#ok im listening to i / me / myself a little bit

[puppyeared]

learning abt friendship decay and "not reaching out to your friends for months at a time unprompted is not neurotypical behaviour" has me feeling a certain way

[voidimp]

maybe now that i have adhd meds i can attempt Language again

[sentofight]

ooc. u know since i started teaching i think my grammar is getting..........tiny..........tiny...weeensyyyyyy eaaannyyyy better. i know how grammar works but then i write my brain: *slides arabic structure here because it can* and then you have arabizi*

[sludgeguzzler]

i try to remember when i first started having a deeply negative opinion of myself and then i think of when i was like a 7 year old and told my parents i didnt deserve to get ungrounded bc "there [was] no coming back from this, dad" (i hadnt cleaned my room)

[tasklinemgr]

I've decided that I need to stop getting mad about other people's opinions about the funny animal and evil robot game

[copia]

might have to elaborate one day on why spillways means so much to me as an autistic person because it truly has been the catalyst of real change in terms of understanding and self regulation in a way nothing else has managed

[whomturgled]

i have so many feelings and i hate it

[weirdlizard26]

did u guys know i like rereading my own posts. whats up with that

[nietopesz]

i haven't been answering to her messages on whatsupp AND instagram for over a week now and she just texted me asking if we could hang out very nicely without acknowledgement whatsover that ive been mia, i dont understand

[orcelito]

oh yeah uh i forgot to talk about my day. i havent rly been existing as a person whoops. uh

work kinda sucked but not NEARLY as bad as yesterday. honestly yesterday was probably the worst shift ive had in uh. well at least a year im betting. it was really so very bad.

today was better except Whoops my bike broke a little bit. forgot to mention that too. i left it at work overnight in the storage room n im gonna bring it to the bike shop tomorrow. so im gonna be without my bike for a few days </3

uhm. otherwise ive been procrastinating, still not doing my dishes, reading trigun fanfic and rewatching trigun stampede and reading trigun maximum. and also browsing etsy for trigun merch, of which i bought a few things.

now im thinking about skipping class again bc it's accidentally oh so late and i am very tired. i can rationalize it to myself that it's Totally for the sake of finishing my lab tomorrow. but really ive just lost control of this semester and i barely wanna do shit anymore. lol.

[nomairuins]

under the cut bc it is relating to The thang rhat happened yesterday. so umm. idk how to tw it. i thought some very scary stuff happened to my body but none of it actually did but i talk abt it a bit in detaul and its a bit gruesome . and i rambled abt it in the tags for a bit so dont read those either if u r squeamish Andor just dont want to hear abt that rn . apologies

in hindsight now im calming down a bit it is like. funny in a sad way that while i was literally Convinced that my rib had punctured my lung and also my heart and blood was filling my entire body. i Kept on asking the paramedics Is this gonna be really expensive . im sorry. um is this ambulance gonna cost a lot . and when my mom got to the room i kept crying and saying sorry in between my literal gasping for breath and gagging on what i was convinced was blood and uncontrollable shaking bc i was rly rly rly terrified it was going to cost her a lot of money . bit funny. where r your priorities girl...

[81folklore]

dress - SV5

pairings: sebastian vettel x famous!reader (fc: taylor swift)

summary: its known that seb has been married for a few years now despite the public never seeing is wife, its also known that yn is in a committed relationship and has been since she disappeared from public eye. maybe they are more connected than people realise

authors note: i have had this idea on my mind for SO LONG so im very pleased to finally be writing it. essentially in this, yn is taylor and seb is joe but no one has ever seen him nor know his name, if that makes sense? honestly i have no clue how this will turn out but i needed to write it

authors note 2: this is set in the midnights era however i switched the songs a bit so ‘dress’ is on midnights instead of ‘sweet nothing’ and vice versa!! also ‘dress’ is going to be a single. i also apologize for how all over the place this is, especially the tweets

authors note 3: just pretend whatever says taylor swift says your name and the photos with her hands have a wedding ring!! i also got so confused when trying to screenshot the twitter stuff so the timeline ones are backwards

authors note 4??: haha didnt realise there was a 30 pic limit... pt 2 here :)

masterlist

ynupdates

liked by user3, user18 and 10,628 others

yn on her story today, possibly posting song lyrics! thoughts?

