#obviously i am being overly dismissive and there have been interesting questions raised by many of these groups

[daydreamingintheimpalax]

Little Beginnings

Dean X Reader

Warnings: Mentions of cheating, mentions of pregnancy, possible swearing. 

A/N: Just a little something i wanted to write. Dean’s 40, Reader is 28. 

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You were fucking late, again. Dean was an amazing boss, and an even better friend, but just because he was a super sweet guy, didn’t mean he was going to keep letting you get away with being late. To be fair, you were about 6 months pregnant, and it did cause for a lot of doctors appointments, which Dean had driven you to a few times when Andy was too busy at work. 

Your fiance Andy and you had been engaged for the last year, deciding you were going to wait a while before getting married, Andy was up for a possible big promotion at his design company and he wanted to focus on his work, which you more than understood, so the couple times he’d failed to be there for some of the milestone appointments, you relied on the bus, making you late, opting Dean to offer to drive you so the other staff members would stop harrassing him about special treatment. I mean, you were pregnant, and it wasn’t your fault the appointments ran longer than usual and you’d missed the bus one too many times. 

The bell above the auto shop jingled, signaling that you were finally at work, you were out of breath, stopping slightly to hold your belly. “I’m here, i’m here, i’m so sorry, it was suppsed to be a simple scan and then she thought she saw something and wanted to do a more extensive exam, and i promise next time i’ll just have her reschedule for my day off.” You gasped, out of breath from running all the way from the bus stop, all the extra weight making it harder to move fast. 

Dean waved his hand dismissively, you could see he was sort of lost, trying to work the register, Dean wasn’t good at the front end work, he was however the best mechanic in town, so he handled the cars and you handled the cash. 

“Hey, don’t worry about it, not your fault, if the doctor said you needed it then she must have been worried,” he finally stops and looks at you concerned, “Everything okay? are you and the baby okay?” He asks and you smile widely. 

“SHE and i are just fine, she was just being squirmy.” You jump a little in place, finally having found out the sex. Dean’s eyes widen and a pure look of excitement and joy crosses his face.

“No way? It’s a girl?” He asks and you nod, squealing. Dean lets out a laugh and makes his way over, pulling you into him, not caring that he’s in his greasy work coveralls. “Congratulations, sweetheart!!” He speaks, placing a small kiss to your head. 

He smells like car oil, a little musk from all the sweating from working in the extreme heat and the lingering scent of his aftershave and bodywash. It comforts you, you take a breath, taking in the smell, the familiar smell, Dean has always welcomed you with open arms, making you feel perfectly at home in his auto shop for the last 4 years. He had made you feel loved and valued when your own parents basically banished you for being pregnant before being married. If they had their way, you would’ve been married years ago, they had their opinions and beleifs and you didn’t follow them, and because of it, they hadn’t spoken to you since you told them the news. 

“Have you told Andy yet?” He smiles, you shake your head, moving around him to show him how to open the cash. “Not yet, we’re suppsed to have dinner tonight, i was going to tell him then.” You smile, hardly containing your excitement. You open the register and Dean let’s out a small ‘yes’ before squishing your face, “What am i going to do without you while you’re gone.” He speaks and pinches your nose. You shove his hand away.

“You’ll be fine, plus if you need anything, call. No questions asked, just call.” You smile widely and he returns it. 

The rest of your shift goes smoothly, you count the register at the end of the day, Dean cleans up and changes, grease still on him but for the most part he got it off, he waits for you and like a true well raised gentleman, he drives you home, not wanting you to walk or take the bus alone at night. 

                                  ************************************

When you walk into your apartment, you don’t see Andy on the couch watching tv like he usually is, you assume maybe hes making dinner, since you are home much earlier than expected, the shop hadn’t been overly busy and Dean was so good with cars he had finished all his jobs for the day early.

You hang your coat up and walk into the kitchen, expecting to see Andy cooking, instead, your greeted with silence, with two almost empty plates on your kitchen table, but the part that makes your heart sink into your stomach is the two wine glasses, one, which has a very clear lipstick mark on it. 

A bang comes from your bedroom upstairs, the fire in you already ready to explode. You make your way upstairs, and before you realize it, your swinging your bedroom door open, a woman is sprawled on your bed, her ass in the air as your fiance drills her from behind, his one hand gripping her hair as the other rests on the headboard, she lets out a scream and he swears under his breath. Finally able to speak you clear your throat. 

“Are you fucking kidding me!” You yell and Andy freezes, the girl letting out a whine before she finally peels her head from your pillow. Your fucking god damn pillow. 

“Oh my god, who is that.” She squeals before yaking herself off the bed and away from him, holding your blanket to cover herself up. 

“I’m his fiance, his pregnant fiance. Who the fuck are you!” you scream, livid. 

Andy is up, blanket around his waist before he’s walking towards you. “Baby, this isn’t- i uh- i can explain.” He stumbles over his words, not knowing what to do or say.

You glare at him, “How long?” you ask, he shakes his head confused. “How long have you been fucking her? and don’t you dare fucking lie to me right now Andy!” You scream and he flinches, not used to your high vocals right now. 

He sighs, “Since you told me about the pregnancy.” He admits, running a hand through his hair, “Listen, i need to explain, i just, i needed a break, everything with the pregnancy has been too much to handle and im stressed with work, now the pregnany, i just, i needed to get away from it all.” He speaks and soon enough you’re in his face. 

“What are you sick of Andy? The fact you have barely been home since i told you about it? or the fact you haven’t been to one single appointment? Not the first time we got to see it, not the first time we got to hear the heartbeat, and now, you couldn’t be bothered to come find out the sex with me, it’s a girl, FYI, you havent been around for any of it. So what exactly are you sick of? you’re a worthless piece of shit, and i never want to see you again. Go fuck yourself.” You finish it off with a slap to his face, the contact is so loud, even the girl behind him flinches. 

She gives you a small smile when you make eye contact. “I’m really sorry, i didn’t know, he never mentioned you or the baby, if i had known...” she pauses, obvious guilt in her face. You shrug, “I know, do yourself a favour, find a better man to give yourself to, trust me, this one isn’t worth it.” You tell her, she swallows before grabbing her clothes and leaving the room, but not before glaring at Andy herself, “Don’t ever call me again.” She spits at him and he flinches, he tries to get close to you and you back away, skaking your head. 

“No, i’m leaving.” You spit out and he frowns, a little angry. “Where are you going? You’re pregnant and you know damn well your parents won’t take you back in.” He says it with a tone, almost like he’s proud to know that’s true, without them, you have nowhere to go. 

“I’ll figure something out, i haven’t needed you for the last 6 months, and obviously i still don’t.” You state, grabbing the prepared hospital bag you had done two months ago, for the most part it had enough stuff in it to get you by for a few days and you’d eventually come back for the rest of your stuff, preferably when Andy was away at work.

You storm out, getting into the car you had spent years saving to get, you had bought it on your own, but had decided since Andy made more money that he needed it more. As you drive away, you can hear Andy shouting, you roll down your window and catch the ending. 

“You stupid bitch, how the fuck am i supposed to get to work!” He shouts, you laugh, “Take a bus, asshole. I paid for the car!” Before you’re peeling out of what is no longer your drive way.

                                               ****************************

Dean’s surprised when he hears his phone ring, he isn’t expecting any calls, usually Sam is the only one who calls him, to be honest, he’s pretty much lonely most of the time. 

 Sammy tries to call each week, but he’s usually busy with work or the kids so usually Dean’s alone. Some days he wishes he had done what Sam did, settle down with a nice girl, have some babies, but most of the women he had dated just wanted the idea of a hardworking attractive man by their side, when it came down to it, they backed off when they realized he’d wanted more. it worked out for the best, none of the women in his life had ever truly been longterm material, sometimes he regretted having too much fun and not enough substance, airheads only stayed interesting for so long. 

It’s 8:30 pm and he had just finished making one of his best pasta dishes if he does say so himself. He was about to dig in and turn on some criminal minds when his phone had gone off, he stares at it, not recognizing the number. 

