#oc nina cerasus

[lune-de-miel-au-paradis]

Collision

Summary: Maul and Nina have their first fight. Both of their lack of communication and trust issues show up. It’s long and heated. 

Pairing: Darth Maul x OC Nina Cerasus

Warnings: Mention of wounds, medication, anxiety, mutual pining, miscommunication, idiots in love, angst (Let me know if I left out something.) Minors DNI! Every sentence in italics is an inner monologue.

AN: This fic means a lot to me and I worked on it a lot. If you have any advice or comments, please share them with me kindly. I'm posting for the first time in years and I don't want nasty comments to discourage me from posting again. Remember it’s a slow burn! If you don't like it, please go to another blog. I did my best to translate it, so pls forgive me, English is not my first language.

Please enjoy reading!

previous chapter

divider by the lovely Saradika

“Get out of my head if you can’t face me in person!”

Maul heard her firm words toward him. She didn’t even turn, just stared at the landscape.

Earlier that day Maul was meditating by the lake, deeply hidden in the forest of Naboo. 

Rays of sunlight danced warmly on his tattooed chest. This time, thanks to the pleasant weather, he only wore his black pants.

Being in nature meant that one of the purest manifestations of the Force could be felt more strongly and unobtrusively. He could feel it in the soft grassy ground, the gentle trickle of the water, the leaves of the trees and all the living things that were nearby, whether in the lake or in the sky. He could sense the mossy smell of approaching summer in the air.

The Force hummed around Maul, which helped him go deeper in his meditation, helped him concentrate and see and feel everything more clearly. It was as if he saw everything he wanted to see through a crystal mirror.

Zabrak was preoccupied with so many things. His mind was filled with questions that he knew he could not address to his Master. Most revolved around a young woman with particularly green eyes.

The appearance of Nina in the last few days caused a serious disturbance in the relationship that bound Maul to the Force. 

It felt like taking a wrong turn off his path, a misstep from his goal. 

For once, he didn't understand the path he was on, he saw the final outcome towards the big Greatness only as a very uncertainty. 

He had been sitting upright, eyes closed, motionless since coming from the hospital. From the outside, he looked like a statue. A fearsome warrior stuck and frozen in time. Awaiting the adequate moment of awakening, the command to act, spilling filthy Jedi blood.

In his mind, he held the fragments of memories stolen from Nina like pieces of a puzzle. He tried to match and interpret them chronologically. He knew exactly what he was searching for. A presence of his Master. For that unmistakable characteristic, immense kind of darkness. It’s so intense he sometimes even tastes it on his tounge.

He found himself disappointed. Nina was not in contact with his Master, or at least not in these bit’s he could see in her mind. That's why he continued to look at the memory fragments continuously. Scrutinizing every moment. Childhood memories filled with light, music and stars. There weren't many of those. He saw fingers on piano keys, on a telescope, among holobooks. He sensed the smells of paint and sweet cherry. A colorful scarf, a woman's laugh, a gentle caress. Neon lights, bitter taste of alcohol and dancing in bars. Smiling girl with pink hair. An older lady sits with tea in her hand, her face tired but peaceful.

These were followed by memorial images that were imbued with grief and sorrow. A little girl clings to a man -but Maul see this one quite blurry- 

"Don't go! Stay! We need you!" cried the little girl. The man just shook the little girl off him. "This will be the best my little Comet." 

The visions then became vivid of a woman lying on a bed, pale and obviously ill. He felt a strong hand gripping the arm of the little girl he had just seen, albeit already older. "I'm not ready to leave yet! I don't want to leave you my little Star!" 

Maul could feel the fear and panic emanating from the little girl. She was traumatized and understandably horrified by the woman's death, since she was too young to see and understand the occurrence of another death.

Other memories were not particularly significant. 

He noticed a pattern. After each bad memory the next one was more and more vague, confusing and short. He concentrated and with the Force guidance he manipulated them to see them in his mind over and over again, like a holofilm with big breaks. Every rift was dark, filled with anger and grief. He probably accessed and stole some of Nina’s deeply repressed memories. 

He also saw fragments of today's event, her mind showed him. He felt Nina's fear, but her firm resistance when she was attacked today in the city. He saw the attacking Clawdite's face. He saw another man, a man with forest green eyes. He looked at Nina with angry and deep hatred. Who could he be? What if his Master made some sort of deal with the young woman but erased his presence to hide it from Maul? Maul learned a long time ago that he can't be suspicious or careless enough when it comes to his Master’s mind games. 

Pondering the memories didn't solve anything or answer Maul's further questions. He needed to know more. He was sure that there was some significance to their meeting. He felt conflicted. 

He formed a plan. When the starry night reclaimed its territory above the daylight, he dressed and left the lake and the old villa behind. He knew the location of her apartment downtown, but something told him deep inside that he didn't have to go that far for Nina. So Maul decided to rely on the Force, which would lead him to the young woman eventually.

He barely reached the edge of the forest when he saw her. In the darkness, he watched her carefully from among the trees, like a shadow.

Maul didn’t know the answer why but seeing Nina being hurt and vulnerable angered him, made his breathing hard, his hands were both forming thigh fists on his sides. He saw her small form facing him with her back.

Her hair was still a bit damp from an earlier shower, her braid slightly sticking to the back of her a loose knit sweater that evoked the colors of the dawn. Under the sweater her dress was green.

He was so close he could hear her heart breathing which was slow, slower than a normal human heart should beat. Her scent filled his nostrils. Cherry, almonds and mint tea. This time it was more fresh and it mixed with the sweetness of the milla flowers that bloomed at night on Naboo. He closed his eyes, he memorized her nosie, just being and breathing quietly. He liked it. The sound of her existence made him feel light in a way. As if despite all the bad things that happened in the universe, her existence was the only good thing. As suspicious as she made him, Maul had to admit that she still had a peaceful effect on him. He felt an unfamiliar warmth, which was not anger, it was soft.

This kind of feeling of lightness surrounded him, and weighed on his soul. He felt it since they both shook hands a few nights earlier. Then the Force infused this warmth, this lightness, into Maul's being through her touch. This, among others, piqued his interest. That it was the Force or Nina herself? What is the purpose of this? And why right now, before the Great Plan is starting its steps set into motion? If it’s the Force is it prue or is it manipulated by his Master?

He had so much to lose, and he was not ready to fail. He needed more information, and quickly before this wave of new emotions washed over him and made a damage that will be incapable of improving by him.

He needed to dig deeper in her mind, search for more information that’ll answer this feeling he has, and take it.

If he wants to get what he needs to make sense for this whole situation, he has to be ruthless. Yes, he was too weak, too compassionate last time with her. How pathetic of him, that he let Nina get under his skin even for a pathetic minute. To let her be a wedge between him and his revenge, and him and between his destiny: power and greatness. Maul would have chosen these, and sacrificed everything for these without second guessing until now..... 

Why would Nina have an intention with him if this is not a test? What could he offer other than serving his Master's Great Plan? Nina does not fit into this goal, to his life. Yet he wants to be with her. What a conflicting situation…

He was there again. She felt him before she saw him.

He was there. Calm, Collected and powerful energy surrounded the air.

She waited to fill her lungs with the fresh night air, then she spoke, her back still facing him. She wiped her face with the sleeve of her sweater, she didn't even notice she was crying. The moon phases tattooed on her back were slightly visible to him.

She felt something in her mind, barely noticeable, shadowy dark hands with clawed ends tried to reach into her thoughts. They were so careful that Nina almost failed to recognize the strange sensation.

“Get out of my head if you can’t face me in person!” she ordered the darkness. 

He didn’t answer, instead she heard his barely audible soft footsteps coming closer. 

“One is a coincidence, twice is a pattern. What should we call the third occasion?” she said and plucked off a cluster of fragrant jasmine, elegantly lifting it to her nose, inhaling its sweet scent, then fiddling with the flowers in her hands.

First the Pantheon club, then her favorite place by the lake, and now the garden that extends towards the forest and becomes one with the backyard of her home. She wasn’t sure if the hospital visit was real or a vivid fever dream.

“Fate.” His voice was velvety like a lover's touch.

He stepped next to her and began to admire the dawn, whose colorful lights slowly brightened from the obsidian dark night, but even the first rays licked their silhouette warmly. She chuckled softly and turned to Maul, leaning her hips against one of the rock walls.

"You might be able to convince me of coincidences, but you'll never convince me that you believe in fate. It's an ideal for dreamers and romantics. Something says you're not one to be one of them, Maul."

“You’re injured..” Instead of an answer, he just said this, referring to the bandage on the girl's hairline and the bruises on her body.

The deep, rich voice brushed over her skin like a dark whisper, followed by a shiver that meant equal parts of waring and pleasure. She recognized it immediately; she heard it only two times in her life, but it was enough to etch itself into her memories. It was unforgettable, just like the owner of it. 

“You have a talent to turn every question into an observation.” 

“Who did this to you?” he asked, faceing her, his glooming irises searching for her green ones.

“So you were worried about me then?” she asked in a teasing playful tone.

It was not a worry he felt, because there was no bond nor fondness. He felt some sort of curiosity mixed with lust and a little amount of amusement for her. The Force tried to tell him something he yet could not understand, that was the part that made him curious. The problem was that she was not immune to the touch of darkness. So he couldn’t know her without being familiar with her acts and the way she uses truth and information.

“I’m merely curious.”

“Let’s just say this attack was a response to my bold move. The consequences of my decisions.” she shrugged her shoulders.

“Why did all of her answers have to be so nonsensical, yet suggestive at the same time?” he thought.

Maul started to lose his patience toward this situation and toward Nina he wanted answers, and he wanted them now. 

“Why did that man want you to quit? Who is he? And why did you get attacked after talking with him?” he asked in a demanding tone. 

Maul towered over Nina like a hungry sinister shadow, dressed in black to the feet, scrutinizing the young woman's movements and the micro-mimics of her words from under his hood.

“What? How did you..?  Were you spying on me?!” Nina's voice dripped with surprise and Maul could feel the distrust in her with a hint of fear. This filled him with satisfaction.

Nina’s posture shifted, she didn’t step back, she stretched and straightened her spine and shoulders, looking like a cobra before biting.

"I thought you made it clear in our first conversation that you weren't some sort of stalker."

"I am waiting for my question to be answered." Maul said.

The condescending style of tone irritated Nina. Jade eyes were searching for him. She tossed the jasmine branch away. She let it fall down into the depths towards the waterfalls that surrounded her planet. She touched the upper side of her arm, where the fall of the sweater allowed her shoulders and upper arms to be seen. It still had the four horizontal and one vertical mark on her pale flesh. Her dad's hand print.

Maul held out his gloved hand. Nina controlled her first reaction to pull away, inhaled as his fingers tingled over her skin. Baerly and almost gently ran over the bruise. She had goosebumps.

"What do you want from me?" she breathed out the question.

Maybe even Maul himself didn't know exactly.

“Everything”-He thought -“I want everything.”

Instead he said this, pulling back his hand.

“Answers. But if it brings you comfort, if I wanted to kill you I would, on our first meeting.”

“Then ask.”

So he did. 

“Do you know my Master?”

“No. Maybe. What is his name?”

Already with the first question, they entered dangerous territory. Nina souldn't even know about Maul's existence let alone his Master’s. She is always so twisted with her words. Maul has to reframe his questions to get the answer implicitly but clearly.

"Did someone pay you to be there that night at the club? And later in the woods."

"No." she answered firmly but raising her eyebrows questioningly.

"So they blackmailed you? They instructed you? Maybe in a message or in person."

"What? No! YOU were the one who came to me that night in case your memory fails you." Nina stepped closer. “ Are you in any kind of trouble?"

"Answer the question!"

"I already did."

"Why don't I believe you then?

“That sounds like a YOU problem.” 

Maul looked at her with such a sternness that it seemed to Nina that the quiet darkness surrounding him was taking physical form. She inhaled and exhaled a long breath.

“So, if I understand  you correctly, you think that I have some sort of ulterior motive toward you? Except, that I find you attractive?”

Maul just stared at her with piercing golden eyes. She read them easily.

“You imply that not only am I some sort of threat but I am a liar too?”

“That’s not what I’m saying. You twist my words.”

“Well, it jolly well sure sounds like it!” she was angry, he could tell. 

Anger was good, familiar. He could work with that. It was a familiar field, an emotion he could cope with.That he could provoke and manipulate just as he pleased.

“Is this an interrogation? Should I call my lawyer? ” she mused.

“Who was that man who sent you to hospital?” he pushed further.

"This is absolutely none of your business! He is nobody.”

Maul stepped closer, intimidation pouring into the young woman's aura. He can't leave room to dodge. He has to take advantage of the opportunity while Nina is still so vulnerable. He lifted her chin with his index finger. 

“That's a lie. Why do you lie, Starlight?

That name again. That voice!

Maul's voice affected her like a seductive melody, menacing yet veiled in the air between them. Endless wild night, darkness and the promise of freedom mixed with violence. Maul was like the dawn around them, a wild and vivid red beam of light penetrating the calm colors of the night. Orange, purple, rich colors of crimson. Nina never knew she had a voice kink. Now he unlocked this in her.

Her heart fluttered. She didn't welcome the feeling in her chest. She needed space but also yearned for the warmth of his darkness. She felt the butterflies flutter inside her. She needed something to distract herself. She needed space as well as distance.

“You are observing me too closely! I’m not a little bug in your palm!” she pushed his hand away.

“Why are you making this much effort to avoid the question? Are you afraid, Starlight? It's a natural emotion, but it makes you seem like a coward.”

He stepped on thin ice of her patience. 

“You call me a coward?! Funny. If the Force using path doesn’t work out, you should be a comedian!” she laughed dryly. “I'm not sure what exactly you want from me to answer. But I have this feeling that no matter what I say, it’ll never go through your thick skull. You already decided about me. Let’s negotiate then. What is it you except from me?”

“I want your confession.”

“A confession? About what? I didn't do anything!” 

“A confession about me. What did you do to me? Why are you holding me back from my path?” he thought silently.

“I know there was a reason behind today's incident. I know you have something planned. I’m interested in who is involved in this case? What is your goal?"

"Stars above! Felix hired you? It's him, isn't it? I succeeded, I found something and now he's afraid. How much did he pay you to get close to me?"

Nina's gaze was surprised and enlightened, her green eyes glittered triumphantly. She surprised Maul with this question. He had to admit, the young woman proved to be a really good negotiator. She had this gift which she apparently used well.

He did not expect such a turn. Or is she just trying to confuse him?

“I was clearly wrong about you.” he said, implying that he thought she was a weak outsider, a beautiful but ordinary person on this planet. 

“It's okay, most people are. They underestimate what I'm capable of.” She held eye contact. 

Realization hit him. Nina won't say anything on her own. But she was clearly hiding something. The time for asking and answering questions has ended. This time, the Force is needed. Maul was annoyed, she was convoluted with her answers and his patience was running out. He was amazed that it had been this far at all.

He stepped closer until Nina was trapped between him and the stone wall. Nina looked back, the stone wall was up to her waist, behind her was only the dark abyss and night, the stars had already started to speckle the sky, the crescents of the moon provided enough light for her to see the male clearly. 

Damn those eyes! she cursed them. She had to force herself to look away. They were so captivating. So pretty. How could she not get hypnotized by them? 

The stone wall separated her from falling down into the chasm, the place where a few nearby waterfalls cascaded. She certainly wouldn't survive. The other way out is to somehow get them through Maul. This solution also seemed unrealistic, the man didn't hurt her, but Nina could feel the blood beating violently in her ears from the adrenaline and her lungs taking in more air.

With a light movement, he swept a few locks from her face, carefully avoiding her freshly bandaged wounds. Meanwhile, he noticed that several lighter freckles were hiding next to the darker ones.

"Are you afraid Starlight?" he asked, voice low but his tone was light and casual just like he was small talking about the weather, insignificant compared to what really interested him at the moment.