view comments

user3: NEW ERA INCOMING

user18: OH I AM SO READY FOR THIS

user13: NEW MUSIC NEW MUSIC

user66: is this hinting at her reputation era?

user13: i was just thinking this, more specifically the time just before reputation

user72: MUSIC ABOUT LOVER?? OH I AM SO HERE FOR IT

user55: if it is about lover and the time before reputation this will BREAK ME like,, HE SAW THE BEST IN HER EVEN IN HER WORST TIMES😭😭

yourusername

liked by gracieabrams, ynupdates, olliebearman and 7,277,739 others

everyone thinks that they know us, but they know nothing about…

this album has been such a rewarding piece to create and im so glad that soon enough you will all be able to listen and enjoy it with me! one thing i love in particular about this album is the song ‘dress’

dress was originally a piece i started to write when making reputation however i felt it was right to keep it to myself, to keep it between my partner and i for a little while longer. however recently our lives have been changing for the better, and while that lid of privacy will still be on, i want to share more with you guys

you have all been on this journey with me and you have treated my partner and i with the upmost respect and for that i thank you. for me dress is a letter, its statement, its a declaration of my love for him and im very grateful to be able to give this to you all

this song is one im very proud of, i really enjoyed writing this the first time, and getting to revist and polish it up felt very special to do.

dress out now on all platforms🖤

comments on this post have been limited

sebupdates

liked by user34, user5, user88 and 23,683 others

seb in suzuka with the grid at his turn 2 bee (insect) hotels,, we've missed seeing him at the track :(

view comments

user3: of course the grid come together for him :’)

user5: im not crying!! just hay fever!!

user5: oh i have missed him SO MUCH

user7: NO BECAUSE YOU DONT GET IT HES BACK

user88: DID YOU GUYS SEE THE VIDEO OF HIM HUGGING CHARLES😭😭

user34: the way he was like a teacher throughout the whole thing😭

user18: does anyone know if hes staying the whole weekend or is it like monaco??

sebupdates: we believe hes staying the whole weekend but unsure if hes with a team or not!

user18: ok thank you :)

user77: the way the first thing lewis asked him was if his wife was okay, oh what if i cry😭😭

user66: im kind of new here, have the grid met sebs wife?

user77: i know they all at least know about her and know who she is, i dont think everyone has met her but i know lewis has met her quite a bit!!

part 2!

[normansnt]

Ace

(Alastor x male reader)

Explain to Alastor what Ace means

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"(Y/N)?" Called out Alastor to you

"Yes?" You answered not looking up from what you were reading.

"Would you like to go, get some coffee with me, in, what your generation calls, a date?"

Now to this you looked up.

"What?" You answered very confused

"In a...romantic way?" He tried explaining it to you thinking thats the part you didn't understand.

"I mean...I would love to but you dont have to push yourself if it would make you feel uncomfortable" you answered while you put your book down slowly on the coffee table.

"Uncomfortable? Why would it make me uncomfortable we are close are we not?"

Now he got confused as well.

"Well because...your ace and/or aro?"

"What is with that word, Rosie said it as well and the meaning of it still avoids me" he answered starting to get annoyed by his lack of understanding.

"What- ohhhh what did you say when did you die?"

"1933, however its quite rude to ask someone that." He answered looking at you in a scolding way.

"I'm sorry but because you lived back than thats why you don't know that word, please sit let me explain"

He sat down on the couch in front of you.

"Ok, so when we say 'ace' we refer to someone who has little to no sexual attraction and aromantic or aro is someone who has little to no romantic attraction. Of course there is much more to this subject but this kind of sums it up."

Alastor just stared at you.

Him? Not being interested in romantic relationships or sex??

Thats...true. He never felt the need to sleep with anyone he was doing totally fine without it. Romance...was another category completely however, and he didn't know if it was something he was interested in it or not.

He asked you out in the first place because he felt very good in your presence. He felt comfortable and content. Was that not romance?

"Alastor?" He has been staring at you for a while and it was quite creepy.

"Listen I understand thats a lot of information to process especially if you just realized some things about yourself so I can leave if you like-"

"No" Answered Alastor a bit fast. He has made up his mind. He might not be interested in a sexual relationship however he really wanted to kiss you right now.

"It might be true that I have not known this so far in my life or death, and you did make me realize some things about myself, but even so my offer still stands."

