Falcon set.

Some allege Honeycomb to be fuel for people on the go.

No. Here are the facts: 1 g fat, 177 mg, 45 mg potassium, 28 g carbohydrates (10 g sugar), 15% DV Vitamin A and iron.

The only response to this cereal is the nog.

0 notes

flickdirect · 6 years

Link

There are no doubt countless stories to be told in the densely rich Universe of Star Wars. Its iconic characters, as well as its fringe ones, are household names beloved by generations. After exploring the destinies of a group of unknown rebels in the highly acclaimed Rouge One, the Disney machine churns out an enjoyable, if unnecessary, introspective into one of its most celebrated characters - the legendary Han Solo.

True to George Lucas' vision of a hot rodding ne'er-do-well , we're introduced to Han on his homeworld of Corellia in a speeder chase reminiscent of Harrison Ford (the original actor to play Han Solo) in American Graffiti (a pre-Star Wars Lucas' film, starring Ford). This... might not be the Han Solo you are looking for, however. Ford, who has played the character since 1977, is, of course, absent in this pre "New Hope" era, replaced by Alden Ehrenreich (Beautiful Creatures). His performance in the title role is admirable. These are big shoes to fill and while he's not "the same Han Solo", Ehrenreich does enough to put his own spin on the role and make it believable.

Questions fans have about the backstory of Han Solo are answered. How does Han team up with the Wookie "Chewbacca"? Who gives Han Solo his name? Where does he get the Millenium Falcon? What the hell is a parsec? Beyond these questions, the answers to which are satisfying, the overall plot and story arc of the film is somewhat bland and uninspiring. It's doubtful this movie would exist if it didn't have "A Star Wars Story" attached.

That said, it's an entertaining film and not without its merits. There are some great performances, most notably Donald Glover (The Martian) as the freewheeling space pirate Lando Calrissian. His relationship with Han that we see portrayed in the original trilogy is cemented with a tongue in cheek exchange from the writers "I hate you..." "I know...". The supporting cast does a serviceable job but many of the characters are forgettable and disposed of early in the film. Chewbacca, the loyal Wookie companion to Han, gets his time to shine in the film as well. We see his power, strength, resolve and character development as he helps Han and forges the unbreakable bond we see in the original and sequel trilogies.

Being "Star Wars", there are a number of special effect set pieces which really shine. From a video game-esque dual rail train scene to numerous space chases in the Millenium Falcon, the look and feel of the film is vintage Star Wars and at the top of its class.

There are a few surprise cameos which seem to be forced in a way. It's a "whoa" moment for sure when one of the prequel characters shows up via hologram, but the film is neither made better or worse by it. It falls flat and the casual fan probably doesn't really care either way.

Presented in 2160p with a 2.39:1 aspect ratio Solo: A Star Wars story never truly utilizes the full 4k technology at its disposal. Even with UHD, colors are dark and muted and despite the added relation, the textures are not very sharp and clear. Having been shot natively in this format it is a shame the production didn't translate through to the 4K transfer. Solo: A Star Wars is encoded in Dolby Atmos as well as Dolby TrueHD 7.1, and while the video transfer was a bit of a letdown, the audio is simply mind-blowing. The Dolby Atmos track makes great use of the height speakers and you feel like you are literally in the world of Star Wars, taking a ride on the Millennium Falcon with Chewie and Han.

Special features included in this release are as follows:

Solo: The Director & Cast Roundtable: Director Ron Howard sits with Alden Ehrenreich, Donald Glover, Joonas Suotamo, Emilia Clarke, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Thandie Newton, Woody Harrelson, and Paul Bettany to discuss their roles and working on the film.

Kasdan on Kasdan: Writers Lawrence Kasdan and his son Jonathan talk about working on the film together and discuss working on the franchise.

Remaking the Millennium Falcon: Take a look at the re-creation of the famous ship and the importance of its role in the franchise.

Escape from Corellia: In this feature, we take a look at the opening chase scene of the film and take a look at Han Solo's place in the "Star Wars" universe.

The Train Heist: This feature takes a look at the train heist scene and design of the train itself.

Team Chewie: A look at the relationship between Han and Chewie.

Becoming a Droid: L3-37: A look at Phoebe Waller-Bridge's performance of this character as well as the character itself.

