#oh god could they be SHORTS?? I have erased shorts from my YouTube experience so I genuinely don't know lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

amphii-writes · 4 years

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Random Haikyuu Head Canons I Have

these are all taken from my discord server cause i remember to write them there, if you want to request fanfics, my requests are W I D E open! there is also nO order! these are just all the headcanons i could find tbh

warnings: mentions of blood, and just overall wild times, swearing

Asahi loves knitting sweaters because his shoulders are broad and he also loves seeing the reactions from his teammates when they get a sweater from him! He says he buys them but he doesn’t

Aone likes knitting socks because he has big feet and he loves fluffy knee high socks but his team will never know

Asahi and Aone regularly hang out and knit together! (after asahi wasnt scared of him anyways)

Nishinoya gives you shiny rocks he finds because “your eyes shine like them!”

Yamaguchi likes to have your head rest on his chest while cuddling!

Aone likes to bake

Aone dressed like a polar bear because koganegawa told him to- halloween was amazing

daICHI HAS A KISS THE COOK APRON

Daichi secretly can make some kick ass steak and is amazing at grilling sorry

Okay but real talk, Kenma and Yaku swear like sailors and it scares everyone because they always whisper the most foul, insulting things under their breath. Hearing it is like seeing a cryptid

Speaking of cryptids, Fukunaga and Shibayama are THE most true crime, mythology, and mystery obsessed fanatics on the team and often fanboy about it together

Fukunaga’s obsession with moth man has gotten to an unhealthy stage

Kenma absolutely had a vampire phase and has read twilight. Only Kuroo knows and has sworn to secrecy via blood pact

Kuroo’s a musical nerd. Knows all of the lyrics to Hamilton, BMC, DEH, Heathers, Rent, Beetlejuice, Etc. Kenma considered dropping him because of it

Iwaizumi tells the worst dad jokes and Kyotani, wanting to beat him, started doing it too and it drives everyone insane

Yahaba and Matsukawa get along surprisingly well. Both are true crime freaks and bond over their forensic files obsessions

Matsukawa didn’t really like his thick eyebrows so he got one of his female friends to pluck it for him, but almost cried and gave up after the first hair. Oikawa called him a pussy for the next year

Hanamaki jokingly flirts with everyone on the team so most of them just got used to it, but it still confuses Kindaichi to the point of mental breakdown

Makki called Kyotani ‘puppy’ as a joke once and now mad dog is truly terrified of him

Kyotani’s dog absolutely ADORES Oikawa and it’s the funniest shit to the rest of the team

Mattsun and Makki play DnD and once convinced Yahaba and Kyotani to join. Kyotani kept rolling to fight everyone and Yahaba was a bard that kept rolling to seduce everyone. They kept yelling across the board so they had to kick them out

Outside of his school uniform, Goshiki specifically wears only plaid

Tendou makes little chocolates for the whole team every once in a while so they don’t think he’s scary

Semi and Shirabu once had a fistfight in an abandoned McDonald’s parking lot while Tendou filmed and Goshiki cheered them on

Everybody makes fun of Shirabu’s haircut but nobody dares to say it to his face. its gotten to the point where they say he got it done by a blind old lady

There’s a running joke about Shirabu also getting his haircut from prison but Goshiki is starting to suspect that it may not be a joke

Yamagata and Tendou are good friends with the mutual goal of collecting as much blackmail on their team as possible

Tendou loves animals generally considered to be ‘ugly’ like rats, crows, reptiles, etc.

80% of Goshiki’s playlist is shit overplayed on the radio. Him, Shirabu, Tendou, Kawanishi and Ushijima have a permanent ban from the aux cord

Nobody watches YouTube with Ushijima because he never skips the damn ads (other than tendou)

Suna once said y’all’dn’t’ve unironically and made a first year cry

Akagi once said UwU unironically and had an identity crisis.

Osamu has one of those rainbow gaming keyboards and is constantly on a discord call. Atsumu always yells weird shit in the background to embarrass him and once pretended to be him

During Seijoh group chat arguments. Hanamaki and Mattsukawa like to drop facebook minion memes in just to piss everyone off even more

mattsun and maki both have separate photo albums in their phones labelled ‘minion memes to piss everyone off’

Hinata carries a pocket knife and no one has no fucking idea why

mattsun and maki both have matching rat fursuits that look like they actually where in a sewer- they chased oikawa around

For all his talk of plant analogies and metaphors, Ushijima cant grow shit

Goshiki’s Bangs are the way they are because his favorite character was Rock Lee from Naruto

Oikawa has watched Ouran High School Host Club front to back so many times and he can quote all of Tamaki’s lines by heart -He keeps bothering Iwaizumi to “be his Haruhi, since you’re shorter than me”

Koganegawa has definitely gone as an Angry Bird for Halloween

Fukunaga has those reflective cat eyes, and he has terrified Yamamoto on several occasion

Hanamaki and Matsukawa have a teddy bear that they pretend is their child and they share custody

Suga always sprays whipped cream straight into his mouth whenever he sees a can

Nishinoya definitely bit people as a kid

Nishinoya would be the guy to wear shorts all year round and even if it's snowing, he'll insist he's not cold

Tendou is still stuck in his emo phase and would fangirl over Creepypasta with me and I appreciate that (me too buddy, me fuckin too)

Kyoutani LOOKS like he’d listen to viking death metal, but in reality he listens to Mother Mother and knows all the words to Ghosting

Sugawara would definitely encourage me to dumb shit and not stop me, and you’re all dumb for thinking he wouldn’t

KENMA IS NOT ‘uwu owo’ SHY, HE IS ‘your fucking gross’ SHY SO LITERALLY STFU

Bokuto listens to Nicki Manaj. And knows all the words. To every. Single. Song.

Ushijima for some reason knows an odd amount of 90′s-2000′s R&B and he will hum along to the songs if they come on the radio (he also loves Dolly Parton) ((he says he relates to her music))

Bokuto once ate instant ramen for an entire month

TERUSHIMA DID TRY TO FUCK A PLANT WHILE SHITFACED AND GOD I STAND BY WHAT I SAID

atsumu let’s you put makeup on him and pretends to eat the brushes (do yk what im talking about- like n o m)

tendou ran for school president as a joke but actually won

i 100% believe that all of karasuno’s third years apologize when they bump into inanimate objects, but when suga is really tired or stressed out, he’ll yell at them instead.

Tanaka, Nishinoya, and Taketora have a group chat called "Bros who want sum hoes" and they send each other hypebeast memes and shit

Sugawara knows how to do a bunch of flexible shit because he sometimes goes to yoga with daichi and asahi's moms, its fucking hilarious

tanaka and noya both breakdance- they work as a team and sometimes go to tokyo for underground competitions- saeko drives them

Daichi knows a little ballet- nobody other than Kiyoko knows because they saw each other at the ballet class and had to work together- dont tell tanaka and noya that he lifted her though

Osamu once put glitter on Atsumu's pillow- he still finds hot pink glitter on shit

kita knits and crochets with his grandma

Kita's grandma knows everyone's names because kita talks shit bout them, her favorite is Aran

Kuroo has burnt his eyebrows off doing an experiment. His goggles didn't cover all his brows,,, so he just showed up to practice like that. No eyebrows and a chemical burn

kenma has played all kinds of games, but he was dared to play corpse party by kuroo. He wasn't scared because of the gore, he was thinking about the trauma the characters went through. Punched kuroo the next day because that game was fucked up

Lev isn't a strong swimmer, so he often grabs people by the head to keep himself up. happened with kenma and lev couldn't walk due to the force of kenmas suprised water kicks

akaashi has those fancy pens that you have to dip in ink and they're so nice

Bokuto has and will eat pencil erasers again

Daichi once almost lost his shit at his team but instead he lost his shit at the door that decided to stub his toe on the way out of the gym. not the best thing to be found yelling to.

Yamaguchi for sure has been dragged to one of terushimas parties because he didnt wanna say no. oh and terushima has like frat boy level parties too. Yams has for sure had some wild nights and doubts anyone other than Tsukishima and the party-goers will ever know

Akaashi can actually flirt very well! He reads romance novels sometimes and has analyzed any and every book in his possession! so he's actually quite charming

Daihsou unironically posted on twitter after mika broke up with him "I still see her shadows in my room"

Mattsun and Maki run a fake oikawa account; its been going ever since twitter even started getting popular and they even started sending messages in spanish. The posts would range from "I love all my fans!" to flirting with them :) Oikawa is pissed cause the account got verified before he did and most of his fans also follow the fake oikawa. Tooru has no idea who runs it JUST IMAGINE OIKAWA JUST LIKE RANTING TO THE SEIJOH 3RD YEAR ALUMNI AND JUST "no Iwa-chan, you dont understand! they run a fake account and pretend to be me!" while makki and mattsun laugh their asses off

Oh, kenma for sure has pretended to be a girl on discord and has gotten someone to buy him stuff. after they do he says in his normal voice "fucking simp" and then hangs up and blocks the other persons discord

Yamamoto, despite his rough appearance, loves kids and has and will be a human jungle gym

suna in middle school had a game with his friends about who could make kids cry the fastest

The twins switched places back in middle school and nobody could tell because of how great they are at acting like eachother

Daichi once arrested coach ukai for public intoxication after a game :|

Daichi has arrested many people from his old volleyball team but the most memorable case was when he arrested tanaka and noya for reckless driving. poor idiots got so scared when they saw their old captains face in their mirror and started to pray

tanaka, while trying to intimidate someone, once said "You dont gotta tell me twice, i may be straight but these hands are bisexual" and he often cringes at night thinking about it

Kageyama, as a comeback to Tsukishima, said "one thing about us royalty is that we love to feast" and he also fuckin hates what he said

the third years made a cult for Kiyoko. they chant every wednesday "i'll do anything for kiyoko, she makes me go loco"

oikawas fangirls are known to be fucking rabid

yAMAMOTO AND KENMA AFTER THEIR FIGHT WERE FORCED BY KUROO TO MAKE IT UP: so they dyed their hair together

Makki and mattsun sang two trucks in front of the entire team. everyone was so confused. Makki: "twO TRUCKS HAVIN SEX!!" Mattsun: "oH yEs!"THEY'D SWITCH OFF AND HAVE LIKE CHOREOGRAPHY TOO LIKE THEY'D DO A TANGO WHILE THE SONG IS LIKE "two beer trucks, making love"

tendou once called Oikawa "mr. no-nationals" and got kicked in the shins before iwaizumi could save him

Tsukishima had a my little pony phase

you work with matsukawa at a morgue and he makes dead people jokes while you fix some dead guys face with wax and makeup he'd be like "so didnt he like,,, stick his head out of the sunroof of a moving fuckin car??" he'd be singing dumb ways to die the entire day

i feel like Kuroo has one crazy accident a year. like it might not be deadly but its fucking crazy like for example: Kuroo for sure has ridden in a shopping cart at past midnight with kenma (who pushed him down a hill) causing Kuroo to get scratched up hella well. he lied and said he spent the night with a girl and kenma fucking hated himself cause he would be the girl if that was true

Mattsun has flirted with the 4th years moms before (AS A JOKE), and because of this: he is known as “fuckin milf hunter” sometimes by the team

Warning, this next headcanon is talking about cannabis, weed, mary jane, the zoink root. so if your uncomfortable, please dont read below :)

dude i wanna get high as SHIT with Asahi

i think Asahi would be one of those mfkers who takes one hit and is gone

ASAHI ACCIDENTALLY GOING TO PRACTICE ZOINKED

IMAGINE HIM SEEING TSUKISHIMA AND JUST "he looks so judgemental,,, im scared"

OR LIKE A MAD DAICHI AND JUST "i'm gonna,,, im gonna go jump out the window now"

Noya and Tanaka would know tho, i feel like they'd have a 6th sense when it comes to weed. they probably get some from Saeko cause she'd rather they do it in the house. they'd smell asahi like fucking dogs and just so,,, big guy had fun without us huh?

DAICHI WOULD KNOW ABOUT ASAHI BEING ZOINKED, SMASH HIS FACE INTO THE WALL, TURN AROUND WITH A RED MARK ON HIS FOREHEAD AND WITH A BEAMING SMILE AND FEUX ENTHUSIASM SAY: "YOSH, LETS WARM UP!"

#haikyuu #hq #haikyuu!!#haikyuu crack #haikyuu boys #haikyuu x reader #haikyū!!#haikyu x reader

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ohkiyo · 4 years

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characters: shiratorizawa team and reader.

warnings: a bit of cursing.

word count: 3.6k

a/n: shoutout to cloud anon for giving me such marvelous ideas, each one you sent were all so funny it just made my day even better. I do hope you’ll like this one, I got a bit excited to post this, so please don’t mind the mistakes hahaha nor any of the grammatical errors. :D

music I listened to while writing this:

ようかい体操第一 | Dream5

morning smile | nom tunes

your happiness is my happiness | nom tunes

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shiratorizawa navigation || stth navigation

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“What’s the answer on number 4?” Yamagata scratched his head with his pencil, staring at his exercise paper on the table, the numbers not making any sense to him anymore. He could feel his fingers starting to hurt from the amount of times he had been pressing the buttons of his calculator, but he could still not find the answer he was looking for, the calculator’s screen displaying syntax error.

“It’s 126.76” Reon replied, not looking up from his own paper as he concentrates on his own set of problems. It had been easy, the first few questions were doable, nothing out of the ordinary, however, when he reached numbers 10 and above he swore the teacher was high when he made that exercise.

I mean, what’s the point of making a multiple choice question when the answer is not even in the choices.

“What? I thought it was 116” now Semi was starting to get even more frustrated, he was sure his answer was correct, he even searched up a tutorial on YouTube on how to solve that particular equation.

“You need to add the 10, not subtract it” Shirabu corrected, as Semi erased his current answer and started replacing it with the right one. Mumbling to himself how the fuck is calculus useful in the real world, you don’t see people adding a and b to buy a sack of rice, nor finding x to purchase fruits in the market.

Math is ridiculous; he hopes that whoever invented this shit suffers in hell.

“Let’s rest for now” Ushijima suggested, closing his notebook as he rested his pencil on top of it. Aware of just how everyone was getting stressed.

“Where did Satori go?” Semi looks around the room, noticing that the redhead had disappeared. “Taichi and Tsutomu too”

“They went out to go get food”

“They did?”

Yamagata nodded his head, lazily going through the books stacked on top of Tendou’s desk, most of them were manga that he had read and re-read, while the others were borrowed books from the library that he had never bothered to return.

