#okay i hear it now; i legit didn't first time watching damn

[oh-my-may]

I finally got around to play Cosmo Canyon! Took me a while to get there bc family stuff and i was feeling a bit under the weather some days, but today I'll finish the protorelic quest and then do the side quests and that was it for Cosmo Canyon...

Thoughts on story: RED (or should I say Nanaki?) IS SO CUTE LEGIT A TEENAGE BOY TRYING TO PASS AS AN ADULT MAN the way I was hollering. The city is beautiful and very huge... Felt very overwhelmed when I first got there. Generally loved the focus on Red, had lots of questions about him originally. Now I wonder how old his kind can get if he's like 15 in human years but actually 48... huh. The story with his parents is pretty basic i guess? Didn't really blow me away, i could see the turning point coming from a mile away but it was very sweet nonetheless. Really enjoyed the gameplay during the trial, the Gi enemies WERE SO COOL. Also loved that we could scale walls with Red, I wish we could do that in the open world... The final boss almost kicked my ass because I'm not used to playing Barrett and Red actively, BUT THEY SLAYED. Shoutout to Titan, homeboy always comes through for me. Also couldn't help but be reminded of Genshin's Misty Dungeon event during the trial. And the mines of Moria. My weird interests meet in the most unusual of circumstances sometimes. My brain does that occasionally.

Also, the Gi Nantaak first scared the shit out of me. Then he kinda reminded me of Vision (you know, from Marvel) but that also wore off. The random sequence with Zack almost made me cry again. Whenever I see him on screen something just urges me to. Him and Biggs also looked so damn good during that entire scene I took so many screenshots 😭 I'm still so confused tho... Biggs ended up in Zack's timeline because of the Whispers/ the Wind for whatever reason? Really have no clue where they're going to take this part of the story, I just know it's going to hurt me so bad in the end.

I also let out an audible ' Hear me out' when they showed Seto... I'm not sorry.

On the exploration side of things... The flying chocobos are so confusing to me, I started the chocobo quest right as I landed in Cosmo Canyon and I immediately failed the first part because the controls as you fly are just??? Therefore everything that was placed so that you could only reach it through flying was a bit of a pain at first. I figured it out eventually, but i still haven't continued that quest... Also saw a bunch of people complain about this so at least I'm not the only one struggling lol.

Everything Else was very enjoyable tho. Go to explore team was Cloud, Aerith and Cait Sith this time and I gotta say Cait's Moogle Magic skill is busted I was so surprised when a full ass Ifrit suddenly stood on the field 😭 Bahamut Arisen was a surprisingly quick clear after I got all the Intel, Tifa just died in like the last minute. A worthy sacrifice tho. Immediately tried Bahamut while beating the Jabberwock, huge Dragon Battle was crazy insane to watch. He's busted. Put him on Cait for now.

I haven't finished the protorelic quest yet, but I didn't expect it to have this much lore right from the get go... So you're telling me Wedge is dead in Cloud's timeline???? Just like that?? The whispers killed him? MY BOY. Also Yuffie's friends (?) - the NPC's for that quest - immediately reminded me of Bella's High School friends in Twilight 😭💀 They just look like they belong in these movies idk

Now I wonder if the last two parts of the protorelic quest are gonna be as much a pain in the ass as Fort Condor was... I managed to clear the first two stages quite quickly so I hope it's gonna be okay with the AI helping me for the configuration part...

So that's that! Will definitely finish Cosmo Canyon tonight and then maybe start Chapter 11... Just a few more steps until meeting Vincent. Heard Chapter 11 was quite long so it'll probably take me the whole weekend to finish next to work and all. My goal of finising this game before easter is probably gonna be left unfulfilled... But I'd rather take my time.

Will add screenshots to this post after I get home from work!

[goodstuffexe]

I gotta gather my thoughts after the first watch of season 4 omg !!SPOILERS!!

First and foremost I don't think this season was bad at all but I do think that it indeed could be better and doesn't quite hold up with seasons 1-3. I recently rewatched (and with recently I mean the days before thursday) the previous seasons and oh my I really forgot how much I loved them and OH how good the pacing was in season 1 and 2 especially.

For example I got the feeling that 4x01 to 4x03 kinda dragged on and made the impression they want to delay the main plot for as long as possible. (What could be explained by the fact that they have 3 whole seasons to fill still) While the first 3 1/2 episodes of season 1 play out during one whole day and you don't even notice it. Kinda a bad example tho since it is the beginning of the series soo another good example would be the first two episodes of season 2 which handled continuity of the plot and problems our babies still needed to solve on the way SO good while also staying at the Moon Nexus and goofin' around for almost 2 whole episodes.

Buuut I'm definitely gonna rewatch this season because I binged it on thursday quite harshly and that's usually a bad idea and not the way I like to watch my shows lol. I just missed them soo much o.O

Okay now with that out of the way..

OH MY GOD RAYLA, my poor children.. So much sadness :( Okay I understand that Callum and Rayla indeed had no time to talk and A he didn't want to (which is legit and def understandable) and B they had more important things to talk about but I'm SO dissapointed that not one of them asked what Rayla did in this 2 years?!? Like huh?! Not even Ezran. I'm so baffled about this it blows my mind. Did she went to see Ethari at some point? (I don't think so because she said when she gave her blades to Rex that she thinks she's not going to see Runaan or Ethari ever again soo) Did she travel the whole of Xadia all on her own until she found Stella and just came to the realization that she wants to go back and stop her search out of the blue?? What the fuck happend in two years that's a damn long time gurl

I LOVED Ezrans speech and the song played by Corvus. So powerful while Claudia and Ibis fight to the death omg very epic

Aaravos straight up possesing Callum through the heckin mirror OMG and the dragons needing to beat him at his own game because he's too strong and they couldn't risk a direct confrontation aah

Makes me wonder if he is going to be a flat evil villain like the Fire lord 🥴 now that Viren has half a redemption arc lmao

OH Viren omg that realization about how he wants to spend his remaining 30 days with what he has left aka Claudia was so natural in my opinion after seeing him having a full on panic attack and being afraid of heights after falling to his death. It was out of character buut still kindaaaa maybeee felt more believable than Callum and Raylas meeting uhmm

I said it it was realllyy awkward and not the 'normal' kind of awkward it just wasn't very... it was not the way I expected them to react I'm surprised Callum actually kept his shit quite good together and Raylas lacking apology and her reaction also felt rly out of place. Tho I think she will find some words, some better words than just sorry, next season. And I hope we will hear from her what she did and where she went and she hopefully reflects on what she did and why she went away and how she hurt Callums feelings badly and aaaAAAAAH

Terry is a pure baby

He's also quite sus

Did you hear how he called Viren legendary!? What the heck is wrong with this boys morals? Calling someone who brought down the capitol of the sunfire elves, killed their queen and almost raged a huge war on all of Xadia legendary? I love how he talks with Viren about his childhood and I rly like how Viren himself starts to listen to him more seriously but I'm concerned about this little elf :(

Did you notice that the human girl who revealed Aaravos' treason has only one arm? Quite the detail but I thought it was nice tdp goes every extra mile for representation

I LOVED the conflict in Lux Aurea between Janai and her brother. Best subplot this season. How they talked about their people worrying and then they showed us an actual conflict and the consequences it brings and how Janai deals with it in her own and a modern way. I love that they take their time and give reasons behind the actions of the characters and how they continue to make the world feel more alive by showing us how humans and elves manage to get along with each other. Janai's brother (sry forgot his name) portrays that typical traditional worldview and I love how it stands in contrast with Janai who takes on being queen, a role which she didn't even want to have, with a fresh and open mindset influenced by the humans they now live with. Hehe influenced by Amaya hehe *blushes*

I also love the symbolism of the sun seed as a new start a beginning of an era in unity *cries*

The only problem I have with this is, that no matter what, if Janai's brother would have won the duel between him and his sister, he also couldn't bring back their old capital city, which he used as a reason at some point. And if he could he would have tried surely by now? Or is that just me?

Seeing the gap widen between Soren and Claudia BrEAks mY HeArT but it also feels very believable the way they interacted when Soren found and briefly captured her. Claudias villain arc is certainly undeniable and it makes me sad :(

OH AND SOREN!! Ah the best boi (ofc next to Callum my dork and Ezran being the most reasonable -now SO grown up O.O- best boi heh) he really shines this season in my opinion with some nice jokes as always but also with being a great friend and protector of the king. I love how he tells Rayla how Callum felt when she left him. He has indeed made the jump from "only" being the funny and strong goofball with the evil dad to the lovable and just friend who does everything in his way to protect and help the people he loves and it makes me SO happy omg.

Someone thought the others don't appreciate him enough for what he does and I gotta agree a bit. The look on his face when Zubeia appreciated his moves aah he was so proud x). But they were very worried about him when they found his armor, so yeah I guess more interactions with the boys pls \ o.o /

Sooo these are *most* of my thoughts I think for now. Correct me if I got something wrong- it was a wild watching session. Ofc I'm very much loving Rayllum smiling at and hugging each other after 2 years being apart :') and I'm very excited which direction the story will take. I'm now gonna rewatch the season and go cry some more about it yaay

I HOPE THEY DON'T TAKE 3 YEARS TILL THE NEXT SEASON AGAIN

[pretoriafics]

Teenage Dream Pt. 2 (Interactive story)

Man! I think this one is the most amazing thing I'd ever written! I'll request from all of you guys special attention at the end of this chapter. I'll let you a message, and I'm pretty sure you will love it!

Derek took you to his loft. While you are alone, you start to understand the environment you were now part of. Word count: 2.056 Pairings: Different Dimension!Reader x Derek; Different Dimension!Reader x Platonic!Laura; Different Dimension!Reader x Platonic!Cora; Different Dimension!Reader x Platonic!Talia Contain: It’s pretty fun; AU Warnings: English is not my main language <3 PART 1 ALTERNATIVE VERSION TEEN WOLF MASTERLIST

You finally entered Derek's loft. Oh, man... It was just like in the tv show!

You enter the loft just like if you had entered paradise. With your mouth opened in pure fascination, you swirl around your feet while looking around. Derek came just behind you with arch eyebrows. It would be funny if it doesn't be scary.

"Oh. My. Godness. Is it here that all the pack meetings are made?"

Derek didn't reply to you. Instead of it, he just stares at you. He gives a few steps forward, getting closer to you.

"What's your name?"

You swallowed hard. Derek was with his usual cold expression, arms crossed in front of his chest, and no patience for bullshit.

"(Y/N) (Y/L/N)."

"Good. Look (Y/N) (Y/L/N), you will stay right here. You will not get out, you will not call anyone, or speak with anyone. If you run away from here, I'll kill you faster than you could say to me what happens at season one. Did I made things clear to you?" Shrunken in fear, you just nod, and Derek narrows his eyes to you. "Okay. I need to see someone that you probably know, so-"

"Braeden? Jennifer? Deaton?"

Derek sounds confused to hear the first two names. So, you simply thought that he didn't meet them yet.

"Not of your business."

He gives his back to you, walking out of his loft and closing the door, locking you there. And, wow, you have Derek's loft all for you! Oh man, it just like on the fanfics!

Well, you were curious and excited as hell. Your first thought was something pretty plausible: You used to watch Teen Wolf when you were a teenager. So, being inside the series was just like time-traveling. Smartphones aren't a thing yet, and Dua Lipa music still unknown. As a way to test this theory, you walk in the radio's direction and turn it on. The music that started to fill the room was Friday by Rebecca Black. Yeah, you remind that song, and you instantly felt nostalgic. But it could be just random music on the radio, right?

You switched the radio station, and then Party Rock Anthem By LMFAO starts to play. Well, another song of 2011... But you aren't so sure yet, so you switch the radio station one last time. You almost fell on your back when Domino by Jessie J fills the room. You took a confirmation that yeah, you were back in the 2011's. You are probably during the events of season one.

Well, Scott has just been bit by Peter, Derek just came back from town, and... You are now in the middle of all of that.

"Oh, man!"

You can't do anything for a while. So, all you could do is wait for Derek and whatever he was doing now. You look around while Jessie J sings on the radio, giving you a few nostalgic feelings. Well, you would take a relaxing bath. There's just one problem: All the clothes you have is the one you're wearing now. Without giving a damn, you walk to Derek's wardrobe direction.

"I'm sorry sour wolf, but I'll borrow a few clothes of yours." You open it and take a black shirt. Man, you felt thrilled! "Jeez, this is so like the fanfics!"

You go to the bathroom's direction, taking off your kitten pajama, and putting yourself under the hot water of the shower. Man, Rude Boy by Rihanna starts to play on the radio. You couldn't contain a laugh. It was funny because you were taking a shower and would wear clothes from a legit rude boy.

And, well, you started to sing. It was everything really nice for a few minutes: You were wearing Derek's shirt, listening to a few old pieces of music, and, now, you were in his kitchen making a sandwich.

When you sat on Derek's bed, with your wet hair and your sandwich, Starstrukk by 3OH!3 and Katy Perry started to play. Yeah, that time alone was being nice! You move your body in the music's rhythm while bites your sandwich, still sat on the mattress. You should enjoy that peace while it lasts!

The sandwich was cool, the music either... But you realized that, now, you had a golden chance that every fan would die to have: You are alone in Derek's flat. What kind of things he hides there?

After finishing your sandwich, you look around. You stand up from the mattress and walk around the loft. Getting upstairs, you could find some supernatural books, some weird things that you thought could be some magic stuff, and his laptop. Oh, man! What else hides in his internet searches?

You hold yourself, trying to decide if you should snoop his history on the internet or if you should see what he hides on his bedside table drawer.

When you go downstairs, Animal by Neon Trees fills your ears. You run to Derek's bedside table and opens his drawer. You found his cell phone charger, as well as the laptop one, a coin with a triskelion and... tons of condoms.

Your eyes got widen. This is definitely the kind of thing the TV show hasn't expose.

Also, you noticed Derek's loft needed some... cleaning.

Bored as never before, you walked to the kitchen searching for some cleaning stuff. You found some on a cabinet: A mop and a few other products. Oh, perfect! You took them and, soon, you were sliding the mop through the flat while sings Animal. The flat smells like lavender now, and the floor is so clean that you are proud.

You heard Magic by Rivers Cuomo and B.o.B on the radio, and you sing with the music reminding the parties at your friend's house after school. Suddenly, the door finally opens, and you heard Derek's voice.

"...She's not lying, and I need to know if you already saw something like that before."

You froze with the mop on your hand when you saw Derek. He froze as well. It was understandable: A complete stranger is cleaning his flat and wearing his clothes.

"...Oh, hi! I've borrowed your shirt."

Then, a female voice came behind him.

"There are tons of things that could cause this kind of thing. We need to investigate."

Talia Hale came after his son, as well as Laura and Cora. They also froze with the scene of you wearing Derek's clothes and cleaning his loft. You? Well, your eyes almost had pulled out of your face when you saw them. Talia inhales the air to her lungs, clearly smelling the air.

"Are this... Lavender?"

"Yeah, it is." Laura replied her mom, looking at Derek after that "I think lavender suits you. It's perfect for your flat. It is really your thing, Derek."

You were so confused! What are they doing there? Your chin fell, letting your mouth opened in pure disbelief. Derek rolled his eyes at Laura before look at you again.

"...She'll freak out."

"Oh. My. Gosh. Oh my gosh!!" The mop fell on the floor, and you ran through Talia, Cora, and Laura's direction. "What the hell are you doing here?!"

The Hale women look at each other, and Cora looks at you.

"Well, mom came here to help Derek with, uh, you. And I guess you already know us."

"You shouldn't be here!" You stare at Cora "You should be in South America! And both of you" You stare at Talia and Laura "I can't even talk about you two! Jeez!"

You put your hands on your head, with your mind blowing while the Hale family enters into the loft. Derek turns off the radio before staring at you again.

"I thought you were used to seeing me with them."

You stare at him, with your eyes widen. Your mind was full of theories already.

"Derek, you are definitely not understanding what is happening here. Your family shouldn't be here."

He arches his eyebrows, noticing there's something pretty wrong here.

"What do you mean?"

"Look" You approach them, looking at everyone "I'll do just one question: Did your house was burned some years ago?"

They look at each other, with the engines on their head trying to work. Talia stares at you.

"Yeah, but we had fortunately escaped."

"How about your brother?"

"Peter was the only one that hasn't managed to."

Oh, man... That means one thing. Scared as hell, you sat on the mattress. Derek started to feel anxious and approaches you.

"What's happening?"

You breathe in, staring at the family.

"It shouldn't happen. At the TV show, Talia dies at the fire. Cora ran to South America, Peter got burnt and goes to a clinic, Laura turns herself into alpha, and she stays with Derek. It means that I'm not on the TV Show. I'm inside a fanfic."

Oh, man... It means, basically, that you even haven't so sure about what will happens next. If you were inside the TV Show, you could predict the future. You couldn't do it if you were inside a fanfic.

While you were in complete shock, Talia looks at her family.

"Well... I'll search the most plausible theory of (Y/N)'s arrival. I think we can start looking for some witches near. It can be some work from a coven."

While the Hale family talks about you, you still sat on the mattress, thinking about what the heck was going on. Well, what kind of fanfic did you got into? Was It an insert-reader one, or was It just a common one? Are you the protagonist?

You would test your theory, and you would do it right now.

Knowing the opportunity was just right there, you ran through the flat's door. However, Derek notices your escaping.

"She's running away!"

A mess quickly takes form inside Derek's loft: His announcement made all the Hale run after you, trying to avoid your escaping. They don't know anything about you yet. It could be dangerous to have you simply walking around Beacon Hills.

Fast, you ran through the building until you go outside. A storm quickly takes form, and heavy rain starts to fell from the skies. To everyone's surprise, you stopped in the middle of the asphalt, looking at the sky.

"Hey!" You yelled to something up there "I want a sign! Hey, writer! Readers! Anyone! Am I inside of a fanfic? Answer me! Send me a clue, anything!"

