#oh the fun of how terrifying high level dnd characters are to like Normal People

[savrenim]

Crucibles: The First Battle of the Rose Gun, As Told By A Letter From Private Avitus Sertor To Their Cousin

From: Private Avitus Sertor 3rd Legion c.Casque  14th Unit, Serae

To: Anita Sertor The Sertor Estate, Veteris

___________________

My dearest cousin,

I am sure that rumors are to be making their way back to Veteris soon, and I suspect they will not reflect the truth of what happened, as here the truth is more incredible than what stories they could tell. I wish to relate to you, and to the family, before my trembling hand forgets, what befell the 19th ereyesterday. 

As you know, I had been stationed with the 19th, one of ten units under Captain Casque on this part of the southern front. We were expecting a battle with a Surrian force of approximately equal strength, and the commanding officers knew about where, about when. It was a battle we expected to win, although not easily. There were whispers in the camp that someone of the Department of the Craftsman would be joining the battle for weapons testing. This struck me as odd, as I would have expected weapons development to take place within the Department of the General, but there were better things to do than question the veracity of the sort of wild rumors that appear before battles. 

This one, most surprisingly, was true.

Two days before the battle, a small delegation from the Department of the Craftsman arrived. A single Priest, although she had a strange title, Controller Strell, with her cargo of what appeared to be an exquisitely crafted cannon inlaid with rose gold, and an altar. The altar could be used to recharge the cannon, although she had brought with her two charges for field testing. They were constructed from rubies and more precious metals, worth perhaps more than the entire Sertor estate. 

After a brief strategy meeting with the officers, the entire 19th unit was assigned to follow her and follow her instructions. She was young, she couldn't have been older than her mid-thirties. I had expected, when it was confirmed that there was indeed an experimental weapon of the Department of the Craftsman being deployed on the field, that it was the civilian handler who would need protecting. She told our sergeant, and it was relayed to us, the opposite: we were there to protect the Rose Gun, as it was so named, and to not concern ourselves with what she was doing. There was something about how she held herself, more than the swords she carried or armor that she wore with the ease of familiarity, that indicated that this strange Priest—Controller Strell—could fight. 

Titus said that the two swords that she carried were proof that she had trained under Maldai Varricon, as none other held a fighting style so distinct. You will be able to verify that more easily than me, although perhaps at this time the rumors will have taken hold and eroded any basis the truth might have. She didn't even fight with them, she fought with…something else. But I am ahead of myself.

The day of the battle dawned to gray skies, and a light rain falling on us by the time we were taking our positions. The terrain was rocky, the ground hard-packed. There would be no danger of mud. We were situated next to the 14th, a slightly more veteran unit, along the left flank. Both armies had gathered, each a few hundred strong. With no more great fanfare, the battle began.

Controller Strell wasted very little time. She took the Rose Gun from the four who were carrying it, and instead of directing them, simply picked it up and repositioned it herself. She carefully inserted one of the two charges she had been carrying into the firing mechanism, aimed it, and began to operate it. 

It started with a low, thrumming hum, and a glow of red in the seams of the gold that lined it. The red got deeper and deeper until the intensity was too much to bear a gaze. A beam of the same light shot out, still too intense to look at. And then there was nothing to look at. Everything in its path was just…gone. Of course, soldiers towards the outer edges of the blast were thrown; some of them getting up, some of them not getting up. But the central beam had disintegrated everything it had touched. A dozen men or more, simply not there anymore, no blood or bones or armor or water in the air; and a deep gouge—not a crater, but a line, a rip in the ground, where not even the tight-packed earth had been able to withstand the blast. 

Presumably pleased with the results of her field test, without even drawing her swords, Controller Strell plunged through the hole in the Surrian lines to fight in their midst.  

I think she must have had some true blades on her, although not of any sort I had seen before, because with twists of her wrist I swore that there were flashes of steel on her arms, and three Surrians down in a matter of seconds. She dodged past another, catching them in the shoulder, and I swear to you, cousin, as far-fetched as the claim might seem, she reached out to the spray of blood as if to catch it, and she did. The blood consolidated into a sword in her hands. She had instantly whipped it around, slashing the throat of another soldier, and drawing another sword from their lifeblood: a darker, sharper reflection of the sheathed pair of swords still on her waist. I did not see much after that, as we had gathered around the Rose Gun to do our duty, protect it with our lives; but given the gaping hole in the Surrian ranks, I suspect she was doing more damage than the entire unit would have done if we had been given the instructions of a normal battle. I could also see why she had told us not to follow her. She had rapidly disappeared within their ranks giving no concern about whether or not she might be surrounded. What would have been a fatal tactical error for a unit seemed to her to simply be more targets in her reach.

