#okay I'm going to stop talking about persona now for a bit I promise

[suffrin]

Ok i made a promise. Let me try to explain the siffrin knife dream. It will not be eloquent in the slightest but i hope you enjoy the reveal ANYWAY.

So, for waking world context, we had finished the prologue, we'd just started isat, heading into act 2 I believe? The crush on siffrin? Ridiculous. They are taking up our every thought.

So... before bed we were thinking about him and his dagger. How cool it is how cool HE is, etc. Which devolved into 'I need him to stab me as friends.' Etc. This must have been the last thing we thought about before finally falling asleep.

Ok, context over. Dream time. I (referred to as kane in the dream. This is not like some sort of isat persona its just a name i use in certain circles?? So i guess my mind was like oh thats vaguely French, good enough.) Was?? Not frozen in time and for some reason had a key in the house that siffrin really needed to progress. So he said to his party he'd go in the room alone?? To go get it???? Anyway so he comes in and hes like 'I'm siffrin and I really need that key." And for some reason i already know them. Which makes enough sense i GUESS. And I'm like, albeit jokingly 'Oh, I know you do , you can have it, but what's in it for me?' And sif is like in it for you? Oh- right. I'll do anything to get that key, name your price.

So i decide im Not joking actually since he seems to be serious. And so im like 'well im not much for materialistic things..' (not true i love item but dream me is down bad) and siffrin is like oh okay what do you want me to do for you, then? And im tossing the key up anf down absently looking all sad like 'well, siffrin if I'm honest I'm real lonely' he responds 'how lonely?' I say 'desperately' and I tell them that this little interaction is the most human contact I've had in a while. Its obvious I'm prolonging it, speaking slowly. We talk a bit about how lonely I feel, he asks me questions about it and then i think i guilted him by say something like 'this key is all I have, it's been my only company' then i ask them if theyll give me just a little bit of their time in exchange for the key. And he feels bad. He asks me how long i need him for, i tell him not long at all. He stands a little closer to me but still not at all within proximity and asks me 'how close?' I explain to them honestly that its up to them and theres no Too Close for me. They nod and come closer, standing behind me, resting their chin on my shoulder and im pretty sure i almost cry . I tell him he feel comfortable. They hold me closer. They're torn because they need that stupid key, so theyre catching glances at it as i tightly grip their cloak, actually crying now from how touch starved i am. I feel guilty for keeping them, but i cant seem to stop myself. I tell him I'm surprised they didn't just come beat me up and take it, commenting by staring pointedly at the knife on their hip that they 'really could have.' They tease and agree that im not wrong. It's obvious he's conflicted now, his own hands shaky as they hold me. And then I say some freak shit out of vulnerability. 'I should let you. Maybe a knife wound would help me remember you better, give me something to think about when I'm alone again.' I cant really stop the words from coming out as I hug them tighter, eyes full of tears. Theyre taken aback, but they dont quite say no. They pull away a bit and look at me wide eyed since my words sound so sincere. 'You don't really mean that, do you?' I double down, nodding into him through my sobs, stammering out red faced 'I think I do.. will you put it somewhere nice?' . 'Where's...' He swallows thickly . 'Somewhere nice?'. I think for a moment. His response makes it seem like he's actually going to honor my request. I shake in their arms as I consider their question. 'On my thigh maybe, somewhere i can look right down and see it when I'm back to being alone.' They get a little nervous. I'm serious. 'Y-Your thigh?' We talk about the logistics for a minute, how it's a safe spot so they don't have to worry, how it doesn't need to be deep, just enough to scar, etc. Once we go over it, he asks me what happens after. I tell him he gets his key and then he can forget about me, but i don't have to forget about them, I'll have a 'permanent reminder.' I'm shaking in their arms. Their body is in no way still either. They confirm I really want this,they get all sorts of caught up internally by the fact id take a knife for them despite us talking once. i deflect by saying I bet he looks really cool when he stabs someone. 'Do i??" They ask, a bit taken aback by my random compliment (?). 'mark me and i can find out' i whisper a Bit too desperately. They make me again confirm I want this to happen, I tell them i don't think I've ever wanted anything more. Minds made up, we part enough for them to reach for their knife. I shudder, wondering if I'm really getting what I want as I glimpse at it. He takes it out , holds it in front of me. I say 'it's pretty' and that it 'figures' and i tell him i have no reservations. He blushes a bit. About the knife being pretty, follow up with 'not as much as you , if you're curious.' as I eye up the knife. I take a breath. 'Should I sit down?'

Continued in rb since i guess theres a word limit? Found that out because it deleted all of part 2! Cool. I hope my followers who have been wondering about the knife dream are patient!

[randoimago]

Day 24 - Coffee Shop AU

Fandom: Persona 5

Character(s): Takuto Maruki

Type of Request: 31 Days of Oc-Trope-R

Note(s): I love and miss Maruki so much

"Shoot," Maruki mutters as the rain really picks up for the day. The forecast said maybe a light sprinkle so he didn't think his umbrella was necessary. He should've known better than to believe the weather report to be accurate.

And so he rushed through the rain to find a place to stay dry in. That led him to a small coffee shop. It was warm and smelled like baked goods and coffee beans. And the cute barista was staring at him as he got water everywhere.

"I am so sorry. I wasn't expecting the rain to pick up. I promise I'll be out as soon as it stops." Maruki is quick to apologize, before he hesitates and decides to add, "Of course, I can leave if I'm making too much of a mess."

Instead of being mad or scolding him for not having an umbrella, you just give a small smile as you go to grab a coffee cup. "What can I get you? It's on the house, I can't have you freezing on me." Maruki stares for a couple moments before giving a smile as he asks for a hot chocolate. As nice as coffee might be, he could use something a bit sweeter.

Maruki can't help but watch as you move. It seems a bit chaotic to him, but you look like you know what you're doing with preparing his drink. Maruki's gaze goes to the menu on the wall, wanting to buy something as if that'll make up for looking like a drowned rat. But he doesn't get to as you finish his hot chocolate and put a muffin on a little plate next to it.

"It's kind of you to make this for me, but I'm perfectly happy to pay you," Maruki tells you as he approaches the counter after making sure that he's not going to track too much water. He can't help but feel guilty at how sweet you're being.

"It's no worries. The weather forecast did say a light sprinkle. It's not your fault for getting caught in it," you reply and Maruki gives you another smile at your words. He takes a sip of his hot chocolate and winces. "Careful, it's hot," you tease and Maruki chuckles.

"It tastes delicious," Maruki tells you before giving a sheepish smile. "But my tongue is also a bit burnt so maybe I should give it a couple minutes before giving my verdict." As if he would say it tastes like anything else. Instead, Maruki picks up the muffin to take a bite of.

"I debated between that one and banana nut, but I didn't want to accidentally kill you because you had a nut allergy I didn't know about," you tell him and Maruki smiles.

"Well, blueberry is a classic and it's delicious." The smile on your face warms Maruki up, although maybe that's just the hot chocolate that he's sipping.

There's some silence between you two and Maruki feels guilt when he does see you get a mop to clean his mess. You're quick to remind him that it's okay. You two talk some more about this and that, Maruki has a few questions about the cafe that you seem happy to answer.

And before he knows it, the rain starts to clear up. It hasn't completely stopped, but it's gotten to a point where he can actually see outside the windows of the cafe.

"I guess I should get going now, thank you again for being so hospitable," Maruki says and he realizes that he doesn't really want to leave just yet. So instead, he takes another glance to the menu. "Actually, before I go, could I buy one of those banana nut muffins?" He makes sure to emphasis the word 'buy' and you laugh as you get him the muffin.

Maruki pays and makes sure to eye your name tag, giving you another smile and a 'thank you' before he exits. He makes it a goal to become a regular at this cafe.

Taglist:

@reo-the-leo

[theminecraftbee]

and finally for If You're Still Taking Ficlet Suggestions For The Theoretical Persona AU, i am always a fan of skizz.

Impulse looks up from bed, where he's been reading. He's not sure what for; it's a book he's already finished. It won't help him... no, it's a book he likes though. He can re-read it. He doesn't need to perfectly optimize every second. He's wasting time being sick after the sleeping - but he's supposed to just be doing things he likes. He likes this book.

But he's read it before. He's wasting time. Maybe his head's still a mess; maybe getting rescued didn't entirely fix that. He's been considering asking Ren to sneak him a book he hasn't read to get that last bit of intelligence anyway, even if he's supposed to be resting, and not thinking about that, he literally just got rescued from a spiral of thinking about that, or more accurately thinking about Bdubs, that he put him into, that, he shouldn't...

"Dippledop! I brought cookies!" says a voice from outside.

"Cookies? Oh man, come in!" Impulse says. It's a distraction from the book.

Skizz is bright-faced for someone Impulse thinks has probably been up for multiple days. As promised, he's brought cookies. They smell absolutely delicious. Given that the main things he's been fed by Tango (doctor by proxy of having healing magic) are things like "soup" and "saltine crackers", he's pretty excited by the cookies.

"How you feelin', buddy?" Skizz asks, tossing the basket on the bed next to Impulse. Impulse reaches in and nearly cries. They're his favorite; they even have the walnuts in them that Skizz normally claims to hate.

"Like I got hit by a truck. Talk about a role reversal; I can feel why you didn't get back on your feet for weeks."

"Yeah, well, don't go rushing it. We didn't patiently spend all that time with me just to rush you, you know," Skizz says.

"I'm not sure I'd describe that as patient," Impulse says.

"Hey! I was plenty patient!" Skizz says indignantly. "Look at you! Wouldn't you also wanna rush it? But nope! Not doing it! I'm putting at least as much love and attention into you as you put into me!"

"...yeah," Impulse says. "Uh, you don't - owe me for that. I've already gotten plenty from - yeah. Besides, at this point I've technically been through worse?"

"Dude," Skizz says.

"You've watched like half of it?" Impulse adds.

"Dude," Skizz says, a bit more emphatically. "Impulse. Dippledop. Light of my life."

Impulse laughs a little incredulously. "Yeah?"

"I never want to think about you going through worse again," Skizz says.

"Oh, shoot," Impulse says. "I get it. It was - well, it was really hard, watching it when it happened to you. When I found you it was just... that hospital, man. I - yeah, I'm sorry. It had to have been hard, whatever was in my maze. The memory's fuzzy. Ren tried to describe it, but..."

"I am so glad your real-world apartment is cleaner," Skizz says. "And I mean it. Seeing you lying there just... still. I never want to... you can't do that to me again, Impulse. You can't. And when I get my hands on Bdubs..."

"Don't worry," mumbles Impulse. "I won't let him do anything that upsets you like that again, okay? I learned that lesson."

"And I'll learn him! I'll -"

There's a pause.

"...Impulse."

Impulse blinks several times at the sudden shift in Skizz's tone. "Yeah?"

The man leans forward and suddenly wraps Impulse into a bear hug. Impulse yelps. "Stop trying to talk about my feelings when I'm here to comfort you," he says.

"I mean, it's fine if you were upset by -"

"Impulse, you spent like, eight months, all of which you were talking about me, and all of them tracking my recovery. And yeah, you had whatever your tarot card thing is that's going on, sure."

Impulse flinches. Every time he remembers everyone knows about that now, he sort of wants to throw up. Given that nausea isn't actually a symptom of recovering from sleeping sickness so much as just extreme fatigue, he suspects that either he has an unusual reaction as a persona user, or... it's just all in his head.

"I don't care. You'd have done it even if there wasn't the weird magic, right?"

Impulse opens his mouth to say something, and then closes it again. He could say something about how, yeah, back at the beginning, sure, but at this point his head had - well, if he hadn't gotten so mixed up, he wouldn't be in this situation to begin with. If there wasn't this ever-present sense that he had to use his time wisely. If...

"Hey. No. Look at me. Buddy."

Skizz steps back from the hug. Impulse looks at him. Skizz's smile is blinding. It really is like the sun, Impulse thinks distantly. Around them, there's a soft glow. There's a flame in Skizz's hand, Impulse realizes. He doesn't know where it came from. He doesn't think Skizz notices.

"You gave so, so much time for me. Let me help you. Let me do this for you. Okay?"

"Okay," Impulse says hoarsely.

"Okay," says Skizz, and he claps his hands around the flame and gaps. "...oh."

"Hey, I know we just had a conversation about me redirecting to talking about you when you don't want to," Impulse says, staring, "but like... is your persona supposed to do that?"

"What? You're the one who's supposed to know!" yelps Skizz. "I mean, not supposed to, dangit, we were just talking about -"

"No, I know what you mean, but no one ever said - dude, it's like a Pokemon or something! Why is it different now? I thought only mine did that!" Impulse says.

"Haha! Not anymore! I'm catching up!" Skizz says, and he reaches across the bed again to try to give Impulse a noogie.

"Hey! Hey! No fair! That's cheating!" Impulse says. "I can barely fight back! I almost died yesterday!"

"Well I've almost died too, so it doesn't count! That just means I can win for once!"

"Cheater! Cheater!"

"All's fair, dippledop!"

Impulse laughs, and Skizz laughs too, and he forgets entirely about the book.

Thou art I... And I am thou... Thou hast established a genuine bond... Thy bond shall be the flame of inspiration that expresses the true beauty in your heart. We bestow upon ye the secrets of the Sun arcana, granting you its ultimate power.

[MAX rank!]

[asimpforthe80s]

Secret

Starring: Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington

Warnings: male sounds (whimpering and moaning), pet names (good boy), making out, secret relationship.

“Harrington, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Eddie asked, eyes a little wide as he opened the trailer door. The last person he was expecting was him. "I.. need help.." He admitted with an embarrassed blush and his hand scratching his neck slightly. “With what?” Eddie frowned. “Your little girlfriend not paying enough attention to you these days?”

"... just let me in.." he sighed. Eddie looked at him for a few more seconds, before finally nodding and stepping aside. “Fine. Come in.” Steve went to sit down on the sofa. "So.. Eddie.. you're gay, right?" Eddie took a second too long to answer, but he eventually nodded. “Yeah, I am… why do you ask?”

"So, this is my problem.. I.. I think I'm attracted to guys.." he blurted out, slightly high-pitched from embarrassment. Eddie’s eyebrows raised a little bit, and if he was going to be honest - which he was because he couldn’t help but be - he was a little surprised. “You think?”

"Yeah.. and It's stupid, I know.. like, 'King Steve' is gay.. but uh.. Eddie? Is it still gay if I... if I like both guys and girls..?" He asked. Steve seriously had no idea about sexualities. “That’s called bisexual,” Eddie answered, sitting down next to Steve. It was odd, seeing how vulnerable he actually was, but he had asked for help. He was willing to help him.

"I just.. I came to you because I uh.. I don't know any other gay people.. and my friends are kinda homophobic.. plus, it's kinda your fault." He blurted out. Eddie's fault? For Steve being gay? That stopped him. “What do you mean my fault?” Eddie’s face immediately hardened when he mentioned his friends. He wouldn’t stand for any sort of homophobia in his presence.

"Shit.. I did not mean to say that. Steve's voice was slightly high-pitched as he got embarrassed. “No, no. It’s fine. Please, continue.” He leaned forward, his expression softening a little bit, waiting to see what he would say next. “What did you mean?” He blushed. "Now I don't wanna tell you.." He seemed nervous, scared? Eddie raised an eyebrow and put a reassuring arm around his shoulders. “It’s okay,” he said quietly, “really. I’m not going to be offended or mad or anything. I promise. I just want to help you.”

"Oh, no.. you will be annoyed.." he chuckled. "No I won't." Eddie looked at him and smiled, and this time the smile was slightly teasing. "I am willing to bet that I've heard worse things. Just trust me and go on," he encouraged. "Fine.." he sighed. "I uh.. I might kinda.. be in love with you..?" Now that was unexpected.

Eddie stared at him for a few seconds, then he broke out into a grin. "In love?" he said, a little teasing, but then he couldn't help but notice the slightly embarrassed look in Steve's face and he softened once again.

"You're not joking, are you?" He looked away from Eddie and shook his head. He wasn't kidding. "I'm sorry.. it's.. it's stupid, I'm aware.." This time Eddie didn’t even try to hide how surprised he was. “Steve... this is... a little unexpected,” he uttered, not really knowing what to say. The teasing and joking persona he usually assumed whenever he was talking to Steve went out the window in an instant.

No, Steve was serious. And he was... in love with him? This made everything more complicated. "I-i know.. it's just.. it's just stupid.. sorry.." he stood up. Eddie placed a hand on his wrist to stop him. "Wait, don't leave," he pleaded, and to his surprise, Steve didn't even flinch. The expression on Steve's face, almost... apologetic? It was so out of character for him to be vulnerable like this.

"Please. Stay," Eddie asked quietly, his voice now soft and pleading. "Why? It'd just be stupid if you liked me back.. the 'King' of Hawkins and the 'freak' of Hawkins? In love? Heh, just stupid.."

"I, uh..." Eddie opened his mouth again to say something, but the answer was still stuck in his throat. What did he tell him now? That he liked him back? Then that would make this even messier than it was.

No, just for today, he would let Steve down as softly and kindly as possible. The truth would have to remain unknown.

"You're right," he whispered, looking away. "It would be pretty stupid." Steve sighed. "Yeah.." he didn't want it to be true. He wanted to love Eddie. He wanted to be with Eddie. That was the worst part. This made it clear that the feeling was not mutual. Eddie's heart broke a little bit as he watched him.

"I'm sorry," he said softly, now finally looking back. "I wish... it was different..." Steve looked down, saddened. "Yeah.."

"Can I..." Eddie hesitated for a moment, and finally he swallowed his pride. "Can I ask you something? Please... be honest." He nodded. "I guess there isn't more worth hiding from you.."

"Have you always known that you were attracted to guys? Or was I really... your awakening?" He blushed and looked away, thinking back to that day when they met in the boathouse. It was a day he had relived hundreds of times by now, but thinking of it with the new context made him uneasy. "No one before you.. heh.. you started it all.." And just that simple phrase was enough to get Eddie's cheeks red. The tension, the flirting, the chemistry made a lot more sense now.

"You're sure?" He asked quietly, trying to suppress a blush, "there was no moment... no one else...?" He shook his head. "No... you're.. the first guy I've ever liked like this..." Eddie sighed. "This makes things even more complicated, doesn't it..." he chuckled softly, trying to hide the fact that he was feeling all kinds of emotions. "And you're... Absolutely 100% sure that you like women, too?" He nodded. "Yeah.. Nancy, for example.. I really loved her when we were dating.."

"Right..." he mumbled. Maybe that would make this a little easier. "In that case, can I ask you a hypothetical question?"

"Why not.." Steve sighed. To be honest, he wanted to go home and cry. But he didn't want to go yet. "If you... had to choose. Just hypothetical, mind you," Eddie said, looking at him with a slightly more serious expression, "Would you choose to be straight and date Nancy again? Or would you..." he paused for a few seconds before finishing his sentence.

"Choose to be with me?" The question made Steve's cheeks bright red. He thought for a few seconds. But he didn't think about who to choose,he thought about who to say. "You.." he finally said. It was true. He'd choose Eddie any day.

His heart stopped at the sound of that final sentence. His body felt like it was on fire. For a moment, he wanted to get off the sofa and kiss him, but instead he let out a shaky laugh.

"Are you sure? Really?" He asked, wanting to hear him say the words once more. "Yeah.. I'd.. I'd choose you over Nancy.. and that should say something.." he smiled slightly, not wanting to look as sad as he felt. And there it was again. Those three simple words that seemed small and irrelevant, but also meant so much.