There was a knock on the door, as Semi who was the closest, stood and opened it to reveal the people they have been looking for a while ago.

“We’re back!” Tendou announced cheerily, a tupperware in his hands as he entered the room, followed by Kawanishi, Goshiki and someone unfamiliar.

“Who’s that?” Shirabu pointed, raising a questioning brow at the person’s choice of clothing. An oversized sweater, shorts that reach below their knees and a swan patterned socks.

“What do you mean? That’s (Y/n)” you lift your hand up in a wave, the sweater’s long sleeve covering your own arm. A wide smile on your face, as you sat down on the floor along with them, Semi closing the door and locking it.

“What?”

No words left their mouth as they stared at you, you looked pretty convincing as a boy, the wig you wore accentuated your face just right. However, did Tendou really have you wear a wig that was an exact replica of Goshiki’s signature bowl-cut? Of all the millions of hairstyles he could choose from, really?

“Did you just smuggle her in?” Reon asks in disbelief. “How did you do it?”

“(Y/n)’s so small nobody noticed her” you swat Kawanishi with your sweater sleeve as he snickered, ruffling your hair before opening the bag you brought with you. Taking out different containers full of food, plates, chopsticks and other eating utensils.

“Where’d you get all these from? Did you order take-out?” Semi took a bite of the chicken strip, humming in satisfaction at the delicious taste, before taking another piece.

“(Y/n) was stress cooking again” Goshiki answered as he helped Ushijima clear the table, with you carefully placing the foods in the middle and Shirabu spreading the utensils on the table.

“Are you having problems with your academics again (Y/n)?” Ushijima inquired, pouring himself a glass of water as everyone situated themselves around the table, offering their thanks and serving themselves with the food you cooked.

“I have an oral recitation tomorrow and I’m worried I’ll mess it up” you replied, biting on your chopstick. “The subject teacher isn’t very nice either, I’m scared of her”

“Who’s the teacher?”

“Tachibana-sensei”

Hearing the familiar name, both third years and second years involuntarily shuddered. Memories of their days as her students resurface, the struggle they experienced trying to hold onto the thin thread keeping their grades up were a bit traumatic.

Tachibana-sensei was the kind of teacher that students hate the most, she enjoys giving surprises, surprise quiz, surprise recitation, heck, even her exams are a surprise. It’s rare for her to even give her students the time to fully study their material, and for those who were under her knows that when she does, she’ll be firing questions one after the other, until her students are unable to give her answers leaving her disappointed.

“May the gods be in your favor (Y/n)” Tendou clapped a hand on your shoulder as he gave you a sympathetic smile. His eyes silently telling you ‘You’re screwed’

Goshiki noticed the look of terror flashed on your face, your hand shaking out of pure nervousness as you almost spilled the food on your plate. Does Tachibana-sensei really have that kind of reputation? He never had her as his subject teacher in any of his classes, well for now at least, but he sure is thankful, he didn’t need that kind of problem in his first year of high school.

“Don’t scare her” Semi hits Tendou with a notebook, scolding him for scaring you as you now sat there frozen, your mind going through the possible outcomes that might happen tomorrow.

“You’ll be fine, don’t worry about it. You’re smart” Shirabu’s words of encouragement did help you relax a little, but the fear still lingered in your mind. You felt something prodding at your lips, you focused your eyes in front of you to see Kawanishi holding up a piece of chicken near your mouth.

“Eat first, I can help you with it later” He says in between mouthfuls as you open your mouth, accepting the food. Nodding at his offer.

You will worry about your demon of a teacher later, for now, you’re going to enjoy your food.

“By the way Satori, I saw this earlier” Yamagata pulled out a scrapbook from under the stacks of manga on the desk. The front cover is littered with stickers, and doodles, a very Tendou-esque kind of design.

"Oh that's where I’ve compiled the photos I took, I’ve just started so it’s not done yet" Tendou answered, watching as Yamagata opened the scrapbook, and going through the pictures. "Photography's my newfound hobby now"

"That photography workshop was only once, I didn't know you actually took it seriously"

"It’s a form of art Eita-kun" the red head held up a finger, going on and on about how it captures all the once in a lifetime moments we experience, and how pictures hold the memories they make together.

Tendou started getting sappy with his explanation, Semi had to shove an onigiri in his mouth to stop him from talking.

"Do you have a soft copy of these pictures Tendou?" Ushijima questioned, reading through the captions Tendou pasted around each photo. "I need a copy"

"I'll send it to you later Wakatoshi-kun"

"You have another one?" Shirabu held another scrapbook in his hand. "How many do you have?"

"I have three" Shirabu flipped through the pages of the one he's holding, noticing that most of the pictures were of the second years in the club, but majority of them were of him and Kawanishi.

"Where's the other one?"

Tendou patted around in his bed for a moment, feeling for the familiar hard bound of the scrapbook before he finally found it resting under his backpack.

"These are pictures of the first years" You became interested, peeking over Semi's shoulder as he flipped through the pages. "Oh I remember this one."

It was a picture of both you and Goshiki asleep inside the bus, your head resting on his shoulder and his head resting over your own. A jacket covering your bodies acting as a blanket. Below there was a text saying, The babies first away game.

"Tendou-san, we're not babies anymore." Goshiki reasoned but Tendou refused to agree to the first year.

"Oh hush, in my eyes you two are still babies." to emphasize his point, Tendou squished both your and Goshiki's cheek. Grinning at the pout now resting on your face. "See? Just adorable!"

"You're playing favorites, you know" Reon watches as Tendou continues to coddle the two youngest members in their group. The both of you trying to get away from Tendou refuse to let go.

Semi flipped to another page, this time there was a picture of you and him. Both of you standing near the grill as he teaches you how to properly cook meat, while you eagerly wait by the sides, all the while watching the meat being grilled on top of the fire. Eyes almost sparkling at how mouthwatering it is. At the bottom another caption was written, baby’s first barbecue.

"I think I found my new favorite" Semi looked up from the photobook he's holding, to Tendou still gushing over Goshiki and (Y/n). "Satori, send me a soft copy of this one"

"Roger!"

Finally, after almost thirty minutes both you and Goshiki were finally able to push the red head away as you all clean up the dirty dishes, throwing away the plastics and food crumbs into the trash can. Then resuming to their study session.

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The next day, morning practice was starting a bit later than usual so the gym was still half empty, the only occupants were the regulars who decided to come early and do their own pre-practice warm ups. Semi was doing his usual jump serves with Yamagata receiving the balls to practice more on his digs. While on the other net, Shirabu was practicing with Goshiki after some begging from the first-year’s side.

You watch as Semi spins a ball on his hands, licking his lips, something he does whenever he’s trying to pinpoint where he wants the ball to land before throwing it in the air and jumping. Cringing at the sound of his palm colliding with the ball and watching as Yamagata runs to receive it.

“That was by the line!” your eyes went wide in awe, running to retrieve the ball and jogging back to Semi’s side of the net. As Yamagata let out a sigh wiping his sweat with his shirt.

“That’s the kind of serve that will annoy you the most”

Semi bounce the ball a few times, before pausing and turning to you. “Do you want to try (Y/n)?”

You nodded your head, eager to learn from one of the best servers in your team. You always find them very cool whenever they do those awesome spikes and jump serves. To you, they look like they’re flying whenever they jump so high, you were feeling a bit envious about it.

Standing beside Semi, he explained to you how to angle your hand properly and the timing of when to hit the ball.

“What’s your dominant hand?”

You lift up your left hand and said “This one”

“Oh? You’re a lefty [1] too?” the both of you turn to look at the ace to see that he had started listening as well “Just like Wakatoshi”

“Try doing a normal serve for now” standing by the service line, you readied your position, as Yamagata took a receiving stance at the other side of the net.

“Give it all you’ve got (Y/n)-chan!”

You nodded your head, throwing the ball, watching it before hitting it with your hand as hard as you can, which was a lot for a newbie. Yamagata dove to get the ball, the object bouncing off his arm and shooting off to the side.

“One point for (Y/n)!” you heard Tendou’s voice from the other side of the gym as Semi applauds your good work. You started feeling giddy, hitting that ball was so satisfying you feel like the stress you were currently having this morning was starting to ease just a little bit.

“Do it again (Y/n)-chan!” Goshiki’s voice reached your ears as he abandoned Shirabu, who let out a sigh of relief, finally able to take the rest he had been wanting.

“How about a jump serve?” Ushijima suggested, as he too walked to your group, now interested in your new found talent.

Semi twirled the ball in his hand, biting the inside of his cheek. “That one’s a bit tricky Wakatoshi”

“She can do it” Ushijima turns to look at you as Goshiki keeps on slapping your back, getting excited for some reason, and honestly, you were excited as well. Ushijima rarely shows this kind of interest, so for someone who only learned the basics of volleyball through reading the manual and watching it, it was a shock for you.

“Can I?” you ask, your eyes sparkling “It never hurts to try”

Now, with you looking at him like that, how could Semi say no? you just look so cute he really has to stop himself from pinching those cheeks of yours.

“Alright, but I think Wakatoshi can teach you better” Semi threw the ball to Ushijima who nodded his head, wordlessly taking his position at the serving line. You watch how he handles the ball, you don’t even know if there’s a difference with righties serving compared to the lefties, but you paid attention anyways. Watching him run, jump and hit the ball as hard as he can.

Semi just sighed, Ushijima didn’t even say anything, he just did what he normally did. As if expecting you to learn something from it. But then again, Ushijima did the same thing to Goshiki once when the first-year asked how to improve his line shots, he can’t judge too soon.

Bouncing the ball a few times, you threw it in the air watching as you slowly run before jumping and serving it to the other side, the ball hitting the back line.

“Two points!” Everyone cheered for you, the others sporting surprise looks on their face. Jump serves were very hard to do, most would normally be hitting the net or the ball going out of bounce. But you, just one look at a live sample and voila, success.

“Do it again, (Y/n)-chan! This time I’ll make sure to receive it!” you grin at Yamagata’s challenge, doing the same thing you did the first time. You hit the ball with the hardest one you could muster. Watching as it spins fast, going past Yamagata and narrowly hitting Coach Saito in the face.

The coach blinks, frozen on his spot as he silently thanks whatever deities that decided to grace him with their blessings. Everyone was quiet, shocked at what just happened. He turned his head, his eyes scanning whoever was the culprit of his near death experience only to see you standing at the service line.

“I-I think that’s enough for now” he cleared his throat, tucking the clipboard he’s holding under his arms “Let’s prepare for practice”

You all nodded your head, gathering the stray balls and tossing them into the basket, mopping up the sweat that dropped on the floor as the rest of the members started piling into the gym.

Practice went by pretty fast, Coach Washijou had to cut it short because exam week was approaching and according to the school rule book, extracurricular activities must be shortened in order to give the students more time to study.

They were currently having their post practice snacks, filling their hungry stomach with some delicious food as they rest their body. Practice may have been short but it doesn’t mean Coach Washijou made it easy, in fact, he made it even harder.

You were sitting cross legged on the floor, finishing up the notes you were writing earlier, sipping on a juice box you brought with you while your other hand moved across the white pages of your notebook.

Seeing as your pen was running out of ink, you placed your juice box on the floor then reaching over for your bag to retrieve another one. Just as you were about to take another sip of your drink, it slipped from your grasp, landing on your lap, its contents spilling over your notes.

“Motherfucker” you were too focused cleaning yourself up that you didn’t hear Semi’s dramatic gasp, the curse that left your lips was foreign to his ears as he had never heard you say such a vulgar word before.

“Uh-oh”

Those who were closest to the door quietly slipped out, they knew what was coming next, and they’re not going to be a part of it. The coaches watched from the sidelines as Semi started lecturing them about their choices of words, reminding them that no swear words allowed in the presence of the first years.

Washijou-sensei shot his assistant a look, eyebrows raised “It was you, wasn’t it?”

Coach Saito sheepishly scratches his cheek, as he remembers how the swear word left his lips yesterday when he hit his hip at the side of the table. Not realizing that you were standing outside, ready to give to him the report he requested.

He didn’t even know that such a thing was forbidden within the club, he quickly reminded himself to watch his language the next time the first years were around, he doesn’t want Semi going all mama mode again.

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Lunch was spent eating together in the cafeteria, sitting at their usual table as they enjoyed the break from their tiring classes. Although the dining area was pretty rowdy, it did serve as a distraction from whatever their teachers prepared for their afternoon sessions.

“Today’s korokke has shrimp in it” Tendou took another bite of the fried dish, the food still hot and fresh. “Yummy”

“But…” Kawanishi started, his eyes shifting over to you as you munch on your own piece of korokke “(Y/n)’s allergic to shrimp”

The table went quiet as they all looked at you, they didn’t know that, why didn’t you tell them?

“Oh my god, her allergy is reacting” Semi stood up from his seat as red dots started to appear on your face, you gave the remaining korokke to Goshiki as you scratch your arm, your whole body feeling itchy.

“Let’s take her to the infirmary”

They quickly led you to the nurse’s office, the red dots that were just around your mouth had now spread all over your face. Looking as if you had just contacted chicken pox.

Thankfully, the nurse was still in her office when they arrived so you were immediately given some medicine to stop your allergy from becoming worse.

“You’ll have to go back to your room and take a rest for the rest of the day, then come back tomorrow again so I could give you another check-up. Alright?”

She handed you the excuse note for you to give to your teachers the next day as you stood up from your seat, thanking the nurse then exiting the room to see that the boys had waited for you outside.

“So, what did she say?”

“I’m excused from my classes this afternoon” you showed them the paper the nurse gave you. Shirabu reading through what she wrote, Kawanishi reading the paper’s contents from over his shoulder.

“I need one too”

“Why? are you sick?”

“No, I just want to skip class today”

Semi sighs at what the middle blocker just said, if anything, Kawanishi was definitely the laziest among them all. Always looking for ways to avoid any activities he finds energy consuming, Semi was quite surprised Kawanishi had not tried sending their coach a fake medical certificate just so he could skip practice for a few days.

Oh wait, he did, and he got away with it.

“You look like a tomato” Goshiki pokes you on the cheek, the redness slowly fading but your face still slightly swollen. “Tomato-chan~”

Tendou grinned at the cute nickname, tomato-chan? He was so going to start calling you that from now on.

“Oh wait (Y/n), let me take a picture of you first. This would be a great addition to my scrapbook” Tendou patted his pockets for his phone but he felt none. “Eh?”

“What’s wrong?”