"Yes." she said honestly. "But not from you."

Maul lifted his brow. She licked her dry lips.

"More like, afraid of what you're capable of."

"You should be…  But. Do not fear Starlight, this will not hurt, if you let me in.” he said in a calm voice, cupping her face with his gloved hands. 

“What are you doing?”

He closed his eyes and concentrated. He felt her mental walls,as he smoothed the wall around, looking for a gap. They were still weak from the concussion, but he sensed some attempt at resistance, though he slipped in successfully.

This time he avoided the deeply buried memories, concentrating on searching for traces of his Master's presence, any sign that this was a trap. But he found nothing. Nina resisted and pushed him out of consciousness, even if a little clumsily, but Maul still appreciated her attempt more than anyone he'd ever faced. Compared to himself, he was gentle, he did not touch other areas, but there was something that Nina's mind revealed to him unintentionally. The man she was threatened by was her relative. This made her snap. 

A sudden movement jolted him out of his meditative state. She wanted to slap him, but he caught her wrist in the process. 

She was staring at him, she trembled with anger in every cell of her body. Maul couldn't get in deep or full, he saw what she allowed him. Even in weak conditions her mindfulness was strong. She lost her compliant calmness, and she fighted him. 

His hand wrapped around her throat the gold irises that pinned her down burnt like twin suns in the darkness of night. Nina’s hands tore his wrist from her, touching the small part where his cloak and leather gloves don't cover his skin. She shoved at the strong wall of his chest, yet, he didn’ move, he was way stronger than to be pushed by a weak woman like her.

“Don’t kriffing touch me like that”

He searched for her. She was frustrated. He slipped in her mind again, under that frustration he felt her panic, her post traumatic stress. Her attacker tried to suffocate her by squeezing her throat. It was still a fresh memory. She lived it through again now. It was playing on her mind like a holofilm. His expression softened. He slowly removed his hand, and whispered.

“Breathe.” his voice grounded her just like at the hospital. 

He didn’t feel his Master's presence in any way. This calmed him. But when he opened his eyes, he saw her.

Her face flushed, blooming red covered her freckles spreading towards her ears. Her jade green eyes turned dark. She stared at him and if looks could kill, he’d be a dead male by now. He had never seen her this beautiful before. Her beauty became ethereal for him, her anger oosed around them deliciously. Cold fire gleamed in her green eyes. 

“Don’t you ever do this again!” she told through gritted teeth.

Tension twisted between them like an invisible rope, he felt it, as it kept wrapping its limbs around his words and around his neck. It was maddening. Maul felt the urge to push her against the wall, fist her soft hair, claim her mouth and taste her and ignite a fire in his chest.

They were observing each other with cold gaze and anger. None of them had such warmth in their hearts.

“This isn’t the Jedi way!” she breathed hard, panting heavily. Ruby red blood dripped from her nose onto the ground. Probably the side effect of resisting Maul’s telepathic power. " I have to admit I don’t usually like Jedi, and you mister are certainly not fun to be around.”

“I’m no Jedi.” he sounded offended, almost harsh as he snapped at her.

“Says the man with the light saber. So you’re some kind of Force user then?” she raised a brow. 

“A specific kind of Force user.”

“What does this even mean?! So not only Jedi can use and connect to the Force?”

Silence. He made a statement, but didn't add anything to it, and Nina understood that it was a "Leave it !" kind of silence.

“Never mind. Did you at least find what you were looking for, if you've sneaked into my mind so brazenly?”

“Yes and no. I still don’t know what your motivation is.”

“Stars above! You don’t get it! ” she laughed at him. 

Maul lifted his brows; she was clearly a lunatic. Laughing in a Sith's face while it’s cornering her. To laugh in the face of darkness, power, death.

“You still don’t get it! You saw my memories, my thoughts and you couldn’t figure it out.” she was shaking while he still pinned her down. See was shaking from laughing, not from fear.

“You poor man. Here I am thinking he was the one who hired you to get me. Silly boy! I have no plans for you! I’m gonna have my revenge on someone that I used to call my father.”

Her voice was raspy but it dripped with contempt and pride. 

Maul didn't understand why he was so insecure about her. Nina clearly posed no physical threat to him. Nina merely existed in the orbit of her own life, completely independent of Maul's celestial body. Yet... Maul could still feel the gravitational pull between the two of them. He felt mesmerized, like the light of the night lights on a moth. He considered the approach dangerous, but he could not resist.

"So you really are insignificant."

It was a big mistake on Nina's part to make fun of him. Maul stabbed back mercilessly, unable to let the previous insults pass without a counter strike. And she might as well be thankful for him not using his light saber in the process. Nina went silent, stern. The light from her eyes faded. 

His sentence clearly hurt her. Deeply. He saw it in her eyes, yet the satisfaction never came to him. 

“I need space!” She stepped away creating a few steps between them. She thought about hurting him hard with a chair or something heavy. 

“Maybe you have power I will never understand nor carry, but one thing I understand clearly, that you truly are an asshole! We’re done here!” 

She passed by him and went away. He looked at her receding silhouette for a long time, never saying a word, only observing her. Again she left without permission and without fear.

Green eyes. Green dress. The symbol of life and nature.

He always thought red was a powerful color, the symbolism for power and destruction. But turned out green was his new fucking favorite color.

next chapter

Taglist: @stardustbee @hellhound5925 @cloneloverrrrr @the-chains-are-the-easy-part @firstofficerwiggles

Let me know if you want to be added 💖

[lune-de-miel-au-paradis]

Meet my OC from Star-crossed :

*drumroll*

Nina Cerasus

Pic from artbreeder

Pronunciation of her name : Nee-nuh

Family stuff:

22 standard years old born in Naboo (in Heavenbound fic she is 32)

she has a rare heart disease HCM

when her mom got sick her dad left them

her mom died when she was 7 years old

she was raised by her grandmother

she goes to law school

her best friend is Polina who is a vampire

and Anfisa a who is a fae

Appearance:

female

pale skin (comes from her disease)

160 cm, 5'2 feet

skinny but fit and flexible (side effect of her meds and pilates classes)

her cheeks looks blushed (side effect from her meds)

she has freckles

she has diastema (visible gap between her two front upper teeth)

she wears glasses at home and contact lenses when she goes out

she has brunette straight hair, mid length and with curtain bangs, she wears it in different up dos and braids like Nabooan women and likes to clip pearls and star clips in the locks

her hands are always cold (comes from the meds from her disease)

she smells like cherries, almond and mint tea (inspired by tom ford's lost cherry perfume)

she has tattoos: one is on her spine shows different phases of the moon, also it glows in the dark, several ones on her fingers she has tiny dainty stars and constellations, and on the inner side of her hip is a loth wolf in a tribal style art, and a quote on her bacl ankles "Ad astra, per aspera."

her style includes gem colored light fabric dresses, mostly pant suits with cut outs

she has a bracelet a red string with a star shaped lucky charm (gift from her gran for protection)

she has a pair of jade droplet earrings, and an enchanted red amber pendant (both gifts from Maul)

she likes sparkly make up and nailpolish

she has a raspy seductive voice (inspired by sofia bush's voice)

Personality:

she is rather introvert and close to herself

likes to argue, good at keeping information to herself (she is to be a lawyer duh)

she has trust issues, and abandonment issues

says that she doesn't believe in love or relationships but secretly hopeless romantic

only dates but never in a relationship till she meets Maul and later Wolffe in my Heavenboun fic

doesn't like jedi or any Force user, she thinks they are snobs and dogmatics, but later she'll like Master Plo and his wolf pack

she isvery inteligent speaks in several languages

she enjoys art, music, dancing and reading

she is a bit of a nerd when it comes to astronomy (not the horoscope one)

she is currious and patient (especially with Maul)

she looks down on men, she thinks they all liars, and cheaters, and only good to manipulate/to be an acessory/ to please her in bed till she founds love

she will do everything to her friends and loved ones

she has a soft spot for Anfisa (my other OC)

hard to open up but actually super sweet

maybe a bit impulsive, but at same time she has a 5 year plan already

they call her the "ice queen" because her specialty is freezing out people and always looks calm and collected but under the hard shell she panic a lot

Other:

she is a party girl but only because she loves dancing

her hobby is star gazing and her dream job is to be a star cartographer

she never left Naboo before, but dreams to travel the galaxy and make star maps in Star-Crossed fic, in Heavenbound she leaves in Couruscant

she is allergic to tooka cat fur

she can't drive a ship

pretty good in self defense and shooting (both comes from Polina's idea to join self defense classes)

she collects celestial themed jewelry

she is terrible at cooking

to quit smoking she learnt how to tie a knot with her tounge from a cherry stem, so she always carry some cherries with her

AN: So that's all I could collect in this moment. Sorry for any mistype or bad English this is not my first language. Other character deep dive list and mood boards are in plans so I hope you'll like her as much as I do.

I plan to make one about what characters and persons inspired her personality, looks and name (no it not comes from mine even though it's similar to my nickname)

💖

Nika

Taglist: @hellhound5925 @cloneloverrrrr @stardustbee @the-chains-are-the-easy-part @firstofficerwiggles

[lune-de-miel-au-paradis]

Dearest mutuals.

I know I haven't posted a new chapters for a while, but I'm dealing with some personal stuff since November.

I had a ton of midexams, then I had the influensa. My grandmother was diagnosed with cancer so I took care for her with my husband while she is recovering from the threathment. Which is a great thing that she is okay now, but also super tiring both physically and mentally.

My dearest little bunny Comet passed away, and I miss my little pet very much. And to top that my usual Jan-Febr seasonal depression kicked in.

I'm not saying these as an excuse or asking for pity. I just wanted you know that I'm still working on the fic, I have an almost full journal about it.

I know my direction, the whole story all the endings and side plots already figured out. I only need time and some sparkle.

I wrote a few new chapters in January but they seem so soulless, this is definetly not the work I want ton post or be proud of. So anyhow, I just wanted you to know that Star-crossed will have the full story with an ending, and Heavenbound also will be starting in this year hopefully.

I am really hopefull, and excited to post it as soon as I feel the chapters are ready. ✨️💖

Thank you for following and reading my work! 💖💖

[lune-de-miel-au-paradis]

Face to face -Maul's pow

Summary: When Maul woke up, he found himself in an interesting situation. The green eyed young woman comes and he has some questions. Is this all a part of his master’s newest plan? Or is it a new obstacle that he must overcome in order to prove himself worthy of his master? 

Pairing: Darth Maul x OC Nina Cerasus

Warnings: Mention of wounds, medication, anxiety, mutual pining, idiots in love, angst, violence. (Let me know if I left out something.) Minors DNI! Italics means inner thoughts.

AN: This fic means a lot to me and I worked on it a lot. If you have any advice or comments, please share them with me kindly. I'm posting for the first time in years and I don't want nasty comments to discourage me from posting again. If you don't like it, please go to another blog. I did my best to translate it, so pls forgive me, English is not my first language.

Please enjoy reading!

dividers by Saradika

previous chapter

Maul woke up alone. Fresh dewy night air hit his nose, mixed with the scent of sweet jasmine bushes, and some salty water mixed with mold. When he opened his eyes, he saw the endlessly empty sky, framed by the leaves of a few trees, and soft grassy ground beneath him tickled his toes.  As he slowly sat up, he felt the previous spasms slowly loosen in his muscles. He knew that all he needed was a little movement to relieve the feeling of numbness in his muscles as the acid fluid trapped between the muscle fibers was released. He grunted as he stood up, but he felt the familiar weight missing from his utillian belt. He looked around with feverish nervousness, but his fierce warrior hearts found peace.

He found the saber in the soft grass next to him.

The light of the three moons glittered on the cold metal as he picked it up.  Such beauty from such a lethal weapon. He still admired it every time he hold it in his hands.

He looked around, someone had definitely been here. He noticed a black material with a neat square shape. It was his upper robe. Someone took it off and put it under his head. His gloves and boots were also lying next to him. This annoyed the male zabrak. According to the signs, someone touched him while he was unconscious.

He put his boots back on and looked around, but he didn't see anyone, he only could sense only the nocturnal animals of the forest and the lake. Suddenly he heard a rhythmic noise. Soft, quiet steps that didn't seem sneaky, but rather quick. He sensed from the rhythm of voices that a humanoid was approaching. So he did what he had to do, he became one with the darkness and walked in the coal of the night shadows using it as a camouflage. Taking advantage of this, he found himself in the halls of the old abandoned villa as an observation. It was a young female. Maul watched the woman silently, like a surveying animal in a situation of danger. To Maul's surprise, the female walked confidently and fearlessly in the moonlight. She was wearing black light material pants and a matching black soft blouse, the moons shined on the silky material. Her movements were graceful and light, she almost glided. It was as if she was like a spirit being stuck here haunting the abandoned ruins. Maul couldn't see her face, but for some reason he wanted to.

He soon learned that the woman had no weapon, her clothes were ordinary, so she was neither a Jedi nor an assassin.

“Would this also be a test from my Master? What should my next step be?”

The woman stood with her back to him, her dark shiny hair braided down on her back, and she opened a bag, she put it on an old ornate but worn table.

She was humming some melody that sounded like something that would be graciously played on a piano. 

Then she stopped and began to listen. Presumably she felt that she was being watched. Maul saw her posture stiffen, as she looked around several times and headed straight for the lake, where Maul used to lie. So she came because of him. 

Maul continued to watch, feeling rage rising through his veins. Curiosity also mixed in his feelings, he knew that the woman had no chance of winning against him, so he was also a little amused. 

"What are you planning, lady? Is it really a test? Should I just kill you? Or did you come to deliver some message?”

The woman did not step out of the ruins, she stopped and looked out in the broken colored stained glass windows and silently noted that Maul's former place was empty. The only evidence of a body lying there was that the grass had fallen under the previous burden of his body. She started back to the table without saying a word, but Maul decided it was time to act and took advantage of the surprise to pounce on her.

He moved quickly, like an apex predator, he didn't have to exert much strength, in fact, it was more stressful to hold back his bloodlust.

He pinned the woman from the table to the nearest half-collapsed wall. The brick edge pressed directly on the female's spine, she tried to hold on to the two edges of the wall with both hands, thereby easing the unpleasant "spine support". From the outer side of the wall, the leaves of tall fern and leander bushes caressed their knees. The rays of light from the different positions of the moons shone directly on this point, so Maul could finally see the female's face in a very good lighting.

She tried to resist him, it was almost amusing to Maul, this feeble little struggle in the hope of freedom. Maul's left hand crossed her, pinning her against the wall with his forearm at the top of her chest by the soft column of her collarbone. With his gloved right hand, he grabbed her chin and turned it towards him, lifting it up.

When their eyes met, her eyes didn't widen with alarm or fear, but instead glinted coldly in the moonlight with some surprise and some annoyance. For a quarter of a second, Maul just watched the face, which he had only seen once and yet was mesmerized by it. The woman was doing the same, scanning his face, so he did it without shame. The freckles on her pale skin made her face look youthful, and Maul wanted to connect the light brown dots with his fingers to see what kind of constellation they formed on that pretty face of hers. Her eyes, however, were even more captivating, the iris shone like a cold jade stone, the edge was a few shades darker, as if it had been edged with pieces of lush green emerald. Now they were glinting at him a little defiantly, so Maul looked down at the mouth, which opened slightly to facilitate breathing, since his grip was strong. Tiny vibrations of fear-laced gasp trembled against his hold.

Between pink lips he saw interestingly placed teeth, between the first two front small pearl-colored bones there was a small but regular gap, when she talked it was definitely noticeable. A flaw that made her more unique and served her beauty well.

Those seductive lips began to move, and in a firm voice, as much as the restraint would allow, she spoke. 

"As much as I'm enjoying this staring contest, how about you get off me?" Let's say, now!"