It felt unreal when he heard Steve, the jock who had once made his life impossible, say that he would pick him over Nancy.

Eddie was speechless for a few seconds, but then he leaned forward and finally kissed him. He didn't care how risky this was. He'd have to be careful with their dynamic outside of this moment, they couldn't exactly be in a public relationship considering how much the town still hated him. But... this was worth it. Steve's eyes widened, and he kissed him back. It felt so.. right. His lips against Eddie's. It felt amazing.

Eddie was sure he was going to explode from the feeling of it all. Their lips were finally connected, after all these years of fantasizing and wishing for this moment.

But then it hit him. The reality of their situation crashed back in. They could never be seen like this in public, much less reveal this to anyone else. No one could know.

He looked at Steve and forced himself to stop. He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm his raging hormones. "Hey, hey.." Steve put a hand on Eddie shoulder. "Calm down.." Eddie’s breathing was still somewhat rapid as he looked up at him, his own hand resting over Steve’s.

“What are we going to do?” he asked softly, and this time there was no playful tone in his voice whatsoever. This was a question he needed to have an answer for. “No one can know about this. Especially not Nancy,” he added, with a slight growl. "Nancy won't know shit.. but someone already knows about my feelings for you.. but it's okay! She's lesbian! She supports!" He reassured with a smile. That surprised him. “Really? Who is it?” Eddie asked with genuine curiosity, surprised to see Steve’s smile again.

If he had a friend who supported him, who would also be their secret-keeper, that was perfect. He would be a buffer for their relationship outside of their private time together. He just hoped Steve could trust her. "Robin, who else could it be?" He chuckled. He had a point. If there was anyone in town who could keep this a secret, it would be her.

“You’re right,” he smiled. “I still don’t want anyone else to know. This stays between you, her, and me.” He smiled at Eddie. "You sure you don't wanna tell Dustin? The kid's gonna real mad at you for keeping a secret from him.. especially one like this.." The mention of Dustin put a smile on his face. “I think he’ll understand this is a bit different.” He paused for a moment, before adding, “Besides, he would make a terrible secret-keeper.”

He looked down for a short second, then back at him, an important question yet to be answered. “Can I ask you something else?” He hummed in agreement that Dustin wasn't a good secret-keeper. "Sure."

“Have you really fallen in love with me?” he asked softly, the words making his heart pound. They were so simple, but yet so powerful. He needed to know the answer. "I am more sure of it than when I said I loved Nancy.." His heart fluttered again. It was so strange, hearing those words. He had made Steve feel this way.

He couldn’t help but smile. He really shouldn’t, but he couldn’t resist.

“I love you…” he whispered softly, his voice barely audible. A moment later, he was standing up again, looking at Steve and not wanting to let him out of his arms. “I need you to hold me,” he spoke quietly, his tone now serious and longing. "Mhm? Hah... you're just a cuddly guy, hm?" He chuckled and hugged Eddie. “Shut up,” he growled jokingly, and then he leaned forward, placing his nose against Steve's neck. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. The feeling was intoxicating.

And then he pulled away for a second, looking at him. "I have one last question for you," he whispered. "You sure it's the last one?" He laughed, considering how Eddie has asked him like four questions by now. Eddie chuckled and shook his head. “Fine… but this one has to be really the last one. Just let me hear the answer before I let you go.”

He paused for a few seconds, his breath still coming out heavy, but he wasn’t really sure if that was from that simple fact that he was with him, or the tension of what his next question would make him feel.

"Do you... could you see us having a relationship in secret? Even if no one else knew...? Just for us?" He kissed Eddie's forhead. "If that means I can kiss you whenever we're alone, yeah.. definitely.." The feeling of his lips against his forehead was almost as hot as their previous kiss, and he had to force himself not to groan.

This could work, he just needed to be careful. As much as he wanted to tell him how much he meant to him in that moment, or to kiss him until they both collapsed to the floor, he knew he had to restrain himself.

"Yeah, that’s the idea," he whispered, leaning up and finally leaning down for another kiss, this time on the cheek right below his mouth. "Mhm.. good." He smiled. That was the problem with being with a guy like Steve. There were no words to describe how hot it was to see him act so soft around him.

He looked down, unable to meet his eyes. “Are we done talking now?” If they kept this conversation going for much longer, he would lose the will to resist him and just jump on Steve right there and then. "You want to be done talking?" He smirked. His breath hitched one last time before he finally answered, “Maybe not for now,” he whispered, but he wouldn’t give in to any more temptations. The line was thin as it was.

“I should probably get you home before any of this becomes a little too obvious, right?”

"Yeah.. sadly.." he huffed with a fake pout. “But for now…” Eddie finally decided to give in to that urge he had been suppressing for a few seconds too long, and before Steve could react, he leaned forward and gave him a long and passionate kiss that left him breathless once again. “I can’t promise that I will stay away from you once you leave,” he whispered as he pulled away.

"Fine by me." Steve chuckled. “You know…” he chuckled too, “I’m glad we were able to talk about this.” As much as he’d hoped that Steve felt the same way about him, this was beyond what he could have ever expected.

He kissed his forehead one last time, and as much as he wanted to kiss him on the lips, he knew he needed to resist. “Have I got anything on my lips?” he whispered cheekily.

"Yeah, mine.." he said and kissed Eddie one more time. The kiss was the perfect one to end this meeting, not too long or too short, not too passionate or too intimate.

Eddie let out a content sigh afterwards, but then he suddenly remembered the question he had asked him about their relationship.

“Before you leave,” he whispered again, “can I ask one last thing?” Steve started laughing. "You said that the last question!" He chuckled along with him. “I know, I couldn’t help myself.” He waited for his laughter to die down, before finally asking, “But can I ask it anyway?” He nodded. "Fine, since you kiss so good.." That little compliment made him chuckle. "And you're so cute..."

He looked away from him, and then back again. He was about to ask the final question, and he knew that it couldn't be delayed anymore.

"Do you want to keep this a secret?" The question caught him slightly off guard. "Well.. if we don't, your bullying will get worse.. but at the same time, I want to show you off and.. and be fucking proud of loving you.." Eddie’s heart stopped for a moment when he said that. He almost couldn't believe those words. Was he serious about this? Was he actually willing to take that risk to be with him?

His expression was still serious, but a soft smile was starting to curl its way on his face.

“Are you really willing to take that risk for me?” He sighed. "I really.. really want to show you off as my boyfriend.. but we both know you'll get even more bullied.. especially by Jason.." The mention of Jason's name immediately brought the frown back to his face. That was one guy who would not react well to the news at all.

"Yeah..." The thought of it made him shudder. He couldn't stand the thought of Jason hurting Steve. He'd lose his mind.

"We need to put a distance between us at least in public. Maybe we can work out something like... a secret code. That way if I have to be around Jason and I have to show that I don't like you, we can make it seem that we have agreed to stay apart." Steve nodded. It seemed like an okay plan. He nodded back, and finally, he let go of him. It was time to take him home.

“I had a great time with you tonight,” he smiled. As much as he wanted to stay and kiss him more, he needed to go home.

“And I know this may not seem like it, but you… I want to make you happy. Really happy.” He smiled. "You already do.." His heart did a flip-flop at that. It was moments like these that made him want to keep seeing Steve forever.

“We should do this again soon,” he smiled, “maybe next weekend?” He smirked, trying to think of a pickup line but bailing on it. "Maybe every weekend?" His smile became a lot wider as he realized what Steve had done. That was a good way of asking for things without directly asking.

“Every weekend, huh?” He leaned slightly until their bodies were almost touching. Their foreheads bumped together, and then he leaned in closer, letting his mouth close to Steve’s ear.

He whispered playfully, “I’ll have to think about it. It depends on whether you’re a good boy.” Steve froze at Eddie's comment. Good boy? Why did that make him feel weird and tingly? His eyes widened when he saw Steve’s reaction. He couldn’t tell if it was good or not. The words “good boy” in his mind still translated to what he had always believed it to mean, but he could tell that to Steve, it had a different meaning that he wasn’t comfortable with.

“Uhm… was that bad?” he mumbled, looking away again, “I didn’t mean it like that.”

"N-no.." he stuttered, flustered as hell. The way he stuttered made his eyes light up again.

“You looked surprised for a second,” he chuckled, but then his smile became wider, and he leaned back, looking down at Steve and his red cheeks. “Was that an okay thing to say, or should I not call you that?” "NO!.. no, no.. k-keep.. keep calling me that.." he blushed, slightly embarrassed at his own yelling. His lips curled up into a satisfied smile. There was definitely something about this that was working for both of them, and if it made him happy to be called it, then he would definitely keep doing it.

“Good boy,” he repeated, leaning closer so that their bodies were touching, “I’m sure you’ll find plenty of other things I’ll call you if you keep being such a good boy.” Steve had to hold back a moan as Eddie kept calling him a good boy. Something told him that this wasn’t the time or the place to push it any further, so he let out a small laugh at Steve’s reaction after his final comment. After that, he would have to leave.

“You need to get home now,” he leaned back once again, looking deep into his eyes. “But please… promise me something…?”

"Y-yeah?" He paused for a moment, and then he finally said, “Promise me that you won’t date anyone else from now on… not just until we manage to make our relationship secret. Just… promise me that you won’t be with anyone but me… please.” He smiled. "I promise.. but can I ask you something?" His heart skipped a beat. The way Steve was asking this question made him feel that this wasn’t going to be an easy one to answer.

“Sure… go ahead,” he said softly, hoping that he wasn’t going to regret this. "If people get suspicious about us.. I might have to date a girl.. I will not do anything intimate or lovey-dovey, I swear.. but is that okay? I don't want to, if I'm honest.. but it's a panic-plan.." The request didn’t upset him, in fact, it felt like such a Steve thing to say, thinking about every potential problem that could happen in the future. He wasn’t expecting it to be necessary, but just knowing that Steve would take that precaution for the both of them made him smile even more.

“It’s fine… just promise me that you’ll only pretend to date her. If I have to hear about some girl that you’re actually dating, I will probably lose my mind.” He chuckled. "I promise.. and it's only a panic-plan, okay? I'm not gonna do it if people don't get suspicious.." That relieved him a little bit more. At least now he felt like he had his part to take to ensure they could make this relationship work and have it go as secret as possible.

He looked at Steve’s eyes, so trusting and hopeful, and then he nodded. “Okay… okay, I can deal with that. It’s better than you actually dating someone. We’ve got this, right? We’re going to make this work, no matter what.” Steve nodded. "Goodbye kiss...?" He smirked. His lips curled into another smile, a mischievous one this time. He was so happy that it seemed nothing would keep them apart, not even a panic-plan.

“Of course there will be a goodbye kiss… always,” he brought his lips to his, and this time he wasn’t holding back. He gave it his all and let their bodies touch as much as they could. For now, it was okay to act publicly like this, as if they hadn’t just decided to keep things secret.

Steve was slightly taller than Eddie and a lot stronger. That was quite obvious when Steve literally picked Eddie up and held him as close to him as possible while kissing him back. It was just so… natural. His body fit against Steve’s. Their bodies pressed against each other, and there wasn’t any need to hold back. As soon as Steve lifted him up, he was more than okay with it. It was the way it should always be, but as long as they were in private.

“I think it’s time to get you home now,” he mumbled in between the sounds of their kissing, but he really didn’t want to pull away. "But I wanna stay with you... hold you close all night.." he pouted. “I want that too…” he whispered, smiling against his lips, “Believe me, I would love nothing more than to stay like this all night.”

He sighed and pulled away. “But this isn’t the way to go about things, you know. Not if we want to make sure nobody finds out.

“This is just a goodbye kiss for now, but I promise we’ll have all the time in the world for cuddles and other stuff later. For now, I should take you home.” He pouted and huffed. "Fine.."

“Don’t be angry at me…” he sighed, but he didn’t sound at all serious with those words. He was sure that after all the years of having such a one-sided crush on Steve, he deserved to finally be allowed to be with him.

“But… there’s something I should give you before I let you leave…” He looked up at Eddie, pout disappearing immediately. "Hm? What?"

“Open your hand,” he held out an open palm, but he didn’t explain further. He could already tell that his boyfriend-to-be was going to react positively, which was all that mattered. He held his hand out open. He took his hand and slid something inside of it, and then he squeezed it closed so that Steve couldn’t open it back up. “Don’t look at it yet,” he said, “not until you’re home. Just promise me that, okay? After that, do what you want.”

He smiled down at him, his excitement growing as he waited for Steve’s reaction. "Okay..?" He looked suspicious of Eddie's 'gift'. "Do you promise... really promise?" he gave him an innocent smile, and he really hoped that Steve wanted him enough to not peek and wait for home. But considering what was on the line, it would be okay if he didn't... It was his fault that he wanted to give him a surprise.

As long as they both tried to make this work until they managed to make it permanent, that was all that mattered. "Fine, I'm not opening it until I get home!" He promised, hand over his heart and everything. Steve might be a jock, but he could be quite dorky and weird at times. He chuckled. For all the confidence that Steve had, there really was a dorky side to him that he quite loved. He brought his hand up to his cheek and gently squeezed, hoping that he would actually keep this promise.

"Okay... now I can let you go home?" He nodded. "Fine.. my BMW is outside.."

"I know..." He chuckled again. He knew full well which car was Steve's, but he was enjoying taking the piss out of him. "I might be a nerd, but I am very observant, you know?"

"I'm glad you'll be safe at home now..." He finally said, and his expression turned to something more serious. "Drive safely," he added, "and please don't go making it too obvious that we're dating."

"I'll try.." he nearly giggles and gets in the driver's seat. He stepped away from the door as he watched Steve get into the driver's seat, he was almost in awe at how he could make someone so intimidating so endearing at the same time.

"I'll talk to you later. Have a good night," he smiled, and it was clear that a secret message was being sent along with those words, "See you tomorrow." Steve started the car and drove away. And as the cocky idiot he was, he did a trail-break. Eddie laughed as he watched the car suddenly accelerate and brake. It was such a Steve thing, too. Cocky idiot? Yes. Adorable idiot? A thousand times yes.

Even though he was laughing, he felt a pang of jealousy as the car disappeared from sight. Tomorrow would not get here soon enough... As soon as Steve got home, he ran into his bedroom and looked at what Eddie had put in his hand. His parents may not be home or ever come home, but he still went into his bedroom. As Steve turned on the light and examined what was inside his palm, he would find a small box with a gift-wrap. On the top, he could notice his name scrawled in Eddie’s handwriting.

Steve laughed slightly at Eddie's bad handwriting as he opened the small gift. Inside the box was a small necklace. He immediately noticed that it was Eddie's guitar pic necklace. The one thing Eddie never gave away. "Holy... fuck, Eddie.." he smiled, knowing Eddie really cared about him. That one gift right now meant far more to Eddie than Steve could ever know. The fact that he was willing to give it away to one person and one person only really meant the world to him.

It was so much more romantic than he had expected, and to have been given Eddie's most important possession ever was almost too good to be true, but here he was holding that necklace in his hands. It was real.

[moonybadger]

I’m always so exhausted after finishing a Persona game. Like it’ll just consume my thoughts and time almost completely for about two weeks and when I finish, all the other things in my life that were being held at arm’s length for a bit come rushing back into my brain at mach 1000 and knock me ass over teakettle. Like I ALWAYS feel like Robin Williams in Jumanji

[aike-pandas]

I lied

imagine RattleSnake Naga y/n. [fangs appear and y/n has small fangs vs the normal sized human ones

HOW THEY MEET

Dream:

he met you when he Exiled Tommy and tried to attack Tommy, you appeared and coiled around Tommy like how snakes do around eggs and rattled and hissed. Your Poison filled fangs flicking out. He fell hard for the reasoning your dangerous. And also I feel like he was the kid to just grab poisonous snakes and kiss them as a joke :/

SapNap:

He was spying on L’ManBurg and tripped over your burrow, you crawled out thinking he was some livestock, the Same time some other Nagas appeared so you panicked and dragged him in to your burrow. Also kissed snakes with Dream

George:

he was talking to XD when you where hunting, and ofc XD saw you and you just hissed as his “GrEatNeSS” scared away that poor pig. So in your book George doesn’t have the best rep;-;

told Dream and SapNap to stop kissing rattle snakes and King Cobras

Karl:

he met your grand ancestor first, the titan boa Naga, and he searched the whole SMP for you and found your Burrow, you both panicked because “Cute small boy.” “Giant snake person.” Took in injured animals PROVE ME WRONG.

Quackity:

you thought he was a snack and coiled around him, like during the butcher army arc and you where visiting Techno, [more like he was visiting you in the warmest place possible that’s kinda close to his house] and you Captured Him and decided he was too pretty :/

More poisonous Snake kissers

BBH:

you where by the neither portal in winter and he walked out, you where dead asleep and he noticed the rattle. Perhaps you where attacked and needed warmth to properly heal, he tapped your scales and I’m sure he’s hella warm, so your tail subconsciously coiled around him and trapped him as he healed your tail as you slept holding him like a teddy

Skeppy:

Cold. Cold man. Ew. -your words exactly when you coiled around him to use as leverage to escape. After so you uncoiled and hissed and bit him, but he turned into diamond at the right time so you just hurt your teeth ;-;

Foolish

you where very. Very lost. Since you prefer the Forest for better soil for Burrows and more prey, but you went to visit someone and now. Your being carried by big golden shark. But it’s okay he’s warm.

AweSamDude

you went into the portal in the prison right as he was entering and you followed after because well, I’m sure the Prison is warm with all of the lava. So you lived on the mice and slept by the cells, until he brought in Dream and he spotted you hiding. He dragged you out causing him to be bitten, on his armor so he had to help you take care of your fangs so you can continue living in the wild.

Wilbur

you helped him build L’ManBurg, and watched him blow it up. . . GhostBur was great company, he was too cold though, he didn’t have your Bur’s warmth. . Until Dream promised to revive him if he got some venom. Which you agreed and now your taking care of the giant man corpse. He can be seen trapped in your tail as you have a hiss off with Quackity, stuck in your burrow as you go hunt. Or Asleep in a shared Cabin you built with a more man-made like burrow with heaters.

We both know I'm going to write little One-Shot of these ideas.

Meeting Naga Y/n!

*Friendly reminder this is with their Minecraft personas! I don't write about CCs.

Read rules before requesting~°♪

————————————————————————————

“Dream”

🧫 Needless to say, he caught a high interest on you.

🧫 You despised him, but this man didn't fall to show you attention every single day, when he went to visit you.

🧫 He didn't fall to give you little things, in exchange of a little proof of your poison.

🧫 After a long, long, time, you accepted.

🧫 After that, you had a good friend, that was completely honest with you despise being a manipulative prick with everyone else.

“Sapnap”

🔥 This man... He was both terrified and amused by your presence.

🔥 And he specially loved the fact that you were strong.

🔥 He was thankful that you decided to not eat him in exchange for meat.

🔥 With your consent, he rubbed gentle over your scales, he loved the feeling.

🔥 Finds your poison very interesting and has questioned you how many things you can kill with it.

🔥 Now he smiles every time you great him, wrapping your tail around him as If you were gonna eat him.

“GeorgeNotFound”

❄️ Despite you disliked him, he was intrigued by you.

❄️ It took a while, but you guys seemed to start liking eachother.

❄️ You guys spent a lot of time cuddling. After all, you guys like warm places.

