#of a cool gangster character. that he really isnt at heart

[kil9]

lalo salamanca is my quirky babygirl and nacho varga is my poorest kitty meow meow. theyre jumping into the ceiling together <333

[autopotion]

da characters: RANKED

LOVE TIER

1. sera. love this rowdy lesbian. neither her writer nor the fandom gets her

2. isabela. pirate with a heart of gold? openly bisexual instead of just being player-sexual? yep.

3. leliana. admittedly bland in the first game (though i have a soft spot for sweet girls with dark secrets), inquisition really sees her take on a cool role that combines her two biggest character traits: faith and ruthlessness. don’t harden her in inquisition though, her murdersona is, like, too grimdark.

4. josephine. seeing an antivan character that is not heavily sexualized and obsessed with sex is a fucking relief, first of all, but josephine is genuinely so lovely and thoughtful while also being very savvy. her romance is a butch fantasy

5. morrigan. she’s hot, she’s goth, and she should have been gay. her whole “i know more about ancient elves than any of you” shtick in inquisition gets old though

6. zevran. oh i love him. lovable, smooth-talking rogue who’s also kind of stupid but very sweet on the inside

7. fenris. we regret to inform you i love the gideon emery character. also his deadpan remarks are really funny, and even though he “supports” the templars it’s less about supporting them than disliking/fearing mages for extremely understandable reasons

LIKE TIER

8. varric. cool gangster bff who becomes everyone’s exhausted uncle. should have been romanceable

9. vivienne. SPEAKING OF CHARACTERS WHO SHOULD HAVE BEEN ROMACEABLE. vivienne is witty, sharp, clever, thoughtful, funny, incredibly warm if you’re her friend, hilariously sarcastic if you’re her enemy. she’s politically engaged and doesn’t even leave the party if she hates you because she believes in the cause, which earns my respect. her take on the mage/templar conflict is more nuanced than other dragon age circle mages, like Grandma Wynne. everyone respect and love vivienne or i’ll kill you

10. iron bull. hilarious that hes voiced by freddie prinze jr. cool take on a qunari character, though i wish his character arc hadnt ended with a narrative condemnation of the qun (considering he turns on you in trespasser if you sided with the qunari, and he feels happier/freer if you side with the chargers)

11. shale. very funny and powerful. didnt realize she wasnt a free dlc so i didnt have her in my first run, a deep regret

12. cole. spooky empath boy who speaks in alliterations. i love empath characters who are a shade shy of sane, and he makes champion of the just an outstanding quest choice

13. sigrun. perky goth dwarf ex-rogue with a heart of gold, of fucking course i love her. only wish she had more material and also that awakening wasnt glitched to hell and back and also boring/sucky

14. bethany. again, soft spot for genuine sweethearts. she doesnt really get outside the “protag’s sweet little sister” trope which is unfortunate. circle mage bethany is my canon bethany but i actually like hardened gray warden bethany more

15. wynne. grandma. refreshing to see an older woman as a companion in a video game whose age isnt her defining trait. otherwise kind of one note

16. dorian. god dorian would be so, so much higher on this list (gay, funny, nuanced) if it werent for that conversation you can have with him about him never thinking about slavery as a problem. its absolutely infuriating and terrible terrible writing to give a gay character of color that kind of dialogue

NEUTRAL / DECENT TIER

17. cassandra. shes hot. stern. not a big fan of her templar stuff but i still like her decently

18. velanna. grey delisle voicing her makes her sound kind of cartoony but i still like her. wish she’d had more material

19. merrill. manic pixie dream girl to the max, and i found her romance meh.

20. alistair. funny, nonthreatening, but annoying in the way he dodges responsibility

21. sten. i genuinely like sten he just doesnt like, have much going on. also the Stoic Warrior from Exotic Lands is so fucking played out

22. nathaniel. no real feelings about him whatsoever

DISLIKE / HATRED TIER

23. solas. solas is an abusive condescending motherfucker, but i also really enjoy his plot in the story. i hate him but hes high on the hate list because, unlike some of the other characters, i like his presence in the game if that makes sense. the solavellan romance sucks so much though, hes really like a predatory professor grooming his student

24. blackwall. boring. my dwarf inquisitor is close to him though so i put him a little higher on the list

25. carver. idk why people think the “annoying little brother who is constantly picking a fight with you” type of character is deep?

26. aveline. shes a cop. when you talk to her about your mother’s horrible death she goes on a tangent about the death of her own father. like. ok. thanks

27. anders. the way he treats fenris is inexcusable. people hate anders for the wrong reasons. hes not wrong for caring about mage rights; hes wrong for caring about HIS OWN freedom at the cost of OTHERS’ freedom. you get friendship points from him if you send fenris back to his SLAVE MASTER. evil, evil dude. unpopular opinion but i dont like him in awakening either, hes an annoying womanizer. hes only this high on the list because i have enough opinions about him to have feelings about him

28. cullen. uuuuugggggggghhhhhhhhh.

29. loghain. i started reading the stolen throne and you literally could not pay me to give a single shit about him

30. oghren. misogynistic bastard of hell

UNRANKED

dog (i love my dog but he’s not, like. a character.)

sebastian (never got the dlc)

justice (haven’t gotten to him in awakening yet. guess this post is a bit premature but i honestly dont know if/when im going to finish awakening tbh)