Maul was surprised, he didn't feel fear in her voice, well maybe a little, but he definitely didn't see any signs of panic. He didn't feel an overly intense heartbeat under his arm either. Despite the request, he didn't let go, he just loosened his grip a little.

A tendril of anger worked its way to his nerves.

"Who are you? Who sent you?" he asked.

"So you can talk. For a moment I thought you were just communicating by grunting. No one sent me, I came myself, and I mean no harm to you." she didn't collapsed beneath his weight of heavy stare as others did,

“Is that so?” 

He leaned closer to her, he was almost chuckling. 

"How cute of her. She thought she would have a chance against him."

Nina could almost smell the scent of smoggy city air and salt on his clothes. 

He intended his movement as an intimidation, it seemed to work, the young woman uncomfortably tried to back towards the wall, this only made her clothes more dirty, but her gaze was cold and she defiantly resisted, she did not plan to show fear to him. Maul absentmindedly took her braid, his hand amusedly stroking it in his gloved hand, he bet it felt silk soft. He liked this little game, it's much more enjoyable with such a pretty creature. 

"Tell me, little starlight, why should I leave your life? Hhmm?"

He not failed to notice her reaction for the nickname he gave her. 

"First of all, because I helped."

"That's not good enough." Maul answered and leaned down to inhale the scent of her neck. Sweet cherries, almonds and a hint of mint hit his nose. Delicious! He noticed the goosebumps running on her skin, for his closeness, for his touch. He definitely felt smug, which annoyed her, he can see the glint of annoyance in her captivating irises.

"They're going to look for me.."

"Insignificant." Maul whispered this into her ear. "Little starlight.. Do you know how many stars disappear in a single second? 

“Twenty to sixty thousand." She answered surprisingly quickly.

"Very clever one. So answer me. Why should you live? What makes you special? Are you better than those stars? Or are you meant to fade away by my saber?"

He didn't wait for her to answer, the intense eye contact said it all.

“For me, you are rather negligible, small, average.”

It ignited a spark in her. Leaning forward and smiling mockingly, she spoke:

"Oh, really? If I'm so negligible to you, then what was that little scene between us at the club last week? You felt it too, didn't you? I bet you feel it now. This pull between us."

This seemed to have an effect on him, he moved away from her and stormed at least three paces away. He didn't answer, but let out a small growl at her. Now it was Nina's turn to be smug. She began to dust off the debris from her clothes.

"I see we're facing a situation we can easily help. How about a hearing instead of an interrogation? You have questions for me, and I have questions for you. How about exchanging a little information?”

Maul just started then suddenly said:

"I could beat the answers out of you if you'd prefer. "

"Charming offer. That might make me talk, and I will tell you things, and enough of it'll be the truth to make it difficult to weed out the lies. But you won't hurt me. And I'm not kidding, they're really going to be looking for me, which I don't think would be in your best interest."

“And what makes you believe in that? What is my interest?”

"Oh, please don’t try to offend me. I don't need to be a genius to figure out that you're either hiding or either trying to get low from something. Not many people come here to this old mention, nor has a ship that just turns invisible with a device."

Maul noticed that the woman's dress was actually pine green and not black; he also noticed that the white stones on the top edge of the high neckline sparkled, as did the belt of the pants. He also noticed the milky skin on her stomach exposed by the short top. She was such a pretty thing. It would be extremely easy to end her life now, nevertheless…

“So what do you think? Mysterious guy from the club?”

Maul held out a gloved hand to help her down to the level next to him. 

"That you are brave enough to act when you are about to die." 

She accepted his hand. If Maul was expecting the feeling of the warmth of the hand, he was to be disappointed, freezing cold fingertips smoothed over his glove.

She was shorter than him even in heels, but she didn't have to raise her head too high to look into his eyes. Finally, she walked back to the table and sat down in one of the gothic style chairs, beckoning Maul to the one across from her, like if she’s the host in this castle. When she noticed Maul is not gonna sit down and just stays in silence, she began.

Mood board made by me, pictures are from Pinterest.

next chapter

Taglist: @stardustbee @hellhound5925 @cloneloverrrrr @the-chains-are-the-easy-part @firstofficerwiggles

Let me know if you want to be added 💖

[lune-de-miel-au-paradis]

Some teaser from my upcoming fic Star-crossed

What happens when Darth Maul meets a girl in a hidden corner of Naboo before the Phantom Menance?

Nina Cerasus is sure of three things:

1. Her goal in life is to graduate from university and work as a lawyer.

2. The stars do not only shine with their own light, darkness is also necessary.

3. All men are liar. (Whether it's a friend, love, father, relative, teacher, all of them will leave you one day.)

But knowing these things, is one thing.

Then why does she feels this nameless zabrak's gravity pulling her towards him so magnetically? And how can her already sick heart endure this?

first chapter

moodboard

teaser reel vid

taglist: @cloneloverrrrr @hellhound5925 @stardustbee @the-chains-are-the-easy-part @firstofficerwiggles

[lune-de-miel-au-paradis]

OC Nina Cerasus deep dive part 2.

Meet my OC from my Star-crossed story. (She is a young woman living in her early twenties on Naboo. The time period is before the Phantom Menace.) I already made a short list about her. This is a little more deeper and collected. I hope you enjoy knowing her and like her as much as I do. Sorry for any mistype or bad English this is not my first language. I made a mood board about how I imagine her, the pictures are from Pinterest.

have they / would they dye their hair? she is a natural dark chocolate brunette, maybe she would add some colorful highlights 

do they maintain eye contact when talking? definitely

what is their tell for lying? a small movement, she picks her right pinky finger.

do they have an accent? she speaks in Nabooan dialect, also, she has a raspy seductive voice. People often ask her if she has a sore throat. Sometimes she sounds out of breath because of her illness. 

what languages do they speak? basic, binari (droid), kenari, 

what kind of music do they listen to? alternative/ acoustic/classic piano, also I think she would like Lana del Rey, Hozier and Mitski

describe them in one word. What could happen to make them the opposite? Abandoned. / Stay by.

do they have any ghosts? yes, her mom died, her dad left, and Maul broke her heart 

what is their worst fear? left alone, die alone, being forgotten

what is a secret they do not tell anyone? she has a few:

That her relationship was with Maul (in my Star-crossed fic)  

She was there when her mom died. 

She was the one who unveiled her fathers frauds and thefts and sent him to jail. It's her revenge. 

what motto do they live by? Ad astra per aspera. - Through hardships to the stars.

if they were a famous figure, who would they be? she was inspired by many characters from movies or books, also from my own life, but if I have to say some concrete examples it would be Amal Clooney's and Dakota Johnson's dressing style, a lot of inpo comes from Ellie Saab and Zuhair Murad gowns. And Sofia Bush's voice.

Also she got her name from my highscool bff called Nina. (She passed away a few years ago sadly due to a car accident.) So it's like a memorial thing to name my oc of her. A few of her personality traits, her freckles and silly moments also given to my character that remind me of my friend. And the green eyes my oc has is coming from me.

personality: the constant fear of being abandoned, having trust issues and the feeling of never being good enough. And she is trying to be the best version of herself by working hard and passionately. She fears to show out her real emotions or build connections, especially romantic ones. 

what great moment shaped them to be who they are? Have they lived through the moment yet? 

discovering her heart disease

when her mom got sick her dad left them and made his own family

Maul choose revenge over her and left in the Phantom Menace, she thinks he just left and used her, she never knew he was the sith assassin till my Heavenbound fic

her grandma’s first accident, then her hospital rest time

Wolffe’s love changed her, healed her and made her trust him and believe in love

what is their fatal flaw? fear of abandonment and trust issues makes her make bad decisions

how do they feel about jewelry? painted nails? she likes celestial themed or rare, personalized dainty jewelry

she gets her nails done soft almond shapes, and always decorated with stars and moons and use sparkly nail polish

what kind of art are they? astrophile as a hobby, art deco as a style, romanticism as paintings and mythological in sculptures and a femme fatale archetype in movies/novels

do they play a sport? weekly pilates lessons and dancing in clubs

do they have a speech impairment? how would that translate across paper? she is well spoken, and intelligent. Also her voice is raspy but in a seductive way.

what could you do to betray their trust? lying 

what makes them smile? acts of kindness and gentleness, paying attention to her little things, also the starry sky, and her loved ones

if you had to choose something to make them go all john wick, who would it be? to protect her loved ones

do they swear? in what language? yes in basic mostly

how comfortable do they feel around strangers? she tries to seem calm and collected being in charge of the conversation, but she usually assesses and judges their gestures and researches their back intentions

are they extraverted or introverted? introverted 

do they stand straight? what is their posture like? straight and hard like a ballerina's posture

what is their sleep schedule like? when she has time after work on mini power naps on rare occasions, she’s more insomniac workaholic

would they consciously invade someone else's body space? even a stranger's? always holds a decent distance, except when she flirts

how do they feel about contact with other people? do they flinch? she doesn’t like touchy people and only hugs her loved ones

are they the first to hug? never (exception if when she hugs Maul)

what would make them kill / stop them from killing? her morals, she wouldn’t hurt anyone on purpose and she avoids physical harm

how do they smile? do they have dimples? yes she has smaller dimples, and in her apples and on her chin, and it makes her diastema visible

what about their teeth -- braces? sharp teeth? dentures? yellow teeth? what about spots? hers are white and straight but she has diastema (a big space between her two front teeth)

how do they get others' attention? clear their throat? punch them? clears her throat,

do they talk with their hands? sometimes

what is their final goal? building her home, having a family and feeling safe

how would they describe happiness? being with the people she can trust and love, under the bright starry night admiring the comets

what is their biggest conflict? it doesn't need to be big for everyone else, only for them. 

she needs to learn to let others in and be open for love

it’s hard for her to understand that Wolffe is loves her and doesn’t have the intention to leave her

also letting go Maul, she never knew who he truly was and her ideal about him got shattered in my Heavenbound fic, she had a hard time learning the truth letting her feelings go and having a closure, after she meets him on Mandalore

how do they react to death? seel super sad, and isolate herself 

do they cry? how do they cry ? in silent tears, or sobbing and screaming in pain, but she is not a crybaby. she suppresses it and have “episodes” of panic attacks she refers to as“inner storms”

how do they react when someone else is crying? can they comfort a stranger? she tries to give some sort of solution or comfort, she is empathetic

how are they around pets? are they allergic to any? she is allergic to tooka cats, she loves wolves 

following up, do they have allergies? to some pollens, and tooka cats

do they take off their shoes going into a stranger's house? would they offer to do the dishes? she offers to help cleaning up

do they call strangers by their first name or title? she is a professional lawyer so she calls people on their title/ titled name or accost

how do they show fear? trying to hide it? shaking? etc. she tries to hide it and acting calm and collected, try to show out her fearlessness, her voice is tremble and she shake's lightly

what is their impact on other characters? she usually gives the impression of a beautiful, clever, well spoken intelligent women who is very elusive and cunning

how could any of these change by the end of the story? we can see her softened up and warm hearted true self in the end of Heavenbound, she heals her traumas from Starcrossed, lets go of her past and builds her own family. She learns to trust and she dies while she is defending others. 

Taglist: @hellhound5925 @cloneloverrrrr @stardustbee @the-chains-are-the-easy-part @firstofficerwiggles

let me know if you would like to be added!

[lune-de-miel-au-paradis]

About Nina Cerasus’s illness the HCM

I mentioned in most of the chapters in Star-crossed and in Heavenbound (they both my fic you can read them here) that she has an illness that causes her character to have some plotlines and complexity. 

It is actually a rare disease in real life, and not many know about it, so I decided to make an extra post to share some extra info about it. Let’s dig in!

About HCM: 

It’s a type of heart disease called hypertrophic cardiomyopathy (HCM). 

It basically causes the heart muscles to thicken, which in turn makes it more difficult to pump blood through the body’s system. HCM is a heart disease that can affect how effectively the heart can pump blood.

HCM is autosomal dominant condition, meaning that individuals have a 50% chance of inheriting, or passing on, the predisposition to this disorder to their children. (Nina inherited from her father Felix who already had a heart transplant surgery.)

What is it like to live with a disease like this? 

The symptoms that Nina exhibits include shortness of breath, chest pain, and a propensity for fainting or feeling dizzy. There’s also a heightened risk of heart failure or sudden cardiac death. Also the medications she needs to take, make her often have a cold nose, hands and feet. 

People with hypertrophic cardiomyopathy (HCM) will benefit from a heart-healthy diet. This includes a diet rich in fruits, vegetables, and whole grains and low in added sugar, sodium, and trans and saturated fats.

So Nina usually eats a very healthy balanced meal.

Making lifestyle changes such as exercising more, quitting smoking, and avoiding alcohol are beneficial. However, if you have HCM you should speak with a doctor before increasing your physical activity. The recommendation for people with HCM is to avoid high-intensity exercise since it can worsen symptoms. This is why Nina has pilates classes with Master Plo, and meditating classes.

About drinking coffee or other caffeinated drinks, always talk to your cardiologist! Because  caffeine is a stimulant that affects everyone differently. If you are living with HCM, know how the foods, beverages, and supplements you consume could affect your heart rhythm.

Like alcohol, caffeine can also cause dehydration, which can worsen the symptoms of HCM. Ask your doctor about caffeine and what levels of coffee, soda, tea, and other caffeinated products are safe for you to drink.

I made Nina a tea girlie. 

Women with HCM generally tolerate pregnancy well. The risk is however higher in women who are symptomatic before pregnancy or in those with severe left ventricular outflow tract obstruction. The incidence of arrhythmias does not appear to be increased during pregnancy and maternal mortality is low. But I made Nina make the decision to not have her own biological baby, and choose adoption instead in the Heavenbound storyline.

Author's Note: 

I have to say that people with this kind of disease can live a normal life.

But I slightly overemphasized Nina's illness at certain points for dramaturgical reasons.

For example, hyperspace travels take a toll on her, if she doesn't receive certain treatment beforehand. This idea came from the fact that all travel can be physically stressful for us, so traveling in space and hyperspace jumping can certainly have an even greater effect on a person, and there is also space radiation. Thus, Nina must receive a certain vitamin cocktail injection in my story before the trip. This is, of course, fiction!

Nina avoids alcohol, smoking and caffeine-based drinks mostly. In her early 20's and party years she drinks and occasionally smokes, and quits it after receiving some bad news of her health.

She drinks mint tea. She exercises often and takes the necessary medications despite the side effects. She chose not to have a baby because she does not want to pass on this disease and is also afraid of death caused by childbirth.

I also wanted to show the emotional side of what it's like to live with this type of illness. In Star-crossed fic I have written many emotions based on my own experiences. (Not everyone accepts this disease with such feelings, of course it happens differently for everyone.) But in Nina's point of view - even if it was a little exaggerated - I gave her a lot of emotions and memories from my life. 

In the first chapter and several other crisis situations, Nina experiences these  emotional "storms". 

These panic attacks usually happen to her after experiencing trauma. For example, when her mother died or when her father left them. When she found out about her illness and when Maul left her. (all mentioned in Star-crossed fic).It’s basically a panic attack mixed with deep repressed depression bursting out. 

She called these episodes "storms" because just like the rain clouds these episodes end eventually.

Under these episodes she usually feels chest pain, dizziness, nauseous and she can't stop crying for a long time. 

Nina is terribly ashamed of these episodes, she feels weak and vulnerable, which she hates. In such cases, she releases all suppressed anger and sadness by crying. When they are over, Nina is numb and quiet, her mind clears as she rebuilds her armor/or inner world. She represses and buries all the painful memories and thus tries to move on. (The first chapter of Star-crossed is basically an episode of one of her "storm.")

I know I kinda trauma dumped her, but don't feel bad about it. With these illnesses both physical and mental I wanted to give her character some complexity, and some dramatic deep feelings.

She is my character and I wanted to write a character who has the same illness as me. This is a kind of personal coping mechanism for me and I don't want to receive negative comments about it. If you don't like it, or triggered by it then, please move on to another blog and another story.