“I think I left my phone in the cafeteria” Tendou answered, slipping his hand inside his pockets for good measure, but the device was nowhere to be found. “Reon let me borrow your phone for a bit”

Reon shook his head “I left mine in the cafeteria as well”

“What?!” Tendou turned to look at the rest of the members as they too shook their heads.

You chuckled, patting his back “Guess there won’t be any funny photos of me for the time being” you started walking away waving at them. “See you tomorrow”

They waved back as they went back to the cafeteria, until a phone ringing cut through the silence. Ushijima stops in his tracks, fishing the phone from his pocket as he realizes that he forgot he brought it along with him the whole time.

“Wakatoshi-kun, why didn’t you tell me you had your phone with you?”

“I apologize Tendou, do you still want to take that photo?”

They turned their heads to the direction you left but you weren’t there anymore. Tendou’s shoulder slump, the opportunity to finally have a derpy picture of you gone and would probably be far into the future.

Yamagata just let out a laugh. “It seems like the goddess Kichijoten [2] favors (Y/n) more than anyone else”

«──────────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────────────»

[1] I’m a lefty so yeah, self promo I guess lol.

[2] she’s the Japanese goddess of beauty.

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu oneshot #ushijima wakatoshi #semi eita #tendou satori #yamagata hayato #oohira reon #shirabu kenjirou #kawanishi taichi #goshiki tsutomu #shiratorizawa

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valla-chan · 4 years

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65 Questions You Aren't Used To answered by ME

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

Sometimes, but it always goes away fairly quickly.

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

3, im not actively afraid of the dark itself but it can exacerbate paranoias

3. The person you would never want to meet?

The guy on reddit with like 100 different parasites he spreads to people around him

4. What is your favorite word?

Catgirl or Ghost maybe idk

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

Monterey Cypress

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

Oh my god my hair is so fucked, i look dead in the face too

7. What shirt are you wearing?

gray longesleev :)

8. What do you label yourself as?

gray-ace trans girl who is probably actually nonbinary but ignores that for the sake of simplicity

9. Bright room or dark room?

dark

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

in a voice call watching my friend stream hl2: lost coast

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

19-20

12. Who told you they loved you last?

gf :)

13. Your worst enemy?

congress republicans

14. What is your current desktop picture?

I have 3, and currently all of them are on images of hatsune miku

15. Do you like someone?

mhm

16. The last song you listened to?

No Children - The Mountain Goats

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

Mitch McConnell

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

Donald Trump

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

A clone of myself, who i would make work on my portal mod lul

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

My hair perhaps

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

I dont know if this would make me male, female, or a trans man!

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

Getting people to like me when i want them to, i guess? It sounds manipulative but if you dont use it to manipulate people, and you dont always do it (because sometimes you dont want the person to like you), then is it?

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

I am afraid that my perception of other things is inaccurate and eventually i will realize that people around me regard me as someone who is very much detached from objective reality.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

Crab+lobster mix, avocado, cheese, caramelized onions, bacon, sourdough bread, basil+a bit of garlic, and probably other stuff i cant think of.... oh and sunchips stuffed inside that i could pull out and eat.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

Save it!!

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

California!

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

1) If you die we eat you

29. What is your favorite expletive?

simply saying the word KILL!

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

My computer :( it would cause the most extreme impact to have it be destroyed. i would feel terrible about everything else though

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

I’d rather not say.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

sounds awful :(

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

My kitty :(

34. What was your last dream about?

I was playing a hidden level in Frogger: the Great Quest but then @ sleepysoul DM’d me to ask what my newest video was about cause she was weirded out by it, and i went to my youtube channel to find this bizarre video about crab-catching, which slowly descended into this video showing bizarre and cosmic horrors. For some reason i thought i uploaded it and tried to defend the video, but i could not explain it

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

I am a good 3d modeler, texturer, game mapper, and other things that have to do with digital 3d artstuff

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

yes

38. What is the color of your socks?

All of mine are tan or dark blue. super lame and boring

39. What type of music do you like?

Most currently, it fluctuates between “weirdcore” type aesthetic playlists of music, and anything Vocaloid.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

Sunrises, because im usually not awake for them so they are extra special

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

strawberry maybe

43. Do you have any scars?

One on the side of my butt where i tore it open on the bathtub faucet, one on my elbow from a bike accident, and

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

I dropped out :(

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

my cheekbones and eyebrow ridge stick out so weirdly, id make it not look like that

46. Are you reliable?

on small things? yes. on big things? nope, not in the least.

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

Have you finally gotten out of this rut and found happiness and success?

48. Do you hold grudges?

i kinda do but try not to

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

Catgirl

51. Are you a good liar?

only when im not trying to.

52. How long could you go without talking?

consecutively, maybe a fourth of a day

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

short.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

I’ve helped, but never done it myself!

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

Oh, believe me, no. But i do it anyway because its objectively hilarious

56. What do you like on your toast?

Not beans.

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

Miku :) (it turned out so badly i scrapped it)

58. What would be you dream car?

Golden Leopard Print Golf Cart

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

I lie down as to not pass out (and cause warmn wotter....)

60. Do you believe in aliens?

[redacted]

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

never

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

E? (it has a nice synesthetic color)

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

Dinos

64. What do you think about babies?

gremlins. strange beings. they are very strange and creepy-ish but can be cute but RARELY. keep away.

#thast me #i was boared sooo

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sweetrosetta-martin · 4 years

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Beatle tag (cause why not ✌💗)

I’m new to this fandom online, so what best way to present myself but doing this (plz don't kill me guys I come in peace).

But I do have to give an special to @sgt-revolver cause thanks to their post I decided to do it.

How long have you been a fan ?: About two years if I’m not wrong, but god it has been two intense ones. Long story short, this band never was part of my life (grew up in a different culture) until the day I was reading some fanfiction in AO3 and stumbled across one about them. I then found out they were the guys behind “Let it be” and “Here comes the sun” so I decided do dig even deeper..... (Now I’m here simping and crying to their music at 2am) 🙃

Favorite Beatle: Used to be Paul (man got a charm) but when I better discovered George as a hole human being, and not only a Beatle, I went 💥. Tho, sometimes I do get frustrated with him and stay on John’s side cause he was lowkey relatable and a big bi-disaster mood. (I suddenly feel bad for Rings.... srry bro )

Favorite era for music: At the beginning I didn't like the mop top era and practically only listened from Help! to then end, but now I appreciate each period as a part of the band’s musical history and can’t help to fangirl to most songs. (Tho I’ll always have a soft spot for 1966)

Favorite era for lewks: Each Beatles had its own I think. Ringo as a teddy boy (he looks like the bad boy of your dreams), George in 65` (longer hair but not to long and just overlay hotness) and Paul/John in 66`. (The perfect balance between early and late looks)

Favorite song: Guess it depends on my mood, but it’s surely a tight between “Strawberry fields forever”, “Happiness is a warm gun”, “Lovely Rita” “While my guitar gently weeps”, “Don't bother me” and “Across the universe”. (This is such an unfair question xd)

Favorite album: Honestly I just can’t decide.. Its prob either “The Beatles (aka white album)”, “With the Beatles” or “Revolver”

Unpopular/Controversial Beatles opinion: “Revolution 9″ is not an unlistenable song and has an actual artistic value. I mean, I don’t think is a song meant to be listened during a car ride, but I do think it encapsulates pretty well the chaotic and changing vibe of the late 60s. This song makes you feel unwell because it’s meant to. Despite that, I do believe it should not have been included on the album, but rather as a John/Yoko project. (Ik Geo had a input though)

A song everyone loves but you dislike: Never was the biggest fan of “Come together” or “With a little help from my friends”. They are not necessarily bad, but rather average for me

A song everyone dislikes but you love: “Run for your life”... I know the lyrics are quite nasty but its so catchy and I love George’s guitar in it. I also really like “Dizzy Miss Lizzy”, but I don’t know if it really is that unpopular among people

Your fantasy involving The Beatles: The PG one or the ??..

JK, but I would have love to meet them during their cavern/casbah days. Like about 1961, just to chat with them about rock n roll and even jam some songs. (Even if I’m not sure that I would love to do that as a girl or a guy). And I sincerely wish I could just have some deep conversations with George and John while we share a joint . I just wish I could have known them better...

Tell us about the moment you knew you were a fan: When returning home after a long school day I decided to look after some live material (At the time I only knew like 4 songs). I put YouTube on my tv, and found “She loves you” . I was not the same girl after watching that video. If I could explain how I suddenly felt so much joy and excitement looking at them that I even started singing and dancing. The rest is history 😉

Did you ever have a genuine ‘The Beatles suck !’ phase before becoming a fan?: Because their music was not around me 24/7 growing up, I never got fed up with their music. For me almost everything was new and interesting, so I never had a hater phase

Favorite Beatle’s book: Have not read any for the moment, but I’m dying to buy Cynthia’s and May’s books. (Also the autobiography “I me mine” by George)

Thoughts on the old generation of fans: Even if the few experiences I’ve had with them have not been good, I know most of them are chill people. I also love some podcasts made by first or second gen fans. The only thing that I dislike, is the average boomer who will claim they know more than you cause they were alive at the time, even if the only song they know its “Hey Jude” . (Or those who treat John as a saint, and blame the hole break-up on Paul... smh)

If Hollywood were to make a high budget Beatles biopic, what is one thing you desperately hope they include?: I wish they wont do it (We already got enough movies), but if they do something, it would be better if it was a series and not a film. If it had to happen, they better not forget how young the guys really were and how they were actual people. I know they were ground-breaking in so many ways, but they were also human beings with many defaults and even a bit naïve in some aspects. If you only give me a wife-beater (nasty) John, delicate flower Paul, silent George and dumb Ringo, the cartoon series has done a better job than you.

Do you read/write fanfic: One word.... Yes... *Hides her unfinished drafts*

Are you the only one in your family/friend group to enjoy them?: Sadly yes. I have to force my dad to play some Beatle music while driving cause most of the music he plays is raegetton, and even if I’m proud of my Latino roots.. I’ll do salsa or merengue anytime but not some Bad Bunny ok.

Are you a shipper?: Yup

Favorite movie starring/made by them?: Help!.. I mean I also love AHDN, but it’s just so funny to see them run around being high af as they play music despite Ringo being in mortal danger. (Also the visuals we get each song just give me such a MTV vibe. Its genuinely beautiful)

Do you believe in McLennon?: *smirks at the camera*

General opinions on McLennon?: Oh boy. The Lennon/McCartney relationship is one that seems out of my grandma telenovelas. From Paris to the breakup, their story is one of up and downs, but they never really stopped loving each other. Not even death could stop their link as Paul still dreams of him and thinks about John when composing songs. I understand that not everyone may be convinced that something really happened, but I think we all should be open to the possibility.

If you got to change ONE thing about their history, what would be and why?: Brian’s death. The beginning of the end was the moment he passed away. With Brian the band would still have broke up (All things must pass, even the good ones), but it would have been less messed up. No Paul trying to take the lead a bit too much, Apple Corps probably being better handled and no Allen Klein messing up everything. (And probably no Yoko in the studio but that may be a bit of a stretch)

What song has the best vocals?: As a group, “Because” it’s probably the one. Such a simple, yet perfectly well put vocals. The peak of their talent for harmonizing in my opinion. In another side “Oh Darling!” is prob Paul best and John’s voice in “This Boy” always get me

What song do you feel had no effort put into it?: Prob an unpopular opinion but “Eight Days a Week” is such a basic song. It’s not innovative, it just uses the formula, and I feel like around this time the guys were kind of tired and just fabricated the song to be a single. It simply not feels genuine, and for me it shows the biggest problem from the “Beatles for Sale” era.

What is a well talked moment in Beatles history you genuinely believe to be false?: The way Yoko met John. The most known story is that they met each other at a Yoko art gallery, but many sources (such a Cynthia or Brian personal assistant) tell us a complete different truth. I do believe she knew the band, stalked John and force herself into his life, despite of the romantic tale she keeps repeating.

What is something you KNOW to be true, but often gets erased in their history: John. So many things about John. Many see him as only a funny character and ignore so many cues that he was a man struggling with his own self esteem to the point of having eating disorders. Not forgetting his fluid sexuality, the fact that many think that as house husband all his problems went away or that he was a wife beater. John was more than the “Imagine” martyr or monster so many people (even some fans) make out of him.

Least favorite look from a Beatle(s): Ringo in the Help! movie. Horrible mushroom hair 😂

Favorite look from a Beatle(s): George Harrison in the “Hey Bulldog”/”Lady Madonna” videoclip. (I also want that cherry SG Standard so bad omg)

I really don’t know how many others have done it but here are my tags

@rocknroll-imagines @moreofthatdrowse @cultofbeatle @joan-deserved-the-silver-hammer

Thanks a lot guys !! ❤✌🥦🐘🎵😎

#loved this #the beatles #beatles

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lady-divine-writes · 5 years

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Klaine Advent Challenge - “Dependable” (Rated PG)

Summary: The one where Kurt is a DoorDash driver, trying to earn money for college, when he ends up making an early morning delivery to a special customer. (2576 words)

Notes: Written for the @klaineadvent Challenge 2018 prompts 'festival' and 'incident'. Also, the title and the summary suck, but it's been a long couple of weeks.

Read on AO3.

“Mr. … Mr. Anderson? Blaine Anderson?” Kurt tiptoes cautiously through the dark quad, bright red delivery bag looped over his shoulder announcing his presence from a mile away. Everything in his body screams, “Turn around and run!”, that this is a practical joke at best or at worst – a trap. But the bizarre sense of obligation that comes from both having something that doesn’t belong to you (in this case, a jumbo Jack combo) and a job he doesn’t want to lose keeps him pressing onward, even if he might be walking head on into danger. During his time as a DoorDash delivery driver, he has had a few people pull pranks on him - send him to either an abandoned house, a tree in an empty field, even all the way to Columbus to deliver seventeen pizzas to some underground BDSM and leather festival. That one he didn’t mind so much. The people there accepted his gift of free pizza (since he gets to keep the food if the order is undeliverable), invited him to hang out with them for a while, and showered him with tips.

All in all, not the worst experience in the world.

He doesn’t understand why people pull pranks like that other than they suck. They pay for it in the end – literally. They pay for the food and they can’t get their money back. They’ve basically spent their hard earned cash to waste his time, give him a paycheck and a free meal. How is that a satisfying joke by any stretch of the imagination?

He’s never had anyone prey on him before. He knows it’s a possibility. He’s heard of it happening to other drivers, mostly women - lured out to the middle of nowhere and attacked. But it’s never happened to him.

This delivery might actually be the case.

