#okay but i felt bad for aven I don't like him but

[yellowymellon]

He looks at you with a smile, his cold voice echoes, you are Abt to lose the 50/50 on his banner :

i first need to talk abt sunday's jp va CUZ GOD DAMN

since sunday talks more in 2.1 it's much more noticable, his first 3 lines or so are extra friendly and gentle, sweeter than his customer service voice, and then slowly start to become more apathetic till he uses the harmony powers and it becomes ruthlessly cold, and at the end when aven started losing it his voice returned to being drippy sweet, like he's mocking him. then when he meets acheron and welt his voice is pretty back to his real tone, apathy! thanks hoyo im someone who's heavily attracted to voices you just had to awaken my unhealthy obsessions again!

(btw i play in jp so im talking abt it, i by no means think jp is the elite dub)

okay but i love this scene SM

aventurine was confident abt his advantage over sunday, he first comes strong trying to overpower him in their silly mind game, basically asserting his dominance by telling him how anxious and antsy he is, and how he already knows everything sunday is thinking abt, leaving sunday unable to impose much demands. it was a good deal for aven, he gets to corner and benefit sunday at the same time.

that was until sunday channeled the harmony's power ( i think everyone guessed it he should be an emenator), it might've been a bluff that not answering has consequences, but it was far too risky to actually try, it was that instant of doubt and fear that threw all of aven's momentum and the dynamic shifted, he not only understimated sunday but didnt expect him to carry xipe's will.

i think it's telling of sunday's character when he uses exact seconds to tell time, that is 1.8 minutes not even a full 2

i think it's also a bit weird how sunday keeps talking as if he is a conveying xipe's will when he is mostly doing stuff on his own, it's almost like xipe's will aligns with him not the other way around.

unrelated but this question was at first too random that i double looked at sunday "what ? are you also racist??"

tho i do like how these characters are realistic with their insults, sparkle judged aven based on his race and the both of them made fun of sunday based on that too xD

do you actually think that sunday could see the truth in aven's heart but he himself couldn't answer it? this time around sunday adds "truly" and thought aven's response was interesting the first time.

actually i'm less mad abt dr ratio betraying aven since he shouldnt have known sunday has this power or was going to well, execute him, but more mad abt his every micro aggression like, have you not heard of rhetorical questions?? jokes?? silly banter that alludes to nothing?? LEAVE him alone

i think that even if dr ratio didnt sell aven out, sunday still had his ability to expose lies and he didnt trust aven in either case, also something worth remembering ( when i finish the story that is) is that in his deal with dr ratio sunday mentioned "the" stellaron and not just in general, the family is very much aware of it, well....it makes sense for stellaron hunters to be here ig 😭

Fun fact : the one who was supposed to be in penacony was opal not aventurine, and the thing we know Abt opal is that, um, well he was going to threaten the family then strike, no negotiations no nothing, wonder how that would've went...

[faetima]

THE AVEN + HANAHAKI THING YESSS I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR SO LONG BECAUSE LIKE. I know it's always super angsty when it's the reader that gets hanahaki but rine having it. imagine pushing your s/o away because you don't think you can do a relationship rn just to get hit by the stupid idiot in love disease. damn sucks to be you man

(tbh hanahaki as fun as the angst is I love aventurine so much and usually just alter hanahaki to be like less deadly because a) I DONT WANT TO BE SAD and b) the whole guilt of "I developed hanahaki because of you now love me or I WILL die" feels strange to me)(but also yum angst and the consequences of pushing someone away) ((sorry I talk a lot teehee okay bye))

𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐫. 𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠. .

. . too bad he wasn't your darling anymore.

// tws ; slight cursing, blood ; gn reader ; modern au, hanahaki au 

a/n: finally wrote the aventurine exes hanahaki au lol ,, had no idea how to finish this but i might make a part 2 !! :3

ever since you had started dating aventurine, you felt like you were a burden to him in some way. but you were never sure if you were actually a burden to him, or if that was your mind playing tricks on you.

but last week had just solidified your beliefs.

you both had fought over something petty--you couldn't be bothered to remember what it was--and harsh words had been thrown around in the process.

words that cut deep into you, practically making you bleed out.

and after that?

aventurine had ignored you for the rest of the entire week. he hadn't even glanced in your direction. it was fine if he needed some space to think, but he didn't even tell you, he just started fucking ignoring you.

your efforts to talk to him had just been met by blank uninterested violet eyes.

everything that happened in the last week had all led up to yesterday.

you stood in front of his door, swallowing your nerves. why were you so nervous?

after everything that happened, everything you felt, everything he said, you didn't think you could handle a relationship at that point.

so, when aventurine answered the door, his blonde hair unruly and lavender eyes tired, you took a deep breath and finally said the words you had been so scared of saying.

