#oh yeah there’s douchebags in every corner of the internet

[kierancaz]

*likes post* *checks the comments* *realizes this is actually a hate post and not just a silly little joke* *unlikes post*

This is awkward.

[mycandylovefanatics]

Hello, Im so glad that you are back, I love your headcanons ! I was thinking what would happen if Candy gets unexpectedly pregnant near the end of UL when Castiel has a lot of commitments because of his career and the tour, if you like the idea and have any thoughts for that!

(Did two requests in one since it’s asking for the same thing. THIS TOOK ME A WHILE TO WRITE BECAUSE I HAVE WRITERS BLOCK BUT HOPE YOU ENJOY IT REGARDLESS! Also HUGE thanks to @sisaki-chan for helping a girl out with a few ideas for Cas, she’s such an amazing friend ugh ❤️)

Castiel

Ohhhhh my godddd not to be dramatic but like… this is probably the WORST thing that can happen right now lmao

As I stated in my last headcanons about “Candy having a 2 year old daughter”, the LAST thing Castiel would want or need is a freaking child. He’s got way too much going on and way too big of an opportunity to pass up for a baby. That probably sounds harsh but let’s be real here, do any of us REALLY think that Castiel would be happy about this, at this point in time? If he wasn’t about to go on tour then okay sure we’ll figure it out but now? Yikes.

His reaction to you telling him is not going to be good so don’t expect any “it’s going to be okay,” type of comfort. He’s going to be pissed. Mostly pissed at himself because at some point he MUST have slipped up. Expect him to walk away and not talk to you for a while. “I just, I need to be alone.” Yes this is an asshole move on his part but can you blame him? He won’t answer any of your texts or calls for a few days. He seemed very adamant about using protection during your one night stand, but not every method of protection is 100%, and you’re only human. Mistakes were bound to happen when it came to sex.

He tries to remember when it could have happened. He can’t pinpoint it but he was so SURE that you two were being careful. For a split second, he wants to question if it’s even his or not, because again, how? But he knows that you’d never do that to him, and he might feel just a bit guilty. At this point though he’s willing to grasp onto any possibility that maybe it was a false positive. After his days of brooding, he’ll call you finally. He’s not sure where to start, but he does want to go to the doctor to make sure it’s true. After your appointment does indeed confirm everything, he just sighs and runs an exasperated hand through his hair. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…”

Discussing your options is definitely going to happen. He will make it very clear to you that he does not want the baby, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to be a complete jerk about it either. He’s a man and he takes responsibility for his actions. He knows that he made this baby with you, so basically whatever decision you make he’s just going to suck it up and deal with it.

Now assuming you want to keep it in this case, he’s not happy about it at all. This might even put a strain on your relationship because he’s just in a bad mood all the time now. He isn’t trying to take it out on you, because again it’s not just your fault. He just doesn’t know how to handle the situation at all. How is he going to tell his band mates? What about the tour? Will he even be able to do that still? Would it be selfish? So many questions. Deep deep down though, he really just wants to do what’s best for you as well. He loves you and he would never just abandon you, but he also wants to follow his dream. Can he do that with you and a baby? I mean the plan was to break up before he left right? And now he feels like crap because what are his band mates going to say if he tells them that they aren’t going to be able to tour anymore because of him? After all of their hard work too, dammit! So this will probably cause them to fall out for a bit. I’m not sure if Castiel is close with his band mates to the point where he’d consider them close friends but I’d still like to think that eventually they’d patch things up? Just not know though, not at all.

Despite him being unhappy about it, he makes an effort. He makes it to every single appointment, he’ll help you when you’re not feeling well, and he TRIES to not be so negative around you because he knows you’re probably just as stressed as he is.

Oh god imagine having to deliver the news to the public though? Rumors have already started going around that the tour has been cancelled, but why? His band mates respect him enough to not give anyone an answer and he appreciates that a lot. But of course, speculation rises. You’re seen in public with him often, going in an out of doctors offices, the baggier than usual clothes you wear, the little bit of weight you seemed to have gained. That belly isn’t going to stop growing so people are going to find out sooner or later, let's be real. So when he does finally decide to announce it, everyone is shook.

He’s still a little bitter about the whole tour bit. He doesn’t resent you or the baby he’s just having a hard time coping with it. He thought about maybe just bringing you and the baby with him, but how would that work? Living mostly on a crowded tour bus, with multiple people AND a baby? Yeah no.