“Hello?” He speaks and a feminine voice is heard, “Hi, may i please speak to Mr. Dean Winchester?” She asks and he clears his throat, “Uh, speaking, who is this?” he raises a brow and his heart sinks slightly when he hears her speak. 

“Hi Mr. Winchester, my name is Sadie and i am calling on behalf of Miss Y/N Y/L/N, i’m a nurse at memorial hospital and Y/N was in a small car accident earlier and she had you listed as her second  emergency contact, she refused to allow me to call her first contact.” She speaks, Dean’s barely listened, he interupts her, completely worried why he’s being called.

“What? Where is Y/n, is she okay? is the baby okay? what happened?” He talks a mile a minute before the nurse calms him down. 

“She and the baby are fine, she is however a little shaken up, can we ask that you come down here, maybe take her home, she refuses anymore help insisting she’s fine and she wont let us call her fiance.” The nurse sighs and Dean agrees. 

He reaches the hospital in 15 minutes, rushing through the place to find y/n. Eventually he finds the nurse that called and he’s led straight to the room you’re in, you’re sitting in the bed, hands on your belly, moving them around and smiling when you feel your baby move. He let’s out a relieved sigh to see you’re okay, and thankfully, still pregnant. 

“Y/N?” He speaks and your head shoots up, you let out a soft smile, he can tell you’ve been crying. “Hey Dee, glad to see you own something other than flannel and ripped jeans.” You smirk, he looks down at his sweat pants and hoddie, smiling to himself before letting out a small chuckle. 

“Theyre my comfy clothes, shut up.” He teases and you giggle. He moves closer, sitting on your bed near you. “You wanna tell me what the hell happened, sweetheart?” He asks and you look down, focused on your hands on your belly, biting the inside of your cheek. 

“After you drove me home, i walked in on Andy fucking some girl in doggy on our bed, i was furious and yelled at him before slapping him and leaving, i grabbed my to go bag and didn’t even care if it wasn’t enough and left, i took my car and just drove off, i didn’t really know where to go and i started crying because Andy was right about my parents probably not wanting me back, so i cried harder and i guess i couldn’t see clearly and went off road. It wasn’t bad, but i sorta put some dents and bumps in it, a jogger found me and insisted i go to a hospital and called the abulance.” You shrugged. 

Dean scoffed, “Are you fucking serious, the nerve of that jackass, i swear if i ever see him i’m gonn-” You cut him off. “Dee, it’s not worth it, i’m mostly just mad at myself for not seeing it, the missed appointments, the constant late nights, he didn’t want this, the marriage, the pregnancy, he wasn’t ready, i should’ve figured it out, i should’ve seen it.” You shrug softly, wiping a tear from your eye.

Dean sighs, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “Hey, listen to me, this isn’t your fault, you didn’t force him to have sex with you, and you sure as hell didn’t get pregnant on purpose, if he didn’t want a kid, he should’ve kept his shit wrapped. He’s the asshole in this situation, not you. As for where to go, you should’ve called me, you know i always have your back. You’re staying with me,” you’re about to interupt him but he shuts you up with a hand, “No, no talking, and i’m not leaving you alone, you’re moving in with me and that’s final.” You huff and pout, making him roll his eyes. 

“Don’t try to cute your way outta this, and don’t be stubborn, i got plenty of space not being used, i could use the company.” You huff, “Fine, but at least let me pitch in for rent..” He cuts you off, “No. I’m not charging you, save your money for the baby stuff your gonna need, just help me keep my fridge stocked and we’ll call it even, i’m a bad grocery shopper.” He smiles, you roll your eyes but agree. 

                                        *****************************

“Hey dee?” You speak as he drives you back to his place, “Yeah?” he hums as he fiddles with the radio before landing on a station. You look over at him and smile. 

“Why can’t all the guys in the world be more like you?” You smile softly and he chuckles, “That wouldn’t make me one of a kind now would it darlin,” he shoots you a wink and you laugh, shaking your head. 

“No seriously though, thank you, for everything, the job, the constant rides, always making sure im eating, getting my vitamins and water intake, always keeping your mini fridge in your office stocked with snacks, you’re literally amazing, and i don’t think i could’ve handled this whole siatuation well if it wasn’t for you. At this point, you’ve done more for me and this little girl than her father has, i need you to know how much i appreciate you.” You reach over, grabbing his hand and he looks over and smiles.

“I know y/n, don’t you worry about it. Besides, one of you already has me wrapped around her finger, what’s one more? Hmm?” He smirks, laughing at your shocked face. You shake your head at him, smiling as parks the car in his driveway. You both get out of the car, but before Dean can walk to his door, you pull him back towards you.

He’s surprised at first then melts into the kiss, wrapping his arms around your slightly big middle, he chuckles and pulls away when he feels movement in your belly. You laugh softly, “I think she likes you, she’s all excited.” You smile, letting him place his hand on your belly, feeling all the movement going on. 

He smiles gently, “yeah well, i like her too, i really REALLY like her mom though.” He states, leaning in to kiss you yet again. 

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Tags: @akshi8278

[wolfpawn]

I Hate You, I Love You, Chapter 85

Chapter Summary -  Danielle and Tom wake up after finally being able to sleep properly again, but the day is anything but easy.

Previous Chapter

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long.  This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​ @jessibelle-nerdy-mum​ @nonsensicalobsessions​ @damalseer​ @hiddlesbitch1​ @winterisakiller​ @fairlightswiftly​ @salempoe​​ @wolfsmom1​​

If you wish to be tagged, please let me know.

Tom woke after sleeping soundly for the first time in over a week. Danielle was curled up against him, her fingers gripping his t-shirt as she seemed adamant to keep him next to her.

They had enjoyed their meal in the pub, it was as delicious as she had said it would be, their conversation, since they had discussed the serious matters in the car, was light-hearted and pleasant; Tom telling her about Milan and some of the clothes he had seen and Danielle telling him of what occurred in Ireland during her time there.

He shifted slightly and Danielle groaned, her head getting tucked in more next to his shoulder. "That is not an overly comfortable place to be." He smiled.

"I beg to differ, it's a great place to be."

"How long are you awake?" Tom questioned, noticing her sleep was neither slurred nor half incoherent as it tended to be immediately after she woke.

"A few minutes."

"You said nothing."

"I didn't want to, I just wanted to relax like this."

"I can relate." Tom looked around the room, it was dated, but in an antique manner. "So this is your grandparents' house?"

"Yep, my dad was born in this room."

"Really?"

"Mmhmm, my aunts and uncle too."

"Wow, what about the hospital?"

"Tom, the nearest hospital is over an hour away in Galway, my grandparents didn't have a car, my dad would have been starting school by the time she'd have walked there." Tom chuckled next to her. "It was the done thing, you had them at home with a neighbour helping."

"You said your grandparents were farmers?"

"Yeah, the farm sheds are mostly gone, but there are a few outhouses left. The fields were sold by Nan so she'd be able to keep the house after granddad died, hence why this little acre is going to be worth a pittance." She stretched. "I better get ready for the auctioneers actually." she made to move but Tom stopped her, his cerulean blue eyes filled with lust. "Tom, we can't," she warned; her voice a whisper. The night before they had been tired on their return from the airport and their stop for dinner meant they were late getting back, so they stripped to their underwear and had fallen asleep quickly.

"I know," He acknowledged, Danielle had warned him that the walls were thin at best and her cousin was in the next room and she knew her aunt would be there soon. It was one thing to be in a bed together, something she knew Bernadette would be angered by anyway, but if they were heard doing anything, that would only cause issues. "But you know what we have not done in a week?" Danielle's brows furrowed. "I have not kissed you." he leant over her, looking for permission to kiss her silently.

"If we do, will you control yourself?" She asked quietly.

"I have little choice." leaning up, she pressed her lips to his, a sensual moan escaping her as she did so. "Okay, enough; I can't, not if you are making noises like that, if you are going kiss me like that, I will…" Tom pulled back.