❄️ George likes how you treat with poisoning XD, finds it entertaining.

❄️ Cuddle buddy✨

“Karl Jacobs”

🌆 God he almost passed out.

🌆 Good thing you managed to caught him.

🌆 You liked him instantly.

🌆 He now tells you stories, specially tales of the past.

🌆 He loves your interesting in them.

“Quackity”

☄️ This man got scared the honk out of his life.

☄️ Was impressed by you, and was careful of not hurting you with his weapons.

☄️ Took a while for you to let him free. You wanted food.

☄️ But he promised to give you food so, you're good.

☄️ He found a new friend and so did you :D

☄️ Loves cuddles with you.

“Badboyhalo”

🌺 He found you adorable once you waked up.

🌺 You got a bit ashamed to the fact that you slept hugging him like a Teddy, but he reassured you that he didn't mind.

🌺 Loves to travel with you, or just spend time in warm zones with you.

🌺 Just like you tangle your tail around him, he tangles his around yours so he doesn't loose you in the way.

🌺 He didn't showed you up to Skeppy, but that was because he didn't want to see his friend fight (again) with another person for the "Bad's Best Friend" title.

🌺 Overall you're two good friends.

“Skeppy”

💮 Needless to say, you both disliked eachother for a long time.

💮 He helped you take your fangs. Under obligation, but he helped.

💮 He really, really, really, disliked the "cold" comment.

💮 Somehow you both managed to start liking eachother, no one knows how, but you guys do you.

“Foolish”

☀️ He saw you as both company and a pet. That's it.

☀️ Definitely had to fight with XD for his attention.

☀️ He had a big interest in you. And you were happy to answer his questions.

☀️ You both now had a good goofy friend.

“Awesamdude (Sam)”

☘️ He really didn't know what to do with you.

☘️ He did take well care of you though, so there's that.

☘️ He actually didn't mind letting his mind focus on anything else than Dream.

☘️ You're both friends now.

“Wilbur Soot”

🪐 So, you know those people that use their snake pets as a collar? Yeah, that's him.

🪐 It was truly hard to make you accept, but he succeeded in the end so... Yeah.

🪐 He loves how intimidating you get, specially when it comes to Quackity.

🪐 He feels safe with you, and gives you cuddles as a price for being a good Naga.

————————————————————————————

*Hallo! Hope you enjoyed!

[couldyouspeakmyname]

Not me basically stalking this whole page bc like No OnE writes of Beastars and I'm starved

I love your writing honestly, thanks for doing God's works for us lmao 💕

When you have time could I request a sheep/wolf female reader (looks more like a sheep and only had wold teeth/ears) with Pina and/or Bill? Just like their initial reaction to them maybe and after they find out that she's technically a carnivore (even if she looks like a sheep)

Thank you!

Are you asking me to write for a wolf in sheep's clothing? Because it feels like you're asking me to write for a wolf in sheep's clothing and I am all about that life

Thank you so much! That makes my day ;-; I also got a bit carried away, so I hope it’s okay. Feel free to send again if I missed something!

Pina

“A new student?” Pina closed his locker, interest now fully on Els. Pina really hadn’t been listening that closely, but it wasn’t everyday the school got a new student. 

“Yeah! A new girl. She’s a sheep,” Els continued, going over the very few details she knew. It wasn’t much, but she was still excited about it. As she continued to speak, she quickly checked her phone. Pina could tell by her sudden expression that it was later than she anticipated. She needed to get to class.

“Why are you telling me?” Els gave him a look while slinging her bag over her slim shoulder. 

“Because you’re a total flirt! I don’t want you to make the school or the drama club look bad. I heard she may stop by the club after classes. Behave yourself, okay?” Pina just gave her a look as she retreated. He shook it off, he didn’t need some upperclassman lecturing him. It was well meaning, but when had anyone ever stopped Pina from doing what he wanted?

-

Your hand grips the handle of the door. You take a deep breath through your nose, letting it out through your mouth. You tried to anchor yourself, and prepare for the onslaught. Everyone at the school seemed really nice so far, but it wouldn’t take much for that to change. 

“You’re the new girl, right?” You jump, pointed ear flicking as you turn on your heel in alarm. You hadn’t even heard the male walk up behind you. Were you that much in your head? Usually your instincts were better than that. 

“Yeah,” Being a sheep meant you were pretty small, and it helped you talk to the ground so no one would see your fangs. You were really good at hiding them, you had to be. 

“My name’s Pina, you are?” You looked up at him, taking note of his shining horns and wool that fell just right around his form. He looked like he walked out of a magazine. 

“O-Oh! Y/N,” You offered a small closed mouth smile. Pina didn’t stop looking you over. Your alarm bells went off. There was definitely something up with him. Did he know? Usually people just assumed your ears were deformed or you were just bad at managing your wool which is why there were so fluffy. Was it your eyes? Your hands? You trimmed your claws between classes, so by all accounts you looked like an herbivore. 

“Nice to meet you. Don’t look so worried, pretty much everyone is tolerable,” He reached past you and walked in, letting you follow after. 

- 

You’d been going to drama club for a while. Thankfully for you, everyone was super nice, if not al little eccentric or weird. It at least gave you a solid friend base, if nothing else. You often would eat with some of the members. Sheila even introduced you to another sheep named Peach. Though, more often than not, you’d find yourself with Pina at some point during the day. You had no idea how it happened, it always just...did. You had suspicions he had somehow orchestrated running into you. 

“What class are you studying for?” He tried to peek over at your book, having managed to peel his eyes away from his phone that pinged every few moments with messages, no doubt from the possibly many girls he had been dating. 

“Science,” He looked immediately disinterested, going back to his phone. He started texting again, at a speed most cheetahs would find impressive, but he continued to try and carry a conversation with you. 

“Okay, I have to ask. What’s your deal? Why did you transfer, and why did you end up in drama club?” Pina’s words would have been accusatory, or pointed, but his tone was so casual it was like he was asking about the weather. 

“My deal?” You froze, and tried to casually turn the page, but you had stayed still a few moments to long. You didn’t have to look over to know Pina was now leaned over, waiting. 

“Your deal. Like, Legoshi is a pervert, Sheila used to be a dominatrix or something...No one normal as you usually joins. So, what’s your deal? You’re so...normal,” You hands closed your book with a thunk! You adjust on the bench to turn over and look back at him, scooting away just a smidge. 

“Promise you wont say anything?” You looked serious, but Pina was unaffected. Instead he tapped his chin, seeming to think hard about it. 

“Sure, why not?” He smiled, that same charismatic smile that he had perfected. You didn’t know if it was genuine, but his words were. Pina was a flirt, but he wasn’t known for spreading or telling rumors. Plus, he was your friend, even if you didn’t know how you ended up being friends in the first place. 

“Well, I’m not a sheep, at least...not all sheep,” As you spoke, he leaned in, curiosity getting the better of him. His phone was now long forgotten, and not even the chirping from text alerts took his gaze away from you. You glanced around while mulling how to say what you need to say in your head. The coast was clear. 

“I look like a sheep but, I’m also half wolf,” As your spoke, you didn’t hide your fangs, and actually went out of you way to adjust your more pointed ears. 

“Woah,” You waited for the fallout. Waited for his expression to turn to disgust, or for him to ask if your wolf parent ate your sheep one. You wanted for all of the normal questions that came with the confusion and ager from finding out you were a hybrid, but it never came.

“So that’s why you’re weird looking,” You shot a glare his direction. At least he was honest.

“Yeah, I guess...So, you wont tell anyone?” Pina leaned back.

“Nah I wont tell anyone about you, as long as you don’t chew on me at practice,” he shoots you a smile. This one seemed actually honest. 

“Thanks...I really appreciate it” 

“No problem. Can I ask another question?”

“Sure, I guess,” You suddenly felt much more relaxed. It was like a weight had been lifted. 

“Do you classify as a carnivore or an herbivore? I’ve never met a hybrid before,”  You blinked, and fiddled with the corner of your book.

“Carnivore, technically. I have to take supplements since I’ve been eating the herbivore lunch. It’s not balanced for me”

“Oh! Well, that sucks,” He laughed and grabbed his phone again. “Just order the food you want. I’ll can always get you one, or ask Bill to get an extra. Or Legoshi, they’d get one for you,” He was so casual about it, you almost had to pinch yourself. 

“Hey Pina?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks...for being so nice about it.” 

“No problem. You can’t help who your parents are, plus you’re more interesting than over half the school. It’d be a waste to stop hanging out with you over something so stupid.” 

----

Bill

“New student?” Bill held the door open for Els who snuck by, holding her bag. They’d just got done at drama club, and Els was eager to talk about the new student their director told them about. Supposedly she was a transfer from another school. The details weren’t specific but they were all pretty excited. Having someone from a new school could offer new perspectives, which could be great for the drama club.

“Yeah. She sounds like she could fit right it,” It’d be nice to have another girl in drama and another herbivore. After the incident with Tem, some herbivores were still cautious about carnivore students, so it was exciting this new girl was joining an interspecies club out of the gate. 

“I hope so. Just gotta make sure Pina doesn’t do anything overwhelming, we don’t need that kind of drama,” Bill did not need Pina to flirt with the new girl, and go and forget her name. Bill was honestly one to talk, but that was beside the point. 

“Well, we’ll get to meet her tomorrow!” Els smiled, and they waved goodbye to one another. She was in high spirits, and with a shove of her shoulder let herself into her dorm room. 

“See you tomorrow Els!” Bill waved and went to his dorm. A new girl huh? He wasn’t thrilled at the idea of more Herbivores to look after, but if they were even a fraction as cool as Els, they couldn’t be to bad. 

-

You took a deep breath, and your hand gripped your school bag tightly. You grabbed the door of the drama room and pushed it. It was a bit stuck, but nothing major. You did pretend to struggle with it in order to fit the persona you were following of being a basic herbivore. No one had to know about the fact you had a carnivore parent. 

“Hello! Sorry I’m late! I got a bit lost,” You walked in, smiling carefully, avoiding showing any teeth. Your slightly longer and fluffier ear twitched. Most students just thought it was some sort of deformity, and were polite enough not to talk about it. 

“Welcome!” A goat ran up to you, and quickly introduced herself. It took very little time for you to be introduced to everyone else. They all seemed nice, friendly. Juno and Els were quick to sweep you away from a flirty and curious Pina, and show you the ropes and the possible areas you could end up.

“This big guy is Bill, don’t worry, he’s not as big of a jerk as he likes to pretend to be,” Els fondly pat the large tiger on the arm, and he just gave you a smile.

“Nice to meet you,” Bill smiled your direction, but there was a moment where the look in his eye turned briefly to confusion, but it went back to normal almost as quickly as it came. 

“Nice to meet you too!” Maybe it was your imagination. Yeah, your imagination. 

-

Drama was really fun. Everyone was supportive, if not a bit quirky. Even out of drama club, they tended to stick together. Els, Sheila, as well as Juno, tended to stick close with you. Thanks to them, it wasn’t difficult for you to find a close group of small and honest friends. That also included Bill, on rare occasions. He stuck mainly with carnivores, but the rare times you were alone, he’d slide next to you. 

“Hey, you doing okay?” He had two meals in his hand. You wondered if he was meeting someone. 

“Yeah, I’m doing alright!” You set your supplements down. He eyed them for a moment and motioned with his head.

“It’s nice outside, we should go enjoy the rest of the evening,” You sat confused, but decided to follow him. Bill carried those two trays out and somehow still held the door for you. 

“Thanks, but why do you wanna eat outside?” You sat on a bunch, setting your try on your lap, and you opened your drink to take your supplements. When people asked, you told them they were just additional vitamins. 

“So you could eat this instead,” He offered the second tray he had been holding. You looked at him confused. 

“Why?” It was the carnivore lunch tray. You were a sheep, as far as anyone knew. 

“Because taking supplements suck,” He sat down, and offered the second tray again, “Take it, I want to eat my food too, kinda hard to do that with my hands full,” You set your other food aside, and took the offered tray, 

“So, you know?” Bill shrugged. He didn’t seem that worried about it. 

“Yeah. To be fair, Aoba figured it out first. He happened to see you yawn one day, spotted your fangs. Aoba has really good eyes, being a eagle and all. We figured you didn’t want anyone to know so we haven’t asked you about it,” You freeze. If Aoba knew, who else did?

“Aoba knows?” You looked shocked. You thought you had been so careful! 

“Yeah. Don’t worry about it. Only Aoba, Els, and I know. We didn’t want to bug you about it, but it’s been bugging me, watching you take those pills all the time. It’s better to just eat what you need instead of eating salads and hoping your “Vitamins” even it out. If you’re part carnivore, have some pride in it,” He spoke between eating. You were surprised, he seemed so okay with it. 

“Oh,” You didn’t know what to say. No one had treated you different, everyone was still super nice. 

“Promise you guys wont tell anyone?” You finally picked up your utensils, and began eating the lunch you should have been getting from the beginning. It was really good, but maybe that was just because it came from someone who accepted you. 

“Promise. We stick together, you’re one of us now,” He jokingly shoved your thin shoulder with his own, grinning. 

“So, what are you mixed with?” Bill asked, his food all but gone. How did he eat so much so fast? 

“Sheep and a wolf,” He laughed.

“Oh boy, I bet that must be a story,” He laughed, and you would bet he was trying to picture how that happened.

“Yeah,” You kept eating, finally relaxing. You didn’t even know you were tense. 

“If you ever need anything you can ask me, okay? Like I said, we all kind of stick together. I don’t mind buying extra food for you so you can avoid taking those pills,” He looked away, scratching his cheek. You got the feeling he wasn’t used to being sincere or so outwardly nice. It wasn’t a surprise, he frequently played the tough guy. 

“Thanks Bill.”

“You’re welcome” 

[pretoriafics]

Be mine - Immersive Weekend #2

Okay, first of all, I would like to say that I got a lil bit confused about the "dating" word. I did some researches because, as you all know, I'm a Portuguese native speaker who has English as a second language. I'm sorry if this request is not what you are expecting ç_ç I did my best on it. I can't avoid language issues. You can request another one if you didn't like this.

+18 ONLY Reader’s name: Anne Word count: 1.755 Pairings: Hungarian!Chubby!Reader x Bucky Contain: Tons of fluff <3; Smutty Warnings: English is not my main language <3; Inappropriate language MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE MASTERLIST

You used to take a few photos from Central Park itself and couples. This last one gives you an amount of money and helps you to share your photography studio. Bucky met you one of those days, and you were taking a few photos from the park. You were so charming, especially your size. Bucky would love to hold your shorty form in his arms.

But when his therapist recommended Bucky to talk with you, things began to evolve.

You were an amazing woman. He loves the artistic persona of you and how kind you are. You were such a precious help for him while he tries to let all things about Winter Soldier in his past. And, of course, it didn't take too long for Bucky to feel attracted to you. After all, your confidence and accent were pretty seductive for him. You achieved the deed to got him to blush once when you were flirting with him.

But things have been changing lately.

Bucky has been so busy with Sam and the missions that your dates were constantly interrupted by an emergency. It completes gets you annoyed, but you were trying to be understanding. Then, one day, both of you just thought that yeah, maybe it would be better if you guys just spend time together. It could be at his apartment or yours.

But he needs to try a date night one more time, with no interruptions. Just you and him.

Bucky took you to a surprise date. He covers your eyes, and you could take it off just when both of you arrive at your destiny. The sky was full of stars, and the waterfall gives the romantic mood you need. Near the banks of the waterfall, there was a van. Its interior was all padded with pillows and blankets and entirely decorated with lights.

You gaped slightly with all of that, and your heart almost melted inside your chest. Then, Bucky holds your hand and looks at you.

"I thought that I should do something special to you. Our dates always get ruined by something, but this time it will be different."

"This is so beautiful..." You said, with the air in your lungs fading away. Your heart was racing, and you look at him with a smile on your face. "I can't believe this!"

Bucky looks at you smiling, and he walks to his car again, putting a song on it. Then, he approaches you and reaches out to you.

"Would you give me the honor of a dance with me?"

You felt your face burning.

"Of course."

He took your hand and pulls you close to his body, and then you and he was dancing slowly under the stars glancing at each other. All of that was being so perfect! His hands were resting on your waistline, your hands onto his chest... Bucky can't stop looking at each detail of you. Your curly hair, your eyes... He loves the shape of your lips. That certainly is the part of your body that drives him crazy! The way you moves them... Bucky could spend the entire day just looking at your moving lips.

He could spend his entire day looking at your ass too. However, Bucky doesn't think he could talk it with you. Not right now. He even hasn't touched you the way he wants yet! But maybe he could get it today.

"You're stunning today." He said to you, resting his hand on your face and sliding his thumb on your skin in a gentle caress. "Mainly with your blushed cheeks."

You let out a low chuckle, feeling your cheeks got even redder.

"Am I blushed?"

"Yeah, totally. But don't worry, it's cute."

You look at him, letting out a low chuckle again. Bucky always arouses feelings inside your chest, but this night he was doing it on a completely new level.

You rest your head on his chest, and he put his chin on your head. Now, he was sliding his fingers through your curly hair. You were still dancing slowly, in such an intimate moment. You two had never done it before.

Then, Bucky's voice made presence again.

"Doll... Uh, I mean, Anne..." Bucky clears his throat, anxious. You rest your chin on his chest, looking up to him.

"You can call me Doll if you want, Bucky." You said, almost melting for his words. "I don't mind."

He smiles at you, resting his hand on your face and looking at you with such caress in the eyes.

"Okay, Doll. I wanna know if you are hanging out with someone else."

"I'm not. What about you?"

"I'm not either. I mean, I don't need it, and I don't want to. I have you. You're all I want and need."

Oh my Godness. It was pretty hard for you to stand on foot right now. Your legs were shaking in anxiety. He never told things like that for you before.

"You know, I don't need someone else. I just need you."

Bucky gives you a smile and curves himself to kiss you softly and slowly. That was not the first kiss of yours, but without a sign of doubt was a different one. It was like the first time you tasted his lips. So magical. So right. It felt like home to you.

Then, he breaks the kiss. Bucky stays so close to you that you could feel his breath on your face.

"So be mine, Anne." He said with a low and soft voice. Your heart failed a beat. "Let me be yours and be mine. I want you."

You felt anxious, and the words suddenly wipe away from your mind.

"Are you requesting me to be your girlfriend?" You finally said, and a chuckle let out the soldier's lips.

"Yeah, I am."

"Okay. I want it. I'm yours."

With his heart warm in pure love, Bucky kisses you again, slowly and so caring. When he breaks the kiss, this time, he took your hand and guides you to the van.

"Come here." He said, entering the van and sitting in the blankets. Between the pillows, he took out a small black box. You lay down on the blankets, looking at him when he gives you the box "It's just a gift. You know, to forget every time I needed to leave you alone."

You opened the box and saw a golden and delicate necklace. You let out a sigh, enchanted.

"You didn't have to do it, Bucky. Oh, thank you. It's so beautiful!"

You sat on the blankets, taking the necklace off of the box. Bucky took the jewel and put it on you.

"I'll not let you alone anymore, okay? I promise you."

Bucky gets close to you, and you get stuck into his blue eyes. Then, he rests his hand on your bare leg and kisses you, with his hand sliding up and down on you. He absolutely loves the softness of your skin, so he can't wait to see you giving your body to his wills. The taste of your lips, the smell of yours... It all acts like fuel to him. He just wants to kiss you even more.