Scoundrels, Droids, Creatures, and Cards: Welcome to Fort Ypso: This feature takes a behind the scenes look at this location in the film and a look at the card game that was played during the scene.

Into the Maelstrom: The Kessel Run: A deeper look into this iconic scene and everything that went into creating it.

Deleted Scenes

If you are a Star Wars fan, there is a lot to like here, and a lot to forget. It's not a terrible movie, but it's not a great one either. As a stand-alone film, void of the "Star Wars" Universe, this one gets a grade of C-. Taking into context all that surrounds it and how it fits into the overall franchise a C+ grade seems appropriate. And that is the real problem. It's just an average film in a Universe that should be filled with A+ material.

Grade: C+

About Eric English Mr. English is president and is in charge of overseeing all mobile app development. Eric English, has loved movies ever since he was a little Jedi master. Though he mainly enjoys comedies such as The Big Lebowski, and In Bruges his taste in movies spans a wide genre of film.

Read more reviews and content by Eric English.

via FlickDirect Entertainment News, Exlclusive Interviews, and Film Reviews

#IFTTT #FlickDirect Entertainment News #Exlclusive Interviews #and Film Reviews

0 notes

rebelbasecardpod · 4 years

Text

Show Notes for Episode 64: Fred Avezzano from Death Star Dispatch

Fred Avezzano runs Death Star Distpatch, a YouTube channel that posts reaction, collection and Star Wars Lore videos. Fred is an avid collector as well and we caught up with him to talk Star Wars collecting and content creation.

You can find Fred on the socials on:

Twitter: @FredDeathStar

Instagram @deathstardispatch

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqsb_6ObItn2H2fltlFLTTw

Full show notes to be posted on www.rebelbasecard.com

There has been some dates changing in upcoming Topps sets, so the release calendar has been updated in the show notes below.

*****************************

Podcast Listeners: Friend of the show and sketch card artist Ben Abusaada is giving our listeners 20% off sketch cards on his Etsy page - using coupon code "REBELBASECARD”

"****************************

******************************

2020 New Product Calendar:

*******************************

Out now

Topps Living Set current offering:

Topps Star Wars Authentics Autographs

Topps The Journey of the Child

Topps Star Wars The Rise of Skywalker Series 2

Topps Star Wars Authentics Autographs 8x10

Select retail stores may still have in stock:

Skywalker Saga

Rise of Skywalker Series 1

Topps Women of Star Wars

Online Hobby Box resources

Blowout Cards

Dave & Adams Card World

Steel City Collectibles

Card Supplies

Ultra Pro

BCW Supplies

To be released:

8/5/2020 Topps Chrome Perspectives Resistance vs The First Order

9/9/2020 Topps Holocron Series

November Mandalorian Season 1

December (Best guess) Masterwork 2020

Make sure you check Cardboard Connections for a full card release calendar!

***************************

Current Podcast Playlist:

***************************

The Marvel Card Collectors Podcast

The Black Squadron Podcast

WaxPackHero podcast

The Cantina Cast/Mando Mondays

Coffee with Kenobi

Full of Sith

Star Wars Autograph News

The Star Wars Report

Around the Galaxy/Streaming Star Wars

Force Material

What the Force Podcast

Fantha Tracks Radio

Beyond the Outer Rim

Meanwhile at the Podcast

Star Wars Reactions

WSTR Galactic Public Access

Star Wars Car Talk

TROS Series 2 6/24

24 packs 8 cards/pack 2 hits one auto $77.95 Pre-order

Introducing Topps Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Series 2 Trading Cards!

Insert sets:

Red 1/99 Bronze1/50 Silver1/25 Gold 1/10 Black1/1 #Printing plate 1/1

Weapons

Heroes of the Resist

Villians of the First

The Knights of Ren

Foil Puzzel - 9

Kylo Ren Continuity 11-15

Costume Relics Silver 1/25 Gold 1/10 Black 1/1

Millenium Falcon Relic Silver 1/25 Gold 1/10 Black 1/1

Commemorative Vehicle Medallion Silver 1/25 Gold 1/10 Black 1/1

Autograph Parallels

Red 1/99, Silver 1/25, Gold 1/10, Black 1/1 Printing plate #1/1

Dual, Triple are numbered 1/1

Six Person Auto

Standard Sketch, Shaped Sketch

Courtesy Topps, Blowout, Cardboard Connection

Chrome Perspectives: Res. v First Ord 8/5

18 packs per box. 6 cards per pack. $67.95 pre-order

Holocron Series 9/9

18 packs/box, 8 cards/pack $64.95 pre-order

18 packs per box. 8 cards per pack.

