#ok to rb i guess irdc

[fusion-ego]

gonna bitch more at length under the cut about the job situation, don’t mind me

i’ve already talked to family and friends about it but this is really just to try and get it the rest of the way out of my head so that i can, hopefully, focus on something else finally

so, long story short, i’ve been employed through a state program at a women’s shelter since May. this is important, as the state program is paying me minimum wage ($12/hr) to do a job that i had, at the time, decided i loved very much, because at the time the shelter had no paying positions available.

in july, the board of directors here held interviews for both the director and assistant director position. at the time, it was the assumption of myself, the president of the board, and the previous director (who was still director at the time) that i would be receiving the director position. i had even been assured by the board president that i was “next in line. if we hire anybody for anything, you’re the first on the list.”

both at and prior to the interview, i made it very clear that i would be willing to quit my state program on the spot if i were to be hired.

well, in the end, i was hired as the assistant director so that a more experienced person could take the director position - i was not upset about this, i’m of the opinion that the director should be more experienced! i was upset that i ended up having to train her, yes, but that’s just life. anyway, the board told me to finish out my program and then the assistant director position was mine officially!

well.

this is where it gets long.

on the one hand, i’ve been working for about five months now for six days a week, 40 hours a week, and i’m exhausted, so i was both looking forward to and dreading the day that i got hired on officially and got half my hours cut down because the assistant director position is part time. i was considering if i really wanted to stay at this job doing 25 hours a week maximum for one more dollar an hour, likely having to get a second job to stay afloat, or if i just wanted to seek a different job where i would at least get two days off a week for full time.

on the other hand, over the last couple of weeks i’ve just been getting more and more irritated with the way that the board runs things. put very simply, the board is a bunch of old christian white ladies from the conservative midwest - i shouldn’t have to elaborate past that on why i, a 20-something agnostic, might disagree with their policies. but when those policies include turning away people who are smoking weed, even medicinally, riding the residents’ asses about rules and regulations to the point that they would rather live on the street than be here, etc, we have bigger problems. it was pissing me off something fierce anyway.

add onto that that over the course of this week, i  - come into work to one of the residents apologizing to me and asking me to get her an exit form so that she could start packing and leave because the board president made her and her roommate cry and she just can’t deal with it anymore. (monday) - worked for seven hours (7am-2pm) because it’s just easier for me to take those hours than to struggle to get a volunteer in for them, went home, and was then called back because someone forgot to remind the director that the board meeting was that night at 6 and she had to go (she was scheduled for 6pm-10pm), and ended up sitting in the office for 2 more hours because they couldn’t get anyone else to cover it on short notice. (tuesday) - my day off! all volunteers and employees know that i am not to be bothered or asked to come in unless it is an emergency. i do my shopping early in the morning because my mom needs to have her truck back by 11am. i finish up at the store at about 8am. i know that our overnight worker for tuesday agreed to stay until 7:45 so that one of the board members could come in to work 7:45-10am. i spend my entire shopping trip dreading a call from her telling me that the board member, who is notoriously tardy, didn’t show up and we need to figure something else out. come 8am, i have not received the call and assume that the board member showed up. at 8:30, i drop my mom’s truck back off at her work and begin the 1 mile trek back to my apartment from there. i do not step foot off the block my mom’s work building is on before i receive the call i’ve been dreading all morning. i end up walking almost all the way to work (an additional 0.3 miles away) before i receive a second call saying i can go back home because the board member is almost there. i walk the 0.3 miles back home in an understandably foul temper. (wednesday) - go into work as usual for my once-a-week overnight shift at 10pm. i nap on and off throughout the shift because i’m exhausted, but nothing happens. (thursday) - i leave work at 7am, head back home, and go to bed, knowing i’m scheduled to be back at 4pm. the day goes fine, and i return to work as expected. i arrive on time and am sat down by the board president to receive a talk that apparently she was asked at the board meeting on tuesday to give me, which boils down to “since you’re not actually employed by us, we’re revoking your back office key. also you’ve been late a few times lately and the board is concerned about that. and you’ve not answered your phone a few times when we’ve called. also the board thinks more people would volunteer if you’d put your name down less on the schedule in advance. and also the board isn’t sure if we’ll actually be hiring you or not, k thx bye.” understandably upset, i sit with the director (who was present because she was asked to be and because she wanted to support me) and cry for several minutes after the board president leaves. i return to my old place in the front office and spend most of my shift looking for other jobs and conversing with a resident who is doing her best to help me feel better. (friday) - after sitting awake until almost 3am because i can’t stop thinking about all this bullshit, i return to work at 7:35am, 5 minutes later than i was supposed to arrive, because i mistakenly didn’t get out of bed until 7:29 and ran to work because i didn’t want our friday overnight worker to have to stay any longer than our previously agreed upon 30 minutes after when she was actually scheduled to leave. i’ve only been here for about 2 of the 7 hours i’m scheduled for and i am already ready to leave. i’m working on a letter of resignation. (saturday)

(tl;dr - it’s been a rough week, we lost a resident monday, i was asked to work after i already finished a shift tuesday, i almost had to come in on my one day off, and then on friday i was reprimanded and had my back office keys taken over some stupid shit. i am now seeking other employment.)

now, on the subject of the reprimand i received yesterday (friday, oct 7, 2022), i am not going to deny that i’ve been late a few times recently, or that i’ve missed calls. i have! i know i have, i own up to that. but i’m frustrated over it because, one, no one is going to pick up their phone every single time that someone calls them, even if it’s work. what if i was in the bathroom and my phone wasn’t? fuck’s sake. and two, i’ve been here both as a volunteer and then as an outsourced employee for almost a year, and in that time, i have been late a grand total of five times. i’ve missed a shift i was supposed to come in for twice.

concerning the hours i’m scheduled for in advance, i work here 40 hours a week, week in and week out. i do this not just because i need a 40 hour paycheck to be able to save any money at all, but because the hours i put myself down for, i have repeatedly had trouble getting volunteers for.

and, do you remember that bit up top? where i was hired as the assistant director and told the position was mine after my state program finished? well, now that they’ve taken my key to the back office because i’m “not employed by them”, i can no longer complete my duties properly. without access to the back office, i cannot access prior resident files, i cannot finish an intake because i cannot access the photocopier to have a printed record of new residents’ ID, social, and drug test, i cannot update the schedule officially because i cannot print it in color in the front office, etc.

so, since my program ends on november 16, i have decided that i’ll go ahead and take an hours cut and i will find any reason i can (unless the director, who has been on my side the whole time, is the one to ask) to not be here during hours they can’t get volunteers for. i’m also turning in a letter of resignation, even though they don’t deserve one.

i’m hoping, to some extent, that they’ll realize how bad they fucked up and scramble to try and keep me, but whether they do or not, i won’t be staying. not unless they’re offering me a whole lot more than $13/hr to put up with their bullshit.

i might come back as a volunteer after i get my new job squared away, but ultimately that will depend upon how the board reacts to my resignation and whether or not i decide to give them an MLA style 8 page paper on why they should all get fucked.

i’m not generally the type to overhype myself or suck my own dick about how much i contribute to a job. i’m an average worker by all measures.

but i was willing to work 6 days a week for them for the rest of the foreseeable future because i truly cared! i have been here for a year, and even before i was actually working for them i was keeping this place afloat by volunteering for 30 or more hours a week.

they fucked up by thinking they could fuck me over.

they’re going to realize that, one way or another.

even if they don’t, that’s fine. it’s not going to matter after i leave, anyhow, but i guess a person can dream about having that kind of power.