Bucky deep the kisses on your lips and his touch on your bare leg puts your body on fire. You are pretty sure he could be considered a drug. You are addicted to him, and you needed more of his lips, his touches.

He lays you down in the blankets of the van without stopping to kissing you. His hand slides up on your leg, going under your dress and reaching your panties. Actually, you and Bucky never did anything related to sex. He was from other times, and he still got some old manners. So, he wanted to touch you just when he get sure you want him the way he wanted you.

Now he gets your answer Bucky can't wait to find out how you react to his touches.

Bucky slides his lips from yours to your neck, kissing you and putting some nibbles on your skin. A wave of pure fire runs through your body, and when he slides his fingers on your pussy over your panties, you let out a long sigh of pleasure. Wanting more of him, you slide down your nails on his abs under his shirt. You reach his pants button, and you open it. When your hand slides to his cock's direction, you felt a smile on his lips.

"Such an impatient girl... I'll take care of your manners later."

You bite your inner lip and looks at him. When your eyes met his blue ones, your body shakes. There was something different on them. They were darker, possessive. Bucky pulls the top of your dress down, exposing your naked breast. Then, he fits himself between your legs on his knees, taking your panties off and spreading your legs. His hands run through the inner part of your legs, and he looks at you. The white color of your face was already redder in lust. The vision of you giving yourself on him droves him crazy.

Bucky curves himself over you, taking one of your nipples with his mouth. Your fingers intertwine in his hair in an incentive to continue, while his fingers trace circles on the most sensitive part of your body. His touches make your veins burn, and you already feel wetter.

But when you let escape a low moan... Damn, it just made his desire for you grow even more. He wants you mad in lust, begging him to continue. He wants to hear you scream his name under the night.

Bucky let out your nipple, and you look at him, dizzy in pleasure. He goes down on your body and kisses the bare skin of the inner part of your leg. His voice was low and darker.

"I'll just put one rule tonight, babe." He said, without stopping to kiss you. His deep eyes were focused on yours while you look at him, putting your body up by your forearms to look at him better. You were a prisoner under his blue eyes. "I want you looking at me all the time." His kisses slide upon you until his mouth reaches your wet pussy, eating you with such a will.

But then, he started to talk again while eats you.

"I want to see how you are when you come."

Yeah, it will be a long and noisy night.

[bones-sprouts]

Okay so we're just having fun with this. It's more like exaggerated personas so we were just creating funny scenarios.

- We joked about how there's no hybrids in MCSM to our recollection so I just said stuff like "Fundy wears a fricking fox hoodie" and "Ranboo wears an enderman hoodie". Somehow that led into more jokes where Ranboo dies or smth in the plot and his crown is knocked off leaving Baldboo. This then led into a joke like "Plot twist, Ranboo's crown is enchanted so that he has a glamour that makes him look human, knocking it off reveals his full enderman." We ran with that and now Jesse is kinda sus of him because aren't endermen supposed to be aggressive mobs? Of course there are plenty to vouch for Ranboo because he is just so beloved.

- Joked that Fundy would probably have gotten an enchanted flint and steel not because he found it, but because he stole it from someone. Maybe Phil.

- Questioning everyone and finding their opinions of each other and yeah, Ranboo is just that beloved. Petra suggests to Jesse that it may be a front. He is actually just that beloved.

- Joked that Technoblade would wear a pig hoodie but realized that'd be so lame, and demanded he at least have his royal garments. That led to me saying that they'd probably make him anime boy Techno. That led to a joke of Techno's crown being knocked off at some point as well, only for him to just appear as a regular brown haired dude. "Oh no, my wig" indeed. He's just like "...SUBSCRIBE TO TECHNOBLADE" then gets hit with a trap.

- Jesse being either the person in the group with the most common sense or being locked out of the loop at all times. It fluctuates often. Also them being very confused with the little blurbs about each person when interviewing "Philza Minecraft is so brave-"

- Quackity most likely being very reliable within the group for keeping track of alibis and clues. WHICH IS WHY HE MAY GET AXED BY CASSIE-

- Joked that Tommy wouldn't be able to restrain from swearing. Cue hilarious bleeps of his curses.

- Joked about Technoblade seemingly dying and having a stack of potatoes in his inventory for nooo reason. He's seen alive and well though after the whole ordeal, because you know. TECHNOBLADE NEVER DIES. Plot twist x2: He's seen with his regular Minecraft pig skin after his "death".

- Sapnap suggests burning down the mansion and leaving so they can escape. Also him potentially being a minor suspect because flint and steel.

- This was more of a funky idea we came up with but if Ranboo's has glamour crown what if each person had a funky enchanted item with some kind of buff? Like Eret has her sunglasses, Tommy has his discs, Technoblade has his sword, etc.

- Jesse being curious about Eret's sunglasses and Eret eventually revealing the white eyes after some investigation and interrogation. Cue mini freak out like "AAAAAA HEROBRINE??" and just "No no, not Herobrine, just related. Common misconception really." and then just "JSKJSDA COMMON MISCONCEPTION?"

- Tubbo being pretty good with connecting dots in trying to find the murderer and figuring out the contraptions, though he can be a bit excited about it.

- Phil potentially being a target because hardcore world adventure and stuff and old. Maybe he has the flint and steel? (and he did, just stolen by Fundy). He's lived too long to die just yet though, so he evades the traps.

- The Captain still being in this just for him die and Tubbo screaming "NOOOO THE CAPTAIN"

- Dream or any of the Hunters probably helping Jesse chase down the White Pumpkin at some point because speedrun dududududu

- Technochat joke: "Chat's telling me it's one of us, but they're also spamming E as usual. Real helpful chat." Jesse's just like "What on earth is he talking about?" They're also spamming "Sus" and "Sussy imposter".

- Jack Manifold being the most self aware out of the whole crew with where the plot is going. Like "Obviously I'm not gonna press these buttons under the table, that could be a trap- oh God dammit WHO PRESSED THE FUCKING BUTTON?" Tommy, Tubbo or Fundy: looking away nervously Of course Jack Manifold has awful luck so he never gets to voice these opinions. The button pressed has his chair fall but he manages to climb back up because you can't stop that Manifold grind.

- Jesse questions Fundy about having the flint and steel and he's just backing up and is like "Yeah, I do have it but I promise I wasn't the murderer, I just took Phil's. You know, for a closer inspection!" insert nervous laugh here

- Tubbo is definitely ending up in some kind of bs choice whether or not to save him or save someone else. Maybe Wilbur?

There were a couple more ideas but have these for now.

WAIT,,, WAIT THAT HITS SO HARD ACTUALLY

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Eighty-Seven

Words: 4.5k

Warning(s): explicit language, sexual situations, drug abuse, violence

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NIKKI

"Nikki, what the hell are you doing?" Vivian asks me as we walk down the stairs of the law firm. 

"I've broken every fuckin' vow except 'till death do us part' and I'll be fucked to hell if we stuck it out and stayed with each other after the worst bullshit just to fucking divorce." I state and she stays quiet for a moment before I'm stumbling back when she halts and snatches away from me, glaring up at me. 

"What if I want a divorce?" She asks. 

"I'd tell you you're full of shit." I snap and she raises a brow and crosses her arms. 

"Then what the hell was the point of hounding me for a divorce just to do this?!" She barks at me. 

"To prove a point I guess, I don't fucking know." I admit. 

"To prove a point?! What point were you trying to prove?! That even when we're not together you still have the control in the relationship?!" She yells.

"I don't have any fucking control in this relationship, are you fucking me?! I haven't had any control since day fucking one, Vivian!" 

"Are you fucking serious?!" She screams at me, frustration all over her face. "You have always had control, Nikki, trust me, I know, I'm the one that had to lay down and take your bullshit and give up what I wanted to do just so you'd feel in control!"

"I told you to go to fucking New York to go to school, did I not? What the hell did you do? You stayed! You can't get pissed at me for not giving you what you supposedly think I promised you!" 

"No, Nikki, I'm not pissed at you for not giving me what you promised--I'm pissed because you've given me years of fucked up shit that was never supposed to even be a part of the plan!" She has tears in her eyes, her voice shaking…

She's right. I'm not going to tell her she's wrong…

I sigh and rub the back of my neck, exhaling, as she wipes her eyes. 

"...Look, me and the guys are going to a different rehab, and I'll actually stick with it, and I want to work this out." I tell her, honestly. "I just don't know how to come back from the shit we've done to each other, Viv, but if we can figure out how, then I wanna do it." 

She doesn't say anything, looking at me with her pretty green eyes, nodding slightly. 

I didn't realize that once we agreed to work on our marriage, that all hell would break loose in the midst of repairing the damage. 

Me and the guys, except Mick, were sent to another rehab because the first one was too obnoxious, and by the second one, we were actually getting somewhere with each other as a band and individually, including the people closest to us in our lives. For me, that was Vivian.

My leg can't stop shaking as I repeatedly tap my foot, waiting for my counselor to get in and meet Vivian for the first time.

I exhale and glance at her, her red hair curled, reaching just over her boobs, long legs taken up by black stockings that have lace trim mid-thigh, just peeking out from under her black dress, black heels tapping quietly on the floor, her dark red nails standing out against the cover of the shitty crossword she's flipping through. Her perfume has the whole little area she's in smelling good and her red lips rub together for a moment as she doesn't even notice me staring at her. 

It's a Saturday and I'm assuming she's going out with Sharise or something when she leaves here, or she dressed like this to torture me, knowing I haven't had sex in nearly two months, starting in Japan back in December, and my right hand is my best friend currently. 

My fucking balls hurt as she shifts her legs, uncrossing them to cross them the opposite, now. 

If it were up to me they'd be wide open and either around my hips or my head. 

I keep my hand pressed to my lips, resting my elbow on the arm of the chair, focused on her.

I slide down in my chair a little to try to see what kind of panties she's wearing--if she's wearing any at all. 

It wouldn't surprise me if she's not wearing any at all. Just to fuck with my head like she loves to do. 

"Take a picture and it'll last longer." She tells me flatly, not taking her eyes off the book. 

"I would if I had a camera." I don't even deny staring at her and she flicks her gaze to me. "Or a video camera. That'd be better." I add. 

"Ha. Ha." She sarcastically lets out and I smirk, watching her get up to grab her purse from the empty chair adjacent to me, leaning down to dig through it. 

It takes everything in my power not to get behind her, bend her over it, slide her panties to the side and start poun--

"We're here to start the process of fixing things between us and you're here only focused on sex." She states and I snap out of it. 

"No, I'm not." I argue, furrowing my brows. 

"Nikki, I know when you're picturing having sex with me." 

"I'm always picturing having sex with you." I state. "And you know exactly what you're doing." 

The faintest, smallest little grin comes to her lips as she goes to sit down again. 

"I don't know what you're talking about." She mumbles and I look at her. 

"You're cruel." I mumble and she rolls her eyes. 

"Oh, whatever." She replies. 

"You look hot." 

"Shut up." 

"We can be done in ten seconds." I say next and she goes red. 

"Stop, Nikki!" She scolds me.

"C'mon, Viv, we've never fucked on a desk before." I point out. 

"We've broken into Doc's office just to mess around on his desk, Nikki." She reminds me. 

"Well, we've never fucked on a therapist's desk, so c'mon, it'll be quick."

"I--" she starts laughing, not believing me, "--am not having sex in a rehab facility. I'm not that horny." 

"So you admit you are horny to some degree, though." I say and she rolls her eyes. 

"Shut up."

"Just flash me or something." 

"Nikki."

"Please?"

"You're so weird." She ignores my request while I'm pinching the bridge of my nose. 

"I'm in pain, Vivian." I say next, groaning, exaggerating. 

"Sounds like a personal problem." 

"Fuck." I lean my head back, rubbing my face. 

The door opens and my counselor comes in, smiling at us. 

"Sorry, I'm late." She says, stepping to Vivian, extending her hand. "I have heard lots about you, I'm Amber." 

"Vivian. It's nice to meet you." Vivian replies, smiling her shiny smile that should win her an Oscar because she wears it so well even when she's fucking miserable--I obviously know from experience. 

Amber sits behind her desk as Vivian sits back down in the chair, and she looks up from her paperwork at us, raising her brows. 

"If we're going to start this grueling process, I highly suggest you two get comfortable being within three feet of each other, again." She adds.

Me and Vivian exchange looks, before she sighs and stands up, walking to the little couch I'm sitting on, plopping down beside me. 

I smirk to myself, looking at her from the side of my eye. 

"Okay, let's just get to it, Vivian, I've gotten a brief history of your husband, and I feel as though I can sort of, kind of, pin point a thing or two that has lead to the point that you two are at currently, but I'd really like to learn a little bit about you because all that's portrayed publicly to all of us is he's this nitty gritty, abrasive rock God, and you're the angel that tamed him to settle down." She explains and Vivian scoffs, raising her brows. "I know it sounds ridiculous but that's what's given in magazines and pictures taken of you two." 

"Yeah." Vivian nods. 

"And I don't think that's true, I don't think everything is happy and sunshine and, 'oh, we're opposites but that's what we love about each other,' and blah, blah, or else neither of you would be here admitting your marriage is in shambles...so, becoming familiar with Nikki--sober--the way that I have the past week gives me a sense of who he really is without the drugs and the cameras and the fans and the girls, because in here he's only got himself. He doesn't have to upkeep the persona he puts on to make it seem like everything's perfect. And, although you aren't a patient here, I really want you to allow yourself to just be and differentiate between who you are to the public, and who you are privately, because--from what I've heard--they're two completely different people." She says next and Vivian nods. "So, who is Vivian Kinston and how did she get together with Nikki Sixx?" She offers a warm smile and Vivian exhales, already looking overwhelmed…"In three descriptions, who were you when you met Nikki?" 

"A very religious, ballet dancing, perfectionist." Vivian says and Amber nods. 

"Let's dissect that and break it down for a moment." She says next. "Okay, religious--was that on your own or passed through your family or…?"

"Both of my parents, but mainly my mom." She replies and Amber nods. 

"Okay, and what is mom like?" 

"Very strict Christian, we couldn't have anything secular in the house...I'm not sure what she's like now but when I last saw her she had the pastor I grew up with trying to exorcise a demon from me because she found out I was engaged to Nikki." She tells her and Amber's brows shoot up. 

"When was that?" 

"'82, '83, around that time." Vivian explains. 

"So you haven't seen mom in close to six years." 

"Yeah." 

"Okay...you were a ballet dancer when you met," she starts the next point. 

"Yes."

"For how long?"

"Since I can remember." Vivian informs her. 

"So, a strict Christian upbringing, and a very, very, intricate form of dance that requires a lot of discipline, since you were probably a toddler." 

"Yeah." 

"And is that where the perfectionism comes in, through your background with dance?"

"No." 

"No, okay."

"My mom and my upbringing." Vivian explains. "Anytime I did something my mom didn't like or approve of or thought other people would lose their minds over if they knew I was doing it, she'd get onto me and would constantly drill into my head, 'this is not what we do, Vivian'." 

"Wow." Amber nods, her brows slightly furrowed. "So, it doesn't come from a place of that physical drive to be perfect at most things you do, it comes from a mental and emotional drive of not wanting people to know what skeletons are in the closet that would make them think less of you." 

Vivian nods, taking a deep breath. 

"Okay, and do you think that sense of perfectionism from your mother has helped you or harmed you in the long run?" 

"Harmed." She's saying it nearly before Amber can get her words out of her mouth. 

"And why is that?" 

"Because I grew up with her holding me to a nearly unreachable standard, and hounding unrealistic expectations onto me." 

"And in turn…"

"...It's made me do the same to him." Vivian says and I stare at the floor. 

"What unrealistic expectations, or unreachable standard have you held him to?" 

"Not doing the things that he's done." She says next. 

"What things?" 

"Infidelity and drug and alcohol addiction." 

"Why is expecting your husband not to cheat on you or put drugs and alcohol before you an unrealistic expectation that is unattainable for him?" Amber asks next and I rub my lips together. 

"Because of who he is and what he does." Vivian says next and Amber raises her brows. 

"So you think because he's Nikki Sixx--big time rockstar--that it's not realistic to expect him to do what he is supposed to do as your husband which is stay faithful and not put substances before you?" 

"Yes." 

"Oh, I see." Amber looks at me and I sigh. "Was your relationship ever open or polygamous, during or prior to marriage?" 

"No." She shakes her head. 

"Was he addicted to anything when you got married?"

"He did drugs and drank but at that point in time he didn't have a heavy reliance on it, no."

"An unrealistic expectation would be you telling him he can sleep with other women but then you getting angry every time he did. That's setting an unrealistic expectation of, 'I'm giving you permission to indulge in sex with other women but I expect you not to,' or him being addicted to heroin when you got married and you expecting him to drop any addiction he has solely based on the fact that you two got married. That's an unrealistic expectation. Him being a famous rock musician has nothing to do with his ability, or lack thereof, to be monogamous and sober." She explains to Vivian. "So you wanting your husband to not have an affair and not get strung out was not an unrealistic expectation that you had in a moment of naivety." She assures her.

"Okay." Vivian sounds like she's been waiting to hear that for a while…

"And I believe the issues you two are facing the most from both Nikki, and yourself, have grown from the root of how you two think. I know we hear the saying, 'opposites attract,' but we don't think about how sometimes when people are too opposite it acts like hot and cold air when it mixes and if it's in a big enough whirl, or big enough of a spectrum, it creates a tornado or a hurricane." She says next. "Religion equals a sense of morality, your history with ballet equipped you with a fair amount of discipline, and that perfectionism that you spoke on is your way of caring so much about what others think of you, you sacrifice yourself and just smile to keep things looking amazing on the outside."

Vivian nods. 

"I asked him to describe you in three words, and he said, 'beautiful, depressed, belligerent'." She tells her and I slowly see tears coming to Vivian's eyes. "Nikki admitted to me that when he met you, he had no sense of morality, he was doing whatever he wanted, when he wanted, he had no discipline in terms of controlling himself around drugs and women, and he couldn't give less of a care about what people thought of him." She explains. "And that might even been fun and exciting when you were just starting out but once you're married and he's gotten all these eyes on him suddenly, there are expectations put on the both of you to be this couple who has everything, and you're both attractive, and he's the bad boy and you're the good girl and you just fell in love is the only explanation you have for making the relationship work to the point of wanting to get married and you have a great house and matching cars and all this and all that and you're in the press smiling and laughing and holding hands and hugging up on each other and oh, it's a wonderful life, but as soon as you get alone…" she trails off, looking at the both of us knowingly. "He's high, you're suffering, and both of you are living a hell. But nobody can know that because you're Nikki and Vivian Sixx. You two are perfect because he doesn't cheat on you like other rockstars do to their wives and girlfriends. He doesn't put drugs and alcohol before you like so many others do to their girlfriends and their wives. He doesn't turn into this monster you don't recognize and lash out like a dog at you after a night of sitting in his closet and shooting up, because he 'loves' you, and you don't have to keep quiet for years while it just keeps adding up and adding up until finally you beat on your husband and those around you over minuet instances because the big things you were probably justified to get that angry over were swept under the rug and were never dealt with for years--because that's not what you do." She ties it right back to Vivian's mother. 

A tear rolls down Vivian's cheek, neither of us expecting it to be this heavy just during her introduction to Viv. 

"If we don't stop that mentality, it's going to poison every relationship around you that it hasn't already and when you have children it's going to be a curse on them just like it's a curse on you." She tells her, as Viv sniffles, trying to keep up with wiping her tears away. "I've already been on him about his upbringing burdening him, so please don't think this is a personal attack on you."