"Yes, I can feel that." She grinned, implying she could feel a very hard and eager appendage on her thigh.

"You can hardly blame me, I have you back." He smiled, looking down at her before his face went solemn. "I am so sorry about…"

"It's done." Tom's brow furrowed. "Though next time we have an argument, don't try and use sex as a Band-Aid."

"I wasn't trying to, I just wanted to show you how much I love you." He explained. "I hope there isn't a 'next time'."

"We will argue Tom," She scoffed, he toyed with his hair, "We just need to deal with it better."

"I like how you say 'we'." He smiled. "So many people, myself included, can be unable to look at their actions."

"No one is perfect Tom."

"I come fairly close though, right?" He joked.

"Maybe to some of your crazier fans, but I know you better." Danielle kissed him again. "I better get up for the auctioneer."

"This room is cosy," Tom commented, watching as Danielle got some clothes out of her suitcase.

"This whole house is really, wait until you see everything. We came in in darkness, you have not seen it properly yet." she grinned.

Curiosity got the better of him and Tom got out of bed too. "I know this might seem vain, but your cousin…"

"Yes, she was staring at your ass yesterday," Danielle laughed.

"You aren't…"

Danielle tied the button of her jeans and zipped them up before coming over and cupping one of Tom's ass cheeks. "Well, it just happens I am with the man that won 'rear of the year', I have to accept that that can mean girls are going to be staring at your ass from time to time. I am also aware that a considerable amount of people are somewhat interested in the this," She snaked her hand to his crotch, "And you, in general."

"Out of curiosity, is it a dislike of doing anything in your grandmother's house in general or when others are here."

"The former," Tom swore. "You sound like someone who is going to suffer 'blue balls'," she scoffed.

"I may just, I have my sexy girlfriend and a desperate want to show her in a very thorough manner, just how much I care for her in every way." He said in a sexy voice.

Danielle was about to say something else when raised voice caught their attention. "The hell?" Tom finished putting on his pants and she opened the door, as soon as she listened to the no longer muffled voices, she groaned. "Bernadette is back."

"Your aunt?" Danielle nodded. "Was she supposed to be gone?"

"Herself and her husband Kevin were supposed to come back this morning after dropping Laura and Richard to Galway," Danielle told him. "Jesus, this is going to be fifty shades of bullshit now, she is going to be an absolute bitch." More arguing began, causing Danielle to listen to the words being spoken. "Oh?"

"Elle?"

"You know what, I think we better go down." Tom looked at her in confusion, "Laura needs saving."

"I thought you didn't really like her."

"I don’t have anything in common with her and we are not close, but I don't dislike her and right now, she needs someone to take some attention off her," Danielle explained. Unsure why Danielle was being so kind as to allow herself be a scapegoat, Tom tied his shoes and walked out the door behind her, on hearing what an older woman was effectively shouting at her daughter, he immediately agreed with Danielle's choice to go downstairs.

"And where is he in all of this, or is there even a he?" Bernadette demanded of her oldest daughter.

"There probably is a he, otherwise we've got the second coming happening in Galway, fuck Mayo and their beloved sighting of our Lady in Knock." Danielle scoffed walking into the sitting room. "And could you keep it down, there are people on Croagh Patrick that can probably hear you."

"You keep out of this," Bernadette warned.

"I would believe me, only as someone with a background in a medical field, I know the damage to the health of a pregnant woman that stress can cause, but you are being so loud it is involving me and you are making a holy show of yourself, which is utterly embarrassing for me."

"What embarrassment to you, this is nothing to do with you?" Bernadette dismissed. A moment later, Tom entered the room, doing his best to seem unphased by the horrible atmosphere and demeanour. "Who is he? Some hitchhiker you found on the side of the road last night I suppose."

"Yeah, I thought it wise to bring a random stranger home with me," Danielle stated sarcastically. "This is my boyfriend, his name is Tom and I can say here and now that though his family has never been anything but lovely to me, you have, in thirty seconds, embarrassed yourself in front of him, from your manner or lack thereof to your daughter, me and indeed him, so cheers for that anyway Bernie, and if you have nothing better to say or do, I would ask that you talk and not yell as we are all in the one house, which, though you seem to think is the size of Kilkenny Castle is actually a small farm cottage, so you know, we can hear you." Danielle walked into the kitchen, not saying any more to her family as her aunt stared at her in anger, her uncle looked at Tom as if wondering how he had not noticed the other man in the time they had been at the cottage, while Laura, who had been upset, stared at him as she tried to recognise how she knew him.

Tom, who felt incredibly awkward, gave a small nod of his head and walked into the kitchen after her. "She's as lovely as you described," Danielle said nothing. "Elle?"

"I'm sorry," She gave him a smile that was more of a grimace. "I literally look like I come from absolute mud."

Tom put his arms around her, "No, you warned me about your aunt and I met Siobhan and spoke to Richard who are both normal, well, Siobhan is a tad mental, but she is a nice person, so I know that you come from a normal family, but every family has that one person, they are not always a snob, but there is something about them that makes them less than pleasant," he kissed her head. "Though she's a special case on many levels."

"You have no idea." Danielle groaned.

"This house is gorgeous." Tom looked around. "Exactly everything I imagined a small farming homestead to be."

"Look out the window." Danielle pulled the curtain back. The design of the house meant Tom had to stoop down, the way he inhaled confirmed Danielle's idea of how he would take it. "That's why I love it here."

"Now I understand why you moved to Suffolk."

"It is a lot like here."

"Did you live nearby?"

"Not too far, a few kilometres away, a bit closer the water."

"Will you bring me there?"

"If you want, today is fairly full-on, but we will have to get a few bits, so we can pass it on the way to the shops." Danielle smiled before sensing someone in the doorway, looking around, she saw Laura. "You okay?"

"Thank you."

"Where's your Mam?"

"Gone to the car to call Uncle Richard that you have some 'dirty Brit' staying in Nan's room with you."

"Well then, at least you're not the only slut for the laundry." Danielle winked.

"Were those things actually real?" Tom asked, horrified.

"Yes, they were," Danielle informed him, causing Tom to shiver. "Tom, this is Siobhan's sister Laura, Laura, this is my boyfriend, Tom." Danielle introduced them to one another. Laura waved from the doorway. "How far along…?"

"Ten weeks, I thought I wasn't suffering too badly so I could come, but she went snooping my bag and found my folic acid and my appointment card," Laura explained.

"Bitch," Danielle growled. "What's your plan now?"

"I rang Julia, she's coming to collect me, Evan is going to meet me in Galway."

"Good, look after yourself, forget your Mam, you've someone else more important that needs you." Danielle smiled.

"Are you okay, mum is going for you in this thing."

Danielle winked at her, "I can handle Bernie, I have my dad's stubbornness and my mam's bitchiness."

"She always hated your mum."

"The feeling, I can assure you, was mutual."

Laura gave another small wave. "I am going to flee while she is on the phone having a conniption." She turned to see someone behind her. "Hey."

"Ready, I have the kids in the car?"

"Yeah, thanks, Julie."

"No problem, who is…?"

"Danielle and her boyfriend."

"Danielle has a...?" As another one of Danielle's cousin's poked her head in the door, her face turned to one of shock. "TOM HIDDLESTON!"

"Who?" Laura looked at Tom again.

"You…but…Danielle…Him…"

"Yes, he is Tom Hiddleston," Danielle confirmed.

"You are going out with Tom Hiddleston, you, Danielle, my cousin?"

"Yes." Danielle nodded.

"How?"

"I lived next door to his mother, we know each other a few years."

"You never said anything," Julia stated indignantly.

"In all fairness, who'd have believed me?" Danielle laughed. Julia continued to stare. "You're married with kids." Danielle reminded her. That did not stop Julia from staring. "Go, before your Mam is off the phone." Danielle encouraged.

"Wait, so he is famous, my mind isn't messing with me?" Laura asked.