This continued for some time, until our banners arose to signal our retreat. Controller Strell emerged from the bloodbath appearing completely unscathed, and returned to the Rose Gun as we moved it back towards the 14th along the left flank. I was situated near enough to see her face, and she looked completely calm, almost bored. Perhaps mildly disappointed. There was no sign whatsoever in her visage or stance that the battle so far would even be considered an exertion for her. The swords of blood she dropped; the twin swords at her waist were still undrawn. 

Captain Casque was with the 14th, and we watched as she made her way towards him, unconcerned with the battle around. Caepio claims that he was standing there, that he heard it all. She asked why there was a retreat. Captain Casque informed her that a scout had just reported there was a full unit of Schwetknecht dwarves over the hill. 

It should have been over there, a battle lost; as the unlucky ones positioned along the left flank, the 14th and 19th would be sacrificed to slow them down that the rest might retreat. That we were winning against the Surrians, would turn to a complete rout, a slaughter, if the dwarven mercenaries got behind us, and no Caedic unit was prepared to hold against them. Retreat was the only option; the only question was had it been sounded quickly enough. 

Caepio says she didn't visibly react. That she said, "Oh, that's all? The Rose Gun and I will take care of it." Caepio says the Captain didn't even hesitate; didn't question her at all. He simply turned and ordered the 14th and the 19th to hold the line behind her, and then signaled to stop the retreat. The rest of the army returned to engaging with the Surrians, and we turned to face what should have been our doom.

We had barely the time to get in position, when the Schwetknecht unit charged down the hill. It was one of the larger mercenary units, eighty, perhaps a hundred strong. Controller Strell neither flinched nor hesitated, but instead positioned her Rose Gun that it would cut through the center of the charge, and fired it. The blast was just as deep and bright, the gouge in the hill just as striking, and at least a dozen of the enemy must have been full caught in the blast; yet while it slowed the charge, it did not stop it. I saw myself a dwarf towards the edge of its range lose an arm and not slow down.

Still, the blast was enough to disrupt the momentum of the first charge, and the Caedic line held. We scrambled to draw the Rose Gun back behind our lines into a defensible position. She charged forwards again out of our line and straight towards their wall of tower shields. It seemed for a moment that she might be tripped on the thin metal whips that the second line of Schwetknecht fighters from behind the shields used, but at most they slowed her a handful of seconds. There was a—I don't want to call it a device, but there was something built into her armor, tubes that seemed to snake around and under the fastenings and into her skin. I'd gotten a few good looks at it when I had been standing closer to her, before. They looked like they might contain liquid, I didn't want to think harder about what. Even from my position behind her, I could see it: the lines began to glow and pulse with a strange gray light. She simply charged past and through the impenetrable wall of shields. 

We did not see her anymore from where we were holding. I was positioned in the second row of soldiers, closer to the Rose Gun, defending it still. The Caedic line had held out against the first charge surprisingly well. We had not yet broken to their coordinated attack now from behind the shields, but we had no hope of winning, of driving them back. I was so sure she was dead, so glad that we had been ordered to stay with the Gun instead of following her behind enemy lines. Of the 14th and the 19th here in this fight, being next to the Rose Gun seemed to be shaping up as the safest position. 

Then there was a string of horn-notes blown, and for a second, I thought the Schwetknecht were for some reason retreating: a number of the frontline warriors with tower shields withdrew. But they did not retreat, they instead formed a circle well within the dwarven ranks. With a chill, I realized what was happening. They were surrounding her. They had called back shieldbearers from the front lines to try to trap her. 

Whatever their tactics, it lessened the pressure on us. The Caedic line held. I could not spare the time to glance across the rest of the battlefield, it was all we could do to hold, but we held. 

