#ok wait i was thinking though. they know sai was sent there by danzo

[everykabuto]

[tora-the-cat]

OK. So. It had been brought to my attention that I may be speaking from a higher plane of existence earlier.

I'm gonna do my best to lay everything here out both for everyone's peace of mind and because I have more to say then I should and my skull is a meager prison. 

@ lippeeria @ dairymold @ gingersnapdragonspice you DID NOT ask for this but you DID encorage it so I’m dragging you down with me.

Let’s unpack this piece by piece, shall we?

1. “Might Go Feral.”

A warning

2. “Might Galaxy Brain”

A prediction.

3. about Kabuto being Shin after he faked his death

I believe this is where I started to lose people. Hear me out.

I. physical similarities

-they both have grey hair. it's different shades in the anime, sure, but I'd hazard to guess that it isn't in the manga b/c it's all black and white.

-Kabuto's haircut in one of the youngest pics I could find of him had a haircut very similar to that of Shin. It is also the haircut he seems to have when he meets orochimaru.

-thy both have black eyes.

-Kabuto is only 3 centimeters taller then Shin

-Shin has bags under his eyes. Kabuto is the closest thing Naruto has to Long Suffering College Grad Energy, and thus spiritually has bags under his eyes.

-I don't know enough about drawing or character modeling or whatever to add much here. 

-they both have terrible fashion sense.

II. Histories/timeline

Ok, cold, hard facts first.

-Kabuto was taught Medical Ninjutsu at a very young age by Nono.

-Nono named Kabuto. Kabuto means 'helmet'.

-Danzo threatened to cut the funding for Nono's orphanage unless Nono gave him one of the orphans off record

-Kabuto overheard and volenteered.

-Kabuto entered ROOT under Danzo

-He specializes in Medical Ninjtusu and Infiltration.

-He was freqently sent out of village for missions.

-Shin means 'new'.

-We don't know how old Shin was

So, let me spin you a shadow:

Your name is Kabuto. Or, at least, your given name is Kabuto- given by a woman who heads an orphanage and found you in a ditch without memories. You don’t mind, though- Nono is the kindest person ever, probably, and Kabuto means Helmet. A helmet is armour for the head- a protector. You think it was probably meant to be teasing, when she gave it, but you still take pride in it anyway.

She teaches you how to heal because you beg her to, because you want to help her get more money to heal. She was already tight on money before you got here, you’ve heard, and you don’t want to make her life any harder. She deserves so much better then that. She deserves the world, but you don’t have that yet. The most you can give her is your attention, and whatever skill you might have.

Her smile is sad when you ask the first six times, but, by the seventh you’ve noticed a dent in the amount of food she can buy each week, and she accepts after she makes you promise that it’s what you want to do. She warns you that it’s hard, that healing takes years to master for ever seasoned chakra users, and paitently starts you on basic chakra techniques. 

Two months later she gapes at you when you approach her at lunch, hands glowing with green light, and hugs you. She calls you a genius and pets your head, and you can’t tell if she’s whispering it as a blessing or a curse, but you know she’s wrong for the first time.

You aren’t a genius. If you were, then you’d be able to find a way to give her everything she wants. As it is, you can barely help her stay afloat.

Still, five months after you start learning you’ve revived 16 dead rats around the orphanage and are finally allowed to actually help Nono. By now, you’ve come to see the other kids as family- the younger ones bring you dead rodents to practice on, and the older ones pester you into eating and sleeping when you get caught up in your work. You wish you could do more but, for now, you are content.

And then a man named Danzo comes to the orphanage and you spy on him and Nono, and learn that he’s pressuring her into giving him a child from the orphanage for him to train up.

You know what you have to do- have to, because you can’t let it be anyone else, and you can’t let Nono tear herself up over having to pick one of you. You smirk as you slip out of the window the next night.

Kabuto, right? You protect the head- or, more specifically, the head of the orphanage.

You meet up with Danzo, and he demands to know why he should take you in particular. Your heart thuds nervously in your chest, and you have an idea. It’s risky, sure, and you were going to wait at least another week before trying it, but this entire thing is ‘risky’. You hold your hand to the space between your eyes, and you do the only thing you can- you heal, and hope it’ll be enough as you wisk off your glasses with clear vision.