After awhile though, like some months into the pregnancy, he kind of starts to come around a bit more. Maybe when you’re almost due, like 7 or 8 months. He realizes, ‘oh shit I’m going to have a baby soon.’ His attitude towards the pregnancy shifts, a complete 180. It’s slow and subtle at first, but you begin to notice the slight smile he has during your ultrasounds, the way his face lights up when he hears the heartbeat for the hundredth time. And while you guys definitely should have done this already, things were just too stressful and busy to really talk about preparing the nursery for the baby. I’d imagine you’d be in Castiel's apartment for a little while, considering you’re in a dorm. All of the baby’s things have just been piling up in a corner, but then he gets this sudden motivation to just organize everything. You’re gone with Rosa somewhere for a while and by the time you come back literally everything is set up. The bottles are neatly put away, the changing table is set up in the bathroom with the diapers, wipes, powder and rash cream under it. It looks like Castiel's place is a studio apartment, so while the baby doesn’t have its own room, he still makes space for it in his. He clears out an entire corner and then some, and the bassinet is perfectly placed with the canopy draped over it. When you come home, he starts going on and on about everything. “I know I haven’t been the best boyfriend since we found out about the baby, but… I’m going to be there for you and for them because it’s my responsibility and I love you. And even though I haven’t met them yet, I love them too.” When the baby is finally born it’s really such a great time! It’s hard occasionally with your busy schedules, and finding time for each other is difficult. But at the end of the day, his favorite part is coming home to his little family, where he can just breathe and be himself. And he’s so good with them too, it’s crazy! It’s like he can read his baby’s mind sometimes. There will be some flops for sure, like backwards diapers or bottles that aren’t warm enough. But he gets the hang of it eventually. Oh man and when the baby gets a little bigger he’ll buy them a toy guitar it’s so cute. They’re both in the living room with their guitars. The baby is just pressing random buttons trying to imitate their daddy. Castiel applauds them as if they’re actually playing a good song lmao. He’s so proud of his mini me. I like to think he and his band mates would patch things up after a while, so sometimes during studio sessions he’ll bring the baby with him and they absolutely adore your kid! Everyone always wants to hold them, and they’re always buying new toys or bribing them with baby snacks. Ugh so adorable.

Oh yeah did you think he gave up on his dream? Hell no. Give it a couple of years, when the baby is a little older. It’ll be way easier to travel this way, and you guys have your own separate tour bus so that way you aren’t a burden to the others. Eventually you guys will settle down into a house and all, but the road trips and sightseeing with your baby is so much fun! When he’s not performing or rehearsing he spends as much time as possible with you two. And he’s very private about his child so I highly doubt they’d be in the spotlight that much, if at all. There’s like maybe 3 pictures of the baby’s face on the internet, but they’re all on your private page lmao no paparazzi has been successful yet.

Nathaniel

Oh geez more angst with this boy. Can’t we just eat cake made of rainbows and sprinkles and we can all eat and be happy?

Okay so first of all, like Castiel a baby is the LAST thing Nathaniel needs right now. I mean the man is involved with some really shady people who will do really terrible things as proven in the last episode, and by those two douchebags who tried to harass candy and multiple other women. And we know that Nathaniel is scared to death of whoever is in charge, he knows that they’re capable of doing messed up things to people who cross them. So now not only is he putting you at risk by even being with you, now he’s got a freaking CHILD on the way.

When you tell him, he’s shocked into silence. “...What?” He’s got thoughts running a mile a minute through his head. How could he have let this happen? He somehow feels like it’s his fault even though logically it’s not, but he KNOWS he can’t afford to have a baby right now, financially and metaphorically. He makes enough money to support himself as a drug dealer, but it’s not like he plans on being one forever. He’s not going to rely on drug money to take care of you and a baby, it’s just not happening. So now he’s gotta figure out how to find a different source of income so that he can do that. He doesn’t exactly want a baby but he’s not going to let you do this alone. “I’m going to figure something out, I promise.”

He’s done a pretty good job of keeping his relationship with you hidden away from them but people are bound to notice if he’s constantly around you all the time making sure you’re okay. So as much as he hates it, he just can’t be there with you 24/7, especially with them calling him up to do work for them all the time. Expect him to miss some appointments, some classes if you’re taking any and just being alone sometimes in general. He’d love nothing more than to be at home with you making sure you’re feeling okay but he can’t, and he can’t risk anyone trying to follow him to figure out why he’s never around anymore. It sucks but it’s for the best.

On another note though, this does nothing but motivate even more him to get out of the business he’s in. The last thing he’d want is to not be able to be there for you when the baby actually gets here, so he starts taking action a lot sooner than before. And honestly, if he has to sacrifice things for your safety then he will. The last thing he wants is for you to be used as leverage against him or whatever. In this last episode he left town for not only his safety but yours and Ambers as well. So with a baby involved I don’t even think he’d hesitate to leave this time. He won’t communicate with you in any way, he doesn’t want to risk it. But, he sends you money to your bank account whenever he can, and will send baby things through the mail if it’s not too risky. He misses you both dearly even though the little bean isn’t here yet, and I genuinely hope that in a case like this he would be able to come back before the baby is born but who knows? I have no idea how this arc will play out for him.