A thunder lightens the skies, and you fell on your knees with a lack of a clue that could help you to find out what was going on. Then, you felt a hand grab your arm.

"Enough, weirdo." Laura said, holding you while the Hale family surrounds you to keep you from running away "You'll stay inside the loft."

With all the last hopes of yours, you look up from the skies. The rainwater runs through your body while you wait. You just want a sign! A clue!

Then, you thought you had seen something. Laura pushes you, making you stand up from the asphalt. And when she was started to drag you to the loft again, you saw something falling from the sky. Derek saw it too.

"Laura, wait."

Everyone looks up, noticing what the heck was that: It was a post-it paper falling from the skies in your direction. When it came close enough, you took it.

Man... When you read it, your face became pale as a candle, and you simply pass out on Laura's arms. Caught by surprise, Laura holds you while everyone runs in your direction. Cora took the post-it paper from your hand and, when she read it, she stares at her family completely incredulous.

"What?" Derek looks at her, in urgency to know what was that. Cora swallowed hard, starting to read the post-it paper out loud.

"Here says: Author's note: Yeah, you are inside a fanfic. Author's note two: Your story has just started, girl."

Yeah, for sure, the Hale family stares at each other in complete shock. Of course, they weren't expecting that your call for a sign would be replied to. Especially by me, the author of your story! Ha! And honestly? I'll think carefully if I'll help you during your journey inside your favorite TV Show, because, honestly? I'll not let things easy for you.

FINAL AUTHOR'S NOTE Here's the thing about this series: I'm the author mentioned at the end of this chapter, y'all are the readers mentioned in the story AND the (Y/N) of this story. Consider that the (Y/N) is the "you" from a different dimension, okay? Why should you consider this: Because you all can communicate themselves with the (Y/N) of that story! At every ending of the chapter, I'll request you to send me something to help the (Y/N) inside the story. You will send it through my ask, right here. Well, the (Y/N) has requested to the readers sent her a sign that she is really inside of a fanfic. Send me your clue for (Y/N) through my ask, and I'll put it on the next chapter to makes her freaking out.

I'll be waiting for y'all!

[i-may-be-stupit]

Shigaraki x Silly!Reader

As usual, this is rather gender-neutral and the horny got me because I fukn love Shiggy 🥵😍 but yeah, enjoy!

You typed up a report of the latest incident between Endeavor and the league of Villains. Well, actually, you were just editing your boss's writing. She was a journalist and you were her assistant. You rolled your eyes, reading through it and fixing any grammar mistakes or typos you came across. Why the hell is she making Endeavor seem so god damn perfect? I mean, when you first met him, you told the guy a joke and he hasn't stopped glaring at you ever since. You rolled your eyes at just the thought of that fuck-faced jackass.

Not only were you the editor, but you were also the secretary in the news office building which is a whole different job as it is. You blew a bubble from your gum and turned your music in your earbuds up a bit more, since the day was going slow. Yeah, there'd be a scoop here and there but not a lot.

You looked up to see a guy with red eyes and a black hoodie grinning evily while saying stuff to you. You just stared at him until he finished talking. He looked at you and you looked at him. You spat your gum in a tissue then took out your earbuds. You smiled softly at the man. "I'm sorry, you said you wanted a visitors' pass?"

The man looked at you with a blank stare at first. "You didn't hear anything I just said?" You shook your head. He frowned and tilted his head in annoyance, "I was talking for like 3 minutes straight." You just blinked. "I just explained my whole reasoning for kidnapping you for information on Endeavor."

You smiled at him, "Im sorry sir, I'm just the secretary, but the information desk is on floor three, just take that elevator to the right and-"

"What the fuck, bitch?!" He opened his arms wide in anger, "Do you not recognize me from the news?!"

You put a finger on your chin and tapped it in thought for a moment, before clicking your tongue and snapping your finger, "Ah, you must be a pro hero or something!" His jaw dropped. "Wow, no wonder youre so handsome!" You took the bottle of lotion out of your desk's drawer and offered him some. "If you're going on an interview you could use some of this though!" He glared at you before snapping his fingers, and thats when you found out who he is.

The entire League of villains showed up and your eyes widened in fear. The man known as Shigaraki Tomura laughed harshly with a gleam in his eyes, "Recognize me yet, (Y/N) (L/N)?!"

You stared at him again in fear. You then snorted, "Hank the handy man?" And thats when he lunged at you, only for Shigaraki to fall into one of Kurogiri's portals. You laughed with tears in your eyes as the burnt up goth boy snickered. Kurogiri elbowed Dabi and Dabi wiped away a bloody tear in his own eye as he held your arms behind your back.

Dabi chuckled quietly in your ear a small, "You gotta teach me some insults if you live." And you snorted as you consentualy walked into a portal, not even mad at being kidnapped.

You were in what seemed to be a lounge area, seated on a chair with your arms handcuffed to the back of you. You looked around, innocently smiling, "Wowie, nice place you guys got here!" Spinner looked at Dabi confused as you started humming. "So, uh, whatcha need me for?"

Mange spoke up, "Wait, how are you so calm about this?"

You chuckled, "Hey, this chair is comfy, I'm off from work now, and I got to see a cute guy up-close and personal!"

Dabi looked at you with a straight face. "No thank you."

You rose an eyebrow at him, "Dont flatter yourself, Rat, I'm talking about the one that tried to kill me." Shigaraki walked into the room, slightly pissed off as Kurogiri rubbed his back. "There he is! The handsome one!"

Shigaraki glared at you. "Don't patronize me." You were about to speak, but he cut you off before even getting the chance, "You're working with Yuki Ino, the Journalist who's been interviewing pro heros, including Endeavor." You nodded, not understanding if that was supposed to be taken as a question or not. "Tell me everything about what's happened to All Might, why he retired, and how to end Endeavor, including the Pro-heros' plans to take down my organization."

You stared at him for a good minute before sneezing, "Sorry, what did you say? I disasociated."

Shigaraki twitched before scratching his neck violently. "What do you know about the number 1 pro hero?!"

"What?!" You looked at him in utter confusion. "I cant even remember what I had for breakfast, how the fuck do you expect me to remember anything about Enslaver?"

The red eyed male scratched his neck faster. "Endeavor."

You looked in even more confusion, "What the fuck is that?"

Shigaraki pulled you by your shirt closer to him in pure anger, "His hero name! Its Endeavor, not Enslaver!"

You blushed and fluttered your lashes, "Wow, the way your crimson gems glisten even in such dim lighting is so mesmerizing..." You puckered your lips and moved forward, but Shigaraki just let go of your shirt in utter disgust.

"I dont speak Wattpad."

You smiled at him happily, "I mean, I know that I should be scared because you're hella intimidating, but geez louis, your eyes are pretty! If you don't end up killing me can I be your boo thang?" You grinned and thats when he lunged at wwnnaqqa again, only for Kurogiri to put himself in front of you, again, so Shigaraki just fell into his portal, again.

Kurogiri just quietly mumbled out a small, "Lets take a break." Before going to the bar and throwing back a shot of some alcohol.

Later:

Shigaraki crossed his arms in front of the League with you in another room. "She was trying to seduce me like a slut to get out of death! Playing with my emotions?! Like I'm an ,idiot?! How dare she?!"

rtserrr

Dabi sat back, watching as Toga practiced her knife throwing on Twice. The burt man shrugged nonchalauntly, "She seemed legit to me."

Toga and Twice both nodded with a little, "Mhm," as Toga threw a knife at an apple on Twice's head.

Shigaraki just frowned. "Have you people seen me?" They all stopped what they were doing, looked at their boss and then put their hands up to their faces while cringing.

Kurogiri walked in, dragging you in a chair behind him. He placed you right in front of Shigaraki and you smiled awkwardly at him, "Sorry if i made you feel uncomfortable, Mister Shigaraki, I just can't help myself when I see a cute guy like you, though!" You giggled and shrugged as Twice awed at the nonexistent budding romance.

Shigaraki looked at you with disgust and concern. "You seriously think that I'm cute?"

You tilted your head cutely with a small smile"That's why I asked you out, what the hell?" You chuckled softly and Shigaraki blushed with a frown as he stared at you.

He scratched at his neck, took a shot of alcohol and sighed. "Just tell me everything you know about Endavor, okay?"

You frowned deeply with a small groan, "Ugh! He's kinda a asshole! I told him "Good morning, Teletubby Sun" and he just glarred really hard at me!" You frowned and pouted before mumbling out a small, "I mean, it was just a joke..."

Shigaraki pinched the bridge of his nose in utter frustration while Dabi fucking died of laughter in the background, "Anything actually important?"

You furrowed your eyebrows, "Hey! That's totally important!"

A weak, hourse, "it is!" came from Dabi and you grinned.

"See, he gets it!"

He glared daggers into you and got closer to your face. "Do you not understand the danger you're in?" He snarled. "I can kill you right now if you dont submit."

You poked your lips out jokingly before giggling out, "I get it, but who's to say I don't wanna die?" You winked at him.

Shigaraki stared at you calmly, not leaving your goofy grin. "Everyone out of the room. Now." And everyone did as they were told and left, all praying for you.

Shigaraki silently cut your restraints and you started rubbing your wrists while smiling, "Thank you! You know, that was starting to hurt-"

He grabbed you by your hair and flung you onto the floor. The wind was knocked out of you and to make matters worse, he placed a foot on your chest, glarring down at you. "This isn't a game, you stupid fucking cunt." Shigaraki laughed darkly, seeing your jokester smile twist into a horrified grit as you struggled to breath. "I mean, are you dumb or something?! Your worthless life is on the line and you really couldn't care less?! "His hands covered his mouth, holding back another laugh, though you could hear it in his voice, "You're so fucking pathetic, I don't even feel like wasting my time killing you~!" He pushed his foot down harder.

You gasped for air, clawing at his foot to pry it off. "S-Shigaraki, sir-" A crack was echoed as he pushed his foot down harder on your now broken sternum. You scream out as tears fell from your face from the pain, "Please, p-please remove your f-foot..."

Shigaraki only laughed harder, cupping a hand over his cheek, ring finger raised, "Oh all of a sudden you care about your life, huh?" He straddled you, pinning you down with your wrists in one hand, and your neck in his other. "You think you can just flirt with me like the little slut you are and get off Scott free, huh?" You choked and Shigaraki drew closer to your ear, "Where's that attitude gone now, huh? Oh, can you not speak anymore? Tell me, please, how many dicks have you taken already. How the hell did you get a job," his face scrunched up in fury, "at a god damn Hero News agency without knowing shit about any heros, huh?! You probably slept with everyone there. Didnt you? Flirting with them to get what you want just like with me?"

Your face was hot and you were crying and choking at his words and actions, "N-No! That's not-" you gasped hard, unable to breath properly, "not me at all!"

Shigaraki loosened his grip on your neck. He glarred deep into your soul. "Then why the hell were you flirting with me back there? I'm not dumb, (Y/N), I'm a very fucking capable man!"

You smiled awkwardly, thankful that you could breath a little better. "I just think you're HANDsome!" Shigaraki's cheeks tinted pink as he glared at you. He let his grip go completely as you choked and coughed before looking up with a smile, "And this position... w-with you on top of me is really lewd, so can you maybe..." You trailed off as he just stared harder at you.

Shigaraki blinked, expressionless. "I'm pinning you down on the verge of killing you and the only think you can think of is getting fucked by me?" You looked away, struggling a bit with the feeling of awkwardness and arousal. He smirked, feeling your neck get hotter. "You really are a little fucking whore aren't you?" And with that, he softly kissed your lips.

Your face went hot as you looked up at him. "What was that for?" He kissed you again, this time longer. "S-shigaraki..." You pouted and looked away. "Theres something I should tell you..."

"Hm?" He tilted his head with a smirk, waiting for you to tell him that you're still a virgin.

"You shouldve taken my lotion earlier." You laughed out and he started choking you again. "Joking- J- Joking!" Shigaraki glarred down at you before tongue kissing you much more rough. You moaned as it thrashed against your tongue, saliva dripping out the side of your mouth. Shigaraki bit your lip softly before dragging his tongue down your chin and onto your neck. He licked and sucked on it as you bit your bottom lip. Tomura came back up and tongue kissed you for only a second before grabbing your shirt with all five fingers. You gasped and covered up your bra. "H-Hey! Gentlemen ask for permission first!" You frowned and he just grabbed you by your jaw.

He mocked you with a fake pouty voice, "Oh, that's my bad for not being a fucking gentleman. Can I pwease fuck you??" Tomura rolled his eyes, "Now shut the fuck up and let me suck on your nipples." Shigaraki's mouth immediately locked with your left nipple as his fingers played with your right. He laughed, hearing you softly mumble his name. His mouth left your chest with a small pop and he looked down at you with a smirk, "Dont be shy saying my name, (Y/N); I'm gonna need you to get used to screaming it anyways." And with that, he licked his lips then placed his tongue on your torso, dragging it all the way down to your work pants.

He decenigrated your pants and underwear happily. Shigaraki brought his face to your slit and took a hard lick, a finger shoving itself inside of your tight hole. You moaned loudly, confused. "Tomura, a warning next time!?" He just pumped his finger inside of you slowly as his tongue played with your privates. You moaned while holding his head down on you, your fingers twisted in his hair, as he sucked you off like a cherry. You panted heavily and he stuck another finger in you. Shigaraki then lifted his head off you.

"I'd warn you that time, but you're kind of suffocating me, so maybe, don't fucking push down so hard!" You frowned and just pushed his head back in between your thighs. He kissed and licked more, groaning whenever you'd thrust into his mouth deeper. Shigaraki chuckled at how you'd only get quiet when hes making you moan.

You shivered and groaned, coming closer and closer to your climax. Shigaraki noticed and immediately pulled off of you. He wipped his mouth with the back of his hand and grabbed you by the hair. "Alright, slut, you've had your fun." He pulled you towards him and you fell on the floor, right in front of his groin. Tomura sat, grinned down at you with one leg up, "You gonna just stare or are you sucking me off?"

You rolled your eyes before pulling his pants and boxers down. Oh wow, you were not expecting this... You put a hand over your mouth and blushed hard. He was only semi hard and already a good 8 inches, what the hell?? It was thin, but long, kind of like the rest of him.

Shigaraki frowned down at you, blushing hard, "What? Is something wrong with it?? I-I've never done this before, asshole, so stop making me feel bad!"

You felt a smile rise onto your lips. Is he... getting flustered? You chuckled and looked up at him, pumping slowly, "It's just intimidating." You licked the tip and gulped, feeling a bit nervous, "But, I'll try to take it all in, okay?"

You placed your lips on his tip and suck it as your hands jerked him off. He groaned, grabbing your head with 4 fingers. You gradually took more and more into your mouth, using your hands for whatever didn't fit. You bobbed your head up and down on him, speeding up. Shigaraki groaned your name.

"F-Fuck, Y/N, you really know what you're doing!" He pressed his hand on the back of your head harder, forcing more of him into you. You gagged and choked as Tomura just laughed, "God, you're taking it all in like a good little sex slave, aren't you?" You moaned at the name and shigaraki shuttered, "Mm, your moans feel so fucking good on my cock!" He breathed harder, "Fuck, Y/N, I need you to touch yourself while sucking me." You brought your hand to your slit and rubbed at it, moaning. Shigaraki groaned, "Fuck, Just like that!"

You gagged and moaned on his dick, feeling it twitch in your mouth. A lewd little 'pop' echoed in the room as you let off. Shigaraki frowned and you gave him a cheeky grin, "No sticky icky for you!" He groaned in annoyance.

"God, why are you like this?!?" He grabbed your arm and threw you roughly on the bed. Before you knew it, Shigaraki was already inside of you. Your face went hot as he fucked you doggy style.

You screamed, "A warning!!! We've been over this!!!" He responded with a slap on your ass.

Tomura rode your ass, grinding into you and groaning while doing it. "Fuck off, Y/N, you're a horny mess just like me, dumbass!" You screamed his name as his thrusts became faster and deeper. Shigaraki pulled both of your wrists back and down, making you kneel, your back pressed against his chest as he fucked into you. "Fuck, you're so fucking tight..." Shigaraki sloppily kissed your neck. You breathed harder as his dick hit the spot over and over. Shigaraki flipped you over onto your back. You laid underneath him as he paused. Tomura blushed harder and looked away, "I-I wanna really savor this..." he smirked, glaring in your eyes, "Plus I wanna know what you look like, full of my cum!"

You were flustered and giggling, "Its the ✨mood switch✨ for me-"

Tomura placed a hand over your mouth, "No. You just lost your speaking privileges."

Shigaraki grinded into you slowly. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and drool seeped from your lips. Shigaraki held your waist, pulling you whenever he's press himself deep inside of you. You were speechless from the pleasure. You moaned and whined as his body slowly moved with yours.

You pressed the back of your hand to your face, feeling a bit embarrassed at the change of atmosphere. It was so easy to just enjoy him fucking you silly and laughing and everything, but you couldn't bring yourself to feel any other emotion rather than pleasure muxed in with something new.

Shigaraki placed his forehead against yours and breathed harder, "I-I'm getting there, Y/N..." He let out a breathy moan and your legs shaked. Tomura kissed you softly as well. "A-Ah, you're almost there t-too, right?"

You nodded, feeling a knot in your stomach. You moaned and Shigaraki pulled out, cumming all over you. You moaned, climaxing too.

You were covered in cum and panting. You couldn't even find words to say. It just felt so good. Shigaraki cuddled up to you. He smiled and kissed your cheek. "I'm giving you your speaking privileges back now." You stayed silent, your face hot. It was hard for you to be serious, but God damn. Tomura looked at you a bit concerned, "You okay-"

"That was amazing."

He looked surprised before laughing hard. "Did I really leave you speechless?" You nodded, silently. Shigaraki kissed your lips, "That sucks because, even though you're annoying, I kinda like you."

Your eyes widened. He liked your jokes and stupid comments?! Your mouth became ajar. "I-I..." You just closed your mouth, staring at him.

Shigaraki placed his arm over you. He smiled, "Lets hang out tomorrow."