Featuring characters, story, and information from the entire saga.

200 base cards & 3 different insert sets.

1 Autograph or Sketch Card per box guaranteed!

Mandalorian 11/4

7 packs 8 cards pack $63.95 preorder

100 card base set

Configuration: 7 packs per box. 8 cards per pack.

The entire story of The Mandalorian Season 1 comes to Topps trading cards for the first time, featuring new autograph signers and packaged in a collectible Mandalorian helmet tin!

One autograph or sketch card guaranteed per box.

100 base cards.

2020 Topps I am your Father's Day Set 19.99 Avail until 6/26-27 19.99

1 Darth Vader / Princess Leia

2 Darth Vader / Luke Skywalker

3 The Mandalorian / The Child

4 Han Solo / Ben Solo

5 Uncle Owen Lars / Luke Skywalker

6 Bail Organa / Leia Organa

7 Jango Fett / Boba Fett

8 Cham Syndulla / Hera Syndulla

9 Sabine Wren / Alrich Wern

10 Galen Erso / Jyn Erso

2020 Topps Star Wars Authentics Autographs 8x10 6/24

07/29/20 $99.95

1 card and 1 autographed photo per box, 12 boxes per case

Adam Driver

Alden Ehrenreich

Ben Burtt

Billy Dee Williams

Cameron Monaghan

Daisy Ridley

Domhnall Gleeson

Dominic Monaghan

Donnie Yen

Felicity Jones

Forest Whitaker

Freddie Prinze Jr.

Giancarlo Esposito

Gina Carano

Gwendoline Christie

Harrison Ford

Hayden Christensen

Ian McDiarmid

John Boyega

Kelly Marie Tran

Naomi Ackie

Nick Nolte

Omid Abtahi

Paul Reubens

Riz Ahmed

Sarah Michelle Gellar

Werner Herzog

0 notes

rebelbasecardpod · 4 years

Text

Show Notes for Episode 61: Card News + David Rabbitte/Brent Scotchmer preview

A lot of content in a small episode. We break down Topps’ upcoming the Rise of Skywalker series 2 release coming out this week and the surprise ‘I am your Father online set, along with the answers to our questions to artist David Rabbitte and a sneak preview of the ‘Summer of Scotch’ event with Brent Scotchmer.

David Rabbitte web:

https://www.instagram.com/davidrabbitteart/

Instagram/Twitter @davidrabbitte

Brent Scotchmer

www.brentscotchmer.com

Instagramm/Twitter: @bscotchmer

The Rise of Skywalker Series 2 Pre-order from Blowout Cards (Drops 6/24)

Topps’ Star Wars ‘I am your Father’ Father’s Day set (until 6/26)

Topps’ Star Wars Authentics Autographedhttps://www.blowoutcards.com/pre-orders/2020-topps-star-wars-authentics-autographed-8x10-photo-trading-card-box.html 8x10 + Trading card

There has been some dates changing in upcoming Topps sets, so the release calendar has been updated in the show notes.

Full show notes to be posted on www.rebelbasecard.com

*****************************

Podcast Listeners: Friend of the show and sketch card artist Ben Abusaada is giving our listeners 20% off sketch cards on his Etsy page - using coupon code "REBELBASECARD”

"****************************

******************************

2020 New Product Calendar:

*******************************

Out now

Topps Star Wars Return of the Jedi Black & White

Topps Living Set current offering:

Topps Star Wars Authentics Autographs

Topps Women of Star Wars

Topps The Journey of the Child

Select retail stores may still have in stock:

Skywalker Saga

Rise of Skywalker Series 1

Online Hobby Box resources

Blowout Cards

Dave & Adams Card World

Steel City Collectibles

Card Supplies

Ultra Pro

BCW Supplies

To be released:

Originally 4/22 - Now June 24 -Topps Star Wars The Rise of Skywalker Series 2

6/24/2020 Topps Star Wars Authentics Autographs 8x10

8/5/2020 Topps Chrome Perspectives Resistance vs The First Order

9/9/2020 Topps Holocron Series

November Mandalorian Season 1

December (Best guess) Masterwork 2020

Make sure you check Cardboard Connections for a full card release calendar!