Danielle sighed. "You literally asked Siobhan two days ago if she would see the new Kong movie with you."

"Wait, he's THAT actor…how did you…?"

Danielle shook her head. "As you can see," She turned slightly, Tom still had his hand on her waist, "my extended family thinks so much of me."

"But you're normal," Laura said, as though it was some type of defence.

"Well, I feel special." Danielle scoffed. "Thank you both, you are so good for the old confidence."

"But, he was with Taylor Swift…"

"Yes, was, now I have upgraded, substantially." Tom smiled politely, bringing Danielle closer to him.

"You have all the luck," Julia growled.

"Yes, I do." Danielle grinned. "Now, we are coming again soon so if you want a proper conversation, we'll meet then, as for now, you need to leave."

She's right, come on." Julia insisted, ushering Laura to the door. "You alright to handle Bernie?"

"I'm Mattie Hughes's daughter."

"Uncle Mattie always kept her in her box."

"Now it's my turn." Julia went outside, a cold comment to Bernadette as she did.

"She'll be in in a second," Danielle sighed.

Tom kissed her head, "You're able for her." Danielle gave a non-committal noise, "Will they say anything?"

"Does it really matter?" She heard Bernadette coming in. "Here we go." She inhaled deeply.

"In my mother's room." She began in disgust.

"Well, you want to sell the house so if me having my boyfriend in her room is a desecration to her, your going against her command to not sell this house will have her turning in her grave."

"Your father would be sickened."

Danielle felt her pulse race, "Yes he would, that his sister would think she can decide for the whole family what is to happen because she wants more money, a woman that doesn't know a days work getting up her own arse and for what, to keep up with people that wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire." She spat. "My dad would only care that I am happy and three seconds in Tom's company and I know he and Mam would be delighted. You hated dad, though that means nothing, you hate everyone, and now your daughter is having a baby that will have to realise that you are a twisted bitch too, so just go and get a loan like the rest of us and leave nan's alone."

"I will do no such thing you little tramp," Bernadette hissed, "And it's going to happen, so you better get out of the way."

"I can't actually, I have a realtor on his way." Bernadette's eyes bulged. "Oh, didn't Uncle Richard tell you? I am getting the house looked at, so it can get a proper assessment. I know you had your friend's son give a price, which I know it is fifty thousand over market value for anything in the area, so I am having a guy from McCarthy's in Galway take a look at it to make sure anything that any assessment given is a proper one." Bernadette looked at her in disgust. "So, you can stay or go, but I am staying, and I am getting it priced honestly. Then we will get back to you about it."

Bernadette looked to Tom, "What are you even bothering with her for?"

"Well personally, I find Elle to be a beautiful, intelligent and wonderful person to be around, my family adore her and in truth, I find her strength and independence to be exceptionally alluring."

"Too many big words for her there," Danielle warned. "Tea?"

"Please, darling." He smiled back. "Is there any porridge?" the pair began readying their breakfast as Bernadette became more enraged at their lack of attention to her and stormed off. "Luke will have heart failure with you yet."

"I know, I am worried for him."

"Are you serious you want too…?"

"Yes," She confirmed. Tom smiled at her lovingly. "You're all clear." At that, he frowned.

A moment later, Siobhan snuck out of the back room that held the washing machine. "Phew, so what are we having for breakfast?" She asked walking over, before turning to Tom "Ooh, is Chris single?"

"He's married, remember." Danielle reminded her.

"This is Marvel, there are about thirty guys called Chris." She retorted.

[c-bassmeow]

Queer theorist/postmodernist/post colonial theorist/post structuralist thesis: here in this paper we queer the boundaries of the ocean whose miscegenation has fallen into various narratives surrounding the preemptive discursive cultural diaspora of the whales who are not an actual species but simply a social construction. Darwin said we all come from a common ancestor and so what logically follows is that by using the Queer-Redefining model of Professor Zigzag-Physics-Envy we can conclude that species are simply a Eurocentric and arbitrary categorization that limit the possibilities of what we consider to be independent entities of the bio-social-historical concept of the self. The whale self is then subject to unnecessary objective scrutiny and criticism when it should remain a nebulous concept that coincides with the post-structuralist concept of the sub-textual rendering of forms to be created. With this conclusion we contend that the subaltern hybridity of the diasporic fragments of the whale  must be protected because Focault and Derrida established this in order to convey the defenestration of evil materialist and rationalist assumptions of analytical and skeptical analysis pushed by the murderous materialists who depend on enlightenment epistemology over French drivel that eliminates the concomitant forms of domination. The whale is then freed and queer. A radical lesbian homosexual that abides by their own social constructions the whale cannot be conscripted into categorical imperatives but flows freely in a queer ocean whose atoms are rendered queer by their own buoyancy.

[heartslogos]

newfragile yellows [76]

He has no idea how she makes navigating this castle so easy, so simple, so natural. Bull gets turned around six out of ten times - and he likes to think that he has pretty okay spacial awareness and physical memory. But corridors and doors and windows that he uses and landmarks, familiar in their lighting and view and position, are unreliable. A door that takes him to the kitchen one day disappears the next. A window that overlooks a small section of the garden closest to Skyhold’s western wall changes to stare out over the valley hours later.

His room, which is normally cool and a little damp - expected of an old castle that hasn’t been maintained exactly perfectly, and Bull does not blame the occupants because he pictures castle upkeep must be ball-busting work, seriously, it’s astounding how well the castle is despite there only being two occupants, one of whom is mostly bed-ridden and the other is busy taking care of the bed-ridden one for at least sixteen hours a day - with one narrow window can become sweltering with vines covering the small slat in the dead of night.

This castle is changing, it is resisting, it is playing. It sounds insane, it makes him sound insane, but Bull knows himself. This is not how his sanity leaves him. This is entirely too whimsical for his own mind.

These are not things he imagines.

The door, against his palm, resists - pushes back - for a moment and through the flesh of his palm it feels almost like the heavy wood shivers.

He has to put a lot of weight into slowly pushing the door open.

When Lavellan does this, all she has to do is touch it with the tip of her finger - no, Bull thinks, recognizing truth for what it is. Lavellan does not even have to touch doors in his place. They open at her approach, slowly and silently, as if pushed by a wave or a wind.

“And here he is now,” Lavellan’s voice says from inside the room, “Late, I know, but don’t be cross. You know how it is. Time. So fickle, no?”

He hears a low, soft, but firm voice respond. Too low for him to hear.

When Bull manages to get himself in through the opening he made in the door, he looks up and sees Lavellan sitting on a chair next to a large four-poster bed.

The man in the bed is pale, sharp-faced, and incredibly alert looking for someone who seems to have it as bad as Lavellan described.

It is his first time meeting the home owner, and he isn’t quite sure what he expected. There is an odd sense of curiosity in his mind that takes in the image in front of him.

Lavellan is gently massaging one of the man’s hands in her own, looking incredibly cheerful - something that would probably be charming anywhere that isn’t Skyhold, but only comes off as unsettling in the context of this living stone.

The man’s eyes slide over him, not pausing at anything most others do when they meet him for the first time. He then turns his gaze to Lavellan, dismissive, and says - “This is the one you are fond of. Again and again, you prove yourself tasteless. I see nothing to hold your interest. You waste my time and energy. Even the narrow-minded one from earlier was more.”

Before Lavellan can speak, Bull answers back -

“If you’re going to insult me, pick a deader language than old-form Dwarven,” Bull answers. Accented, he knows, but languages are something he’s always been quick at. “Also I don’t appreciate being told I’m less interesting than Pavus.”

Lavellan’s delight blooms further, and the man - Solas’ - eyebrow raises.

“You know Ancient Dwarven,” It is not a question. He switches, “And this? What of this language, do you know?”

“I know Nevarran, yes,” Bull answers in kind.

