#nursey: lmaooooo

[icecreampotluck]

fic stats meme

twas tagged by @jeeyuns

rules: give us the links to your fic with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the least words.

SIDE NOTE: i have not published 911 fic!!!! trust me i am also mad at me for this!!!!! i am working on it!!! so instead everyone gets a look into the history on my ao3 profile that hasn't had anything updated since 2021 and my most written for fandom. (i am not going to publish anything in 911 fandom until it's fully written to avoid the unfinished fate of a lot of these works dw) but I WANT TO PARTICIPATE!!!! so here goes!!

most hits: i've tried goodbye a hundred times (not one of them true)

Check, Please! (Webcomic), Derek "Nursey" Nurse/William "Dex" Poindexter

The first time it happens, it’s daisies. Seven year old William watches in fascination as the flowers appear, line by line, around his wrist and up his arm. They’re just black outlines, with little yellow dots in the middle, but they fascinate him, and he watches as they grow all the way up to his elbow. And then Mitch slams his desk.

yeah i'll be real with you besties. this will probably never be updated again. which is so sad because apparently it's my work with the most hits. but i'm a polyfrogs bitch now!!!! people change!!!!! i don't even remember where the plot was going. this is not the target audience of this apology but you're the ones who get it.

second most kudos: Amy Parson Takes No Shit

Check, Please! (Webcomic), Kent "Parse" Parson/Original Character(s)

She hates this. She hates knowing that for all the talk of acceptance and anyone being able to play, it doesn’t matter. If she told the team, she can’t imagine what they’d think. And God, management would be a nightmare. She shouldn’t have to pick between hockey and being herself but she does and she’s made her choice. Someday, she’s gonna find a way to have her cake and eat it, too.

oh my god so. okay. the tag "im tired of cis bullshit" on this work is so funny. 1) the "cis bullshit" in question was genderbends which is the most 2017 discourse imaginable. 2) when i wrote that tag I identified as cis. LMAOOOOO. i thought i was being such a good ally writing this fic. and then somewhere along the way i was like "goddamm why do i relate so much to Amy's choosing to ruthlessly be herself and why am i jealous of it." and here we are. so this work holds a special place in my heart and i will finish it if it kills me and also probably rewrite the early chapters because they are SIX YEARS OLD oh my god i was FIFTEEN. they could be better, and they will be.

third most comments: all the gun fights, and the lime lights, and the holy sick divine nights

Check, Please! (Webcomic), Derek "Nursey" Nurse/Kent "Parse" Parson

Nursey rolls over in bed the morning after Epikegster, and finds himself face to face with Kent Parson. Kent is drooling, and still asleep, so Nursery takes a moment to assess the situation. Kent has all the covers and is kind of hogging whatever bed they’re in, which appears to be in a hotel room. Nursey is naked, and a quick inventory of the floor leads him to believe that most if not all of his clothing is there. He glances down at himself, and notices a not insignificant number of mouth sized bruises littering his torso. His therapist has been teaching him about not jumping to conclusions, but he’s starting to think he hooked up with Kent Parson.

you won't get it unless you Get It but this is the funniest possible rairpair. i'd love to finish this someday and fix the haphazard characterization. the plot was good as shit i just have to hope i get inspiration back after *checks notes* five years! we'll see!

fourth most bookmarks: i've got you (and you've got me)

Check, Please! (Webcomic), Eric "Bitty" Bittle/Jack Zimmermann

    He’s done it.     He’s graduated, and he’s got his degree, and he’s got an internship lined up, and he can’t wait to get on with the rest of his life.     And he’s got Jack. Oh, lordy, how could he forget Jack?     Jack who is currently waving at him from across the quad, waiting by the lake. Bitty has been saying his goodbyes to his parents, and now, he turns and heads over to him.     “Hey, you.”

yeah i don't have a lot to say about this one! it was okay! least words: would you love me less (if you knew the beds that i've been in)

Check, Please! (Webcomic), Eric "Bitty" Bittle/Kent "Parse" Parson/Jack Zimmermann

Eric Bittle, struggling baker, runner of a not so struggling premium snapchat, frequenter of the Seattle Fitness Center. Jack Zimmermann, history teacher, boyfriend of Kent Parson, frequenter of the Seattle Fitness Center. Kent Parson, part-time wedding planner, allosexual who's demisexual boyfriend has approved his porn habits but has no interest in partaking, frequenter of some blond twink's premium snapchat.