While he’s away, it’s pretty sad tbh. He’s crying all the time, he feels like complete shit for not being able to be there for you. I lowkey feel like he would keep in touch with Amber but she doesn’t tell you because he asks her not to. She secretly shows him ultrasound pictures and updates him on how you’re doing. She feels bad about it but she feels this strong protectiveness over her niece or nephew, and you too now. She wants so badly to tell you that he’s okay but she can’t. The only thing reassuring you of his existence is the fact that he keeps sending you money. He’s fine, just really freaking sad.

For this sake of this scenario I’m just going to go ahead and say that somehow, miraculously all of this gets fixed and he’s able to come back home. You’d decided to just move into his apartment after he left considering you’d be there all the time anyways. He knows you’re there, Amber told him. He gets back and wastes no time going back to his place. He doesn’t even bother to call you because the thought of seeing you again is the only thing on his mind. He left you and Amber the keys so he’s pounding on the door. It scares you at first and you cautiously look through the peephole. When you see him you swear your entire heart stops. You’re frozen to the spot. You don’t answer for a bit, and he pounds again. “Y-Y/N? Are you here?” It’s not until he says this that you snap back to reality and swing the door open. He doesn’t say anything, you don’t even have time to look at him and take it all in before he’s throwing himself at you. Carefully because now your belly is huge, but still enough force to push you back a bit. You can’t see his face but you know he’s crying because you can feel the tears staining your shoulder, and now you’re crying too. You stay like that for such a long time, just embracing each other and crying. You weren’t even sure if you’d ever see him again so this moment feels unreal.

When he FINALLY takes a step back from you, he grabs your face and kisses you with everything he has, and then he looks at your belly and the reality of it all hits him. Obviously he knew how far along you were but seeing it in person, finally being able to touch your belly and feel the kicks… it’s indescribable. He kneels down and places his hands on either side, a sad looking smile on his face. Of course he’s happy but he’s also sad because FUCK did he miss out. Sure appointments are annoying and shopping for a child can get hectic, but he would take that any day over having to leave you again. “I missed you so so much, I missed you BOTH so much.”

At this point you’re pretty far along in the pregnancy so I wouldn’t doubt it if you went into labor a few weeks after this. As nervous as he is, he won’t even show it. This is a moment he didn’t even think he’d get to have with you so all of his worries get pushed to the back of his mind. His fear used to be not being a good dad because of everything he had going on, but then he had to leave and his fear was not being able to see his baby at all, ever. So everything he worried about in the past doesn’t mean shit to him now, he’s here and that’s all the matters. When the baby finally gets here, it’s like the world around him fades out as soon as he hears that first cry. It’s just you, him and your baby. Having a tiny human in his arms feels like literal heaven to him. Was the situation for having a baby ideal? Of course not. Were you ready for a baby? Of course not. But he would choose this over anything if he had to do it all over again.

Oh god Nathaniel is such a good daddy. He’s so patient with the baby, and he’s as involved as he can be with him working an ACTUAL job and finally being able on school. He does online classes because he hates being away from you guys. When he’s at work he’s constantly sneaking to text you to make sure you’re okay, and he loves getting baby pictures during his breaks. He has slight anxiety when he’s away but he knows that the people he had to deal with will be put away for a long time so he tries to relax. As soon as he’s off he rushes back home to see you two, and just embraces you both in a hug, kissing both of your foreheads. You spend the rest of the evening just being next to each other. Even if you have to do school work, you’re both in the living room on your laptops just enjoying the other’s presence. The baby is probably in their walker running around the house, or falling asleep in their rocker. It’s just an all around peaceful atmosphere even if the baby is getting antsy. Expect visits from auntie Amber often too! It’s really great because she knows how busy you both can get so she’ll usually stay for a few hours to help with the baby so you two can focus on school or getting things done around the apartment. He’s also extremely protective of his family so she’s like the only one who can hold your kid besides Rosa and Alexy, without him glaring at the person and telling them no lmao. And not even just a polite no, he’s just so blunt about it. After what he’s been through he’s just very cautious of who he lets into his life and his family’s life.

[skarletterambles]

I saw The Last Jedi!

Loved it.  Definitely want to see it again.

Spoilers below.

[Disclaimer:  These are my opinions.  You don’t have to agree with me, just respect that I arrived at my conclusions after sincere consideration.  Don’t interact if you’re going to start drama or flame me for liking Ben Solo’s character and his bond with Rey.  I’m not interested in arguing, which is why I haven’t dared participate in this fandom before.]