Viv nods, mouthing, "okay."

"You two want to make this relationship better and be better for one another, we are going to have to tear down six years worth of walls and blockades and gut this entire thing completely and start again. It's not going to be easy, you're probably going to learn things about each other you've been hiding and maybe even amicably decide to divorce before it's all over with, but you are both going to heal and start the process of forgiveness. With yourselves, with your parents, with your friends, and with each other."

She gives the both of us some homework...

"I want you two to prepare to tell each other everything you've not told one another for next time we meet." Amber tells us and the color drains from Viv's face, I know for a fucking fact that I don't look much different from her.

"What?" Vivian asks her.

"If we're healing this relationship we need everything in the dark in the light so we aren't building on an old foundation of secrets." She states. Vivian just nods hesitantly before we're dismissed.

"Vivian." I stop her out in the hall before she can leave, grabbing gently at her wrist.

"Yeah?" She asks me. 

"I love you." I tell her and she looks at me, smiling a little. 

"I'll see you Wednesday." She replies, squeezing my hand before she walks away. 

What the hell? I tell her and I love her and she just fucking says, "I'll see you Wednesday'?" 

I watch as she goes down the hall, heels clicking, hair down her back…

Goddamn. 

This is definitely my payback for taking my time with her for granted, because now that I'm in my right mind and not ruining our marriage, she barely even looks at me. 

At least she was actually wanting to work things out, because after the Vanity bullshit, I thought we'd never make it out after the first time I saw her since it had happened.

July 1987

I brace myself against the bathroom wall as my whole body goes numb for a moment, my eyes rolling momentarily. 

"Sixx, c'mon, we gotta get goin', Viv's here!" Fred yells from behind the door, his fist beating at it. 

Fuck him. Fuck this tour. Fuck this band. Fuck everything right now. 

Viv's just got here from the airport, she flew back in earlier this morning and I've been hiding, completely avoiding her, but I can't anymore. 

The media's in a frenzy since Vanity aired all of our dirty laundry, only making Viv and I both on edge even more. 

We've been denying the shit out of Vanity's engagement claims, but I don't think people are buying it as much as we'd like to think they are. 

I take in a breath and stumble to the mirror, looking at myself. 

Not too bad for a low down, dirty, bastard. 

Opening the bathroom door to see where Fred's waiting for me, I glance past his shoulder to see Vivian.

She looks like she feels like hell, but has managed to pull herself together. 

Makes two of us--well, kind of, at least. 

"C'mon, the guys are already at the venue." 

Fred tells me. 

"Great." I smirk, patting his shoulder, stepping to Vivian. 

I don't think either of us are taking into consideration the amount of utter bullshitting we're about to have to do. 

I also don't expect the amount of paparazzi waiting for us right outside the hotel's doors.

As soon as the door opens, screaming, flashes, invasive questions come hurtling our way. It feels closterphobic enough to make Vivian grab my hand, tight, curling closer into me as if trying to hide away from prying cameras and questions about my alleged affair.

I feel her being tugged at once, and just as she says, "Nikki," I'm snatching my hand from hers to beat repeatedly, as hard as I can, at the forearm of the perpetrator, a media creep trying to get her attention. 

"Don't fucking touch her!" I bark out over the noise and he stumbles back, holding at his arm as I put my arm around her waist, tightly, getting to the car. 

When we get inside, Vivian's obviously distraught over what just happened, shoving herself away from me. 

I turn my anger to Fred. 

"What the fuck is the point of  having fucking security if you're not going to keep people from touching her?" I sneer. 

"Because I'm a bodyguard, but you're a fucking Rottweiler." He states back without hesitation and I just roll my jaw, glancing at Vivian and she doesn't even look at me. 

I sigh and dig in my pocket for the little baggie I got earlier, grabbing my hotel room key to take a bump to help me wake up for this show, and when we get to the venue, I'm getting out of the car and waiting for Fred to get out. 

He does, and I stop Vivian, nudging her back inside before saying, "we'll be there in a second."

Fred just looks at me and exhales, rolling his eyes before stepping inside. 

Vivian sighs out as I look at her, avoiding looking at me…

"Vivian, are we gonna talk about it or…?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I think we should."

"You proposed to her, Nikki."

"Allegedly." I add.

"You. Proposed. To. Her." She says it sharply and I lean back. "You had an affair with her. I trusted you. I trusted the both of you. And you lied to me." She hisses. "So, no, there is nothing to talk about...just let me out of the damn car." She slides over and opens the door but I reach over her and slam it shut.

She takes heavy breaths from where she's sitting, my body hovering over hers, the tips of our noses brushing together…

I lean down, my lips pressing to her's for just a second before she lets go of the fact I completely screwed her over. 

I'm about to pull away when she pushes her tongue past my lips, her nails running over my back through my shirt as her legs wrap around my hips, one of her hands in my knotted hair.

As always, I end up eating her like a starved pervert, relishing in the sounds of her moans and gasps. 

The truth is, she may hate me, but I'm good at getting her off and she knows it.

Once she comes and we start getting ourselves together to go inside, I look over at her. 

"So, are we good?" I ask her, oh, so fucking stupidly, and she blinks at me. 

"What?" 

"Are we good?" 

She catches on to what I mean, and rubs her lips together. 

"Nikki, you could fuck me into oblivion, which you can't because I'm never letting you fucking touch me again, and we still wouldn't be good. Not even close to 'good'. You can't have an affair with my friend and then expect everything to be good just because we fooled around while you were stoned out of your mind." She snaps and I roll my jaw as she gets out and slams the door, stomping to the back entrance of the venue. 

For the first time I feel the sting of rejection. 

Is this how groupies feel? 

I never thought once about getting head, leaving them in the limo and going on about my business. 

Anger boils in me, Sikki chomping at the bit. 

That selfish bitch! 

I get out and go after her. 

I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna say to her, but I'm mad. 

"How dare you use me to get your rocks off and then toss me aside?", no, because I've done that to her a couple times...but that's because she's into it. 

I swear she comes harder when I randomly come up behind her and just start going at it because she knows I'm just using her to get off and then leave her wherever I stopped her, and go out right after and wouldn't think twice about it. 

But me? I'm so used to her looking at me like I'm God while I have my full attention on making her feel good, and she has the audacity to get off on my face and then kick me to the curb and tell me I'm never touching her again?! 

I decided it wasn't worth the fist fight it would inevitably turn into by the time I got inside, but and looking back, she had every reason to get me horny and then swear off ever letting me get near her again. It was petty, but smart. And despite having sex one last time not long after that instance, the point was still made clear. For the first time in our relationship, the acceptance of sexual advances didn't take the place of forgiveness.

[arrtemisia]

Hey so... If you could redo cannon Makoto what would you do? How would she change? I'm curious cause out of the main cast she was the only one that I just couldn't get a solid interest in (aside from Ann but that's just cause the idea of her being a fashion model confuses me more than anything I think)

God. So much stuff.

There's a couple big things about her that bug me, and none of them really change at all in her canon vs fanon portrayal, which means it's hard for me to enjoy her even in fanworks. In my opinion, I think her biggest flaw is that she's simply miscast, and her character would have worked much better as a confidant instead of a thief, which would've given her a place of her own to shine and avoid the weird dissonance between different aspects of her character (and this was actually their original plan, so Hifumi would have taken her place which. She would've fit in much better imo bc she's actually suffered under another's will like every single one of the others and she's an actual strategist instead of just """smart,""' but that's a topic for another post), but since we're talking about how I'd personally fix Makoto in the role she currently fills, I'm going to list some of the issues I take with her and potential solutions.

First of all, just to get it out of the way, she needs an actual reason to be here. She doesn't have one, full stop.

The big thing tying the thieves together is that they're all victims of abuse and oppression who rebel against their tormentors and want to prevent anyone else from suffering like they did. I'm not saying Makoto has never struggled, because she has, but it's really, really not the same type of struggle.

This leads to weird moments where everything about Makoto's personality and characterization, such as being a stickler for the rules, idolizing the police, etc mean that she has no in-character reason to stick with the thieves after kaneshiro is dealt with and should maybe even be opposing the thieves' way of doing things, but the plot drags her along anyway because the game really wants her to be a party member. And really, what's up with her awakening? She gets threatened once and then bang-boom-kapow she has a persona? It's weak.

Also before anyone says "well all those things about her personality change when she awakens and she sheds her good girl personality and yada yada," no she doesn't, actually, and I'm getting there I promise

The easiest solution here is also the most drastic. Swap when Makoto and Akechi join. This kills two birds with one stone; Makoto gets an actual reason to awaken through Sae, and Akechi's betrayal hits harder because he's pretending to be with you for longer (although admittedly this is much less needed on Akechi's part ever since royal).

Not only does this give Makoto a much stronger reason to awaken and join in the first place (Sae starts twisting into something horrible and Makoto wants to help both stop and save her), but it also gives her an internally consistent reason to stick around. Before, unlike the others (who all at least have "I want to stop others from feeling like I did," or in Futaba's case, "I wanna find the ppl who killed my mom."), once Kaneshiro is done with, Makoto has no real big personal reason to stick around other than "I'm a thief now and the plot says so ig." Now, of COURSE she'd want to go after Shido because he's the one that was manipulating her sister, and after that of COURSE she'd want to help take down mr divine sippy cup in order to get Shido tried and jailed.

However, if we're not going to shuffle around the order of party members bc that'd nuke the canon plot a little, then we need to rework the entire Kaneshiro arc and/or Makoto's backstory and values as a whole. Yeah this is why the first solution was the easy one.

I'm going to go in-depth about how I feel Makoto's personality and values should be reworked later I'M GETTING THERE, so I'll talk about that then. As for reworking Kaneshiro, I... don't have a whole lot of ideas. The palace itself is fine, it has one of the coolest atmospheres in the game (c'mon, there's got to be a fun bank heist in a game like this), but Makoto's connection with him is very weak. Maybe have it be that he was extorting her for years in secret and she never said anything? Maybe have him be the one that ordered the hit on her father? I'm not sure what would be strong enough to match to the other palace leaders, without feeling forced. I'll have to come up with more ideas for this one.

The second big issue I have with her is less of one specific thing and more of a collection of smaller problems that all come from the same source. She waltzes in, takes over, and starts acting like she's the boss of things. She then names herself the "strategist" and yet only ever states the obvious and, to use a word I hate, mansplains things to you that you already learned two palaces ago. She's constantly condescending and passive agressive to the other team members, especially Ann and Ryuji, berates everyone for not being as naturally book smart as her when all the other characters are smart in their own ways and just not good at academia, all the while everyone around her, even characters that normally wouldn't take that (ryuji, ann) or are too prideful to admit to anyone bring better (mona), are constantly like "You're so cool, Makoto!"

It's a classic case of show don't tell, and rhe game is obsessed with telling you that Makoto is "smart" and "cool." Once she joins the team, all the characters that were originally shown to be smart in their own ways are never allowed to say anything meaningful ever again bc Makoto is the "smart" one. She never does anything particularly different compared to the other party members, but the game is constantly insisting she's special.

I'm very hesitant to call her a mary sue, because I don't think she is one, and also I disagree with the use of that term at all as these days it's just meant to devalue powerful characters that happen to be girls, but I definitely think she's emblematic of a common writing flaw that can lead to mary sues. The problem with making a character the "smart" one as a personality trait instead of something that just comes naturally is that you have to dumb down everyone else's characterization to make them look smarter or cooler by comparison. It means that the character you're trying to prop up bends everyone else around them, making them act in ways they normally wouldn't in order to make the one character you're trying to look cool seem better by comparison.

This has an easy solution: cut that shit out. Have her slowly find her place on the team naturally instead of forcing her way in as a pseudo-leader. Don't give every single "well, duh" line to her, and cut the scenes where she stands around explaining obvious things you already know in a condescending manner so she looks smarter. Let the other characters actually act like themselves when they're in the same room as her instead of bending around her to prop her up. Have her treat those characters with respect in turn, bc for all intents and purposes when it comes to thief stuff they are her senpai, instead of just having her act like she's better than them, or boss them around, or be passive agressive about the fact that their grades are bad. Show that other characters are smart in other ways instead of acting like Makoto's book smarts are the end-all be-all. And for fuck's sake, stop acting like "smart" and "punches stuff real good" are personality traits, which leads me into my last big point.

Makoto and Queen don't really feel like the same character. Okay, so to explain this, let's walk through her awakening again.

Makoto is a good girl who's a stickler for the rules, sucks up to authority, idolizes the police, is obsessed with her grades and academic performance, and looks down on others who don't do the same. A couple people call her useless and then she gets threatened by a mob boss, after which she decides to live her life for herself and completely shed her good girl lifestyle and rebel against everyone pressuring her.

That is, except for the teensy tiny detail where she doesn't.

Nothing significant about her personality changes all post her awakening and joining the thieves, aside from the part where she sucks up to authority maybe a little less. She's still uptight, her grades (and the grades of those on her team) are still her top priority, she still idolizes the law and those enforcing it.

Y'see, persona has a bit of a common problem with saying one thing about a character, be it making a reveal or saying they're gonna change in some big way, but not fully committing to it. You can see it most in p4 (party members saying they're gonna quit/stop/do whatever and then backtracking in the last two ranks of their social link), but it's rarely so severe that it completely ruins their personality and character arc as a whole. Makoto, I feel, is the main exception.

The writers want Makoto to become this tough, rebellious biker queen who oozes badassery in every move and will never follow anyone's wishes for her ever again, but they also want to keep her old personality of the uptight naive rule-following law-abiding academic. So, instead of altering one to better fit the other, they try to do both... badly.

Instead of integrating the two parts of her personality, it just feels like she swaps between them whenever the plot calls for it which is really, really jarring. She'll be stuttering about following the rules and getting to know her generation one second, and then the next she'll be yelling about mowing down shadows with her motorcyle the next. It feels like Queen and Makoto are two separate uninteresting half-characters, with only a couple personality traits each, instead of one whole well-rounded character.

Either rework Makoto's thief aesthetic to better suit her personality as a whole and give her something other than "I'm totally not a good girl anymore" to make her compelling, or actually commit to Makoto shedding her past life everyone around her had forced on her and change her personality. Have her grades start to slip, have her talk back to Sae, change the way she dresses so it's rougher and less perfect, hell, maybe even have her quit student council. Just, anything to make her more well-rounded as a character.

I have some other nitpicks with her here and there, like the fact that her confidant is actually just Eiko's confidant and doesn't give Makoto herself any development, or the way the game keeps trying to set her up as Joker's waifu or whatever, but those are just that; nitpicks. The three big things I mentioned earlier - her not having a compelling personal reason to be a part of the thieves, the way the writers shove her into the spotlight by putting down everyone around her, and the fact that her characterization is just one badass half and one smart half that don't mesh and have little else in between - are the problems I feel are what's actually holding her character back.

Again, I do think that all of this stems from the fact that she's miscast, but it's too late to fix that now. While I personally really dislike Makoto, I do kind of understand her appeal for others when she's written well, and she's a totally valid character to like. I just wish she was portrayed better.

(Also, if anyone wants to reblog this, feel free I ask that you please don't put this in Makoto's main character tag. I know how much it sucks to get a bunch of negativity in a character's main tags as I am an Edelgard fe3h fan)

[astheravensighs]

[Double Dark and Darker]

Gray meets Dazai for the first time, and things go as well as you would expect.

"Um," Gray almost whispered, tugging on Chuuya's sleeve gently. "Who is that..?"

Chuuya followed her gaze to the benches along the sides of the abandoned stadium, spotting a familiar pair of eyes watching them both like a mischievous hawk. Legs crossed and body bent forward in rapt fascination of the new addition to their equation.

"Ah. That's Dazai. He's…" Chuuya paused thoughtfully, if not slightly bitterly. "Well, let's use the word friend." He glanced back over at her and saw the same confusion as before she asked. "Just- he's not gonna hurt you. He's just watching. You can… trust him." He felt his throat sting, briefly thankful he was out of earshot. Gray kept her eyes on the distant figure. "He doesn't seem safe," she stated, retreating farther into the too-big coat he'd lent her. Chuuya choked down the embarrassment of showing his least favorite person his soft side and leaned down to her height.

"Hey," He said softly, waiting until her eyes met his own. "I've never once given you a reason not to trust me, right?" She hesitated, but slowly nodded. "Right. I promised I would keep you safe. I know for a fact he's not a threat," He stood back up to his full height and puffed out his chest a little bit. "But even if he was, I'd kill him before he ever got near you." "K-kill him?" "Or, uh- I'd knock him out, y'know," His posture deflated as he tried to backpedal his accidentally fearsome persona.

Watching curiously, elbow on his knee and chin resting on the back of his hand, Dazai couldn't help but grin a little bit. Chuuya was going soft. As funny as it was, he felt a certain responsibility to stop the odd change clearly taking place in his psyche. His rival should be his equal. Seeing him distracted, giving in to his overwhelming protective instinct, was irritating. Unfortunately, he found himself being affected too.

This little girl was barely shoulder height to his tiny ex-partner and probably jumped every time he coughed. Her eyes were colorless, no blue or green or brown at all. Just gray. He wondered briefly if Chuuya had given her the uncreative name based on  her eyes. The clothes she was wearing he recognized- they were Chuuya's. They fit him when he was maybe 17 (and honestly, probably still did) but they completely enveloped her, and he recognized the way she retreated into it as if it was a bulletproof shield.

He could read her like a picture book. Everything about her, from the way she held her arms to her chest as she walked to the way her eyes darted around to assess every threat, screamed out to him one word- pitiful. And as much as he was a monster, and as much as he hated to admit it, Dazai had some human left in him, and that humanity was screaming for him to protect her too.

"A-anyway, y'know why we're here, right? I'd like to teach you some self defense stuff." Gray gave Chuuya a look that was equal parts fear for her own safety, and fear for his. He gave her a reassuring smile and took a few steps back. "Just outta curiosity, to see what I'm working with," He spread his arms out, completely opening up his abdomen, unguarded. "Try just a punch or something. Right here," He gestured to his stomach.

Gray looked down at her hand, clenching and unclenching her fist for a few seconds, before meeting his eyes again, eyebrows pushed together with worry. "But what if I… hurt you?"

An absolute guffaw from the sidelines startled her, drawing both participants' gazes. Dazai was attempting to stifle the giggles spilling out of him, eliciting a sigh from his 'friend'.

"Ignore him."

Gray gave him one last look before turning her eyes back to her protector, trying to ignore the redness she felt burning her ears.

"Just a punch. I promise you won't hurt me. You really, really won't," He insisted.

A few moments of silence and stillness as Gray takes a breath, calming her nerves, rattled by this simple task. She clenches her fist again, and forces it forwards, shutting her eyes and hoping for the best.

As the backs of her fingers make contact with the threads of Chuuya's vest, they all but rolled off, only creating a soft 'thud', and throwing her off balance. "Oh, woah-" Chuuya sputtered, not sure what he was expecting, but knowing it wasn't… that. He steadied her before she fell, withdrawing his hands quickly, remembering how she'd flinched at his touch the day before. He could almost feel the heat emanating from her cheeks in shame.

"…Okay, let's try again."

She turned to face him again, head tilted, still uncomfortable voicing her questions, but knowing he knew what she was asking.

"No, you didn't hurt me. I swear," He reassured, adding only in his own thoughts, 'You almost hurt yourself'.