"i want to break up."

--

now, you were rethinking your decision.

on one hand, it felt like a large weight had been lifted off your shoulders.

on the other hand, breaking up with him had left you in your current predicament: crouched on the cold tiled floor of your apartment, hurling up bright yellow marigolds. you coughed them up, unwillingly watching as they hit your newly polished floor. they hit the ground ungracefully, clumped together with a disgusting mixture of mucus and blood. you gagged on the flowers as the sickly sweet smell of the marigolds hit you, making you feel lightheaded and sick to your stomach.

you didn't think you would get the disease again after aventurine asked you out.

you had it once, albeit briefly. it was before you had even talked to aventurine, too scared to do so. maybe it had been your shyness, or maybe you were just scared of rejection. you weren't too sure which, but it had caused you to cough out a few lemon yellow petals.

but, as quickly as the disease had started, it had ended. aventurine talked to you and started getting close to you, and your hanahaki had eventually diminished into nothing. after that, you thought it would never start again.

but you guessed you were wrong, since the disease decided to plague you.

marigold petals--slick with mucus--fell out your mouth as you coughed your lungs out. they fell almost gracefully onto the small flower pile.

you took fast and shaky breaths, collapsing. you were too exhausted to move, the hanahaki sucking all the life out of you.

--

it had been a week now, and the disease had just gotten worse. at this rate, it would only take a month or two until you suffocated on the fucking marigolds.

you could talk to aventurine, but he would probably just ignore you again.

you could get the surgery, but you would rather die than forget aventurine. you still loved him.

at this point, you couldn't do anything but hope that the disease would just somehow go away.

--

aventurine was growing increasingly worried as the days passed.

he hadn't seen you at all after you had broken up. sure, that was normal, but his gut told him something was wrong.

horrible thoughts of what could've happened to you plagued his mind, and he couldn't take it anymore.

he grabbed his keys, his coat, and headed towards your apartment.

maybe it was an invasion of privacy, but even your friends felt as if something were terribly wrong. he'd just check on you once, and never speak to you again. you'd be okay with that, right?

--

aventurine had knocked about a dozen times by now, but had received no answer.

he swallowed. he still had a spare key to your apartment, but what if you didn't want him to come in? what if you were just busy? what if he was breaching your privacy?

he took a shaky inhale.

fuck it.

--

he stepped inside your apartment, and was hit by the extremely potent smell of marigolds.

he glanced around, and froze at what he saw.

[fictionfixations]

i do this thing where in games where you can choose your name i choose a character from my most recent fixation

that stonehearts trailer came out and oh mygod and i just so i here i am

with aven. hes so pretty. ehfuidgh

also im going through deep story rn (i dont know what im supposed to do to get good ending so haha i might get aven blown up oops. on sevens route)

Aventurine: ...haha.

Aventurine: congrats

Aventurine: I think cat businesses will be really fun to work on

Aventurine: How short they last...?

Aventurine: Don't you think it will be fun?

Aventurine: It's good for Jumin to have fun at work. He just has to pay his workers properly.

Aventurine: I think that's a good idea. More and more people are allergic these days. Tell him to contact me.

Aventurine: Good luck today!

Aventurine: lolol Save one for me too~

Aventurine: I want one too +_+

Aventurine: I think it's okay. The cat's cute.

Aventurine: That's a good way to think~ Good luck!

Aventurine: I don't feel so good about it.

Aventurine: Yup. Let's not be depressed and try to have a positive outlook on solving this.

Aventurine: That's not enough.

Aventurine: I'll be waiting for you☆

Aventurine: Mental recovery abracadabra!

Aventurine: I knew it! I felt as if you were looking at me every 2.35 seconds!!!

Aventurine: I love genius people!

Aventurine: Mr. Luciel is always open to financial cooperation.

Aventurine: Hello~

Aventurine: You can't joke about things like that T_T

Aventurine: Then come see me~!

Aventurine: To be honest... I want one ^^

Aventurine: Romantic... That sounds nice! I want to experience what that's like~★

Aventurine: Right you are~!

Whoopp~~ Best, Aventurine

Jaehee: He is too worried about securing Aventurine's safety. Usually, he would have taken care of it by now... Aventurine: I'm sorry that I'm so attractive...T_T Zen: lololol Yeah... But are you really sorry? lol

ill prob make a post if i get a bad ending

[local-starry-catboi]

𝐼 𝒹𝑒𝓈𝑒𝓇𝓋𝑒 𝒾𝓉, 𝒹𝑜𝓃'𝓉 𝐼?