You smiled back.

[ainu-lindale]

Just some lil' Observations During My 17 Billionth Rewatch of Fellowship of the Ring

Okay so in the prologue, for some reason I never paid attention to how many active verbs are used to describe what the ring does and how it goes about it's lil life. I don't often think about the powers and personality of the ring very much, I'm usually to distracted by my love for frodo ha

"It is no bad thing to celebrate a simple life." Love love love that, somehow never really heard that line before.

Uh oh. I'm becoming that person that unconsciously quotes all the lines as they're spoken.

I wonder if bilbo would've been a different old man if he hadn't had the ring in his pocket for decades

Tbh I am very impressed that bilbo just dropped to ring and walked out. Obviously it took some help by gandalf but still, to be able to leave it behind after all that time. Such a comforting thought to my poor little heart that hates to think about how long the Martin Freeman bilbo was slowly poisoned by the ring

Yall. When I was a kid the black riders gave me nightmares, and now they are like 0% scary

I've related to different characters over the years, but u know what I'm realizing that maybe I'm sam. bc I too would walk to the ends of the earth for frodo baggins.

Dear lorddd. That seduction of the ring theme - the one that plays at the v beginning of their journey as they're walking through the tall clovers and weeds under the trees - gives me chills every time. The use of voices in howard shore's score is MAGNIFIQUE

"If I take one more step it'll be the farthest away from home I've ever been". Have any of yall seen the 9 hour version of the movie that plays that clip every time sam takes a step?😂😂

Am I upset that they replaced merry and pippin's dedication to frodo and the journey in the books with comedic relief stealing-the-crops stuff? Overall not much. I think they get the characterization they deserve over the course of the movies. Ppl can just chill and let the movie be a movie. Tbh we need some comedic relief from this very stressful epic

Am I upset they cut tom bombadil? Also overall no. Again, for the sake of the movie, they gave us some stress relief with merry and pip and streamlined the journey to bree enough to where an extra stop for some reprieve wasn't needed. Dont get me wrong, it's a lovely part of the book, but I agree with the directorial choices to keep the movie's energy up

THE REFLECTION IN ARAGORN'S EYES WHEN HE LIGHTS THE PIPE. CINEMATIC MAGIC. also I'm just generally attracted to him anyway.

Me anytime viggo says or does anything:

Arwen's sword under aragorns chin is THE best introduction to our first legit female character I could ask for

OH MY GODDDDDDD. I think it's probably Elijah's hobbit-height double that viggo is carrying to the horse, and dear God that mask on him is so freaky looking 😂😭😂 Never ever seen that before

One thing I am just ever so slightly salty about is that they had the council of elrond be summoned to determine the fate of the ring rather than everyone coming on their own accord with their specific knowledge to lead to the collective realization that they are exactly the right group of ppl to form the fellowship

For the rest of my life, I am doomed to only think of the LOTR How It Should Have Ended during the council of elrond scene. 12 year old me really screwed herself by watching the same 5 YouTube videos on endless repeat

The solo French horn that plays the gondor theme while boromir is speaking is so subtle but increeeeeeeedibly powerful. It's just different enough from the other themes introduced so far that for that moment it takes me so much deeper into the world of middle earth ??

Just noticed the wink between gandalf and elrond when aragorn offers to help frodo. Their last conversation ended with "he turned away from that life long ago. He has chosen exile" and now aragorn is giving up his preferred solo life for the sake of frodo and for the world. Look how the turntables, elrond

Boromir's lil "sorry!" when he accidentally cuts Merry's hand 😭

"Boromir! Give the ring to frodo!" "As you wish." Boromir loves aragorn

The humans carrying two hobbits at a time to keep them safe from the snow😭😭😭

Literally Gandalf can you please just tell frodo that there is a balrog down in moria!!! This is not informed consent!!!!

Lake monster outside moria = aquatic sarlacc

We as a Society™️ need to spend more time listening to gandalf's words to frodo while chilling in moria

The chanting during the chase in khazad dum gives me similar vibes as the "track down this murderer" voices at the end of phantom of the opera. ..uh oh so I'm getting too tired to elaborate on my thoughts

I've watched Gandalfs 'death' too many times that it's not the fall itself that makes me cry anymore, but it's frodo's reaction outside that gets me now. Also the soprano voice singing (renee fleming?)

Oh my god I just heard for the first time boromir's line in lorien "i did not see it", referring to Galadriel telling him there's still hope for his people. That's the same thing he says right before he dies and I finally understand what he meant. He tried to take the ring from frodo bc the ring overwhelmed him completely with a sense of despair, convincing him that using the ring was their only option to survive. And oh my gosh it's how galadriel knew that boromir was going to try and take it. She knew he had lost hope. Wow it took me waaay too long to catch that. It's the specificity of it all that I didn't catch, not necessarily the fact that boromir thought the ring was the only way

Boromir's death hit different this time yall. With a better understanding of what was going on in his head, just ..... I may or may not have cried a lot more than usual

Soooo strategic of howard shore to have let a long time pass without hearing the Shire theme before it plays when frodo and sam hug on the boat. Every. single. damn. time. that moment gets me. The power of MUSIC people.

Aaaaaaaaaand credits roll

[alloftheimaginess]

Met

"Good morning" I say to my live as I walk to the sliding door to get some better light. I sing along to Beautiful as it plays through the hotel room.

"Today is Met Monday and it's currently 5:45 am" I say looking at my watch.

"It's time to start the process for my outfit because it literally has to be built" I say laughing.

"The sun just rose like 2 minutes ago and I've been up for 20 minutes now so this is dedication because I’m exhausted" I say looking around.

"I'm here with my team" I say turning the camera around and everyone waves.

"They have so much energy I don't know how they do it" I say.

"It's called not being out until 2 knowing we had to be up at 5" my hair stylist says.

"Damn just expose me then" I say laughing.

"I was out simply because it's rare I get to be in New York with a bunch of other celebrities" I say.

"True" she says laying everything out.

"Did you run into Zendaya?" She asks.

"Yeah I did" I say rolling my eyes looking down.

"Hi guys. How are you this morning?" I ask responding to the hi's.

"What am I eating for breakfast. Only the best, it's Met Monday I can't do anything less" I say holding up a McDonald's bag and I start laughing.

"Sausage Egg McMuffin with egg whites is legit heaven" I say.

"Hurry up and eat so we can get started" my best friend aka my designer says and I nod.

"Okay, okay" I say sitting down and I prop up the phone.

"What am I wearing? Something so great I feel like it really fits the theme" I say answering questions as I eat my breakfast.

"Alright guys I'm ending this but be on the lookout for me on the carpet"

——

I pose as my assistant goes around in circles recording my look as they put it together. There's about 20 of us in this room working to make sure that I fit the theme of this year which is 'CAMP' "we can't be one of those celebrities that half ass the theme especially since I'm debuting my line" Lily says sticking needles to hold pieces of the dress in place.

"It's like they don't get the memo that there is actually a theme in place" I say.

"Even though they look gorgeous I prefer for them to fit the theme. Is that just me?" She asks and I shake my head.

"No, it's not just you" I say and she starts sewing the sleeves on I sing and dance to every song that comes on shuffle, her poking me a few times to calm me down but I don't stop.

"Help me I'm holding on for dear life, won't look down, won't open eyes" I sing dramatically doing different poses as I get recorded and everyone starts laughing.

"Seriously be still" she says and I stand still.

——

I get out the car and as soon as I step on the Pink carpet the flashes go off and I start walking up the carpet making sure to stop so everyone can get pictures and I run into Benedict "hey, you guys look great" I say hugging them.

"You look amazing" Sophie says hugging me back. "Where's Tom?" She asks.

"He's headed to Los Angeles for his press tour" I say.

“That sucks he couldn't be here" he says.

"I don't think he would enjoy this though it's not really his speed" I say laughing.

"Very true" Benedict says.

"Shall we get some pictures?" Sophie asks.

"Of course" I say and I stand with them smiling as the cameras go off and Sophie walks past.

"I'll see you guys inside" I say walking off after hugging them.

"Sophie" I say and she stops.

"Oh my god you look amazing" she says and I laugh and we do our handshake.

"How's that married life?" I ask.

"Better than I could have imagined, there's been problems but nothing we can't work through" she says.

"That's so good to hear, I've been meaning to text Joe but I had to replace my phone and I lost his number" I say.

"Oh I can give it to you" she says.

"Ghat would be great" I say.

"How are you and Tom?" She asks and I sigh.

"I don't really know. If I'm being honest, we've spent a lot of time together between filming infinity war, endgame and Spider-Man that I think were just happy for some time apart" I confess.

"Is that why he isn't here?" She asks.

"Yeah" I say.

"He had the day off and he was going to be my plus one and lily got him a whole outfit put together to go with mine and everything but we decided it was best if he didn't come" I say.

"You guys are going to be okay, you are always are" she says.

"Yeah that's just the thing, there's possibly another person in the picture" I say.

"Wait seriously?" She asks and I nod.

"I have to fix my lipstick so let's go and we'll talk in there" I say and she grabs my hand and we stop for pictures first and then we go to the bathroom.

"Who is it?" She asks.

"Zendaya" I say grabbing my lipstick out of my bag. "He likes Zendaya?" She asks surprised.

"Don't sound so surprised she's absolutely gorgeous" I say sighing and I have to calm myself down.

"I'm going to sound surprised because I am, are you serious" she says and I nod.

"I wish I wasn’t" I say.

"Did anything happen?" She asks and I nod.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asks hugging me.

"Because I feel stupid, like why did I think he wanted me when he works with her" I say and the stall door opens and Zendaya walks out.