Physical Set Speculation:

Kenobi?

Galactic Files?

Hi-Tek?

Chrome?

Galaxy?

Topps Now

Clone Wars?

Mandalorian Season 2

Kenobi?

Cassian Andor?

***************************

Current Podcast Playlist:

***************************

The Marvel Card Collectors Podcast

The Black Squadron Podcast

WaxPackHero podcast

The Cantina Cast/Mando Mondays

Coffee with Kenobi

Full of Sith

Star Wars Autograph News

The Star Wars Report

Around the Galaxy/Streaming Star Wars

Force Material

What the Force Podcast

Fantha Tracks Radio

Beyond the Outer Rim

Meanwhile at the Podcast

Star Wars Reactions

WSTR Galactic Public Access

Star Wars Car Talk

TROS Series 2 6/24

24 packs 8 cards/pack 2 hits one auto $77.95 Pre-order

Introducing Topps Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Series 2 Trading Cards!

Insert sets:

Red 1/99 Bronze1/50 Silver1/25 Gold 1/10 Black1/1 #Printing plate 1/1

Weapons

Heroes of the Resist

Villians of the First

The Knights of Ren

Foil Puzzel - 9

Kylo Ren Continuity 11-15

Costume Relics Silver 1/25 Gold 1/10 Black 1/1

Millenium Falcon Relic Silver 1/25 Gold 1/10 Black 1/1

Commemorative Vehicle Medallion Silver 1/25 Gold 1/10 Black 1/1

Autograph Parallels

Red 1/99, Silver 1/25, Gold 1/10, Black 1/1 Printing plate #1/1

Dual, Triple are numbered 1/1

Six Person Auto

Standard Sketch, Shaped Sketch

Courtesy Topps, Blowout, Cardboard Connection

Chrome Perspectives: Res. v First Ord 8/5

18 packs per box. 6 cards per pack. $67.95 pre-order

Holocron Series 9/9

18 packs/box, 8 cards/pack $64.95 pre-order

18 packs per box. 8 cards per pack.

Featuring characters, story, and information from the entire saga.

200 base cards & 3 different insert sets.

1 Autograph or Sketch Card per box guaranteed!

Mandalorian 11/4

7 packs 8 cards pack $63.95 preorder

100 card base set

Configuration: 7 packs per box. 8 cards per pack.

The entire story of The Mandalorian Season 1 comes to Topps trading cards for the first time, featuring new autograph signers and packaged in a collectible Mandalorian helmet tin!

One autograph or sketch card guaranteed per box.

100 base cards.

2020 Topps I am your Father's Day Set 19.99 Avail until 6/26-27 19.99

1 Darth Vader / Princess Leia

2 Darth Vader / Luke Skywalker

3 The Mandalorian / The Child

4 Han Solo / Ben Solo

5 Uncle Owen Lars / Luke Skywalker

6 Bail Organa / Leia Organa

7 Jango Fett / Boba Fett

8 Cham Syndulla / Hera Syndulla

9 Sabine Wren / Alrich Wern

10 Galen Erso / Jyn Erso

2020 Topps Star Wars Authentics Autographs 8x10 6/24

07/29/20 $99.95

1 card and 1 autographed photo per box, 12 boxes per case

Adam Driver

Alden Ehrenreich

Ben Burtt

Billy Dee Williams

Cameron Monaghan

Daisy Ridley

Domhnall Gleeson

Dominic Monaghan

Donnie Yen

Felicity Jones

Forest Whitaker

Freddie Prinze Jr.

Giancarlo Esposito

Gina Carano

Gwendoline Christie

Harrison Ford

Hayden Christensen

Ian McDiarmid

John Boyega

Kelly Marie Tran

Naomi Ackie

Nick Nolte

Omid Abtahi

Paul Reubens

Riz Ahmed

Sarah Michelle Gellar

Werner Herzog

0 notes