Title: "I deserve it, don't I?"

Fandom: Honkai Star Rail

Characters: Aventurine, Seth (OC)

Genre : Hurt/comfort

Content Warnings : A little pinch of angst and a large bucket of fluff. Otherwise, no spoiler warning or anything.

Word count : 2,272

Character count : 13,029

Synopsis : Aventurine got threatened to be assassinated, and Seth, his beloved bodyguard also known as 'Cerberus', is watching over him for the night. Awakened by a horrific nightmare, his personal hellhound is running to the rescue.

A/n : The more I read about this charming bastard, the more I just want to hold him. Poor man deserves all the freedom and happiness he can get, and if I have to bite the IPC for that 🦝🥄

A/n 2 : Will be crossposted on Ao3 when I get around to it •3•

A/n 3 : Check out > Part 2 of the fanfic :>

Fic under the cut for length ✨️

Besides the fact that someone had announced they’d come after Aventurine's life, the two have had a normal evening like any other.

After dinner, the two men went to one of the casinos in Penacony, and once it was time for bed due to a meeting before noon the following day, they headed back to the hotel.

So, Aventurine went to bed with a goodnight kiss, with his bodyguard and secret lover staying up to fend off any threats.

Seth had no issue pulling an all-nighter to keep watch over his employer. He secured the front of the door with a little table and a chair from inside their shared room.

On said table, he had placed down the utensils and parts of his disassembled pistol as well as the still whole one, so he could clean them one by one.

Nothing and nobody would get past him.

Nothing but peace and quiet. The only thing that could be heard was the quiet chatter and steps of the few people wandering the distant hallways, the quiet buzz of electricity, and the muffled, soft splashes and bubbling of the liquid filling the Dreampools.

Well, besides the clicking of metal and soft rustling of the thin brush or the cloth he was using to clean ‘Crime’ and ‘Punishment’ - his faithful twin pistols - with.

Alas, after a while, he did hear quite some noise and screams from inside. A loud thud. Immediately, Seth jumped up and barged into the room. Alarmed.

The chair toppled over. Thud. The door flung open. He readied his pistols. They clicked. Checked the room for his boyfriend. For any threat that might've infiltrated the room. His muscles tensed up. Unable to find him. Blood and adrenaline rushed through his veins.

“Aven?!”, he called out.

No signs of a break-in…

His eyes darted around the dimly lit room. Spotting a tuft of blond hair next to the farther side of the bed, he relaxed his posture. Held the guns so they'd point up, until he'd eventually put them away.

His crimson eyes checked for any possible injuries on the smaller man. Hopefully just a few minor bruises from falling off the bed, from what he assumed. His gaze spoke more a “You okay?” than he’d voice out.

“Seth!”, said one exclaimed before letting out a sigh of relief upon spotting his bodyguard and partner to the rescue. His heart was racing. His eyes darted around in panic. His throat felt dry. Cold sweat glistened on his pale skin. Crystalline, almost sparkling tears streamed down his cheeks.

“You're awake..”.

His voice rarely sounded so thin. So shaky. So scared.

The nightmare must have been a particularly bad one.

With a small breath of relief, Crime and Punishment slipped back into the holsters on his harness. He pushed the door closed using his foot. With just a few strides, he walked over to the bed.

After picking him up like a sad wet cat, he placed the smaller man down on the mattress.

Handed him a glass of water he just poured from the carafe on the nightstand. Watched as his boss emptied it in one go, cupping them with his own hands to steady the blond's trembling own ones.

“Hey hey hey- Shh..~ Bad dream?”, he asked in a hushed but concerned tone.

Sitting down on the edge of the soft mattress, Seth spread his arms. Offered a hug to his panicked partner. His jaw clenched. His heart sunk in his chest.

He understood that Aventurine didn't want to share everything with him, and he respected his decision. But it hurt to see him in so much pain that wasn't willing to have Seth share carrying the weight of the pain he was experiencing.

Aventurine was usually a stoic person, but the nightmares appeared to be slowly chipping away at his resolve.

He’d only confessed to Seth once how the dreams had changed, from childhood fears to more of a recurring, vivid one that was almost too painful to share. That hit too close to home.

Cerberus’ brows furrowed. A mask of concern replaced his usually either lazy grin or his slightly irritated expression.