The Good:

Pretty much everything.  The SFX, the music, the cinematography, the costumes, everything was a treat for the senses.

The humor!  I laughed a lot at this movie.  Often the jokes were in the middle of a serious/dramatic scene, yet didn’t feel out of place.

The porgs were even cuter than I thought they would be, and used in just the right amounts.  I wonder what Chewie named his new sidekick...  I also noticed a porg standing on top of R2-D2 in the final scene, and it rotated as R2 turned his head.  LMAO!  The audience went nuts during the campfire scene with Chewie, both laughing and going “AWWWWW!”

I liked Rose.  She was sympathetic and strong, sweet and brave.  It was also really cool to see an actress of southeast Asian heritage in a major movie.  I grew up in a predominately white Midwestern city where Hmong immigrants are the largest minority, and I had many friends growing up who looked like Rose.  I’m so happy for them to get this kind of representation!

I loooooovvvvvved the way Snoke met his end.  Having Ben turn and ignite the heirloom lightsaber like that was brilliant.  The fight with the guards that followed was beautifully choreographed and demands multiple viewings to fully appreciate.

Hux was fun in his petty, pompous, unapologetic evilness.  I look forward to him butting heads with Ben in the next movie.  The snark exchanged between them in the final battle on Crait was priceless.  (That look Ben gave him when Hux parroted the same orders!  LMAO!)  I like the idea of him being the main antagonist going forward, especially because he’s not a Force user.  He’s just a power hungry douchebag.  That’s a nice change of pace.

Mark Hamill acted his heart out, and oh my, the results were worth it.  I know some fans aren’t happy with the darker, more jaded turn his character took, but A.) it made total sense, given what he’d gone through, and B.) Hamill knocked it out of the park.  No complaints from me.  Also, I thought it was a fitting sendoff for his character.  The double sunset was a callback to his intro in A New Hope, and the music was spot-on.  Plus it’s almost a given that he’ll show up as a Force Ghost at some point, so his role isn’t necessarily over.

I was proud to pick up on the fact that Luke wasn’t physically on Crait early in the confrontation with Ben.  There was a shot where you clearly saw the salty ground turn red when Ben swept his foot around to get into fighting stance, and then we saw Luke make a similar move and the ground didn’t change color.  I spotted that and was instantly like, “Force shenanigans are afoot!”  (Foot pun accidental.)

The flashbacks to Ben’s last night at Luke’s temple were shocking, but I liked them.  You can totally see why Ben reacted as he did, and you can also see how the fallout affected Luke.  Neither were totally right or wrong:  Luke was wise to worry about the darkness in his nephew, and Ben had every right to be horrified and angry at having his own uncle betray him like that.  It was just unfortunate all around, but it all makes so much sense!

Like the vision Rey had in TFA after finding Luke’s lightsaber, her trippy experience in the Dark Side’s cave is one of those scenes that is going to take many viewings to even begin to comprehend, and which probably won’t be clear until the end of the trilogy.  I just have to say that the last silhouette looked an awful lot like Ben...

Cool the Yoda scene was.  ;)  A little shit he is.

I liked the little alien nuns on the island.  Their justified dislike of Rey was a great running gag, and they expressed so much without dialog.

Carrie Fisher was great, of course, and I’m glad they chose not to alter her role at all after her passing.  It would have been relatively easy to do, since they already had all that footage of Leia in a coma in the medical bay.  They could have simply had her escape from her space walk without any ill effects (hey, it’s the Force, right?) and then get caught in a cave-in later on, or something.  But they kept to the original script, and I really think it was the right call.  This was the movie she made, the role as she wanted to play it, the script as she approved it.  The next movie will have a huge hole without her, but they have time to figure out how to do her legacy justice.  (I admit I am very disappointed that we’ll never get a mother/son reunion when Ben is redeemed, though.)

I looked for her dog, Gary, who apparently had a cameo in the casino scene, but I couldn’t spot him.  Very busy scenes with a ton going on and lots of movement, so I’m not surprised that I missed him.

Ben Solo.  I’m just going to call him that now.  He didn’t object when Rey called him that, and it is his true name.  Whatever you call him, however, he remains a fascinating character:  volatile, self-loathing, short-tempered, lost, broken, lonely, searching, ruthless, conflicted...  Adam Driver is amazing with the depth and breadth of emotions he can convey without a single word.

The clear parallels between the way Ben asked Rey to join him in ruling the galaxy and the way Darcy first proposed marriage to Elizabeth Bennett were delicious.  “Your family is disgraceful but I love you anyway” is not the way to win a lady’s affections.  Better luck next time, Benny boy.