"Oh? Are you sure because I only want to if it doesn't make you uncom-"

You couldn't get the rest of your sentence out due to a pair of lips on yours.

Alastor kissed you.

You were stunned for a second but after you realized what was happening you kissed back immediately.

His lips were surprisingly soft, not to mention he did pretty good looking at the fact that it was his first kiss.

"Trust me, dear, If something would make me uncomfortable I wouldn't do it." He said grinning and holding your chin after you two parted.

You were a blushing mess.

You've never thought about Alastor that way, since you thought he was aromantic. But now that you did, fucking god, you like him.

Whit that thought in mind you kissed him again.

This time you stood up and he put his hands on your waist while yours were on his neck.

It wasn't a heated kiss and it will never be very likely you didn't want to step over his boundaries.

"...So my dear, would you like to get that coffee now?" He asked smiling while offering you his arm.

"I would love to" you smiled back at him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Guys I have a serious problem Im literally shitting words I have never written this many fanfics in one go🥹

BUT YK WHAT WORTH IT CUZ I LOVE EM

I literally love almost all characters in hazbin hotel so much I JUST CANNOT STOP💀

Thank you sm for the correction @whyarewehere103 😎🙏🧡

I hope you enjoyed your reading ladies,gentleman and other, good afternoon good evening and good night🦖🧡

[foggyperfectionangel]

You left

Jasper hale x reader

Tw: sad and ed

Summary: after leaving with his family y/n finds out that Jasper as returned to forks.

It’s hard to think that what jasper and I was real when the last word he spoke to you was I don’t love you anymore, that was the day I felt my heart rip in two. When Jasper left it was like he was never there to begin with and everything began going back to how it was before I knew him, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I didn’t want to talk to anyone all I ever did these days was lay in bed and stare at the ceiling praying that it was just some bad dream that I could wake up from.

I knew Bella was having a hard time as well but I couldn’t bring myself to visit her because before because I didn’t want another reminder that the Cullens was gone and Jasper the only person able to drag you from the dark place of my own mind. Jasper was the one who got me to eat again and now I don’t even have the energy to cry.

Im sick of being alone in my sadness so I went to see Bella maybe she could cheer me up a little bit she seemed a bit happier since she started spending time with Jacob. Charlie let me into the house he seemed glad to see me again, I walked to Bella’s room when I heard talking from behind the door I thought it was Jacob. I open the door and my heart shatters seeing Edward sitting on the bed with Bella.

‘Your back’ the mumble words are all I could get out before both of them rushes over to me

‘Y/n….’ Bella starts but I cut her off and look and Edward ‘are the others back?’ I ask trying to hide the tears in my eyes.

‘Yes’ that one word feels like my heart is being put through a paper shredder ‘how long’ I look up at Edward tears staining my cheeks.

‘A few weeks’ those words send me over the edge as a walk down stairs as fast as I can needing to get out of there my whole world feels like it’s caving in on me and I can’t handle it. I held on to hope all this time that Jasper still loved me that he was trying to protect me from himself but now he doesn’t want me at all anymore he couldn’t even let me know that he was back.

I rush home and snuggle into my bed tear streaming down my face as I sob feeling worse then I did when Jasper left me.

I wake up to a cold hand running down my cheek, slowly my eyes flutter open and I see pale skin and blonde hair ‘hi darlin’ the smooth southern draw of jaspers words make my heart flutter as tears well in my eyes.

‘Jasper?’ I ask as rise to my feet and stand in front of him.

‘Yes sugar’ he reaches to wipe my tears but before his hand can reach my face again I smack it away as jaspers eyes go wide in shock.

‘You left’ I sob ‘you said you don’t love me’ Jasper pulls me into his arm ‘shhh I’m here now’ i struggle to get out of his grip ignoring his words as I cry.

‘Y/n look at me…. Please darling’ I stop fighting when him and look into his eyes watching as they good wide seeing how thin and pale I’ve become.

‘I love you but it was the only way you would let me go but please y/n give me a second chance’ a sob leaves my mouth as Jasper picks me up in his cold arm and puts me in bed cuddling me.

‘Sugar I need you to listen to me ok’ is firm voice worries me as he stares into my eyes ‘I know you don’t want to eat so we will sleep for tonight and in the morning I’ll go buy all your favourite foods and I’ll show how sorry I am for leaving you y/n I love you’ before I can respond Jasper pulls me into a passionate kiss pouring all of his feelings of sorrow and regret into it as he pulls away he strokes my hair and doesn’t leave my side as I fall back asleep.