Lavellan laughs, lightly smacking Solas’ wrist with two fingers, she speaks in Trade, “Excellent. Since you know it you can talk to him in it. He insists on me learning all these languages to amuse him with and keep him sharp. He doesn’t seem to quite understand that I am busy and I am not actually his little pet to keep him entertained.” Lavellan brazenly reaches over and pokes the man’s thin cheek.

He scowls at her. She laughs again.

“I am not quite sure why you’re here, either,” He says, a soft touch of fondness at the back of his consonants, turning his hand upwards. Lavellan places two fingers in his palm and he closes his hand over them, turning back towards the Iron Bull. New calculations, new assessment, new tests. “And you, I do not know why you are here. Aside from this child’s meddling. Sit. We will talk, for a time. Let us see what the Inquisition sends on their behalf.”

-

“On time in your own way, I suppose,” The woman is sitting on a white plastic sun-chair just outside the castle walls. The bright, clean, synthetic white of it is a stark contrast to the verdant explosion around them and the slow crawl and slither of it over old stone walls. She’s wearing shorts and a t-shirt that’s obviously pink only because of a bad-laundry day. She’s also wearing overly large sunglasses and there’s a floppy straw hat on the ground next to her. “I was worried you wouldn’t show up and then he’d be unbearably smug at me for weeks.”

“Who?” Bull asks.

“Solas,” She replies, getting to her feet and folding her chair, tucking it under her arm. She gestures for them to follow using her straw hat and goes towards the large, open portcullis.

Bull has half an image of the thing falling down on him, or behind him.

The portcullis doesn’t move as he and Dalish walk through. Just the two of them. Krem and the others are waiting to report back to Trevelyan and the others from their trucks down the road.

“You’re wearing a recording device,” The woman says, tossing the folded chair onto some bushes. Dalish’s nails dig into his arm as they pass and he turns to see the chair sinking into the shrubbery. “Clever, but it won’t work.”

She waves a finger in the air, “We have the worst signal here. I almost fell off a tower once, trying to get my emails to load. Come along, through here. You’re late.”

“You said we were on time,” Dalish reminds her.

“Oh, yes, I know. In your own way, you’re on time,” The woman nods her head, “But on his time, you’re late. So I can’t show you to him, but he did draft a list of questions for me to ask you. Just in through here, there’s a sitting room - I cleaned it yesterday, mind you, so forgive me if it’s a little dirty.”

The words this woman says do not make sense the way she says them. Bull feels a sharp throb at his temple, a headache not yet formed.

He’s suddenly very glad he brought Dalish instead of Skinner. And he’s even more relieved that it was his crew assigned to this instead of Sera’s, or Dorian’s.

(“You get old castle in a mountain next to a small village,” Dorian grouses, “And I get ancient fortress in the middle of a desert wasteland. What the hell did I do to piss Evelyn off this time?”

“At least you aren’t Sera,” Bull points out, “Trashed Keep in the middle of a frozen wasteland.”)

The sitting room doesn’t look dirty, though it does look old. Tassels and brocade and velvet. Slightly tarnished mirrors with gilt edges. Sconces.

Lavellan drops, bouncing a little on an armchair and Bull and Dalish take a sofa. He feels something sink. In his gut. Physically. This entire place is just creepy.

“Well, of course, he wanted me to ask the obvious question of why you’re here,” She says.

“The Inquisition has received word that certain key areas will be targeted for hostile attacks,” Dalish says, “Adamant Fortress - “

“Oho?” The woman’s eyebrows raise, “The lost wasteland?”

“Suledin Keep - “

The woman’s mouth splits into a grin.

“This castle, among others,” Dalish answers. “The Inquisition dispatched teams to each location to investigate and warn whoever was occupying the area, or to otherwise hold and defend the area until the threat has either passed or been dealt with.”

The woman tilts her head, and looks at the Iron Bull.

“The Inquisition sends you to protect these lost and unknown places from found and unknown threats? How utterly charming.” Her eyes narrow. “And what of these threats? To what purpose do they serve? Why are these places targets?”

“We don’t know,” Bull answers, “We’re working on that.”

The woman humds, eyes flickering - no. The light in the room flickers. Bull turns and sees the silhouettes of many flying things rushing past the windows. But no sounds. He hears no sounds of wind and wings, of birds or otherwise. He just sees shadows.

“I am Lavellan,” The woman says, “I will relay this information to Solas. I will escort you off of Skyhold’s grounds. Do not come back until I have called again.”

[wolfpawn]

I Hate You, I Love You, Chapter 61

Chapter Summary - Tom and Danielle have to say their goodbyes so to return to London, leading to Diana giving them both advice. On their return to the city, they meet with Luke, who is forced to ask Danielle some private questions so to be able to handle the inevitable media frenzy when it all comes out.

Previous Chapter

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long.  This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​ @jessibelle-nerdy-mum​ @nonsensicalobsessions​ @damalseer​ @hiddlesbitch1​ @winterisakiller​ @fairlightswiftly​ @salempoe​ @lys-syl @youcantcatchafallingstar

If you wish to be tagged, please let me know.

“Elle?” Tom looked around upstairs, but there was no sign of his girlfriend, frowning, he decided to stick his head in her study door as he passed. “I was calling you.”

“Sorry, I thought I answered, I am just getting these three books.” She indicated to the two books in her hand before getting ready to climb up for another one.

“Which one?” Tom asked, seeing the highest book was still not a stretch for him.

“Third from the end.” she begrudgingly commented. When he got the right book, she smiled. “Thank you.”

“It’s handy having a tall boyfriend.”He grinned.

“It has its perks.”

“Ready?”

“Yeah, that’s everything. It’s weird, but probably better we are going back a day early.”

“How so?”

“Well I was fretting about it all, about leaving everything, but now I don’t actually feel as bad. I am terrified I forgot something, but phone, purse, laptop, books and clothes, I think that’s everything, I can get anything else I have forgotten in London, I mean, if I can’t get it there, I’ll never be able to get it, right?” She smiled.

“You forgot Mac.”

“Mac won’t let Mac be forgotten and you know it.” She scoffed.

“I have all his stuff in the car and ours. All that is needed now is those books and we are ready to go.I’m sorry I have us rushing back.”

“Why? We are sorting ourselves so that we can be ready for when this is public, it has to be done, let’s go say goodbye and hit the road.”

“Let’s go so.” Tom put his arm around her waist as the pair walked into his mother’s.

Diana hugged them both tightly in turn, “Call when you get back to London, you know the routine by now.” She insisted to Tom.

“Of course mum.” He went and gave her a second hug.

“And look after her.” She ordered, pointing to Danielle then to Tom again.

“She’s a big girl mum, she doesn’t need people looking after her,” Tom argued.

“Of course not, but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t.”

“I swear I will make sure to look after her,” Tom stated as though taking an oath.

“And you make sure to keep him in line,” Diana ordered Danielle.

“Unbelievable,” Tom threw his hands up and walked out of the room muttering about being unfair.

“I will, he’s not too bad, just needs an occasional clip across the ear.” Danielle grinned. “He was well brought up.”

“Well, I was lucky, his version of lashing out after everything with myself and James was to go into drama and try smoking for all of twenty minutes,” Diana confessed. “So many go different routes.”

“You raised a gentleman and you know it.” Danielle smiled. “I feel bad leaving you here.”

“Don’t darling, you are doing what I want you to do, achieving your ambitions, that’s so important, I am still here, you don’t need my boy to be with you to come visit, you know that.”

“I know.” Danielle hugged her again. “Thank you for everything.”

Diana hugged her for a second before pulling her back and cupping her face, “Now you listen to me Danielle Constance Hughes,” Danielle grimaced at being called by her full name, “I know you are used to being on your own, and I know that you don’t ever really need someone, but that does not mean that when you are with someone you withhold from them. The day you were in hospital, Tom almost had kittens, he was frantic, and my silly youngest’s ridiculous demands should not have mattered. You are not opening enough to him, I know you don’t think you should, but you have to, you cannot expect someone to give you their all if you are not going to give yours.”

Danielle nodded. “I know, I just...I get scared.”