We make eye contact through the mirror and I close my lipstick shoving it into my purse and grabbing Sophie's hand pulling her out of the bathroom.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: I need a favour Jimmy: And the scale is what? Like a kidney or a 🚬? Janis: don't need anything off you but a lie Janis: so standard, yeah Jimmy: go on Janis: if any of my family ask, and it'll probably be Grace Janis: can you tell 'em I'm at yours, yeah Janis: they won't come over or anything cringe Jimmy: Alright Janis: sure? Janis: cool Janis: I owe you Jimmy: Standard, you said it Jimmy: meant to be with me #always Janis: you get I mean like, until further notice, right Janis: if I'm gone too long and they get aggro, just tell 'em I've gone but yeah, long as you can Jimmy: I weren't reckoning you were nipping out to get a coffee at one of my rival's Jimmy: even Gracie ain't that on one Janis: not that loyal either, sorry to report Jimmy: 💔 Janis: tell her how devvo you are, make her life Jimmy: gonna have to if you leave the fans in a content draught Jimmy: how would I ever cope with becoming #irrelevant Janis: despite the fact that's exactly what you're after, supposedly Janis: and I'm there, remember, content as usually Janis: use your artiste imagination Jimmy: Now I've gotta do all the faking myself Jimmy: what kind of girlfriend Janis: I said I owed you Janis: now you get it Jimmy: You'll more than owe me when I have to seriously draft your sister in as your stand in Janis: don't Jimmy: Too many white redheads in this town Janis: I'm serious dickhead Janis: don't get with my sister Jimmy: It weren't a serious consideration Jimmy: literally no point to this if I were gonna Janis: yeah well I don't ask your reasons you don't ask mine Janis: might've changed Jimmy: not that fucking hard they won't have Jimmy: you got the lobotomy not me Janis: alright alright Janis: 😏 Janis: just can't stand to see her happy, yeah Jimmy: can't stand to see her, tah Janis: my sentiments exactly Jimmy: Better come back in a bit then Jimmy: so you won't have to see me with her Janis: 😑 stop it Jimmy: What? Janis: putting that mental image in my head Jimmy: I mean, dickhead, are you alright or what? Janis: ain't gonna off myself Janis: not that cunt, I wouldn't put that on you Jimmy: not what I asked Janis: idk how to answer that Janis: don't see the point in lying but not asking this favour of ya as no cry for help Janis: alright, nothing I can't handle Jimmy: very comforting that Janis: you shouldn't of asked Janis: nothing you can do either, don't worry Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: 'course there is Janis: fake boyfriend chivalry is cute and all Jimmy: I know but stop flirting with me and you can be here instead of just saying you are Janis: 1. no one is flirting with you Janis: 2. can't sleep in your shed Jimmy: don't be a twat Jimmy: [tells her where there is a front door key] Janis: what will your dad reckon Janis: don't you need to ask Jimmy: He ain't in Janis: yeah but I told you I need more than a coffee break Jimmy: Yeah, so you can have my room Janis: alright Janis: just 'til you get back tonight Jimmy: Til whenever Jimmy: I'll go in my brother's Janis: nah, I ain't gonna put you out Janis: I appreciate it though Jimmy: You ain't Jimmy: but alright Janis: come off it Jimmy: you Janis: what? Jimmy: I get that you scare easy, rich girl, but I'm the only 👻 round my house Janis: I ain't scared Janis: least of all of your gaff Jimmy: stick around then Janis: they been in today? Jimmy: what do you reckon? Janis: they clearly don't give a fuck Janis: idk what would it take for them to piss off, that's the truth Janis: if I knew well Jimmy: sure I could do it Janis: like the optimism Jimmy: full of it, me Jimmy: 🌞 Janis: don't make me laugh Janis: 🌚 me Jimmy: there's no universe we ain't starcrossed 💔🎻 Janis: actually a tragedy Janis: I'll put it in my note Janis: f u god Jimmy: I'll post it for you, babe Janis: that's real romance Janis: 😩🤤😍 Janis: makes a girl wanna stick around Jimmy: and I ain't even said how much I'd miss you yet Janis: do I get a preview or have I gotta die for the 💕 Jimmy: Depends Janis: on? Jimmy: Do you want me or do you wanna die? Janis: that's a big question Jimmy: I've got a big 💕 Janis: baby Jimmy: 😘 Janis: give me a night Janis: yeah Janis: then I can work out what next Jimmy: Take a night Jimmy: It's alright, I said Janis: don't wanna owe you too much Jimmy: So scared, you Janis: 😠 Jimmy: well cute Janis: I may owe ya Janis: but I will punch you Jimmy: I ain't scared, only you Janis: should be Janis: I have your keys Jimmy: I don't have a car for you to fuck up with them Jimmy: and there ain't fuck all for you to steal Jimmy: just a 🐕 Janis: you reckon I'm such a 🐰boiler Janis: should be worried for that poor pup Jimmy: that's your sister Janis: see, not a good replacement Jimmy: never said she were Janis: hmm Jimmy: Less need for a filter, like Jimmy: that's what I said Janis: you see her in person ain't ya Janis: every need for the filter, thanks Jimmy: 👩🏽 🤳🏽 Jimmy: what I'm bothered about Janis: we ain't identical Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: Stop misunderstanding me, dickhead Janis: stop comparing me to her Janis: bad idea Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: 😏 Jimmy: such hard work, you Janis: you signed up for it Janis: and invited me over Janis: you must be cracked Jimmy: Do you wanna be uninvited or what? Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: believe that when I don't hear it Janis: bollocks Janis: I never speak Janis: complained as much before Jimmy: I change my mind, you've complained before about that, mate Janis: just so unpredictable, babe Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: stop flirting with me Jimmy: you signed up for it Janis: true Janis: that's my answer Jimmy: [does some extra post about how much he misses her] Janis: pretty good, mate Jimmy: 🏆💪 Janis: you want me to walk this dog Jimmy: such an athlete 💕 Janis: you know it Janis: counts towards my IOU? Janis: like 25% maybe? Jimmy: Piss off Janis: worth a shot Jimmy: next time hit the 🎯 Janis: damn Janis: tough love Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Janis: so hot Jimmy: I know Janis: that's how your shifts going then Jimmy: when don't it? Jimmy: 😎🚬☕💰💰💰 Janis: new bio Jimmy: it'll be a big hit on tinder Janis: probably just do the last 3 Jimmy: can't rip off your bio, bit rude Janis: feel free Janis: goals! Jimmy: We that type of couple, yeah? Janis: #lookingforathird Jimmy: don't tell 💀👑 though Janis: I'm not going to jail if she pegs it in the sack, fuck that Jimmy: I'd break you out, baby 💕 Janis: why are YOU not going to jail too Janis: admitting you ain't pulling your weight 😏 Jimmy: They'll deport me back to Manchester #duh Janis: ugh, can't fake ldr Jimmy: you'll have to come with when I rescue you then Janis: works for me Janis: get out of here after-all Jimmy: 👍 Janis: have to let me tag-along 'til I learn the language tho Jimmy: fuck that, I'll crack on teaching you when I get back in a bit Janis: challenge accepted Jimmy: [okay but hear me out, what if she lowkey just stayed at his on and off the whole time] Jimmy: shouldn't be no challenge for a 🧠 or 👅 like yours, Judith Janis: [legit for her running away vibe that she would so I buy it tbh] Janis: I didn't wanna disrespect your culture Janis: being polite, like Jimmy: What culture and what decent manners? 😏 Janis: I'm catching on Janis: get me a flatcap wearing pipe smoking man in no time Jimmy: Ian is bound to show his face eventually, being my dad and the one on the lease an' all Jimmy: crack on Janis: assuming he don't wanna head back north though Janis: unless he's on the run Jimmy: he don't Jimmy: 💔 for you Janis: population ain't that low Jimmy: your chances ain't that high Jimmy: grim up there, ain't you heard? Janis: and I ain't Janis: queen of the north, bitch, watch me Jimmy: won't be there to 👀 you binned me off Janis: you Janis: teaching me northern now so you can ditch me then Jimmy: you Jimmy: 'cause you wanna chain a pipe with some 👴💕 Janis: your type, first of all Janis: so welcome for me being so accomodating about the type of third we want Jimmy: hot's hot, babe Jimmy: can't fight it Janis: 😂 Janis: then don't Jimmy: Alright Janis: good Janis: sorted Jimmy: all in a day's work Janis: mhmm Janis: tip you later Jimmy: if anyone else said that they'd be out on their ear, you know Janis: I'm special, you know Jimmy: Me and everyone who follows me 💕 Janis: I get it Janis: you want a post too Janis: hold up Janis: [some post about waiting for him to come back and a selfie on his bed like hey] Jimmy: well done for finding the right bed Janis: tnat could've been awkward Janis: where does your da sleep, actually Jimmy: garage Janis: ahh Jimmy: not in a car, like Janis: 💔 shame Jimmy: for his birds, yeah Jimmy: can't drive themselves away now Janis: 😬 Janis: who am i meant to be Janis: btw Janis: if I bump into the man Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: idk, a valid one? Jimmy: Why ain't you who you always are? Jimmy: a more valid one that Janis: I meant more like, do you have your fam or your socials or no Janis: am I your fake girlfriend to them or just a mate, like Jimmy: can't keep them off Jimmy: must be my 🥇 content Janis: who could resist Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: [sends a 🔥 sext cos #mood after what she posted] Jimmy: treat your followers, mate Janis: 😏 Janis: too kind Jimmy: it's been said Janis: should run a hotline in your spare time Janis: 💰💰💰 Jimmy: How do you know I don't? Jimmy: other than the state of my room Janis: yeah aside from that Janis: literally that special, obvs mate Jimmy: Gotta keep you in 🚬 Jimmy: might bankrupt a lesser lad Janis: psh, I ain't the one with the habit Janis: and why I picked you, babe 😘 Jimmy: of all the bollocks to fake, Jasmine Janis: what Jimmy: I've 👀 yous and 👂 about the pipe you crave Jimmy: can't fool me Janis: 1. filth Janis: 2. very in to be a social smoker, just playing along with what they'd do Jimmy: 1. you better not be filthy in my bed Jimmy: 2. I'll pick you up a vape pen on my way home, yeah? Janis: 1. I'm not gonna hot box your room, better house guest than that, just Janis: 2. if you want me to peg you, just ask Jimmy: 1. Free house law, wouldn't be nowt I could do Jimmy: 2. sure that'd be very #goals but you're alright Janis: 1. see, you want me to really, perv Janis: 2. leave it at the smoke shack then, boy Jimmy: 1. you wanna really Jimmy: 2. what kind of boyfriend if I don't bring you 🎁 Janis: 1. even if I did, get what you said about this dog, won't leave me alone, what's it called? Janis: 2. bring me a ☕ Jimmy: 1. Too late to call her Mia or? Jimmy: 2. What do you actually want then? Janis: 1. 😂 no the 🐶 is too cute for that don't be mean Janis: 2. idk, what kind of smoothies do you do, something like that Jimmy: 1. You're right, she ain't half starved Jimmy: 2. 👍 Janis: 1. have to call RSPCA on you, not #goals Janis: 2. tah Jimmy: Be a quality break up story that Janis: shelf it for later Janis: no dogs actually harmed though, tah Janis: not co-signing that Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: fine Janis: you got a brother and a sister, right? Jimmy: You had a nose around my house or my 📷 IG? Janis: found the right bed on my 2nd attempt Janis: and pretty sure you've mentioned them Janis: but yeah, what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't stalk all your socials Jimmy: A sane one Jimmy: yet to have one of them so crack on Janis: if I was sane they'd call me a nun Janis: gotta play to the audience Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: for you Janis: find one one day Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: cute Jimmy: I am, yeah Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: convincing denial, babe Janis: get it, you want me to tell you how cute you ain't, that's your kink Janis: busy though Jimmy: I don't want you to tell me what you're busy with in my bed though, tah Janis: walking this dog Janis: or getting it ready to Janis: idiot Jimmy: Don't bother, it's alright Janis: may as well, no Jimmy: If you want a 🥇 over my sister whose job it is Janis: oh will she be pissed off Janis: can always have 2 walks Jimmy: cute Jimmy: scared of her an' all? Janis: yeah obvs Janis: just trying not to be a dick to your fam and all Janis: they ain't done nothing to me Jimmy: Yet Jimmy: she could take you in a scrap, mate Janis: alright doubt that Janis: not gonna fight a child either you dick Jimmy: 🙀 you Janis: ain't you got hipsters and basic white girls to serve Jimmy: but my 1st priority is always you, girl 💕 Janis: thrilled about that, obvs Jimmy: I know Janis: feel the love Jimmy: 😘 Janis: you sure you wanna give up your bed Janis: I got places I can go Jimmy: I get it, it don't have a princess canopy Jimmy: you'll live Janis: but will I sleep Jimmy: alright you can borrow my 😎 Jimmy: stop begging Janis: 😂 Janis: and I ain't begging, let's get that clear Janis: told you, got options Jimmy: and I told you, alright Jimmy: you can calm down now, my dear Jimmy: the better option is you 📷🐕💕 Janis: just saying, don't make me feel more like a cunt than I already do Janis: but obvs Janis: suckers for cuteness every time Jimmy: Leave it, I'll live too Jimmy: just don't lose the 🔑 that's our Cass' job an' all Janis: 🤞 Jimmy: #whenshedon'twantyouto💀💀💀 Janis: 💕 Janis: wait 'til I've worked on your old man so I've got an in, like Jimmy: he'll give you an alibi for 🔪🔪💀💀 long as it's only me Janis: that's the lowdown on them then Janis: what about your brother, he gonna come for me too? Jimmy: Depends, you got it in you to piss off a 6 year old or not? Janis: don't really do kids Janis: can't be as annoying as the ones I know though, not related to me for a start Jimmy: Related to me though 😏 Jimmy: just admit you 💕 me, babe Janis: shut up Janis: I'm related to my siblings and I'm great Janis: poor kid stands a chance Jimmy: He's related to Ian, no he don't Janis: bummer Janis: take him with when you get deported? Jimmy: quickest way to get arrested again that Jimmy: use your big head Janis: pretend he's yours Janis: who'd know Jimmy: Piss off I'm northern not a paddy Janis: alright and your ex ain't got a kid nah Jimmy: that's a 👶 not a kid Janis: true Janis: yeah 9 might be insane Janis: can you grow bum fluff, age yourself up before the 🚬 do Jimmy: I dunno Janis: tell him he's like 4 Janis: buy you as 18, sorted Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: that your way of telling me you wanna go pub in a bit then? Janis: duh Janis: i am part paddy Jimmy: How big's the % Jimmy: might be a dealbreaker Janis: 50% Janis: 25% scouse 25% brazilian Jimmy: Made you do maths in the holidays 😏 Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: *😎 Jimmy: *👻 an all Jimmy: any chance you can say you're 💀💀💀 so I can leave? Janis: well my irish fam ain't even from this part of ireland but keep that to yourself 🤐 already got the ropes out, like Janis: only so many funerals I can have but sure Jimmy: I'll keep your real kinks to myself too Jimmy: put the ropes away though you'll wind up the 🐕 Janis: 💕 Janis: boo, no fun Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: Best fake boyfriend you've ever had, sweetheart Janis: competition of one but 🏆 Janis: there you are Jimmy: tah Janis: fake win for a fake boy Janis: only right Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: about to pull a fake sickie, me Janis: that is actual smart though so Jimmy: and you owe me some fake nursing Jimmy: might as well cash in Janis: yeah? Jimmy: send me one of the nudes 💀👑 has sent you so I can 🤢 Janis: 😂 Janis: just don't leak 'em Janis: for my eyes only, obvs 🙄 Jimmy: I promise Janis: [sends her the latest god knows what Mia has been sending for the lols] Jimmy: she's Janis: in love with me? Janis: yeah Janis: don't be threatened Jimmy: but my fragile masculinity though! 😱😱😱 Janis: I'll nurse it better baby Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: put the outfit on, I'll be there in a bit Janis: 😏 Janis: alright Jimmy: 😘 Jimmy: [is there when she gets back from walking Twix because it was a long walk and he's a sneaky speedy mofo] Janis: ['fancy seeing you here' 🤓] Jimmy: [hands her the smoothie he's made specially] Janis: [is doing a #skeptical face but changes it to a 'not bad' when she tries it] Jimmy: [gives her a look like go on then, tell me what's wrong with it but goes to put kettle on for his self #northern] Janis: ['ain't just resident eye candy then, good to know'] Jimmy: [does a bow cos nerd] Janis: [just giving Twix love whilst he makes tea, shouts through 'so you gonna show me where it hurts or am I guessing?' like you don't need to play nurse yet eager bitch] Jimmy: [you know he's making her one even though she's literally got a smoothie so who else is eager, comes through with said tea after a bit and puts the mugs down so he can put a hand over his heart like an even bigger nerd] Janis: [make pouty poor boy face 'might be incurable, that'] Jimmy: ['if you can't do it, you can't' shrugs] Janis: ['making it a challenge?'] Jimmy: [sips tea with an eyebrow raised like a sassy bitch] Janis: [lols, 'okay, so your face muscles are working fine, I get it' casually squishing his face 'cos cheeky too] Jimmy: [when you give her a little smooch but it's FINE cos you've got your phone out okay] Janis: [#allforthegramsureboys how many people really wanna see you making out erryday like some yeah you fine but still] Jimmy: [we know you ain't even holding that phone properly boy and then you won't post it cos you'll say it's too blurry or whatever] Janis: [one of these days you gon just drop it and the pretense but not yet] Jimmy: [soon kids, just hold on] Janis: ['how's the heart now? just challenging to go further oh lads] Jimmy: [puts her hand over said heart like that's nbd and not at all dangerous, with a shrug like I ain't dead yet so] Janis: [we all know it'd be beating pretty fast so bold Jimothy, just looking at her hand on his chest 'cos 'real question is, do you want it to be better or do you wanna..' when you trail off but we get it] Jimmy: ['more goals if I die for you, Juliet'] Janis: [when you're taking that as a yes #bothproblematic and you just kick it up to an actual make out sec again phone is out but who cares] Jimmy: [both of you just going for it like this isn't a dangerous game, impressed that you ain't dropped that phone tbh] Janis: [also your teas going cold, jussayin, when you just straddle his lap but don't sit] Jimmy: [OMG THE TEA] Janis: [my boo like nooooo stop rn and finish that brew] Jimmy: [gonna have to microwave that in a bit] Janis: [least Twix can bark 'cos jealous and they'll think someone's about to run up in so even if they ain't it then breaks the moment] Jimmy: [Good 🐕 yeah let's not have Cass descend yet cos she can always cockblock another moment should we need] Jimmy: [just drinking that tea casually now like nothing happened okay] Janis: [my thoughts exactly, at least Janis can love said cockblocking dog now 'cos awkward] Jimmy: [#true love] Janis: [doing that post about how he's poorly/playing nurse etc gotcha covered boy] Jimmy: [doing flirty replies so you can safely flirt lol] Janis: [so blatant lads] Janis: you seen that lot today? Jimmy: [nods] Janis: shoulda messaged us Janis: final fuck you to 'em before I go, like Jimmy: soz there were a rush on Janis: no worries, got a day now Janis: drop in tomorrow, undoubtedly be there Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [just picked up his lighter and are playing with it Jimmy: brb Janis: 👌 Jimmy: [comes back in a bit with art hoe supplies so he can draw her] Janis: ['homework?'] Jimmy: [shows her what he's doing] Janis: [when you try to be casual and 😏 about it but are immediately like oh and self-conscious of how you look rn 'am I meant to pose or what?'] Jimmy: [just shrugs because he's helpful like that lol 'Do you want it to turn out decent or not?' because challenge always like be my muse bitch] Janis: [🙄 'if you wanna be goals you'll draw me pretty no matter what' but is her usual effortless model self 'cos 'course she can] Jimmy: [🙄 back 'By now I've had plenty of practice at faking I reckon you are, no challenge or owt'] Janis: [sighs 'must be nice having good taste, even if it's pretend, welcome' 😘] Jimmy: [sighs back dramatically without looking up from the page 'be nicer if you stopped moving your lips, dickhead'] Janis: ['mr serious artiste needs to concretrate, okay, okay' mimes zipping 'em] Jimmy: [makes a scoff news but in the next second you know he's doing a cute lil concentration face] Jimmy: [*noise] Janis: [stealth taking a picture of that 'cos is cute] Jimmy: [chewing on that pen like a cute mofo also how confident not to use pencil boy] Janis: [like you've drawn her before lol Jimmy: [giving yourself well away] Janis: [what does one even do when getting drawn, just getting so comfy on that couch, so confident bitch] Jimmy: [at least his doodle style wouldn't take an age] Janis: [trulyfe] Jimmy: [lowkey shoving it at her like well I'm done and soooo not bothered haha] Janis: [when you can't be like I LOVE IT 'cos 1. a picture of yourself 2. you're not meant to be bothered either but you do love so you're like 'you're actually good then' like fairplay] Jimmy: [when you can't deal with even such a lowkey compliment so you have to leave the room and pretend like it's cause the dog is being so annoying like fuck off to the kitchen Twix you slag but also the awks is radiating off you so she's gotta be aware] Janis: [just pocketing that drawing, like] Janis: wanna 🚬? Jimmy: [when you don't answer you just head out there] Janis: [leaves it a hot sec like well am I invited or nah but then decides to go out regardless] Jimmy: [sit on that trampoline kids] Jimmy: [when you light up for her even though you feel awks cos habit] Janis: [takes it and lies back on the trampoline looking up at the sky and smoking] Jimmy: [shamelessly looking at her while she can't see him do it as if he didn't spend however long doing that when he was drawing, okay boy] Janis: ['s'comfy' and closing her eyes 'cos in my mind she's probably had a couple nights out in town already 'cos usually how she'd do before running] Jimmy: [takes off his jacket or hoodie or whatever and spreads it over her like a blanket cos nerd] Janis: [when you just allow that] Jimmy: [Twix just jumping on her because can't get a moment gdi] Janis: [at least she can get her to settle next to her like shh] Jimmy: [just texting Cass like where are you btw because can't join in with the snuggle] Janis: [a fair point also gotta tell her dis bitch staying over like] Jimmy: [really lingering over this convo because what to say or what to do, god bless him] Janis: [she's just oblivious soz lol] Jimmy: [after a while just poking her like 'You hungry or what?'] Janis: ['oi' but getting up, leaning on her elbows 'yeah, I could eat, want me go get something?'] Jimmy: [pushes her back down but gently cos he's gonna go and does] Janis: charming Janis: wanna go twos at least Jimmy: Obviously not, 'cause yeah I am such a 👑 charming, like Jimmy: I gotta pick my brother up anyway Janis: don't be stealing my shoes Janis: know they'd probably fit you but still, not even fake like that Janis: 👍 Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: I've touched your feet and I wouldn't be caught 💀💀💀 Janis: nothing wrong with my feet Jimmy: If you want sell pics to pervs, crack on Jimmy: #notmykink Janis: make a lot off that Janis: I don't need it Janis: 👑💰 Jimmy: hand it over my way then Janis: called being a pimp, that Jimmy: alright so if anyone asks, this convo's fake Janis: alright, rebrand to manager and you get 20% Janis: all in the details, boy Jimmy: Am I signing in 🩸 or that only the 💀💌? Janis: what you so hesitant for Janis: my fucking feet Janis: 🗡 least you can do is suffer Jimmy: I were wondering how much of my bodily fluids you're gonna want over the course