He wasn't a man of many words. A firm believer of “actions spoke louder than words”. Which is why he didn't force Aventurine to tell him about his nightmares.

The Avgin accepted his partner's hug eventually. Crawled closer to wrap his body around the other's much bigger frame. The warmth he provided was soothing. The nightmare had left him freezing even though the room had a comfortable temperature.

As he was held close, he began to relax little by little. Let go of his worries. Seth was his safe haven, even if he didn't want to admit it.

Pulling the blond man in, the bodyguard also wrapped the blanket around him.

“Hope the holsters aren't in the way…”, he whispered to his boyfriend.

Seth leaned his head against his, gently rubbing his back.

Slowly, he felt Aventurine relax in his arms, his muscles losing more and more of the tension from before. Based on the shorter one’s response, the holsters didn't pose too much of a hindrance.

So, the two snuggled in silence for a while until the gambler spoke up again.

“It was a.. terrible dream”, he whispered.

His voice sounded weak and threatening to crack and break out into tears. His eyes closed as he continued to settle down. He didn't have the confidence to look up at his beloved protector and partner.

“A recurring one… One that I can't seem to shake off.”.

Pressing a gentle kiss to the other man’s temple, he pulled him even closer, onto his lap, intently listening in silence.

Whenever they sat like that, Seth realized just how small, how fragile Aventurine was in comparison to himself. That alone made the dual-hair-coloured man want to protect him even more. To hold him even more gently.

Feeling the blond nuzzle more into his chest, he buried his own face in the crook of his boyfriend's neck. Inhaled his sweet scent.

Seth still hadn’t lost any words for a good couple of minutes.

“Don't worry. I'm here to chase them off as often as you need me to. I swore an oath to protect you till the end of time, so I will come whenever you call my name.”.

His low, raspy voice rumbled against the blond's neck as he placed soft kisses along Aventurine's cheek, jaw, and neck to distract him. His stubble tickled his delicate skin.

His partner felt more vulnerable than ever, his body being propped into his arms like that.

He was already short compared to Seth, and the difference in size and stature made him almost feel like a child again.

That was okay, though. Because it reminded him he had someone strong and devoted to protect him now. Someone who kept him more or less sane in this insanity surrounding the IPC.

When his personal guard hound kissed him, he shivered at the touch of his lips. Shuffling up a bit higher as the kisses continued down his neck.

“Just… stay close to me, okay?”, he sighed, relaxing completely.

Seth's breathing was calm and slow, much like his heartbeat since realizing that his employer was not in danger.

He was a man of his word. Not even once did he let anyone touch his boyfriend. Giving a nod and a low grumble, he agreed.

“Want to lie down again or stay like this?”, he inquired.

His crimson eyes glanced up at the teal and purple ones of Aventurine. Those beautiful eyes he often got lost in.

His boyfriend thought about his question before replying with a small smile reminiscent of his usually so confident one: “I feel very comfortable in your arms. If you don't mind, I'd rather stay here a little longer.”.

His hands came up to rest on the taller man's chest, his lips curling upwards a tad more. After everything, He was still trembling slightly.

“You smell nice”, he murmured, his eyelids fluttering a bit.

With another nod, he accepted the other's decision.

“Fine with me” is what his smile meant.

Rubbing the blond's head, he glanced down at the hands on his chest before he planted another kiss on Aventurine's forehead.

“Thank you. I'm trying out that new perfume.”.

It seemed that it was something that suited his partner's taste. Even though Seth was nothing but his bodyguard in public, he did go for items he knew the shorter man would like to see on him.

“The perfume suits you”, Aventurine replied with an appreciative smile.

It smelled nice, almost like the cologne Cerberus occasionally wore when he took him to nice places.

The Stoneheart would never ask directly, but he knew that Seth bought those things solely for him - if he wasn't the one spoiling his beloved dog, showering him in them. There was no denying that Seth was good at taking care of what he loved.

“I love you”, Aventurine mumbled.

His words were soft and gentle as he pressed his cheek against the broad chest in front of him.

“Thanks, I was hoping you'd like it.”.

“I love you too”, he rasped, resting his head atop of his boyfriend's.

There was no doubt that his heart began to flutter in his chest whenever he snuggled up against him like that. A soft blush spread on his cheeks as he relaxed his pectoral so they'd be a more comfortable pillow despite the vest, tie, and dress shirt being in the way either way.

Leaning his head against the other male's, Seth seemed so mellow.

Out on the field, in sight of prying eyes, he always seemed so battle-hardy, cruel, cold, and emotionally distant.