He looks down at his phone, the only thing he has lighting his way, and checks the address one more time. Lima High School, outdoor quad/lunch area (under construction). Kurt reads that last part and swallows hard. How did he miss that? Under construction? What the heck does that mean?

Kurt looks up and squints into the black, eyes trying to readjust from the bright white screen to pitch black surroundings. A few hard blinks later and he sees it – a sizable portion of the cement in front of the doors that lead to the cafeteria have been torn up. Yellow caution tape wrapped around orange safety cones surround it, warning anyone who comes near not to accidentally walk into it … the way he was about to. Kurt looks left and right, eyes and ears straining for any trace of the customer who supposedly ordered dinner and wanted it delivered here.

“Mr. Anderson? It’s DoorDash. I have your food. Can you tell me where you are, please?” Kurt had tried calling the man, but it went straight to voicemail. Still, Kurt chooses to remain optimistic. There’s a dozen reasons he can think of why someone would place a one a.m. order for Jack in the Box to be delivered to Lima High School. There’s construction being done. Maybe it’s a construction worker. Or the janitor. Or someone from the drama department working late on sets for the spring musical.

A skeptical voice interrupts his positivity to remind him that this is a high school campus. Therefore this has the potential to not only take a turn for the worse, but end up splattered all over YouTube, too.

That thought has him back stepping, ready to turn around and bolt, declare this delivery a bust and give the whole cholesterol laden meal to his stepbrother Finn when he hears a soft whimper. A voice calls out, of all things, his name.

“K-Kurt?”

The fear vibrating in that voice makes Kurt’s blood go cold. He turns toward it, expecting to see some short, shivering, Gollum-like creature standing behind him, but there’s no one. “Mr. Anderson?”

“Kurt?” A hollow knock follows. “Is that you, Kurt?”

Kurt’s entire body turns to stone, wondering how the mysterious voice knows his name. But then he remembers – the app tells the customer who’s delivering his food.

“Yeah, it’s me.” Kurt walks carefully around the cement patio, trying to pinpoint the voice’s hiding place. “Are you Blaine Anderson?”

“Yes! I---I’m Blaine Anderson! Are you alone?”

That question glues Kurt to the ground. Why would Blaine need to know that he’s alone? Can’t he see him?

What did he plan on doing to him?

“Yes, I am … for now. My stepbrother’s waiting for me in the car,” Kurt lies. “He’s a big guy. A football player. And he’ll come running in a moment’s notice if something happens to me!”

“I’m not going to do anything to you! I promise! I need your help because I’m … I’m stuck!”

“Stuck?” Kurt turns on his flashlight app and starts swinging the beam around, searching for any place a human being could get stuck. It strikes him that Blaine may have fallen into that hole, and he hurries over to investigate. He sees darkness, some pipe, and a lot of rubble, but no person. “Stuck where?”

A mumbled sentence answers Kurt’s question.

“Sorry,” Kurt says. “I didn’t catch that. Where are you?”

Blaine sighs. It’s so heavy and defeated, Kurt can hear it as clear as if Blaine were standing beside him. “I’m in the porta potty.”

“Porta potty, porta potty …” Kurt doesn’t recall seeing one when he walked in, and they’re pretty difficult to miss. He turns a full circle, swinging his light around high and low, and spots it in the corner – a tall, blue portable toilet, identical to the ones they have scattered around the McKinley sports fields, but this one has several benches pushed up against the door. And in the slot for a padlock, the handle of a fork has been slid in to keep it closed.

“Oh my God!” Kurt runs up to it, gives the door a knock, and hears a startled yelp reply. “Blaine? Are you in there?”

“Yeah, I am!” Blaine sounds relieved. “Please, get me out!”

“I will! I will! Give me a minute!” Kurt springs into action while flashbacks of a particularly horrible incident involving one of his friends getting locked in a porta potty hops to mind, not to mention his own experience getting locked in a dumpster. It was on spaghetti Tuesday, and ruined one of his favorite Alexander McQueen sweaters. “One second and I’ll have you out!”

“Okay.”

Kurt puts down his bag and starts shoving benches aside. They’re not heavy, just awkward, stacked in such a way that the metal supports lock together, making it difficult for him to maneuver without pinching his fingers. And since he had to put his phone in his pocket to free up his hands, he’s doing this completely in the dark.

This is definitely more nightmare fuel than he needs in one night.

With the benches gone, he slides the fork out of the lock. Before he can do anything else, the door flies open, nearly smacking him in the face, and a boy about his age stumbles out. He bends over double, sucking in air so quickly, Kurt thinks he’s about to pass out. Or puke. Kurt wouldn’t blame him. The stench that wafts from the narrow stall hits Kurt’s olfactories like a hammer, and he retches. He can’t picture having to live with that for longer than a few seconds.

Kurt pulls out his phone to check if Blaine has any injuries. He looks the boy over from a short distance, searching for black eyes or a fat lip. But aside from having been locked in a porta potty for who knows how long, he appears unharmed.

Blaine’s knees wobble. He weaves to his right, unable to stand upright yet, finds one of the moved benches and takes a seat. “T-thank you. You have no idea how stuffy it is in there.”

“I can imagine.” Kurt picks up the DoorDash bag with the boy’s meal inside and holds it protectively in front of him. This could still be a prank, Kurt reminds himself, peeking stealthily around as Blaine struggles to compose himself. “But, if you don’t mind me asking - you were locked in a porta potty. Why did you order DoorDash? Why didn’t you call your parents? Or the police?”

Blaine takes a few deep breaths, then lifts his head, sadly looking Kurt in the face. Kurt smiles sympathetically at what he sees. The boy looks pale, as if he’s recovering from a flu he’s had for at least a week, his bottom lip quivering, his forehead covered in sweat. The top few buttons of his shirt are undone, and his sleeves rolled up to his biceps. The mop of curls on the top of his head hang damp and limp, as if he ran his fingers through them obsessively. His eyes, shining in the light from Kurt’s flashlight app, translate clearly from their hazel depths how exhausted he feels. He definitely looks like a boy who’s been locked in a small, humid box for a few hours, stressed beyond belief, trying to find a way out.

But he’s also a handsome young man, someone Kurt would definitely notice walking down the halls of school if they both went to McKinley.

“I was on low battery,” Blaine explains. “My parents are away for the weekend. My brother would be no help. He’d make fun of me, then tease me worse when I got home. And I’ve tried the police before. They think it’s a practical joke. They don’t even send anyone to check it out.”

A lump rises to Kurt’s throat when he hears that. Apparently this has happened before then. And no one’s done anything about it yet? No one?

“My dad used to joke that if my life was ever in danger, call for pizza, not the police, because most pizza places guarantee they’ll be at your house in 30 minutes or less. So, I kind of went with that and took the chance you’d actually show. I wrote: ‘Help me! I’m locked in a porta potty!’ in the special instructions box. Didn’t you see it?”

“Sorry. No. The only note on your order was please bring extra Chick-fil-a sauce. I couldn’t, by the way. They’re not open right now.”

“You know, I keep trying to erase that, and it never works. I don’t even order from Chick-fil-a anymore. Stupid app. No offense.”

“None taken. I feel the same way.”

Blaine sighs, resting his head in his hands. An awkward silence grows, and Kurt can’t think of anything to do, any way to make this better. And he wishes he could. He really does. If they were at McKinley, he’d take Blaine to see Mr. Schue. Will Schuester has spent much of his teaching career championing his students’ causes. He’d definitely help Blaine.

But here at Lima High, Kurt knows no one. McKinley High and Lima High are in the same district. They compete against each other, go to each other’s rallies and what not. Maybe Mr. Schue could still help.

But not right now. Not at one a.m. For lack of anything better to do, Kurt unzips his bag and takes out Blaine’s food. “Well, uh …. here’s your order.”

“Thanks.” Blaine reaches out a trembling hand and takes his food. He puts the bag in his lap, hugging it like a security blanket.

“No problem.” Now what? Kurt thinks. This is generally the point where he races back to his car and hopes for another order, but he can’t leave Blaine here in the dark with his meal. “Are you going to be okay?”

“Yeah. I mean … this happens all the time. Jerk hole jocks. No offense to your stepbrother.”

“None taken. He used to be a jerk hole himself.”

“I’m an easy target. I’m the only out gay kid at this school, and I …”

“… constantly get picked on?” Kurt finishes, taking a seat beside Blaine. “Thrown in dumpsters, shoved into lockers, that kind of thing?”

Blaine turns to look at Kurt. “Yeah. How do you know?”

“It happens to me a lot at my high school, too. For the same reason.”

“Oh.” Blaine’s eyes open wide when he gets it, but he sits up straighter. “Oh, I’m sorry. What school?”

“McKinley.”

“Ah. Land of the Slushie Facials.”

“So you’ve heard of it?”

“Ironically, I did everything in the world to avoid going there. But Lima High’s not much better. Minus the slushies.”

“You’re lucky. They’re a special kind of hell.”

“I bet.”

Kurt looks down at his phone with the red and white app screen still visible. He has yet to mark this order delivered, and he should. He should get going. He’s already considered late (unavoidable since he had to search the campus to find Blaine in the first place), and he really should get as much work as he can in before he has to be home. He’s saving up for college. His dream school – NYADA. But the thought of bidding Blaine adieu doesn’t sit well with him. He needs to know that Blaine is going to be okay, that he’s safe, and that his brother isn’t going to give him too much grief for what happened tonight.

Blaine doesn’t have anyone reliable in his corner if the person he put his faith in was a food delivery driver.

If they went to the same school, they’d have one another.

Kurt wonders if that’s a possibility …

He swipes his finger across the screen. Instead of waiting for another order, he marks this one delivered, and signs off. He has months to save up for school. As important as NYADA is to him, he has a feeling that there’s something more important he needs to do here.

Be there for Blaine.

“Do you have a way to get home?” Kurt asks.

“I … yeah. My car should be in the parking lot. Only it’s a far parking lot, and I’m a little bit afraid of walking out there by myself … in the dark. I just don’t know if they’re waiting for me. I don’t think they would stick around here on a Friday night, but …”

“Gotcha. Well, Blaine Anderson, if you would, please do me the honor of letting me escort you to your car. Then maybe you and I can go somewhere and talk? Get a coffee? Compare battle scars? I’ve got a doozy on the back of my calf where I cut it on a trash can.”

“Hey, I think I have one of those, too.” Blaine waits for Kurt to stand, then clumsily follows, putting a hand to his hip when it complains about moving. “I wish my phone hadn’t died. Then we’d have two flashlights to light our way. What happens if we get ambushed? Do you think your stepbrother can help us?”

“I … uh … kind of lied about him being here. Sorry about that. But don’t worry.” Kurt reaches into his DoorDash bag and pulls out an industrial-sized bottle of pepper spray wrapped in a black leather holder with a silver spike on the bottom – courtesy of the kind members of the Lace and Leather Sadomasochists Club of Greater Columbus. He unlocks it and gives it a good shake. “I’ve got us covered.”

#Klaine Advent 2018 #klaine fic #klaine fanfiction #frankie writes

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dailycamilacabello · 7 years

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Welcome To Superstardom, Camila Cabello

