mickey milkovich knowing he is loved is something so incredibly dear to me. like that teenage boy who thought he was fucked for life, destined to live on as he has…is now married to someone to loves him more than life. who fought for him and understands him and is patient with him when no one else is.
i just love him like an unhealthy amount okay. i’ll never be normal about him. ever.
71 notes
·
View notes
the reunion has me thinking about shadowgast and I just..... I still can't get over just how intimate Essek's first real interaction with Caleb was.
like, first of all, sharing spells is such a love language for wizards. spellbooks are their life's work, their pride and joy and everything they've ever learned, all bound up in parchment and leather. and not just that, but a wizard's spellbook is so often their entire life — it's the thing that keeps them safe, that keeps the people around them safe, that lets them fight and teach and keep learning. and books are fragile, they can be damaged, they can be lost or destroyed, so handing someone else your spellbook is such a sign of trust.
then there's that day in Rosohna, the first time Essek looked at Caleb like an equal instead of an outsider. they looked at this scruffy Empire dissenter with bad social skills and a knack for the arcane and said, let me teach you a few things. the man might not have had stars in his eyes the moment he saw Caleb, but damnit, I have to believe there was the inkling of love there — six days after they met, Essek took Caleb aside and taught him the secrets of his nation, the information that thousands, perhaps tens of thousands had fought and killed and died for.
and then the next time? when Caleb needed more than just building blocks and fundamentals? Essek taught him a spell that they developed, that they painstakingly created, that they poured their own soul into. Essek handed Caleb their spellbook and watched over his shoulder as he copied word-for-word, rune-for-rune the accomplishments Essek may never have even dreamed of being able to share with a like-minded person.
and in the reunion, Caleb cast gravity fissure, a 6th-level spell that he couldn't have learned anywhere except for Essek's spellbook. so after Cognouza, after the end of the world had passed them by, when these two people who might've never dared to dream about a happy ending finally got theirs, Essek looked at Caleb and said, here. leaf through the pages of my soul, trace your finger along every line of code that builds my mind, study every stroke of the pen and read my history in the ink. then, when you are done, tell me the pieces of my heart you wish to carry with you, and they are yours.
363 notes
·
View notes
Also I want to let you all know something...
Synesthesia moment:
The trans pride colors taste like birthday cake. That's one of my favorite flavors ever
10 notes
·
View notes
Final Chapters of The Princess, the Knight, and the Beast are up
I hope y’all like it, I like it a lot, and i’m pushing down all the emotions writing this has made me feel until i’m ready to process them they’re all good and i’m so happy. I can’t wait until i learn how to do an art so i can draw things.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/47187184/chapters/123148483
16 notes
·
View notes
me after lifting the lightest weights for like 10 minutes: I am a warrior goddess. I am Xena. I can beat up anyone who messes with me.
3 notes
·
View notes
somebody liiIiiiikes meeeeeee
i like you and i love you but omg that was so embarrasing pls delete that<3
5 notes
·
View notes
I feel your death under my skin no matter how much I try to bleed it out of me. I see you in your hospital bed. You died suddenly and without reason. They told us symptoms but no cause. Heart attack and Seizures. Respirators and IVs. Hospital bed. Grief rots my organs one by one. I feel it in my stomach as I picture your corpse and lose my lunch. I feel my liver bubbling sick as I spend my days pouring one drink, then another, then another. My lungs ache from the smoking but I can’t stop myself anymore. I lived the nightmare and still don’t feel it. I’m in denial. I’m a sorry excuse for a survivor. I imagine mom hovering over my corpse instead. There was no freak accident, there was no car crash, there was no where to seek revenge. His body failed him when he needed it most. Just as my body will do to me. One day I will die by my own hand, either through suicide or medical emergency. I can feel my body and my mind shutting down, I’m tugging imaginary IVs from my arms and signing myself out of the hospital. I refuse to heal and I can’t tell why. Life is giving me a second chance and I can’t help but plunge the knife into my chest again even if there’s no one else to stitch me back up. I’m just left sobbing and tucking intestines back into place in the dark. I can’t stop seeing you dead every time I close my eyes. I feel the rot deep within me. There is no way to get you back. I see no way to fix myself magically. I must heal to survive but I cannot stomach the process. I still can’t accept that you’re dead and yet it’s all I think about. Will this ever feel real? Will it ever have been real? Have I been rotting alone from the very start? Am I still alone now? Will I get out of here alive? How much longer can I do this?
10 notes
·
View notes