Everybody who'd be told that this man, also known as 'Cerberus', was such an affectionate softie behind closed doors, they'd never believe it.

Aventurine sighed contently, his body pressed against Seth’s, burritoed in his arms. He felt content and safe in his embrace.

For a moment, he contemplated just falling asleep here, but the thought of missing out on spending quality time with his loved one deterred such a tempting idea.

His eyelids fluttered as his breathing became more relaxed, but his mind was still a little active.

“Seth?”

"Hmm?", he asked with a low rumble vibrating in his chest.

Glancing down, he couldn't see the other male's face regardless, but it helped him focus more on the blond. Seth was waiting patiently for the other to tell him what he needed.

Aventurine’s voice was soft and tender when he spoke, a pleasant contrast to his usual composed demeanor. A luxury only Seth was allowed to see. How vulnerable he was. How human. How delicate.

“Promise me you won’t ever leave my side, Seth. There’s so much of the world I’d like you to see. With me. You're the only reason why I haven't fully gone insane yet. Just promise me you’ll always be with me.”

Though it was a bit of a silly thing to ask someone who worked as his bodyguard, he couldn’t help but want to hear his answer.

Hearing Aventurine voice out those words made him chuckle softly, his shoulders trembling slightly.

Picking up the smaller man and setting him back down next to him on the bed, Seth slipped off the mattress. Kneeling in front of his boyfriend, he gently grasped his small, pale hands. Bringing them up to his face, Seth pressed a soft kiss to the back of his hands. As he gazed up, rubies gleaming softly in the dim lighting, he locked eyes with Aventurine.

“I pledge to never leave your side, to never let any harm befall you, to always be your spear and shield~ I shall guard you with my life, even if it's the last thing I do.”.

Aventurine’s heart skipped a beat as Seth kissed the back of his hands. Though he’d already promised to protect him, the gesture was as powerful as the words he spoke, if not more.

His lips pursed together slightly as his eyes met yours. He could tell this wasn’t just a simple promise.

It was a vow. A vow to protect and cherish him till death.

Even though Seth was no knight in shining armor, he'd still do anything in his power to protect the one he loved. Since he had accepted that people nicknamed him Cerberus, He could see what made them call him that in the first place. He viciously protected the blond, much like how the three-headed Hellhound was guarding the Gate of Hell.

Without warning, he pulled his bodyguard down and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. His heart was racing with each passing second.

Seth was caught off guard, something that was hard to achieve. But just a few seconds later, he cupped Aventurine's cheeks and returned the loving kiss.

The bodyguard was a loyal, fierce man, but there was a tender and affectionate side to him that not many people had the luxury of witnessing.

Aventurine kissed him passionately, not wanting to waste another second apart. He knew that he wanted to hold his boyfriend close all night, and it was exactly what he did as he pulled him down to the bed.

Seth’s strong arms enveloped him in a tight hug, pulled his lover on top of him, so he could settle down. Watching the exhaustion eventually win the siege against Aventurine's determination to spend some quality time with him.

Or in simpler terms, a soft smile played around his lips, much like the content one on the asleep blond's lips.

[skys813]

Discovery

Chapter 5 (Arc Finale)

Me: Before we start, is there anything you'd like to say, Anxiety?

Anxiety: *gives me a hard look and then looks away* No.

Me: I see. Let's begin, then. Over the past couple of weeks we've been struggling to deal with a new possibility. I'm aware that in every happy reality Research conjured for us we were in a romantic relationship with implied sexual undertones. The new possibility suggests that we don't find a romantic or sexual partner in the future. Up until now it's only been a vague suggestion, however, after further examination, I thought it would be best to bring it to the council's attention as a legitimate possible plan for the future.

Anxiety: I don't see why this is relevant given that Sexuality is obviously a lesbian. Haven't we been over this already?

Me: Actually, we haven't. That was a suggestion you made, not a fact of life. Which brings us to our first issue; determining Sexuality's true orientation. I'd like to bring some memories to the front if you don't mind. Let's start with a few questions I asked after I first learned what sex was. "Do I have to? Can I be married without doing it? Can I have kids without doing it?" Our first reaction was aversion. Of course, that's normal at the beginning, but those feelings never went away. Instead, it changed to reluctant acceptance that this is what would happen to us. The truth is that we never felt sexual attraction towards anyone, regardless of their gender. We knew instinctively we wouldn't like sex in any form, but we pushed the feeling down and convinced ourselves that it'd be fine and we'd just have to do this for love.