Camila Cabello stuck the landing so emphatically that it’s easy to forget she leapt in the first place. This time last year the 20-year-old Cuban-Mexican singer from Miami was fresh out of Fifth Harmony, her generation’s most popular girl group, assembled by Simon Cowell from an array of teenage strangers on the short-lived American edition of The X Factor. Cabello’s departure was acrimonious but understandable given her rising profile and a rapidly expanding catalog of quality solo tracks that pegged her as a household name in the making. Cabello had been the first member of Fifth Harmony to score a solo hit (with the Shawn Mendes collaboration “I Know What You Did Last Summer”) and was on her way to matching the group’s best performance on the Billboard Hot 100 (with the Machine Gun Kelly duet “Bad Things”). She was guesting on tracks by big-name producers like Cashmere Cat and Major Lazer and seeking outlets to explore her own creativity outside the restrictive confines of a girl group. Superstardom seemed inevitable. A year later, on the eve of her debut album, it has come to pass: Cabello is now such a prominent figure in mainstream pop that her girl-group backstory is largely fading out of memory. And this is coming from someone who’s always had a lot of good things to say about the girl group in question. Fifth Harmony were never exactly Destiny’s Child, but they have quite a few bangers to their name. They made “Work From Home.” They made “Sledgehammer.” They made the criminally underrated “BO$$.” Cabello’s history with the group is not some embarrassing chapter to be erased. Yet at a time when her absence has become the only interesting storyline Fifth Harmony have left, Fifth Harmony has come to feel like a footnote in Cabello’s own narrative. This could have gone much differently. Last May, riding high on the success of “Bad Things,” Cabello released “Crying In The Club,” the lead single from her debut album The Hurting, The Healing, The Loving. It peaked at #47 and flopped as much as a song with nearly 125 million YouTube views can be considered a flop. At the very least it was enough of a failure that eight months later the album has a different title (Camila) and “Crying In The Club” isn’t on it — not even as a bonus track. That song, which Cabello cowrote with Sia and Benny Blanco, was an above-average bit of dark, melodramatic dancehall-pop with production that artfully nodded toward her Latin roots, but it never found an audience beyond the fiercely loyal fan base she inherited from Fifth Harmony. It didn’t much help that the video began with a lengthy prologue built around a different, less immediate track called “I Have Questions.” The tearful ballad, which wasn’t mentioned anywhere in the video’s YouTube description, may have tested viewers’ patience and caused some confusion about what her single actually sounded like — or at least that was my own experience. Here’s where Cabello’s career path reminds us how much the music industry can function like a Choose Your Own Adventure book. Had “Crying In The Club” caught fire, maybe we’d have gotten the album she originally envisioned, one defined by heartbreak and recovery. Instead, the album experienced the usual delays and revisions incurred by a failed lead single, which brought on another fork in the road: In some other timeline, such stumbles might have multiplied until Cabello’s album was released without buzz or shelved indefinitely. In this dimension, she converted what seemed like a roadblock into extra runway to continue reshaping and improving her project. It was not unlike when fellow Floridian teen-celebrity survivor Ariana Grande rolled out “Focus,” the lead single from her album Moonlight, only to watch it brick. Grande retreated to the lab and reemerged months later with the title track from her new album Dangerous Woman, essentially pretending the whole “Focus” thing never happened. Cabello pulled a similar maneuver, but she handed over the next choice in her Choose Your Own Adventure to the fans. In August she returned with two more singles, each one an improvement over “Crying In The Club.” Although both tracks paired her with massively popular Atlanta rappers, they were markedly different exercises. The Charli XCX cowrite “OMG” was a slow-creeping trap-pop production built around the appealing chorus “Oh my God! You look good today,” featuring the suddenly ubiquitous Migos leader Quavo doing his usual Auto-Tuned ad-libs and non-sequiturs. “Havana,” meanwhile, was more like hip-hop salsa music, a sly and seductive story-song buoyed by cowriter Pharrell’s signature vibrancy and a typically weird guest verse from Young Thug. By releasing them at the same time, Cabello seemed to be crowdsourcing her next stab at a lead single. It worked. “Havana” has become far and away her biggest hit, dominating at radio and lingering for weeks at #2 on the Hot 100. In retrospect it’s an obvious winner: sneakily catchy and contagiously slinky, with a central piano riff that swings like graceful hips and a casual, conversational vocal performance that occasionally darts into high drama. Even before Cabello released a remix with Daddy Yankee, “Havana” was perfectly timed to capitalize on the massive popularity of “Despacito.” In the loosest sense, here was another seamless blend of hip-hop and Latin pop, yet built from such different strains of hip-hop and Latin pop that it would always stand alone as its own thing. Furthermore, its stupendously fun video by Kendrick Lamar collaborator Dave Meyers — in which Cabello plays multiple roles including a primped telenovela actress, a geeky fangirl, and a svelte young woman gliding across a Cuban dance floor — confirmed the star power suggested by her trashy noir turn in “Bad Things.” This time a lengthy video intro worked in her favor: a short story so delightfully immersive that it almost turned the monster single it was promoting into a secondary concern. The clip has been viewed well over 400 million times. Meanwhile “Havana” has been the most played song on pop radio for the past seven weeks, the longest such streak in five years. The groundwork is laid for Camila to be a blockbuster success. Even if the album doesn’t spin off any more hits, “Havana” alone should be enough to propel it to the top of the Billboard 200 and cement Cabello’s status as an A-list pop star. Frankly, though, the prospect of no more hits from Camila seems unlikely. Although it’s a crime she left “OMG” off the tracklist, there’s plenty of radio bait to fill the vacuum once “Havana” finally subsides. Perhaps reflexively rejecting the grandiosity of “Crying In The Club,” Camila feels intentionally compact and small-scale, less an Event Album in the Lemonade sense than a concise portfolio of potential singles. She recently told Zane Lowe she changed the album title and left off so many of her early solo tracks because she was leaving that period of personal tumult in the past. What remains is crisp and focused, engineered for world domination at a time when the sound of pop has become decidedly thin and ephemeral. The album exists in the omnivorous but streamlined sonic environment common to top-40 radio right now, cohesive in its air-light agility but with enough leeway to lean into various genres. That’s exemplified by the two advance tracks Cabello shared in her latest double drop: Lovestruck album opener “Never Be The Same” is surging, synth-powered festival-core that could almost pass for indie rock with the right marketing plan. On the other hand, “Real Friends” is a spare, simple guitar tune, like Justin Bieber’s Selena Gomez kiss-off “Love Yourself” re-imagined in Gomez’s own airy aesthetic. It’s one of several tracks that seem to reference Cabello’s falling out with Fifth Harmony — “I’m just looking for some real friends/ All they ever do is let me down” — and one of a few to embrace naked minimalism, along with the similarly guitar-driven “All These Years” and a wistful piano ballad called “Consequences.” Another piano-powered lament, “Something’s Gotta Give,” begins modestly before blooming into emotional theatrics. “Havana” is sandwiched by two other Latin-tinged club tracks, the reggaeton banger “She Loves Control” (a fitting anthem for a singer who told The New York Times she chose a solo career because “if anyone wants to explore their individuality, it’s not right for people to tell you no”) and the booming, skittering Caribbean flirtation “Inside Out.” The trip-hop excursion “In The Dark” sounds bathed in the same blacklight that once illuminated Sneaker Pimps. And perhaps no song on Camila seems more earmarked to follow “Havana” into ubiquity than the brisk, rhythmically charged album closer “Into It,” an effortlessly catchy come-on built from lyrics like, “I’m not a psychic, but I see myself all over you.” Aggressive synth swells, soft neon curlicues, and a motion-compelling digital drum loop add up to a refreshing jolt of energy. It sounds, to quote Cabello’s own recent contribution to the Bright soundtrack, like someone running for the crown. [source]

#camila cabello #album review #camila #news

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scaplivingtogether · 7 years

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SCaP-Living Together OVA: “Thank you for your Purchase”

Hello everyone, I was kinda stressed out so I kinda did a short story as some sort of vent, and an OVA for my story: SCaP ~Living Together~, it is a cute story inspired by the MMD video "ご注文の商品です" by NicoNicoDouga user: ラミー.

NicoNicoDouga: http://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm18636769

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACS7GDKIJPM

ENJOY!

Rated K 5+ for ...Ahhh what the heck there's no cursing or adult themes anywhere, it's a family-friendly story XD

-The Author, TomboyJessie13

In the Modified Black Box, there stood a Victorian-themed house in a Black and White environment, and in the box is inhabited by Allen Avadonia, the Gods' disciple, and former servant. And residing with him are the "Seven Deadly Sinners of the Seven Deadly Sins" or just known simply as "Demon Contractors" or "Sinners" for short. The Sinners were placed in the Box by Sickle and the other Gods as their Purgatory, in hopes of receiving their rights to enter the Heavenly Yard for repenting for their crimes humanely. However, it is somehow slow because the Sinners always seem to be at each other's necks at various occasions. But today is just a calming day where the sinners could just relax and not cause trouble for one another, except for Margarita of course.

What's the reason? Let's find out.

Margarita had obtained access to use of the God's "magical tool" called a laptop, which works like a typewriter but has a charger to keep the tool from dying, it has a bright screen with pictures, short films or long films, records of different music genres, games, and it has the ability to erase typos and explore various places and subjects without being there physically and without a book...as long as she doesn't look up the word "porn", saying it has a curse called a "virus" that could infect the tool and the sanity of the innocent user or child negatively. Margarita, of course, doesn't need to see such a thing nor delve deep into the tool for she felt like being at a different place like say Lioness for example physically would be more of an experience than just sitting around looking at pictures. Instead, she just uses it for personal research on potions and chemicals that a book couldn't tell. Occasionally, however, she would use it to seek entertainment or treasures.

Speaking of treasures, while she was relaxing in the living room with the tool sitting on her lap, she found a place that the god Behemo created called "Behemo-zon" that sales various items, from new to used, bootleg to real deals, she found a product that she felt would brighten one of the rooms in the house and amuse the Sinners: Cartoony-looking figurines of herself and her comrades called "Nendoroids". They appear to look like them only with small bodies with large heads and eyes, they also seem to come with little accessories that look like the Vessels of Sin, gift, brioche, revolver, etc. Despite wondering where they come from, Margarita pushed that thought aside and began remembering the shelves of the girl's and boy's bedroom and imagine them being on them, noting with amusement of what it would be like. Once her mind's made up, she decided to purchase them, though if she has to give money physically, the Sinners would have to fight tooth and nail just to keep Gallerian down. She buys them, giving her a notice that it would arrive in three days.

Three days later

Margarita was sitting by the porch outside of their house reading a book when she saw particles of light came down, the particles reveal themselves to be a man wearing a green delivery suit and cap, holding a clipboard, just in time.

"Are you a Margarita Blankenheim?" The man asked.

"Yes." She answered.

"We've delivered your order, just sign here and that would be 50 Evs in total." He hands her the clipboard.

"Oh goodie!" She signs it vigorously and gives him the money, luckily for her she saved the money from her previous trip to Capriccio Academy. "Thank you so much." She then sees a package on the porch, but to her surprise, it turned into two, then three, four, five, six, seven, eight large packages. Once the deliveryman had left, she was dumbfounded by the number of packages she was given, wasn't it supposed to be one, maybe two? "Uhhhhhhh..." She was speechless but decides to just take them inside and see what she can do with them. She took the first box inside but was kinda struggling a little.

"You need any help with those?" Nemesis asked, she was just walking past when she saw the packages.

"Yes, please, there's more outside."

"So that's were those particles of light are? packages?" Riliane asked, she and Banica had just entered the kitchen after picking vegetables from their backyard garden.

"Yeah, you wanna help?"

"Sure darling." Banica obliged. One by one the packages were taken to the living room by the four girls.

"So what's in these?" Nemesis asked.

"Well, they're supposed to be tiny figurines of ourselves called Nendoroids." Margarita answered as she was looking for a box cutter, that left Nemesis surprised.

"Nendoroids!?" Nemesis exclaimed, she was sort of a fan of Jakokunese culture do to being half-Jakokunese herself.

"What are you ladies doing?" Sateriasis asked, turning his head to the corner.

"Margarita got us little figurines of us." Banica answered.

"Figurine's you say?" Gallerian asked as he pushed through Sateriasis and Riliane to see the figurines. "Seems a bit much don't you think?"

"I agree, there's no way we can keep them all." Kayo said from the entrance. "I suppose we'll keep the ones in the first box and send the rest back, or give them to the children for charity."

"What's going on? What the...?" Allen asked, that's when he saw the boxes.

"Found it." Margarita held up the box cutter triumphantly, she began to cut the tape of the first box and once that's done, she opened it. She was stunned by what's in the box.

"What?" Riliane asked, she looked inside and she saw a large head with blond hair, both of them looked at each other, then they looked back at what's in the box. Margarita grabbed the object in the box and pulled it out, revealing a 100cm long Nendoroid of Allen Avadonia, much to her and Riliane"s surprise. Allen was shocked to see a figurine of himself that his jaw felt like it was on the ground, Sateriasis was surprised before laughing his head off at Allen's expression, Banica was covering her mouth in surprise, Kayo was swooning over how adorable it was, Gallerian's eyes had widened in astonishment, and Nemesis facepalmed at the mistake.

For the next few minutes, all the figurines had been taken out of their boxes one by one, each one being the same size as the figurine of Allen. Due to their large size, they sadly did not come with little accessories for each figurine, no extra faces, no extra limbs, no stands, and no tiny items like vessels and weapons. However, they do make up that flaw by having bendable limbs and brushable hair. Gallerian and Sateriasis took the boxes outside to be recycled while Margarita was setting up the figurines, she looked over at Allen.

"I knew who have an aesthetic for dolls but I didn't think you go this extra mile." Allen said, smiling.

"Noooooo." Margarita exclaimed, "I was trying to buy the small figurines for the Sinners because I thought they would brighten up the rooms a little."

"Small ones huh? Well, maybe I'll find the ones you're looking for with the Magic Tool." Allen reassured her.

"Really? Oh thank you!"

A few more minutes later, Allen used the laptop to look for the item Margarita was talking about. "Huh, there they are." He looked closely at the product on Behemo-Zon, "They don't seem to be any different than the big ones." Allen said to himself. "Oh well, let's see what happens." Allen then made his purchase. Meanwhile, Margarita was having a hard time finding a way to put away the big figurines she bought, she had just crammed a figurine of Banica into a shelf while Margarita was trying to put the Kayo figurine into a high part of the girl's bedroom cabinet but to no avail. She sighs in disappointment.

"Hello, Margarita." Kayo said politely as she entered the room.

"Hey Kayo, I just don't know what to do with these figurines, there's no place to put them." She said sadly.

"Well if it makes you feel any better, I would take the one that looks like me off your hands." Kayo said, brushing her hand on the Kayo figurine's head.

"You will?" Margarita exclaimed happily, Kayo nodded in response. "Go right ahead." She gave the figurine to her.

"Am I interrupting something?" Gallerian asked as he popped his head inside.

"No."

"Ok, I was just wondering if I can have that figurine that looks like me."

"And me." Nemesis butted in.

"Absolutely!" Margarita beamed with joy.

Three more days later

Allen was sitting Next to Sateriasis who was hanging with his little figurine friend while watching Gallerian and Nemesis tweaking their figurines with the tools she got from her Gang, Zeus, as a gift. While in the other room, Banica, Kayo, and Riliane took care of their figurines, brushing them and fixing their dresses while Margarita looked on happily. Just then she saw particles of light appearing outside the window, meaning the delivery people are here.

"Oh good, they've arrived on time." Allen said as he walks to the door, Margarita saw him from upstairs, and just as she was walking down, she saw Allen quickly walking back into the living room, he looked fuming. Confused, she looked at the entrance and saw that there were 8 more boxes just like the first time, Margarita gawked in surprise. Around that time Allen took out the laptop to look up the product again to see what went wrong.

"Allen, there are eight more boxes at the door!" Margarita said.

"I know, I was trying to buy the figurines you were talking about, I don't know what went wrong." Allen said to her, he then looked at the article closely and found one tiny detail that he and even Margarita forgot to check: The details on the size, preferably 100cm each. That causes Allen's jaw to drop again, this time in embarrassment. Afterward, the new figurines are placed in the living room neatly.

"Looks like someone made a little boo-boo, huh?" Banica asked.

"Yeah, heh heh." Allen admitted, laughing nervously.

"I saw you and your Father tweaking on those dolls earlier, what did you do?" Sateriasis asked.

"Oh yeah." Nemesis set her figurine up and took out a remote. "Watch this." She activated the figurine, it began making its first steps much to Sateriasis's astonishment and Kayo's delight, she was swooning even more over how cute it was.

"Allen didn't want me and Nemesis fighting anymore so this is a bit of a coping tactic." Gallerian explained.

"That you have my approval of." Allen said smiling.

"No hard feelings, huh Margy?" Riliane said to Margarita.

"Yep." She said, smiling.

The next day

While Allen was out to do business with the Gods in the Heavenly Yard and to find homes for the extra figurines he accidentally bought, Nemesis and Gallerian were having a small sumo-like duel with their little figurines, Nemesis was able to tip Gallerian's with her own, winning the game.

"OH YEAH!" Nemesis declared victory, much to Gallerian's annoyance. Meanwhile, Banica is sitting in the bedroom with Margarita as she used the laptop again to purchase the Nendoroids she wanted, and this time she is much wiser to check for sizes.

"Check this out." Margarita said to her Gluttonous friend. "It's the same set but with a different heading." She looked at the bottom for sizes, and much to her relief, it is 18cm instead of 100. "And it's they're at the perfect size too!" Back in the dining room, Sateriasis and Riliane were helping Kayo carrying bowls of Anmitsu, a dessert popular in Jakoku.

"Sateriasis, could you call the others when you put these down?" Kayo asked.

"Yes, Kayo." He replied, once he placed the dished down, he went into the kitchen to grab a triangle, he stuck his head out to see Gallerian and Nemesis outside. "Dessert time, everyone." He said, ringing the triangle.