of this bollocks Janis: don't be so crude Janis: talking about making softcore fetish porn here, not your emissions, thanks very much Janis: be professional Jimmy: become a nun after you 💔 me not before Janis: you can't 💔 Janis: become a priest if you want access to that untapped source of 😻 Jimmy: You, dickhead Janis: not gay Jimmy: No shit Janis: shut up Jimmy: you Janis: you, dickhead Jimmy: You're a bigger dickhead Janis: awh, it's mm if at all, don't worry 💕 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: how long you reckon you'll be Jimmy: Depends Janis: yeah but Janis: rough estimate Jimmy: Yeah but are you gonna tell me what you wanna eat or have I gotta guess? Janis: get whatever you lot want Janis: I'll eat anything Jimmy: Then I'll be a bit longer than it takes 💀👑 to slide in your DMs whenever you post but not as long as it takes her to take no for an answer Jimmy: alright? Janis: 👍 Janis: gonna go for a run then Jimmy: I won't let the 🐕 know 💔 Janis: can't keep friends, me Janis: soz babe Jimmy: my fault, should've warned her what you're like Janis: you'd have to know for that Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: at it again, you Janis: what, we mates now Jimmy: who's asking? Janis: who do you think Janis: 🐕 hasn't mastered the phone Jimmy: I don't reckon you have any need to ask, Jennifer Jimmy: there's your answer Janis: alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: Stop trying to friendzone me, babe Jimmy: It ain't #goals Janis: you're ridiculous Jimmy: I ain't the one asking questions I know the answers to Jimmy: such a girl, you Janis: and I'm the know-it-all Janis: ok bighead Jimmy: I get it, you don't wanna share the 🏆 Janis: you who don't wanna share Jimmy: What you on about? Jimmy: I love sharing, me Janis: nah Janis: ain't that bad a roomie, like Janis: don't ask gracie though Jimmy: don't ask her round, don't ask her questions, you don't want much, you Janis: shut up Janis: how often you have to see her, welcome the break Janis: I would Jimmy: I do Janis: exactly, don't complain, boy Jimmy: Or what? Janis: plenty of ways to shut you up Jimmy: Go on then Janis: 🔇 Janis: feel that mute Jimmy: 🎻🎻still playing on Janis: sorry what was that? Jimmy: come here, grub is Janis: okay, be right there Jimmy: 😘 Janis: don't make me 🤢 into it like Jimmy: but that sounds so hot 💕 Jimmy: bit rude of you to take the spotlight though Jimmy: it were my sickie Janis: oh yeah, soz Janis: be a better patient and I'll be a better nurse Jimmy: be 🥇 and it wouldn't matter Janis: weren't me, was the dog Janis: but okay, round 2 Jimmy: ain't even fed me 🍇 or nowt Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 Janis: 😂 you aren't a roman emperor Jimmy: I'm on my fake deathbed here Janis: so I've gotta spoil you, yeah Jimmy: do something Janis: been trying Janis: saying, have your bed back, I'll take the floor Jimmy: I don't want my bed back Janis: tell me what you want Jimmy: I have done Janis: get the grapes then shall I Janis: brb, detour Jimmy: come and eat, dickhead Janis: well alright Janis: later then Jimmy: I don't even like 🍇 alright Janis: see, how can I win Janis: honestly, setting me up, shame 😏 Jimmy: I'll spit them out off 📷 Jimmy: we can make it work Janis: you baby Janis: you can swallow Jimmy: alright, I'll do it for you 💕 Janis: true love Janis: [show up for this dinner moment] Jimmy: [Bobby and Twix casually cockblocking but not cos he made the kid sit up the table #smart while they can stay on the sofa where they make all their mems but Cass not because we may need her to actually in a bit] Janis: [good thinking boy, also Janis casually breathing a sigh of relief 'cos feels weird meeting his fam whilst it's fake tbh, not Ian fuck Ian but rude on the kids, like] Jimmy: [can you remember his house layout like was it open plan or what was the situation?] Janis: [nah we did a more closed off moment 'cos a rented house, like they had a lil hall, the garage off to one side, then the lounge then the kitchen with a table Jimmy: [okay yeah I do vaguely remember the sims house now] Janis: [so tuck in lads] Jimmy: [when it should be more awks than it is #foreverthemood] Janis: [moves so fast 'cos you so extraaaa] Jimmy: [so comfortable with each other even with all your #issues lads, love it] Janis: [#fated] Jimmy: [when you go get her a drink so you can check Twix ain't stole all Bobby's food and generally be a good big brother on the low] Janis: [yes, tis important, can't be allowed to just chill like you ain't got responsibilities] Jimmy: [she can just hear them being cute in that kitchen like] Janis: [a moment, good thing Bobby likes her when the time comes because she's not so extra with kids and in his face] Jimmy: [not always a 😒 sod, are you Jimothy? lol it's my fave when they are such a cute lil fam unit bye Ian] Janis: [we know you soft boy, and yas casually kick him out of his own home #notsoz] Jimmy: [he's back and he's raided his shit dad's stash cos never too early #fuckyouIan] Janis: [raising your brow but doing a golf clap #approved] Jimmy: [doing a cheers at her] Janis: ['you slipped the kid a nightcap, yeah?'] Jimmy: ['You wish' 😏] Janis: [😳😒] Janis: ['I meant, what passes as parenting 'round here, dickhead'] Jimmy: [to answer her question he goes to clear the table cos the little bab wants to 🎨] Janis: [get your art on babby] Jimmy: [such an unspoken I do, dickhead if there ever was one] Janis: [so domestic] Jimmy: [comes back to drink that drink and put some bollocks on the TV that neither of them care about] Janis: [standard, when you've basically downed yours 'cos nervous energy] Jimmy: [gives her a look but doesn't say anything] Janis: [a 'what?' look] Jimmy: [one back but we know he means what's wrong] Janis: [shakes head like don't worry, I'm good] Jimmy: ['Do you wanna go to my room?' Oh the MANY layers of meaning in that] Janis: [when you shrug 'if you like' but you clearly do 'cos you're halfway up] Jimmy: [when you bring more drinks as a shameless excuse to follow her cos you don't know if she meant she wants to be alone or she wants to be alone with you and you can't ask] Janis: ['purely medicinal, yeah?'] Jimmy: [a nod] Janis: [shrugs 'better than grapes' then puts out her hand 'do I get one?'] Jimmy: ['do you want one?' but in such a flirty manner that there is no need for] Janis: ['you know I do' matching tone 'cos obvs] Jimmy: ['take it then' boy you better stop] Janis: [does, sipping maintaining that eye contact honey] Jimmy: [likewise because gotta] Janis: ['stay' when you gotta add, quickly after a pause 'or I'll feel bad'] Jimmy: [when you make yourself comfortable cos you can make a big song and dance of doing it and hide how much you're dying rn 'can't have that, meant to be me' does the fakest cough of all time and 😏] Janis: ['oh right, yeah get in then' making a thing of getting your phone out and ready to give yourselves some time 'cos ultimately you're gonna hop on that bed and straight up put his head in your lap so you can take a pic stroking his hair] Jimmy: [when you pretend like she's got something on her face and you've gotta get it before any pics are taken but we know there isn't anything there and the boy is just being extra] Janis: ['better?' is she referring to her face or how he feels, we'll never know] Jimmy: [responds by taking her hair down #for the aesthetic bitch we all 👀 you just wanting to run your fingers through it bye] Janis: [still just stroking his hair but pulls it (gently calm down) when he takes hers down 'this is about you, not me'] Jimmy: ['it's about you an' all' when you gotta pause cos calm down with sounding like you care and also how much you wanna make that true in a sexy way 'whoever's story it ends up on'] Janis: [nods like alright and also what can she trust herself to say] Jimmy: [casually taking his top off like oh we should redo all of that as if anyone cares that much about the details #shameless] Janis: [when you're like true though and pull down whatever bottoms you have on like, gotta have that skin to skin moment bye] Jimmy: [trying not to die or look at her too shamelessly and failing at both lbr] Janis: [when you do an instagram story purely so you can kiss his forehead] Jimmy: [kill me tbh and I ain't even there] Janis: [how you gonna slow this down lads hohum] Jimmy: [literally cos we all know how he wants this his head in her lap situation to end and it isn't with a picture] Jimmy: [at least we have the kids and dog to cockblock] Janis: [true facts, gotta keep it family friendly] Jimmy: [me just forever being like how far can we push this before it's too far haha] Janis: [s'the point baby] Jimmy: [I'm thinking] Jimmy: [we need something #intimate to happen and bonus points if it's the first time too but idk] Jimmy: [not the #cute moment I was trying to think of but #duh while we've got them here we should do the ultimate playfight cliche since on a bed it's BLATANT and like she could poke him as a trampoline throwback cos they're still just lying there together #casual and be all I thought you'd fallen asleep cos pisstake at how tired he always is and of course like I said playfight ensues and we've got all that good shit like him tickling her and her squirming way more than necessary 👀 you both so of course he pins her down but not really cos we all know you could escape easily if you wanted to 👀 you still and SO much good eye contact and he pulls her hair and she bites her lip and he stares at it but OBVS before they can kiss Cass storms back through with a front door slam that puts Grace's school trip one to shame and has Twix wilding] Jimmy: [which leaves him nothing to do but say fuck's sake with more feeling than anyone has ever for all the reasons and go downstairs to talk to her aka have a row cos she's always in the mood and so's he now] Janis: [A+ idea boo] Janis: [whichever door they ain't at, she goes out] Jimmy: [don't blame you remotely girl] Janis: [lets some time pass] Janis: if you want anything bringing back, lmk Jimmy: ? Janis: ? Janis: what does that mean, easy enough question, ain't it Jimmy: What do you mean? Janis: that I've gone out, and if you need some milk or some shit, I'll bring some back later Janis: not offering to do a drugs run for you, soz Jimmy: and I've been out so what the fuck else would I need Janis: alright, simple no would suffice Jimmy: Would it? Janis: try it and find out Jimmy: You wish Janis: 🙄 Janis: not that arsed Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: sounds like it Janis: your lack of manners ain't my concern Janis: didn't ask you to say thanks or anything Jimmy: You can have it anyway Jimmy: tah for doing one when I'm up to my eyes here Janis: yeah, you're welcome, sarcasm ignored Janis: nothing I could do Jimmy: try it and find out Janis: like what, read your brother a bedtime story whilst you bollock your sister Jimmy: like not take the 1st chance you can to fuck off Janis: was giving you space to sort it out in private, actually Jimmy: bollocks Janis: how is that bollocks Jimmy: how ain't it? Janis: did I look ready to go out to you or what Janis: not got anything else to do in this town tonight Jimmy: Wouldn't know, didn't get a goodbye in Janis: fuck's sake Jimmy: You pissed off 'cause it got too real for you, owt else is bollocks Janis: you reckon that all you want Jimmy: Deny it all you want Jimmy: you can be full of chat about 'how this will only work if...' and how we need each other but you ain't standing by it Jimmy: gotta keep me in my box and that ain't the 4 walls of this house, yeah? Jimmy: Like I said, too real Janis: Stop being dramatic and chatting shite Janis: if that were it, I wouldn't offer to come back, would I Janis: I'd go, as planned Jimmy: Then what? Janis: what I said, dickhead Janis: I know what it is when everyone knows your family's shit Janis: I was getting out the way Jimmy: That were nowt Jimmy: you're gonna need a thicker fake skin, girl Janis: shut up Jimmy: Funny how you don't get in my way when there's washing up to be done, rich girl Janis: yeah, you caught me Jimmy: dry handed Jimmy: I know, like Janis: you're so unfunny it's unreal Jimmy: unreal is right Jimmy: you reckon you're getting my best material Janis: please, save it Jimmy: please, give me your permission again Jimmy: desperate for it, me Janis: no shit Janis: total gimp, you, s'obvious Jimmy: I get it, you want the mental pictures Jimmy: gotta do something with the alone time you've given yourself by doing one Janis: Means I've got 'em Janis: you owe me another lobotomy, or an acid deep clean Jimmy: put it on my tab, babe Janis: take it off mine and we're quits Janis: better idea Jimmy: Piss off Janis: I get it, you want me forever in your debt Jimmy: 'course I do Janis: mhmm Janis: like I said, transparent 👻 boy Jimmy: buy us 🚬 and I might let you back in 🧛 girl Jimmy: how's that for clear? Janis: pretend I don't know how much you want me back, crystal 👌 Jimmy: that's the 🐕 sweetheart, it ain't me Janis: whatever, the washing up moan was more convincing, babe Jimmy: done my convincing for the night, haven't I? Janis: part-timer Jimmy: keep it to yourself Janis: you ain't the only lad Janis: sure they'll find it very #relatable Jimmy: shut up Janis: 😂 Jimmy: such a dickhead Janis: you love being the best boyfriend in town, don't you Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Jimmy: you know the drill Janis: sure do Jimmy: You not pulling your weight only makes me look better Jimmy: so understanding and 💕 all that bollocks Janis: fuck off Janis: I do well more than you, boys just get sucked off for doing the literal bare minimum in any scenario, especially not being a total twat to girls Janis: don't get it twisted, dickhead Jimmy: you can have a 🏆 for the dance floor, that's about it Janis: bullshit Janis: you've got the easy job Janis: I've turned every bitch from saying I'm gay as a diss to being scared I'll steal their lad in no time Jimmy: You had one rumour about you 💔 I've got loads Jimmy: gotta keep up with them and prove them wrong Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: you don't listen as well as you reckon Janis: 💩 Jimmy: might be 'cause you had my 👂s off Janis: get over it Janis: how you ever cope with having a real girlfriend Jimmy: never baby 💕 Janis: idiot Jimmy: stop flirting with me for 1 sec OMG Jimmy: proper sweet talker, you Janis: about as delusional as her Janis: and as much chat Jimmy: actually 💔 now Janis: ikr Janis: imagine actually being her Janis: gutting Jimmy: you're alright, tah, I won't Janis: but you love the pain Janis: what's up? Jimmy: Better ways to get a dose of it, like inviting you down the pub Jimmy: coming or what? Janis: cute 💕 Janis: guess so Janis: have to disappoint some lads but that's just how it is when you're so in demand Jimmy: so much enthusiasm be still my 💘 Jimmy: one on the corner, I'll be the mug getting them in Janis: 👍 Janis: not been gone that long Janis: remember what you look like Jimmy: #unforgettable Jimmy: send tweet Janis: 😂 Janis: I'll sign off on that Janis: pretty odd looking, it sticks with you Jimmy: You can do better Jimmy: with insults and lads obvs Janis: 🤷 I mean Janis: I'm sure you can get lads too, mate Jimmy: 👴💕 Janis: 😂 that's why you wanna go pub Janis: how rude to invite me Jimmy: you wanted a third, babe Janis: well we gotta agree Jimmy: do owt to please you, you know that Janis: 🤤 Jimmy: 😍 Janis: cute Janis: don't reckon there's any fitting another person in your bed though Janis: have to wait Jimmy: the lounge has got loads of floor space, be alright Janis: oh right, lock the dog in the kitchen and the kids in their rooms Janis: it's a party Jimmy: 🤞 Ian's in here having an after work #sesh so I can whip his 🔑 off him an' all Janis: oh, a good point Janis: no one needs that Jimmy: Our 🎉 been pissed on 'cause I don't 👀 him Jimmy: @iantaylor8 do one, mate 👍 Janis: put a DND on the door Janis: old school Jimmy: DNR on the 👴💕 Janis: standard practice when you're 😈 Jimmy: you stopped blagging you're 😇 now then? Janis: can do both, multi-talented Jimmy: Good Jimmy: dunno how I feel about the end of an era Janis: you like good girls, huh Janis: don't be spreading that about me, tah Jimmy: don't get #badder than my ex so from now on, yeah Jimmy: but alright, your secret halo is safe Janis: 🍻 drown those sorrows, I'm nearly there Jimmy: had loads of 🍺 and 👴💕 already tah Jimmy: you'll have to go some to keep up Janis: slag 😏 Jimmy: don't be spreading that about me Jimmy: fighting lasses off every day as is Janis: you poor thing Janis: did you not think about just going gay Janis: fake gay, that is Jimmy: I know 🎻🎻 things I do for you, Jules Jimmy: just ain't believable that Janis: what, you're SO straight 😂 Jimmy: I mean, this lad at work is a right stunner but getting him to be my fake boyfriend would be a bit harder than it were getting you to make 😍 at me Jimmy: he's proper busy with the ☕ Janis: piss off Jimmy: needed a rich girl with nowt to do Janis: don't need to repeat myself, thanks, see above Jimmy: 😏 Janis: don't smirk at me cunt Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 then Janis: go away Janis: was a school trip, no one had anything better to do Jimmy: come here Janis: outside Janis: got your cigarettes Jimmy: [appears like oh hey just casually sticking his head out the door and looking around dramatically like ?? cos nerd] Janis: [🙄 'you really are a shit actor, you know'] Jimmy: [shrugs 'got everyone I need to fooled'] Janis: [a shrug 'if you say so' and holding out the pack, which she's already taken one from] Jimmy: ['you just heard me' takes one obvs] Janis: ['what's that count for' when you've bought your own lighter so you've lit your own #ultimateshade] Jimmy: [🙄 how weird it'd feel to just light his own at this point like] Janis: [awkward] Jimmy: [awkward silent moody smoking ftw] Janis: [always] Jimmy: [leaning against the wall to show how #overit you are, oh life] Janis: 😎 Jimmy: *😎🚬 Janis: thanks to me Jimmy: and what? Jimmy: 👏 Janis: begins with a t Jimmy: you are being a twat, yeah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: very clever Jimmy: 🏆🧠 Janis: go celebrate then, dickhead Jimmy: gimme chance to finish my 🚬 damn girl Janis: [walks further away to finish hers] Jimmy: [walks up to her cos that dickhead] Janis: ['What part of this aren't you getting?'] Jimmy: [just giving her a look like what] Janis: ['I said, go away, remember'] Jimmy: ['what's that count for, you said that an' all, remember'] Janis: ['you're so fucking- annoying'] Jimmy: ['Is coming here gonna make me any less annoying?'] Janis: ['what?'] Jimmy: [gestures for her to come in the pub and have a drink with him] Janis: [when you're just looking at him exasperated af but then stomp in before him] Jimmy: [gets drinks and puts hers down in front of her like there you go without asking what she wanted, bit rude] Janis: [doesn't say thanks, obvs] Jimmy: [when you've swapped awkward silent moody 🚬 for awkward silent moody 🍺] Janis: [#goals lmao] Jimmy: [truly] Jimmy: You're Jimmy: [when you deliberately are vague af] Janis: go on Janis: say what you wanna say Jimmy: You're just Jimmy: [when you shake your head like NOPE abort mission] Janis: fine Janis: [🙄 and getting up to get more drinks] Jimmy: [forever not realising drinks aren't a good idea you two, god bless] Janis: [when you're probably chatting more to the bartender than you are to the person you're with rn oh lads] Jimmy: [when seeing that'd put you in an even better mood which is great Jimothy thanks so much] Janis: [coming back, putting the drinks down, then going straight to the bogs like brb] Jimmy: [you know he'll have probably downed that by the time she gets back #suchfun] Janis: [back like okay] Janis: how many you had? Jimmy: [shrugs because not enough clearly] Janis: cheat Jimmy: 1. didn't accept no challenge Jimmy: 2. rebel with only one cause, remember Jimmy: 3. you famously don't play by the rules, why should I? Janis: 1. you said catch up Janis: 2. how can i Janis: 3. dickhead Jimmy: I said you'd have to be going some Jimmy: and you will Janis: Oh, will I? Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: crack on Janis: wow love it when you get all demanding Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: Missed you too Janis: 'course Janis: 💘 Jimmy: [just on his phone like a rude bitch, I'm like LORD let that booze kick in soon please] Janis: [lol like boy you asked her here, twice] Jimmy: [HONESTLY give it up bitch you're ridiculous] Janis: 💬 Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: your turn Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: [goes] Janis: third? Jimmy: Why you trying to make me do maths in the holidays? Janis: the maths is would you bang the barman or nah Jimmy: would you? Janis: [shamelessly staring like 🤔 at this poor man who's probably 30 odd and not cute enough to go there like soz] Janis: not by first choice, nah Jimmy: There's your answer then Janis: considerate as ever, darling Jimmy: owt to please you, I said Janis: I know Janis: but we know what I said and all Jimmy: weren't listening me Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [puts drink in front of her with a look like you alright then?] Janis: [look back like are you? but nods too] Jimmy: [drinking instead of answering] Janis: ['I can go, if you've got shit to sort'] Jimmy: [shaking his head so casually but the 👀 are like DON'T] Janis: ['good, break my heart if you sent me back to that lot' smiles weakly like joking but not really] Jimmy: ['What kind of dickhead would take the only job you've ever had and turn it round on you, rich girl'] Janis: [🙄 'imagine'] Jimmy: ['don't wanna, it's bloody tragic'] Janis: [kicks him under the table, but not full pelt lol] Jimmy: [throws a beer mat at her with an oi but also not that hard obvs] Janis: [just ripping it up casually] Jimmy: 🎊👰💕 Janis: [😏] Janis: lemme know when you meet her and I'll practice my overarm Jimmy: throw it over whoever you wanna bring back, gimme the warning Jimmy: 🤞👴 Janis: [lols] Janis: [takes a big look around and shakes head like nah, not feeling it] Jimmy: I get it, Ian still ain't showed 💔 Jimmy: I'll get some 🎻🎻 on the box for you, mate Janis: ha 🖕 Janis: after careful consideration, I can't hack being your step mum, thanks but no thanks Jimmy: take the 🐕 leave the rest, I know Janis: nah, your sibs seem fine too, sure Ian is the daddy I've dreamed him to be too Janis: it's all you 💔 Jimmy: 😭😭😭 Janis: Poor baby Janis: want comforting again yeah Jimmy: Depends Janis: yes, it will be me doing the comforting Janis: can't guarantee anyone else at such short notice Jimmy: but are you gonna do what you did before or have you got new tricks? Janis: Depends Jimmy: On how much time you can blag for yourself by borrowing mine? Not much, girl Jimmy: not if you're using that one any road Janis: no Jimmy: Go on then Jimmy: what? Janis: on what angle you're hitting 📸 Janis: only so much the Instagram guidelines allow for Jimmy: that'll be every 💕 Janis: then what do you expect Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: 🥇 for the 'gram and 🥇 comforting ain't the same thing Janis: shocking, I know Jimmy: I said nowt about the 'gram that were you Janis: Why ever else would we do it? Janis: [a LOOK] Jimmy: [gives one back] Jimmy: might fancy snapchat Janis: only if they pay Janis: 60/40 me Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: you don't need the 💰💰 Janis: don't mean I work for free Jimmy: send me a bill then, babe Janis: after Jimmy: 👍 Janis: What were you gonna say Jimmy: When? Janis: Earlier Janis: you never said what I was Jimmy: nowt Janis: bollocks Janis: you can say it Janis: heard it all before Jimmy: I dunno Jimmy: leave it out Janis: fine Janis: drink up Janis: [goes bar] Jimmy: just Janis: don't bother, why'd you tell the truth anyway, yeah Jimmy: take whatever you said about me and replay it in a northern accent Jimmy: that'll do Janis: non-committal enough Janis: idek what I said so 👍 Jimmy: sorted, like Janis: sure Jimmy: I actually dunno though, alright Jimmy: what you