Seconds passed, maybe minutes. Multiple times that horn sounded, sometimes signaling more warriors to withdraw or just re-shuffle within their ranks, all concentrated on that circle of tower shields. The Caedic line most likely would have fallen if they had pushed an advance, but they could not advance; instead, they were forced to face the death in their midst. We held. 

There stopped being a first and second line of Caedic soldiers, just one desperate stretch of us, still standing against the Schwetknecht fighters. Dainus to my right was struck down. We were backed up almost directly to the Rose Gun itself, but I remembered what we had been told by that Priest—by Controller Strell—that we were to protect the Rose Gun with more than our lives. In that moment, I feared her more than I feared the dwarves. We stood and fought.

In the end, they didn't reach the Rose Gun. Another sequence of horn-notes sounded out, and they began a retreat, a proper one this time. As they parted, she stood there, blood all around her and swords still singing viciously. A single warrior—they commander—remained to hold her off so the rest of them could retreat. Controller Strell tore forward, dodging, it looked like purposefully taking a blow to the side, her swords shattering into a rain of liquid and reforming beyond the dwarf's weapons as she brought the dwarf to their knees, struck the killing blow. This time, at least, she looked as if she had fought: her armor, her skin covered in blood and dirt, and her hair had come free partially from where she had tied it back. Her chest was heaving, the only motion left, the sole standing silhouette on that hill. And then she straightened her back and turned towards us and the rest of the field to survey the end of the battle.

Caepio says that from within her wounds, her blood glowed a brighter red, and then they healed themselves. I am not sure I believe him, but certainly no one saw her in the medical tents afterwards. 

It was after she began walking back towards us that my eyes were drawn to what she had been standing on: there were a pile of bodies around her, a streak of destruction just as evident as the scar in the hill itself that her Rose Gun had left. There were well more than a dozen dead in her trail. Shield-bearers, front line fighters, warriors, their commander—all dead around her, and she walked towards us, easily and on her own two feet. For a moment I thought she had turned to me directly, and then I realized that she was simply ascertaining that the Rose Gun was safe. I had never felt more relieved that we had followed orders, that we had protected that weapon with everything we had and more, than to have seen any form of displeasure on that face in that moment. She continued past us, looking out to the rest of the battle, and I realized that the fighting was over for us, we could turn around. Below, the Caedic army had pushed the Surrians into a rout. We had won.

We had won. Cousin, this should have been a major defeat, more severe than we had seen on this line in years, with the Schwetknecht charge unforseen that would have cut off even a retreat; but instead, we had won. The 14th and the 19th and her had stood against a company of one hundred Schwetknecht dwarves and we'd held.

She did not stay very long after that. She had performed the tests she'd needed, I suppose. There are many rumors going around the camp about her. The name that is tossed around the most is Iria Strell. One soldier swears that a Lieutenant Strell took down a Surrian fortress with Arcadia Dominus, a few years back. Another said that Consecrated Priest Strell is well known for innovations within the Department of the Craftsman as one of their youngest Priests, and that she was responsible for Legionary Captain Metrin Galseii's return to the front with a mechanical leg. But there is another consensus spreading around the camp, whispers from the officers who were privy to the dispatch orders. They say  the reason she was here alone with that important of a weapon, the reason why Captain Casque didn't even hesitate to follow her suggestion on the battlefield— it was that the Bishop Trebonius's Retainer in the flesh was the one who had been deployed.

Titus thinks she had to come herself instead of a handler being sent because she'd built the Rose Gun from scratch and was the only one who could fire it. She certainly seemed to know what she was doing adjusting it, and I certainly don't think it would have been easy to operate such a complex piece of machinery. But Caepio thinks that wasn't all. Caepio thinks that she was the weapon that was being tested. All I can see in my mind's eye were those strange thin tubes running under her armor, and the gray light. The Rose Gun took out perhaps twenty, thirty enemy soldiers in that battle. She took out more. We saw what she did to the Surrians, but none of us saw what she did inside that circle of dwarves. Only the carnage afterwards. I will never underestimate, or scoff at, the Department of the Craftsman again. Sixty Caedic soldiers, two units, held against a full Schwetknecht detachment, and I am not deluded enough to think that it was because of us.