Now I’m going to drop out of bullet points to talk about the bantha in the room:  Reylo.  I didn’t outright ship it after my first viewing of The Force Awakens, but I was intrigued by the connection I saw between those two characters.  In the two years since, I’ve read a lot of brilliant meta that analyzed their characters, drawing from literature, psychology, the classics, fairy tales, etc.  It took me back to my days as an English major in college, and I saw a lot going on beneath the surface that led me to believe their relationship was going to be the linchpin on which the rest of the trilogy would turn.  After The Last Jedi I think it’s safe to say that’s absolutely correct.

I know the ship is the target for vehement hatred in certain corners of the internet, this site included.  All I can say is that if I saw an abusive relationship, or believed that Ben Solo is truly a fascist at heart, or felt that Rey was in any way being stripped of her agency, I wouldn’t ship it.  But I never saw it that way, and after a long time spent thinking, reading meta, and rewatching TFA, (and certainly after watching TLJ) I am even more convinced that they are equals and opposites, orbiting around each other in a fascinating dynamic that I expect to turn overtly romantic by the end of the trilogy.

They started out as enemy combatants on opposite sides of a war.  So yes, there was violence.  They both harmed each other.  People condemn him for Force-throwing her into a tree, but rarely mention that he did that because she was aiming a blaster at his head, and he had every reason to expect her to use it.  Two wrongs don’t make a right, but neither do these interactions suggest they would be violent toward each other in the context of a relationship.

The TFA interrogation scene was not analogous to rape, unless you believe that Luke, Obi-Wan, and other Jedi heroes are all (mind-)rapists, too.  And again, Rey gave as good as she got.  She turned it around and invaded his mind, exposing his fears and insecurities.  Right after, she used the Force to override the will of the nearest Stormtrooper.  No one points fingers at her for mind-rape.  The double standard among some in the fandom leaves a bad taste in my mouth.  Either Ben and Rey are both violent mind-invaders who hurt each other, or they’re both enemy combatants in a war who are slowly coming to realize that they’ve been wrong about their places in the universe.

Also, compare Rey’s interrogation with Poe’s.  Poe was bleeding and clearly tortured.  Rey was restrained but not physically harmed.  Of course it wasn’t pleasant, because, again, enemy combatants in a freaking war.  She was a prisoner, she had intel the First Order wanted, so yeah, an interrogation was going to happen, and it wasn’t going to be happy happy fun times.  But characters in these movies get their minds read and manipulated quite often, and it’s never treated as some of kind horrible trauma.

I’m not saying the way they interacted in TFA was healthy, but it laid the foundation for something truly fascinating going forward.  To have an epic redemption arc, you need a character who has something to be redeemed for.  If Ben was an angel from the beginning there wouldn’t be a story to tell.  If Rey hadn’t experienced his darkness first-hand, she couldn’t understand what he’s battling to overcome.

And now, in TLJ, Rey has complete agency over her interactions with Ben.  She chose to ask him questions, to try to understand his motivations.  She chose to reach out her hand to him through their Force Bond. She chose to come to him on Snoke’s ship.  She chose to reject his offer to rule the galaxy together.  She chose to leave without harming him when he lay unconscious.  She chose to shut the door to break their current Force Bond connection at the end.  She offered to help him, showed him compassion, tried to lead him down a better path, but did not cave in when he balked.

He did not harm her.  He killed Snoke to protect her, when he couldn’t work up the courage to do it for his own sake.  Even when facing multiple Praetorian guards at once, he still looked to see how she was faring in the battle.  They fought together, back to back, as if they’d been doing it for years.  He let her call him “Ben” without protesting.  He asked her to stay with him, to rule beside him!  He wanted to forge a new future for the galaxy with her as his partner!  He said please!  

And best of all, they are avoiding the hackneyed, sexist trope of “the love of a good woman pulled the man’s lost soul back to the light.”  She offered to help him and he refused.  And she was like, “Fair enough.  If you change your mind, well...Force Bond.  You know how to reach me.”  The ball is in Ben’s court, as it should be.  For his redemption to be meaningful, he has to work for it himself.  He has to want it.  He has to realize the error of his ways and strive to be better.  It can’t be a matter of his soul mate waving a magic wand and purifying his heart.  She is the light at the end of the tunnel, showing him what direction he should go in, but every step along the way will be through his own effort.

Rey wouldn’t take the hand of Supreme Leader Kylo Ren.  She made it clear that she will only welcome Ben Solo into her arms, and that is the far wiser, healthier choice.  (Basically, Rey agrees with the anti-shippers who think it would be a horrible idea for her to pair up with Kylo.  Let that sink in for a moment!  Heh.)  Now it’s up to him who he wants to be.