“You’d be stupid if you didn’t child, you are allowing someone in to know you in the most intimate ways, and you are scared of getting hurt, of your feeling being used against you, that is normal, but you can only ever be the happiest when you give it your fullest.”

“You see, reasons like this is why your son is one of the most gifted actors I have ever witnessed.” Danielle smiled. “I know I need to open more, hopefully, this will help me too.”

“And if he ever treats you as anything less than the wonderful woman you are, I will personally castrate him.” His mother promised.

“Jesus Christ.” The women turned to see Tom standing in the doorway having only heard his mother’s promise, his face one of shock. “Mum.”

“Don’t you ‘mum’ me Thomas, I mean it. Never treat a woman short of anything you would expect me or your sisters to be treated.”

“You’re my mum, you’re supposed to be on my side.”

“There aren’t any sides.” Danielle corrected. “She is just being protective of me, same as she has been since the start, the only difference is this is different since you are involved too.”

“Well, still.”

“I am going to say goodbye to everyone else.” Danielle smiled walking out of the room and to the kitchen.

“Have you everything?” Diana asked.

“Yes, mum.” Tom nodded. “I’m sorry to leave like this, but Luke is only in London this evening so we want to get everything sorted.”

“Don’t apologise, love, it is a good idea and the best way to get it all sorted. Just look after one another, alright?”

“I really plan to.”

“Good, she has done something to you, Tom, you had gotten so, I suppose I can’t think of the right word, but you have a new vitality to you, the glint in your eyes is back.” She smiled fondly.

“I know what you mean, I don’t feel like every new project is all that matters now, I want them, I am looking forward to them, but I like the idea of when I will be home now too. I always tried to avoid being home overly long,” He tried to articulate. “I’m just scared that she will think I am not home enough. Do you know she’s scared I will leave her for someone I work with, or worse, cheat on her with one of them.”

“Can you blame her?” Tom looked at his mother, his hurt apparent. “Darling, all we ever see is celebrities cheating on one another, leaving one another, sure look at Taylor, not five minutes out of that music whatever he is, boy’s bed and she has her talons in you, of course, she might think that. Even Sarah and Emma get worried about that from time to time, as no doubt do Jack and Yakov. You have just admitted that you worry you won’t be home enough for her, but that is where trust comes into it. Danielle trusts you, she would not be so open with you if she was not. I know to you she does not open enough, but for her, that is a huge step and she is taking it with you. Remember that Tom, she does not allow herself be vulnerable, we spoke of this before. After her parents, she is too scared to care for people, she rather be alone than hurt, but she is risking it with you, that risk shows her trust.” Diana explained.

“You are too perceptive mum.” Tom chuckled.

“I’m a mother, I want what is best for my children.”

“Do you think we are doing alright?”

Diana laughed, “You’d know if I didn’t, do you recall last summer?”

“You were bitterly cold to me.”

“Yes, I was, with good reason. Now get Danielle and get on the road before you are late.”

“Yes, mum.” Tom walked out of the room to see his older sister and niece with Mac in the hallway, the young child telling Mac that she would see him soon for her holidays, the dog wagging his tail happily as she hugged him. “Where’s Elle?”

“Kitchen.” Sarah pointed behind her.

Knowing Emma was inside, he walked in, not sure of what to expect. To his relief, however, the two women were hugging goodbye. “Elle, we need to leave soon.”

“Yeah yeah, he’s done so all of a sudden, I’m the late one. You are never on time for anything. I bet Luke only told you five so you’d get there for half six.” She joked as Emma laughed.

“I am never over an hour late,” Tom growled.

“So, New Year’s day, lunch?” Emma beamed, looking at Danielle.

“Lunch,” Danielle confirmed.

“Good,” Emma hugged her again. “I’m sorry Elle.”

“Don’t, it’s done,” Danielle dismissed.

“You like that phrase, don’t you?” Jack smiled as he too gave her a hug.

“My dad used to say it. It’s true, though, you can’t change what happened, we can only keep going.” Danielle shrugged. “Now, where is Mac, I’m getting emotional.”

“Right, heaven forbid you come across as human.” Tom sniped playfully.

“Diana, I might kill your son,” Danielle warned.

“Leave my little boy alone.” Diana laughed.

“See, she’s still your mammy.” Danielle joked to Tom, who seemed happy with his mother’s defending him. “Now, let’s go.”

With his hand on Danielle’s lower back, the pair made their way to the door and to Tom’s car in the other driveway, with Tom taking a moment to make sure there was no one was watching them with a camera, thankfully, after an initial interest with Taylor, there did not seem to be the same interest in Tom’s mother’s home since.

Mac eyed the back seat curiously, somewhat irked that for once, he had to share it with other things, but as they mostly smelled of his bed and Danielle, he was not as annoyed as he could have been. “Ready?” Tom asked as they got into the car.

“This feels odd.” Danielle looked at the house that had very quickly become her home. Good odd, but still odd.”

“You still own it, you can come back all the time.”

“Next week?” She asked with a raised brow.

“Tomorrow, after you collect your car from the garage if that is what you want, but I hope not.”

Danielle looked over at Tom as he safely reversed out of the driveway, “Thank you, Tom.”

“What for, darling?”

“Understanding that I’m not always as open as I should be, that I can be pig-headed sometimes.”

“You’re not alone there.” Tom chuckled. Waving to his mother and sisters, he turned and smiled to Danielle. “Ready?”

“Yeah.” She nodded back. Mac gave a grumble in the back causing Danielle to look around at him, “Ready big man?” He gave a small bark in return. “Guess we’re ready.”

*

“That’s a dog.” Luke stared at Mac as he sat between Danielle and Tom.

“Really, we hadn’t noticed. Elle, Mac is a dog.” Tom joked dramatically earning a very bemused glare from Luke as Danielle did everything in her power not to laugh at him.

“We got caught in traffic so we hadn’t time to bring him to the house and it’s illegal to leave a dog alone in a car for a prolonged period of time,” Danielle explained. “He’s been to the toilet and is really good.”

“I swear, if he does anything to ruin anything, Tom’s paying for it,” Luke grumbled, moving to the side to let them in. Tom pulled out Danielle’s chair before taking one next to her. “Right, so we have everything?” He asked taking his own seat on the other side of the desk.

Tom handed him a small flash drive which Luke frowned at for a moment. “The pictures and the information.” He explained, “Her name, age, place of birth, the fact she is an only child, that her parents were happily married for thirty-seven years, that they are deceased, their jobs, her educational history, her current job and a few bits of information on her hobbies.”

“That is detailed,” Luke commented.

“I know they’ll snoop, but I did a few checks online, those are the most researched things they look for, that and boyfriend history, which I am not going to go into, not because there is nothing to hide, there is literally nothing anyway noteworthy about any of them, I just am not going to be the one to drag them up, because I know if they find them, they are as vanilla as ice-cream.”

“You did your research,” Luke commended with a smile. “I know this is prying, but how many men are we talking here?”

“Luke!”

“Tom, I know this is not something Danielle wants to answer or you want to hear, but they will dig and we need to know the worst they can spit at us to protect both of you,” Luke explained.

“Before Tom, three.”

Both men looked at her. “Three?” Luke repeated. “At twenty-nine years old you have only had three previous relationships?” Danielle nodded earnestly. “And none ended badly?”

“One I was in college, he was a nineteen-year-old guy with more testosterone than sense, I think he is in banking now, saw him at a triathlon a few years ago, grew up considerably since, another is a teacher, married with a kid according to my cousin, they live in the same development, told her to tell me that he said hi and Paul, who I saw at Christmas and wished me the best with my job while he gets ready to get married and be a dad, so no, nothing that can be called ‘bad’.” She shrugged.

“Any issues with jobs?”

“Nope.”

“You left a degree in Business Studies?”

“To help my dad looking after my mam, then I ended up looking after dad and then I decided not to go back to college but to become a paramedic.”

“Obviously no criminal record as you worked in that job, and finally, no bitter old classmates?”