The 19th was dissolved, and folded into the 14th; there were only one unit's worth left of us in the end. The rumors about us are apparently spreading. Relay to the rest of the family that I was one of the survivors. That I fought behind Controller Strell—Retainer Strell—and helped deliver victory to our Empire on that day.

Yours, Avitus

[amphii-writes]

Random Haikyuu Head Canons I Have

these are all taken from my discord server cause i remember to write them there, if you want to request fanfics, my requests are W I D E open! there is also nO order! these are just all the headcanons i could find tbh

warnings: mentions of blood, and just overall wild times, swearing

Asahi loves knitting sweaters because his shoulders are broad and he also loves seeing the reactions from his teammates when they get a sweater from him! He says he buys them but he doesn’t

Aone likes knitting socks because he has big feet and he loves fluffy knee high socks but his team will never know

Asahi and Aone regularly hang out and knit together! (after asahi wasnt scared of him anyways)

Nishinoya gives you shiny rocks he finds because “your eyes shine like them!”

Yamaguchi likes to have your head rest on his chest while cuddling!

Aone likes to bake

Aone dressed like a polar bear because koganegawa told him to- halloween was amazing

daICHI HAS A KISS THE COOK APRON

Daichi secretly can make some kick ass steak and is amazing at grilling sorry

Okay but real talk, Kenma and Yaku swear like sailors and it scares everyone because they always whisper the most foul, insulting things under their breath. Hearing it is like seeing a cryptid

Speaking of cryptids, Fukunaga and Shibayama are THE most true crime, mythology, and mystery obsessed fanatics on the team and often fanboy about it together 

Fukunaga’s obsession with moth man has gotten to an unhealthy stage

Kenma absolutely had a vampire phase and has read twilight. Only Kuroo knows and has sworn to secrecy via blood pact

Kuroo’s a musical nerd. Knows all of the lyrics to Hamilton, BMC, DEH, Heathers, Rent, Beetlejuice, Etc. Kenma considered dropping him because of it

Iwaizumi tells the worst dad jokes and Kyotani, wanting to beat him, started doing it too and it drives everyone insane

Yahaba and Matsukawa get along surprisingly well. Both are true crime freaks and bond over their forensic files obsessions

Matsukawa didn’t really like his thick eyebrows so he got one of his female friends to pluck it for him, but almost cried and gave up after the first hair. Oikawa called him a pussy for the next year

Hanamaki jokingly flirts with everyone on the team so most of them just got used to it, but it still confuses Kindaichi to the point of mental breakdown

Makki called Kyotani ‘puppy’ as a joke once and now mad dog is truly terrified of him

Kyotani’s dog absolutely ADORES Oikawa and it’s the funniest shit to the rest of the team

Mattsun and Makki play DnD and once convinced Yahaba and Kyotani to join. Kyotani kept rolling to fight everyone and Yahaba was a bard that kept rolling to seduce everyone. They kept yelling across the board so they had to kick them out

Outside of his school uniform, Goshiki specifically wears only plaid

Tendou makes little chocolates for the whole team every once in a while so they don’t think he’s scary

Semi and Shirabu once had a fistfight in an abandoned McDonald’s parking lot while Tendou filmed and Goshiki cheered them on

Everybody makes fun of Shirabu’s haircut but nobody dares to say it to his face. its gotten to the point where they say he got it done by a blind old lady

There’s a running joke about Shirabu also getting his haircut from prison but Goshiki is starting to suspect that it may not be a joke

Yamagata and Tendou are good friends with the mutual goal of collecting as much blackmail on their team as possible

Tendou loves animals generally considered to be ‘ugly’ like rats, crows, reptiles, etc.

80% of Goshiki’s playlist is shit overplayed on the radio. Him, Shirabu, Tendou, Kawanishi and Ushijima have a permanent ban from the aux cord

Nobody watches YouTube with Ushijima because he never skips the damn ads (other than tendou)

Suna once said y’all’dn’t’ve unironically and made a first year cry

Akagi once said UwU unironically and had an identity crisis.