Apparently that works, because you are stripped of your name and put though test after test after test, and then brought down to a bunker, where you are introduced to more nameless kids. Danzo-sama tells you that Konoha is built up by comradere and that this is your team, made up of a boy with coal eyes and a fish mask who looks maybe a year older then you, a boy with skin as pale as paper and a mouse mask who looks much younger then you, and a girl who looks almost exactly like the first boy with a frog mask. They all smile at you and you feel happy for the first time since you left the orphanage.

Weeks later, in quiet whispers, you are telling each other secrets- everything you can remember about your life before Danzo. You aren’t supposed to, you know, but you also know that you can’t forget Nono or any of the others, just like Fish and Frog- Shisui and Sumi- can’t forget their names. Mouse asks you what your name is, and you almost answer, but you don’t.

Kabuto, your mind whispers, but that isn’t right anymore. There isn’t really a head you want to protect- Sage knows you don’t give a shit about Danzo’s well being, not that you’ll ever say it. 

You hesitate only a moment, and answer Shin. It means new, and it almost fits. Mouse repeats it, like it’s a spell, or something special, and you think one day it will.

Mouse looks up at you with big sad eyes, and says that he doesn’t remember his name, and you smile at him. You feel a wave of De ja vu as you offer to give him a name, and wonder if you looked as excited as he did when Nono gave you your name. You wonder if this was how she felt- nervous, but loving.

Your first thought is to name him after amour, like you were- Yoroi, maybe. The idea is a horrible one, though, and you know this. Here, with Danzo, in ROOT where you are now, no one can afford to be a protecter for someone else.

You name the boy ‘Sai’, something sharp and stabbing, and pray to the sage it’ll keep him alive as his eyes light with joy and he almost squeals.

(You make eye contact with Sumi- Frog, you can’t afford to make that slip audiably- and give a bitter smile. No one can afford to be a protecter, here, but you had a feeling it wouldn’t stop her any more then it would stop you.)

//lets put a pin in that for now and move on, cause I’m sure you get the point.

now, I believe we were at-

4. “and Shisui being a ROOT operative”

Ok so first off- I’m not taking Itachi Gaiden as cannon, mostly because I haven’t read it and also I’ve heard it directly contridicts me. Also I don’t have internet while I’m writing this part and probably won’t bother to fact check it, so sorry it isn’t as thorough as the last bit. Anyway.

-This entire idea is based on the fact that Shisui has his Mangyekyo when he’s so young, and it isn’t adressed in the Anime or Manga because he’s. Super dead. 

-But, like, you can only get Mangyekyo by killing/watching the death of your most special person, right? Lets run with that.

5. “who got his mangyeko when Shin 'died' because the two of them were close”

Your name is Shisui Uchiha, and you’re never going to forget that. It’s repeated like a mantra in your head, over and over again, a constant buzz in the background.

Danzo has already taken so much- too much- from you and your twin sister, Sumi. He can’t have your names.

He already took Mouse’s first name, if he ever had one, and Sumi cried after she felt Snake’s chakra flicker and dim as he the two of you watched him give up his name for a lie. He will never have either of yours.

You live with “Sai” and “Shin” for years, and you are closer then anyone else could ever be. You don’t trust much, but you trust each other. You trust Shin to drop whatever he’s doing and heal any of you if you so much as bruise. You trust Sai to be a voice of reason despite being the youngest, even if his voice breaks all of your hearts every time you hear it get slightly more monotone. You trust Sumi to protect all of you, no matter what. And they trust you to be their heart, keep them as close to alive as they can be, with smiles and meaningful looks that are harder to draw from each of them each day.

Sometimes, Sumi and Sai go to sleep and it’s just you and Shin, and you plan. you scheme. 

The four of you won’t die here. You can’t.

One day, Shin is taken away by Danzo-sama for a secret meeting. Danzo-sama tells him something and, for the first time since you tried to ask him about his actual name, he keeps a secret.

That night you watch him sigh, take a pill, and settle his face into something so cold it freezes you. It’s the face he wears when you stay up trying to plan your escape, but different, somehow. More resigned. more distant.

He starts pulling away from the three of you, after that day, and you get sent on more and more missions. A month after he started acting weird, Danzo-sama took the four of you up a mountain and seperated you- Shin and Sai went into the ravine, and you and Sumi went up the mountain. Danzo-sama coldly told you and Sumi to kill one another or you would both die, and left.

You panic. Sumi will always, always protect you, put you first, and you know that, but it’s still somehow a shock when she  takes a kunai and moves to stab herself.