“I pulled Megan Burke’s hair when we were seven because she said I was weird, but I doubt she even remembers,” Danielle stated factually.

“Do you drink or smoke?”

Danielle frowned at him. “Am I applying for health insurance? No, I don’t smoke, I don’t like drinking much, yes I know that goes against every Irish stereotype ever established and because I would wager it is the next question, no I have never done any form of illegal drug natural or man-made and nor do I intend to, nor am I addicted to any pharmacy medications.”

“I’m sorry, I know this is awkward and very intrusive, but you can surely understand my position. I rather we knew about that ‘one time in college’," He made air quotations as he spoke, "so if it came out we would be able to dismiss it immediately.” Luke explained.

“I know, it’s just odd, going through all of this, I just am boring, nothing special, no operations, admitted to hospital as a child because I fell off my bike got a concussion, occasionally suffer migraines, enjoy sports, I literally am nothing exceptional or noteworthy.”

“On the contrary,” Luke grinned. “You are, I literally could not have manufactured a more suitable person for Tom had I tried, you are a publicist’s dream, hardworking, intelligent, self-sufficient, and clearly you bring out something in Tom which I will admit has him seeming as happy as I used know him to be.”

“So long as I don’t react to paparazzi and don’t get sarcastic.” She added.

“Please, don’t do either of them, though to be honest, I rather your sarcasm to your vicious tongue.”

“She deserved it, I usually am not so catty.” She replied, knowing what Luke was referring to.

“Good, keep it that way.” Luke commended. “I will double check everything and have it ready to go, I will call you both if you are spotted, or await your calls should you wish to release the information. I know this is not needed, but as of now Danielle, no silly, brash decisions and I can tell this too is not necessary, but I should say it, no going around dressing in half nothing getting pissed drunk and making a fool of yourself.”

“But Tom said that was the theme of your party.” She joked, herself and Tom laughing as the publicist glared at them. “Yes, I get it, no odd ridiculous behaviour, keep my nose clean and tell you if there is any issue concerning public relations.” She stated seriously.

“Exactly. I cannot see there being an issue pertaining to you, you are, as I said already, the most ideal of partners for one of my clients, and one of my friends.” Luke smiled.

“Thank you, for everything.” She smiled, getting to her feet a moment after Tom and Luke.

“Can I ask?” Luke pointed to her wrist, which he only just noted was in the cast.

“I fell off my bike on Christmas Eve, small hairline fracture on the ulna should be alright in a month or so.” She explained.

“Well, that’s an annoying start to the Christmas,” Luke commented.

“Meant I got out of the dishes.” Danielle shrugged.

“Little mercy’s I suppose,” the publicist chuckled. “Well then, I want to return home, as do you both and...him.” He looked down at Mac who was looking at him, his tail slowly wagging.

“Not a dog fan Mr Windsor?”

“I was attacked by a sheepdog when I was five, tore my arm open, the scar is still visible, as is my dislike for larger dogs.”

“Understandable, though my father never was bitten by a dog bigger than a Jack Russell in his forty years of practice, I trust bigger dogs.”

“To each their own, though he will be a great little shield between you and overzealous photographers when the time comes.”

“Little mercy’s I suppose.” She smiled back, causing Luke to pause for a moment and Tom to grin knowingly at him before they said goodbyes and left.

*

“Is that the last of it?” Danielle asked as Tom placed Mac’s bed in the back kitchen, his new home.

“It is, what have you got in the microwave?” Tom asked, glancing in. “Please tell me that’s what I think it is.”

“Irish Beef and Guinness stew, made with sweet potatoes, fewer carbs.” She smiled.

Tom brought her to him and started to dance a little, his hand on her waist. “I have to say I adore you, Ms Hughes.”

“I don’t know how to dance like this.” She admitted nervously.

“Really, you seem to know what to do.” He smiled back, twirling her around. “You seem to feel it.”

“Tom…”

“Yes, Danielle?”

“Thank you, for sharing all of this with me.” She smiled meekly.

“Always my darling.” He grinned in return, kissing her chastily before kissing her again.

[wolfpawn]

Life is a Game of Risks, Chapter 47

Chapter Summary - Tom plans to mention Hampstead Hill to Alexianna, when it is forced out, Alexianna learns a shocking revelation

TRIGGERS - Past domestic abuse, Past emotional abuse, Past sexual abuse.

NOTES - TBH this is a hard one, there are so many reasons to act as Daniel AND Alexianna react to this news and one is as valid as the other in this situation. Obviously, where sexual and physical abuse are involved, there is less room to even debate it, but Dan and Lexi both have valid points for them.

Previous Chapter

Tags: @damalseer​​ @hiddlesbitch1​​ @winterisakiller​​ @theoneanna​​

Request if you wish to be tagged

The situation with the school improved somewhat after the meeting. Shawn and Lily were kept at different tables for classroom activities and during lunchtime, the headmaster and teachers kept a close eye on how Shawn interacted with Lily. As a result of correcting him when he became aggressive, he settled a little more and Lily, as was the norm for the friendly child, was more inclined to speak with him, if only to say hello in passing.

Tom was apprehensive about referring to Hampstead Hill, he knew it could cause an issue if Alexianna was not in the right mind for it.

When they were having a lazy day together, the three of them watched Coco, and after the movie, Alexianna asked Lily to take off her jumper as it had gotten some juice on it and it had gotten stained.

“Tom, have you anything you want washed, I may as well do everything I can in one go?” Alexianna asked cheerfully.

“Actually, I have a few things in my overnight bag.” He went to get up and get them.

“I'll grab them, I have to get some of my own laundry also.” She dismissed as she walked to the stairs and up to her room. She opened the part of the bag that Tom left his dirty clothes and took them out and placed them in the basket after turning them inside out but noting there was only one sock. She checked the bag again but to no avail so she looked under the bed and did not see it there either. Going to the top of the stairs she called down. “Tom, you're missing a sock.”

A moment later he came to the stairs with Lily in front of him and walked up behind her. “Did you check the rest of the bag?”

“No, you keep contracts in that thing from time to time.” She pointed out. “Not to mention other things on occasion.”

Tom waited for Lily to rush into the room before leaning in close to Alexianna so to whisper and not let the child hear them. “Considering you use those other things with me, I cannot see the issue with you seeing them. Which reminds me, we put them in the far side bed locker, right?”

“We did.” She confirmed.

“Good, I don't think I could handle a 'Daddy, what are those’ right now. I am terrified she will think they are balloons.”

Alexianna snorted as they walked into the room before the laughter started.

“What's so funny, Mummy?”

“Nothing, Princess.” She dismissed. “Tom said we have to play sock detectives and it sounds silly.”

Lily giggled. “It sounds super silly.”

“Really?” Tom joked, grabbing her and playfully pretending to throw her onto the bed before carefully landing her on it. “I think you are being super silly.” Lily erupted in fresh giggles. “You have silly giggles too.”

Alexianna had planned on trying to find the missing sock but seeing Tom and Lily acting ridiculous, she merely sighed and joined in. “Those aren't her full giggles, these are...” She then jumped onto the bed and attacked Lily with tickles, the child becoming nothing but fits of laughter as her mother went to all of her favourite spots, Tom chuckling next to them.

“Stop Mommy.” As soon as Alexianna heard her daughter, she ceased. Lily beamed brightly loving when her mother showed her playful side, something Alexianna was always trying to balance with having to raise her daughter. “Okay, more.” Alexianna just smiled lovingly as she went to her favourite spots once more.

Tom chuckled again as he went to his bag and looked around to see if the sock was there. He pulled out a few things, including his laptop and looked around.

“What's this?” It was Lily that asked the question.

“Lily, don't go at things that are not your business.” Alexianna chastised.

“But that's my name.” Lily pointed to a piece of the paper with her first name clear on it.

Alexianna had not paid any heed to the contents of the bag until Lily pointed to the page in question, then she found herself focusing on her daughter's name before reading the heading on the page before looking back to Tom who was looking a tad sheepish. “Tom?”

