#okay if you're reading this: your job is to act like this is 2014 and make a really indignant reply

[antiadvil]

PHAN PROOF omg everyone I have a photo of them holding hands I can't believe phan is real

[lorata]

Okay this might be a little too spicy to ask, so feel free to ignore, but do you have any THG fanfic/fandom characterization/headcanon pet peeves? Aside from I assume one-note Careers. Mine is the way people erase the mentorship bond! I see so much Finnick stuff especially where he tells the writer’s chosen lover for him that they’re the “only one who sees the real him,” and I’m always like, hello, MAGS???

oh hard agree, plus I'm not a super fan of that even without the mentor thing. like don't get me wrong I love a good, codependent fictional relationship that would be absolutely destructive in real life (delicious) but everyone should have more than one person. there can be MULTIPLE codependent relationships! codependent fractal! a weird group of people with a weird shared experience that nobody else can hope to understand. FEED ME THAT LIKE SKITTLES.

(don't come for me about my fictional preferences. leave me and the fellowship ALONE)

on a similar note I also used to get tired of how everyone made all the mentors sexually and/or romantically involved with their victors (like Beetee/Wiress, Brutus/Enobaria or Finnick/Annie where he's her mentor, whoever.) like no shade to people who read or write it BUT I feel like there was a weird period where no one could envision ANY close relationship without writing it into a pairing. Maybe it's my aroace coming to the surface but I got a bit grumpy. So I wrote an endless permutation of complicated, intense relationships with absolutely no sex or romance aspect. what are ya gonna do about it!

one of my less controversial peeves is "peeta starts out dating glimmer who is vapid and promiscuous and cheats on him so he can get together with katniss who is perfect" like an early taylor swift song. it was E V E R Y W H E R E for a while. if there was a modern AU, Peeta was dating Mean Bitch Glimmer and she'd get her comeuppance around the end of Act I. why. please. one of Katniss' actual, literal, canon character arcs is realizing Glimmer was a person who was forced to act the way she was (her interview dress chosen by her adult stylist was SEE-THROUGH) and she died, alone, for an audience who immediately forgot she existed. and you're gonna "not like other girls" her for your wish-fulfillment barista AU. cool.

on the other end of the scale -- and this is a very personal trigger, so I don't blame anyone for liking it -- the District 5 repro girls / thin girls fanon that was rampant in 2012-2014 fanfic. a bunch of people incorporated it into their stuff but it is such a violent, visceral nope for me that if a story uses it I close the tab immediately.

characterization-wise, there is a fic i still see floating around where rue makes me scream. listen. rue is the oldest of 6 kids AND her father died when she was even younger than katniss. she has been working full time to support her family in a job where you are literally murdered for mistakes since she was nine years old. rue is calculating and intelligent, she tells katniss that peeta is "okay" when she knows he's bleeding to death because if katniss realizes he's dying she'll leave. PLEASE. respect the hustle, the girl is not naive.

ok you did say spicy so i will give you ONE (1) hot take. it drives me bananas when fanfic uses Cato Hadley and Clove Kentwell. they first appeared on wattpad in 2010, when fandom tossed a few names around for a while and hadley and kentwell were the ones that stuck. but IT'S NOT THEIR REAL LAST NAMES STOP ADDING THEM TO THE WIKIS AND TELLING PEOPLE IT'S CANON AAAAAAAAA.

there's my one petty hunger games post, lol. i am pretty live and let live, generally if I don't like something I scroll past or filter it out. the annoyance happens when it's stuff like, trying to read fic about Careers and the first page of results is just them background tagged in an ensemble fic about the main characters -- but that's a minor character in juggernaut fandom problem, that's EVERYWHERE. i do the "search within results summary: name" trick to solve that

[musesforamonday]

the conundrum of a liberal arts degree

Go ahead. Press play on the song I've included above. I promise it's not a mistake. I have included a recording of New Zealand baritone, Teddy Tahu Rhodes, singing the infamous Toreador song from Bizet's Carmen for your listening pleasure and to be the background music for the following blog post.

This is hopefully the first of many weekly Monday posts, my ADHD willing. I have returned to my 2014 One Direction obsessed roots and have come crawling back to the blogging platform of Tumblr to express my thoughts. Mostly because Twitter stresses me out and I have already scared away too many of my Instagram followers.