Back upstairs

"Ok, Aaaaaand purchased!" Margarita said, pressing the purchase icon.

"Good work, Darling!" Banica said, giving her a thumbs up, she made her figurine have a thumbs up as well, making Margarita giggle.

"Hey, guys! Kayo made us some sweets! Get down before they melt!" Nemesis called them from downstairs.

"Yaaay sweets!" Banica said happily as she got up, soon they left the room. I what your thinking, you think it's all over and done with? Nope, because Margarita didn't check all the details of the product, one of those details is that you get a surprise with your purchase, what's the surprise? Guess she'll wait three days.

Another three days later

The Delivery man has arrived once again with the packages she wanted.

"Thank you so much!" Margarita thanked the delivery man, just then, much to her surprise, he gave her four more boxes, all stamped with a red mark meaning "special". A few minutes later, the first box Margarita wanted has been opened, which contained the right sized figurines in their own boxes with their own small parts and items. As for the other four? When she opened up the first one, it was a 100cm long figurine of Sickle in his Bat form, that's when she found out that the special is the same thing as the 100cm figurines she got, this time instead of them being of the Sinners, it's of the four Pillar Gods themselves.

"Oh nooooooooooo!" Margarita whined after taking out the Bat Sickle Figurine. The Sinners began laughing at the mistake she caused.

THE END

FYI, This is not a promotion for Amazon and Nendoroids, it's just a funny vent story inspired by an MMD video I like.

#evillious chronicles #Seven Crimes and Punishments #fanfiction #OVA #short story

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seoprovider2110 · 7 years

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Transcript of How to Create Ridiculously Good Content

Transcript of How to Create Ridiculously Good Content written by John Jantsch read more at Duct Tape Marketing

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Transcript

John Jantsch: Hello and welcome to another episode of the Duct Tape Marketing podcast. This is John Jantsch, and my guest today is Ann Handley. She is the Chief Content Officer for MarketingProfs. Also the co-author of “Content Rules.” I think I had she and C.C. on when that book came out, and she’s the author of a new book we’re going to talk about today called “Everybody Writes: Your Go-To Guide to Creating Ridiculously Good Content.” Ann, welcome back.

Ann Handley: Well, thank you John. I’m super excited to be here, so thanks for having me.

John Jantsch: So I’m going to start really early in the book. I’m going to start a sentence and you have to finish it, okay? You ready?

Ann Handley: Okay, I’m ready.

John Jantsch: “Spread your arms and hold your breath,” and?

Ann Handley: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

John Jantsch: Your dedication. You didn’t even know this probably, but your dedication is a line from a Guy Clark song, “Always Trust Your Cape.”

Ann Handley: Oh, I’m sorry.

John Jantsch: And the lead up to that, first mention of that in “Always Trust Your Cape” is “Spread your arms and hold your breath.”

Ann Handley: I can’t believe you knew that. This is like, I don’t think anybody knows that. I didn’t think anybody would. Yes, exactly. That is exactly from that. That’s an amazing song.

John Jantsch: I’m a music nut and so if you’re going to use music lyrics on me, you can expect I’m going to give you the history of the song or something.

Ann Handley: Oh, that’s awesome. I can’t believe I just blew that. Did you hear my stunned silence?

John Jantsch: Yeah, that was … We’re going to have to edit that out completely. All right, so no, you know it’s funny, though. Not everybody knows who writes books, but you write these books, sometimes two years pass before like you wrote the first chapter, and so sometimes I’ll get on and do an interview, and somebody will say, “On page three, you say this” and I’m scrambling like, “What did I say on page three?”

Ann Handley: “What did I say?” No, it’s funny. I mean, that Guy Clark song, that’s a seminal song in my son who I wrote the dedication to, in his childhood. Because he’s an artist, and he’s a little bit of a quirky personality, he especially was when he was a child, and so just that idea that always trust your cape, always trust your inner guide, your instincts, is just something that we’ve really talked to him about his whole life. That’s special.

John Jantsch: You know, the story that goes on in that song, too, of course, is he did not know he couldn’t fly and so he did, right?

Ann Handley: Right. I’m welling up just talking to you, John.

John Jantsch: Sorry, sorry.

Ann Handley: Because that is such an emotional thing for me. Ridiculous.

John Jantsch: Awesome. Okay. Well, I mean, let’s just talk more about the dedication, you know? People have to buy the book then. So, I would suspect, this would be for me, if I were to write a book about writing, I’m not sure I could hold myself to the standard that certainly people would start holding me to, but one of the things I really like in this book is you write early on, take away the stuffiness or the rules that we all sometimes feel constricted by. Was that obviously part of your intent, too, was to say, “Hey, this is a serious book. I’m on a mission from God,” because you say that several times as well, but it doesn’t all have to be eighth grade teacherish?

Ann Handley: Yeah, exactly. I mean, the whole idea that I think a lot of us have anxiety that we’ve carried over from our high school years or at least our school years somewhere along the way, and somewhere along the way we felt like there are two kinds of people. Those who can write and those who can’t. I think many of us have some anxiety about writing, and so what I tried to do was strip that away a little bit and let people know. I think we are all writers in this world, especially a social media content driven world, I think we are all writers, but more than that, I think that there’s a lot of fun that can come with writing. You can certainly learn a lot about yourself, your customers, there’s a lot of thinking that goes into writing.

I really wanted to deconstruct it and make it feel like it was something very doable, which is why I told that story early on about me going to a gym and doing a pushup for the first time in my life, which it’s a silly story but it’s a true story and it also has a lot of resonance, I think, for people who feel very awkward as writers. I think it’s inherently learnable and I think everybody can learn to be a better writer.

John Jantsch: Now, I know the answer to this but I still feel compelled to ask you this. In this Vine and Snapchat and YouTube world, does anybody really care about writing anymore?

Ann Handley: Yeah. I think so. I think it matters more than ever, really. I mean, I talk about this in the book quite a bit, but I think our writing matters more now. It doesn’t matter less. Because our words that we’re using really are our ambassadors. On your website, on your Twitter profile, on your Facebook page, on LinkedIn. Everywhere. The words you’re using are really your ambassador for yourself and for your business. I don’t think of writing as this ivory tower exercise. I think of writing as the everyday stuff of life, you know? It’s not just blog posts and eBooks and things that we typically associate with reading. I think it’s everything. It’s the words on our website, it’s our product descriptions, it’s our thank you page content. It’s everything.

John Jantsch: Yeah, and I mean, one of the things you address a lot too is you don’t have to think of yourself as a writer or that that’s your profession, but the fact of the matter is you’re going to have to do it a bunch. I mean, it might just be writing two or three emails to start getting somebody interested in hiring you, and that could make the difference in whether or not you get hired, or how you get hired, or what you get hired to do.

Ann Handley: Sure, yeah. Exactly. I mean, we all are writing, we’re all trying to convince somebody of something. Whether it’s convincing somebody that you are the right solution to a problem that they have, that your business is the right answer, or whether it’s just a simple email to somebody. One of the things I talk a lot about in the book is really approaching any writer, or any writing that you do with a truly reader centric point of view. Really swapping places with your reader and thinking about what experience is this creating for them.

That’s helped me a lot as a writer, as a blogger, on all of my social content that I’m putting out there. Just really thinking about what effect is this having on the person? Am I wasting their time? Am I spending too much time on a setup at the beginning or can I just dive right into it? Just doing some really simple things to help you create a better experience for the people you’re trying to talk to.

John Jantsch: It’s funny. In one of my earlier books, an editor numerous times, and he was actually my favorite editor. I’ve had actually four different editors on my four-

Ann Handley: Wow.

John Jantsch: … books, but he was my favorite editor. He would quite often say, “Why are you doing so much throat clearing here?” The idea being that you’re talking about what you’re going to talk about. Just talk about it. I thought that was pretty interesting way to characterize that. But one of the things that I like about the book, quite frankly, is there are lots of short chapters. Was that your intent? Or, was that just a style decision on your part?

Ann Handley: Yeah, I mean definitely it was an intent. I like books that are very useful and that you can come away with a real sense of how to do something. So, I didn’t want to create this writing tomb that felt really heavy and felt really like, “Ugh, I could never get through this.” I didn’t want it to sit like a doorstep on somebody’s desk, you know? I wanted to create something that felt like you could pick it up, you could leaf through it, you could read a couple of chapters very quickly, very easily, and take away something. That’s my “how to” personality. That’s how MarketingProfs is geared. We’re very much about teaching people how to do things and not just why they should do things. That was very much by design.

But also, I mean, I think it goes along with what I was talking about when I was talking about my philosophy toward writing in general. I think it’s really important not to waste the time of your reader. You were mentioning your editor with your throat clearing, I talk about take a running start and then basically erase your tracks, right? It’s okay to do that sort of throat clearing warmup, but in the end, pair it down to the bare essentials. That’s what I tried to do in this book, as well.

John Jantsch: Well, and your writing is very funny. I think that really helps because you’re tackling grammar. I mean, oh boy. How boring could you be, right? Maybe, and it might help that I hear your bubbly little voice in my head when I’m reading, but I think people will really appreciate your somewhat dry and sarcastic style.

Ann Handley: I hope so. Either that or they get incredibly offended, but I hope they think it’s funny.

John Jantsch: Now, a drum that I’ve been beating for a number of years, and in fact it was even a subchapter in my last book called, “Why You Must Write,” and it is that, at least my contention is that I started out as somebody who wanted to write, but realized very quickly I wasn’t very … I just hadn’t been trained very well. I didn’t have a lot of experience. Apparently my grammar that I got in grade school didn’t hold or didn’t stick, but I continued to do it because I found that, again, part of it is I wanted to be a writer, I wanted to write, but I also found that it made me a better salesperson. It made me a better communicator in general.

I think it forced me to start thinking about things in different ways, and so I have this whole list … It made me a better public speaker. I have this whole list of things that I attribute to the fact that I’ve now written probably half a million words over the last few years.

Ann Handley: Yeah. That’s really interesting. Yeah, I think it’s absolutely true. I think strong writing is strong thinking. I think if you work on being a better writer, really what does that mean? That means that you are doing all kinds of things. From a psychological standpoint, but at the same time, you’re really making it extremely … You have a lot of empathy really for your audience. Whether that audience is somebody you’re trying to sell to or whether it’s somebody you are speaking to, you’re on stage delivering some sort of speech or presentation, or whether it’s the person who is reading the book that you just wrote.

I mean, I think ultimately what it does is it trains you to be very economic with the words you’re using, with a real sense of empathy for what they’re carrying, what messages they’re carrying to the people who are there to hear you.

John Jantsch: Let’s really get at the heart of why you wrote this book, and I’ve been giving it really all this positive spin, but there’s really a negative component to this book, and that is you were personally waging a war on mediocrity. That’s the part that I think is the sub-level part that people don’t pick up on right away. Tell me about that.

Ann Handley: Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, that’s absolutely true. I mean, there’s a byproduct-

John Jantsch: So you are a snob? That’s what I’m really getting at.

Ann Handley: Oh, no. Not at all, no. I know you’re kidding because you know I’m me and you know I’m the furthest thing from that. No, I think that’s the … Mediocre content is the byproduct of our content marketing age. I mean, it used to be that writing and publishing was reserved for those chosen few who could afford a printing press and the distribution that went with it, but in a world where everybody is able to write and publish and email and create social media platforms, and everything. There’s a lot of noise out there, and there’s a lot of noise that’s poorly written, that’s incredibly useless, really, to the people that you’re trying to reach, that’s really clutter and is not valuable.

What I wanted to do was say, “Okay, let’s take a step back from this content marketing noise that’s out there right now and let’s go back to basics in a sense, and let’s look at how can we really improve the quality of what we’re doing?” My feeling is that in a world of democratized communication, which I think is wonderful. I mean, as somebody who’s been creating content for as long as I have, I love it, but at the same time, I feel like there’s also an imperative on all of us to really up our game. I take that very seriously. I really want those of us who have the power to embrace it as real power, real opportunity.

Don’t just publish anything because you can, but really take it seriously and try to create great experiences for our customers. Ultimately, published stuff that’s incredibly useful to them, and that is really inspired from not just a data sense, but also from a creative sense. Publishing things that are really good. In a way, it’s my personal charge, my personal mission to really just encourage and to try to get all of us to up our game. I include myself in here, too.

John Jantsch: Yeah, and I think that from a practical standpoint, I started blogging in 2003 and I think there were 12 or 13 other blogs, so people had to read what I wrote.

Ann Handley: Exactly, exactly.

John Jantsch: And now they don’t have to so much. There are millions and millions and millions of blogs, so I just think from a practical standpoint the stuff we want to read is the only stuff we’re going to have time to read anymore.

Ann Handley: Yeah, exactly.

John Jantsch: And I think that’s a big part of what you’re saying, as well.

Ann Handley: Exactly. I mean, that’s the other side of it. I mean, in a world where there is so much noise, you’ve really got to up your own game. Not only because you have a moral imperative to do so, but at the same time, you have a business imperative to do so.

John Jantsch: One of the things I’d love to hear your take on is I do believe that because we are so overwhelmed with content, a lot of it we feel compelled to at least consume in some fashion. I think that we certainly have shorter attention spans or don’t really feel like, “Okay, can I sit down and read that 2500 word piece?” And yet, that’s the stuff that I think in some cases is really the great stuff, but I think there’s also a real need to write much shorter content which I sometimes find is actually harder to do.

Ann Handley: Yeah, right. There’s that famous, was it Pascal quote? “I didn’t have time to write a shorter letter.”

John Jantsch: Yeah, exactly.

Ann Handley: It’s like that kind of thing. Yeah, but you know, I think what’s inherent with that-

John Jantsch: I always attributed that to Mark Twain. I thought that was Mark Twain.

Ann Handley: I think it was originally Pascal but I think Twain probably stole it from him, which was probably by him. I don’t know. You should probably look that up in case you link to it.

John Jantsch: I will, I will.

Ann Handley: Yeah, it’s definitely harder to write shorter, I think. I mean, I was not a great journalist because I had too much of a storyteller’s heart. I felt a need to give background on things and color and places that it really wasn’t appropriate. I was a terrible news reporter for that reason, so my editors when I used to work for the Boston Globe is where I started my career, they switched me pretty quickly over to features because I definitely had more of a storyteller’s heart, you know? I’m a much better storyteller than I am a news journalist, or news reporter.