are Janis: racist Janis: after you made me break down my heritage too Janis: plain rude Jimmy: bit rude to say I made you, Jill Janis: well, you to a T that Jimmy: you reckon you've got me to a T, yeah? Janis: want me to say I can't work you out and all? Jimmy: Do you want me to chat bollocks or leave it for you to do? Janis: chat something Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'cos why am I here otherwise Jimmy: you wanted a drink, you've got a drink Janis: when did I ask for a drink Jimmy: no need Jimmy: I dunno how to describe you in one word that don't mean I know nowt Jimmy: could've said pisshead for a start Janis: yeah you reckoned I smoked as well Janis: nice one columbo Jimmy: and as I'm so wrong you won't want one Jimmy: [struts out] Janis: I'm gonna drink yours, twat Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: well convincing it's only social, that Janis: what do you want me to say, I'll piss in it Janis: not that committed to fucking you up Jimmy: can't ever just leave it, can you? Jimmy: goes for nowt Janis: you started it Jimmy: you Janis: you you you Jimmy: how did I? Janis: you wouldn't tell me what you said Janis: now you've pissed off Jimmy: I fucking Jimmy: I went for a smoke 'cause I can admit it's a habit Janis: Well I'm not gonna lie 'cos you wanna hear I got a drinking problem or some shit Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: I've got other ways I deal with my shit, alright Jimmy: and I'm not trying to get an invite on a run, alright Janis: What you saying Janis: smoking isn't your thing, you don't own it Jimmy: it ain't yours either, you said Janis: I can do it as and when I want Jimmy: 👏🏆 Janis: oh, fuck off Jimmy: make up your mind Jimmy: you were trying to kick off at me for leaving your side a bit ago Janis: I'm fucking tired Janis: I'm going Jimmy: Let me finish my drink that you better not have touched and we'll go Janis: You can stay Jimmy: I don't want to Janis: okay Jimmy: [reappears to down that drink like come on then] Janis: [when you go to grab his hand instinctively 'cos ages of people watching you but then drop it like it's hot like shit] Jimmy: [when you just take her hand again anyway like you gotta drag her away from here kicking and screaming lol instead of the fact you know she wants to leave so badly that you didn't even sit down to neck that pint] Janis: ['when you get up in the night, don't stand on me, like'] Jimmy: [It ain't me with the freakishly long legs, girl. How do you reckon I'm gonna make that happen from the next room?'] Janis: [pouts] Jimmy: [gives her a look like ?? but less dickhead-ish than he's been doing it] Janis: [shakes head like nevermind] Jimmy: [cups her face because he can pretend he's being fake with it if he needs to even if the genuine soft tones of his voice could give him away if he knew how much of a #softboy he is 'what, babe?'] Janis: [acts like she's gonna bite his hand literal but just pushes it away hastily 'nothing, I thought you were staying'] Jimmy: ['I'll have the floor then'] Janis: [shakes head 'don't be stupid'] Jimmy: ['You'] Janis: ['s'your bed, dickhead'] Jimmy: [You're tired, dickhead. Just take it off me'] Janis: ['can sleep anywhere, like'] Jimmy: ['my bed'll suit you alright then'] Janis: [shakes head like no point arguing on this anymore] Jimmy: [gives her a look like too right there isn't cos you're having my bed, end of discussion] Janis: ['don't sleep on the floor' what does that mean what are you wondering what do you know] Jimmy: [nods which is about as cryptic, oh lads] Janis: ['your sister beat you in a fight then too?'] Jimmy: ['you saying you fancy your chances?' it's really hard to make everything a question omg] Janis: [😏 'only heard her so I ain't making any bets with you, tah'] Jimmy: [😏 'spoilsport'] Janis: ['cheat' tuts like honestly] Jimmy: ['don't be throwing words like that about out loud, tah'] Janis: [looks around dramatically 's'fine, don't reckon they're tailing us'] Jimmy: [takes her hand again and like swings it how you do to a kid while he also looks around dramatically] Janis: ['left your brother at home, mate' but not pulling away or stopping him ok] Jimmy: [when you'd normally have some #bants about that but you're tired too so you're just walking and handholding nbd] Janis: [a nice lil moment] Jimmy: [I feel like the pub ain't that far from his house so may as well enjoy that while it lasts kids] Janis: [exactly dr phil] Jimmy: [getting back and not knowing if your dad is home or not #joys (we know he isn't but Jimmy don't have that luxury) so you immediately get tense af] Janis: [awkward, get you up in the room girl] Jimmy: [when you have to go check your siblings and tell them you're back cos you all have separation anxiety but lowkey so your fake girlfriend don't think you're weird] Jimmy: need owt? Janis: nah, I'm good Janis: thanks Jimmy: [bringing her water anyway cos you don't want the night to be over yet in case she's gone in the AM #blatant] Janis: [just smiling like 'I'll give you 5 stars'] Jimmy: ['hang on, it ain't vodka, like'] Janis: ['lucky I don't throw it in your face then' 🙄😏] Jimmy: ['least I'd impress you by catching it in my mouth if it were'] Janis: ['right little optimist, you'] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: ['what other tricks you got then, boy?'] Jimmy: [Shrugs 'Don't have a dog to perform myself'] Janis: [yawns half shade/half actual] Jimmy: [when you're just leaving like okay then] Janis: ['oi'] Jimmy: [when you've basically got a hand on the door to go but you still turn around because of course you do] Janis: ['...night then' like that weren't all bitch we all know it] Jimmy: [You gonna be cold? It's april boy I doubt it but he's taking off his hoodie or jumper or whatever soft thing he's got on and putting it on her because just he just wants touch her without making that obvious but also CARES bitch] Janis: [nods all the same 'tuck us in then'] Jimmy: [does obvs, picking her up and carrying her there first if he needs to because idk if she's stood up like him by this door or wut] Janis: [allowing it 'cos I wanna] Jimmy: [when you open your mouth to say about 40000 things but you can't so you just close it again like nothing to see] Janis: ['yeah' 'cos same boy, same] Jimmy: ['I were just wondering if I should take your breakfast order but depends if I pull another sickie or bother to go in' boy you were not such a lie but that is a good question of what to do with tomorrow I'll give you that] Janis: ['make a thing of it and they might send you a fruit basket, or a search party, risk you could take, like' shrugs] Jimmy: ['if the search party's headed up by my best customers that's a massive risk, management not as much' shrugs back and once again attempts his exit] Janis: [turning over like okay night 'smoothie was good' re. if he does go in] Jimmy: [stopping like this is a mansion instead of a box room 'we can make a thing of it either way, if you want'] Janis: ['that'll be alright, yeah' when you're saying that into your pillow like hope you can hear] Jimmy: [when you nod but she can't see you] Janis: [let him go hoe] Jimmy: [I'm gonna say he does but do a little time skip to later because he can't sleep obvs and I have no chill] Jimmy: Hey Janis: what's up? Janis: beside you Jimmy: you an' all Jimmy: why ain't you asleep? Janis: sleeps for the weak, like Jimmy: gimme my bed back then Janis: I said you could have it from the off Jimmy: Go to sleep, dickhead Janis: why Jimmy: 😴💤 Janis: I know you didn't start a convo just to see if I was asleep or nah Jimmy: might've done Janis: could've popped your head 'round the door Janis: or made a shit joke about snoring keeping you up Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: 🐕 snores louder than anyone and she's in here anyway Janis: cosy Jimmy: I'll chuck her in with you if you're 💔 Jimmy: and awake Janis: if you like Janis: thought you were coming to get your bed anyway Jimmy: Got your name on it tonight, mate Janis: come on, I don't need it Janis: I'll crash on your sofa 'til it's light Janis: gone before any of 'em wake up, easy Jimmy: I don't need it either Jimmy: but if I have to tie owt round the door to keep you in, challenge accepted Janis: 😏 Janis: really Jimmy: I mean, 🤞 I tucked you in and you'll stay in, but alright Jimmy: 🏆💪 Janis: cute Janis: say you underestimate me but it's that optimism, yeah? Jimmy: I know how much you love it, babe Janis: hmm we'll be nice and say it's refreshing Jimmy: be nice and stay put instead of me having to rig a trip wire or some bollocks Janis: alright, alright Janis: no need to go home alone Janis: how long are you keeping me captive though Janis: things to do Jimmy: least if we were I might be able to sleep Jimmy: comes to something when you're the least annoying person I've shared a bed with Jimmy: let you out when it goes from #goals to #weird Janis: charming Janis: is he asleep or Jimmy: 👑 me Jimmy: he ain't 💀💀💀 Jimmy: that'll be me tomorrow if I go work Janis: well, if you let me go Janis: can rock up at opening time and tell them how sick you still are Jimmy: if I let you go, won't see you for dust Jimmy: such an athlete, like Janis: well yeah, I will go to the gym after Janis: just hoping it's the fit one opening obvs Jimmy: get your own fit colleagues, I 😍 him first Janis: 💔 I'm faster Jimmy: that'll be why I were 🥇 in a race against you Janis: 1. you cheat Janis: 2. sure he will if you beg hard enough, don't cry Jimmy: 1. shut up I can't hear the 🎻 over you being a massive 😭 loser Jimmy: 2. piss off Janis: oh please, your one good lung would collapse before you could even eat my dust in an actual race Jimmy: long as it holds out for me to go have a 🚬 Janis: 🙄 Janis: yay or nay to the actual plan though, idiot Jimmy: Well on board for a race to my 💀💀💀 death obvs 🎊 Janis: DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL IN SICK FOR YOU OR NO Jimmy: You can calm down, your boyfriend ain't opening up, no need to shout Jimmy: nowt in it for you either Janis: not an answer Jimmy: I don't have a smoothie maker here and I ain't cashing in an IOU on that bollocks Jimmy: there you go Janis: don't need one that bad Janis: but alright Janis: go sleep then Jimmy: not out here, it's freezing Jimmy: 🤞 when I get back in Janis: all that talk of 🚬 got you excited Jimmy: keep that 💕 between us though Janis: everyone's seen you Janis: clearly your 😎 appeal is so great, they'll deal with the bad breath Jimmy: but if they ask you're my 🥇 Janis: not forgot what we're doing here Janis: don't worry Jimmy: 👍 Janis: why'd you move here Jimmy: Why are you asking me? Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Janis: why not Janis: reasonable question Jimmy: reasonable that you've said you don't need or wanna know owt about me an' all Jimmy: What's changed? Janis: got time to kill, ain't we Jimmy: and that's what you wanna do with it? Janis: not my first choice Jimmy: do whatever is then Janis: just don't answer Jimmy: 🙀 is you, Judith Janis: then Janis: ? Janis: hardly a probing question, calm down Jimmy: he got a job here, I didn't fancy being homeless so I came with Jimmy: alright? Janis: why wouldn't it be Jimmy: I dunno the answer you want Janis: erm, the one that's real Janis: not asking for a bedtime story here Jimmy: force of habit Jimmy: our kid has to have 6 Janis: one for every year Janis: classic Janis: gets a bit out of hand when 10 of you try it though so Jimmy: thank fuck Ian ain't that fertile then Janis: 🤢 don't Janis: it's fucking grim Jimmy: 💔 my face fits Jimmy: can't say I ain't his Jimmy: can't knock yours that hard if most of your lot looks like you do Janis: diversitys lacking but he ain't the only black man about Janis: 🤷 Jimmy: yeah but 10 kids looking like that would get you all the 👶🏆 regardless Jimmy: well 9 'cause there's Grace Janis: shut up 🙄 Janis: beautiful baby competitions aren't that lucrative Jimmy: sure my ex is 💔💔💔 Janis: cute then? Janis: that's something Janis: most babies are ugly Jimmy: nah she'd have to rig it Jimmy: cheating comes natural though Janis: ouch Jimmy: 🤷 Jimmy: there's your bedtime story Janis: not meant to be sad Janis: no wonder he's after 6 Janis: happily ever after, dickhead Jimmy: I ain't still with her 💍👶👰 so it were Jimmy: and far as he knows we're 💕 Janis: well I won't get pregnant to end this so Janis: still coming off favourably Jimmy: Ian will be chuffed Jimmy: and what greater seal of approval is there? Janis: idk Janis: starting to question his existense tbh Janis: 😎 runs in the genes too, yeah Jimmy: 👻 does Janis: same Janis: definitely not related Jimmy: don't worry I ain't gonna come round yours with a white sheet thrown on Jimmy: bit controversial Jimmy: stick to the burning ✞ Janis: come on Janis: be a laugh Janis: call it performance art Jimmy: til I get lynched myself Jimmy: proper outnumbered Janis: nah Janis: they're all pussies Janis: nothing like me, I told you Jimmy: you don't know I ain't Jimmy: never seen me fight Janis: protect you, go on Jimmy: lend us your lighter and I'll think about it Jimmy: mine's 💀👻 Janis: trace the burning ✞ back to me and all Janis: no idiot Janis: but whatever, one sec Jimmy: chuck it out the window, Juliet Jimmy: no need to run Janis: may as well have one myself Jimmy: I get it, you don't reckon I can catch it Janis: I know you can't Janis: also know you won't give it back Jimmy: I'll give it you back tomorrow Janis: fucking hell, if you don't wanna even sit with me, I'll go out front, like Jimmy: Shut up Jimmy: can't do tricks out front Janis: [comes out in his hoodie obvs 'cos you said it was freezing but we know she ain't taken it off, like] Jimmy: [is visibly cold af cos been out here ages and gave her his clothes] Janis: ['you idiot' coming at him with said hoodie] Jimmy: [is so much no because bitch you're keeping that] Janis: [🙄 like come here then and wrapping it round them both] Jimmy: [letting that happen because we all wanna] Janis: [rubbing his arms to warmth them 'can get the duvet if you want'] Jimmy: ['be going back in in a bit, it's alright'] Janis: [nods but pulls it tighter/him closer] Jimmy: [again letting that happen shamelessly lol] Janis: [they'd be like so face to face rn it'd be ridiculous 'cos same height, the only way you're avoiding that tension is if you put your head on his shoulder and that's not intimate at all nah] Jimmy: [when you're just playing with her hair like it's in your way and you gotta stop it from harassing you but 👀 you really boy] Janis: [scary grace impression 'don't mess up my hair!'] Jimmy: [lols 'don't do that, it's proper accurate'] Janis: [😏 'spent an unfortunate amount of time with her, least she can give me is a decent impression'] Jimmy: ['I don't want her here or the PTSD tah'] Janis: ['yeah, yeah, you want the lighter I ain't forgot' but not giving it him 'cos vital he be warmthed first obvs] Jimmy: ['I do but-' not finishing that sentence because #danger] Janis: [no escaping how hard she can look at you from this distance though] Jimmy: ['I don't wanna wake him up and the fucking dog will longer I leave going back in, so don't fight me on the floor thing when we do, alright?'] Janis: ['course', I'm not as arsehole' pauses 'I just don't see why you won't take the bed and I'll go on the sofa-' when you say this last bit faster than the rest '-or just share with me it's not like we haven't before'] Jimmy: [nods and tries not to breathe too much 'Really committed to warming me back up, you. Fine then.'] Janis: ['something like that' hands him the lighter] Jimmy: [we know the drill here, ladies first lol] Janis: [when you should really separate to smoke but you just turn so he's behind you 🥄🚬 moment ] Jimmy: [take your chance to shamelessly stare at her boy] Jimmy: [and he should blatantly take a pic because imagine how beautiful she'd look rn and the lighting would be so interesting] Janis: [do it for your 🎨 and 😍 boy] Jimmy: [honestly and it'll stop you saying or doing anything else that you shouldn't] Janis: ['do you reckon I could do it properly..model, like?'] Jimmy: ['Yeah' OMG he answered a question] Janis: [when she's surprised he don't shade her like oh but does best to hide that 'my sister is. Good way out, since I'm not getting deported'] Jimmy: ['I'll look forward to seeing your face on a billboard or whatever and saying I didn't know you' because don't you just hate when peeps pretend to be your bestie when you die/are famous, yep me and Jimmy too] Janis: ['tah, glad it meant so much to ya, mate'] Jimmy: ['It obvs meant everything to me, that's why I've gotta repress all those perfect memories, babe. Tah for that.'] Janis: [turns and 😘 with some smoke coming with] Jimmy: ['see, can't do better than you'] Janis: ['I know, I feel really bad for you, actually. Tragedy.'] Jimmy: [does the violin mime 'get in line, girl, let you jump it a bit 'cause I like you'] Janis: ['yeah?'] Jimmy: [😘 back at her because getting too real there] Janis: [catches it and turns back] Jimmy: [🚬 in silence for a bit because close call] Janis: 'what's your mate called, then?'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like he has no idea who she means] Janis: ['Barista boy'] Jimmy: ['He ain't my mate then, is he'] Janis: ['Your mans, I'm sorry'] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [nudges back like tell me then] Jimmy: ['Do your own homework, it's the holidays'] Janis: ['such a cockblock, you'] Jimmy: [😒 but trying not to let it show and doing the 💔 with his hands so she'll look there instead] Janis: ['yeah right' and pushing his hands down] Jimmy: [usual Oi and scuffle moment as standard] Janis: [just playfighting always] Jimmy: [when you're just like come on because can't stay out here forever] Janis: ['you finally done?'] Jimmy: [CLEARLY still in his jealousy and thinking about her fucking Pete so walking away] Janis: [just like um excuse me but going too 'cos not gonna stay outside to be awkward] Jimmy: [getting ready for bed moodily lol lol lol] Janis: [when you don't even know what's changed the vibe but what you gonna say, just taking the hoodie and whatever you put on your bottom off] Jimmy: [deliberately not looking at her cos you're in a sulk and can't trust yourself not to say something] Janis: [this won't be awkward at all, lads, time to cram into this bed like there's any option but to snuggle] Jimmy: [who is big 🥄 and who's little?] Janis: [if she's little he can be 'mad' about her hair in his face] Jimmy: [true just #fuming] Janis: ['night'] Jimmy: [when you don't say it back, we know you ain't asleep yet boy] Janis: ['dick'] Jimmy: [a very unamused sound in response like it's her fault you're a jealous dickhead okay then] Janis: [turning 'round in this bed which is treacherous tbh and poking him like what is your problem] Jimmy: [shaking his head because literally what can he say and don't even start me on the position of them both in this tiny bed] Janis: [such a grumpy face] Jimmy: [when she looks so CUTE that it changes your face to 😏 to hide your genuine 😍😊] Janis: ['I'd push you if I wouldn't fall too, and your brother wasn't asleep, lucky' pokes him in the chest again for emphasis on the lucky] Jimmy: ['Nah, you're well anti me being on the floor, said it loads'] Janis: ['plans change, it happens'] Jimmy: [shrugs 'ain't like it'd be the first bruise I'd had off you, least this one'd be real'] Janis: ['can be arranged] Jimmy: ['go on'] Janis: ['later'] Jimmy: ['You ain't gotta be scared or owt, do it'] Janis: ['you're too loud'] Jimmy: [does a 🤐 gesture] Janis: [just LOOKing like are we on the same page I don't think so] Jimmy: [giving her such a look back, kill me tbh] Janis: [we all know she's gonna lovebite him, like] Jimmy: [forever letting shit happen because I want to] Janis: [going hard like the time you nearly took my nip off 'cos challenged and the levels of frustration] Jimmy: [and has anyone ever bit their own lip as hard as he'd have to in this moment jfc because likewise challenged not to be a loud bitch but we know he is and wants to be] Janis: [just keeps looking up to see that struggle like 😏 but also going back in more times than is necessary like] Jimmy: [holding onto her hair not in a soft way because damn people have died struggling less than he is rn] Janis: [the struggle is shared lbr, pulling away, SOMEHOW, 'satisfied?' 😏 you know damn well neither of you are] Jimmy: [just gesturing to his closed mouth with a shrug like I'm not allowed to talk so and we all know he'd need more than a minute if he was gonna] Janis: [just, ( and not very gently), touching all the bruises she just did like 🤔 hmm] Jimmy: [dying but not stopping her because this is all so NBD of course yep] Janis: [shaking her head 'don't worry, did 'em where no one will see, can't let work know how much fun you were having in your sick bed, like'] Jimmy: I reckon the manager's a fan Jimmy: seen him scrolling Janis: well, don't let him take advantage of you, like Janis: more dubious than 🤤 Jimmy: don't do work romances me Janis: 💔 Jimmy: sure that's how my dad reckons all his feel Jimmy: probably more celebratory in reality though Jimmy: based on what they wrote in his 'glad you're fucking off' cards Janis: I get you Janis: watch out for Ian from accounts vibes Janis: not #goals Jimmy: he ain't, soz to piss on your 💍 goals Janis: oh well Janis: think of something, like Jimmy: 🏆🧠 you, like Janis: Obviously Janis: he ain't gonna be pissed off at you that I'm here, is he Janis: probably doesn't know, like Janis: can use my ninja skills Jimmy: he'd have to come home to find out Jimmy: fuck all chance of that Janis: didn't know if he had Janis: his office wifey(s), I guess? Jimmy: Why would he? I'm here, means he don't have to be Janis: yeah, who wants to spend time with their offspring Jimmy: let you know when I meet someone who does Janis: s'shit Janis: why bother reproducing Jimmy: we were all accidents, he just put his name to us Janis: I guess Janis: once is an accident, three times getting dangerously close to a habit Jimmy: full of bad habits him Janis: and not even 😎 with it Janis: actually tragic Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: oh well Janis: won't sleep with my shoes on, then Jimmy: not if you're gonna kick me Jimmy: alright for injuries, tah Janis: shut up, you wanted them Jimmy: You planning to get into the habit of giving me what I want? Janis: depends Jimmy: don't it always Janis: you tell me Jimmy: Tell you what, that it's a bad idea to go with a worse habit? Janis: worse than what Jimmy: owt I've got Jimmy: so don't do nowt for me Janis: whatever Jimmy: 👍 Janis: don't flatter yourself Jimmy: weren't Jimmy: I were flattering you Janis: sure you were Janis: you ain't more deadly than 🚬 😎boy, calm down Jimmy: you can do better, I've already said, don't have to sound like a 🚭 campaign about it, mate but if that's what gets through your 👂 to that 🧠 Janis: oh please Jimmy: begging ain't a mind changer but crack on Janis: I ain't begging no one but don't patronize me Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: [turns and gets as much space between as is physically possible] Jimmy: [finally says 'night' to her] Jimmy: [breaking that silence for it lol] Janis: [makes a similar noise of disgust] Jimmy: [then he's just moving and fussing for an age, soz about it] Janis: [doing a big sigh and getting up and out] Jimmy: ['hang on' before you can stop yourself or she can go] Janis: [looks back like what] Jimmy: [just looking at her like he did at the party when he dragged her away from Harry and was like DON'T] Janis: [when you can't just get back in 'cos you'll look stupid but you do change your plan 'where's your loo?'] Jimmy: [he tells her because idk the layout as usual] Janis: [👍] Jimmy: [just having a sad soft boy moment hoping she'll brb] Janis: [does and silently gets back in] Jimmy: [swap 🥄s kids, when you actually breathe a sigh of relief though that your bae is back #same] Janis: [should probably let them go to sleep lol] Jimmy: [just gotta have him whisper that he's sorry when he reckons she is but yeah sleep and snuggle guys]