So why did you choose to make your readers (hopefully there are more of you than just my Mom) listen to opera as they read your chaotic and unorganized thoughts, Maryn? I'll tell you. I graduated with my bachelors degree in music where I focused my studies on opera and musical theatre performance. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I'm fairly good at what I do and was recognized for my hard work throughout my time as a liberal arts college student. I can sing in four languages, tap dance, analyze 18th century music, and explain to you how Wagnerian opera changed the world and the entertainment industry as we know it. So why the opera? Simply to be pretentious if we're being honest but mostly because I have to have a soundtrack to everything I do and that will now extend to me forcing my readers to live their lives as I do, fully believing that they are the main character and that Bizet orchestrated their lives.

As I laid out in the previous paragraph, I know what I'm talking about and was considered a respected student and performer among my community. Once I graduated I got an incredible performing job (which I still have. It's great, HOWEVER most performing jobs are not full time and do not offer benefits and are not stable. But that could just be on me for wanting to tap dance for a living.) but found myself working a 9 to 5 customer service job to pay the bills. I was terrible at it.

I had visions of working as a florist and being with plants all day (how main character of me) so I took a customer service job in a flower shop. I really loved the people I worked with and it was not a terrible job, but one thing I had failed to realize was that 90% of the work in the floral industry is working in funerals. Customer service for funeral work is not for the faint of heart and ESPECIALLY not for highly sensitive people like myself. I had to make a change when I found myself having to take a walk around the block sobbing my mascara into a dark pool on my cheeks that prompted a rather large and gruff-looking man to yell at me across the street "You okay? You're beautiful, don't let life get you down!"

I was frustrated with myself. I was once one of the most respected lyrical sopranos in my area and here I was, reduced to tears by some woman furious beyond belief over a single Gerber daisy. I voiced my feelings to my friends who are also in the same boat that I'm in, incredibly talented individuals working mundane jobs to pay for their performing careers that may or may not take off. I couldn't help but think of the astonishing vocalists and performers I work with and interact with on the daily and how they are teachers, engineers, and secretaries among many other things. Why do we spend so much of our time honing our craft only to barely use it because it isn't financially lucrative? How do you represent creative people on paper when what we do is emotional and lasts a fleeting two and half hours?

Creative people are problem solvers, empaths, and good at so much more than just singing and dancing, but the problem is we are confined to an 8.5x11 piece of paper that tells indeed.com that we are qualified for jack squat. So that is why I have revived my dormant tumblr blog. To find a creative way to represent myself on paper. (Or in this case, a shoddy html code that I taught myself how to create in high school.) I have a complicated and eccentric personality that takes many a while to get to know and appreciate. Hopefully a weekly post is going to expedite that process. XOXO, future employers. I promise I'm really funny and will find a point to this blog soon.

As we say in the opera world, Toi toi toi!

-Maryn

[lucisfavoritedemon]

Double Life

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Summary: You are a YouTuber who also happens to be an actor. You do YouTube when acting jobs seem to go scarce. One day you get a call from your manager saying he has found something that peaks your interest. What happens when you meet your co-star and your characters love interest? Will you keep it professional or will you let your feelings get to you?

Warnings: angst, sad!reader, mentions of death, comforting!Jensen, gruesome description of death, talk of murder, mentions of legal trouble.

Word Count: 1215

A/N: This is based on actual events so please be gentle. I had more hard hitting news about a close friend. So, I thought since I write like I am the reader I would share this heartbreaking tale the only way I know how to. I know its really dark and going to be hard to read, but the wounds are still fresh on this. I really hope you enjoy.

"Hello everyone. I am so glad you are here to share this experience with me. I wish it was on a better day or with a better, more funny story time video. Today, as you can tell by the title, is going to be kind of morbid so please bare with me." I said trying to calm my nerves.

I could see Jensen out of the corner of my eye. He wanted to be here when I filmed this video because he knows how much it still hurts. He was reassuring me I was doing good.

"Back in preschool, we had a small little program where we had a been assigned a pen-pal to learn more about the culture of where that person lived. There were people from all over the world. Some were from the states, the UK, France, all over. It was a really neat thing for a small little preschool/daycare to have.

"You had to be at least 4 years of age to be part of this program. It was a whole interview type of situation. You had to prove your basic reading and writing skills. It was a nice learning experience for me. Once you're in you have one more piece to go through. You have to show you are capable of writing legible sentences. That way the kids aren't struggling to read what you are trying to tell them.