It’s fascinating to watch, and heartbreaking to see the long, difficult road ahead of him.  But all those messages about hope, especially the ones coming from Ben’s mother herself, are there for a reason.  (And it seemed to me that Luke had renewed hope for Ben at the end.  He wouldn’t have tried to teach him one final lesson otherwise, nor become One With The Force feeling peaceful.)

So yes, I ship Reylo as the yin and yang, push and pull, light and dark, two lost souls searching for their place in the universe.  They both have to grow and mature before they can have a stable relationship (remember, it’s all about balance), but the potential is most definitely there.  If someone else genuinely interprets their relationship differently and doesn’t like what they see, that’s fine.  But after a sincere effort to weigh multiple viewpoints, this is the conclusion that I have come to.  I reiterate:  if I saw their relationship as a toxic, abusive one, I wouldn’t ship it.  

So don’t condemn me for enjoying sardines on my pizza when I honestly do not see, smell or taste any sardines.  All my senses tell me that I’m enjoying a pepperoni pizza.  If you don’t like pepperoni, that’s okay, nobody’s forcing you to eat it, and you can just leave me alone to enjoy my damn pizza.

All right?  All right.

Moving on!

The Bad:

Finn did a lot of running around but not much developing as a character.  There’s so much potential with a stormtrooper-turned-rebel, and his insider knowledge did help at times, but I would have liked a bit more insight into his thoughts and feelings.

I wasn’t really feeling the chemistry with Finn and Rose.  That kiss was seriously awkward.  I didn’t hate the pairing, and I did like Rose as a character, but I thought their relationship was rushed.  Maybe they’ll dial it back a notch in the next movie, chalk it up to a hasty confession blurted in the heat of battle, and then build back up to it.  Or maybe Finn will tell her he likes her, but not that way.  I don’t know.  Poe has a major crush on Finn, though, and I hold to that headcanon. 

The self-sacrifice theme got a little bit overdone.  Paige Tico, Admiral Holdo, Finn (unsuccessfully, thank goodness), and (arguably) Luke.  It’s a powerful idea, but best used sparingly.

Phasma remained one-dimensional.  I had really hoped she would get more fleshed out, but it was not to be.  At least Gwen got a chance to act with one eye out of the helmet for a moment.  :p  Oh well, it frees her up to concentrate on filming all that Jaime/Brienne awesomeness on Game of Thrones.  ;)

Benicio Del Toro’s codebreaker character was kind of a non-entity.  He popped up, did his thing, and then left.  No strong feelings about him either way.  The whole plot of needing a codebreaker felt a little weak, to be honest.  Finn and Rose could have needed some Macguffin that required a trip to Canto Bight, brought it back, used it, and still gotten caught, and the result would have been the same.  Maybe there’d even have been time to do more with Finn’s character development...

R.I.P. Admiral Ackbar.  It wasn’t a trap, but you died all the same.

I was a little surprised to see Admiral Holdo killed off so soon (albeit in a spectacular fashion--you could have heard a pin drop in the theater during that silent, slow-mo explosion).  Her screen time went by so fast that I had trouble figuring her character out until I was able to think about what happened later on.  And honestly I’m still not sure how I feel about her. 

The Ugly:

Snoke.  In every way possible.  Good riddance.

Green alien milk, fresh from the udder.  Ewwwwwwwwww.

Anyway, this is a ridiculously long post, and I’ve been working on it (off and on) for over 24 hours, so I’m going to shut up now.  I may edit later if I think of something I just have to add.

[notgoingtohappen]

Revenge, Interrupted (Part 19)

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Caroline looked out of the aeroplane window, watching as they descended, clouds dissolving as millions of pinpricks of light came into view. The city, her new home. Somewhere among the multicoloured glitter were Elena, Bonnie, Damon, Enzo... and Stefan.

Her fake boyfriend. Who she liked.

Who she was going to try her absolute best to get over.

For the hundredth time, she wondered angrily how she could be dumb enough to fall for him and put herself in this situation. Now she had to face the boy she liked and try and act nonchalant in front of him but in love in front of their friends, and somehow move on from someone who for all intents and purposes acted like her he liked her back most of the time. 

Separating all of it was going to be hell.

Great going, Caroline.

Shouldn't be too hard. The relationship wasn't real. They were just friends.

She just had to keep telling herself that.

~*~

Under the fluorescent white lights of the airport, Caroline made her way to the exit, dragging her suitcase behind her.

She stopped as her phone buzzed in her purse. Fishing it out, she found herself staring at a text from Stefan Salvatore. Of course.

‘Look up’

She did, only to see him standing a few feet away, flowers in hand, smiling.

"Stefan! What are you doing here?" she exclaimed as her heart did strange things in her chest. 

Why was he like this?

"Picking you up, of course." he handed her the daisies and took the suitcase from her.

"They're beautiful, thank you." 