[itsfunnierin-enochian]

Oh, What A Mess We Made

Pairing: Rob Benedict x Reader

My Beta ❤: @gettingbywithalittlehelp96

Summary: A quiet night out with your friend takes an unexpected turn but, true to yourself, you decide to have a good time and take the most of it.

Chapter 1

With the amount of heartbreaks you’d had in your life, you weren't one to fall for anyone, or at least it didn’t happen fast or easily. Most of time you walked free through life, and even though you met a lot of people all the time, you never let them in that far. Really you were just having fun, and once you realized you could have fun without being involved with anyone you started to see things with different eyes, which allowed you to enjoy life more and not waste your Friday nights, for example, lying in bed crying for a guy. You stopped suffering over the wrong people and decided to kick life in the ass and enjoy every moment of it.

Of course with it, like with everything else, there was always that chance that your plan could fail...

You and your friend used to love discovering all these kinds of places to go hang out at and today you ended up in a bar, that was pretty cool. The atmosphere was quiet and enjoyable and even had bands playing live. That was the thing you liked the most. Music was one of your biggest pleasures in life. The only thing that made you feel free and made you enjoy things like you used to.

You started with shots, mostly to ease your friend's nerves. She was meeting a guy who she’d been “dating” online with for the last couple of months, and this was the first time they were meeting. She was so full of hopes that you really didn't want to say or do anything to spoil her night, But you really didn't see this ending well. Starting with the fact that the guy hadn’t messaged her during the day, not even once to check how they were going to recognise the other that night. Besides you had warned her at the beginning, so tonight you weren't about to tell her anything. You were just there to support her as much as she needed. For good or bad.

The band playing that night, intrigued you as well. It was a local band that was called Louden Swain. You could recognise the name but couldn't remember a song, or if you've ever heard one, so you knew if nothing else it would be nice to listen to them and see if you actually did know them. Luckily the time the band was due on stage and the time your friend was meeting her date was the same, so you would be entertained while she did her thing.

You could feel her nails tapping on the table and that was driving you crazy to say the least, making you more nervous than her.

“Dude, stop that!” You scolded, half joking, half serious.

“I-I’m sorry, it's just… I'm so nervous” she replied with a little voice that was barely audible.

“No way, really? I didn't notice,” you replied sarcastically and walked around the table to stand by her side and wrap an arm around her shoulder. “Listen girl, you just need to relax okay? Here take my drink, calm yourself down, and just think, you already like each other and he likes you for what you truly are, and that is the most important and basic rule in life. Be yourself.”

You were trying to cheer her up, those words were honest but still in your guts you had a weird feeling about this, but with the way she looked at you with that special glow in her eyes, you weren’t about to tell her how you felt or how she reminded you of yourself, all bright-eyed, falling for a guy that smoothed talked their way in just to break your heart.

“Thank you Y/N, thank you for being with me today, if something goes wrong-” she started but you interrupted her.

“Nothing will go wrong, lovely, nothing. Just be yourself and enjoy wherever the universe leads you,” you said and kissed her cheek. “Besides we will have music and music makes everything alright.”

As you kept drinking she looked at you, and smiled. She knew you. She knew deep down that you were thinking the same thing she was.

Minutes seemed to fly and before you knew it the band was doing their opening and as you and your friend, stood there cheering on the guys you noticed someone approaching her. When she hugged him, you breathed out and relaxed. Feeling a little pinch in your arm you saw how they walked off to the bar. He seemed nice as they were talking very close to each other and all, so you relaxed even more seeming as things were okay for the moment.

The band sounded so so good. the guys seemed to be really nice guys, and hot. They all had something but they weren't a traditional boy band, they were like a legit band, a band that you thought should be selling out bigger venues and not bars, so you were hoping that this was just some kind of a sporadic concert for the locals that couldn't see them somewhere else. You loved some of the songs they were playing, and made mental note to look them up later, especially the frontman… the frontman was something. You couldn’t catch his name, since you were talking to your friend when they had been announced, but boy did he look good.

Before the set ended, you looked over, doing a double take, before realising you friend was back beside you and not with a happy face, like she should have after meeting a guy who she’d been talking with for months, but red and puffy from all her tears. You just wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her to you, letting her cry. Letting her take it all out, because you knew that's what she needed in that moment. After a couple minutes you walked to the restrooms with your arms wrapped around her, grabbing some paper towels and drying her face while she kept crying, until she finally was able to take a deep breath in and out without sobbing.

“You know what I want?” She asked, as she stepped out of one of the stalls.

Looking up at her you noticed the two other girls in the room had done the same.

“I'm listening” you responded.

“I just wanna go out there get completely wasted, dance like a fool, and get laid. Can you help me with that?”

You weren't sure what the best answer was. You didn't know if you had to agree or tell her to just go back home and rest.

“Same,” the girls that were in the bathroom said laughing.

“You must do it!” one of them finished.

“So are we doing this?” She asked you again to make sure.

“You know my goal in life is to please you,” you said smiling and opening the door for her to start walking out.

You couldn't blame her, you’d even react the same way now, but years ago, you'd have ran to your house to cry for the idiot that made you suffer, and you knew this way was better than that.

Back on the dancefloor, she really did want to have fun and do all the things she mentioned earlier. Dance like nobody's watching actually fitted perfectly in that moment. With a glass in her hand, things were alright in that moment and you knew there was no need to ask. You knew her and she would come confide in you when it was the right moment.

“Oh look, there's the band!” She said and quickly disappeared in the crowd, you tried to follow her direction and to your surprise you succeeded, finding her talking with the guys from the band.

“Here's my baby girl Y/N. Isn't she gorgeous guys?” She exclaimed, wrapping her arm around you and kissing your cheek.

You mouthed an “I'm sorry” and they all laughed. The singer though, the singer and his blue eyes weren't about to leave yours.

“Why don't you sit with us?” He suggested as he made space next to him. You doubted for a second but it was already too late to say no.

“Drinks on me!!!” Your friend yelled and sat next to one of the guys, who was looking at her with a funny look on his face.

“Well, she’s paying for this round apparently,” you said smiling, while this guy was looking at you intensely.

“I'm Rob, by the way.”

Stretching out one of his hands you looked at it before looking up at the big, sweet, smile that accompanied this gesture.

“I'm Y/N, by the way.”

You both laughed and you shook his hand. That strong hand shake and those blue orbs looking at you as if you were the only one there, made your insides tremble a little.

“Beautiful name,” he added causing you to blush. “So… what's happening with her? Apart from having a bad friend that lets her get this drunk and talk to strangers.”

He looked at her and back at you, trying to look serious, but failing.

“Well, excuse me but she asked for it. She's going through a … break up of some sort and she told me she wanted to dance, get drunk and get l-” you stopped when you knew you were giving far too much information.

Rob looked at you surprised “Oh, so she wants some consoling tonight?”

“I guess. If that's what you wanna call it,”

You both smiled.

“And what do you want tonight?” He asked getting closer to you, giving you a drink and grabbing his.

“Just a friendly chat with a member of a band I saw tonight,” you said in his ear, feeling his breath against your skin as he smiled.

“Seems we are all getting what we want tonight.”

He clinked his glass against yours and before taking sip he dedicated you a wink and a big grin. Something that quickly told you that he was trouble.

TAGS: @marichromatic • @missihart23 • @natasha-cole • @notfunnystillhere • @kocswain • @apeshit7x • @princess-of-erebor1992 • @rblstrash • @spnmightkillme • @tas898 • @wontlookaway • @sirraxa • @damn-it-destiel • @i-hear-crazy-calling-my-name • @burningrupture • @internationalmusicteacher • @sherlockedtash88 • @cyrilconnelly • @srtaprieto • @dropthepizza346 • @queenofhellwithcrowley • @pinkykayley • @lauragail2007 • @two-sidedsoul • @shanghai88 • @klinenovakwinchester

[mandoalorian]

okay this may be asking too much. But can u explain to me wonder woman 1984? I saw half of it like a week ago and i saw the other half yesterday. I was paying attention yesterday but when i saw the first half a week ago i wasn't bc i was reading a fic at the same time lol. I don't have HBO max so i don't have a way to watch it. From what I understood i can say that i liked it and i can't wait to devour more max lord fics. Also what did Alistair wished for like in the middle of the movie? (When he was with max in his office) i didn't hear that part. Since i saw it on HBO i couldn't like pause and rewind. And there was also people talking around me so it was a hard movie to see. Idk when I'll see it again if i even do. But yeah. If u answer this thank you so much.

I came to u bc u KNOW that movie. I mean u legit saw it in theaters last week right? So yeah. Have a nice day 💛

Alistair is about to say “I just wish you were here daddy” (because he’s never around) when Max cuts him off and chastises him. He tells him “no, you do not wish for something you already have. You wish for greatness and success.” and then Alistair, selflessly says “then I wish for your greatness.” Alistair knows how much success means to his father and hence wishing for that. Maxwell is in so much disbelief that his son used his one wish that way, he thanks him and says “I love you so much” 🥺

Explaining WW84

Listen. I’ve seen that damned movie more times than I’d care to admit 😂 of course I’ll explain it. I’ll start at the beginning (or roughly around the beginning) since you said you weren’t paying attention.

A mall jewellery store is used as a front to sell black market goods such as jewels and artefacts. Amongst these goods is a ‘dreamstone’ which can grant wishes to those who touch it. Barbara Minerva, a geologist at the Smithsonian museum, and Diana Prince, an anthropologist, get their hands on the dreamstone. Barbara identifies it as cheap citrine and they laugh off the idea that the stone can actually grant wishes though. However, in the moment, Diana wishes for her dead boyfriend, Steve, to come back to her. He does, of course, during a gala held by the Smithsonian. After Barbara is constantly harassed and ignored, she wishes to be like Diana. Her words: “strong, sexy, special”. Obviously she doesn’t realise that wishing to be like Diana is going not going to be all that it seems...

THEN, our beloved Max Lord enters the picture. He’s been searching for this stone for a LONG time, and he believes that it can bring him the success he so desperately craves. After manipulating Barbara and swindling the stone from her at the gala, he wishes to BECOME IT. From that point on, the wish granting powers live in him. After this, Max begins his hunt for more oil in order to try and restore his failing business. He travels to Eygpt to reclaim oil land from the King, but in the process, he causes absolute chaos and destruction. Diana and Steve are there to witness it all and Diana even comes close to confronting him, where he tells her that he’s become the stone.