[thewandererh]

🩺✨TW // medical concepts (tubes, ivs, veins), noose mention (cj storm and a spring lyrics)

(personally icky and squeamish on the medical concepts myself due to my health history, but im trying to conquer my fear by drawing them!! baby’s first IV drawing <33)

@calamarispiderart @calamarispider

I drew some fanart of calamarispiderart’s very cool hms guys in my sketchbook 👀. ive been dubbing them the ‘crazy concept calamari crew’ or something of the like. been having a hyperfixation ever since i found their tumblr last week :]. so earhm,, hope you enjoy!!!

.-.

‘’ spoiler image!! this is what stuff will be centered around ,,

.-.

ok art time

slowly listening to the full cccc album my myself :]. im very much in the fandom, just might not get all the references. mind is my favorite guy (everyone else is awesome too) so that might reflect here haha. calamari’s mind neck was so interesting to draw, i had the idea it can retract-ish and hide away in his weird fluffy coat. they all look so cool 😭😭

oH and a little extra whiteboardfox doodle wouldn’t hurt anyone. i wondered why the tubes on his neck were there, and came to the conclusion maybe theyre to substitute bloodflow because his neck is broken and blocked :0!

kind of funny because i first discovered calamari’s art amidst the aftermath of some twilight sedation i had (related to my ✨gut issues✨). discovered both calamari’s (i think) and spook on twitter’s (definitely) art after that whole procedure when i was home and watching turning red, love that movie,,, makes me cry. kinda funny i’m returning to calamari and spook’s arties at the same time after discovering them both at also the same time a while ago. was it october? wow.

anyways uhm…sending virtual hugs calamari!! i know this crew might be a bit old-ish (i had to scroll to find them) but i hope you enjoy it. time to do laundry ok bye

[sturnsbella]

the right person

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

matt sturniolo x fem!reader

summary: matt was right about the guy y/n was talking to being an asshole, but he helps her anyways.

warnings: underage drinking, panic attack and cheating (?)

y/n - pink

matt - blue

madi - red

nick - purple

chris - orange

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

marylou is my mom’s best friend since college, because of their friendship, me and the triplets grew up together. they were like family, we always spent holidays together and we met every week. getting older, we just got closer. nick was always my best friend, chris was like a older, annoying, funny and carrying older brother, and matt… he was kinda different?

when we were like 13, i had a crush on him, and everyone knew it, i was really bad at hiding it. he probably didn’t like me back, since he was 15 and probably saw me as a younger sister or something like that. i hated that, he was so weird with me. he acted like we were just friends but when i started to talk to a boy he was super overprotective, almost like he was jealous. i never understood that.

i got over him years ago, but recently he has been kinda flirty with me. i always take it as a joke, but sometimes i don’t know if it really is..

anyways, it doesn’t matter ‘cause i’m talking to somebody else now.

-

madi, one of the friends we have in common, is throwing a party today, i have 10 minutes until matt, chris and nick come to pick me up. my hair is loose and i did two little braids in the front. i’m wearing a black open backless top, and a tight jeans skirt. my makeup is done, i just apply gloss to finish while admiring myself in the mirror. i take a couple of selfies before laying on my bed and posting it.

matt’s pov

i’m scrolling on instagram waiting for my brothers when i see y/n’s post. she looks really good. i like the picture and comment:

@matthew.sturniolo - “picking you up rn. good pics btw 📸”

it only takes her a few seconds to reply:

@y/n.y/l/n - “ok im waiting. tks 📸”

under my comment a see the comment of the guy she’s talking to:

@evan_williams - “🔥”

i roll my eyes. he’s an asshole and it pisses me off that y/n doesn’t see it. she deserves someone better than him, she is so sweet and kind and i’m not even sure he likes her.

y/n’s pov

i grab my purse while walking to the door when the triplets arrive at my house. i get in the car sitting next to nick.

“hii you’re looking so good y/n/n”

“thank youu” i say smiling.

chris looks at me and smiles

“you really are”

matt glances at me

“yeah you look hot”

i giggle a bit and blush

“shut up”

we listen to music and sing all the way to the party, not talking about anything. we get to the house and we all leave the car.