Taglist: @hellhound5925 @cloneloverrrrr @stardustbee @the-chains-are-the-easy-part @firstofficerwiggles

let me know if you would like to be added!

[lune-de-miel-au-paradis]

This train is so fun. Please reblog and make your assumptions about my girl Nina Cerasus

[lune-de-miel-au-paradis]

I made a cute reel vid about my fic Star-cossed. All pictures from Pinterest.

[lune-de-miel-au-paradis]

The attack

Summary: Nina found a new job which leads to serious complications with Felix and a bounty hunter

Pairing: Darth Maul x OC Nina Cerasus

Warnings: Mention of violence, wounds, medication, hospital, anxiety, mutual pining, idiots in love, angst.  (Let me know if I left out something.) Minors DNI!

Sentences in italics is an inner monologue, a thought.

AN: This fic means a lot to me and I worked on it a lot. If you have any advice or comments, please share them with me kindly. I'm posting for the first time in years and I don't want nasty comments to discourage me from posting again. Remember it’s a slow burn! If you don't like it, please go to another blog. I did my best to translate it, so pls forgive me, English is not my first language.

Also huge thank you for lovely @hellhound5925 to beta reading it and help me arrange my messy mind.💖💖

Please enjoy reading!

previous chapter

divider by the lovely Saradika

The smell of detergent wafted through the air. Nina coughed a little and began wiping the surface until the sticky jam stain was gone.

"Why are you doing this job, would you mind reminding me?" asked Polina via comm.

"Because it was the only job that hires quickly in the long-term and pays well." Nina explained and continued wiping up the shiny surfaces.

"I understand, but couldn't a droid do that job?"

"Not in this household. The husband is a bit paranoid since the last time their system was hacked. And the credit is good for me anyway."

"But why now?"

"Because if I don't work, I will never have a bank deposit nor my own life. By the way, the new med treatment is a bit more expensive."

"But why don't you simply ask Felix? That bastard owes you at least that much."

"HA! I'd rather chew on shard glass than borrow from the person I hate the most in the Galaxy! Polina, have you fallen on your head?! What a stupid question. "

"But still, he is your father..."

"I don’t have a father!” sighed ” Polina I don't feel like deep diving about this topic at the moment, okay? The bottom line is, I'll finish in two hours, and we can have dinner together at home."

"About that... yeah sorry but I'm stuck in the library, I have to write two papers till the end of this standard week."

“Okay, then. Good luck with that! Text me when you're done.”

Nina found this job two standard days ago. A wealthy family was looking for a humanoid cleaning crew for their house on Naboo for the season. They had some big brokerage company, they received the young woman with respect, maybe a little coldly, but Nina didn't mind. They did not disturb her while she was working, so she could listen to the course material through her headset.

Everything was going well until it wasn't. While cleaning, she noticed the presence of a familiar man. Felix! ​​... Her father. Nina felt a bitter taste in her mouth, she didn't want to see the man she despised more than anyone in the Galaxy. But it seems she can't avoid him since he moved back to the city of Theed, running into him twice in two weeks. These two meetings were more than the young woman would have liked.

Nina tried to do her work out of his sight, which she succeeded, only for a few hours.

That man made her nervous, rightfully so because he approached her quite harshly. When she was putting away a few items, she cleaned the workroom. As soon as the host left them alone. Felix spoke in a stern voice, his whole presence projected hatred toward his own daughter, roughly pulling out the holopad from her hand.

"What are you doing here Nina?!"

She was silent only staring at him with her green eyes full of hatred. There was no point talking to him when she knew Felix felt her defy and elude towards him.

His grip tightened. 

“Do not test my patience to know what your silence does to me when I expect answers.”

"What do you think I'm doing? I'm doing my job. Cleaning." she said as in a 'matter of fact' tone, she didn't even raise her voice.

She tried to get away from him, but he was gripping her upper arm too tight. 

“You know what I’m thinking girl? That you are up to something sneaky. What is the plan this time? Burn the whole house down? Ruin my engagement party? Why was this in your hands?” he lifted the datapad.

“First of all, let me go, you are hurting me. Secondly I have no intentions with you. In fact, I wish to see your traitorous face or be in your presence! I work here. You know people do that, for credits who don’t lie and cheat.” 

Nina could feel the tremor in her own voice, even if it was just a little she hated it. She hated to sound weak. But no matter how much she tried to hold herself together, Felix managed to get under her skin every time, grabbing and turning the dagger straight into her heart. 

She turned into that lonely little girl again. The one, this man left alone more than sixteen years ago now stood close to her. She sobbed to this man, clinging to his clothes in fear, begging him not to leave her. He left anyway. Because of this, she was ashamed to this day. How could she be so pathetic?!

Now here he stood facing her, he didn't look so tall and he didn't look so scary. He was a middle-aged man with good connections and a brand new perfect family that Nina didn't quite fit into, like an old lost puzzle piece.

Thirsty for revenge, Nina wanted to tear off his hold that made her feel disgust. She wanted to hurt him back, scream and make him feel fear of her. 

It was the first time they had been so close physically since she was a child. She felt overwhelmed. The hand that last time caressed her puffy little face now holds her arm violently, causing her pain. 

So many years have passed. The passage of time caught up with both of them. Nina wondered if her father would notice the similarities between them that she so hated in herself. Or does he hover over them and continue to be selfish, only concerned with his own discomfort?

As it turned out, the latter turned out to be true.

The man seemed angry, he pulled her closer as she gripped her upper arm, she knew it would leave bruises.

“Don’t play games with me. There will be no next time! When I withdraw the report and pay to delete the data in the police system.”

“I’m not playing. And I never asked any of that. I don't’ want anything from you” she spat at him

“Impossible girl! You are ungrateful and pathetic. You are like a stain in my life that doesn't come out, but tries to spread to the other layers. I want you to tell Nigel that this job is not for you and leave.”

"Not gonna happen! I need the job.”

“I don’t give a damn about it. You do as I said. “

“I am not your subject. You have no power over me!”

“You are stubborn just like your Mother. Look where it took her.” he taunted her, trying to push Nina’s buttons, trying to break the young woman.

“Breathe. Breath Nina. Don’t let him see you weak.” she thought to herself.

"Don't you dare talk about her! You have no right to! Now let me go or I’ll scream and you can begin to explain why you raised your hand to a young Nabooan female citizen. You don't want to tell Nigel about your embarrassing old family, do you? I thought so.” she never broke the eye kontakt, instead elegantly lifted her brow projecting an “I dare you!”

“Is that so? So defying me makes you feel brave? Hmm… If I weren’t so annoyed by your actions I might find your little games of trying amusing.” 

He caressed her cheek with false love and his mockery made her grind her teeth. Stars above! How much she despised him.  

“Be careful Nina don’t play coy with me. In this game you’ll never win. You have no chance! Maker! You didn’t even have it in you to be in the field. Have I made myself clear, young lady?

“Bright like the sunlight!" she spat the last word with disgust in her tone and ripped her arm out of the grip.

“One day. One day she’ll beat him. He will pay. He will fear him, beg for mercy and she will not give it to him.”

She left the house in fury  and went back to her studies. She decided to focus her pent up anger on something more useful. 

In the post meridiem of the day she was sitting in the park reading a holo book for her law classes when a man approached her, blocking the sunlight from her face, casting his shadow over her. She looked up slightly annoyed, her eyes were forest green in the light.

He was an average looking guy with messy dirty blonde hair, he looked down at her and smiled. It was a kind of smile that melted a girl's heart, but his eyes were sneaky and calculating, not matching the smile on his lips, exposing the appearance of warmth,and showing the fakeness underneath.

Nina didn’t like his vibes either; it felt filthy and not in a good way under his gentlemanly mask. Nevertheless she never showed her fear to him.

“What a lovely sunny day we have.” he spoke to her and sat closer than she’d like. 

“Indeed.” she stuck her nose back to her reading.

“What are you reading If I may ask?” he leaned in and she decided that she was done talking with this stranger, her gut told her to get away as soon as she could. 

“Evidence procedures on business in law” she answered dryly

“What an interesting topic. Mind if I ask a few questions about it?”

Nina turned to look at him. He was trying to make her think his intentions are flirtatious, but she saw it in his black eyes that she wasn’t his type. That he wanted something else. 

“Actually I have a class that starts in 5 minutes.”

“It won’t take long. Well.. I can’t promise that since it depends on how short your answers will be. Maybe I can buy you a coffee." He raised a brow at her and opened up his coat sleeve to show her his blaster. 

A couple of students noisily passed by, distracting the man's attention, so Nina gained an advantage to escape.

She picked up her bag, and quickened her steps, he followed her with honey glazed words she wasn’t hungry to buy. It all felt wrong, he was not someone he showed he was. 

She considered the decision of the path of escape this situation and putting bigger space between them. If she goes towards the school, the guards in the building or a teacher can help her, while if she goes towards the park, it is not certain that anyone is there right now, and the park is a bit further away. She walked up the steps of the university and looked back. The man did not follow her, there was no sign of him. He was gone, just like the morning dew around the first sunlight.

“You’re okay. He is gone.“ she felt relieved.

She went in and waited inside for a while, then started home, barely reaching the end of the columned aisle when she turned a corner towards the stairs and someone caught her hard. 

It was the weird guy from the park. He waited her

He pulled her close, so Nina could feel his breath on her face. It wasn’t pleasing.

Both of them were breathing heavily, Nina because she was caught off guard and her attacker because he was impatient.

“Now, do you have any idea what you are doing Miss? You waste my time. And you can guess because I know you are a clever little girl that I hate it when my time is wasted. My client is sure that you have done some nasty things and stole some files. He wants to get back what is his property.”

She wanted to put space between them, but when he noticed she was not paying as much attention as he wanted decided to show her his real face.

Suddenly the man's shape turned. He wasn’t a blonde guy anymore nor a humanoid. He was a reptilian with greenish - gray scales. She read about it before, so she knew her attacker was a clawdite.

Nina just shook her head in denial.

"I have no idea what you're talking about. I don't have anything, I just go there to work, to clean" she said in a thin voice, as she pressed her throat with both hands at the attack.

"You’re lying, pretty girl, I know. Stop being stubborn, and give me the kriffing drive or else, I might need to break that pretty neck of yours."

“I don’t have a clue what youre talking about.“ she still whispered “ Go on and look through my bag”

The clawdite grimaced, but hesitantly took the bag. As soon as he started to scatter its contents on the ground, Nina pushed him and wanted to run away, but strong hands grabbed her by the nape. 

"What do you think you're doing? My client knows you're the thief to blame for the information. If you give it back, he's willing to waive the report."

"It.Wasn't.Me." Nina pronounced each word with emphasis.

Her attacker just shook his head at her.

"Tsk tsk, stubborn girl. You must leave my client alone! And give back the stolen files. Or else…!”

His eyes were near feral, unhinged and ready to violate her. His hand was on the blaster on his belt.

She cursed herself that she chose the steps and not the sidewalk through the park. This location is more sheltered from others who might witness her now restraining her assailant.

“I’m not quitting. I didn’t do anything, and I don’t have those files!” she yelled back, hoping someone might hear them.

A thin lawyer of sweat formed on her body, and she felt her chest tight and her stomach cramping. Her breaths picked up speed, the chill of the afternoon air burrowed into her bones. Her attacker didn’t let her go, when she tried to run from him as he cornered her. 

“I need to get out of here.” she thought.

He pinned her to the wall of the school, her head banged against the carved marble decoration on it. Her vision blurred at the impact and she let out a small cry. 

“I don’t have it!” she said again, this time louder and voice tight. 

“Don’t lie to me!” 

She was scared and angry. How dare this man try to frighten her! In one week she got pinned harshly twice by males and she was sick of it. She was sick of being overpowered and harmed. The blood in her veins turned ice.

“Even if I had it I would get rid of it already.” she spat back

Nina felt her heart pound so quickly she was afraid she might pass out, so she concentrated on her breath which isn’t easy when someone holds your neck and has a blaster. 

“Everything will be fine. Everything will be fine. Breathe Nina. One. In. Out. Two. In. Out. Stay calm and collected. “

This method failed to make her calmer, her vision still blurry, she tried to think with a clear mind as much as she could and her oxygen supply let her. 

This was not like with Maul, the Zabrak held his power back when they met at the old castle ruins. She knew it back then and she was able to compare the two situations now. Plus the clawdite was stronger than a human and wasn’t here to negotiate. He wanted something she couldn’t give him. So he was here to kill her. 

She clawed his hold but he was stronger than her, and tightened his fingers around her throat and banged her head again to the hard wall. Dots started to dance before her vision, when she remembered what she learned in self defense class.

With all the power in her body she could gather she grabbed his lower arm close to his wrist - which hand he was holding her throat - and started to twist it to the right direction and push it downwards. 

She wasn’t strong enough to fully twist it out or cause serious pain to her attacker, but it distracted him, and she could use the situation to knee him in the balls with every ounce of strength she had. 

His howled in pain let her go to double over. The moment she felt the release on her neck she sucked in a big amount of air to fill her lungs, kicked him on his shin and stumbled toward down the stairs that led to the street. 

Unfortunately, she was only able to take a few steps before she felt a strong jolt from a hand on her back. She didn't even have time to scream before she crashed down the hard stone steps. She felt painful bruises forming in several places on her arms, sides and shoulders. Then she hit her temple on the edge of one of the stairs, causing in her ears a shrill whistling hum, then everything went black.

next chapter

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[lune-de-miel-au-paradis]

Power of names

Summary:. Nina and Maul get to know each other a little better. They are still at the old ruins of the villa. Pairing: Darth Maul x OC Nina Cerasus

Warnings: Mention of wounds, violence, medication, anxiety, mutual pining, idiots in love, angst (Let me know if I left out something.) Minors DNI!

AN: This fic means a lot to me and I worked on it a lot. If you have any advice or comments, please share them with me kindly. I'm posting for the first time in years and I don't want nasty comments to discourage me from posting again. Remember it’s a slow burn! If you don't like it, please go to another blog. I did my best to translate it, so pls forgive me, English is not my first language.

Please enjoy reading!

previous chapter

Divider by the lovely Saradika

"My idea is that we use the one answer for one question method. Truth for truth." she spoke.

Maul found this quite interesting, he didn't know the woman, but he never thought that she could be like this. In fact, he had never met a woman who was the way she was. Sure he met Komari Vosa and a few nameless female jedi, but as a non force user, a young woman she was quite an amusing little thing. 

That if she was brave or brazenly stupid, he couldn't decide it yet. She was definitely beautiful in his eyes, but even then it didn't mean much. He killed much prettier faces before.

"Why are you here?" he asked, voice in low and a bait imperious.

"I told you, I helped you. Remember? You got blacked out about a standard hour ago."

"You were here before I saw ... "

"One question, for one answer." She beckoned.

Maul just looked at her for a minute, trying to get into her mind and see if she was serious or just a lunatic. It didn't work. He ran into mental walls.

"Now it's my turn. Are you some kind of stalker?"

This hurt Maul's pride a little. He thought about how easy it would be to break that pretty neck of hers. Nevertheless, he held back.

"No" he answered simply.

"Then..."

"One answer for one question." Maul mimicked her pronunciation mockingly. 

"I offended you." she said.

"Now it's my turn." growled Maul harshly. He never liked being interrupted.

"I didn't ask, I just stated." she shrugged. Maul let that comment slip into the dark night and instead he asked her:

"You just pointed out that not many people go around here. Then what were you doing here? A lady like you alone in the forest."

"I’m not alone. You are here aren't you? Anyhow I came to stargaze. Then I saw you curled up like a deformed shrimp, and noticed you might need some help." the woman pointed to the telescope. "You?"

"I came here to wait. Did you take my clothes off?"

"Now you say this as if I approached you with dirty intentions." She frowned. "Yes, I took off some of the pieces of your outfit, because your body was hot as fire, I was afraid you would go into a fever shock.” 