The guy even got her her favourite flowers. He really didn't make it hard for one to develop feelings. "And you know you didn't have to, right?"

"I wanted to! Just being a good fake boyfriend" he replied.

Right.

She reached up to hug him and pulled away as the moment she felt his arm around her, setting off those damn butterflies.

She struggled to think straight and act normal. "I got you something too," she remembered suddenly, reaching into her purse. She handed him a small brown package.

Stefan pulled out a snow globe key chain of Mystic Falls, and looked at her with a surprised smile.

"I saw it at the gift shop at the airport. Reminded me of you. I know you love the town."

"Thank you." he said warmly, looking into her eyes. She couldn't tell what was going on behind the forest green and looked away quickly.

"Let's go home." she said.

~*~

Caroline got home as dawn was breaking across the sky, took one look at the bed she realised she rarely got to sleep in and crashed.

When she woke up, the apartment was empty. Stuck to her mirror was a post-it that read ‘Glad you're back, see you in the evening xoxo’ in Elena's handwriting. 

After eating an apple and some pudding from the fridge, Caroline decided to go to the library for a few hours and surf the internet on her laptop, maybe waste some time on social media. Or even read. She realised she could just ask Stefan for some books but she didn't want to be around him or his damn room any more than necessary. She just had to hope that distance did not make the heart fonder.

After spending a few hours (that had flown by far too quickly) curled up on a bean bag in a corner of the comfortingly quiet library, she gathered her things and left the building. Looking wistfully at the setting sun and dreading seeing Stefan once more, she suddenly remembered that there had been no cereal in the kitchen that morning. She walked to the nearest supermarket and then idled some more over there, buying things she did absolutely not need (a Minnie Mouse mug, pepper flavoured gum, blood orange lip gloss, and some fresh lettuce.)

After going as far as to impulse buy a gossip magazine at the checkout counter, she trudged her way back to the loft. She wasn't even past the front door before she was tackled by Bonnie and Elena.

"Care! You're back!"

"We missed you!"

"We love you!"

"We're so happy everything is okay!" the girls gushed.

"Thanks you guys, I love you too" Caroline laughed, her spirits soaring as she felt a surge of affection for her best friends.

"How was being back home? How is everyone? How's Sheriff?" Bonnie asked.

"Great, she's good."

"What do you wanna do? Eat junk food? Rom-com marathon? Apartment cleaning session?" Elena asked.

Before Caroline could pick one of those amazing options, the door burst open, Salvatore brothers standing in the doorway.

"Heard all the squealing. Welcome back, Care-bear!" Damon exclaimed, flashing his crooked smile at her.

"Thanks, Damon" she replied.

"Did Steffy or the girls tell you how we're going to celebrate?" he asked, glancing around the room, looking delighted.

"Uh, no?" Caroline looked at them curiously before her gaze landed on Stefan.

"We are... going to a rave" he said, looking vaguely uncomfortable.

"Oh my god, that sounds so much fun! When? Oh, I went to this one in college–"

"That was the best party ever and even had glow sticks, we know" Elena interrupted. "It's tomorrow. Liam's friend is throwing it."

"Perfect! One last hurrah before work starts, I guess."

"No, not you too, Blondie." Damon muttered.

"Excuse me?"

"You're starting work and so is Enzo... don't leave me alone with Stefan all day."

"I'm the one who will have to be around you all day," Stefan shot back. "I'm going to practically live at the gym till the day I begin."

"Just not my gym, please."

"Why don't you start actually looking for work?"

"I'm taking a break, dear brother. I've spent my life studying, I deserve it. Plus, Dad pays our bills." he smirked.

"Your life has been the same as that of every normal student in the country, Damon–"

"My work hours aren't that long right now, I'm just one of the three assistants..." Caroline interrupted their bickering.

"Oh good, hear that Stefan–" Damon began, only to be cut short by Elena.

"That's so great! I wish I didn't work at a hospital, the hours are crazy. And you get to spend more time with your boyfriend, lucky!"

"Yeah, I would have missed you." Stefan turned to Caroline with a smile in his eyes. Despite herself, a foolish part of her thought it was genuine. Damn it, why was he such a good actor?

She smiled back, before quickly changing the subject. "Okay, I am starving. I was so busy at the library, I forgot to eat lunch. What's for dinner?"

The girls looked at each other blankly.

"Worry not ladies, chef Stefan here will whip something up."

"I'm not going to cook three meals a day, Damon, stop being so lazy–"

"Oh my god, I'm ordering pizza." Bonnie groaned and put her phone to her ear and walked into her room.

Damon plopped onto the couch with a beer in hand, talking softly to Elena about something that reduced her to peals of laughter.

Stefan and Caroline sat down on the other couch.