Love: Is that not true? The only lifelong bond that allows us to be as invested and dedicated as we wish to be is a romantic one. Friendship can be strong, but it's not the same, Sky. We would not be prioritized the same way, you can't expect that of someone. If they have a romantic relationship with someone else, they have to prioritize that person above you, regardless of how close you get. Only a romantic bond guarantees you that level of trust and faith in each other. The exclusivity.

Me: I understand and accept that we wouldn't always be prioritized above the person's romantic relationship, but the rest is simply not true. It's possible. Research, if you'd be a dear, and pull up the definitions of a Queerplatonic Relationship and a Zucchini.

Research: A Queerplatonic relationship is defined as "a committed relationship that is neither romantic nor sexual in nature but is based on an emotional bond beyond friendship, often between aromantic and/or asexual people" (AVEN, General FAQ, Definitions). "A zucchini is a partner in a queerplatonic relationship. The commitment level between partners is often considered to be similar to that of a romantic relationship, but with platonic love. Zucchinis may be of any romantic or sexual orientation" (AVENwiki).

Me: Thank you, darling. As you can see, it's entirely possible. In fact, it's so possible and has been felt and established by enough people that there are terms to describe the relationship we want. That's what we were looking for all these years, not some romantic relationship, much less a sexual one.

Anxiety: I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you've only proven sexuality is ace. Romance has been on board waiting for Prince to show up since day one. And we already agreed that Sexuality's orientation would be irrelevant to us in such a scenario as we would want him to be fully satisfied in the relationship.

Me: Romance hasn't actually been very vocal about her desires, she's been going along with whatever you and Research determined would be the best scenario. Again, let's pull up some memory files. First, there was her "crush," which she picked out for us much like one would pick out fruit at a stand, and is also a shared experience among other aromantics. We were never jealous of his relationship with our best friend or hurt by it, but instead helped them with arguments and were happy for them when they were happy. She shies away from any possible romantic partners under the guise of obeying our parents and religion when we all know full well we're stubborn and reckless enough that if we had ever desired such a relationship we would've acted on it by now. But we haven't.

Anxiety: Because no one has been worth the risk! We just haven't had the chance to meet the right person and it was never the right time before. We were too young.

Me: No one? When was the last time you saw Romance actually consider anyone as a potential partner?

Anxiety: That's because we're waiting for Prince, no one else is worth considering.

Me: That makes no sense and you know it. We can't find him if we never look. And Romance isn't interested enough to look in the first place. The fact of the matter is that she hasn't been active since we finally settled comfortably in our relationship. We might not use fancy terminology, but that's the nature of the bond we established with our best friend. The meaning we agreed upon for the relationship is the same as the one listed for queerplatonic relationships.

Anxiety: It's just too risky, it's irresponsible to put all your eggs in one basket like that. Friendships are fragile and fleeting-

Me: So is every other relationship. Friendships are not less than other bonds, they're equal and valid and they are what you make them. I believe in this one.

Anxiety: Fine. Don't listen to reason, whatever. But you might want to consider Love's needs and that certain aspects of our dreams would be off the table right off the bat if we went along with this madness, such as children and the home life we were so desperate to create one day. That's a dream you can't deny. You can't adopt children in a platonic relationship, so unless you plan on being a hypocrite and going out to have sex, praying not to catch an STD, and hoping to get pregnant that way, children would be completely off the table for us.

Me: First of all, it wouldn't be hypocritical, asexual people can have sex. But I do agree that that option is extremely unappealing all around. However, it wouldn't be as big a deal as you're making it out to be. Our motherly instincts can still be fulfilled if we add the found family element; we'd build a group of friends and mother them just like we used to. Love, how do you feel about that?

Love: I want children. We've always wanted children, I can't let go of that dream overnight. Mothering some friends isn't the same, I don't know if it'll be enough. I can agree to build new visions and scrap the old ones and incorporate Sexuality and Romance's identities, but you can't ever expect me to stop wanting children. I'm sorry.

Me: Don't be, it's who you are. Thank you for being so understanding. Research, what do you think?

Research: To be absolutely frank with you, I'm glad this is who we are. No husband to tie us down, fewer responsibilities, financial independence. It spells out a lot of opportunities to explore the world that we might not have had otherwise. And, no offense, Love, but children are expensive as hell. Our horizons just quadrupled without that financial and emotional burden. I vote yes.

*an awkward pause where Anxiety fumes on the side and refuses to say anything*

Me: .......Anxiety?

Anxiety: I'm the one who played the dreams. Are you happy now? You were right all along, and I was wrong. We're aro ace.

Me: I know.