Whilst Barbara, Diana and Steve are trying to work out the stone’s origins and purpose, Max is back in America causing chaos everywhere he goes. He even goes to the White House and meets with the president, manipulating him into giving Max full authority and presidential powers. At this point, the world has entered a meltdown, specially between the US and Soviet Russia (since the movie is set during the Cold War). And Max is mostly to blame.

Max is getting increasingly sick with every wish he grants, because the idea is that the stone takes something from you with every wish you grant. So he gets sicker and sicker until eventually, he’s on deaths door. Diana and Steve once again confront Max, this time at the White House, but before they can stop him, Barbara, who is now VERY powerful due to wishing to be like Diana, intervenes and defends Max. Possibly because she’s crushing on him, and/or because she believes that he’s one of the only people who understand her. Max runs away and gets onto a helicopter. Barbara fights Diana and Steve, and wins, as Diana is losing her powers at the cost of wishing for Steve to come back.

Diana is getting weak and both she and Steve know that she cannot save the world so long as she keeps her wish. She must renounce her wish and give up Steve in order to stop Max and Barbara. So, reluctantly, and realising she has no other choice, she gives up Steve in a heartbreaking scene and continues pursing Max and Barbara who are now on a secret government island. Max has full access to broadcasting satellites and uses this to his advantage. He communicates to the entire world by taking over their TVs and asks them to make a wish. And so they do. Max is like a walking zombie at this point so he finally takes the world’s “health and life force,” from them, thus restoring his health. He also gives Barbara “all the strength and prowess”, turning her into Cheetah.

Diana confronts Barbara who is now fully transformed Cheetah outside and after an emotional fight, Diana begs Barbara to renounce her wish. Barbara refuses and so Diana apologises and knocks her unconscious before leaving her some place safe to go after Max. Diana can’t reach Maxwell from where he is and she’s pushed into a corner feeling helpless. Until, she throws her lasso of truth over Maxwell’s ankle and uses it to speak to the world, encouraging them to be the hero and renounce their wishes. Max thinks she’s speaking to him and asks why would he do that? But Diana tells him that she wasn’t taking to him, and she finally encourages Maxwell to see the truth.

Maxwell is confronted with the memories of his childhood that he’s repressed: his abusive father, poverty, bullying, etc. He then sees Alistair, who is alone and looking up at the nukes which are flying over the sky. Max is distraught and finally can see the chaos he’s created and he knows he MUST save Alistair. He realises his son is the most important thing to him, and that he doesn’t need success or fame or power or money, so long as he has his son. So, he renounces his wish, and the rest of the world follows, and reunites with Alistair, promising him that he’ll become a better father and begging for his sons forgiveness. Alistair smiles and reassures his dad that it’s okay, and that he loves him unconditionally.

NOW, it would’ve taken me a long time to explain a 2hr 30min movie to you. SO I hope this summary is alright and detailed enough. If you have any questions about any of the characters, or any aspects of the plot, or any scenes, FEEL free to message me! My knowledge on this movie is embarrassingly extensive but it is one of my all time favourites and I absolutely adore talking about it :) <3

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: I've just hit Pygmalion Buster: Get here Rio: Awh, I love it there Rio: but I ain't out or near ready, Inds just put on sound of music, literally 😂 Buster: Good jokes, babe Buster: Come on, there's a corner with your name on and lines I can use to spell out anything you want Rio: [Snaps] Rio: Don't be so tempting, like 😩 Buster: Says you Buster: You know you'd still get in with no wait Rio: I can't ditch on her when I just got back Rio: esp. when we're good again Buster: Bring her then Rio: You know I can't be around you and not be with you rn Rio: 💀 even harder Buster: We can get lost in these crowds Buster: It's why I chose here Rio: You make it sound too damn easy to be bad Buster: 'Cause you make me feel good like it's effortless Rio: ugh babe Rio: lemme see who we can hit up to come keep her company Buster: Make it happen, yeah? Buster: Come fuck me in this club Rio: You know I can't say no to you Buster: I know you want it as bad as I do Rio: Didn't say I WANTED to say no Buster: Tell me yes then Rio: Earn it Buster: [sends selfie of him serving a lewk i'll never be able to find. That body tho] Rio: Damn Rio: yeah okay, I need to get there before someone else does Buster: Already had some offers, like Rio: Shut up Buster: Shut me up Rio: 😡 Rio: Not coming to fight but I will 👊 Buster: That's hot Rio: You gonna find out Buster: Save some of that for me though you know I like it when we play rough, babe Rio: Oh believe, it's ALL for you, babe 😒 Buster: Yeah? Rio: Yeah Rio: Teach you to make me jealous Buster: If I was trying to make you jealous I'd be more creative, believe me Rio: If that's how you wanna play, fine Buster: Don't be mad at me, babe Buster: Gotta do something while I'm waiting on you Rio: Why get mad when I can get even Buster: What do you think you're gonna try and do? Rio: Something 'til I'm ready to come find you Buster: You're not gonna tell me, like? Rio: Don't worry 'bout it, babe Buster: I need to know who I'm fighting Rio: Save it 😉 Buster: No Rio: What I thought Rio: Oh boy, you so easy Buster: Fuck off Rio: You know you don't want that Buster: I don't want you with some other cunt in this club either Rio: As if Rio: anyway, don't be a quitter, don't let it happen Buster: It won't happen Rio: Not why I'm coming out is it Buster: 'Cause you ain't no quitter either, I know Rio: Nowhere near done with you yet Buster: Good Buster: I want you everywhere tonight Buster: Let everyone see us, I don't care Rio: It's so packed in there no one will notice Rio: you could have be on the floor legit Buster: There ain't a place you could walk in where everyone isn't gonna notice you Buster: But I'm still gonna fuck you right there Buster: I saw you first Rio: Okay coming through with that good chat, can tell you've been practising now 😜 Rio: Bit of an unfair advantage but not gonna act like I'm mad about it Buster: Shut up Buster: You know other girls aren't trying to talk to me Rio: Awh baby Rio: So much more than your body, how rude Buster: Nah Buster: Not got the personality 😂 Rio: Hush Rio: all for me, I'll get you feeling so good Buster: I know it Rio: House full of lairy teens Rio: you gon' have to distract me good for how well I've distracted Inds 😑 Buster: You've more than earned anything you want Rio: Anything? 😇 Buster: All of it, babe Rio: Can finish what we started in that London club Buster: Ready when you are Rio: Gimme a sec Rio: can't actually come in my sweats Buster: You know you could Rio: I wanna look hot for you Buster: As long as you get hot for me, come as you are Rio: Be worth it Rio: Promise Buster: Trusting you to prove that to me Rio: Haven't I always come through for you? Buster: Yeah Buster: I'm thinking about how often right now Rio: That's just the start Buster: It better be Buster: Not done with you yet either Rio: Good Rio: How long are you in Dubo for? Buster: Open ended Buster: So that depends on how good you are at convincing me to stay Rio: Yay 😋 Rio: we get to play for longer then, 'cos easy Buster: At least until Nance tells me to fuck off Rio: Maybe if you try being nice, like Buster: Fuck off I'm nice Buster: She likes her privacy more than me that ain't my fault Rio: Okay, orrrr she's waiting for you to make the first move, as it were Buster: Nah Rio: Whatevs, not my business Buster: What you mean is, tonight you ain't trying to make it your business cos you've got more important other business with me Rio: 😒 Don't push it, boy Rio: just trying to make it so you can stay, obviously Buster: Yeah well I'm not here to spend time with her so don't worry about it Buster: You reckoned you had your part easy a second ago, anyway, trying to make it more of a challenge now or what? Rio: Wouldn't kill either of you to commit a day though Rio: Trying to make life easier for everyone, fool Buster: Not mine obviously and like you said, not your business Buster: Stay out of it, like Rio: Whatever Rio: No need to be mad about it Buster: No need for you to tell me what to do but you're still trying it, yeah? Rio: I ain't Rio: Telling you what you should but no one's out here making you Buster: Well don't Rio: Okay, Christ Buster: Leave the attitude out as well Rio: Fuck off 😂 Rio: I'm allowed an opinion and I'll say it however I wanna Buster: It ain't Buster: it's a judgment Buster: And if I don't wanna hear it I don't have to Rio: That's how you're reading it Rio: I ain't judged either of you Buster: That's how you're backtracking now Buster: Calling me out for my lack of effort like you know anything about how it is Rio: How is it then? Rio: Good, yeah? Buster: Fuck you Rio: Yeah Rio: Calm down, get a drink Buster: Stop telling me what to do Buster: Fuck's sake Rio: Alright, then go be mad somewhere else, like, 'cos I don't wanna see it Rio: What do you want me to do? Buster: Yeah 'cause you're all about things being easy Buster: Whatever, Rio Rio: 'Scuse me for not wanting to be a martyr about shit Buster: Excuse yourself Rio: Not me who needs a moment, boy Buster: It's your fault though Rio: If you like Rio: Whatever works Buster: You're just dismissing me now then Rio: I'm not going to apologise for something I ain't done, Buster Rio: I'm sorry you're mad but I only had good intentions and you know it Buster: Just me, yeah? Buster: Can we just start over Rio: I'm not asking or telling you to say sorry for anything Rio: Sure Buster: But I'm sorry Buster: I didn't mean to talk to you like that Buster: I shouldn't Rio: Yeah Rio: Forget about it Buster: No Buster: It wrecks my head being here sometimes Buster: It isn't your fault though Rio: I know Rio: It's alright, honest Buster: It's really not but I'll make it alright again if you still come out Rio: Was going to anyway Rio: No telling this lot the party's off Rio: but good to know I've not gotta swerve you Buster: Please don't Buster: I need you with me Rio: I will be Rio: On my way Rio: Now we've established who can afford the uber and who's gotta get on the dart, like 🙄 Rio: fucking kids Buster: Rio Rio: Mm? Buster: Cheers, like Buster: For giving a shit about all that bullshit Rio: 'Course Rio: it's not just bullshit but it ain't for tonight, yeah Buster: I'll save it for when we stay in to watch old films about nuns and nazis, yeah? Buster: Gotcha Rio: 😂 Only if you know all the words too Rio: we're exclusive like that Buster: I'm here to provide distractions from that shite not join in 😂 Rio: It's a classic don't be a heathen Buster: Wouldn't know Buster: Nance isn't the kind of gay that loves musicals and who else is gonna force me? Rio: OH MY GOD Rio: it's on EVERY xmas what you doing Buster: opening expensive shit, eating expensive food and drinking expensive spirits Buster: Got a playlist for it, like Rio: Madness Rio: but whatever gets you feeling festive, lads Rio: is it all choral shit tho, 'cos I draw the line Buster: Nah Buster: I'd have drawn my own line years back if it were Rio: 🙌🙏 Rio: Thank God Rio: what's xmas without cheesy tunes and a fuck-off 🧀 platter Buster: You planning to be waiting under the tree to get unwrapped, like? Buster: Very invested in my plans, babe Rio: Ha, stupid Rio: as much as that'd make your xmas the best yet, just making convo so I don't have to with Indie's mates Rio: doubt they've seen sound of music either, where would I even start? Buster: 😂 Buster: Google stoner films and you'll be well away Rio: ask 'em how their killscore is on fucking, fornite Rio: down with the kids, 'tis true, lads Buster: Fucking hell Buster: Were we that bad? Rio: You know you were, boy Rio: I've always been 🔥 tho 💅😏 Buster: Shut up Buster: You loved me Rio: 😂 even if i did, no competiting with how much you loved yourself, babe Rio: not even talking about chronic 👌🍆 here Buster: You reckon? You were 😍 for me before and after our disaster 💋 like Buster: You had to have it bad Rio: Hush ya face 🙄 Rio: Who can keep up with their crushes at that age Rio: if it weren't you 💔 it was justin bieber, like Buster: 😂 Buster: Least there's no competition there, I've aged well better Rio: Take that victory, babe 😉 Buster: First of many for tonight, you'll see Rio: You planning on letting me win too or what? Buster: 'Course Buster: I have to make it up to you for how much of a cunt I was earlier Rio: Yeah Rio: Not going to disagree or turn that down Buster: Not gonna let you Rio: 🤤 Buster: Tell me what to do and I swear I won't get mad this time Rio: Yeah? Buster: Promise Rio: Quite the offer, babe Rio: Gonna have to think, make the most of it Buster: You're welcome for another distraction from being babysitter Rio: So giving Rio: See just how much you're willing to give me when I get there Buster: I want you to take it all, babe Rio: I will, but only when I have you begging me to Buster: I've missed you Rio: I've missed you too Buster: Does Indie know I'm here? Rio: I just said I'd heard a good night was going down Rio: can make yourself as visible or invisible as you wanna Buster: Alright Rio: though no doubt she'll sniff you out 😒😂 Buster: Not if I have anything to do with it Buster: It's all about you tonight Rio: Promise? Buster: I swear Buster: Nothing I won't do for you as long as you tell me Rio: Fuck Rio: Why are you so good? Buster: Gotta need up, don't I Rio: Got you tonguetied, baby? 😚 Rio: so fucking cute Buster: That and I'll go blind if you don't get here soon Buster: So turned on since Spain Rio: Me too Rio: how does it feel like a million years ago already Buster: 'Cause nobody can do what you can Rio: Damn right Rio: and I ain't going to let you forget that Buster: I can't Buster: You're all I think about Rio: I feel it too Buster: Stay with me tonight Buster: We'll make sure Indie is alright Rio: How? Rio: Nance will be there, right? Buster: I don't care Buster: It's a big enough house and she stays out of my way after a night out Buster: Not the first girl I've invited back, like Rio: What if she clocks it's me? Buster: You don't trust yourself to do better than that? Rio: It's such a risk but Rio: I want to Buster: I want you all night Rio: Can we? Buster: Yeah Rio: Okay Rio: think how you're gonna keep me quiet whilst still making me cum like you do Buster: Maybe I'll wear you out on the dance floor, babe, haven't fucked a girl on one yet Rio: 'Cos who else would? Rio: I can't help it, I want you so much Buster: I'd do anything for you Rio: I dunno how this actually happened but Rio: so glad it did Buster: me too Rio: I don't care if it's wrong Buster: It's not but it wouldn't stop me if it was Rio: Nah? Buster: No Buster: I can't help it either Buster: Not like I haven't tried to want other people more than you but Rio: Sorry Rio: You're just so gorgeous Buster: You're the hottest girl I've ever seen Buster: And that was before I'd even touched you, like Rio: Starting to think I wasn't your type, like Buster: What's my type then? Rio: Skinny white girls, usually, right? Buster: I know you don't go to my school but you've been to my postcode Buster: That's everyone's type here Rio: Right 😂 I get that its slim pickings but broaden your horizons baby boy Buster: Why? Wasn't gonna find you, was I Rio: Stop being so smooth, fuck Buster: You don't really want me to Buster: And like I said, it's all about what you want tonight Rio: Nah Rio: just throws me when you're sweet still Buster: Not sorry Buster: I like surprising you, don't you know that by now? Rio: Learning Buster: Good Rio: Can even be smug about teaching me Rio: 'cos you know I've got just as much to show you Buster: Fuck Rio: Glad you got kissing down since we last did it though 😉 Buster: How fucking embarrassing if you had to teach me that Rio: 😂 Rio: like we got all night baby but even with my talent Rio: pushing it Buster: And now you can save those talents for better things thank Christ Rio: Be thanking him and the rest when I put my lips where you really want 'em Buster: promises, promises, babe Buster: Where are you? Rio: 5 minutes away Rio: we HAD to pick someone else up, doubling this fucking fare, thanks a lot kids Rio: on my card y'all best be paying me back before I let you out my sight Buster: I'll get the drinks in then, sounds like you need more than one Rio: Please Rio: not what I need most but it's a good start Buster: I know what you're really thirsty for, don't worry Rio: thanks for not getting bored and leaving Buster: With all the promises you've made me? I'm not that stupid Rio: Have proved I'm not all talk but still Buster: I've waited longer for you Buster: Not saying I'm hanging on for years again, don't push it, but Rio: 😂 line ain't that long Rio: especially not with how i'm looking Buster: How do you look? Rio: No spoilers Rio: I want to see your reaction when I walk in Buster: I better make sure none of the lot you're with sees me then Rio: Don't worry, a load of straight skater bois are not gonna be eyeing you Buster: Better not, lover not a fighter right now, sorry lads Rio: Honestly Rio: hands off Rio: had enough of y'all for the evening and you're mine Buster: I fucking love it when you say that Rio: Good Rio: because you are Rio: not in a sharing mood Buster: Good 'cause I'm been turning down girls since I got here so a bit late to change your mind, like Rio: Not going to Rio: All for me all night, yeah? Buster: I gave you my word Rio: You know what you do to me when you're all noble and gentlemanly like that Buster: Only 'cause I know what it'll do to me when you walk in Buster: I need you to want me as bad Rio: Let's just say, there's no hiding how much I need you already in this 'fit Rio: Didn't think it through, don't care Buster: Fuck Buster: This is the longest 5 minutes of my life Rio: I know but then we've got all night Buster: If it's any consolation, right now I'm at the bar barely able to order us drinks Buster: It's not gonna help if I try and explain there's no blood going to my brain, like Rio: Defs seen it all before, like but don't be looking Rio: my daddy Rio: idc how early we have to make this a private party anyway, i'm not here to get drunk Buster: Exactly Buster: I'm stocked at home later if you want it Rio: Get our cheers' in now and we'll be all good Rio: gotta be so 🤫 like Buster: I can't wait to see you try Rio: I can't wait 'til you have to make me Buster: Jesus Buster: Never get tired of me, yeah? Rio: Keep being as good as you are and that ain't ever gonna happen Buster: Easy Rio: I'm inside Rio: fuck it's packed, I can't see a damn thing Buster: I can see you so you better find me