“And yet you left a wounded male behind and left?”

“Well I figured that you wouldn’t be so happy to be woken up in the hospital. From the fact that when I tried to put a poultice on you, you growled at me and pushed me away. Plus, you're quite heavy, I couldn't have carried you with me, and the ambulances don't come down here, the vegetation is too dense. So I went for medicine and some food.”

“Are you planning to hurt me?” she asked after a short pause.

“That depends. Did you touch my saber?”

“No.”

He raised an eyebrow at her. She sighed.

“Look this thigy seems quite personal in your culture. I know it's a weapon, so I didn't even plan to hold it or play with it, lest I hurt myself. That's why when it rolled off your belt I preferred to leave it there.”

Silence settled over them, Maul weighing the facts, seeing no sign of a lie. He was skeptical though.

“So. No comments? Are you silent-treathing me?” she asked and he eyed her. 

“What reason would I have to believe your words little starlight? You could lie. You are obviously very good at that.”

“How do you know that?”

“You have the qualities for what it takes to speak like a senator or a lawyer. Twisting the thread of truth is also a kind of lie, little starlight. "

"But If I were a liar, wouldn’t my lies be valuable to me, to negotiate with you?” she asked, a cunning glint in her eyes.

"Probably. But I have already guessed that you have the ability to show your false image to the world.

Her eyes widened only for a moment, then she changed the subject.

"You hungry? I brought some food for you.”

She had to do something. The silence was becoming awkward. The male zabrak saw through her during one single conversation, and she doesn't like that. She began to take out of the bag what she’d brought. The male followed her every move and Nina did her best not to look at him.  Because the longer she looked at him, the more attractive he got in her eyes. 

He was tall, and despite the many clothes, his muscular frame was visible. Nina already noticed this when they first met. However, now the male was not wearing a hood, so she could easily see his face. He was captivating in every way. Nina liked the tattoo marks that accentuated his features and made him dangerously handsome. And that pair of eyes, which haunted Nina for days and nights in her dreams. She felt goosebumps from his wild eyes when they’re watching her. While they were talking she counted his horns. Ten of them adorning his skull like a haunted crown.

He had mysterious aura surround him and had a face so exquisitely chiseled it could’ve been sculpted by one of the ancient nabooan artist.

He was quite possibly the most beautiful and the most dangerous man she ever met. 

“So this is soup and I brought bacta and some pain killers. You need my help with the wounds?” 

He only glared at her site. She let out a tired sigh.

“Don’t be a thick skull! I don’t know what you’ve been through but you need to be taken care of.” she tried again with a faint smile. “I promise it’s not poisoned or anything. Remember I was in a rush, maybe next time.”

Maul only lingered in the quiet contemplation that settled between them.

“Fine, suit yourself. But I have plans for my evening.” she told him her green eyes shine coldly, and from her voice Maul could feel that he offended her. 

Nevertheless, it did not escape his attention that indeed she did not ask permission nor mercy to let her go. She simply ended the conversation and left. How arrogant of her. Nevertheless she managed to earn his recognition for her bravery. It was kind of refreshing. Almost the biggest compliment in his vocabulary.

He only followed her with his gaze, and casted his shadows out around her. Trying to find a crack on her shield to read her, while she was bringing her telescope out to the old garden. He successfully slipped in a small crack. Her thoughts were available for him now. 

She was annoyed by his silence, and this made him amused. But he watched her forgetting about him and concentrating on the stars instead and he felt that a specific kind of nostalgia settled around her aura. 

What an odd hobby. Watching the sky. What could happen? Ships come and go in the atmosphere. The stars are just as dim, and none of the observed ones are necessary for orientation. Then why does she care about them? This seemed like a waste of time to Maul. Still, by the time he realized it, he was standing outside a few steps away from her. He rolled his eyes at himself. Pathetic.

Maul was surprised, she wasn't even scared of him. She simply treated him as if she had been waiting for him. It's like he's known her for a long time. As if they already belong to each other on some level. Maybe it was possible, but he doubted.  

He didn't know this feeling, but warmth spread in his stomach, tingling all over his body. He didn't move, he just looked calm, collected and not able to be readed. It was as if he could have stopped this one moment in time like this, stretched it like a movie screen and viewed it detail by detail. Maul could feel how much a single moment could change everything. That this moment would be important in his life, but he didn't know how yet.

The young woman looked at the sky through the telescope, probably spying the comets that pass each year. She looked full of life and cheerful, her eyes sparkling with excitement as if her irises had been sprinkled with a sea of ​​stardust. When she noticed that Maul hadn't moved, she looked up and closed the distance between them a few steps, holding out her hand.

When she smiled, he noticed her dimples, the small wrinkles around her eyes, and the gap between her front teeth. No one had ever smiled at Maul before. This was new. It wasn't mocking, or contemptuous, or fear, it was just a cheerful and friendly smile that she gave him. Or was she a crazy person? Smiling at him, someone who meant to be a nightmare to the ones who saw his face.

"How about a fresh new start? My name is Nina. Nina Cerasus.”

Her voice was feminine but a bit hoarse. Maybe he was too rough with her.

Maul found it ironic that her name in old language was the same as the drupe fruit of the tree that smelled like the perfume she used, and whose pink petals dappled the snowy ground of the planet Carlac when it bloomed. Her other name meant grace.  

"You haven't given me your name. I can't call you a mysterious stranger every time we meet." she laughed faintly, not breaking eye contact. “ My grandmother said that a name has power. If you don't know someone's name, you have no power over them.”

“What if I don’t want you to have this kind of power?” he asked, but he knew at that moment it was late for that. She affected him in some way, since they met. 

He wasn't able to concentrate while he meditated, he felt frustrated all the time.

Maul felt uncertain, when he was in an uncharted unknown place, there he could always refer to the Force. This time it's different somehow. The Force was whispering to his intuition, so he answered by it.

“Maul.” 

He accepted the hand extended to him. When his fingers slid into her palm, the Force for a moment created dim images, they were more part of some sort of feelings than clear images. It showed him feelings of nostalgia for future memories. Nevertheless made sense to him, that was the moment when Maul knew that his fate was partially intertwined with Nina's. The average, non-Force sensitive  Nina.

Since he told her his name he realized that he would always be Maul to her. Not Darth, not Maul the apprentice, not the assassin, just Maul heir to Dathomir.

He only remembered this name. If there was another and different before, it no longer belonged to him.

What wise words were spoken by her relative.

His master really had Maul under his control, as he had given him that name when he earned it.

He wondered about this when Nina tried to show him a couple of comets up close through the telescope. He still didn't understand why she was special, but even if impulsively and unexpectedly, Nina showed a little bit of herself, just for him,her mental walls were nowhere to be found. This made him feel important for some reason, in a way, he couldn't grasp a thought about but felt …

Her eyes drifted to the colorful comets before they drifted back to his. His hearts slowed a fractions of a heartbeats. He noticed the heat rush back to her pale skin on her cheeks. This made tiny crackles of electricity hum under her gaze. It grounded him with such a weight that it took a big amount of willpower not to step closer to her. Instead he shake off the strange sensation and stepped back.

Then he left for his ship, he felt that he needed to give back her space. Never even think about her that night. 

The golden and crimson lights of dawn reflected on his black attire as he meditated on the grass. This time with success. This was what his mind was so wrapped up about. Nevertheless he went for a walk  to clear his thoughts before his morning training began.

She was almost out of the woods in the clear between the forest and the house. He stood before her and in his stretched hand was her bag, which she brought earlier for him. 

When their eyes met, he clearly felt the young woman's attraction to him. The green in her irises seemed even brighter in sunlight like jade crystals in crown jewelry.

"I didn't mean to disturb your meditation." she spoke softly.

“Maybe I’ll see you again. “ he said. 

“Maybe you will, Maul.” 

She meant it, but never promised anything.

This was the first time saying his name out loud. The name slipped softly and elegantly from her lips, and he liked the sound of it as if it was a whisper into the receding night.

She felt her mood swift to this new sensation, excitement and the colorful stars she saw. Meeting him was indeed like watching a handful of shooting stars in the sky. Suddenly the ruins felt less quiet, buzzing with some sort of disturbance. It was dark, but comfortingly dark, the one she always knew.

Then she turned away and went home, leaving the moment fading away, with a half smile on her face.

next chapter

Taglist: @stardustbee @hellhound5925 @cloneloverrrrr @the-chains-are-the-easy-part @firstofficerwiggles

Let me know if you want to be added 💖

[lune-de-miel-au-paradis]

Your magnetic filed - Nina's pow

Summary: When Nina saw the mysterious zabrak again, collapsing in her favorite place. She decides to help him, and she has some questions. Also Nina doesn’t know his name nor that he is a sith lord but something drawn her to him. 

Pairing: Darth Maul x OC Nina Cerasus

Warnings: Mention of wounds, medication, anxiety, mutual pining, idiots in love, angst (Let me know if I left out something.) Minors DNI!

AN: This fic means a lot to me and I worked on it a lot. If you have any advice or comments, please share them with me kindly. I'm posting for the first time in years and I don't want nasty comments to discourage me from posting again. If you don't like it, please go to another blog. I did my best to translate it, so pls forgive me, English is not my first language. The title if a line from the song from Lights - Magnetic field.

Please enjoy reading!

previous chapter

Divider from the lovely Saradika!

When Nina saw him, she knew things were gonna change. She felt it in every molecule in her body; she even felt the shift in the air. It was heavy like a dark velvet blanket, not light and airy.

Although she couldn't see him well under the black clothes, she still felt that it was Him.

First she just stared at him frozen in place. Her mind screamed to run away, but her body disobeyed the instinct, it was too inviting to resist. The comfort of darkness surrounded her, softly and full of feelings fleeting around her like a melody. Anger, betrayal, pain. These were familiar to her. Why would she be afraid then?

What happened next was not what she expected. The tall frame in the black cloak trembled and before she could’ve thought it through Nina acted only instinct, rushing over to offer support. Her brain almost screamed as it tried to activate survival instincts to prevent her from approaching the figure, but Nina ignored the voice. It really was Him. Nina didn't even have a moment to realize what was happening, the zabrak's hand reached out and grabbed her hair. He dragged her down with him. Made her to fall. 

That hurt.

Nina tried to free herself from the heavy body, but it was difficult. She thought correctly earlier, the zabrak was indeed very muscular and kriffing heavy for her. Freeing her hair from his gloved hand, she sighed, breaking the silence that surrounded her except for the sounds of nature. She didn't really know what exactly was going on, so she acted by jumping to conclusions.

She referred to the knowledge she learned in first aid at school and from her grandmother, who was a nurse. The zabrak's body was blazing hot, it looked like he was shocked with a hundred maximum volume taser, so Nina carefully tried to peel off the unnecessary layers of clothing, earning a horrified grunt from him. Not all of it, because the weather had cooled considerably, she even shivered a little. Even the sky started to begin to turn from the warm golden hours to a vibrant pink sunset. The faint outlines of the three moons could already be seen behind the waterfall. The clothes were from a material that felt durable, and thick yet silky soft to her touch. It must be from some far exotic place, she never saw a material like this. It was mysterious and exotic just like its owner.

She noticed something shiny in the grass. It was some sort of durasteel metal, it seemed to have an exact type of heaviness, like when you hold something lightly but after a while it seems to have an actual weight. It had shiny red rubies in it. Lethal and exquisite looking at the same. Nina knew what it was. A weapon with ancient roots, representing privileges, power and freedom. Nina never saw a lightsaber this close before. She observed it by crouching down and slightly tilting her head. If she had reached out her hand, she could have stroked its cold elegant handle. But she decided not to. It felt wrong to touch it, it seemed private and way too dangerous for her to pick it up, so she left it there. She looked around but couldn’t really find the ship he came from, but she knew that he was using some sort of cloaking device. Interesting! So he is hiding from someone, or does not want to be noticed!

She paced a little, how can she help him? For a second she thought about leaving him there, but she had a thirst for answers from him and knew that if she wanted rejoinder, she would have to stay and help. Although she didn't particularly like the ungrateful grunt coming from him. Even if the sound sent a pleasant shiver through her spine. And she couldn’t just leave an injured person behind. So she decided to go and get some food and medicine from her home.

When she got back, it was dark, the moons shined brightly and a few charcoal colored clouds hid the stars. She didn't see the man anywhere, but she felt that she was being watched. It was the same strange feeling as last week at the club. She wasn't afraid, but she thought it better to be careful. She started humming quietly a melody that she used to learn how to play on piano many moons ago. Her fingers were never nimble enough to play properly, but the melody itself always calmed her soul down.

The purpose of humming was to indicate that she did not intend to harm or threaten. But maybe it didn't work properly because the next moment she felt a strong jolt, dust flew up, she felt dizzy and strong hands pinned her to the side of the wall.

It happened fast and quickly and it was not pleasant to be pressed against the dirty cold damp walls. Nina tried to push her attacker away, straining at him with all her might, but he didn't even move.

Her gaze was pinned on the men before her, when he lifted her chin. They eyes locked to each other, It was dangerous to look in his irises but at same time she couldn’t make herself look else where.Those crimson and gold eyes reflected in the darkness of the night and even brighter the cold light of the crescent moons that shone upon them. Nina had already looked at his face before, while he lay passed out, the patterns that seemed to follow the position of the facial muscles and nerves served as a deterrent. 

But she was not frightened, on the contrary, Nina was reminded of a complex pattern of the Rorschach inkblot test, which is used by psychologists. They all looked like butterflies.

The black patterns fascinated her and made her curious at the same time. How did they make it? Maybe he was born with them? They didn't look like traditional zabrak nor cut tattooed ones. She longed to run her fingers along the lines, seeing them fully for the first time. It seemed strange to stare at too long  while he passed out. But now she did have a chance. She followed the black lines with her green eyes. From his horns, and eyes, through the diamond shapes on his nose down to his mouth. They were unique.They suited him well.

It was embarrassing to admit in such a situation, but the man was attractive to look at. She was drawn to him, like he had some sort of magnetic field that locked her attention on him. It was not the force it was more elemental than forced by him.

When Nina noticed that the male was looking at her lips, she decided to break the silence, gathering all her courage. She wasn't afraid, but she could feel her heartbeat racing from the adrenaline, even if it was just a beat to what could be considered an average, normal heartbeat. But she already felt the apples of her cheek turn into rosy shade. She didn't want him to feel that. She didn't trust him, even if her instinct told her deep down that she could if she wanted to. He was a man and Nina never trusted in a man.

When she comforted him, that she meant no harm, he seemed amused, even smug. She wanted to punch him for that. In the face. Hard. With something heavy. 

When she first heard his voice It sounded like a dark whisper. She couldn’t quite figure it out. Something dark, deep and sent shivers down on her to her core. She felt proud that she stopped the urge to close her eyes and listen to his voice, enjoying it.

He clearly affected her, but she still couldn't decide how. His sound was featuring an airy, almost frighteningly calm intonation with a cultured Coruscanti accent mixed with Naboolian dialectic, it was quite distinctive.

Charismatic, engaging and kriffing attractive. Magnetic.

As he leaned closer his scent was like smoggy city air and salt, leather and some fort of condiment. Maybe he used some sort of scented soap. It was intoxicating and she longed to bury her face in the crook of his neck. Something stopped her. 

It was the fact that he acted like a prick and a bit intimidating, so instead, of leaning to his warmth, she backed as much as she could. But he followed, he tried to intimidate her, and she could saw the glint in his eyes when he looked at her lips. He felt the affection, but it clearly did not clouded his mind, not for even a second. She knew she column’t flirt out  her way from this position so manipulation was her next idea for escape.

Breathe! In, one, two, three. Out, one, two, three. The panic squeezed her lungs, but when the oxygen bypassed the knot in her throat she calmed her nerves. 

She decided to push back, she resisted with stubborn rigidity. With her cold gaze and shielded mind and heart. 