“I…”

“Mummy, it's the pretty school and they have horses.” Lily had ceased looking at the cover letter she had found and was looking through the Hampstead Hill prospectus. “Are there horses at the school? Where do they run around?”

“No, Sweetie, they are probably at a stables outside the city, there is no room for them in the campus.” Her mother explained. “Tom?”

“I just asked for a prospectus.”

“But it is personalized, it has her name on it, and yours.”

“Yes, I rang them about it, they asked for her name, obviously and her she, her year, her school, all of the above and…”

“Can I ask why?”

'I want her to get the best education and with everything with Shawn and all that…” He explained. Alexianna nodded slightly but said nothing as she thought about his words. “I was going to talk to you about it later.”

“I gathered, since you had it with you.” Alexianna looked at her daughter who was looking at the pictures in the book with keen interest. “Dare I ask what your plan for it is?”

“How do you mean?”

“Well, it is eleven hundred a month? You know I cannot afford that, I am stretched to my limit as...” She paused and looked at Lily. “Later.” She stated, knowing better than to say anything else in front of Lily.

Tom nodded and watched for demeanour. It was a tad stiffer than it had been before seeing the booklet, but she still remained more or less the same as she had been before.

By the time Lily went to bed, she had looked at every picture a hundred times. Both Tom and Alexianna had attempted to take it from her, but she would not leave it out of her hands, mostly because of the horse picture, her current obsession being horses.

Tom went for a shower after they put Lily to bed and readied himself for the discussion with Alexianna. He had been shocked that she had not reacted to even the idea of the school as she had to the toy those few months before. He knew that with the school situation, she would be much more receptive to such things but he had not thought she would be so calm regarding it all. He hoped that she would be willing to listen as calmly with Lily not present.

When he went back to the living area, Alexianna was looking at the school prospectus sadly. “Lexi?”

“This school is incredible.” She looked at it. “It has everything.” She put it down.

“It is brilliant, everything from the school dinner to the activities, you pay for quality.” Tom agreed.

“I can't...Tom, you know I cannot even consider this.”

“I know you are pushing yourself as much as you can financially so…”

“Tom, you can't possibly expect me to allow this. I can't. I mean, I don't want an argument regarding this but I…”

“Firstly, thank you for actually listening to me earlier.” He smiled. “Secondly, I actually spoke with Daniel…”

“No, Tom. No, I am not your problem, or Daniel's for that matter and Lily…”

“Lexi, please, just listen. Please?” She said nothing. “Dan met someone on a trip back to shore.” Alexianna frowned. “Your father.”

“What?”

“Yes, he met him and, well, I think you need to speak with Daniel about it.”

Shocked by the revelation, Alexianna grabbed her phone and rang her brother. After a few rings, her brother answered. “Hello, Al.” The manner her brother answered her, it was clear Tom had forewarned him of an imminent call from his little sister. “So, how are you?”

“Daniel, Tom just told me you met Oliver.”

Neither sibling, like with their mother, called their father by anything other than his given name.

“I did.”

“What...what happened?”

“Nothing really. Asked me was I actually me, apparently, I look like his father, I told him I wouldn't know, would I? Then he asked what I was doing with myself and if I was married, I said no, then he asked about you too. I told him the truth, that you had a bad accident in college, ended up with an abusive piece of shit and that you were thankfully divorced and raising your daughter.” Alexianna was not overly pleased by that. “He was actually curious about her and asked about her and where she was in school, I told him and he seemed somewhat insulted it was a state one, I told him if it offended him that much, he should find something more appropriate.”

“What?”

“Well, Tom and I had discussed the whole Hampstead Hill thing before that and I said that if he wanted his granddaughter in a good independent school, there was one near you for eleven hundred a month if he was willing to put his money where his mouth was. You were busy funding living in a good apartment in a good area of London and college and her biological father wouldn't pay a penny, so…”

“So what?”

“He said he'll pay it.”

“What?”

“Oliver will pay her school fees if you want her in Hampstead Hill.” Daniel stated plainly. “With all due respect, Al, I know she is your daughter, not mine, but...I really think you should do this, for Lily. I Googled the place, it's incredible.”

“I know, I just read the prospectus. I…Why would he...he never bothered with us?”

“Apparently, Marie made it too hard.” She did not respond. “Yes, I told him that was a lazy excuse. He wanted to make something of amends, I think. You know how he was obsessed with education. The idea of his granddaughter being in a state school would personal affront to him, I think. I think this is his way of starting to make up for everything.”

“I'm not sure, what does he want from this, no one funds something like this for no personal gain.”

“He remarried.” Alexianna frowned. “Yes, she never had kids, apparently they were not for her, which of course, is fair enough and on hearing about us and ..”

“I am not whoring my daughter as some grandchild for hire to him and his wife. I rather send her to the worst school in Britain.” Alexianna declared angrily.

“I said that too but no, this is not about that, apparently. He is willing to do it all legally if you want, sign over whatever she needs for education into a special bank account and never hear from him again if you want…”

“Dan, you know that saying 'If something is too good to be true then it probably is'?”

“Look, Al, meet him yourself if you want...I truly think he has realised he was a shit father and, well…I want to give him a chance, I think he realised his wrongdoings, I don’t know, I just am going to see how it goes. He gave me his number and told me to extend it to you too. I'll text it on, decide what you will for you but if you want my input, I think you should take it, for Lily. Sign his little waiver if you feel really unsettled but don't turn down Hampstead Hill. It's the opportunity of a lifetime for her. That's my input.”

“Okay, I'll think about it.”

“You'll let me know either way, won't you?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, well I better go here. Anna and I want you all to visit soon, think about that too, alright?”

“Yeah, I was thinking about that, maybe after the Isle of Wight sometime.”

“Sounds like a plan, don't leave it too long to talk.”

“I promise. Bye, Dan.” After her brother said his goodbyes she hung up.

Thomas studied her face intently. “You look like you are going to decline.”

“You know what I hated when I was growing up? How little he cared. I swore if Oliver ever came back wanting to get to know me, I would not do it. I mean, James left your home but he was always part of your lives, Oliver thought a private education was all he needed to do to soothe his conscience, that's all he is doing now too. I get why Dan wants to get to know him, but for me...I don't know. If I do, am I setting up a situation where Lily will try the same with Jonathan if he ever decides that he wanted another chance? I cannot risk that. And why now?”

“What do you mean?”

“He had twenty-odd years, why now? I am just suspicious, is it for her, his wife, is it even more sinister, I mean, I get seen with you and all of a sudden, my father is back and willing to spend God knows how much on Lily's education. I mean, it is eleven hundred a month right now, what will it be when she is eighteen, what if she gets Oxford or Cambridge like us? Will he fund that too? Why? Why is he doing it?”

Tom could not answer her. He knew Oliver Hughes was big in finance and in London, then he moved to the States apparently with the company, so yes, there was little doubt, if he had been intelligent with his money that he would have earned a significant amount over the years, but calculating that Lily had at least more a decade in education before even heading to college, it was a fair question. Education was getting more expensive, so of course, her fees would rise, he had not thought of it from that aspect. “Think about it, Lexi. Take time and think.”

“Dan thinks we should take it and so do you.”

“If you do not want Oliver involved, and I can understand why, I would do it for you, Lexi, in a heartbeat, for both of you but I know you don't want this to be how we do this. I think the Hill is the place for her, that I am certain of, she will do so well there and their program is incredible. If it were up to me, I would have her start there in September.” He stated plainly and honestly.

“Thank you.”

“Whatever for?”

“Talking to me about this as you have. After the toy incident, I cannot imagine this to be something you were overly excited to speak with me about. And thank you for your honest opinion.”

“Your sessions have done so much for us, allowing us to talk more openly. I am not pointing a finger at you, by the way, I am saying that I am learning from what you say Barrows said about communication and applying it to us too.” Alexianna gave a small smile. “What do you think of it all?” she inhaled deeply and said nothing as she thought about it.