He gave her the most encouraging smile he could, approaching her slowly. "Let me show you how to do it," He offered, reaching out to guide her before stopping- "Can I touch your hands?" She nodded and braced her skittish instincts as his gloved fingers barely brushed her own. Ignoring the alarms in her head as they began to scream at her to run, she watched carefully as he gently pushed her fingers into a proper fist.

"Chuuya, I think she's more of a visual learner, you know?" a singsong voice from behind them earned a small yelp from the already wary girl, as Chuuya whipped around to face it.

"Oi, you're supposed to stay back-" "I know, I know," Dazai interrupted him with a dismissive wave of his hand. "But I know how to demonstrate much better." "Dazai!" Chuuya watched him as he circled around him, holding out a protective arm to shield the now very uncomfortable girl behind him. "I told you-" He began, but was interrupted as Dazai pulled his own fist back, meeting the scared, colorless eyes peeking out at him. "Watch this carefully!"

Dazai knew Chuuya's guard was focused entirely on protecting his little fosterling, and not on his own safety. So as his fist struck the smaller man's abdomen, there was a look of disbelief on his face that Dazai reveled in as he followed through, putting all of his force behind the motion of his arm, sending Chuuya's body directly into the wall behind him with a disturbing 'crack'.

A moment passes completely silent as Chuuya's back slid the few feet down the wall to impact the rough dirt. Taking a second the shake off the shock, he gaped at the blood now dripping from his forehead, off his chin, staining his clothes. Steeling his glare, he moved to get up, to retaliate, to- Shit, he needed to get /her/ away first- But as he looked back up, the fire in his eyes faded.

Dazai had already seen what he was only just now seeing, already turning to face it. A shadowy mass of tendrils and dark smoke was taking over the spot Gray had just been. A low growl, rising in tone and intensity, echoed through the stadium, but was directed right at Dazai, who just couldn't help his own shit-eating grin. He saw the attachment between them. He knew there was potential hidden beneath that timid exterior. He knew she wasn't created in a lab, researched and studied and hidden away for years, just to turn out useless. He KNEW there was something to her, and he knew how to find out what. And as she stared him down with smoke and shadow where her eyes used to be, he felt no fear. He had no reason to. His ability was a nullifying get-out-of-jail free card, so to speak. And the satisfaction he felt from a successful plan almost outweighed the rumbling in his chest as the growling got louder.

"You know," he turned to fully face her. "You're cute when you're mad."

The growl turned into a roar as the mass of shadows lurched backwards, rearing up like an angry stallion, before careening back towards him. He lazily outstretched his hand, letting his ability activate, but it was for nothing.

The enraged, shadowy creature that was once a girl charged into him, almost through him, and out of the dark  mist emerged a hand, black as night, balled into a fist so tight the claw-like nails dug into a bleeding palm. The limb was barely visible as it rocketed directly into Dazai's outstretched palm.

For just a moment, time seemed to slow down for the two men as they simultaneously understood what was happening, what was about to happen. Chuuya's face was pure, unfiltered shock and awe. Mouth open, eyes wide, mind reeling- but Dazai's face was something that he'd later come to treasure. He'd relive this moment in his mind a hundred times, seeing the image of Dazai's cocky smirk suddenly shifting to shock, the corners of his mouth dropping, his eyes refocusing- this isn't right… My ability..!- and then contorting to fear, his teeth gritting and eyebrows high. This beautiful scene only lasted a fraction of a second before the fist against his hand ignored the blue glow of his nullification ability and continued its destructive path directly into his chest, sounding a loud "CRACK" as his ribs buckled from the force, body suddenly being wrenched into the same trajectory as the leading arm, rocketing hard into the wall right next to the wide eyed man he'd dropped just seconds before.

A hush fell over all three of them as the dark smoke began to fade from the outstretched limb, revealing the shoulders, the neck, then the face of a very scared, very small girl. There were tears in her eyes and her every limb was shaking like a scared puppy. As soon as her mouth was visible she was talking, almost chanting, "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry-" The rest of her body came into view as the darkness evaporated into the air like a lifting fog and she collapsed to her knees, sobbing and apologizing to Dazai, to Chuuya, to herself.

Chuuya pushed down the shock- maybe even fear- trying to keep him frozen and wrenched himself off the ground, ignoring the equally astonished body leaning next to him. With some effort he lifted his own limbs to scramble over to the sobbing mess on the ground, unsure of what entirely to do.

"Hey, hey, hey-- Are you okay? Are you- Look at me, please?" She couldn't stop the shame that escaped from her throat and turned into wails but she did meet his eyes with hers. She could see the surprise in his face, but she could also see concern- for her. Before she could look down again he caught her chin with his fingers- gently- and tried to think of what to say.

"Hey… I'm proud of you."

The four words overtook her thoughts like a wildfire. How long had she waited to hear that? Longer than she'd been alive. Proud of her. He was proud… of her. She did something good. Even though her whole body ached, her mind was reeling, and her wrist felt broken, she couldn't help the confused, blissful smile that crept up to her face. Then her head fell forward again, and her body slumped, unconscious, into Chuuya's arms.

(thank u for reading <3)

[forkanna]

[AO3] [WATTPAD] [QUOTEV]

WARNING: NSFW. (If you hadn't noticed, haha)

CHAPTER FIVE

"STEP on you?!"

Yukiko nodded, rolling up to bow low, hands elegantly resting on the floor in front of her as her forehead touched just behind them. "It would give me great honour to be walked upon by you, my Prince."

This was insane. Chie knew it was somehow all tied up in the whole ownership fantasy — that their shadows had conspired to make her the owner and Yukiko the property. Something neither of them had ever consciously pursued, considered, anticipated… yet here they were, confronting it outside of the Midnight Channel. In the real world. And that felt even crazier than there being a Midnight Channel in the first place.

"Okay," she whispered, pushing to her knees and swallowing hard as she watched the elegant girl remain in her low bow. As if worshipping her. "Can I try it, a-and if you don't like it, at least we'll know? But you better promise to tell me if you don't like it!"

"Yes, my Prince," Yuki whispered. After a moment, she looked up at the clearly-flustered tomboy. "I-is… this too strange? I don't even understand why… I want you to…"

"Well, it's strange, but not too strange. I mean, if you're going to like it, then hey, I wanna make you happy! I just… am worried about, um, hurting you, I guess. Or making you feel bad."

Yukiko's flawless features easily flowed into a serene smile. "You won't hurt me. I know — I trust that."

"Oh. Well, that's…" Some would-be Dom she was, with her cheeks lighting up like fireworks.

"Do you not want to step on me?" she finally asked. "Y-you don't have to. It was just an idea."

"N-no, it's cool. We can…"

Chie finally stood up, towering over her half-dressed friend. Watching her peer up at her as she laid on her back, perfect little pink lips slightly parted. This was deranged. Just because their shadows had revealed the dark desires in their hearts didn't mean they should be giving in to them. Did it? Weren't they supposed to be becoming better versions of themselves?

"So… like… step on you where? Your head, face? Boob?"

Yukiko giggled softly as her bare shoulders shrugged. "'Boob'. I don't know, either. This is all new to me."

"You say that like I'm some pro."

"Well… you are the one who's seen those videos."

"None of them involved this!" Still, she raised her leg, trying to figure out where to land. In the end, she opted for somewhere fairly neutral: Yukiko's shoulder. "This… is it okay?"

"It's fine," she promised her, cheeks still rosy from all their activities. When Chie still looked uncomfortable, she tilted her head over to kiss her toes. "I mean it. You aren't even hurting me yet."

Her voice was a little hoarse when she managed, "Yet?"

"Well… I expected it to hurt. Even if you aren't whipping me or… or whatever your shadow was doing."

This was difficult for Chie. On the one hand, it was a little hot, but on the other hand the overwhelming majority of her personality didn't like that she was subjugating her best friend. Normally, she would listen to that more, but Yukiko was encouraging her to indulge that quieter, more sinister desire. Might as well test it out just once.

"Really?" Licking her lips in a vain attempt to dispel her nerves, she gradually lifted her foot to press it against Yukiko's lips. "So you… still want me to leave footprints all over your face?"

The little innkeeper flushed a darker shade, breath hitching. She held completely still for a moment before saying in a muffled tone, "Yes, my Prince."

Heat shot straight to her core — even as a slight thrill tingled its way up her leg, since the breath on her foot tickled very slightly. This was really happening, wasn't it? Against all odds, she was putting her best friend in her place. She leaned a little harder against that leg, just to give it the tiniest bit of impression of being stomped on — without running the risk of hurting her for real, of course.

"Then show me. Sh-show me how much you like it when I step on you."

Despite the nerves she was clearly displaying, Yukiko did as she was asked. Her lips pushed up into the toes, eyes closing as she paid homage to the new Master she had just found. Chie squirmed, toes flexing, and tried hard to keep her balance despite this precarious position. This was insane — she really didn't mind kissing her stinky foot?!

"Is that good, my Prince?"

"Y-yes," she hastily stammered, moving to stand above her. So far it was exciting, but she knew she would probably laugh if it kept up because of being ticklish, and might lose her balance. "Now I want you on your hands and knees."

Completely obedient, she flipped over and got into position. Chie could see just how soaking wet she was, since the dark spot on her panties was impossible to miss from that angle. Her own desires began to brew afresh, and she was tempted to drop down and kiss everything she saw… but she tried to push that temptation down. Save it for another time. Possibly only a few minutes into the future.

"Like this?"

Gulp. "Yes. Arch your back a little." Once she had, she reached down to grab a generous handful of that perky ass.

"A-ah!" Yukiko gasped out, back arching even more as her heat spiked. Amazing that they had both already got off but this neophyte domination play was bringing their desire back so effortlessly. Maybe their shadows were onto something.

"Such a bad little girl you are. You want your prince this much but never said anything? Shame on you!" The words still felt foreign on her tongue but she was doing her best. "We're gonna have to work on that."

Whimpering hard enough to be audible, she gasped out, "Y-yes, Prince! I'm sorry!"

"Oh yeah? You're sorry? Not good enough!" Her hand reared back…

And she hesitated. This was different; everything so far had either been loving or merely playful. Was she truly prepared to cause her best friend pain, no matter how brief?

"Chie?" Yukiko whispered.

"Huh?"

"Y-you don't have to keep going. I know this is… different, and we're both really new to any of it. So I'm not going to be upset if you-"

"No, no, I can do it," she whispered back. "Sorry." Then she cleared her throat and said louder, almost theatrically, "You ready for your punishment, you little… butt?!"

Seemingly unable to help it, her sub giggled at that would-be insult. "Oh no, don't do it, my Prince! Please, I'll be good!"

Chie really saw no other way to put an end to her own mortification and Yukiko's amusement but to deliver a swift smack to her inviting cheeks. She got the most delightful squeak for her efforts. How was it this much fun to punish her best friend? Maybe she really was sick. Maybe the darkness had a lot stronger of a hold on her heart than she wanted to admit.

Not that said best friend seemed to mind. At all. Even a little. Her hips squirmed from side to side, almost as if begging for another hit. So she got one. "AH! Chie!"

"Who?"

"O-oh I- AIYEE!" Another spanking had interrupted her apology. "I'm sorry, my Prince! I'm sorry! Mmhhh, please, be gentle!"

"I thought you didn't want me to be… gentle!"

That spanking made Yukiko moan a little louder. Now she was starting to worry about the noise level; what if someone heard? They would definitely be in trouble, even if they didn't disgust whichever of the staff came running to check on them. She decided she had better be a little bit more careful…

What on Earth was she saying?! This was a terrible thing to be doing to her best friend. Even if she could no longer pretend the desire to treat her this way wasn't there, and the reciprocal desire in Yukiko, it didn't make it right. Maybe using the noise levels as an excuse to stop was for the best.

"Prince?" Her hips squirmed a little as she looked over her shoulder at Chie. "Is… everything all right?"

"O-oh, I'm… yeah. Totally fine. I was just thinking… should… I call my parents? Let them know I'm okay? And you probably want to go take a bath in the hot springs, or…"

Her best friend turned to look at her properly, a frown etched in her fair features. "Hey. Did you think you were really hurting me just now?" She got no response other than flustered squirming, and her smile clearly communicated she thought she was right. "You weren't. I promise you I am just fine."

"But I was… this is really fucked up. Isn't it? I feel like I should be arrested for this kind of thing. You're so gorgeous and perfect, why would I ever wanna even risk hurting you for real?"

"Chie…" It only took a few seconds for her arms to be around the tomboy, nestling her gentle face into the crook of her neck. "We should definitely stop."

"No, c'mon. If you want to do-"

"No," she repeated a little more firmly. "Let's both go make use of the hot spring. Okay? And we can just relax and talk about these things, because… we have all the time in the world. There isn't any rush."

Feeling as stupid as she was grateful, she clung back to her best friend with a heavy sigh. "Okay. And I mean… y-yeah."

"We're both virgins — well, we were until today. Right? I think it's alright for us to have to learn our limits as we go. I'm flying just as blind as you are."

"Guess… that's true…" Finally, she began to relax and leaned into the embrace. "Yuki-chan, how are you so great? Like, seriously."

She was so close that Chie could feel the little chuckle up against her own chest. That made her heart skip over a beat. What a ridiculous crush this already was; they really were made for each other. "I'm not. Just trying my best to be your little bitch."

"WHAT?!"

"W-well," Yukiko amended as she dipped her head in alarm, "I… that's what your shadow called me. And since mine was wearing a collar…"

"Oh. But we don't have to do that! Like, that's crazy! You're not a dog, I don't want you to be a dog, either!"

Her tone was totally reasonable. "Don't you? I mean, somewhere in your heart?"

"I…" Cheeks warming, she slammed her eyes shut. "Yes. But it's more like… I guess I saw you that way because you seemed dependent on me. But that was just my fucked-up way of thinking about it, y'know? Not like, you actually are that way, or that it's what I want. Is… am I making any sense?"

"Well my shadow sure seemed to enjoy being on yours' leash," she said with a small, sly smile. Making Chie gulp again. "But we don't have to do that — right away, or ever."

Letting out a sigh of relief, she held onto Yukiko for support. "Good. No offense, but I'm not ready to…"

"Y-yeah," she confirmed with a giggle. "You're not, I can tell. There's nothing wrong with taking our time, like I said."

"Yeah!" Laughing louder and more boisterously, she scratched the back of her neck. "So um, let's hit the bath, and we can figure ourselves out more later, right?"

Nodding with a patient, excited smile as she retrieved her yukata, she said, "Absolutely, my Prince."

                                          ~ o ~

They enjoyed a late lunch before retiring to the baths. Yukiko took a staffer aside as they entered, speaking quietly to her while Chie glanced over curiously. But she decided to leave her to it; probably Amagi Inn business that was none of hers. So she finished undressing and quickly rinsed off, then left her towel by the edge of the spring as she began to edge into the roiling hot water.

"Oooh! AH! Mmm, God it hurts so good…" Closing her eyes, she began to sink down like a melting icicle, totally at peace with the world. The scent of sulfur in the air was a small price to pay for the restorative dip.

It was another few minutes before she heard steps — bare feet moving across the stones from the wooden deck. Chie opened her eyes to see Yukiko had a towel around her body and another folded atop her head, and looked perfectly serene in her surroundings. This was her home, after all.

"Ahhh, the heat must be getting to me," Chie said in a voice convincingly like a random guy. "A vision of a goddess appears!"

Yukiko let out a "pfff" as she dropped her body-towel to one side and slowly began to slide into the water. She barely had to ooh and ahh; she had probably bathed in it several times a week for her entire life. "Oh, Chie… that does feel nice to hear, but you don't have to keep doing that."

"Doing what? Being honest?" As Yukiko laughed, she leaned back to relax again. "You really are super pretty. I'm not just buttering you up; I always thought that. Guess I just didn't realise I thought about it as much as I did. Pretty dumb, huh?"

"Not when I'm in the same boat," she countered smoothly as she pressed in close to Chie's side, wrapping her arms around one of hers. She shivered at the sensation of a nipple sliding over her skin but suppressed any further comment.

"Mmmm, I guess… that's true."

"So. You wanted to talk about how spanking me made you feel?"

Dipping her head, she muttered under her breath, "N-not unless I have to…" But the pointed look from Yukiko made her sigh. "Okay. So… like, it was really hot, but it also made me want to protect you. From me! Isn't that crazy?!"

"Not at all," she whispered as she pressed her lips into Chie's warm cheek, causing the latter to smile and lean into the contact. Yukiko giggled quietly. "I think it's very sweet. But I also know a part of you wants to punish me, and a part of me wants to be punished. So…"

"So what? We just live with it because I'm a big chicken?"

"NO!" They both laughed a little. "Not a chicken. You're my brave hero."

That line made Chie grin much more giddily, even if she felt like her face was on fire. "N-nah. You're just too important to the world not to save."

"The world, psh. I highly doubt anyone would know I was gone, except for my family and friends."

"Are you kidding? You're famous!" At her friend's dubious look, she amended, "Well, you were already Inaba-famous, and now you've been on the news and everybody knows you're smokin' hot. So like, pretty famous now, right?"

"I suppose," she whispered shyly, before clearing her throat. "But you're trying to distract me. Perhaps we should do some research."

"Research? On whether you're smokin' hot?"

With a little smirk, she muttered, "I have a feeling you can do that all on your own. No, I meant into you punishing me."

"OH! Oh, that. Well, u-um…" She would have tugged at her collar if she had one. "I mean, how would you even do that? Looking at porn again? I would feel pretty weird watching it with you. Hell, I'd feel weird watching it by myself again!"

"Other-Chie had a whip, too…"

That silenced her friend for a few seconds. She kicked her feet, watching them bounce lazily in the murky water. Then she whispered, "I don't want that."

"You obviously do."

"No… it's just the kinkiest thing I've ever heard of. I think our shadows kind of… take little pieces of stuff we want, and blow them up as big as they possibly can. To get us to freak out. Like, do you honestly want to be my dog, wearing a damn collar?"

No reply. Chie slowly turned to look down at her blushing friend.

"There are worse fates," she finally whispered.

"Yuki-chan…?"

"It would mean I really do belong to you. It should sound degrading, but it's you. That is what I want, even if a collar and leash is a bit literal."

Gulping, she rubbed up and down Yukiko's back for a moment as she pondered the ramifications. Her friend wanted a collar? Or no — she wouldn't mind a collar, because what she wanted was what it represented. That wasn't quite the same thing but was close enough that she still felt surprised.

"So…" She swallowed hard. "If I did get you a collar… would you react the way your shadow did?" The way Yukiko bit her lip and tried not to grin said it all. "Whoa…"

"Is that so bad? Maybe it's a little extreme…"

"No! No, it's cool, just like… a really big engagement ring, or something! R-right? One that goes around your neck instead! Y-yeah!"

Yukiko kissed the corner of her mouth. "You're adorable when you're flustered." When Chie only turned her head slightly, she repeated the action more firmly against her lips. "My reluctant Prince."

"Shut up already," she grumbled, even if she was smiling. They embraced tightly for a moment, relaxing and letting the heat from the springs penetrate their bones. "Mmm… I'm still really shocked over here. My best friend is my… can I say… is the word 'girlfriend' right?"

"Oh. I guess I haven't thought about that part yet." Eyes wide, she looked up at her curiously. "Is that what you want to call me?"

"I, uh, I think so? I don't know…" Yukiko didn't push. Eventually, Chie whispered, "Yeah."