Anxiety: *head snaps up* What?! You knew? How? And how long have you known? Why didn't you say anything?

Me: I think the meeting's done now, let's continue this privately. Love, Research, please act according to the council's decision and inform everyone of the verdict. Thank you. Anxiety, walk with me, darling.

Then.....

Sexuality blinks sleepy eyes open and looks around. Someone is by her bedside that she's only ever seen from afar. She tentatively lifts her hand and runs her fingers through Libido's hair. Her birthmate. What was she doing here? Libido stirs and murmurs something incoherent in her sleep before slowly opening her eyes to look back at Sexuality. Libido smiles softly.

Libido: You're finally awake. *jerks up frantically* Oh shit, you're awake! Oh my God, how're you feeling? Are you okay? Does anything hurt? Who do you want me to get for you? Do you want some water? Of course you want some water, what am I thinking-

Sexuality grabs Libido's sleeve as she makes to get up. Libido looks back, concerned and on the verge of panic. Sexuality shakes her head and tugs Libido back to her side.

Libido: Are you sure you don't want me to get you some food and water? You've been out of it for a while.

Sexuality shakes her head again and tugs Libido back down into her chair.

Libido: Okay, then. Um. Let's see, how do you usually communicate with Romance?

Sexuality: *gestures in sign language*

Libido: Oh, yeah, that makes sense. I don't know any signs though. Do you want me to get Research? They might be able to translate. Actually, they'll know what to do about all of this and what you need and-

Sexuality grabs and squeezes Libido's hand and she falls silent. Sexuality smiles briefly and shuts her eyes.

Libido: Oh. You're tired, yeah, that makes sense, too. Sorry about all that. Go back to sleep, sweetie. I'll notify the others when you're ready.

It was a while later before Libido realized that Sexuality had been fully aware and responsive during those few minutes without throwing up. On top of that, she'd made contact with Libido without any noticeable harm befalling her. Sexuality was, at long last, fully recovered.

Meanwhile.....

I walk with Anxiety down to his room. It resembles a library, but instead of books, there are notebooks, each and every one of them filled to the brim with scribbles and half-finished thoughts.

Anxiety: Welcome to my lair, oh annoying one. Have a seat.

Me: I think we need to discuss why you're so against us being aro ace.

Anxiety: I already made it very clear-

Me: The real reason, Anxiety.

Anxiety glowers at me for a few minutes. I don't look away and he finally backs down grudgingly.

Anxiety: *sigh* Do you remember what we were like when we were a kid? What we thought of ourself?

Me: How can I forget? I was the brattiest, most arrogant child I've ever had the displeasure of having to think about.

Anxiety: *shakes his head* I mean before Prince, specifically. We were in a low place and we had accepted that we would die old, bitter, and alone. I just don't want us to go back to that again. It was devastating enough the first time around for all of us. At least like this, it would've only hurt Sexuality and Romance.

Me: Anxiety, listen to me. We are not who we were five years ago. That vision of the future was built on self-hatred and hopelessness, that's why it looked like a doomsday vision. This time we're rebuilding to take care of ourself and every aspect of who we are. We don't have to sacrifice Sexuality and Romance to be happy. We can just build a future that makes all of us happy by accommodating them too. We would've never been happy if we'd tried to suppress them.

Anxiety: *shakes his head stubbornly* We can revert right back to where we were, not enough has changed, not nearly enough. I've just collected more reasons to hate ourself since then, there's no guarantee it won't happen.

Me: *eyes sharp, trying to casually scan the notebooks* There is one thing we could always do..... If you'd allow us, I mean.

Anxiety: *torn between hope and trepidation* Like what exactly?

Me: Burn them.

Anxiety: *stands up and positions himself between me and the nearest shelf* Get out. Get out right now!

Me: *stays seated calmly with my eyes fixed on his* Only the notebooks where you write all our faults. The memories would all stay intact. All your other notebooks would stay exactly where they are. I'm only suggesting we let go of the guilt. Those notebooks are as old as I am, cataloging every tiny mistake we've ever made, every embarrassing thing we've ever done, every regret. You're absolutely right, we can't move forward until we've let go of all of that. We have to move forward, Anxiety. The council has come to a decision. Something has to give or we really might revert back to what we were before.

Anxiety: Then we would've learned nothing! Do you want to repeat all the mistakes we've made?

Me: A gentle reminder that you're the reason we made some of the more serious mistakes.

Anxiety: Don't you think I know that? That's why I refuse to let go of them. If we never forget, if we never stop regretting them and feeling guilty for them, then we'll make up for it and we'll never do those things again.