You’re fast, though, the fastest of the three of you by far, but still not  quite fast enough. She stabs herself, and it isn’t fatal, but it makes you almost sob anyway, and you flash over to her and take the kunai from her. She makes eye contact with you, and it’s devestating to see the acceptance there. She expects you to kill her.

It was barely a thought in your mind, until she looked at you like it was the only choice she thought you had. Your hand shakes and you have a monsterous moment of consideration, before you come to your senses and knock her out. 

You need to find Shin.

Shin’s chakra is impossible for you to find, as always- his has always been so muddled, so inconsistant, and you’ve never been much of a sensor anyway- but Sai’s is easy. For the first time in years, the boy is erratic and emotional, until it isn’t. until it’s still and muted, like he’s sleeping, and somehow you speed up even faster to find them. You see them and they’re laying side by side on the ground, almost like they’re sleeping together as they so often do, but dread pools in your stomach anyway. 

You walk closer and neither of them look hurt, but you feel at their chakra and fuck fuck no please no please-

You’re by their side in a flash, and Shin smiles at you, and for the first time ever you don’t smile back. He’s dying. You can feel his chakra fading, and he looks at you and opens his mouth to speak and coughs up blood. 

“You’re sick.” You observe dumbly, somewhere between detached and horrified. He rolls his eyes at you like he’s annoyed that you’re stating the obvious and then he finally manages to speak, and he gets halfway through his final demand to watch Sai before he breaks into a final coughing fit and dies.

Your eyes burn. At first they’re just tears and you ignore them entirely, but then Shin’s eyes go wide as they start to fade and you can see much more clearly, and the ever present mantra of your name gets louder and louder-

6. and then used his kotoamatsukami on Sai to keep him safe and in the dark, sorta morbidly parralelling Itachi a year or two later.

Shisui Uchiha.

Sai wakes up just as you’re finally managing to get a hold of yourself, and you don’t even know what you’re doing when you look him in eyes that are as red as yours must be- fuck- and whisper  “Kotoamatsukami”.

You enter Sai’s head, and it’s tempting to take everything. To take all the happy memories he has of the four of you so he doesn’t feel the pain of killing Shin, but you can’t. He’s going to Danzo, and he can’t afford to have an ounce of humanity left.

Instead of soothing his pain, you tweak his mind so he thinks that he killed Shin himself, and tear out anything that even vaguely has anything to do with the Sharringan. You dull his and box away his emotions, so he never feels strongly enough to activate them again. Then you make him fall back asleep, forgetting you were even at the scene of Shin’s death, for Danzo to collect.

(You leave a child broken purposefully in the most traumatic way you can manage to the whims of a man who only wants to use him as an asset to a village that doesn’t really care about him, and you never get to fully appreciate how history repeats itself only a few years later.)

It’s all you can do. It can’t be enough, but it’s all you have.

You go back to Sumi and you choke on a sob as you do the same thing to her- you convince her that she killed you, that you got a stab in while you could, and that she bured you to ashes with a fire jutsu. You block off her chakra and emotions to avoid the sharringan too, and then you dissapear up the mountain. 

You spend months up there, waiting for Danzo to find you, but he never does. You sneak back into the village, directly into the Uchiha compound, and slip into the Uchiha orphanage on a whim- just to see if you could. It’s not like you have anything left to loose.

You plead amnesia when people ask about your past, and exceed in the Academy, and meet a boy named Itachi and love him even if it hurts. You join the ANBU, and avoid Danzo for years, and never stop trying to find Sai and Sumi for a second.

In the end it’s danzo that almost kills you and you run once again, and you watch another of your most precious people develop the Mangyekyo, and it’s almost funny. 

You fling yourself off of a cliff into a river, and laugh the whole way down, because you refuse to cry in your last moments.

(Your name is Kabuto, again, because you have killed Shin. You work for Danzo for years and never lay eyes on Sai again because you can’t afford to care about him, and you don’t really know what happened to Shisui but you can feel Sumi amoung the ranks, so he must be dead. You don’t have the chance to mourn him as you are sent on another mission, and you aren’t Kabuto for long.

Your name changes constantly, and you can almost convince yourself you don’t care. Years later the Uchiha massacare happens and you can barely bring yourself to care as you go on another mission for Danzo-

And meet Nono. And kill Nono. And meet Orochimaru. You think Shisui would find it funny, how consistantly fucked up your life is.)

7. IDK

A lie. I’ve thought about this a lot and there is nothing I don’t know.