Osamu has one of those rainbow gaming keyboards and is constantly on a discord call. Atsumu always yells weird shit in the background to embarrass him and once pretended to be him

During Seijoh group chat arguments. Hanamaki and Mattsukawa like to drop facebook minion memes in just to piss everyone off even more

mattsun and maki both have separate photo albums in their phones labelled ‘minion memes to piss everyone off’

Hinata carries a pocket knife and no one has no fucking idea why

mattsun and maki both have matching rat fursuits that look like they actually where in a sewer- they chased oikawa around

For all his talk of plant analogies and metaphors, Ushijima cant grow shit

Goshiki’s Bangs are the way they are because his favorite character was Rock Lee from Naruto

Oikawa has watched Ouran High School Host Club front to back so many times and he can quote all of Tamaki’s lines by heart -He keeps bothering Iwaizumi to “be his Haruhi, since you’re shorter than me”

Koganegawa has definitely gone as an Angry Bird for Halloween

Fukunaga has those reflective cat eyes, and he has terrified Yamamoto on several occasion

Hanamaki and Matsukawa have a teddy bear that they pretend is their child and they share custody

Suga always sprays whipped cream straight into his mouth whenever he sees a can

Nishinoya definitely bit people as a kid

Nishinoya would be the guy to wear shorts all year round and even if it's snowing, he'll insist he's not cold

Tendou is still stuck in his emo phase and would fangirl over Creepypasta with me and I appreciate that (me too buddy, me fuckin too)

Kyoutani LOOKS like he’d listen to viking death metal, but in reality he listens to Mother Mother and knows all the words to Ghosting

Sugawara would definitely encourage me to dumb shit and not stop me, and you’re all dumb for thinking he wouldn’t 

KENMA IS NOT ‘uwu owo’ SHY, HE IS ‘your fucking gross’ SHY SO LITERALLY STFU

Bokuto listens to Nicki Manaj. And knows all the words. To every. Single. Song.

Ushijima for some reason knows an odd amount of 90′s-2000′s R&B and he will hum along to the songs if they come on the radio (he also loves Dolly Parton) ((he says he relates to her music))

Bokuto once ate instant ramen for an entire month

TERUSHIMA DID TRY TO FUCK A PLANT WHILE SHITFACED AND GOD I STAND BY WHAT I SAID

atsumu let’s you put makeup on him and pretends to eat the brushes (do yk what im talking about- like n o m)

tendou ran for school president as a joke but actually won

i 100% believe that all of karasuno’s third years apologize when they bump into inanimate objects, but when suga is really tired or stressed out, he’ll yell at them instead.

Tanaka, Nishinoya, and Taketora have a group chat called "Bros who want sum hoes" and they send each other hypebeast memes and shit

Sugawara knows how to do a bunch of flexible shit because he sometimes goes to yoga with daichi and asahi's moms, its fucking hilarious

tanaka and noya both breakdance- they work as a team and sometimes go to tokyo for underground competitions- saeko drives them

Daichi knows a little ballet- nobody other than Kiyoko knows because they saw each other at the ballet class and had to work together- dont tell tanaka and noya that he lifted her though

Osamu once put glitter on Atsumu's pillow- he still finds hot pink glitter on shit

kita knits and crochets with his grandma

Kita's grandma knows everyone's names because kita talks shit bout them, her favorite is Aran

Kuroo has burnt his eyebrows off doing an experiment. His goggles didn't cover all his brows,,, so he just showed up to practice like that. No eyebrows and a chemical burn

kenma has played all kinds of games, but he was dared to play corpse party by kuroo. He wasn't scared because of the gore, he was thinking about the trauma the characters went through. Punched kuroo the next day because that game was fucked up

Lev isn't a strong swimmer, so he often grabs people by the head to keep himself up. happened with kenma and lev couldn't walk due to the force of kenmas suprised water kicks

akaashi has those fancy pens that you have to dip in ink and they're so nice

Bokuto has and will eat pencil erasers again

Daichi once almost lost his shit at his team but instead he lost his shit at the door that decided to stub his toe on the way out of the gym. not the best thing to be found yelling to.