So obviously the zabrak noticed this as it moved even closer provoking her. The young woman felt his muscular body and arms tense between their clothes, the warmth emanating from him even more. She shivered, but held eye contact, when he moved his gloved hand closer and held her braided locks.

His touch was light and quick. It fluttered over her and she fought the urge to lean to his touch. He was so magnetic. Either way she was keenly aware of the warmth radiating through him versus her cold skin.

He was conceited and smug like a well-fed wild cat holding her braid, stroking it. Nina wished that the leather glove won't be a barrier between them. 

When he spoke again this close, she was surprised by the nickname he gave her. She liked it. It felt unexpected coming from a him but she liked it still.

Also she noticed that he was challenging her. So she gathered all her confidence and tried to not tremble while she spoke. Try to convince him. 

When he learned to inhale her scent she almost fainted. She knew she had goosebumps on her skin and she knew she became dripping wet between her legs. Then she mentally slapped herself for being such a naive little lady relying on her reckless instinct of desire.

He was threatening her life and her body wanted more of him. She was attracted to man before, but it was mostly the selfishness need to release tension inside her, or to feel something else other than anger and tiredness and having the illusion to feel wanted and desired. Maybe only for a couple hours, dates or nights but she felt it. 

Now she wanted him. Wanted him make her forget her problems, and craved his touch. They clearly had chemistry. If only he wasn’t threatening her life, she would let him touch her and spend the night with her devouring her with his kisses. If only.. She knew it in her guts they would match perfectly.

One kiss and this place would ignite.

The delicious roughness of him, his scent when he pinned her to the wall. 

Part of her felt annoyed, and another part of her felt shame, to be this thrilled by his clearly red flagged behavior. 

Pathetic? Probably.

True? Undeniably.

"They're going to look for me.." she said. 

"Insignificant." he leaned closer and whispered this into her ear. "Little starlight.. Do you know how many stars disappear in a single second? 

“Twenty to sixty thousand." the answer left her lips involuntarily, this surprised him and she felt pride.

But when he called her negligible the fire in her veins froze. She was never really the one who answered fire, her specialty was ice. She thought about all the situations when she was neglected, left and used as a kriffing door mat. She will always fight back. Kriff! She studied to fight back! She relied on all the knowledge she learned in the law classes. She's gonna stay calm and collected and will negotiate with him. If she was going to die, then at least she stood up for herself. 

Using the same intimidation technique on him she leaned forward and smile mockingly, and spoke:

"Oh, really? If I'm so negligible to you, then what was that little scene between us at the club last week? You felt it too, didn't you? I bet you feel it now. This pull between us.'' 

She knew what she was doing, where she wanted to lead the conversation. Or at least tried to overpower and seize control.

 “Fake it till you make it.” she thought.

This seemed to have an effect on him, he moved away from her and stormed at least three paces away.

“Good. Now I have to keep going and push him in the right direction. “ she was dusting herself to show how calm she is.

The thing is she wasn’t really afraid of him. Intimidated of course, but if someone is aware of how mortal she is from a young age and faces the thought of death every day, how can she be truly afraid of a man who has a lightsaber and symbolizes peace? Not really. And if he does harm her well this will be a more exotic death than a heart attack.

He growled at her but kept quiet which meant she had a chance. 

So she spoke in her most determined voice, pulling herself together and making sure her voice didn't shake.

"I see we're facing a situation we can easily help. A truth for a truth. You have questions for me, and I have questions for you. How about exchanging a little information?” 

She felt confident, and after all he was a man, and she never let a man have power over her, even if he is a force user, and respected as a saint. Her playfulness awakened, when he offered violence. 

Something told her that he usually never let his pray this far to speak, nor to be this smug. He was clearly holding back himself, and she respected that in him.

"Charming offer. That might make me talk, and I will tell you things, and enough of it'll be the truth to make it difficult to weed out the lies. But you won't hurt me. And I'm not kidding, they're really going to be looking for me, which I don't think would be in your best interest."

Stars in the night sky! He was so handsome when he looked this intimidating. Standing there with tense muscles, stretched posture, deep and silky voice, with his gloming orbs on her. If looks could kill, she would be definitely in trouble.

Too bad they're not entwined in her bedroom instead. He would probably give her a night she would remember fondly for days, with delicious soreness in her body. 

“Breathe! Focus!” she scolded herself quickly.

She feels proud while she shares her observations with him, that She spotted the cloaked ship and connected the tracks together. From this, her self-confidence returned completely and Nina took control of her excited heart, her thoughts and the interlocutor. She cornered him, with her knowledge. Nina liked that kind of thing, it was a risky move, but safer than depending on others, especially situations like this. And especially from a man, they can never be trusted. 

She could not fully count on the male zabrak's grace, that he would let her go.

Still a little piece of her soul thought about it. She knew he was a force user jedi, yet he did not use the force nor his saber on her, not even his jedi mind trick. Maybe he was a so-called padavan. Still Nina had a hunch that this man was far more powerful than a padavan. 

When her cold fingers slid into the palm of the man's offered hand, she felt the seams of the material on the buttery skin, the traces of wear and damage, and the specific scent of it. She imagined for a moment that she was holding the man's bare palm, she imagined that it’s certainly not as cold as her fingers, which is a side effect of the beta blockers she takes every day.

Then she noted with satisfaction that the man called her brave. No one had called her brave before, since she buried her mother. The game begin, Nina started spreading her the cards, makeing the first moves by being the dealer and the player in one person. 

Nina liked to negotiate, convince or just break a person for her point of view. Mold their answers against them and win the argument. It was almost some kind of  artform that just didn't suit everyone, just like art deco. She was always good in sabacc, since she had the ability to notice the small movements that revealed who was lying or bluffing. 

Her life, or at least her physical safety, was at in danger now, that meant that the stakes are high. 

next chapter

Taglist: @stardustbee @hellhound5925 @cloneloverrrrr @the-chains-are-the-easy-part @firstofficerwiggles

Let me know if you want to be added 💖

[lune-de-miel-au-paradis]

Red as crimson, green as jade and gold confetti rain

Summary: Nina just wanted a night out with her best friend , to dance a little and release all her pent up frustraiton of her stressful life. However, she meets a pair of particularly captivating eyes and their owner.

Pairing: Darth Maul x OC Nina Cerasus

Warnings: Mention of dealing with illness, anxiety, trust issues, daddy issues, alcohol use. (Let me know if I left out something.)

AN: This fic means a lot to me and I worked on it a lot. If you have any advice or comments, please share them with me kindly. I'm posting for the first time in years and I don't want nasty comments to discourage me from posting again. If you don't like it, please go to another blog. I did my best to translate it, so pls forgive me, English is not my first language. Moodboard made by me, pictures from Pinterest. Please enjoy reading!

previous chapter

It was late, just the time when night stretched its dark substance across the sky. The three moons in different moon phases illuminated the night above the city of Theed. Despite the night, the streets were not deserted. This is when the streets near the city's university center really started to come alive. The streets were full of cheerful young people and many other species going from one place to another to have fun. For those who liked to relax but in a more peaceful environment, there were art bars and night cafes. Here it was possible to chat cheerfully, take part in a slam poetry evening, and play various games such as dejarik or sabacc. However, the back streets were filled with entertainment places where you could dance and drink. One of the best such places was the Pantheon. With it’s ornate columns and carvings, Naboo paid tribute to the ancient culture. It is both a reminder of the past and a monument to the future.

Inside, however, neon lights flickered and illuminated the dancing bodies on the dance floor. The place had a good reputation not only because the best DJs and bands held concerts here every night and served the most special drinks from faraway places, but it was also notorious for it’s serious security. There was no place for mischief and fights here. The security guards immediately threw out the troublemakers. Jedi were not welcome here, although they were not banned either. But the entertainers did not miss the superior judgment from those "monks”, it was way more exclusive anyway for them. 

It was also forbidden to take pictures inside, so all objects suitable for taking photos were confiscated in a safe at the entrance.

After all, descendants of royal families and serious diplomats and bankers also had fun here. If you did not arrive with the right company or your name was not on the list, you could go to another place. Because baby, this is not a place for you.

The music echoed outside and reached her like a distant throb as she walked toward the queue. She doubles her pace because she knows she's a little late, she's been studying for too long. Her high heels clatter on the cobbled street, and her dark hair waves behind her shoulders from the movements of her haste. She hears a familiar voice, slows down with a smile and walks to the front of the line, where her dear friend Polina cheerfully waves to her.

It wasn't hard not to notice the girl. Polina was a little taller than average, her messy bob was pink, and her charisma oozed cheerfully around her like a sweet scented love potion. Her smile was easily contagious to others, she could also be very serious when it came to business, and if she was in a cranky mood the maker would beware of those vampire teeth. 

But tonight was about relaxing and having fun.

"Over here! Little miss Always-late-Nina has finally arrived." she stretched out her long arms, hand in hand to help her friend crossing the cordon, shiny colorful thin bangles jingled on her wrists.

"You are not very funny." she rolled her eyes as answer. "I told you I would get here sooner or later. And it really doesn't matter since you put our names on that list." 

"You look hot. I'm glad you bought the dress" her pink haired friend made a motion with her arm that spun Nina around.

"Me too"

After receiving the characteristic laurel wreath-patterned gold seal on their wrists, they walked in. With each step, the music became louder, first just a thump, then the beat and finally the rhythm reached them. The sound of the music almost collapsed on them. The whole room shakes with the power of the bass. The reflectors flash in shades of blue, purple, pink and white. Moving landscapes are projected onto the walls, creating the illusion that sinful souls are partying in the dense depths of a grove, a rainforest, the sand dunes and remote tropical beaches.

The crowd writhes, dances, bodies jump to the rhythm, bartenders in elegant clothes pour expensive drinks. The musicians rule the mood of the crowd like gods. The entertainment venue could be divided into three parts, the dance floor, the bar with its counter and the platform where the musicians and DJs were. The plan was simple to get a few drinks and become one with the dancing crowd. Maybe making out with a handsome male.

Nina ordered two drinks. It happened without words, there was no point in trying to shout over the noise. The girl signaled with her hand in a peculiar way, then swiped her card through the payment terminal. There was no possibility of cash here. The bartender mixed the drinks with spectacular movements, using all of his four arms. He could have been a separate spectacle, he was so precise that not a drop of drink was spilled, but thanks to his speed, they barely had to wait a few minutes when he handed them to the girls. Laughing, they lifted it up and drank it. Alcohol warms them like a liquid fire, their stomachs almost seem to be on fire too. On their tongues, they feel the sweet taste of cherries and the drink's special secret twist, the golden spice. It was a milder, refined version of the usual spice, legal in small quantities when mixed into a drink, but it was rather called by it’s name. So if someone wanted a special drink, they had to show the code name with their hand.

Nina asked for two Jupiter’s twist.

"I love this place! One day I'll open one like this too. Cool music, good drinks, secret hand signals. And only special people will come in, full of interesting and sexy people." Polina shouted into Nina's ear.

"If you're just having fun and not studying for the exams, I doubt that you'll have a chance to open a place like this without a good job."

"Hey, this isn't fun! I'd rather call it brainstorming! They don't teach that in marketing school! Where else would I get special ideas and useful tips, if not directly on the ‘field’? This is an internship, exactly as you will soon have to go." Polina is satisfied with the presentation of her own point of view, and after more sips she adds, "look, it's the same. I even pay for the drink in addition to the entrance fee.”

After the drinks, they went straight to the dance floor. They blend into the dancing crowd with ease. Everyone is beautifully dressed, moving in their own way to the beat of the music. There are even people dressed in costumes among them. Polina completely surrenders to the rhythm. Her every move is attention-grabbing. Nina takes two short drinks from a tray and they chug them. She moves her hips with ease and confidence, her arms snake around seductively. She throws her hair back and enjoys the way her dress hugs her body, the light reflecting off the silver dress as if it were a live disco ball. The dress is made up of small hexagon-shaped mirror panels, the mini skirt continues in an x ​​shape, covering her two breasts, and forms a strap behind the neck. Her back is completely uncovered, her tattoo is visible. On her side and belly the intersections of the dress form triangular holes leaving her skin uncovered in those places. A transparent tulle-like material falls from under the skirt. Small hexagon-shaped crystals also sparkle on the edge of the bottom of the dress. It barely covers the strappy shoes she decided to wear tonight.

Her cocktail dress is definitely pretty, but not as flashy as the looks of the nobles here. Still, she feels very pretty and watches amusedly as the light from the dress's mirrored panels spills onto the wall and onto the dancers. She jumps and dances with Polina. The heat begins to bloom between their ribs. They dance until their feet hurt. They are surrounded by tangled limbs and perfumed necks. Glitters and jewels shine everywhere from the colorful canvases on which they are sewn. Even though Nina's skin is forming a thin layer of sweat and the air is getting more stifling, she doesn't stop. She feels free and careless. The problem is that it only lasts for a short time. She feels the anger that has been building up for years inside of her. No matter how much she dances, runs or gets every good grade, the anger doesn't want to leave her chest. It weighs down her heart from the inside like a millstone. 

How much she craves a cigarette! Her surroundings were getting annoying. Too many, too narrow and too groping. While dancing, she thinks about how nice it would be to push the dancers away from her to have some space. Or how nice it would be to break the nose of the male who touches her unsolicited in more intimate areas. She didn't even notice that she clenched her fists and closed her eyes. She lets out a deep breath and pushes those thoughts away.

As she looked up, her jade eyes widened and fixed on another pair of eyes. This pair of eyes is dark and foreboding. They watch her from the darker corners of the club. The owner of the special colored irises is a zabrak species. In black from head to toe, if the lights weren't flashing he would almost completely blend into his dark surroundings. Around him, everyone moves as if he were just a ghost that came back to haunt and which no one can see, even Nina herself did not fall out of rhythm, just only her eyes froze on him. But she keeps eye contact, still. Neither of them blink, neither of them wants to break the spell that has taken over them. Nina was completely mesmerized by the pair of eyes. The outside of the iris was crimson red, and the inside, approaching the pupil, was as golden yellow as sunlight. Despite the low light, they almost glowed. He had the so-called "eyeshine" just like the big phantera cat breeds, about which Nina saw an educational film on the holonet, when she was a little girl.

His gaze is mercilessly fierce on her. He devours inches of her skin from a distance. Like an untamed wild animal that is hungry and wants to satisfy it’s need. Nina just shuddered instead of shaking. She had the bad kind of butterflies in her chest, all of them wanted to burst out of her. She liked this intensity, different from the usual bored or foggy looks and it affected her with a sense of novelty. She was the first to break eye contact, this overheated and attractive staring contest. She lost on purpose to raise their little game to a higher level. She surrendered herself to the beat of the music and elegantly suggested it with her every move. 

"Come and play with me if you dare. Come and catch me if you can." Although she only started dating a few years ago, she believed there are two ways to manipulate a man: either to let him pursue you or let him pursue you in a way that makes him feel he's the pursuit.

However, she had to be disappointed, she glanced back stealthily and there was no sign of the male. As if he really was just a ghost, or maybe a projection of her own sinful imagination from the depths of her brain. An imaginary creation that embodied the anger and darkness that lived inside her. Add a little booze and maybe the effects of her medication and she has to decide if she has a vision of a desirable male or a trip to the mental hospital.

She stopped dancing and looked around but did not see the male anywhere. Polina jolted her out of her thoughts.

 " You okay?" she gaped at Nina "Shall we relax at the bar for a while?" 

Nina just nodded. Polina did not delay, she led her by the hand to a calmer place. The music was a few beats quieter and the air wasn't as dense here. Nina ordered a glass of water and drank it in big gulps. If she's really imagined him, she'd better stay a little more sober and not get off the ground. After all, she came to have fun and the destination was not the hospital.