All smiles, she whispered, "And you can still just be my Prince. I think I like that better than 'girlfriend' for you… and you sure aren't my boyfriend."

"Thank you," she sighed in obvious relief. "I hear plenty of kids saying I'm too much like a boy, so like, I'm glad you're not trying to put me in that box, too."

"Does it bother you that much? Everyone calling you a boy."

Chie sighed, nuzzling the top of Yukiko's head — careful not to dislodge her towel. "At first, it was kinda cool, almost. Like they were saying I was strong because I know martial arts, and am no pushover. But then it was like… I don't want to actually be a boy, I want to be a strong girl. Y'know? So what they say gets to me sometimes. My shadow saw that, kept bringing up how I'm not very girly and I'm jealous of how cute and feminine you are."

"Hmph," Yukiko sighed through her nostrils, staring out across the gently bubbling water. "Then that was very rude of your shadow. Of course, she seemed to be rude most of the time…"

"Mm, you ain't lying." Her hands began to rub up and down her arms, pulling her even closer. "You feel really good."

"Do I?" When Chie nodded, she smiled and melted into the embrace. "I've been waiting for a long time for someone to say that to me."

"Yeah?"

"Yes. Just because I didn't expect it to be you didn't mean my shadow wasn't right, as well: I wanted a Prince to dote on me. To make me feel special."

The tomboy thought about that for a moment, leaning back against the rocks with her junior innkeeper in her arms. They really could have collided together like this at any time. How backwards was their society that such a love was discouraged, or looked down upon? Perhaps it wasn't met with so much hatred as it was in the west but it was still unfortunate. There were probably tons of couples that were equally unlucky — maybe even at their school.

"Then I'm gonna say it to you every day for the rest of your life."

Giggling, Yukiko lightly swatted her forearm. "Stop."

"Why? Why stop? I mean it."

"Stop because… it sounds… too good to be true. But I'll get used to this eventually, my Prince."

Then she surprised her by rolling over and straddling her lap, sliding her arms around Chie's shoulders. She only had time to blink before she was being kissed soundly by a delicate angel. Her mind went blank, her heart thudding hard in her chest as she wrapped her arms tightly around her and held her as close as was humanly possible, eyes closing to let the moment surround her rather than slip past like so many others.

A little at a time, she began to notice their hips were moving — a natural reaction. She broke the kiss to pant quietly, "I guess… if I had a dick, this would be leading to… something else."

"Y-yes, I… I suppose… that's true." She snickered. "And you just said you didn't want to be a boy."

"Well, I don't! But like, it would make at least one thing easier…"

"Important things don't always come easily, Prince. Now… do you want something more from me?"

"Oh… well…" Her hands slid down and began to knead Yukiko's ass cheeks. Their owner gasped, posture going rigid. "I could think of a few things."

"Nh! Chie, that's indecent!"

Dipping her head, she whispered, "Sorry! I was just trying to play with you, I don't… know what I'm doing."

"No, no, I'm sorry. It was… an instinct." Drawing back slightly, she tucked a wet strand behind her ear, then caught her towel as it began to slip off into the water. She seemed to decide its perch was precarious since they would be moving a lot more, and instead tossed it onto the nearby rocks. "I have been taught to never be immodest, you know. That's why my shadow… well, she was so…"

"Slutty?"

"Not my choice of words," she hedged, cheeks warming. "But yes. I suppose I've always wanted to be less inhibited." Her smile was tentative, but almost a little proud of itself. "I think I'm making great strides today. Don't you?"

God that smile was adorable. "Y-yeah, of course. You're so hot… and being so hot. Like, are you sure we're not about to get caught? I don't wanna randomly get you in trouble, or… like… force you to let everybody know how we are now."

"Oh? And… how are we?" Her eyebrow arched bemusedly.

"Y'know! Like…" After a moment, she pouted and glared. "You're trying to give me shit, but you're not any more used to the idea than I am, you jerk!"

Giggling, she nuzzled their noses together. "Okay, okay. Yuri. But you're right… I couldn't say it in front of anyone else. Oh — don't worry about intruders, I asked the staff to ensure we would have privacy."

"You did?! Really? Wow…" As Yukiko hugged her tighter, she shook her head. "You think of everything. Man, I wish I was smart like you."

"Chie-chan… I keep telling you, don't I? You are not stupid; you just don't apply yourself in your schoolwork. But if you did, you would be getting grades just as good as mine. Not saying you have to," she headed off the protests. "But you might want to consider studying with me more often. We'll spend more time together, and your grades will be better, and… then whatever your dream is, you can achieve it with the right education."

"Wow, okay, Mom," she goaded, poking her in the ribs. Instantly she squealed and tried to squirm away. "What? That's funny? You think it's funny, huh?!"

Yukiko squealed out "STOOOPAHAHAHAHA!" as she flailed around in the water. Which only made Chie want to poke her even more.

"You can't handle a little of this? Huh?"

"NOOOOHOHOHAHAHAHA!" she cackled, thrashing around and frothing the water with her limbs. Chie couldn't help continuing to punish her little ribs, laughing herself now. "CHIE!"

"Yeeeeeeeeaahh?"

Completely breathless now, she swatted her arm. "Cut that OUAAAHAHA! I can't- I can't breathe!"

Relenting, Chie simply embraced her, feeling that warmth sink into her bones — and not just from the water. This was a level of closeness, of complete emotional openness, that she had always wanted from Yukiko. She simply didn't have the language to ask for it. Maybe Yukiko didn't, either, since she had been raised to never inconvenience anyone and pushing the boundaries of their friendship definitely seemed to fit that category. Luckily, their shadows had conspired to push them together.

"I feel super lucky."

"Hm?" asked a still-breathless Yukiko.

"Uh… to have you, and like… be together. That stuff."

"Aww, such a poet."

Dipping her head, she muttered, "You don't have to be mean. But like, seriously, I know it's probably messed up to be grateful to our shadows, cuz like, they pretty much tried to kill us. Or would have, if we rejected them, but like… maybe that's…"

"Maybe it's what?"

"Maybe that part's not so weird. Like… it hurts to shut out part of yourself."

Yukiko nodded thoughtfully as she caressed up and down her lover's ribcage. "I would tend to agree. They did seem so grateful when we relented and stopped trying to argue against their being part of us."

"Right? And like, now I can feel them. Well, mine, anyway."

"The fighting spirit? Yes… it's like…" Pressing a hand to the center of Chie's chest, and causing the heart lying underneath to skip over a beat, she whispered, "I can feel Konohana Sakuya inside of me, but she cannot be given form anymore. That doesn't mean she's gone, though."

"Yeah. Do you think it's because we're in the real world, and not in the TV?"

"Very likely. We might see them again if we return to that other world."

"Mm." Simply breathing for a moment, she then whispered, "I don't think I want to go back. It's dangerous there, and… I already rescued my world. Got her right here."

Yukiko snickered softly. "What a line." Still, instead of goading her further, she left a light kiss on her lips. "But I feel the same, so perhaps I shouldn't tease."

"Yeah, cut that shit out. Just let me love you." She smirked a little before pushing her lips into Yukiko's again, humming with mingling interest… and relief. They felt the same. Maybe this whole situation wasn't so disastrous after all.

                                           To Be Continued…

[strxwberrycosmos]

"jamais vu"

Jungkook smiles wryly and shakes his head, looking down at the ground to avoid eye contact with his hands shoved into his pockets and his eyes watering. “Yeah, I wish life had a reset button. But I guess I just have to deal with it huh? That's just how the real world works,” he chuckles and looks up at Hoseok, biting down on his lips. “this isn't one of my games..”

Hoseok catches sight of the gleam in the younger ones eyes and his chest is singed with a sharp, deep, pain. “Hey..” he begins to reach out then pulls his hand back hesitantly, causing Jungkook to be hit with that same sharp pain. “I wish this was all just a game. Yeah, it'd be a lot easier to get over this if I could just press a button.” Hoseok grimaces and clenches his fists. “but I can't continue like this Jungkook, being so close to you and knowing you feel the same, only to have one thing stand in our way.. I blame myself though.” He locks eyes with Jungkook and a hot tear rolls down his cheek before he quickly wipes it away. “I feel myself breaking down everyday I have to pretend not to love you in front of everyone else, of pretending like just being friends is okay with me. I feel so stuck and torn down.. Not only in my head but it's showing on the outside too. And it'll continue unless I step away.. For good this time.” Hoseok's face is streaked with a few more tears at this point, his hand gripping onto his own arm and his jaw tightening. “I just wanted to show you that I could be good to you, as more than a best friend.. I only wanted to make you smile..”

Jungkooks shoulders gently shake with his quiet crying as he listens to the older male's words, and he tightly grabs onto the plush upholstery of the white sofa he's sitting on. “Please..” he starts softly before getting louder and braver. “Give me a way to fix this..” Jungkook felt like his heart wasn't even beating as Hoseok only stared back into his eyes with frustration and defeat. “.. So, what do I do now..?” Jungkook felt as if he could only beg fate to save him and give them a second chance at this point. “All the memories we have together, our friendship.. Is it better now to just pretend none of it ever happened..?” Jungkook was only getting more emotional and slowly stood up from the sofa. “All the little inside jokes, all of the good mornings, goodnights, the future plans we had.. Everything?” Hoseok covered his mouth with one hand and slightly turns away from the boy that stood in front of him, his brow knitting together. “Hobi,” a ghost of a smile graces Jungkook's face before it's gone again, as he realizes the little nickname slipped out by habit. “I know this isn't the first time we've tried distancing ourselves for the better, but why does this feel more permanent..? I can't keep telling myself I'm alright when it feels like that.”

Hoseok scoffs and sniffs before trying to gather himself enough to speak again. “The trial and error of trying to distance ourselves is over. It has to be actual this time. It hurts to have to do it over and over again, only coming back to disappointment and a reminder of why exactly we can't be together.” He then grabs at his hair frustratedly and moves for the door, twisting the handle and swinging the door halfway open. “I can't keep it up!!" He suddenly yells out in angst. "Every word of mine, every thought is fucking consumed, by you..." He looks back at the one person he couldn't get out of his mind and shakes his head. "And I have to suppress it all.. I can't fucking hold you like I want, you can't say anything I wish to hear without guilt..” he holds onto the doorknob with one hand, the other holding onto the doorway as he faces outside, nearly doubled over from the feeling of having the breath knocked out of him. Jungkook comes up to his side cautiously, placing his hand on Hoseok's shoulder as he clenches his teeth to keep from crying any louder. This couldn't actually be a goodbye. “Kook.. I just can't do it anymore.. You know I love you, so much. Everytime we do this I come back, but this... This is it.. You're all I want and I can't have you. So I have to move on instead of torturing myself this way. This, is how we fix it.” Jungkook turns Hoseok around and desperately takes his face in his hands looking him straight in his eyes, Hoseok placing his hands over the other's. Both of their visions were blurred from the excessive involuntary crying, but they could see how red and puffy the other's eyes were, both of their eyelashes accentuated by the tears that clung to them. “Please.” Jungkook says again seriously, and Hoseok's bottom lip quivers as he tries to stay strong. “I don't know what I'll do if we go through with this Hoseok. I already feel as if I can barely breathe right now.. Maybe we'll get a better chance in the future.. Please, can we fix it..” Jungkook frantically searches Hoseok's eyes for anything that says he'll stay.

Hoseok pulls Jungkook’s hands down from his face and timidly places a gentle kiss on his forehead. “I want to fix it-”

Jungkook starts up again talking while Hoseok does, intending to encourage him “A-And maybe we still can, I know it seems like we only try to fail again but-”

“Honestly though, Kook-” Hoseok says frustratedly, his emotions intensifying again as he begins to pull away.

“Over and over again but I'm ready to wait until the timing is right, I haven't figured out how we'll make it work but we will-” Jungkook tries to hold onto Hoseok as he moves towards the door again.

“How much longer Jungkook?! Tell me when's the right time to let go and move on?!” They were both raising their voices to be heard over the other at this point. Hoseok already had one foot out of the door. “You know I love you more than anything but nothing about our circumstances are going to change!! Time has shown that..” Hoseok started to fall apart again, his voice breaking and becoming quiet. “Please, tell me, give me the fix if you have it-”

“The fix could just be time Hoseok- I don't know how, no, but it's killing me just to think of letting you go like this!! You're my best friend, and you know you're more than that even..”

The older boy whips around and slams his fist against the brick wall on the outside of the apartment, tears still coming even if he thought he had no tears left to cry. “... And what is “more than that” and yet had to remain unspeakable? Kook, what're we doing? We're just stuck in limbo, with nowhere to go.” He laughs at himself and continues, “Limbo.. Guess this has been a game the whole time. Just not the kind you can reset, and we've lost, we don't get a million tries. This isn't overwatch or something- no it's more like being on your last life with super mario brothers, or fucking pacman- but what am I doing sitting here rambling about games for..”

Jungkook can't help the corners of his mouth turning up the slightest bit, and the two of them reach for each other's faces again, resting their foreheads together for a moment. Hoseok's hand carefully petting Jungkook's hair, and Jungkook carefully running his thumb over the other's cheek. A moment of silence then ensued, before Hoseok's broken voice pierced the air again, “Did I at least succeed in making you smile..?” Hoseok asks gently, and slowly pulls back for the last time, letting his hands linger in the others dark hair a moment longer.

“Hoseok, please- I know things are hard this way but please don't leave-” Jungkook grabs onto Hoseok's arm.

“I won't be able to stop thinking about you for a long while, even when it hurts me so bad-” Hoseok pulls his hand away and steps backwards, back outside.

“Then don't leave, we don't have to do this-” Jungkook steps closer with every step taken back, reaching for his friend, for hoseok, for the one he loved.

“We've been through this pain before, it's just a little stronger this time, a little more permanent, but we're going to be okay-” he looks at Jungkook sympathetically and simultaneously injured, backing away from his touch.

“Hoseok don't do this me, to us, please-” Jungkook's breathing was getting heavier as the love of his life was slowly slipping through his fingertips right before his eyes.

“It won't be easy this time, but we need to both understand, we know there can't be an “us”. Not really-” The older male begins to turn around facing sideways to jungkook, speaking to the younger from a few feet now.

“Give it, give us another chance to make it this time? Please..” Jungkook stood holding his doorknob and tightly holding onto the hem of the bottom of his white t-shirt as hoseok continued to turn away.

“I didn't want to give up…” Hoseok mumbles barely audible, and slowly begins to walk away. Promising himself not to look back.

Jungkook hears Hoseok, and watches as the person he cared about most, walked right out of his life until fate felt kind enough to maybe give them another go. Jungkook replies slowly in a loud and clear voice, one still tainted with brokenness and shaking, causing Hoseok to falter in his step, and almost turn around. “I love you Jung Hoseok, and I don't give up.”

- admin kuma

[strxnged]

ahh turns out im back for a bit lol, i honestly have no clue when ill be active, it could be tomorrow or in a couple weeks lol.

im so glad that my parents office opened for families to come in and enjoy the ac. and its perfect because they just renovated and now im sitting in a cool hanging chair with a view of the buildings below us through the floor to ceiling windows. seriously this place is so cool.

WHOS YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTER IN PROMISED NEVERLAND?? ray is my absolute favorite and i love him so much omg.

i havent done any team sports but i did karate for 5 years. but then covid happened so classes stopped, and im thinking of quitting anyway since all my friends are off to college and my friends that are my age all quit. and i am not for teaching a bunch of bratty middle schoolers because i lose my patience easily lol, they remind me of younger me though, and i cringe thinking about how annoying younger me was haha.

though im looking for boxing lessons though. karate was great and i was good at it because im really strong, and the instructor made me focus on my punches all the time since i was the best in the class so thats where i got the idea of boxing from. i might as well focus on my strengths. also i wanna start because of the aesthetic too lol, and prime character development haha, living my life like im the main character.

literally my only goal in life is to become the main character. like straight out of a novel, aesthetic asf and badass is what im going for. like vibey and cool but also someone you can have deep convos with?? and strangely wise? and resourceful in a bunch of random things is what im going for lmao. idk if ill actually make it though because the image of myself in my head is different than what i actually am.

BESTIE I THINK YOU WOULD BE THE MAIN CHARACTER TOO, LIKE YOU JUST GIVE OFF THOSE VIBESSS

gl in the heat, i hope the heat wave ends soon, i am in pain.

ooh okay !! yeah, idk what my schedule looks like either, some days i'm gone except for like three posts and then there are day like today where i'm just answering asks plsss

oh my gosh that's good. it's just so crazily hot this week in a lot of places and it's not sAFE. OH THAT SOUNDS LIKE A VIBE WAIT YES

pls norman is totally my favourite. major sugawara koushi vibes ngl 👍 he's like suga but child and also stuck in a dystopia or something but wahuwahahw

ooh karate?? that's sickk a friend of mine did taekwondo and although i never actually saw her in action i admired her for it (pls idk if she's gonna read this so i'll just tag her @minadreams love u niner). EW MIDDLE SCHOOL KIDS i literally CANNOT be around 75% of them it's just badddd they all remind me of myself or other people i knew when we were that age and just. no. no.

NO THAT'S ACTUALLY SO AWESOME I HAVE SO MUCH RESPECT FOR YOU BECAUSE OF THAT. BECAUSE YOU SHOULD DO THAT, I AGREE. YOU ARE SO SKILLED AND HAVE SO MANY STRENGTHS AND YOU'RE ALREADY BADASS GIRL AND YES YOU TOTALLY GIVE OFF THE VIBES OF SOMEONE I WOULD LOOK UP TO AND ALSO WANNA HAVE DEEP CONVOS UP LATE AT NIGHT WITH OR SOMETHING

stop wait i can't express how much fun this topic is to me but i promise that if we were talking at two am i would start ranting about what a fun concept it is and it would quickly be five am. i TOTALLY get having a different mental image of yourself, and i try so hard to keep mine accurate but it's so hard to understand the outward vs the inward persona pls

bestie you have no idea what that did to me. let's make out rn im serious

MHM MHM we got this, we strong badass main characters 💪💪

[forkanna]

[AO3] [WATTPAD]

Sorry for the long hiatus from posting. I really didn't intend for that to happen. My grandfather passed away, and not only was I dealing with that emotionally, but there has been a lot going on as a result in my life. Aside from that, I had a vacation and a birthday in there as well. Thank you in advance for coming back if you're still reading along; I promise I'm going to try to refocus and post more frequently until this fic is completed.

-----------------------------------

"Alright, now you have a big bowl of meat and rice. Enough to choke a camel. Let's hear it."

"Hear what?" Rise asked airily as she picked at the bowl, as if she hadn't a care in the world. Of course this was mostly a bit of revenge; she wanted her to have to sweat for a moment. Just because she still loved Ai didn't mean she wasn't above a little light-hearted torture between friends.

"You're so smart, you know everything. Tell me why you think I was blackmailing you into outing me."

"Why should I? You've been pretty terrible to me. I mean, I know you had 'reasons', but like… I apologised for those. And you could tell me, since I mean… okay, Ebi-chan. Do you want to really get real?"

The teen queen rolled her eyes. "Go ahead. There doesn't seem to be any stopping you."

"Alright. I think this is childish and dumb. Can't we just talk about this and work through it? Wouldn't that be healthier?"