But that said, I think that as content marketers, as marketers, as business owners, it is imperative that we think about brevity when we’re communicating with our customers, but that doesn’t mean that everything has to be 300 words or less. It doesn’t mean that you should never communicate with anything that’s bigger than an Instagram post or something silly like that. I think really what it means is that you only use the amount of words that you need to use to tell a story. That’s where I think the editing process is really important. There’s a lot of writers out there who I found through the course of doing research for this book who just they’ll write a blog post and they’ll just put it up.

I don’t do that and I’ve never done that, and it fills me with fear a little bit, because like to me, letting it steep and then ferment a bit, and the going back and looking at it from the reader’s point of view, swapping places with your readers like I talk about in the book, and really taking a critical eye to it. “Is this the best way that I said this? Am I wasting somebody’s time? Is every sentence earning its keep?” I think that’s a really important part of the process and I think that’s ultimately what’ll get you to something that’s really brief and useful.

John Jantsch: Well, as long as we’re quoting writers, my famous … My favorite, should say, Hemingway quote, “Write drunk, edit sober.”

Ann Handley: Yes, yes. I ended up doing drink coasters with that. Did I tell you that?

John Jantsch: No, no.

Ann Handley: Yeah, I did. Because we had that conversation out in Denver, yeah.

John Jantsch: Let’s dive into a couple of … I think we’ve maybe talked to death the setup of why people should be writing and why this book’s important, but I do want to spend a little time on some of the book parts. The way you’ve broken the book up I think is great and I’m not going to go chapter by chapter, but I’ll just throw a couple of my favorites out there at you. I think we probably talked about this, too, because I tell anybody who would listen, one of my favorite books is “Bird by Bird” by Anne Lamott.

Ann Handley: Oh yeah. Mine, too.

John Jantsch: She has an entire chapter, I’m going to ruin my PG rating, but I’m going to read it directly. It’s shitty first drafts, and you talk about that idea of ugly first drafts, and I know that’s been a very powerful thought for me where you just let it rip first. Don’t edit yourself. That’s the “write drunk” part. Get it down.

Ann Handley: Yes. Yeah, Mark Twain has a saying about that, too. No actually, it’s not Mark Twain, it’s Stephen King. Stephen King says, “Write with the door closed, edit with the door open.” I really like that whole idea. First, you’re writing with the door closed, in other words, you’re just writing for yourself. You’re producing that ugly first draft, like I call it in my book, or Anne Lamott’s shitty first draft. But then write with the door open, so that’s the point where you swap places with your reader, and think, as I was just saying, “What kind of experience is this creating for them? Am I using the right words here? Am I indulging myself a little too much and not thinking too much about the reader and what they’re getting out of it?”

Because ultimately, you want to communicate with real clarity and so if it lacks clarity, then that’s the point where you can get to it. But I think that first step, the ugly first draft step, just letting it rip as you said, I think it’s great if you just let yourself off the hook. Write badly, but at least you’re writing.

John Jantsch: Yeah, because … I don’t know about you, but sometimes it’s so hard for me to get started that if I just start writing nonsense, I will eventually get around to what I’m supposed to be talking about, and I think that’s part of it.

Ann Handley: Yeah. One of my tricks, too, and I talk about this in the book, but writing it like a letter. There are a lot of writers who write like, “Dear mom,” for example, as a way to start. For me, it’s a lot easier for me to write an email or a letter than it is to write just to sit at a blank page. I talked to Michael Brenner who used to be at SAP, and is now at Newscred, and he writes all of his blog posts as emails. In part, because it just gives him a cleaner interface, so it doesn’t get [jugged 00:19:32] up with lots of stuff, but it’s also just a nice way to think about that, right? If you’re just writing an email to somebody, no one gets email block. You don’t get shopping list block, or you don’t get-

John Jantsch: That’s right.

Ann Handley: … you know, that kind of block. But writer’s block feels like something that people struggle with. I know it’s great to just take the writing out of it and just make a list or write an email, or something like that.

John Jantsch: I’m guessing you’ve got shoe boxes full of diaries that you’ve filled out. Those little key locks. Did you have brothers?

Ann Handley: I had one brother, yes.

John Jantsch: Yeah, okay, so he was probably constantly digging for that key lock.

Ann Handley: I’ll tell you a funny thing, actually. I only have one diary and I really struggle to fill it up. Because to me, I never liked the process of just writing for myself. I mean, now I have a Moleskine that I keep as a journal but mostly what I do is I write down, I just jot down ideas. But what I did do as a kid, because I wasn’t a kid who kept a diary, again, because it felt useless to write for myself. I always wanted an audience of some kind, so what I did is I took out, I applied for all these pen pals all around the world. I don’t know if you remember?

John Jantsch: Yes.

Ann Handley: But it used to be like it was hard to get a pen pal back then. I mean now it’s super easy.

John Jantsch: Plus it took three weeks to get your letter to them.

Ann Handley: Yeah, exactly. I had about, I don’t know, seven or eight pen pals all around the world, from the time that I was eight years old until I was about … I don’t know. Until I got interested in other things, but I used to just write to them all the time. Interestingly, when I wrote to them I was always a different person and I had a different name. I was a very odd child as you’re getting out of this story, but the idea is that I used to keep basically notebooks full of details about my life that I was communicating to my pen pals all around the world.

It was David in Australia, there was somebody in Malaysia. I had them all over the place. If you think about that, it’s sort of funny. It ties exactly into..

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seo90210 · 7 years

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Ann Handley: Well, thank you John. I’m super excited to be here, so thanks for having me.

John Jantsch: So I’m going to start really early in the book. I’m going to start a sentence and you have to finish it, okay? You ready?

Ann Handley: Okay, I’m ready.

John Jantsch: “Spread your arms and hold your breath,” and?

Ann Handley: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

John Jantsch: Your dedication. You didn’t even know this probably, but your dedication is a line from a Guy Clark song, “Always Trust Your Cape.”

Ann Handley: Oh, I’m sorry.

John Jantsch: And the lead up to that, first mention of that in “Always Trust Your Cape” is “Spread your arms and hold your breath.”

Ann Handley: I can’t believe you knew that. This is like, I don’t think anybody knows that. I didn’t think anybody would. Yes, exactly. That is exactly from that. That’s an amazing song.

John Jantsch: I’m a music nut and so if you’re going to use music lyrics on me, you can expect I’m going to give you the history of the song or something.

Ann Handley: Oh, that’s awesome. I can’t believe I just blew that. Did you hear my stunned silence?

John Jantsch: You know, the story that goes on in that song, too, of course, is he did not know he couldn’t fly and so he did, right?

Ann Handley: Right. I’m welling up just talking to you, John.

John Jantsch: Sorry, sorry.

Ann Handley: Because that is such an emotional thing for me. Ridiculous.

John Jantsch: Now, I know the answer to this but I still feel compelled to ask you this. In this Vine and Snapchat and YouTube world, does anybody really care about writing anymore?

John Jantsch: It’s funny. In one of my earlier books, an editor numerous times, and he was actually my favorite editor. I’ve had actually four different editors on my four-

Ann Handley: Wow.

Ann Handley: I hope so. Either that or they get incredibly offended, but I hope they think it’s funny.

Ann Handley: Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, that’s absolutely true. I mean, there’s a byproduct-

John Jantsch: So you are a snob? That’s what I’m really getting at.

John Jantsch: Yeah, and I think that from a practical standpoint, I started blogging in 2003 and I think there were 12 or 13 other blogs, so people had to read what I wrote.

Ann Handley: Exactly, exactly.

Ann Handley: Yeah, exactly.

John Jantsch: And I think that’s a big part of what you’re saying, as well.

Ann Handley: Yeah, right. There’s that famous, was it Pascal quote? “I didn’t have time to write a shorter letter.”

John Jantsch: Yeah, exactly.

Ann Handley: It’s like that kind of thing. Yeah, but you know, I think what’s inherent with that-

John Jantsch: I always attributed that to Mark Twain. I thought that was Mark Twain.

Ann Handley: I think it was originally Pascal but I think Twain probably stole it from him, which was probably by him. I don’t know. You should probably look that up in case you link to it.

John Jantsch: I will, I will.

John Jantsch: Well, as long as we’re quoting writers, my famous … My favorite, should say, Hemingway quote, “Write drunk, edit sober.”

Ann Handley: Yes, yes. I ended up doing drink coasters with that. Did I tell you that?

John Jantsch: No, no.

Ann Handley: Yeah, I did. Because we had that conversation out in Denver, yeah.

Ann Handley: Oh yeah. Mine, too.

John Jantsch: That’s right.

John Jantsch: I’m guessing you’ve got shoe boxes full of diaries that you’ve filled out. Those little key locks. Did you have brothers?

Ann Handley: I had one brother, yes.

John Jantsch: Yeah, okay, so he was probably constantly digging for that key lock.

John Jantsch: Yes.

Ann Handley: But it used to be like it was hard to get a pen pal back then. I mean now it’s super easy.

John Jantsch: Plus it took three weeks to get your letter to them.

It was David in Australia, there was somebody in Malaysia. I had them all over the place. If you think about that, it’s sort of funny. It ties exactly into..

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seopt58147 · 7 years

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Ann Handley: Well, thank you John. I’m super excited to be here, so thanks for having me.

John Jantsch: So I’m going to start really early in the book. I’m going to start a sentence and you have to finish it, okay? You ready?

Ann Handley: Okay, I’m ready.

John Jantsch: “Spread your arms and hold your breath,” and?

Ann Handley: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

John Jantsch: Your dedication. You didn’t even know this probably, but your dedication is a line from a Guy Clark song, “Always Trust Your Cape.”

Ann Handley: Oh, I’m sorry.

John Jantsch: And the lead up to that, first mention of that in “Always Trust Your Cape” is “Spread your arms and hold your breath.”

Ann Handley: I can’t believe you knew that. This is like, I don’t think anybody knows that. I didn’t think anybody would. Yes, exactly. That is exactly from that. That’s an amazing song.

John Jantsch: I’m a music nut and so if you’re going to use music lyrics on me, you can expect I’m going to give you the history of the song or something.

Ann Handley: Oh, that’s awesome. I can’t believe I just blew that. Did you hear my stunned silence?

John Jantsch: You know, the story that goes on in that song, too, of course, is he did not know he couldn’t fly and so he did, right?

Ann Handley: Right. I’m welling up just talking to you, John.

John Jantsch: Sorry, sorry.

Ann Handley: Because that is such an emotional thing for me. Ridiculous.

John Jantsch: Now, I know the answer to this but I still feel compelled to ask you this. In this Vine and Snapchat and YouTube world, does anybody really care about writing anymore?

John Jantsch: It’s funny. In one of my earlier books, an editor numerous times, and he was actually my favorite editor. I’ve had actually four different editors on my four-

Ann Handley: Wow.

Ann Handley: I hope so. Either that or they get incredibly offended, but I hope they think it’s funny.

Ann Handley: Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, that’s absolutely true. I mean, there’s a byproduct-

John Jantsch: So you are a snob? That’s what I’m really getting at.

John Jantsch: Yeah, and I think that from a practical standpoint, I started blogging in 2003 and I think there were 12 or 13 other blogs, so people had to read what I wrote.

Ann Handley: Exactly, exactly.

Ann Handley: Yeah, exactly.

John Jantsch: And I think that’s a big part of what you’re saying, as well.

Ann Handley: Yeah, right. There’s that famous, was it Pascal quote? “I didn’t have time to write a shorter letter.”

John Jantsch: Yeah, exactly.

Ann Handley: It’s like that kind of thing. Yeah, but you know, I think what’s inherent with that-

John Jantsch: I always attributed that to Mark Twain. I thought that was Mark Twain.

Ann Handley: I think it was originally Pascal but I think Twain probably stole it from him, which was probably by him. I don’t know. You should probably look that up in case you link to it.

John Jantsch: I will, I will.

John Jantsch: Well, as long as we’re quoting writers, my famous … My favorite, should say, Hemingway quote, “Write drunk, edit sober.”

Ann Handley: Yes, yes. I ended up doing drink coasters with that. Did I tell you that?

John Jantsch: No, no.

Ann Handley: Yeah, I did. Because we had that conversation out in Denver, yeah.

Ann Handley: Oh yeah. Mine, too.

John Jantsch: That’s right.

John Jantsch: I’m guessing you’ve got shoe boxes full of diaries that you’ve filled out. Those little key locks. Did you have brothers?

Ann Handley: I had one brother, yes.

John Jantsch: Yeah, okay, so he was probably constantly digging for that key lock.

John Jantsch: Yes.

Ann Handley: But it used to be like it was hard to get a pen pal back then. I mean now it’s super easy.

John Jantsch: Plus it took three weeks to get your letter to them.

It was David in Australia, there was somebody in Malaysia. I had them all over the place. If you think about that, it’s sort of funny. It ties exactly into..

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seo53703 · 7 years

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Transcript of How to Create Ridiculously Good Content

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Ann Handley: Well, thank you John. I’m super excited to be here, so thanks for having me.

John Jantsch: So I’m going to start really early in the book. I’m going to start a sentence and you have to finish it, okay? You ready?

Ann Handley: Okay, I’m ready.

John Jantsch: “Spread your arms and hold your breath,” and?

Ann Handley: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

John Jantsch: Your dedication. You didn’t even know this probably, but your dedication is a line from a Guy Clark song, “Always Trust Your Cape.”

Ann Handley: Oh, I’m sorry.

John Jantsch: And the lead up to that, first mention of that in “Always Trust Your Cape” is “Spread your arms and hold your breath.”

Ann Handley: I can’t believe you knew that. This is like, I don’t think anybody knows that. I didn’t think anybody would. Yes, exactly. That is exactly from that. That’s an amazing song.

John Jantsch: I’m a music nut and so if you’re going to use music lyrics on me, you can expect I’m going to give you the history of the song or something.

Ann Handley: Oh, that’s awesome. I can’t believe I just blew that. Did you hear my stunned silence?

John Jantsch: You know, the story that goes on in that song, too, of course, is he did not know he couldn’t fly and so he did, right?

Ann Handley: Right. I’m welling up just talking to you, John.

John Jantsch: Sorry, sorry.

Ann Handley: Because that is such an emotional thing for me. Ridiculous.

John Jantsch: Now, I know the answer to this but I still feel compelled to ask you this. In this Vine and Snapchat and YouTube world, does anybody really care about writing anymore?

John Jantsch: It’s funny. In one of my earlier books, an editor numerous times, and he was actually my favorite editor. I’ve had actually four different editors on my four-

Ann Handley: Wow.

Ann Handley: I hope so. Either that or they get incredibly offended, but I hope they think it’s funny.