"I'm so glad we came. I love this band! And did you see that togruta I danced with? He's so handsome, I'm about to cry. He was at least a head taller, and those strong arms... I'd love to climb that tree if you know what I mean…Besides, I heard Queen Padme is here too. She came with several look-alikes, but I think I spotted her, dancing not far from us. That's so cool! We don't have an ordinary queen, do we."

Nina didn't answer, just took a few more sips. Polina suddenly looked at her with concern, motherly and a hint of pity.

" Are you okay? You took your meds today, right? Maker! If you die here, I swear I'll pay a Jedi to raise you up and I'll kill you Nina Cerasus myself with my bare hands and teeth!"

Nina hated that look. Of course, she never said it out loud, but when Polina looked at her like that, or anyone from her circle of friends, she would have preferred to send them to hell. And that certain tone! Like she's just a silly little kid who needs to be reminded of her vitamins. Fuck it! She was no longer a minor or a child, she knows her limits and can take care of herself. This is her life, her illness and her mistakes!

"I'm fine, don't worry! The crowd was just a bit big. Let's go back, everything's fine now."

Polina looked at her in disbelief. Nina smiled despite her annoyance. 

"Come on, that certain tree is waiting for you to climb. And I remember you mentioned the queen too..."

This time they didn't dance in the middle, but they actually saw Padmé dancing. Nina also found suitors to dance with. She danced with a human in a flashy navy suit and a blue twi'lek.

The strange pair of eyes reappeared just when she had already forgotten about him. Nina danced with her hips against the Twi'lek, letting him wrap his arms around her waist and they moved together. The male was quite a good dancer. The other held her by the waist, and buried his face in her neck. What a heaven to be! Still, Nina's gaze was caught by something more diabolical.

The zabrak moved through the crowd and approached her in a circle rather than straight towards her. Like when a predator surrounds it’s prey. The male's face was unreadable, but the girl still felt the curiosity and desire in him. So even though she danced with her partner, her performance was for only the zabrak. She moved her hips defiantly, tossed her hair, smiled and enjoyed the music. The girl kept eye contact the whole time, but she didn't forget about her dance partner either. She doesn't want to miss out on her handsome dance partners because of a wandering phantom. During the chorus of the song, they spun her around. Because of this movement Nina moved a little away from them, a little closer to the corner between the side walls, closer to him, the owner of the particular pair of eyes.

Nina felt exactly how close he was to her.

"So here you are. You got me." she thought with a smile. 

The composition of the air has changed. It was dense but not suffocating, tingling and dark but still exciting. “I wonder what he will do now?”

Black gloved hands caressed her upper arms from behind. The movement was more subtle than she expected. And surprisingly uncertain. A strong chest stretched against her back, she could feel the strength in his body. Underneath his clothes, he can be all muscle, this thought made her wet in more intimate places. Nina slowed down her movements so that they could find their own pace together. But the male barely moves behind her. The hands slide down slowly to her waist and squeeze her tightly. She feels that on the top of her head, a nose digs into her hair and inhales her scent deeply. Encouraged, Nina slowly circles her hips around the male's groin, reaches back with her hands and touches the male's neck. His skin was warm and soft, despite looking quite rough from a distance. It reminds her of the darkness of the velvety night.

Nina closes her eyes, this is completely different, dancing with him. She hasn't seen her partner's face up close yet, but somehow this whole thing feels so intimate. Her movements are rewarded, the male behind her, lets out a rumbling sound, a growl, which Nina has never heard before, but she already knew that it was the sexiest sound a male could make. His presence was intoxicating. He was a mystery, which was interesting. She found him interesting which was the highest praise from her. Nina closed her eyes, enjoying the two of them swaying to the music, even if they weren't following the beat. She caught her bottom lip between her teeth after letting out a moan as she felt her secret partner press himself even closer to her back. The sound of her moans was probably drowned out by the loud music, but the zabrak still heard it. Nina knew because the gloved hands slid from her waist to her hips.

 "How responsive" she thought.

However, she could not control her curiosity any longer so she turned and looked up. Her dance partner was exotically beautiful. Yes, that's what Nina thought of him first. The red-crimson glowing eyes, his tall frame, his broad shoulders and the red and black tattoos peeking out from under his black hood. She raised her fingers to touch the patterns, but instead the zabrak just leaned closer avoiding her touch, making her gasp. There was no kiss, not even their foreheads or bodies touched. But Nina felt his heat emanating from him, and the way they shared almost a breath, was far more intimate and sexy than a real kiss. She simply couldn't take her eyes off him. Her heartbeat quickened when she noticed how he was looking down to her lips. Before they could go any further, there was a bang, at the top beat of the music, Nina flinched a little but looked up with a smile. Gold glittering confetti ribbons rained down on the dancers from the ceiling. Everyone cheered and raised their hands towards the confetti ribbons. Nina did the same, laughing and holding out her arms, but when she looked for the mysterious male's reaction, he was nowhere to be found. The smile fell from her face in disappointment. She looked around, in the crowd, but did not find him.

She tried to make her way through the crowd. She had a strange feeling, perhaps she could have defined it as darkness, near the male, which now disappeared, along with him. Nina was never afraid of the dark, so it didn't bother her. She was more bothered by uncertainty. Did she just imagine it all? The dance, the chemistry, everything? She had already danced out the effects of the drink, so she knew she wasn't drunk or at least not that drunk.. Cheerful and a little buzzed, but definitely not drunk. She found Polina at the bar, who helpfully shook some confetti out of Nina's hair.

"What's with that look? You look as if you saw a ghost. Did someone hurt you? Because if so, then I shall use my fangs..."

"It's okay, I'm fine. Maybe I'm just a little tired. Will you be angry if I go home now?"

“I'll come too, it's getting late." Polina offered.

"It's not necessary, stay and continue your 'search', I'll be fine. I'll see you at home."

"Are you sure?"

"Definitely." nodded Nina. 

As soon as she stepped out into the streets, she was hit by the fresh night air, which was just cool enough to provide relief after the hot days and stuffy clubs. She didn't have a coat because she knew she would just lose it. Her feet hurt, so she took off and carried her shoes in her hands, her bare feet were quiet on the cobbled road. She sighed in relief as she felt the pain in her feet slowly disappear and the cold paved road cool her down.

A family got out of a car. Presumably they came from a trip or vacation. Nina toyed with the idea of where they could have gone and how lucky the little girl was to be carried in the arms by her father while she was sleeping, and together with her mother they entered the warmth of the family home. 

Her stomach clenched and he swallowed back the urge to vomit.

A different kind of pain took its place. One she didn't want to think about. The second storm in her life. At that time she felt that she was being beaten up by the storms. She had no idea that even all these years later, these wounds would still be painful in her soul. She shook her head, not wanting to think about her father. Anger bubbled up inside her, just at the thought of that man. No, he doesn't deserve to even think about it!

She prefers to go to the nearby cafe that is just about to close, she curiously pressed her nose to the shop window.

"Are you taking anything or just cooling your face?" asked the young man who was at the end of his shift.

A few minutes later, Nina was munching on the cookie, which was dry and filled with vanilla cream, but now that would do. She got home in time, got out of her dress, cursing a little because the zipper pinched the tulle material, she left it on the floor as soon as she freed it and took a nice shower. She had almost used up all the hot water, but Polina would prefer a cold shower anyway.

She put on a comfortable t-shirt and fresh underwear. The T-shirt had the logo of the university and she opened the window of her room, through which she could go out onto the roof. Nina didn't go out, just sat on the windowsill, pulled up one knee and hung the other down outside, leaned her back against the window frame and looked up at the sky. Unfortunately, the sky was cloudy. But the faint outlines of the three moons were drawn across the haze of the evening sky. Just like the dry cookies, this one will do just fine for tonight. 

"If this were a movie now, there would definitely be some dramatically melancholic music underlining the present." she thought to herself. But Nina wasn't in a melancholic mood, she was just angry and tired and tired of being angry and angry of being tired. She doesn't plan to go out today, but she saw her father on her way home from the library. He spoke his comlink and seemed happy. He must have been on the phone with his new family. Nina didn't go near him, she didn't even want him to notice her. However, she already knowed that she won't be able to study or rest after this. The usual coping mechanism remains, which means partying with Polina and dancing away all this tension, drinking drinks and maybe have a good fuck with a handsome stranger. She immediately remembered her mysterious partner and a tingle ran down her spine as she replayed the images of the evening over and over in her mind. Polina still didn't see him, but she promised to look into the list of names who were partying there today. She took her datapad and looked up the side effects of her usual medications and lit a cigarette. Of course, none of them recommended taking it with a drink, but based on what was described, enough time had passed for her body to process the ingredients of the medicine, so it could not cause hallucinations, at least not so lifelike.

Nina sighed, pale purple smoke left her mouth.

"Was he real or was it all in my head?" 

She didn't even notice that a dark figure was watching her from the shadows from the domed roof of the observatory.

next chapter

Taglist: @stardustbee @hellhound5925 @cloneloverrrrr @firstofficerwiggles @the-chains-are-the-easy-part

Let me know if you want to be add to the list💖

[lune-de-miel-au-paradis]

hi there! *waves*

I'm sliding in with an OC x OC game entry: I present to you my beloved blorbo Rowan!

A newly knighted Jedi during the Clone Wars, Rowan remains assigned to the same battalion as their former Master. Loyal and dedicated (sometimes to a fault), Rowan also has tendencies to be quite rambunctious--as a youngling and early on as a Padawan, they earned a reputation as a prankster. but their jokingness is a front for deep-seated anxieties about being a "good Jedi" and doing the right thing for the right reasons. has a bit of a sweet tooth

happy shipping!

Hii☺️👋

Thank you for you message your OC truly sounds awesome! ☺️

I only have one OC (yet) Nina Cerasus. She is not so fond of jedi order or jedi particularly, so I think she would be cold or maybe sarcastic with Rowan first. Though she likes it when someone has a wild spirit and great humour so I think she would warm up to him eventually and even be involved some pranks herself too. Loyalty is important to her so I think he would win her ower with that. I think they would be friends eventually. And Rowan would definetly tease her about how disciplined and ambitious she is.

I hope I played by the rules. And you like it. It was definetly fun to imagine them together. ☺️💖

[lune-de-miel-au-paradis]

Thoughts from the shadows - Maul's pow

Summary: The sith Lord had only one job, to look out for the queen and collect information. But his crimson eyes got distracted by a young woman.

Pairing: Darth Maul x OC Nina Cerasus

Warnings: Mention of violence, narcissistic thoughts and alcohol use. (Let me know if I left out something.)

AN: This fic means a lot to me and I worked on it a lot. If you have any advice or comments, please share them with me kindly. I'm posting for the first time in years and I don't want nasty comments to discourage me from posting again. If you don't like it, please go to another blog. I did my best to translate it, so pls forgive me, English is not my first language. Moodboard made by me, pictures from Pinterest. Please enjoy reading!

previous chapter

Maul had only one thing to do, a task that his master entrusted to him. To observe the queen when and where his master cannot. Master was waiting for the right moment to carry out the queen’s kidnapping. Tough Maul thought it would be much easier to kill the woman. He wanted to begin the steps of his grand plan to avenge the Sith as soon as possible. Because of his impatience, his master reprimanded him and warned him against hurting the queen. His job was only to follow her during her activities outside the palace. Paying attention to what might be a threat to the plan and gather information. This task was usually done by a well-trusted droid, but this time it was not possible to implement this solution. The club used strong defenses and used certain kinds of magnetic waves to block the droids that were inside and approaching the building. That's how Maul ended up in the nightclub. He crept in like a shadow in the right place, so he got in unnoticed. He had a perfect view of the target from the decorative pillars of the ceiling. 

As he knows her routine, Padme doesn't usually go to places like this, but because of her relative's birthday, she had to come in person and not to send one of her minion lookalikes. The little princess was so distracted that she didn't even notice when Maul used the force to "help" the dancers away when they got too close to her. She was so pitifully tiny, one wrong step is enough or if she faints, she will be immediately swallowed up by the crowd and flattened. And although Maul liked the idea of massacring the witnesses, he didn't want to carry the princess back to the palace, nor having a punishment from his master. 

He was annoyed that he was given an unworthy task. A droid can also observe, but in this idiotic place, droids were not allowed, nor equipment suitable for photography and filming, so he had to come in person. He was bored while looking at the many pitiful persons down there. 

They were all boringly mundane and stupid, they didn't even realize what a danger he was to them. But at least no Jedi were allowed inside. A sweet shiver ran down his spine when he thought about how easy it would be to end one's pathetic life in this place. 

He was a divine figure, watching from above, looking down on the simple and useless souls. Like a demigod looking down from the heavenly heights full of pity and hatred. How fun it would be to cause them a little suffering. A single act of violence in the crowd is enough to fall like dominoes, everyone in the room would quickly sober up and gorgeous panic would break out. Maul liked the idea.

Yet he did nothing. As much as he liked to flaunt his knowledge, he was also proud. His master taught him prudence, planning and patience. All large-scale plans must be carefully considered, steps must be planned, battles must be carefully chosen. He acknowledged with smug satisfaction that as easily as the predator could snap out from him, he could hold himself back just as easily. 

He was not a barbarian, but a skilled sworn warrior. He does not lower himself, not so easily and senselessly. He's much more than that. 

He noticed something, an unusual beam of light scanned his face. It wasn't hard to find its source, a young woman was dancing in the crowd, her dress was made of tiny shiny panels like a mirror ball. Her movements caused light to flash across the room. Maul growled in annoyance. 

For some inexplicable reason, his eyes always easily found the reflection of light on shiny objects. There was something mesmerizing about them, if only for a moment. He continued to watch the Padme with his crimson eyes. However, the woman kept distracting him. That annoying young woman in the mirror dress.

Since Padme was as boring as a bowl of porridge without a topping, he decided to satisfy his curiosity because something was off with the dancing woman. He moved easily, invisibly, in the hall. The unknown lady moved easily, elegantly and sexy, but he still didn't understand why he was wasting his attention on her. This was not typical of him, what's more, the woman was not exactly his typical type either. Though passion was an important part in the sith code, he wasn't particularly interested in women, he was way too goal-oriented. 

But when he needed some relief of this kind, he just went places where they made deals and promised love, but it was clear to everyone that these were just empty promises. Instead, visitors could leave with empty pockets, but mostly satisfied.

He had neither the time, nor the patience, nor the desire to get to know each other, date, and get into a relationship. (He leaves this kind of hell to the stupid average people and to those who believe in childish fairy tales that love is important and stronger than anything else. Such bantha shit!) But when someone caught his attention they were usually shapely, curvy and soft-bodied females and not humans. 

Not that this woman wasn't attractive. She was of average height with an average thin build, long dark brown hair reaching to the middle of her back, her skin was very pale though, her cheeks reddened while dancing. At the same time, he noticed how annoyed the lady was by one of the men's attempts to approach her.

As he approached through the shadows, he could feel her anger trying to spill over the strong wall of inhibition, like a surge of water held back by a dam. He easily slipped the female's mind. He could almost see in front of him how, according to the woman's plan, she pulls the men forward, knocks his face down on the ground and makes her little fists bloody while smashing the idiot's face, with her bare hands. Her pretty face is covered in drops of blood, and she shouts angrily at the dancers, the crowd, and the world.

Maul also senses the power she exerts to fulfill this desire too. 

He can also feel how the waves of anger are being calmed down by her.. And then he is already trapped outside, locked outside of her consciousness. 

"Fast and efficient." he thought with faint appreciation. 

When she danced with two men seductively, she must have sensed that she was being watched because she turned and looked directly at him.Their eyes met, and Maul noticed that her eyes were as light green as the rare gemstone jade. He noticed her freckles, which contrasted across her nose and high cheekbones. There was something in her eyes, at first he didn't know what, he tried to get into her mind again, but he ran into strong high walls. This surprised him, he knew few people who were not force users and resisted the mental approach. But these were generally wiser and more experienced persons. What makes this young lady mentally so strong? She's not a force user, and she doesn't look anything more than the average female in her early twenties. She doesn't pose a threat either, since she hasn't gotten close to anyone important like a shadow girl would. Strange.