"Oh, I agree. Problem is, you didn't talk to me — you blabbed to all your friends. I don't know why I have to keep reminding you about that. Yeah, you apologised, but this is a lot bigger than 'I accidentally told the whole school you peed your pants.' This isn't just embarrassing, this isn't just a shitty rumour. Are you with me? Are you getting why this is-"

"YES!" she interrupted. When Ai looked extremely offended, she held up both hands, chopsticks in one of them. "Sorry. I just… I know you really think I don't get it. That's coming in loud and clear, but can you like, hear me when I say I do now?"

"Sorry, no. You broke my trust and now you have to fix it, girl."

"Alright." Then she sat up a little straighter and looked at her. "Wait…"

"What?" Ai's lips thinned and she went completely rigid, hand moving up to her cheek. "Do I… there's something on my face. Right?"

"No. You just admitted I can fix it. That means this whole thing… you're putting on a front, right? Just trying to make me really apologise for messing up so bad. So there's hope!"

"Hey, NO! That is not what this means, you can't-"

"Noooo, nope, no take-backs! HAH!" She even hopped up and down in her seat, pointing at Ai as the other girl grimaced. "I got you, I got you, you do still like me! You can't hide it anymore!"

"SHUT UP! Jesus Christ, I can't even be mad and you actually believe me; what is this victim-denial bullshi-" But she couldn't even finish the words, because Rise was sweeping her into a crushing hug. "Get OFF, you leech!"

"I'm so happy!" she whispered.

And the table was quiet for a minute. Both of them sort of suddenly realised words weren't adequate to address the romantic corner they had painted themselves into.

"God. You're ruining everything."

"I know, I know. But I'm too cute for you to stay mad at forever."

"Wrong. That would work on a dumb boy, but not on me."

Rise just relaxed against her for a moment, even though the relaxation component felt like it was getting smaller and smaller. Still too much tension. Then she threw her trump card away completely. "You want me to out you… because it'll prove you right. That I'm a bad friend, and a jerk, and I can't be trusted. Then you can feel better about cutting me outta your life forever; less guilty."

No response. When almost a minute passed, Rise finally drew away to pick at her food because she couldn't stand the waiting. Neither could she look at Ai. Maybe this was too big; maybe they had just hurt each other too much, even though it was just a series of accidents and retaliations over accidents. She was beginning to feel sick, and guilty that she was probably not going to be able to finish her food…

"Do you feel smart now or something?"

Her chopsticks clattered to the table. "Huh?"

"For figuring it out." Ai's voice was so low and quiet; it could have been anger, it could have been sadness. "But I don't get how you can be smart enough to know that, and too stupid to know to keep your mouth shut about my… situation."

Rise almost fired up again, since Ai was worse than a dog with a bone, but somehow managed to throttle it down. "Because I'm new to this. And I think you would see that if you weren't so… mad. I get why you are, a lot better now, but if you're gonna hate me for making a mistake forever… I can't do that. I really will walk out of your life. Is it worth it to you to hold that grudge?"

"Maybe. I do love holding grudges against people who hurt me. It's so much fun normally."

"But I didn't. I just made a mistake, and the mistake hurt you. I tried to cover it, and I made another one, and… and I'm just gonna keep making them because I'm human, Ebi-chan. So are you. I just can't keep letting you make me feel like a criminal."

"And I can't be in a relationship with someone who's so careless with my secret. That's a big part of who I am, and it's something that could get me killed if the wrong person decides I'm an easy target for their hatred, to purge their fragile little emasculated feelings." Ai sighed. "Fuck."

"What?"

"I'm going to have to forgive you. Because even as I'm saying this, I hear it — that I'm beating a dead horse." When Rise started to look hopeful, she scowled and pointed at her face. "Listen good, bitch. This isn't a free pass; you hurt me, and I can't trust you anymore. But… like you said, I'm giving you the chance to start repairing the trust. You better not squander it."

That very solid warning did keep Rise from gasping in delight and throwing her arms around her again. The gravity of the situation tempered her joy very effectively. But she still reached down and took up Ai's hands, holding them tightly as she leaned closer.

"I'll be your best friend. Okay? We… can act like we're together in front of an audience, and then just… try to chill, a-and go back to buddies when we're alone. I'm taking 'dating' off the table so you don't, um… so you don't feel like…"

"So I haven't completely let you off the hook?" Ai guessed. When Rise nodded, she snorted and looked away. "Dumb. And the best option we have, I think, since…" Rise just nudged her to continue. "Since you're right. I do miss you and I hate all the fighting, and I'm over it. I just need this probationary period to figure out if I can ever trust you again."

Rise felt like she was soaring through the clouds, even though clearly Ai looked like she was suffering a crippling defeat. It was unfortunate things ended up this way but wallowing in misery about it would change nothing. "Thank you. I'm… I know it's hard, it's hard for me to admit I screwed up as bad as I did. And I'll never know how you felt! But I'm starting to get it, and… and I'm really glad you'll let me have more time to do better. Because I'm gonna prove you didn't mess up by giving that trust to me. Bet on it."

"Good. Now eat your stupid beef so we can get out of here, I'm not hungry at all."

"Neither am I, now. Can… we take it back to your place, and just relax? Or try to?"

"Ugh."

"We're going to have more of an audience the longer we stay."

That much was definitely true. Already, there were a few students eyeing them curiously, trying to be inconspicuous and failing spectacularly. Rise definitely wondered if they had been witness to their entire fight, and what they thought about it. But they were sitting far enough away that they couldn't possibly have heard any details; that served as a small relief.

"Yeah, let's go. I'm not a fucking trained monkey."

"Never said you were," she said delicately as they started to stand from the table, flagging down Aika to box up the rest of the food. But her dimples were showing from the sheer force of her giant smile. All hope was not lost and that was enough for now.

                                    ~ o ~

The walk back was pleasant, and the frost had finally been shaken off their relationship now that they had done most of the hard work. They could catch up on some of the small things they had missed in each other's lives while they weren't talking. Furthermore, since being under the microscope of the entire Yasogami student body made it impossible to put distance between them, a little additional warmth came along for the ride — and Rise couldn't be any happier for it if she tried. This was exactly what she had been hoping for, even if it came in such a roundabout way.

"So you really impressed me with that little trick."

Ai looked over from where she was changing out her city pop CDs. Chisato Moritaka had been really upbeat and fun, but Rise had requested something a little more mellow. "Which trick is that?"

"The tucking thing. That's what you called it, right?" She laughed as she leaned back against Ai's western-style bed, having elected to sit on the floor instead of being presumptuous about sitting on the bed itself. "Not that I saw the tucking part, just the mysterious missing penis, but that's still pretty cool you can do that. Totally faked out those girls, and me — and I guess you could do that with a boy too, if they tried to do something."

"Exactly," she told her with a smug smirk. "Never underestimate the power of a motivated trans girl. You did, and you had to face the consequences, bitch."

Rolling her eyes a little, Rise moved her stocking feet from side to side, trying in vain to touch her big toes together even though her legs were spaced too far apart for it to be possible. Just an idle exercise. "I did not — I don't even know enough about that stuff to understand how to underestimate somebody who's like you."

"Uh huh." The room was quiet for a moment, other than the gentle sounds of Taeko Ohnuki now floating out of her newly-acquired stereo; apparently, Rise's comment about Ai using her Joystation had gotten to her, innocent as it was. "You want a demonstration?"

"Of your power? What, are you gonna charge up your chi and blast a hole in the moon?"

Ai giggled as she sat on the bed. At least she could laugh around her again. "No, the tucking thing."

"Huh? Oh…" Shrugging, she turned a little bit more in her direction. "Yeah, I guess. I don't know how that's gonna do more than last time though, I mean… wait, are you flashing me again?!"

"No, you dumbass! I mean, yes, but you won't see anything; that's the whole point. But hang on."

No other situation had felt more awkward. Rise found herself gawking as Ai reached under her skirt to fiddle for a moment, and she turned her head out of instinct. What was happening?! But after a second, she heard, "Okay, there it is. Do you wanna like, be flashed, or inspect for yourself?"

"I- I don't think I sh- I'm not gonna do that!" Rise hissed. "Isn't that, um, indecent?"

"Not if I'm saying 'hey, inspect me'."

"Well… I… can't argue with that." So she cleared her throat and stood on her knees, walking over to her that way so the target remained at eye level. "I'm gonna inspect really good. You're sure that's cool?'

"Yep. Do whatever you want. I mean, not too crazy; I'm sure you'll figure out where the line is, you're pretty smart."

That compliment helped soothe her nerves slightly. It was wonderful to hear Ai say something nice about her again. So Rise reached up and lifted the skirt, seeing Ai's pale pink panties in place as was normal. "Wow… I mean, yeah, there's supposed to be a dick here and there isn't right now. Are you sure you weren't just pulling a big prank on everybody?"

"Is that your way of asking me to show you?" When Rise only started to flush a deeper red, Ai smirked. "Didn't think so. You're so soft."

"Uh! I am NOT, I'm just not the slut you think I am!"

"Hey, I never said you were. Well… not since I got to know you." They exchanged a smile. "But yeah, there it is; you can see how I got away with it."

"Okay, hang on then; I'm not done." She started to peel her panties down, casting an occasional glance up at Ai's face; making sure this wasn't too far. Though she did look a little less smug and bemused, more serious, she wasn't trying to stop her and there was no fear in her features. So…

The same soft skin, the same little mole near her hip… same perfectly-trimmed landing strip. Rise treated her own pubic region similarly; she knew nobody would be visiting down there, but it just felt nicer to take care of the landscaping now that it was necessary for her to do so. She smiled and passed a finger over the hairs, and saw their owner shivered in response.

No prominent male organ was visible. Not that she could see. Upon closer inspection, there did seem to be some slight folding in the skin just where it disappeared between her thighs, but it wasn't too out of the ordinary.

"Okay, I guess now I'm done. Like…" Rise cleared her throat, her pulse was racing in her throat. Mostly because at this proximity, she could catch a very slight hint of some kind of musk and it was beginning to get to her; the scent was so vague she could almost convince herself she was imagining it, but she also knew that was a lot less likely than that she was being hit by Ai's pheromones. "Like, um…"

"Like what?" Ai asked warily, even though she was clearly trying to keep calm. She wanted to trust Rise, and was — provisionally. However, clearly they were both being affected by their positioning.

"Like, I could… put my finger in there… and probably find more, or… b-but this is all you would have to do for those girls, or for some dumb creep who's attacking you — like how you flashed me at school. So I don't need to do that."

"I wouldn't stop you."

Interesting. Rise felt like she couldn't breathe suddenly, but she tried to tell herself that this was just Ai joking around, or trying to provoke a reaction. Goading her, teasing her, like she always was. What if she just… did it? What if she poked her finger between her thighs there and found out for sure?

Or she could try something else. Something she wanted to do a lot more. She leaned forward…

"Oh," Ai breathed when she felt the lips pushing into her skin through the strip of well-trimmed hairs. So very close but not exploring further. "Rise…?"

"Sorry," she breathed as she sat back on her legs, hoping her face wasn't glowing like the sun as she smiled up at her. "I just… I wanted to do something nice for what you have down here. Whatever it is. A-and it was probably super weird, and I'm sorry, but like, I've been accidentally a bitch. You know I didn't mean to now — at least, I think you do. I hope. But I can still try to make you feel a little better."

Another little sigh fell from Ai as she looked down at Rise. "Dumb bitch." But she raised a hand to caress over her hair, tender and affectionate. Maybe they really had mostly fixed their friendship, even if everything else was awkward.

Then she noticed Ai was squirming. "Oh, um… sorry, I guess you want me to get my face out of your business."

"Well… more like, your face being in my business is making me feel things. But you're fine, it's just, uh, a side effect. I'll live."

"Feel what kind of things?" But Ai didn't answer; just squirmed. So she decided to see if the direct contact had been the culprit by kissing her again. That shiver confirmed her hypothesis. God, she had missed being able to kiss Ai; even though this wasn't on the lips, and it technically hadn't even been that long since the last time… she had missed it so damn much. Scary. "Good things, right?"

"Yeah… m-maybe." When she kissed again, the taller girl blustered, "Come on, you can't want to do that, it probably smells weird and tastes weird. Down there. N-not that I'd have any way of knowing."

"What? I just wanna be close to you, and… and you like this. Maybe?"

"I do not! Or, well, I… it's more like… you don't have to, we're all good now. I promise."

Rise stuck out her tongue briefly and said, "Never said I had to." Then she glanced down again. "Although… I know you explained it, but I'm still not really sure what you're doing. Like, where does it go?"

"Huh?"

"Your thing. Like, is it in your butt now?"

"Oh my GOD," she burst out, covering her face with her palm. "What kind of RPG do you think this is?! No, my dick doesn't magically get sucked into my ass!"

"Well, I mean, I can't see it! So if you swear you have one, then it had to go somewhere!"

"You keep saying you don't want me to show you, but then act like I have to show you," Ai snorted with a shake of her head.

"No! Well, yeah, you're right, I am doing that… I'm sorry, I'm just really curious! I'll shut up."

Which she did. However, Ai was clearly having nearly as bad a crisis of faith; or at least, it was different but equally excruciating. Her eyes were a little sad when she whispered, "Do you promise?"

"To shut up? Definitely."

"No, no, I meant… if I show you, will you still see me… as a woman?"

"Ai-"

"No, you have to. If you screw me in this department again, I swear it's really over; I can't start being misgendered everywhere I go, friends treating me like a freak, having to change schools. You know the score now, and you are at the very top of that list of what's important to me. So… if you can promise you won't start calling me a boy again, o-or-"

Rise felt her heart sinking. Even before now, even after all they had been through and all she had learned, she was hit with the sudden realisation that she had not quite understood how deeply important her female identity was to Ai. But that stark fear of losing it, readily apparent in her features? That completed the puzzle and laid it all bare.

"Ebi-chan… you're an amazing girl," she told her again, her smile as warm as it was defiant. She was more defying her own expectations, and the world around them, but she felt stronger, more sure of herself. "And you're going to be an amazing woman. And I just hope I'm there to see it happen, and I haven't messed up so bad I'm cut out of your life. But either way? You don't need me to tell you how badass you are."

That clearly meant the world to Ai. The anxiety didn't vanish, but it faded by a significant amount as she smiled down at her friend. "You always know what to say. Annoying. But… thank you again." Then she cleared her throat. "I can handle it for a second. But all you get is a second, and then I'm covering it, a-and that's it. Do you get me? Promise you get me, right now!"

"I promise!" she yelped, not even sure what she was promising. Mostly, she was just terrified of disappointing her and turning out to be a shitty friend yet again, so she couldn't waste time.

And then it was happening. Fast. Ai suddenly took a wide step to the side, and something was swinging up at her — and she slammed her eyes shut, flashing out with her hand defensively. "OHMYGOD!"

"OW! RISE!"

"What?! I- you have a DICK!"

"Yeah, I know I have one! YOU didn't know that, and I'm trying to show you so you're not- you didn't have to SMACK IT!"

"BUT I NEVER HAD A DICK SWING AT ME LIKE IT'S GONNA PUNCH ME IN THE FOREHEAD!"

The growl was so exasperated that Rise almost looked up at her just to see if she was mad. Almost. "Well, just… it's not swinging now! So look for a second, then touch it — nicely, and then I can put this stupid thing away! GOD!"

"Okay, FINE! Wow, you're so mean!"

The thing was, now that it wasn't moving at speed, Rise found she wasn't nearly as weirded out when she slit one eye open. Ai Ebihara… did indeed own what she assumed was a pretty average example of a penis. She didn't know if it was supposed to stick straight out like that, or if its size and shape was normal; this whole experience was just very strange, because she had never been in this position before. Well, that wasn't technically true, but the last time had only been an even more brief glimpse before security hauled the deranged fan away. And she wasn't on her knees that time, looking it in the eye.

Right; now she had to touch it — also unlike last time. Ai would have let her refuse if she said she wasn't comfortable, she knew that, but she also knew the whole point was to prove once and for all that this was reality, not some pack of lies. Besides, her own curiosity wouldn't let her back down. So she reached forward and pressed her fingertip into the top of the pale shaft.

Two things became immediately apparent. First, that it was warmer and softer than she had been expecting, even though she wasn't sure why she expected otherwise in the first place. Second…

"Hmmhhh."

…Ai liked having it touched. At least, that was what that little moan told her. Her finger began to slide up and down over the smooth skin-

"O-okay, that's enough!" Ai took a long step backward, hastily rearranging her skirt and underwear to cover herself. "Right. Well, I mean, I don't know if that was thrilling for you or what, but um… at least you know it's real now. So… so good."

Rise frowned as she struggled to her feet. "Hey, I believed you before. I mean, I have since the karaoke, anyway; like, I know I was kinda dumb about it there… but I knew you wouldn't be this serious about it just to mess with me."

"Oh. Well, alright, then."

"Wow, I can't believe you really are a b-uh…" Right; that was a big thing she had just promised. "You really were born a boy. Right? Is- if I say that, is it still bad? I'm trying to figure out how to say you have a dick without it sounding, um, vulgar."

Ai was flushing and still trying to cover herself. It worked, technically speaking, but the bulge was way too obvious now. "Mmhh, it's fine. You sound a little wacky, but not that bad. I appreciate you trying."

"Yeah, of course! You're my friend, I want to make you feel good if I can!"

"Right." A long pause. "You know I'm not a boy, right?"

"What?"

"Like, for real. Deep down. You aren't just saying things to make me not mad at you, are you?"

Had her there. "What do you mean? Like, of course I am! I've only ever heard of boys having dicks, like… most girls I've heard of like you, they got rid of those. Not that I know them personally. So this is different, and I'm really trying to understand…"

"Well, I probably will get rid of it, Rise," she sighed. Only a little irritated. If she had to guess, Ai was probably frustrated with the reality of her situation, not Rise's words. "When I'm out of high school. Because I really want to be a woman in mind and body, completely, but… right now this is the best I can do."

God, that hit her straight in the gut. The more she learned about who Ai was, how she felt inside, the more atrocious it sounded to have to live life the way she had up until this point. Even if she was mostly an entitled girl, very affluent and in control of her life, she had to go through such a dark time before she made it to being exactly who she wanted to be.

"And your best is… beautiful. Like, you're so pretty, and strong, and… and I really never saw you as a boy. Even after you told me, even after I found out you have one of those. I'm just… used to thinking of… I'm going around in circles."

Ai pulled Rise to the bed and sat her down with her. Wow, it was much harder to avoid glancing down again than she had expected! "I get it. And you screwed up the way I should have expected you to. I suppose I just liked you so much that I really hoped you would just understand me immediately. Stupid, isn't it?"

"Not at all." She smiled. Ai smiled back. Their faces drifted closer…

And Rise's phone went off. She had promised her grandmother she would help her clean up the shop. Maybe this was for the best, because her hand was on Ai's thigh — and she knew she would have felt tempted to move it that little bit higher.

"Well, I g-gotta go," she breathed shakily as she stood up, brushing off her skirt. "Um… I, uh…"

"You keep looking at it," Ai accused. "I'm not a freak; I hope you get that now."

"Oh, that's… not what I was thinking. Gotta go! Bye!"

Ai's brows were so very furrowed as the idol raced out of there before giving herself away. The last thing she wanted to reveal was just how impure some of her thoughts were becoming. And she knew that if she hadn't run away right when she did, it would have meant their relationship deepened a lot more depending on how those next minutes went. What an unmitigated disaster for their friendship that could be if things didn't turn out okay!

Even if the PR would be perfect. The more in love she was with her best friend, the more in love she would look with her best friend. She just hoped Ai was alright with that — if she ever found the nerve to tell her.

                                    To Be Continued…