“y/n/n do you know if evan’s coming?”

“yeah he’ll come. but he won’t stay much tho, he’s grounded or something”

i say as we go to the door. and i notice matt guets quiet when we talk about evan.

“what?”

i say staring at him.

“nothing”

“what is it?”

“you know he’s an asshole, right?”

i roll my eyes at him, i know he doesn’t like evan but he never likes any guy i talk to, is annoying.

“i’ll go grab a drink, do you guys want anything?”

i go to the kitchen after they all said no. in the kitchen i find madi, we take a few shots and then we go dancing.

mini time skip

me, madi and a bunch of other people are dancing with the loud music playing. i still haven’t seen evan, so i text him.

“heyy, are u still coming?”

he took a few minutes to answer the text

“hey, no i won’t make it sorry”

“oh, okay” i text back. i show my phone to madi.

“it’s okay we don’t need him here, let’s drink”

we go to the kitchen once again, and while i’m making my drink i notice madi’s eyes going wide, i look to where she was looking.

“y/n don’t-“

she says trying to stop me from seeing evan hooking up with another girl on the corner of the room. i’m speechless. i mean, we didn’t have anything too serious but i wasn’t hooking up with any other guys, and he told me he liked me… i turn my head to madi again

“i can’t believe him”

“omg i’m so sorry y/n”

“it’s fine”

it’s not, he was so nice to me, i really liked him. and it all just reminded me from when i caught my ex boyfriend cheating on me with my (ex) best friend. my mind racing as my breath got heavier.

“i’ll be right back”

i go to the bathroom, close the door and lean myself on the sink. i stare at myself in the mirror with my eyes filled with tears. it gets hard to breathe when my tears run down my face. i hear someone knock on the door.

“y/n/n?”

matt opens the door, i look at him crying and trying to breathe. he closes the door behind him and rushes to come try to calm me down.

“y/n it’s okay. you are okay”

i shake my head

“you can get through this, okay?” he says breathing deeply trying to make me follow his breath.

“focus on my breathing”

he wipes my tears, i begin to slow down my breathing and calming down.

“matt” i try to speak

“shh, is okay.” he gives a slight smile trying not to look so nervous to help me. i hug him, trying to stop crying.

“i should’ve listened to you”

“don’t say that, you couldn’t know”

“why does everyone fucking replace me like that?”

“it’ll be okay, y/n/n, you got me”

we stay like that in silence for a while. he lets me go and holds my face, wiping my last tear.

“let’s get out of here before i fucking punch him”

i nod, smiling slightly. i’m kinda embarrassed matt saw me like this. i’m not even that sensitive but i think with the alcohol and all.. it was a just lot.

-

the drive back was silent. i was sitting on the passenger’s seat, chris didn’t even said anything about it, he understood something had happened.

i notice that matt isn’t driving back to my place.

matt’s pov

“matt where are we going?”

y/n asks me looking confused

“you’re sleeping over at our house today”

she smiles. i wouldn’t let her be alone right now, she’s too drunk, plus with what happened with evan i don’t want her to do anything stupid.

after 10 minutes in the car i notice y/n fell asleep. “she’s cute” i think to myself, hoping chris and nick didn’t notice me blushing over her. when we get to our house, nick and chris go inside letting me with y/n.

i carry her inside the house and to my bedroom, where i place here on my bed. i turn around to pick up a hoodie for her to sleep in, when i turn to her i see she woke up.

“hey” she smiles

“wear this, i’ll be sleeping on chris’s room if you need anything.” i say turning my back at her.

“matty” i look at her waiting for her to speak.

“can you stay here?”

i smile at her question and nod. i go to lay down next to y/n, facing her.

“you’re okay?”

“i will be. i just…” she pauses “i wish someone would really stay. what is wrong with me? why does everyone always leaves?”

“nothing’s wrong with you, y/n. you’re perfect. he was the problem.”

“he wasn’t even the first one to cheat on me”

“you’ll be alright, y/n/n. you’ll find the right person”

“you think so?”

“i’m sure.” i smile and nod. i wrap my arm around y/n’s waist as she lays her head on my chest. i caress her hair until she falls asleep.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

first fic ughhhh how do we feel?

i have ideas for part 2 but idkk..

i hope you guys like it, sorry for any mistakess

- xoxo bella

😚