"I was assigned a boy named Alexander. Later on I would get to know this boy and realised I never knew his last name. Anyway, he was from the UK and he was the sweetest person anyone could ever meet.

"He was three years older than me though, but a lot of the kids from different countries tended to be a little older than us. It was okay though because it was nice to have someone who knew things and could potentially teach me.

"It a program that you stayed until you were 10 years old. Then the younger of the two were assigned new pen-pals, but you had to reapply.

"Alex and I had sent letters back and forth for three years. Until he wasn't able to be in the program anymore. That didn't stop us though. Every now and again I would get a letter from him asking how I was doing and if school was going good. He asked about old friends, and if I had made new ones.

"He would ask if I wanted to talk on the phone, so we could talk hear each other's voices. It wasn't like face to face talking though. Eventually I had grown old enough for my mom to finally let me go see him again.

"At that point it had been almost 8 years since we first met. It was rough because we both love face to face contact more than anything else.

"The trip was amazing. I was so happy to see him again. My mom was so excited to meet him. He had changed, but the same time he hadn't. He was still the same dorky kid I met when I was 4. Now I was 12 and going into middle school. He was going into what would be high school for him.

"We talked, we wrote, and when I got my first phone that you could text people on, we texted all the time. It was the best thing to have a friend like him.

"On my good days we would laugh, and on my bad days he would talk to me into the late hours of the night. It was so amazing to know I was cared about by someone I had only met twice in my life.

"When I got into acting and my career I was able to fly out and see him more. He found himself a girlfriend. I didn't necessarily approve of her, but she made him happy and that's all I cared about.

"As time went on he was starting to get these really horrible headaches. Headaches that even the slightest bit of light would make him sick. He could sit in pitch black darkness and it still hurt.

"I told him he needed to go see a doctor, and finally after months of pleading he finally went. He found out he had a brain tumor. The headaches were caused by excess fluid in his brain and that he needed surgery to remove the fluid.

"He called me that night freaked out and terrified. He didn't want his life to end like this and he didn't want to do it alone.

"I told him I was always here. Just a phone call and a plane ride away. If he needed anything I was going to be on the next flight out.

"A week later he called me freaking out about surgery. He didn't want to die on an operating table. He still had things he wanted to do. Place he wanted to see.

"He still wanted to come out and see Colorado. Or go to Los Angeles. He was so determined he was going to make it out to see me one last time.

"On January 2, 2014 Alex passed away from a severe seizure. He was found in his apartment a day later. Covered in blood and vomit. And his girlfriend was nowhere to be found.

"Things have come to light in the what was just a death caused by cancer was now something that could have been prevented. It had soon become a murder investigation.

"The doctors said they had prescribed him with a new supply of epilepsy medication to help with the seizures. Looking back on the report that medication was all gone.

"His girlfriend was going charged with murder and possession of non prescription medication.

"Two days after her arrest she was found hung in her cell. The guilt finally caught up to her, or she didn't want to man up to the crime she had committed.

"Who knows how much longer Alex would've lived if she hadn't done it, but it's over and done with.

"I wanted to let you guys know that everything is okay, but him being gone for 5 years is still hurting. Alex was my best friend before I even met Jess.

"Sometime this week I should be getting a package shipped out from what he had included in his will. I finally have some justice and closure as to what happened, but it doesn't make it any easier.

"Thank you for sticking with me. I know this was a lot to handle and everything. Please if you liked this video or just liked the fact I shared something very personal please leave a like.

"I will leave a playlist of funny story time videos. Don't forget to subscribe. I will see you guys next time. Bye."

I wiped all my tears away. As I turned off the camera. It wasn't long till I was being embrace by a pair of strong arms. Jensen was truly sent to me by Alex. It's how I know he's still with me.

He knew that Jensen would be able to provide me what he provided me. That was the coolest thing. It's how I know Jensen is the one.

Tags:

@anotherwaywardsister @archangel-michael98 @atc74 @bella-ca @canadianspnhunter @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog @ericaprice2008 @impala-dreamer @impalaimagining @katymacsupernatural @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @luci-in-trenchcoats @mamaredd123 @masksandtruths @mirandaaustin93 @muchamusedaboutnothing @our-jensen-ackles-love @roxyspearing @sea040561 @snffbeebee @spnwaywardwitch @squirrelnotsam @winchesterprincessbride