Yamaguchi for sure has been dragged to one of terushimas parties because he didnt wanna say no. oh and terushima has like frat boy level parties too. Yams has for sure had some wild nights and doubts anyone other than Tsukishima and the party-goers will ever know

Akaashi can actually flirt very well! He reads romance novels sometimes and has analyzed any and every book in his possession! so he's actually quite charming

Daihsou unironically posted on twitter after mika broke up with him "I still see her shadows in my room"

Mattsun and Maki run a fake oikawa account; its been going ever since twitter even started getting popular and they even started sending messages in spanish. The posts would range from "I love all my fans!" to flirting with them :) Oikawa is pissed cause the account got verified before he did and most of his fans also follow the fake oikawa. Tooru has no idea who runs it JUST IMAGINE OIKAWA JUST LIKE RANTING TO THE SEIJOH 3RD YEAR ALUMNI AND JUST "no Iwa-chan, you dont understand! they run a fake account and pretend to be me!" while makki and mattsun laugh their asses off

Oh, kenma for sure has pretended to be a girl on discord and has gotten someone to buy him stuff. after they do he says in his normal voice "fucking simp" and then hangs up and blocks the other persons discord

Yamamoto, despite his rough appearance, loves kids and has and will be a human jungle gym

suna in middle school had a game with his friends about who could make kids cry the fastest

The twins switched places back in middle school and nobody could tell because of how great they are at acting like eachother

Daichi once arrested coach ukai for public intoxication after a game :|

Daichi has arrested many people from his old volleyball team but the most memorable case was when he arrested tanaka and noya for reckless driving. poor idiots got so scared when they saw their old captains face in their mirror and started to pray

tanaka, while trying to intimidate someone, once said "You dont gotta tell me twice, i may be straight but these hands are bisexual" and he often cringes at night thinking about it

Kageyama, as a comeback to Tsukishima, said "one thing about us royalty is that we love to feast" and he also fuckin hates what he said

the third years made a cult for Kiyoko. they chant every wednesday "i'll do anything for kiyoko, she makes me go loco"

oikawas fangirls are known to be fucking rabid

yAMAMOTO AND KENMA AFTER THEIR FIGHT WERE FORCED BY KUROO TO MAKE IT UP: so they dyed their hair together

Makki and mattsun sang two trucks in front of the entire team. everyone was so confused. Makki: "twO TRUCKS HAVIN SEX!!" Mattsun: "oH yEs!"THEY'D SWITCH OFF AND HAVE LIKE CHOREOGRAPHY TOO LIKE THEY'D DO A TANGO WHILE THE SONG IS LIKE "two beer trucks, making love"

tendou once called Oikawa "mr. no-nationals" and got kicked in the shins before iwaizumi could save him

Tsukishima had a my little pony phase

you work with matsukawa at a morgue and he makes dead people jokes while you fix some dead guys face with wax and makeup he'd be like "so didnt he like,,, stick his head out of the sunroof of a moving fuckin car??" he'd be singing dumb ways to die the entire day

i feel like Kuroo has one crazy accident a year. like it might not be deadly but its fucking crazy like for example: Kuroo for sure has ridden in a shopping cart at past midnight with kenma (who pushed him down a hill) causing Kuroo to get scratched up hella well. he lied and said he spent the night with a girl and kenma fucking hated himself cause he would be the girl if that was true

Mattsun has flirted with the 4th years moms before (AS A JOKE), and because of this: he is known as “fuckin milf hunter” sometimes by the team

Warning, this next headcanon is talking about cannabis, weed, mary jane, the zoink root. so if your uncomfortable, please dont read below :)

dude i wanna get high as SHIT with Asahi 

i think Asahi would be one of those mfkers who takes one hit and is gone 

ASAHI ACCIDENTALLY GOING TO PRACTICE ZOINKED 

IMAGINE HIM SEEING TSUKISHIMA AND JUST "he looks so judgemental,,, im scared" 

OR LIKE A MAD DAICHI AND JUST "i'm gonna,,, im gonna go jump out the window now" 

Noya and Tanaka would know tho, i feel like they'd have a 6th sense when it comes to weed. they probably get some from Saeko cause she'd rather they do it in the house. they'd smell asahi like fucking dogs and just so,,, big guy had fun without us huh? 

DAICHI WOULD KNOW ABOUT ASAHI BEING ZOINKED, SMASH HIS FACE INTO THE WALL, TURN AROUND WITH A RED MARK ON HIS FOREHEAD AND WITH A BEAMING SMILE AND FEUX ENTHUSIASM SAY: "YOSH, LETS WARM UP!"