ZERO words baby!!!! that's what happens on the archive's backend when a fic is told ENTIRELY THROUGH FAKED SCREENSHOTS (and some gym membership cards)!!!!!! i wanna redo some of the things in here and also. you know. finish the entire fic. trust me it's GLORIOUS. if you click on nothing else in this post because you aren't into check please click on this and be proud of some of the edits. (not the reddit one i like. quarter assed that one rather than find a template) this is the fanwork of mine im most proud of i love it so much PLEASE ask me about it even if you haven't read check please i'll happily gush about the plot.

that is all sorry that this is literally NO wee woo content. tagging @evcndiaz @lucydonato @shitouttabuck @housewifebuck and anyone else who wants to do this!

[jam-heathen]

I posted 471 times in 2022

13 posts created (3%)

458 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@cricketnationrise

@adambirkholtz

@stanthefrogs

@ivecarvedawoodenheart

@lizards-online

I tagged 263 of my posts in 2022

Only 44% of my posts had no tags

#ask answered - 7 posts

#omgcp - 6 posts

#ask meme - 3 posts

#derek nursey nurse - 3 posts

#i just think he's neat - 2 posts

#randomnoteforfuturereference - 2 posts

#they deserve this - 2 posts

#b. shitty knight - 2 posts

#lmaooooo - 2 posts

#the icing/decoration is key - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 117 characters

#like similarly to how jack feels the first time he realizes shitty casually listens to all the stuff jack cares about

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Okay listen B. Shitty Knight goes into public interest law. Not sure what kind, but I imagine either with something like the ACLU or working in public defense. I know this in my heart. And I am so very serious when I say after he gets his job secured for after graduation this boy cries. Happy tears, but still. Public interest hiring is so stressful. Am I projecting? Yes, but what else is there to follow me for at this point?

19 notes - Posted October 25, 2022

#4

I just think in my heart of hearts Nursey and Farmer form a grad school alliance. No they're not in the same program, yes they hang out all the time and order food to the library together when they have big projects

23 notes - Posted February 4, 2022

#3

I just think a fic where Shitty is giving Nursey advice about wrapping up your senior year of college and handling your maybe romance status with your best bro and twin flame has potential

49 notes - Posted July 14, 2022

#2

Me 🤝 Shitty Knight

Mumbling "it may please the court but it doesn't please me" under their breath when frustrated

72 notes - Posted October 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Okay listen pre-comic thought here: Shitty knows that he and Jack are friends and he knows everyone else knows he and Jack are friends and he's confident Jack enjoys his company and the nonsense he's getting into at any given time. That all said the first time he over hears Jack mention Shitty is his best friend to someone else the boy gets so emotional about it

160 notes - Posted November 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[lobsterdex]

hello i’m the op of the dex @ chuck e. cheese post and i think you’ll be delighted to know that not only do many employees have to wear the suit, they also have to be out of it and do other slightly humiliating things! it’s not just one guy in the suit, it’s a bunch of people on a rotating system. so people absolutely know that it’s him. also, if you aren’t in the suit, you might have to do a thing called “waking up chuck e” that involves dancing on a stage to a video with a bunch of children until chuck e. cheese shows up. (all of this is information gathered from the friend who worked there so it might be a little off.)

oh my god???? oh my god fhghjffgafjkfa thank you so much for this information i'm losing my mind. like at least the humiliation is shared so there's some solidarity there? but the whole "waking up chuck e" is bonkers like its for the kids i get it but oakafkjhfalkasjf afl;ashl. dex takes the job even though he submitted his resume to the wrong online job posting because they were the first to get back to him and because he needed the money and because "how bad can it be he's used to kids" and it's bad. but he doesn't hear back from any other places so he just. keeps working there. and lies to the boys about where he works because he's like "why the fuck would my friends ever end up in chuck e cheese they're whole adults" and that is his own foolish mistake because we all know the smh would love to organize an excursion to chuck e cheese. holster books his birthday party there. he informs the groupchat of this. dex checks his phone mid shift and his soul leaves his body when he reads the message.