Me: Darling, that's ridiculous. You do realize that you've written down things as small as chopping the wrong vegetable by accident at our job, right? And the serious errors in judgment are almost all from our childhood, from years ago. We've grown, we've changed, and we're past that now. We can't stay this way forever, hating ourselves for every tiny inconvenience we've ever caused anyone. Please, Anxiety, we have to burn those notebooks.

Anxiety: No. You don't understand. We can't! No! *clutches at his head and his breathing becomes shallow and rapid* I can't. You can't. I can't.

Me: Anxiety? *gets up slowly* Are you okay?

Anxiety: No! We can't! We'll never be good enough. We'll never be happy. You can't erase the past. We're horrible, can't you see that? So horrible. Horrible. Horrible!

I notice a smoky shape formed behind Anxiety, whispering in his ear and grinning at me. The time for conversation is over. I carefully sidestep Anxiety who is too wrapped up in his sobbing to notice my movement and try to punch at the shadow. My hand goes right through it. Right, then. Those notebooks need to burn. Now. I step behind them slowly. The creature turns to watch me but continues whispering to Anxiety. I reach for a random notebook to test out the waters. No reaction besides a widening smirk. Good. I quickly scan through the notebooks until I find the section I need before looking up again. The shadow is still, watching me with a contemplative frown while Anxiety drops to hug his knees and hide his face as he cries. I collect the notebooks loosely in my arms, carefully noting how tense the shadow is getting. It stands between me and the door. I had a feeling it would find a way to stop me if it wanted to, smoke or not. I edge my way back to the table and set the notebooks down. The creature relaxes. I sit down and pretended to start reading one. After a few moments, it loses interest in me and goes back to tormenting Anxiety. It starts to whisper faster, progressively more aggressive. When it looks to be distracted enough, I grab the notebooks and run. I hear a shriek of anger not long after but it doesn't follow me. I run and run until I reach the common room and dump the notebooks on the floor.

Me: Research, get over here! I need lighter fuel! Love, if you could grab a lighter for me, that'd be great! Now!

They get up from the couch without a word and go about getting the requested items as I start tearing the notebooks apart. By the time they get back, I've torn haphazardly through the notebooks and stacked them in a hollow pyramid shape. Research douses them all and I give Love a handful of paper to light before I carefully place them under the rest and watch the fire spread. Anxiety rushes into the room with a much-faded version of the shadow I'd seen behind him, but by then even the topmost of the pyramid had caught fire. The creature shrieks and Anxiety faints into Research's arms.

Research: *sighs* I should've known something like this would happen. I'll take him to the infirmary.

Love: What just happened? Who's Research taking to the infirmary and what did we just set on fire?

Me: Don't worry, Love, everything's going to be okay now. C'mon, let's sit down and I'll tell you everything.

Then.....

Romance jerks awake gasping and clutching at her neck and chest and starts coughing. Sensuality rushes into her room and gives her a crushing hug.

Sensuality: You're alive! You're awake! Oh thank God, I won't be left with just Aesthetic for company!

Aesthetic: Hey! I can hear you, you know. And good grief, get off her before you really kill her. Welcome back, Romance. How're you feeling?

Romance: *gestures for water*

Sensuality: I got you, just a second. *runs out of the room*

Aesthetic: *hands Romance her board and marker* Figured you'd have a lot to say after being out of it for so long. Wanna elaborate on the whole "help Anxiety" message you left? Cause it really didn't help, for the record. What'd you want us to do, tie you and Sexuality up and dump you in the basement for him?

Romance rolls her eyes as Sensuality comes back in and accepts a glass of water with a quick nod of thanks. She downs the whole glass in three giant gulps and sets it down before relaxing back against her pillows a bit. She starts writing.

You're both idiots, for the record. I bet you didn't even try to figure out what I meant, just sat around worrying as usual. It's alright, someone must've figured it out since I'm awake now. We'll all hear the story in detail, I'm sure. Right now, though, I'd much rather discuss Sexuality. Is she okay?

Sensuality: Well......I mean, she's definitely safe now, we made sure of it, right Aesthetic?

Aesthetic: *nods her head with a smile* Don't worry, Romance, we took care of our little sister. She's safe.

Romance: *relaxes a bit more*

Good. At least you did something right. Who's guarding her? Libido, right?

Sensuality: *shocked* Yeah, actually, how'd you know? I thought you'd be upset.

Romance: *smiles* *writes*

They were never meant to be apart. They're different, but they're still birthmates. You know how strong that bond is. They'll figure it out. They just need time. We all do.