"So, the plan's going on track..." he started.

Other than me falling for you.

"Yeah, totally. I mean, we go on dates, kiss, sleep in one room, what's left?"

"A declaration of love?"

Caroline swallowed. "Yep."

"Maybe a grand gesture?"

"You handle that one" she muttered.

"Okay" he replied simply.

She bit her lip, willing herself to look at ease.

"You okay?" Stefan's forehead creased as he looked at her as if trying to gauge her thoughts.

"I'm fine. Yeah, I think it's going well. We just stick to it for a while, keep up a routine when I have work too, lull them into thinking it's all peachy, and then–"

"Crash and burn."

"Throw them into a panic." She added.

"Worst breakup in history, remember?"

The last time they'd discussed the breakup, they were both laughing, imagining the guilt their friends would feel, filled with glee at the prospect of pranking them so cleverly, tricking them at their own game.

Now, there wasn't a smile in sight.

She didn't want it to end. It hurt to remember that it would.

And then she mentally chastised herself. It was sad that she was enjoying a fake relationship this much.

"What... what reason do we give them for the breakup?" He asked, looking away, but not before she'd caught his expression grow even more serious.

Why did he look serious? Was this getting to be too much for him?

"What's wrong?" She asked carefully.

He smiled at her, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Nothing, I'm just tired. We'll still be friends, right?"

The hope she felt at his words just made the despair that followed worse. She felt like a small goblin was punching her heart again and again.

"Of course! You were my first close friend in town, you know."

The corners of his mouth turned up a little. "You too. This was actually fun, hanging out with you."

The goblin really hated her. She mustered up a smile and replied. "We just can't be seen together while we're fighting, and when we reveal it was a prank, we go back to spending time together. But normally, as friends."

"Good plan... so why do we break up again?" He asked again

"Uh..." Caroline started to think. "You decide you're tired of me?"

"Caroline! That couldn't happen, you're actually my friend! And that makes me sound like a douchebag."

"Okay, okay." Caroline wished there was a button she could hit when talking to Stefan that would turn her feelings off so she didn't feel hope, anxiety, anguish, heartache, and anger at herself for feeling all of the above in a constant loop.

"How about you're not ready for a relationship?"

"They'll never buy it. I haven't been in one for over a year, plus I was lamenting about being tired of being single for days before I moved here."

"Really?" He smirked. "And you were never tempted to call Klaus?"

She narrowed her eyes in mock offence and smacked his arm. "Ha ha, very funny. I'll date Damon before I date him. I say you cheat on me with Rayna."

Stefan's mouth fell open. "Damon would never buy it! He knows I would never. How about you cheat on me with one of your exes when they arrive here?"

"Yeah, no, Tyler has a girlfriend who I love and after how things ended with Matt, no thank you. Besides, the girls wouldn't buy it. I've never cheated on anyone, it's one of the worst things you could ever do, it's cowardly and–"

"And cruel and wrong to betray someone's trust like that. How anyone can even live with themselves after that is beyond me."

Caroline looked at him approvingly. "You really are Prince Charming, you know? All noble and righteous."

"So are you. Noble and moral and kind, I mean."

Did the guy seriously jump out of a Hallmark movie? Was his life's mission to prevent her from getting over him?

"Great. So we're too perfect to break up." She flopped back against the couch with a loud sigh of frustration.

Damon and Elena looked at them curiously. "Lover's quarrel?" Damon asked.

"No way" Stefan said, leaning in close to kiss Caroline. Her eyes fluttered shut and she reached up to grip his shirt and pull him closer, her annoyance dissolving into longing when she felt his hands brush against her side.

"We cross that bridge when we come to it," he whispered as he pulled away, shifting so his arm was around her. She leaned her head on his shoulder, playing with his fingers on an unconscious impulse as she thought about what he'd said. How long would it be exactly, until a logical reason to break up cropped up?

She looked up to see Elena still looking at her curiously, and turned to Stefan. He was watching their hands as if it was the most natural thing in the world. To her, that's what it felt like. And to the others, it looked like a regular couple sitting together and being cute.

Well played, Stefan, she thought as Elena smiled softly at her and went back to talking to Damon.

"You know, a few weeks of dating is fine too if we find a reason by then. Who says it needs to be months?" She blurted out.

Stefan's expression was guarded. "Okay."

And then she kicked herself. Because even though she'd suggested it, and it was a pretend relationship, and they'd just been analyzing their future breakup in great detail, him agreeing with breaking up early so easily made her feel uneasy.

And that was why it was better in the long run, as much as she hated it (and then hated herself for hating it–really, what the fuck.)

The sooner this charade ended, the sooner would her conflicted feelings and stupid crush go away, and her mind would be a far more tranquil place.

20