And then he felt it, somewhere under the desire and light curiosity, suppressed anger was raging deep. It's not a fatal amount and it's not exploitable enough - because the woman is not a force user - but it's definitely there, sweetly inviting the opportunity to taste it and release it. She intrigued him. Her beauty, her strong mind and her blissful anger. He wanted to touch her, to smell her, even claim her. He suddenly noticed the desire in himself, and felt his blood running faster in his veins, as well as his muscles tensed.

This surprised him. No female had managed to surprise Maul so far. If anyone saw him, they usually took a few steps back and he could feel the fear in them, the humble surrender, like when an apex predator corners its prey. It was almost that they sensed his power and immediately obeyed.  But not her. She didn't show any sign of fear, in fact, he only discovered some excitement and curiosity in her, when he gently stroked the castle wall of her soul.

"Interesting." he thought.

He almost devoured her with his gaze. He liked her, the way she moved, the way she looked, and imagined in countless dirty and passionate ways how he would possess her. He played with the idea of what the lady might want, how to get her. And that's why he observed her carefully physically, but more intensely with his mind. 

“What is your game lady? Which little game makes your brain click and your body reacts? Fast and eager? Like a thirsty person would taste water after a long, hot day? Greedily?Like a pirate would take a treasure? Or more like predator and prey game? Ah! That will be the last one. The lady invited him to play, Maul sees the flaring playfulness in those green orbs of hers. He is available for a little cat and mouse game. So be it.”his thoughts run quickly through his mind.

But Maul didn't miss the girl's funny little thought too. According to her, she think’s that she’s in charge. He couldn't read her thoughts, but read her gestures and detected some self-righteousness in them. This was somewhat amusing and annoying at the same time. He could stand arrogance even a tiny bit of it.. 

“Tsktsk. What a false, but true role falsely believed by the woman. She thinks she's the one in control. There is a penalty for such thoughts. Maybe the lady initiated it, but she definitely didn't control the game. The hunter's job is to observe and corner the prey, making it believe that there is an escape route. He decided to have a little fun and changed the situation. He positioned himself perfectly in seconds, so that the female couldn't see him, but he himself could perfectly watch the disappointment pouring out on that pretty, pale face of hers. 

He moved away, the young woman could no longer see him, but he followed her with his eyes and watched her. He noted with satisfaction that she was trying to drive away the fog caused by fun and alcohol from her mind with water.

"Clever girl! With a clear mind the game won't be so easy, nevertheless it be more enjoyable." 

Maul didn't really like the effect of spice or drinks, he liked being aware of everything around him, constantly observing and processing information, reading from his environment and the people around him. Thus, he was always at an advantage, and he was reluctant to let this power out of his hands. His master had taught him well. As well as his experiences that life threw at him. In addition, the ladies he visited from time to time always tasted of alcohol, which only made them even less attractive to him. Perhaps he was involuntarily longing for some variety, purity, and perhaps instead of burning alcohol, he would rather feel some sweetness on his tongue. Something more... divine. 

When she went back dancing he noticed earlier that the tall vampire girl's mothering around, although friendly, was somewhat annoying to his chosen one. How open a face can be. Like an open book. Every tiny twitch and facial expression revealed what the other person was thinking. No matter how hard they tried to hide it, Maul has already practiced this so much that he knows exactly what it looks like when someone lies or says something other than what they think. Perhaps each person is different due to their personality and cultural upbringing, but the basics work the same for almost everyone.

For example, just now the vampire lady asked, and the other gave a small nod, but her smile was flatter, she pursed her lips a little and a small wrinkle appeared between her eyebrows. And even if the vampire noticed, she was not offended, from which he could conclude that they could be in a close relationship.

"Is it because of me that you are nervous lady? Or is there something else?" The game finally started to get more interesting.

Maul watches as she returns to the dancers. Although she seemed calmer, he felt that she was struggling with something, he sensed her nervousness. 

He returned to his task for a while. Maybe it's better that way, the lady now easily turns her attention to new dance partners in an instant. 

Maybe he thinks it's disrespectful and would like to make it harder for her to breathe, but he can't draw attention to himself. Padmé hardly moved from the table, her lookalike maidens sat around her and her company. 

Maul growled a little grumpily as a disgruntled grimace crossed his exotic features. He couldn't focus on Padme's conversation, what he overheard was a bit of nostalgia and a boring discussion of the economic situation.

He wanted to see those jade green eyes again. Before he could realize what he was doing, he used the shadows of the room again to look for the lady in the now familiar shiny dress. She was fucking lustful, her every move, the way she moved her hips, the way she tossed her hair, the way her hands ran seductively over her own body. The feeling of being near to her intensified as the young woman found his glooming eyes again. In a strange way, she always sensed his closeness quickly. This time, Maul happily acknowledged that the lady intended the dance for him, and the others only tools in a play of seduction that she creates and plays just for him. This pleased Maul’s ego. Taking advantage of a clever moment, Maul stood directly behind her. She was so close. Less than an arm's length away, the opportunity offered for the man to approach. Maul felt that this moment would quickly disappear if he didn't live with it. But for some reason, he still wanted their first touch to happen at a different time and place. Consciously controlling himself, he took the initiative with a soft caress, which surprised the woman, but Maul noted with satisfaction the approach of her body, she leaned closer to his chest. He could see the tattoo under the goosebumps running down her bare back, how much different it was from his. It's such elegant and delicate work, the exact opposite of his. This turned him on, he could feel the velvety skin and silky soft hair that belonged to the woman even through his gloved hands. Her body moves gracefully and seductively just for him. And the smell... it was sweet, fresh but not too intrusive at the same time. The man liked this, he instinctively leaned closer and the blend of fresh notes of dark cherries, bitter almond and a light hint of jasmine hit his senses. Interestingly, her hair had a fresh fruity scent, but Maul knew that if he leaned closer and sniffed the crook of her neck, the scent would be sweet, like the milla flowers bushes blooming on Naboo right now.

The scent only made the young woman even more attractive to him. As he touched her hips and began to dance with her in his own way, he closed his eyes and imagined for a moment what it would be like to taste and touch every part of her. What does she taste like? It must be sweet. Would the bed sheets smell like that in the morning, or would it evaporate like dew on a sunny morning as quickly as if it had never been there? Which of them would wake up first after a night of satisfyingly tangled up in each other and fucking?

Maul didn't understand why he thought such things, why did he overrode his obligations to his Master just to hold this unknown woman in his arms for a few minutes? Why did he feel the urge to pull her closer instead of letting go? He didn't even notice that his grip tightened on her hips, making her moan so sweetly that he forgot all the difficult thoughts and focused only on the now. Here. With her. In their own little dance which felt … strangely intimate. Yes it was strange to be like this with someone who was a stranger.  As she touched his neck softly, Maul had to control his instinct to not fuck her right there, where everyone would see, how he markes her as his. Hard and passionate. No hooker has ever made him feel this way with such intensity. And here is this green-eyed female, who is not so flashy, not so honey-glazed fake, not forcedly seductive. Although he didn't know her, when she turned to face him, he felt a strange feeling of warmth appear deeply in his stomach, a warm shiver running down his spine. It was soothing, comforting, he wanted more, but he didn't kiss her. When their foreheads touched again, he could easily read her. She felt the chemistry too and she wanted more too, to take things further. But could there be more, and further? Maul inhaled a deep breath of her scent and cursed to himself. He had only one task and only one rule. Watch the queen and stay undetected. He disobeyed because he acted on instinct, he listened to his desire and not to his master. He knew that this would not be without consequences. His master somehow always senses and knows the transgressions. He usually didn't ask why, just whether it was worth it. Yes, that's what he asked every time he was punishing.

”Is it worth it my apprentice?”

Really.... Is this green-eyed lady worth being disobedient to? An average person, a weak little human, a woman who can neither understand nor use force, a civilian. No!

Malul took advantage of the opportunity and left the woman's vicinity. With each step he moved further away from her, her body, her scent, he realized he didn't even know her name. With each step, his body signaled his dissatisfaction, but he had to listen to his own mind, because awareness leads to greatness. If there was anything Maul wanted besides revenge, it was the big greatness.

To make sure of this, he followed her home. At least this was the reason he used to calm down the ominous signal that his brain sent to his body. He is convinced that this human woman is truly not worth his attention and the risk to his great future. An average young woman with an average life.

Maul knew he would have disrupted both of their lives by kissing her.

Now he was glad his self-control had won and he hadn't.

But his heart called him a fool.

next chapter

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[lune-de-miel-au-paradis]

Pale as the moon, eyes full of stars and a broken heart

Summary: Meet my OC Nina Cerasus. In this chapter you can dive into her soul and feelings before her and Maul's story begins.

Pairing: Darth Maul x OC Nina Cerasus

Warnings: Mention of dealing with illness, anxiety, panic attack, trust issues, daddy issues, mourning, sadness. Long chapter with emotions.

next chapter

When life got too overwhelming she always lifted her pale green eyes up to the sky. The stars spread like freckles across the face of the dark sky. It always amazed her, especially on those occasions, when the air felt too dense and her lungs stubbornly refused to let air in or out, reassuring her that everything would be fine. The millions of shining lanterns up there helped her to lose herself for a while. She always thought about how small she was compared to them.

In these still moments of the night, the quietness and the cool air full of the scent of the blooming milla flowers and the sweetness of dreams let her find her own little peace. 

Her inner demons rested and she felt free. 

She had never exactly been able to express or articulate this feeling until she read somewhere that this was called astrophile. How poetic "the love for the celestial body".The kind of soothing comfort when someone is reading wrapped in a blanket on a rainy day or when a nervous person smokes a spicy cigarette.

But today it somehow wasn't enough. She was standing outside on top of the building that she would later call her home for a few years. Wearing a thin jacket with her pale arms around her. She had a defiant expression on her face, reflecting the sky in her teary eyes, as if they were a deep green lake. There were signs she should have known, or at least noticed. The paleness of her skin, the cold fingertips with which she always teased her grandmother. On warmer days, she put them on the old woman's shoulders, which made her jump. Sometimes she ran out of air maybe a little sooner than the others. But the most noticeable are those tiny, stabbing heart contractions, which he only herself called heart murmurs. She used to think that her body was just overreacting to certain situations when she was anxious or stressed. This was partially true, she wasn't so wrong after all.

After hearing the news, her feet brought her here, to this building, or rather to its roof. The view was wonderful. She had a perfect view of the huge park between the art and science universities and which connects them at the same time. If she turned to the right, she saw the crystal-domed building of the royal observatory, next to which stretched the royal library of Naboo. As if the dome is the head and the library full of knowledge is the strong neck that supports it. With greater knowledge, more artistic knowledge, the head rises higher and dares to dream bigger and more beautiful. The location was perfect. Compared to downtown, there was much less light pollution here, leaving the role of the sky to shine natural moonlight and starlight onto the park and buildings.

She wanted to feel lighter, but her thoughts darkened and she felt that despite the clear weather, the storm was approaching. An internal, all-changing and overwhelming storm.

She was seven years old when the first thunderstorm swept through her. In the morning, when she got up, the sky was still blue, but in the afternoon the clouds turned gray and condensed, in the evening the stormy wind rose and the gray clouds formed into storm clouds. It took her only months to see these dark times as a storm. Because she believed that if she lasted long enough, they would go away. She was still young, she did not experience many of these spiritual storms, but she still had more experience than her contemporaries.

The first happened unexpectedly at a very young age. It was soon followed by another, and another. It was the most powerful and the last one so far. The dark strong winds of each storm battered and crushed her soul. Only fragments of the foundations remained from the life of her; and after these had to be rebuilt. Brick by brick, it had to be a stronger, thicker wall to withstand the next one. Every time, a small piece of her soul got between the bricks. It wasn't completely a part of her anymore.

She suppressed and buried it, so if she wanted to relive emotions or memories, she had to tear them back from those walls.

She sighed and smiled bitterly. It seems that she managed to build these walls too thick. The Universe or the Force whatever you call it clearly has a sense of humor.

These walls extended beyond her soul straight into her heart muscles. Doctors say her heart is still pumping blood and oxygen. The heart valves close and open as they should, only everything is a little slower and a little more difficult due to the thickened muscular heart wall. Everything flows, but there is less inward, less air, less light, and the storm cloud penetrates even among the few.

The walls in heart are too thick.

It doesn't let the light in.

It keeps the storm inside.

Impenetrable.

So far she has received three gifts from her father. The first gift was life, half of which she owed to the man. The second is a kind of daddy issue mixed with fear of abandonment. And the third is a genetic mutation that medical science calls hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. (abbreviated HCM). He hid this gift from her even before she was born, only to discover it later on her own, completely unexpectedly. A twisted surprise that she never asked for, never looked for, and now that she has found it, she doesn't really know what to do with it.

She felt a mix of things, soft and hard. Things were compacting and expanding inside her. She took out her datapad from her bag. Opened the latest file on it. There were all medical findings, lab results, x-rays, CT scans and biopsies. She didn't even know what these words meant before, since she was just a ten year old, she guessed that they sounded serious and that they didn't mean anything good. If things have to be examined so many times and from many points of view, especially if it happens in a short time, it never means good. 

When she heard those three letters, she thought it was some kind of venereal disease. Something she got at Floran's slumber party during the spin the bottle game. She listened silently with an unflappable face as all the serious words of the doctor died away next to the sharp whistling sound she heard in her right ear.

She heard the words, but they didn't reach her brain, they didn't make sense. She was able to pick out a few louder words from them, "new tests" "very rare" "paternal inheritance" "important" "we'll see if we can help". She got up slowly when she got out of the building (leaving her grandmother with the doctor) and tried to lean on her knees. She tried to breathe deeply, but she just felt nauseous. The ringing in her ears got louder and louder, she started to run. It didn't matter where, just away from there. She didn't want to go to her favorite secret place because she only went there when good things happened to her.

She was standing on the roof before she realized it. The ringing signaled the approach of a storm, but it had never been so loud and sharp.

Everything is different this time. The storm will be more overwhelming than ever. This time it won't be enough to strengthen the walls or build more, thicker ones. Now she has to do a fucking rebuild, she has to redesign and build a completely new environment. This is new terrain. Terra incognita. There is no system or destination here. Maybe she didn't factor this into her life, it doesn't fit into her previous life, or anywhere else. It's fucking unfair and not perfect, but now she has to create something new with it. She felt a static energy of tension around her. She knows that her instinctive flight was cowardly, an unconscious scramble to avoid and delay the inevitable. She felt that she had disappointed both herself and grandma by her behavior. But she was also a little confused by the doctor, because there was no emotion or pity in his voice. He didn't even scold her like a dentist does for eating too many sweets. The lack of judgment was existential and shocking, making her dizzy. The storm is approaching, but there is no sign of it hitting yet. The ringing subsides a little, now her thoughts are louder. She makes a plan on how to proceed.

First of all, as soon as her mental storm subsides, she gets up to find grandma, apologizing for running away. Then the discussion with the doctor and the examinations can begin. Which cost money. She knows that although they are not poor and live comfortably, they will need more credit. The doctor said it was a rare disease. So rare, it affects only one in every five hundred people.

It's going to be expensive. In a few years, she will have to continue her studies at highschool and university. She has to choose a path that will allow her to pay back everything to grandma later. IF she's still alive. No! She shouldn't be thinking like that! She comes to a decision. She will fight. The wind gets stronger, cold raindrops start to soak her soul. The sky is clear and full of tiny specks of light, she focuses on them, then she closes her eyes. She knows that when the storm rages, she will open her eyes, although the starry sky remains unchanged. She herself will be completely renewed. The walls are built under perves on an unknown terrain. They build, spread and are stronger than ever before.

The girl who was, now gone. As she had never been before.

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I know this was a bit blue and sad I promise my chapters will have lighter mood.