Ann Handley: Yeah. That’s really interesting. Yeah, I think it’s absolutely true. I think strong writing is strong thinking. I think if you work on being a better writer, really what does that mean? That means that you are doing all kinds of things. From a psychological standpoint, but at the same time, you’re really making it extremely … You have a lot of empathy really for your audience. Whether that audience is somebody you’re trying to sell to or whether it��s somebody you are speaking to, you’re on stage delivering some sort of speech or presentation, or whether it’s the person who is reading the book that you just wrote.

Ann Handley: Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, that’s absolutely true. I mean, there’s a byproduct-

John Jantsch: So you are a snob? That’s what I’m really getting at.

John Jantsch: Yeah, and I think that from a practical standpoint, I started blogging in 2003 and I think there were 12 or 13 other blogs, so people had to read what I wrote.

Ann Handley: Exactly, exactly.

Ann Handley: Yeah, exactly.

John Jantsch: And I think that’s a big part of what you’re saying, as well.

Ann Handley: Yeah, right. There’s that famous, was it Pascal quote? “I didn’t have time to write a shorter letter.”

John Jantsch: Yeah, exactly.

Ann Handley: It’s like that kind of thing. Yeah, but you know, I think what’s inherent with that-

John Jantsch: I always attributed that to Mark Twain. I thought that was Mark Twain.

Ann Handley: I think it was originally Pascal but I think Twain probably stole it from him, which was probably by him. I don’t know. You should probably look that up in case you link to it.

John Jantsch: I will, I will.

John Jantsch: Well, as long as we’re quoting writers, my famous … My favorite, should say, Hemingway quote, “Write drunk, edit sober.”

Ann Handley: Yes, yes. I ended up doing drink coasters with that. Did I tell you that?

John Jantsch: No, no.

Ann Handley: Yeah, I did. Because we had that conversation out in Denver, yeah.

Ann Handley: Oh yeah. Mine, too.

John Jantsch: That’s right.

John Jantsch: I’m guessing you’ve got shoe boxes full of diaries that you’ve filled out. Those little key locks. Did you have brothers?

Ann Handley: I had one brother, yes.

John Jantsch: Yeah, okay, so he was probably constantly digging for that key lock.

John Jantsch: Yes.

Ann Handley: But it used to be like it was hard to get a pen pal back then. I mean now it’s super easy.

John Jantsch: Plus it took three weeks to get your letter to them.

It was David in Australia, there was somebody in Malaysia. I had them all over the place. If you think about that, it’s sort of funny. It ties exactly into..

http://ift.tt/2x46x1J

#Transcript of How to Create Ridiculously Good Content

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vidmarket32514 · 7 years

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Transcript of How to Create Ridiculously Good Content

Transcript of How to Create Ridiculously Good Content written by John Jantsch read more at Duct Tape Marketing

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Ann Handley: Well, thank you John. I’m super excited to be here, so thanks for having me.

John Jantsch: So I’m going to start really early in the book. I’m going to start a sentence and you have to finish it, okay? You ready?

Ann Handley: Okay, I’m ready.

John Jantsch: “Spread your arms and hold your breath,” and?

Ann Handley: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

John Jantsch: Your dedication. You didn’t even know this probably, but your dedication is a line from a Guy Clark song, “Always Trust Your Cape.”

Ann Handley: Oh, I’m sorry.

John Jantsch: And the lead up to that, first mention of that in “Always Trust Your Cape” is “Spread your arms and hold your breath.”

Ann Handley: I can’t believe you knew that. This is like, I don’t think anybody knows that. I didn’t think anybody would. Yes, exactly. That is exactly from that. That’s an amazing song.

John Jantsch: I’m a music nut and so if you’re going to use music lyrics on me, you can expect I’m going to give you the history of the song or something.

Ann Handley: Oh, that’s awesome. I can’t believe I just blew that. Did you hear my stunned silence?

John Jantsch: You know, the story that goes on in that song, too, of course, is he did not know he couldn’t fly and so he did, right?

Ann Handley: Right. I’m welling up just talking to you, John.

John Jantsch: Sorry, sorry.

Ann Handley: Because that is such an emotional thing for me. Ridiculous.

John Jantsch: Now, I know the answer to this but I still feel compelled to ask you this. In this Vine and Snapchat and YouTube world, does anybody really care about writing anymore?

John Jantsch: It’s funny. In one of my earlier books, an editor numerous times, and he was actually my favorite editor. I’ve had actually four different editors on my four-

Ann Handley: Wow.

Ann Handley: I hope so. Either that or they get incredibly offended, but I hope they think it’s funny.

Ann Handley: Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, that’s absolutely true. I mean, there’s a byproduct-

John Jantsch: So you are a snob? That’s what I’m really getting at.

John Jantsch: Yeah, and I think that from a practical standpoint, I started blogging in 2003 and I think there were 12 or 13 other blogs, so people had to read what I wrote.

Ann Handley: Exactly, exactly.

Ann Handley: Yeah, exactly.

John Jantsch: And I think that’s a big part of what you’re saying, as well.

Ann Handley: Yeah, right. There’s that famous, was it Pascal quote? “I didn’t have time to write a shorter letter.”

John Jantsch: Yeah, exactly.

Ann Handley: It’s like that kind of thing. Yeah, but you know, I think what’s inherent with that-

John Jantsch: I always attributed that to Mark Twain. I thought that was Mark Twain.

Ann Handley: I think it was originally Pascal but I think Twain probably stole it from him, which was probably by him. I don’t know. You should probably look that up in case you link to it.

John Jantsch: I will, I will.

John Jantsch: Well, as long as we’re quoting writers, my famous … My favorite, should say, Hemingway quote, “Write drunk, edit sober.”

Ann Handley: Yes, yes. I ended up doing drink coasters with that. Did I tell you that?

John Jantsch: No, no.

Ann Handley: Yeah, I did. Because we had that conversation out in Denver, yeah.

Ann Handley: Oh yeah. Mine, too.

John Jantsch: That’s right.

John Jantsch: I’m guessing you’ve got shoe boxes full of diaries that you’ve filled out. Those little key locks. Did you have brothers?

Ann Handley: I had one brother, yes.

John Jantsch: Yeah, okay, so he was probably constantly digging for that key lock.

John Jantsch: Yes.

Ann Handley: But it used to be like it was hard to get a pen pal back then. I mean now it’s super easy.

John Jantsch: Plus it took three weeks to get your letter to them.

It was David in Australia, there was somebody in Malaysia. I had them all over the place. If you think about that, it’s sort of funny. It ties exactly into..

http://ift.tt/2x46x1J

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personalinjurylawyer93555 · 7 years

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Transcript of How to Create Ridiculously Good Content

Transcript of How to Create Ridiculously Good Content written by John Jantsch read more at Duct Tape Marketing

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Transcript

Ann Handley: Well, thank you John. I’m super excited to be here, so thanks for having me.

John Jantsch: So I’m going to start really early in the book. I’m going to start a sentence and you have to finish it, okay? You ready?

Ann Handley: Okay, I’m ready.

John Jantsch: “Spread your arms and hold your breath,” and?

Ann Handley: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

John Jantsch: Your dedication. You didn’t even know this probably, but your dedication is a line from a Guy Clark song, “Always Trust Your Cape.”

Ann Handley: Oh, I’m sorry.

John Jantsch: And the lead up to that, first mention of that in “Always Trust Your Cape” is “Spread your arms and hold your breath.”

Ann Handley: I can’t believe you knew that. This is like, I don’t think anybody knows that. I didn’t think anybody would. Yes, exactly. That is exactly from that. That’s an amazing song.

John Jantsch: I’m a music nut and so if you’re going to use music lyrics on me, you can expect I’m going to give you the history of the song or something.

Ann Handley: Oh, that’s awesome. I can’t believe I just blew that. Did you hear my stunned silence?

John Jantsch: You know, the story that goes on in that song, too, of course, is he did not know he couldn’t fly and so he did, right?

Ann Handley: Right. I’m welling up just talking to you, John.

John Jantsch: Sorry, sorry.

Ann Handley: Because that is such an emotional thing for me. Ridiculous.

John Jantsch: Now, I know the answer to this but I still feel compelled to ask you this. In this Vine and Snapchat and YouTube world, does anybody really care about writing anymore?

John Jantsch: It’s funny. In one of my earlier books, an editor numerous times, and he was actually my favorite editor. I’ve had actually four different editors on my four-

Ann Handley: Wow.

Ann Handley: I hope so. Either that or they get incredibly offended, but I hope they think it’s funny.

Ann Handley: Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, that’s absolutely true. I mean, there’s a byproduct-

John Jantsch: So you are a snob? That’s what I’m really getting at.

John Jantsch: Yeah, and I think that from a practical standpoint, I started blogging in 2003 and I think there were 12 or 13 other blogs, so people had to read what I wrote.

Ann Handley: Exactly, exactly.

Ann Handley: Yeah, exactly.

John Jantsch: And I think that’s a big part of what you’re saying, as well.

Ann Handley: Yeah, right. There’s that famous, was it Pascal quote? “I didn’t have time to write a shorter letter.”

John Jantsch: Yeah, exactly.

Ann Handley: It’s like that kind of thing. Yeah, but you know, I think what’s inherent with that-

John Jantsch: I always attributed that to Mark Twain. I thought that was Mark Twain.

Ann Handley: I think it was originally Pascal but I think Twain probably stole it from him, which was probably by him. I don’t know. You should probably look that up in case you link to it.

John Jantsch: I will, I will.

John Jantsch: Well, as long as we’re quoting writers, my famous … My favorite, should say, Hemingway quote, “Write drunk, edit sober.”

Ann Handley: Yes, yes. I ended up doing drink coasters with that. Did I tell you that?

John Jantsch: No, no.

Ann Handley: Yeah, I did. Because we had that conversation out in Denver, yeah.

Ann Handley: Oh yeah. Mine, too.

John Jantsch: That’s right.

John Jantsch: I’m guessing you’ve got shoe boxes full of diaries that you’ve filled out. Those little key locks. Did you have brothers?

Ann Handley: I had one brother, yes.

John Jantsch: Yeah, okay, so he was probably constantly digging for that key lock.

John Jantsch: Yes.

Ann Handley: But it used to be like it was hard to get a pen pal back then. I mean now it’s super easy.

John Jantsch: Plus it took three weeks to get your letter to them.

It was David in Australia, there was somebody in Malaysia. I had them all over the place. If you think about that, it’s sort of funny. It ties exactly into..

http://ift.tt/2x46x1J

#Transcript of How to Create Ridiculously Good Content

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realestate63141 · 7 years

Text

Transcript of How to Create Ridiculously Good Content

Transcript of How to Create Ridiculously Good Content written by John Jantsch read more at Duct Tape Marketing

Back to Podcast

Transcript

Ann Handley: Well, thank you John. I’m super excited to be here, so thanks for having me.

John Jantsch: So I’m going to start really early in the book. I’m going to start a sentence and you have to finish it, okay? You ready?

Ann Handley: Okay, I’m ready.

John Jantsch: “Spread your arms and hold your breath,” and?

Ann Handley: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

John Jantsch: Your dedication. You didn’t even know this probably, but your dedication is a line from a Guy Clark song, “Always Trust Your Cape.”

Ann Handley: Oh, I’m sorry.

John Jantsch: And the lead up to that, first mention of that in “Always Trust Your Cape” is “Spread your arms and hold your breath.”

Ann Handley: I can’t believe you knew that. This is like, I don’t think anybody knows that. I didn’t think anybody would. Yes, exactly. That is exactly from that. That’s an amazing song.

John Jantsch: I’m a music nut and so if you’re going to use music lyrics on me, you can expect I’m going to give you the history of the song or something.

Ann Handley: Oh, that’s awesome. I can’t believe I just blew that. Did you hear my stunned silence?

John Jantsch: You know, the story that goes on in that song, too, of course, is he did not know he couldn’t fly and so he did, right?

Ann Handley: Right. I’m welling up just talking to you, John.

John Jantsch: Sorry, sorry.

Ann Handley: Because that is such an emotional thing for me. Ridiculous.

John Jantsch: Now, I know the answer to this but I still feel compelled to ask you this. In this Vine and Snapchat and YouTube world, does anybody really care about writing anymore?

John Jantsch: It’s funny. In one of my earlier books, an editor numerous times, and he was actually my favorite editor. I’ve had actually four different editors on my four-

Ann Handley: Wow.

Ann Handley: I hope so. Either that or they get incredibly offended, but I hope they think it’s funny.

Ann Handley: Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, that’s absolutely true. I mean, there’s a byproduct-

John Jantsch: So you are a snob? That’s what I’m really getting at.

John Jantsch: Yeah, and I think that from a practical standpoint, I started blogging in 2003 and I think there were 12 or 13 other blogs, so people had to read what I wrote.

Ann Handley: Exactly, exactly.

Ann Handley: Yeah, exactly.

John Jantsch: And I think that’s a big part of what you’re saying, as well.

Ann Handley: Yeah, right. There’s that famous, was it Pascal quote? “I didn’t have time to write a shorter letter.”

John Jantsch: Yeah, exactly.

Ann Handley: It’s like that kind of thing. Yeah, but you know, I think what’s inherent with that-

John Jantsch: I always attributed that to Mark Twain. I thought that was Mark Twain.

Ann Handley: I think it was originally Pascal but I think Twain probably stole it from him, which was probably by him. I don’t know. You should probably look that up in case you link to it.

John Jantsch: I will, I will.

John Jantsch: Well, as long as we’re quoting writers, my famous … My favorite, should say, Hemingway quote, “Write drunk, edit sober.”

Ann Handley: Yes, yes. I ended up doing drink coasters with that. Did I tell you that?

John Jantsch: No, no.

Ann Handley: Yeah, I did. Because we had that conversation out in Denver, yeah.

Ann Handley: Oh yeah. Mine, too.

John Jantsch: That’s right.

John Jantsch: I’m guessing you’ve got shoe boxes full of diaries that you’ve filled out. Those little key locks. Did you have brothers?

Ann Handley: I had one brother, yes.

John Jantsch: Yeah, okay, so he was probably constantly digging for that key lock.

John Jantsch: Yes.

Ann Handley: But it used to be like it was hard to get a pen pal back then. I mean now it’s super easy.

John Jantsch: Plus it took three weeks to get your letter to them.

It was David in Australia, there was somebody in Malaysia. I had them all over the place. If you think about that, it’s sort of funny. It ties exactly into..

http://ift.tt/2x46x1J

#Transcript of How to Create Ridiculously Good Content

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